#I Want My Ex Back So Bad It Hurts Astounding Ideas
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Bad Day
-- Thank you guys for all your requests. I want to apologise for any inaccuracies, I asked my ex-aircadet fiancé about some stuff but I will shamelessly admit that I bent his answers a little to fit my idea…
Request: "Bob gets hurt ( pretty bad ) and rooster has to tell the reader and what not" by
@happyblogsstuff
Tw. For brief mention of pregnancy and and being pregnant, and for main character injuries--
Bob had had a good day.
Or a good start anyway, it wasn't going so well now.
He'd woken up early, spent time having breakfast and coffee before climbing back into bed with you to cuddle. You had snuggled into his chest adorably, eventually gracing Bob with the sight of your beautiful eyes and a sleepy smile. He had kissed you, you'd pulled him over on top of you and things had gone from there.
The day had continued to be good when he arrived on base to find chocolate chip muffins (courtesy of a bet lost by Hangman) in the recreation room and Phoenix, his best friend, guarding one from chocolate-addicted Fanboy to give to him. They had laughed and joked and eventually left for Hangar six for briefing.
He was even looking forward to dinner at your mothers, aka, the best cook in the world. He hoped she'd make her lasagna.
The sky had been blue and void of clouds, the perfect day for flying and Phoenix, Bob, Hangman, Maverick and Payback had all gone up without a worry.
Maverick had waged a tough war against their guns and managed to pick them out of the sky one by one.
Slowly, the sky had turned darker and more ominous but nothing to raise alarm bells.
"Fuck!" Phoenix had shouted when their plane buzzed and initiated landing procedures.
And then the comms died. It took a second for it to sink in that the rest of the plane did too and there was no turning it back on. The plane veered on its side, Phoenix tried to turn it back but to no avail. They were going to crash and there was nothing they could do about it. They couldn't even ask to evacuate the tarmac.
The tip of their left wing hit the landing strip with a nauseating 'CLANG' and their day went from bad to worse. The speed of their aircraft sent it ricocheting into the air spinning madly. Bob could feel a second of weightlessness and then searing pain in his neck at the impact. The plane bounced like a ball six times before landing on its head, effectively trapping them in.
Bob had lost consciousness on the third bounce. He woke up a few minutes later to a suspiciously quiet and confusing world. It took him a moment to realise that the plane was on fire and another moment to realise he couldn't move.
He wanted so desperately to touch Phoenix and check she was alive because the way she was sitting there with her limp arms over her head and resting on the burning canopy didn't bode well.
He lost consciousness again.
----
The rec room had accidentally given them a first row seat to their worst nightmare as pilots.
Rooster had just gotten up for a cup of coffee and a snickers bar from the vending machine when thunder roared. He looked over at Hangman to tell him something and saw lightning strike his teammates' plane straight on the canopy. Whatever Phoenix had been saying through the radio was cut short with jarring suddenness.
He watched it all happen in slow motion. The wingtip clipping the tarmac, sending the million dollar aircraft spiraling into the air and bouncing six times before getting overturned by momentum and hitting the canopy with astounding force.
Everyone in the room was holding their breath, holding hope that at any second one or both would crawl out of there alive. No one did. The plane caught fire, the medics and the extraction team came and Rooster felt nauseous.
He locked eyes with Hangman and both sprinted out of the room and into the tarmac in time for the firemen's arrival. The extraction team worked hard, but cutting scolding metal wasn't an easy time. Rooster could see the medical team getting worried.
Maverick caught up to him, everyone so occupied by the scene in front of them that they hadn't noticed he had even landed. Admiral Simpson joined them a few minutes later, right as the extraction team pulled someone out. It was impossible to figure out which one, as the green flight suits didn't really give much indication and Rooster presumed they had kept on the helmet to keep things in place should something have happened.
Then, they pulled out the second one and they all watched as the medic pulling his guerney draped a white sheets over their legs, scared he was just leaving the job unfinished and that their friend was actually dead.
----
Phoenix had lost consciousness almost immediately. She had felt the lightning strike hit her right above the head and the plane veering on its side and when they clipped the strip, she hit her head and she passed out. The fact that this was a good thing had only crossed her mind later, way after she had woken up.
The fact that she had practically been a ragdoll had made the impact much easier on her body, as her muscles didn't tense up and absorbed shock surprisingly well. But, the nurse had said, she would walk out of here with both legs, both arms and a head, she wouldn't be able to fly again for a while if ever, but right now Phoenix never wanted to see a plane again.
When she had asked about Bob, the nurse didn't sound so sure.
Phoenix had volunteered to call but Rooster thought he'd do it. He was the only one who had met you and he was certain you'd want to hear it from someone you knew. He was pacing the floor of the recreation room trying to find the words when it occurred to him that he never would. So he unlocked Bob's phone and called.
---
You were at your mom's when your phone rang. It was unusually early for him to call. He wouldn't be on lunch for a while yet so it could only mean two things. Either his training had been cancelled due to the weather, or he had had an accident.
You prayed it was the former.
When you picked up the phone, your heart sank, your knees buckled and tears started streaming down your cheeks.
"Y/n, this is Rooster -- err, Bradley Bradshaw -- I fly with Bob. There's been an crash."
Lieutenant Bradshaw had kept on talking but you had stopped listening.
"The doctors aren't sure he'll survive the night" was the only other thing you caught.
You looked around at the room. Your mother and you had been setting up for tonight's dinner. It was a special occasion, you had a surprise.
In a daze, you stepped out of the corridor you had taken the call in and walked towards the open box on the table. Inside was a little onesie saying "Future pilot" and an ultrasound picture.
#fanfic#top gun fanfiction#top gun x reader#top gun maverick#bob floyd#robert bob floyd#bob x reader#requests
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honestly you are my favorite place to complain about r/nance.
Theres this steddie fic ive been reading for a while, and it was never tagged r/nance at the start, it's just been introduced later in. and I can deal with minor r/nance as long as it doesn't play much into the story. but the way its been dealt with in this fic.
in this fic robin avoids spending time with steve for weeks, I'm pretty sure its well over a month, when she starts dating nancy. like she'll only spend time with steve at work or if its in a group, and even at work she wont talk to him much. steve obviously feels hurt and has the whole self esteem issues of what if I'm a burden/ she doesn't want me any more.
Then she only spends time with steve again because eddie told her that steve seemed lonely without her. she uses the excuse of not telling him about her and nance because they didn't want to "hurt him", and gives a half assed apology. Then Steve ends up being the one to comfort robin because she keeps calling herself a bad friend and a horrible person without even looking at why steve was hurt, and he just forgives her.
And it just bugs me because it feels like these authors don't understand a thing about steve or robin. robin wouldn't spend so long choosing nance over steve and give the poorest of apologies, and steve wouldn't accept an apology like that, or at least wouldn't let it go back to 100% ok, because he would feel too hurt to go back to their normal friendship.
thank you <3 i will always be a safe place to complain about random shit. i love complaining.
i hate when fics have untagged ships. like i get it if it’s not important enough to actually tag the relationship, but at least tag background r//nance.
god, that enrages me and i’m not even reading it lol. i hate when the wronged party ends up having to comfort the person that treated them like shit. i like the characters to grovel.
yeah, the idea that robin could go more then two days without chit-chatting to steve is insane. they would literally start going through withdrawal.
i’ve made a huge post about this before, but it always astounds me when people have characters treat steve like shit and he’s just fine with it. like, yeah, he doesn’t have much self-worth, and so on and so forth. but he literally dumped his best friends for being cunts. he isn’t gonna allow everyone around him to treat him like utter shit. steve’s still a bitchy mean girl at heart, and if people are being pricks, he’ll lash out. we’ve all seen it.
and that’s not even getting into the r//nance of it all. robin treats him like shit, and is dating his ex??? steve would fake his death and leave town or some shit so everyone feels bad for mistreating him lmao.
no but seriously. stop treating steve like shit 2023
also!!! the fact that eddie had to be the one to tell robin to start spending time with steve again? ugh.
#stobin#steve harrington#robin buckley#anti ronance#eddie munson#stranger things#asks#anon#st fic critiques
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Don’t Be Sorry
In which Y/N’s past catches up to her... and Colson
Reader x Colson Baker
Warnings: Abuse (Graphic), cursing, violence.
A/N: Seriously, it gets detailed. If you are uncomfortable with domestic abuse/ violence then this is not the fic for you. If you are a victim of abuse, there are resources available for you. The National Domestic Violence Support Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Word Count: 2352
masterlist
“To good music and good friends” Colson shouted over the noise of the crowd. The group raised their glasses in a toast before downing the shot. “Now let’s fuckin party!”
It was your first time out in a while. You liked to pretend it was because you were too busy. I have a job outside of writing music with you, you would always remind the older boy. But truthfully, you weren’t as attached to the party scene as your friends and did whatever you could to avoid them.
But when Colson asked, well begged, you to go out with them to celebrate finishing Hotel Diablo you couldn’t say no. Colson’s face when you said yes almost made you excited. Almost.
But now on the crowded rooftop of a club you’d never been to in an outfit that was all too tight and all too short, you wished you’d made up an excuse to stay home. Luckily your friends made you forget your unease.
“Y/N, watch me drink both of these beers in 10 seconds!” Rook shouted, holding two bottles in his hands. You laughed, shaking your head slightly at his antics and pulling out your phone to time him.
“Ok, go.” You said as he brought the bottles up to his mouth, chugging both in an astounding 9.75 seconds. “Dude that’s insane.” You showed him the timer and he cheered, dragging you to the bar.
“I’m getting you a drink, whaddyu want?” Rook asked as he waved down the bartender. “Rum and coke?” He questioned, knowing your order by heart at this point.
“How’d you guess.” You asked with a smile on your face.
“It’s a talent.” Rook laughed, arms flailing as he bowed dramatically.
The pair of you got your drinks and returned to your group in the middle of the dance floor. When you got back Slim dramatically held out his hand for you to dance with him, and you guys jumped around to the music.
The drink in your veins made you a little more comfortable. it wasn’t enough to get you into any trouble, just enough to loosen you up for a good time. As the group laughed at AJ’s terrible dance moves, you felt a chill come over the room.
As the rest of your friends smiled and laughed, you looked around the dance floor, trying to find anything, or anyone, out of place. Unfortunately for you, you were much shorter than the men around you, so you couldn’t see much.
Colson noticed you weren’t really with the group, and he followed your gaze around the room, leaning in close to you. “Everything ok?” He asked.
“Yeah, I just have this weird feeling.”
He laughed, “drink too much?”
You gave him a pointed look and then chuckled to signify you were joking. “No, I just, I don’t know how to explain it. I just have a bad feeling about something.”
“Ok, well just don’t leave my side. I’ll keep you safe.” He winked at you and you rolled your eyes, but you appreciated the sincerity in his statement.
Colson and you had been friends for years, but after your last relationship ended... roughly (to put it nicely), he let you stay at his place for a while until you got back on your feet. Since then you’d gotten closer to the tattooed man and come to trust him implicitly.
You refocused on your friends, watching Pete and Baze racing pints of beers, with Baze winning (for obvious reasons). You laughed as Pete hung his head in shame. He scrunched his nose at you. “I don’t see you chugging anything.”
This only made you laugh harder, “I don’t think what you were doing is considered “chugging.”” You made air quotes as he put on a mock hurt expression.
“Y/N’s up next!” Slim shouted and your eyes went wide.
“Oh hell no, man. I leave that shit up to you guys.” You smiled as he shook his head profusely.
“Nope, you gotta do it. Rook’s already getting the beer.”
You hung your head, knowing there was no arguing with Slim. “Fine, but I’m gonna lose and then I’m gonna be mad. So if I’m mad, its your fault.” You shook your head as the boys howled.
Rook came back with two beers in his hand, handing you one. “I’ll give you a head start.” Slim smiled.
“Fuck no, man.” You said before bringing the beer to your lips, chugging the drink. Slim was taken off guard and ended up starting a few seconds after you, which was all the advantage you needed.
You raised your hands in victory as AJ picked you up in celebration, the boys cheering for you as Slim hung his head. Once you landed back on your feet, Rook threw his arm around your shoulders, “Y/N is the fuckin bomb.”
You loved this feeling, you loved being surrounded by your friends who loved you. You giggled as he leaned into you, making you stumble under his weight.
“Oh look, Y/Ns surrounded by all her little man-whores.” His voice sobered you up instantly and made every bone in your body tense up. You looked up to Colson for support, but he was already focused on the man behind you.
“Not even gonna look at me, damn. You’re really that much of a bitch, huh? Not even gonna say hi?” His voice was like poison in your veins. Every word he spoke reminded you of the last time you saw him. You subconsciously reached up to your neck, rubbing your throat.
“Get the fuck away from her dude.” Colson said shortly. You tried to catch his eye. You wanted to beg him not to make a scene, to just take your hand and leave. But it was too late for that.
“And who the fuck are you?” Jason, your ex-boyfriend, moved towards Colson and into your view. You flashed back to the night in his living room, his back facing you just like it was now, before he turned around and-
Luckily, Rook’s hand squeezing your shoulder pulled you from your thoughts. You turned to look at him, his head cocked and his eyes questioning. You simply shook your head at him. You looked back to Colson who was seething. You caught Pete’s eye behind him and mouthed, we need to leave.
Pete nodded, grabbing Colson’s arm lightly, but the blond only shook off his friends grasp.
“Hey, there’s this really cool music store down the street that’s still open, we should go check it out.” AJ said, his eyes trained on you. Thank god for AJ.
“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.” Pete said, “Colson let’s go check it out.”
You could see Jason’s face change when he figured out who the blond man was. “Yeah, Colson, why don’t you take your bitch and get out of here.”
“Don’t fucking call her that.” Colson moved closer to him and your eyes widened in fear.
“What? A bitch? That’s what she is, a slutty fucking bitch.” With every word, Jason moved closer to your friend until the two men were almost touching. Tears stung your eyes as you flashed back again.
“You stupid fucking whore. Who the fuck do you think you are? Fucking around with some asshole rapper! Did you forget you fucking belong to me?”
His words still rang in your mind. You could feel your body begin to shut down, your lungs gasping for breath just like they had that day.
You were brought back to reality by the screams of protest as Colson pushed your ex-boyfriend away from him, causing Jason’s fist to make contact with Colson’s jaw.
“You think you can get away with making me look like an idiot? I’m your fucking boyfriend, not him.”
Jason’s fist made contact with your left cheek and your knees failed to hold you up. The man caught you before you hit the ground, leaning forward to pin you against the wall behind you.
“Y/N, c’mon, let’s go.” Rook’s arm fell to the small of your back as he escorted you through the crowd, Slim following you. You made your way down the stairs, the two boys helping to support your weight.
“I’m gonna make you remember who you belong to.”
Jason pinned your arms above your head as he pressed you further into the wall. His free hand made its way up your chest to your throat. His soft grasp turned into a squeeze around your neck.
“Jason please-”
You tried to talk, but few words could come out. You struggled for air as his eyes grew darker and darker.
“You think you can go and fuck around with whoever you want, don’t you?”
You shook your head, but he continued.
“You’re a goddamn slut, and you need to learn your lesson.”
Your vision began to blur.
“Y/N, you okay?” You came back to reality to find yourself in the alley between the club and the neighboring building. Slim was standing in front of you, Rook to your side as you leaned against the wall behind you.
You shook your head in response and he let out a sigh. Suddenly the door slammed open and you flinched at the noise.
“I’m gonna fucking kill him.”
“I’m gonna fucking kill you.”
You kneed Jason as a last resort before you lost consciousness, and now you were running through the house. You ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind you and pulling your phone from your pocket, not even noticing the new crack in the screen. You searched for the first name you could think of.
“Colson?”
“Colson, take a breath, man!” AJ yelled as he followed the tall blond man outside.
Colson was pacing a few feet away from you as you tried to focus on breathing, your hand subconsciously reaching for your neck again, as if you were trying to pry his invisible hand off of you.
Pete moved in front of you, taking in your state of fear. Other than Colson, Pete was the only one who had any idea about your ex. He didn’t know the whole story, only that it ended violently.
“Hey, you okay?” He asked, keeping his distance as he leaned against the other wall across from you.
You sniffled and wiped your face, nodding quickly as you realized most of your friends- save for Baze and Colson- were watching you. “Sorry guys- he’s just an ex. He’s kind of an asshole.”
“Really kid? We couldn’t tell.” AJ tried to joke, and you cracked a small smile, trying to convince them you were ok.
Your breathing started to slow, and you felt yourself coming down from your panicked state, until you caught Colson’s fist making contact with the wall of the club.
“Open this fucking door bitch!”
Jason’s fists beat against the door- the only thing standing between you and him.
“He’s gonna kill me Cols. I’m so scared.”
Your sobs rang through the phone as the banging intensified.
“He can’t save you now, bitch! Not such a big man now, are ya? Colson!”
“Colson!” Baze berated the blond man, who recoiled in pain. “Get your shit together, bro.” He said, quieter.
Colson looked up at his friend and then past him to meet your eyes. His blue orbs softened at the tears in yours. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He whispered, walking over to you.
He leaned forward against the wall you already occupied, his arms above your head as his head drooped down to watch you. You looked up at him, your hand reaching up to touch his face where Jason had made contact.
He flinched when your skin met his, causing you to jerk your hand back, afraid he would yell at you for hurting him.
“It’s okay, I was just surprised is all.” He whispered before grabbing your hand and bringing it back up to his chin. You ran your fingers over the forming bruise lightly, another tear falling from your eyes.
“I’m so sorry.” You whispered. “I didn’t think he’d- I didn’t know...” You trailed off, looking down and dropping your hand from Colson’s face.
“Hey, hey, hey.” He moved one hand to gently tilt your face up, leaning down to be closer to you, “Look at me. This was not your fault. Okay? You don’t need to be sorry for anything, babe. You did nothing wrong.”
