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#I cannot escape the fact that the world doesn't want me in it
astralazuli · 28 days
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I need new undergarments. Which is like. My personal hell as a fat enby with sensory issues & slightly hindered mobility. Spent some time today digging through page after page of google search trying to find something &...
Look, I'm just saying. Whoever keeps deciding to list their brands as "size inclusive" & "plus size" when their largest size is a women's 14?
I think fat people should be allowed to hunt them for sport.
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robinsnest2111 · 4 months
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just listened to penny lane for the first time in years and for a moment I was a young teen again, chest deep in my beatles phase, I know it's hella cringe but the beatles were my happy place at the time, my comfort in a shitty inescapable environment
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morphone · 2 years
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⚗️
#... Worst case scenario‚ if this doesn't work?#Truly?#I can almost guarantee that my body cannot handle much more of what I'm doing to it.#Might not be as painless as what I'm doing now - where... endless opioids‚ sedatives‚ and other pain killers+alcohol+depressants are.#Very. very available.#But. Ultimately?#With how poor my health is... and how much abuse I put it through.#There isn't much time left‚ I don't think.#I just. I'm tired‚ y'know? God... I am tired. So... so‚ so very tired.#More than anything. With how. Truly alone I am. With how I've never experienced... warmth. happiness. joy.#The pain of declining health is worth the fact that I can finally escape this shit.#I don't like to. Be Vulnerable. to vent in this way.#But... more than anything? I. I really... want to leave behind traces of my shitty existence. I want some piece of me to remain online‚—#— after I die. That. somewhere‚ in the history of Every Tumblr And Vent Post‚ I existed in the data. My words... existed‚ here.#Even after I die. I'll have. some part of me remaining. That. maybe. after I'm dead‚ someone will know that I once existed.#That I lived in isolation. That I turned out this way due to a lifetime of nothing but torture and suffering.#I can't imagine that I'll ever have that happen‚ in reality. I'm aware that I'll be alone‚ even in death‚ for eternity.#But it's a comforting lie that helps. especially when I'm in a situation like this.#When I'm… Alone. When I've lost all hope of anything ever getting even the slightest bit better. The lie of existing in death is comforting.#The lie that. maybe. just maybe‚ in death‚ I'll have. someone. someone in this world think of me‚ when I'm decaying endlessly.#It's a harmless lie.#I'm alone. I will always be alone. I will never escape this solitude unless I finally die and there will never be a soul that knew of this—#shit life.#Hilarious. hilarious how such atrocities that have been committed against this body go unpunished while I decay and decay and decay.#Very very very very funny. very funny.
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killerpancakeburger · 3 months
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Being Ghost's BFF Headcanons
(while also dating Soap cause you deserve the best of both worlds)
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If you told anyone that Ghost was your favorite person to see in the morning, they'd write you off as clinically insane. Or laugh in your face. It didn't make it any less true though. When you don't want anyone speaking to you before you had your coffee, the Ghost feels heaven-sent. Others might see it as rude, but you're content with him acknowledging your presence with a nod of head or by raising his mug of tea in your direction.
You've never been afraid of him - more like displaying a healthy apprehension towards a guy exceeding 1m90, weighing over 100kg, and hiding his face.
After spending a couple hours with him, you quickly came up to a new conclusion about him: he just had a resting bitch face. Just because he had a deep voice and a monotonous tone didn't mean he was angry 24/7. He treated people how he wanted to be treated. He had high expectations for himself and for others/teammates. All in all, a pretty reasonable guy.
You like to think he started to respect you for your combat skills and experience, but evidence pointed to the fact that he began to look at you differently after seeing you decisively slap Soap in the face to wake him up after he passed out from blood loss.
There had been a few milestones in your relationship: when he told you a bad joke for the first time (you briefly thought you were having an aneurysm), when he told you to call him Simon (in private), when he awkwardly tried to cheer you up by patting you on the shoulder (first time he touched you outside of combat/training).
Outside of missions, the time you spent together was divided between shooting matches on the training grounds and hanging out with a smoke at night when both of you struggled to sleep. He was one of the rare men not pulling any punches against you, allowing to enjoy the competition freely. Soap tried time and time again to stay awake to join you two, but failed systematically.
Acting like a divorced couple with Soap as the kid you have shared custody of. "Yer man escaped medical again" "Before 6 a.m he is YOUR man, Lieutenant"
Frequently finding yourselves shouting both at the same time: "English, MacTavish!" In the same exasperated tone.
You can handle yourself, and Ghost is perfectly aware of that. That doesn't stop him from standing behind you menacingly like the Grim reaper himself when he thinks someone's taking too many liberties with you.
If Soap's a golden retriever when he's in a good mood, Ghost reminds of your parents' cat: silent, deadly, and shows affection by deigning to occasionally hang out in the same room as you.
You always carry a spare mask for him; and he wears spare hair ties on the wrist - plain, black ones. Cannot mess with his vibe.
People keeps asking how you managed to have a relationship with "The Ghost", and your answer is very simple: "learn when to shut the fuck up".
A/N:
Me in the beginning: I'm only gonna write Soap content
Ghost:
Me: Oh FFS
BONUS:
When Ghost told you a bad joke for the first time:
You still remembered the joke incident vividly: you were on a mission together, just the two of you, and as you were focusing more than usual, anxious to disappoint him or to be a liability, you suddenly heard in your com: "Ye heard the rumour 'bout butter?"
If Ghost's voice hadn't been unmistakable, you would have thought he had been killed and replaced by someone else.
"What (the fuck)", you exhaled, not because you wanted to know about butter, but because you had no idea what the hell was happening. The fact that his tone was exactly the same as usual - deadpan, flat - contributed to making you feel insane.
"Nah, I shouldn't be spreadin' it". was the answer. Torn between demanding explanations and not wanting to commit a faux pas, you replied the way you replied to your parents' bad jokes:
"Ha. Ha. Haha...?" 
The seasoned killer on the other side of the mic didn't seem to mind, but you texted Soap in panic as soon as your butt touched the helicopter's seat.
“JOHNNY”
"Sup hen"
"Cannae go wan mission without missing me, ae? ;)"
"Did Ghost hit his head recently??"
"Negative Ma'am" "Why? Did something happen??"
"He told me a dad joke. A fucking dad joke."
"😂 Thats kinda his thing"
"thought I was losing it"
"Congrats, ye can consider yerself stamped wit The Ghost seal of approval"
"Ok? Cool???"
"Mah too favourite people gittin along" *trails of smiling emojis and hearts*
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actual-changeling · 8 months
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An angel and a demon walk into a bar.
It sounds like the beginning of a joke, one that would have annoyed Crowley greatly before- before. Maybe it would have been mildly amusing, were it not for the fact that it is a pub, not a bar (a mere technicality that somehow still mattered), and it is the first time in seven months that he is looking Aziraphale right in the face.
He chose the place, walked right out of the bookshop and across the street the second Aziraphale looked at him with his stupid purple eyes and opened his mouth. Same table, same drinks. New silence.
A demon leads an angel into a pub so he does not kiss him again.
Less of a joke, more like the beginning of a nightmare he has had every single time he tried to sleep, woken by whispered words either confirming his worst fears or greatest desires; both incite fear, one way or another.
The low table between them is enough of a barrier to prevent a repeat of their last interaction, it has to be, although this time Aziraphale is looking at him with violet-coloured longing and an apology on his lips, no longer pleading, no longer angry. He is asking for forgiveness, and if that isn't a deeply ironic twist of fate.
Before either of them says a single word, Crowley finishes his drink and raises his hand to order another one, clinging to the familiar sting of alcohol in his throat to burn away the questions lingering on his tongue.
An angel followed a demon into a pub because he loves him.
Aziraphale wishes he could tell himself Crowley looks like he did seven months ago, that he hasn't changed, but he is done lying to himself, to either of them. Behind his shades, dark, darker if that is even possible, he can feel his golden gaze heavy on his face, familiar and the answer to an empty longing in his chest.
His drink goes untouched as Crowley downs one, then another, and it is after the third that he finally begins to talk.
"What do you want?"
Bitter, sharp, spit at his feet with an anger he expected and yet doesn't know how to react to. Underneath it is pain—more pain than any being should ever have to experience—and instead of trying to carry some of it for him, he only added to it.
"I want to apologise."
"Fine." Crowley shoves his empty glass away and gets up. "I don't forgive you."
