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#I cant keep up w it anymore
kidrunaway · 21 days
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how do I deal with stress from school
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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beegswaz · 3 months
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i love the worst women you have Ever met
this is just smth i did for Fun to try and iron out a face design for her :p i love rattlesnake scythe but i raise you. king cobra Scythe. consider it.
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levmada · 6 months
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levi with stretchmarks levi with stretchmarks levi with stretchmarks levi with stretchmarks levi with stretchmarks levi with stretc
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average-hua-cheng-fan · 7 months
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it's actually so important to me that in the memory loss extras xie lian finds out he doesn't have spiritual power anymore (because he's been having sex). it means
he feels comfortable relying on hua cheng
he's able to be 'selfish', and choose what he wants rather than what other people think is correct
he's free from the responsibility of being the most powerful martial god in heaven
he's getting thoroughly dicked down
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disgustinggf · 10 months
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How’s your quest for love going? Not that a whore is worth loving but you’ve already found that out multiple times lmao. You’re about as loveable as a used condom, no wonder your father hates you and always did.
aw look who's back! actually i'm good i wasn't looking for love or anything in the first place but i am seeing someone thank u for asking :] and my father doesn't hate me btw it's me who hates him but keep projecting sweetheart :]
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grvntld · 25 days
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i know it has been a while but i hv to let this out—my gosh im not ready for this pain jusq why naman kailangan mamatay yung grandpa sa story tapos bAkeht kaya talagang binasa ko pa every detail nung struggle sa ospital like?¿?¿?¿ why am i putting myself through this pain?¿?¿¿
#it's just all too familiar my gawd#im bawlin' my eyes out u gOise#my mind kept coming back to my days with gramps in the hospital and all the days leading to his death#ang sakeht pota#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i dont talk abt this that much anymore but honestly his passing is still so fresh to me#sometimes there is a split second in my brain na nalilimutan kong he is dead na like sasabihin ko#hmmm i miss gramps perhaps i should sched a visit sa house niya tapos iniimagine ko na na maaabutan ko#siya sa office table niya with all his files and pc and typewriter bc he was a lawyer—a great lawyer#and then theres just a voice in my head na magsasabing hey ains i think u forgot abt the part na he is dead na#like?¿?¿?¿??¿?¿?¿???? BAKEHT GANITEZ#ang strange kasi im vvv familiar with grief naman like i grew up with it pero until now im just sooooo ugh w it at times ykwim#ang taxing kasi basta ewan#need ko lang ilabas talaga kasi ang sikip na ng dibdib ko hayup#ay tapos i cant keep my mind off sa time na i had a flight to el nido tapos i was in my room sa maternal side of my fam#i was begging big g to not take gramps while i was away bc i dont think i will be able to carry myself well#so yung werq trip ko na yun sa el nido i was just completely zoning out at times#nag-iinterview ako tapos sobrang lutang i dont even know paano ko naitawid talking to the french chef huhuhuhuhu#okie enough na kasi iiyak lang ako nang iiyak nanaman#mwAps#hello how hv u guys been#sobra busy kaloka#sa ig kasi talaga ako nagdadaldal na hahahahahhahahahaha#kaya wala ako here matagal#bat may pag explain lol cnu ka ba CHARENG AHAHAHHAHAHA#donut
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wabblebees · 10 months
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im like if the most useless boytoy twink was also an incredibly handy butch lesbian
#this post is about me collapsing as soon as i got home from work#where i used a garden hoe i sharpened myself to hack down+tear out a truly impressive thistle 3× my size while 3 of my coworkers watched#swung it overhead like an axe until the centre stalk (almost the size of my wrist) was felled. then hoed around it until the roots came free#& i could grab it with my hands where there werent any thorns. turned around and all 3 of em were lookin at me like 😳😳 lmao#but now im sitting in my bathtub bc i cant stand long enough to shower anymore hdksgsk#knew this morning it was a bad pain day but pushed thru it anyway bc!! there was work to do!! but now im gonna be totally useless for 24hrs#cest la vie i suppose#after the thistle was properly disposed of just kept tilling+weeding+fixin tomato cages in the fields. came home & felt sooo dykey+hot lmfao#was like ''fuck yeah man idk what was up with me this morning im feelin fine now! great even!''#then took my knee braces off to get into the shower & almost busted my ass on the tile when both of em gave out🤦#my shoulders are now reminding me that i Dont Have the muscle mass to use a bigass hoe like anything but a hoe w/out Paying For It later#its a good thing i have the day off tomorrow bc im going to turn into a slug as soon as im done steaming meself like a little dumpling#definitely thinkin about using my pathetic-wet-cat-charm to get someone to bring me food tonight tho... hmm#anyway. wheres that post#''im not a butch but i believe their beliefs''#its my exectution thats lacking lmao. but in any case#mwah. mwah mwah mwah#<-for all the butches out there. ily tysm youre wonderful#and to all the useless boytoy twinks out there: o7 <3#godspeed fellow hopeless fags. ily too. keep doin what yr doin lmao#bee speaks
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biillys · 2 years
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love the idea of billy being able to approach anyone at school and it just being accepted. him not necessarily being apart of the popular crowd but anytime he chooses to grace them with his presence, they're all over him, offering him a seat and the latest hottest gossip. him talking to some nerd in class, asking for a pen becos he doesn't believe in bringing his own school supplies, and said nerd internally rolling their eyes but still handing over a pen. him talking to the drama kids, asking where they got that sick as fuck leather jacket for their musical, getting confused and lowkey alarmed looks but still an answer.