“I just- if I hadn’t called you that night-”
“You wouldn’t be here. Y/N if you hadn’t called me you could’ve been seriously hurt. He could’ve killed you.”
You took a shaky breath in, sniffling. Colson sniffled too. “Y/N, this is nothing, okay? I would take a thousand more punches like this if it means that douchebag never comes near you again. I mean it. Don’t blame yourself for this, okay?” You nod, reaching your arms up to wrap around his neck as you bury your head into his shoulder, your nose pressed against his neck.
His arms wrapped around you and you could hear his sniffles in your ear as his lips pressed against your hair. “Thank you.” You mumble into his neck, pressing your lips against the hot skin.
“Hey! Get the fuck out of here! This isn’t some fucking party you can photograph. Fuck off with your cameras!” Pete yelled, causing you to release Colson and look towards the commotion. You briefly see a figure in the distance before a white flash blinds you.
“Fuckin paps.” Colson whispered, his arms still wrapped around your waist.
“Let’s get outta here, guys.” Slim says, leading everyone back into the club to leave through the back door. Colson interlocked your hand with his as you stepped into the building, keeping you as close to him as possible as you squeezed your way through the crowd.
Once you loaded yourselves into the van, you leaned your head on Colson’s shoulder, your hands still interlocked. “Can I stay at yours tonight?” You asked in a whisper. Colson simply pressed a kiss to your forehead, his hand leaving yours to wrap around you and pull you closer to him.
#mgk#machine gun kelly#colson baker#mgk imagine#mgk angst#colson baker imagine#colson imagine#colson x reader#colson baker x reader#machine gun kelly imagine
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3AM | Nathan Bateman | Ex Machina
Summary: A rainstorm in the middle of the night is the perfect time to start confessing feelings and thoughts that have been bottled up for over a year. At least to Nathan it is. [Post Film - Nathan Lives] [Mentions of Alcoholism] [Pregnancy - Mentioned] [Soft!Nathan] [Mention of Injury - Film Canon] [Fluff with Angst] [F!reader/Nathan] [Established Relationship]
Word Count: 1.8k
|Masterlist In Bio|
Nathan doesn't sleep on his own anymore unless it's raining, not without help. Drinking, some over the counter non prescription sleeping medication, physical exhaustion. He will do anything to make himself sleep, except see a doctor. Nathan doesn't like doctors, he thinks most are liars and cheats who just want to scam people out of their money. You have no idea where he got the theories he has but he won't see medical professionals unless he absolutely cannot handle the situation himself. He is a genius but maybe too in his head for his own good.
You're not sure why this all started, but you can pinpoint when it started. A year ago, a year and three months ago after his last failed AI. Failed isn't the right word. They aren't failures, they're incredible works of art and science but not what he wants so in his eyes, failures. Ava was his best work to date and he even brought in an outside civilian to try her out with someone other than himself. He never lets you in with the AI. Says he is protecting you. Things with Ava escalated, got heated and Nathan got seriously hurt. After she was detained, Nathan was forced to shut the breaker down to Ava's room so she couldn't power back up after her battery ran down and he could safely disassemble her after he healed. After that he became closed off, more so than usual. The drinking got worse and the sleeplessness started. It has put a strain on your relationship that sometimes it feels like it only affects you.
So when you wake up in the middle of the night and go to the kitchen for a bottle of water and see Nathan passed out on the couch you think he's drunk again. A topic of many arguments and one you don't want to breach at three in the morning. So you tiptoe quietly past him to your destination. It's then that you see the rain pelting the glass walls of the house. Wind whipping around the trees and making a muffled howling sound. You wish Nathan would come to bed, your shared bed, but he won't if he's been hitting the bottle because he knows you hate it. Maybe you can get him to move off the couch if he's just asleep because of the rain.
"What's that noise?" He groans and you stop by the doorway to the inner workings of the house, bottle of water in hand. "Kitten? That you?"
"Yes, I was getting water. Do you need something?"
"Noise?" He asks insistently.
You cross the room and he lifts his arm from his eyes. "It's a storm. Pretty bad one if I were to guess."
"Oh."
"Mmhmm. Do you want to go sit on the enclosed deck? I know you like to watch the rain."
Nathan sits up and fixes his crooked glasses. "What time is it?"
"Three A.M."
"Fuck." He pushes up off the couch and goes to the window leaning against it with his forearms up on the glass, eyes fixated on something out in the dark. "I must have passed out."
"Yeah, it's raining." You walk up behind him and lay a hand between his shoulder blades. "You always sleep when it's raining."
Nathan glances back at you. "I do?"
"Yes." You chuckle. "You don't know?"
"I sleep without the rain too, that's ridiculous."
"No, you get black out drunk and pass out or your body physically shuts down because you go too long without rest." There is a hint of venom in your words that you don't intend but it's a touchy subject. You miss him in your bed. You miss him in general. Since Ava things haven't been the same and you're getting tired of it.
Nathan doesn't say anything. He just stares out at the darkness. You hate his silence. It's almost worse than when he's talking to you like you're a child, which he rarely does now since you've discussed how that doesn't fly with you. Silence is his new way of saying he is right about everything.
"Nate," you start and he pushes off the glass, walking away to the kitchen. "Nathan, where are you going?"
"Deck."
------------------
The moment you're seated together on the wooden bench in the enclosed deck, he decides to speak. It's not loud but it makes your heart rate spike when he begins. You're not sure why. Maybe you can feel something coming.
"I've been thinking."
"You're always thinking."
"No," he looks over and you can tell by the way his eyes are softened that he's serious and he wants you to listen and not talk back right now. "I want to stop drinking."
You lay your hand on his thigh and he covers it with his own. You've never known him to have this serious of a conversation with you. Not even when he said I love you the first time. Nothing has felt this important. "Why?"
"For you." He leans his head on your shoulder and you rub your cheek against his stubbly hair. "I know you don't like it and I can see it's putting a strain on our relationship."
"I definitely wouldn't mind it. I do miss you."
"I'm right here, every day."
"You know that isn't what I mean."
"I know." He murmurs. You don't think you've ever heard him speak so softly outside of sleepy cuddling, let alone hear him agree with you so quickly. This is scaring you. It makes you think something is wrong.
You rub your hand over his cheek, fingers flexing in his beard. "Is something going on? Did something happen to bring this all about?"
"Do you think I'd be a good dad?"
You pause, thrown for a loop at such a left field question. "A good dad? Nathan...I don't know."
"You can say no."
"That's not my answer." You look out at the rain. You don't know what he would be like as a dad. Having children changes people. As he currently is, no, Nathan would not be a good dad. He's too stubborn, bossy, impatient and absent. He has too much going on in the lab to focus on raising a human being. "It's complicated."
"Simplify it."
"I don't know how you are with children. I've never seen that side of you. But that doesn't matter. How a person is with someone else's kids versus how they act when it's their own is different. It's not a black and white answer."
"Do you want children?"
You sigh and look at him. He looks distant, zoned out. If you didn't know better you'd think he was drunk or stoned. "Maybe. It's not something I think about a lot. Do you? It seems you're thinking about it quite a bit more than me."
"I thought about it today. I thought about a lot of things today, and yesterday. What day is it? Nevermind it doesn't matter."
"What have you been thinking about? Other than children obviously."
"Like how I've never loved someone, or anything more than I love you. I didn't even think myself capable of love until I thought I was going to die after Ava's attack and my first thought was not that I was scared of death, but that you would be alone and you would have to see me die."
"Nathan, honey..." You slide your hand across his stomach where, beneath the soft cotton shirt, lies a very large scar. You'll never forget that night. It was a nightmare come to life.
A cool wetness comes across your arm, and you think it is the rain at first. Somehow leaking through the roof. But then you realize it's Nathan. He's crying for the first time since you met him, since you fell in love with him. He is crying silently.
There are no words to be said as you gather his head to your chest and hold him tight. He's been holding on to this for a long time. It wasn't just yesterday he was thinking about it. It's been a year and three months. You imagine he has been tormenting himself every day with the thought of leaving you alone, of you coping with his death. If only it didn't take so long for him to come clean.
"I'm sorry." He whispers, clinging to your back. "I won't leave you."
"I won't leave you either."
"I'm not making AI anymore. Not the conscious kind. Ava was too much, I played God and I realize I shouldn't have."
This is astounding. Nathan never apologizes, never admits fault or denies his works. You don't know who this is. This is not your Nathan. "Is there something more you want to tell me?"
"Yeah."
Your stomach aches, and a cold shiver tears it's way through your body. You have no idea what he is going to say. The worst is that he's dying, you think. "Out with it then. You're not one to dilly dally with words."
"Marry me."
"What?"
Nathan slides off the bench and stands in front of you. He doesn't kneel. He would never kneel. "Marry me." He puts his hand out for you. It's not so much a question as it is a command. How very Nathan. If he were any other person you would tell them off for this kind of harsh proposal.
"I thought you didn't believe in marriage."
"I didn't believe in love either but here I am."
You stand up and he takes your hands, rubbing his thumbs over the tops. "You want to marry me and have kids? Who are you?"
"I'm Nathan." He leans in and presses his forehead to yours. "I'm the Nathan that you broke down emotionally piece by piece for the last two years and this is what's left."
"A softie?"
"I wouldn't say I'm soft. I'm more...attuned to my emotional responses."
You reach up and hold his face in your hands, head still pressed to his. "I think I love this Nathan more. Is that harsh?"
"No." He nudges forward, bumping your nose and presses a quick kiss to your lips. "But don't expect me to be any softer in bed."
"I would never."
"Good. So you accept?"
"Accept?"
"My proposal."
You laugh softly under your breath. "That was a proposal? It didn't sound like a question, but rather a command."
Nathan smiles, that troublesome glint in his eye. "Semantics. So will you?"
You roll your eyes and smile. "Yes. I'll marry you Nathan."
"Good." He pulls you in, hips flush to his, pressing his face to your neck. He kisses along your throat, leaving wet licks across your jaw. "Now I can put a baby in you," he murmurs against your ear.
You smack him in the back and he chuckles.
"Come on." He wraps his arms around you and hauls you up against his chest. "I've done some research. I know all the best positions to get you nice and full."
"Nathan!"
"Oh shut up." He walks you back toward the kitchen, biting on your shoulder. "You love it dirty."
"Oh my God!"
"Yes?"
"I hate you."
"Love you too."
--------------
end
Thank you! Please Comment and reblog if you read and or enjoyed -A
*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted works.*****
#nathan bateman#nathan bateman fic#nathan bateman x reader#ex machina#ex machina fic#ex machina fanfic#oscar issac#oscar issac fic
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heyy!! first off i hope you’re having a lovely day/night and are taking care of yourself :) i noticed your requests were open buuut i don’t exactly know how your requests work or your rules for requests and such so if any of this sounds unappealing to you then feel free to disregard it!!
i was wondering if you could do (headcanons or drabbles, whichever is more comfortable for you) for the hosts and how they would react if an s/o had an encounter with a toxic ex??
sorry if it’s troublesome but you’re one of the few people i’ve seen on here who write for ohshc and i recently had a run in with one of my, not so pleasant ex’s, and i’m still a bit shaken up by it. and once again no pressure or anything and if this doesn’t sound like something you’d want to do or isn’t something you take then feel free to ignore this :)
ty for your time love <3
Hi anon! Your request was so polite and lovely, it really made my morning :) my requests work just like this! Unless I post a prompt list or something, feel free to just slide in and send me a prompt! I have a stash of my own I’m working on but I always want to hear from you all and I’m always looking for ideas!
Thanks for sending this in! I really like this idea; it really showcases each of the hosts’ personalities. I’m sorry you had a bad run-in with your ex. I hope you take the time you need to find peace and comfort away from them, and I want you to remember that you are worthy of all the pure love in the world. I’m recovering from a toxic relationship too, so my messages are open if you need someone to talk to 💖
I listened to “You should be sad” by Halsey while listening to this.
Hosts running into your toxic ex:
Tamaki:
1. Tamaki’s greatest wish in life is to have a family. A whole, complete, loving, annoying family. He made that happen at Ouran, and he wants to make it happen with you, too. When he loves, he loves with all his soul.
2. So he doesn’t understand why partners cheat. It literally astounds him. You’re in a relationship with this beautiful person you love, and you’re going to throw it all away?
3. So when he sees your ex and remembers all the things you told him they did to you, it takes everything in him not to go up to them and just tell them off.
4. You’re out shopping when you see them, and you silently duck behind Tamaki’s tall frame.
5. He instantly perks up and asks you to point out who it is, keeping you hidden behind him.
6. When you show him, he pulls you to his chest and wraps his arms around you, burying your face in his shirt so you can’t see them.
7. Petting your hair and whispering sweet assurances in your ear.
8. “You’re with me now. You don’t have to be afraid.”
9. “They don’t deserve you. They never did.”
10. “You make me so happy. I would never dream of hurting you.”
11. “I’ll never leave you.”
12. You stay cuddled in his chest until your ex passes, with Tamaki sending them a death glare until they’re out of sight.
13. Tamaki buys you anything you want to help you forget about it.
Kyoya:
1. RIP to the person that hurt you, because he will ensure their demise
2. When you first tell him about your ex, he will do a little background research on them and learn their habits to make sure whenever you go out that you don’t run in to them
3. However, one day you do happen to run into them
4. Kyoya curses himself for not doing more research
5. You try to act like everything is normal, but he notices
6. The only thing keeping him from sicing his bodyguards on them is the tight grip you have on his hand
7. You go off to the bathroom to catch your breath and clear your head
8. He goes right up to them and threatens them within an inch of their life
9. “Listen here you bastard. I know everything about you. I know your SSN. I know where you live and what you like to do. If you ever, ever hurt them or go near them again, I will not hesitate to make your life a living hell.”
10. He scares them off
11. And when you come out of the bathroom and see they’re gone, you know he did something
12. “What did you do?”
13. “Don’t worry, I took care of them.”
Haruhi:
1. She will also give them a piece of her mind
2. She’s not one to take insults lying down
3. She yelled at Yoshio Ootori, after all
4. And those men in ep. 8
5. She won’t embarrass you or make a scene
6. But if they happen to walk too close to you
7. She might stick out her foot
8. They might “trip”
9. And end up with a broken nose
10. Oh whoops how could that have happened
11. But she will lovingly rub your back to help you calm down
12. And will make you your favorite food for dinner that night
Hikaru:
1. That boy is a little ball of anger anyways
2. So Heaven help if you ex sees you two together
3. The night you told him everything about your ex, he held you until you fell asleep
4. And silently promised you and himself that he would make them pay for hurting you
5. Hikaru has two modes
6. FIGHT
7. And
8. JEALOUS
9. You have to l i t e r a l l y hold him back when you see them in public
10. He will go buck wild on their ass
11. If your ex is male, he will tear him to pieces
12. He will knock them on their sorry ass and punch them until they regret the day they were born
13. Lights out mf
14. He is so furious that this person hurt you--you, the one he loves more than anyone in the entire world--that he will not stop fighting until the guy is bleeding from every orifice
15. You’re embarrassed at first
16. But you kinda like the lengths he went to to protect your honor
17. If your ex is a girl
18. He was raised to never hit a woman
19. So he will just glare at her so hard she’s sure to be seeing stars
20. And wrap his arms around you and give you a kiss to make it obvious that you are his
21. Once they’re gone, he keeps you wrapped in his arms to give you a steady anchor
22. With whispered promises of “I will always be here”
23. And kisses pressed into your hair
Kaoru:
1. Kaoru doesn’t get enough mischievous credit
2. Remember the refreshing battle? He can pull a few tricks even without Hikaru around
3. Sure, he’s more quiet and reserved than his brother
4. But if your ex even dares to show their face when he’s around
5. Then he will make it obvious who you are currently dating
6. As soon as your ex sees you he will pull you into a makeout session
7. Doesn’t matter where you are
8. School
9. Mall
10. Hitachiin fundraiser event
11. He doesn’t care
12. Sloppy, sloppy makeout session
13. He will kiss you so hard that you forget your ex is even around
14. If you’re comfortable with it, his hands will wander, just to prove the point
15. While he enjoys kissing you because you’re you, he also wants to show your ex how much you upgraded
16. Because now you’re dating a person who is protective of you and loves you with his whole heart
17. And isn’t afraid to show it
18. And who wants nothing but your love in return
Mitsukuni:
1. Dead.
2. Plain and simple.
3. Dead.
4. Mitsukuni will see that this person makes you sad
5. And they’ll probably end up in a dungeon somewhere
6. Never seen or heard from again
7. And then he’ll just pop back up with you
8. “Where did you go?”
9. “Bakery!”
10. *slyly washes his hands of the remains*
11. Buys your silence with ice cream
Takashi:
1. Ya know that meme??? The “haha, I’m in danger” meme?
2. Yeah, that’s your ex when Takashi gets his hands on them
3. He knows you wouldn’t want much attention brought to it
4. But he feels the way your hand tenses when you see them
5. He sees the way you freeze when they walk by
6. He knows just how awful they were to you
7. And so that night when you get home, he sits down with you and untangles every knotted string connecting your heart with that person
8. He listens to you talk, holds you when you cry, and helps you figure out the healthiest way to cope with what that relationship did to you
9. He runs his fingers through your hair as you snuggle against his chest, feeling warm and safe and loved and cared for
10. You fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat
11. He is extra nice to you the next day
12. He knows you’re still healing
13. He’s just glad you’ve allowed him there for the ride
14. He does research to find the best ways to help you heal
15. Buys books and watches TedTalks and attends online forums
16. He brings up therapy as gently as he can
17. And points to his research saying it might help
18. And he’ll go with you if you want
19. Or he will support you from afar if you want to go alone
20. All that matters is that he’s there beside you for the journey
21. He will never let that person near you ever again
22. And if they ever show up
23. His fists will make them regret the day they ever hurt you
You inspired me to write a whole one-shot with some of the hosts! I’ll put that out soon. Thanks for the suggestion, anon :) <3
#ouran high school host club#tamaki suoh#kyoya ootori#haruhi fujioka#hikaru hitachiin#kaoru hitachiin#Mitsukuni Haninozuka#takashi morinozuka#host x reader#host x reader headcanon#tamaki x reader#kyoya x reader#haruhi x reader#hikaru x reader#kaoru x reader#honey x reader#mitsukuni x reader#takashi x reader#host headcanon
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Heliophilia || Yuji/Reader ||
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Sadfic, angst
Relationships: Itadori Yuuji/Reader
Additional Tags: Oh boi do we love not to have plot, Plot is for wimps, Angst, Heavy Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Slight comfort/fluff because the flashbacks are so lovely but other than that, JJK makes me so in my feelings, In my feelings about Yuji, Absolute Angst, Mature because of some detailed sex
Summary: Then why are you hurting me? You wanted to scream back. But you knew — that horrible, sickly type of knowing, like the looming death of a loved one or the scent of a lie — that Yuji was not breaking up with you because he didn’t love you. That wasn’t it.
