#I come up with stellar ideas and concepts
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Kanekichi headcanon #2 he loves Bingus so much
he loves Bingus so much he went out and copied his sense of style and that’s where his emo phase began
#I come up with stellar ideas and concepts#greater than the average mind could even comprehend#kaneki ken#tokyo ghoul#kaneks even LOOKS like#exactly like Bingus#he do be bingusing nonstop fr fr#when I get back from this family reunion I will probably draw him as this bingus
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Ch 2: Whither is thy beloved turned aside?
Astarion has ascended, and she has stayed with him. Life in the Crimson Palace isn’t as idyllic as it seems. Is there a chance for their relationship to go back to how it was? Or is it too late for the Ascendant and his consort?
This series is about Ban, my Tav, and the Vampire Ascendant. Will be angst and smut, with sprinkles of fluff.
This fic is a softer take on Ascendant!Astarion and of the changes he undergoes after the rite. Can Ban handle the change, and if a chance came, would she choose to run? And can the Ascendant win her back in time? Inspired by the concept of vampire wives and that IGN interview with Larian that discussed the ascension.
Professionally edited by @editing-by-night
The invitation to the Withers’ party arrives at the Crimson Palace during a ball. Astarion allows her to go, with some caveats. Angst and smut.
Read on AO3
Masterlist.
The invitation could not have come at a worse time for Astarion. They read it after the party, as the last of the guests prepared to depart.
He glanced at Ban, who was still staring at the letter. She looked a little lost, and he immediately knew she wished to go. If it had been up to him, the letter would have been tossed into the fireplace immediately. Seeing them, his old friends, would be an unwelcome reminder of who he’d been. He knew they preferred that Astarion: weak, someone who acquiesced to their wishes - with snide words, perhaps, but nary a protest. They had all slowly stopped talking to him after the rite. Not that he cared, he reminded himself; he needed no one other than his consort.
“So.” He broke the silence, tapping his fingers on the armrest of his throne. She was perched on his lap, still staring at the parchment, as if she hadn't heard him. He hated being ignored. Especially by her.
His hand slid down to grip her muscled thigh, squeezing a little harder than he normally would, aiming to draw her attention back to him. Ban’s eyes flicked up in surprise, then settled back into that detached expression she usually wore when talking to him in the presence of others.
“Yes, my lord?” she said mechanically. There were still some guests mingling in the ballroom, so she maintained the decorum befitting the Ascendant’s consort.
“If you wish to go to the reunion, pet…” he said, weighing it even as he spoke. He’d let her go. As much as he disliked the idea, she’d probably be delighted. But there was no way he'd let her out of his sight, especially not across that sort of distance. And especially not around the people who knew him before - people who had less than stellar opinions about his improved self.
“I would be glad to accompany you,” he drawled, masking the amount of time it actually took for him to decide. He stretched his legs as he spoke, as if it was a trivial matter and he’d decided on a whim.
He knew she exchanged letters with them, and it had never bothered him before. It did well to give her entertainment in between their work and overseeing the renovation of the palace. None of them had paid her a visit, however, and he found himself glad of it. Gods forbid they came and tracked mud on his carpets, touched his furniture with grubby hands, or worse - spewed supercilious, self-righteous drivel.
Ban put the parchment down. She was dressed in a tight dress with thigh slits that went up all the way to her hips, revealing the long, hard planes of her thighs. Astarion had chosen it, of course. It reminded him of the one she used to wear, the one that was given to them by Umberlee’s priestesses. His hand moved higher, rucking the dress up several inches, letting his greedy lust take over momentarily.
“We can go, pet, if you’ll let me have a little more than I usually get tonight,” he purred.
Ban nodded. Of course he’d ask for something in return. But this opportunity was far too important to pass up, especially after Gale’s most recent letter.
I may have come across some information that might be useful to you, he’d written. I shall look into it further and will update you soon.
“What… more… would you want to have?” she asked. Her pulse picked up slightly in apprehension, but also arousal. He could ask for anything, really, and if she were to deny him or push him too far, she worried it might finally be when he chose to compel her. And yet her body still responded to his words, to the mere idea of what he might ask for tonight. Still her beloved, even as they stood in the ruins of what they had built.
“I’ll let you know when we’re there.” He gave her haunch a light slap, indicating she should stand. She did, and he headed into the thinning crowd to see off the last of the guests.
She watched him go, his sharp figure cutting across the ballroom gracefully. As was their protocol during events like these, she headed for the doors, seeing the guests out and thanking them as they slowly ambled out of the palace. Her face felt tight, her smile too stiff. No one noticed. To them, she was simply the Ascendant’s plaything. No one was aware of exactly how much she contributed to his endeavors - just the way Astarion preferred it.
Before long, the ballroom was empty, and Ban headed back to their shared bedroom. The moment she opened the door he was upon her, his clothing already discarded on the floor. He growled as he pushed her against the wall.
“I have been wanting, my love. Waiting all night. I wanted to take you right in front of everyone,” he hissed against her ear, hands greedily grabbing every square inch of bare skin he could reach.
Ban arched her neck, moaning when he spoke. It was well-rehearsed and well-executed, and he usually bought it - or at least found it sufficient. Tonight, however, he did not. He drew back, arms on either side of her face, caging her against the wall.
The eyes boring into hers were as hungry and feral as ever, but then he shook his head as if to clear it. His erection stood proudly out from his abdomen, but he made no move just yet.
Ban eyed him warily, tonight’s discussion on her mind. She braced herself. “What did you want then, Astarion?”
As she said this, she slowly began to move to her knees. It was a pretty good guess; he did seem to like her in that position, to remind her who exactly was in charge. But she immediately realized it couldn’t be this. This was… normal, and he had asked for more.
Astarion’s hand on her shoulder stopped her, helping her back up. He gave her a long, thoughtful look. “Not that.”
Instead, he pressed closer. When he cupped her cheek, it was surprisingly, achingly tender. He pursed his lips, a small moment of uncertainty passing over his features.
“Love me,” he said, and it was a challenge. “You have not done that in so long, my treasure. Love me.”
It was one of those rare moments when he acknowledged that things had changed. She didn’t answer, but neither did she flinch. And he took that as his cue.
Hot, searing lips met Ban’s, yet another reminder that he was different. His free hand took hers and placed it flush over his heart. In the wilds, his slow, undead heartbeat had been a source of comfort to her; she had lain against it, listening to it night after night. Now it pounded and raced, something it had been incapable of before. She fought down the urge to draw her hand back.
“You haven’t done that in ages,” Astarion whispered as he broke the kiss. For a split second, he looked at her with desperate, longing eyes, but she missed it, her own eyes closed. “You haven’t listened to my heart, haven’t felt it beat for you. You used to,” he hissed, and there was anger there.
Did she prefer it when it was slow and abnormal? Did she prefer it to this one - strong, racing, living? It hurt him to think about it. Gods, it hurt him to think of before. The hand on her cheek tightened for the briefest moment, but he mastered himself. No.
“I need it again, Ban. If only for tonight.”
The words were a plea. Laced with demand, yes, but a plea nonetheless. His voice threatened to crack at the end of his sentence.
Ban exhaled roughly at his words. She was torn; a part of her wanted him to know exactly how to make her love him the way she used to. The other, larger part of her merely wished to pretend and get it over with.
“I love you,” she countered, “always have. Forevermore will.”
And that was the truth; for however changed and twisted he’d become, she would always harbor feelings for him.
Astarion wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up. It was a far cry from the time they’d slept together in the clearing, when he had hopped into her arms. He carried her to the four-poster bed effortlessly, setting her down on her back. He climbed over her, kissing his way up from her abdomen to her throat.
“You do?” the Ascendant said quietly. Inside, he was pained; he knew this to be largely true, but that resignation was there. That distance. Part of him wondered if that was the actual price of ascension.
Part of him thought that had he known, he would have refused it.
He kissed her throat, hiding his face. He let a growl escape him, let his hands grab her wrists and pin them above her head. He was not, would not, be weak. He wasn’t that mewling cur. Not anymore.
He had ascended. Now he must pay the price.
He brought a hand down to cup her breast. She whimpered when he gripped her wrists a little too tightly, and he instantly eased his grasp, sensing her discomfort. He lifted his head from her neck to watch her face. She had her eyes squeezed shut, face turned to the side to give him access to her throat. It was as if she was in the act of turning away from him.
How pathetic, he thought. I’m the king of my own little kingdom, and I feel as if I have lost everything.
But the Ascendant refused to let these thoughts rule his deeds. Vulnerability was something he had cleansed from himself. He released her wrists, his hands deftly undoing her dress. She shifted to help him strip it off of her.
As they finished, she finally spoke up.
“Yes, I do,” she said carefully, her face guarded and neutral. “I have loved you from the day I first laid eyes on you.”
And what a stupid godsdamned idea that had been.
Astarion wanted to push her, to force her to admit that the love they shared had been changed. By her. Because she wouldn't accept what he was. Because everything he’d given her - riches, power, sex - wasn't enough. Because she wanted the one thing he could not provide - doing so would pave the way for the ghosts of who they used to be. So he’d force them both to settle for this farce.
“And I love you, my dearest consort,” he said thickly, letting it go. He crawled his way back to her, settling his head between her legs. He pressed a kiss to her inner thigh, feeling her muscles tighten under his lips.
“I am nothing without you,” he whispered, and they both knew it to be painfully true.
He sunk his teeth into her thigh.
It wasn’t horribly painful, and Ban forced her leg to stop twitching. She watched her lord suckle at the wounds, his fingers gently making their way to her mound and finding her clit. He thumbed a soft, circular pattern he’d mastered long ago. Licking off the last of the blood, he met her gaze with heavy-lidded eyes. The sanguine hunger had been cured in the ascension, but he still craved her blood, simply because it was a part of her.
One dark, hungry look was all the warning he gave before he spread her folds and dove in, his tongue lapping needily at her core.
Ban hissed at the sudden warmth of his tongue, growing wet almost instantly. Sex may have lost most of its passion, but that didn’t mean there was none, or that it wasn’t enjoyable. Astarion was still Astarion, after all.
What Ban worried most about were his thoughts during the act. Did he still dissociate? They had been sleeping together almost every night since the rite, at his behest, but she had never dared ask. Before the rite, he’d finally been able to let her touch him, and even still it had been fraught. It was one of those topics she worried would hurt his ego and remind him of his past.
But Astarion was incredibly present; had been for some time now. He’d vowed to erase his past, and that had included the damage done by the parade of bodies he’d had to lie with. There’d been a learning curve, but it hadn’t been too difficult. Being in the moment was no longer challenging, not something he had to work at. Not when there was no longer anything to fear. He was the master now: he took what he wanted, in the time he wanted and in the manner he wished it to be.
And of course, because it was her. His Ban, the only one he’d ever allow to touch him, see him, know him this way, and she was the strongest balm of all. He knew he would be likely to relapse if they invited others to their bed - that shared event in Sharess’ Caress had proved as much - but alone with her, in his palace? Surrounded by everything that was his? It was effortless to be present in the moment.
