#I am in a glass case of emotion I don't think the game hurt me quite this badly
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They survived but survival isn't enough
Okay but the whole time Ellie is listening to Joel talk about Sarah and how Ellie and Sarah would've liked each other and Ellie's not even cracking a smile and it all leads up to her BURSTING with needing Joel to swear to her I just -
Ellie knows what Joel did. She knows that Joel is equating her with the daughter-shaped hole in his life. She knows he did something terrible at the hospital, she knows he did it for her, but she might suspect that he's projecting Sarah's ideal onto her - even though I really don't think he is, but the hollowness in Ellie's voice during that conversation just makes me UGH
Just WEEKS ago, Ellie probably would've loved to be Joel's daughter officially, and now it's true but it came at the wrong time and it all feels WRONG and it's partly Joel and his damage, partly David and what he did to Ellie's spirit, partly Ellie's abandonment issues, partly the loss of her innocence on the whole, but MAN
It hurts as a viewer to FEEL that fantasy almost come true, that Joel and Ellie could be a real family and live peacefully and happily together for the rest of their lives, you can feel how CLOSE they came, but it was never meant to be and even though Joel ensured their survival he also doomed that happiness to the realm of fantasy, and by god he will prop up that fantasy on wobbly stilts if he has to by telling a lie that they BOTH KNOW Ellie doesn't really believe oh GOD it hurts, seeing Joel that desperately happy right next to Ellie's palpable dread and suspicion was the most devastating thing I've seen on a screen in ages
#the last of us#tlou#tlou spoilers#joel miller#ellie williams#I am in a glass case of emotion I don't think the game hurt me quite this badly#Joel in the game is harder somehow and a little bit less realistic of a character in my opinion even though he's entertaining to watch#Pedro's Joel feels like a PERSON like the most BELOVED of villains holy JEEBUS#you can see him revert back to his Sarah-era in real time but Ellie can't come along with him she SIMPLY CAN'T#BUT HE WILL PRETEND THAT SHE CAN AND THAT THEY CAN DO IT TOGETHER OH GOD
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You know that one scene in game where valrius spills his drink on MC on purpose? How do you think the other courtiers and Nadia would react if MC got up without saying a word and proceeded to pour their own drink right on valirius head and leaned in real close and said “oops”? I saw a scene like this in a show and thought it was the most badass thing ever xx
(Sorry for the misspelling, I’m god awful with their names)
Oh, yes, I saw that scene. :)
Well, it's going to be fun!
Countess Nadia
As a well-bred ruler of the state, she is extremely amazed. Even more: she's in shock. Moreover, it is unclear why exactly she is more in shock – from Valerius' antics or because of the way the MC answered him.
The surprised Countess runs up to MC and Valerius, wondering what happened, who first started this whole nightmare and for what purpose it was set up. Of course, the question is: "who started it first?" rhetorical. She squints irritably at the blushing Valerius, who clearly did not expect that this act would be noticed.
Nadia reprimands the culprit first: "Consul, I did not expect this from you, your behavior is unacceptable and from this day on I forbid you to appear in rooms where others gather with a glass of wine" – even such a harmless remark can hurt Valerius' self-confidence.
After talking to the adviser, she slowly turns to the MC and already addresses them, with the same stern expression on her face. Yes, the Countess is strict, but very fair and wants everyone to get what they deserve. "MC, I understand that you are angry at Valerius because of this terrible act, but try not to do it again. This is not worthy of any reaction. Now let me deal with your stain on your clothes."
As a result, Valerius, hurt by pride, goes to wash his hair and grumbles, and Nadia leaves MC next to her to discuss what happened. She intends to have this conversation with both MC and Valerius when he gets himself in order.
"MC, I am very ashamed of my adviser, I apologize for his antics. I'll talk to him and try to make sure he doesn't try to embarrass you anymore."
Nadia will definitely make Valerius apologize to MC. And the MC will also be obliged to apologize for what he did: she doesn't want people around her to conflict or hate each other.
Quaestor Valdemar
They are not doing anything to stop what is happening. Seriously, they absolutely don't care about this brawl, they just act as a silent observer who came to watch an unfunny cheap performance.
Not a single emotion flashes on their face, but their eyes are closely watching both MC and Valerius. But at the same time Valdemar is not on anyone's side.
When the MC takes and pours wine on Valerius' head, the reaction still appears: they laugh softly, hissing into their fists, squinting their eyes. It's almost impossible to see or hear.
Since their face is hidden by a medical mask, it is difficult to determine: is Valdemar funny or are they just snorting contemptuously? Oh, no, it's really something like a laugh. They haven't had this much fun in a long time.
At the end of this meeting, they will not say anything to MC or Valerius, but they will remember this case for a long time.
Valdemar could not resist and nevertheless inserted their remark: "Valerius, you should not have taken this fatal step. Your pride is wounded," and then spreads into a wide toothy smile that can be seen even through the mask.
In their opinion, this is a good way to put the arrogant Valerius in his place, so they have nothing against it.
Pontifex Vulgora
Get ready. Their laughter will shake the whole room, and Valerius' rage will become uncontrollable, because "no one dares to laugh at the supreme consul!". But Vulgora clearly doesn't care.
"FUCK, VALERIUS, NOW YOUR HEAD LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE ALREADY HAD YOUR SKULL CRUSHED!"
They catch judgmental glances at themselves, but they don't care at all. They laugh uncontrollably, flavoring their laughter with prickly and witty comments. Finally, this reception has become less boring.
Vulgora does not care about the condemnatory views and comments of everyone present. In a fit of emotion, they can hit something in a hurry and it will definitely suffer.
For example, it can be a vase. And it will be noisy until the Pontifex releases them and they come to their senses, or until the Countess calms them down.
But even after that, they will remember this situation for a long time and make rude jokes on this topic.
Vulgora are even proud that they did not miss this reception and saw the spectacle while being at the forefront.
Preator Vlastomil
Looks at the spectacle with a bit of surprise. Not that what was happening was important to him, because all this time he was busy looking at the worms that he carried in the folds of his clothes and woke up only when he heard Valerius's indignant scream.
"What's going on here?! You are scaring my children!" – he is outraged, for the most part, not by what the MC did, but by the fact that because of Valerius, who began to resent loudly, his worms hid back in the folds of his clothes and now refuse to come out again.
When he sees Valerius doused with wine, he is not thrilled. Now there is a smell of this drink around, because of which his worms will definitely not crawl out now.
However, he is still watching this scene. After all, what else does Vlastomil like besides worms? That's right, gossip. Fresh gossip. Therefore, he discards indignation and collects material for gossip related to Valerius. This is a great reason to put him in front of everyone in an unfavorable light.
Do not be surprised if in a few days the whole palace will be talking about it. Vlastomil, of course, if he is suspected, will say that he has nothing to do with it, but since he is the only most avid gossip here, you should not believe him.
Valerius' reputation has suffered because of him.
Procurator Volta
Like Vlastomil, she wasn't particularly interested in this meeting. She was fascinated by the food she had secretly brought into the room and was just eating all the time.
Exactly until the room was filled with the smell of poured wine on Valerius' hair. She giggles softly, unable to contain her laughter. Valerius is always so proud and arrogant, and now he's so awkward and funny.
"Now Valerius smells so nice of the drink!" – she squeaks.
If Vlastomil is the main gossip of the palace, then Volta deservedly takes second place. Together with him, she, occasionally laughing, and discussing with him all the awkwardness of the incident.
When the performance is interrupted by Nadia's remarks, Volta quickly loses interest in this small scandal and returns to eating again.
#the arcana#the arcane game#nix hyrda#the arcana courtiers#quaestor valdemar#pontifex vulgora#the arcana vulgora#valdemar#vulgora#procurator volta#praetor vlastomil headcanons#praetor vlastomil#quaestor valdemar the arcana game#valdemar quaestor#quaestor valdemar headcanons#valerius headcanons#consul valerius#valdemar headcanons#arcana#the arcana headcanons#the arcana courtiers headcanons#countess nadia
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[Major Omori spoilers]
A common criticism of Omori is that the plan Basil came up with is too "edgy" or just unbelievable, but I feel like the people who think that are looking at this scene with the wrong glasses.
Yes, when you look at it from a third-person perspective, after learning how Mari's suicide deeply affected everyone and, I assume, as an adult (I highly doubt kids are playing this game), the plan seems very irrational and stupid. And indeed it is. Because that's the kind of plan a kid would come up with if put in such an extreme situation.
Let me use an example that will be understandable for most people, I hope. Imagine you're cooking something in the kitchen, something that requires really hot oil, like fried potatoes. Suddenly, a fire breaks out. If this is the first time this happens, and you're prone to getting anxiety, your first thought is going to be pouring water on the fire. Anyone familiar with kitchen hazards knows that pouring water on a grease fire will make the fire spread and become worse. But you need two important things to be able to act accordingly in this situation: one is the knowledge of what your actions will lead to (in this case the fire becoming worse if you pour water onto it), and two, the ability to calm down so you can make the best decision.
Sunny and Basil had none of those when Mari died. They panicked and, unable to look at the situation with a clear mind, they made everything worse.
And this is not your average 'oh I got a little nervous and made a mistake' scenario. This is a scenario where you, unwillingly and completely on accident, killed someone. Someone that you, and many people around you, deeply loved. As the player, you're observing the situation from a place where you can judge their actions objectively, without any emotions that would tamper with your decisions.
But when you're in the middle of that kind of situation you don't have time to think about it. You're overwhelmed with very strong and negative feelings. Sunny completely shuts himself down, and possibly forces his mind to forget what just happened, the same way he forgets about the closet or Basil's room after he kills himself. Basil, on the other hand, denies that Sunny had pushed his sister down the stairs, and blames "something behind him'", leading him to believe that if someone discovers Mari's dead body, they'll "unjustly" put the blame on Sunny, so he opts for what he thinks is the best solution - lie about her death.
Maybe Basil thought of some other way they could lie to get away with her death, or maybe suicide was the only possibility on his mind at that time. Whatever is the case, we know the decision they took. Or rather the decision Basil took, since it's entirely plausible that Sunny had completely closed himself off and was just following Basil's instructions.
When you see it from the comfort of your chair, all their actions seem really bad, if not terrible, given how Mari's supposed suicide makes the group's friendship crumble. But that is a very unfair treatment of the situation and of their feelings. You’re asking two kids, who are already very shy and anxious, to deal with one kind of situation that I don’t even think an adult could handle well. If what they did seems unrealistic to you, you haven’t fully grasped how traumatic and stressful it must have been for them, and for any other person.
When I first learned the truth, I couldn’t stop asking myself: "what would have I done if this had happened to me?" But that's a question I am not allowed to answer, as I've never had something so tragic happen to me. And that's where the true horror of the game lies, in the fact that this could happen to anyone. Maybe not to such an extreme degree, but making one mistake, hurting someone you love in consequence, and feeling guilty about it is a very real thing to go through, one that I'm sure many have already experienced.
Sunny and Basil were just kids, they made the wrong decision and were forced to live with the unimaginable pain and guilt of their actions. To call their behavior irrational is to deny how humanly they acted in that situation. And after all, to err is human, and what they did was just a terrible mistake.
#omori#m#couldn't fit this anywhere but i also want to add that. as someone who gets very nervous when they make a mistake#and often tries to cover their mistakes up in fear that people will react negatively if they find out the truth#what sunny and basil did hits very close to home#maybe this is something that only people with social anxiety or similar can understand so its important to point it out#so people who are more confident/are good at taking decisions in stressful situations understand that for us anxious folks it's v different#i mean im the kind of person who would definitely panic and pour water if a grease fire broke out so....#anyway this is super long sorry im just having many thoughts about this game
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What I Wish We Can Be
Summary: Logan's story!
Characters: Logan, Fred (OC), Chris (OC), Patton.
Warnings: invasive questions, implied sex (not graphic at all), heavy angst, crying in public, alcohol mentions, internalized aphobia. Lemme know if I missed any.
Word count: 2,350
Woow! Finally done! Ngl this took me a while to write... but it's finished now! I really struggled to portray alloaro folks in the most validating and respectful way possible so I hope I didn't accidently offend anyone💛
P.S: I hope you don't mind me tugging you but this was the WIP I sent that paragraph from for the WIP game @naminethewitch
@aro-sides-week day 5 Aroace/alloaro/non-SAM-aro
...
Logan listened to the other's stories with great interest, everyone finding the term that fits for them in their own way. In Emile's case he was even questioning for years before he found a label that sat right with him.
He had to admit it was quite… inspiring, and a bit comforting if he's being honest, to hear others struggling with this when he originally felt like he was alone in his confusion.
He wonders… Can sharing his own experience be beneficial in easing his guilt? It's a theory worth testing, afterall, there are numerous studies that show how talking about things to a willing ear can help with processing emotions better.
He nodded decidedly to himself, fixing his glasses before raising his hand to catch Patton's attention.
"Hey there, fellow glasses wearer." Patton smiled at him. "Wanna go up next?"
"Indeed." He confirmed as he stood up.
"Well then, the floor's yours buddy!" Patton stepped aside from the center, giving Logan space to stand and face everyone.
"I do not wish to own this floor, but I am willing to share my own experience." He cleared his throat, fixed his tie and started his story…
-------------------------------------------------------
"Good morning sleepy-head."
Logan blinked as his mind regained awareness of his surroundings, rubbing his eyes and reaching for his glasses before putting them on and bringing everything into focus.
"Morning" he said simply as he tossed the covers and started getting dressed.
"How'd you sleep? I had a great time last night!" Fred smiled at him from the doorway to the bedroom.
"I slept well, thank you for asking. Last night was indeed quite pleasurable." Logan agreed, slipping his arms into the sleeves of his suit jacket and buttoning it up.
He noticed Fred has gone quiet and looked at him from the corner of his eye, noticing he's staring at him.
Fred noticed him looking and blushed. "Sorry you're just… really pretty."
"Oh um… thank you, you're quite attractive yourself." Logan said as he reached for his tie.
"Oh, let me help you with that, here." Fred walked over taking Logan's tie and standing before him. They locked eyes for a moment before Fred looked down to tie it around Logan's neck.
"You know I… I think I'll like seeing you again." Fred said hesitantly, tightening the knot and smoothing the tie when he's done.
"Are you saying you would like to copulate again?" Logan asked blantly.
Fred flushed. "Um… yeah… amongst… other things…" he stepped away, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
Logan frowned. "Other things?"
Fred sighed. "I'm trying to ask you out on a date… I think I like you and… it'll be nice to know you better." He smiled hopefully at Logan.
Logan stared. "Oh… I…" he wanted to say yes, he did enjoy himself last night and Fred was attractive but… he just couldn't see them going farther, he didn't feel interested in being with Fred in that sense.. but how can he convey that without hurting him?
"Fred." Logan started.
Fred looked up at him hopefully "yeah?"
"I enjoyed myself greatly last night and I can tell you're a very nice guy. I do like the idea of us getting to know each other better just… not in a romantic sense, I apologize." He tried to explain in the nicest way possible.
Fred bit his lip. "Oh… I see. I obviously think you're nice too and in a different context being friends would be nice but… I just think it'll be weird ya know? After we… ya know…" he blushed again at the recollection of last night's events.
He didn't sound too hurt so that's a good sign. "Well then, in that case, it seems our ways will be departing today." Logan said, reaching out his hand for Fred to shake.
Fred stared at the hand then snorted. "Are you always this formal with your hook ups?" He asked jokingly but shook his hand anyway. "Oh ah and…" he walked out of the bedroom for a few minutes before returning with a piece of paper he handed to Logan. "Here's my number in case you change your mind about the dating thing." He winked.
Logan gave him a half smile, taking the phone number and putting it in his pocket. Fred walked him to the door and they waved each other goodbye before he walked out and closed the door behind him.
…
"You did what?" His brother demanded when he finished telling him about this morning.
Logan frowned. "Did I do something wrong?"
His brother stared at him in disbelief. "Wow, okay, let me walk you through what you told me."
"I don't see how walking will help-"
"Just… shut up, listen for a minute. You met a cute and attractive guy who's nice and thinks you're cute too. You hooked up with him, so far so good. Then, in the morning after he asks you out on a date because he wants to get to know you better and he might be developing feelings for you…. And you friend zone him? Have you lost your mind?!" His brother said in disbelief.
Logan's confusion deepened. " 'friend zone him'?"
His brother just groaned in frustration, shaking his head. "You're hopeless bro, why didn't you just say yes?"
"Because I wasn't interested… I don't understand, was I supposed to lie about the way I felt?" Logan tried to understand why his brother was so upset by this
"It's just one date, Lo-bro, how do you know you're not interested if you haven't even given the poor guy a chance?" His brother asked pointedly.
"I just… didn't see him in a romantic sense." Logan shrugged.
"You said you found him attractive!" His brother countered.
"Physically attractive it has nothing to do with romantic feelings and interest, I don't see why this bothers you so much." Logan said truthfully.
His brother sighed. "Bro, how long since you lost your virginity?"
Logan frowned. "10 years? I don't see how this is related-"
"And how many romantic partners have you had since then?" He cut him off.
"None." Logan said. "I don't see how this is-"
"You see why I'm worried about you now?" His brother interjected again.
"Um… no? I don't think I see the issue you seem to see." Logan said honestly.
"Logan… eventually you're going to need to find someone to settle down with and… with the way you're currently handling it… I don't see it happening. I just don't want you to end up like aunt Rose." His brother took his hand and squeezed it gently.
"What's wrong with aunt Rose?" Logan asked, desperately trying to understand.
"Nothing, she's great… she's just over 50 and living alone, you don't want that, do you?" His brother said.
"I mean… maybe not but… is that really that bad? You don't have to be with someone to be happy and aunt Rose looks pretty happy to me." Logan countered.
"Look, I'm just trying to help you so here's what you're going to do, you're going to call Fred and tell him you changed your mind-"
"But-"
"Let me finish, you go on one date with him okay? Just one, see how it feels, if it's nah then just say so and you'll never have to see him again, and if it feels like it might be going somewhere then great! You found your first boyfriend! Deal?" His brother looked at him expectantly.
"I don't know about this, Chris… It feels too much like lying for me to be comfortable with it." Logan hesitated.
"You're gonna have to step out of your comfort zone at least a little if you want to find a boyfriend, bro. It's not like one is going to waltz into your house one day." Chris pointed out. "All I'm asking for is one date."
Logan sighed. "Okay."
…
"Logan! Over here!" Fred waved him over with a smile. "I was so glad you called to change your mind! A little surprised but very glad."
Logan swallowed, he can already tell this is not going to work… but then again, Chris might have a point… he is inexperienced in that regard so maybe he shouldn't judge the situation so quickly.. Besides, it's not like he can turn him down again before the date even started.
He took a deep breath and sat in front of Fred, managing a slight smile. "Yeah I figured it's worth giving this a chance of at least one date.. just to 'test the waters' as the saying goes. Though I'm very inexperienced so this still might not work out." Logan said truthfully.
Fred raised an eyebrow playfully. "One date to win you over? Alright, I'll accept that challenge." He smirked slightly.
Logan chuckled at Fred's charm, he is pretty fun to be around.. Maybe this night will go by well.
After they placed their orders they started conversating. "So what do you work at?" Fred asked curiously. "Wait, wait, lemme guess… you're a teacher! No wait… a lawyer! Eh… something that requires that big vocabulary of yours and those formal ties you wear." Fred chuckled.
Logan smiled. "Close, I'm a professor at the local university here. Nice job, pays well, and I get to educate and lecture people which I always enjoyed since I can remember. What about you?" Logan took a sip from his wine as he waited for Fred's response.
"A professor! Huh… somehow that makes you even hotter." Fred giggled. "My job isn't nearly as impressive… I just own a small bar not far from here." He shrugged.
Logan raised an eyebrow. "Owning your own business is quite the accomplishment, there are not many who will be able to achieve such a thing."
Fred blushed at the compliment. "Oh… ah, thanks… it's just a bar… I just like making people happy, you know? Help them let loose for a while… everyone needs that from time to time."
Logan nodded. "Indeed they do. Do you happen to have any good wine there?" He asked with interest, perhaps he can pay this place a visit sometime.
Fred's face brightened as he nodded. "Oh yeah! We have almost every kind of alcohol you can think of! I like to appeal to as many people as possible so I…" Fred happily chatted about his bar, how he trains his bartenders in making almost any drink out there and even encouraging them to make up their own.
Logan smiled as he nodded through his rumblings, being with Fred just felt so easy and effortless… he desperately wished he could feel those romantic feelings everyone keeps telling him about so their relationship can work in a way that appealed to the both of them… but those stubbornly stayed out of reach.
Fred already mentioned his disinterest in a platonic connection with Logan after their sexual encounter, so if Logan can't recipicate his romantic feelings towards him… they'll have to say goodbye…
"...You should come and see it, drinks are on the house." Fred winked at him, reaching a hand to grab Logan's and gently rub over his knuckles with his thumb, looking up at him with a bright blush. "...Perhaps on our next date?" He asked hopefully.
And it was the morning after their copulating all over again… but somehow way worse, because now he cared about him even more and wanted to keep seeing him… just - frustratingly so - not romantically like he does.
"Um…" Logan hesitated, how can he turn him down now?
"I get this might be scary since it's your first time but… now I know I really like you, Logan and… we can take it slow okay?" Fred's hand was still holding his and he gave it a light squeeze, smiling softly.
"I'm sorry I-" the waiter suddenly arrived with their check and Logan quickly grabbed it before Fred had a chance, glad for the momentary distraction as he put the credit card inside and handed it back to the waiter.
Fred's hopeful eyes were still on him. Logan's heart ached as he opened his mouth to say no to this sweet guy he wishes he could fall in love with. "I'm really sorry I just don't-" the words got stuck in his throat.
The waiter handed his credit card back to him with a receipt and Logan quickly snatched it and stood up.
"Logan?" Fred frowned at him with concern.
He needed space… he needed to think… he can't think…
His breath quickened. "I'm just… really busy…" he stammered and he was bolting away from there before he even realized it, only stopping when his legs couldn't carry him anymore and he leaned on a nearby wall, panting heavily.
-------------------------------------------------------
Logan didn't realize he was crying until Patton wiped his tears gently.
