#I can feel my bones corroding but I’m balling nonetheless | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hellomissmabel · 7 years

Text

Lumen (part 13/ ): Mad intentions

MASTERLIST

Previously: part 12 & epilogue to part 12

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Summary of part 13: You and Bucky take care of each other in the aftermath of an unexpected explosion and something bad happens, something really bad happens.

Warnings: language, angst, cliffhanger!

Word count: 2.276 (without background information).

A/N: I JUST REACED 1K FOLLOWERS LIKE 20 MINUTES AGO!!! THANK YOU FOR 1K FOLLOWERS OMG!

Background: Iona Cole is a perky, gifted and ambitious assistant to a critically acclaimed professor at a renowned university. That is, until she snaps in the middle of class, the auditorium packed with students on introduction day. Having a long family history of psychiatric diseases, her mother sends her to a private clinic to receive the best treatment. In reality, this institute for people with “special needs” is a smokescreen for the underground operation Hydra is running there.

Soft lilac tendrils reach out to his dull blue presence, the power behind our connection drawing me to him almost instantly. But there’s something different about it, I can feel it in every bone in my body, a darker light shining, no - weighing down on us. Something has shifted and it’s pulsating with strong volts of electricity, strengthening my will to fight the pain and crawl my way over to Bucky, still lying unconscious on the concrete sidewalk.

There’s a huge gash in my side so I ripped off a piece of my shirt and balled it up to stop the bleeding. I bite my tongue to keep the focus on my objective, on Bucky, as I slowly but surely approach his figure. Inch by inch I move closer, all the while a tender butterfly tugs at the wisps of fire growing strong inside of me. I can feel a certain power surging, one I have not encountered before, begging me to release it. To make matters worse, sizzling flames surround me, lure me in with their loving song of ashes and unmistakable promise of invulnerability. I cannot lose consciousness, I won’t allow it. His Lumen is strong, pulling me forward, pulling my Lumen forward. This kind of attraction cannot be overpowered.

There’s a quiet buzzing in my left ear from the aftermath of the explosion, my head feels as if it’s seconds away from exploding as well and a stray piece of corroded metal is stuck in my ankle. I can’t move properly but I have to, I have to make sure Bucky is okay. I cradle his face between my hands, carefully lifting his head up to check for any injuries. It appears the only wound he suffered from that ghastly blast is a small scratch right above his left eye socket. Lucky bastard and his super soldier stamina. Fortunately my cuts will heal fast as well, if only I could get rid of this metal thing stuck in my leg and have it cleaned up as soon as possible before it starts to infect. Infections take much longer to heal and I hate being put to bed my momma Steve, I just loathe his mom-voice.

“Doll…,” I hear Bucky mumble, his voice rough from the effort it takes to regain control of his senses, “Doll, is that you?”

Little by little he pries his eyes open, stormy blue pupils squinting as they adjust to the light. “Yeah, it’s me Bucky. I’m alright, just a little sore. What about you?,” I ask quietly, my voice more than a little hoarse as well, sounding more like nails being dragged across chalkboard than a choir of angels singing a hallelujah.

“We should get out of here. Can you get up?”

“Nope,” I say with obvious disappointment, popping the ‘p’ and gesturing towards my ankle.

Bucky sits up straight and assesses me from head to toe, inspecting my injuries and I let out a strained yelp as he suddenly and without warning pulls out the metal appendage from my ankle. That prick didn’t even think to give me a warning first. But immediately after he pulls me as close as humanly possible until the pain subsides and I am able to regain my senses, consumed by the positive force that is his Lumen. I can see it reach out to me, encase me with its tenderness and replenish my heart with soft yet urgent energy.

It’s then that I realise he must feel it too, the change in atmosphere and as I press my lips on his with burning need, the shades of our Lumen changing again. They turn less dim every second my body melts more and more into his and I don’t let go until the fireworks behind my closed eyelids subside and some of his Lumen’s original colour has been restored. It’s less dark, less foreboding, yet not quite reaching its full potential. Maybe it’s the present scenery, the aftershock of a mission gone south that wraps its poisonous tentacles around us. Or maybe it’s the unfamiliar opaque nature of my deep burgundy Lumen that’s got me on edge.

