#I feel like Kakuzu would be fun to play with too but he's not a jinchuuriki so this post isn't about him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

or0ch1maru · 3 months

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akatsukis kinks and turn offs?

18+, full blown smut, kinks, and more smut

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Omg omg omg, I had wayyyy too much fun writing these. Also! If anyone wants a one shot of a specific character with the kinks I’ve listed, pleaseeeeee let me know and I’d be more than happy to write it, especially for Tobi, Hidan, or Zetsu🫶🏻

I feel like Hidan has done everything at least once, and if there’s something he hasn’t done, he’s more than willing to try. This man is KINKY. I imagine his favorites are period play(or anything involving blood), s&m, fucking outside with the thrill of getting caught, knife play, and threesomes. I believe his turn off’s would be the “I don’t use safe words” thing. Hidan is intense when it comes to sex, and he won’t do it with just anybody either. He must have a safe word for his sessions and if you refuse to use one, just know you won’t be getting in his pants.

Kakuzu is similar to Hidan, has done everything at least once and isn’t close minded about trying new things. I know for a fact his tendrils would definitely come into play, whether it’s him tying you up, or toying with your clit. He’s definitely partnered up with Hidan for three ways, and just like him, also requires a safe word. I imagine Kakuzu enjoying a daddy kink as well, would lose his composure the second the word slips from your lips four orgasms in. Big into brat taming, but when it comes to turn off’s, just like with Hidan, if you have the no safe word mindset, he won’t be down.

I’ve mentioned this before but I truly believe Konan is into Shibari. Has a whole collection of ropes, of all different colors too. Mostly pastels; pinks, blue’s, and purple’s. I see her as being a passionate lover, with intense sessions time to time. Loves bringing toys into the bedroom, and her favorite to use on you would be her Hitachi. I can imagine Konan being into impact play as well, using only her hand or her paddle, likes seeing little pink marks on your ass or thighs. Would primarily be the top with you and unless she has stated it otherwise, WILL NOT be down to be topped. She needs absolute trust in her partner before allowing them access to her that way. If you try to top her during sex, it’ll turn her off.

Sessions with Pain can last relatively long, only because he loves to draw it out. Mixing pleasure with pain, but it’s never done to hurt you, wants you to experience pleasure in all aspects. I believe he’s into piercing play, also known as recreational acupuncture, or needle play. Aftercare is a very important thing to Pain, especially with the minor wounds that were inflicted during your session. I think his only turn off would be if you thought aftercare was stupid or unnecessary. Especially the times when he requires aftercare too.

Our sweet explosive loving babe. I feel like Deidara hasn’t experimented much with kinks, and the few he has tried, he wasn’t crazy about. How some people are into riding their partners fingers, you’d be riding his hand. Could cum just from watching you ride the appendage that sits between the lips on his palm. As stated in the show, Deidara isn’t into s&m. I feel like he tried it once but the thought of inflicting pain on his partner was too much for him and visa versa. Even though he loves bombs and explosions, I feel like he’s more of a gentle partner.

I can see Sasori absolutely loving when his partner sits on his face. Is the type to get upset if you don’t sit your entire body weight down on him, would grab hold of your thighs, pulling you down onto him and holding you there. Loves looking up and seeing your eyes rolled back, tears streaming down your face as you continuously cum on his tongue. Bonus points if you end up squirting. Apart from that, I can imagine him using his chakra threads on you, whether it’s holding you still when you start to squirm, or when you start faltering when riding his cock, his threads would help keep you balanced. I don’t think he’s be into food play. Since Sasori doesn’t need to eat like others do, he sees no use for it, in or outside of the bedroom.

Breeding kink, I repeat, BREEDING KINK. With Uchiha’s, they form deep bonds, and love the hardest. So naturally, that would be reflected during sex. Itachi loves filling you up, and then watching as you go about your business throughout the compound full of him. I think he also enjoys when you ride his thighs. If he’s busy working on something at his desk, best believe one hand will be holding your lower back, helping you keep your rhythm. I personally think Itachi’s turn off would be Dacryphilia. Only because he doesn’t like seeing you cry. He strives for his partner’s happiness.

Just like Hidan, I feel like Kisa enjoys period sex. Has a container under his bed full of towels specifically for that time of the month. Apart from that, I imagine he likes choking, Dacryphilia, and rough sex in general. Loves seeing the scratches you leave on his back or the bite marks left on him. When he has you in doggy or bent over any hard surface, best believe his large hand will have a fistful of your hair. Now for turn offs, I don’t think he’d do anything risky where he could get caught. Just like a lot of his comrades, he’s protective over his partner and doesn’t want anyone seeing what’s his. Especially in such a vulnerable state.

Now, you can get either Tobi, or Obito, it truly depends on his mood, or situation. Our sweet gentle Tobi loves seeing his partner in cute little outfits, especially a maid outfit. I see Tobi as more of a sub honestly and if he acts out, and you want to punish him for it, his all time favorite is edging. If you happen to act like a brat, just know Obito won’t hesitate to grip you by the hair and walk you back to your shared room. Rough sex, double penetration, and surprisingly exhibitionism. As long as others don’t see his face/scarring, he will fuck you senseless in front of others/doesn’t care if someone walks in during. Will even hold a conversation with said person while he fucks you. Even when alone, loves fingering you with his gloves on. Tobi wouldn’t want to see you cry, just like Itachi, he doesn’t like seeing his partner upset. With Obito, I don’t think he’d like sensory deprivation. Doesn’t enjoy having any of his senses taken away, wants to be able to hear, and see every reaction he pulls from you.

Just like Tobi, you can get either Black or white Zetsu. All depends on their mood & said situation. White Zetsu loves nothing more than praising you, especially when his cock is buried deep in your throat, with tears threatening to fall, black Zetsu is all for degrading you. Will mush your face into a wall, a desk, the mattress, and take you from behind, whispering dirty words as you take him fully. I also fully believe Zetsu is into having sex outside, and orgasm control/denial. Enjoys hearing you beg to cum, bucking your hips into him or the toy just to get yourself off when you can’t take it. As well as quickie’s. Won’t hesitate to pull you into a bathroom and fuck you silly before walking about like he didn’t do anything. I think his only turn off would be being bitten. For some reason I imagine Zetsu being really sensitive and doesn’t like the blunt pain one can inflict by digging their teeth into him.

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#akatsuki #akatsuki members #konan headcanons #zetsu x reader #kakuzu headcanons #sasori akatsuki #hidan headcanon #itachi uchiha smut #itachi headcanons #kisame headcanons #obito smut #pain akatsuki #deidara smut #akatsuki smut #hidan smut #sasori smut

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yowyowyaoi · 8 months

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Konan’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Zetsu

If I keep the bodies OUTSIDE is it a problem then??

Rather angelic-looking with the paper wings.

A 72-hour gengetsu just because he thought I was going to eat it?! Cat isn’t even my favorite meat!

Ah but you’re much more diplomatic in handling their complaints.

I’ve tried but you absolutely cannot reason with him when it comes to money.

It may be time to change hideouts soon, the two young ones have attracted too much negative attention here.

From Itachi

It was so good, thank you!

I appreciate the touch of color.

Kisame’s not here Kakuzu said he’d charge me and Deidara laughed. You are my last hope. PLEASE come and KILL THIS SPIDER 😓

Please come with I know you’d enjoy yourself.

The last time I rode on one he made it do a flip mid-air and I almost fell into the ocean. And he laughed so hard he threw up 😒

Define “too much” cake 🤔

He helped suppress the coughing but fever’s still pretty high.

I can take them in small doses.

From Sasori

Don’t worry, an issue like that is almost child’s play to correct surgically.

You’re one of the few that I DO trust, my dear.

I’ll give it back when I decide he’s not as annoying anymore.

If I could eat I’m sure that would be delicious.

I love him more than anything but that arrogant brat can never actually KNOW how much I do.

Put a few drops in your tea, you’ll sleep like a baby.

You and Nagato should really raise the standards for whom you decide to recruit into this organization.

Please accompany me; I’m sure you’d love the wildflowers.

You either move his room down the hall or he’s becoming my next puppet.

From Kakuzu

I understand but we can’t afford it at the moment. Those three will just have to bunk together for the time being.

Thank you, my dear.

Harsh BUT it saved us hundreds.

Never anyone who didn’t fully deserve it.

Trust me, in the long run it’s a good investment.

Sasori may be better suited to treat that than myself.

I’ll speak to him about it but it’s like talking to a wall.

Purely an accident. A needed one, but still.

If they do it again I’m decapitating them both.

From Deidara

I mean I never have, but if I did, she couldn’t be anyone but YOU 💛

Omg Omg OMG I HAVE DIRT ON HIDAN YOU NEED TO HEAR!!

We were sword fighting! Shit I didn’t know that was Leader’s cane 😣

We can both make birds. Paper and clay.

Idk I mean I kinda think that he likes me or something but I’m with Sasori so 🤷🏼‍♂️

My eyes feel fucked. I tried on Uchiha’s glasses, that bastard is BLIND af! I didn’t even think they could make lenses that strong!

Come with us fishing I swear you’ll have fun! I’ll bait your hook so you don’t gotta touch the worms 😁

I’m not sure but I bet a C3 would solve the problem.

He stuffed half a roll of toilet paper in there and flushed. He thought it’d be funny.

From Kisame

There’s no way you’re going alone. I’ll come with you.

