What if I said... I didn't care for Mishanks

Hello! 🌷What are the placements or sign that care most about beauty in a partner and what are the sign that care least? I mean in long term relationship or potential marriage?

DISCLAIMER⚠️ Im going to answer this based on personal experiences. These observations are not facts!

Libra Venus: These men from what Ive noticed care a lot about looks when chosing a partner. I also noticed they tend to have a huge change in type once in their life. Like they have one type in their early teens then after puberty a complete change to the opposite of what they liked before. You might be shocked when you see who they marry.

Leo Venus: These people love a partner they can show off. I wouldnt call them shallow tho because these people have the biggest hearts and Ive never seen them treat someone bad because of looks. They are just lovers of beauty. For them its a sign of confidence and pride when a person takes care of herself and styles herself. What Ive noticed with this sign is that they tend to be very turned off by insecurity.

Venus in Scorpio/aspecting Pluto: This is a wild card. These people are drawn to the energy and depth of a person so a lot of them are the least likely to be shallow but Ive also seen some people with this aspect who are super critical of womens looks and obsessed with looks since Pluto rules obsession.

Moon in Libra: These people from what Ive noticed just cant stand flaws. They dont need their partner to be gorgeous but they need someone who doesnt have anything that stands out. I have had friends with this and just a zit on someones face could bother them. I wouldnt say they need someone gorgeous tho they just dont like flaws.

Least likely to care:

Venus in Capricorn/aspecting Saturn: Looking good is not good enough for them, you need to be someone respectable. They tend to be cloutchasers lol. Sure they love to show off someone hot to make up for some self esteem issues and to show they can. But these people value respect sooo much that in the end looks just wont be enough. In their younger years they might be with someone hot just to show off tho but to settle down then no you need to be powercouple material.

Moon in Scorpio: Ive met so many scorpio Moons who were disgusted with shallowness. My mom is one and she would never judge someone based on their outside.

Venus in Aquarius: They are probably the least shallow (aspect matters tho). A lot of Venus in Aquarius people my age have it conjunct Neptune so they tend to overidealize beauty but otherwise I would say Venus in Aquarius really values brains and your views.

Mercury in the 7th house: They value intelligence and humour above most qualities in a partner.

Tom Riddle x reader - blurb/how you(blank) because i need to write SOMETHING

How you meet - During 5th year, its a simple paired potions assignment and you end up getting paired with Tom. he's polite and charming of course, one must be to gain allies, even if they are...less, in his view.

How you gain his attention- Oddly, you don't pay attention to him like most of the girls do(frtho we all be drooling over him and blushing), you just get your work done and be polite. it gains his attention because 'whomst? doesn't react to my charms and face? i must find out the cause'. mans likes a puzzle to solve.

How it starts- he starts hanging around to try and solve the puzzle of you, he wants to know everything, every weakness and every tiny piece about the person who caught his attention. he surmises that he'll lose interest at some point once he learns enough/gains your attention like the other girls always give him. but the longer he hangs around, the more...comfortable he gets. he finds himself gravitating towards you, not really realizing whats happening until its already too late.

How he realizes- during another potions class, Slughorn was reviewing Amortentia and Tom smelled a particular scent that had him reeling back-his eyes going wide and ears turning pink. it was your perfume/shampoo/cologne/body wash/whatever. a smell he had gotten way too acquainted with over the last few months. (yes it takes him literal months to get to this point he is not a love at first sight kinda guy, he has to have some sort of connection) and he has a bit of a breakdown-because haha-WHAT!?

What happens after the realization- He distances himself right away, practically cuts contact. doesn't look at you, doesn't speak to you unless he HAS to. just goes cold turkey. right away he misses you and is just like *AHHHHHHHHHHHHH* but internally...this only lasts about two weeks before he decides 'fuck i miss them' and just stares at you for a good while before he gains to courage to go up to you and start talking again. he keeps his cool, of course he does, but inside he is screaming.

How he confesses- its right before summer break of 5th year, yes he takes forever to confess and he does it right before everyone leaves for the summer, just in case he gets rejected and doesn't have to look you in the eye until the next school term. For once he's fumbling over his words and he cant keep eye contact, his face slowly turning red as you stare at him with a small smile. depending on how you react, he'll either leave with a hidden smile or the STUPIDEST grin he's ever worn, or will wear. the grin will be if you kiss him on the cheek.

When you both come back for 6th year- Oh-he is NERVOUS-he didn't even know he COULD BE nervous. his hands are shaking slightly and he cannot focus on anything he is just so nervous about seeing you again. he hides it well, blank face and everything, but he moment he sees you at the train station, and you smile at him, he cannot help but smile back because holy shit they like me back and i wasn't delusional

lowkey i hc Tom is insecure in relationships(genuine ones)

How he is in a relationship- it takes him a long time to get properly comfortable. pulls back from any pda and wont even let you hold his hand. you can hold his sleeve or something but hand? nope. he's just so unused to being touched in a loving way that he's-almost grossed out by it? but once he finally starts to settle? ooooh he is the cuddliest thing on planet earth. feral cat that felt the loving touch of their human and now will never let them go. pda is at a minimum but now you're always holding hands in some way, pinkies interlocked and everything. study dates are the main dates, but he wont mind a date at the three broomsticks once in a while, as long as you find a quiet corner to hang out in semi-privately. will help you with homework but has to be offered something(wink wink just kidding its candy.) Major! sweet tooth, you could make him commit murder with the offer of sweets(lets be fr he wouldn't need candy to commit murder) jealous! jealous jealous jealous! and possessive, no one is allowed to talk to you, not with out several interviews from Tom and being cleared after taking a written exam on why they wouldn't try anything on his boy/girl.

loves to see you in his hoodies/sweaters, thinks its the best way other than hickeys to mark his territory. will happily give up all his hoodies to make sure everyone knows that you're his.

side note; i see so many tik toks(Slytherin boys react n stuff) that make him super threatening and menacing and willing to kill during the Hogwarts years. like he's smart. really fucking smart. he wouldn't risk anything just for someone he cares a lot about, torture? yes. kill? no. he's not stupid. he's not going to get caught over a stupid boy who gets handsy. will he later kill that idiot after graduation? yes, but during school? when Dumbledore is around to keep an eye on him? no. he's not stupid. he's not a murder machine, he's homicidal not stupid.

Anyway back to the point

Other relationship stuff-

Would take a long time to get to the point were he wants to go past kissing, hell it takes him forever to kiss you for the first time-like legit three months into the relationship. he would do knuckle/hand kisses and cheek kisses here and there-but it takes months for you guys to kiss properly for the first time. but anyway's he had never been attracted to anyone before you and takes a long time to get sexually active with you, mans is a virgin-everyone makes him a playboy and i look at his ass and go 'that man has never touched a girl a day in his life'.