Reflexively, Aziraphale reaches out and curls his fingers around his wrist when Crowley tries to walk past him, blinking up at him with eyes the colour of dying Myosotis.
Forget-me-nots.
They both freeze, the point of contact a crack in the walls they have spent centuries building and seven months rebuilding, and he knows he has made a mistake immediately.
Crowley stares at him, still as stone, until he suddenly rips his arm out of his grasp, almost cradling it against his chest. With dawning horror, Aziraphale realises he is shaking, tremors running through him like waves breaking apart on a rocky shore.
"Don't you dare touch me." Panic, not anger. Pure, unfiltered panic blooming beside a mountain of fear that could outlast an eternity.
"I-" He doesn't know what he wants to say, what he is trying to say, what he needs to say to make him stay. Oh, the irony of it all.
Crowley leaves the pub, and the Supreme Archangel stays behind.
Not a demon anymore, not technically, he is done with sides, and deeds, and choices; he never makes the right ones anyway. His wrist hurts with the ghost of a kiss, and he cannot get the glint of purple where summer sky blue should be out of his head. 
The Bentley is waiting for him, providing an escape from the noise, the people, him.
Apologies instead of I'm coming back.
A sickening aura of holiness tinged with the burn of ozone instead of books and dust and soft, silly angel.
Seven months of waiting, of pleading with God, of cursing Her, cursing him, cursing the entire fucking world for taking and taking and taking from him without pause, without even a fragment of mercy.
For this.
An angel returns to heaven. Crowley curses the stars and cries.
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makeithappenandreal · 5 months
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If Donna stayed the Doctor's companion Part 2:
12th Doctor: *trying his best act* Look, Donna, So I am with monks now, I don't care about the Earth or your people...
Donna: You know I can tell the type of breakfast you had today from looking into your eyes at this point , right?
Donna: So wrap your acting up, we have an afternoon tea arranged at Jupiter after we get this monks out of the Planet.
12th Doctor: Can't you just play along for once...
-
12th Doctor: I can't tell Donna that I am blind! She will fuss over me!
Nardole: You need to tell her! How can you hide it?
12th Doctor: Trust me, she will not notice one single thing.
Donna: *the second she walks into TARDIS* You are still blind, aren't you?
12th Doctor: Oh for Time's sake...
_
11th Doctor: So, River is Amy and Rory's daughter and she is also my wife as well... Does that mean Amy is my in law?!
Donna: She can berate you Like a child at any time. Living my dream for real
_
Donna: ...
12th Doctor: Not another word-
Donna: WORLD PRESIDENT LOL *bursts out laughing while pointing at him*
Donna: UPGRADE FROM TIME LORD VICTORIOUS THO
12th Doctor: Oh hell.. *puts his head on his hands*
_
_
War Doctor: We are surrounded by knights, we need to do something to escape!
11th Doctor: Oh there is no need to espace. Watch. Donna?
Donna, from the portal: YOU STUPID SPACEBOY WHERE IN THE EARTH ARE YOU AND I AM COMING THERE TO KICK YOUR IDIOT ASS TO SPACE
Knights: *run away in true terror*
10th Doctor: It's like we never left...
_
12th Doctor: *after turning up on the coffee shop Donna's relaxing* So, remember Davros?
Donna: ... Of course I do.
12th Doctor: *laughing nervously while thinking how he fucked up* So Guess what...
_
10th Doctor: *getting married to Queen Elizabeth*
Donna and 11th whispering aggressively behind* : - I cannot believe you did not mention you were married to QUEEN ELIZABETH! -.OBVIOUSLY i diDN'T KNOW!-
_
12th Doctor: So this is Gallifrey!
Donna: I thought it was Space Eden or something from the way you described it, this is just red sand. Like literal Azirona has more eccentric places than here.
12th Doctor: ...i sincerely want to believe I will be able to impress you one day because this is killing me.
_
Donna: So...
12th Doctor: ...
Donna: Why did you kidnap the president's wife?
12th Doctor: Oh, Heaven, you had a conversation with Missy, didn't you?
Donna: I literally have enough material in my hand to embarrase you for at least one regeneration, yeah.
Missy: She is my favorite.
_
13th Doctor: *steals Donna's coats every once in a while and does not give the clothes back*
Donna: *rants to her about that but secretly loves it*
_
12th Doctor: Clara, please be rational and give the TARDIS keys to me.
Donna: *whispers to Doctor* Not to interrupt an emotional moment but she does know you can just snap your fingers and get into TARDIS doesn't she?
12th Doctor: *shakes his head slightly*
Donna: Also that I have an extra key...
Donna: In fact I have a bowl of them because you like the noise the keys make when you drop it in there
Donna: But I guess this is what we are doing because you like to see people in angst. Okay.
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popopretty · 1 year
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BSD Chapter 105.5
"In the Narrow Room - the Later Part"
I love this chapter so much I have no words T_T Dazai is so precious I would trade the world for him!!
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Please note that I typed it out very quickly while being hyped with neither English nor Japanese as my native language, so I might make mistakes here and there. Please forgive me I can't think really straight right now ;v;
SPOILERS AHEAD
Sigma tells Dazai that he cannot believe that Dazai is a normal person because he just single-handedly took down Fyodor, and asks Dazai why he chose him in the beginning instead of all the other usable tools (;v;). Dazai tells him there are 2 reasons, first is Sigma can act as Kunikida's replacement, because it would be very boring if there is no one there to be in awe and admire what Dazai did there. Sigma gets mad at Dazai and assumes that Dazai thinks he is not worthy enough to share the truth. Dazai corrects him saying that is not true, and that Dazai doesn't share anything with him because it's hard for him to understand, especially after he has been used by Tenningosui and others this whole time.
Dazai then decides to share one thing with Sigma and asks him if his ability to switch information works on dead people. Sigma confirms he can, as long as they have not been dead for a very long time. Dazai explains that he wants Sigma to use that ability on Fyodor (who is assumed dead at that point) to read his plan after that and save the ADA at the airport. Sigma is surprised Dazai did everything that he did only to save the ADA, and the words from people who used him in the past starts echoing in his head.
Dazai and Sigma get on an elevator to get to the room where Fyodor is supposed to be drown. While they are waiting, Sigma asks Dazai what is the second reason for Dazai to choose him, to which Dazai nonchalantly answers that if he didnt choose Sigma, Sigma would be silenced by Fyodor or Gogol later. Sigma is shocked, trying to confirm Dazai's intention to save him but Dazai doesn't say no more. Sigma starts to wonder what kind of place is the ADA. He thought Dazai was the same as those guys who used him, but he feels something different now. He thinks about how he wants a home, where he is not used by anyone, and he realizes that, the ADA is not using Dazai, and Dazai is not using the ADA either.
Dazai notices something is strange because the elevator is taking too long. Suddenly the evelator stop and they hear the voice of the time freezing skill user on the radio, begging for her life. Fyodor is seen alive with Chuuya, shooting her dead. Fyodor then tells Dazai over the radio that he is surprised, not by the flooding, but by the fact that Dazai and his 7-year partner's bond was so shallow that Dazai think Chuuya's ability cannot deal with that flood. He reveals that he has had Chuuya break and distort the track/rail of each partition wall when they entered. That way, it will prevent the doors to close properly, letting the water leak outside and allowing them to easily escape. He then says that if one cannot even think of that, they do not have enough qualification to use the gravity manipulation.
Sigma does not get why Fyodor could do that, Dazai then explains to him that Fyodor must have put one of his vampire among the guards, and when he couldn't contact with that vampire anymore, he was able to guess that the control room has been taken. It also means that Fyodor has already been in control of Mersault way before Dazai took his action.
Fyodor admits he was caught by surprirse with the attack though, and even though it is seemingly a suitable trial for a servant of God like him, he is weak and cannot stand it if he catches a cold, so he wants to return the favor by making Dazai and Sigma go through the same trial. After he says so, the elevator starts to be filled with water. The two of them try to get out as the door being locked and Fyodor praying for them to be held in the hands of God.
The chapter ends here. Next issue will be released on March 3 (Japan time). Thanks for reading till the end <3
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probablyhuntersmom · 1 year
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The scenes towards the end of the finale were like an intersection of multiple characters experiencing the loss of father figures, in different shades:
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Luz's relationship to her late father took on a different form, after King's own father passed on and his glyph magic was gone for good. Manny gifting her the Azura books before his death, and Papa Titan offering her glyph magic before he too passed on, helped Luz find her place in the world and defeat Belos.