My thanks. Samehada appreciates such treats.

Woman or not you’re quite strong aren’t you?

No need to cook mine at all. I prefer raw.

I could teach you if you wish. It’s a good skill to have.

Please join us for tea?

It’s outside your door. Thank you again.

Zetsu got to him first 😤

Itachi isn’t feeling up to it. Would you care to accompany me? The moon makes it very bright.

From Tobi

He bit me first!

Kisame ate them because he said he wanted a snack 😔

He DOES love me he just doesn’t know it yet!

Wanna see the spider I found in the garden?

I borrowed your lotion and i accidentally used it all 😓

Game night game night GAME NIGHT!!!

Blue. Like Senpai’s eyes 😌

Can I lick the spoon when it’s done?

No I saw Kakuzu kill him three days ago

From Hidan

Yeah but my intentions were good for once!

Pls come show me how to do this I keep burning it 😓

Oh yeah I forgot … haha don’t freak out I’ll replace it

You wanna come with? I bet you’d be great at it!

Tell him he can suck my dick, I ain’t doing that 🤷‍♂️

We’re gonna loot it, I’ll bring you back something cool!

Ngl you’d look HOT with my scythe 😍

I’ll beat that skinny twink’s ass 😤

Yeah but like he’s skin and bones that’s just kinda creepy

I guarantee if you just listen to ONE sermon you’ll convert!

From Nagato

The prettiest thing you could ever wear is that gorgeous smile of yours ❤️

Well it’s far too late to replace them so I suppose we just have to deal.

Are you joking? Yahiko would have killed me!

Should have been a dating service and not a criminal organization, eh? 😂

Sasori said it would help ease the pain for when I’m standing.

Woke up today thinking of Chibi. I miss him 😞

No but if you come sit on my lap I bet I could make it better 😉

What about the others? Do they seem happy with it?

If I never see another drop of rain for as long as I live I’ll die a happy man.

My God how do you manage them?! I had to talk to Deidara and Hidan by myself and I thought I would kill them after the first two minutes!

I don’t care. You’re beautiful no matter what.

Well we could always say we’ve disbanded the group, turn them loose, then hunt them for sport 😊

#konan #text message #texting #the akatsuki #nagakona #nagato x konan #Akatsuki Daily Texts Series #nagato uzumaki #deidara #sasori #kakuzu #hidan #zetsu #tobi #kisame hoshigaki #itachi uchiha

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tozettastone · 9 months

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Ask meme: Hidan/Ino

For the "send me the rarest pair you can think of and I'll tell you if I ship it and how I think it can work" ask meme

Do I ship it? I could be convinced to ship this one, I think.

How it can work: It's actually not that they're both loud, conceited, competitive and convinced they're right... although, yes, Ino seeing so much of herself in Hidan is kind of fun in a schadenfreude-y way.

I think there's some startlingly coherent shared and contrasted themes going on between these two. In terms of their skills, both of them are basically one trick ponies—but for each of them, it's a hell of a trick. They both focus on wresting control of a body away from its owner, and then forcing them to act against their own interests, which is such a specific thing to have in common. But they come at it from such different directions.

I don't know if I feel it's romantic, exactly, but I do think there could be a lot to get into between these two, especially if you really lean into the concept of Jashinism as a religion that sees human connection forged through suffering.

Without wishing to spoil too much of a thing I've been working on, here's an excerpt:

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"What happens if someone kills him?" Hidan wondered, twirling his kunai around one finger. "While you're... inside him?"

He said 'inside,' like he knew it to be the deepest of intimacies. It was, but Ino did not like to think of it that way. And she certainly did not like to think of Hidan thinking of it that way, either.

"Why?" asked Ino, warily.

She needn't have bothered being so guarded, because Kakuzu answered him instead:

"A technique like that... She perceives all his senses as her own. If the shock doesn't kill her, she might return to her own body. Slowly."

Hidan leaned forward. He hadn't looked away from Ino's face at all. "The shock, huh." He raised his eyebrows at her. "Well, what if you knew it was going to happen?"

Her brow furrowed. "...What?"

"Don't play stupid with me," he complained, like this was a completely reasonable line of questioning and she was only being recalcitrant. "If you knew, and we killed him—could you feel it, and come back still?"

A cold shiver ran down her spine.

"Um," said Ino. The answer was 'yes,' but she didn't think it would be, uh, super smart to tell Hidan that. "That would be... really risky," she said instead.

Hidan licked his mouth. His eyes were all pupil and his lips were glossy and wet. He leaned in closer. "Yeah?"

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There's a lot here that could be a bit sexy from a certain angle! But it's also an interesting gen vibe.

#anon #ask #naruto #hidan #yamanaka ino

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ladykissingfish · 2 years

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Okay, so, say (modern day times) the Akatsuki went to spend a day at the beach together. Who’s doing what?

Oh, this is a fun one. Let’s see:

Well, I don’t think Kakuzu is one for “fun in the sun” unless there’s some money involved. So I would bet he’d somehow find a way to set up some kind of snack or souvenir stand by the water, to make some cash. The younger members (Deidara and Hidan) probably try to come to him for free food, and of course they’re shot down. Or, worse, “You can have an ice cream cone if you work a five hour shift, brat.”

Sasori, let’s pretend that he’s still human for a sec. If he was at the beach I’d imagine all the sand would make him feel right at home back in the Hidden Sand. If he was in a good mood that day, maybe he’d help some kids make sand castles. If his usual stoic or deadpan self, he’d probably sit under an umbrella the whole day reading a book.

Deidara and Hidan, I could see being all over the damn place, abs competing like crazy. Who can make the bigger sand castle, who can swim better, etc. If it’s the kind of beach with waves I could see them both being surfers and trying to one-up each other on who can catch the biggest waves. They’ll have to be reminded by Konan to put on sunscreen but they’ll both “forget” and come home that day red as tomatoes. Eventually their insane energy will wear them out and they’ll fall asleep until the others wake them to go home.

Zetsu is a plant so he’d probably really enjoy the combination of sunlight and water … but in moderation. Too much of anything is never good when it comes to greenery, so when he needs to take a break I could see him sitting quietly and reading with Sasori, or maybe helping Kakuzu with his food stand.

Itachi isn’t really a fan of the water. Not a fan of the beach either but he goes because the others insist he does. Most likely to just stay still in one place, and either read a book or take a long nap. He’s a really sound sleeper and Deidara and Hidan always try to bury him as far as they can in the sand before he wakes up … or before one of the others catches them. Is the only one to score free eats from whatever food Kakuzu is peddling, and will quietly enjoy his sweet treat in the shade.

Nagato and Konan I can see being there as kinda like “parents”, supervising the others and making sure they don’t get into too much trouble. Konan also likes to work on her tan, wearing the tiniest bikini possible so that she can get maximum skin exposure … the others have a hard time not wandering over to her towel to look. Nagato doesn’t get outdoors as much as he needs to, and has to thick-coat himself in heavy sunscreen and wear the darkest shades imaginable to withstand the brightness of the sun. He has the type of complexion that doesn’t tan, he burns, so spends a lot of time under the shade.

Kisame is out in the water. I mean, REALLY out in the water. Like scuba-diving without the gear, thousands of feet below the surface. Sometimes likes to catch smaller fish to eat, sometimes just likes to gaze at the beauty of the ocean floor, sometimes both. If Deidara or Hidan are out in the water he likes to do the Jaws thing and grab them by the leg and pull them under, which of course terrifies them, although they try to play it off. When tired of the water, will be the one trying to convince the other members to do a team activity, like have a volleyball game.

Obito is like Itachi in that he doesn’t really like the beach either, but came along at the others’ insistence. He’ll likely spend most of the day keeping to himself, exploring hidden sand paths or collecting seashells, maybe take a quick dip in the water then walk around until he dries off. If he can get Deidara away from Hidan, he likes to walk around with him and talk about the “artistic” aspects of the beach; the waves, the sand, the sun, the birds and the trees. It’s one of the only times that the two can have a quiet, thoughtful conversation with each other. If in the mood sometimes he’ll go for a jog around the beach, to get in some exercise.

#the akatsuki #the beach #going to the beach #konan #nagato #deidara #sasori #obito uchiha #itachi uchiha #kisame #zetsu #kakuzu #hidan

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obitoshotaf · 2 years

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Akatsuki dad headcannons? Like what kind of dad would they be like and what daily life is like with y/n as their wife and their lil family?

(I lowkey hate y/n getting prego au's but we shall do this for comedy also sorry for not posting for a bit cause school T-T but now it's break and now im back) NOT INCLUDED KONAN CAUSE U JUST SAID DADS BESTIE IDK IF U WANTED MOMS TO

Sasori

I have many questions one being, how? Like he is a puppet yk, but let's say you had adopted or something just one thing led to another and you guys now have a kid. Okay, I feel like Sasori would be a very decent dad (although may experiment on your kids if they are human just saying) but he would be so nice other than that. He would do all the things he never got to have as a child with his dad like playing ball, woodworking together, father-child outings just the really sweet stuff. Also fun little extra I feel like if they were puppets he would try so hard to simulate the actual human life experiences for them like taste so they can do things like eat ice cream and feel emotions.