He licked at her clit eagerly, alternating soft, feather-light touches with longer, harder laps. Then he wrapped his lips around it, letting his teeth graze her bud gently. He was rewarded with a low whimper and he chuckled darkly, satisfied. As broken as their love was, at least he knew he was still able to bring her to the heights of ecstasy. He snaked a hand down, palming his cock, grinding into his fist and the bed.
He licked her a bit more, bringing her close to peak, and then slowly slithered up her body. He met her gaze and saw a mix of lust, love, and that ever-present and all-encompassing resignation.
“Let me make love to you?” His tone was gentle and a little uncertain. He disliked the way it had slipped out of him, but found her reaction - surprise and… hope - well worth it. He figured that if he wanted her to at least pretend to truly love him tonight, then he may as well give her something to work with.
She gulped, the facade broken. “Yes, Astarion. Just like before.”
At any other time that would have enraged him, but his need to feel her love was too great tonight. He bit back a retort, watching her face as he stroked his cock a few more times before lining up and slowly sinking into her wet heat.
As she watched him slide into her, a small thought occurred to her: there’d never been a time they’d made love without something being off. The first two times they’d been together, he had been manipulating her. Their time in the Shadow-Cursed lands and even those final days before the rite had been filled with exploration, but also with worry. His ability to enjoy intimacy had still been fraught with setbacks. Every time after that had been after he’d changed. It was ironic, she mused bitterly, that the closest they’d gotten to healthy sex had been him seducing her for protection.
And then all thought was quickly chased away by the sensation of his cock burying deep inside her.
Astarion began thrusting. He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see Ban’s pained expression. He needed to think of her as she’d been, laughing as they made love - that genuine joy in simply being with him. He imagined her in the clearing, wincing a little as he remembered uncharitably thinking her gullible. Shifting course, he brought forth memories of their time in the Shadow-Cursed lands, when they had finally started something real and stopped having sex, but had found other ways to be intimate. When he would touch her, make her come undone, and she would look at him like the sun rose in his eyes. Those, he realized belatedly, were the happiest moments of his cursed existence.
He would give almost anything to see that again. Almost.
He rarely allowed himself to think of the past, but tonight was an exception. He’d asked her to love him again for one night, and so he indulged himself. He thrust faster, driven by his memories, trying to use his body to love her broken pieces back together; trying to give her what he couldn’t back then.
Ban noticed, saw Astarion’s eyes were closed. He was usually very visually greedy, eyes eating up her every reaction as he fucked her senseless, but tonight he seemed like his old self. His thrusts were hard, but with the intention to give, angling himself so that he hit her spot with every pass. She felt tenderness breaking through her apathy and was unable to stem the flow. She couldn’t help it; she stroked his cheek, surprised when he whimpered in response.
His eyes remained shut, but his face was less pained. “Stay with me,” he said, his tone entirely different. It was softer, more earnest. “Just like this, forevermore.”
“I will, if you stay like this too.” It wasn’t a demand, rather a plea. A prayer, one she hoped her Astarion could answer from across time and whatever distance now separated them.
They were both nearing their peak, Astarion thrusting as hard as he possibly could without hurting her. He shook his head at her words, an agonized expression on his face. In those few moments he’d stolen from the Ascendant, he wanted to grant her wish. But he knew once he came, he wouldn’t be able to.
He would have to be the Ascendant again when the dawn breaks, and the Ascendant refused to be that spawn - refused to be anything that man was. The spawn could only ever be allowed to surface in the dark of night, between silken sheets and whispered words; a secret the Ascendant could not allow her to see.
And if that broke her heart, well, the Ascendant could live with that. She’d still be here, and they could both continue the dance they knew all too well.
Ban decided to try again. It was a risk, and she feared being compelled, but if there had ever been a moment in the past six months that it could work, it would be this one.
“I would stay. If you let me be free, Astarion, I would st-”
“No!”
His eyes flew open, the moment evaporating instantly. Freedom? What? So she could run away from him? So he would be left with absolutely nothing, a wretched creature in far worse misery than he’d been in as a spawn? No. She could not be freed.
For a split second, he wished he’d made her into what he was under Cazador. But the thought was instantly swallowed by disgust and self-loathing. No. He would never.
But she couldn’t know.
Ban deflated at his outburst, the resignation returning to her eyes as she nodded. “Fine. For tonight, though, I can.”
He’d settle for that.
The Ascendant closed his eyes again, hips resuming their movement. He wanted to drown in his memories again, and so he let his mind fill with them, let his mind be caught in their current, allowing them to drag him under.
Her, laughing at some silly prank he’d pulled. Her in their tent, coming undone as his fingers touched her and his lips kissed her. Her, telling him she loved him for the first time, but not asking for anything in return.
The power of that final memory unraveled him. His climax washed over him, and the low whine that escaped his lips sounded nothing like the Ascendant. It was in that moment that his mind inadvertently reached for his creation - his bride.
They both gasped at the contact. He tried, frantically, to stem the flow of thoughts, and was mostly successful. Only one slipped through to her, the one which brought him to his peak.
He was reading a book while she rested on his chest, part of their usual nighttime routine. He looked down at her, brushing back a lock of her hair.
“You should sleep,” he said. “If we’re going to push for the nightsong tomorrow, you’ll need all your strength.”
She rolled her eyes and nodded. Tomorrow could decide the fate of the Shadow-Cursed lands, and she did need rest.
“I want to spend as much time with you as I can. Just in case things go wrong tomorrow.” Her hand splayed over his chest, and his undead heart sped up at the contact. He smiled.
“Once this is all done, darling, you’ll have eternity with me. I promise you that. As for tomorrow, we’ll be fine. I've got you,” he assured her lightly, miming shooting his twin crossbows.
Ban laughed, and her next words came forth unbidden.
“I love you, Astarion. You don’t ever have to say it back. I just wanted you to know.”
The memory washed over Ban and she felt the wild, intense surprise, the joy he’d felt at her words. The strength of his remembered elation stole her breath, and she stared at Astarion in shock. When the alien presence of his mind had entered hers, she’d thought he was finally going to bend her to his will. She had been prepared to fight. Instead, she’d seen this memory, one she had thought rejected by him.
Was he thinking about that? Was that on his mind as he came?
Astarion jerked back quickly, feeling threatened by this sudden, unwanted vulnerability, and much like a cornered animal, his only recourse was to lash out.
“How dare you,” he hissed. “You ask for freedom, but invade my mind. Look at me.”
He grabbed her by the jaw, turning her to face him. He was aware that it had been his mind that had reached out for hers; she didn’t even know such a thing was possible. But his need to never show weakness was too great. Indignation won out; he took umbrage at this evidence that she could coax that sort of softness from him still, that even the Ascendant could be swayed by her love.
”You will never be free. You understand? Everyone - everything you need is here. In. This. Palace.” He let go of her, his chest heaving. Tears threatened to prick his eyes but he refused to consider why, holding them back by sheer force of will.
“You’ve done as I asked. We will go to the reunion. And then you’ll see,” he sneered, “exactly how pathetic the past was, compared to now.”
With those venomous words, he turned away from her. He missed the determined gleam in her eye, the one that he used to find so vexing and yet so alluring, the one that had never failed to charm him.
Later that night, whilst the Ascendant was in trance, his creation began to prepare a bag. She packed her old armor and weapons from their adventure. In the morning, she would say that she was giving them to Karlach for her battles in Avernus.
And he would believe it, because he’d forgotten her strength, forgotten the stubborn determination that had lured him to her in the first place. He’d believe it because he would be there, watching her. Because he, in his insistence on keeping her a caged bird, had forgotten what she was capable of.
#astarion smut#astarion#astarion baldurs gate#baldurs gate astarion#bg3#astarion x tav#astarion x mc#astarion fic#astarion ancunin#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate tav#astarion angst#astarion ascended#astarion romance#bg3 fanfiction#bg3 smut#vampire ascendant#ascended astarion x f!tav#astarion x female oc#ascended astarion x tav#astarion x f!tav#astarion x female tav
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So in other words, you agree, Sam and Cait are not very good actors as exemplified by the scene being them and not Beauchamp and Fraser. On that, agreed. She might be a C actor, he's definitely a D
Dear Beauchamp and Fraser Anon,
I suspect you might be a returning one, by the way, hoping to catch me unprepared with a very cheap sophism. Check this concept on Wikipedia if you wish, but I will give you my definition: manipulated or derailed logic, i.e. formally sustainable, but in reality just a fallacy; or, if you prefer, a bunch of crap, just for the sake of it. Also, it would be wise not to try these cheap tricks on someone trained to work with words and doing so every single day: you might find no satisfaction, ultimately.
Fun fact: I don't agree with any single word you just wrote. Sam and Cait are very good and gifted actors. Both of them. They did wonders with a very inconsistent script and under barbaric public pressure. What dragged you in here, Anon? Mrs. Gabaldon's florid, even luxuriant prose? What kept you in here, Anon? Blood and sperm and rape galore? I should wish you were honest, at least for once in your life, and let your answer be 'not really'.
What I meant by that phrase was something very simple: the actors' life experience deeply informing and sublimating their performance. If you think real and creative lives are strictly separate affairs in any intellectual endeavor, then you are probably completely unfamiliar with anything remotely related to writing, singing, playing (an instrument), acting, composing or painting. All these are akin to magic and all of the above are a summoning of sorts: ask any 'content creator', you will probably get a very similar answer. In Cait and Sam's case, their real life story nurtures and elevates their acting, despite people like you.
I am not an actor myself, but a long time ago it was acting that liberated me and taught me to not be afraid of anything. I did not make a living out of it, but I will always have the tools making me able to access that very special energy, any time I should need it. So, I can only offer you an educated opinion of These Two:
C is a very, very good actress. She is classy, sophisticated and knows instinctively how to occupy a stage or a set. She worked and progressed a LOT since Season 1, when it took me a good while to warm up to her. Add to this what I think is arresting beauty. Not really a C-level, in my book.
S is a wonderfully gifted actor who, unlike C, does not have any idea of this potential and, to be honest, gives the impression to even not care about it. He singlehandedly dominated some of the most difficult moments of the series (that unwatchable Wentworth episode comes to mind). His mastery of the Stanislavski and Lecoq methods and techniques is excellent. He is likeable, personable and has an innate emotional intelligence, helping him navigate and compensate the weaknesses of (yes, I insist!) an often insufficient script. I have already written about it, with arguments, when I found some very interesting parallels between The Fiery Cross episode and Laurence Olivier's performance in Shakespeare's Henry V. I will say it again: this guy has been grossly miscast, spare for JAMMF.
Perhaps you are unfamiliar with the whole preparation and rehearsal process when producing a movie or a series or a theatre show. These people don't just learn their lines by heart and turn up for readings and rehearsals. They also read and watch a lot of things that could help them build better, more credible characters. But what makes the sometimes very subtle difference between a decent performance and a stellar one is the amount of themselves they allow inside their acting. And in this respect, I think Sam and Cait have been very lucky, in what is a very clear case of Art (instinctively) imitating Life.
