#I am so sorry how self-indulgent this is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thebibliosphere · 7 months

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From what I've seen, I think the Batkids would like your book.

Hunger Pangs? You flatter me.

But also, yes thank you for this particular strain on self-indulgent brain rot. I am going to be absolutely abnormal about this.

I’d like to imagine Dick picks it up at an airport somewhere on his way back from a trip and becomes hooked on the “clever, pretty, jumps-from balconies-for-the-thrill-of-the-fall vampire and goes, “oh, same.”

The fact that it’s got a rugged, soldiery werewolf with a heart of gold who enforces self-care as a form of kink-play is also doing stuff to his brain. (That’s a thing? He can… he can ask someone for that? Who does he ask for that? It’s been weeks since he slept more than a few hours and ate more than cereal for dinner. Seriously, who does he ask? How much is it? He’s got money. He’ll pay.) The uh, the need for validation and the budding praise kink is also hitting a little too close to home.

As is “all powerful witch with the power to pick you up with her mind and throw you around like a rag doll.” (LiStEN, he spent a large chunk of his formative years surrounded by tight spandex suits, villains with sexy mind control pollen and getting kidnapped and tied up every other week. It’s not his fault he’s Like This.)

He’s not mad about it, though.

Babs catches him re-reading it during downtime. She’s not even that interested, more asking what it is to be polite, but the way Dick jumps and turns red, like he didn’t even realize she was in the room is… intriguing.

“I can see why you like it,” she says, several days later, casually drinking her coffee while Dick stares straight ahead, willing the floor to open up and swallow him whole. “Magic, politics. Saving the world from certain doom with the power of knowledge and ecological preservation.” She glances sideways at him. “Vlad’s got some interesting quirks.”

“Shut up.”

“Are we sure you’ve not been compromised?”

“Babs, I mean it.”

“Mean what?” Tim appears in the kitchen as though from nowhere, pouring a red bull into the coffee pot.

No one tries to stop him.

“Dick’s reading a new book,” Babs says, ignoring the murderous look Dick sends her way.

“Oh? What book? Is it any good?”

“Uh, yeah, uh.” Dick rubs at the back of his neck, glaring daggers at Babs as she rolls out of the room, cackling. “It’s uh, romance. Kind of silly actually…”

“Oh?”

Dick nods. “It’s got a vampire and a werewolf. Two guys. And a… well she’s just sort of magic. They break into a library to save the world from ecological disaster. They’re all bi. Together. Or they will be in the next book. This one’s more about the vampire and the werewolf getting together. Um...”

Tim’s gone very still in the way he does when his brain has caught hold of something and he’s absolutely about to let it consume him. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Dick shrugs. “It’s got some kink in it,” he warns, not wanting to expose his younger brother to something he’s not ready for. Which is ludicrous because he’s Robin. And from the way Tim’s not drinking his ‘coffee’ he can tell this is only going to go one way no matter what he says. He brightens, remembering something. “But there’s, like, a non smutty version too? Or a less smutty version, I guess? I don’t know, I haven’t read it yet. I could, we could go to the bookstore, maybe stop at the art store too…”

“I’ll meet you in the car.”

“So,” Jason says, and Dick can already tell where this is going by the shit-eating grin on his face. “Vampires, huh? Or is it more the werewolves you’re into?”

“Who told you?” Dick bemoans. “Was it Babs?” He bets it was Babs. Fucking Babs.

“Oh, no one told me anything Boy Wonder. Tim found out the author has a go-fund-me for some medical shit that exceeded his monthly allowance and he’s been harassing Bruce to “fix it” for several days now. He’s down in the cave making a nuisance of himself right now. Apparently he quote “needs more of the bisexual monster books Dick told him about” unquote, and the author can’t do shit if she up and fucking dies because this country’s a fucking for-profit shit hole.”

Dick places his head in his hands. “Oh, God. Is Bruce mad? He’s mad, isn’t he?”

Jason shrugs. “Couldn’t tell you. Last I heard, Tim was playing him the audiobook over the bat computer to make his case.”

Dick let’s his head thump against the table. This is it. This is his villain origin story. He’s going to run away and join the Rogues. Or maybe he’ll go back to the Circus. Either option is better than the idea of having to meet Bruce’s eye later over the dinner table.

“Personally, I thought the plot was a little weak but the characters are compelling,” Jason says, sipping his herbal tea. “I liked the chill necromancer doctor. I feel like he’d be able to fix me.”