He backed away, embarrassed, furiously wiping his tears on his own. "I… I didn't have the courage to reach out to him again after that… he's probably better off without me anyway…" Logan struggled to finish the story and regain whatever little composure he had left.
"For the longest time I felt like I'm such a shallow 'jerk' who only likes people for their bodies I… I didn't know about… all the different kinds of attractions or how people can feel and not feel some of them… I didn't know what aromantic was or allosexual I just… felt broken and… guilty…"
Logan took a deep, calming breath, skimming through the faces looking back at him. Patton rubbed his shoulders gently in a comforting gesture.
"Hey, it's okay, I promise. Like I keep saying, this stuff is very confusing, thank you so much for sharing." He smiled sweetly at him. "Do you want to go back to your seat? Drink some water?"
Logan took another deep breath and nodded, going over to the table with water bottles behind the circle and taking one before sitting back at his seat. Feeling emotionally worn but also… relieved.
He supposes his original theory was correct then, a fact that made him smile slightly as he awaited the next person to speak up.
#aromantic#alloaro#sanders sides#logan-centric fic#arosidesweek2022#tw internalized aphobia#cw alcohol mention#cw sex mention#Lily writes#did I base the entire conversation of Logan and his brother over a convo I had with my own brother years ago?#'course not heh...#I'm projecting hard over this fics guys you have no idea#patton sanders
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hello !! can i request a bnha and haikyuu matchup ?? <3
my name is shan and my prns are she/they. i'm pan so i don't really have any gender preference. i'm a virgo and an infj. overall, i'm a pretty laidback person but i can get pretty awkward around people i barely know, and i have a hard time in properly expressing my emotions, which leads to me getting easily annoyed(?) so i do have Quite the temper. i'm an ambivert but i do lean a bit more to the introverted side. i'm more of a listener than a talker & i don't exactly approach people first but when they do, i can get quite chatty. to the people i'm close to; i enjoy bullying them (out of love) and my sense of humour is definitely sarcasm. i have a habit of overthinking so i'm quite a pessimistic person which means i get easily down and am rarely hyper.
i enjoy playing video games, watching shows, and doing skincare. i also have a huge soft spot for animals, especially for cats and dogs. i also prefer staying indoors so my ideal date would definitely be somewhere indoors like at the comfort of our own home, but an amusement park date sounds fun too <3. my love language is definitely acts of services and (sometimes) physical touch.
i have tan skin, medium-length curly hair with bangs, and am 5'2 in height. i lean a bit more to the chubby side and my weight has been something i've been insecure about for a while. i also wear glasses and have a baby-like face.
thank u so much in advance !! i'm sorry if this got a little too long aslflskks but i hope you have lovely day/night !!! <33 💞💞
𝐋𝐎𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇...
𝐅𝐔𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐊𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐈
Tokoyami needs someone to match his energy and similarly have a more laidback partner. You and Tokoyami get along so well, you're both more on the introverted side. Neither of you are the best at talking and expressing your emotions at times but you try to open up to each other as much as you can. Fumikage deals with anger himself, especially when he sees someone he cares about get hurt- so both of you know when the other one is losing your temper a bit, and helps calm each other down.
Tokoyami finds socialising tiring at points but you don't tire him out and exhaust him like other people do. Both of you are listeners rather than talkers but around each other you become chatty and even when you don't talk you'll be in each other's company in comfortable silence, enjoying the other ones presence.
You met through a mutual friend and they introduced you two, as neither of you wanted to first strike up a conversation, even if you thought Tokoyami seemed cool and he found you intriguing. When you and Fumikage talked more and more he realised how amazing you really were, and how you exceeded his first impression of you. Tokoyami thinks your stunning- he loves everything single thing about you inside and out. He says your glasses really suits you, before now he didn't realise how amazing glasses look but now once he saw them on you his perspective changed and he really sees the appeal and why people like them.
Your dates are relaxed and chill, watching shows and films. Fumikage always listens to you and remembers what you say, on your dates he brings you favourite snacks and drinks you've mentioned before and he has a blanket too in case you get cold.
𝐋𝐎𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇...
𝐊𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎 𝐁𝐎𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐎
When Bokuto first saw you he was entranced. He thought you were absolutely stunning. He loves how he's taller than you, he loves that he's strong and can pick you up. You got nervous the first time he picked you up, insecure about your weight, but he told you "you don't think I can pick you up? You really underestimate me, you don't think I could do it". He would get all pouty and when you told him you were insecure he kissed your forehead and told you to trust him, "you're the perfect size and I love every single thing about you, let me prove to you how much I love you." Kotaro would be able to pick someone up no matter their size and you love how he makes you feel loved and wanted and beautiful.
Bokuto approached you first and was jumping up and down, so excited to finally meet the person he thought was so beautiful. You're more laidback and chill, and Bokuto is more hyper and active. Kotaro will talk for hours, and you'll listen intently, loving ever single word he says. You jokingly tease him to show your love, especially whenever you catch him looking at you in the corner of your eye.
Whenever you start overthinking you tell Bokuto, you trust him completely and you know that he'll never fail in making you feel better and stop you from spiralling more into overthinking.
You take turns in choosing dates, often times your date nights are inside, curled up watching telly, while Kotaro chooses dates like amusement parks but whatever he chooses he makes sure that you're 100% comfortable in the date and not going anywhere that you wouldn't like.
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Chapter IV: New limits
The moodboard-goddess @flowers-in-your-hayr is such a talent. Thank you soo much!
a/n: To those who like BDSM, this is your chapter! The same as always, english is not my first language, so sorry for mistakes.
Pairing: ALEX x Reader x MARCO
Words: 2336
Spotify: Kiana Ledé & Jacquees - Only Fan
Warning: +18, NSFW, smut, soft BDSM, threesome
Summary:
You plunge into a new life. This courage makes you do far more than you thought.
Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III
Almost five months passed, and you haven't seen Alex yet. At first it was planned that he would come to visit you, but he had a few shoots and no time to make a stopover at your place. Ana has broken off contact with Marco and got back together with her ex-boyfriend. The distance has burdened her.
You got a unplanned spring break and decided to fly to Denmark and surprise Alex. You knew he would be home either the same day or the next day. In the worst case scenario, you would just sit in front of the front door and wait for him or Marco to come home.
You packed your things and took the train to the airport. Your flight was delayed, and you got to their home at almost 10pm. You stood in front of the door and didn't dare to ring the bell; your legs were shaking so badly that you could not stand up straight.
Alex opened the door and you hand him the food."Did someone order sushi?"
,,What?!!’’ Alex was stunned, his chin dropped.
,, Is this real? No way elskede, this can't be true!!''. You jumped at him and he almost fell over. He was overjoyed and couldn't stop kissing you.
"Maarco! Come here, see who's here!” Yelled Alex. Marco came out of the bathroom and only had his shorts on.
,, Heeej, what are you doing here?! You are crazy, girl. So good to see you'' He grinned and shook his head. You were surprised because he had no intention of hugging you. You saw someone get up from the sofa. A beautiful blonde looked at you with a smiling face.
,, Hi, I'm Clara''. Her short pants and crop top showed more of her body than you would have liked. You looked at Marco and he immediately felt uncomfortable.
“This is a good friend of Marco. And she's my girlfriend Y / N'' Alex pointed to you. You nodded to her and said ,,Hi’’ without any emotions. You wanted her to know that you would never become friends.
Alex helped you put your things in his closet and brought the food into the kitchen. You knew that sushi was his favorite food. He asked you to sit down and served you a glass of wine.
"Thank you so much for the sushi, I love it! So tell me, how long are you going to stay?" Marco heard the question and looked directly in your direction.
,,Ehm…I have to tell you something. I was actually thinking of moving here. I have already enrolled in a Danish course. And I will start working here in the hospital in two months’’. You told him that you quit your apartment and registered yourself in Copenhagen.
"So even if you don't want me here, I'll stay in Copenhagen" did you comment at the end. Alex was impressed by your initiative.
,,You didn't have to fly back the last time and you know that’’
"But don't worry, I'll find my own apartment as soon as possible and then move out."
"I don't think so, but we'll talk about that later" insisted Alex.
It was late and you were tired, you put the empty glass of wine in the kitchen and took a shower. The shower was at the end of the long corridor, so you had to walk past the guest room and Marco's room. You forgot your bathrobe in the room, so you wrapped the bath towel around you and ran back. The towel was too small so you hoped that nobody would notice. Alex was already waiting for you.
Suddenly someone grabbed your wrist and pulled you back.
"Wait!" Marco pushed your hair aside with his nose and kissed the back of your neck.
"I missed you baby". You turned around but he was holding your hand so tight that you couldn't run away.
"NO" you said quietly in a rough tone. Marco put his hand under your bathrobe and pulled you closer to him.
"You are so hot baby", you rejected his kiss.
"Let go of my arm Marco!" He noticed you said it seriously and he let you go.
**********
,,You don't know how I missed you, that was an agony. I couldn't even talk to you that much on the phone properly because of all your shifts.’’ Alex complained.
You actually wanted to ask him if he's kidding you like Marco. Marco promised to wait for you and in the end he didn't do it, but you couldn't because Alex didn't know anything about your sex, so you quickly forgot about it.
You were so horny, such a long time without a man in your bed. You were already tired of satisfying yourself. You couldn't wait any longer and dropped your bath towel. You sat on him and put his hands on your ass. You could feel that his cock was already hard. You rubbed it with your pussy and pushed his underpants down so that his cock jumped out. You took it in your hand and slowly shoved it into your pussy. You had to ride him slowly at the beginning because it hurt you a little. Alex looked up at you and closed his eyes. You could see he was enjoying that.
"Moan my name" he followed your command.
,,Louder!’’. you wanted Marco to hear it. You felt a heat inside you, that made you cum. You breathed into his mouth and felt this magnetism between you. Seeing your pleasured face made him even more horny. He climaxed and bit your chin.
Alex had to go to set early the next day, so you fell asleep quickly afterwards.
*********
In the morning you didn't even notice that he had already left. The apartment was very quiet, and you didn't see anyone. You were glad you didn't have to see this chick. You took your coffee and enjoyed the morning sunshine on the balcony. The sun's rays covered the cold, so you could keep your lace-trimmed nightgown on.
,,You don't know how happy I am to see you again baby I missed the smell of your skin so much.’’ Marco had his face right next to your neck and smelled your hair. You pushed him away.
“What do you mean, you missed me. You found a barbie who takes care of you.You couldn't miss me. You are such a liar. Don't you dare touch me again.’’You yelled at him and turned away from him. He held you back on your forearm so you couldn't go away.
"Hey, listen, I went crazy, I thought you'd never come back. You always spoke to Alex on the phone and never asked for me. What should I have done? I've already broken up with her. She won't come back.’’
You were so close to his lips, you knew it wouldn't stop at a kiss, so you didn't dare. You were hoping he would make this decision for you. Marco grabbed your ass, lifted you up carried you into the apartment. You couldn't resist him. He was very dominant with you in contrast to Alex. He put your panties aside and stroked your clit, you were already wet. Your legs were around his waist, until his cock found his way in your pussy.
,,Baby harder’’ You wanted him to be rougher. It made the whole thing more intense. Beeing discovered by alex was like a thrill for you. His hips smacked against your thights. Marco knew exactly when to act harsh to let you cum.
The mood after sex was intimate, as if you had known each other for years, it gave you a feeling of security.
************
When you went home in the afternoon after the Danish course, both were sitting at home and playing video games. You sat between them, but they paid no attention to you. So, you got up again and went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.
"I'll help you," said Alex to you and took the knife away from you. You took the chance and took a shower.
"Ouch, I cut myself. Where's my nurse?! '' Alex wanted you to look at the wound. You had to grin because the cut was barely visible.
"You have to kiss it for it to heal." and held out his finger to you. You looked him in the eyes and your tongue ran all over his finger. You felt how it made him horny. You sucked his finger and then let his hand slip under your bra, so he could feel your hard nipples. Marco was still sitting on the couch, but could exactly hear what was going on.
,, I have a surprise for you’’. Alex blindfolded you and took you into a room. You took small steps because you were afraid of falling or running into a wall.
,,Come on elskede, trust me.” He put his hands on your shoulders and pushed you down. You lay on the bed with your legs bent. Shortly afterwards you heard a "click" on your wrists.
He slowly marked a trail of kisses, while you were tied to bed, just before your pussy he stopped.
"Do you like it?" it was Marco's voice and you were briefly confused. After he kissed you, you knew perfectly well that it was him. Your tongues pressed together in a hot openmouthed kiss. He pulled off your blindfold and you saw both lying next to you. Alex had already taken off his clothes and only had his pants on.
“I told him about us. I told him what we did in the disco and about sex in the morning.” You were shocked and scared of Alex's reaction. You knew it had to be said, but you weren't prepared at all.
,,We don't want to intimidate you, but we could both make you happy.'' said Marco. You looked shyly at Alex, but couldn't see any emotions on his face.
,, I knew you guys like each other, Marco eyefucks you all the time. I knew you had sex, because you rejected me even though I had fingered you in the disco shortly before.” added Alex.
,,You can think about it and then let us know. We won't force you.’’
Alex wanted to free you from the handcuffs, as you yelled.
,,No, don't!”, you searched for eye contact.
,, Come closer...’’ you whispered. ,,You are too nice to me guys. I know exactly how much you like having rough sex. So, let's stop pretending to like it gently.”
Marco sat at the foot of the bed, you knew he liked doggy style, so you turned around and pressed your ass towards him. He squeezed your ass cheeks and could see your pussy while doing it. He caressed your already wet pussy and shoved his cock in. It made you moan loudly. You liked that feeling of being dominated and they liked it even more. Marco put his hand around your neck and pulled your head towards his chest. You could hear his fast breathing.
"I've wanted to do this for a long time, why did you keep me waiting so long for this…Look at Alex and tell him how much you like to be fucked hard, you nasty girl.”
Alex sat in the corner of the room on an armchair. He was hearing your clapping cheeks and rubbed his cock.
“Please fuck me harder Marco“, you’ve never seen Alex so horny.
He got up and approached you. His big hand touched your soft neck and choked you. He did it very gently so that you could breathe easily, he was rather shy. His tongue slided soft over your upper lip. You wanted to kiss him but he refused.
,,You won’t decide what we'll do” and wagged his finger.
,,Let's turn her over!’’ he said. They talked about you like you weren't there.
Alex released the handcuffs from the bed but left them on your wrists. Marco put your legs on his shoulders so that he could penetrate you deeper. Alex knelt down to you and stroked your mouth with his cock. He had your arms trapped between his thighs. They grinned at each other and focused on you again. You were like on fire. Your pussy pulsed and your climax came closer and closer. You looked at Alex who was close to your face.
,,Can I cum? " Your hands sank into the sheets and you couldn't wait any longer.
,,Let it happen elskede” He gave you a gentle kiss and bit your lower lip. He saw you cumming and jerked off on your breasts, your spread it over your nipple and licked your finger clean. Marco moaned loud in your ear, you felt how the sperm ran out of your pussy.
"Tak baby”, muttered Marco while smooched your neck.
They both got off you and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Are you okay?" and released your handcuffs.
“I feel better than ever. Don't worry guys, you didn't hurt me and you never will.
" You stood up und walked into the bathroom.
,,Do you sleep in my bed tonight? I would be happy about that” Marco called after you.
,,I think I will settle in the guest room if you both agree. I can start work earlier than planned and it would be easier for me if I have my own room”
,,That’s not a problem for me, but i will sneak into your room if i want a kiss” said Alex with a wink.
,,All right, no problem, good night and wake me up tomorrow” said Marco a little disappointed.
,,Good night guys and thank you for letting me live here” and closed the door behind you.
Chapter V: Inopportune moment!
#marco ilsø#marc x reader#alex høgh andersen#alex x reader#alex høgh#alex x reader x marco#vikings#imaginevikings#smut#marco x reader#hvitserk#hvitserk x reader#ivar x reader#ivar the boneless#history vikings#vikings ivar#vikings hvitserk
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I love hearing about tgaa polycule, do have more headcanons? And what made you ship them in the first place?
HEY HI HELLO
so answering all that will be long, so I'll put headcanons first, and how I came to ship them after.
well. I can't possibly list ALL headcanons I have about them, because the brainrot is real and I think about them 24/7, but dumping what i can immediately think of should still be sizeable.
also some of these are @saipng's but also mine. we are in this together. no literally we have a channel for headcanons and everything.
kazuma and herlock are the only people in each other's lives who can see through the other. all the bullshit kazuma offers to ryu, barok, and susato - is just 'girl rly' to herlock. likewise, kazuma learns to catch the slightest tells of herlock, and uses his logic to conclude how he actually feels. if it's bullshit, he calls him out on it, if it's a smart strategy, kazuma improvises for it. they each are a menace when it comes to keeping their intentions a secret, and funnily enough, they are each other's kryptonite.
canonically, ryunosuke is an impulse buyer, herlock is a shopaholic, and barok has certain standards in life. coupled with the van zieks wealth, kazuma often has to suffer through his space being invaded with some golden chocolate clock or some shit. he thought a room was his dojo, but now it's filled to brim with granite because herlock has a case.
despite all the wine he supposedly drinks barok is actually super lightweight, gets drunk from two glasses, and is an emotional drunk. that's why you don't see him actually drink it much in canon.
kazuma has a sensitive scalp and each of his boyfriends have discovered that in a vulnerable moment.
Also the Japanese pair of The Polycule are TINY compared to Barok and Herlock and sometimes they lift them to make a point. neither ryunosuke nor kazuma appreciate it when it's precisely to piss them off, but otherwise, ryunosuke gets kind of turned on.
talking about being turned on - the horny levels go ryunosuke >>>> kazuma > barok > herlock. i will not elaborate.
herlock is a super touchy feely person overall and will always have an arm around either one of his boyfriends. overall is the keyword though - occasionally he is straight up touch-repulsed and his boyfriends respect that too.
barok is secretly the softest of the bunch. at first he's like dont touch me. i am darkness. the great reaper of the bailey. grrr and then a month passes and he's lying in bed and his boyfriends are busy with whatever so he's like where are kisses??? kisses for the reaper??? you are cruel and unjust partners and you should all be sent to the gallows
when Ryunosuke is pissed at Kazuma he calls him Prosecutor Asogi. it sends a dread down Kazuma's spine like nothing else. whenever Ryunosuke's voice calls "Prosecutor Asogi", suddenly Barok has urgent business in the Lord Chief's Office and Herlock has found five new cases
susato gives the ‘don’t you fucking dare hurt him’ speech whenever ryunosuke gains a new boyfriend except that the speech is always directed at ryunosuke
kazuma's preferred method of gifts is creation, herlock's is invention, and barok's is finding the best of the best. ryunosuke sticks to buying stuff; he doesn't have barok's means, but he makes up for it in his thoughtfulness - he buys something that pairs well with sentimentality. for example, he'd get origami papers for kazuma, a recording of a song he would play alongside herlock's last composition, or a cheese plate to enjoy with barok one evening.
Since Kazuma hates eating birds and Herlock loves eating them, Kazuma always saves his share for him even if he could have refused having any. For example, if they were to attend a dining event and they are serving game, Kazuma will just slide his dish toward Herlock's
herlock keeps walking in on kazuma’s most embarrassing moments and kazuma hates him all the more for it
barok can’t lie. he can hide his emotions, he is VERY good at denying them, but he cannot tell an outright lie. it’s so painfully obvious when he starts to try and come up with something that everyone is honestly outraged at how this man was ever suspected of murder. when he was younger klint taught him to simply reply with ‘i cannot divulge that information’ when he couldn’t tell the truth and that’s his go-to phrase now
yeah okay that's enough for now. i can go forever with these four.
as for how i started shipping them -
predictably, i was a slut for asoryu from the first case on. coupling my horniness for best-friends-to-lovers and their unique personalities & chemistry, i fell hard. then herlock walked in and there is no heterosexual explanation for his interactions with ryunosuke - and i was ready to hate herryu for it. i thought it would be popular in the fandom (how is it not, honestly...), and thinking kazuma was truly dead, i feared it would follow the "he got over kazuma with herlock" narration; even then, i couldnt deny these fuckers were being very gay. i would later come to ship them hard anyway. then barok was out there saying repressed gay shit to ryunosuke like "those eyes please me", and we weren't even in the second game yet, where ryunosuke would undo him in the best way, save him and make him face himself. (honestly his vulnerability and flaws added him such depth, and for ryunosuke to be the one to expose them... divine.) then we saw herlock and barok canonically interact - clearly they are exes, snappy and full of venom, but also herlock obviously cares about barok, what with how he talks about him to ryunosuke? his thing with the collar, his goading ryunosuke to ask mael about barok's wellbeing, him assuring ryunosuke that mr. reaper is no actual reaper... then baraso enemies-to-allies thing came out of the left field and you're like holy shit. and heraso... my dear heraso. they didn't get much interaction at the first glance, but as my two favorite characters (and dare i say i know them well), I saw the potential for such a unique chemistry, which proved to be canon both in escapade 2 and tgaa pre-release extras. and, honestly, the way kazuma looked at herlock in the last case? HE BROUGHT LIGHT BACK INTO HIS EYES. kazuma deadass fell in love and you cannot tell me otherwise.
so clearly. if each one of them is a little gay for one another. they can all be in love, together.
so i told @saipng the one word, polycule, and life hasn't been the same since.
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Ping-Pong
✧ Harry’s a foster kid who always seem to get abandoned until this particular family stays with him, but he can’t seem to trust them. Aylin, the girl across the street, talks too much and her parents fight a lot more. Both of them want to just get out of their houses, and playing ping-pong on the town’s fair brings them together for years.
Word count: 2144
Warnings: — (for now)
Part I (you’re here!)
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Part VII
Part VIII
A/N: hi ! this will be a short story so there will be multiple parts, obviously lol. there will be a number on the beginning of each chapter which means what age they are. I know the description makes it seem a bit boring but honestly is fluff and stuff like that :) hope u like it
13
Harry's head vibrated as he was leaning against the window while the car seemed to be cruising through sky, sea, and land, fighting storms and a giant monster when in truth they were just passing a dirt road.