love the idea of there being only a select few people that can approach him and have him actually respond and acknowledge them, everyone else not even getting a glance.
eddie being one of them.
eddie and billy seeming to become eddie and billy overnight, like one day they were strangers and the next they were basically inseparable.
eddie walking up behind billy in the hallway and swinging an arm over his shoulder, fucking with his hair, before dumping half the shit he was carrying in billy’s basically unused satchel. billy giving him a what the fuck look but still holding it open for him, and eddie rolling his eyes and saying it was fucking empty anyway, billy shoving his satchel onto eddie's shoulder cos he’s not carrying around eddie's shit for him all day.
eddie being able to lean against billy's car, jump in the passenger seat without an invitation or even a comment, cos billy does the same thing to eddie's van just as often.
they have one class together, and their teacher’s given up on separating them, cos eddie’s just gonna talk to billy from across the room anyway, and billy’s gonna throw notes back to him, ripping up the piece of paper he borrowed from the guy beside him and throwing them at eddie's hair.
they have fun in detention together.
heathers another one.
they’re coworkers, yeah, but heather was probably the first person that billy ever truly gave a shit about in this shithole of a town. heathers been a cheerleader since becoming a cheerleader was an option, but somehow, like billy these days, always seems to just do her own thing.
she can sit on billy’s lap at lunch if they both bother with the cafeteria and the most billy will do is wrap an arm around her waist and move around 'til their more comfortable.
she can go through his shit to find his car keys to make a quick run to his car at lunch to find some spare hairbands and bobby-pins cos her’s broke and billy’s got spare shit everywhere in his car ever since he basically started being everyone’s personal chauffeur.
she can drag his notes across and copy everything he's written cos she was too busy texting chrissy under the table to pay attention and the most billy will do is ask what the plans were for that night. his notes half the time are basically illegible but billy's more or less somehow got mostly straight A's so heather'll take it.
sometimes she wears his jacket. rips him off about the lip stain. billy tells her to do a better one since she gives so much of a fuck.
chrissy joins billy’s inner-circle slowly, then instantly.
billy knows of her, has probably even spoke to her, but it’s not until they meet in eddie's trailer and all smoke up together - eddie and billy fucking around on eddie's guitars, heather with her feet swung over the back of the couch, chrissy sitting tense on the single armchair before slowly loosening up - that billy feels like he actually meets her.
suddenly, she’s pulling away from jason, from the other basketball players, from all her cheer friends, and slowly she’s hanging out with heather under the bleachers, she’s meeting up with eddie in the woods, and she’s waiting around the camaro at the end of the day to catch a ride home.
suddenly billy’s waiting around after basketball/cheer practice until chrissy’s ready to leave, cos jason's been talking a lot of shit lately, and billy doesn’t really think he’s got it in him to do something reckless, but he’s also not stupid enough to underestimate a guy like jason carver.
chrissy getting nervous when she sees jason loitering around but then she sees billy waiting just behind him, and she’s feeling brave suddenly, so she practically dances her way over to billy, grabs his hand before leaning into his side, and billy’s leaning right back and dropping her hand so he can wrap his arm around her shoulder, and she leaves without looking back. billy flips jason the bird over his shoulder.