Hidan

Hidan would be a "cool dad" by that I mean he would teach them all the wrong things. Basically, Hidan as a father to me is like if the Christian conservative dad kept all his ways of putting his beliefs on his kids but as a Jashinist anarchist. So like "NO YOU LITTLE SHITS I TOLD YOU AT LEAST 5 KILLS FOR JASHIN, OR ELSE NO ICE CREAM" It would be hilarious. Also, feel like his only rules would be "worship Jashin, don't die, and always use protection." Other than that he would be the most fun, dad, ever but your kids would never want him to pick them up from school cause all their friends would get a crush on him. He would also just be like a more ruthless Uncle Jesse (from full house) in my opinion.

Kakuzu

Kakuzu would be the most awful damn dad istg idc what you say. Like okay okay he would be good emotionally but financially those kids gonna be looking broke af for some rich kids. he would also be super protective and shit like you wanna ask his kid out to prom okay "how much?". Mans finna try and make money out them kids. Hell, he may even sell them behind your back. But in all honesty, he would teach them how to save and spend money and raise pretty good kids.

Itachi

Itachi would be the best dad and I mean that with all my heart (and this is coming from someone who doesn't feel sexually attracted to him at all). Itachi would take your kids on outings, to go get ice cream, amusement parks, festivals, ect. Also he would be like the best at calming them down and helping them thru things like mental breakdowns or just really bad days. And when they are babies he would be so scared to shower them he would activate his sharingan to make sure they don't get hurt. Also he would def get them plushies like tons and a pet cat. Also Sasuke would be an amazing uncle and just spoil them kids rotten.

Deidara <3

Deidara would be a very awesome father, he would make sure his kids take pride in both his and their own arts. He would love to make their events a "blast" by adding cool fireworks and stuff. He would also be the type to pull pranks on all of you nothing that would hurt you guys ofc but still, it would be really funny. Also, he would blow up the kids' exes' house if needed too. (was the kid in the house when he blew it up no one needs to know <3) He would also take so much pride in his children and show them off like gold.

Pain

Pain would be a decent father he would be there for his kids when they needed him, however, he would turn them into the biggest edgelords and emos. I'm taking pure my chemical romance fans with no shame. Enough piercings to make a car with the metal, just pure edge. But he would love them to death and take care of them with his life. He would take them to hot topic every week and they would all match too.

Kisame

Kisame would be another awesome dad. He would be kinda like a beach dad where you would all live near the beach and he would teach the kids how to swim, take them to the ice cream truck on his shoulders and he would also teach them how to swim. Also, I feel like as they are learning he would do that thing where he goes underwater and pulls them under by their feet and then goes back up with them and then just laughs as they just got scared shittless. And they would all go on weekends and clean up the beach and the waters so that the animals there don't get hurt. <3

Obito <3

Obito would be another god of a dad, he would spoil them kids rotten. He would take them and play all the sports train them, teach them, give them piggy back rides, let them ride on his shoulders, tell them bedtime stories, ect. He would love them and you to death protecting you guys at all costs. Those kids would be going to school in damn uchiha crests and gucci istfg.

Zetsu

black zetsu

he would eat his damn kids.....

(white Zetsu would be a mix of Sasori and Obito)

#naruto #akatsuki #anime #anime gif #obito uchiha #kisame #zetsu #sasori #deidara #hidan #kakuzu #pain naruto #itachi uchiha #naruto shippuden #naruto series #headcanon

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deaththesyd · 3 years

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To The Brink Of Confession: Chapter 1, "He's not ugly"

I'd like to blame @mytanuki-kun for one of their works inspiring this side project that is now in the way of my Kisame week progress. As frustrating as this is, I'm having fun with this one and I'm excited to write my first true multi-chapter fic, even if it doesn't fit with the rest of my works and their timeline.

Summary: At first, she had shrugged it off as him simply being worn out from all the social interaction, but if that was the case, why was he only avoiding her?

At first, she had let it slide. Being super friendly and interacting with people was draining after all, and being forced to live in close quarters with such a loud group was sure to take its toll on even the most extroverted people. His avoidance lasted the entire rest of his time spent in her world, but she didn’t worry. As usual, a month passed by before she herself was teleported away into the foreign world of Jutsu, violence, and ninja. She even shook off her doubts when instead of her usual escorts, she was picked up by Kakuzu and Hidan, being told that the others were all preoccupied with important missions, ones that she would only be a distraction from. Entertaining as she found the duo and their antics, she couldn’t exactly hide her disappointment from the silver-haired loudmouth she had grown to consider a friend.

“What’s with all the moping, huh?” He said loudly, stood in front of her, face lowered to look her directly in the eyes as she had been watching the ground as she walked. Blocking her path forward, she stopped to look up at him, forcing herself to push down her thoughts and play them off as nothing. Surprising as it may be, Hidan wasn’t entirely self-absorbed and happened to be pretty talented at sensing other's emotions, a skill that he very rarely made use of. Not that it was really all that hard to see that something was up with her. Always easy to read, an open book, she was the worst liar and easily the most sincere person he had met. He seriously couldn’t stand her mood lately, it was worried and upsetting. Mixed with Kakuzu’s ongoing anger at everything and everyone, the irritating emotions were mixing and giving Hidan a headache. There were only two ways he could think of to fix this, either piss off Kakuzu to relieve his built-up stress and risk an explosive and painful response, or play concerned friend and get the woman lagging behind them to return to her normal upbeat self. Contemplating both options, the least painful option seemed the best bet.

“It’s not nothing, I can tell, so don’t bother lying, you’re shit at it anyway,” he cut her off as she tried to reply.

She tried anyway. “Really though,” she said, smiling almost convincingly, “I’m just lost in thought, we’ve been walking all day, can you blame me for tuning out?” Waving him off, she sidestepped him to follow after Kakuzu, who had not stopped for them and was quickly leaving them behind.

Knowing that the likelihood of being separated from Kakuzu was high if they didn’t keep up with the old man, he didn’t hold her back but stayed by her side to press for a proper response. “I said not to fucking lie,” he spoke casually knowing that anything truly harsh would only shut her up further, “you’ve been like this ever since you got here, it’s not just you being tired of walking.”

Sighing, she replied, “Ok, you’re right that I’m not just tired, but it’s nothing, really. I just need to manage it by myself.” No longer lying was a step forward, but she kept her lips tight on whatever it was. She was stubborn, but Hidan was persistent.

“What’s with you being all shy all of a sudden? You’re always so fucking talkative no one but Fishface can get you to be quiet,” he complained, almost missing how she reacted at the mention of the tall swordsmen. He grinned, seemed like he had a hook. “Awe, is this about your little crush on the big guy? Did you ask him out and he chickened out?” He laughed cruelly.

It wasn’t much of a secret that she had feelings for Kisame, she wasn’t very good at hiding how he caught her eye, often spacing out while watching him train, and making any excuse to get his attention. Everyone at some point had noticed the flush to her face around him, or the fond look in her eyes as she looked up at him. To most, it wasn’t anything to focus on. Kakuzu and Sasori couldn’t care less about it, as long as she wasn’t being obnoxious, Itachi seemed to keep a careful watch over her and her interactions with his partner, his reasons were unknown to Hidan who couldn’t care less about the Uchiha. Deidara and Hidan made sure to poke fun and tease her at any opportunity, making sure to keep their taunts from the man of her affections, trying to draw out their entertainment as long as they could. After months of this, she had become accustomed to the mostly friendly jeering from the two and had begun to poke fun at herself as well. It seemed she had resigned herself to watching from afar and keeping her flirting to a level that was easily mistaken for friendly conversation by the oblivious man.

Years of being acquainted with Kisame had only given Hidan a surface-level knowledge of the man, but recently he had noticed just how unconfident truly was of his looks, something he of course zeroed in on immediately. 6 foot whatever and hulking over even Kakuzu, it was hilarious to him that the member of the legendary Swordsmen of the Mist was both self-conscious over his fishy appearance, and his years of training as a ninja had not taught him to notice the obvious signs that a woman was into him. How anyone could be so unaware, yet so skilled was beyond him.

Her face saddened at his words, her brow furrowing, and her eyes cast themselves to the ground again. “I haven’t said anything, but I think he might have caught on,” she said quietly.

Despite her clearly upset confession, he grinned. “Way to go! Fishface finally figured out how to see above water, wondered if his brain was just waterlogged,” he snickered, excited that he could finally openly pick on him over the subject, but she didn’t smile and remind him to be nice like she normally did when he made digs at the sharkman. Clearly not a good sign then.

“I think he’s avoiding me,” she said, looking defeatedly at her shuffling feet. Now that made no sense.

Not long after it was clear to everyone but Kisame that she had an attraction to the tall man, it became more and more obvious that it was reciprocated. As much as she stared at him, he stared at her. Less openly, probably why it had taken everyone a while longer to see it, but it was well known that the two were complete idiots that had no clue the other was just as interested as they were. Part of Hidan had wanted to tell them immediately, embarrass them and make a scene out of it all, but another part of him had held onto their frustrations and fed off of it as a much more drawn-out entertainment source. Deidara was in on it too, saying that as much as he wanted to set off an explosive show by forcing their feelings out into the open, he also wanted there to be a build-up. In the meantime, they got to tease their fishy accomplice as much as they could get away with without pissing him off and alerting the other half of the pining duo. The fact that Kisame was avoiding her after finding out she felt the same was not what anyone had expected. For once in his life, Hidan was pissed at the drama of it. He would not admit that he was actually looking forward to the two becoming a couple.