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Apparently this scene is what made Sarah Nicole-Robles bawl in the recording studio, right after she recorded the lines.
When these changes happen - when we experience the loss of a person, when our ties with them are wrangled into a new form, against our will - it can be devastatingly painful. Change and transformation make for fancy, dramatic scenes in fiction, and they always incur loss in some form, painful or not. It also made me so emotional when seeing how much 18-year-old Luz resembles Manny, and how her enrolment in the university is linked to both her biological father and Papa Titan.
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King's experience of seeing the majesty of his father, however brief, left him in awe and exhilaration. He can rest in the beautiful knowledge that Papa Titan was watching over him the whole time too. The message that his dad left him, relayed by Luz, is something he'll hold dear forever.
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Hunter will never be truly harmed by Belos ever again. But he can't discard the memories of Belos granting him attachment: even if the attachment ended up not being real in a sense. However, like what can be applied in real-life therapy, he can get guidance on how to rescript those memories.
Belos's lies about having good intentions don't change how it felt real to Hunter all those years ago. Hunter was a young child when receiving this 'love', and in a twisted way...the mission given to him by Belos kept him alive up till he could escape the Coven, because the mission gave his life meaning despite the circumstances being awfully terrible. A child cannot survive without attachment, and needs attachment even if the experience of attachment has been horrendous and scarring. And holy Titan don't get me started on how at age 16 (before the timeskip), he had yet to learn more grisly details about his predecessors - whom he might view as older brothers and fathers whom he never met - and the generational trauma in his Golden Guard family tree:
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which would have definitely been explored before he could experience that amazing hard-won serenity and peace at age 20.
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Even Philip's arc is inextricably tied to his manner of coping with how he murdered Caleb, who was the closest thing he had to a father, given how these two brothers were orphans. In the end, Philip meets his end while Luz gazes upon him the same way Caleb's ghost did. Philip won't be haunted by Caleb's ghost again, and he joins the person who was essentially his father figure in death. Till the very end, he was projecting onto another person because he didn't want to recognize the same traits in himself. He was the one responsible for his father figure's death.
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But grief doesn't mean the relationships in question have ended altogether. It's kind of like what this post about the finale (link) says, and it even extends to the relationship between us fans and the show itself.
The cliché "5 Stages of Grief" is the most commonly mentioned grief model, but I follow the development and advocacy of a newer perspective on grief that challenges it. In fact, the 5 Stages was originally just intended for terminally ill patients, but it was taken out of proportion. I began a serious investigation into the newer models after I went through something that parallels Hunter losing Flapjack...eerily, it happened to me two weeks before TTT's release date. No wonder I feel so close to Hunter as a blorbo, I guess.
Unlike what the 5 Stages of Grief says, grief and linear time don't mix well. Without "stages" to follow, there isn't an expectation of some deadline or permanent end of a tunnel in the newer models. Such pressure wouldn't be honoring the sacredness of connections between us. Instead, less famous grief perspectives like the dual-process model and continuing bonds model, are a better fit to honor relationships that mattered, since they aren't given an expiry date.
I wonder how Luz would be feeling on the day she graduates from the Wild Magic University, and how King feels each time he unlocks his own new glyphs since he is the new Titan to supply the Isles with magic. And I wonder how Hunter felt when his coven sigil was replaced with the Flapjack tattoo, and how he feels when he sees the Gravesfield town seal and Wittebane statues.
There are ways in which they can get creative to integrate their grief (notice I didn't say "get rid of", "remove", "erase" or even "manage"...the pain is what is to be managed, not the grief itself) the best they can. In canon, we have examples such as the Hexsquad agreeing to get their Flapjack tattoos together. Luz letting go of the light glyph sheet here:
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is also a fantastic representation of rituals like sending off a message in a bottle at a beach, tying a message to a balloon and letting it fly away (this happened in Reaching Out, didn't it?), or burning a message in a campfire to let it float up towards the sky in the form of embers.
It is a common recommendation to have exercises like letter-writing where the griever writes to the lost loved one. What many may not know is you can also do the reverse: you writing as your lost loved one, to yourself. Because the griever takes a piece of the lost loved one with them, that the griever has shaped within themselves. This is especially good if you need to extend forgiveness to yourself. An example from a book called Bearing the Unbearable:
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The author felt responsible for the stillbirth of her child, but had a "happy accident" where she intuitively asked for forgiveness and then received it, by invoking the love that her child would have shown to her in a world where said child had remained alive.
I think Hunter in particular could benefit from something like this, writing to himself as the uncle whom he saw as genuine and nurturing, and gaining ownership of that part of him even though Belos was a liar and is now gone for good. It can help him move forward especially since he won't be spared from nightmares in which his loss is re-enacted. With this kind of rescripting, historical accuracy doesn't actually need to matter. After all, our own minds lie to us at times and mess with historical accuracy anyway, like Luz's thoughts telling her she was as bad as Belos, and how true that felt.
A physical loved one is lost to death, and it can feel just as painful - only in a different way - if people become estranged or separated without a literal death having occurred. But the connection to them isn't lost, it is only adapted. The bond continues. For better or worse.
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I believe the pain in grieving is connected to each moment when we remember all over again that the one we loved isn't coming back.
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It's like the needle of a gramophone getting stuck in the loop of an unpleasant-sounding record scratch noise. It's a bit like what C.S. Lewis says in his book A Grief Observed: "In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out." I can't find the other part but he later said something like, therefore if a friendship is lost, the part of you that only that friend could bring out, is also lost. Something in you is locked away forever, though new things can also be unlocked after the loss.
It wasn't shown onscreen but I wouldn't be surprised if it's regular for Luz to come across a meme and be freshly reminded of her dad's absence, because she can't show him that meme. King would be wishing that a new funny cat video he discovers is something his dad could also laugh at along with him. Hunter would be hoping that Flapjack, the previous Golden Guards and Caleb are watching as he brings back palismen.
Bereavement, and any grief that is significant enough to alter our personhood forever, are the forms of love that can never really grasp how time flows in a linear way. They can't be reasoned with, only experienced.
"...the howling at the center of grief is raw and real. It is love in its most wild form" - Megan Devine.
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orionsangel86 · 1 month
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Lucienne/Lucien - How the Librarian Became the Chief.
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In The Sandman Netflix adaptation Lucienne is a stand out character and second only to Morpheus in importance, screen time, and centrality to the story. Lucienne is Morpheus's loyal Librarian, second in command, ruler of the Dreaming in his absence, and often times a voice of reason and advice for our dutiful King of Dreams. She is so well respected in her position that the other castle residents consider her their boss and would rather go to her for guidance and command than Morpheus himself. She takes care of Dream's ravens and even appears to have the power to create new ravens from newly deceased mortals like she did with Matthew. She is clearly extremely close to Morpheus, and is one of very few people he seems to actually listen to and trust. Lucienne's role in this story can not be underestimated.
So it may come as a surprise to any fans of the show who haven't read the comics to learn that Lucien (as he is called in the comics) is afforded very few of the above traits. In fact Lucien is no where near as close to Morpheus even by the very end of the story, as Lucienne is at the beginning. It is this difference that has fascinated me since I first started diving into the comics after falling in love with the show, and its something I view as extremely important when considering how the story is being adapted into a kinder, more sympathetic universe surrounding our central protagonist.
Lucienne's role is expanded greatly from her comic counterpart, and her relationship with Morpheus is shown to be much deeper. This is evident practically right away at the end of episode one when Lucienne comes to greet Morpheus upon his return to the Dreaming following his escape.
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The way she runs over to him as soon as she realises he is back, and lovingly takes his hand and is so pleased to see him is a far cry from the comic where the first thing Lucien does is bow.
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So right at the start we see a very different form of relationship here. Where Lucienne is already displaying a level of care and devotion beyond the expectations of a servant, Lucien however, is exactly that.
The servant thing has caused a bit of contention among fandom in the past. I think the confusion could come from whether or not you see Lucien or Lucienne first. Lucien IS a servant of Dream. Lucienne is more like a vice president and royal advisor. Those are two very different things after all and that difference only becomes more obvious the further you go into the story.