Lilian, who was sitting co-pilot, looked back with fireworks exploding in her eyes every time she saw Harry, while Dev squeezed his wife hand tightly, her cheeks burning from the prominent smile that adorned her lips, which has remained intact since they left the place where the foster kids wait for someone to take pity on them and take them home. A real home.
On the other hand, the emotion was the least throbbing in the being of the boy, because he has already lived this process twice, three counting now and he knows that it will end in dissolving the existing family—the family by blood and then later go back to the orphanage and repeat the same process over and over and over again.
Well that's what he thinks. How could he not? The two families who took him in threw him out again like a stranded dog in search of the warmth of real love. So no, Harry doesn't want to allow himself to get excited and think that maybe they will keep him (yes, as an object) and that maybe they will love him and that maybe he will love them and that maybe Lilian will make him cookies with a glass of milk when he feels bad or that maybe Dev would teach him to cook or do his homework and that maybe everything will be fine.
"We have a lemon pie waiting for you at home, we — we don't know if you like it, I hope you like it, we prepared it with a lot of love for you, Harry."
"We prepared?" Dev laughed and Lilian rolled her eyes in amusement. "It would sound better if you say that I prepared, don't you think?" He looked in the mirror at Harry. "Champ, the kitchen almost burned down! Doing a lemon pie! Can you believe it?"
The curly-headed simply looked directly at Dev in the rearview mirror and tried to smile at him, which did not work and managed to slowly hide his prominent smile, Lilian giving him another firm grip on his hand and smiling at him with sorrow because deep down they both know that Harry isn't going to trust them just like that. He has felt used, but he also think he's useless, people have abandoned him, he doesn't have parents or a real family, so they understand.
And they will wait for him to open up, because having a child on their own was something that, unfortunately, they could not fulfill.
.
.
.
Aylin's small hands covered both of her ears as she hid under the covers, without first making sure to close the door to her room. Her eyes were tight and a melody came from her lips that she sang every time this happened; but even so, the screams and loud words coming from the floor below her were not drowned out and managed to enter her brain.
It has been a full two weeks now where breakfast, lunch, and dinner were a big plate of arguments from her parents. Now, apparently, it also came in snacks.
Another sound was added to her brain, they were more murmurs and an engine being turned off, although the murmurs were not from her incredibly angry parents, but from some who were calm and trying to gain the trust of a new family member.
Curious as always, like a monkey hanging from a tree, she got out of it (that is, her bed) and went to the window where her big eyes filmed a new scene that she had never seen before: the Evans were getting out of their car with a boy in a black joggers and jumper, dirty sneakers, and a hat. Aylin's mouth parted slightly, surprised that the Evans had never mentioned a cousin or that they had a godson.
She doesn't know how long she was watching them, but she was fed up because now the only staging was the house across the street and the car parked outside was already inside the tiny garage.
Even her parents' screaming stopped, so she supposed that the hands of the clock turned the clock several times in a row and extremely fast; speed of light, up to.
Suddenly, her eyes caught how the same boy from a while ago came out and closed the front door ever so softly, squeezing his eyes a little as there was no longer any open space between the frame and the wood, placing a hand on his chest and releasing all the air in his lungs. Then, he put on the hood that came with his jumper and started walking. Aylin, with a smile on her lips, ran down the stairs and also left, obnoxious about the fact that her parents don't even care where their thirteen-year-old daughter will go alone, but that was already typical.
The truth is that lately she has been feeling lonely, her house no longer feels like home and love was not a prominent thing in her heart, so the opportunity to be with someone who is probably her own age coming at a silver tray for her is something she cannot throw away, so jogging and running short of breath to reach the boy, Aylin yelled:
"Hey! Wait! You! Wait – please!"
Harry stopped walking and turning his torso a few degrees and pulling his hood off, he made eye contact with Aylin, who was still jogging with one hand outstretched in a 'stop please I'm dying' sign.
"Um. . ." he started looking behind her in case Lilian or Dev sent the stranger after him. "Do you need help or. . .?"
"You arrived with the Evans, didn't you?"
"Er, yes."
"Are you their godson? Cousin? They never told me about a cousin," Aylin said the last more to herself, pursing her lips.
"Um. . . I'm—" Harry debated whether to admit that he was taken in from an orphanage or that he was a cousin — a godson, whatever. He thought that, thanks to past experiences, they will get rid of him in about three weeks, or a month, or even less, so: "I'm a. . . godson. Yes. That's what I am."
"Oh, cool!" It wasn't. Aylin's illusions of having a new friend were crushed like an ant walking through a crowd, because if he was a godson then he wouldn't stay that long, anyway, it doesn't hurt to befriend him in the time that remains. "Where are you going?"
"I don't know. I wanted to walk— "
"Cool! Let's walk together. I'm Aylin. What's your name? There's this really cool fair at the center of the town, it has a loooot of cool games and cool stuff! Let's go there!"
". . . alone." Harry's word was lost with the wind as Aylin wasted no time in entwining her arm with his to pull him and walk with him while smiling from ear to ear for her new friend; on the other hand, Harry grumbled and what he wanted the most was to have duct tape to place it on the girl's mouth, she never stopped talking!
". . . And so the teacher farted and everyone laughed and— look! We arrived!"
The two (still with arms intertwined) were standing in front of the start of the fair: lots of people, perhaps everyone who lives here in this small town came and went, children with cotton candy or candied apples, teenagers joking with their friends and parents waiting for the adrenaline rush in their children's bodies to relax. Immediately one could see the great white ferris wheel, the biggest game of all.
"There are so many games!" Aylin kept talking as the two of them walked through the crowd. Harry must admit that his mood improved a bit when he saw all the attractions and happy faces and the smell of candy, but he stopped short when he saw an unoccupied ping-pong table, when she noticed this, she looked at the boy and smiled. "You like ping-pong, huh?" He nodded. "Me too! Let's play!"
And so now the two of them were at either end of the table, paddle in hand, Aylin the black one and Harry the red one, the latter holding the white ball in his left hand, his tongue peeking out the side of his lips as he concentrated to make a good shot.
Although it's hard to concentrate when she keeps talking, and talking, and talking.
Some say it's a quality, others say it's irritating, but she can't help it, her tongue is never in a knot and words always roll down from it as easily as if they were made of butter. Aylin knows well how talkative she is, and there are times when she hates such quality because she does not know when to stop talking, and sometimes, inadvertently, she begins to talk about personal problems. . . like now.
They were both quite good at playing ping-pong, their wrists moved with fluidity and a technique that was not naive at all, the harmony of the game rarely was cut off and the ball rolled on the floor where one of the two had to come out chasing after it like an idiot.
"My parents have been arguing a lot lately. I mean, they always argue but now it's like a lot, everyday. Last night," ping–, "I heard them saying some things. I think my dad is with. . . you know. . . another woman,"–pong.
"They will probably divorce. I've seen it. . . in movies! Yeah. . . movies."
Aylin stopped the game by catching the ball and setting her paddle on the blue table. Harry frowned. "Why did you stop?"
"A-are my parents going to break up?"
Harry swallowed the accumulated saliva inside his mouth as he realized that Aylin's usually lively eyes had now passed away and a layer of tears was the only thing that made them shine.
"I, um, er, I mean, they probably will— not! They'll probably figure it, uh, out?" By then, the girl's cheeks had turned red as a watermelon and tears were already streaming down her cheeks like a winter storm, placing a hand over her mouth and running off, losing herself in the crowd.
Harry's mouth fell open in agape as guilt filled his heart. He wanted her to be quiet, but not in this way, so the only thing he could think of was to chase her, although it will be difficult to find her when there are hundreds of people running from one place to another and many loud sounds.
"Aylin! Aylin! Where are you Aylin?!"
Now he was getting desperate: according to the watch that was stolen from one of the houses he was in, twelve minutes have passed since he went out in search, but without being able to find the treasure. Thousands of situations and thoughts crossed his mind: she's lost, it's your fault, she was kidnapped, it's your fault, maybe she's dead, it's your fault, it's your fault, it's your fault.
In the end, it seems like it's always Harry's fault.
Then he saw her. She was sitting on the ground, the darkness playing in her favor, her knees bent toward her chest and her arms hugging herself.
In the end, it seems that Aylin will always have to hug herself.
He hadn't even noticed when his feet guided him to one of the tent shops and now he had a cotton candy in one hand and a candied apple in the other. He had no idea where he got the money from; he just rummaged in his pockets and voilà! Money.
Harry sat next to her somewhat nervous, he didn't know what to say, or how to act, what he should think, less how to give her what he bought her. Aylin already knew of his presence, but said nothing.
"Ejm, I — I bought you this, I'm not sure if you like cotton candy more or candied apple. . . uh, which one?"
She sniffed her nose that looked like Rudolph the reindeer's nose and turned her head to look at Harry. Her eyes were swollen and from time to time she would shake from the force (and consistency) of her crying.
Slowly, with her index finger, she pointed, surprisingly shy at the cotton candy. Harry smirked because at least she accepted his ‘forgive me gift’. He kept the apple and the two of them silently began to eat the sweets.
And Harry thought that perhaps he wanted to hear her speak more, since now there was no sound between the two, not even of her breathing, nor of her thoughts. But at least she ate with him.
#harry styles fanfic#harry styles writing#harry styles blurbs#harry styles#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#fanfiction
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stitches and ditches
summary: y/n and spencer get in a fight. due to the fight y/n goes to the hospital where she gets taken. spencer has to find her before it’s to late
a/n: plot holes. plot holes everywhere. so i’m sorry for that, super sorry. also like i don’t really know how to write fight scene and stuff ig so sorry if it sucks. and i skipped like 3 classes for this, so don’t let it flop
warnings: fight, angry spencer, torture, a case, violent spencer (idrk what to call it) and whole lotta angst. i happy ending though! kinda, idrk
word count & pairing: spencer x (fem) reader & 4.1k
remember to like and reblog!!
It all started the day he came home from work. This was one of the longest trips he’d been on so you decided to make him his favorite. Pumpkin Pie. And god knows how hard it is to make pie, but you did it anyways, for him. It wasn't too late when he got home but It wasn't too early either. More like the time right after dinner and just before dessert. You had just got the pie out of the oven when you heard the door open and someone walk in.
“Spencer! Finally you’re home! How are you!” You said while he put his bag away. He didn't turn to look at you yet which was kinda weird since the first thing he does when he gets home is kiss you right on the lips. “Fine,” He mumbled while sitting down at the table still not looking at you. “Spencer, come on what’s wrong?” You asked while grabbing his hands, but he immediately retracted. Which made sense because of who he was, but you’re not gonna admit that it didn't hurt. “Nothing Y/N.”
You knew that something was wrong, and it didn't take a profiler to see that. Everything about him was just off. “Come on, it's me. You can tell me anything.”
“Y/N.” Spencer said in a deep tone. You’d never heard him like this or seen in that sense. He was always happy to see you, to be with you. And were with his too. “Spencer no, come on. I can see that you’re clearly not fine. So come on, open up.”
“Y/N I said I’m fine!” You were appalled. He had never raised his voice at you, but it was bound to happen one day, you just. You just were shocked. “Spencer,” You said in a low voice completely contradicting his loud yell. “What!”
“Spencer calm down!” You say yelling at him. Although you realized that yelling at someone to calm down probably wasn't the best way to do it.
“No Y/N, you need to just stop and shut up!” Shut up. That’s the first time he’s ever told you to shut up. Infact, you think it's the first time he’s ever told anyone to shut up.
“Spencer just talk to me! It’s not that fucking hard!”
“No Y/N it is. It's tremendously hard and you just wouldn't understand.”
“Just tell me. And I'll see if I understand. But don't just gatekeep your emotions and feelings.”
“Y/N I said no! Why cant you listen to simple fucking directions! It’s not that fucking hard!” Each and every time he yelled at you, it's like your heart physically broke. And you could feel it breaking. But how do you tell him to stop? All you wanted was to know how he feels. Was that really so hard?
“Spencer why the hell are you acting like this! I understand that your job is hard but that doesn't mean that you can pour all your anger out on me! And if you are gonna do that, you can at least do the kind thing and share how you feel! And what's wrong! I mean, is that really so much to ask!”
“Oh really, that's how you wanna play this! You think this is just a little game don’t you!”
“Game Spencer! You think I play this as a game! Well this game is my life!” You were drop dead angered at this point. “What in the world gives you the right to act like this! Please, explain!” All he does is scoff at you. “I'm not joking Spencer! Why the hell are you acting like this! You've changed!”
“Oh I’ve changed! Y/N you've changed! You're always trying to kiss up my ass! I mean jesus! All you want is money! Like god!”
“Oh I want money! Spencer! I don't need your pathetic money! It may not have dawned on you since you couldn't bother to care, but I make a good amount of money. Yeah, you’re not the only one who paid for this place. So stop acting like you are.”
“Oh wow! Haha, you sick son of a,” He stopped immediately after realizing what exactly he was saying.
“Say it Spencer! Finish the goddamn sentence!”
“Y/N, you know I wont.” He says in a shift of tone. Still equally as affecting though.
“Why? Huh? You've already said so much, just wrap it up with a nice little red bow on top!”
“Y/N, stop,” He said, his tone getting more and more demeaning by the second.
“Do it Spencer! Do it!”
“Goddamn it Y/N I said stop!!” He yelled before throwing a glass at the wall behind you. You both immediately shut up, as trying to process what just had happened. Did he actually just try to hurt you? No, Spencer would never do that. Would he? You touched the back of your head and felt blood on your ear. You looked down at the blood and Spencer walked towards you but all you did was pull back from his touch.
“Don’t,” You mutter in fright. Putting your hands up against his chest, but not touching. His eyes looked at you as if they were trying to say something but just couldn't. You grabbed your purse, keys, phone, a coat, and slipped into some shoes. “Y/N, where are you going?”
“To the clinic or hospital or whichevers open right now. To get this checked out and stitched up.”
“Y/N, come on just stay here. I can stitch it up. I can do everything. Just dont leave. Im sorry, okay. I- I don't know why I did that. I promise I didn't mean too.” He begs and pleads but you just can't say with him tonight. No, not tonight. Tonight was too bad, tonight was a dent that was not going to be fixed.
“I just can't, Spencer. Okay, not tonight. There’s some pasta in the fridge, and I love you… I guess.” And with that you got in your car and left leaving Spencer to just sit in his own tears. He just sat at the table thinking of everything he did wrong. Everything that went wrong. And the worst part is that absolutely nothing wrong or bad happened at work today. He was just exhausted, that's all. And instead of telling his girlfriend, he started a fight. And he knew that you were in the right, for everything.
“Hi, Y/N. I’m Dr. Michael Gray. And it looks like something happened to your ear.” He says while standing at the door.
“Oh hi! Haha. And um… I thought that nurses were supposed to, you know, stitch up stitches.”
“Oh yeah, well they are. But you’re just so gorgeous I pass up the offer.”
“Oh, haha,” You say, not knowing how to feel. Although there was one thing you knew, and that was that this was uncomfortable as hell. “Well, I mean I do have a boyfriend.” You said just so he wouldn't try to make any moves.
“Oh well hey! Do you have any siblings or friends? I'm fine with absolutely anyone and everyone.” He says while disinfecting your ear and pulling the glass out.
“You’re Pan?” You ask to distract yourself from the pain.
“Yeah. You’re not gonna request another doctor now right?” He asks while carefully taking out the glass and putting it on a white napkin in front of you. That was a big piece.
“No, of course not!” You say in offence. “How could you ever think that.”
“It happens a lot with people. Especially the pretty ones. They automatically get turned off when I tell them I like everyone. I don't care about your gender, just your personality and how you treat me.”
“Oh well I would never. And it sucks that-that happens.”
“Yeah. Okay, so here comes the fun part. Hey, how did you even get these stitches? Or, why do you need them? Like how did you get to this point?” He says while slowly stitching up your ear.
“Ha, I get it. You’re just fine. And all of this is due to my boyfriend.” You say in pain.
“Wait,” He stops doing what he’s doing and just stands there. “Your boyfriend did this?”
“Yes. And before you say anything else, I am not in an abusive relationship. Okay, he just had a bad day and I guess I made it even worse. And trust me, he didn't mean to do it.” You say as he finishes stitching up your ear.
“Do you have a place to stay tonight?” He asks while pouring out a liquid into a small cup.
“No.”
“Then, come stay with me. At my place. And here drink this, it’ll help with the pain. A lot.”
He says while giving you a small cup filled with what looked like to be a crushed up powder poorly mixed in with water. Or whatever that the liquid was.
“Oh no. We just met.” You spoke before drinking it.
“You got anywhere better to stay? Plus my shift ends in 5 so it would be the most practical decision.”
You knew that it was wrong. After everything that Spencer had told you. But for some reason you still went. Even though you knew you should have gone back home to Spencer. And god knows what he was doing right now. But you couldn't just let your pride fall and go home. That would be pathetic. “You know what, okay! I mean what the hell! You seem nice and I’m not in the mood to face him again. Or at least for now.”
“Sweet!”
“Just one question… are you gonna kill me?” It was a stupid question to ask, you know. But after everything that Spencer and his family have been through. And with what happened to haley, you just couldn't help but to ask.
“No Y/N, I’m not gonna kill you. Now come on, let me get logged out and let's leave this place. Oh and Y/N, you can call me Michael.” He says while taking off his lab coat.
“Okay Michael.”
He brought you into his car and the drive to his place felt like hours. Although you really couldn't remember most of it since you passed out a quarter way through. The last thing you do remember is him putting his hand on your thigh and looking over at you with a smirk.
It had been 3 days. 3 days since you left to get your ear stitched up. 3 days since Spencer had last seen you. Since you had seen him. Or any of your friends. 3 days since you left your life. In those 3 days, Spencer completely lost himself. All of the books were on the floor. The bed was an absolute mess. And the kitchen was left just as it was the night it happened. He, himself, was a mess. His hair had not been brushed. He was still wearing the same clothes. And he’d been surviving on coffee and granola bars.
“Guys, we got a new case, come on.” Penelope chimes as they all do paper work. Spencer can’t help but look at his phone every 2 minutes just waiting for a text or call or any sign of life and/or love.
“What’s wrong pretty boy?” Derek asks.
“Yeah, you've been acting tense lately.” JJ adds.
“Nothing, It’s just Y/N,” He gruffs.
“Do I smell relationship problems,” Derek says jokingly.
“Derek!” JJ scoffs. “What's wrong Spence?”
“Nothing I just… Look, something happened, and now she’s not answering any of my text and calls, and I'm starting to get worried. That's really all there is.”
“Well what happened exactly? To you know, make her leave I guess.” JJ asks.
“Um, we had an argument. A pretty bad one. I came home after the case. The Checkersfeild one. And um, I was just tired. And instead of telling her that, I got super mad and said some things that I regret. And also did a thing I regret. A lot. And I would explain everything to her if she answered whenever I called or texted but she didn't.”
“How bad was the argument?” She asks again.
“Pretty bad. It was our first, but it was really bad. Just words coming and pouring out.”
“Spencer, how long have you and Y/N been dating?” Derek asks in shock at the fact that he just said ‘first argument’.
“2 and half years now.”
“And you two have never fought? What's this secret that you're keeping from me.”
“Well you know, we had our mutual disagreements. And sometimes we argued a little but it was small and it lasted for like an hour. And right after we would apologize and everything would be okay. It would all be fine.” Spencer said, his voice got longer and slower as the words went on.
“Wow, um… Spencer. You really love her, don't you.” Derek asked.
“Yeah. I really do, don't I.” Spencer says while walking into the briefing room.
As everyone sat down Derek couldn’t help but to keep looking at him. He knew that Spencer was hiding something, he just didn't know what. Or how to figure it out.
“Okay everyone this is Isabella Stines. The latest victim of our new unsub. Police are calling him The Ditcher. Since, as you can see, they leave the body in ditches after what looks like hours and hours of tourture. 5 other people were found too. First was Mindy Kindle, then Jake Johnson. Next, Rosé Hinnings, then we have Jennifer Gordon. And last, and hopefully least, Kross Noing. The ‘K’ is silent.” Penelope says while everyone looks down at the picture of the crime scenes and blood smeared across the screen.
“Do they have anything in common?” Spencer asks just before his phone starts ringing. He immediately picks it up even though the rule that Hotch made up states that you can't answer phones when you’re in the briefing room getting briefed for a new case. “Y/N.” Spencer asks, not knowing who this was since he didn't have enough time to look at the caller ID. “No, this is Sharron Richard, her boss. She hasn't shown up to work for these past days and we’re getting worried. She has a case coming up and this is a big one for her. We’ve been trying to contact her, but she’s not answering. So we called you since she left you as her backup or whatever you call it. So, have you seen or heard from her?” Sharron asks over the phone.
“Um no I- I haven't.” Spencer mutters through the phone so no one except Sharron could hear it. Although that failed miserably.
“Oh, okay. Well if you hear from her, or see her anytime soon. Please tell her to contact us.” And with that the phone was hung up.
“Pretty boy what was that?” Derek asks.
“Uh, nothing. Just a call from Y/N’s work. Apparently she’s been missing. Although you already knew that so…” Spencer said while looking down at his phone more time, then putting it away. Everyone just gave him this weird look of dissatisfaction.
“Okay anyway, yes there are some similarities. And luckily, all of these are taking place here so you guys won't be flying out anywhere! Or wait, isn't that a bad thing?” Penelope exclaims.
“Garcia,” Hotch says in his natural stearn and damning voice.
“Sorry boss. Anyways, The ME found traces of propofol and thiopental in each of their systems. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's basically a drug that doctors use to get patients into a coma before surgeries and/or if it's needed medically.”
“So only doctors would have access to it?” Emily asks.
“Over here in Virginia, yes. There are no stores that sell it here due to too many people ODing.” Spencer answers. “Garcia, did the ME find any signs of sexual assault?”
“No they did not. Looks like it was just tourture.”
“Hey Garcia, did they have anything else in common?” Emily asks.
“Yeah check this out. Each of the victims have a medical visit to “The Charleston Hospital” the night before dying. Or getting captured at least. And, it looks like each of them came in after what looked like an action of abuse. It was hard to spot but luckily the bill got it.”