“Bet he’s just scared that someone thinks his ugly mug is hot and is worried for your sanity,” he laughed. Her hand smacked him halfheartedly.

“He’s not ugly.” She said sternly, “Although with how forward I’ve been, he may have been creeped out,” she smiled, but there was a twinge of pain on her face that Hidan couldn’t help but notice. It pissed him off, his whole religion was about inflicting pain and death for his God, but seeing her genuinely upset gave him a feeling of frustration on her behalf.

“There’s no way he’s creeped out by your creepy staring,” he found himself attempting to reassure her, feeling as though he was betraying his and Deidara’s whole scheme. “He’s clearly just as much a creepy stalker as you are.”

Unsure that she had heard him correctly, she looked up to see Hidan avoiding eye contact, looking off the side of the road, ignoring her reaction purposely. “I don’t see how he’s the stalker,” she laughed humorlessly, “When he’s the one avoiding me.”

“Of course you don’t, you’re just as fucking blind as he is,” he muttered. Her sudden giggle made him look at her in suspicion. “The hell’s so funny?”

She brought a hand to try and stifle her laughter before she spoke, “What’s got you all grumpy now? Upset someones not crushing back on you?” She teased, eyes darting to look at the silent man trudging forward ahead of them, then back at Hidan.

The glare he shot her only made her giggles slightly louder. “What the fuck are you gettin’ at?” He spat, daring her to continue.

Humming whimsically, she spoke, “I just think that maybe you’re projecting some of your own frustrations onto someone else.”

He should have chosen to piss off Kakuzu. She may have been the lesser of two evils at a first glance, but the ability she had to force him into subjects he would rather avoid was something he had forgotten to account for in his earlier decision. Unlike the completely requited yet oblivious relationship between her and Kisame, Hidan’s own feelings were something he tried to ignore whenever possible. It was just a shitty joke she had made, something about how Hidan should leave her alone since he was really just trying to make the old man jealous. Something he should have shaken off with a normal insult towards the old miser, yet he had frozen, caught off guard by the accuracy. That was the one and only time he had ever allowed himself to come out to someone and let them live. It was shameful in the church to have feelings of devotion for anyone but Jashin, yet wanting someone that couldn’t produce more followers was even more so. Adamantly, he refused his feelings towards the man, but since that day she had treated his explicit flirting as nothing more than a show.

Embarrassed as he was, his comeback held no bite, and her teasing and further avoidance of the earlier topic increased. Eventually, it turned into a loud argument that reached Kakuzu’s ears, who ended their annoying discussion by threatening them both. She was easier to scare, but whatever they had been squabbling about had made Hidan more feisty than normal.

“Fuck off you old dick! There’s plenty of politer ways to ask to be included in a conversation,” came the danger prodding taunt from the young man. It was hard to guess why, but the older man’s fuse was shorter than usual, and the woman yelped as a dark arm split off from the man's torso to grab the face of the loudmouthed man right beside her. Flailing wildly and ineffectively he was dragged along the ground, yanked by the harsh grip of the intolerant man. Green eyes surrounded by red sclera flashed at her, warning her she would be next if she didn’t follow quietly. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she did just that.

#hidan #kakuzu #kisame #kisame x reader #mild swearing #upset that im writing this instead of kisame prompts #I wrote this just to clear my head and now im writing a multichapter fic wtf #Changed the title cause I hated it

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mixelation · 3 years

Note

The 6 characters ask for except with the Akatsuki. You can choose to take multiple characters to prom/etc

do the sexy love™ with: Deidara. He has three tongues. u.u

sacrifice myself for: None of these assholes. But in the interest of having to pick someone: Konan. She deserved better. :/

kick: Kisame.... mostly because I think this is the person least likely to do something terrible in retaliation. At least with the other acts of violence there's a chance at escape 8|

take to prom: At first I was trying to figure out who would be the best date, but then I remembered at prom we all abandoned our dates immediately to hang out with friends. So the actual criteria is: who can I get to spend money on me? Who would look good in a photo? And so I am picking "former clan heir" "probably buys into heteronormativity in terms of who pays for the limo" Itachi. And then Sasori because I feel like he'd be good at playing dress up and I wouldn't have to figure out wtf to do with my hair. u.u

....And then because I'm struggling to put some people in categories, I will also bring Kakuzu along with me bc I feel like he'd back me up on why Itachi should be paying for everything. Yes Itachi you have to pay for the photobooth, duh. This has become a very elaborate prom plan. I want our photo to look like this except I am the only one smiling:

abandon in jurassic park: Hidan. But also I would totally go to Jurassic Park with Orochimaru if I got a guarantee of my own safety. I thought it would be fun to-- wait this is the opposite of what this is asking for fhdjskla

push off a bridge: Zetsu. He'd probably live but a girl can try. Also I forgot about Pein so he can go here too

#i struggled with sorting this many people into categories dhjsalf #ask meme answers

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ohshitmomitsawritingblog · 4 years

Note

Yeesss an active Naruto account! So glad I found you 💗 I really like how you portrayed Kakashi in your last post and I would like to request J, O and Y for Kakashi and Hidan pls 💕

Yeaahhhhh!! nart fandom is still going strong even in 2020! I started to re-read nart back in November of ‘19 and was really surprised at how active the fandom still was on twitter and tumblr. Im really glad you decided to shoot me a message! I really appreciate it, thank you so much! I’ll be real I saw your message and kind of lost it a little today, I was very nervous about Kakashi’s section so it’s really nice to hear that someone liked it!

Kakashi

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Jealous? Kakashi? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes? No! Maybe. 💕

Kakashi DOES NOT know how to function 80% of the time. It takes him a while to sort out his personal feelings - he thinks he knows what he feels, but when it comes to emotions, like jealousy, that demand a bit more naunce? It feels like fog is clouding over the word he’d otherwise be able to plainly zero in on.

Kakashi’s jealousy is quiet and something he fiercely keeps under wraps. I think there’s nothing that matters more to him in a relationship than his partner’s freedom and sense of self esteem, and I think he views jealousy as a kind of ownership/overstep he should be ashamed of rather than a human emotion that is neither inherently good nor bad by itself.

Kakshi gets jealous rarely, but when he does, it’s hard to swallow the feeling of shame that accompanies it.

Kakashi is a prodigy, okay, he’s an amazing ninja and cook and house keeper amongst many other things, but he’s still really, really bad at the nuances of being human. Especially a human who isn’t ruled by his PTSD. His S/O spends too much time at work during his rare off day, and the rare pang of jealousy - that he does not act on in any way - makes him so uncomfortable that he has to busy himself with something until they get home. And then he almost seems stand offish. It’s his way of giving them space, but his S/O couldn’t understand the reasoning behind it unless they spend years with him or have several conversations about it.

Basically, he’s spent so much of his life truly alone, socializing largely in a work environment context, that he has no idea how to operate in a domestic relationship.

On the flip side, Kakashi is so hellbent on hammering down the little every day pangs of petty jealousy he feels that when something big happens, like a stranger flirting with his S/O? He sticks his nose into the situation immediately.

If it wasn’t sad it’d almost be hilarious - Kakashi can’t tell the difference the difference between situational, and relatively minor emotional bangs that feel similar to jealousy, to outright being DEEPLY territorial of his S/O.

Does he think they’ll flirt back? Hell no. Does he immediately chase off the guy with a well timed arm slung over his S/O’s shoulders and a bit of killing intent rolling off him in waves anyways? Absolutely.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Kakashi in love doesn’t show that he’s in love often. He’s a secretive guy and honestly, if he’s in love, he’s going to try to hide it as long as possible. From everyone.

This is only partially because Kakashi is shy about love - about 60% of the reason behind keeping things private is because he wants to hit that sweet ten year anniversary date and throw that fact out casually during a group luncheon and see the chaos unfold.

He also does legitimately struggle with being open and intimate. He worries his S/O will think he’s embarrassed by them, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Kakashi in love is all about small intimacies. The brush of his fingers over his S/O’s bicep, the touch to the small of their back. Kakashi is surprisingly handsy, even in public.

Of course, he’s a ninja, and he’s a little self conscious, so he usually does this in such a way that people don’t even catch it.

He doesn’t hold hands in public, no way.

He never lets them walk on his blind side. He just likes looking at them.

I can see Kakashi liking to touch his S/O’s hair often. He’ll pat the top of their head if they’re on the shorter side, tucking a stray lock behind their ear if their hair is long enough. There’s something so intimate about it, and Kakashi likes how quiet that touch feels to him. Sometimes it feels even better than kissing his S/O.

He picks them up from work most days, and they walk home together. In fact, the biggest tell that Kakashi is in love is when he spends most of his evenings with his S/O.

He cooks for, or more typically, with, his S/O almost every night. He likes spending quality, domestic time with them. It’s his way of slowly wading back into the very concept of cohabiting with someone after years of being alone.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Kakashi misses his partner a lot. I’m going to assume the most common reason for their separation is missions.

Kakashi as a young adult seemed married to his ANBU career, with his S/O as a side chick at best.

Post team seven, he’s a little better with his schedule, but Tsunade relies on him a lot and it’s not like he can just tell her no.

And then as Hokage? Well, actually sneaking out of the office seems to be like a fun new game to him, so–

Anyways, I think Kakashi copes pretty well, if only because separation is a constant in his life.