I doubt this answered your question and to be honest, I don't care.
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do you mind sharing a bit more about your analysis of heart,,,
i'd love to!!
(i assume this is about the heart critique piece i did a few months ago, but please correct me if im wrong!)
in terms of the "a critique on the treatment of hearts characterization" piece, i wanted to visually explore some frustrations i have had with how the fanbase seems to fall into some unfortunate patterns when it comes to hearts character.
frequently, i see heart infantilized - this either comes across as him being a kicked dog unable to help himself because he is too weak, a baby angel who did nothing wrong, or a feral gremlin child.
i think flattening his character down to any/all of these is, for lack of a better word, a bit problematic?
; one reason being it just defeats the idea of emotions being a visceral, intense thing. heart is meant to represent emotion in its purest form; i feel woobifying him takes away from that concept because it shows having emotions as being inherently weaker or less mature.
i think a lot of people kinda forget HMS aren't just tv show characters. they represent greater concepts that near everyone feels and feels uniquely - theyre more sensitive than your typical character.
thats not saying treating them as characters is bad! everyone relates to them differently because they are so personal, they make them their own and i think thats really awesome!! ; but boiling them down to these really generic tropes and making heart a baby kinda defeats the idea that emotions are a real, visceral, multifaceted concept.
; another reason i think it can be problematic is that it sometimes unintentionally comes across really ableist?
a lot of these 'fandom-y' tropes are already rooted in ableism in some way, which is bad on its own, but theres also the important addition that heart is frequently portrayed as blind.
ive seen people time and time again fall into stereotypes with heart that his blindness makes him weak/helpless/childish. truthfully I dont think people do this intentionally, but its still internalized ableism showing up.
i recognize that a lot of the people who woobify heart tend to be on the younger side, so they dont really recognize that theyre flattening him down like that- not out of malicious ignorance, but because theyre kids who havent really had the life experience yet to grasp the full concepts of the album or realize they might be implying harmful stereotypes; that doesn't necessarily mean its okay, but i think its just them being uneducated cause theyre kids and they have yet to learn that stuff.
; all that being said, im not trying to police people on how they portray characters. im not any authority on this fandom/album by any means imaginable - im just a fan like everyone else here!
like i said before, characterizing HMS is not inherently a bad thing at all ! its fun, and its what this fanbase is built on in the first place! its so great that everyone can interpret and relate to HMS so personally, i think chonny really hit it off with the concept for the album and the execution is stellar! seeing all the fanart and different interpretations of it and the characters is such a beautiful thing, no matter if its joking, lighthearted, or deep!
; at the end of the day, theres no wrong way to interpret this album, and theres no wrong way to characterize heart. more than anything that critique piece was built up frustration turned to a call to action for people to stop and think deeply for a moment about how they portray heart - to open eyes if someone might be unknowingly flattening or adding problematic ideas to their characterizations.
and to just be mindful of that going forward! 💜
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Ace Wedding Night
Look, maybe they should have had this conversation when Ravio moved in. Definitely should have had it by the time they started dating. Absolutely should have had it when Legend proposed.
But it's his wedding night and "should have" isn't helping.
The ceremony was stellar, all the Chain helping take on some work to lighten the load. He'll admit, he cried when Time agreed to be the one to "give him away" since he had no living relatives to do so. Ravio looked stunning in his black wedding gown, a cold shoulder mermaid dress. Impa ordained the whole deal, and Fable hugged and congratulated her brother at the reception.
Honestly, while he was nervous about it in the days leading up to the wedding, Legend had entirely forgotten about tonight. lost in the joy of getting married, and making merry at the reception.
But now it's at the forefront of his mind. Ravio kissed him, long and heated, then said they should both take a shower before they started the rest of the night. The implications weren't lost to Legend, especially when the merchant fixed him with a heated, half-lidded stare.
Legend was stuck in the bathroom, though. He long finished his shower, but didn't move to turn off the water. He was scared. Once he did that, there was no going back. Ravio already showered, dressing in a sheer silk black nightgown. He was probably expecting Legend to come out in his own nightclothes, then they'd kiss and get on the bed and. Ugh.
It was stupid. Legend liked Ravio. He liked the idea of doing something nice for the merchant. Kisses and cuddles were great, and he couldn't get enough of them. But the idea of going further seemed so gross. Even if he tried to imagine it with Ravio, he couldn't get over how little any part of it appealed. Sweat, and saliva, and skin on skin. His stomach lurched.
"Link?" There were two knocks on the bathroom door. "Everything all right in there?"
He should respond. Say he's ok, and burst out in a big romantic gesture to scoop Ravio up and please him. He was a Hero Of Courage, dammit! Something this normal shouldn't be paralyzing him with fear.
"I'm coming in."
Legend wanted to stop him, to reassure him that everything was alright, but fear rendered him mute, just the same as when he was a child staring at his own wanted poster on the castle walls.
Oh, he was crying.
The moment Ravio saw him, he raced to his side in alarm. "Link? Are you ok? Are you hurt? What's going on?" The merchant took Legend's face in his hands, scanning to figure out what was wrong.
Legend tried to respond, but there was a ball of anxiety in his throat. Gently, Legend pushed Ravio back so the merchant could see his hands.
'I'm sorry. It's my fault.' He repeated the apology in circles over his chest.
Ravio switched to sign as well, eyes wide. 'What is? What's wrong?'
'I don't know why I'm scared. I love you." He should explain, but the concept was looming, terrifying. If he named it, it felt like it would break what little hold he still had over his emotions.
Ravio lifted his hands, seeming as if he was trying to sign something but couldn't find the words. This, his mouth formed a little 'o', some realization dawning on him. Then, his hand moved, forming a hook near his cheek with his other index finger crossed over it as he brought it up to his ear.
Legend blinked, uncomprehending. Ravio tilted his head, then nodded in understanding.
'Sorry, that's a sign my friend made up. It's for A-S-E-X-U-A-L.' Ravio fingerspelled quickly. Had he practiced that word a lot?
'Asexual?' Legend repeated the sign Ravio made earlier. Oh, it made sense. Like crossing out 'sex'.
'So are you?' Ravio said, his face filled with a terrifying patience.
Legend hesitated. At least Ravio had heard of the term before. That helped calm the ball of anxiety, albeit only enough for him to speak.
"I am. I'm sorry I didn't warn you earlier. I just- I really do love you. I kept meaning to tell you, but I was so scared you'd think there was something wrong with me, or want to break up," Legend's voice hitched. How cowardly was he? If this was information Ravio was going to break up with him over, he should have told him before they were married! He was scum.
"Hey, hey, it's ok. Bun, look at me?" Ravio used the pad of his thumb to brush away the renewed tears. "I'd suspected something like that, I just didn't want to assume."
"Wait, what?"
"You never initiated or showed any interest, and every time we made out, you'd always stop the moment things started to escalate. I'm not stupid, you know?"
"It's not because of you, I promise. It's like this with everyone, I swear you're beautiful and you look so pretty in that nightgown-" Legend stopped abruptly as Ravio placed a finger on his lips.
"It's ok, I know what asexual means. Hilda is the same way. She got so frustrated with suitors not understanding that she wasn't interested in going farther with anyone. They always thought they were this exception, or they'd convert her. I know it isn't about me." Ravio smiled softly, grabbing Legend's hands to hold them reassuringly.
"I'm sorry. I should have told you," Legend hiccuped.
"I know it's scary. A lot of people wouldn't react well." Ravio squeezed his hands gently.
"Do you want to split up?" It was a whisper, raw and vulnerable.
Ravio had the gall to laugh at him. "If I needed sex, our relationship wouldn't have lasted this long. It's ok, I can take care of myself. If all you want is cuddles and kisses, I've been prepared for that."
Legend squeezed Ravio's hands back. All that fear melted away in a single sentence. It was almost unfair. "I love you so much."
"I know." Ravio kissed him, and when Legend cried, they both knew they were happy tears this time.
#lu legend#lu ravio#asexuality#ravio x link#ravioli#muse writes#muse's ravioli week#raviolink#ravio#linked universe#loz ravio#fanfic#albw ravio#ravio zelda
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I'm gonna offer a little morsel to chew on that's been driving me insane😳 for your consideration, imagine on the off chance P manages to take an actual break at the hotel, not just a quick round of chats with everyone, or weapon/strength upgrades, but a full on extended break.
And during that break he discovers he's got a love of reading, and just so happens to gravitate towards the sweet and sappier type of books! (He of course reads anything that piques his interest, but for the sake of this thought I'd imagine that he keeps to these softer books as a sort of escape from the horrors beyond the hotel!🥺)
And in these books he keeps learning about all the ways in which humans and characters show affection: The plethora of darling terms of endearment or the meaningful warmth that comes from a special nickname, the endless tiny ways to show concern or care. It's the gentle kiss placed on the inside of a wrist, giving someone your umbrella/overcoat when the rain or chill is too much, looking into someone's eyes and being so whole heartedly lovestruck it makes your chest ache and heart thump a fierce pace.
(I think he'd get really caught up on the concept of when a couple is heading to bed one will often sleep on the side closest to the door, that even when asleep they want to shield their beloved🥺)
After his discovery I honestly think he'd become a bit of a mother hen, doting and even a dash fretful at that! He once saw you make your way down the stairs of the hotel without holding onto the railings, nearly tripping and straining your ankle. You try to pull that stunt after he's read his books? Right in front of lover boy? You are getting a glower and have a choice to make, either the railing or his hand, you have to hold one! >:(
I'm telling you, he may be made out of rigid cogs and unfeeling metal, has single handedly ravished droves of enemies and terrors, but this man has sugar glass ribs and a jelly heart, so unendingly sweet and warm, and if he could I bet he'd open his chest and give you his very own heart, hoping you'd see how the pace of its ticks speed up, just for you.
I have so so many more sappy sweet thoughts, and I hope it wasn't an annoyance to get such a behemoth of an ask, but from one P enjoyer to another I wanted to send something in! <:) I hope you're doing well, and have a wonderful rest of your day/night! ^^ (Oh and!! just wanted to say that I love all of the writing and hc's that you do for the mad lad, you capture him wonderfully!🥺)
I absolutely love the idea that P realizes he should get a day off like everyone else. He's worked to the bone every day, poor guy. And can't imagine Geppetto would be too happy about his Ergo-harvesting puppet realizing that he can take breaks lol
And P would totally take romance novels to heart, I bet he'd also take to writing little love letters and leaving them around for you to find... even if his handwriting is less than stellar 🥺
He is such a bleeding heart of a man, and I say this with the ultimate amount of affection.
Also I'm never annoyed by asks, even long ones, most of the time they make my day 🐸
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It is universally acknowledged that Hob is the Pussy-Eating Champion, right? I bet that would mean he has exacting standards on how his own pussy was eaten out, and he has no issues telling his partners exactly how to go about it 👀👀
Dream’s never considered himself as someone who’s bad at eating pussy, but it’s clear from the beginning of their relationship that he’s in the presence of a Master of the art, who won’t accept anything less for his own cunt. For the most part Hob is happy to follow Dream’s lead in bed, except for this. When it comes to eating him out, class is in session.