“Okay, thank you Garcia. JJ, Prentiss, come with me. We’re going to the crime scene. Rossi, you go to the ME. Morgan and Reid stay here and try to find some things and connections. And Garcia, you just do what you do best.” Hotch says while getting up.
Everyone was gone from the briefing room except for Garcia who was taking down some files, and Spencer, who was looking at the file. But one part in particular. Could it have happened. No, it couldnr have. Could it?
“Hey Garcia?” He asked.
“Yes sugar,”
“Can I get something?”
“Why of course, what is it that you need?”
“Um, I need records and security tapes.”
“Come with me my sweet child.” She says while walking out the door and into her office, or as she likes to call it, batcave.
“Okay here are the records for-” She got cut off by a frantic Spencer.
“No, not for them, but for Y/N Y/L/N.”
“Your girlfriend?” She asks.
“Yes, my girlfriend.”
“Um, okay. So yeah. It looks like she went to Charleston um about 3 nights ago for some stitches.”
“And the security tapes. From that night. Can you see where she went? Or if she got in her car?”
“You doubt me. Don't doubt me. Okay so here. It looks like she got into this car. But, it looks like there is someone with her. Im sorry Spencer.”
“Don't be. Just, what’s the licence plate numbers?”
“Um, 56HI90ZC3. Spencer, if you want, we can talk about it.” She says in a soft tone. Thinking that his girlfriend would be cheating on one of her friends.
“No not now. I just need you to track that car, can you do that?”
“Done. Okay so it looks like the last time the car was spotted was here, Cherry Ann Avenue. It looks like they took a turn in this field, and that's all.”
“Great, I need you to contact Hotch and Rossi, and tell them that we got the guy.”
“On it. But, hey do you wanna talk about it?”
“Garcia, we don't have any time. Someone I love is in danger and I don't wanna waste a single second.”
You woke up to the smell of blood, the sound of crickets, and a gut wrenching pain, everywhere across your body.. Crickets everywhere. You looked down to see many cuts. Cuts all over your body, everywhere. And in one place, you swear you saw a knife. What had happened? How long was I out? You tried to remember everything but all you could was getting in a fight with Spencer and then getting in a car with a doctor. Or a nurse, or whoever they were.
“Ah, so you're up.” Michael said as he walked up from the shadows behind him.
“Who are you and what do you want?” You say trying your best to back away from him but something ties you down.
“You forgot who I am already. I must have added a little more meds in there for you. Huh, well that's alright. I’m Michael. More professionally, Dr. Michael Gray.” You just sat there trying to hear him over the intense pain you were in. Almost as if you'd been stabbed 100 times, maybe you had, who knows. “You see, your boyfriend was being the abusive piece of shit he is and so now I'm helping you. Helping you get better.”
“You sick bastard. You're not helping me, you're causing me pain.” You say as he gets closer and closer to your face.
“Shut up!!” He says as he slaps you. “I know what I’m doing!! Do you know how many people I’ve put out of misery!!” He yells in your face. You can feel the spit reaching your face as he does this.
“You’ve hurt those people. You've put them through pain. So much pain. Instead, you could have helped them. But this, this is not help, no this is torture, abuse, assult.”
“I SAID SHUT UP!!” He yelled while throwing the metal tray on the table across the room. “YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE WHAT YOU'RE PATHETIC LITTLE BOYFRIEND DID TO YOU WAS GOOD. YOU DESERVED IT!! Don't deserve me, or my help!”
You were shocked. You were scared. You were terrified. But you didn't want to admit it. And the sad part is, all he truly wanted to do is help you. But just at that moment you heard sirens. Sirens everywhere, and they got louder and louder until you saw the colors. Flashing up against the brown wooden wall and the shag carpeting on the floor.
Suddenly you heard a loud bang, the door had come down. “Michael Gray!” You heard someone yell. “Michael, we know what you've done, and we know that you’re here!”
“No, this can't be happening. No no no no no. NO!” He yelled in panic. The most stupid thing to do when you’re trying to hide.
Suddenly 3 people came rushing to the room. One of them happened to be your boyfriend. Who ran over to you immediately without any hesitation.
“Hey Y/N, it's me, Spencer. You're gonna be okay.” He said while holding you. All you did was smile and nod. You wanted to tell him that you loved him, but you just couldn't. You were so sore and tired. And all you wanted to do was go to sleep. Even though you knew that you shouldn't have since, well, you know. You would probably die. But you just couldn't help it.
You woke to a bright light. Or multiple in this case. Why was everything so white. White hurts people. You felt a tug to your hand as you saw who was holding it, Spencer. He stayed. And for god knows how long. He was asleep, and you didn't want to wake him. Poor boy looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep for the past week or so. You checked the clock as the time read 10:37pm. Perfect, just the most perfect time to wake up. You tried to grab your phone, but you had to stretch to get it, and you were not doing that.
Spencer, although woke up from your failed attempt at grabbing your phone. “Y/N, you're awake.” He said dreamily with his eyes half shut.
“Hi Spencer.”
Once he truly realized what was going on, he jumped up from his seat and gripped your hand tighter than before. “Y/N baby, how are you? Are you okay?”
“Well, truthfully. No, I am not okay. I mean, I just got tortured for god know how long, and I think I’ve been asleep. But again, I don't know how long. And oh god, I had my case that I’ve been working on for the past 6 months that was supposed to happen and I missed it!” You say as if the world was ending. He just looks at you. No emotion, just stares.
“Y/N it’s okay. I sorted that out, don't worry. You’re just okay. Why did you go with them anyway?”
You don't know how to respond. Do you tell him everything, or tell him nothing at all. Do you leave out some bits? No, he deserves to hear the whole truth. “Spencer, after what happened that night, I was terrified of what was gonna happen if I came home. And my friends were out of town. So I really had no choice.”
“Y/N,” His voice cracked. “I am so sorry for what I did to you. I truly didn't mean to do that, it just happened. And I don't know why.”
“I know.”
“You probably hate me, and I get that. I would hate me too if I were you. I mean, look at what I put you through. I’m so sorry. And I understand if you wanna breakup and stuff. But, I just wanna say that I love you. I truly do.”
“Spencer,” You say while looking down at your hands, then back up. “I don't hate you. I could never hate you. Not after everything you’ve done for me. I love you, I do.”
He just smiled and kissed you on your forehead. “Y/N, you wanna about it?”
“Talk about what?”
“Everything that happened today.”
“Sure, but how about we talk about everything that happened the other day. I mean, I made you pie Spencer, Pie!” He just sat there while you were laughing looking into your eyes. “I love you.” He said. You just smiled and held his hand, “I love you too.”
tagging: @criminalmindsmoodrn, @marshmallowtraver, @ghostly-angelic, and @himarisolace
#criminal minds#spencer reid#reader x spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#mgg x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer#mira writes
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Hello, I was hoping to get a red velvet truffle...?
I use he/they pronouns and I have no gender preference. I'm an average height and im a minor, I don't know much about zodiac stuff but I think it depends on birthday and my bday is on september 4th.. and I have shaggy/wavy dark red box dyed hair that reaches my shoulders and brown eyes lol I wear neat glasses too. I have pretty cool piercings, I usually wear baggy clothes because I like to stay comfortable.
I'm a very lazy/laidback person and I like getting into alot of playful banter n joking around with people im comfortable with. I am very people dependent and I hate being alone. I don't consider myself all too smart to be honest I'm wistfully ignorant lol. I have a not so good temper. I have trouble putting my thoughts and emotions into words and instead they're more present....physically if that makes sense idk like i said before i have trouble with this shit lol. I try my best to help my friends with any issues they have but I'm kind of awful at it.I am a very passionate person and I think I can be a very good person but I'm just so full of doubt that it makes me wonder if I'm just lying yakno? LOL. I kind of really rather go with the flow of thinks yakno? I'm really easy to fluster/embarrass and I am way too sensitive for my own good.
Random lil things about me, I used to do karate I hated every second of it but I still think fighting cool as fuck, I have awful music taste none of it makes sense I go from nasty screaming music to soft cheesy love pop songs it sucks but im really into singing too, i like playing games any kind of games but I usually suck at them
I like dark and stormy weather nd hanging out with friends while just doin fun stuff. I really like savory foods as well. I dislike the heat and just being dirty/sweaty, I also have an irrational hatred of naps because i feel like im losing so much time i could be using to do stuff. My fears are being as bad as the people who hurt me in the past, and bugs haha. I really just wanna be successful in my life and amount to something! Have a good job a good house yakno yakno all that good stuff.
Traits I look for is someone who has a sense of humor even if its just a lil bit, someone sweet who will take time to understand me n stuff like that lol.. Someone I can find comfort in without feeling stupid about it. I really admire people who are empathetic since I have trouble being empathetic myself. Traits I'm not interested in are like people who are way too serious and uptight, not that being serious is a bad thing but i just can't groove with it.
Ok thats all, thank you very much :)❤ -👹🍁🌋
Heya! Tysm for requesting, and also in case you were curious, your main zodiac aka sun sign is Virgo (tho that doesn’t really come into play in your matchup mb 😅) Anyway, based on your info, I think you’d be perfect with...
Eijiro Kirishima!
«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»
Gosh you’re giving Tetsutetsu a run for his money with how similar you and Eijiro are! Both of you are passionate yet easygoing people... people (as in people-person but plural? ignore that it was so ineloquent 😅) who are more focused on and inclined towards the physical than anything else. On one hand it means youre unafraid of being close and touchy, and thus very affectionate with one another, which is good news for your dependency trait! On the other hand, you guys do have to study a LOT more than some of your other friends, most often with their help cause its not like you guys are gonna get anywhere by yourselves ffgjsvksdj But being in the same boat and bearing the brunt of it together makes it a lot better, trust! And you throw in plenty of gaming and joint hair-dying dates to balance it out dw ;0
Actually, I could go on and on about all the stuff you two get up to together! Plenty of sparring sessions since he loves a good ol fight just as much as you, hanging out with the bros while sharing savory snacks all around, and singing at the top of both your lungs to anything and everything, since I can see his music taste being all over the place, too. There’s never a dull or tense moment between you, as making you laugh (and occasionally taking advantage of your sensitivity since he thinks you’re the cutest thing in the world when you’re flustered ^w^) quickly become some of his favorite things to do.
Eiji is definitely able to stand your temper—just look at his blond best bud—and always calms you down whenever you rage. He also sees and loves how want to be a good person, help out those around you, and just make an impact. In his mind it’s super admirable that you’re even trying, and effort is half the battle after all! We’ve also seen how he’s struggled with self-image and self-doubt in the past, so he empathizes with your feelings in spades and is more than willing to help and encourage you while you overcome it. ALSO also, thinks all your piercings are manly as hell, and it probably inspires him to get some of his own, which sidenote he looks super hot in so tysm for blessing the world with that 🥺
All in all, you and Eijiro perfectly walk the line between comfortable and intimate. Every moment with him is filled with good vibes as he brings out the best in you, understanding, comforting, and protecting you (at least when any bugs show up for that last one lmfao) like no other while never minding any of your flaws! This guy’s honestly such a perfect sweetie but you more than deserve someone as great as him 💗💞
#order up: red velvet truffle!#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bnha matchup#mha matchup#anime matchup#kirishima eijiro#eijiro kirishima#kirishima bnha#bnha kirishima#kirishima mha#mha kirishima#kirishima x reader#eijiro kirishima x reader
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Twilight Rewrite
Fire in my Blood ~ Jasper Hale x OC ~ Book One: Chapter Five
Chapter One / Chapter Two / Chapter Three / Chapter Four
The radio sitting on Alessia's desk was set to low volume and the local all night news channel was ignored in favour of the history paper she was attempting to finish on the civil war. The computer keys tapping was giving the girl a headache and her alarm clock read 05:47 in bright red letters, it's too early for this but she has to finish this essay this morning if she wants to get any semblance of a Sunday. Her mind was fried from trying to write up all of the information contained in her APUSH textbook and she was a fraction of a second away from throwing her laptop out of her open window. Her concentration drifted for the third time that morning and while sighing she saved her word document and shut her screen off to give her brain a rest. Her eyes wandered across her room once again and she scanned the things that covered the walls, photos and memorabilia from throughout her life, at 17 she had collected a decent amount of stuff that lay tucked away in cubby holes or displayed on shelves on the walls, things were nestled in corners and they filled the drawers of the room. Her closet drew her attention and she walked towards it almost without thinking. Sliding open the door she let herself push her shoes off to one side while moving the shoeboxes that housed postcards and newspapers and tickets to football games and movies, one of them held her ribbons and certificates for cheerleading and a tiny statue gifted to her by Jacob, she quickly shoved that box aside.
It was the wooden floorboards beneath the boxes that she was interested in. The boards were discoloured and squeaked when she moved them, a minute of putting pressure on the furthest piece let it wedge free and it allowed her to pull up a second floorboard and pull an ornate box from the hole in the floor. This box had never been seen by anyone other than her and her mother, who gave it to her when she left her father. It normally hurt her to look at the box but she was tired and her emotions weren't ruling her head.
The box was oak wood coloured a deep burgundy and it was carved in the shape of a ballerina, the edges of the lid were lined with metal in a lace pattern and it met in the front to form a lock, Alessia needed the key.
Standing from her position kneeling on the floor she set down the box on her bed before walking to her desk and opening the top drawer of a small jewelry box and she let her eyes fall on a small emerald green ribbon that encircled a small black key, grabbing the tiny key she sat cross-legged on her bed and turned the key hearing a tiny click and slowly lifted the lid hearing the tiny tune of 'The Rose Adagio' from the Sleeping Beauty ballet chime throughout the room in its twinkling music box sound, and the tiny figure sitting at the top of the box spun around to the music played for her, pale glass skin with a brunette hair and a pink tutu with roses in her extended arm. This was a tiny Aurora dancing her way through her song.
The contents of the box is what Alessia was looking for, sitting at the top of the box was the only photograph Alessia had of her mother. It was taken when Alessia was four, her brown hair was held in curly pigtails and she sat with a big smile, next to her was a toddler Bella, looking up at her big sister smiling at her, Bella was sitting in their mothers lap and Renée was smiling down at their youngest, that was common in almost every instance of their lives, Renée's attention was almost always on Bella. It was something that caused Alessia a lot of pain when she was growing up and for a long time she told herself her mommy didn't love her because she did something wrong. Setting the photograph aside she continued to go through the box, a small necklace belonging to her grandmother was taken out too, it was a Tiffany necklace from the fifties and it was priceless to Alessia, she slipped the necklace around her neck and the added weight it put over her heart comforted her. More sentimental objects came out of the box including the first dollar she earned at the diner and a dried daisy she got in a meadow in the forest. At the bottom of the box sat a pair of black satin pointe shoes, beautiful black ballet slippers with their box in tact and their black ribbons freshly sewn in. She carefully took them out of the box and held them in her hands, turning them in her palms and observing the undamaged fabric, they haven't been used yet, they were still brand new after her accident.
A single photograph laid underneath those inky slippers. A 15 year old Alessia in a white leotard and a beautiful romantic length tutu standing in front of a wall at a competition in Seattle, she was holding a beautiful pique arabesque and she looked so regal and happy, happier than she has in a long time.
Ballet was never Bella's thing, she was chronically clumsy and she always tried to find any possible reason to skip her lessons at her school in Arizona, but to Alessia dancing was as easy as breathing. After a lot of begging at the age of 4 Alessia was enrolled in the tiny dance school that was in the middle of town just above the town newspaper and for the next 10 years Alessia worked with her teacher Madam Olivia and she grew up to dance beautifully, that Christmas she played Clara and the Sugarplum Princess in the Nutcracker, but not three months later at the end of March she was running through the woods when Sam Uley tried to rip her chest open. She hasn't danced since.
Letting her mind come away from the photograph in her hand she looked towards the window seeing it was just beginning to get light outside and she pulled her cellphone out of her pocket and sent a message to Alice.
°Hey what are you doing right now?°
>Nothing at the moment, why?<
°Can you meet me outside the paper, I have something fun we can do, wear leggings!°
>I'm on my way<
Putting her phone in her bag she changed her pajamas out for leggings and a black t-shirt and put her shoe bag into the backpack she was packing, taking the photograph and the point shoes and leaving them on her bed before locking the box back up and returning it to it's spot beneath the floorboards and turning to slide on her trainers and grab the contents of her bag and her pointe shoes, setting the photograph on her dresser next to the one of her and the Cullens and sliding out of the door and beginning to run to the studio.
Alessia would have expected to see her friend extremely angry for dragging her out of the house at 6 am if she knew that Alice actually needed to sleep, instead she saw the beautiful girl stood with her kind smile in a jacket and leggings outside of the building that housed the Forks Forum and as she sped up her run to meet her Alice gave Alessia an awkward stare, "I don't think I've ever seen you run."
Her quip was met with a half hearted punch in the shoulder as Alessia led her around the side of the building to a set of stairs and began to ascend them, most stores in town were only opening in 30 minutes so the street was dead and her and Alice seemed to be the only ones around. Alessia reached a single door that had a ballet shoe on the window glass and began to wrack her mind for the location of the school's spare key, Madame Olivia told her to use it to let herself in if she ever needed extra practice time and the memory of constantly being in that studio lead her to look at a loose brick in the side of the building, pulling it away from the wall revealed the silver key needed to unlock the door and showing it to Alice with a vocal "aha!" gained a laugh from the petite vampire.
Pushing the door open into the small reception area felt like opening a door to her childhood and she couldn't help the smile that fell on her lips, she was too busy looking around the room she didn't notice Alice standing at the small trophy case in the corner and pointing at a photograph, "Is this you?"
When Alessia came close enough to see the photo in question she laughed a really genuine laugh before nodding and smiling "Yes, I was 14 and we were doing a showcase with all of the dance schools in Washington, each school got assigned a ballet to perform a piece from and our school got Giselle, that's me in the front."
Moving away from the case she pulled Alice in past another set of doors and switched on the lights to show a familiar room full of mirrored walls and ballet barres. The next hour of their morning was spent with Alessia and Alice goofing off working through different warm up excercises and technique work. Alice, displaying that she was in fact not human anymore, had amazing strength and flexibility and with Alessia only running through everything once she was soon dancing like she had been all her life. Alessia was a little out of practice but cheer kept her fit and healthy so she soon got right back into the swing of things and their hour was some of the most fun she'd had in a long time. After their hour long session Alice began to beg her to teach her an actual routine, and Alessia caved because she knew she couldn't say no to those golden eyes. Travelling to the back storage room she saw rows upon rows of pink satin shoes, brand new, not even out of their bags yet. Grabbing a few sizes and makes she backed out of the room to size them for her friend, and while she knew realistically that Alice couldn't injure herself if her shoes fit wrong she still would want them to look right. After finding her size and showing her how to put them on, she began to sew in the ribbons while telling Alice to grab the MP3 player out of her bag. Putting the other shoes away she had Alice put of the pointe shoes and do a few more barre excercises to get used to going on pointe and trying to keep her technique correct, naturally Alice didn't need too much help before she could do it perfectly and the tiny girl moved into the centre of the floor to practice some more while Alessia lifted the beautiful black shoes out of her bag and slipped them on her feet. She still remembers when she got them, shopping in Port Angeles with her father she saw them in the window of a dance shop and with her left over money from Christmas she bought them with every intention of wearing them to class the next day, she never got the chance. Rising onto pointe was like coming home for Alessia and without realising she shed a tear before letting herself go through a few movements that she wanted to make sure she wouldn't hurt herself on, with everything in place she took the MP3 from Alice and scrolled to something familiar, walking Alice through the 'Waltz of the Snowflakes' wasn't too dificult and once Alice got the basics down they ran it twice more before Alice asked to see something Alessia could do. Her eyes fell onto the name of a familiar ballet and she pressed play letting herself fall into a series of movements that felt like second nature as the sweet flutes guided her into dancing 'Juliet's Variation' from Act 1 of Romeo and Juliet. It was always easy for Alessia to get lost in the moment of her dancing, she remembered each and every step and pirouette and pas de bouree that Madame Olivia taught her and even though she made a few mistakes being out of practice and all she still knew her musical cues and to Alice she danced ethereally. To Alice and the shadow watching from the door.
The music signalled her to pause and in her minds eye she could see the partner that wasn't there, Romeo entering the party and meeting Juliet in his disguise, before she was swept away to continue.
Coming to a halt in the centre of the room Alessia was no longer in a ballroom being caught by Paris and Tibult, she was looking at Alice and smiling widely, and she was shocked out of her thoughts by a voice at the door. "Your arms weren't strong and you were off your foot, the turns weren't perfect and you were sloppy on your leaps."
Alessia snapped around to see a familiar lithe frame wrapped up in her black dress standing in the doorway, her grey hair tucked away in a french twist. A moment passed and Madame Olivia walked towards her and let her stern face pull into a happy, kind one, "But you dance beautifully Ma Cherie I'm so glad that you are back."
Alessia returned the warm hug and let herself sag in relief, she felt good, she hasn't felt this good since she bought these shoes. Olivia turned to Alice then and continued speaking, "and what is your name child?" Alice responded in her sweet fashion and Olivia complimented her on her technique and began to make corrections again, pulling the pixi girl aside to teach her correct positions and help her with her turns, Alessia watched until Olivia snapped at her in her 'Madame voice' to get back to running the variation again, Alessia smiled and hit replay letting herself get lost once more.
Walking out of the studio and down the stairs at 11 am was like stepping back into her life for Alessia, she chatted with Alice, the two laughing and joking about the fact that Olivia was obsessed with Alice's "Natural talent" and when they turned the corner to walk back onto Main Street they were greeted with the sight of Jasper waiting by the car for them. Alessia managed to claim shotgun to sit next to the guy who was quickly becoming her favourite person while Alice sat in the middle of the back seat declaring that she at least got to choose that was playing on the radio. The idle chatter was broken by Jasper asking if Alessia wanted to play baseball with them this afternoon. "I mean sure but there is gonna be a thunderstorm you know, but hey, lead me to my doom why don't you." The laughter she pulled out of both siblings made her own smile widen, she was having such a good day today.
With the car pulling into her driveway she got out and let Jasper know she would catch a ride with Bella and Edward as much as she really didn't want to be stuck in a car with all of that sexual tension, she hadn't spent much time with her sister recently and she wanted to at least check in with her.