Lucienne accompanies Morpheus throughout his return to his crumbling kingdom, helps him as he attempt to repair the damage, follows him to Cain and Abel, and watches over his meeting with the Fates. She is by his side from the moment he returns until the moment he leaves again for the waking world to begin his quest to recover his tools, and she is responsible for Matthew's reincarnation as the new Raven and instructs Matthew to stay with him because of her concern for Morpheus's wellbeing on his quest.
I cannot stress enough how much none of this is in the comics. Lucienne shows a level of care towards Morpheus that just isn't present in Lucien in the comics. After the first meeting with Lucien at the gates of the Dreaming, Lucien doesn't appear again until he is instructed by Morpheus to conduct the census of the Dreaming. He only appears again in the Doll's House very briefly and has no involvement in Morpheus's decisions during that arc, which takes place very rarely in the Dreaming.
That's not to say that Lucien isn't a very trusted servant of Morpheus. He is the closest to Morpheus of all the residents of the Dreaming except only Matthew. But I think a lot of what we see in the show of Morpheus and Lucienne's dynamic is inspired by much later in the comics. I also think that it speaks loudly to the change in Morpheus as a character. Show!Morpheus has people almost right away who care about him and want to help him, whereas comic!Morpheus is extremely isolated. It is clear in the early comic stories that comic!Morpheus keeps himself at arms length from basically everyone. He does not have a bond with Lucien, he did not have Jessamy, and at that early stage, he didn't even have Matthew. All of this of course was primarily to make show!Morpheus a more sympathetic and likeable character - you gotta give your protagonist people who care about them, it helps raise the stakes after all.
Taking Charge - Lucienne is the real boss
One of my favourite parts of the Dolls House episodes in the Netflix show is the conflict between Morpheus and Lucienne due to the other residence and Dreaming servants going to her for advice and instruction first rather than Morpheus. Bearing in mind this only takes place less than a year after Morpheus's return from imprisonment, it speaks volumes as to how Lucienne has taken the role of leader of the Dreaming in her stride.
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But it also indicates how Morpheus' change in the show is coming at lightening fast speed compared to the comic. In the comic, Mervyn doesn't make these observations until the Brief Lives arc, and this is indicated at that point to be a very new thing - triggered by several years post fish bowl of having to face his past decisions and mistakes (and a string of scorned ex lovers one after the other ending in a horribly matched rebound relationship with a murderous witch that subsequently rejected him and triggered him literally seeking out destruction). Lucien was only put in charge of the Dreaming when Morpheus left to go on his trip with Delirium. It is during that trip that Morpheus realises how competent Lucien is and capable of running things without problem in his absence.
Mervyn's insights are made clear here:
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This is the only time in the comic that anyone dares mention that someone other than Morpheus might be the boss - and it is in no way as directly spelled out as it is in the show. "You're practically running the place" and "you secretly run this place" are quite different statements. The first only makes an observation about Morpheus's current lack of interest (in Brief Lives) in actually running his realm. It implies that Lucien is doing Morpheus' job for him, but does not go as far as to outright call Lucien the boss. Whereas in the show, that's exactly what Mervyn does.
In the comic, Morpheus overhears Mervyn's speech and immediately points out his reasoning for leaving Lucien in charge, for promoting him and giving him more authority.
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Because no one ever technically undermines Morpheus in the comic, there is no conflict here. Morpheus trusts Lucien as his loyal servant and gives him the power to rule in his stead (but only when he is absent) and there is no "secretly report to Lucien first" attitude among Matthew and Mervyn. We can perhaps interpret that this might be happening behind the scenes by this point in Brief Lives, or even just before the BL arc when Morpheus was distracted by his rebound murderess, but it is never actually directly stated that this is going on.
The tension between Morpheus and Lucienne in the show is born out of the conflict over Lucienne's position and Morpheus feeling undermined by his subjects, and its storytelling gold. But the only reason such a story works in the show is because Lucienne is so important to Morpheus in the show, because their relationship goes so much deeper than the relationship in the comic. Lucienne is not a servant, she's his god damn vice president and she knows it, and he knows it too. Throughout episodes 7 and 8 specifically he reaches out to her for her opinion and advice on the Vortex situation. He talks things through with her and seeks out her guidance. It is clear that he relies on her and it is only at the end of episode 8 when Lucienne disagrees with his punishment of Gault, that in his anger, he dismisses her.
Lucien/ne the Royal Advisor
Where Morpheus in the show seeks out Lucienne's advice and opinion frequently especially during the Doll's House arc, I have to stress that this never happens in the comic. Comic!Morpheus just does not have that kind of relationship with Lucien and does not seek his counsel at all, even though Lucien does try to give it on occassion, usually when Morpheus is about to do something extremely stupid and probably damaging to himself and the Dreaming. To name a couple times:
Season of Mists - before Morpheus returns to Hell:
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Brief Lives - before seeking Destruction:
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You'll note that in both these times Lucien's words of caution are completely ignored.
You'll also notice that in both times Lucien is taking a path of polite caution. Lucien very rarely speaks his mind to Morpheus, because he knows it won't get him very far to do so. The only time Lucien truly loses his cool and speaks freely is in The Kindly Ones (spoiler alert)
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At this point in the comic story Morpheus has basically all but given up and accepted his fate and its fucking depressing AF. Lucien is well within his right to shake the bastard HARD and snap him TF out of it. I STILL think he was too restrained here tbh!
My point here is that Lucienne already speaks her mind quite freely around Morpheus in the show. She expresses her opinions and thoughts and gives him her advice. This is such a well established dynamic by the point of the argument that it is clear that Lucienne is offended by Morpheus's dismissal of her.
Take this exchange from episode 9:
Lucienne: "Rose is weakening the walls between realms" Matthew: "You gonna tell the Boss?" Lucienne: "No." Matthew: "No?" Lucienne: "It's none of my business." Matthew: "Er, since WHEN?" Lucienne: "Since Lord Morpheus reminded me that I'm merely a librarian and should concern myself with my books from now on." Matthew: "He said that?! What's wrong with him!" Lucienne: "Nothing is wrong with him. He's always been this way. He's just been away so long I'd forgotten. He's determined to deal with the vortex and the missing Arcana by himself. Without anyones help. So any news must be reported directly and exclusively to him."
It's worth pointing out here that whilst this is framed as Morpheus being a stubborn idiot, in the comic, he does in fact deal with the vortex and the missing Arcana by himself mostly and is not so much helped but saved at the last moment by Unity Kinkaid who realises what is happening in a dream and goes to save Rose, which also saves Morpheus from Desire's trap.
In the show, Morpheus has people who care enough about him and his realm to want to get involved and help him, not out of a desire to undermine him, but simply because they care about him. That is a drastic change from the comic at this point. Morpheus in the comic is constantly shown to be struggling under the burden of his own responsibilities and this is highlighted by the fact that he doesn't really get any support or assistance, and is far too prideful to ask for it. Lucien gets the promotion and chance to rule in his absence, but it is never framed as a job he shares with Morpheus - at no point does Lucien take the burden of his responsibilities off of him. This is no Samwise Gamgee "I can carry you" moment unfortunately. Lucien does not have the power nor the bond with Morpheus to undertake such a task because Morpheus keeps him at arms length throughout the comics - but Lucienne? Well, time will tell how that may change.
An Apology from the King
In a shock horror twist that comic!Morpheus would sooner die than do himself (ha) the great emo King of the Netflix universe gives Lucienne an apology for his behaviour (sort of).
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Episode 9 displays the tension between Morpheus and Lucienne following their "break up" perfectly. Morpheus is clearly in the wrong, and Lucienne is clearly hurt by his dismissal of her support. Yet even after the fight, he still seeks out her advice in determining the cause of the disturbances in the Dreaming. He goes to her first before investigating himself (something that comic!Morpheus wouldn't even consider doing) and is surprisingly capable in swallowing his pride here even though it is clearly a struggle for him.
Later in the episode, once he realises that Lucienne was right about the disturbances, he seeks her out to tell her so, and to confirm that she was right and he was wrong. This is again something that I can't fathom comic!Morpheus doing, even nearer the end of the story I don't believe he does so, certainly not to Lucien. Fiddlers Green drums this point home when he says this:
Fiddlers Green: "... still his time there appears to have changed him as it has changed me." Lucienne: "How so?" Fiddlers Green: "Lucienne, he came to you and told you he was wrong. It was very nearly an apology. The Morpheus I knew was incapable of that."
This further reinforces not just how much Morpheus has changed in a short time, but also how much he respects and cares about Lucienne and their continued relationship.