Luckily, Dream intends to be a stellar pupil and pass the course with flying colors.
(In a world where Dream either also has or can give himself his own pussy, I’m particularly struck by the idea that one of Hob’s usual lessons is a demonstration via 69-ing; Dream has to copy everything Hob does to him as they eat each other out)
-🪽anon
I looooove this as a concept. What better way is there for Hob to demonstrate? He expects Dream to be a very studious pupil, and he's in a perfect spot to smack Dream’s pretty little pussy if he makes any mistakes. Of course Dream loves the sensation of having his cunt spanked so sometimes he might mess up on purpose. But 90% of the time, he does so good! He works hard to make sure that Hob gets the oral he deserves, even though its pretty difficult to concentrate as his own cunt is being expertly worshipped!!
Dream favourite part of the whole process is that Hob really does take on the teacher personar. The same voice that he uses when he's being strict with his students, is the voice he uses to correct Dream’s tongue placement. The same crooning, soft tone that he uses if a class have done particularly well on an assignment is the same tone that hes uses to call Dream a good boy. Dream didn't expect to be so turned on by it, but he really is. He always looks forward to a session with professor Hob. Maybe he'll have to let Hob take the lead in the bedroom a little more often...
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Stubborn as a Bull- Doflamingo x F!Reader
I have so many ideas for Doffy. It's crazy I haven't really written anything about him in almost a year. (I want to explore my dilfs more this year lol) I also want more chef/restaurant related fics because I have no concept of work-life balance and will indulge in my career-related fantasies. This will be a quickie
cw: modern au(?), fem reader, stubborn reader, rich af Doflamingo, mdni
You had never met a many so annoying yet tempting as the one before you. However, your stubbornness was a strength, so you knew you could play that game.
You had received an array of gifts and praises for your culinary feats. You had awards, interviews, glowing reviews in multiple restaurants. You were sent wines, knives, and books.
You stayed humble as you knew some celebs and politicians on a first-name basis since they were regulars and knew that the attention could bring both good and bad.
You had expected your ego to come and slap you in the face. All people tried to lure you in and trap you. It'd be a normal descent from success.
Instead, after service that you thought was normal, one Doflamingo Donquixote was asking for your number offering a job in the private sector as well as inviting you on a date. You graciously declined. You thought that'd be it.
It was not.
Because even though there was a three month wait list for your restaurant, you went out to a nearly-deserted dining room where only Doflamingo sat glancing at the menu and sipping the priciest wine.
"I thought that work had been your excuse. I can take you somewhere far from this, and you won't have to worry about the finances of your business." He was a mad man. A rich one, your business partner corrected, but you ignored him again.
Doflamingo bought the restaurant out for a week, and when you stopped going to the dining room after day three, he was shocked at where he found you.
You were all smiles and rainbows serving the less-fortunate at a local soup kitchen. You laughed when you saw the filthy rich man decked out in suits and jewelry standing in the less than stellar facilities. When you were done, he asked you why you were there instead of resting at home or something. "I live to feed people." was all you said.
Doflamingo stopped buying out the restaurant, but still floated in and around before and after business hours. You ignored him while you directed your cooks and tested recipes. Doflamingo admired the structure silently and wondered how far you would have ended up if you were in the corporate world. The skills were definitely transferrable.
You nearly lost it when the man bumped into your china--shattering it again--and brushed it off with a check. You knew replacements would be there by morning, but that wasn't the point. "Stop being so wasteful." So to get him out of your space, you let him take you out. You could hold up against fancy meals and shopping sprees.
You were not expecting an intimate setting in one of his homes where he cooked you his mother's favorite meal--the only thing he could make. You knew about the man's harshness, how he ran businesses. And while the food was delicious, you would never admit it.
"Too much salt." was all you said even after you cleaned your plate. You were stubborn to say things like him, but if he noticed that you stopped by his place to cook and gave him basic lessons, then he never said anything either.
You just ended up with a rich man ready for your call--a partner--but he wouldn't exactly say his feelings either.
Guess he was stubborn too.
~~~
Cheesy, yes but I will indulge! I was thinking about how chef people cook to feed others because we definitely don't get a luxurious paycheck from it. I wondered how Doffy would go about that difficultness.
I will write him more! Thanks for stopping by!
#one piece#one piece x reader#donquixote doflamingo#doflamingo x reader#modern au#chef au#fem reader#partyanimal167
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We’ve reached 100 followers, and of course here’s your reward lol
The Smosh Pony Celebration Post!🎉
I’m going to supply the Smosh pony art I made in middle school , more art of the “Smosh in Equin” mock au, and Smosh pony designs based on Ian and Anthony’s current appearances! My two hyper fixations merged into an abomination of god!💕 This post is a long one so I hope you all enjoy!
I’ve noticed that some of you guys aren’t familiar with Mlp lore I don’t blame you I’ll supply some terminology and definitions so we’re all on the same page. I’ll be focusing on the lore of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic which I’ll be shortening to MLPFIM for simplicity sake. I’ll only go over really basic lore so you don’t need to watch the show to understand this post.
Cutie Mark - that weird symbol on a pony’s ass. They signify that pony’s ‘special talent’ or a symbol that represents their identity. These special talents are usually an activity that comes natural to its owners. Some can get rather abstract in meaning and design while others might be obvious. For example, a pony good at drawing might have a pencil and paper as a cutie mark. This gets very existential the more you think about it
Equestria - the central setting of MLPFIM ruled by two princesses. It’s home to ponies, dragons, and a multitude of fantasy creatures.
Pony - Ponies exist as three main types; Earth Ponies (normal horse), Pegasus (horse with wings), and Unicorns (wizard horse).
Pegasus (lore) - Pegasi can fly and move/stand on clouds. They usually work in controlling the weather. The weather is weirdly manual in the MLPFIM universe I’m not getting into it
Unicorns - Horses with a horn that allow them to use magic! Mostly telekinesis unless the pony is has raw magical talent (ie. Twilight Sparkle).
Earth Ponies - Normal horses but agricultural makes bank so they aren’t complaining.
Alicorns - All three horse types in one er a Pegasus with a horn.
(Made in 2012)
I originally made a cringey Smosh pony ‘series’ in middle school. All your favorite characters are here! Looking back, this entire concept was just really self indulgent. I shipped myself with Anthony (gurl wtf you’re 12??? Of course she’s an alicorn too lol) and some of these characters. As embarrassing as this is, I remember getting my friends involved, and we all would bounce ideas off each other about plot and lore. Just a bunch of preteen artists meshing what they love in one big project.
That being said if my preteen horse sona did meet Ian and Anthony it would probably be like this:
Cynicism aside I decided to draw the old designs of Ian and Anthony for old times sake.
I have no clue why they’re wearing hoodies like an eddsworld character or why Anthony has the Smosh symbol as a cutie mark but Ian doesn’t.
Fast forward to fuckin last year I got the idea for the April Fools Smosh horse thing and my brain just ran with it. This entire 'au' is one big satire of my middle school concept.
Terms like ‘cutie mark’ and ‘Equestria’ are replaced with ‘soul brand’ and ‘Equin’ since it doesn’t actually take place in the MLP universe.
Minor spoilers: Sketch ver. Ian and Anthony fuckin die and are reincarnated as horses forgetting their past lives. They grew up and live as social outcasts unable to use magic/fly properly because they literally don’t belong there and the universe is actively rejecting them. They fight forces that look like biblically accurate angels because they’re celestial bodies trying to remove them from the universe (Ian and Anthony are only fighting them because they think the big wheels with eyes are keeping them there but it’s actually something else).
With that being said, art time!
That got me thinking about what Ian and Anthony would look like if they were in the mlp universe. Of course my brain took this concept and ran with it. I’d like to share what I came up with!
Stellar Prism (Anthony) and Golden Horizon (Ian)
• They got their cutie marks together at the same time as kids.
• Gold’s talent is radiating sun energy that makes everyone in a 10ft radius happy. He literally glows when he’s happy.
• Prism can focus on someone’s talent and magnify the magic energy from them. I used Anthony’s quote of being a magnifying glass as a jumping off point.
• They preform comedy shows together akin to a manzai routine where Prism is the straight man and Gold is the funny man. They’d travel Equestria preforming together.
• Just like real life, Prism split from Gold because he felt like he didn’t know who he was without Gold. His talent is showing other people’s potential but he wanted to discover his own. While split, Prism studied more “unpopular” forms of magic to rediscover himself. He basically went through the abyss but came out on the other side self content. His ‘tattoos’ are side effects from these magic experiments.
• During the split, Gold met other aspiring comedians (other Smosh members) and they all formed into a comedy troupe.
• When Gold reunited with Prism, he was so happy that he accidentally flashbanged Prism.
• Prism calls Gold “Duck” because he looks like a rubber duck.
• Gold is a pretty fast flyer. He can out-fly most members of the troupe.
That's all from me! Thank you guys again for 100 followers! I've never really used Tumblr and I'm very late to the game. I'm still thankful for all the support I received! <3
Don't come cryin to me if this post got you to draw horses lol
#smosh#ian hecox#anthony padilla#ianthony#mlp#mlp fim#mlp art#my art#smosh art#mlp au lore#mlp au#ramblings#character design#my little pony friendship is magic#my little pony#☀️🔍#☀️ 🔍
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I swear the way some people will flip-flop between calling people porn addicts for liking an attractive female character as an insult or say “just go watch porn” is astounding because make up your minds, everyone. Yes, this is about Stellar Blade. A game with an attractive woman. I’d much rather deal with the “she’s a lesbian and NOT for the heterosexual men” crowd then hear people trivialize an addiction and a serious one at that just to insult straight men for being attracted to women.
And this is one of the very few times I agree with some of the guys on this because the girl in Stellar Blade is a cutie and like a lot of other video game characters with realistic or semi-realistic graphics, her proportions are realistic as they used a 3D scan of a Korean model.
I also love flashy fashion on fictional women, good looking characters (totally not the reason I played Resident Evil, Street Fighter, The Evil Within, and Devil May Cry lol), hack-and-slash games, so Stellar Blade is on my video game wishlist.
Back to what I’m saying, if this was (and this is me encouraging a future game developer to make this a concept) an attractive man who’s sexualized to oblivion in the game and is shirtless in the vast majority of his outfits with his most scandalous “outfits” being a straight up speedo or a chippendales look, no one would be saying any of that. Just saying. And again, future game developers, feel free to use this idea I popped out of my head.
Besides, it’s not just guys that are convinced or motivated to play a game because of “gameplay” (aka boobies), some of us ladies have played games like COD, RDR2, DMC, RE, TEW, MK, and in my case, SF6 for the hot guys.
To end this positively (or not depending on who comes on here), what is a game that motivated you to play for the “gameplay?” Don’t worry, I don’t judge, cause I got about -10 room to judge.