So he learns with you, once he starts? oh yes he goes full horn dog. he is insatiable! cant keep his hands off you in private/semi-private. is pretty vanilla at first but he finds a spicy book and is very intrigued. learns he has a breeding kink very quickly and is very into choke play and control.

First and last love, if you ever leave him(haha you wont), he will probably never get attached to anyone romantically ever again.

Very protective and will keep you out of his 'darker' business, like the chamber and his followers and plans, wants to keep you innocent, to have something that isn't total darkness and evil. now if you're into that kinda thing he wont stop you, but he will keep you away from it all just in case.

Cold hands-will warm them up between your thighs-thick or not.

Has naturally curly hair, and only lets you see it-everyone else gets the polished hair gel look. it took him months to let you see it-but once you proclaim your love for his natural hair-he makes it a point to let you see/play with it before he puts his gel in/after he washes his hair at night.

can and will fall asleep on you, esp. if you're playing with his hair or scratching his scalp/neck, arms fully wrapped around you and konked out, very cute panther lookin ass.

steals ur pillows and switches it with his(he has good pillows and washes his bed sheets/pillow cases routinely)

mayhaps have stolen one of your blankets...you're not getting it back.

will help you do any homework you have trouble with, might even let you copy his homework for a price(wink wink fr this time)

by the end of 7th year, and you're still together, fully plans to buy a ring and marry you. no doubts about it.

So how would anthro scavs function? And what would happen if arti encountered one?

This is a hard one for me and one I don't have fully figured out!!! This is a bit of a long explanation, and its going under the cut- and additionally a small warning for discussions of genocide (but just discussion, nothing too loaded)

Also note that I'm coming at this from the perspective of a bio nerd who really likes thinking about how non-human creature's brains might work.

For starters, you can't really do a 1-to-1 version of what Artificer and Scavenger's relationships are as creatures as fully sapient, human-aligned anthros. Both Scavengers and Slugcats are primitive and non-human- while they're smart, especially for the average animal, they aren't at all people or going to think in things in people term and morals, and its also really boring to try and force them straight into that mold as little animals. I think it would be a bit disingenuous to call a non-anthro Artificer's relationship to scavengers outright genocidal- its certainly not okay, but genocidal to me carries a certain human weight to it I do not want to ascribe to what I still largely characterize as an animal acting as a particularly destructive animal. Artificer, to me, is much more like a dog that is so overly reactive and hostile to a specific thing to the point of it being unhealthy and unfixable than they are to a person rationalizing the intentional execution of an entire group of people. Slugcat pups can feel bad about killing small insects and avoid doing it, but I don't think those slugpups are more morally attuned than the ones that shove handfuls of centipedes into their little mouths without second thought.

In terms of non-anthros; slugcats, for me, are an animal thats intelligent and social enough to understand things like pain and harm and often express empathy for that pain and harm, but they don't really have any sort of moral compass associated with it. Artificer understands that they are harming scavengers and causing them pain, and its really not much more complicated than wanting to do that because they hurt them and they're retaliating (with each counterattack by the scavengers reinforcing that drive further.) Scavengers are a step above slugcats, having a little bit more formalized culture and rules, not quiet human (or ancient, i guess) level but certainly on track- but much like people they see other creatures as a different thing rather than peers. Slugcats aren't 'another intelligent species' to Scavengers so much as they are viewed similarly to lizards or any other creature, but with more capacity to prove itself a good and well behaved thing just as much as it could be something unsafe to interact with. It's maybe bad to kill a random animal (slugcat) unprovoked, but certainly not as bad as killing a fellow scavenger (your peer). And while you can probably trust another scavenger you meet to be well behaved individual you can interact with, a random animal (even if that animal just offered you items in bargaining) you find should be assumed dangerous.

So the Artificer/Scavenger relationship is a sort of odd one to convert to anthro, because you can't really… do Artificer as Artificer is without discussing what their relationship to scavengers is. But once they become sapient animal-people with some level of human perspective on morals a 1-to-1 execution would, yeah, make Artificer a genocidal maniac. Which is both not something I particularly want to work with/even remotely 'redeem' as a character, and in my option much more extreme than what they actually are in non-anthro form because there's now a different type of brain behind the whole thing. But you cant really leave scavengers behind (aka, keep them more animalistic) either because that just feels… wrong, given how I just argued that I see scavengers are more advanced/closer to early humans than slugcats.

I haven't quiet worked out the solution to that problem, other than whatever it is the most important detail is that Artificer's anger is unchecked and misdirected- It has to be a wildfire- it can't be focused and sensical it has to be something that hurts far too many that had nothing to do with them. But I know how I don't want to do it, and thats making them someone who was genocidal/racist but "got better" or whatever. Thats kinda a bit much and like I said, I think it misses the mark on exactly what is going on their little animal head.

It also doesn't help that I haven't fully figured out how far I wanna slide the anthropomorphized scale. Full-furry generally suggests a sort of human outlook on things, but you can also go the hollow knight route and make them human-like but still clearly not always following a "civilized" mindset. It's complicated! Especially when you have two species that technically don't 'start' at the same level.

I will say that Artificer here, as an anthro, is far from a good person with good views on things, even If I'm trying to avoid making them that reprehensible. At this point though they have sorta burned out (pun intended) on their anger and is technically less hostile and dangerous, but not because they had any real change of heart- it just stopped making them feel something. They're like… post game Artificer. They've done their work, dug their grave, and now their laying it half-awake and only half-reflecting. As far as they're concerned thats all behind them and they would rather pretend that it never happened, and most of that destructiveness has turned inward in various ways. Seeing scavengers nowadays are probably an uncomfortable reminder, but they're just gonna look the other way. To them, it was a different Artificer. (Hunter, similarly, is also in their "post" game. They did their big mission (However that particular thing will get converted, lmao) and is now just in the worsening stages of their sickness trying to work out how their life is gonna go now that a large part of their sense of self is literally rotting away from them. Also not a great place to be but definitely more emotionally stable than Artificer is, even if Artificer comes off as more self-assured and better off)

ADMIN I GOT A JUICY. JUICY IDEA.

Remember the Slenderman ask. Welp. I want him as a stuffed animal now.

Reader is mostly the same, exept forrr... lets say they have children. And pets. It's up to your interpritation how they got em i trust you.

And lets say they're close. Real close. Like "you weren't home today so i came in and watered your plants" close. Domestic closeness. Talking so much they can sometimes predict what the other will be doing/saying right now.

Reader is very affectionate but obv respects slendy so they just turn to actions and words to show him they care(although it can be a little hard for them to truly know what they're feeling and how to express emotions sometimes).