A/N: I've had this idea in my head for quite a while. I don't know why I'm so obsessed with it! Please tell me if you spot any errors or anything! Might write a companion piece. Read on ao3!
“I’m sorry,” Yuji’s voice fractured, resisting tears. Emotion was so pronounced in his atonement you could feel the pain living in his throat in your own. “I’m so, so sorry, (Y/n) …”
You faced away from him, back turned from him. Your nails bit into the leather of your jacket so. Your face hot, the threat of tears in your eyes, as well. You tried to focus on the blissful white noise of the fountain, pouring forth its waters in elegant streams, and not Yuji’s aching, agonized breathing.
“It all works out, doesn’t it?” You choked. “If you’re really sorry, you can use all this misery to fuel your cursed energy, can’t you? Not a total loss then —“
“Don’t talk like that!”
Yuji gripped your shoulders, forcefully turning you to face him.
“I love you!” he pleaded. “You know that! Don’t you ever say things like that! I love you, I just — I can’t — we can’t —“
Then why are you hurting me? You wanted to scream back. But you knew — that horrible, sickly type of knowing, like the looming death of a loved one or the scent of a lie — that Yuji was not breaking up with you because he didn’t love you. That wasn’t it. Silence stretched between the two of you in the edenic park and it carried the weight of years, filling the agonizing space.
Then why are you hurting me?
I love you but I’m a sorcerer. I love you but I’m Sukuna’s vessel. I love you but everything’s dying around me. I love you but I couldn’t protect Junpei and one day I won’t be able to protect you, either.
You found yourself laser-focused on Yuji’s hands pressed into your shoulders and wanted to prolong his touch. Finally, the tears began to fall, along with a sob that ransacked your lungs. You lowered your gaze to his chest, the urge to sink into him astounding.
“I love you,” Yuji repeated. “Please believe me …”
Please believe me.
I do.
You managed the last remnants of your strength to pull away from Yuji, one last time. You resisted the heavying ache in your chest as Yuji sunk to his knees, hugging yours. You yanked him away, walking away from the fountain.
“Goodbye, Yuji.”
In hindsight, you would never understand how the possibility of it being the final time you ever saw your ex-boyfriend Yuji didn’t bring you running back to him.
But you kept walking.
You flicked the blaring red reject button so hard on your phone it almost fled from your hand, slamming it on the nightstand and sinking back into the grove of sheets.
He wouldn’t stop calling.
It had started that night, having gotten back to your apartment. Thank the gods you lived alone; you broke everything in plain sight. By the time it was over, you were slumped onto the hallway floor, the kitchen floor a sea of broken plate glass, the pillows emptied of their stuffing, vases destroyed. All culminating in your neighbors hurriedly running over, thumping on the door, asking are you okay, we heard crashing, god, we thought there was a fight, are you sure you’re alone? Are you safe? Should we call the cops?
You waved them off best you could, but surely you were not nearly as convincing as you wanted to be with tear-reddened eyes and a croaked voice.
Just a hard time, is all. Just anxiety. I’m going through it, okay? I’ll be fine.
You refused to talk, but that hardly mattered — once it all hushed down, Yuji started.
Messages. Dms. Snapchat. Instagram. Anything he could use you get a hold of you was used to try and talk to you, clear things up, explain. You disabled it all, ironically thankful for the isolation his insistence was situating you in. And somehow you managed to get to sleep that night.
Now, two days later, the ritual was the same. Your phone blared to life, ringing a tone you now thought horrible into the air. You would rush to reject it, slam on nightstand, back to bed.
Rinse, lather, repeat.
You didn’t rise. You didn’t eat. Papers dedicated to different classes sprawled on your office desk, unsure of when you’d be able to get to any of it. Probably never; college seemed such a distant, small thing in the face of losing Yuji, hardly worth a paltry thought in your mind.
Five, afternoon passed. No call. By now, Yuji had to have been persuaded by someone else to stop hounding you — Megumi, probably discouraging him, even taking his phone away from him, maybe.
You’d never know.
Another thought, this one piercing your heart with unexpected ferocity — you even bucked as it arrived to upset you:
Maybe he was dead.
You’d never know.
Whatever relief you had felt as the hour passed into another and no call livened your phone was gone, replaced with grief.
And … longing.
You would’ve done anything to talk to him.
Please, you thought, twisting toward your nightstand, eyeing your phone. Please, call again. I promise I’ll pick up. Yuji …
Your phone did nothing, resting on your stand, black and unresponsive.
The first thing you grew to miss was his voice.
Your mornings would begin with his soft acknowledgment before being accompanied by lips pressed to your forehead — “Morning, (Y/n).” — your evenings full with Yuji, tailing you around the apartment, helping you with chores, telling all about some new show he’d binged over the weekend of some new movie he snuck off to see.
It was … so quiet now. The silence lived in your ears, so pronounced it served as its own sound. After a few days, you felt well enough to at least clean up what you had destroyed. After the chaos you had caused all that remained was a trashed apartment and uncomfortable tranquility.
The process of cleaning bestowed on you a new ache to refresh the others; usually at times like this. Cleaning day, at any normal time in your life —
“And then he picked up the bad guy’s gun,” Yuji continues, absentmindedly clearing the table of trash, dropping items into the large black trash bag.
“Mhm,” you hum back loving, reaching on your tiptoes to dust behind a picture frame. “Yeah?”
“And he shoots the bad guy and he misses,” Yuji awes from behind you, “only he doesn’t miss — they just make us think he misses because when the camera cuts back he’s —“
“Yuji?” you turn to him, eyebrows raised.
Yuji’s cheeks are reddening. “Heh. Sorry, was I rambling again?”
“It’s okay,” You drop the duster to the floor, peck him on the cheek. “Let’s just finish cleaning this table.”
But of course, he doesn’t stop — Yuji is excited and bubbly, especially when he helps you, and his anecdotes from movies, or shows, or sorcerer life, distract you from the grunt work of cleaning day — or any day.
You were miserably aware of the ringing silence, nestled in the space Yuji’s voice used to live as you cleared the table of plastic cups and empty plates all on your own.
The second thing you grew to miss was his kiss.
Yuji had been your first kiss and your lips craved the attention of his.
You were in class, your college professor rambling about some eighteen-hundreds writer while you twiddled your pencil. You bit into your lips hoping to satiate them, but it only worsened your yearning. The classroom began to fall away as memory tugged at your mind.
“(Y/n).”
Yuji’s voice carries your name so tenderly you almost fail to recognize it. You look at him as the first round of fireworks explodes in the summer night’s sky.
“New Year’s Eve, Yu-Yu,” you said, your own soft voice trembling. “Did you make a wish?”
“Wish? Heh, No, but there … is something I wanted to do.”
You part your lips as Yuji eliminates the space between the two of you, inch by cursed inch.
You swallow, letting the moment hang as sparks fly behind Yuji’s head.
“What?” You ask.
But your inquiry dies away as Yuji banishes the final inch.
His lips descend on yours. Soft, warm, sweet. He moves little, tentative, before your arms wrap around his shoulders and invite him closer.
“(Y/n), I —“
You refuse his words, cupping the back of Yuji’s head to re-close the gap between you.
He doesn’t attempt to speak again, pressing you against the railing of the park while his lips caress yours. Fireworks whistle behind you as they combust in the sky, showering down in luculent streams.
His kisses, then and thereafter, are loving, lingering — gentle until they are not; the union of lips dissolves into sloppy angles and reddened lips. Harsh breaths and Yuji bucking into your body, eager for more.
“Miss (Y/n)!”
You jerked. Raised your head.
“I have a hard time believing you’ve not heard your name once these past seven times I’ve called it,” Your professor glared.
No, I haven’t.
“I’m sorry, professor. Repeat the question, please.”
Your hand balled in your fist. You shouldn’t miss him. You shouldn’t miss him.
But you do. And the list of things you’ll miss will only continue to grow.
The third thing you grew to miss was his touch.
You shifted on the couch, painfully aware of the lack of Yuji’s presence at your back, snuggling into you from behind, legs intertwined into yours.
“Yuji …” you giggle. “Stop it …”
“What?” Yuji snuggles the back of your neck before finding his way into your crook. “I’m not even …”
Language dies as the two of you collapse into giggles. The tv plays a movie neither of you hold much interest in now that Yuji’s finds his way into your shirt, tickling the sensitive flesh at your sides.
“Yuji!”
“What?” he patterns your neck with kisses, pressing you closer to him with an armlock around your waist. He is so strong and holds you to him as you squirm.
Finally, you give in, cupping his face with your hand, you bring him in for a kiss. He hums into the kiss and reciprocates immediately, pressing into you properly —
A gunshot from a crime show you left on yanked you into reality. You blinked, sunk into the sheets, letting the tv’s artificial light fall over you.
Reality, where the blankets cannot compare to the boy you have lost.
But the thing you’d miss the most?
Yuji warms his cock inside of you as you burn red, hot lines into his back with your nails. He stains your perspired forehead with kisses as he empties his seed into you. His hips swerve, providing friction to your exhausted clit. You whine into his shoulder, furrowing your brow as your orgasm takes you.
“Ah — ah …! Yuji …!”
Yuji rocks into you a few more times, crescendoing your climax before hooking a hand underneath your knee and rolling in bed so you are side by side. You bite your lip, grind your clit on his strong thigh before settling, resting your head on his shoulder.
The silence is effortlessly serene and comfortable.
But Yuji breaks the silence. “(Y/n)?”
You smile, looking up at him from your place on his chest. “Yeah?”
“I …” he looks away, blush flourishing on his face. “I really love you alot, you know?”
You match his blush with one of your own as your eyes widen. Yuji overcomes some of his embarrassment to caress your cheek with his hand.
“I …” You trail, placing a hand over the one that currently holds your face. “I love you, too, Yuji.”
Even worn from sex, Yuji manages to perk, light coming to his mocha eyes. He smiles back at you.
“That’s good.”
You kiss his cheek, settling by his side for the night.
Yuji is the only warmth you know and the only light you recognize. You allow him to blanket you, shield you from any cold that exists.
“Thanks for that.”
You leaned against the headboard, a thousand-mile stare burning into the wall opposite to you. The aftermath of your sex slumped horribly in your stomach. Your guest zipped up his pants, reaching for his shirt next.
“Yeah,” You replied, absentminded and silent. “Yeah, sure.”
“Next time, okay?”
Your insides screamed to reject but instead:
“Yeah, okay.”
Your one-night stand left, leaving you thudding your head against the headboard. It hadn’t been bad, even unpleasant, it had been … fine. Cold. Impersonal. Impartial. You had never had fine. Not with Yuji.
Yuji, you grieved.
You turned your head to your phone, your hope of Yuji’s call blown out by its perennial blackness.
You clutched a hand to your heart, hollowed out from longing.
His love came last.
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Happy Father's Day
Summary: (1/3) Y/n hasn't told Harry that she is pregnant yet, however, when the day comes around she finds out he's cheating.
Warning: Swearing, Taylor Swift Bashing (I love Taylor don't get me wrong, it's just for the story's sake.)
Word Count: 1492
It's been 5 weeks since I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to tell Harry the moment I found out. I scheduled a doctor's appointment to confirm it because you can't really trust generic pregnancy. But when the doctor confirmed it, I had no idea how to respond.
Hiding this from him has been the hardest thing I've ever done. Harry and I have been together for almost five years now. We met at his twenty-second birthday party in New York, I was twenty. He was pretty upset that he still had to tour for his birthday, but he said it was great making a new friend. Next thing you know we went public after two and moved in together for our third year. I'm so in love with him, but our careers are taking off, a baby would just interfere with all of it however Harry has always wanted children. He'd make such a great dad too, I can only imagine what our family will look like. But these thoughts often consume me, what if he doesn't want this?
I thought Father's Day would be the best day to tell him, you know like a surprise, and what a better time unless of course, he doesn't want our child. Our parents are coming over because of course, we have gifts and brunch so it's like three for one.
I've been distant from him recently, he's so concerned about me he thinks something is terribly wrong with my morning sickness and all. I figured I'd tell him with a gift which is a wooden base with yarn woven letters made of nails that spells 'dad' with the first ultrasound underneath, there's a card too! I'm so excited to finally start a family with Harry, I just hope he feels the same way. I have mugs for each of our dads that say, 'soon to be grandfather'. Honestly, I couldn't be happier. Opening the front door, I place the keys on the table next to me and walk the bags to the living room. That's funny Harry would've greeted me by now? He's probably asleep.
Setting up for later, I bring the balloons over realizing the tablecloths are upstairs. I work my way up the steps. These are gonna be a hassle with an extra 30-40 pounds on me. The closer I get to the top, I hear a light moan.
"I love y/n, she can't know about this" Harry's voice spoke.
Tiptoeing to peak into our bedroom I see my beloved boyfriend, father of my child shirtless kissing a pant-less Taylor Swift. Wow. Just my, fucking luck. Of course, he would! I mean what was I thinking.
"Of course not, my reputation is already bad" she breathes, cupping the side of his face.
I just watch him continue to kiss her after leaning into her touch. Debating whether to go in there, I feel frozen in my steps.
"This doesn't feel right" his deep voice sighs. No shit.
"She doesn't even care about you Harry, isn't that what you told me?" She says sweetly, such a snake.
He sighs and flips them, the scene before me, causes tears to come to my eyes. Opening the door making my presence known Harry turns to me with wide eyes while Taylor scrambles to find her pants and shirt.
"Y/n it's not-"
"I don't want to hear it" I say to him. Irritation and disgust line my voice. Grabbing the table covers I go back downstairs. I have what I need. After looking at my presentation admiring the work I've done. Harry and Taylor both come downstairs. His eyes red and puffy. I swear the tears make his eyes appear more beautiful, I hope my child has his eyes at least.
Astounded by my quiet stature he sits next to me and I stiffen. I'm just quiet because it's keeping me from crying. Taylor stares blankly at the floor.
"Why the fuck are you still here? Leave." I spit at her.
Oh, how I wish I could drink.
The doorbell rings alarming Taylor. I just walk her to the door and invite our parents in "Thank you Taylor" I say sincerely seeing her nod and pull off fast in her car. Tramp.
"What's that about?" Anne ask,
" New music" she smiles and comes in with everyone trailing her steps.
"Harry what's wrong love?" she asks wiping his tears.
"Nothing just allergies mum" she pats his back and sits at the table.
"Five years, I cannot believe it, Harry it's the longest you've had!" Rob states. "And the fans love you Y/n" Anne adds lightly patting my shoulder. "Our little girls all grown up" y/m/n wipes a fake tear from her eye. Everyone laughs. Thank god Harry is next to me so I don't have to look at him. He places his hand in my lap, but I push it off, going unnoticed by the crowd around us.
"Gift time!" I exclaim as he tries again. Placing each one down in-front of them, they all look up slightly confused.
"What's this?" Y/d/n ask.
"Open them, Haz just wait a few seconds after" they all agree. Rob opening his first then y/d/n they look at me then Harry, our moms looks match Harry's as he unwraps his gift. Stunned he looks at me with tears in his eyes. "Y-you're pregnant?"
"Yeah, surprise." Our parents run up to hug us.
"It's about time, I'm getting old over here!" Y/m/n shouts. Once they leave excitedly picking out baby names. I refuse to look at Harry. I make my way upstairs and begin packing some clothing.
"W-what are you doing?" Harry ask quietly.
"What does it look like Harry?" I say pushing past him going to the bathroom and grabbing some necessities. He just leans on the door frame watching me, still refusing to look at him. At first, I cared but I've made up my mind.
"How far along are we?"
"I'm almost 6 weeks but that doesn't matter" trying to walk past him he just grabs my arm and pulls me into him.
"I love you so much," he cries into my neck. I just stand there, motionless "I'm such a fuck up. Please don't leave me. I want to be here for you, for our baby. Y/n please." His hot tears continue to stream onto my shirt leaving a wet patch.
I soon give in rubbing his back gently. "Calm down Harry," I whisper into his ear as his sobs get louder "Breathe, okay."
Sitting on the closest surface near me, today has been long; I'm tired and pregnant give me a break. He stands between my legs looking down at me. I love him I do, and I want the best for our child, but this hurt. The one request I've had is he doesn't cheat, and he did. I stare at my feet avoiding him at all cost until his hand lifts my chin, forcing me to look at him. "I'm not asking you to forgive me, but I am asking you to stay." He states softly placing a random string of hair behind my ear. He slowly starts leaning in I don't stop him. Suddenly feeling nauseous at the thought of him kissing Taylor, I shove him away from me crying.
He tries to hold me, but I just shake my head frantically, "Harry No," I cry. "How could you!? In our house Harry!" I shout. Continuing to pack my things making myself mad at the thought of his hands all over his ex.