Platonic Life Partners? Co Ruler and Closest Confident of the Dream King
When I set out to write this meta, it was with the aim to highlight Lucienne's elevated role from her comic counterpart. To try to stress the importance of her character in the show and what this means for the future of the story in the show. By the end of the last episode, Lucienne is practically granted co-ruler status of the Dreaming while Morpheus works on his creations. He asks her if she can "take care of things while he works" which she agrees "with pleasure".
I just... I can NOT stress ENOUGH how much comic!Morpheus needed this person in his life. Even though Lucien looks after the Dreaming whilst Morpheus is away in Season of Mists and Brief Lives, it is always as a last resort with Morpheus continuing to check in on Lucien during Brief Lives as if he expects trouble, and he always seems a bit confused when Lucien tells him all is fine. As if he can't quite understand how the Dreaming could be okay without him there (and I mean, after the trauma of watching your realm which is also technically a part of you crumble to dust I suppose you would be a bit attached to it!).
Comic!Morpheus constantly struggles under the weight of his responsibility. His entire thing is that he is desperate to step away and not be who he is but he simply does not have it in him to do that. He is far too bound by his rules and responsibilities. For Morpheus in the show to be given someone to support him in his rule as King and assist him with the burden of his responsibilities is actually a hugely mindblowing change to the comic, and could honestly have huge repercussions on the story going forward. Not only that, but the Morpheus in the comics is painfully lonely. He desperately needs companionship but he keeps everyone at arms length. He never allows his subjects to get too close to him, even Lucien. Even Matthew isn't afforded the same level of closeness in the comics as he is in the show. In the comics, the ONLY character who Morpheus is close to is Death. Which says a lot by itself. The second character he gets closer to as time goes on is Delirium. Which also says a lot. Think of the characters in terms of their concepts. Morpheus has no close friends in the comics (even his relationship with Hob Gadling in the comic doesn't have half the impact it does in the show) and keeps all those he interacts with at arms length except for Delirium and Death.
But show!Morpheus? He has a Matthew who is already so very devoted to him, a Hob Gadling who waited an extra 33 years on hope alone that he would return to him, and a Lucienne who rules by his side, offers him support, guidance, counsel, companionship and probably a good helping of love. How can this Morpheus possibly carry the same deep loneliness as his comic counterpart? How can this Morpheus be buckling under the weight of his duties when he already has his Samwise Gamgee right there by his side? It poses an interesting question for how the show will handle future story arcs, though it could all prove to simply make for a much more painful story, where we happen to have many more characters to react and show the deeply painful grief that we all feel at his eventual passing - or maybe, just maybe, this is a universe where Hope never died...
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yawnderu · 8 months
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I’m sorry for sending another request AKDHSJSHSJ u don’t have write this if u don’t want to
ok so it’s kinda similar to my last request but reader is the evil queen. Like the one from snow white. They ask their mirror who the fairest one of all is and instead of it being her, it’s Miguel. So she decides to journey to him and try to kill him but instead ends up fucking him
Snow White!Miguel O'Hara x Evil Queen!Reader
''Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?''
''Famed is thy beauty, Majesty. But hold, a manservant I see. Rags cannot hide his gentle grace. Alas, he is more fair than thee.'' The mirror on the wall spoke, much to your horror. There had never been anyone who could compete with your beauty, yet you knew the magic mirror could not lie to you.
''Alas for him! Reveal his name.'' You demand, curious to know who exactly took your place. You'd have no issues paying them a visit.
''Eyes like darkened carmine resin, hair the brown of aged mahogany, skin like the mellow-brown light that bathed the forest.'' Was all the mirror replied, yet that was enough for you to know who exactly he was talking about.
''Miguel O'Hara.'' You spat out through clenched teeth, recognizing the features of the little rascal you haven't seen in over 20 years. His mother kept him hidden from the outside world, yet you'd never imagined that was to protect him from your wrath.
... Tough luck for the little bastard, as you now stand outside of a humble cottage disguised as a mere peasant, taking a deep breath before your knuckles make contact with the door. You hear a crash on the inside and a string of curses in Spanish before the door opens, a tall, tanned man opens the door with a small smile, sweat pooling on the middle of his thick eyebrows- it seemed he was in the middle of doing chores.
''Sí?'' He asked quietly, a small, nervous smile on his face as he looks down at you. He changed a lot ever since the last time you saw him- he's now much taller than you, dwarfing your frame with his behemoth 6'9 body, his features are way more defined and he carries himself with more confidence than when he was a scrawny kid.
''Oh, my. You've grown quite a lot, Miguel.'' You reply in your best fake tone, hiding the fact that you want to rip his heart out for having the audacity to take your place. He simply nods once, waiting for you to continue.
''I'm your mother's friend, she told me to wait for her inside.'' You don't even wait for him to reply before you walk past him, ignoring his confused stammering behind you. His mother never invites friends over, opting for completely alienating him from the outside world in fear he'd escape her controlling grasp. He was about to stop you, yet having company other than his family was nice enough for him to ignore all the red flags.
''Lo siento, I was cleaning before you-'' You dismiss him with a flick of the wrist, taking seat on a chair in the dining room before you motion for him to sit down next to you. As annoyed as you were, you were curious about him enough to ignore the urge to claw his heart out. For now. He nods his head, sitting down next to you, his red eyes looking curious as he waits for you to start the conversation.
''I've never seen you around, Miguel. Why is that?'' You ask curiously, tilting your head to the side as you wait for him to explain the lies his mother fed him for over 30 years.
''My mother says it's not safe outside, lots of hunters and wild animals.'' He replies politely, fully believing the lies carved into his brain from a young age, despite the small frown on his plump lips. ''Gabriel is allowed to go outside, though.'' His frown deepens as he thinks about how unfair the treatment is, yet his gaze focuses on you the moment your hand rests on his thigh. He raises an eyebrow, giving you a questioning look.
''Isn't that unfair?'' You ask with mock empathy, pretending to match his frown. ''You're so much bigger and braver than Gabriel is, yet Conchata doesn't let you go out... how odd and cruel.'' As if your plans for him aren't crueler. You resist the urge to smile as he nods his head in agreement, seemingly already used to your hand on his thigh. Hook, line, and fucking sinker.
''I could help you see the outside world, you know?'' You say gently, your hand starting to slowly run up and down his leg, yet he doesn't seem to protest yet.
''My mother wouldn't like that... I try my best to be respectful.'' He already spent his teenage years trying to escape and getting punished for it. He got it out of his system already.
''Ah, but you wouldn't like to see the huge castles? All the animals on the outside, tasting the best food the country has to offer...'' You trail off, your hand slowly cupping his groin. You hear him suck in a breath, his leg slowly starting to bounce, yet all he can do is nod his head in agreement with you. He'd love to see all those things, it's everything he ever wanted. Maybe he could even fall in love, like in those fairy tales he reads whenever he's not being burdened with chores.
''I'd love that.'' He said softly, his eyes closing when you started rubbing his groin softly, your fingers teasingly squeezing his hardening length as you continued to make conversation like nothing is happening. You just started touching him, yet his breathing was already growing heavier, his bulky chest rising up before falling as his head slightly tilted back.
''I could show you great pleasures, if you let me.'' This time, you're not talking about the outside world. Your hands fumble with the zipper of his pants once he nods his head, eyes still closed as he softly bites his plump lower lip.
There's no harm on playing with your prey, is what you tell yourself as you bring him in for a kiss, your hand gently rubbing up and down his thick shaft as he softly groans into your mouth, his inexperienced tongue wrapping around yours as you both battle for dominance. Of course, despite his best efforts, you win. He breaks away from the kiss, bending down until his forehead is leaning on your shoulder as you continue to jerk him off, fingers teasingly rubbing against the mushroom tip, pre-cum only serving as lube once you continue your movements.
''Good boy.'' You praise, and he can sense the arrogance in your tone, yet it feels too good for him to ask you to stop. He lets out deep moans and groans as you keep going, already feeling himself going to the edge before you suddenly stop. He looks up at you with an exasperated expression, though he doesn't protest once he sees you sit down on the table, gown folded on your stomach as you expose yourself to him. He doesn't need to think twice before getting on his knees, sloppily starting to lick your cunt with his inexperienced tongue. He's clumsy, yet his plump lips and big tongue feel too good for you to care.
