There's so new little stuff in the tag for Shin but I am very tired.

am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.

you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?

okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.

but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.

i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.

and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?

i was thinking about this line from my fic:

But the fall had hurt, too. Because the wind had cut into his useless wings like knives, his skin and grace peeling away under the friction, and he had been looking right up at the multicoloured and unreachable expanse of sky just to see it fade from his eyes into dull greys.

and i came up with this. i hope the vision came through

This was easily one of the best Lupin episodes

I think when people are summarizing Raph's character (as a whole, and not necessarily specific iterations) they have the tendency to describe him as a loner which I find interesting because. I don't think it's really that accurate?

When people describe a character as a "loner" it makes me think that said character is choosing to be alone, and PREFERS to be apart from the group. Which very much isn't the case with Raph. Most of the time, him being alone is a result of him getting frustrated and needing to blow off some steam. Either as a genuine coping mechanism, or because he fears he might hurt them while he's in an emotional state.

He LIKES being around people and being with his brothers. It's clear that other people are very, very important to Raph, and his relationships with his friends and family are a big part of who he is. He just is so often misunderstood by those around him that he, unwillingly, does become a "loner".

I don't think it's accurate to say Raph is THE loner of the group, when the majority of time he spends alone is a result of him being in distress.

[Image ID: a meme, featuring one person with their arm slung over another person's shoulder as they loudly and insistently explain something to them. End ID.]

I'm sorry for the OC brain rot on main....

(the lines are from a post about "tag yourself: awkward/unflirty Sims edition" and honestly? all my OCs are awkward/unflirty so ... yeah...)

saw a post about how jiang cheng isn't selfish because he's done all of this stuff for his loved ones and it's like yeah. jiang cheng loves very deeply and that's. exactly why he's selfish. jiang cheng being selfish doesn't equal jiang cheng being heartless or unloving. his goals are to selfishly keep his loved ones, most notably wei wuxian, to himself at the expense of their own personal autonomy. when jiang cheng goes to the burial mounds and begs wei wuxian to give the wen remnants up and come home, he does it because he loves him, but he also does it because he's a selfish coward who puts his own wants for wei wuxians safety and companionship above wei wuxians personal wishes and the lives of the wens. these things are not mutually exclusive in fact they are intricately connected

Thinking about that fine line Jonathan walks re: Lonnie's impact on Will. Wanting to insulate Will from Lonnie's rejection and soften that blow as much as he's able, but not wanting to give him false hope and feed a dangerous fantasy where Lonnie has a place in his life.

Because who wants to look into those big, sad eyes and tell their little brother that Dad doesn't love him? That he will never care, and that Will is nothing to him. But he also wants Will to be prepared, and he doesn't want to lie to him. He respects this kid and he wants to impress that upon him--the world may not, but Jonathan will always respect his intelligence and ability to think for himself, and he will nurture that, would never hamper it even supposedly for Will's own good.

So he makes it about conformity. There's a life lesson in that. It's not just that Dad doesn't give a shit--it's that Will should be true to himself because fuck everyone who doesn't see it that way.

whats ur beef?

My favourite manga lost the plot so now i cope by being a hater 👍

One Piece #758 (vol. 76)

Hang on, I need a second... Usopp, who usually takes credit even for things he didn't do, who respects Luffy's good opinion so much that he credited his faith in his crew as the reason they kept fighting, that he agreed to work with a random, dangerous Warlord in a plan to take out an Emperor of the Sea just because Luffy complimented him, saying it doesn't matter if he never finds out that Usopp saved his life, as long as he's safe and can keep going...

Not that it's unprecedented for Usopp to do something like this - in fact, it's one of the first things we see him do. He also kept Kuro's invasion of his home village a secret. And maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I don't think it's completely irrelevant that Syrup Village's existence such as it was (a peaceful and carefree place that, if anything, could use someone like Usopp causing mischief to liven it up every once in a while) depended on the secrecy. Here he just thought, "I saved you, that's enough".

