#I DUNNO i just wanted to bitch abt this for some reason | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lollipopliccer · 4 months

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𝔄 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔣𝔢𝔩𝔱 𝔰𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔢 ❦

❦ warning lollipop chaos ahead! proceed with caution… ❦ light angst , happy ending , ex getō suguru , tattoo artist suguru , set in a tattoo parlour , soft dom geto , praise , cunnilingus , masochism , light sadism & impact play , ig semi public and i guessss office sex

the descriptions of this tattoo experience is not accurate, i dunno shit abt tattoos (even tho i rlly wanna get one). so don't bite my fucking dick off with the technicalities! lets just b happy that i acc posted this hehehe

word count ; 5k ish

black fem reader (still all can read)

lollipopliccer’s love letter ❦ … hiiiii lollipops 🪷 i just wanted to say thank u sm for the love on my debut fic i rlly appreciated it. i’m rlly excited for y’all to read this new one EEEEE. this one was also long as helllll (¬_¬), shit has just been ridiculous in my life rn so sorry abt the delay, i don’t even know y it took me this long just to write 5k ugh anywayyy. i’m excited, cus i always eat up geto tattoo artist head-cannons, mmmm they’re just so mm mm mm tasty. anyway this is my first time writing some angst, i usually stay clear away from any typa angst, i’ve already got enough of that in my life plss haahaa, i don’t even know what possessed me to dip my toe in it, but don’t worry it’s very light. okayy enough of the babble, pls enjoy my fic, and i’d appreciate all ur interaction, reposts, comments, feedback blah blah… mwah mwah mwah ( ੭ ˘ ³˘)੭‎°｡⋆♡‧₊˚

'i'm so excitteedddd' you squeal, as your best friend nobara parks her car, beside the tattoo parlor. you both had been planning your tattoos together for a few weeks now settling on the most beautiful matching heart design on both your bikini lines, whilst individually having unique patterns going through the (tatted) hearts.

"you better not fucking scream when you're actually under the gun" nobara chastises laughing.

"fuck you bitch, you already know i'm bad like that, not even gonna flinch" you taunt, as you both get out of her car.

you decided on wearing a fitted, short black dress, that accentuated your curves and hips but would also be easily manoeuvrable for your tattoo placement. shoko Ieiri your tattoo artist made sure you were comfortable with your design and placement.

underneath your dress, you wore bikini bottoms with side ties, for the same reasons as the dress - paired with some white trainers with pink embellishments. you complete your outfit with jewellery. including your pandora bracelet with silver and pink charms, a necklace, and stud earrings.

you both walk into the parlour, it's decorated all over its dark blue walls with a myriad of paintings, sketches, and different artworks. nobara leads you to the front desk as she had booked the appointment. you're greeted by a raven-haired girl with a short pixie cut.

"hey, are you guys here for your appointment?" she asks, as you notice her name tag- 'maki', and her tattoos and scars peeking through her top.

"yeah, um we had an appointment for 6:30 pm" nobara states, you can see her start to blush at maki.

"cool, yeah i'll check that out for you, umm..." maki responds

nobara so obviously interested in maki, decides to flirt, while you absent-mindedly look at the artwork placed across the shop. it's truly captivating, the deep dark hues and colours, so beautifully drawn, depicting what you could only describe as demons. they were more abstract than the stereotypical depiction, but these works somehow gave more meaning and conveyed more torment.

"so how long have you been working here, maki right?" nobara asks

"yeah, i started some months ago."

"that's cool, i love your tats”

“thank you, i um did some of em myself, nobara right?” maki responds getting nobara’s name from the booked appointment slot

“yeah…” nobara smiles shyly

“…are those your sketches up there? nobara asks, pointing to one of the sketches you've been staring at, there's a familiarity to the work displayed. but you can't put your finger on it.

"no um that's actually from another tattoo artist's, geto." maki answers.

you almost freeze, just from the mention of his name "who?!"

"uhh geto suguru, he owns the place, his artwork is all over these walls" maki responds to you.

a shiver runs up your spine "oh..."

"on that note, i'm sorry for the inconvenience girls, but shoko, your tattooist she had to take our other colleague gojo to the hospital- broke his arm doing some dumb shit. so she won't be able to actually give you your tattoo’s today, however we're able to swap her in for geto suguru, he just got back into town and is just as talented"

"shit" nobara turns to you, already knowing the issue from just his name alone, "yn i had no idea omg, i should've checked better, we can leave"

"nah there'll be no need for that, right yn?" you hear his voice. his silky deep voice, it always had that raspy quality that made your knees go weak. another shiver runs down your spine. you whip around.

"why tf are you here?" you sneer.

"uhh i work here…" he answers deadpan.

you turn back around, after giving him a lethal sneer, "hey um maki is there any other artist today?"