''Keep going.'' You moan out and he obeys like a dog, eating your pussy out like a starved mad man who just found a home. His tongue seeks shelter inside your cunt, pushing itself in and out as he begins to rub his dick up and down, the same way he has been doing for so many years, thinking about this moment. He tries to go back to licking your cunt as you push him away, yet your glare is enough for him to stop, standing up when you instruct it.
''Put it in.'' You say bluntly, too impatient to wait for him to be inside you. It has been so long, and although you're still mad about him taking your place, you'll deal with him properly when the time comes. He nods his head, carefully lining up his dick to your hole, moaning when the sensitive skin makes contact with the mix of his saliva and your arousal. He starts to slowly go in, hissing as your tight cunt swallows him up, his forehead resting on your shoulder. You can feel the bared fangs against your neck, yet you know he's too good to do anything.
''Ay, Dios...'' He groaned once he bottomed out, his moaning mixing in with yours as he began to move, slowly building up a faster rhythm as his arms wrapped around your waist. He was now slamming into you, looking into your eyes a few times to bask in your expression, always making sure you're also feeling good. Your long nails scratched down his back, his low growls making you smirk.
''Just like that.'' You said between moans, already feeling yourself close to the edge as your hand came down to rub your hardened clit as Miguel went faster and deeper, fangs bared as he looked down at you. At this point, his behemoth frame was using your much smaller body as a fleshlight, too lost in experiencing pleasure for the first time to even bother being embarrassed.
''Voy a-'' He interrupted himself as he pulled out, jerking himself off while you were still too dazed from your orgasm, barely managing to feel the warm liquid landing on your wet, abused hole.
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hms-no-fun · 8 months
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so, (SPOILERS FOR FIONNA AND CAKE but its relevant to the question but im gonna put a bunch of line breaks just in case lol)
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so fionna and cake ended with fionna basically being like, you know, youre RIGHT god, if magic came back my wish would simply be twisted and it would suck, there will be no rule breaking miracles! I will now work as a struggling minimum wage employee in seattle and Be Happy about it. i sure am glad the threat of losing everyone i know and love set me straight!! sorry to send u this really random thing the ending just felt like such a slap in the face and i wanted to ask someone who knows that exact Seattle Struggle. this is absolutely me appealing to the Writing Gods to back me up that the ending wasnt very good lmao but if i have a direct line to the craftsgoat i simply must use it for something stupid at least once
FULL SERIES SPOILERS FOR FIONNA & CAKE AFTER THE BREAK!!!
i really disagree with your read on the ending. it didn't feel like "just struggle with seattle minimum wage forever and be happy about it" at all to me! the whole instigating incident was that fionna wanted to transform reality into something that she personally thought would be better, without taking into account the fact that other people exist and have internal lives just as complex as hers. she comes back to her original world to find marshall and gary holding hands, explains to them the magical adventure she's been on and the fact that their world is about to transform into something unrecognizably magical, and they receive this with abject horror! fionna doesn't know whether simon becoming ice king again will erase marhsall & gary's burgeoning relationship, which makes her realize that in her quest to escape the boring, oppressive reality of working odd jobs to make ends meet, she's only ever focused that energy on how to make things better for her.
i really want to dig into this because it's a key theme of the show. there is a destructive selfishness innate to the "heroes" of this universe, who feel entitled to the joyous empowerment of being able to defeat anyone and everyone they see in open combat. cake has a whole musical number about this! simon's arc in the last two episodes was betty grabbing him and shaking him until he finally asked himself, how would my life have been different if i'd just once let the woman i loved steer the ship for a while? and then of course we see the lich in a reality where he succeeded in eradicating all life, only to find himself desiccated and without purpose, begging the god of chaos for an answer it cannot give. brian david gilbert's ice prince seems perfectly put together and successful, until the reveal that he's outsourced his madness to someone who didn't accept the terms of the crown's curse. this didn't solve the fundamental problem, it just inverted the roles of its expression by making princess bubblegum into the mad candy queen. nothing about the status quo has changed, simon has simply given himself a more dignified role in it.
this is a story about what happens when people in struggle behave as though they are the protagonist of reality. when fionna says "this is the world i want to fight for" she's not fighting for the right to get another shitty minimum wage job. i think you've really missed something by accepting that conclusion when cake the cat is right there saying that her magical self IS the version of herself she wants to live as. being a normal house cat for her was, arguably, a form of body dysmorphia, and the show lets her keep that magic at the end! the thing is, their world IS changed by the events of the show! the status quo is altered!
like, what do we actually see everyone DOING when the credits approach? we see this entire disconnected community banding together to rebuild the city together, and we see a huge crowd of protesters outside marshall's mom's place demanding that she lower rents. we see people connecting with other people, including three outcasts from other universes escaping to this more boring one for their own safety. i loved this ending honestly, because it felt to me like an attempted refutation of the very idea that you can magically transform reality into something better overnight. if fionna'd gotten her original wish and made her world into, like, candy world, then... what? let's say they play it as like, at last people are freed from the shackles of capitalism and everyone just gets to be weird funky critters going on adventures or whatever. what would that, as art, actually say? what would that mean to us in the real world? if we're going into this cartoon looking for some kind of revolutionary energy (which IS present in the text, much to its credit), what actionable or symbolically resonant message are we supposed to take from a story that resolves its problems with magic? at that point, it ceases to be relevant as anything more than pure fantasy, because it has abandoned any connection to the material reality WE are trapped in.
i don't want to magically transform the world overnight. this whole show goes out of its way to explore how trying to transform the world overnight, in a world where such a thing is possible, is a really fucking bad idea for a whole host of reasons. regardless, such things aren't possible in our world. so going into the finale, my worry was that they WOULD turn fionna's world into another candy world and just say, ah, the revolution is when you think the right things so hard that the material plane bends to your will.
that's neoliberal thinking. that's like the essence of the failed leftist project of the "end of history" era from the 90s onwards, when marxism was systematically rooted out of academic cultural analysis and replaced with the delusion that if you can just get people thinking the right things, you can affect change in the world. well here we are, it's 2023 and all that magical thinking has got us is a world on fire and a civilization of human beings so thoroughly disempowered that they would literally rather pretend to be a tortured anime protagonist than exist in this boring, shitty, violent reality. you can't think your way out of oppression. raising labor consciousness is, at best, step one. you want to know why unions are winning big right now when they've been completely useless in this country for decades? it's because they've stopped giving a shit about optics they can't control and remembered that the boss's value does not exist without labor. you do not necessarily need marxism for this, marxism is simply the most accurate articulation of the fact that workers who make the things a capitalist sells can kneecap the capitalist by refusing to make the things they want to sell. change doesn't happen with the publishing of a book or whatever, it happens when enough people in real life press their material demands hard enough that someone in charge is left no choice but to listen.
so for me, fionna & cake ending the way it did was a huge relief, because it wasn't espousing magical thinking. the solution to fionna's ennui and economic anxiety was not to just get another job and be happy to live in the world as it was-- it was to create a sense of shared community and struggle, uniting the not-seattleites in their survival of a near-apocalypse and using it as a jumping off point for fundamentally transforming the state of that world as it exists. fionna had to realize that her problems are everyone's problems, and that making her life personally better at the expense of everyone else's agency is just an act of kicking the can of responsibility down the road indefinitely. no one who gets their wish in this show is happy to have gotten it, or avoids punishing others who didn't ask to be involved.
the "canonization" of fionna & cake felt like a reaction to the idea that we in our world are permanently isolated from the fictional realities we create where change seems to come so easy, and the powerlessness that can engender. instead this show is saying, okay, let's say we are in continuity with these fantastical realities. what do we actually DO with that? how do we make this world more fun, more interesting, more fulfilling for everyone to live in? the answer is the same as it's always been, and no other answer would ever feel satisfying: you do it by organizing the workers against the current arrangement of the state with the explicit goal of transforming it for the better.
what does simon do at the end when he gives fionna her world to her? he says that no one person should have that responsibility, that it's been in one person's hands for too long. so he gives it to her in the form of a dandelion, whose blown seeds merge with and become part of everyone trying to survive the scarab's attack. the idea here is that while no single person ever possesses the power to transform the world on their own, the world itself belongs to all of us, and it is within our power to transform it together. those who hoard power want us to believe that this is not the case precisely because the basis of their power is fraudulent and maintained through the violence of the state.
as someone who does live in seattle for better and worse, as much as i do wish i could make literally anything better right the fuck now by whatever means necessary... the fact is i can't. and it does no one any good to labor under the assumption that i or any other individual has that kind of absolute transformative power. the solutions are all right there, and they are simple, materialist propositions whose only difficulty lies in how successfully we've been propagandized to think that the individual is God, or at least speaks on His behalf. there's no thinking our way out of this pickle, and no one's gonna do the hard work for us.
as to the question of how you actually get people in real life to get together and do all that hard work... well, personally i think it's unfair to ask a 10 episode cartoon show to give you any kind of actionable advice on that front. i might even go so far as to say that such an expectation is an expression of the very same magical thinking which the show tries to push back against! in any case i liked it quite a lot and i hope this rambling answer encourages you to revisit the show and reconsider some of your takeaways
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justthoughts1310 · 2 months
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Boruto's Love Interest is Mitsuki
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So, in the last post, I made it clear why I believe that Mitsuki is in love with Boruto.