So, one day Slendys brother(not that one through.) comes for a casual chit-chat. "So how are things with you and reader? Plan to move together any time soon?" "No, why would we do that?" "Oh well i just throught with the nature of your relationship it would ve the next step, naturally.. you've been together for so long!" "..we're not together romantically, if that's what you're implying." "...you're literally raising kids together what do you mean." "....w.wbhjat."

Cue panik. He goes to talk to reader and they're like. Oh shidt. It do be not so just friendly.

Can be just queerplatonic or romantic, both are cute i think:3

Slenderman x slender-being!reader !

genuinely dont know what all to title this post since its so specific so i recommend for anyone reading this who isnt the silly requester to read through the request ueueue rolls around, im gonna get silly!

honestly i dont think slenderman would know much about romance and marriage. like he knows what they are but he doesnt know... everything about it. especially if its in terms of human stuff, with the rings and all that. you know? mostly because he doesnt exactly leave his woods and the number of people/creatures he actually properly interacts with and forms bonds with is very rare and so far, none were romantic...

and yet here he is, tending to your home in his woods that youve made for yourself, while youre away doing god knows what... it would be a shame if the plants in your home dried, or dust started to settle... or worse someone wandering into it when they arent allowed inside... though, thats even assuming they even manage to get that far into the woods given how possess of the area slenderman is

since he doesnt really have a basis to... base your relationship around, it doesnt take until someone else pointing out the dynamic to him. namely, the creatures he calls brothers

are they actually related in admins au? were they just created by zalgo at the same time? do they have the same genetics? honestly admin hasnt decided yet but they still view each other as siblings!

that aside, slenderman would definitely be in some form of denial. him? this man eating monster who mostly lives in solitude? the same one who has never felt the embrace of another person (/j but now that i think about it....)

THAT slenderman?

hell i dont even think its proper denial because he thinks he cant have those feelings.. not i think its denial because this really cant be what it is, right?

this leads to him doing what he does best; silently following someone.. usually in order to spook them out of the woods or to... hunt... but this time, hes simply observing you, trying to figure out if you're in the same boat at him

but you're just so vastly different from him in nature and personality that its hard to pinpoint your thoughts... sure he can read minds; i think most slender beiings can do that; but i dont think they can do it on other slender beings you know

doesnt approach you about it though, so youre going to be the one to ask him what the hell hes doing... again due to limited contact with others hes not the best at expressing his feelings or thoughts outwardly, hell even inwardly its weird for him but thats aside the point

i think im going to leave the ending open on what becomes of your relationship; but i think given how the reader is, they invite him into their home to talk things out with him. are you surprised that he has a possible crush on you? ....only a little since again, this is THE slenderman we're talking about... less that he may have feelings for you, but more so that you just thought he was on the aromantic spectrum

and thats no diss to my fellow aros; honestly i can easily see slenderman being greyromantic or demiromantic :3 ... maybe more so demiromantic, me thinks

rolls around

the ideas are not ideaing i apologize

Writing Challange

For?: Anyone, but really I think it would be a pretty interesting study to have “anti-shippers” of the couples in question, to write these scenes.

Prompt: Re-write cannon scenes of popular “completely straight” gay ships that “fans created” and writers/showrunners/actors never encouraged or used as “queerbate”, as heterosexual relationships using the exact same actions and words and emotions as the original scenes.

Why?: I think it would be interesting to see just how many people would still see that particular couple the same way and how many would discover they actually do just have an aversion to gay ships.

I think that alot of people see the word “queerbaiting” and dont fully understand it. They take it like “oh they’re angry coz they didnt get their way, and they just want to make everything gay” … that is so completely not what it is.

Its understandable in a sense that the term queerbaiting isnt fully understood by all because theres no such thing as “straight-baiting” in television and movies. Its the actual complete opposite … when its a male/female relationship, its called a “slow-burn”, inferring that it will eventually become something. Its called “taking advantage of the actors chemistry” and while it is talked about and hinted at as a “will they/ wont they” its never actually in question because the majority of the time, chemistry reads are done between these actors for the specific reason of knowing “will this sell?” But when it comes to queerships, once upon a time they happened by accident. Actors were brought in with a different storyline and then something showed up on screen that wasnt intended and through that they discovered that there was this entire massive subset of fans who were not being acknowledged in life or on television … so they did exactly what they did with their straight relationships. They took advantage. They teased and hinted and wrote things that had they been a “usual” couple, would eventually lead to “endgame”. They encouraged the will they wont they of it all. Took advantage of that chemistry. The only difference? They never intended to give their fanbase that eventual outcome. They straddled the line of keep them invested but never encourage. And now? Now it seems that its become a requirement for shows, to have that one relationship that is strictly-straight friends, “which is so much more special then romantic love sometimes”… but they will still play off of it and benefit from merchandise and views and hashtags and everything that brings in a dollar from fans who are only looking for exactly what they’re calling it … “every kind of love” …. Why cant two women have a healthy faithful relationship? Why cant two men who are best friends, ALSO fall in love with each other? Why cant a character who has only ever identified as “straight” grow and realize that they’re bi or pan or gay? And why cant two people be both best friends and queer but also find love with other people? Why cant a queer man and a straight man have a healthy loving friendship that doesn’t have to end horribly? A big part of it is because of those words! Words that for so long have been used as homophobic slurs and still today in Twenty-freaking-twenty-four are used with hate instead of what they actually ARE which is how people identify how they LOVE . Words that the LGBTQIA+ community have taken back and fight every day to redefine with love and Pride and positivity, but that the “ entertainment industry” still shy away from due to a history of hate-filled, un-informed homophobia. An instilled fear that if they step over that line, then it will all fall apart. That the villagers will come with their torches and pitchforks and storm the castle so to speak. So they stay just this side of “not too far” and spout the company line. “I think its really important that we show every kind of love” but never actually doing that. Because the other company line is “who else can we exploit for a dollar?”. And its not new. The entertainment industry has always used queer people to their advantage. Once upon a time it was for the “hilarity” of a man or woman dressing in drag to get away with some scheme. Or it was about gay bashing and feeding into hate and fear by showcasing what a horrible insult it is to be called gay or how dangerous it is to be out. How sexy it is for two women to be together - but only to turn on the straight male lead. Now its become something along the lines of a joke again, but now the joke is “we know what we’re doing and we’re going to keep doing it because we’re profiting off of it, off of you.”

Queerbaiting isnt us seeing something unintentional or not there. Queerbaiting is this: if the same scene can be rewritten the same way but as female/male, and you can suddenly see it as romantic, its because the relationship is queer coded, to pull in specific fans.