"Y/n I'm so sorry please just stop," clothes I need clothes, just for a few days I'll buy more later. Walking into the bedroom opening my laptop ignoring his pleads. I book a hotel for two weeks, until I situate what is happening. He just sits on the bed trying to see what I'm doing but I soon erased my browser history and factory restarted the device so he can't track anything. Let's combine our accounts so our calendars sync. A swell idea. Wiping my tears, I pack outfits for each day that wouldn't show anything to the paparazzi. He sits there with his head in his hand's sharp intakes of breath audible.
As I approach him, he assumes I'm going to touch him, but I simply go into the drawer next to him. Cringing at the thought of him and Taylor who were here not over 6 hours ago, Grasping the more recent black and white photos gently until I get a photo album for them. Contemplating for a minute looking at the small framed version of my uterus I carefully tear one off handing to him before I seal my bag and walk away, taking my keys and loading my stuff in the backseat.
Looking through the rearview mirror, saying a silent goodbye to the home I hoped to raise my child. It'll get better- I hope.
A/n: Hello Loves! This is also a piece I had on wattpad. Most of these posts today will be Wattpad uploads. I'm trying to see which platform suits my work best. Bear with me while I figure Tumblr out. Masterlist coming soon!
xoxo Janelle
#harry#harry styles#harryx reader#y/n#harry styles and y/n#harry styles one shot#harry styles imagine#writing#imagine#oneshot#smut#fanfiction#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles blurb
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i’ve always had the headcanon that neil learns how to pole dance and dan helps teach him and i saw someone else post something similar to it (iconic of them, really) and it made me want to elaborate on my hc
some days, neil wakes up and he can’t stand looking in the mirror
he look in the mirror and despite the scars on his face and hands and the vibrant orange hoodie and the chipped nail polish on his hands, all he sees is his father’s eyes and hair and cold smile
so he usually finds himself at the gym building, blasting music in his ears and facing away from the wall of mirrors as he purposefully overworks himself so he’s too exhausted to care about the cold smile that he knows well
either that or he’s in the basement, hitting a punching bag with taped knuckles and pretending that the canvas is his father’s face, lola’s, romero’s, sometimes even his mother’s
one morning he wakes up at four with the phantom pains of hundreds of knives wracking his body
he can’t go back to sleep, so he heads to the gym and picks the lock to the basement
he’s so caught up in his own head that he walks right past the room full of punching bags and opens the door next to it
despite it being in the basement, the room has the same high ceilings as the upper floors, maybe twenty or twenty five feet
there’s no equipment that neil can see in the dark room, nothing except for the mats covering the floor and four vertical poles bolted to the floor and ceiling
he’s confused at first but then... oh
he’d obviously heard of pole dancing as a sport, he remembered seeing the words on the gym directory
but actually seeing the poles, he was kind of intrigued
but he backed out and went into the right room and ran himself down, and despite heaving on the floor, he felt like he could finally breathe
he was exhausted by the time the exy team started trickling into the main gym to do their workouts, but he honestly didn’t care about the stern talking-to kevin was attempting to administer
over the next week, inexplicably, neil’s mind kept going back to the room with the poles. he found himself watching pole dancing competition videos and tutorials and reading articles on different products that help to stay on the pole
on another one of Those Days, he finds himself purposefully breezing right past the boxing room and opening the door to the pole dancing room
he turns on the light, which is still dim, and walks nervously up to the pole in the far right corner
he’s bad at first. not as bad as he thought he’d be, but still bad. youtube isnt exactly the best coach
but he comes back the next day. and the next. and it eventually becomes a regular thing as he becomes better at it. sometimes, when his school workload isn’t heavy, he spends his free periods between classes practicing.
he never sees anyone else there, no matter what time, and he likes it that way. he gets more confident in himself, eventually ending up stripping down to just his briefs as he learns new moves
he doesn’t tell anyone about it. it’s not that he’s ashamed, but the idea of the ex-mafia kid exy player spending his free time pole dancing? it was a little embarrassing
like andrew knows in general where he is at those times but he doesn’t know/care what neil’s doing there. he guesses its just more things to do with exy
and kevin is suspicious but when is he not
but all in all no one finds out
until
one day it’s like three pm and he had the most annoying argument with the TA and he’s still pissed as he descends the stairs to the basement of the gym, just wanting to dance and blow off some steam
he bursts through the door and stops abruptly as the person whirls around
“dan?”
“neil?”
they both kind of just stand there for a moment before neil’s like “sorry, i was--uh, the boxing room is right next to this one and--”
“you were planning on boxing?”
“uh huh”
“in skinny jeans?” dan raised an unimpressed eyebrow
neil glanced down. he was wearing skinny jeans. “um.”
neil shifts nervously. “what are you doing here? nobody ever goes in here.”
“I was just--” dan pauses. “wait, this is where you’re going when you disappear?”
neil rubs the back of his neck. “kinda, yeah”
“kinda or definitely”
so neil tells her everything, about how he’s been going there for months and teaching himself how to dance and whatnot
dan is highkey impressed and asks him if he wants her to teach him anything
“what?”
“I used to be a stripper, neil.”
“oh. right.”
“no, you’re okay. it’s just... i kind of missed it. not the stripper part, but during the day, when the club was closed and my sisters were teaching me. it didn’t feel like it was for anyone. it was for me....it was liberating.”
neil nods. “i get that”
so dan ends up joining in on his practices more often than not
at first neil’s kinda uncomfortable being so physically exposed around someone that wasn’t andrew
but he finds a weird comfort with dan, both of them in just their undergarments swinging around on poles in a big empty room with music playing out of one of their phones
dan ends up teaching neil a bunch of moves she knows, like how to bend over upside-down and spin with just thighs
“and if you twist like this, it shows off your ass”
they also end up talking a lot, about random things, but dan also tells him a lot about her stage sisters and what her high school life was like and in turn neil ends up talking a bit about his life on the run
they also end up talking a lot about their relationships, like how dan learns that andrew likes to snuggle (dan is astounded) and neil learns that matt sleeps with his socks on (neil is apalled)
some of the foxes notice that dan has joined in with neil’s disappearances and she tells them that she’s teaching him “how to be a captain for you assholes. it’s hard fucking work, i’m giving him seminars about you little shits”
but one day matt comes up to neil during practice and he’s like “hey neil can i talk to you”
and neil’s like “you’re talking to me now”
“no i mean like later”
neil’s like ?? but he agrees
after practice everyone leaves the locker room except for matt
he nervously sits down on the bench so once neil’s done he hesitantly sits next to him
“what’s up?”
matt’s acting shifty and weird and isn’t look at neil’s face
“so um, i need you to be honest with me, okay? and i know you wouldn’t do this, but i’ve been having doubts and i just--” matt sighs. “is dan cheating on me with you?”
neil is... absolutely pissed
“what the fuck?!”
“i mean, like, you guys have been disappearing off on your own and then you come back sweaty and flushed--”
“we work out together”
“but she’s always smiling and content after!”
“i literally have a partner”
“that doesn’t stop a lot of people, neil”
“don’t you remember that i don’t swing? dan’s like my sister, matt” neil is surprised when he says it and finds that he’s being truthful. “dan loves you. she’d never hurt you like that. stop selling yourself short.”
matt nods and neil leaves
the next time dan and neil practice together, the next day, dan asks him about matt and neil tells her everything
“i think he’s just paranoid that you’re leaving at the end of the year” neil spins around and hooks his ankles around the pole
“yeah... i’ll talk to him” dan sighs and wraps an arm around the pole and hoists herself up a few inches
“if you’re fine with it, he can come to our next practice”
“you’re sure?” a few weeks ago, neil had told dan how insecure he was about his scars and they both enjoyed the privacy they had at the practice room
“yeah. it’s just matt”
they twirl around for a while, soft music playing from dan’s phone, the artist singing something about being sorry that she fell in love with someone while they were in a hotel room
“what about your boy?” dan asks
“what about him?”
“does he ever doubt you?”
neil shrugs, as well as he can while upside down “we trust each other”
dan thinks for a minute. “are you going to show andrew too?” dan motions to the room with her foot. “i’m fine with it if you are”
so later that day, back at the dorm, neil turns in his bean bag and asks andrew if he wants to come to his and dan’s next practice
andrew replies with a “not particularly”
“don’t you want to see what we do?”
“not really. you don’t ask me to watch renee and i spar.”
“yeah but that’s cause it your guys’ thing. also, dan and i definitely don’t spar”
“it’s still your thing.”
“i wouldn’t ask you to come if i didn’t want you to”
andrew looked at him before saying “you’re insufferable.” neil knew that meant he’d be there
so the next day finds dan and neil leading matt and andrew down their familiar basement path
andrew shows no reaction to the poles except for a quirk in his left eyebrow (neil knows he’s very surprised)
matt, on the other hand, says “this is what you guys have been doing?”
neil nods and takes his shirt and pants off, which leads to another shocked sound out of matt and another raised eyebrow from andrew. (that’s both raised eyebrows. neil’s never done that. he takes it as an achievement. andrew’s eyes tell him not to read too much into it. neil smirks)
andrew leans up against one of the untouched poles as neil talks to matt about liquid chalk as dan takes her own clothes off
matt sits down on the edge of a mat as they start practicing. after a few minutes neil almost forgets that there are two more people in the room than usual, the only giveaway being andrew’s sharp eyes never leaving him and matt’s amazed “ooh”s and “ahh”s
after the alarm on dan’s phone beeped to tell them that their hour and a half were up, matt stood up as the two stepped away from their poles
neil started pulling on his clothes as matt went “I--um--that’s--that was--”
neil picks up his bag and starts walking toward the door, knowing that andrew’s following
“don’t fuck near my pole” he calls, and he can hear dan laugh as he shuts the door
andrew is silent all the way to the dorm
later on the roof, he asks “why?”
neil sighs. “it makes my mind quiet. suspended like that, fifteen feet in the air, the only thing that’s keeping me from falling is me. it’s not like exy, where I have to rely on my teammates. It’s... it’s finding trust in my body.” he looks down at him scarred hands, at the one interlaced with andrew’s. “also my father would never pole dance. neither would my mom. god, she’d be so pissed.”
neil smiles
“what do you think about it?” neil asked as andrew took another drag on his cigarette
“it doesn’t matter what i think”
“it matters to me.”
“I hate you.”
“mmhm. don’t i know it.”
they were quiet as they watched the sun slowly dip over the horizon
“you’re more flexible than i thought”
“what’s that supposed to mean”
“it means i liked it. you are as confident at pole dancing as you are at playing exy.”
“are you telling me that you like when i play exy?”
“shut up. yes or no?” he flicks aside his cigarette at neil’s yes
a few days later, matt apologizes to neil for his assumptions. he ends up convincing neil and dan into entering a pole dancing competition that takes place a few weeks after the championship game
they end up winning third place
(the competition was recorded and put on youtube. neil’s proud. he catches andrew watching the video more than once)
(when kevin finds out about it he practically combusts and tells neil how bad it is for his exy career and what will pro teams think blah blah blah neil doesn’t care)
after dan graduates, neil and her keep up their practices through facetime
the next year they’re able to win first place
#can you tell that i'm fascinated by pole dancing??#neil josten#dan wilds#matt boyd#andrew minyard#andreil#matt boyd x dan wilds#aftg#aftg hc#andreil hc#all for the game headcanon#pole dancing is so cool i want to know how to do it so badly#why do i have to live in a town of bigots??#i just think its neat#Also the song I mentioned is 'is there somewhere' by halsey if anyone is interested in knowing#I love Matt but I also think that he's still insecure about being with an actual goddess#This has nothing to do with the post but I hc that Dan proposes to Matt
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😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🤯🤯😭😭😱😤😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🤬🤬🤬🤬😭 What did you think of the episode? I always look forward to reading your thoughts.
Yep. Your emojis pretty much sum it up, don't they? LOL. I think the episode is decent in terms of quality, it was well-paced, very dramatic, the acting from Hande and Kerem was astounding, but watching it was just like constantly toggling between pain and fury, and that is not that fun.
Part of me wants to say it was a well written episode, because it definitely made me feel and I thought it flowed well, but part of me wants to say it was terribly written because the number of contrivances and character assassinations (spoiler alert, I don’t list Serkan in that number) that had to occur to set it up is way too much. So maybe I'll settle on that the episode was well written, but the nonsense they needed to make it work was hackneyed.
This was the first time I cursed the 2+ hour format. On shows I'm used to, if an episode is hard to take, you just have to suck it up for 42 minutes, 2+ hours was a lot of sucking it up. My apologies in advance if I curse a LOT. I think I'm going to approach this by giving my take on each character in turn. I'll start with the characters on the shit list and it will go from shittiest to slightly less shity. Characters not on the shit list are down below. (spoiler alert: Serkan and Eda are safely on the NOT shit list)
(Keep reading below the cut)
CHARACTERS ON SHIT LIST
Selin - WTF? I've thought she was a huge, pathetic turd since episode 18, and I thought she left in a disgraceful way, siccing psycho Balca on him, and it was frustrating that she never had to answer for any of her psycho moves, but this is a new level of crazy, bitter, fucked up that I could not have imagined for her. The writers really said: how can we make her the worst person ever? Plot wise, at least they made it make sense why he would call her. The last time period he remembers, she was his girlfriend. I get it, and I think I get why they did it. As I've said before, if amnesia Serkan wakes up and finds this amazingly beautiful woman standing over him, and finds out she's his fiancé, even if he doesn't remember her it's not the worst thing in the world. They decided, I suppose, to make their journey back together that much harder and earned. They wanted him in the least receptive frame of mind when he met the amazingly beautiful woman. Enter Selin to manipulate and poison his mind. And lose any last shred of dignity she might have retained from the first time around.
Is there anyone who didn't want to slap the shit out of her every single second she appeared on screen? I have no idea where she got the confidence this episode. The only saving grace is the bitch is going down hard. Piril and Ferit both tried to warn her, as did Eda, but it's not going to be pretty for her. And the only thing I hope is that she actually pays some sort of price other than the utter emotional devastation and humiliation she's going to get. Frankly, I think she should be charged with kidnapping since she was hiding someone with diminished capacity that was the subject of a missing persons case. (Aydan can go down with her for not reporting it) Outside of soap operas, that is criminal. However, I doubt any of that will happen, she'll just slink off once she's found out and Serkan turns on her.
Aydan - WTF? I don't think any of us predicted she'd be a villain this episode, and this is the first of the character assassinations that was required to make the plot work. First, her son was in a plane crash, and is recovering from severe injuries, she gets a call from Selin and she doesn't grab Eda and catch the first plane to where he is? He has amnesia and she thinks he's able to make rational, proper decisions? So she just respects his wishes not to be disturbed and leaves him with his obsessed ex-girlfriend? Who is this woman? Not Aydan. For the first 16 episodes she didn't give a damn about what Serkan wanted, she imposed her will on him and even though he resisted, she never lost him. She thinks she's going to lose him by flying to his bedside and bringing the love of his life? This makes no sense. Second, she allows devastated Eda to continue being in the AGONY of not knowing what happened to Serkan??? FUCK OFF, AYDAN. But again character assassination required to see it work.
The one thing that's sort of in character, I think, is her hedging her bets with Selin and Eda. I've always said her acceptance of Eda was born out of self-interest. True, she saw how devastated Serkan was when they broke up and she wanted him to be happy, but mostly because she found out he was moving away from her and she thought she was losing him. She's a shrewd woman and she saw that the path to keeping him was Eda, so she got on the Eda train. I do think she genuinely cares for Eda, but if the Selin engagement lasts more than a couple days I could see her not fighting it like she should. Because where was she this episode in trying to get through to him? I get that everything happened over two short days, but she could have tried harder to talk sense into him and to probe for what Selin was feeding him. And she could have questioned Selin a whole helluva lot more.
Piril - WTF? What is with Serkan's best friends just accepting Selin back into the fold under these circumstances? How is Piril not furious that Selin knew her good friend and business partner was alive and didn't tell her??? Selin let Piril and Engin continue to mourn him and think he was dead when he was alive, and Piril is calling her her good friend? WHAT THE FUCK? I'm not sure if this is character assassination because Piril is a bit of an odd ball, but this is assassination on just basic human reactions. Who wouldn't be furious? Who wouldn't be repulsed and incensed that she tried to move in on a brain-damaged man who had been about to marry someone else?
Piril doesn't even need to be his best friend or to have participated in all his wedding festivities to know that's fucked up. How was Piril not screaming "BITCH YOU BE CRAZY" at her? Like it takes Olympic level handwaving to accept Piril's conversation with Selin. Especially since she knows Selin wanted to ruin his happiness at all costs! Yes, she at least brought up the subject and very weakly said "You know we all know they are very much in love" and warned her that things might end badly, but it should have been a helluva lot stronger than that, and she should have been furious.
Ayfer - She actually didn't do much this episode, which is the problem, because she also did very little to support Eda. TBH, I can't stand her to begin with so she makes it to this spot on the list, above people who should have been better.
Engin - He gets a few points for telling Serkan the story and trying to bring it up again, however, he just always stopped shy from actually defending Eda or really probing for what Selin told Serkan. Again, there's a short timeline, and maybe he's planning to do it and not overwhelm Serkan, which isn't a bad thing. I just don't feel like he relayed how happy Serkan became after he met Eda. Though, to be fair, I sort of get why we didn't get really heartfelt testimonials for Eda, we want Serkan to start to fall for her again without being told to. I think they're going for a situation where Selin is the only voice in his ear, poisoning him against Eda, but even under those odds, he'll fall for her again.
But his interactions with Serkan are not why he's on the shit list. He makes this list for just seemingly accepting Selin back and not voicing any concerns over her UTTERLY, PSYCHO, BIZARRE, eFFED UP behavior. Everything I said about Piril applies here. How is he okay that she kept the news of Serkan's survival from his best friend and business partner? Engin was the person Serkan confided in, he knows how he felt about both of those women. How is he not calling Selin out to her face?? So I don't need his friends to be in his ear telling him how much he loves Eda, but I do need them in his ear poking holes in the nonsense Selin is telling him and setting him straight on the state of their relationship when the plane went down. And I need them to be calling Selin out to her face.