However in this post, I will explain why I believe Boruto is receptive to Mitsuki being his romantic partner.
My explanation will span across chapter 7 and 8, and it will compare and contrast them with each other.
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Up until this point, Boruto has three confirmed love interests: Sarada, Sumire, and Mitsuki, but he has shown no romantic interest in any of them. Until, maybe now.
I want to start by contrasting Ch.7 with Ch.8.
In Chapter 7, Boruto realizes that Mitsuki has tracked him with a snake. At first, it appears that Boruto sticks around to confront MItsuki because he's far enough away from the village to go ape mode, and also because Mitsuki has closed in on him and now he cannot escape fast enough.
Chapter 7, confirmed that the prior was not the case. Boruto actually scolds Mitsuki for causing excessive environment damage, and Boruto keeps his attacks and skilled and percise as possible. All the while, Boruto fights cautiously in order to ensure that he neither hurts Mitsuki nor destroys the forest.
Chapter 8, confirms that the latter was also not the case. As soon as Boruto learns that Kawaki is coming, he automatically uses flying Thunder God Technique to teleport away. Delta and Kawaki can literally fly, and by the time they reach Boruto's location, Boruto is nowhere to be seen.
Both chapters are paired by the fact that Shikamaru warns Boruto about both Kawaki and Mitsuki pursuing him before they arrive.
Boruto had the option to teleport away in Ch. 7 and not deal with Mitsuki at all, but he (instead) stayed and had a conversation with him. He proved to Mitsuki that he could kill Mitsuki at anytime, but he refused to harm even one hair on Mitsuki's head.
In Boruto's fight with Mitsuki, he has two very prominent opportunities to escape, and he takes neither chance. This is even pointed out by Kishimoto, when Mitsuki asks Boruto why he does not simply escape when he has more than enough ability to do it?
Pair this with him evading Kawaki. When Boruto hears that Kawaki is coming, he doesn't even entertain a conversation with Kawaki.
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Now, let's discuss language.
In Ch.7 Boruto saying something that I've never heard Boruto say before:
He explicitly declares himself to be Mitsuki's Sun.
When Mitsuki exhibits concern with regard to Kawaki, Boruto tells Mitsku not to worry, and that this is a simple quarrel between brothers.
Now, I point this out to say, because a lot of no nuance nellys continue to infer that Boruto and Mitsuki has a fraternal relationship, and THEY DON'T.
The Naruto and Boruto series have never shied away from using words like Brothers, Rivals, and Friends, and all of these words have deep meaning in the world of Naruto and Boruto. They all have symbolic level meaning.
Yet, Boruto never refers to Mitsuki as his brother, and Mitsuki never refers to Boruto as his Brother.
Now, one might say, that maybe neither of them know what it's like to be a brother or to have a brother. To which, I'd say that's absolutely ridiculous because both of them are brothers and have brothers.
Boruto's the brother of Himawari. Boruto's brother is Kawaki.
Mistuki's brother is his older clone: Log.
If Boruto and Mitsuki, had fraternal feelings for one another, I think it would be really obvious to each of them as individuals, since the two of them are both not only children. In fact, they are the only new generation characters in all of Boruto that actually have siblings (aside from their siblings Himawari, Kawaki, and Log of course).
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Boruto tells Mitsuki that he doesn't need a sun, that he can shine on his own, but he also says if you need a sun then come find me.
In some translations, he says "Come to my place anytime" (oooo sexual).
Anyway, my point is that, if Boruto ends up being as astute as Eida and Sarada in realizing that Mitsuki has romantic feelings for him. Boruto may have just said to Mituski, "Come though and I'll give you what you need *wink, wink*".
Lol, I'm joking but I'm not joking. I don't want to perscribe sexual intention to this so early on.
However, I do think Boruto is saying that if you still feel that you need me in this romantic and relational capacity (once you realize that it's me and not Kawaki), I will be here to receive that, accept that, and be what you need in regard to that to the best of my abilities.
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Just the way the story had already played out, I think there's a good chance that the character of Boruto is bisexual.
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the-s1lly-corner · 7 months
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Hope you're having a good day/night!
Hope you don't mind, could we get Caine, ragatha and kinger with a S/O reader who laments they wanted to have kids before getting stuck in the circus, and now worry that might be something they won't get to have now stuck in the circus? Sometimes they hesitantly ask if, if they ever got back to the real world, would it be something they would also want? Thinking about a possible future outside the circus makes them feel just a little better
If that's okay!
Caine, Ragatha, and Kinger w/ a partner who wants kids
Ooooo boy this ones gonna hurt, I havent even started writing but my heart aches
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CAINE:
He looks...
Sad
He cant leave the digital world, so the idea of having children with you
Even if you escaped
It just cant happen
For once he goes quiet and you can tell something is wrong
The fact he may not he able to leave, as an AI, never crosses your mind
He seems to become
Sad?
When you grieve over the loss of the children you never got to have
Sure, he could probably make NPC children, but that's not the same nor does it feel right
I think this would also serve as a harsh reminder to him that if you leave the circus, he cannot follow you. It also reminds him just how different the two of you are
RAGATHA:
The question actually gives her pause, when you finally drop it
She never really thought about kids, I mean yeah sure shes thought about the possibility of escape, but kids?
She's not... fully opposed to the idea, I think.. she also doesn't think she'd make the worst mother, with her naturally caring personality
I think this actually gives her hope that one day you guys might be able to escape
Together
Please dont abstract and give up on her, it would break her heart. Both because shes lost you, and because the future you two were planning will now never happen
KINGER:
I like to think that kinger was a father before getting trapped in the circus
And it hurts knowing he doesn't currently remember his kids
Would their memories return if they escaped the circus? Or would they only remember the circus and onwards?
Both hurt, I think. On one hand, the first option will give kinger that guilt and make him feel like he accidentally abandoned his children. On the other hand, these kids now have a father that doesnt recognize him
But onto the actual requests question, I think he would be very open to it! He strikes me as a family man, would love to have at least a few kids with you
When you escaped
When
That word does something to him, and he cant exactly explain why
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latenuitrambles · 5 months
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Self-aware AU for Kaeya?
Note: Sorry this took time I had college stuff and I also wanted to complete Kaeya's hangout first? and I think that was the right move because it actually has a lot to do with fate and I think that inspired me a lot while writing this!!!!!
CW: nothing much?? a bit of yandere? minor spoilers for Kaeya's story. not proofread so might have spelling and grammar errors
As usual criticism and reblogs and highly appreciated ! please guys if you genuinely think some part can be a bit better i would love to know as i am trying to improve my writing!!
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The day that kaeya realises that he was part of a video game, I think he would be very conflicted.
All his life he has tried to defy the ‘Fate’ of Teyvat and tried to overwrite his destiny and to suddenly discover that all his life is essentially planned from beginning to end for other people to ‘play’ and seek enjoyment?? Something about it infuriates him so much
But once he calms down and reorganizes his emotions, I think he would slowly start planning ways to break out of the prewritten story.
Subtly trying to get you to make certain choice in the story, trying to influence your actions.
If he cannot write his own destiny then he will make sure you will do so for him.
In his obsession to influence you I think he might slowly even start to get attached to you.
It feels wrong yes but slowly he realise you are essentially the only person in this ‘world’ who knows all about him, his conflicted family background, his relations with Khaenri'ah, the choice he would have to make, the sometimes questionable methods he uses to enact justice.
You and the only person who can see through his mask and maybe eventually when youre playing with just him he would slowly start letting his guard down.