Scripts are not just dialog on a page. While actors are sometimes given leeway, they are given a script telling them how to portray the words on the page. How to move, speak, emote. A director films this, re-sets films again multiple times until what is written comes across on camera the way it was meant to. This is all then edited even further to make things even more impactful and entertaining. It is then viewed and approved and only then shown to these “delusional fans.” This is all done knowing what reaction they will get from it. There are people who actually have the job of encouraging these ships. Of finding more ways to profit off of something that somebody else is in charge of disproving to fans by calling it unintentional. It is an industry, a business, nothing is unintentional. That is queerbaiting.

Challenge: Just change one thing. One characters gender, thats all.

Go ahead and give it a try. Im honestly curious as to the outcome.

Also add some ships that you think apply in the tags!!

Anon who sent that ask about Eridan interacting with the alpha kids not long ago. I wanted to talk about it a little more particularly with Jake, both are gun welding hunters who love adventure. That'd probably be enough to kick it off for them, Eridan and Jake would love to share stories about their accomplishments while maintaining a cool persona. They can talk about knowing Jade briefly, their hope aspect, the isolation they felt growing up, their drama with relationships, like how everyone is wants Jake and no one wants Eridan, how blue bitches cant be trusted! There's so much they could discuss! Roxy and Eridan is pretty obvious with the many interests and personal struggles they share. Such a missed opportunity they never interacted.

I don't think Eridan per se loves adventure as much as Jake has. But his hunting and FLARP sessions, make him active in going out to dangerous places and killing someone when threatened. But it would be kind of cool for Eridan to share his stories about his FLARP games. It would definitely boost Eridan's ego and confidence that someone is willing to listen to him. Both can sympathize about Jade living on island. Though Jake knows that Eridan bothered Jade mostly to hit on her, he like to believe he notices that Jade was alone and tries to at least keep her company because of her isolation. Eridan sending Jade his rifle was also necessary too. Eridan would probably be confused on concept of grandparents, but Jake would help him that it's not too bad to have an extended family or someone of the opposite sex to raise you. The relationship drama of everyone wanting Jake and nobody wanting (that close in matesprite/kismesis) would also be an interesting one. Though Jake is definitely a better person in terms of personality, most of his friends only want him for dick and sex, not him as an actual person who has his own interests and problems that can't be solved by love. On the other side, Eridan is not the greatest person due to how he was raised to believe that status and power is what determines your worth. He knows he bitches and wwhines to others about his problem, but he wants to genuinely want to help others. Just that either the other party doesn't want to explain about their own issues or Eridan's approach to things is not seen as great. Both can help each other. Eridan helping Jake stand up to tell his real feelings to his friends while also giving a chance to be in better terms with them and Jake helping Eridan to be a less shitty person that he may start to see that his old beliefs were not as great as he thought.

Blue bitches can never be trusted. I like to imagine either Eridan seeing how Jake interacted with Jane or Aranea, he would be asking Jake if he is aware that even with his love for blue-themed, the girls' personalities range from clingy to 8oring(at least in Aranea's case). Yeah, Eridan would think Aranea is a nice Vriska, but he would be bored with her always talking that he can't even get a say or word to really rile her up and start hate flirting. He prefers a challenge from his partner and Aranea probably won't give him that. Eridan would advise Jake to stick with humans that just have similar white Caucasian matching color as him. And if Jake addresses there is more than one skin color tone, than Eridan shrugs and say fine because most of the monkey humans look all the same to him. Maybe have a meta joke about how even if the acknowledgement of other races or people interpreting the kids as other ethnicities, they are still kept in the same art style. That it would be easier that if someone thought they were black, they would make it more obvious in the overworld sprite. Jake may say something that standardize sprite look is just a base for others to view however they want, but Eridan argues that it is stupid and whatever is shown to him(and the viewer) is what it is. If they have the time to make a stand in, then they would have the time to give detail to make it known said person is a different race. Either everyone can be seen as this or nobody seen as it. Can also be funny to imagine that Jake notices Eridan's crush on Roxy that Eridan would try and ask for help on how to be less of a dick and be a true gentleman. Jake does so on trying to be a decent man. Some parts may make Eridan feel embarrassed or question if it even works, but Jake does genuinely want to help and believes that things like that are one of the steps forward to be a better person. Eridan would probably hear about Caliborn being his genuine friend compared to others. The troll would agree in some parts with the Cherub, but question about his approach on trying to get Jake to acknowledge his own problems and get him to fully stand up. Or question if Caliborn is any better because his fondness for Jake mostly stems from the destiny thing that would lead to Lord English's existence. That he would be no better than Calliope on using people to lead to his existence and his goals. Eridan thinks Caliborn is like Karkat, but Caliborn holds nothing back on calling out Eridan's bullshit and denies that he is has any familiarity with the mutantblood nobody, which Eridan tries to at least defend Karkat's honor as a friend, despite knowing that Karkat may still hate Eridan for what he did. Eridan and Caliborn would be at odds on how to approach things with Jake and the rest of the Alpha Kids. But soon enough, Eridan and other trolls(Equius, Nepeta, and Feferi) time with the Alpha Kids starts to improve without Calliope and Caliborn's involvement. That the Alpha Kids doesn't need to depend or listen too much of what the Cherubs had to say, picking up on their true intentions and goals. Eridan would happily mock Caliborn, the 'kar wwannabe', that he can't do shit towards Jake or anyone else. Maybe it is at that point, Caliborn would acknowledge Eridan as another Hero of Hope to face him, calling back to Eridan's old prophesized destiny and knowing he can't underestimate another person like Dave, who was given this same goal too as the Hero of Time. Though Jake English may have been the one of the people that would give the name Lord English, he can't deny other timelines where other heroes had been given a chance to bring LE down. Sure they are doomed timelines, but they were still given that choice if the slight chance something breaks the usual cycle. There's so much Homestuck could have done, but failed by the end. At least we have fanfics. So feel free to make those What-If scenarios and Fix-Its. To show others that a series like this could have been better if given enough thought and time.

I have two sins that somwhat cohenside:

As a Cole stan for life I despise the Cole is gay HC and have had to abandon the tag because of its prevalence. Lavashipping is a NOTP and of all the art and edits I've seen polluting my Cole tag I still cant see any chemistry or dynamic between them besides they are both attractive. All the ninja ships are incest vibes (not just the gay ones. Looking at you Braincellshipping) to me as they treat eachother and call eachother brothers but at least there was tension and chemistry between the old days of Bruiseshipping. Lava's prevalence online had me quit for a long time as I couldnt understand why it randomly gained such traction and then showrunners made the dumb idea to try and bait fan perceptions in crystalized. I see cole as somewhat aromantic (although the term is mostly meaningless and used to describe anyone who is uncmfortable or disinterested with romance without analysing the deeper psychological reasons that might be the case) but he obviously wants to be a father and I don't see how any of his defined traits attribute to being the fans gay stand in besides the fact that fandom always has the urge to pick one to be the LGBT mascot and create content that isnt there simply for their own self indulgence. I like Coliel (if anyone remembers Seliel) as it leans into Coles obliviousness to advances while it shows off his honorable and protective personality. I don't find Cole particularly coded LGBT in any of the seasons up until Dragons rising, which the episode focussing it was badly written and OOC.