#batfam #hunger pangs: true love bites #I’m sorry #I am so sorry how self-indulgent this is #But also i don’t care

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iindigoeyed · 10 months

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i imagine felix explained to kagami that he was transmasc and she was like "you can do that? really?!" and then felix lent them his old binder and well, you get it.

bonus:

#miraculous ladybug #kagami tsurugi #felix fathom #felix graham de vanily #feligami #miraculous fanart #trans #kagami is also wearing his pants too ehehe #probably doesn't own any bc strict mother :( so she had to borrow his #my kagami is agender btw! they/she pronouns #This is so SO self indulgent. i have no regrets. Enjoy.#i hope you like t4t feligami. you will be seeing a LOT of it from me.#they are very precious to meee <333 #please nobody mention how terrible those pants are. I hated every moment of shading them.#god i am so sick of looking at this. Sorry for any obvious mistakes. i am very tired. i have been working on this for 3 days #tumblr please dont ruin my image quality i worked very hard for those crisp colors i'll cry #EDIT quietly fixes the panel where felix's sleeve is missing.........#indigarts

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fisheito · 27 days

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collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS

#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo.#says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking #my immediate thought was #i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him #bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent #but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally #it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched....#so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti.#configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying #the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias #then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought #i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him #AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND #originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went #WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN #BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing.#plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS #but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it #i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding #so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown #i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said #kuya #yakumo #yakuya

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halebobgr · 9 months

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who were you, really?

#ff7 #sefikura #sephiroth #cloud strife #advent children #crisis core #i will never get over how much it hurts that #sephiroth simply does not remember angeal and genesis #i am praying gackt #sorry i mean genesis #in rebirth appears and thats kinda explored a bit #it would hurt so good #completely self indulgent ramblings #sketch

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lizstiel · 1 year

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Dean’s sitting at the kitchen table eating meatloaf when it all sort of hits – and he’s desperate to remember it exactly how it happened.

With his fork raised halfway to his mouth, a dollop of meat and sauce perched precariously on the tines, his eyes wandered over to where Cas stood by the sink in a pair of ratty pajama bottoms and one of Dean’s old t-shirts. (One of Dean’s old t-shirts, because once Cas gets his shoulders into them they never really sit the same way.)

He’s got soap up to his elbows, scrubbing methodically at the dishes Dean just dirtied, his brow a taught, concentrated line. He’s bringing the same kind of meticulous focus to the dishes that he used to bring to leading the armies of Heaven; that singular kind of attention, both unnerving and admirable. (Dean had once tried to explain that he didn’t need to wash them quite so vigorously, to which Cas had deadpanned, “Do you know how many food particles remain on the dishes you wash, Dean?” It quickly became his job, after that.)

It’s early July. About 6:30pm. The window over the sink is cracked, and the front door is wide open, letting the sound of cicadas and crickets drift in with the summer breeze. The sun’s starting to set behind the field, casting the world in that particular orange glow that has always made something in Dean ache. In the other room, the record player Sam got them for Christmas plays a beat up Janis Joplin record he’d found at a secondhand store in town. The opening chords of Me and Bobby McGee have just started, and the cicadas are humming, and the crickets are singing, and the sun is setting, and Cas is standing in old pajamas washing dishes Dean just used to make them dinner and –

Cas tilts his head.

This isn’t revolutionary. He does it a lot. A very ingrained behavior, some might say. But he isn’t confused, he’s reacting. To the song. He doesn’t react to music the way Dean wants him to, never has, but in his own way, it’s almost like he’s leaning closer to hear it. An infinitesimal thing. The smallest gesture. The corner of his mouth twitches, and Dean has never loved him more than he does at this moment: backlit by a summer sunset in their house in the middle of nowhere, hand washing dishes and listening to Janis Joplin.

Cas turns when the sound of Dean’s fork clattering on the plate sounds, but Dean just scoops him into his arms, chases any worries away with a kiss, and then another, and then one more for good measure. Cas laughs against his mouth, desperately trying to keep his soapy arms away from Dean’s dry clothes. “Dean,” he chides, squirming and chuckling, trying to extract himself from Dean’s grip. “I’m not finished.”

“I’ll get ‘em tomorrow,” Dean promises, peppering sweet little kisses down the line of Cas' throat. He hasn’t shaved in a couple of days. It tickles all the way down. “Love you so much,” he says, because he wants to. Because he’s so full with it he’s overflowing. Because if he doesn’t tell him right now, in this moment, and every moment after this one, he might die. He needs him to know. It’s vital that he knows.

Cas’ laughter warms, and he slides one soapy hand to the back of Dean’s neck, eyebrows raised in challenge when he shudders at the sensation. When Dean doesn’t immediately shoo him away, he slides the other soapy hand up Dean’s arm. “Dean?” He’s not worried, the timber of his voice is honey-smooth and light, but he’s confused. Not that Dean doesn’t tell him often, and loudly, how much he loves him, but to be fair this did kind of come from nowhere, so he understands. It’s just much too much. It’s not enough and it’s everything. It’s everything in the world Dean has ever wanted.

Janis Joplin is singing freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose, and Dean’s arms are loose around Cas’ waist, and he loves him, god he loves him so much, so he kisses him on one corner of the mouth, and then the other. Janis says, nothin’, don’t mean nothin’ hon’ if it ain’t free, no, no – and he rocks their bodies together, slow, to the beat of the music. Cas’ arms come to wind around his neck automatically, and his smile starts to sprawl into something reserved for only the really good moments. Wide and gummy and for Dean – and feelin’ good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues. He presses his forehead to Cas’ and they just sort of sway there like that, smiling at each other like this might be the last chance they ever get.