Erdem - He remains on the shitlist for gargantuan dumbassery not committed this episode.
Ferit - Ferit is low down on the shit list, but he still makes it for once again not coming down HARD on Selin. As her ex-fiancé he's in a unique position to call her out, and while he did issue her a warning, trying to soften it in terms of him not wanting her to get hurt was weak and ineffective and it feels like maybe he is still harboring feelings for her. UGH. Man, stop it! What is attractive about this bitter, manipulative psycho? Get in there and battle her on her own terms. Threaten her with the truth, push her, make her feel pushed into the corner so she gets reckless. Threaten to tell Serkan in front of her about the conversation you overheard that made you decide to leave her at the wedding table. Do something, and make it not for her own good.
NOT SHIT LIST
Leyla - Little she could have done, in light of her relationship with one year ago Serkan, but it would be nice if at some point she gets some sort of dig in at him, "You were a better person after you met Eda."
Seyfi - It seemed like he was in the dark about Serkan being alive, Aydan must have kept it from even him, so he can be on this list. (Again Aydan would never keep it from Seyfi, so more OOC from her)
Deniz - So far he seems like a genuine, not psycho guy. He might be harboring feelings for Eda, but he didn't do anything creepy and was genuinely there for her more than almost anyone else. Did anyone catch the vibe between him and Ceren when she was leaving his shop? Ceren wasn't even mad at Ferit at that point, but there was a definite... charged moment. However this show does that from time to time, remember when Fifi seemed to have a weird tension-y moment with what's his name, Babaanne's bodyguard in one of his first episodes? That never surfaced again.
Ceren - She was trying her best to be there for Eda.
Melo - She was trying her best to be there for Eda.
Sirius - Good boy! You know who your mama is.
Serkan - Look, Serkan was a grade A asshole (you were right, Kerem) this episode. However, I have so much sympathy for him. He is a VICTIM. The man was in a plane that went down, had injuries including a traumatic brain injury, and lost the last year of his life. He appeared to be having some sort of PTSD with the nightmares. (Also thank you jebus he's sleeping on the cabin couch and that witch was going to her own home at night in Istanbul). It's natural he called the person who he thought was his girlfriend. He was not to know that she's an evil psycho who was going to brainwash him. She is manipulating him, and I'll say it again, he is her victim. Also, I know lots of people think he was out of character and more harsh than he was in the pilot. He definitely was harsher than the pilot, but I don't think he was out of character. In this episode, think of him as episode 3 Robot Bolat, but throw in having amnesia, experiencing trauma, being brainwashed by someone he trusts, and suffering from PTSD.
It's a lot. He was so overwhelmed. I say episode 3 Serkan, because that's when Serkan realized he was starting to fall in love with Eda and it caused him to freak the fuck out and he was so cruel to her. He was a grade A asshole then too and we had that again, but heightened, in this episode. Sounds like he had these inklings of feelings before he even came back (he told Engin) that he didn't know what they were, but clearly they confused and frightened him, just like in episode 3. This is a man who doesn't believe in love. So to find out that he not only fell in love, but he fell so hard he became someone he doesn't recognize, I think made him recoil even faster and further, especially after Selin had brainwashed him into thinking he was manipulated into it by a bad person. So every time that Eda came near him and it affected him, whether it was physically like his heart, or that ineffable pull he felt, it made him retreat to a robotic defensive position. He didn't understand the feelings, they confused him and Selin made him fear them. Plus you add in how emotional Eda was, including the slap, and it was more than he could handle.
It was enjoyable to watch the moments where Eda affected him, (kudos Kerem because you could see it on his face). However, those moments just pushed him into a corner, so he retreated to the place he thought was safe, which is Selin. He said it to Engin, in his retrograde amnesia mind, everything had changed but her (little does he know). It's interesting that the few flashes of Eda he had were from very early episodes. So he's not flashing to when he was fully in love with Eda, and was sure of his own heart and mind. He's flashing back to when he first started falling in love and was also scared, confused and felt out of control. And remember he's a control freak. So I'm sure that a taste of those wild, exciting, out-of-control, confusing first feelings are also fueling his current crazed state of mind.
And that's how the events unfolded, with that state of mind. When Eda kissed him, he felt it, and it scared the crap out of him. And he said it right there in the moment, he wasn't going to let her "confuse" him, and he was going to put an end to it. And that's what he did, try to put an end to those very confusing feelings for a person he's been told is trying to manipulate him and take advantage of him. So to make the out-of-control feelings stop, the robot malfunctioned and did the one thing he thought would get Eda to stop pushing him and shut all of it down. He proposed to the person who currently represents safety and for whom there are no confusing, wild, uncontrolled feelings. He doesn't love Selin, so there are no scary emotions attached. But did you see him when he made that speech? He was confused, and stuttering, and stumbling and looked dazed af. That's someone in acute crisis. And that shot of his face when he's hugging Selin? He looks like someone just shat on his head. Could he be more miserable? Poor baby.
Eda - THE REAL POOR BABY! And the other victim in all this. Hande knocked it out of the park! She was so good. How many times did she break me this episode? A bunch. I loved that Eda was unwavering in her belief that Serkan was alive, even though everyone else had given up (except Aydan the lying sack of shit). I'm glad we know that Eda was so upset she wasn't leaving her room or eating, but I'm also glad we didn't see that. It's enough to know she started out devastated without the viewer having to wallow in it in an already upsetting episode, it was a smart move to immediately time jump 2 months. However, she wouldn't be Eda if she wasn't able to pick herself up and do what needed to be done. Which in this case was take care of Sirius, take over the firm, and keep track of the manhunt for Serkan. That's a lot on her plate, and of course she thrived.
It was nice the whole company was behind her when she brought home the award, too bad they couldn't have backed her up like that when it came to Selin! (pick a side, Piril!) They all need to stop acting like it's normal what Selin did! It's not normal!!!! Stop normalizing it and her! It felt like Eda was being gaslit at times, like none of the people Serkan remembered cared that Selin had obviously been preying on someone sick and injured and with diminished mental capacity. Why were they all like that!?!?! I know, because if they’d reacted like a normal person would, Selin couldn’t have continued the charade.
I was wondering how their first meeting would go down and Eda fainting seems entirely appropriate. And of course, he caught her without even knowing it's his job, “If you fall, I’ll catch you.” *sob* Eda pulling out the old classics to get him to remember was the best. Even through the pain and fury, I thoroughly enjoyed many of those moments. I, along with everyone, was thrilled to see the handcuffs back. Good move, Eda! And they fell right back into bickering and bantering. Though I think they should have taken his car, because all their memories are driving together in that car.
Bless her heart, she was doing everything to jog his memory, and I applaud that. But on one hand I think maybe she made a critical error in being so emotional (not that she could help it) because he was really freaked out by her, and I know she had been put through the wringer and Serkan not remembering her was the blow to end all blows, but she sort of lost it during that first meeting. And he was so overwhelmed that of course he shut all the way down. The truth is it's not his fault he had amnesia, he's a victim. She's totally entitled to those feelings, and the anger at him and the situation and the universe, but in trying to get through to him the heightened emotion might have been a critical error, because he just wasn't receptive to listening to her after that. On the other hand, that's how their relationship has been from the start. She's emotional and spontaneous and fiery and he navigates it. So one might hope it would spark something that he would remember.
Same thing goes for the confrontation at his house. He was such a dick, and she broke my heart, but she was so overwrought that I don't think Serkan of a year ago, who has now been traumatized and manipulated, could handle it and it caused him to become the worst version of himself. Again I don't fault Eda, most of us would have collapsed due to the sheer weight of what she'd been through, but her approach, coming in hot, did fuel the situation and I can see how Serkan got to that emotional place.
At least they gave me one thing I asked for! The password. Serkan, maybe stop saying it's something you would never do, when you demonstrably did it. You bought her a star and then the coordinates were your password. At some point your brain needs to put two and two together here. But actually I want him to check and see that he really did name a star after her. Her stealthily leaving so she didn't have to give it to him, and thus not be able to change the password, was great.
As for the last scene, girlfriend was looking FIIIIINE when she walked in that restaurant and boyfriend was having to command himself to stop looking at her. The kiss was a big swing, but she had to try and I'm sure we all wanted to hug her when he malfunctioned and did a crazy thing out of sheer panic.
We, along with Eda, were put through the wringer this episode, but we survived and it can't get worse... okay nevermind, I'm not going to say that. Instead I'll just say, it WILL GET BETTER. There will be a reward for this pain. It's coming. We will see his awakening feelings in the next episode, I know it! Just hang on!
#Sen Çal Kapımı#Sen cal kapimi#edser#serkan bolat#eda yildiz#sckask#sck episode discussion#edser discussion#sck 1x29#asklizac#anonymous#Anonymous
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Young Just us college au
Rent a room, Dick said. It’ll be a nice experience. Don’t just buy a flat, that’s boring and lonely.
Tim had tried to tell his brother that maybe he prefered lonely to crazy, but Dick had insisted. And everyone knew just how difficult dealing with that could be, so he knew better than to resist.
At least, he had tried to comfort himself, he knew the people he’d be rooming with. They were all his friends, an odd assortment of assholes he’d picked up on school, summer camps, vacation trips, scientific events, even comic cons, and just… fell platonically in love with them.
Maybe, as Dick said, it would be fine.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
No, it wasn’t fine.
-Jay -he whispered into the phone, hoping he wouldn't be heard by the others on the other side of the door- Jay, they are crazy. I need extraction asap. We could fake my death and I can go to University somewhere else.
The older man laughed in the other end of the receiver, the sound of pages rustling indicating Tim had caught him during his daily grading paper sesion. That was the sound of crying students dying over carefully demolished arguments.
-They are all your friends, Timbo. If you fake your death, you’ll need to start over again and meet new people.
Tim hissed.
-Exactly, babybird. Also, this is day one of sharing a house, how bad can it possibly be?
-Jay, they left the kitchen lights on. It’s daytime! Why the hell do they need the lights on? Aren’t they aware of how big the bill is gonna be if they are like this?
-...Timmy, you… you are a billionaire. I think that should be the last of your concerns.
-That’s not the only thing. It’s so noisy, Jay. I choose the attic room hoping it’ll be nice and quiet. It’s not. I can hear everything. What do I do if some of them pair up? I’ll be stuck here listening to them having sex forever!
-...I don’t know where to begin.
-You can start by contacting B for me. He was right when he said it wasn’t a good idea for me to live with other people. But I can’t call him to help me out of this, because I think Dick blocked my number in his phone, and my emails don’t seem to be reaching him.
-He said it because you are the purest of his children, and he knew college was corruptive enough without adding dorm sharing to it; that was his version of helicopter parenting. But Timbo, it’s moving day. You’ve been there for less than five hours. And you already emailed B?
-The first thing Slobo did when he came in was to fart. In the middle of the living room. I can’t live with them, they are animals!
-They are your best friends, you’ve known them forever.
-But I never had to deal with them in a closed space for an unlimited amount of time!!! I’m trapped here.
-...
-...!
-...Are you hiding in a closet?
-...no. That would be stupid, in a three story house where I have my own/
-You are, ain’tcha?
-I am. Please help me?
Long sigh- I’ll meet you for coffee on the place near the Economics building so you have an excuse to be out for the evening while the others finish their moving. You’re done with your part, right?
-Yes! Thank you!
-You owe me.
-Next time Dick wants bonding time, I’ll sacrifice myself volunteering so you can run.
-And this is why you’re my favorite. Be there in ten.
-.-.-.-.-.-
-Tim? Tim! Here you are!
Blinking was a thing Tim suddenly remembered he needed to do, and he did it a few times as his eyes were dragged away from his book by a pair of hands on his cheeks.
-Kon? What are you doing in the library?
The other boy was panting slightly, flushed from what Tim guessed was a desperate run there.
-I was looking for you! You never came back after classes were done for the day, and you didn’t pick up your phone. We were very worried, dude.
-I was just studying, chill.
-It’s almost midnight.
No, it couldn’t be.
-No, it isn’t. I haven’t been here that long.
Serious and slightly worried, Conner thrusted his own phone in Tim’s face and… uh. Look at that. It was nearly midnight.
-Oh. Got distracted with research, sorry.
-It’s been barely two weeks, how much can you possibly need to study?
Unprompted, Kon started to help him pack his books and papers. He seemed utterly amazed by the almost illegible graphs and charts.
-No, this isn’t homework. I’m working on a thing for WE…
The rest of the way home was spent with Tim talking Conner’s ear off about shit he had absolutely no idea about, but didn’t complain, just holding Tim’s backpack with one hand while steering his sleep deprived friend back home with the other.
-.-.-.-.-.
-Bart? -Tim yawned, getting into the kitchen and raising a confused eyebrow at his friend- It’s… three am. What are you doing awake?
-Stress baking -the smaller boy replied, never stopping stirring the bowl- You?
-Papers and presentations.
-Classes or WE?
-Bit of both. What are you making?
-Cupcakes. Want some?
-They’ll go great with coffee, thanks.
They spent the next half hour waiting for the oven to do its magic talking about video games, classes and evil teachers.
-Your brother is the worst. TA. Ever. He always grades my papers and he’s a bitch about them.
-He relishes in the pain. It’s what keeps him young. I swear he never grew past fifteen.
-It’s scary, and honestly so annoying. Like, I get pointing out mistakes, but he doesn’t need to be a passive aggressive ass about it.
-I’ll let him know what you think.
-Please don’t. I’m afraid of him, and the power he holds in his hands. The power to make me fail Creative Writing.
-Why are you even taking that class? Actually, what even is your major?
A shrug, and before Bart could open his mouth to reply, the timer let them know the cupcakes where done.
-You can have one before bedtime, dude. The circles under your eyes look like make up at this point.
-You are one to talk, mister Stress Baking at Three in the Morning.
-But unlike you, I don’t have to be up at the ass of dawn. C’mon, have one of these and back up you go.
-Bite me.
-I’d rather bite this peanut butter miracle, but if you insist…
-No! Bart, get away from me!
-Then go to bed!
-Go to hell!
-I AM in hell! I have Jason Fucking Todd as my TA!
-IF YOU DON’T GO BACK TO BED RIGHT NOW, I’LL KICK YOU BOTH ALL THE WAY THERE! -Cassie’s voice echoed in the walls, and they both blanched at the reminder that her room was, in fact, in ground floor.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
A part of college Tim had never considered, let alone readied himself for, was the… party bit.
-What do you mean, of course you’re coming -laughed Anita, clutches firm on Tim’s sleeve as she dragged him into hers and Cassie’s room.
-No, I have to study for…
-You don’t have any midterm or final this week. I know, because I checked. No papers due either. This is literally the perfect time for you to party.
-I can’t, I…
-Suck at socializing? Yeah, cher, I’m aware. That’s why awesome me is taking you as my plus one for this party. No need to thank me, glad to be your social buffer whenever you need me.
Tim started to resist in earnest when they got into the room and he caught a glimpse of the clothing Anita had apparently chosen for him.
-There’s no way I’m fitting into those pants! Let me go!
-I’ve seen you squeezing your butt into the vent that one time when Kon threw the key to the coffee maker cabinet inside it. If you could get in there, these pants are a piece of cake.
-No!
-Don’t make me hurt you, Drake.
-Anita…!
-Ugh! -she stopped, dropping Tim on her bed and crossing her arms. She averted her eyes- My ex is gonna be at the party. I might have been exaggerating a bit when I said I was over him, but I already promised my friends I was gonna be there. I… could really use your help here. I know it’s not your scene, but Kon and Bart have midterms, Slobo would straight up punch my ex with his astounding lack of subtlety, Miguel is away dealing with family stuff, and the girls are awesome but not really what I need right now.
A pause.
-Okay, but I’m absolutely not putting on that crop top. And we better not end up wasted, I have a reputation to uphold.
Spoiler alert: he did put on the crop top. And they had to call Conner to walk them home after the third time Tim walked into a lamp post and Anita fell into the campus’ pond.
-.-.-.-.-
They were walking back home late on a Friday when they were approached by a group of stupid, drunk dudebros. Tim was already dreading the moments to come before they even spoke, just by the way they kept eyeing Cassie’s legs and Anita’s rack. Cissie herself was wearing loose pants and a sweater, so she was safe from their disgusting examination. Not that it kept her from crossing her arms and looking down at the assholes.
-Heyyyyy, ladies. Wanna go clubbing with us?
Tim shrugged- He’s talking to you, girls. I’m out. Have fun.
Cassie caught him by his hoodie before he could take a single step. He heard her warning clear as day and sighed, defeated.
-Yess, you can go -slurred Dudebro number two, waving him away- There’ three of us, and three of those pretty things. You can get lost.
-See, Cass? Hear the gentlemen. You don’t need me here.
Anita kicked him in the shin.
-No. We just got our nails done. You either solve this peacefully, or take care of it if it turns dirty. Why do you even walk us home if not to protect us from creepers like these?
A loud ‘hey’ came from the dudebros, but Tim ignored them. Silently, he pointed at Cassie’s legs (he had seen her crushing a watermelon between them once), Cissie’s arms (a thing of beauty that made multiple lesbians all around campus cry) and Anita’s katana (that she wasn’t supposed to keep on her person around other students, but who was gonna enforce any rules on the girl with the giant knife?).
-Excuse me? You three should be protecting me. I’m a rich, sheltered boy.
Apparently done being ignored, the three idiots decided this was a good time to throw the first punch. Which Tim dodged, without breaking eye contact with Cassie. She raised her eyebrow, not moving an inch. Cissie was examining her nails. Anita’s eyes promised hell.
He sighed, turned around, caught the second coming punch, and used the hand under his palm to force the dudebro to his knees. A knee to the face and then he turned to the other two.