The click of the front door closing and the sound of her bag hitting the floor is what prompted Charlie Swan to race into the living room to see his oldest daughter watching South Park reruns while eating rice cakes and he almost had a heart attack for the second time today. "You can't just show up out of no where after disappearing all morning and give me no warning Alessia, I thought something happened!" His voice cracked under the stress, "Where even were you?!"
Alessia muted the TV before walking up to him and patting his shoulder before pointing to the kitchen table where her pointe shoes sat, worn with the mornings activities. Charlie didn't give off too much of a reaction but she could see the worry in his eyes dissolve into pride and joy. After the accident Alessia's depression and grief over what had happened caused her to completely abandon ballet. When she moved on to her freshman year of highschool she joined the cheer team to keep herself busy and hopefully keep her mind occupied. It was so bad that Alessia made Charlie take down every ballet photograph of Alessia he had. The fact that she was dancing again made his relieved and happy. Alessia smiled at her dad's happy face while he pulled her into a tight hug, the type of dad hug that couldn't help but make you feel safe and cared for, whatever Renée had against her father Alessia has been getting these hugs all her life, and she couldn't remember the last time her mother called to talk to her.
A shower was well deserved after her active morning, she hasn't used the muscles she used today in over two years and she knew that if she didn't ice her body she was going to be seriously crippled in the morning, after a hot shower to wash away the sweat and clean her hair she filled the bath her with freezing cold water and sat in it for 30 minutes, she definitely didn't miss this.
Her earlier clothes were swapped out for a Washington State Cougars t-shirt, leggings and her addidas superstars and she braided her hair to keep it out of her eyes, hearing a beep from outside bad her meeting Bella on the stairs and grabbing her hand as she passed Charlie with a kiss on his cheek and the two sisters sat in the car of Edward Cullen as he drove them off to the field where the rest of the Cullens were waiting.
The clouds were rolling dark as they pulled up to a clearing and by the time the car stopped Alessia was already out of the car and sprinting towards the Cullen's who stood on their DIY baseball court. Jasper caught the girl by her legs when she jumped on his back and him preteding to fall over caused Alessia to scream and start laughing, he eventually put her down after swinging her around a bit until she leaned over his back and whispered in his ear "Please put me down sugar." He pushed her shoulder and she stuck her tongue out before walking over to Esme to get her scheduled 'momma hug'. Esme pulled away slightly before wrapping her arm around her shoulder and walking a ways away from the group with her.
"You make him happy you know, you bring this whole family joy but Jasper especially. You know the day they met you in school he came home and pulled me aside and told me about the pretty girl in his history class. They might be hundreds of years old but all of my boys are the same, they go to Carlisle for advice about important decisions and morality, but anything to do with love, or feelings or anything like that they all know to talk to their mother." Esme told Alessia with a smile that only a mother could have. "If you don't mind me asking Esme, how did you all come to be a family?" Alessia asked looking into the amber eyes of the kind woman before her, who took her by the hand as the baseball game began and lead her to a fallen tree branch to the left of the field. Esme sat down on the branch fully expecting Alessia to sit down beside her but she was surprised when the brunette sat on the ground with her eyes looking up expectantly, like a child waiting to be told a story. The thought made Esme smile because she knew all too well what had happened to the girl. She remembered the night her husband came home after an excruciating surgery talking about how he had to stitch a little girl back together after their warewolf rivals ripped through her. Vampires couldn't cry, because they were not alive anymore, but Esme had never seen Carlisle more broken than the night he sat down and told her about the tiny little human they almost lost, but who despite all odds decided to survive and who would go on to make a full recovery. They decided as a pair to watch over the child and placed her under the covens protection because they knew she was special, her blood had no scent and Alice could see her future, and it was one the Cullens would be involved in. The fact that all of the pain Alessia suffered wasn't enough to break her and that she was still able to hold some of her childish nature made Esme happy to see.
Esme launched into the tale of the basics of their covens formation while Alessia listened intently. "Carlisle was the first one turned, in 1663. He knew he couldn't stay in London so he moved around perfecting his self control around human blood and his compassion for human life is the reason we drink animal blood instead of human. He turned almost every single person in this family, first was Edward." Esme felt a head lean against her leg and she looked down to see Alessia staring up at her with absolute fascination and her undivided attention, Esme continued. "After a while Edward left Carlisle to travel and be alone, that's when I met him, back in 1911, I was 16." She smiled fondly at the memory, "he changed me in 1921 when I was dying in the hospital, he remembered me and decided he couldn't let me die, so he changed me. We married some time later.
The next one changed was Rosalie, Carlisle found her beaten and bleeding in the streets and saved her life in 1933 and she found Emmet and Carlisle saved his life two years later.
The only ones Carlisle didn't change himself were Alice and Jasper, they found each other, then joined us in 1950, and now we live in Forks Washington, where we met you and now we are playing baseball." Esme finished with a smile looking down at the girl who was processing all of that information with her brow creased and a small smile on her face. Esme started to run her fingers through the brown locks when Alessia spoke up in a quiet laugh, "Wow, you guys are like, super old." The two began to laugh when suddenly the atmosphere changed and Alice calls for the game to be over, clearly sensing something was wrong by the look on her face. Esme grabbed Alessia and moved her back to the group at a speed that quite frankly gave her a headache and the first person to greet her was Jasper who held onto her protectively while the others fussed over Bella trying to mask her scent. Jasper could feel Alessia's sudden confusion and panic before he whispered in her ear. "There are other vampires trespassing on our lands, you don't have any scent so just stay calm and act normal, you'll be fine," he lifted her eyes to meet his honeyed ones before leaning his forehead on her own, "Gotta be brave darlin' I'll protect you till the end of time."
The nod than Alessia gave was only enough to let her stand wrapped in Jasper's hold and she began to feel like she could pull this off, slowing her heartbeat with deep breaths long enough to walk into a better formation with the vampires hiding Bella, she could fake their confidence if it was her life on the line.
The clearing they were in was quickly occupied by three strangers, two men and a woman who began talking to the Cullens before Carlisle announced that they could play because three of their players were leaving. This cue prompted Alessia to look up at the trio in front of her and find out just what exactly has everyone so spooked.
The three strangers had approached the group, two men and a woman, all of them had that inhuman beauty that the Cullens possessed but there was something different that Alessia couldn't put her finger on. The air was tense and it made her feel a fear she wasn't used to. Jasper seemed to joke with the female of the group while giving Alessia a look to say 'move over to where Edward and your sister are'. She remembered what he had said about staying calm so while trying to keep from shaking she looked towards the three intruders who she found were now looking directly at her, she greeted their stares with a confident smile and reached up to wrap her arms around Jasper's neck. She would absolutely not remember what was about to happen in the next thirty seconds but she panicked and this was how she thought to make it seem plausible that she was in fact with the Cullens not just an afternoon snack.
She really wasn't thinking anymore but ice cold lips on her own wasn't nearly as bad as she had thought, and she could only thank the stars that Jasper wasn't as much of an idiot as some other boys are because a possessive arm slid around her waist and the kiss deepened letting her fall into the feeling and relax enough to actually let her mind register that she was kissing Jasper...
HOLY SHIT SHE WAS KISSING JASPER.
At least one of the two of them was still keeping their head in the situation because Jasper pulled himself away and made a clear sign of lightly bumping his nose with her own affectionately, "go" he whispered to her before she looked back at her audience to see the darker skinned man had lost interest and the pale one was now staring at Edward, but the girl, with her firey hair and crimson eyes, her gaze was locked on Alessia as the girl walked to her sister. Chaos erupted as Alessia's back was turned and before she knew it the three strangers were speaking about the Cullens keeping human pets. We so much for being stealthy.
It wasn't until after Carlisle managed to get the intruders to leave that Alessia's legs seemed to be replaced with jello and she fell to the ground hitting her palm on a sharp stone. Emmet was the one who lifted her up and put her her in the car with Bella and Edward before the three of them sped off back towards town, the look on Edwards face was enough to tell Alessia that there genuinely was a reason to panic now as there were absolutely three vampires chasing them but the adrenaline in her bloodstream and the thought in the fore front of her mind telling her that she was the big sister and that she needed to be brave to protect Bella didn't let her lose her cool. She was brought back to reality by Bella shaking her and pointing down at her hand. "Is that blood!?"
Alessia looked down to see that sharp rock had in fact sliced into her hand and now rich streams of blood were streaming down her fingers, but apparently Alessia left all her smart ideas back in Jasper's mouth because the only answer that came to her mind was "No?"
Bella exploded at her dumbass answer "That's not something you can answer with another question!"
"Bells listen it's fine my blood doesn't affect boy toy in the front seat okay so chill out."
Edward took the chance to pipe in at that point "Maybe so but I can still hear you talking about it so focus, you both are in danger, James is a hunter so he will be after you both and he won't stop until he gets you, we have to get you are far away from forks as possible."
Alessia hated this plan but quite frankly she didn't have much of a choice. The idea of leaving her dad was heartbreaking to her but she would do anything to keep him safe. She ran into the house after Bella and while her younger sister ran up the stairs to pack ranting and raving about needing to leave, Alessia looked at her dad's confused and distraught face and told him that she would follow Bella and talk some sense into her, that she was taking Alice's car and that she would be back with Bella soon. She grabbed some bandages from the kitchen and sloppily wrapped up her hand and ran back out the door giving her father a kiss and telling him she loved him, she didn't know when she would get to see him again. Edward and Bella sat in his car when she jumped in just in time to see Charlie run out after them through the rearview mirror as they drove away to the Cullen's house. Thoroughly heartbroken she glared at Edward through the mirror and asked him "Was that really necessary?" He only nodded and said that if Alessia wanted to keep Charlie safe that she had to leave because not only was James after Alessia, the woman Victoria was too.
Pulling up to the Cullen's house the first person to greet Alessia was Jasper who grabbed her arms before looking her over for any injuries, his eyes narrowing when they landed on her wrapped hand. She promised him she was fine and before any more words could be exchanged between them she was handing Rosalie her clothes and being bundled into the back of Alice's car with her sister as it pulled away from the house and set off towards Phoenix Arizona. As much as Alessia loved road trips she had never been on one that caused her to look over her shoulder every 5 minutes because there were homicidal vampires trying to drain her like their own personal bloodbag. The ride was quiet and feeling the same comforting feeling she looked towards the driver's seat to see Jasper focusing on the road ahead of him, but she knew he was trying to help, to look after her. His calm settled over her and Bella like a weighted blanket and Alessia fell asleep for most of the trip.
She dreamed about the blonde boy she had come to care about, and it was a wonderful dream. A dream that was interrupted by scratching of a pencil on paper and Alice having what looked like some sort of fit, fully awake now and kind of scared she realised that they were in their Phoenix hotel room and Alice was drawing something. Once the fit ceased the drawing was of the incredibly familiar ballet school that was home to Alessia on the summers that she visited her mom. After Alice, Jasper and Bella left the room for a reason Alessia wasn't paying attention to the hotel room phone rang and in true horror movie fashion the only remaining member of the group answered it...
Incredibly familiar music filled her ears as Juliet's Variation played through the speaker, which was weird but when her mother's voice called over it, calling for Alessia her blood ran cold and she dropped the phone on the floor. Without thinking about this situation she flew through the door and booked it down the service stairwell in the back of the building, the Arizona heat was melting her brain but she kept running, the studio wasn't far and if she ran she could save her mother.
The lights weren't on but she could still hear the happy tune floating through the building. Walking into the main ballroom she looked around to try and find her mother, but seeing no one there she switched her attention to where the music was coming from.
It didn't take long.
But by then it was too late.
Hearing the piece draw to a close her memory told her mind that when the last note hit she should see Romeo standing before her.
But all she saw was an empty room.
And as the music came to its abrupt end...
The burning in her arm caused her to let out a gut wrenching scream. The fire in her lungs and her head and her veins called her legs to give out, and her head to hit the floor,
And her heart to stop.
~ A/N ~
Oh my god that was long 😂
Anyway here's a link to Juliet's Variation so you can see the dance for yourself.
https://youtu.be/6awUwiWAtnI
youtube
And I hope you enjoyed!
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#alice cullen#edward cullen#jasper hale#jasper hale x reader#original character#rosalie hale#rosalie twilight#twilight rewrite#twilight#twilight x reader#x oc#fire in my blood#Alessia Swan OC
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Spencer woke up to a splitting headache. His eyes not being quite able to focus on his surroundings. He thinks back to the last thing he can remember.
He returned home after a week long case at 10:28 pm. He placed his bag on the couch, after slipping off his shoes by the door. He then went to his kitchen to get a drink. When he went to grab a cup something heavy hit the back of his head. Now he was here. Hands strapped down to either chair arm, ankles strapped to the legs. The chair was old and wooden, possibly he could break out of it, but he was still dizzy so he wouldn't be able to get far even if he did.
The room was pretty dark, the only light coming though a few small holes in the wall. The space was small, metal walls.
Ah, all this thinking hurt his head even more.
He didn't have to wait long before he heard a creak and saw more light stream in from the doors in front of him.
"Oh good, you're awake." The silhouetted man said as he walked in. His voice was a deeper pitch than Reid's and seemed to be filled with a genuine happiness. "Didn't want you out for too long." The man seemed to be meddling with something, setting something up possibly.
Reid decides to do what he was taught, profile, empathize. "What's your name?"
The man laughed "uh uh uh," he said as if telling a child no. "All in good time, Spencer." The man spat out the name as if it was distasteful. "That's what you are called now right? Spencer? Ha, pitiful." The man steps back from the structure he put up. He pokes the top of it and a red light turns on as he steps behind it adjusting where it points. Not another camera. The man steps out of the room a few times each time bringing something back with him. Two chairs, some cords, a briefcase. Once he's finally set up he walks over to Reid who has been trying to figure out where they are, who this man is, and what all the stuff is for.
"Now," he says with a smile, "we are going to talk to some friends of yours. You will answer some questions, honestly, if you lie or try to pull any tricks, there will be consequences. Okay?" Reid doesn't answer right away making the man go from smiling to enraged in a second. He smacks him hard across the face. "I said, OKAY?"
Reid nods quickly "okay, okay." He whispers out, voice cracking a bit.
The man smiles again "great!" His voice is happy again. He walks back over to the computer typing a few things in before cheerfully saying "and we're live!"
× Back at the BAU ×
Morgan and Emily were laughing when JJ walked up to them "Has anybody seen Reid? He's not picking up his phone." She seemed worried. Most of them had been concerned about this last case, it was so similar to the Tobais Hankle case most of the team had kept a close eye on Reid the whole time.
All she got was two 'no's and a few more worried faces. "He's never late." Emily stated. "Here, let me try calling him." Her call goes unanswered as well.
Morgan sighs, the worry lines increasing on his forehead "We should check on him. Maybe this last case affected him more than we thought." The girls nod. Morgan let's Hotch knows what's going on and he gives him permission to check out their young genius.
When he gets to Reid's appartment he feels a slight wave of unease. He knocks on the door just for it to creak open under the pressure of his knuckles. He draws his weapon, pushing open the door further. "Reid? You here kid?" Morgan scans the appartment. Reids shoes. Piles of books. Reids shoulder bag. An open fire escape window. A broken glass. Some blood. Shit. Morgan holsters his weapon and dials Hotch. "He's gone, there's a broken glass, some blood surrounding it, the fire escape window is open. Looks like he was taken, Hotch."
"Alright, I'll let the team know, I'll send Prentiss and Rossi out." Hotch explains.
Hotchner walks out of his office and calls out for his team to meet him in the conference room. They all file in soon after him. "Reid has gone missing. Morgan went to his house and may have found signs of a struggle. Prentiss, Rossi, I want you to-"
Garcia bursts into the room, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "Sir, you need to come see this." The team follows their distressed tech analyst. She opens the door to her tech room as she starts to explain what happened. "S-sombody hacked me. A-and they put a video feed on my computer. And- just look!" They do and what they see shocks them to their core. It's Reid, tied to a chair, blood on his arm and a light welt on his cheek. "I'm trying to track it now but I'm comming up with nothing."
"Now we are going to play a little game." A voice says cheerfully from out of the scene. Spencer glares at something behind the camera, following it with his eyes. A figure steps into frame with a brief case. Hotch is already calling Morgan to come back, informing him on what is happening.
"So, Spencer," the man said the name like he was mocking it. "How has my boy been?" Emphasizing the word 'boy'.
Spencer looked confused. "I don't know who you are, how can I be your anything?" The man laughs slapping a hand on Reids shoulder, the team doesn't miss the flinch.
"Haha, yeah, I guess it has been a while, hasn't it?" The man stands. "Well allow me to reintroduce myself. I'm Francis." He does an exaggerated bow with a smirk. Spencer stiffens, eyes widening in fear. Spencer tries to push himself further away from the older man. "Ah, so you do remember me." The man looks amused. "You certainly look different from the last time I saw you." He caresses Reids cheek.
"Why are you doing this?" Reid bites back. "I left you behind eleven years ago! Why now?" Reid was getting angry, emotional.
The team watches shocked at their youngest member, they had never seem this side of him before.
"Oh Reid, you don't get to ask the questions here." He opens the suitcase pulling out a what looked like the end of a fishing rod, without the line loops. He harshly smacks Reid across the face, a gash appearing on his cheek. "But~ if you must know... you are not the first in this mission. I'm just trying to clean up the filth of the world." The mans voice gets darker, angrier as he continues. "Your kind has tainted our world and I need to clean you up! To remind you what you really are! Scum that are just FAKING FOR ATTENTION!" He hits Reid again. He grabs Reids face and points it at the camera. "Why don't you tell them what you are, what you've done."
Reid shakes his head. "No, please... no." Tears slip silently down his face. The rest of the team are tearing up as well. Morgan just walked in. "I-I can't."
Hotch takes his role as leader back. "Garcia," the colorful lady snaps her attention to him. "Find out if Reid has any past with a man named Francis. We need to find him before he hurts him anymore." Let's try to find out where he is, profile this Francis and find out his next move before he can make it." The team nods and starts to do what they do best.
"Admit your sins." Francis' voice has a dangerous tone. "Admit, repent, and be forgiven."
Spencer looks absolutely terrified. "A-admit what?"
He lashes the poor boy yet again. "Don't act like you don't know!" He quiets down. "Everything. How much you enjoyed that day on the post. What Mr. Wyatt did, and how you loved every second of it. What a special snowflake you are. Who I am to you." He gets closer to the crying boy. "Tell them everything."
Reid takes a breath, composing himself the best that he could. Then looks Francis in the eye. "This isn't about me, is it?" The older man looks taken a back. "This is about you. I remember you, your father. He was always such a mean man. You told me that. He was a strict Christian who believed that homosexuality was a disease, a sin. But he never knew you were bisexual. When he found out he must have been furious."
Francis starts to get agitated. "Shut up. You know nothing."
Reid gives a sad chuckle. "I know more than you think. You got caught. The next day you had me to prove to your dad you were exactly how he wanted you to be."
"Shut up."
"Really, a twelve year old? You couldn't find someone your own age? Was I just easier?" Spencer gets louder, expressing his own rage.
"I said SHUT UP!" He lashes Spencer again. He reached into the case and pulled out a needle. "I heard you really liked this stuff. Dilaudid, right?"
Reid panics seeing the needle. "No no no no. Please! No!" He watches as the plunger goes down. He slips into the oblivion.
"Spencer." His mother said. "What a wonderful name." The nine year old kid broke down as his mother pulled him into a hug. "You know I will always love you, you are the best son a mother could ask for."
"Thank you, I love you too." He squeaks out.
...
"You're WHAT?" His father shouted. Spencer takes a few steps back. "I will NOT raise such a FREAK in my house!"
"I'm sorry." He whispers curling into himself as his father looms over him. "I'm sorry."
His mother steps in before a swing can come. "Leave him alone!"
"Fine, you wanna raise a FREAK? I'm leaving!" And he walked out the door.
"I'm sorry, mom." She goes to comfort her son. "I'm so sorry."
"I'm sorry." Reid mumbles as he comes to. "I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for?" Francis asks as if he was genuinely curious.
"I-" Reid clears his throat. "I made my dad leave. It was my fault."
"How did you do that?" Same innocent tone in his voice.
"I told him. About me. Who I wanted to be. My mom was supportive, I thought he would be too." He stifles a sob.
"What else are you sorry about?" Francis asks, more deviously.
"The goal post." Reid looks up challengingly. "That's one you want to know right?" Francis stays quiet. Spencer looks to the ground as he recalls the memory. "A-after the football team was done with me, they left me. Standing there, tied up, naked. My geometry teacher got me down, but it came at a price. He-" Spencer paused biting back tears. "He wanted to have some fun with me too." He chokes back a sob turning to face Francis again. "Is that what you want?" He cried.
"Now tell them what you are." He says sauntering up to the broken agent. "Then I can free you before you commit another sin."
× BAU ×
Garcia hit the call button for the conference room, bubbling with anticipation. As soon as she heard the click she started letting out a rush of information. "Hotch, I found something about Francis."
"What did you find?" He asked, attention fully on her.
"Well, first his name is Francis Thompkins. Reid said he got rid of him eleven years ago so I went back. Reid would have been in high school. So I crossed everyone that went to a high school near where Reid lived with the name Francis. And I got a quite a few hits. But, when he said something about him being used, I looked into their histories and one had an accusation of sexual assault of a minor. A-a twelve year old. Who ended up dropping the charges." Garcia lost momentum towards the end. Everyone knew who the kid was.
"What about now a days? Businesses, house, anything in his name?" Hotch requests.
"Uh," Garcia types away on her keyboard. "Yes, yes. He works at a local restaurant, has a house and a storage unit in his name. Sending info to your phones now."
"Thanks Garcia." Hotch says as he hangs up. "Let's go." Everyone rushes out of the conference room, half going to the house and half to the storage unit.
× Reid ×
"No." He says firmly. "Not like this."
"Such a shame, I'll just have to send you to hell like the sinner you are then." He bends down to the briefcase one last time and pulls out a revolver. "And to think, you could have grown up to be beautiful, but you gave it all up." He stares at the gun as if looking at a loved one. "I really am going to miss you Sarah. You never did leave my mind, I was so happy to be your first, why not be your last?" His devilish smirk making Spencer go into a panic.