I think he has times where he’ll space out thinking about his S/O in the wee hours of the night when he can’t sleep. Otherwise, he’s focused on the mission. He needs to make it out of his assignments alive in order to see them again after all, and Kakashi post team seven doesn’t have a death wish.

If he has an S/O during his ANBU days, his thoughts are more obsessive, fixated on the only source of warmth in his life that he’s allowed himself to have. I can imagine a few scenarios when he’s with someone in this very dark period of his life, and the entire thing could only be described as intense.

Anyways, pining is for people who can afford to get stabbed.

Ultimately, I don’t think anyone could ever tell Kakashi was missing anyone. He may seem a little quietly sad in moments, or maybe sigh for no reason, but I doubt anyone even knows he’s with anyone for years. See the above section.

Hidan

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Surprisingly, I don’t see Hidan as a jealous guy!

If he is jealous at all, it’s over something minuscule and ultimately harmless, like being apart for a large gap of time.

He doesn’t think his S/O would cheat (he’s a man devoted to god and his faith, has a blooming career AND a six pack, what more could a person want?) but it’s more so longing that turns into jealousy only when he toys with the idea of his S/O not feeling the same kind of longing. He wants his partner to mirror his feelings and doesn’t like feeling like his absence is easily glossed over. He totally gets into his own head and overthinks things.

He’s the type to gripe at his S/O. I feel like whining and slinging around insults is how Hidan communicates best and it gets even worse when he feels threatened or anxious.

He actually needs verbal reassurances a lot.

He’ll keep bitching until his S/O consoles him or speaks frankly with him.

I think Hidan’s partner is someone who could take care of themselves, so if they were ever the subject of unwanted attention, Hidan would step only to play up some white knight fantasy gone rogue. He’ll beat up (or murder) the offender and then make out with his S/O like some horny wild man.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Hidan in love is actually pretty low key. I think for Hidan, there’s flings, and then there’s the person he loves, who he’s gonna settle down with. He just assumes his life will be full of flings that are mostly for sexual gratification until he meets his S/O.

Totally does not expect to fall in love, ever, so he has no idea how to deal with it when it happens.

I think he prays a lot more when he’s in love. For spiritual clarity or forgiveness for these ‘weak’ feelings in him that presumably conflict with the teachings of Jashin, I’m not sure.

Kakuzu notices this and bitches at Hidan for wasting their time, but eventually stops when even he realizes how much conflict Hidan seems to radiate off of him in the early days of his romance.

Hidan also gets more violent, as if to compensate for being in love with his S/O. He goes on a straight up killing spree once he completely admits it to himself.

Comes to the conclusion that being in love actually makes him a better follower of Jashin, since he slaughters droves of people for the sake of your relationship.

Around his S/O, Hidan seemingly goes from incredibly tense and broody -almost guilt ridden in some odd way - when he hangs out with them, to something flipping a switch in his head and him going back to his normal, brash self. It’s weird. He kiss his S/O like he’s trying to eat them in public now. It’s kind of hot.

Hidan is such a freak that even the Akatsuki, which is a collection of freaks, don’t get that this entire slow burn horror movie scenario was over love until Hidan very loudly complains that he was interrupted mid-fuck during a summons. Someone mentions paying the sex worker extra for the interrupted time and tells him to get some ice.

Hidan scuffs and loudly announces that he’s with his PARTNER right now. Kakuzu confirms but only sounds mildly annoyed because he’a eating Hidan’s S/O’s food and watching Hidan’s S/O’s TV.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Hidan pouts. So much.

Typically if it’s just a few weeks or days, Hidan doesn’t really give any outward indication of missing his S/O. He knows he’ll see them soon. He’s a chill guy when he’s not murdering people for pleasure and religious clout. The longer that gap of time is though? He goes from ambivalent to mess FAST.

It’s like someone flipped a switch after month three of his not seeing his S/O and someone brings them up and he’s like. Wait. When’s the last time I saw them again? And then his brain fuzzes out of existence momentarily when he does the math.

For real: Hidan is one of those guys who tries to be real macho about his S/O and him being apart for so long, but once he starts to think about it it eats him up.

He goes from trying too hard to insist he doesn’t miss them, to sulking on day two. Kakuzu wants to kill Hidan at least 200% more than usual because when Hidan sulks, he’s like a little kid.

He gets this sour look that just never goes away. He hunches his shoulders. Kicks the dirt or gravel on the road when they stop to rest for the day. Kakuzu would be inclined to ask what’s wrong but he knows better to open that can of worms.

Also does he really care about this undead shithead kid’s emotional problems? Only kind of.

He’s a ninja, not a therapist, and he’s making ninja money. Does Hidan have therapist money? Hidan doesn’t even have shirt money.

The pouty phase lasts for a while. It becomes less apparent, but as it turns inwards, Hidan becomes more violent.

Ahh, good ol’ Murder-violence! He gets more aggressive (if that’s possible) and prays more. Way more.

On a more serious note, it does actually give Hidan solace to pray and affirm that if Jashin wills it, he and his S/O will see each other soon. He promises his Lord a plentiful sacrifice when that happens.

Once he sees his S/O again he pretends like he’s totally chill absolutely chill and didn’t even miss them one bit! He ruffles their hair and gives them that rough side hug that jocky, slightly redneck older cousins give.

#praisingkuroosbedhead #kakashi x oc #kakashi x reader #hidan x oc #hidan x reader #hidan imagines #kakashi imagines #naruto imagines #i hope hidan is okay ive never written for him before #it got a little silly and weirdly detailed but i had fun #Hidan is a hoot #fluff alphabet #kakashi hatake #hidan

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or0ch1maru · 3 months

Note

headcanons for playing just dance with the akatsuki members? 💃

This is honestly fucking hilarious and I’m the perfect amount of buzzed for this

I can’t stop laughing at imagining how this would actually go

Also, I haven’t played just dance in years so if I make a mistake in anything, let me know and I’ll edit it🫶🏻

•

Hidan:

•would be the type to forget to tighten the strap around his wrist, the remote going soaring when he swings his arm too hard. Bonus points if it hits another member or breaks something

•doesn’t play fair. AT ALL. Will knock into his opponent or shit talk to the point it distracts them

•I can see him being the type to play this game drunk, not buzzed, but drunk. His movements over exaggerated and sloppy. He thinks he’s doing amazing but in reality he looks like a fish out of water, flapping & flailing around

Kakuzu:

•he would rather give up all his money before playing something so ‘stupid’ and ‘childish’ and that says a lot lol

•would sit off to the side, watching as his comrades play and enjoy themselves. Just because he’s a grouch and doesn’t let loose like they do, doesn’t mean he’ll ruin their fun

•I can see him disappearing and hiding in his room to avoid Hidan’s constant begging and whining. He knows deep down Kakuzu would eventually give into him, even if it’s only to shut him up and Kakuzu doesn’t want to ‘stoop to that level’

Konan:

•omg, she’d be so good at it. Her movements smooth and languid. She doesn’t look out of place at all like Hidan does, moving as if she was a natural dancer

•ends up racking up the most points by the end of the game, beating everybody she plays against. Her focus controlled, even when up against Hidan, who tries to knock her knee out

•isn’t ashamed one bit, not even if the dance moves displayed come off corny to others, ignoring the chuckles of her mates as she copies the choreography

Pain:

•at the very beginning, he’d be shy. His movements stiff. His hands barely leaving the sides of his body as he copies what’s displayed on the screen

•would totally be flustered, cheeks red and an awkward smile plastered on his face as he feels all the eyes of his teammates on him as he dances

•it’s not until he’s like 5 drinks in, feeling a decent buzz when he finally lets go and dances like no tomorrow. Not giving a shit if he messes up

Kisame:

•the team cheerleader. Claps, cheers, and shouts as he encourages his mates to keep going.

•even though he’s skilled on the battlefield doesn’t entirely mean he’s a good dancer. With how big he is, his movements are erratic, taking up most of the space in front of the tv, and ends up knocking into his opponent a few times

•doesn’t care about points or winning as he’s simply enjoying bonding as friends and family. Knowing he’d cherish this moment forever

Itachi:

•just like Konan, his movements would be smooth, but also sharp and precise

•I also believe he’d be a little apprehensive at first, not because he feels like he’d embarrass himself or anything, but because he hasn’t been able to relax and have fun in a long time, having to grow up so early in life

•ends up having the time of his life, coming in second to Konan, and having a celebratory drink to commemorate his small victory

Tobi:

•would be an absolute clown about everything but truthfully, making everyone’s night even better

•I think he’d be shy, just like pain, but once he gets over it, would have a lot of fun. Focusing on the dance moves as much as possible even though he ends up missing a step time to time

•would take FOREVER trying to pick a song, I feel like he’d chose something by lady Gaga or Rihanna. Something fun and upbeat

Zetsu:

•honestly, I think he wouldn’t participate. Would linger and watch the others as they play. Taking post in his favorite spot in the wall or on the arm of the couch

•black and white Zetsu would be going back and forth between the two of them as white Zetsu wants to play but black Zetsu doesn’t. Ends up giving in and sitting aside the whole night

•would sneak back later once everyone has gone to bed or passed out drunk to play by himself

Sasori:

•would also think the game is ‘stupid’ but after a drink or two would be the first one with a remote in his hand, ready to dance

•once he gets in the zone, his mates all agreed he had a natural ‘talent’, not better than Konan or Itachi, but close to it. What his mates don’t know is that he comes into the living room to play time to time when nobody’s home

•when he’s not playing, he makes sure his friends have what they want or need. Snack, another beer, etc

Deidara:

•nervous baby for sure. At the beginning that is.