Cas says – “I love you, Dean,” just as Janis is singing, you know feelin’ good was good enough for me – and it occurs to Dean that he’s dancing in the kitchen with the love of his life. He thinks back to the longest, loneliest nights he spent staring up at the night sky, believing wholly he’d die bloody and alone on the backend of some random hunt, and how the smallest (but loudest) part of him had wished for exactly this. For someone to hold him and see him and dance in the kitchen with him, barefoot and covered in soap.

He kisses the tip of Cas’ nose, the lines under his eyes. Doesn’t realize he’s crying until Cas is wiping tears away with the pads of his thumbs and soothing hands through his hair. He’s crying, too. Laughing and crying and telling Dean he loves him, he loves him so much, he’s loved him from the first moment he saw him.

It settles in Dean then – really settles deep, and true, and good – that he was meant for this. He wasn’t born to be a weapon. Wasn’t born to be a son, or a father, or a brother. Wasn’t born to save the world or to end it – was just meant to dance. His arms were meant to hold. To sway them both around the cheap linoleum floor, to sling low around Cas’ waist and spin them both ‘til they were dizzy with it.

They laugh and kiss and Janis is saying – good enough for me and Bobby McGee – and Dean is thinking – Yeah. Yeah, it really is.

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bbqphantom · 2 months

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thinkin about his 1963 opel kadett horse

#richard hammond #top gear #guys i am so unbelievably obsessed with this au ..............#yk its serious when i bring out the drawing tablet..........#yk youre cooked when YOU LEARN HOW TO DRAW HORSES 😭#just gonna start tagging this as #cowboy au #for now #can you tell i like drawing stars :P #ok sorry YEah enough yapping Enjoy more self indulgent art of ricahrd #my art shit

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sshcomic · 5 months

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You have given me a great joy in life with your Renkaza au

May I ask, what happened to the rest of the Kamado family? Did they get their canon ending or are they with Nezuko as they try to deal with her new demonification?

oh yay im glad you're enjoying it so far! 🥰

nezuko's actually with her brother in the box, like in canon lol. i just havent drawn her--or inosuke or zenitsu--in the panels we've seen, but they're there!

as for the rest of the kamados... i actually havent decided LOL. my instinct is to save everyone, since this is a light-hearted comic strip, but also i'm not sure i'd be able to reliably write that since it involves more plot than the "stupid jokes loosely following canon" i mostly have written down aha. so i suppose it's a surprise for now, even for myself.

i guess we'll see!

#thanks for the ask 💖#sorry if this isnt a satisfying answer but i genuinely dont know rn haha #rei replies #ssh extras #like the thing is. the thing is i had like a short emotional 'i see you' moment planned out between renkaza #for when upper six die but if i save the kamados then i feel obligated to save gyu and ume which means id have to rejig that #and i have Ideas for how but they lean into the kind of fluff that feels so divorced from canon idk if i actually want to write it???#bc i do also love me some angst. hnn. i suppose we'll see how self-indulgent i decide to be about this #but looking at the way im characterizing hakuji u can tell im already being pretty self-indulgent LOL. 😂#so yeah it's a surprise even for me! but i AM leaning toward the 'everyone lives' route rn.#it's just. upper moons 4 and 5 are much harder to want to save versus upper moon 6 yknow. or even 1 &2.#but it'd be weird to be like 'f those guys in particular' lol. u can see my conundrum.#at the same time... this is my story so i can do what i want to??? hm.#WE'LL SEE.

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tired-little-fawn · 1 year

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Physically I am here but mentally I am resting my head on my F/O's chest and listening to his heartbeat.

#🌸fawn is thinking about his beloved again #🌸fawn is self indulgent once again #self ship #self shipping community #f/o community #i dont know how to tag sorry #bad writing i'm sorry #I am so willing to take a nap rn

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kylejsugarman · 6 months

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Idk if you’ve answered this already but at what point in their relationship did Jesse tell Demi ab his past? How did that go over? How much does she know?

ive mentioned it some before but i haven't really gone super in depth!! as u all may know, i am very "and then everyone made it to alaska and everything ended up ok!! :)" minded, so i dont have a big dramatic revelation beat to my story and ultimately, jesse never tells demi that he's living under a completely new identity. however, he does tell her a Lot of other things, partially because he trusts her, partially because he feels guilty keeping things from her that might make her see him differently; he feels that she deserves to know how fucked up he is so she can escape him and avoid tying herself down to a mistake. jesse first tells her about his drug use after demi explains how her sister died, again out of that guilt and the expectation that she won't want to associate with a former(ish) addict, but demi saw firsthand how powerful addiction can be and isnt scared off. when it comes to his criminal history, it takes him a little longer to work up the nerve to disclose that stuff: he's afraid of both endangering her by letting her know what he's done and losing her. he drops a few things along the way, usually related to drug dealing and production since she was so understanding of that aspect of his past, but once they decide to get married, he feels that he owes it to her to be totally honest. the dark details of making and selling the drugs, being around violence and controlling figures. enacting violence himself. losing people. being sold into slavery. he leaves out specific identifying details (demi's never been a current events kind of person but he cant risk her connecting those dots) and places a lot of the blame on himself instead of trying to describe the people from his past who were pulling a lot of those strings. its basically an abridged version of the show's events, no names, no details in certain places (he doesnt even tell her which state he used to live in), and no forgiveness.