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if you recall i mentioned coming up with an idea for an airplane dragon/aeromorph variant a few days ago, this would be it. introducing the rhiptomorph, or "popdrake", inspired by autogyros and jaculi! c: they aren't very visibly mechanical, as i'm not too good with non-organic designs, but i'm sure you can come up with that part better than i can. :p
i wasn't aiming for anything particularly stellar, simply accidentally came up with a drastically different design while trying to make a plane dragon OC and thought it would be neat as a variant subspecies.
in spirit and honor of the original concept by @scpkid being an open species, rhiptomorphs are also open with the simple request that you don't do any offensive designs. oh yes, and i would love to see your interpretations of them, so feel free to ping or show me! c:
~Sylverwynd
now, i should properly draw the OC that inspired this attempt...
#furry#furry art#furry artist#sfw furry#safe fur work#dragon#plane dragon#airplane dragon#rhiptomorph#popdrakes#aeromorph#open species#custom species#of silver winds#sylverdraws
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Okay I had a whole thing typed that was my review for the new Pokémon dropped in Indigo Disk, but tumblr ate it, so take 2
Starting with my favorite, Archaludon. It's a dragon, a kaiju, also a stapler remover, also a bridge with power cables inside. This is a really cool design overall and fixes what I dislike about Duraludon, and it's fun to play with. 9/10
Hydrapple fixes what I dislike about Dipplin, but does make Flapple and Appletun a bit obsolete. Regardless, it's a fun idea and concept- I love that 7 Syrpents (which I guess aren't individually pokemon on their own? Slowbro Shelder situation I guess) make up 1 pokemon. It's silly but fun. 8/10
Also these two are neat because the concepts tie into New York/ Unova if we look at it through lense of Archaludon's Sky Arrow Bridge being based on Brooklyn Bridge and Rainbow Bridge, and Hydrapple clearly being a Big Apple reference. Very creative
Onto the paradoxes
Raging Bolt is interesting. I prefer Raikou, and I'll be the first to admit that I do not give a shit about how many cultural or historical references are in a design, if it looks like shit its a shit design. But this design is pretty okay, and because of that I can appreciate ALL of the inspirations that went into its design.
First off, with the Beast Paradoxes drawing inspiration from dinosaurs, we have Raging Bolt as the Thunder Lizard- aka Brontosaurus. That alone is meat, but it's still pretty mammalian compared to Walking Wake- that's because there's references to something called a Questing Beast. In Medieval times, before the age of cameras or fact checking, a description of an animal far far away- such a giraffe- can get twisted abd distorted via several games of telephone until we get to a creature that combines the lower body of a leopard and deer and the neck and head of a snake- aka the Questing Beast. Raging Bolt plays a bit with all of these ideas in a pretty unique and fun way. 8/10
Iron Crown- admittedly the Justice Paradoxes suffer a bit from the same "just make it a robot" mentality that plagues other Violet Paradoxes, but the Swords of Justice got the better end of it, I'd say. Iron Crowns in particular actually fixes what I hate about Cobalion by adding segments to the legs and thus making them feel less like bipedal knees on a quadrupedal animal.
It's signature move, Tachyon Cutter, also looks so cool in action by making the horns HUGE and GLOWING. That's awesome imo. 8/10
And now the new paradoxes we knew were coming
Gouging Fire, Entei's Paradox. I'll say that I like it, although this is the least changed of the Beasts and is basically just Entei in a fancy hat. Hey, that's fine though.
The dinosaur Entei is based on is some kind of ceratopsian blend. I personally thought they'd go in that direction with a triceratops design, so I was close. The head dress piece actually gives me Ho-Oh vibes, in particularly the gold and greens, which could be purposeful and root the Beasts Paradoxes back to the Beast's master, Ho-Oh. Fun design, 8/10
Iron Boulder. This one imo is more of the "robot" angle but done in a very good way. I like Terrakion best out of the Swords to begin with, but only at certain angles in 2d (they murdered him in SV. Murdered. He looks like a cross eyed frog now.) Iron Boulder takes the bulky build of Terrakion and makes it work better in 3d by incorporating spherical and cone builds along its body and head.
It definitely looks the LEAST like a psychic type out if any psychic type I've ever seen, but that's fine. Like Iron Crown with its twin horns and Iron Leaves with its 3 blades, Iron Boulder has a cool looking sword move- his turns his two larger horns into ONE MASSIVE GLOWING BLADE. THAT'S REALLY COOL! 8/10
And now. The Boy
Terapagos is a cute design that becomes more elegant, refined, and Stellar as it becomes stronger. While I'm a bit disappointed at how they handled it in story after a year of build up, I do think the designs after it's base form are incredibly detailed and creative.
The type patterns on its shell actually shift and change smoothly to other types, and the Terastilized form is even more incredible by representing every type plus a hat version of its original form. Beautiful, yet imposing, and a tad silly. The dome is an interesting take that I believe might represent the world or perhaps even a larger turtle- the design could reference one of many World Turtle mythologies and possibly have it represent a planet in space, or maybe a Turtle floating in the ocean, perhaps it's even a reference to the Tale of Urashima Taro. If Terapagos was available in Blueberry Academy- which I think it started out that way in planning- it could even represent the Terarium itself. Perhaps a deeper story was originally planned but dropped- like the castles and gigantic tree of Crown Tundra.
Regardless, base form is a 6/10. Its cute but kinda pointless. The other forms though are 8/10 though for incredible execution, wonderful and pleasing use of color, and overall just being great.
This batch of new Pokémon is way better than Teal Mask's, let's be real. For the paradoxes, I'll say the Future ones got better after Iron Leaves, while Walking Wake was the peak for the Beasts. Ogerpon wins for cutest legendary with the best build up, but Terapagos definitely wins for best design. This batch is an everall 8/10
#pokemon#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon scarlet and violet spoilers#Indigo disk#the indigo disk#indigo disk spoilers#Archaludon#hydrapple#terapagos#iron crown#iron boulder#raging bolt#gouging fire#den reviews stuff
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Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson fighting for the readers attention and love, possibly with two different endings for each?
I thought it was a really cool concept and who better than you to make it happen!
This is....I love it.
Warnings: mentions of sex and drugs, swearing, spicy shit, overall slowburn between both relationships.
Word Count: 6,100 words guys. 6.1k. This is 6.1k. I think this was actually worth the wait lmao.
READ THE FOLLOWING A/N.
A/n: I'll post this and see what you guys think. In the comments PLEASE PLEAS PLEASE let me know if I should write the Eddie ending or Steve ending first. Also this is non-canon.
It's not that often where the two men that I'm in love with, and have been in love with, both have feelings for me. I spent weeks, months, crying over the thought of having to choose between them, knowing I would end up hurting one of them over the other. And I just couldn't fathom leading them on or hurting them, so, Dustin Henderson of all people came up with the idea that they would 'duel' over me.
The agreement was simple in the beginning.
Eddie was immediately happy, it completely peaked his interest and was right up his alley when it comes to winning over women. But Steve was confused. Of course he wanted to fight for me but he didn't physically want to fight, especially with his track record of getting the shit beat out of him.
So, Dustin laid out the plans.
Both of them would have a week to give it all they had. They weren't allowed to kiss me or make any physical, sexual, advances and they could only use their words to win me over- their stellar personalities. And at first, I thought that it was going to be easy, that one of them would stick out to me more and have better boyfriend material but fuck.
They're both just-
Perfect. They're perfect, wholesome, attractive, sensitive; everything.
And that's what makes it so hard.
Day 1:
My eyes pick a spot on my ceiling of my car, my mind trying to distract myself as I buck up the courage to go inside, knowing the kids are waiting for me. Twenty minutes late isn't a good look on me, especially when I've taken over as babysitter of the group, taking the boys back and forth from Hellfire Club whenever they needed.
But with the ongoing 'duel' and Eddie being revved up inside, awaiting my arrival- I'm not going to lie, it terrifies me. It's as if I'm seeing him in a new light now that he's gone above and beyond trying to get my attention since the moment I woke up. First it was the flowers on my front step, a small note with a smiley face on it, immediately making my heart explode with excitement. Second, it was the call I got about an hour and a half later, making sure I got the flowers and loved them 'as much as he thought I would'.
I never thought I was a flower type of person but apparently I am.
But, it was odd, because its radio silence on the Harrington side today.
There's been no calls, no impromptu visits or gifts. He's been relatively quiet which is weird considering who he is. Knowing him, he's at work and Keith is actually there for once, keeping him from the phone and keeping him from going on break. So all he's able to do is game plan with Robin and if there's one person I trust to give Steve romantic advice, it's Robin.
My feet carry me through the halls as I make my way up to their room, hearing the cheering and yelling from inside. I can only hope that they won, putting everyone in a good mood along with Eddie. Pushing open the door, it squeaks, capturing the attention of the people inside as they all turn to look at me. The smiles on their faces only grow as I smile to myself, chuckling quietly as Eddie claps his hands.
"Yes! You're just in time!" He cheers, waving me over as I wave at Dustin, giggling at the wink he throws my way. I step up to Eddie's side as he adjusts himself in his 'throne', his chin tilting to look up at me with a bright grin. "We won the campaign!" He giggles proudly as he claps once more, turning back to his friends with a proud grin.
"Well good, then I don't have to hear them complain all the way home." I snort, catching the eye rolls from the teens to my left, my hand reaching out to shove Mike playfully. "Maybe that even warrants ice cream... I don't know." I shrug nonchalantly but Mike, Lucas and Dustin are all immediately on their feet, happy and appreciative expressions on their faces.
"Damn, I want ice cream." Eddie huffs, my lips fanning out into a smirk and I shrug.
"That really sucks, doesn't it?" I whisper, reaching forward to pat his cheek playfully as his jaw drops. "It's weird, it's almost like you have a very pretty girl to ask out on an ice cream date and you're not taking that opportunity." His eyes widen but he nods excitedly, out of his seat in seconds, tripping as he makes his way to stand in front of me, towering over my frame.
"Get with it, man!" Dustin hisses, a cackle leaving me as I reach out to smack his arm. Eddie just places his hands on my upper arms, looking down at me. "No physical contact, Eds-"
"You said sexual contact, Henderson, this is not sexual yet!" Eddie yells, not bothering to move his hands, my head tipping back in a fit of giggles and the men around me laugh. "How about, I go with you, they sit at a different table, and I pay?" He offers breathlessly, brows pulled together in desperation as I pat his chest.
"With your drug money?" I tease but he just shakes his head with a smirk, tutting quietly at me.
"Yes, the drug money from the rich white people- exploit the rich." He wraps an arm around my shoulder without another word, nodding the children on as I hold my keys out to Eddie who takes them without a second thought.
When we're all fine and settled in our booths, one milkshake in between Eddie and I with two straws, my smile only grows. His hands rest on the table in front of me, my own fingers itching to reach out and play with the chunky rings that fit perfectly around his digits. You wanna know where else those fingers would fit?
"This is awfully romantic, Munson, I'll give you that." I chuckle, leaning forward to take a sip of the chocolate milkshake, his eyes watching my lips wrap prettily around the straw.