× BAU ×
"Yeah, Hotch we are almost at the storage unit." Morgan spoke weaving through traffic.
"We couldn't find anything at his house. His car is gone too." Hotchner states "Emily, JJ, and I are doing a sweep to see, if they aren't at the storage unit, where they might be headed."
"Alright, we'll call in if we find anything." Morgan hangs up as they enter the storage lot. They look around for the unit in Francis Thompkins name. A134. A red pickup is parked in front of it. They call Hotch and tell him that he's there before approaching the unit. The bottom of the door was left open. They can hear crying coming from inside.
"Please, just stop. Kill me. Please." They can hear their youngest member sobbing.
Morgan and Rossi carefully lift the unit door and prep their guns.
"FBI! Hands where I can see them!" Rossi shouts. Francis obliges. Putting his hands in the air. The gun was left by the case what he started to have his fun. "Stand up and turn around, slowly." He does, and when he's fully turned both men are disgusted. They realise what the man had been doing to their poor boy, who was bent over the chair hands and feet tied, pants pulled down. Both men try to control their anger. "On your knees, hands on your head." He does as he's told sending one last smirk to Reid, which finally breaks him as he starts to sob. Morgan helps Reid while Rossi cuffs Francis.
"I'll see you again one day Sarah." Francis cackles as he is dragged away by Rossi.
"I'm a boy." Reid mumbles. "Right?" He looks to Morgan.
"Yes, you are a boy. Always have been, always will be. No matter what that bastard says." He hugs the trembling kid. He quickly cuts the bonds on his wrists and ankles. Reid pulls up his pants. Morgan helps Spencer out of the storage unit and over towards the car.
Rossi meets them half way. "Police, ambulance, and the rest of the team are on their way." Spencer just nods. Morgan gently sets him down so he is leaning against the building. Before anyone knows what's happening Spencer is unconscious.
...
Spencer wakes to the sound of voices and beeping. He tries to open his eyes but it's so bright, he closes them again with a groan. He feels someone grab his arm. That gets his attention. He yanks his arm away, breathing erratic, eyes wide, trying to recognize who just grabbed him. "M-morgan?" He calms, settling back into the bed. "What happened?" He looks around the room noticing some of his other team member scattered about, not dating to move, as if they might spook him.
Aaron is the first to break the silence. "You had a mild concussion, and the drugs in your system were still in effect, so the doctors think, when the adrenaline wore off you crashed." Reid just nods at the information.
Reid looks down at his lap. "How much did you see?"
Morgan bites this bullet. "Almost everything, we didn't see the last few minutes, even Garcia turned it off, we knew you wouldn't want us to see you like that."
"I'm sorry." Tears start to well up in his eyes.
"Hey," Rossi makes his way toward the bed. "You have nothing to be sorry about." He rests a hand on the kids shoulder. Reid looks up meeting the mans kind gaze. "If anything we should be sorry for not finding you sooner." Reid pulls Rossi into a hug, grabbing Morgan too. JJ and Garcia walk in with coffee for everyone, and a jello for Spencer. He gives them both a hug and happily starts savoring his little gelatinous snack.
After a few minutes of banter and jokes Reid decides now or never. "Hey, I have something I need to tell you." The team's attention is focused on Reid in an instant. "It's about Francis, you deserve to know how I know him." The team stays quiet. "When I was in high school, I used to be a tutor.
"Hey, you must be that genius that's supposed to teach me history, right?" The older brunette boy says sitting across the table.
Reid adjusts his glasses. "Yeah, and you're Francis Thompkins, right?" The boy nods. "Alright, so first what subject is it and I need a time and place on where to meet you for your sessions."
The older boy slid closer to Reid. "Alright, American History, 1950-1980s important events and how about." He takes a piece of paper and a pen and scribbles his address on it putting it in Reids front pocket for him. "My place, at 5?" He leaves his hand there, it makes Reid uncomfortable so he scoots away.
"Sure, I'll see you at 5." Reid quickly gets up and walks away.
× 5:00 ×
Reid knocks on the door of the address he was given. Francis opens the door with a wide smile. "Alright, where should I put my stuff?" He asks walking in.
"My room is fine, follow me." He leads Reid to his room, filled with half naked ladies on posters, and bands. Reid places his bag by the end of the bed and bends to dig though it when he feels something pull on his jeans. He stands back up and notices the smirk plastered on Francis' face, something in his eyes he had never seen before.
"Then it was a blur, everything happened so fast. I couldn't stop him." Spencer held back his tears.
"Hey, it's not your fault." Morgan placed a hand on Reid's shoulder. He leaned into the larger man.
"I'm transgender." He says softly. No one says a thing. "It happened before I fully transitioned. Maybe if I told him I was a boy, he wouldn't have... if my dad didn't hate me and enroll me in the school with my dead name..."
"You can't blame yourself for someone else's sick actions." Aaron said firmly. "There will always be 'what if's."
Reid nods, "I guess you're right."
"We will always be here for you if you ever need anything, alright?" Morgan questions.
"Thank you. I love you guys." Reid mumbles, eyes becoming droopy.
"We love you too G-Man." Garcia smiles, as Reid drifts off to sleep.
They've got one hell of a road to recovery ahead of them, but what are families for?
#spencer reid needs help#hurt spencer reid#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid#criminal minds oneshot#hurt and comfort#criminal minds#bau team#i did this instead of sleeping#sorry for this#i hate myself a little more after writing this#trans spencer reid#trans Spencer#trans reid#oneshot#oneshots#fanfiction#fanfic
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RNM 2x05 - I'll Stand By You
So just a little note from me, the person behind the season 2 detailing. I am trying really really hard to keep emotion out of these posts...which is really really hard for me because I'm an inherently emotional person. I'm a glass case of emotion, ready to shatter at any given moment. (#dramatic) But I want to be true to the intent of this blog and keep my feelings, biases, and, you know, shipping out of this blog.
It was really really hard to do with this episode. Because I straight up ugly cried for like, 45 of the 60 minutes. 😂
So I guess, the point is, I'm proud of myself and sticking to the details here. My regular blog is where I'm doing the emotional flip out thing! 😂
EPISODE SUMMARY:
ACCEPTING REALITY — The discovery of some complications with Max’s (Nathan Dean) pod forces Liz (Jeanine Mason), Michael (Michael Vlamis) and Isobel (Lily Cowles) to confront the possibility that they may not be able to save him. Elsewhere, Maria (Heather Hemmens) and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) make amends. Kimberly McCullough directed the episode written by Alanna Bennett & Jason Gavin (#205). Original airdate 4/13/2020.
DETAILS:
Max/Isobel/Michael reunite at age 11 according to what Michael tells Alex in 1x10. So that would make the opening of this episode set in 2002ish.
Michael tells Max and Isobel, "I remember you. I don't know you."
"After nobody adopted me for a year they just stuck me with the name of that trucker who found us."
"I didn't ask you for anything."
This is like the thesis statement of Michael's whole history with Max in the flashbacks.
"Don't pay more than you collect, kid. Passing credit back and forth is a good way to get stuck with somebody forever."
Rosa's art.
What I can see says: "...what they all told me, but I didn't listen" and "Stand the shelter".
Rosa on her dreams
"I have not had any freaky dreams in weeks. Okay, Max is probably off haunting Isobel now that they're strong enough for their psychic twincest weirdness."
"How long has that been happening?"
"Um, I don't know. It's an old boom box."
"Rosa, have electrical appliances been malfunctioning around you?"
"I really thought it was just a side effect of the handprint."
"If being in the pod introduced a new protein into your system it could have altered your DNA too. You could be developing abilities."
"Liz, look. The handprint is changing. It's smaller."
"It's fading."
"Tell me this is a good thing."
"I don't think so."
Michael and Liz theorizing on why the pod shorted out:
"The pod's got a charge. It's like a battery powering the preservation process. This one's gone dead."
"Did the generator blow the electromagnetic threshold?"
"I think a surge came from the pod itself. But that pod has lasted almost a century. It shouldn't glitch out."
"Okay, well, then, this one did."
"All right, stop. It doesn't matter why the pod is broken. It just is. So how long does Max have?"
"My theory is that being tethered to Rosa through the mark is what kept Max from going brain-dead, and in turn the stasis process is what kept the mark from fading. So he could be gone by tonight."
"Okay, well, we have three more pods. So let's just put him into another pod."
"No. He's just gonna do it again. I haven't told you everything. I didn't want to scare you. I didn't want to be the one that took the hope away."
"Talk now, Rosa. Right now."
"I was seeing Max in my nightmares months before I told you about it, and he was begging me to stop you. He said that he was in a lot of pain in there."
"That's Noah's pod. Noah told us it was broken. It wasn't keeping him in stasis. He could feel time passing. None of us thought of that."
"We've been doing everything we can to make Max stronger. He pulled his own plug."
Note...as far as we know Isobel was the only one who knew about Noah's pod being broken. In 1x12 it was before Liz arrived at the house that he told them about the broken pod, so only Max and Isobel heard that part of the story.
Alex on his training. "NSA intelligence cryptology training".
Monitor screen in the secret lab:
Noah's heart is still too weak to transplant. Kyle says it needs at least eight more weeks
"I wrote a paper for a bioethics class on patients in vegetative states who feel pain. Sometimes it's all they feel."
As a non sciencey person, I was wondering if bioethics class was a real thing. Tonight I saw an interview on the news with a UC Berkeley bioethics professor on COVID. So yes, it's a thing.
Alex on Michael that summer post-Rosa's death:
Starting fights with jocks
Broke into the drugstore
Not going to UNM
Hasn't hung out with Max all summer
Got busted for stealing hubcaps (Kyle's hubcaps, we learn later)
Became a walking bar fight
Was in jail when Alex left to enlist
Michael on Max in 2008:
"It's more than that. And it's less than that. We were friends when we were kids, but now Max reminds me of a bunch of stuff that I'd rather forget. The only thing that we have in common anymore is Isobel."
Max's yearbook had a pencil stuck in the page with Liz and Max's photo in it. (The one we first saw in 1x03).
"Biology Club. Max hated science. He was in that club for four years just to watch your sister chew on the end of her pencil."
Max's mindscape:
First just desert, clouds, and then lightning strikes (destructive energy?)
Liz's antennae -- they disappear from Isobel's hands
Rosa describes it as broken
Crashdown special is Max's favorite "Little Green Man milkshake".
The Crashdown counter is kind of merged with biology lab equipment.
The juke box is there
The Crashdown booths
Jeep
Neon Crashdown sign
One of those claw drop game machines (from the Crashdown) but it's filled with baked good displays.
The yearbook
Later, everything else is gone except the one Crashdown booth, the Jeep, and the neon sign.
The distorted music they follow to find Max is the Cactus Groove song in the music list...just, messed around with. See @angsty-nerd's post here:
"I'm the hothead. You are the hero. It's always been that way."
"You stole the hubcaps off Kyle Valenti's graduation present. Both his parents are cops. Do you want to end up in jail tonight?".
👀 Tonight, specifically.
Michael seemed excited about the job at Foster's Ranch until he found out that Max set it up for him. Max found out about it from his dad (only like the 2nd or 3rd mention of his dad in the series so far).
"When I got back in town I asked Max why you and your brilliant mind hadn't changed the world yet. He said you didn't care about the world enough to bother changing it. He believed you could."
Max and Isobel in the mindscape:
"You're okay. I could feel something was wrong with you. Everything felt…"
"Cold. I know."
"You can't be here. It's finally ending. I can feel it. But I don't know what happens if you're in my head when I die."
"So it's true? You want this?"
"I could feel my connection to the outside world getting stronger, so I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. I released a surge. You have to let me go, Iz."
"I can't take it anymore."
"Okay."
"I am so sorry."
"I just want to memorize this."
"Okay. Okay. I need you to tell Liz something."
"You can tell her yourself. She and Kyle are prepping for surgery. They're going to use the faulty heart. She just wants to talk to you before you die."
"No. No."
"You won't be suffering. They're just gonna bring you back and then let you go."
"No you have to stop this. You cannot bring me back under any circumstances."
"Max? What is really going on?"
"I am dangerous. Whatever Liz is bringing back is not me. It's just some broken shell."
Maria on her mom's computer
"Her nurse said that for the two weeks before she went missing, when she wasn't trying to escape, she was talking to someone online."
The 21st birthday flashback
Isobel gets Michael to help move Max after getting drunk on tequila. He passed out in front of the tattoo parlor. It's the same tattoo parlor Michael goes to at the end of the episode.
Max's weird drunken statement.
"The thing is, there has to be there. Okay? There's always three. Until the very end. I'll show you...What it means is you should be here…'cause it's all broken without three. So we'll figure it out. You'll find your way back."
👀 Until the very end. Interesting.
On Max becoming a deputy:
"You know he did the whole police academy thing because of you, right? He thinks you're gonna get into the kind of trouble you can't get out of if you don't know someone."
Back in the mindscape:
"I figured it all out. She, there's an energy to suffering, there's an energy to death, and when I heal people, I absorb that energy. So when I resurrected Rosa, I took in ten years of emptiness. So if you resurrect me, you will be bringing back an infection. Don't want… I don't want to come back as a monster. I don't want to hurt anyone that I care about."
"That's what this is about? We've been hurting, Max. We don't work without you."
"You will! You will. You are stronger now than when I died. All of you are. You, Michael, Liz, you will survive this. The three of you. No, you need to stop them, Iz. Now."
"Okay. I love you."
"You too." Isobel disappears.
Max is using pretty similar wording to his drunken rambles in the 21st birthday flashback
We don't see that Max is chained down until this next exchange with Rosa. Isobel didn't see that detail as far as we know. Didn't hear the chains clanking when they stood and hugged. Only after Isobel left.
"I'm sorry this is happening."
"Isobel is lying. She is buying time. You know she'll never let me go. But you can feel the darkness too, right? That's why you don't like being in my head. Because you know it's real."
"I didn't want that to be true, but yes."
"I know my sister and I know your sister and they'll never give up. So you have to be the one to stop this surgery, okay? Or I will destroy everything that we love. You have to stop them to save them. Now go. Please, Rosa. Go."
Isobel explaining to Liz
"When he saved Rosa he absorbed all of that dark energy. He's gonna have to expel it."
"And he's afraid he's gonna kill someone when he does."
"Yeah. So we just need someone stronger than Max to take that hit...if he thinks he needs to protect us he obviously doesn't know how capable we are. Bring him back, Liz. I'll handle the rest."
"I get it now. It's gotta be the three of us."
"He would never pull his plug to end his own suffering. Unless he thought he was saving us from something. And I'm a little sick of his heroic martyr crap."
In case you missed it, Michael did not know that. At the beginning of the hospital sequence Isobel is telling Liz what she learned in Max's mindscape and says that she hasn't been able to get ahold of Michael. Michael figured it out on his own. He finally "got it".
The pacemaker:
Isobel with Max at the end… everything is gone except the Jeep. And Bright Eyes playing (the song he and Liz danced to on their first date back in 2008). And then his eyes close and Bright Eyes fades away.
“First thing I remember is the three of us. We woke up terrified and lost. But together. And then all of the sudden I was alone. I got real good at being alone. I had given up on people entirely. And then you found me again. Hell of hero move. You showed up just in time. When you are a kid who nobody loves, kindness is a currency. Friendship doesn’t means jack. Family just lies, and hurts, and leaves. I’ve only ever known love to be temporary. So yeah, I push people away. Every time someone threatens to care about me I test their love until they have to leave. Connection is conditional. Everybody eventually gives up on the guy who refuses to be rescued. But you were the only one who I couldn’t run off. You never believed me when I tried to be something I wasn’t. So this thing in your chest, it might give your heart a pretty solid kick every once in a while. Consider it payback. It’s my hero move, Max. If you wake up, you consider us even, okay? If you wake up, we can be a family.”
Good visual parallels during Michael's speech. Alex and Kyle drinking together during the "and then you found me again". Maria walking up on "the guy who refuses to be rescued"
Max is in the coma for three weeks. Wakes up at the secret lab (instead of his house, which is where he was previously. I'm guessing it was a planned wake up because he's no longer plugged into all of the IVs and whatnot.
"I begged you to understand."
"Max, it's gonna be fine."
"No… I told you to let me go. I can feel it inside me."
"It's...it's symmetry, okay? It's just energy for energy. We can deal with that. Fight it, Max. This isn't you."
"I don't want to hurt you. I need to get out. I need to get away from you, from everyone."
"I can't let you do that."
Max shoves Isobel and runs. When he shoves her there's a slight ringing like the sound they use when the aliens use their powers. Isobel follows and stops him with her powers.
"I made a promise that if you came back and you weren't Max, and you were actually going to hurt people that I would kill you. I figure, hey, you got to play God. Make life and death decisions all on your own. Well it's my turn now."
MUSIC:
1. Letters To Cleo "Here and Now"
2. Lady Antebellum "Love Don't Live Here"
3. Cactus Groove "Fallin"
4. James Talley "Big Thunder"
8. Ross Copperman "Stars Are On Your Side"
5. Lindsey Ray "Keep You Safe"
6. Tommee Profitt feat. Sam Tinnesz "With you Til The End"
7. Bright Eyes "First Day Of My Life"
The Cactus Groove song is the first song this season that I haven’t been able to find on Spotify… let me know if any of y’all had any luck with it!
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OK, I want everything 😏but I have to cut it down. So 3. Don't walk out that door for Royai. And/or 81: It's cold you should take my jacket.
ok uhhhh don’t hate me for like 6k words worth of angst lmaoooo enjoy
thank you aoife for this gem i’m glad i could turn it ointo another chapter of this au bc i love it so much uwu
@puppybek - your angst is my command
@jekra - feel free to hate me/call the cops
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
“Pleasedon’t walk out of that door.” // “It’s cold, you should take my jacket.”
“Roy?”Riza asked, her voice small and defeated. He faltered, stopping in front of thedoor of the apartment. He cursed himself internally, eyes closing as he foughtoff the rising tears. It hurt to swallow around the lump in his throat.
Thingshad all been going so well recently. When had it reached this point?
Lookingback Roy couldn’t even pinpoint where it had all gone wrong. It had obviouslyhappened slowly, but he had been oblivious to it. Ignorance is bliss, as theysay, and it had been fucking bliss. Roy had been so happy he’d been turnedblind.
Hadhe all imagined it? The holidays, the date nights, the time they spent togetherintimately… Had Roy thought it was so much more than it was?
Apparently,he had.
“Pleasedon’t walk out that door,” Riza choked out.
That’swhen the anger made itself known.
Here shewas, begging him to stop, when shehad been the one who’d initiated this, not him. She didn’t get to turn theblame on him. No fucking way.
Roywhirled around, eyes shining, only to come face to face with her desolate self.But he was too angry to care. He had given fiveyears, his whole self – heart, body, and soul – to her, and Roy had gottenpaid in dirt.
“I’mgoing home.”
“This is your home,” she stressed.
“Notwith you in it. Not now.”
Ithurt to say. Riza winced as he said it.
Butit was the truth.
“Please–”
“Don’task me to stay,” he spat out. “You’ve made your feelings known. Don’t beselfish.”
“Ionly want to explain –”
“Explainwhat, exactly?” he rounded on her. “That this was all a sham? That you’re nowterrified because this was getting out of hand and now you’ve been caught?” Royran his hands through his hair. He was throwing baseless accusations in her face,but his mind was running a mile a minute after his heart had been crushed underthe heel of Riza’s shoe. He was desperately trying to pinpoint where he’dfailed to notice what was going on, but there was nothing.
They’dbeen happy… Hadn’t they?
“I’mleaving.”
“Roy,wait –”
“No.”
Withoutanother word he closed the apartment door. The slam resonated throughout theentire hallway. Keeping his eyes on the carpet so he wouldn’t see her oldapartment door. It just reminded him of how far they had both come in the lastfive years.
Andit had all been for nought.
Whenwalking down the stairs – his feet landing heavily with every step – he dialledRebecca’s number on his phone.
“Roy!”Rebecca greeted cheerily. “So, how’s the infamous date night going?” Shelaughed. “That bad you needed to call me?” she asked, joking.
“Riza’sin our apartment,” he stated, numb.
“Roy?”
“She– She needs someone right now. Can you go and see her?”
Therewas a pause on the other end of the line before Catalina spoke.
“Whatdid you do?” she asked fiercely.
Roylaughed to himself, but the sound was flat, dead.
“Loveher unconditionally.”
* * *
Rizasat on the couch in Roy’s apartment – it was back to his now, not theirs –completely numb.
It washis because she’d screwed it all up.
Someonebanged on the door loudly. The following creaked stopped the pounding as thedoor swung open. She hadn’t closed the apartment door properly in her daze.
“Riza?”a worried voice called.
Oh, shit. Rebecca.
“Whathappened?” Rebecca asked fiercely, seeing Riza’s current state. She seemed seton the warpath, no doubt to kick Roy’s ass, but he’d done nothing wrong.
He’ddone nothing but love her and look where that had gotten him.
“Riza?”she asked, giving her shoulders a squeeze to try and drag her back to thepresent. “Roy called saying you needed someone right now. What happened?”
Herhead snapped up at that. He had called Rebecca… To come and look after her…
Rizaburst into tears.
* * *
Royslammed down the shot glass on the table miserably.
“Oh,Roy boy,” Chris sighed, as if to say, “whatam I going to do with you?”. “I’m sorry, kid.”
“Soam I,” he replied gruffly. Sorry he had wasted his time.
Chriswordlessly offered him another drink. This was a dangerous game but if hisfoster mother was offering them on the house then he wasn’t going to say no.
“I’velost her, Chris,” he warbled, unable to hold back any longer. “I’ve lost her,and I don’t know how to get her back.”
Chrisvoice was soft, and dread pooled in his stomach because that never happened.
Thisreally was it.
“Thenmaybe you aren’t meant to. Maybe not in this case. Not if she doesn’t want it.”It wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but it wasthe truth. He wouldn’t force her into marriage, into having kids. He wasn’t amonster.
Hewished he could take back that stupid joke about marriage and then thefollowing question asking her opinion on it.