(Not to mention the comparison - this would be putting Luffy on the same level as his home village, the place he grew up in.)

some men are textbook villains fr

a few people are bringing up depression in response to my shen yuan post, and while do what you want yes, I feel this does go back to how people don't know how to write disabled characters as another person brought into light. including mental disabilities.

mayb now I'm projectin on this one, but seein the absolute cluster fuck of shen yuan, it feels strange to go "it's depression!". I see narcissistic personality disorder, other cluster b traits, I see autism, mayb even ocd. he's a paranoid, hot head mess whose constantly calculating every moment. but people don't really know how to contextualize mental illness, especially not the "scary" ones, even if they have mental illness themselves. just slap on depression and anxiety as a bandaid and don't talk about the rest! it's not that people don't want to go further (or at least I have some faith), I just think our current society has not prepared people to step out of the "nice" mental disorders.

so I don't fault anyone who reduces his nonsense into the socially acceptable depression, but I can't act like that it doesn't make me uncomfortable. but also not uncomfortable enough to directly respond to strangers on the interwebs HSKDHDH.

but I also did want to talk about the depression to slob pipeline as well because that's I suppose the part that gets me. he's unwell, so he's a slob and a disgustin mess. a statement that could be made about someone who has depression, but I have a hard time applying the "he" to shen yuan in this case. I'm personally under the "I care so much about my image that I feel like I'm gonna rot from the inside out" type, and my response has been to hyper clean. clean and clean until I can't clean anymore and so I'm stressed that I can't make my space (and by extension myself) better in a small matter of time. I was once a slob in the past as a teen, but I'm immensely embarassed by it. I'm vain, so I take photos of myself with my backdrop being my room, and I will loose my marbles if someone looks down on me because I threw my pjamas onto my bed while gettin changed. no one but me and my family enter my room. no one else even enters the house.

*picks up shen yuan by the scruff of the neck* yer telling me this rich pretty boy obsessed with tryin to get people to take him seriously wouldn't have an instagram or whatever the equivalent would be?? honestly I feel like it would be expected of him, and he might also flaunt his wealth (that he didn't earn) to try to feel better. if you couldn't tell I'm tryin to shove a superiority/inferiority complex onto him over his status. that's just cause I think it'd be funny I don't have any text evidence off the top of my head for that lmao.

ultimately with all this, I just want something different. I want people to step back and look at shen yuan for who he is and then extrapolate out from that and into how they want to play with his character. I don't know how, with all these complex thought processes and characterizations of binghe, we have landed with a very 2d, copy paste version of shen yuan every time. maybe I just need to dig more into shen yuan fan creations, but I have yet found one to step out of the invented fanon version mold or their small variations. and its quite strange to me given how divorced fanon shen yuan is from canon shen yuan. I suppose I'm not used to a fandom with a character so warped away from canon well accepted. dare I say, ooc.

jughead almost immediately removing himself from the musical aka the narrative the moment that someone else (kevin & clay) starts writing their own version of it and in turn, his removal from controlling the narrative ends up allowing the characters to take back control of their own narrative because when jughead writes and rewrites the story, it ends up trapping the characters deeper inside the narrative and the cycles they are desperate to escape until they are repeating the same behaviours over and over again but when kevin & clay write and rewrite the story, it ends up giving the characters back their agency because they're trying to help them which then allows them to break free from the narrative and walk away.

I'm sorry but I don't understand the "Branch was the most muscular troll ever"

There is no way that thing wasn't malnourished as a child.

He was left alone at a really young age, logically speaking he would have taken a while to learn what he can and can't eat, and what he should and shouldn't eat. That process could have taken a long time, especially if he avoided the village, and would have left him without essential nutrients for a bit growing up, that would be hard to make up

The 1x00 AHiB -> 4x06 glowup

I hugged the two children while looking around at my companions. [...] Shin Yoosung asked me, "Grandmother? Is Grandmother Sookyung okay?" "I think she should be fine. It is entering the final stages." Relief passed through the party member's faces at my words. Only one face was different. "Hey, why is Dokja hyung's mother your grandmother?" "Ahjussi's mother is my grandmother." "Dokja hyung isn't your father." I quickly patted them on the back. "Now now, don't fight. You can both call her grandmother." "Really? Can I?" "Yes." I watched the red-faced Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung and tried to say something else, but quickly closed my mouth. To these children, what had happened in the past three years? What did these children hear, see and talk about as they passed through dozens of scenarios without me? "…Hyung?" I stroked Lee Gilyoung's head for a long time and Lee Gilyoung looked up at me helplessly. Shin Yoosung, who was staring at the scene, grabbed my hand and placed it on her head. (Chapter 343)

they love you they love you they love you