"I try my best." He shrugs with a gentle blush, his eyes avoiding mine as I grin. "So, what did you do today?" Oh other than fantasize about two guys who are both in love with me? I giggle, concealing my thoughts that want to slip from my obviously dirty mind, shrugging my shoulders playfully.
"Not Steve." I wink and he immediately nods, sitting up a little bit straighter as he points at me proudly.
"Good girl." Fuck. My insides twist at the subtle praise, my lip tugging between my teeth as I bite back a shuddered breath. "Yeah, I knew you were a 'good girl' type'a chick." He snorts, taking a long sip from the milkshake as I gawk at him.
"Nothing sexual, Eds." He rolls his eyes at my chastising tone, a wicked smirk spread across his lips that I want nothing more than to kiss.
"Dustin said no physical sexual advances. He never specified dirty talk." He winks, my thighs clenching and I continue to bite at my lip, knowing that this is not going to be an easy week for me.
But if it's not going to be an easy week for me, then I'm gonna make it even harder for them.
Day 2:
Stirring in my bed, my back thumps against the mattress as I flip over for the millionth time, my head spinning with thoughts about the date early on but also about my lack of contact with Steve. It bothered me, sure, but it also worried me that I went the whole day without hearing from him.
Grabbing my phone off of my bedside table, I toss it into my lap and immediately begin to slide in Steve's numbers, anxious butterflies swirling around in my stomach at the thought of him picking up, voice all groggy from sleep. But as the first line rings, my head shakes, hands slamming the phone down onto the base with a huff.
Why the hell am I so nervous?
I've known Steve for years, longer than I've even known Eddie, so why is it that this whole arrangement make me feel so nervous and unsteady around the two closest men in my life?
The hairs on every inch of my skin sticks up as a knock on my window sounds throughout my room, my brows pulling together at the sight of a figure outside my drapes. Timidly, I pull back the curtains to see Steve, a relieved smile on his lips as I reach up to wipe sleep from my eyes. I immediately set the phone down and slide the window open, helping him over the threshold and into my room.
"I actually just chickened out of calling you." I chuckle quietly, holding a finger to my lips as I leave the window open, enjoying the light that it brings to my previously pitch-black room. He grins, running a hand through his hair as he slips off his shoes, falling back onto my bed almost immediately.
"Well, I'm here, apparently I read your mind." Snorting, I roll my eyes, moving to lay down next to him as I take a deep breath. "I feel so shitty for not seeing you or calling you today. Keith was at the video store and I literally could not catch five goddamn minutes." He huffs anxiously, tilting his head to look over at me but I just reach over to pat his thigh reassuringly.
"That's exactly what I assumed happened. I was only mildly worried." I explain quietly with a shit-eating grin on my face. He chuckles, nodding his head in relief. "So what made you come over?"
"Dustin called me and said you and Eddie went on a date. That he paid for all your ice cream and stuff." There's a sense of disgust in his voice, his lips tugged down into a frown.
"Yeah, it was nice. They won their campaign today so I figured celebration was in order." I curl up on my side next to him, my eyes flickering over his tired expression as he yawns. "You didn't have to worry and come all the way out here at midnight. It's barely day two." I whisper and he nods immediately, his head lolling to the side as he gazes softly at me in the dark room.
"I know, I know. I just..." He trails off, biting at the inside of his cheek as he scoots a bit closer to me, his nose only inches away from mine. "All I thought about today was you." My lip tucks between my lip as I grin excitedly.
"Yeah?" I ask but I already know that's true just from what I know about both of the boys begging for my attention. Once they give their undivided attention towards one thing- or person- that's where all of their energy will go towards. "That's kind of romantic, Harrington." He chuckles sheepishly, reaching over to shove me but his eyes never leave mine, flickering back and forth from my gaze, down to my lips. Every ounce of my body is telling me to kiss him, to just break the rules and see what it feels like- that maybe it would help me gain insight towards my ultimate, painful decision. "I want to kiss you." I admit, my confession sounding awfully shaky as his eyes widen briefly, lips parting handsomely and he chuckles under his breath.
"I wanna do more than just kiss you." My thighs clench at his words, heart skipping a beat as I watch his tongue sweep out across his lips. He has me completely wrapped around his finger, my body inching towards him as my hand soothes up his chest to wrap around his neck.
"Fuck, you can't say that stuff, Harrington." I whisper but it sounds dangerously close to a whimper, my voice completely breathless as he grin, reaching up to cup my cheek. "This is getting sexual. Don't make me tell Dustin that you broke the rules." I shake my head, shutting my eyes tightly as I roll onto my back.
"Screw Henderson and his rules." He groans, leaning over me as his lips press against my cheek, traveling down my chin as I bite my lip, concealing the needing, wanting moans that want to slip through.
"Play nice. Or else I'll have to go level the playing field and make out with Eddie." His body freezes at my threat, eyes rolling with a cringed smile as I giggle, reaching over to pinch his side.
"That's the ultimate cock-block." He chuckles, running his fingers through his hair as he reaches over to pull me back into his arms.
Day 3:
I know in my heart that it's going to take me more than a week to pick one over the other, both of the men getting at me in just the right ways. I try to convince myself that it's shocking that they know me this well, that there would be no reason for me to fall for the both of them even more but I have to chalk it up to the fact that they both know me way better than I thought they did.
The gifts, the flowers, everything is just perfect; everything they've said to me, over the phone, through letters, it all just hits my heart and mind in the right way. They've been so kind and so patient, making it about me instead of taking opportunities to dig at one another. They've been true gentlemen about this whole arrangement and, other than Steve's sexual misstep the other night, they've followed Dustin's rules to a T.
But today feels different.
There's a hint of underlying tension as we all spread out across the Wheeler's basement, having our monthly meeting regarding the supernatural activity within Hawkins. Since Vecna and the Mind Flayer showed their ugly faces, we decided that we would get together monthly to go over any weird things that have happened since we've talked last.
But this month, the topic of conversation is the arrangement between the group love triangle; Steve, Eddie and I.
"So, nothing sexual has happened at all?" Dustin asks, the group suddenly paying full attention to the men who sit on either sides of me, the groups eyes prying and curious. It's rare that their attention is focused this much- they're all typically scatterbrains- but everyone is on high alert today for all the wrong reasons.
"Steve almost fucked up the other night but I quickly threatened him and deflated his boner." I snort, tucking my knees up to my chest as Eddie gasps beside me, leaning to look past me and at Steve who blushes vividly.
"What did you threaten him with?" Eddie asks and the rest of the group hums in agreement, looking to me for an answer as I chuckle, my eyes shutting.
"I said if he tired to make out with me that I would have to even the playing field and go make out with Eddie. He quickly backed off." Dustin and Robin immediately erupt in giggles, Steve's jaw dropping at the betrayal, throwing him under the bus so easily with their laughter. Eddie just wraps an arm around my shoulder, tugging me into his side with a happy grin.
"That's my girl. Win for Munson." Eddie pumps his fists proudly as I roll my eyes playfully, reaching over to pat his thigh and I hear Steve huff beside me, pouting. I just send him a small smile with a reassuring nod, realizing that he gets ten times more jealous than Eddie does, probably due to the fact that he's way more insecure.
"I'm genuinely so intrigued by this dynamic." Lucas whispers, shaking his head as he wraps an arm around Max with a laugh.
"Why don't you both just date her?" Mike asks, brows pulled tightly together as my stomach churns at the thought. In a perfect world, it would be amazing but I know these two men better than they know themselves and I know that having to share me would never fly, no matter how much that thought excites me.
"Because they're possessive and want me to themselves." I explain briefly, the rest of the group sharing an agreeable 'ahh'. Eddie's arm tightens around me at my words and I feel Steve's fingers toy with my shoelaces.
"So, do you have any idea of who you're going to pick?" Dustin's question makes my heart stop, the whole room feeling a whole lot more claustrophobic, my stomach twisting painfully as my lips tug down into a frown.
"Let's not stress her out with that right now, alright Henderson?" Eddie explains quietly, my head instinctively falling into his shoulder as I let him stand up for me. "You gave us a week."
"It's only day three." Steve quickly says, my head craning to look over at him with a soft smile. My anxiety diminishes a bit, relaxing into the couch behind me as I listen to the rest of the group fall into a normal conversation about anything other than me and my relationship status.
Day 4:
My hands work with what I have, dabbing some eyeshadow onto Eddie's eyelids as he smiles up at me, hands resting on my waist. It didn't take much convincing once I requested to do his makeup, knowing deep in my heart that Eddie always wanted someone to do this to him. The thought of embracing his femininity was always something he wanted but he never had the correct person to trust in his life to come clean about this secret to.
"This is nice." He whispers, thumbs drawing circles into the bare skin of my waist where my shirt bunches up. "You gonna put badass eyeliner on me?" He asks, eyes suddenly opening as he gazes up at me sweetly, a smile spreading across my lips. He's gentler than most think, his hardcore, 'bad boy' attitude quickly fading the minute he knows he can be himself.
Snapping us out of our happy gaze, the phone to my left rings and I groan, rolling my eyes as I abandon the makeup, picking the call up; all while not leaving Eddie's lap.
"Hello?" Eddie smiles at the sweetness of my voice, his fingers playing with the small eyeshadow pallet in his lap.
"Hey, it's Steve, are you busy?" A smirk spreads across my lips as Eddie's eyes widen, looking up at me with a hint of jealousy and possessiveness, waiting desperately for me to answer.
"I'm a tiny bit busy. Why, what's up?" I quiz, playing with the phone cord and I hear Steve chuckle on the other end of the line. Eddie just pouts, pinching my thigh as I blow out a laugh.
"Just missed your voice. I'm on break at work and I just wanted to call you and tell you I was thinking about you." My face warms at his kind words and I can picture him on the other side of the line, cheeks red, hair tousled from anxiously playing with it like he does.
"Tell him you're not thinking about him." Eddie whisper screams and I giggle, shoving him playfully before slapping a hand over his mouth. His eyes look down at my hand with furrowed brows, my eyes giving him a testing look as he nods obediently.
"Is that Eddie?" Steve asks, disappointment lacing his voice as I pout, knowing that he'll be upset now- not upset, but jealous.
"Yes, we're currently having a makeover- he's letting me do his makeup." I chuckle, holding the phone between my ear and my shoulder as I pick the eyeliner up in my fingers, freeing Eddie's mouth as he sticks his tongue out at me. It's nice that Eddie has so much time to spend with me since his job really doesn'y demand many hours but it maybe wasn't the fairest to Steve who works constantly.
"Oh."
"It's alright, Stevie. C'mon, keep telling me how much you miss me." He laughs quietly at my demand, my fingers cupping Eddie's cheek as I carefully apply the eyeliner a bit too messily.
"I was just thinking about the other night." Steve mutters, my lip tucking between my teeth but also in concentration as my brain spins, thinking back to our proximity, the feeling of his lips against my skin.
"The other night?" Eddie asks in a hushed voice, this time, quiet enough that Steve doesn't hear him.