Next time, Slobo was walking with them.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Flip side: the attic room had its own bathroom. Significantly smaller than the ones on the other two floors, but hey, no sharing.
The downside: apparently, the bathroom vents all connected with one another, and because of their aligning schedules, he often took showers at the same time Miguel did.
Flip side: Miguel had the singing voice of an angel, and the acoustic was fantastic. Showers were rarely boring now.
Downside again: Tim often forgot himself and sang along, but his voice… wasn’t as pretty.
Flip side again: at least, judging by Miguel’s smile, he found it adorable rather than pathetic.
Downside number three: Greta and Cissie’s room, by some unsolved mystery, also had connecting vents to the bathroom, and the archer girl was… less charitable about Tim’s inability to sing.
Flip side: Greta liked him better than most of their house mates, and she had more than enough dirt on Cissie to keep her from sharing the secret of Tim’s awful voice.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
-Hey, baby bird. Sorry I’m calling just now, it’s been a while.
-Hey Jay. Don’t worry, you’re busy grading papers.
-How do you know?
-Bart was crying in the tub this morning. Completely clothed and eating nachos with whipped cream, I might add.
-What is that boy even studying? I know he has Chem classes, Roy is his TA, and Kory saw him in the designer’s building.
-That is an unsolved mystery for the ages.
-Hey, speaking of your housemates, how’s it going?
Tim stopped on his way out of the kitchen, eyes growing fond as he examined the group on the living room. They were fighting over that night’s movie choice. He didn’t know why they tried, Greta was gonna win. Nobody could resist her and Miguel’s puppy eyes.
-It’s… it’s been great, actually.
-Uh huh.
-But don’t tell Dick. He’ll be unbearably smug.
-Of course I won’t. You still have that time I crashed B’s favorite car on me.
-Oh, Oh fuck! -came Slobo’s voice- TIM, BRING THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!
A loud crash. Tim winced, eyes leaving his friend in favor of the wall. If he didn’t see it, it wasn’t happening.
-TIM, BUD, WE NEED SOME HELP HERE!
-...what was that, Timbo?
-Nothing.
-TIM, TIM, THE TV IS ON FIRE!!! COME QUICKLY BEFORE IT REACHES THE XBOX OR SO HELP ME GOD I’M MURDERING EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM!
-...Tim?
-Don’t tell B.
-Gotcha. Going to save their lives?
-More like hiding in my room until they sort themselves out or die. Good luck on those papers.
-Good luck on surviving.
#my writting#young justice fanfiction#young just us#college au#tim drake#amanda conner#kon el kent#Bart Allen#cassie sandsmark#Cissie King-Jones#Greta Hayes#Anita#Slobo#Miguel#Jason Todd#teen titans#Jason is a TA at college#so is Roy#Jason is a good bro#Dick grayson#Bruce wayne#civilian au#no powers au#their friendship is PRECIOUS#Tim is sleep deprived because of course he is#What is Bart even studying#who knows#Tim is a rich sheltered boy
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Do not date your boss, ladies
This writing is still being perfective to represent my view point entirely.
Do not date your boss, ladies
Your ex did not like you, and that is okay. Not everyone is meant to work out in the long run. It hurts, its going too, but time will aid all wounds. Sending them that last text, pouring out your heart in every wistful analogy to explain your depth of gratitude for them will not change their mind or perception of you. If it helps ease your own suffering, or temporarily takes up a space of you mind to not think about them, here is my story on my bad decision that was made in just a short amount of time.
I have been in a deep rut for days; it feels like I could never get out of this heartbreak. I still struggle at times to accept reality, but that is all okay as we are only creatures with extraordinary socialization capabilities, we are prone to have hiccups. I have no idea how I manage to let someone inflict such psychological torment upon myself in such a short amount of time.
I had made a mistake, I dated someone who had no intentions on making it work, even worse, he was my boss. He would act like it was burden upon himself to send me at least one text every other day to acknowledge my existence. As his own words, “I like being alone.” I remember how debilitating it made me feel. I was so hurt that this person that I wanted nothing more than to work things out with him. It hurt so bad to be treated as if I was nothing but just a temporary play toy. At least, from his last communication interaction with me supported my analogy. As I quote from his last message, “And I’m not sure. The sex was good, but I didn’t really feel a deeper connection.”
So, to start off, yes, he was my boss, my postmaster. I was an RCA in a little office in a rural town, not allot of development in the area. I remember when he first transferred to my office, I noticed how he was very keen on insuring his car was in perfect condition after witnessing a fellow carrier park beside him. I mention to the carrier what I witnessed and sighed of annoyance exhaled from him at the possibility of another uptight postmaster. I do not remember the exact witty comment they made, but it was one that was not optimistic about our new supervisor.
I remember when I first had a conversation with him, I was struck back a little because he was attractive. Well-trimmed beard, uptight hair, kind of reminded me of a fuckboy. I was married, going through a divorce, so of course I did not try to immediately take notice to him. However, it was not until a couple of months later that I started developing any feelings for him. I am still not sure why I did. It started with these weird dreams when he first moved to the office, these very strong, passionate dreams, one that lead to, ugh, marriage. These dreams plagued me repeatedly, every week, for several months. Eventually I started getting a little embarrassed by them that I would wake up in the middle of the night to try and wash myself clean. I stupidly thought it was a sign from some supernatural being that this might be the one, so I took a chance a couple of months later and asked him out through his work phone, ugh…
First, I led hints to a coworker that I trusted, that I had a crush on the boss. She thought it was funny and teased me about it because he could be, pardon my French, he could be a straight up piece of shit. She bugged him while I was away, hinting at him that I liked him. According to her, he became red in the face and started deviating plans on how he could sneak such a forbidden work relationship. She told his positive reaction, and I messaged him later that evening. I immediately received a text back from him from his personal cell number to admitting he liked me too. I was astounded, I did not suspect my boss would actually agree to taking a risky proposition at dating me.
Do not get me wrong, I was overcome with joy that he wanted to reciprocate my feelings of intimacy. So we chat constantly all that week on date ideas and eventually that Friday, we went for drinks. He picked me up at my apartment and we went to a local brewery. When I think back on it now, it was kind of weird that I actually did that, haha. Anyways, he was extremely sweet to me that night. I got a little to tipsy, but he did not seem to mind. I got to make out with him for a bit before he dropped me back off at home, kind of felt like a bad girl for kissing my boss. So we agreed to hang out again the next following day, at his place after I got off work. The first thing he does when I got there was to get out wine, guess he needed to ease his own tensions. Obviously, I was disgusting and slept with my boss. However, after that night, he dropped me off the face of the earth communication wise. I brushed it off, stupidly, thinking that he just might be busy. I would force conversations with him when no one was around, and we would continue to meet-up every Saturday for sex from August/September to the end of October.
I was falling for him, I liked him allot, I thought he liked me too. We had plans to meet up on that last Saturday of October 31. I was about ready to head out the door when he cancelled plans on me last second. Saying he did not shower or clean his house and did not feel like having me over. I admit, that ticked me off, and I guess he could sense that so he decided to try and bring the conversation up by stating the fact he bought a game we could play online together, which he never actually did. I’m not sure why he lied on that, but to cut the chase, I asked that following Wednesday if he would like to hang out with me. The look of disgust was pronounced on his face, and that when I got the famous, “I like being alone.” I remember asking if liked me and he said he did, he just enjoys being alone. He stopped texting me after that.
In fact, he started getting nasty at work with me following the next couple of weeks. Demoralizing comments would be made at me. I was always a useless, slow, unintelligent RCA. One that he relied on to save the day a little too much. I was working 14 hour days at this point, 6 to almost 7 days a week. However, he made sure to mention every morning how much work he has to get done and how debilitating his job is compared to the rest of us. Yeah, I am sure working from 8am to 530pm, 5 days a week is a whole lot harder. The final straw before I quit was when he had me written up for a PDI meeting because of me leaving work early for a statewide blizzard. My car went off the embankment multiple times, the roads were not being plowed because of the density of the snow. I did not want to injure myself; these roads were in the mountains. My life was on the line. To cut to the point, he did not tell me he had me scheduled for a PDI, I had to find that out on my own, I would have had to start my route by 11 in the afternoon, which would not have me finished until 14 hours later. After some other witfully crafted words were said to dehumanize me, I quit.
I do not know why he turned against me, but I kind of got the hint after my ex-husband chewed it out of him. My ex-husband is still my friend, a good one. He was upset about how this guy used me then dumped on the side like that. Eventually my ex-boss messaged me a couple months later that my ex-husband was harassing him and that is when I finally made the stupidest mistake of them all. I admitted to him that I still had feelings for him, and I was sorry for whatever I did to upset him, and I would love to get back together down the road, and this yadiya crap. He gave me one simple response back, “And I’m not sure. The sex was good, but I didn’t really feel a deeper connection.”
That is it, I was just good for sex. Nothing more, nothing less. He did not even try, I tried to talk to him. I tried to keep him happy. It hurts that I had all this stupid emotional build up with him, and all he can muster was, I did not feel any deep connection.
#rca#postmaster#work relationships#bad romance#dating#dating the boss#datingpostmaster#donotdoit#badofficeromance#officeromance#postal#badworkrelationships
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Seven Deadly Sins
Genre: Smut (nothing too extreme), Fluff
Word Count: 3,514
A/N: This is in the order that the ideas came to me. This is really crappy writing and makes no sense so bear with me.
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Hyungwon: Sloth
The days came when monsters and humans lived mixed in the world. With Monsters on a mission, it wasn’t unusual that a human would encounter one. So it was no surprise to her when he jumped into her room through her open window. Excited to meet her first monster, she stood, going to him.
“What kind of monster are you?” she asked like a curious child.
“I’m Sloth, once you look into my eyes, you will fall asleep and I can feast on your flesh.”
Today of all days, she felt like doing nothing and it attracted him. She let out a small chuckle, questioning his abilities.
“Prove it.” She challenged.
Without hesitation, Hyungwon grabbed her arms, pulling her close. Her body pressed against his, she looked up, straight into his eyes. The beautiful blue silver ice glistened, showing the galaxy. The doorway into his soul. Hyungwon blinked, stunned that she was still awake after a whole minute of the staring contest. Most people would have rested within seconds.
“I don’t get it.” He released her, stumbling back, “Why aren’t you asleep?”
“Who could fall asleep staring into those beautiful eyes?” she confessed, “I think I’m in love.”
Seeing the honest truth in her eyes, Hyungwon gained confidence again. At least he was able to have some sort of effect on her. In a way that he never thought there could ever be. With a smirk on his lips, Hyungwon wrapped his arm around her waist this time, surprising her when her shoulder hit his chest. The impact knocking the air out of her. The innocent shock displayed in her eyes turned him on.
“Woman, you’ll be the first I feast on wide awake.” He let out a low sexy growl.
“I don’t mind it, Sloth.” Her own words surprised her.
She didn’t know if it was his abilities that caused this effect. A smile spread across her face when he lowered his lips onto hers. They both knew this was going to be different kind of feast. One where both their hearts could eat to its full extent. Hyungwon came to terms with the unexpected truth. He lost. He fell in love with a human. A special one at that.
“Stop this.” Hyungwon pulled away again, “We can’t.”
He was at war with his inner Monster. If he really was in love, he didn’t want to hurt her. He wanted to develop a relationship, not something like this.
“Thank you.” She thanked, completely understanding his intentions.
She knew then that what she felt for him wasn’t just the after effects of staring into his universe. She was enchanted by his eyes, but it was now that she truly felt that she really did love him. When he threw away the spell he cast. And because of this she was willing to give him the chance to love her. The chance for her to love him. And if it didn’t work out, at least they tried in this extreme situation.
Kihyun: Pride
“What are you?” she questioned.
“Call me Pride, You will win my heart or I won’t win yours, either way, you’re my feast tonight.”
She nodded, nonchalantly.
“I’d like to see you try.”
Astounded when she acted like it was nothing, Kihyun’s self-esteem broke. It wasn’t good for his pride. He could feel his strength falter. Not wasting another second, Kihyun backed her up against the wall, doing what he was best at.
“You will fall for me and disobey me.” Kihyun whispered to her ear.
Her breath stuttered, feeling his cool breath against her skin.
“Let me feel you.”
She didn’t move as he cloaked her skin with his fingers, teasing his way up her abdomen. Her eyes shut closed when the feeling was too much to take, holding her breath.
“Stop me, push me away.” Kihyun pressed his body against hers, lips brushing.
As he wanted, she brought her hands up between them, finally able to breathe when she pushed him away. Kihyun’s strength faltered once more and he regained his posture, glaring at her.
“What are you doing?” Kihyun questioned, “Don’t do what I say!”
She opened her eyes and stared into his. Her heart beating so fast Kihyun could hear it.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I think I fell for you.”
“Come here.” He cursed under his breath.
She went into his arms. Kihyun dug his fingers into her beautiful dark locks, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Her arms wrapped around his back, holding him tight.
“Lady, quit playing push and pull, you must be a malfunctioned human.”
She smiled. The only way to beat pride is to feed pride. Doing what he told her was the answer. Kihyun knew that. He felt so drawn to this woman. He could feel the pride, but a different kind of pride. Not hers, but his own and he knew instantly, she beat him at his own game.
“No more games, tell me the truth.” Kihyun pleaded, no longer wanting to play with her, “What do you feel for me.”
“I’ve had my eyes on you for the whole night, Kihyun.” She admitted, “But learning what you are, I just couldn’t lose myself like all your other prey could I?”
Kihyun pulled away surprised that she knew his name. He never told her.
“I want you Kihyun.” She dug her nails into his shoulders, “Tell me what to do.”
With those words, all doubts went out the door. The only thing that mattered was that she wanted him like how he wanted her.
“Do whatever you want.” Kihyun replied.
She was smart in the game she played. He was smart in accepting his feelings. The pride he felt when he won her was all he needed.
“But what I want with you is more than just a hook up, Kihyun.”
“Then pull away from me.”
She released him. Glad that she could get through to him. She wanted a genuine relationship.
Jooheon: Envy
“Who are you?”
“I’m Envy, I will feast on the little green juice you seep out.”
“Is that good or bad?” she asked.
Rolling his eyes, Jooheon invited himself onto the bench beside her. His arm wrapped around her shoulder. She leaned away, intimidated by his dark charisma.
“I can sense it radiating from you.” Jooheon leaned in closer, “the jealousy.”
She furrowed her brows, listening.
“You see that man over there?” Jooheon pointed across the street, “You’re here because of him.”
Amazed at his accurate guess, she feared him more.
“You are full of jealousy.” Jooheon smiled, sucking it from her.
Just a second later, his eyes opened in disappointment. He turned to face her, seeing tears rolling down her face. Dumbfounded at the sudden change of emotion, Jooheon froze.
“I already know he cheated on me, I’m way pass it, Envy.” She cried, “I’m just here to see him from afar.”
The sudden confession surprised him. Jooheon found himself in a difficult situation. Not only did he lose his meal, but he pitied it. That’s why they say never play with your food.
“No, you can’t be sad, be jealous.” Jooheon shook her shoulder, “want him back.”
She refused, looking up into his eyes. The biggest mistake of his life was allowing her to.
“I’m just happy to see him happy.”
The beautiful smile painted onto her face, true happiness in her eyes angered him. It was the first time someone wouldn’t listen to him. She was different.
“Sweetie, you are too kind for your own good.”
For the first time, he felt a pang of jealousy. Jealous that the man who hurt this woman received love he didn’t deserve. Jooheon wanted this love for himself. He swore he would get it. He must win this human’s heart.
“Perhaps, would you like to start over with someone new?”
Her questioning eyes stared up at him.
“To get over an old love, find a new one.” Jooheon said.
“It’s not healthy to jump into a relationship when you haven’t forgotten your last.”
The way she thinks made him like her more. Bringing a smile and a sense of serenity to him.
“And I don’t even know you.”
His smile turned upside down, realizing that he didn’t fully introduce himself. It was true she didn’t know him, but no two strangers stay strangers forever if they’re both willing to change that fact.
“I’m Jooheon.” He tilted his head to her, “Now you know me, and I would love to know you too.”
“I’m not ready for a new relationship.” She shut down his advances.
She was stubborn. But once he liked someone, Jooheon wouldn’t back down. If she needed time, he’ll give it to her. He’d given other meals time too, this time it was for love.
“I understand, when you’re ready, you’ll know where to find me.”
She turned back to her ex when Jooheon left. In her heart she considered Jooheon’s proposal. She deserved to be loved too.
Shownu: Gluttony
“I found you.” Shownu slid into the seat across from her.
“I don’t know you.” She didn’t even look up from her lunch as she spoke.
“I will have you know that I am Gluttony, I feast off it.”
Offended, she put her spoon down and stood up grabbing his shirt collar.
“Are you saying I’m fat?” she glared, waiting for the answer.
Shownu flinched at her unexpected feistiness.
“For the amount of food you eat, you’re actually good looking.”
Flustered, her cheeks turned pink. Releasing him she sat back down, quietly eating. Shownu tried to sense the gluttony. Nothing. How was he supposed to feast?
“I don’t get it, everyone says you are like the gluttony monster, but I can’t sense it from you.” Shownu mumbled quite loud.
“I’m thankful for the food I eat.” She explained, “and I have an active lifestyle so I need all the energy I can get, is that wrong?”
Watching her place another dumpling in her mouth made Shownu’s mouth water. The fact that he was hungry didn’t help. It was the first time he wanted to eat food instead of the human. She made it look so delicious even a monster couldn’t resist. He could sense the gluttony now. He wanted to take away the food, have it all to himself. This woman cause it.
“Please leave some for me, I’m starving.”
She stared, questioning him. The way his eyes watered as he looked at the food made her pity him. Giving in, she pushed the tray to him.
“You’re the first to get to taste my cooking.”
His eyes sparkled at how delicious the food was. And when she mentioned she made it, he swore he fell in love with her. A Human.
“Can I meet you again?” Shownu asked, giving back the empty tray.