max, obviously, when she starts going to the same high school. they’ve spent the previous summer working so much shit out, and it doesn’t mean they’re not still at each others throats over the stupidest shit, but it does mean that when billy bitches about having to wait around after her stupid nerd clubs, he does it without that much heat, and when max bitches about having to deal with the fact that every single person and teacher in this damn school has an opinion on her just becos she’s billy hargrove’s little sister, she sometimes sounds kind of proud to have that label. most of the time, she’s just annoyed.
max sometimes shoves her shit in billy’s locker, becos her locker’s full of dustin’s science shit, and sometimes when she’s carrying her board around at the end of the day, billy’ll come up behind her and smack it out of her grasp before skating down the hallway. she always feels vindicated when billy gets caught though, cos she never does. 
shaking billy down for lunch money, cos susan seems to think max actually likes tunafish sandwiches, when she rly truly fucking hates them. billy usually telling her to fucking scram, but occasionally giving in and passing her some change.
max sometimes tracking him down at the start of her lunch period and holding a hand out for his car keys, a pissed off look on his face, and billy takes one look behind he to see her lil gang looking all shifty, and billy - having been on the receiving end of her attitude fucking constantly in the past - just sighing before handing his keys over. more often than not, trailing behind her, even when she tells him to fuck off, just throwing a shit eating grin her way with an aww, so little maxine can have a pity party for one? fuck no. what'd the fuckers do this time?
lucas, becos he’s max’s boyfriend, and also becos he’s on the team, and he seems to be sneaking over every other weekend, and things may still be rocky between them, but since billy make his apology, they’ve been getting better. they’re not exactly besties, but sometimes they play a one on one game after practice ends and no one’s in a rush to get home, and most times lucas will win becos he’s honestly just better than billy at basketball, and each time billy will ask for best out of three, then best out of five, cos he fucking sucks at losing.
when jason and some of the other basketball dickheads start trying to drag lucas in, pulling their fake shit only to split whenever it’s convenient, billy just watches on before rolling his eyes and pulling lucas’ gear closer to his in the locker room and gives him the worlds shittest pep talk. jason carver ain’t shit, trust me. fuck that guy.
carol! and tommy! except billy’s a dick and he thinks it’s funny to fuck with tommy, so when carol comes up to him and catches him up to date with the latest wild happenings from the party he couldn’t be fucked to attend the night before, crashing at eddie’s with the others instead, and tommy tries to go in for a simple bro-handshake, billy gives him a blank stare and holds his hand out limply, not participating, watches the look on tommy’s face go from excited to confused, before finally grabbing him by the hand and pulling him close, hand on his shoulder, ‘i’m fucking with you’, then doing the stupid bro-shake thing. tommy laughing it off but turning to carol with wide eyes, every fucking time, like ‘shit, are we cool? are we friends?’ and carol just patting him on the shoulder before tucking herself into his side, all ‘yeah, babe, you're good.’