My other "sin" I suppose is I disown ALL of DR for being a horrible soft reboot that does everything a soft reboot shouldn't: messing with preestablished lore in an attempt to prop up these random new characters as just, if not more, powerful than our protagonists. The new writer has a horrible track record with character ensemble shows like TMNT 2012 and its a worthless slap in the face continuation of an ended series. The diologue is horrendously tacky and most jokes dont land. The push by the writers to add in fan characterizations and expand the lore beyond whats established is lazy and uninspired. There is so much left to explore in Ninjago the way it was. We never went to most of the continent but why try to write compelling stories and dramas with an already defined map when you could throw everything out the window and make your own sandbox, shoehorning it into Ninjago regardless on how ridiculous it looks and feels.

*exhale* alright. I lot to get through here.

there is nothing wrong with not HCing cole gay, especially if you seem him on the aro/ace spectrum. I'm in the exact same boat. And just because there are very prevalent gay interpretations of the text does not mean you have to adopt them, or watch them with that subtext in mind. The true potential episode can obviously really easily be read as a coming out allegory, and a lot of people have latched onto that. And good for them!

But it's just as easily read as a story about defying your parent's expectations for a career path- especially if that's something you can relate to. I think the episode works even better in that respect (cuz that's kinda more directly what it's about, but also) because it adds in this layer of also respecting the place where your parents came from and make their living with. Honestly, I didn't see any gay coding on my first watch through of that one dragons rising episode. I saw Cole's relationship with Geo as much more of a mentor/mentee thing, probably because he's typically taken on a father role. I thought Geo and Sora had more chemistry honestly, with that one scene where their bonding over rejection. That's the beauty of media, multiple interpretations! It sounds like you're letting the fandom color your viewing experience, and that's your problem. The crystalized kai/cole stuff can just as easily be read as brother shenanigans. Don't let fanon make things canon for you if you don't want them to.

I'm on the same page of not shipping the core 4 together. The early seasons were directly focused on their brotherhood in my view, so I get it. But, let's not begrudge people their imaginary LGBTQ rep. As far as I understand lavashipping took off cuz it's the only gay pairing of the main characters who could still potentially be canonically shipped together. Jaya and pixane are pretty set in stone, and lloyd is pretty much off limits. But kailor is very iffy in canon, and cole has never had a love interest. And even if I don't ship it, I can see the value of people having some level of hope that the show might give them some rep. But again, none of this means you have to ship it or feel bad for not shipping it.

Second, you've got some unique opinions on dragons rising. Cool. I don't think you're completely invalid or anything, but I do think some of these opinions might be a little biased?

You're mad it brought back the... finished tv show? The show that finished with crystalized? The worst possible ending of the show? Honestly, it wasn't that much more conclusive than other seasons. Ninjago has always struck me as an evergreen property- a world with endless adventures in it. To begrudge future stories for existing seems a little selfish to me. Ninjago should be a property that new kids can get into for years to come. I've got some problems with what dragons rising has done. I don't think the merge was the best way to go. I hate how needlessly small it makes everything feel. I think sora is a little too chosen-one-y. There are things to criticize here. But it's pulling a lot off. I think it's balanced screen time between old characters and new characters pretty well. It's established a fairly unique identity for itself, which can be a real struggle for sequel content. Again, I think you're coming into it with a distorted fandom lens which is making you hate it more. Not to say that you're wrong, but you're feelings associated with your opinions may be a little exaggerated.

if you have a sin you would like to confess, please direct it to @ninjago-sins

i feel like i dont see women in this position talked about often on radblr so here goes. feel free to ignore this ask if you dont want to answer it. but i just wanted to say that, damn, its really hard to be a woman in a long term, happy and loving relationship with someone who comes out as a trans woman years into the relationship. i was a die hard tra and now im... not. i have so much guilt all the time and nobody to discuss things with. i never thought in a million years i would be agreeing with 'terfs' and yet here i am. and yet i love my partner and am so happy with them. and yet i also cannot delude myself into believing gender ideology anymore. i feel like no matter what road i take i wont be being true to myself. i dont want to leave but it feels wrong to stay, like i'm tricking them into thinking i believe it when i don't, but i dont want to ignore my own thoughts and feelings and just go along with it either. every time a male pronoun comes into my head when i think of them i feel guilty. guilty of thoughtcrime! the only people they have come out to is their friends/our mutual friends, so i cannot speak to anyone about how i feel. every day i wish i could go to my mom and just tell her how i feel. i wish i could speak to other women about this, especially women in heterosexual relationships. but i cant. my partner doesnt understand how isolating it is when they have lots of friends (incl. trans women friends) to speak to and i have no one in my life who knows except the mutual friends. the few times i've brought it up ive just been met with 'but what would you want to talk to them about' as if idk.. im not supposed to have thoughts or feelings on my long term partner changing so much about themselves? i honestly think much more women would 'peak' if they actually sought out trans communities. going on r/mtf to learn how to support my partner was very... enlightening.

Oh wow, I don’t even know where to start with this one. This sounds like a really difficult and confusing thing to go through so firstly I really hope you’re okay.

You fall in love with people so of course it’s understandable that part of you wants to stay and that you have strong feelings for them. But also it’s important that you can’t keep pretending to be someone you’re not and lie about being accepting of gender ideology. That must be exhausting to keep up that lie, especially when you have no one to talk to about it.

Even regardless of your views, so many people leave their trans-partners despite being trans accepting. It’s confusing to watch someone change drastically, when you fell in love with a version of them that they aim to distance from. And the fact that they are being dismissive of the fact you want to talk to people about it is a red flag.

Obviously I don’t know you, I don’t know your partner or the full details of your situation. But if I were your friend in real life, I would ask you if you could see yourself living like this in the long run. It’s tough because feelings of love get in the way of logic, and people tend to reminisce about their partners old self. But definitely keep your mind focused on the present and future and what is best for you long-term.