He knew he shouldn’t get attached to his prey. Heck he was the one to come up with the rule, Do not play with your food. But this woman was special, she’s not the food, she provides it.
“Are you asking me out?”
She looked at him in anticipation as she packed up the trays.
“I would like to know you more.” Shownu admitted, “And I would love to try more of your cooking.”
She scoffed.
“So you’re in it just for the food.” She turned away, “If I’d known food was my ticket to a relationship, I would’ve shared it long ago.”
The sadness Shownu saw in her eyes said a different thing. But just as fast as it came, the sadness disappeared. She sighed.
“I’ll have to say no to that.”
“Why?”
“I’m not a food machine!”
Her shout startled him. God, she was scary when angry, even to a monster.
“I’m not going to date a person who only likes me for my food, that’s why I never share it.”
“Darling, I like you for more than your food.” He wasn’t being completely honest, “If you let me, I’ll prove it to you.”
Minhyuk: Greed
“Don’t let her take him, he’s yours.”
“Who are you?” she turned to him.
Minhyuk smiled, glad that she asked.
“They call me greed.” He introduced, taking her hand, and kissing it, “nice to meet you.”
She frowned, pulling her hand away. Her attention turned back to her opponent and the man she was interested in. Minhyuk could sense the jealousy and he liked it. It wasn’t to the level of greed, but he was good at putting oil to the fire. He moved closer.
“Whatever you’re doing, I’m not interested.” She pushed him away.
“I just want to say that she doesn’t deserve him, go get him.”
She watched Minhyuk point in their direction. She wanted to do what he said, but she knew it wasn’t right. To be honest, her love interest was open game.
“He doesn’t even know me.”
Throwing his head back, Minhyuk groaned in anger, making her look into his eyes. She was one of those he’ll have to work harder for.
“I need you to do as I say.”
“Why should I listen to you?”
“Because I’m hungry.” Minhyuk explained, “you see, when you get greedy, I can suck out that energy from you and when you get very exhausted and knock out, I can then feast on your flesh. But don’t worry, when you’re asleep you won’t feel pain. I’m nice enough to assure you that. I mean once I accidentally…”
It took him a whole hour to explain to her about the whole process. She only stared in amusement at how much he talked.
“You said you’re greed?” She stopped him, “The only thing I see is you’re greedy for attention, that’s why you talk non-stop. I like it.”
She likes him. Frozen in place, Minhyuk couldn’t believe this woman evaded his tactics. She flustered him in a good way. The want to keep her to himself excited him. He could feel his own greed growing. He knew he was always greedy to get his words out and she attacked him right where it hurt.
“I have an idea.” She smiled, turning her whole body toward him, “Instead of going after him, why don’t I see if you’re worth something?”
“What do you mean?” Minhyuk questioned.
“I meant to say that you are very cute, would you like to go out with me?”
What was wrong with this woman? Minhyuk looked into her eyes to see if she was playing with him, but it told no lies.
“Even after I told you how I could eat you alive, you still think it’s a good idea to ask me out?
With a playful smile, she scooted closer to him.
“I like the thrill you know.” She whispered before placing a peck onto his lips.
Minhyuk was startled in a good way. He never plays with his food, but this time he was willing to break the rules. It makes him feel… alive.
“I don’t care what’s wrong with you, but you’re mine now.”
IM: Wrath
“What kind of monster are you?” with his chin against her palm, she pushed him away, “It’s been days since you tried pursuing me, I’m still not dead.”
A low growl escaped his lips as he followed her down the street. Suddenly a car came by, splashing dirty water on her. She froze, eyes shut, hands squeezed into fists. Changkyun smiled sensing her anger. This was his chance.
“Hate him, hate him.” Changkyun chanted into her ear.
He frowned when she smiled, turning to him. Their eyes met suddenly. A rush of nervousness flushed over him. He darted his attention elsewhere.
“He didn’t mean it.” Her cheery voice made him cringe.
Down the road, they found the car. She stopped, knowing Changkyun was going to find every way to make her hate. After all he is Wrath, hateful, destroying everything. You’d think he’d be more dark, mysterious, but he’s so playful.
It was last week when he appeared to her. She had just found out that her mother had been lying to her, her whole life. Her father was not dead, but living with another family, happily. Changkyun had tried to convince her to severely hate her father for leaving her mother. She couldn’t bring herself to do it though.
“He probably had a reason to leave us.” She said, “It was probably for the best this way.”
The sudden tears coming down her cheeks flustered Changkyun and he did the only thing he could think of. Aegyo. Acting funny. Two things that Wrath would never be associated with. It made her smile. Changkyun didn’t know what made him do it, but he felt relieved seeing her happy. Yet his mission was still to make her experience wrath. To feast on her because he was the predator and she was prey.
So the last few days he’s been chasing after her. Being the weird monster he is. Trying to annoy the shit out of her. If he couldn’t get her to hate people, he decided to make her hate him. But she liked him. He was the first to comfort her. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy his company.
As she thought, Changkyun tried to convince her again.
“Break it, get back at the driver for ruining your beautiful outfit.”
“You think it’s beautiful?” she gleamed, “This morning you said it was meh.”
Irritated, Changkyun grabbed her swinging her to the rock wall, locking her between his arms. Their lips almost touching. His eyes flashed a dark charcoal glowering into hers. He let out a low groan, blinking to hold himself back.
“I’m hungry.”
“Then take me.”
Snaking her arms around his neck, she closed the distance between them. His eyes shot open, staring at her in wonder. How could she do this to him? He felt an anger grow inside. A hatred for her, for himself for falling into the trap.
“I hate you.” Changkyun whispered against her lips, “I hate how you make me feel.”
Wonho: Lust
A smile flashed on his face when he met eyes with the girl sitting two tables diagonally from him. There were two, but the one on the inside seat had what he needed. The way she stared at him with dirty thoughts going through her mind. He could just taste it. Giving the girls a wink, he stepped out of the diner.
The two girls looked down at the note the waiter handed them.
“I’ll go.”
“Fine, we’re here to get you a man anyway.”
Anticipating, she made her way out the back door where he had gone. Wonho grabbed her by the waist the instant she exited the door. He pinned her to the wall. She gasped in surprise when he took her lips. His eyes flashing aquamarine. She pushed him.
“What are you?”
Shock showing in her eyes.
“You’re not the one I was waiting for.”
Wonho hesitated from the unexpected woman. But she was a woman, nonetheless. Her question in his mind.
“I’m you’re deepest darkest desire, feeding on filthy lustful woman like you.” Wonho pulled her close.
“Well you read me wrong.” She held distance with her hands between them, “I came out because I find you cute, but to full on desire you?”
She wasn’t wrong, he could sense the purity of a naive little woman. Something about that pleased him. To think that he’d be the one to taint her, he took this challenge.
“I’ll make you want me.”
The sharp look in her eyes indicated she accepted his challenge. With permission, Wonho took her hands, bringing them lower to feel him. Her cheeks burned when he pulled his shirt off. Fighting the urge, she held back, convincing herself by staring at his cute face.
“You are adorable.” She lied to herself.
Angry, Wonho smashed his lips to hers. Never had a girl refuse the desire he gave. She was tough. His fingers found its way into her skirt. Her breathing became uneven. Mind clouded with overwhelming emotions. Wonho felt her give in and he smirked. It was his victory. Until she pushed him to the ground.
“You want to devour me?” Angry at the way he made her feel, “Well, I’m not going down without a fight.”
Taking a seat on his crotch, she watched him let out a staggered groan, throwing his head back. It was his turn to lose. His turn to lust. He felt it build inside and for once he knew how it really felt. She granted him that. Wonho raised his head, watching her bite back her moans. He cursed in the back of his mind. He won the challenge, but he couldn’t bring himself to feast on her. Grabbing her small waist, he turned the situation around.
“I can’t hurt you, Baby.” Wonho whispered, “I think I love you.”
He kissed her hungrily. Then suddenly got up, running away, leaving her breathless and confused. He had to get away to keep her safe from the monster inside.
#Monsta X#Hyungwon#Kihyun#Jooheon#Shownu#Minhyuk#Changkyun#Wonho#Sloth#Pride#Envy#Gluttony#Greed#Wrath#Lust#Kpopscenarios#smut#fluff
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This is not ask about kinks (No offence btw i don't which word to replace kink with). in previous ask, you said you didn't like the canon of Tormod and Muarim origins right? so i would to ask what type of canon would you give them if you could? I also like ask, if the Tellius saga ever get a revamp/remake, what would be biggest wish fullfill? for me its Tormod reclassing into a melee class / Laguz Army to availability more...
Oh, it's okay! No worries lol, this is a kink blog after all.
As for Muarim & Tormod, I would honestly just prefer it for Muarim to have literally found Tormod out of nowhere and took him in. Like that's just so much better than the wierd little dynamic of Tormod basically being the son of Muarim's ex master and Muarim taking him Tormod in when the noble house falls.
Honestly, my biggest wish fulfilment would just be getting supports in RD. Like, that alone would be so beautiful. Hell, they could even keep the mini supports and make it so that those are a super small in battle bonuses.
And although a remake with both games would be phenomenal, let's face it, Nintendo is a company and they are as greedy as all hell just as every other company so they'll be their own remakes
Though there's a lot more to help RD. Even though it's already really damn great imo. But if the legitimate fixes, I'd say this:
Fix availability. Tormod, Muarim, and Vika really have no business joining for like 3 chapters before leaving until the last 6 chapters with their stats from part 1 lmao
Also, BALANCE. When people say RD is the second most unbalanced game, they mean it. The difference in usefulness in characters is astounding. Also, Dawn Brigade still in tier 2 classes while Greil Mercenaries are already hitting tier 3 is ridiculous and pretty dumb
Laguz gauge. It's not terrible but I still feel that PoR gauge would work much better, especially with olivi gras and such. Also , Laguz being locked to single range hurts them so much since RD is pretty enemy phase heavy.
Weapon balance. Magic is pretty bad and also had terrible caps. Laura has amazing speed growths but can't take advantage of it since her caps are awful.
Difficulty balance: Part 1 shouldn't be the most difficult part of the game when there's three more parts after it.
Writing: part 3 aside, (I don't know how to fix it without making Pelleas look ever worse than he already did by signing that blood pact lmao) part 4's writing kinda comes across as a generic "series crossover game" it's not bad and it also serves in showing tensions between characters. But it also highlights favoritism, Skrimir praising Micaiah while ready to murder Naesala. And also Pelleas getting off the hook easy from Tibarn.
And as for personal wishes:
I wanna save Zelgius. He's by no means this innocent character people love to paint him as, but it bothers me that you can save Lehran but not Zelgius
Change Pelleas's "death" scene in part 2. The fact that the only difference is suddenly getting the option to have Micaiah jump in the way just feels so cheap. I will say Pelleas' death is kinda just a punch on the first playthrough since the option kinda does give some false hope to sparing him. And it ultimately becomes a complete waste. (though Pelleas does get forgotten afterwards sadly)
Give more screentime to Skrimir and Sanaki. The two are great characters as is, but it would've been fun getting a chapter or 2 with them to help solidify their arcs.
Also, give Pelleas and Elincia some more screentime
Ike. He's great and I love him, but godamn is he just this absolutely perfect child that can do no real wrong and everyone praises him so much. Granted, his growth was already in PoR but still. (Praise Micaiah's lines dissing Ike, it's just such a great fresh view in seeing how the losing country sees the game's hero after that other FE games don't do)
Speaking of Ike, it honestly would've been cool seeing him get a more supporting role instead of just blindsiding everything and taking over. But that never goes well in games. Look at the fandom with Micaiah lmao. (And also Tales of with the Symphonia sequel)
Stop the whole Astrid x Makalov thing. I just hate the ship lmao
And that's just for RD sjdhsjnsksb it's really obvious how much I love Tellius. But admittedly, they're all nitpicks than any actual true flaws.
As for PoR, it's been so long since I played it, but it honestly has like no real narrative flaws that I can find? I just vastly prefer RDs ambitious scale of writing vs PoR's take on the whole basic FE plot.
As for gameplay stuff
Balance magic a bit, lightning is too good. And that not, bring back tier 1 light mages and also bring back dark magic.
Give us Maniac Mode!!
RD's improved UI and models alongside the skills
Make knives way better and let Sothe promote. Unpromotable tier 1 classes is the worst idea ever. Unless you're a dancer, you should be able to promote.
Let Laguz weapons rank up
FIX THE AWFUL WEAPON RATE GAIN
OMG SERIOUSLY THAT WAS SO AWFUL
I DON'T EVER WANT SUCH A SLOW WEAPON RATE EVER AGAIN
Give Elincia more screentime. I love her and like yeah, not every women needs to be this badass warrior, but the Nyna archetype is just so done at that point. (But hey, she still turns it on it's head by the end. And so does Pelleas)
And that's all I can think of really.
Again, I'm such a huge Tellius nerd lmao. Though I currently believe FE6 will get remade first. Tellius is still too recent, and intys probably doesn't wanna touche the incest plot shit in FE4 and FE5 also has to get passed up for a remake due to being in Jugdral.
God this is so fucking long sjdbjsvavsvs
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Friends in Dark Places [remastered; ch 10]
pairing: moxiety and logince (later on), background eventual remile, background eventual remy/emile/deceit
WARNINGS: food mentions, eating, sex mentions, affair mentions, crude language, swearing, panic attacks, graphic depictions of self harm, suicidal ideation, abusive family members, yelling, fighting, blood, self hatred, self disgust, hurtful conversations, fear, anxiety, anger, homophobia, possibly something else
tag list: @hufflepuffgirl01 @cocobearthe4th @cas-is-a-hunter @band-be-boss-blog @theunoriginaldaisy
a/n: this chapter is SUPER intense, so please heed the warnings! as always, you’re free to ask for a modified chapter if you need it, but please be extra careful because none of those warnings are taken lightly!!!!
a/n 2: jsyk, it’s totally okay to ask for a modified chapter if you need it! i get it, and it’s no problem for me to quick edit a chapter or whatever :) also, feel free to send requests or questions that you have!
chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 3 - chapter 4 - chapter 5 - chapter 6 - chapter 7 - chapter 8 - chapter 9 - chapter 11 - chapter 12
companion fics: exes and ‘oh’s
consider buying me a coffee
-
It had taken a while, but the idea of going and conversing with the others started to warm up to Virgil. Patton had wrapped his arm around Virgil’s waist and held him close, grounding the anxious teen and giving him small bits of courage. Soon, they stood up and and ventured to the main pavilion to introduce Virgil to the other people he hadn’t met yet. There was Jo, who had a really cool cut down the middle makeup look on his face, and Joan, who did the most ridiculous impressions, and Terrence, who was the biggest ball of energy in such a small body.
For once, it was actually enjoyable for Virgil to meet new people. Years of being almost completely alone--save for a few friends here and there and his shitty ex-boyfriend--had turned him almost completely solitary. At the party, he still clung to Patton like a scared five-year-old, but he felt a little more included in the group. When Virgil began to tense up, Patton would place his hand gently on his back to provide a tether to cling on.
After two hours of eating and chatting, the party was over. Patton, Logan, and Roman offered to stay after and help clean up, but Talyn shooed the boys away, saying something about how they didn’t need any help. Virgil knew it was because they wanted him home ASAP after his panic attack, but he couldn’t bring himself mind. He was tired, and all he wanted to do was wash all of this makeup off and hopefully get most of the glitter off of his body. One day, Roman would pay for this pink glitter catastrophe, but that was a whole other train of thought.
Patton and Virgil were dropped off at their house just before midnight. Both of the boys got ready for bed, and Virgil was just this close to falling asleep when Patton softly knocked on his door.
Virgil groaned and rolled over. “Yeah, Pat? What’s up?”
The door softly clicked open, and the soft hall lights filtered in, giving Patton a light yellow glow. He entered quietly and sat on the desk chair, just barely visible in the low light.
“I, uh, just wanted to say thank you for coming to the party tonight. And also to apologize for your panic attack. I shouldn’t have let myself get swept away when you obviously needed some extra support.” Although his tone was sweet and kind, there was deep regret laced in his words.
“Oh, Pat. It’s okay. It wasn’t even your fault that we got separated.” Virgil assured, propping himself onto his elbows.
There was a beat of silence before Patton hesitantly whispered, “Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” Virgil smiled even though it probably couldn’t be seen by Pat. “I’m sure.”
Patton nodded quickly and left, but not before giving Virgil a small thumbs up. Soon, both of the boys were asleep and the rough day was far behind them.
---
The next week passed by smoothly. Virgil had a grand total of just three panic attacks (and Patton had come to help with each one) and hadn’t relapsed a single time. He was really proud of himself, as was Patton, and he just felt better about himself. It was liberating to have actual friends to talk to and hang out with. He’d even persuaded Logan to join crew!
And then on that fateful Monday--May first, to be exact--everything came crumbling down. It seemed as if everything bad in the word just happened to fall on a Monday. That just made Mondays even more dreadful.
Virgil’s day had started off like normal. He’d woken up, gotten ready, eaten breakfast with Patton, and went off to school. It was almost ridiculously mundane. It was in second block, however, when the not-so-normal things began to happen.
“Virgil Thomas to Office A, please,” the voice on the speaker crackled.
Shit, Virgil thought. What the fuck did I do this time?
His teacher gestured at him to leave, so he did. The walk from his math classroom to the office was basically a joke, so he made his way as slowly as possible, going so far as to dawdle by the bubbler for a minute.
As he walked up to the office, he saw his dad’s “secretary” standing at the doors. “Secretary” being used loosely, since she was, in reality, nothing more than the girl his dad had chosen to have an affair with this month.
“Hey, Virgil,” Nathalie cooed in her irritating voice. It sounded like sandpaper on ceramic plates. “Your dad is back in town and wanted me to let you know.”
“Why didn’t he just text me? He knows that I keep my phone on me at all times.” Virgil knew that he sounded bitter, but he didn’t care when his father was involved.