demi listens patiently the whole time, not asking many questions along the way. she tenses up when he touches on captivity, but otherwise her demeanor remains open and nonjudgmental. when it's over, she doesn't say anything, which is somehow worse than disgust. jesse is so wound up at this point that he flips out on her, insisting that this is her time to cut her losses. he's a criminal, a fucking murderer. he's evil. demi still doesnt react the way he wants and instead just waits until he's out of venom before reaching out to very gently smooth down his hair. petting the angry, upset dog instead of reflexively giving him away. "im sorry you've had to carry that around with you all this time," she says softly and that breaks him. because it Has been so hard carrying that around. demi asks a few more questions, clarifies a few more things, then tells him what she thinks. that she's seen how he acts now, how he treats people, how he treats himself. that she grew up with a father who sounds like the figures he alluded to in his story. that she is uncertain and insecure about a lot of things, but she's never been more sure that jesse is a good person and that she loves him irrespective of whatever came before. "im dangerous," he insists, a former fighting dog that would rather die than return to the ring. a hand on his own—"then why do i feel so safe with u?"

it's not perfect. there will always be things that jesse never shares with her and he will never totally forgive himself because as the one living person who knows the Extent of what went down, he feels that it's his responsibility to hold himself accountable for It for the rest of his life. demi's perception of him Does change, although not entirely in a negative way, and she is a little hurt that he expected her to bail so quickly and she can't lie and say that her mind doesn't occasionally drift to the fact that her husband has killed people. but at the end of the day, they're two broken people who were utterly convinced that their lives were over before they found each other. this is their second chance at life and they're never going to take that or each other for granted. whatever comes, they're going to face it together

#angrylesbianstereotype #ask #syd squeaks #i cannot fucking believe this. i cannot fucking believe u made me act up like this #i am SO SORRY in advance for how long and incoherent and just. flagrantly hand-wavey and self indulgent this is my god #jesse pinkman #demi ayuluk

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skrrtscree · 2 years

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might as well drop my crack conspiracy theory with no warning (don't take this too seriously this is a joke i swear im not crazy)

#persona #persona 3 #p3 #persona 5 #p5 #persona 5 morgana #p5 morgana #minato arisato #ryoji mochizuki #ryomina #i guess???#i am so sorry for whoever sees this #yes ik morgana was created by igor but let me have this #this is how my self indulgent au started btw #i saw how similar they looked and thought 'what if mrgana was sortof human in p5 and minato and ryoji were his guardians/parnets?'#or smth like that then it devolved into an angst filled doozy with two separate timelines #but thats a story for another day

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aquariium-ediits · 1 year

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N25 / 25ji Kaito Layouts, Requested By Nobody (Self Indulgent)

Notes: hehe. blue man. idk what else to say. these aren't great but we're learning as we go. uuuuuh live laugh love kaito.

reblog and credit if you use

#self indulgent✦#layouts #kaito #vocaloid #25 ji nightcord de #nightcord at 25:00 #nightcord kaito #project sekai #blue #hehe #icons #headers #uhmmm #whar else #idk how to tag things #especially if theyre not stimboarfs #*stimboards oopsies #i should have made another header #sorry i am so so busy (take that with a grain of salt) and so so lazy

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leqclerc · 1 year

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I literally never lose 😤🥺💕

#charles leclerc #okay so for context one of the people on the show was talking about having kids and how they want to name their first daughter beatrice #and im sorry but the timing of them cutting to charles in that exact moment .#i am thinking thoughts 🤔💭#this is completely 1000% self indulgent but i just had to put it out there after scarlet alerted me to this fact #amazing #type: video

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fowlblue · 7 months

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Was violently possessed by the urge to make a One Piece OC and I love them already >:3

#working on her ref as we speak cause I finally made a humanoid base so I can design them easier #also I am ignoring canon’s rules for the devil fruit. canon bows before me lol- it’s my sandbox and my action figures now.#I’m being self-indulgent and in a similar vein to Valentine making her a part of a canon character’s backstory. it’s fun.#sorry lol I’m just happy to design new stuff. especially when the rules for a design are so… loose. i mean. have you SEEN one piece.#it’s like how everyone designs warrior cats as silly as possible but People

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applepies-and-starlight · 2 months

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A couple of Ishmael centric fic bits before i pass out because it's 3am rn