•When he wins his first match, beating Kisame in a landslide, that win, gets to his head. Ends up cocky and taunting everybody, only to lose his next match to Hidan.

•definitely flamboyant and extravagant with his moves. Almost hit Hidan in the face before his loss. Curses when he drops the remote. Completely forgot to even slide the strap on his wrist, which gave Hidan the chance to succeed

Orochimaru:

•at first, they’d simply enjoy watching and observing their team as they play and have fun. For some reason I can see them writing things down for their research. Something about how bonding is essential for security and happiness in a friend group

•orochimaru would be enjoying the drinks more than the game, drink after drink to help unwind, realizing how much they truly enjoy being around others compared to being stuck in the lab all day

•would play a round or two towards the end of the night for the hell of it. Using the excuse of ‘it’s for my research’ instead of coming clean about their real reason. They wanted to experience the fun but they’d never admit that

I had lady Gaga’s, heavy metal lover on repeat while writing this. I love her and I feel like a handful of the akatsuki would too🫶🏻

#akatsuki #akatsuki members #orochimaru #orochimaru stories #konan headcanons #zetsu x reader #kakuzu headcanons #orochimaru story #sasori akatsuki #hidan headcanon #itachi headcanons #kisame fluff #deidara headcanon #obito headcanons #tobi headcanon #zetsu #Zetsu headcanon #pain akatsuki

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jinxofthecipher · 3 years

Text

Akatsuki Scene (featuring KisaIta, TobiDei, & slight KakuHida):

“And that concludes this meeting,” Their leader called out, his purple ringed eyes looking around the room. Itachi remained quiet, his sharingan thrums behind his eyes as the rinnegan meets his then moves on. “We will convene a month from now unless something comes up. You’re free to go.” With that final word, their leader’s image fizzled out, leaving the other’s flickering in the dark of the cave.

“Oooo so we’re going after the three tails, Deidara senpai??” Tobi, buzzing with energy (him and Deidara being the only members that were close enough to come in-person) jumped his partner with a pleased giggle.

“Yes, now get off me.” The artist frowned, pushing Tobi away to open the scroll they’d received. He doesn’t say a word when the masked man instead leans against him, assumingly reading what’s written, but Itachi’s eyes narrow, not missing the obscurred hand-holding, even in the dark. He turns away, however, respecting their privacy, and looks to Kisame instead.

The shark gives him a broad grin in turn, multi-colored form flickering in and out, “you ready to go, Itachi?”

"I th-”

“It’s not too far, senpai!!” Tobi giggles, voice hushed but still loud in the dark cavern.

“Yeah. It shouldn’t take too long, maybe a few days, I think. Though we shouldn’t put too much hope in these last corridinates, they were from three months ago.”

“It’s gonna be so much fun! Can we get snacks? Canwecanwecanwe???”

“Maybe!” Deidara exclaims, pinching his eyes shut and running a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath, “Maybe. But only if you tone it down a bit, yeah?” He straightened his cloak.

Tobi gives a quick nod, “sure thing, Deidara senpai. Tobi will be silent, like the grave!” And just like that, the masked man fell eerily quiet. The lack of voice sent every hair on the back of Itachi’s neck standing straight up and his gaze flicked to the other obscurred Uchiha. Tobi was watching his partner roll up the scroll and pack it away, a happy shadow. It reminded Itachi too much of that fateful night all those years ago, when he’d asked Madara for help and the shadows had been long and the silence deafening.

As if sensing him, Tobi looked over and, even though he couldn’t see the other’s eye through the hole in the mask, Itachi knew Tobi was looking at him.

Neither said a word, just stared.

Finally, “hiya Itachi,” the masked man gave a little wave, ignoring his partner’s rolling eyes at the sudden lack of silence, though Tobi’s voice wasn’t as high or shrill as it had been, “things goin’ well with you and Kisame?” It was a simple question, one no other member would have blinked at. It was just Tobi asking a random question. Yet Itachi’s blood ran cold. He stiffened, fighting a frown, fighting the sharingan behind his eyes and his fingers twitched ever so slightly. Beside him, he could feel Kisame sudden unease even if the other made no outward expression.

“We’re doing fine, Tobi.” Came the response, cold. “You and Deidara?”

“Better, though he’s still an idiot.” Deidara answers in Tobi’s place, having begun moving towards the caves entrance. Tobi physically deflates, looking over his shoulder at his partner.

“Senpai!! You said Tobi’s been doing so much better! Especially with-”

Deidara almost trips at whatever implications he can hear and sends a venemous glare back before Tobi can finish, “Not right now, you’re not!!”

The masked man sighs, looking back at Itachi and giving a shrug, “good days and bad days, but,” he lowers his voice, “our teamwork’s made some leaps and bounds!” Itachi’s eyes narrow a fraction just as Tobi cocks his head, “at least you two seem to be doing okey-dokey!” There’s a giggle and a hand covers the bottom of Tobi’s mask as if to hinder the noise before he gives a big wave and skips after the retreating, grumbling blonde. “See you all later!!”

Watching the proceedings from their corner, Hidan leans into Kakuzu’s space, muttering something to him with a smirk and Itachi shuts his eyes, forcing a deep calming breath.

“Come, Kisame. We’re leaving.” He re-opens them, ignoring just how close Hidan is to his partner and Kakuzu isn’t pushing him away like he once would have-and looks to Kisame instead who gives a sharp nod, discomfort radiating from his being.

Silent, they weave the signs and end the jutsu. Their multi-colored bodies flicker then disappear, leaving Kakuzu and Hidan as the last members to remain though, after a second, they too vanish.

The cavern disappears around them and woodland sounds replace it; hazy eyes open to find them back on the bank they’d sat near. A tranquil stream passing before them, lapping gently at the sides.

Itachi blinks a few times, always a bit off whenever coming back to his physical form. He gives a small shudder, moving each body part, finding them stiff from having remained in one spot for too long. Still, he doesn’t get up.

Not far, seated on his own rock, Kisame is rolling his neck, cracking it to one side, then the next, grunting at the sharp pain in his joints. “Wish they’d give us more warning if the meeting’s going to be so long.” Massaging a forearm, Kisame stands and falters, just noticing how quiet his partner is.

Yellow eyes slip to him easily, finding Itachi where he had been before the jutsu, back slightly hunched, eyes focused on the slow-moving water. The sun is just starting to set and it brings a reddish tint to the Uchiha’s black hair. It would be pretty if not for the rest of the visual. Itachi’s stare is hard and, to anyone else, blank and unemotional, but not to Kisame, he can see the strain echoing in every muscle beneath the cloak, the narrowed eyes, the somewhat clenched fingers.

Kisame’s face falls slightly, he brushes a hand through his short hair and takes another step, stopping beside the Uchiha, “it’s cause of what Tobi said, isn’t it, Itachi?”

Black eyes flick up to him, only for a moment then slip back to the water. Sighing, Kisame sits down. Their knees brush, once, twice, then remain together as he crosses his legs, getting comfortable. There are words on his tongue, words and sentences, maybe even a joke, but Kisame remains quiet. He waits, patient as always, and looks out at the water.

Finally the other speaks, “I am beginning to suspect the other’s know, or at least are suspicious of our relationship.”

Kisame only nods, unsurprised. He knew the moment they had entered the meeting, Hidan had had the gall to wink at him. Which if that hadn’t been a smack in the face then Tobi’s question sure had been. The masked man hardly ever asked specifics towards anyone, not since the on time Kisame and him had talked, face to face. No Tobi facade. Just them. So to have his sudden, undevoted attention back once more, had been unnerving to say the least. It could only mean one thing: Tobi had noticed. Which, as much as he trusted him, probably wasn’t a good thing.

“I thought we were being pretty inconspicious,” he shakes his head, “we’ve not done anything different when they’re around. We’re careful.” The words sound so sure in his mouth and to his ears and yet . . . he considers the few times they’ve met up with the other’s. So far there were two meet-ups with Kakuzu and Hidan, one accidental with Deidara and Tobi and, well, that was it. Sure, he had leaned his leg up against Itachi’s that one time but the place had had poor lighting and Tobi and Deidara had been too interested in each other then them! And it had been out of sight anyways, no one could’ve seen it but . . . if they had sharingan . . . his eyes shut and Kisame squeezed the bridge of his nose. “You don’t think it was that one time with Tobi and-”

“Yes, but I think it was with all of them.” Itachi says, thoughtful, “they each guessed we were . . .” he stalls for a moment, “closer than simple subordinates, though I am unsure what in particular we did to have them guess such a thing.�� He worries his bottom lip lightly and Kisame pats the other’s knee in what he can hope is comfort. It must be taken as such since Itachi catches it with his own and they leave them laced togehter atop their knees. “You’re right, we acted as we always have when around them, but perhaps we weren’t as thorough as we first assumed.”

Kisame hums, a mix of agitation and concern. Tobi hadn’t come after them, hadn’t hinted at things being a problem if two of his men were closer then work partners. So perhaps it was alright? “We might be ok, since Tobi hasn’t done anything . . . but how do you want to play this, Itachi?” He cocked his head, leaving it up to the other as usual, the Uchiha was better at strategy, at taking the lead, and this was no different.