“Let’s get out of here,” Bucky suggests, a little out of breath by our intense (yet short, much to my dismay, I just can’t get enough of him) make-out session in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by debris and whatnot. “We can’t stay here for much longer before back-up arrives. Other operatives might spot us and try to take us out.”

I nod vigorously and Bucky lifts me up in his arms, carrying me bridal-style to our getaway vehicle. I lay my head to rest on his shoulder, closing my eyes and replaying previous events to find the answer to my most pressing question, what the fuck went wrong? (I know, language! Sorry about that, Steve!) But what the fudge went wrong? It was supposed to be a piece of cake and yet here we both are, covered in scratches and dust, our clothes torn to shreds as we were obviously blind-sided by an unexpected explosion.

As if he could read my thoughts, Bucky’s voice wakes me up from my silent ponderations. “Their security system is set up in a way that, if there’s ever a security breach, the system will short-circuit automatically causing the whole facility go up in flames within minutes.”

My eye lids flutter open, focusing on my surroundings before realising I’m already on board of the jet and Bucky is preparing everything for take-off. “But there were still people inside,” I whisper sullenly.

Of course Hydra doesn’t care for a bit more blood on their hands and even though they weren’t innocent, the loss of each life always weighs heavy on my heart nonetheless. I know it’s not my burden to carry and it’s certainly of much use now, I just can’t help but wave around the energy that has escaped the facility, looking for a sign, any sign that someone out there might have survived the explosion. Nothing, not a shred of human energy to be detected amidst the flames except for our own.

“I’m sorry, Io. I’m truly sorry,” Bucky’s hand cups my cheek, his calloused thumb drawing soft circles on my skin stained by smoke and dirt and freshly shed tears. For a short second his Lumen mixes with mine again as his thumb brushes over my lips. I gently peck his fingertip before he retreats his hand again and I try my very best not to whine at the loss of contact. Nevertheless, Bucky picks up on it and shoots me a sincere smile, his eyes softening when he realises my disappointment is merely a disguise for something that runs much, so much deeper.

“What’s wrong, baby?,” he inquires, his husky voice deeper than usual, a tinge of tiredness shining through. His movements are quick and determined as he closes the short distance between us, settling on his knees in front of me and taking my hands in his, pressing a butterfly kiss on the superficial scrapes littering my palm and knuckles. “What’s going on, doll? Talk to me, please,” he begs with those insufferably gorgeous blue puddles.

You try to defy gravity and suppress the tears but small drops have already made contact with Bucky’s fingertips as he gently catches them and wipes them away affectionately. You don’t want to cry but can’t help it, you feel so embarrassed, so embarrassed to show these kind of emotions towards your boyfriend.

“It’s all my fault,” you choke out, a strangled sob leaving the back of your throat. “I messed up and now Fury will put me away and I won’t be able to see you anymore. Please don’t let him put me away, I can’t live without you. I can’t breathe without you, you’re like air to me and people need air to breathe, right? Shit, I’m rambling but I don’t care and fuck, I can’t breathe. Bucky, please, Bucky, I can’t breathe.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Bucky shushes, taking you into his arms, rocking back and forth, his fingers rubbing soothing circles on your back. “None of this is your fault. We didn’t know the place was going to self-destruct itself once they discovered the intel had been stolen. We didn’t fail, Io, you didn’t fail. You acted like a true S.H.I.E.L.D agent out there, so if this is anyone’s fault, it’s Fury’s. He didn’t fill us in properly, we lacked correct information and there was nothing we could have done to prevent this,” he whispers into your ear, pecking a chaste kiss to the shell of your ear before burying his nose in your hair.

You’re clutching him like you’ve never done before, like he is your lifeline and perhaps he is. The further removed he is, the more weak you feel and the more your Lumen seems to swirl in sync with Bucky’s, dark patches of cerulean blue doing a poor job at holding yours together like band-aids on an open wound. Something is not right and you’re holding on to Bucky for dear life because you’re afraid that they’ll take him away from you at any given moment.