#comet chasing #writings #in order of appearance:#nymphs of tempest au #scarlet ardor and chatvalier au #the former is really just my self indulgent bullshit taken to the extreme #basically (for this portion of it at least) it's an ishqueg kinda-reincarnation au where they've both become sea monsters/creatures #(kracken for ish and seal-selkie for quee)#ishy has a curse on her that binds her to another person (ruby)#it's by complete accident though so they're trying to figure out how to reverse it (as told in the fic bit)#anyway for the latter one... yeah.#post-dark cupid ishmael having a meltdown over enjoying her kissy time with don #and desperately trying to convince herself that she just did it out of nessecity and Did Not enjoy it in the slightest #her brain is not cooperating though #(not me projecting my home life and habits onto her ahahahahahaha.....)#(also i'm sorry if i don't write romance well/believably i'm aro and half of this shit flies over my head)#(i am primarily familiar with the stuff you see in movies)

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takohebi · 2 years

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Yuu + their lover(s)

sketches i probably wont colour/finish

#twisted wonderland #azul x yuu #jamil x yuu #azujamiyuu #my art #these are so self-indulgent #i am cringe but i am free #mer yuu is an angler fish #i have this whole azuyuu childhood friends thing in my head #idk if it'll ever see the light of day #i still feel a bit shy about posting yuu stuff #but w/e #lemon tea and pastries #it's funny how yuu doesn't like to eat #but their tag is about food lmao #sorry bby

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sunberry-strawflower · 9 months

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#curtissonweek2023

Here's my entry for day 2 of @blue-fanlady's curtisson week! I genuinely didn't know if I'd finish this in time but I DID IT!! Like day 1's fic, this one also went to hell in back but in different ways😭it's incredibly messy, but I tried and I think that's gotta count for something haha

Yes this is a typical type of overworking fic--I wasn't sure what else to do with the prompt sadly😔

Despite this, I hope you enjoy!

Possible CW(s): descriptions of fainting? Or the process of. Also multiple mentions of lack of sleep and eating. If any of these make you uncomfortable please don't read this.

Word count: 3.8k

Curtisson Week Day 2: Paperwork

"Are you sure you shouldn't rest a little?"

"Yes, Burt, I'm sure."

Burt sighed as his boyfriend once again brushed off his concerns. Sven was doing paperwork for The Toppat Clan. He recently got promoted to the leader position of his job under his own will because the previous leader and his Right Hand Man got arrested. Nobody else wanted to step up, so Sven decided, well, somebody had to do it.

However, he's been trying too hard to balance paperwork, the rocket plan, and managing the Toppat's all at once. It doesn't help that he doesn't have a right hand man like the previous leaders did.

He's been overworking himself and there's little Burt can do about it, which upsets him.

Sven is stubborn. If he feels something needs to be done, he needs it to be done right then.

Burt tries to talk to him about it, but Sven always claims it's fine and not to worry about it. But with his constant sleepless nights, noticeably snappier temper, constant headaches, and lack of energy and motivation to do anything other than work, work, work…Burt couldn't help but worry.

They haven't spent much time together lately either. Not just with him, but his relationships with his fellow Toppat members have been suffering.

He understood work can be stressful, especially if you're the leader of a massive criminal organization, but did Sven really need to push himself this hard?

Burt just looked at Sven with hints of concern as he continued to sign and flip through more and more paperwork. "Well, just…don't work too hard, alright?"

Burt didn't stay to see if Sven would answer him or not and just left the room, closing the door behind him.

Before Sven was promoted to leader, yes, he did have a tendency to overwork, but it never got this bad. And Burt was always there for him during those times. Always there to remind him to take care of himself. And more often than not, Sven remembered to at least take care of his own needs.

He was a lot more cheerful, friendly, and happier. He would smile that pretty smile Burt loved so, so much. And on the times he did overwork, Burt talked to him about it. He was able to help him get out of that constant work cycle. Even if just for a little bit.

This time, though, it was much worse. Sven hadn't been listening to Burt's concerns at all. He would say he'd get sleep, say he'd eat decently, say he'd take a break, but Burt can tell he hasn't done any of those things, and he doesn't know what else he could possibly do. He was stuck at a brick wall here.

He stood there with his back to the door for a bit, looking down in thought. "Oh, Sven…" he whispered to himself. "I don't know what to do…"

-------

Carol walked into the cafeteria to get some lunch, planning on taking it back to her office. She walked up to the counter and looked at the options. Looks like she's a little late because everyone seemed to have taken all of the good stuff. She shrugs and settles for a simple but filling beef sandwich. Once she finished making the sandwich and put it on her plate, she turned to the doorway so she could leave. However, she couldn't help but notice Burt sitting at a table all alone, having barely touched his food. Now, it wasn't unusual for Burt to eat alone. In fact, he preferred it.

Carol, Burt, and Sven all used to hang out quite a bit (sometimes with other Toppats as well) when they all had the time, which admittedly wasn't too much but it was enough to satisfy them. Carol knew Burt well and while he does tend to look a little uninterested or bored, resting bitch face and all that, this was different. Very noticeably, in Carol's eyes.

He was sulken, with an unreadable expression on his face. He had a nice warm bowl of tomato soup in front of him. One of his favorites. And yet he's barely touched it at all. He occasionally lifted the spoon and looked into the red broth it had, like he was considering finally starting on his dish, but then he decided against it and would slowly lower the spoon back into the bowl.