Thinking, Itachi squeezed the other’s hand, discerning possiblities in his mind, one that came up being that Tobi would hold the information, use it in some way. Itachi couldn’t put it past him, but Itachi hadn’t planned on leaving or doing anything to throw the organziation off so it shouldn’t ever come up, right? He sighed, closing his eyes.

“For now we’ll play it by ear but . . . I don’t find anything wrong with continuing our areangement.”

Kisame snorts, shaking his head, “you make it sound so professional.”

“Would you wish for me to call it something else?” Black and yellow eyes met.

“You could try with ‘relationship’ unless that’s too much?” Itachi blinked at his partners words and Kisame swallowed. Perhaps that was moving things a bit too fast? He wasn’t too sure. Though, when Itachi’s face softened into a smile that might’ve had Kisame’s stomach pleasantly twist, he found his worries gone.

“I’d like that.” And Itachi’s hand squeezed his, receving one in return as they both leaned against each other, into a sense of comfort born between them.

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akatsuki-headcanons · 4 years

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Oh cool a new Naruto blog! May I request #3 from the smut prompts with Hidan, please?

Sorry this one is really long and that it ends the way it does LOL. I’m still getting used to writing smut, but I had fun with this one!! I hope y’all enjoy <3

Prompt 3 // Hidan

Prompt 3: “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.”

You never really took Hidan as the comforting type, you always thought he was this cold, heartless guy. You didn't know what you were doing at his front door, you just needed someone to talk to, someone to listen to you ramble, even if it was only for a moment. You raised a finger to ring the doorbell, and you could hear it echo throughout his home.

Nothing, as expected. What were you even doing here.

Just as you were about to turn and leave, the door swung open. "What are you doing here? Didn't you have plans with someone? Or did they not show up like usual?" He knew it as well as you did, you were dating a jackass. Hidan invited you inside his dimly lit apartment. He never really has lights on in there, not in a weird way, he just prefers being in a darker setting. The room was lit up by whatever awful 1990's horror movie was playing on cable. "Is Kakuzu not here?" You asked Hidan, who was coming back with a glass of water and some snacks for you. Kakuzu and Hidan shared the apartment together, which came to no surprise at all. really. "No, he's out for the night, not too sure what he's doing, and I don't really care. Why are you here? We still haven't talked about that. You never come over, especially this late at night." You had forgotten to even look at the time, it was almost 1 A.M. Shit. Now you really wanted to leave, you didn't want to feel like even more of a burden.

"He didn't um, he didn't show up. Again." You were on the verge of tears, you didn't want to talk about it but at the same time you had to. It was eating you whole at this point. This was at least the fifth time your boyfriend stood you up, and you were over it. You shouldn't have given him that many chances anyways, but he would always make some story about why he couldn't show up and why he couldn't tell you in time.

"He's a piece of shit. I don't understand why you were with him for this long anyways," Hidan muttered, while focusing on the movie playing. You took a sip of the water he gave you a bit ago, and leaned on him sighing when you emptied your mouth. You and your what was now ex were together for five years. Everything was going perfect, until recently. He told you that there was nothing to worry about, but he was getting extremely distant, which should have been a sign that something was up. Maybe you both lost your 'spark' or maybe he was cheating, but at this point, it didn't matter anymore. You were done with him, as much as it hurt.

Hidan, feeling you lean on him, pulled you in closer and hugged you. This was very out of character for him, but maybe he just cared. You didn't want to question it, you welcomed it. You needed this, this comfort. Pulling away from each other, you started to slightly feel better. Just as you were starting to cheer up ever so slightly, your phone started to vibrate, letting you know that someone was texting you. You and Hidan knew exactly who it was.

Should you have checked the messages? No. Did you? Absolutely.

It was almost funny seeing how many times he tried to text you. There were at least 15 messages, all of him trying to say sorry and how he knows that he's an awful boyfriend. You didn't care anymore, he didn't care about you so why should you care about him. Hidan focused on you while you were reading the messages on your phone. "Stop paying attention to him. I promise I can make you feel better than he ever could," Hidan teased. "What do you even mean?" You question, sort of catching onto what he was hinting towards. Just like that, the two of you were making out. This man was like, an expert at it, he was amazing.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole," Hidan said, pulling away from the kiss. In a heartbeat, his hands were pulling your shirt over your head, and he was talking off your pants. "You were wearing that for him? Damn, he doesn't know what he's missing out on then," Hidan growled, taking note of your all-black lingerie. You had just bought this set too, it complimented your figure perfectly and it was soft, which is a win-win. "Get on your knees. Now." Hidan demanded. You obeyed, getting on your knees and taking off his pants and boxers. His member was already rock hard, it was bigger than you thought. He had 6.5 inches, and he was girthy. Taking his length in your mouth, he grabbed you by your hair and began to facefuck you. "You look so pretty like this. If only that idiot could see you like this," he grunted, getting even rougher on you. "I always imagined what you would look like on my cock." After a few minutes of facefucking you, he pulled you off of his member, leaving a trail of saliva from your bottom lip to his tip.

You were now laying on the couch, getting railed by Hidan. Every thrust he made into your cunt made you feel more and more grateful that you came here. "You look so cute under me, hell, and you're so fucking tight. Your ex really doesn't know what he's lost, huh baby," he teased you. Looking down on you as he rammed his length into you, he started to breath heavier than before. "I'm about to fill that pussy up and mark you as mine, baby." He started thrusting harder into you, which made you go over the edge, cumming all over his cock, at the same time he came inside of you. After a few more slow thrusts, he pulled out. "Fuck, I've never had a fuck doll as pretty as you. We need to do this more often," he laughed, helping you clean up the mess you both made.

and thats the story of how you and hidan got together :D

#hidan #hidan naruto #hidan x reader #smut

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lotus-baby · 3 years

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Do u have any fun facts or headcanons about ur akatsuki crime au?

(i had this post open 4 editing then i went to check smth else and it reloaded i had to rewrite everything T-T)

akatsuki crime au exists as a series of imaginary amvs but here r the non-amv funfacts (they’re pretty much regular akatsuki hcs too bcz the au is v similar to canon):

- deidara likes to go out to a restaurant to celebrate after a successful mission, and tobi tags along. they both like spicy food but obito has to pretend he can’t stand it for the tobi disguise rip king 💀

- hidan needs glasses but he refuses to get them because if jashin made him nearsighted then blurry would his vision be

- pein has to use eyedrops often because his body isn’t alive anymore and he gets really nervous before major appearances because what if he gets itchy eyes mid monologue and he has to pull out his little bottle of eyedrops this is so embarassing his public image is ruined

- wanted to do big brother kisame teaching itachi how to clean and cook fish because when u cook with friends u truly do feel family in this chilis tonight

- sasori is good with string instruments because haha puppets

- kakuzu always has old love songs playing in his car he swears they are not his but he’s nodding to the beat. 👀 what’s the truth

- white zetsu makes surrealist paintings, they’re inspired by the tsukuyomi dreams he experienced in his past lives

- kakuzu, sasori, black zetsu, and konan play mahjong 2gether when they have downtime. (it’s mahjong because all of them kept cheating w/ cards , konan was making fake cards, sasori and kakuzu were using threads to peek at cards when ppl weren’t looking, black zetsu kept attaching to ppl to read their minds. those 4 are usually the held together ones but they just go fucknuts when they’re put together w/ no responsibilities. like when the adults are getting rowdy at their table at family reunions as a kid. when i tell you they tried uno first and things got WILD)

bonus:

- really really wanted to give konan a fire sword because angel but i did not know how to fit that in because it’s more modern than original naruto and they won’t use swords as much. she still has a fire sword because my au i’m god but i don’t know what to do with konans fire sword.

#akatsuki #au #headcanons #archenemie #crime drama au

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phantasmalcalamity-a · 3 years

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Seven minutes (For Hidan if it makes sense lmao if not, that's fine and ignore the ask) (bloomingtalent)

Hidan got 25) Jerk them off/Fondle their breasts AGAIN cause this would be my luck that I keep getting the dirty option

Hidan had successfully broken Hinata about a year ago now. He'd convinced her that if she sacrificed someone to Jashin Sama, that he'd protect Naruto, but unsurprisingly, he'd lied. After killing the pink haired friend of hers in cold blood, the kunoichi had been forced to watch Pein drain the nine tails from Naruto, which of course, ultimately killed the boy.

There was nothing left of the strong girl she'd used to be, but due to her sacrifice to Jashin, she'd managed to gain immortality, just like he had, so he kept her around as a sort of pet. Her ability was useful at least. The girl had no hope left anyway, and just mindlessly followed Akatsuki now.

Only the eight tails remained to be captured, and the Akatsuki were having an early celebration, drinking and playing some strange game. It was called Seven Minutes in Heaven, but it wasn't very fun considering this party was a total sausage fest, minus Konan and Hinata.

The bottle landed on Hidan once more, and he braced himself, figuring he'd just end up arguing in the closet with whoever he ended up with, not unlike what he'd done when he'd had the poor luck to get stuck in there with Kakuzu a few rounds earlier. However, his luck seemed to pick up when the bottle landed on Hinata as his partner this time.

The Jashinist grinned sadistically, and gestured her to follow him to the closet. "Come along my pet..." Once they were alone in the closet, his grin widened. "This does bring back memories... Just us two. But it's not like I can break you anymore than you already are." He practically purred, and placed his hand under her chin, leveling her gaze with his lilac hues.