To be honest, you’ve never been more afraid in your entire life. You can deal with the chaos of being a field agent if need be, but you can’t face a reality without Bucky by your side. You can conquer death as many times as your body and soul will allow it, but you can’t die knowing you never confessed your true feelings to Bucky. You love him and damn, you love him more than your own life.

After the initial shock subsides and you regain some of your calm, you slightly crane your neck so your noses almost touch and your lips are but inches away. “I love you Bucky, I love you so much and you have no idea. I don’t deserve you, Bucky,” you murmur against his plump lips, leaning your forehead against his.

“Don’t,” he releases a sharp sigh, “Don’t ever say you don’t deserve me.”

You know exactly what he means by that but decide to let it slide. You’re in no condition to argue with him and frankly, you just want to be held, his embrace providing your with enough comfort to soothe your spiralling nerves and give you some sense of relief.

“Iona Cole, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to be and I don’t know what on earth I did to deserve someone as kind-hearted and beautiful as you. You light up my entire existence with those eyes, you make me forget my name with those lips. You and I, we are one and I love you.”

His words do not wash you clean of all frightening thoughts, your mind working overtime and coming up with countless worst-case scenarios until you can safely make it back to the compound. But he did just confess his love for you and you can’t help but shoot him a shit-eating grin. “I love you,” you repeat, pouring every single feeling you have ever experienced into these three words.

Although these three words are the most meaningful words that have ever left your mouth, they also awaken a strong power inside of you, an electric chord being pulled like a rubber band and resisting the urge to snap. You ache for him but it’s an unfamiliar ache, not the kind you feel when you want his hands on your body or his lips on yours. This is a dangerous kind of electricity hanging in the air.

“We should get going,” you whisper silently and slowly retract yourself from his arms. “Steve will be worried sick if we don’t make it back on time.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Bucky lets out a light chuckle and makes his way back towards the pilot seat.

You’re just about ready for take-off when you spot it from the corner of your eye, held hostage by an enormous waft of black energy, a small piece of bright red Lumen swivelling mid-air and protruding a peculiar kind of energy. Right as you are about to tap into it, get a better feel of its essence, a bullet flies by and hits the window up front. If it wasn’t for Bucky pushing you aside, it would not have missed its mark. Swiftly pulling out your gun, you aim it in the general direction you believe the bullet came from and the intruder might have entered the jet. Bucky immediately comes up at your side, a feral and almost murderous look darkening his face and hardening the grey specs in his oceanic eyes.

“Who are you?,” you call out and if circumstances would’ve been different, you would’ve been pleased to hear the strength your voice radiates and marvel at the impressive echo.

Just as you hear something rustling on your right, a hard object hits you from behind and a second bullet pierces your right shoulder. Someone pushes you into an impossible angle causing your head to snap back and you tumble to the floor with a loud smack. It feels as if your body explodes into tiny smithereens on impact and you scream at the top of your lungs at the intensity of this startling sensation.

You sense the panic clouding Bucky’s Lumen as he rushes to your aid, the unknown presence taking advantage of the opening in Bucky’s guard and soon he crashes down next to you, blood pooling all around him. His chagrined growls turn into pained whimpers, the last thing to reach your ears before the lights go out and everything turns dark again.

Part 14: Wicked intentions

Tagging: @beccaanne814-blog @hymnofthevalkyries @italwaysendsinafightt @feelmyroarrrr @shamvictoria11 @gloriavox @iwillbeinmynest @38leticia @buckyhawk @marvel-lucy @sgt-jbb-107 @mehrmonga @sammedrano @mrshopkirk @a-little-hell-to-raise @skeletoresinthebasement @marvelingatthewonder @winterwolf57 @winterboobaer @amrita31199 @shadowpriestess6 @nenyakj @themcuhasruinedme @youandb @hardcorehippos @4theluvofall @writing-soldiers @justareader

70 notes · View notes