Carol knew exactly what was going on. She's seen it too. She noticed Sven's overworking himself more and more. He wasn't as energetic, his temper was all over the place, he never left his office and whenever he did, Carol could see just how exhausted he was.

His overworking really took a toll on the three's friendship, along with Burt and Sven's relationship.

Carol finally decided she's had enough with watching them crumble down to pieces and made her way towards Burt, sitting down on the bench opposite from him.

Burt glanced up at her, but didn't say anything.

"Your food is going to get cold, you know." She said,

Burt sighed again. "Yeah, I know."

Carol sat there for a few seconds, thinking about what to say.

"I understand you're upset about Sven," She said bluntly. "But just sulking in the cafeteria isn't helping at all."

Burt nodded. "I know."

Carol looked at Burt with a sharp expression. "Have you said or done anything?"

Burt glared at Carol. "What do you think? Of course I have.

"Like what?"

"The things I usually did when he was overworking himself. Reassured him, reminded him that he doesn't need to work too hard, that his health comes first," He said. "It took a bit of time because, well, you know how stubborn he can be. But eventually with enough reassurance and comfort, he would start to relax, even if just a little."

Carol hummed. "And none of that's worked?"

Burt shook his head. "No. He claims to eat decently and sleep, but he doesn't look like he does at all. I know he doesn't want me to worry, but I can't help it…" Burt buried his face in his hands.

Carol didn't say anything. She realized her food would get cold if she just sat here, so she took a few bites of her sandwich.

Burt looked up at her and noticed she hadn't responded and kept eating on her sandwich. He then looked down at his soup, it had gone cold and transparent, he could almost see his reflection in the broth. He slowly pushed the bowl away and went to stand up.

"Burt."

Burt looked to Carol, who was staring at him with a solemn expression. "Maybe mere words won't be enough to help him this time."

Burt raised an eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean? Are you saying me and Sven aren't affectionate enough?"

Carol shook her head. "Oh, no, that is not what I mean at all." Carol already knew Sven and Burt tended to be very affectionate towards each other.

"Well, then what?"

"What I mean is, just telling him not to overwork himself isn't going to do anything. You'll have to do something. Even if it's by force."

Burt noticeably flinched at the 'force' part. "No, no. If I force him away, he'll get angry," He said. "Besides, isn't that a bit, well, forceful? I don't think being aggressive will help at all."

"Who said it was aggressive?" She questioned. "Forcing him away doesn't necessarily mean you have to do anything drastic like snatching things from him."

Burt still didn't seem to understand where Carol was going with this. Sven takes his work very seriously. Forcing it away will only make him upset, especially with his already messy temper.

"Just be firm. Be serious." She said simply. "He really does love you, you know?"

Burt just sighed and nodded, turning to leave the cafeteria. Carol let her eyes follow him until he was out of sight, and turned back to eat her sandwich.

------

Once Burt left the cafeteria, he walked down the hallway, not entirely sure where he was going. It was quiet, aside from occasionally hearing somebody typing on their keyboard loudly in one room or the sound of rummaging through paperwork in another. That sound reminded him of not so fun things.

He kept thinking back to what Carol said earlier. Was she trying to give advice?

You have to actually do something. Even if it's by force.

Who did she think he was? He HAS been doing something. Everything he felt like he could. Why did Carol feel like his efforts weren't enough?

And by force? What did that even mean?

Forcing him away doesn't necessarily mean you have to do anything drastic like snatching things from him.

He knew that much, but he couldn't think of any ways to force Sven away from work without making him mad.

Just be firm. Be serious.

He HAS been being serious. He's been very direct with Sven about how he feels with his habit of overworking. At least, he thought he was being direct. Sven seemed to get the hint (most of the time).

He really does love you, you know?

Of course Sven loved him. Sven loved Burt. Burt loved him too. That's why it hurt so much seeing him like this. Especially when he felt there was nothing he could do.

He started to walk a little slower the closer he got to Sven's office. He didn't even realize he was slowing down his pace until he found himself right in front of the office door. He lifted his fist up, letting it hover. He was contemplating whether or not to knock on it. Whether or not he wanted to try and get Sven to rest for probably the thousandth time since he became leader.

He took a deep breath and knocked three times before letting himself in. "Sven, we need to talk."

Sven didn't look in Burt's direction. "Not now, Burt. I'm busy."

Burt was mentally hit with so many emotions at that response. Maybe more than he should've been.

"But, Sven, I–"

"Burt, this is important, I can't drop it right now." Sven interrupted him.

Burt didn't care how important that work was right now. The most important thing was Sven's health. And he wanted Sven to understand that more than anything.

He started thinking maybe Carol was right. He had to be a little forceful in order to get Sven even the slightest bit willing to listen to him.

He took a few steps to where Sven was sitting and tried again. "Sven, this is important."

Sven went to reach for more paperwork to sign. "I'm sorry, but I have to–"

Before he could finish, he felt Burt grip his wrist. He wasn't gripping hard enough for it to hurt, but it was enough to where he couldn't do much with his hand. He flushed when he felt Burt wrap his hand around his wrist, but he was also slightly annoyed. What was up with him right now?