"How about I finally play this game how it's intended, hm?" He whispered into her ear, and then licked the side of her neck slowly. As he drug his tongue along her skin, one hand reached out lazily and went up her shirt, cupping her breast.

Hidan quickly got a feel of her well endowed bosom, and fondled her roughly, pinching her soft nub between his fingers. He certainly wasn't a gentle person, and he chuckled softly. "Does this make you happy, you naughty girl?"

His other hand found her other breast, and gave it the same rough treatment. More... He wanted more. He was about to lift her shirt up when...

Kakuzu called out their time was up. Hidan rolled his eyes in annoyance, and stormed out of the closet. The time seemed much too short. "Fuck you Kakuzu. Jashin Sama demands more time!" Kakuzu only sighed, and he shook his head.

#bloomingtalent #☾✩☽ When Pain Becomes Pleasure------------- IC Hidan #☾✩☽ asks #☾✩☽ memes #// This is sooo hecking late #But I hope you like it

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ladykissingfish · 2 years

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I have a request (kind of). Can you write something, like where everyone in the Akatsuki finds out that Sasori and Deidara are dating, and what they think about it or what their reactions are? If you want to … thanks!

Sure.

Okay, reactions:

Konan

Is happy for the both of them. She secretly plays matchmaker for everyone in the Akatsuki, and these two have always been one of her favorite pairings. She wishes them well with a paper bouquet of flowers and hugs for them both.

Pein

He doesn’t think much of them being together one way or another. The only thing he cares about is whether the missions he assigns them get completely correctly and on time. Beyond that, what each member does in their spare time is their own business, as far as he’s concerned. He’s not the type to give “congratulations” on anything but he might give them a subtle affirming nod.

Kakuzu

Kakuzu is like Pein in that he really doesn’t care what Sasori and Deidara do on their own time … as long as it’s not costing the Akatsuki (or him personally) any money. If they started asking him for money to buy gifts for one another, THEN their relationship would become a problem. But he knows that Sasori at least is of a temperament similar to his own, and is a sensible, reasonable man who doesn’t let things get out of hand; so he’s not very concerned about the situation.

Hidan

As might be expected, Hidan handles hearing that Sasori and Deidara are together with anything but grace. He’ll have a thousand perverted, sexual jokes he’ll drop at the expense of one or both of them, and always in front of an audience, until someone (likely Kakuzu) silences him. He makes fun but in reality, secretly … he’s a tiny bit jealous. He’s not an idiot and he knew that Deidara had been pining for Sasori for quite some time. And now that he’s suceeded in making a relationship a reality … Hidan is envious of that. If he ever matures and sucks it up he could ask Deidara for advice on what he did to land his dream-man … but that day likely won’t come for a long time ((if ever)).

Zetsu

Is always curious about human emotions and attachments, and will very likely pepper Deidara with many questions about his and Sasori’s being together. His inquiries will eventually slip into a very personal and somewhat offensive nature, but he doesn’t mean any harm (the way Hidan would); he’s just genuinely curious about how things work with them physically. Especially seeing as how Sasori is not quite a human, and Zetsu finds human and non-human relationships to be fascinating.

Obito

As Tobi, he’s happy and goofy and offers them repeated hugs and congratulations and brings up to Leader more than once the idea of getting a big cake to “celebrate”. As Obito, like Pein, his mind is only on the bottom line of the Akatsuki’s future. He’ll observe their relationship closely, and if it starts to seem like one is starting to get too distracted, he won’t hesitate to covertly “take out” the other one, in order to put a stop to it.

Kisame

Is very jovial about the two being together, because it offers him a slight glimmer of hope. He’s had his eye on his partner Itachi for years, but never approached him with his feelings because he didn’t believe a romantic relationship would work within the Akatsuki. So he’ll watch them closely, taking notes of whether they seem happy or not. If they do, and Kisame sees for himself that a relationship is possible to maintain within the group, then it’ll give him the courage he’s always needed to have that long-postponed talk with the quiet brunette he works with.

Itachi

Is good friends with Sasori, and has had many talks with him over the years on love and loneliness. He’ll be so happy for the redhead on having finally found someone to fill his emptiness, and he’ll offer him his sincerest well-wishes. Deidara, well, Itachi knows that Deidara doesn’t like him, and while this saddens Itachi, he understands it and always maintains a respectful distance from the blonde. So although he will be happy for him as well, he likely won’t verbalize it, the way he does with Sasori.

#sasodei #sasori x deidara #kisaita kinda #sasori #deidara #❤️💛#the akatsuki

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little-ki · 4 years

Text

Day 4: Deidara (Why You)

50 Day Challenge (AO3) - Day 4

Prompt: Write a scene that starts with the line, “Darling, stop.”

“Darling, stop.”

Deidara paused mid-throw when Hikari came over to Itachi. He felt the fight go out of him knowing she was in his blast range. The two of them talked for a while and left together, she waved goodbye and he waved back before realizing what he was doing and dropped his arm. What was he doing?

He remembered when he was the one standing by her side. Thinking about the days where the two of them went off on their own to their spot. It was a cliff overlooking a rocky terrain and Deidara loved throwing explosions down as they watched from above. Sometimes the two of them would take to the skies on his clay birds and he’d have his explosions go off mid-air. He loved being able to hold her and watch the wonder in her eyes illuminated by the light from the explosion. She was the only one who understood.

Sometimes he went back to that cliff, but nothing was the same. His clay wasn’t different. His explosions weren’t different. But he didn’t feel that exhilaration he felt before, so something was different.

Baby I miss you, why do I keep thinking about you I can’t meet someone else, I don’t want to Whether I love you or hate you I can’t determine, everyday I’m still confused

Sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder, why?

After missions he would pop into a town, find a bar, and not long after there would be a woman on his arm, trying to tug him upstairs. He always pushed them off. Some of them would cling and play coy, batting their eyelashes to try to change his mind. All it took was a little pop in his hand and they would back away in fear.

He just wanted to drink. Alone. That’s what he wanted. To be able to be alone. To be free. He chose this. He wanted this.

You keep showing up in front of me with your arms locked to his This isn’t right, are you kidding me? Uh why are you happy while I’m unfortunate

The two of them were gross. He couldn’t walk anywhere in the base without seeing them. Wherever Hikari was, Itachi was never far behind. It got to the point where anyone looking for Itachi would just find her to get to him. The clay in his hand sparked in a small explosion.

It made him think of the time he first found out they were together. He had come back from a solo mission that lasted half a year; one he took to get away so he wouldn’t have to see her.

The two of them were sitting in the outdoor space and she was sitting in Itachi’s lap, wrapped in his Akatsuki cloak. She wasn’t wearing her usual mask, but her face was covered by Itachi’s and all anyone could see were her parted pink lips. He had been shocked to say the least. His feet were frozen, and all he could hear was his heart pounding while his mind was screaming, when!

His skin prickled when Itachi’s killing intent spiked, looking up to see the Mangekyo swirling in a silent threat. He swallowed deeply and dashed back inside towards his room and locked his door. He covered his face with his hands as he tried to calm down.

Later he would be angry that he ran away from the Uchiha. But later, he would realize that the sound he heard wasn’t just the anxiety of seeing the Mangekyo, there was also the cracking of his heart.

Baby I just want you back I want you back I want you back Baby I know it’s too late it Just too late it’s just too late

Later he would see them again. They would be eating together with some of the other members and from their expressions, he would know that this wasn’t something new.

From the look in her eyes (that used to look at him that way), the way she leaned on him (like she used to trust him), the names she called him (she never gave him a pet name), the jokes from the other members (why didn’t they ever do that with them).

Each day passed by in a daze and each encounter numbed him to the pulsing sensation in his chest.

I pray for fight, pray for a break-up Every neighborhoods every streets I visit and tell people that you two aren’t doing well

Each day was a shock to him. He hadn’t thought Uchiha would stick around. In fact, he had expected for it to blow up (preferably in Uchiha’s face). He’d even made a bet with Kakuzu about how long the two would last and lost right away when he found out they’d been going strong for two months.

Two months became four, and four months became eight. Eventually he’d had to stop making bets with Kakuzu and take on more missions.

It wasn’t Hikari. He just figured that Uchiha was messing around. Ignoring the fact that the Uchiha seemed to be one following her around… And constantly holding her… And looking at her as if she was what he had been looking for his entire life…

So lame and loser-ish, I’ve always been a loser I will treat you better, will you meet me? I won’t bother you, will you please come back to me?

Here he was. In front of her door. While Itachi was away with Kisame for a mission. About to knock like the loser he was.

The door opened.

Will you please choose me again?

Authors note:

DAY 4 DONE! Originally I had a completely different idea when I started. I wanted to write a silly and fluffy drabble about Deidara catching Sasori in a weird situation with the puppet he made of Hikari. It was suppose to be cute and fun, until I started looking for song inspo. As soon as I heard “Who You” I went 360 and tormented Deidara.

This is a rough piece and there are many places where I could probably refine better, but I liked the emotion and how this piece ended up. Hopefully you enjoyed it as well! :)

#angst #i'm bad at angst but I tried #I really like doing song fics #maybe I can get into that after this challenge #deidara #naruto #naruto fics #naruto drabbles #deidara drabble #50 day challenge

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