“What would you say if I asked you to marryme right now?” he had grinned, half joking, half truly interested in herresponse.
Insteadhe received a punch in the gut.
Rizahad looked panicked, face stricken. “No,”she had said.
Hishead hit the top of the bar with a dull thud.
* * *
“You…!You!” Rebecca stuttered, her anger boiling underneath her skin. She had everyright to be angry. Riza had hurt one of her closest friends in such a horribleway that whatever onslaught was coming Riza’s way, she would accept itwholeheartedly because it was what she deserved.
“Don’thold back, Rebecca,” Riza interjected, tone monotonous. “You never havebefore.”
“Youare a moron,” she stated, slapping ahand to her forehead. “How could you do thatto him.”
“I’ma bad person,” Riza replied, shrugging her shoulders.
“Don’tyou dare act so nonchalant aboutthis,” Rebecca spat. But Riza couldn’t help it. She had shut down, so lost inher grief, that her emotions were unable to pierce through that gate. Her wholelife she had found it difficult to be open about her emotions. Roy had been –
Herbreath caught in her throat, a shudder running through her entire body as shetook a gasping breath.
Royhad been the one to help with that. His love, laughter, care, and joy hadhelped Riza draw her feelings out from deep within herself. For the first timein a relationship she had truly felt happy with her partner and it was allbecause of Roy. Not only was he her lover, but her best friend, and shecouldn’t picture a future – or a life – without him in it, even now.
Whydid she have to panic? Seize up? Deny him – deny them both – the one thing that would make them both the happiest peopleon the planet?
Shejust thought back to Dan and her previous relationships and how they’d all beentyre fires. She’d been hurt so many times in every case that when Roy offeredher the next step, she turned it down. It was only because it was so huge, she fearedbeing hurt on such a grand scale. Because, in her mind, Roy would hurt her likeevery other relationship she had shared. Her father, her previous boyfriends…They had all hurt her, scarred her. Roy would be no different.
So,when he asked her to marry him, she turned him down because she panicked. She didn’twant to be hurt when she’d already committed herself to him for life. It wouldonly hurt even more. Doing it now was a kindness to herself.
That’swhat Riza told herself.
Coward.Liar. A sham.
Shehad panicked, pure a simple. These were just excuses she was using to try andjustify it.
Becausethat was the thing though, wasn’t it? Roy was nothing like those other men in her life. He had shown her nothingbut love and support, even when they were friends. There was no guarantee he would hurt her. Riza, subconsciously,knew for a fact that he wouldn’t.
Butshe was scared.
Evenafter everything with Dan, he’d been nothing but understanding and concernedfor her welfare. He never pushed her into anything. He offered her shelter inher time of need. Their relationship was just a happy accident – one she hadaccepted wholeheartedly because Roy Mustang was, and always had been, a hugesource of comfort in her life. He was warmth, safety, joy.
Sowhy had she burned that to ash?
“Whatdo you want me to say?” Riza whispered.
“Doyou know just how much he changed foryou?” Rebecca demanded.
Riza’seyes lazily found hers. “I never asked him to –”
“Ohno, I know you never. He was an asshole before he met you. A friend, but anasshole. He slept around, had a really poor attitude towards life and otherpeople, but all that changed when you popped up. It was like he was trying toimpress you. And when I saw it was more than just that, that’s when I knew.”
“Rebecca–” Riza whispered, desperate for her to stop. Tears were already falling freelydown her face.
“Iknew the minute he met you that heliked you. Watching that grow into love was a wonderful thing, because I knewit was genuine. He would always get so broken up when you were with other men.I told him time and time again to ask you out, but do you know what he toldme?”
Rizashook her head, face crumpling as her head bowed, shoulder hunching, backrounding as she gasped for breath. Her body was curling in on itself, a naturalreaction to the pain throbbing in her chest. “Rebecca, please.”
“Hetold me he didn’t think he was good enough for you.” The following silenceallowed those words to ring in Riza’s head painfully. She gasped as she sobbed,but Rebecca didn’t let up, even when her own voice wobbled. “He told me hedidn’t want to fuck up what you both shared already because you meant so muchto him.”
“Stop–”
“WhenDan showed up Roy knew there was something fishy about him. He found out aboutsome of the weird behaviour and I watched him almost worry himself into anearly grave as he paced in Havoc’s and I’s living room, waiting for a replyfrom you to say you were home, safe.
“Henever said anything because he didn’t want you to think he was jealous – heabsolutely was – and was out to ruin your relationships. He respected you andyour choice. He was your best friend, Riza,” Rebecca finally finished,reminding her painfully.
“Please.”
“Youdon’t get to ask me to stop,” Rebecca whispered, her own voice thick withemotion. “Because you’ve hurt that poor man. He gave you everything. And at the first sign of moving forward you back out.”
“Rebecca,stop!” she cried, her sobs fillingthe apartment. They wracked her body harshly, her form shaking uncontrollably.
“No.”Riza’s eyes popped open, coming face to face with her knees.
No more, please.
Butit was what she deserved.
“Iknow,” Riza sniffed. “I deserve all of this. But please, don’t. I already… I…”
“I know,”she murmured but offered her no further comfort.
“I –I don’t know why you’re still here.”
“Becauseyou’re my friend.” A pair of arms circled around Riza and she whimpered, unableto stop herself from leaning into Rebecca’s comfort. “You’re my friend, I loveyou, but Roy is my friend too.”
“Iknow,” Riza whispered.
“I don’tapprove of what you did, and I’m quite angry about it, however everyone needssomebody. I won’t abandon you, especially when I can see how broken up youare.”
“I’velost him,” she sobbed.
“So, what the fuck are you doing sittinghere?”
“I… Ican’t –”
“You can,” Rebecca stressed, giving her shouldersa squeeze. “You love that man and you’ve been with him for over five years. Youmost certainly can because you owe him that much.”
Riza buriedher face in one of her hands as best she could, her limbs partially trapped byRebecca’s embrace.
She wasa fucking coward. No wonder she’d never had a successful relationship before –disregarding the fact that she sure knew how to pick all the weirdos. She was ascared child masquerading as a woman.
Achild who was so scared of getting hurt she pushed away everyone who ever gotclose to her because she “knew” they would leave or hurt her eventually. It wasa defence mechanism, nothing more.
Whydid she have to be like that?
Roydidn’t deserve that.
* * *
“Whereis he?” a quiet voice pleased in the room behind him.
Hefroze in his chair, eyes stuck on the amber liquid in his shot glass. Slightlyterrified, he lifted his eyes to his aunt, whose eyes were on the door. Herexpression was sour as she sucked on her teeth in disapproval. Without a wordshe rounded the bar and approached Vanessa.
“Sorry,”Vanessa replied coolly. “But –”
“I’lltake it from here, Vanessa,” his aunt stated.
“Ofcourse, Madame.”
Royheard nothing more for a while, but Vanessa squeezed his shoulder and offeredhim a small smile as she walked through the back of the bar.
“Riza,”Chris greeted. Her tone could match the temperature of ice.
“Whereis he?” Riza repeated. “I need to –”
“Youdon’t need to do anything,” Chrisreplied. “I think you’ve done enough.”
Royclosed his eyes. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. He wanted to beleft alone. However, if he dealt withthis conversation now, it would be over with, and he could continue to wallowin his grief in peace.
“Chris.”He announced his presence quietly, but it was enough. He almost gasped when hesaw the state of Riza. Her hair was sticking up haphazardly in place and lookedwet. She was shivering, wearing nothing but the t-shirt and jeans she had beenwearing when Roy left her. Had she walked all the way here like that?
His suspicionswere cleared when he saw a car parked outside the door, Rebecca looking upontheir conversation from within. She nodded at Roy once before indicating topull away onto the street. It was against the law to park right outside the door,so she had to drive away to find somewhere to park while she waited.
“Whatdo you want?” he asked, hollow, once Chris had left them to enter the backroom. Roy escorted Riza into the empty bar front.
“I’msorry.” The sound of her voice matched his. He offered her nothing, simplywaiting for her to say her piece and then go. “Can… Can you say something?” shebegged to his silence. “Please?”
“Whatmore do you want from me, Riza?” Roy asked tiredly. “Please, tell me, becauseI’m struggling here. I gave you everything, and you want nothing more.”
“Iknow you did,” she sniffed, wiping away a tear. “I don’t want anything else. I–”
“Wellthen, why are you here?” he asked,his frustration finally showing. He had misunderstood her, but Roy was unawareof it. He never even gave her a chance to correct herself, but then again, Rizanever tried to amend herself. “Haven’t you don’t enough already? Your feelingswere made clear. Why drag this out for longer than necessary?”
Silencefilled the bar. The door to the back room opened slowly and Chris stood in thedoorway, a reminder that Riza better not toy with his emotions anymore, andcertainly not in here.
“That’sfine,” she whispered, defeated. There was a certainty to her tone that Royreally didn’t want to hear, but there was no future for them now. Not after shedeclined his offer of marriage. He wanted it, he wanted to start a family, butRiza didn’t.
AndRoy didn’t want to do it with anyone else. He wanted to do it with her.
Thatimage of the house in the suburbs, the picket fence, the children and dogsrunning around the garden shattered like his heart, the dust of both theirremains settling uncomfortably in his stomach.
Itwas time they split.
Fiveyears wasted. Just like that.
Royclosed his eyes briefly as a tear escaped.
“I’llgo,” she whispered.
Itwas like a dagger in his chest.
“Yes,I think you should.”
Whenthe door opened, he noticed the relentless pounding of the rain. He would havelaughed if he wasn’t so upset at the appropriate weather for tonight. He alsonoticed that Riza was stepping outside into the winter wind howling outsidewearing nothing but a t-shirt.
“Riza,”he called back, cursing himself. Because despite her not wanting to be withhim, Roy still loved her with his whole heart and would hate to see her suffering.“It’s cold outside,” he muttered. He lifted his jacket off the peg by the door,handing it to her with sad eyes. “You should take my jacket.”
Hisaunt sniffed in disapproval behind him. Riza’s eyes flicked over at the sound,face stricken when she saw the look on his adoptive mother’s face, which Roydidn’t doubt looked like the thunder raging above them outside.
“Thankyou,” she whispered. He draped it over her shoulders, telling himself this wasthe last thing he would do for her.
Butwhat was the point in lying to himself?
He’dgive her the moon, still, if she asked for it.
“Thatwill fade with time,” Chris told him once he took up his place at the baragain.
“Iwouldn’t be so sure,” he smiled sadly. Before it could wobble and fall off hisface, Roy lifted his glass and took another shot, the burn replacing the one inhis chest.
* * *
Shehad tried.
Rizahad tried to explain herself, and rightly so, Roy turned her down. He didn’twant to get hurt again.
Oh,Riza knew all about that.
Thatwas what this whole dumb situation she had created was based on, wasn’t it?
Rebeccadropped her off then returned home after Riza convinced her she would be fine.
ButRiza would never be fine again.
Inher fear of getting hurt she had harmed the one person she had ever been inlove with. The one person she never wanted to.
Thewalls closed in on her, suffocating her.
Shecouldn’t stay here anymore. She needed out. This was where it had all happened.The first time they slept together, their mornings spent quietly enjoyingbreakfast and reading the paper, their evenings spent curled on the couch ineach other’s arms, watching television.
Apain tore through her chest. It was so painful she doubled over, gasping astears fell down her face. This was Roy’s apartment. She didn’t need to tainthis life anymore than she already had.
Rizadidn’t deserve Roy Mustang, and she supposed she never had.
Sheclosed the apartment door, locked it, and fled the building.
* * *
“CanI talk to Riza?” Roy asked tiredly. He hadn’t slept at all the night before. Orthe night before that. He knew Riza probably wouldn’t have wanted to stay inhis apartment any longer, and Catalina drove her home the night before, so Royknew she must be at Catalina’s apartment instead.
Havocand Catalina shared a look. “We… We don’t know where she is.”
Confused,Roy squinted up at them both, seeing the worry on their faces. “What do youmean, you don’t know?”
“Roy,she’s not picking up her phone. We’ve tried the apartment. The door’s lockedand there’s no answer.”
“What?”His head pounded, matching the raging beat of his heart. “Wh – What?” herepeated.
Catalinalet her true emotions show for the first time since Roy showed up at her door.She looked worried. Really worried.Dread pooled in her stomach, clenching it tightly. He fought off the urge tovomit.
“We’vebeen searching, all day yesterday and all morning,” Catalina replied, herdesperation shining through. “Roy, I don’t know what to do. She’s nowhere to befound.” Havoc wrapped an arm around her shoulders in comfort.
“Whydidn’t you tell me?” he asked, outraged.
“Wephoned the bar, but your Aunt declined to comment.”
Royfelt anger flash through him. He understood Chris was looking out for him, butthis was serious. Then again, she might not have known Riza was missing.
Royalmost choked as he thought of the word.
“We’vetried everywhere,” Havoc cut in, sensing his wife was unable to carry on anylonger. “Hughes’, her work, your aunt’s house, everywhere. The boys helped too– Breda and Falman searched the city but came up with nothing. Fuery looked inpublic buildings like the library and the museum, but nothing. Do you… Do youknow anywhere she might go?”
No,he didn’t. Shy of where Havoc had already mentioned, their home, the Hughes’,and Catalina’s, Roy wasn’t sure where else she would flee to in a moment likethis.
Therewas one place…
Itwas a long shot, but maybe, just maybe…
“There’sone place,” he began slowly, wondering is he should let them know. It had beentold to him in confidence and it had been such a sacred moment to Riza, hedidn’t know if her best friends already knew about it.
East,in her hometown. She might be there. Riza did say the old house was stillstanding and she held the deed to it but hadn’t been able to return there afterher father died. Her mother’s grave was out there, and Roy remembered Rizatelling him how she would seek out the grave to talk to her mother when thingsbecame too much with her father in the house.
Maybe…
“Outeast,” Roy stated, gauging their reactions. Understanding dawned on them andboth shared a look. They had an inkling of what he was talking about, which wasgood. He wouldn’t have to explain it all.
Especiallywhen there was already no time.
* * *
Rizashivered on the cold ground, the winter wind whipping around her body as shesat on the stone path before her mother’s grave. This was the second day shehad spent here. There was something comforting about being in a graveyard whenshe had turned her world to hell.
Thehotel in town was cheap and would do until she could find a place of her own. Atleast out here no one would find her. An exiling of her own choice. Well, Roymight, if he remembered. Riza hoped he wouldn’t but hoped he would at the sametime.
She’dspent all day yesterday sitting here just talking to her mother. There was acomfort in it, Riza thought. One of the people who’d meant the most to Rizabrought her comfort in her time of need. It was a shame that she was no longer inthe land of the living and the only person she wanted to comfort her no longer wantedanything to do with her.
Roy’sjacket brought her some warmth, but every time she shifted his scent shrouded her,bringing forth a fresh seat of tears. By this point she should be fresh out,but sure enough, they fell as she begun to speak.
“I’velost him, Mum,” Riza whispered to the cold stone. “I did it. I told him I didn’twant to marry him, but I do, I reallydo. I’m just so scared because everyone in life has left me. My brain isconvinced this will be no different. I panicked.”
“Oh, Riza…”
Herback stiffened as Roy whispered her name from behind her.
No.
Anyone but him.
Shestood silently, resigned to the upcoming conversation. The world was silentaround them, save for the howling winter wind. She shivered. May as well get itover and done with.
Because she only wanted him.
“Riza,”Roy breathed, gathering her in his arms tightly. Riza froze, blinking insurprise. What? He kissed the top ofher head and Riza simply stood there, stunned. “You’re all right.” He adjustedher grip, hugging her against him even tighter. “Here, take my jacket, you’re freezing.”
Stillin shock, Riza simply stood as Roy wrapped her in his jacket like a doll. Ofcourse, that left him in just a hoodie. Instantly she was surrounded in more ofhis scent and warmth which kicked her brain into gear. Before she could react,she was pulled into his embrace once more. Riza felt the tears well in hereyes.
“Ithought we’d lost you,” he whispered.
You already did, thanks to me.
Shepulled away and Roy looked surprised, his outstretched arms falling limp at hissides. His face questioned her, silently asking her why?
“Whyare you here?” she asked, voice holding that same monotonous quality since thelast time he’d seen her.
“Riza…You went missing. What were youthinking?” he asked, his frustration creeping into his tone.
Good. Anger is good. You can workwith that.
“I’msurprised anyone cared.”
Roy’seyes flashed but Riza missed it, unable to meet them.
“Whatare you doing, Riza? Are you insane?”
“I’m trying to get on with my life. You madeit clear you wanted us to.”
“Notby disappearing off the face of the earth with no explanation, no note to saywhere you’ve gone,” he replied angrily. “I get it if you don’t want me to know,but Catalina? Havoc? Hughes? Do theynot deserve to know?” he spat, angry that she had worried their friends so.“They had nothing to do with this, so cut the shit.”
“Don’tgive me that,” she fired back. “You made perfectly clear you wanted to move onso I came out here to give you that chance.”
“Bystaying in a cheap hotel? With no cash? No clothes? No concern for those you left behind?” he snarled.
Hewas right to be angry about that. Her fight or flight response had kicked in.She fought when she went to his aunt’s place to see him. She fought to try andexplain herself, but that had failed. She was a failure who couldn’t even keepone person close to her. Catalina, Havoc, and the rest were her friends, ofcourse they were, but there was always the element of keeping them at arm’slength. Just in case.
Herflight response kicked in when she arrived back in their – Roy’s – apartment. She had to escape and get away. Mostly to tryand escape the pain, but also because she knewshe had fucked up big time and wanted to flee from the responsibility ofdealing with it. Growing up had been lonely so she’d never had to deal withconflict, had never learned of a healthy way to deal with it. Disappearing offthe face of the Earth seemed like a good idea because then no one back homewould have to deal with her and her shit anymore.
“Theonly reason I wanted to get on withmy life,” Roy shouted. “Was because youturned me down, Riza, not the otherway around. Don’t you fucking daretry to blame this on me!”
“Ionly did it because I know you’re the same as all of them,” she spat, beingincredibly unfair. She just needed him to leave.He deserved better than anything Riza could give him. She was protecting him,she told herself.
“Andhow is that?”
“Becauseyou will just leave like the rest of them.” Her voice was as cold as herexpression.
Shewatched as he barked a laugh of disbelief, feeling doubt creep into her mind.
“Doyou honestly think I would do that toyou?” He laughed again, but there was nothing funny. He raked a hand throughhis hair. “I fucking asked you to marry me, Riza,” he hissed. “Why would Ileave you after doing that?”
“Becauseeveryone else has!” she yelled back, finally letting out all her fears. “Everysingle person in my life has turned against me and I’m just waiting for therest of you to do the same,” she raged, the tears falling thick and fast now. Thiswas revealing too much. Too much to Roy, and too much to herself. She didn’twant to admit it because if she did, she might crack. “I’m so unable to be loved by anyonethat it was only a matter of time before it happened. Every day,” she chokedout. “Every day I live with the fear that something will go wrong. I’ve beencomplacent recently, but it’s still there. I’m trying to protect you –”
“By pushingme away like this?” he interrupted,unable to believe what he was hearing. Riza knew it would sound ridiculous butthat was only because they didn’t understand. None of them did.
“Yes!” She was breathing heavily, theyboth were, too angry to continue their conversation. Riza begun to storm offbut was stopped by a hand on her wrist.
“Whatdo you think –?”
Shewas crushed in Roy’s arms.
Rizafought him, pushing and hitting his chest to get out of his hold, but shecouldn’t do it well enough. Her arms were trapped in between their bodies soshe could barely move. Her tears continued to fall as she snarled at him, buteventually that anger just turned to sobs. They were loud, so loud. It filled the air in the cemetery as Riza finally let goof all the emotions she had pent up her whole life. She wailed as she clung tothe only man who had loved her. Her body crumpled, knees buckling, but Roy heldher up. He loved her enough to seek her out when he thought she was missingdespite the fact she’d turned down his marriage proposal. She’d hurt himunimaginably and he still worried and looked for her. Still fought for them even though Riza had turned theminto a lost cause.
“I –I panicked,” she sobbed, body shaking against him. The wind threatened to stealher words, but Roy pulled her tighter against him. “I panicked because no onehas ever loved me like you have. Everyone has left me. My mother, my father,even my grandfather twenty years ago. All gone.
“ThenDan did – he did that. And all theothers before lost interest,” she whispered, the last sentence finallyshattering her heart as she admitted to herself how she really felt.
Thewind was the only sound in the cemetery as Roy held her and Riza cried.
“I love you,” he replied fiercely. Hisvoice wobbled and Riza felt his tears hit the top of her head. “Rebecca loves you. Havoc loves you. The whole Hughes family, the boys, they all do, Riza.” She cried harder. “Don’tpush us away. You don’t think you’re good enough for me, but you are the best person for me.” She sniffled,shaking her head in disagreement. Her face rubbed against his chest and shecringed when she thought she’d probably gotten snot all over it.
Whata nice parting gift.
“BeforeI met you,” Roy began, dropping all the anger from his voice. “I was anasshole. I didn’t treat those around me as well as I should have. Chris waspissed because she didn’t raise such a disrespectful person, and she was right,she didn’t, but for some reason I couldn’t be bothered by it. After my parents diedeverything didn’t mean much anymore.
“Thenyou came in.” Riza closed her eyes tightly, trying to calm herself down but itwasn’t working. So, she clung to him as he spun his tale. “They died about sixmonths before I met you. Those six months were awful, then I met you and webecame friends very quickly. I saw you and thought “wow, she is really beautiful”. But there was no way you would datesomeone like me,” he chuckled. “I was like a frat boy trapped in an grown assman’s body but when I spent time with you I didn’t want to be that personanymore, so I bucked up my ideas and strived to be better, just in case therewas a chance. I never dreamed there would be,” he chuckled.
“Otherguys came and went, and I was happy for you. I wasn’t happy when they broke upwith you, but there wasn’t much I could do. It hurt like hell to watch you sufferthrough every break up but I kept my distance.”
Buthe hadn’t though. Riza remembered now, thinking back. After every single break up, Roy had beenthere first to comfort her. He’d sat as sometimes she cried – holding her tight– and he’d laughed with her as she said good riddance, raising a toast with herand the rest of their friends.