#anyway au where when billy first rolled into town; he truly did feel the need to like. make himself big. surround himself with crowds#fit in with the popular kids. attend every party. but then s3 happened#or like the non-upsidedown version but still a major critical life changing event. and when hes as healed as hes gonna get#and finally standing on his own two feet; trying to get his life back on track#he just. cant be fucked with keeping up appearances anymore. fuck being basketball captain fuck being the keg king fuck being That Guy#instead all he needs is his sister and his few people. that's literally all that matters.#anyway i think its be FUN if eddie can't understand shit in class so he's like 'billy what the fucks this mean'#but the teacher DID separate them so billy - from the literal other side of class - tries to explain it in terms eddie will click with#much to the teachers surprise; eddies grades actually improve#also. heather and chrissy wearing the guys jackets. its THAT simple#but also consider: chrissy wearing eddies jacket but eddies kinda chilly so billy offers him his leather jacket#that happens to be in the car. while heathers got his denim one. and billys just walking around in sleeves in a hawkins winter like a tool#max gives him SO much shit#also billy tommy and carol is like. billy was Faking it Til he Could Make it when he first met them so he keeps them at a distance#but then when he's in hospital and recovering; before eddie and chrissy are rly on his radar#and its just max and heather sitting by his side; tommy and carol come through#they're the only ones from billys Friend Group that reach out and visit; that check in; that fucking care#so when billy does stroll back into school. he just - walks straight pass jason and all his fake ass sympathies; straight past the girls#that use to hang all over him; gives tommy and carol a two finger salute as he walks by but completely ignores everyone else#and meets up w heather at his locker#m#nqff
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dockaspbrak · 6 months
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what the hell
#ok not to be rude but#i sort of cant handle the depression perhaps anymore like it is unending#i dont understand why god cant just give me theability to reanimate the dead or perhaps just do it himself#i miss the little guy i kind of dont know what to even do#i feel stupid bc i feel like its like....people dont really perhaps i just dont think people are that cool about talking abt grief#esp about pets..like#i feel silly for being so depressed but i also cant perhaps handle it#the self loathing is really hitting a peak this week idk like#where do ie ven go from here is my thought i guess i dont really want to be alive or do anything i just miss him so much#he was so sweet and small#i keep getting served videos about like senior 20 yr old cats being surrendered to shelters and like#im so mad like id do anything to have gotten 2 more years with him wht the fuck are you giving them up for#what the hell#its frustrating because ir eally dont want to be comforted or even spoken to about this im just like mad#mad and bargaining clearly i forget what stages those are#depressed yet pissed off also like what the fuck did he do to deserve this it was so fucking fast#cherish your fucking pets. treasure every fucking day#ugh#maybe ill try a different kind of eating again for awhile tbh lets see what thats like in the new context of living w regan#its hard bc its human nature to criticize and correct i think so its hard to feel like i have the space to do what i want? bc of that....#idk idk
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potatobugz · 2 years
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opening untitled google doc #7592 so I can attempt to write something again but ultimately never finish it
#rambles#but ill keep doing it bc. if i dont write i will never learn#i had another homestuck scenario i wanted to write but you see i only have an idea for one specific part#and i have 0 writing experience so i cant write it that well if i dont have a good udea 4 what i want to happen#anyways the premise is that feferi ascends to god tier (more like cod tier) after eridan kills her#& she revives nepeta and equius. the rest of the trolls r like hesitant to revive eridan right away#but feferi goes ahead and revives him anyway bc she has very conflicting feelings & shes like 'i just wanna talk 2 him 38('#ofc this backfires#eridan waking up & immediately assuming the worst; freaks out and runs away from her cuz he thinks shes gonna [krill] him again#(fish pun bc i saw the opportunity and couldn't resist)#then he runs into kanaya and freaks out EVEN MORE and then attempts to run down stairs & trips on his dumb scarf (affectionate)#and falls down a flight of stairs#ive had that specific scenario in my mind for like a few days now!!! and ive been dying to put it down somewhere!! augh#other cincepts i havent fleshed out include: eridan hiding from everyone on the meteor. eridan and gamzee alliance maybe.#some exploration on how kanaya feels abt this bc i feel like kanaya is always portrayed as angry at eridan but ppl forget WHY shes angry!!!#shes *greiving*. the matriorb was like the hope for their entire race & she was tasked 2 protect it and it got destroyed#its very sad to me. murderstuck as a whole is tragic 2 me because theyre all children and i dont think any of them shoulda died#idk i hope that makes sense#um also eridan putting themself in a cycle of 'not evil anymore i want to be loved now. evil again' cuz#characters who destroy their relationships w others over and over again mean everything to me. self destructive characters my beloved#and also everyone who was revived makes it to the alpha session so eridan and roxy friendship can thrive <3 (i am ill)#and also eridan transgender arc is mandatory sorry#wow i am sorry 4 talking so much down here ive been DYING 2 get this idea out but like#i cant ramble normally in posts i have to do it in the tags or i get self conscious otherwise agh#feel free to add onto this if youd like i think#homestuck#oh also maybe nonbinary roxy too maybe bc i really like nb roxy headcanon and also t4t pale eriroxy so wonderful