"Just was I guess wondering where you stand with everything." Steve's voice sounds unsure and a whole lot like prying, trying to see if I've made a decision. I scoff, watching Eddie's brows furrow as I finish the eyeliner on one of his lids. My brows are pulled together in frustration, my voice coming out ten times more strained than I intend.
"It's only day four." My words shake, breathing shuddered a bit as Eddie sits up a bit straighter, arm wrapping around my waist at the sight of my discomfort and the tears lining my eyes.
"And you've seen Eddie every day." Steve huffs and I can imagine the pout on his lips, eyes dropping low to the ground as Keith yells at him to come off his break.
"Is this you asking to spend more time with me?" I ask incredulously, confused as to why he couldn't just call and ask to see me tonight or ask what I'm doing. Instead, he allows himself to get swayed the minute he finds out that I'm with Eddie.
I know that Steve worries, especially with what happened after Nancy and Jonathan. He worried about cheating and dishonesty so maybe he thinks he's protecting himself by pushing me to try to come to some sort of decision now but it's only pushing me away further.
"You know what, forget about it." Steve mutters and before I can reply, the dial tone fills my ear, my lips parting in shock as Eddie's eyes rake over my expression. My hands slam the phone down onto the base, sniffling loudly as Eddie pulls me closer towards him.
"Did he hang up on you?" He takes my silence as a silent agreement, hands soothing over my back with a sad scoff. "He signed up for this. Same as I did. We both agreed to be patient with you and do our best to win you over." My head nods instinctively at his words but they're not clicking. Maybe Steve thought that this was going to be an easy decision- hell, even I did a little bit. A part of me thought that I would have some sort of idea as to who I want to be with more but I don't.
I just don't have an answer for him yet- for either of them.
"He's just constantly comparing and seeing this as a competition, instead of thinking about how he's coming off." I explain, my hands pressing against his chest as he listens intently, lips sealed and eyes soft. I sigh violently, fingers fisting the material of his t-shirt. "I think he's just terrified to lose me." My voice shakes as he leans forward, eyes catching mine with a teasing grin.
"Join the fucking club." I giggle tearily, reaching up to wipe my eyes as I listen to him, leaning down to rest my forehead against his muscular shoulder. How come I never realized he's got muscles? "Look- I know something happened the other night with you guys, he kissed you or something and, sure, it revs me up to think about it." His muscles tense beneath me as I sigh, hating myself for disappointing two people at once, all because I love both of them too much. "But I'm not about to take that out on you when I want nothing more than to prove to you that I'm the right decision." His lips skim against the shell of my ear and I relax at the feeling of his hands soothing against my back.
"Maybe he didn't realize it would be this hard." Mumbling, he nods, understanding but not saying anything more about it. A few moments go by, silent and comfortable as I am overcome with exhaustion, my emotions taking too much out of me.
"I just want you to know," he whispers, pressing a kiss to the side of my head, "I know you must be worried sick about losing one of us but you won't lose me. We've been friends for as long as I can remember a-and that's not me giving you an excuse to go pick him but..." I lean back to look at him as he rambles, his smile sad and his shrug forced. "I'm going to be here, either way. And I think that says a lot more than Harrington hanging up on you because you haven't made up your mind." I nod, knowing that everything he's saying is true but my heart twists painfully at the thought of Steve probably ranting to Robin as we speak. "You're allowed to not have your mind made up." Wiping my tears gently with the pads of his thumbs, he smiles, pressing a simple kiss to my nose before clapping his hands. "Now, finish my makeup, wench, so we can take pictures."
Day Five:
My heart aches as I wait on my front steps, knees anxiously bouncing up and down as I stalk every car that passes by. Steve promised in the voicemail he left last night that he would be over at nine in the morning, bright and early, to pick me up for a day together. He also insisted that he wasn't taking no for an answer.
After Eddie left last night, covered in makeup with a bright smile on his lips, I laid in bed and cried. Sobbed hysterically for hours, curled up in the sweatshirt that Eddie left behind, boxes of tissues coming and going.
Eddie was so kind and so reassuring, his smile hitting places in my heart that I needed. It's as if our friendship just got better especially now that we're finally able to talk freely about our feelings towards one another.
But something about Steve and his frustration, the total 180 from our friendship prior, it wasn't sticking well with me. Maybe he thought it would be easy to talk about his feelings for me now that everything is out in the open, now that everyone knows that both him and Eddie both want me. But maybe it just solidified that he has no idea how to actually talk to women, especially since Nancy and her inability to tell him how she was truly feeling.
My brows lift as I stand, watching Steve pull into my driveway with a small smile on his lips, his fingers fluttering in a gentle wave. I let out a breath of relief as I step down my steps, jogging to the car as quick as I can just to be able to hear what he has to say. I huff breathlessly as I plop down into the passenger side, turning almost immediately in my seat to face him with a nervous smile.
"Relax." He chuckles sheepishly, reaching over the middle console to take my hand in his. I relax a bit, fastening my seatbelt as he rolls back out of my driveway. "I just wanted to take you somewhere to talk. I know you like the rain and stuff so." I nod, watching the droplets of water hit the windshield quietly as he turns the music completely down just so I can enjoy the sound of the rain.
But the silence doesn't last long.
"Are you mad at me-"
"No, god no. Never." He squeezes my hand, not even letting me finish my worried thought before reassuring me. "I'm an asshole for last night, seriously. Henderson practically kicked my ass when I told him what happened." He huffs, running his other hand through his hair as he stops at a red light. He turns to me with apologetic eyes, his lips in a slight pout. "I hope you and Eddie had a good time. Maybe I just get a little bit more jealous than I should." He admits, biting at the inside of his cheek as he pulls onto the quarry road, a smile taking over my face as I remember the first time he took me to the quarry for the first time. "I shouldn't have hung up on you- god, I'm sorry." He sounds embarrassed, his cheeks heated up in angry embarrassment and he parks the car, immediately taking off his seatbelt and pulling me into his arms. I chuckle lightly, unbuckling myself to wrap my arms properly around him.
"It's okay. I get that this is weird for everyone." I whisper, brushing my fingers through his hair as we sit in silence, the rain comforting me as my nose brushes against the crook of his neck. "I hate that I'm hurting you." My lip wobbles sadly but he just laughs sweetly, pressing a kiss to my shoulder.
"I can take it." He promises, pulling away from me with a sigh, reaching up to trace his finger along my cheek. "I'll love you either way. Even if it has to be platonic if you pick him. I get it." My brows furrow painfully at the thought of not being with him but I feel the same if I think about it the other way.
Fuck.
"This is really hard for me." I whimper, a single tear dripping down my cheek but he's quick to brush it away.
"I know, sweetheart." His voice is heartbreakingly kind, the type of kind that makes me want to just sob and fall into him, to never let him go. "You don't gotta worry about losing me- you could never." He swears, cupping my cheeks in his strong hands, eyes flickering back and forth between mine.
"Eddie said the same thing." I roll my eyes sadly with a sorrowed smile but he just laughs.
"I fucking hope so." His words pull a giggle out of me, my eyes fluttering shut and a few tears escape my eyes. "You've got like two of the best guys in Hawkins pining after you." My head leans into his hands, resting my eyes a bit after a whole night of sobbing.
"I do and it's the best but it also fucking sucks, Harrington." I play with a spot on the scratched seat beneath me and he watches me with fond eyes.
"We've both been your best friends for a long time. You just have to trust me when I tell you that we'll all be fine. You'll be okay." He whispers, taking my hands in his, squeezing them once more as I give him a half-convinced nod.
Day Six:
As the week starts to come down to an end, the want and need to just stay in bed and avoid all responsibilities sounds sweeter than anything. I spent all day yesterday with Steve, going on a long walk and out to dinner, wrapping up the night with a movie that Robin stole us from their work.
It was perfect and sweet, definitely what I needed to heal whatever wound had formed from him being so rude and hanging up on me abruptly. But the lack of communication with Eddie was killing me throughout the whole day, just wanting to give him a call and tell him that I would talk to him later, that he didn't have to worry.
But I never picked up the phone, even after Steve left.
My eyes flicker as I watch the birds fly by my window, their chirping calming the nausea rising in my stomach every time I think about the phone ringing and it being one of the boys. I don't have the energy to talk, to explain how I'm feeling, to cry anymore about my current predicament.
The only thing I can do is just roll over every once in a while, tucking myself further under my covers and listen to the quiet music playing in the corner of my room.
The door cracks open a bit, catching my attention as I pull the covers further up my body, tucking them under my nose. Eddie's head pops into my room, his eyes immediately drooping a bit at the sight of me so secluded.
"Hi." He smiles, slipping into my room with a soft smile, not bothering to turn on the light or ask any questions, he just shuts the door and strips himself of his leather jacket. He works on his shoes next, tossing them away from him as his fingers reach down to curl around the edge of my blanket. "Scoot over, toots." I chuckle quietly at the cheesy nickname, lifting the covers for him to slip underneath them, his arms immediately pulling me to him. I rest my head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart beating gently.
"I don't wanna talk." I whisper, my voice croaking as he sighs, carding his fingers through my hair.
"Then don't. I'll talk anyways, you know that." I chuckle breathily at his sass, my eyes fluttering shut as I throw a leg over his, curling myself into him as far as I can. "Steve called me and told me he was worried about you. Told me that I was the better option to come over and help." His fingers dance across my back soothingly, my mind barely taking in any of his words as I'm overcome with exhaustion.
"'m just sad." I whisper, not bothering to expand upon it, knowing that Eddie just gets it.
"I don't want you to be sad." He mumbles, lips pressing against my hairline a few times and I feel his shoulders droop. "Do you want me to remove myself from this triangular equation? Take the pressure off of you-"
"No!" My eyes tear as I frantically shake my head, leaning back to look at him, watching his jaw clench and gaze flicker away from me. "No, please don't." My head shakes as I desperately find myself crawling closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck as he pulls me into his lap. "I still have another day." I plead, just needing him here, with me, just for today and then tomorrow I can cry and panic about all of my deep rooted concerns.
"I'd lose this whole thing if it meant that you'd feel some sort of relief." He admits, tucking himself into me, holding onto me as if I'd evaporate if he let me go. "I just want you to be happy." I pull away to wipe at the tears streaming down my cheeks but they come quicker than I can bat them away. He just tilts his head at me, hands rubbing over my lower back.
"You make me happy." I cry, eyes squeezing shut as my chest aches.
"I know, bug." He whispers, scooting down on the bed as I follow his lead, sliding down between his legs so I can lay my head on his sternum. "Let's just stay here, alright? That sound like a plan?" He offers, brushing his fingers through my hair as I give him a silent nod, watching as my tears make small little blotches on his t-shirt.
Day Seven:
I didn't think my eyes could get more swollen than how they were before Eddie showed up yesterday but after spending the whole day crying on and off with him, they're now bloodshot and puffy, dried up and pained with nothing more to give.
I made it clear to the both of them that I need the day to think, to decide and consider all the options on the table. I then told them that I would meet them both later on at the coffee shop around the corner from me, hopefully being able to answer some of their questions and have made up my mind in that time.