Wishing you the best, you can chat here any time, it’s definitely something that should be talked about more on here 🫂💖

hii taking you up on your advice offer 😭 ur poly so maybe u have more experience with this than me, how would i break up with my longterm partner?

we’ve been dating for 2 years, it really has seemed perfect but lately idk its just felt wrong. we’ve kinda planned our lives around eachother and moving in together once we graduate, but i cant make myself want to kiss them or be romantic anymore, i dont want to respond to their texts, i get annoyed at them for no reason. they havent done anything wrong theyre wonderful its a “its not you its me” situation to a T.

all of our friends are mutual friends, but most of them were technically my friends first (all the people they used to hang out with sucked) so im scared if we break up they wont have anyone to talk to about it. i really dont want to hurt them.

i honestly might realize this is just me being dumb and all of this will pass and ill want to be with them still once it does, but since i have no clue how id break it off i feel so trapped. i want to know i have a way out if things dont get better, i want to stay with them because i truly changed my mind not because i didnt have a choice.

Not in a poly sense but just a “have had a few relationships” sense I guess I can offer advice.

So I’ve never actually broken up with anyone before, except for the last guy I was messing around with (Catboy) just because as much as I had sooo much feelings for him it was like the most unhealthy “relationship” for me. Like I finally realized like “oh I’m actually NOT better off seeing him, my mental health is ACTUALLY worse” because of his shenanigans.

However, I did have a long term partner who I dated for 6 years who we had plans to move in together and get married etc. same kind of deal, all their friends were my friends. And they dumped me, and yeah, it was really fucking hard even though I knew everyone was going to take my side. And the one person who didn’t I ended up not speaking to anymore because I was like if you’re not going to realize that I’m the only one whose going to keep talking to you because my ex doesn’t give a shit about keeping in contact with people, then that’s on you.

I was devestated. This was like 3 years ago at this point and pretty much right up until about this year I felt like I was somehow “living in the wrong timeline” and like my entire life’s trajectory had been pulled out from underneath me. Not from the breakup so much as them just deciding they never wanted to speak to me again, that I was bad for their mental health, etc. which I always told them if I’m ever bad for your mental health then break up with me, and I meant it and stand by that and their decision, but it still fucking hurt.

Like if that’s what they had to do that’s what they had to do. If that’s what you have to do then that’s what you have to do. While I am of course resentful to my ex, and I hope they get hit by a car or something sometimes, I do stand by their decision that if I wasn’t good for them then I’m happy they left me behind. I don’t know if other people are going to have that same view upon being dumped. I mean like I said I still hate them. But to say that they should have stayed with me for my sake is hypocritical.

Not only that, but an issue of intimacy was occurring between us during the lead-up to the breakup. And as soon as I wasn’t with them anymore and I was able to be with Catboy instead I got a taste of what I had been missing and GOD it felt so good. For the first time ever I felt like someone actually wanted to be intimate with me. It was an amazing feeling. My ex dumping me opened up the door for me to have things I was missing in that relationship. So it wasn’t all bad, for sure.

You have to do what you have to do for yourself. You come first. If you need to break up with your partner, or take space, or whatever, you just have to go for it if you really think it’s what’s best for you.

I recently got a job as a mailman, mostly doing inter-city routes (which I'm very excited about, to be honest)! Because most of the work is being in the wilderness, it can become a sort of "ranger" role...the local mailman is expected to at the very least report on or defend themselves from any unusual Pokemon activity on their daily mail run.

That's all to say...they're providing me a ride Pokemon, a Gogoat, for work, but I'm expected to bond with and battle with it like any proper Pokemon trainer would. I just don't know how I feel about it--can anyone really bond with a Pokemon who they may have to leave one day? I don't plan for mailman to be my permanent career, and even if it was, the higher in the ranks you climb, the more you're focused on administrative tasks than physically delivering mail (and then there goes the need for your Pokemon).

I know this is pretty common practice where I live, anyway--Pokemon provided as a "tool of the job", so to speak, but it's always rubbed me the wrong way. What are your thoughts on it?

Let's put this in another format.

Jim the human man works with you every day. You two laugh together, you work together, you discuss your lives, your wants and ambitions, you become friends if your personalities click. Maybe Jim wants to do the same thing as you, climb to a different position within the company, maybe Jim just likes the daily grind and wants to focus on his family life more, maybe find a partner, settle down. Jim could really enjoy socialising, and may go see other people outside of work, aside from you, Jim may have a social life, drinking buddies, people he enjoys the company of elsewhere.

Would you feel so bad following your goals and ambitions if it meant leaving Jim behind? Jim the human would no doubt want you to do whats best for you long term, and i'm sure through your bonding, you would want whats best for Jim too. An additional thought, would you not bond with Jim if you knew you were going one day? Isn't it kind and polite to get to know your colleagues enough to sustain a happy relationship while on the job?

We often look at pokemon as beings incapable of independent wants and thoughts once they're caught and bonded with, as if they become unable to adapt or grow past that connection. They are in fact not as sentimental in some cases as humans can be. Many species come and go as they please in the wild, and while making friends happens, they don't dwell on it, and do what they want and need to do firstly. If this gogoat is in a job role, it's no doubt been vetted by higher ups to have a personality suited for the style of work too, plenty of laws prevent unfit employments from happening.

Don't view them as a tool, view them as a co-worker, a being that you clock in with, tackle issues with, share lunches whenever travels may take you. Sure some pokemon want a life partner, they want to stick with one trainer and never change, but not every species is like this, and that notion excludes a pokemon's personality too.

They are an independent being, treat them with respect and kindness, have fun while it lasts, and one day maybe you two will cross paths again, have a jolly reunion, but continue on your paths after. Not all relationships are built for the long haul, that doesn't mean they have to be strained or unpleasant. Whats stopping you two hanging out after work too? Say you shift job role, and the pokemon stays where its at to help the next delivery person, why cant you go hang out once you've clocked out? Just because jobs change doesn't mean you have to give up relationships.

IDK man, we assign a lot of human feelings to non-humans, but also, they're very capable, maybe its ok to just enjoy things while they last? I train a lot of pokemon to be sent off to work with others, we bond, we work and play together, they are beloved, each one, but they still have to go off and get on with their own lives and jobs. Doesn't stop some of them coming back to check in, doesn't stop me popping in to catch up when i'm in their area either.

maybe not the most convenient answer, but maybe loosen up a bit over it, it's ok to have temporary connections, doesn't have to be negative every time y'know?