“He’s been very busy lately.” Yeah, probably doing you. “He hasn’t been able to find a time to take a break from work to text you.”
Work! Who knew that Nathalie could be so funny.
“Right. Well, I’m going to go back to class now, Nat. Bye!” He spun around on his heel and started to walk away when she cut him off.
“Oh, and your father wants you to have dinner with him tonight.”
Fucking great.
“Um, I actually had plans with a friend tonight,” Virgil rushed, dancing carefully around his current living arrangements and schedule.
“Why don’t you invite them over? I’m sure your father would love to meet them!”
Sure he would! Just like he was so fucking excited to meet Virgil’s boyfriend or any of his other friends when he’d brought them over.
“Sure. I’ll ask him.” He was never going to be able to get out of it, so he might as well try to get Patton to come along and soften the blow. Virgil walked to the bathroom instead of to his classroom, sitting in the nearest stall with his head in his hands until the bell rang.
---
“How do I look, Virge?” Patton modeled the black dress pants and blue polo get up he had on. His grey cardigan was actually on him, instead of hanging off of his shoulders or waist.
“Great! I don’t think Dad’ll have anything bad to say about that.” Virgil was ridiculously worried about his dad ripping the happy-go-lucky boy to absolute shreds. Mr. Thomas wasn’t the nicest or most accepting person on a good day, and any way that Virgil could protect his friend, he would.
“Awesome. Now, what are you wearing?” Patton’s question was innocent, but sent a small wave of anxiety through Virgil’s body.
“Uh, black jeans, some dress shoes, and a black jumper.” He’d worn this many times in front of his dad, and he hadn’t yet been ridiculed by his father for it. Unlike all of his other clothing.
Already, Virgil had wiped off all of his makeup and styled his hair out of its floppy fringe into a clean-cut look in preparation for the visit to see his dad. Any bandages that might have disrupted his appearance were removed, all scars were covered with foundation, and his whole personality purged of substance. Even his phone case had been switched out from the pretty galaxy case with the halloween Popsockets to the all black case with as much personality as a stick in the mud. It was absolutely dreadful.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll look fantastic, kiddo!”
Yeah. Sure.
---
“Alright, guys, have a good time! Just text me when you need to be picked up, Pat,” Mrs. Shea said before driving off, leaving Virgil and Patton stranded at the Thomas residence.
For once, the lights were on inside, giving the house the tiniest sense that it wasn’t vacant. Virgil couldn’t help but wonder which of his father’s chefs was cooking their meal. He hoped that it was Mei, whose food was both fancy enough to meet Mr. Thomas’ high expectations but held a sense of casualness that appealed to Virgil.
The pair walked up to the front door and rang the bell, sending a custom chime echoing through the house. Almost instantly, a mildly-disheveled Nathalie opened the door, grinning ridiculously widely.
“Virgil! Who’s your friend, here?” She greeted with faux cheeriness.
“Uh, this is Patton. He’s a friend from school,” Virgil paused, unable to focus when he could see a white stain on Nat’s mouth. He motioned up to his lips with a small grimace. “You’ve got a little… something… on your mouth, Nathalie.”
Gross. He didn’t even want to think about what had been happening just moments before.
Nathalie wiped gently at her mouth with the back of her hand, being extra careful not to smudge her pristine red lipstick. Opening the door wider, she motioned the boys inside. Virgil led the way to the dining room, not even bothering to wait for Nathalie.
“Oh, Virgil,” Mr. Thomas said as they walked into the dining room. “I didn’t realize you’d brought someone along.” Shocking. “Is this another one of your ‘boyfriends?’”
A pinched smile spread across Virgil’s face. “No, dad. I’m not dating anyone. This is my school friend, Patton Shea.”
“Hey, Mr. Thomas. It’s a pleasure to meet you!” Patton’s happy voice lightened up the room’s atmosphere just the slightest amount, which all but astounded Virgil.
“Virgil could take some fashion notes from you, Patton. He’s always wearing those stupid looking skinny jeans and t-shirts. You look quite impressive and professional for a teenager,” Mr. Thomas commented, adjusting his glasses in a Logan-like manner. That was apparently all he had to say as he took a bite of the food in front of him.
Much to Virgil’s disappointment, it wasn’t Chinese. Apparently, the first dinner you’d have with your son in literal months wouldn’t be complete without a giant French buffet--complete with dessert.
“I--Thanks?” Pat stuttered, confused by the backhanded compliment. Virgil disregarded the comment, instead choosing to lead his friend to the table. They sat close enough to his dad to be considered polite, but it was definitely farther than an appropriate familial distance.
The three ate in silence for a few minutes before Mr. Thomas spoke again. “So, Patton, what are you planning on doing after high school? Virgil said he wanted to be a graphic designer, but he’s probably going to take up the family business. Arts degrees are just a waste of time and money; better to strive to be successful on the first try and not have to go back.”
Patton stiffened almost imperceptibly. “I was planning on going to school to be a therapist, but being a stay-at-home dad seems like a pretty nice idea, too.”
“Psychology is an interesting subject; I’d have to agree.” Mr. Thomas shifted his focus to his son. “Now, Virgil, what did you say you wanted to focus on in school? Something with video making?”
“It was video game design, but I’m not going after that, anymore. It was a stupid fever dream.” None of the food on Virgil’s plate was making it to his mouth; it had merely been stirred into a gloopy mess. He already felt like shit about himself, but leave it to his dad to be make him feel even worse.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom. Excuse me.” Virgil all but jumped up and sprinted from the room.
Within a few seconds, he locked the door to the upstairs bathroom behind him. Virgil turned his head and stared at the reflection in the mirror. It looked nothing like him. The Virgil in the mirror was normal; he had no flaws, and he was the perfect son. His goals were steep but attainable, and he never said anything out of line. The real Virgil was anything but.
The real Virgil was a gigantic disappointment. He wanted to go into the arts, not business management. He had an attitude problem and a “screw The Man” ideology that ended up getting him into more trouble that necessary, yet he never changed his ways. The real Virgil was an emotional mess, not knowing how to properly express himself except through suicide or self harm. He was pathetic and stupid and, quite frankly, “too gay to function,” as his dad would say. There was no place in this world for the real him. Every single fucking time that his father was around, the façade was put up in some wimpy attempt to deflect some of the hateful words that would always be thrown his way.
And that’s when he broke. Tears streamed down his face, and choked sobs ran through his body. He thought he’d been getting better, but who was he kidding? This was the same old Virgil who’d attempted suicide not once--not twice. No, he’d attempted to fucking kill himself four times. But thank god that he’d survived! The world obviously needed Virgil Thomas’ fucking presence to keep it spinning.
Virgil gripped at his hair. He’d left his phone at the table, but he needed an escape from the emotions berating him.
Think, Virgil! There’s gotta be something that can help you.
His blurry eyes scanned the counter before landing on a familiar piece of metal.
Yes.
Virgil reached out and grabbed the blade, flipping it open with ease. Memories of the past flitted through his mind. Ones where he’d said “just one last time” with false hopes that it’d be true, but the very next day, he’d be back in this bathroom, washing blood out of the tub. Weakness. Had he included that on his list? Because Virgil Thomas was weak.
“Just one last time,” he mocked as the blade sliced the skin of his forearm.
Pathetic. What kind of fucking child do you have to be to continually come back to a blade to solve your problems?
Another cut. And another. It was so calming--so ridiculously relaxing to watch the red blood splatter on the perfectly white floor where it mixed with his tears to make a watercolor painting.
Faggot. Nobody will love someone who’s gay, loser! Think of Jason. He ruined you.
A knock on the door jerked Virgil out of his daze, making him drop the knife in the process.
“Hey, Virgil? Are you okay? I can hear you crying, kiddo,” Patton worried; his words filtered through the door with a slight resonance.
“I’m fine, Patton. Don’t worry.” Yeah fucking right.
“Virge, please just let me in.” There was no way that Patton would take no for an answer.
“Okay.” Virgil pulled his sleeves down harshly, smearing a bit of blood onto his hands. He stepped in front of the blade and blood, trying to hide it from Pat’s prying eyes as he opened the door. A fake smile was plastered onto Virgil’s face. “See--”
“Is that blood?” Patton gasped and snatched Virgil’s wrists up. With an unprecedented gentleness, he rolled up the jumper sleeves that had started to plaster themselves to his arms. The look of worry on Pat’s face soon turned to one of pure anger.
He’s mad. You’ve upset him, and he’s going to kick you out. Maybe he’s finally realized what a mistake it was to save you--
“How dare your dad think he can say things like that to his own son! You deserve so fucking much, Virgil--in fact, you deserve the world. Yet here’s this asshole who won’t give you a god damn break, bringing you to hurt yourself because he can’t keep his idiocy to himself! Grab that towel; we’re going downstairs.” Patton stormed out the room and down the stairs. Virgil followed a few paces behind, terrified out of his mind.
“Mr. Thomas! With all due respect--which is none, by the way--who the absolute fuck do you think you are to think that it’s okay to ridicule your own child like that?” Virgil’s dad opened his mouth to speak, but Pat cut him off. “No! You fucking listen to me; you’re a terrible father! Your child should never be brought to self harm as a coping mechanism--especially not by his own fucking father. Are you fucking kidding? Who gave you the right to do this? First, you spend all of your time away from Virgil, and then you go about barely ever talking to him, and to top it all off, you give him shit for everything that he has a fucking passion for!”
Both Virgil and his father were completely silent. Neither had expected such an outburst from the docile kid between them.
After a long few moments, Virgil said, “Let’s go, Pat.”
Virgil and Patton quickly left the house, not stopping until they were a street away. Patton called his mom to tell her to pick them up, and they sat on the curb to wait.
“Thank you, Patton. For standing up to me. Nobody’s ever done that before.” Virgil’s voice was soft and genuine. A little fluttering sensation rose in Pat’s stomach as he leaned towards his friend.
“It’s no problem, Virge.”
chapter 11
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Just finished watching Army of the Dead with my parents... it was... alright in the sense that if someone said it was their guilty pleasure movie, I would be able to see that, like it was bad but it wasn't the Avatar the Last Airbender live action bad but, in my opinion, it was bad.
It kind of felt like someone saw Train to Busan, the shitty movie version of I am Legend (If you know, you know), Zombieland, and maybe a few others and said "hey, I can do that!" And then made this garbage fire of a movie. Throughout watching it, I felt like they were trying to be serious but it just came across as extremely dumb and almost comedic, but not in a good way...
SPOILERS FOR
ARMY OF THE DEAD
TRAIN TO BUSAN
I AM LEGEND (MOVIE)
DANGANRONPA (IDK, I just don't want to risk getting shit from the Fandom)
HERE ON OUT!!!
Like, first off, Kate, the main dude's daughter, sucked. Like, from the get go, I KNEW she was going to be a final girl because she was the youngest and very pretty but this girl is so fucking stupid it's actually ASTOUNDING. First off, she mouths off to a guard who's CLEARLY a power hungry jackass when this man could make her just "go missing" so easily, like it happens to women now and there aren't any zombies (none that I'm aware of at least).
Then, the SECOND she finds out this mother left her kids to go on a obvious suicide mission, but then SHE leaves to try and find this mother who she doesn't even know if she's alive so great, these kids now lose TWO role models and are left terrified in this camp with some corrupt soldiers if that one dude was any hint.
I also hate what she told her dad when they had that failure of a heart to heart. Like, I get it, you needed your dad or someone to comfort you but this man also needed someone who he knew wouldn't blame him for killing the woman he loved and he didn’t know with you, it's not like he WANTED to be an absent father after that. She only had to see her mom's dead body, he had to STAB her in order to save you, that weighs on someone, especially if they're unsure if you hate them for what they had to do, and from what he said, it's pretty clear you never told him you didn't blame him.
After that, she makes a plan to go out into zombie territory with NO armor and, like, one fucking gun that seemed to have endless bullets until her dad was supposed to FINALLY get there and save her useless ass. Like she was supposed to make sure the grate was secure but instead, risked ALL of their lives by making it easier for her to get out to carry out her stupid idea. What if I zombie used that to get to you guys? You don't know if this woman is even still ALIVE but you're willing to risk everyone else's lives? What the fuck?
Finally, BECAUSE Kate ran off like a fucking idiot, both her dad and the pilot were killed and Zeus was almost set loose on the rest of America. Not only that but the woman she went into get? I don't even think she made it! Like maybe I'm fucking blind but I didn't see her ANYWHERE after that helicopter crash so I can only assume she's dead. Like, either way, this woman would have died, something she would have to expect after going into such a dangerous place (also, not the blonde's fault she went in, the blonde didn't know this woman had kids, this woman did and she made the choice to risk her life) but when you got her on that helicopter, she had hope again and this whole dumbass idea took that away from her AGAIN and she died
Then there the fact that when Kate, her dad, and the woman finally get on the helicopter, she and her dad just stand there, STAND THERE, just fucking smiling at each other, like, yeah, yeah, you're alive but DO THAT WANNABE HEARTWARMING SHIT ON THE HELICOPTER WHILE YOU'RE FLYING AWAY WTF!!!
Another thing that annoyed me was the ending, like dude saw he was bit and just stared into a mirror, I would have punched mirror and stabbed myself in the head real quick because
1. I refuse to become one of those things and
2. I don't want this virus to spread
The zombies in general just... annoyed me... they were like, a dumber version of the creatures from I am Legend (Darkseekers I think? IDK, haven't seen the movie in a few years), like the fact they hibernate, they are intelligent (Alphas at least), they're fast, and the sounds they make immediately made me remember the Darkseekers. Also, if I remember right, the Darkseekers went after the scientist when they did because he captured the wife of the leader Alpha seeker, which also occurs (in a way) in Army of the Dead with the queen
By the way, how tf did this zombie woman become pregnant??? Like, zombies are dead meaning the sperm would also be dead... unless these things aren't actually zombies???
Also going back to the sounds these guys make, when the now zombified army dude first screamed, I almost peed myself laughing because of how stupid he looked
I also laughed when that shipping crate thing was dropped on the mother and daughter in the beginning because all I could think of was Junko's death scene from Danganronpa.
I did enjoy the intro, at least the parts with the main characters holding photos of their loved ones but are you telling me that several army guys couldn't hit Zeus in the fucking cranium but ONE average woman just immediately gets a bunch of headshots in a horde in what couldn't have been more than a few days after Zeus got loose (lmao)? What??? Then there's the scene of soldiers just fucking parachuting into the middle of these massive hordes and trying to shoot them before being brutally killed, like, what'd you expect??? Them to just let you land safe and give you a gold star for doing such a good job??? TF???
Back to movie comparisons, the opening was almost positively inspired by Zombieland, the slow motion and the show girls with almost nothing on makes it obvious
As for Train to Busan, there's one scene where the dad just slams a zombie against the rooftop of the space they're in just like that badass in blue from Train to Busan, then there was the whole daughter having to watch die/kill her infected father who she just started to form a connection with again but instead of it working for the movie, it went against it. To start, TtB (Train to Busan) dad and daughter were really well written characters, you wanted them to survive, to continue to develop this bond they finally started building, whereas in AotD (Army of the Dead), I was just wanting these dumbasses to die already and their so-called "bonding" made cringe. Next, what was great about TtB dad was that, unlike AotD dad, he wasn't this big obviously badass hero leader or something, he was just a man trying to survive and protect his daughter, and eventually the pregnant woman, at all cost and, unintentionally, ends up learning to be a better person despite dying soon after. Next there's the unlikable, selfish jack off who you want to see killed off. In TtB, it's this business man who is constantly manipulating situations and those around him in order to get what he wants or to save himself, something we see constantly when he tells the conductor to just leave and forget everyone else, when he makes everyone fear the main characters after they fought their way to safety to benefit him, when he sacrifices the train dude who was his short time right hand man or something, and when he just straight up threw a high school girl at a zombie who was chasing him, leading to both her death and the high school boy's death. The in AotD, there's this, IDK, ex-soldier or something who's only there to screw over the other characters for no real reason as he really could have used them if he was in trouble and needed someone to watch his back or something and to take the queen's head for selfish reasons (way more money than he was offered, though taking the head and the money wouldn't hurt). TtB's selfish man was extremely well-written, albeit, not a good person by any stretch of the imagination, his motives were clear to the audience and people in the movie who weren't taken in by his fear mongering tactics, he knew how to make people think he wanted them all safe which lead to them being easily manipulated, and he never just stabbed someone in the back out of the blue or when he could still use them, whereas the AotD soldier dude just wanted money and to get out alive but left a lot of money down with the others when it certainly wouldn't have hurt him to help get at least some out for himself, he also just stabbed people in the back when he clearly still needed their help (was most likely supposed to be seen as him being too overconfident but, to me, came across as bad writing) or doing shit that could have so easily backfired on him and put all of them in way more danger than necessary considering the Alphas only came for them because he beheaded the queen (and maybe killed the zombie fetus in the process??? IDK, wasn't clear to me) since they were given a sacrifice earlier
Sorry if this makes, like, no sense, I haven't slept in awhile and I'm really tired but couldn't sleep until I got all of this out of my system and I don't feel like proof reading so enjoy this (hopefully) relatively well thought out (at least for my tired brain) word vomit movie review of Army of the Dead, all in all maybe a 3.5 out of 10 for me but I would recommend you watch it to form your own opinions
(Also wanted to quickly add, there's nothing wrong with inspiration, it was just kind of obvious to me at certain points or at least that what my mind instantly thought of when I saw these scenes, IDK if anyone came out and said they were inspired by these films. Also just wanted to use them as comparisons. Just wanted to clear that up real quick)
#army of the dead#movie review#dumbass amateur movie reviewer#SPOILERS#spoilers#lots of spoilers#movies spoiled include#train to busan#army of the dead (2021)#(no shit)#i am legend#i guess#idk I'm fucking tired#enjoy this word vomit
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