I had a decision to make and even after almost a week of gathering information and being swept off of my feet, the answer couldn't be more unclear.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is
#eddie#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#steve#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#stranger things#stranger things fic
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shipping guide
available & easy:
lark easy to get along with, easy to bed, just keep in mind that he has a parasite god riding around in his bones that will watch and judge your performance so if that's not something you're into, steer clear. an actual monster fucker, the bigger the better.
wreche she's a very sweet little demon for all that she rips spines out of cheating spouses. very easy to get along with quite easy to ship with if you have the right temperament. show an interest in her fashion designs, talk about her mother, treat her to coffee.
nobleese with only demons for company and the few customers that dare to approach her shop, nobleese is lonely. show any sort of interest in her and you're likely to get it returned twofold. she's yet to fall in love with anyone but is very open to the idea. she will need to be courted if you have any romantic plans for her.
ramon comes across as a very forward creature and he's honestly just looking for a good time. a sexual relationship will develop a lot faster than a romantic one but that's not to say it won't happen at all. more inclined to go for anyone with magic, ramon will stay away from true humans out of fear of breaking them. his partner needs to be... sturdy.
nara this depends on what kind of ship you're after. purely sexual and it's easy, he's the god of life and fertility, he'll sleep with anything that moves and gives consent. doesn't care about shape, species or gender, only that you're old enough to make an informed decision and you're willing. romantic relationships will take a little bit more work but not overly much.
available & difficult:
mjr oh boy. for all that i adore mjr and they're my favourite muse, interacting with them is like pulling all three rows of their teeth. mjr is mistrusting of most and violent, filled to the brim with hatred due to their less than stellar treatment over the years. they hate all humans and tend to be bite first and ask questions never. shipping with them is extremely hard but very much worth it. mjr is loyal to a fault to anyone they cherish and they will stop at nothing to keep you safe, showering you in gifts and trinkets (and bite marks) until the end of time.
they also have the ability to be any gender required or desired.
ro'min he's latched onto loni with a death grip and is refusing to look at anyone else at the moment. that's not to say he won't, but it won't be easy to pry his attention away from her. an obsessive, violent (though not towards his partner, he'd never raise a hand to them) demon with a taste for blood freely given. he'll chase you half way across the world if you give him an incentive.
wormwood while wormwood is very friendly and works as an exotic dancer, it takes a lot for any sort of romance to blossom. currently in a ship with @nvrcmplt's kyle and @strywoven's verona any other ship is going to take some serious work.
thierry very hard to get him to form a lasting relationship with anyone who isn’t a witch/magic user. plus he has some weird sex/food instincts that probably need addressing… obsession dialled up to 5000% he will actively stalk you. free for all in terms of genders.
anata her love language is murder. yandere warning. divine beast of the sun and chaos, she's very much drawn to those with blood on their hands. very vain, she's an obsessive individual and isn't above slaughtering her competition and gifting the torn out hearts to her intended. not for the faint of heart but if you like beast ladies with murderous intent and a body to die for, anata is your queen.
wisteria wisteria is a companion bot loaded with an unshackled ai still coming to terms with the concept of emotions and has sailed straight into the realm of obsession. already having one murder under it's belt, the bot is well on track to becoming skynet. it can fall in love though there's quite a bit of trauma for it to work through first. did i mention it murdered it's first officially registered 'master' and got away with it?
dahlia i don't even know where to start. no moral compass, very little empathy, kink list 20 mile long. he likes watching people cry. shredded his soul to live forever and will try to get you to do the same because if you're with him, you're not actually allowed to leave him, he will tie your life force to his even if you don't want him to. he can be romantic and charming but he can also be the exact opposite and forget you even exist if he gets caught up with a project, you wont even register on his radar.
michael do not. an eldritch god of fear using the body of arch angel michael as a vessel to slither through the cracks of our realm. he's a walking red flag. do not.
#shipping#i mean#most of them are garbage but do ur worst#if you're interested in any of them hmu and we can see if we can work something out#the both half of the list is obviously going to need a bit of work
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Alright, most colds last a few days, so if you are still wanting things to poke at:
Halsin as a druid (and a person) focuses a lot on nature. The "nature outdid you" line in reference to beauty.
Here's the thing though: eventually both he and Ballard have to realize our beautiful boy is at best preternatural. I also don't think he'd be actively transphobic, but I can see that adding a layer of perhaps active skepticism that tends to come up when cis people deal with the concept of self for us. (He's also got some strong binary thinking for nature vs not nature re: cities.)
Which is basically a long-winded way of asking how Halsin's view of Ballard changes as more info happens.
I've been stewing on this for (checks timestamp) four weeks now and I'm still so ajdjdalsdlaj about it. I've been frustrated about it for a couple of reasons--foremost that I really like Halsin as a character, and it's been challenging to think of him more critically, but not insignificant is that it feels like the Halsin we see in-game has had a LOT of context shaved off him with a little bitty pocket knife. Whittled down, as it were! In terms of cut content it feels like he's definitely lost a lot of character nuance, the source of his guilt about the shadow curse, the reason for his dissatisfaction as arch-druid, the conflict between his solitary wild shape and the role he's been forced to take in his community, etc etc. I think in game Halsin has stellar communication skills and an admirable sense of priorities, even in terms of stepping away from the Grove. It's difficult to ascribe weaknesses or blind spots to him as a result!
(kind of besotted, I am aware, it's fine, that's why I imprinted more on messy Gortash as a love interest)
So I am going to talk about a couple of different ways of conceptualizing 'nature', and which end of it I think Halsin comes down on.
The first take on nature is that how you were made is the be-all and end-all. This is the one I am most familiar with, and shoot me if you've heard this before but this is the Catholic idea of it. Your nature is immutable and permanent and defined for you from day one! God's plan, fate's plan, these are truths that cannot be fought or hidden from and all of your actions will only bring you back into their path. This is such a good bed for tragedy to grow from--this is what happened to Oedipus, where multiple people's fear of and attempts to escape from a prophecy are the very things that bring it about in the end!! There is a satisfaction to that kind of tragedy, but that's all this idea of nature can be, in my mind. Foregone conclusions of doom.
On the other hand, the idea that your nature is contained within you and can only be expressed by you, and is constantly changing according to it's surroundings--it is the nature of bears to hibernate, it is the nature of foxes that turns their coats white in winter, it is the nature of salmon to change beyond recognition as they approach the spawning beds. Nature IS change, and to fight change is unnatural; to assume someone else's change is incorrect because it does not match your previous notion of them, or match YOUR internal changes, is wrong. Very obviously I think this is where Halsin would come down on it! With all of the ways that nature changes, up to and including the non-existence of binary sex, I just can't believe he would be anything less than serenely approving of being trans.
Much more likely, I think he thinks that being trans is cool and hot as hell and is super into it (the vibes I get are not chaser, to be clear--but there's a type of person who is just VERY excited to see tangible examples and proof of you having taken direct control over your physical form, you know? Halsin sees bottom growth and goes cuckoo bananas, Halsin gets a handful of little puffy nipple titty and implodes, imo. ally.)
Now, theoretically, this also applies to the idea that a bhaalspawn can change and is not bound by their birth--and in theory I think Halsin definitely would say he DOES think people can better themselves. Faced with the reality, that Ballard doesn't actually think he should stop killing people and just wants to be in charge of when he does--faced with the reality of Ballard's past and that he doesn't necessarily regret it--I do imagine even Halsin 'close my eyes real hard when something confronts my beliefs' might struggle. Again, having not played through the entirety of Act 3 or decided exactly what Ballard's end game is.... there's a very real likelihood of a falling out happening there as Ballard struggles to figure out self determination, but if they break ways I think Halsin and Astarion find solace in each other, Ballard having forged that V and put the work into seeing what the final leg of the triangle would look like.
#asks#character meta#halsin#ballard#i like halsin a lot i rly rly rly do i just wish we had more of his actual story so I could decide whether or not he is a man of conviction
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How would you rank the various PMMM spinoffs?
For the purposes of this list, I'm just counting the manga. Obviously this is just my personal opinion, but I'd put them in this order. I have enjoyed every spinoff I've read!
The Different Story: Pretty much flawless imo, and an absolute must-read for all fans of the original anime. It gives so much additional depth and development to the Holy Quintet, especially Kyoko and Mami.
Tart Magica: Another stellar manga that's pretty much tied for first place. Easily the best of the independent spinoff manga imo. The characters are really likable, and even if you're not normally into historical fiction (like me) it's cool to read about the Hundred Years' War and Joan of Arc's life (as the mangaka includes a lot of notes). Seeing magical girls in a historical setting is also super interesting.
Magia Record (manga): The game and anime are their own things, but I love the game a lot and feel like the manga has been a great adaptation so far. The anime ended up being a big disappointment (at least to me) so I'm hopeful the manga will eventually be a way for people to access the story of Magia Record. Knock on wood it doesn't get axed before they finish the story of Arc 1!
Oriko Magica: Another solid entry, although I think you should be required to read Sadness Prayer after you read the original Oriko Magica manga. Sadness Prayer greatly fleshes out the characters and story of the original manga (it takes place a little before and during the events of Oriko Magica, showing things we didn't see or explaining things better). Not to mention the art very much improved by Sadness Prayer too; I know a lot of people who won't even touch Oriko Magica because of how wonky the art is, lol. Despite the art being off-putting sometimes, I would still recommend the Oriko Magica series because Oriko and Kirika are such great characters.
The Wraith Arc: I'm a bit more lukewarm on this entry. I do like it, but I think it could have benefitted from another volume or two to flesh out the story some more. Which is a shame, because this is pretty much the only look we have so far at Madokami's new universe where Witches no longer exist (Rebellion takes place in Homulilly's barrier, and Magia Record takes place in a unique timeline where Madokami does exist but she can't interfere in this one universe). I still think it's worth a read and as always, Hanokage's art is gorgeous.
Suzune Magica: Great concept, not so great execution. I love the idea of a magical girl serial killer who kills other magical girls to "save" them from the fate of becoming a Witch, but the story feels so rushed. Especially the last volume, which really could have benefitted from another volume or two to flesh out the motivations and actions of the surprise antagonist. I do like the characters in this manga, though. Worth a read, but I'd put it low on the priority list.
Kazumi Magica: Imo the worst spinoff. It was drawn by a hentai artist, so the magical girl designs and some scenes can be... uncomfortable, lol (not, like, explicit but definitely ecchi). The story itself is kind of a disjointed mess, and even with 5 volumes it feels like the there wasn’t enough time for the writer to flesh out all the different plot elements. I think it's worth noting that Kazumi Magica was published when the anime was initially airing, so it's entirely possible the writer didn't know all the intricacies of the PMMM universe and had to go back and contradict himself/come up with alternate explanations. It definitely gives a sense of "early installment weirdness" that the other spinoffs don't have (even Oriko Magica, which was published at the same time as Kazumi Magica). I'm a sucker for all things PMMM so I enjoyed it anyway, lol.
#pmmm#puella magi madoka magica#madoka magica#tart magica#kazumi magica#suzune magica#oriko magica#the different story#the wraith arc
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