He looked up at Burt who had a firm, serious expression. However, under that expression, there was concern. A lot of it.

"Sven," He repeated his name. "Please."

Sven didn't know whether he should listen to Burt or not. He looked like he really needed to talk to him, but he needed to get his work done as well. He couldn't leave it unfinished.

Before Sven could properly respond, he felt Burt gently pull him up from his chair. "Burt?"

Burt didn't say anything and led Sven out of his office. Once they got out, Burt just now realized he didn't know where to take him, but they couldn't have this conversation in his office, because Sven would probably try and start working again while Burt was trying to talk. They couldn't talk in the middle of the hallway either, though.

"Burt, what are you doing? Can you…" Sven felt his sentence trail off for seemingly no reason. He wanted to try and get out of Burt's grasp, but having finally stood up from his chair, he realized just how exhausted he was and he didn't think he had the energy to resist.

Burt started walking towards his own room. Not an office, but his actual bedroom. He felt that was the best place to go to talk about this right now.

Sven started to try and make an effort to resist and get out of Burt's grasp, even if most of his efforts would end up futile. He had to at least try. Burt just took him away from his office without telling him a thing!

The only response Burt gave to his efforts was gripping his wrist tighter. Again, not enough to hurt him, but enough for it to be harder for Sven to slip out of his grasp. He's already gotten this far and he wasn't going to let Sven get away before properly talking to him.

He finally made it to his bedroom, took Sven in with him, and closed the door behind them.

He loosened the grip on Sven's wrist, but didn't let go.

Now Sven was more than just a little annoyed. Burt forcefully dragged him over to his room and hadn't explained a thing.

"Okay, I'm here now. What is it you want to talk about?" He asked, scowling slightly.

"I want to talk about you overworking." Burt said.

That was what he wanted Sven over here for? Are you serious??

Sven refused to believe he was overworking. He was not. He was just doing his job. Being a leader was hard work. Reginald could do it so why couldn't he?

"Burt, I've told you a million times," Sven groaned. "I'm not overworking myself. I'm fine."

Burt let go of Sven's wrist and put both of his hands on his shoulders. "Sven, I'm serious. This amount of work isn't healthy for you." He said. Sven still wouldn't budge, but Burt was going to be persuasive.

"I can handle it!" He said, and tried to force Burt's hands off of his shoulders. He held his grip. Sven could not handle it. Nobody could handle that amount of work. At least not all in one sitting. Everyone needed to rest eventually. Sven seemed to make himself think otherwise.

"No you can't!" Burt cried. Probably the loudest he's been in a while, but Sven didn't seem to take note of this. All he cared about was leaving this conversation and getting back into his office. "You've been skipping meals, not getting any sleep–" Burt stressed.

"Bu-But I have! I've told you a million times, haven't I?" Sven started shaking, and he wasn't sure why. He wasn't scared, or shaking in anger. He just wanted this to be over. Burt noticed this and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself.

"No, you haven't. I know you haven't…" Burt said. "You need to–"

Sven didn't want to hear it. "No! I don't need to do anything. I'm fine. I'm alright."

"No you're not!" He couldn't hold back his voice as it started to break. Was there really nothing he could do about this? He had to resist the urge to shake Sven by the shoulders. He didn't want him to feel more overwhelmed than he probably already was.

"Why are you being so persistent??" Sven complained. He tried to get Burt's hands off his shoulders again, this time being successful. Burt stepped back, his hands awkwardly in the air. Sven sighed. "If I tell you I'm fine, then I am. End of story." His legs started to feel weak, but he ignored it.

Burt let his arms fall down to his sides, with an expression that looked like a mix of sadness and frustration. He looked into Sven's eyes. They looked…wrong. Something didn't feel right. Other than the bags under them. They seemed to drift ever so slightly, and Sven didn't look like he was doing it consciously.

This was a little concerning, and Burt felt like it had to do with his lack of sleep and eating. "Sven, I'm serious. You really need to lie down."

Sven shook his head. "I'm fine–" he muttered, before he felt himself tumble over. Instead of falling on the carpeted floor, though, he felt something warm on his back. Burt's arms were keeping him standing steadily.

He felt himself getting weaker and he felt awfully dizzy all of a sudden. His ears were ringing and he could feel everything and nothing at the same time.

He could tell Burt was saying something, but he couldn't hear what it was. It just sounded like white noise under the ringing in his ears.

What the hell happened? He was fine a moment ago.

Burt gently sat him on the bed and left the room. Probably not a good idea because Sven could just get up and walk back to his office without Burt stopping him. But he was way too out of it to even think about going back to work. He couldn't hear anything and his vision was still blurry. If he were to even try to go back, he'd more than likely pass out.

Sven had no idea what was happening. One second, they were arguing about work, then the next, he felt his senses go numb and his legs give out. It was all so sudden. He missed Burt's comforting presence already, despite everything that had happened a few minutes ago.