Hi~ Your post on amatonormativity and aromantic reminded me that a while back I posed a similar kind of question to a friend which is “is it really inconceivable that a person can be content with themselves and being on their own? And not need another person to ‘complete’ them?” We eventually agreed to disagree and then I came across your blog and learnt about amatonormativity. I feel better that I’m not the only who’s tired of romance being so idealized all the time. Thank you m(_ _)m

Hi~ I'm glad my post made you feel better :D

I think that debate is more about point of view than objective reality - cuz to a person who puts romantic relationship on very high pedestal mere idea of someone not wanting romance is unimaginable. They just cant picture it cuz, to put it briefly: amatonormativityTM :/

But I know myself that it is possible to live life fully content without desiring romance. When I think about future, I can picture myself doing x job or y job; moving to another town or even going abroad (even if I currently don't want it). Picking up a new hobby or learning a new language. I'm scared of driving but I can envision a future where I do have driver's license. But for love of god I can't picture myself in long term relationship or married

We're defo not the only ones and let me say that it's not just aromantic community that's tired of romance being idealized. I've met few (straight) people that never understood why romance was treated as pinnacle of success and disliked when it was shoved down their throats. Ofc those are rare

Pervailing Relationship Issues in Solkat

To clarify, what i mean by pervailing issues is what issues do i think sollux and karkat would consistly struggle with as a long term couple in adulthood, roadblocks they run into over and over. Really, it's more the rules I keep in mind when writing solkat

Im getting back to the roots of this account; jabbering about headcanons and my partner and my roommate have already heard me talk about this and im not done

The pink text is a very long tanget I went on to try and rationalize a point to make it easier to skip, and the purple text is clarifying a part of my tanget for people who are sticklers for details

BTW this is basically me analyzing my own fics about solkat (still based on canon) you can see the way i attempt to execute this through my longest running fic Space Solkat but also just how i view the pair in a general sense

TL;DR they both suck at communication and at different levels of emotional maturity

And im not gonna be mentioning self esteem issue bc first of all thats par for the course and also not really interesting for me to talk about tbh, i really wanted to talk about shit that i find meatier and more specific to them as people.

Ive been toying pretty regularly with the idea that i think Sollux doesn't view his own emotions as actual emotions, i think any time he feels a certain way, he views it as cold hard fact. Whereas when Karkat feels something, its almost always irrational and never rooted in reality.

Normally, this is fine, but Sollux also tends to view things in the short term, and just go with whatever happens, positive or negative (i interpret this from the way he just sort of Goes With Aradia asking him to recover/play the game and then goes along with playing even though he didn't really want to and even if he's contributing as little as possible. ((Although yeah there's no way he'd have known the game ended the world and that's also why he did what aradia told him to, he had no reason not to trust her word)) but he frequently makes decisions on the fly based off nothing and will just stick by them; see not talking to humans because he *thinks* they're stupid and pointless, and he's wrong in the grand scheme, the humans have massive impacts on their lives and the game, and after he's blind and meets John, he still doesn't want anything to do with them. He also chooses to leave the meteor after seeing an alive Aradia without talking or mulling the decision over at all. He just decides to leave and doesn't take into consideration how this would effect his relationship with Karkat, Terezi or Kanaya, even though Karkat begs him to stay. I think to someone else, having one of your closest friends show that kind of emotion at you leaving would make you hesitate on jumping ship, but he seemingly doesnt). Karkat sees things in the long term understanding cause and effect and gravity of situations and decisions, and they often fight about this. Karkat will try and show Sollux things that are actually objective, but because Sollux views Karkat as an unreliable narrator, he rarely listens, even when Karkat is actually right about something.

The thing is though, that Sollux will view Karkat's emotion as irrational, but at the same time does put some stock into them. Often times he "cant deal" with karkat when he's emotional, not because he cant handle emotion in general, but because he knows he'll be swayed by whatever Karkat is feeling and views this as corruption of his "facts." While he typically comes out of most topics with the correct opinion on things (see: not-bigoted) he still has the flaw of comparing emotional with unintelligent.

Sometimes its subliminal though, he'll be influenced by Karkat's emotion without realizing it and this only happens really when they *arent* fighting. Basically, if Karkat is trying to convince Sollux, he won't listen, but if Sollux is just listening to Karkat vent about something into the void, he takes note of that and it will subtly color his opinions about things.

He DOES view Karkat as intelligent though, so i think he'd be really frustrated by how little Karkat composes himself in times of stress, he's upset by Karkat's inability to be measured.

Even still, it's not any secret that sometimes Karkat will let his emotions get the better of him, sometimes his decisions are clouded by passion, but he almost always stands by decision even if he wasnt thinking clearly when he made them. Partially because you have to own up to what you say/do even if there is a situation in which you wouldnt do them, but also i think theres a tiny bit of stubbornness and pride in not wanting to admit to Sollux that he was right, he did let lose himself and his rationality.

Overall, I think a majority of the time, Karkat will cave to Sollux's emotions more often then vis versa, but when Karkat is right he's very obnoxious about it. This adds further pressure to Sollux not wanting to admit when the other is right/listen to what he has to say because he's going to lord it over him for the next week and Sollux is also stubborn and prideful albeit much quieter about it then Karkat is.

Their stubbornness and mutual pride also gets in the way of healthy communication though, especially with Sollux. Often times, he's too prideful to admit he needs help, admit he needs support and will drown in stress until he's about to crumble and *then* ask Karkat for help. This can easily be read as a lack of trust, and Karkat will often feel like he's doing everything he can, but the root of the issue is Sollux not communicating effectively about his needs.

Karkat is not innocent in this regard though, if something is bothering him a lot, but he recognizes it as a small thing, his long term thinking gets the better of him. "The tone he used with me when he woke up grouchy is not going to impact our relationship as a whole, I don't need to have a Talk with him about it." But it proceeds to bother him all day, the next day and the next until he's convinced that the relationship is falling apart and they need to sort everything out now.

I think that's everything I might add more but it'll be in reblogs

another solitaire theory i guess?

so, I was talking with my friend about Silent Hill's plot and she explained me that Angela's (a character from the game) final arc is really important to understand her trauma and why does she act the way she does

basically, when u meet Angela for the last time, u can see her on a ladder that is on fire, and she talks a lot about no one helping her get through her pain, because no one would have made it anyway. she asks James (the protagonist) to stay away from her and let her die in piece, so her pain can go away, then she kill herself..