However complicated the relation between you guys might be with him being trapped in a game and all, there is something so comforting about you knowing all parts of him and still loving his character or him being your favorite.
He doesn't want to admit it but kaeya actually do longs for genuine affection, especially after his father abandoned him, his adoptive father died and his falling out with diluc, the only person he was truly close to, you have one again ignited that warm feeling inside his chest.
Now depending on the scenario I can even see him becoming slightly obsessive, maybe if he sees you take his artifacts for some other character, or playing with someone else more.
Maybe he would try to force your game to choose him so that he gets to spend more time with you.
He might look for ways to reach you outside the game, after al he is slowly getting impatient having to wait everyday for you to log in. He thinks he he can become aware of you and of the game then there might be some way to escape the game reality??
He might also try to use your outsider knowledge of the games secrets to change the fate and basically use it to his advantage??
He might even add new voice lines in your game as if trying to talk to you, slowly changing his idles maybe even try to comfort you if you are sad. You would be confused at first, but Kaeya will not let you get away from him now.
You have given him a new purpose and advantage in his life and he will make sure you never leave him.
Self aware kaeya would both be angry at the predestined nature if the game and also grateful because now he can use it to his advantage to try to change the fate of Teyvat using knowledge from your archives. He is unsure about how to cope with the fact that he might be essentially just a fragment conjured by someone's imagination but at the same time meeting you was the best thing in his life and one day he will find a way to break out from the simulated reality of Teyvat and this game. After all Kaeya is nothing if not unrelenting and ambitious.
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Text
Writeblr Re(rere)intro that's a year late!
Hi! I'm Pax, and I write Big Books that keep getting darker and darker in subject matter 🎉🎉
Basics about me:
he/him or they/them, Mid 20s
Favorite genres: Fantasy, SciFi, Horror, Mystery
Favorite authors: N. K. Jemisin, Tamsyn Muir, Brandon Sanderson, Pierce Brown, Samantha Shannon
Other things I do: Digital art (including commissions!), Twitch streams (usually art or writing sprints, occasionally video games), digital art assets and fonts (PWYW on Ko-Fi!)
Basics about my WIPs:
THE MILLENNIUM SAGA
High fantasy/Steampunk epic, 8 books planned. Book one: Firebreathers (160k words; ~700 pages) Book two: Echoseers (148k words; ~600 pages) Book three: Goddess-Touched (15k as of posting; 3rd attempt at drafting) First person, Multi POV What starts as a simple rebellion against their local Citylord becomes a flight - and fight - for their lives, as Ember Timber, their family, and their newfound friends are forced to flee overseas from the vengeful general who will stop at nothing to earn her Eternal King's favor, and will in fact relish hunting her own son and grandchildren for sport. But along the way, the crew learns that the Eternal King's immortality was not granted in return for his success as the Chosen One long ago, as they have always been told - and the sacrifice for such a thing is not only paid dearly in blood, but on its way to being repeated.
WHISPERS
Dark fantasy Noir. Currently with beta readers. 172k words; ~750 pages. First person, Dual POV. Set in the same world as Millennium Saga, ~5 years after the series concludes. Marika Swiftfoot owes her life to the Shadow of Fowden, the sorceress leader of a terroristic crime syndicate based in the north pole. When the man she once loved finally comes to collect on that life debt ten years later, she plans to kill him the moment it's safe. Too soon, after all, and everyone else she's ever loved will join him beyond the Veil. But hate isn't the only feeling that lingers between them, and when they're offered another way out of their debts, the lives of a few innocents looks like a bargain compared to the life of cruelty ahead of them. Lorelei has been hunting the Shadow for twenty years, and looking for the sister who disappeared for thirty. And here, names are legacies: she wants to earn Hopebringer before her legs give out for good, to erase the stain her father's name has left with Vowbreaker. And for that, she sees one way forward: she must never break her vows, no matter how small. The Shadow must die, and the Whispers with her. Her sister must be found, even if all that's left to find is a story. She must find answers for every case she takes on, even if she doesn't know so much as the name of the man who's gone missing.
THE LOST
Space opera webcomic. First scene fully illustrated; will release once the first chapter is complete, a week after Patrons receive the final scene. In the far reaches of space, the term "Media Empire" is quite literal; the Watchers have extended their influence throughout their galaxy filament with the help of their beloved Coliseum, and the Champion therein. After all, having a shapeshifter capable of replicating anything leads to some gruesome, spectacular fights, made all the more heartrending when they are the last of their kind, trapped in the ship molded from their kin's corpse. But while the Watchers have total control over what happens in the pit, they cannot predict the audience. And they certainly cannot predict the malfunctioning psychic implant of an assassin in the front row, and the loss of both opponents and a long-time prisoner of war to the escape.
I also post art of all of these semi-regularly, including in-progress stuff, as well as excerpts and rambling braindumps!! I'm also a huge worldbuilding nerd, so if you ever want to learn more about the worlds I'm writing, don't be afraid to ask!! I love talking about them :D
Boosts are appreciated <3 tell me about your own WIPs in the tags/replies/wherever!! I love learning about what people are working on!
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novelconcepts · 5 months
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Another year, another absurd amount of books read (296, because if I wasn't reading or writing this year, my brain was on fire). I was asked again for my top books of the year, so here we go: 2023's top 10, in no particular order.
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This was the first book I read of the year--literally, vacated the hangout with my wife and sibling-in-laws to sit on their couch upstairs and eat through it. Do you love The Fall of the House of Usher, but wish for a nonbinary protagonist and a lot more mushrooms? This is the book for you! (T. Kingfisher is fucking rad, I made a concerted effort to only list ONE of her books on here, but honorable mention goes to The Twisted Ones for fucking me upppp.)
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A gay, post-apocolyptic Pinocchio retelling involving copious robots, found family elements, and a cool-ass treehouse. Klune always hits for me with his unrepentant queer family dynamics and sense of humor. Honorable mention to the first two in the Green Creek series (although that's got a lot more...adult elements in among the werewolves, you've been warned).
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I thiiiink I found this through The Homo Schedule podcast (PSA: if you missed out on Jasmin Savoy Brown and Liv Hewson doing a podcast together, now you know better), and it wrecked my shit. Tons of trigger warnings, as this is a memoir about abuse within a queer relationship, but it's so beautifully written. I personally suggest listening to the audiobook first, then standing anxiously behind someone at a book warehouse sale, hoping they'll set down the only paperback copy so you can swipe it.
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A fantastical-historical reimagining in which the KKK is filled with literal monsters, and Black women are resistance fighters armed to take them out. Visceral and intense, and truly an excellent horror story.
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Just. Such a soft time travel story about a daughter and her father and cherishing the time you get with loved ones. I was thoroughly unprepared for how lovely I found this one. It's very kind.
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Spooky house, take-no-shit redhead, protective sibling elements, bisexual recluse with a sword who really just needs a nap. I haven't found a Harrow book yet I haven't slapped five stars on. She's so good at character and atmosphere, and I'm always surprised at how fast her stories race by.
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The whole Daevabad trilogy (of which this is the first book) is just magical. A girl from the mortal world finds herself embroiled with the centuries-long prejudices and wars of djinn in a fantastical city. It's one of the rare stories of its kind that does have a love triangle, but doesn't feel like a love triangle; it's far less interested in the insufferable "who gets picked" than it is in the actual horrors these people are both perpetrating and coping with. It's an intoxicating ride.
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Fuck You, TERFS: the book. Given that fact, there's obviously quite a lot of transphobia to deal with, but it's very clear that those people are wrong, and it's a super-engaging (and super-oh-god-what-comes-next) witchy time populated with queer, protective, interesting characters I'm excited to see again in the follow-up.
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Have you ever wanted a haunted house story with visceral imagery and a rather lovely twist? Gailey has you covered. As much as I enjoyed The Echo Wife, I think I actually loved this one more, and it makes me so excited to see what else they've got up their sleeve.
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One of my final reads for the year, when I was just churning through hardcovers at the speed of sound. I love this book. I recognize it won't be for everyone, but it takes so much of what I love about IT (one of my all-time favorite books, despite its flaws) and twists it through the lens of an author who escaped the Mormon church. It's horrific, it's fantastically abstract in places, it explores childhood and memory, imagination and abuse, and almost every character is queer. It's a great "I simply cannot sleep until I've finished" read.
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