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carcarrot · 9 months
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thats it im going to go laser mode
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devilofthepit · 1 year
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WHY THE FUCK DID WATERPARKS REQUEST TO FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM
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satellitedyke · 1 year
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graduating college tomorrow 👍
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catchmewjsn · 6 months
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#honestly they moved me to a different office right now so im not alone in my place anymore and tbh i should not be complaining bc at least#this one gets warn fast and im not in the open first to call usually and all but idk i feel like an intruder there and miss having lots of#place and the fact noone seen my screen etc and just overall i would prefer sitting next to the guys but also 😶 idk i just dont like anyone#hearing my phone calls etc and also i fucked up at work today BADLY but noone knows yet and this sounds like i fuck up a lot but i always#called the smaller mistakes this too i guess shskd also i almsof argued with a man who's our client on the phone but for gods sake i do know#i am right and idk if he's making me feel stupid or something or is he using one of my mistakes for his own good idk idk idk it will be a#nightmare to make this work now#and also we are having some kind of meeting with food etc tomorrow in the office upstairs but also rhe atmosphere is so not it and dudes not#at work tomorrow and he should be the one in there and like idk it all works like a fucked up chaos i also almost argued with the d irector#today bc of this lmao almost on dude's behalf bc tht waa the situation that pissed me off first#and i got to walk or catch a bus home tomorrow and like my mind does work so fast and keeps overthinking lately 😕#walking isnt the best best for me tbh#also i made plans with my friend and i do hope i open to her during the weekend bc i want to talk about everything so badly but at the same#time idk like i cant talk about personal things anymore (except here) she doesn't know what is making w suffer 😔#i think i made a decision about monday tho not the best one but both were bad so at least here i am...#anyone i am still helpless and that's what the sentence will end at bc i don't want to say the same thing again and again and again#anywya i have to delete this bc its too much details soon
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ozlices · 6 months
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as a person w so goddamn much medical trauma the thought of having to go through the process to find a new doctor that is not just simply compatible w me, but who is also, like. u know. an actually nice, understanding person who will put genuine effort into taking proper care of me is so taxing. like i wish it was a simpler process, but it's not. bc i gotta deal w the very real possibility that by having to go through this process, my medical trauma will be worsened even further. & it is already bad enough that i have panic attacks every time i have to go to any sort of medical facility.
im literally so fucking furious over how much this happens. & that there's no fucking consequence for doing it to a Human Being. for tossing a Human Being that needs medical care aside like a piece of fucking trash. the american healthcare system is such a stupid fucking joke.
#mine#and it sucks bc tbh im at a point where i rly wish i could say 'fuck it' & just. not bother.#but i dont have a choice bc im on daily medications that i cant abruptly stop & Have to take to function#like i literally dont even know how to like. deal w processing the doctor my family has had for potentially decades just dropping me#outta nowhere. like damn i literally cant even trust the doctor literally my entire immediate family has seen for YEARS#to fucking give a shit abt me.#ive been through such an absurd amount of betrayals this year i literally feel like a broken shell of a person#im numbing. i really fucking am. what the fuck else am i sposed to do.#like... literally i feel so nauseous over this shit.#no warning. no head's up. just 'oh btw we're not treating [them] anymore.'#like ?????????????????#bruh this year has fucking brutalized my dissociation. i literally dont feel like a real person w feelings anymore.#bc ive just been treated like a piece of shit that's an inconvenience & a burden & worth more effort than i deserve to be granted.#it's so... just... idk. man. i dont even have it in me to be sad or hurt anymore#im just so fucking burnt out & exhausted. ive been wallowing in merciless agony since i had to move back in w my parents#i am genuinely BARELY surviving at this point & Still shit just Keeps Piling On.#i literally dont know what to do w myself anymore. im trying as hard as i fucking can but holy fucking shit.#i already have way less energy to spare than the average person bruh. it's ridiculous#im sick of being told it'll be ok. im sick of being told ppl feel sorry for me.#im sick of complaining. im sick of being miserable. im sick of feeling like this.#i just want to be done w all the hardships im so fucking exhausted i dont wanna be a person anymore man.#also like. v fucking taxing bc not every doctor can nor will prescribe my adhd meds.#so. like. that's also terrifying. nauseating to deal with.#i literally just want to give up bruh and not even in a suicidal way like i just am so sick of trying for nothing#i could do nothing at all and still be put through bullshit im over it all im so fucking over it.#never in my life has being told 'it'll be ok' felt more dismissive than it does this year but my god. does it feel so dismissive & taxing.#ive literally never not been more not okay than i have been this year. & i continuously get more brutalized no matter what.#it's exhausting as shit just let me fucking breathe what the fuck jfc.
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