He’dnever left.
Roychuckled to himself. “Remember Steve?” Riza nodded, mute. She held her breathin anticipation for what he was going to say. “I saw red when Rebecca told mewhat had happened.” He had hit Riza. Just the once. They’d been dating forabout eight months and there had been no other incident of abuse. He’d beenreally drunk, and they’d been arguing. “The next thing I knew I was at his doorready to beat him to a bloody pulp.”
“Why?”was all she asked.
“BecauseI’ve loved you for years, Riza, and have been in love with you for about the same amount of time. You deservedthe world, but you never got it. So, I vowed to better myself in case my timecame so I could give it to you. Doing it as a friend wasn’t enough – I wantedto do more – but if that was all I could get, that’s what I would take.”
Newtears fell, her quiet sobs all she could hear.
“Letit all out, Riza. I’ve got you and I’m not going anywhere. I get your scared,but I swear on my life that I’m not goingto leave you. Unless, of course, you ask me to.” Barely a second later sheshook her head vigorously. “All right then.” Riza felt his chest deflate underher head and her hands as he quietly let out a sigh of relief. “Just… let itall out. Let go. I’ve got you.”
Andso, she did.
Roynever left or pushed here away, just like he said.
“Hey,I found her.”
Rizasat numb in his car as he called their friends.
“She’s…She needs some time, and some space.” Even Riza didn’t know how to answer thatquestion, yet Roy articulated it correctly. He always could tell how she wasfeeling. “I’m going to take her home.”
Oncehome Riza felt herself stiffen as they approached their apartment door.
“Here,sit down.” Roy ushered her onto the couch. She followed his order, feelingashamed of herself and her actions, and embarrassed. “I’ll get you a glass ofwater.”
Itappeared in front of her and Riza stared as the air bubbles popped on thesurface, unable to bring herself from reaching forward and quench her thirst.
Onthis very couch was where she had lied and turned down his proposal.
Roywrapped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her body close to his as they laythere in silence. Riza placed a hand under her head, fingers splaying acrosshis chest.
“I’mso sorry,” she whispered.
“Riza,it’s okay.” His hand rubbed up and down her upper arm before finally settlingon her shoulder to give it a squeeze. “You don’t need to –”
He wasstill making excuses for her.
“No,”she whispered. “I do. I’m so sorry.You deserve more.”
“Ideserve you,” he countered. “If you will let me.”
“Ishouldn’t,” she whispered. “I hurt you.”
“Becauseyou were scared. You lashed out. Now I finally understand – and knowing yourpast – I can see how you came to that conclusion. Everyone you’ve gotten closeto in life has hurt you, except your current friends. I understand your apprehension.”
“I shouldn’thave. I should’ve been smarter about it –”
“Riza,”Roy stated, suddenly sounding very exhausted. “We could be at this all day. Iforgive you, okay?” She froze. “I really do. I just want you to be happy. Iwant to make you happy. I’m fine withputting this behind us because I don’t want to upset you even more. Iunderstand why you did what you did, and I will make it my life’s mission toprevent it from happening again.”
“Butit wasn’t your fault though, it was mine,” she whispered fearfully.
“Iknow,” he nodded. “But the point still stands. I aim to make sure you neverfeel like this again. Ever. I promise that to you.”
Whatdid she ever do to deserve him?
Anothertear escaped her but, like Roy, she was tired of all this.
“Getsome rest,” Roy murmured, kissing the top of her head and shifting on the couchto find a more comfortable position. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
Rizanodded and buried her face into him, closing her eyes to finally rest.
* * *
Butterfliesfluttered in Riza’s stomach as she walked. Too many people were looking at her.She’d never been one to appreciate or want all the attention in the roomfocussed on her. When she told Rebecca, her friend had scoffed.
“Well,get used to it,” she’d stated, fluffing up Riza’s hair at the back so it satnicer. “It’s your wedding day and you look stunning.People are going to stare.”
However,her eyes focussed on the back of Roy’s head as she and Havoc walked down theaisle and a calm washed over her. Once at the front of the procession –Rebecca, Gracia Hughes, and little Elicia watching her with smiles on theirfaces, the two former bridesmaids with tears in their eyes – Havoc kissed her cheekand took up his place at Roy’s right as one of the groomsmen.
Royturned to face her eagerly, a silly grin on his face. Riza matched his smile astheir hands entwined. He was unable to take his eyes off her and Riza felt thesame way. He was incredibly handsome in his suit with his hair slicked back. A fewstray strands had fallen forward over his forehead and she itched to brush themaway.
Theman before them begun to welcome the party to the wedding but Riza never hearda word.
Roygave her the brightest smile and gave her hand a squeeze. His expressionsilently asked her one thing.
Ready?
Rizanodded, resisting the urge to lean over and kiss him then because it wouldn’t beproper in the ceremony. The next best thing was a nod and quick squeeze of hishand.
Of course.
#royai#royai fic#royai fanfic#hold my hand#emma writes#ask#waddiwasiwitch#fic request#writing prompts
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9:55am August 2, 2021
Woke up awhile ago Lil' Dee was acreaming and hollering
Last night's [DREAM]
⚡Met this person named Thunderstorm and their friend. They said its cool how social I am. We hung and in an apartment I didn't recognize.
🍟 Ari was there and wanted to take us to get some food. I didnt go because I think I was tired.
🍑THOUGHTS: The rest is a blur, shouldve written it down as soon as I woke up. I think it would be cool to meet someone named Thunderstorm. Thats so badasss
DREAM 8/6/2021
🌻High emotion argument with mom
🥩Threatened to hurt someone at party
✴Twins being shot at
❌Slavery??? Or some kind of discrimination??? Very confusing
8/7/2021 12:14pm
There are times when it gets very late and as i'm laying in bed i start thinling about death. aboit no matter how hard I try, I never be able to avoid it. I think the thing that scares me the most is that I won't know HOW I'll die or WHEN. Watching Death Note doesn't hope haha. Being a conscious being is a blessing and a curse.
DREAM 🎇🌆🥂🌹🌻🥀🍂
This was such a good dream, I woke up crying. I was surrounded by beautiful things. Music, art, bright colors, amazing people. I was with Audrie I believe. There were people both familiar and unfamiliar. We rode in a fast car. People partying and cheering, colors everywhere. Bunch of faces I didnt recognize. Prince's symbol was everywhere. Audrie cried on my old home. Wonderful things everywhere.
Bryson is wonderful
1518 worthington street columbus ohio 43201 (salem's house)
Words for Lanchlen, words that probably won't be said:
"Hey so, what you said last night about how being nervous stops you from knowing what the other person is thinking really made sense to me and the fact that being nervous is selfish in some cases, i want to start saying whats on my mind. Even our short conversation about rejection made sense to me too, since the main reason i dont say whats on my mind is because of that. The point being, what i want to say is, the way you carry yourself and the way you make me feel comfortable really attracts me to you. Your way of going about/looking at life really intrigues me as well. Its really nice listening to you talk about your dreams and goals, and just seeing how passionate you are. I thought id let you know how i see you. When i got crossed i just started thinking about all of this and more and knew i HAD to say at least something."
This is an OLD paragraph I wrote and was gonna send to Lanchlen, but never did. I think I wrote this the night of Lanchlens performance? I don't remember. No, it was a couple nights before then i believe
You spin me right around
‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING AMONG US REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 AMONG US IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 RED IS SO SUSSSSS 🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 COME TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ME SCAN 🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥 🏥🏥🏥🏥 WHY IS NO ONE FIXING O2 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡 OH YOUR CREWMATE? NAME EVERY TASK 🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠 Where Any sus!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any sus!❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any sus❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ I think it was purple!👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀It wasnt me I was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
(^^^ salem randomly sent that in the chat)
8/27/2021
Crossed af, Ari talking his ex and im hiiugh i keep drinking, my back feels weird. aRi is talking aboutbhow soneone has 14 kids at his job
Ari is trying on everyones glasses
"Play or get shot in the head"
"What do i look being a mortal on mount olympus?" -Joules
Wren' friend called me beautiful
Jas and Maria arived 11:34pm
Spin the bottle !! I kissed salem and estilins friend
Wren is dancing
Me and Salem slapped each other in the face, i believe i won
Salem is about to pass out on the toilet 2:35am i gotta shit but im too lazy to go downstairs to doms bathroom
8/28/2021
Really high. Went to Caels/Michaels wine night
Joules is performing at Bossy Girls!!
Chillin at her place before though w Denver, Kimba, and Frankie :]
Lanchlen wants me to watch Cruella and The Owl House
The Brown Bag--> sandwich shop Lanchlen wants me to see
1607 north 4th St (joules and denvers)
09/07/2021
Lanchlen called and we both really high. He reminds me a bit of myself when he's high lol. I didnt think he would be like that? I dont know why? Lanchlen is sitting by a lake, they feel like theyre in a Dead or Alive music video bc of thw outfit theyre wearing. I miss them.
DREAM 9/15/2021👁👁🖤
Had a dream there was a a tornado in my backyard (at home). At first i was happy to see it, thought it was just some small disaster and for sone reason that made me happy. Then i looked up and saw that it was this giant swirling tornado.
9/16/2021
Really high at Salems place, Sage let me and Frankie hit their dab
Sage and Salem is talking about some crazy girl
"im the best at recreating pictures guys" -Salem
Its so obvious that Sage is high
Had an anime covno w Danny and Frankie (salem and sage were laughing at us)
Just read a fanfiction with the group
Listening to Minecraft music
1:52 am just got back home. Made some macaroni and the microwave sounded like a high school marching band. Ginger Ale tastes so fucking good
A guy cat called me and Frankie in the dumbest way "ooooo i like chocolate"
2:39 am "444, 222, coochie coochie coo"
Michelle and Jas
9/20/2021 4:36pm
"I love all your colors hun, good luck with alk the movies youre making" -a man ive never met before
DREAM 🍺😴
-I was drunk walking aeounf in a neighborhood at like 1 am.
-I was trying to find an address like 43420 or something
-I ended up at house party, i knew the people. Juniper was upstairs talking to some crying chick. I really had to pee
- I also wanted to leave bc i wanted to go to sleep.
- The bathroom where Juniper and the chick were was messy so i went to houses basement (it was my grandma Gails basement??) and there were two cats who walked weird
Thats the last thing that happened before I woke up
9/25/2021:
Lanchlen sees periods as magical
Jas said my laugh feels good
9/30/2021
Frankies depression meal used to be half a loaf of bread w salted butter w 2 bags of popcorn. Or just waffle cones.
🌺🌆🌠 "I feel like I'm far away from you when I set the phone down..." -Lanchlen
Got high at Dannys
Talked to Ari while taking a huge shit
Pouring rain when me and frankie have to leave
This lyft feels like spaceship
10/07/2021
Got really high at work w Xavier out back
A vampire came into the store
REALLY HIGH
Under water 🌊
The way i perceive ppl shifts in such a weord way im high
Mindless Self Indulgence is weird to listen to when high
"Allow yourself to live in it" instagram ad
Xavier reminds me of Lanchlen A LOT. Just the way he talks (especially while im high) and hes enthusiastic about stuff like how Lanchlen is. Its gotta be a Scorpio thing (Xavier is also a Scorpio !!!)
Popping my finger w a rubber band feels nice when high
Jaylin looks like a Cowboy Bebop character
Xaivers grandpa (passed away) used to call him bananna head. So when he saw that my snap username said bananhead288 it made him feel really good. Its amazing how the little things can connect us
Juniper put macaroni in milk.....heathen
At mich and jas house::::::
Me and Frankie are HIGHHH
What if Fransico was trans? FULL ON PUSSY, just a thought
Dream 10/15/2021 ⚰🗡👁☄
Me and Frankie are fetisherizers
Mich looks like a deer (pointing)
Playing games !!
Fransico:"yall leaving?"
Frankie: " ABSOLUTELY NOT"
Me and Mich played slap hands and they hit good!!! I raised the tattoo on their hand 😎
Im chewing a chop stick
Sia and Fransico acted out sex positions
I danced w Jimari 💕💃🏻
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Hello mizu! Its okay if you're too busy/don't want to do it but could you do the more detailed character ask for flanel and randel? Curious anon here, have a good day!
hey there anon, hoping you’re having a good day too ( ᐛ )و - are you talking about this ask??? i’m not sure what you’re talking about but bless these kinds of tumblr blogs, here u go
btw the likes/dislikes are in reference to my interpretations for them, the fav/least fav moment are in reference in-game since y’know… these guys don’t exactly have ‘moments’ minus… idk, whoever the devs decide to feature in the updates (゜▽゜;)
flamel (… flanel lol i thought u were referring to another chara)
what i like about them: perfectly self-aware of himself: knows what his strengths + capabilities are and also his weaknesses + flaws, along with his morals + ideals + character. nope, any form of psychological bullshit won’t work on him. he’s absolutely aware of what he’s capable of doing and he’s not in denial about his shortcomings at all… what he does with that knowledge and what he plans to do about it is more of the question.
what i dislike about them: while flamel has a condescending air about him, he actually does not look down on people and he acknowledges others’ capabilities + character, even if they’re better than his own. that’s the problem: he knows or at least he has a general idea of a person’s capabilities + character, and what he dislikes the most is if it is not put to good use. without mercy, he can really say stinging observations about one’s failures and fears straight to their faces - the worst part is? it hurts, bc it’s true. he’s insensitive, but you can’t exactly deny his words either.
favorite moment: when i get his card lol bc i really like his card art??? not the mvp + biochemist one, the regular one - like… daMN??? i dig, he probably has the best regular card among the bio mobs imo
least favorite moment: ??? have u fought this fucker in-game??? no??? lucky u then, cecil’s still the queen bitch but mAN is flamel also a pain to fight, the last time i played ended up with my party dying partially bc of him and his clones
a situation with this character that i want to see explored more: not exactly a situation but his backstory??? or okay, something with his family - i know he’s nicholas flamel’s son but what about his mom? or what if: his parents announce that he’s about to have a sibling like??? what, i’m like around my 20s already then u tell me i’m gonna be an older bro i am questioning ur nightly activities??? cue a much needed slap from his mom lol
an interesting au for this character: lol i’d probably like to see flamel in a soulmate au where he feels the same emotions his partner does like wow he’s really irritated at it at first bc really why is this person so damned emotional / feel so much but eventually he’s able to compartmentalize his partner’s emotions from his own and he also takes note of the emotions his partner experiences in a journal daily, complete with time frames/lines??? that’s sort of sweet??? it also becomes a habit for him to look at the journal at the end of the day and think of reasons why his partner may have felt this way at each of the recorded times??? what’s funny tho is that despite the fact that he’s been taking note of his partner’s emotions for so long (probably middle school up to college?), he’s never gotten the urge to discover who his soulmate is, or to try find said person. sorry soulmate, you’re the one who’s gonna take initiative.
a crossover: top of my head, probably a fullmetal alchemist one lol - he’s probably some big shot alchemist then surprise surprise, one of his transmutation attempts fucked up him up pretty badly leading him to the gate of truth. he wakes up feeling ‘empty’ only to figure out that somehow his parts of him have taken the form of homonculi… and not just any kind of homonculi - they introduce themselves as a part of him, the sins in him that has made him the man he was today. they even call him father and take different human forms (lol, aka they take the form of his floormates, take a pick who represents each sin) - the revelation is in his travels tho while he’s trying to get to the homonculi, is that flamel himself embodies a sin, the seventh sin that completes all of them (try guessing what, lol). ooooh, this could probably be good if i actually fix this but yeah, there u go, it goes somewhere along those lines.
otp: none, actually.
other ships: kathryne // trentini
brotp: randel // alphoccio
notp: lady tanee hahAHAHA jk no seriously idk just ignore my first entry pls it was supposed to be a joke… maybe…
assortment of headcanons
surprise bitch, he’s the best chef in the biolabs but he ain’t gonna cook for anybody but himself - the only time he isn’t hung up on precise measurements + time is when he’s cooking
has a pair of reading glasses, uses them often and keeps them stored away neatly in his desk complete with a wipe - he always makes sure there’s adequate lighting + his reading glasses are present when he reads stuff, he sure cares for his eyes a lot
he… surprisingly follows a lot of good health practices - he always takes 15 - 20 min break if he’s been doing something for a straight hour (patrol + battles are exempted), drinks 8 glasses of water daily, sleeps early, etc.
his hands are always gloved - takes ‘em off only when he’s about to sleep. his right hand is pristine but his left hand has a strangely shaped burn mark that runs diagonally across his palm - it looks old.
he looks prim and proper but honestly his room is nuts - what’s more confusing is that he isn’t bothered by his room’s state at all + he knows exactly where his stuff is when he needs it, like… dude… how do u even know where to find ur shit in a warzone called ur room, teach me ur ways master
randel (oooh this is new)
what i like about them: he’s a very resolute yet flexible person: definitely not the type of person who’d go second-guessing on his decisions or would waver in times of crisis, but he’s not also the person who’d insist on pushing on with the initial goal/objective when difficulties or contradictions arise - he takes in the present situation + other factors & encountered facts and weighs them against the supposed goal/objective. from there he determines what he thinks would be the best course of action to take, and it takes him only a short time to do so even under pressure.
what i dislike about them: true to his class, he’s too self-sacrificing??? which is like… dude c’mon it’s probably an honor for the crusader line to die in the act of protecting others but still if u die, who’s going to protect those who can’t protect themselves? like yeah, he understands that too but he’s more inclined to believe that it’s better for him to be left behind/sacrificed/die in exchange for the lives of the majority. well - it’s either he’s that self-sacrificing or sadly, when weighed against the lives of the people he must protect, he doesn’t place that much value on his own life.
favorite moment: the feel when u don’t get his attention, seriously. pls let me sneak about ur floor in peace - i swear i went to church so pls stop with the grand + holy crosses
least favorite moment: fighting him is torture bc if rms data is right, 478,745 hp, man - he has the longest hp out of his floormates… and that’s just a regular randel… the paladin one has 3,870,000 and the mvp one a whopping 6,870,000… since his life is that fucking long, say goodbye to trying not to be mobbed by the other ghosts bc ur still busy trying to kill him, damn
a situation with this character that i want to see explored more: same like flamel, knowing his backstory would be A+ but… hmm, maybe something way back like his origins story or something, the story of why and what made him decide to be a swordsman/crusader. y’know, that’s if we’re assuming that he’s not from a family line of swordsmen/crusaders or something. idk, sometimes the thing is with characters who are in line with a faith/ideal is that i’m interested in what made them devote their lives to that certain faith/ideal in the first place.
an interesting au for this character: oooh, just… idk, a modern au where he suddenly ends up taking care of the bio2 kids who are orphans. he’s never mentioned it to anyone, not even to the people of his workplace who happen to be his friends/co-workers like for 4 years already. therein lies the problem: his friends on separate occasions have seen him with at least 2 or 1 of the kids. they all know randel isn’t married. the hair colors (cenia and laurell) + other features don’t match up. some distinctly heard a kid call him dad/daddy/father (see: wickebine, armaia, the rest respectively). conclusion: it’s either a) he’s babysitting as a part time job bc goddamn rekenber’s a cheap son of a bitch that won’t give him a raise, b) those kids are his cousins or something and are probably so fond of him that they see him as a father figure, or c) illegitimate chiLDREN FROM SOME ONE NIGHT STANDS ALRIIIGHT SCANDAL IN THE OFFICE. chaos ensues even before poor randel has a chance to explain himself.
a crossover: lol, idk… a shingeki one maybe where randel’s probably the head of the survey corps, watching over our fated trio (probably flamel/celia/chen for his floor, bio2&3′s are a mix&match). for some time, the trio don’t see him but strangely enough when the trio get old enough to join the corps, they discover that randel is considered a scum and a traitor to humanity by all three army regiments (survey, garrison, & military) which is strange bc randel is very well known and respected by humanity within the walls, wow. when the trio get deeper into his case, it turns out that randel vehemently fought against a group of scientists that were looking for human subjects for the ‘sake of saving humanity by using present resources’ - the three of them were seen as part of those potential resources and were eyed upon by the scientists were they were already young, along with other people from different parts of the walls (the other bio mobs). what happened to randel, however, is left in the air… was he even still alive, or had something important happened leading him to be branded as the traitor of humanity? politics, religion, science, drama, and titans (removers maybe lol) ensue.
otp: again, no solid one.
other ships: ????? surprising revelation is that i don’t exactly ship randel romantically, wow even i just discovered that now
brotp: his floormates - although honestly i think that one way or another, randel could be on everyone’s good side once they just get around to talking, probably
notp: zealotus oKAAAAY no seriously pls make me stop placing random mobs in this section
assortment of headcanons:
very, very religiously open + tolerant. he shows a lot of interest on other faiths and is knowledgeable even of various religious practices asides from his own. of course, he’s still steadfastly loyal to what he believes in first and foremost, but he feels no need to impart his beliefs to those who don’t / are reluctant to believe. he isn’t the type you’d see to be preaching about his faith either, that is unless you ask.
in line with the hc above, his tolerance also extends to people and their character + personalities, but he isn’t too tolerant to the point that he’d rationalize questionable actions + motives. he may have the patience of a saint, but no one’s so sure if they want to see him snap / test his patience to see what makes him tick. throwing bullshit about his faith doesn’t work on him, actually.
he’s pretty crafty - he pretty much taught himself other ways to help people, from practical stuff like sewing to more complicated stuff like woodwork + metal works, wow. he’s basically the ideal useful guy in survival crises… minus the fact that he can’t cook that well lol
he has the worst drinking tolerance among the bio3 + bio4 residents - the sign that he’s drunk is when his face shows more expression than usual + his posture breaks (the paladin randel card art lol). nobody knows bc damn son, he has a pretty good poker face and he can hold it for a really long time
... the only reason he grew his hair long is bc of a promise to his mother. he vowed that if ever he was to fall in love (and it was reciprocated) / find the person he would devote his life to, that would be the only time he would cut his hair, and his mother would do the honors... but... yeah... wow, i made myself feel sad
this was a lot of fun - thanks a lot for the ask anon, and i welcome your curiosity anytime! ( ＾∇＾) i’m always in for a distraction from work lol
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