I think this could be very related to the end of solitaire, especially because, like Angela, tori keep people away cause of her personality and pessimistic way, the whole book we have the impression that tori doesn't let people help her, she just run away from everyone, even Michael, and lie if someone asks if she is okay, cause she doesn't want to be a burden to her friends and also doesn't think someone will understand her perfectly.. if her pain doesn't go away, then why talk with someone about it? what would change if she does that? that's her thoughts in my perspective.

and, again, I think that fire at the end of both storys can be related to the perspective of "barrier"

the two characters run into the fire to hurt herselves and to stay away from people outside, and I think this can mean some things

fire, from my point of view, in both situations can represent a barrier that the characters put up from their internal world to the external world. they have already been so hurt that they have given up giving chances to the people around them, as they don't see the prospect of change in the short or long term. so they put themselves in a dangerous situation, which even hurts them, for fear of the external being worse

besides fire hurting tori because, there, she is in danger, its hot and she can like, DIE with a lot of pain, fire also hurts who tries to get closer. i think that this can be a metaphor to tori hurting Michael with her way to express her feelings, she act like she doesnt care to nothing and anyone and, as the time pass, Michael starts to get tired, cause he thought if she doesn't want him there and dont wanna be his friend, which is even the complete opposite. tori just is too scared to let someone get closer, but she loves Michael and appreciate he as a friend, she knows he is a good person and that he truly cares about her.. but she cant just delet her fears, unfortunately

but, even Michael being insecure about tori's feelings, he just RUN INTO THE FIRE FOR HER!! he pass all the barriers, the fire, her fears, everything, cause he wants to be with her. he loves her. and I think this is the most beatiful thing about their relationship

so, thats it!! i hope i am not going nuts with this but, in my mind, this makes completely sense lol

i am terrible at explaining my thoughts so... sorry if its confusing, i truly tried :,)

kisses!!

been thinking about this often so maybe u have insight on it

what was the relationship between hollow knight and the pale king in your opinion? i just cant stop thinking about whether it was like one-sided yearning for parental love met with stoic professionalism, or just something else...

Oh boy. Oh BOY. I've written a really long fanfic where this is explored heavily, I have some THOUGHTS.

So I'm gonna put this under a cut as I believe one of our mutuals has not yet beaten Hollow Knight and I don't want to spoil them, but ah

Okay, so. Uh. The first thing you should know is that Hollow is one of my two favorite characters in HK and I have so many emotions about them so this is gonna be long. The second thing you should know is that if I had to attribute a quote to PK's personality, it would be "The ends justify the means."

PK's thing is clairvoyance. Foresight.

I firmly believe that extends to having seen exactly how things end. Toward that end, I do not believe that he ever expected Hollow to actually last through what happened. I believe fully that he knew that Hollow was a thinking, feeling entity. My best support for this theory is the existence of World Sense. What use would this have for someone who felt nothing? Why give your unthinking object the ability to know the state of the world, unless you believed they were thinking? This argument can also be attributed to the existence of the fountain as well. Why make a monument to something you think isn't really thinking, feeling? Why honor it?

The answer is guilt, my dudes.

I truly believe that the Pale King knew damn well that his plan was never going to work, not long term. It was a bandaid. I believe his foresight showed him Ghost's arrival. Potentially what he saw was the Dream No More future, or you could argue that he saw the continued stasis of Hallownest, each vessel replacing one another in an endless cycle (which would explain the number of them). But I lean into the idea that he saw Dream No More ending, and therefore only needed Hollow to live long enough for Ghost to finish the job.

I subscribe to the concept that PK loved Hollow. Loved them enough to give them insight into a world they were not a part of -- as a desperate act of mercy and apology for something that he considered monstrous. Loved them enough to build a statue in his capital for them, a statue they probably never saw, but that his people did every single day, in hopes that their sacrifice would be remembered while he himself disappeared from public view. His own fountain is hidden in an isolated corner. He didn't want to be remembered -- he wanted them to be, though.

I also believe that what we see in the Dream version of White Palace is a metaphor. I don't believe void really killed PK. I believe guilt killed PK. Consumed by the weight of his decisions, he found a cost too great to live with -- but he could not, would not, back down from saving his kingdom. He did what was necessary, in his eyes, but he knew it for the evil it was, because he is fucking brilliant, and he's not a monster. He's a person stuck in a no-win situation doing the best he can to try and do damage control.

Did he make the right choices? We'll never know. And the greatest tragedy of it all is that: wondering what might have been, if decisions were different.

I actually explored some of what I view PK's motivations to be in the cost of life, which is one of my one-shots. :>

writing my final essay on the Beat Generation rn and that whole literary movement in america. and my essay topic is basically me arguing that bob kaufman Fucks and was the best beat. because tbh he was

but this also like. contains a lot of my distaste for the beat movement and that this course has really made me more.... like. i dont really like the beat movement much? i mean the biggest aspect of it, of the idea of freedom and no responsibility or consequences is somethin i dont like. most the other shit, bout sexual freedom and movement and anticapitalist n antimaterialist notions are all good. but the beats are just so inherently American. the underlying idea of freedom is SO inherently american in terms of like... the idea of it. its so very 'i can do whatever i want, whenever i want, and i dont care if it hurts other people because i value my freedom over the consequences or responsibilities i would be expected to assume.' its this idea of freedom in terms of absolute individuality and its far too self absorbed for me.

but another Issue i take w it was like. the movement was heavily inspired by black culture, and all about defying social norms and rejecting conformity. but there was still a major issue with norms in the movement itself or at least in terms of how media perceived it. like yes it was about liberty and freedom but also all the most well known beat writers are white dudes. many of them like kerouac held views of women as inherently lesser still.

and like. in that regard most of the most known beats who are like. THE beat writers. were kinda hypocrites. like kerouac didnt think women could write and when he met one woman who was a good writers he saw her as an exception. and with burroughs he was like, from an extremely wealthy family and was given an 'allowance' his whole life and never had to work and so his rejection of capitalism and the job market feels flat in that he can say all that from a place of privilege.

i mentioned it to my professor when we'd talk bout it but honestly the most authentic beats who didnt seem hypocritical or make the movement feel hypocritical to me were those who were marginalized and didnt have a choice in rejecting society. like allen ginsberg was one the Big Beats as well and to me he is the most Beat out of the main three of him and burroughs and kerouac. cuz ginsberg was an openly gay man in a long term relationship, he was jewish and lived on the fringes of 'acceptable' american society as an outlier.

it especially goes for bob kaufman. he was always left out of the beat movement and ignored and even in modern times doesnt really get the credit and recognition that he deserves. but holy fuck if anyone was ACTUALLY beat it was him! he was a black man with a jewish father. he created poetry without ever really writing it down besides on napkins and would 'perform' his poetry on streets and yelling out poems or sticking his head in peoples cars. he did not ever seek out publishing his work and he purposefully would confuse any publishers and would lie about himself and his life so even now some of the aspects of his biography is confusing. he wanted to be forgotten! he was never concerned with actually carrying on his work or creating it and there was something beautiful in that. he was constnatly accosted by police to the point that specific officers would harass and abuse him whenever they felt like it. he actually experienced a lot of the bullshit and hardships the beats rejected and criticised. many white beat writers chose to reject social norms, but he had no choice! theres something so much more authentic about the rejection of society when you by virtue of existing cant even exist within societal norms itself.

he was just. such an interesting dude. and the beat movement abandoned him because he was too far on the fringes of society that the public couldnt accept him. motherfucker wanted that, in a way, though. like he took back his silencing by silencing himself. he wasnt being forgotten or silenced or ostracized anymore, because he wanted to be forgotten.