Now that he was sitting down and resting, the dizziness had subsided just the slightest bit. He still felt weak, though, so he just sat there and waited. Either for Burt to get back or for him to feel better enough to leave.

He heard soft footsteps and assumed that it was Burt coming back. He walked in with a bottle of water and shut the door. He sat down next to Sven and looked at him with the same amount of concern as earlier, albeit for different reasons this time.

"Please drink something." Burt said as he handed the bottle of water to him. Sven took it and drank a bit. He started feeling a little better and sighed with relief.

Burt wasn't fully comforted by the amount he drank, though. "Can you drink more?" He asked gently. While it was alright if he couldn't, Burt would prefer if Sven could get a little more in his system. Even if it was just water.

Sven gave Burt a soft look before nodding. He was worried about him and he understood that now. He took a few more sips before letting Burt take it back.

That was odd and scary. Sven had never had a spell like that before. It was so out of nowhere too. They both calmed down from arguing.

"Sven…" Burt started. "After seeing that, it's pretty apparent you haven't been taking care of yourself at all."

Sven couldn't refute anything at this point. Burt knew better, and Sven should've known that. "I just…" he let his voice trail off, not knowing what he wanted to say. He felt tears well up in his eyes, his emotions were all over the place.

Burt frowned at this and put his hand on top of Sven's. "Are you okay?" He asked, which was honestly a stupid question because no Sven was not okay, but he didn't know what else to say.

Sven tried to hold it in, now feeling mentally weak for crying. Burt noticed this and gave him a reassuring look. "You can cry. It's okay."

Sven broke down then and there. He clung onto Burt and sobbed into his shirt. He's a failure. A failure to his boyfriend for making him worry, a failure to his friends for neglecting them, a failure to Reginald and Right Hand Man who would've trusted him to do better.

Burt wrapped his arms around him as he cried. "Hey, it's okay…" he soothed him.

Sven responded by clinging onto his shirt tighter and tried to speak through his sobbing. "I'm sorry, Burt. I can't do this anymore! I feel terrible!" He cried. "I should've worked harder! For the previous leaders, for the clan, for you…"

"Sven…," Burt muttered. "Look at me. Hey, look at me." he said gently, tilting Sven's chin up so he could see him properly. Tears were still streaming down his cheeks and he just looked miserable. "No, you shouldn't have worked harder. In fact, I'd say the opposite." He said. "Like I said, I know you're not taking care of yourself, which caused you to faint. You don't have to work harder for anybody. You've worked hard enough."

Sven couldn't bring it in himself to say anything. He's heard everything he's needed to hear at this point. He's worked hard enough. He buried his face back into Burt's shirt and kept crying.

Once he finally calmed down, he lifted his head up from his boyfriend's shirt, letting out a sniffle every few seconds.

"I'm sorry… for making you worry and…and for–"

Burt gently hushed him, reassuring him that it was okay. "You don't have to apologize, Sven. Really. I'm sorry for making you upset but you need to remember your health comes before anything. Including work. Okay?"

Sven nodded. Burt didn't upset him. He was just feeling overwhelmed and upset about everything else, but he was finding it hard to speak now.

Burt kept his arms wrapped around him to assure him that he was okay. They were both okay. And they'd figure this out together. He gave him a soft kiss on the forehead. "I love you. You know that, right?"

Sven nodded and relaxed in Burt's arms. "I love you too. So much."

They sat there for a bit in each other's arms, Sven barely even having the urge to work at the moment. He felt himself begin to drift off. He tried to fight it, but it was getting harder and harder.

Burt noticed this (he seems to notice a lot of things about Sven) and chuckled. "It's alright. You can sleep now. In fact, you should sleep now." Burt whispered. Sven was about to argue, but he felt his eyes grow heavy once more. His boyfriend's relaxing voice did not help at all.

Burt was hoping Sven would sleep. Especially after fainting due to lack of food and exhaustion and crying his heart out in his arms. There's no way he's not tired. "Sven, please."

Sven begrudgingly let himself give in. "Alright…"

A few seconds later, Sven finally let his eyes close and rest for who knows how long.

Tomorrow, Burt was going to try and get Sven to eat and develop a healthier work cycle, but for now, he's just happy his boyfriend is letting himself sleep. He closed his eyes and let himself drift off as well. Both of them finally getting the rest they both desperately needed.

_______________________________________________________

I forgot to do this yesterday so don't mind me doing it today—

#it's literally 11pm over here I barely made it #but what matters is that I did🙏#now here's to me hoping day 3 will be better #it should be fine as the idea I have for it is simple and fluffy :]#this fic was kind of self-indulgent but not really #also I hope the description of fainting was realistic enough--I've had numerous fainting spells and that's how it felt for me #but it could feel different for other ppl so hejdjrfj #shoutout to carol for coming in to eat a sandwich and giving the most vague advice before leaving the story forever #I honestly lost my motivation to keep writing this towards the end so it's hella rushed am sorry #thsc #the henry stickmin collection #sven svensson #curtissonweek2023 #burt curtis #cross posted on ao3 #curtisson #henry stickmin collection

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