"no, i'm sorry, everyone else is booked." she apologises

"and anyway, it'll be a hassle for you guys if you were to reschedule," geto states

you simply stare at nobara refusing to even glance at him.

"come on yn" geto insists gently, leaning closer to you. your back to him. your name on his lips has you reeling, how softly he calls to you, like no other.

nobara waits for what you want to do, and if you're comfortable being tattooed by your ex in such an intimate area?

"let's get this done", you tell nobara, you turn around to face geto who has that enticing smirk.

as you follow him to his workspace, nobara hangs back reassured that you're comfortable being with your ex. you get the chance to truly take him in since last you saw him. his tattoo’s have grown, as he's painted a whole-sleeved dragon across his left arm, slithering out of his tight-fitted black t. your eyes roam all over his body, soaking in his confident stride, his height, taller than you remember. the way he ties part of his black, luscious hair in the bun is similar but different from the way you remember, leaving the rest of his hair to hang past his shoulders. but his right-hand tattoo is as you remember. a rose’s stem covered in thorns, wrapped around his hand, you can't help but still have your heart swell from that.

as he opens the door for you, you strut past him in silence, he of course responds with an eye roll to your petulance. his workspace is decorated with more of his works, some unfinished, yet so mesmerising you can't look away from them, they seem to depict a greater depth, too intimate for the outer world. the deep hues of dark royal blues, blacks, and green meld together, casting an otherworldly aura. the demons here have this eerie elegance, their features subtly tormenting, evoking such sorrows.

"if you're not comfortable with me tattooing you, we don't have to, i will let you reschedule free of charge-" "i know." you state, without hesitation. and with that, the silence returns as geto smiles slightly, he then grabs his equipment, lining them up, his needle gun, ink, etc.

"why did you insist on me not rescheduling then?" you taunt

"i wouldn't say i instisted" geto defends.

"mmm really? cus i'd even say you implored" you smirk. seeing you smile… he wonders how he could’ve forgotten how magnetic it is.

"i just wanted to see you…”

a pause.

"you broke up with me." you interrupt coldly, both of you are reminded of your separation...

… you begged him to stay. the pain you felt completely consumed you, leaving you empty…

geto holds your gaze. your eyes filled with anger, but also longing. you try to conceal your feelings by turning around.

"yn..." he calls out to you, but you ignore him, seemingly too entranced by a random splotch on the wall, while trying to hold it all in "...yn look at me", geto approached.

you turned around slowly. almost stubbornly, you made sure to look him in his eyes, those deep dark orbs that never failed to suck you into a world of intensity and sensitivity. you both hold each other's gaze, so much said between each other, longing, and regret.

"i am sorry yn, i-" in his attempt to express his apology, you immediately stride past to sit on the tattoo bed, too overwhelmed.

"-right so like from a scale of 1-10, 10 being i'm gonna need to b fucking sedated, how painful is this tat going to be" you ramble, trying to divert the conversation.

you ignore his sigh, as he walks to his chair. he then chooses to focus on preparing his equipment, sterilising them, all that shit. "the tattoo shouldn't be that painful, especially as you requested numbing cream."

"cool" you respond curtly, you follow his actions on focusing on the task at hand, and lift up the side of your dress, to expose the side you were getting tatted on.

when geto looks back he sees your pink bikini bottoms with string ties, he looks away trying to keep his composure "just want you to give me an idea where you want your heart and thorns”.

you clear your throat a little, to try and calm your nerves, “um just around here, i trust your um artistic inclinations. have some freedom with it, i know its kinda simple but i um- the thorns i want them to wrap around, please.”

“of course, yn”

geto trying his best to make this experience as comfortable as possible begins applying the numbing cream. he looks you in your eyes, to see if there were any remaining apprehensions, finding none, the gun comes to life.

“you tell me how you’re feeling throughout this process, if anything feels off with what i am doing, you tell me, do you understand?” geto instructs, his firmness, and apprehension to cause you any unnecessary harm stirs things in you. things you’ve tried repressing, tried to move on from, evidently unsuccessfully.

you nod in response adding a “yes”. and so begins the process, as geto brings needle to skin, his art begins to mark you. the initial twitch of pain you feel is subdued by the numbing cream generously applied. although you can’t help the slight yelp that falls from your lips, which geto catches onto and immediately soothes “shhh it’s okay, the cream will kick in soon won’t feel a thing hun”. his words soothe you, as they always used to, leading you to simply whimper in slight pain. you can’t help but look at him, at how he’s completely focused on your brown skin, that he marks by his hands.

…

as the hours go on, you slowly see geto’s work, his art come together, the red hues of the heart mixing together with slight pinks but also contrasted shades of black, to provide it with such depth, teasing the later depictions of darkness the thorns will add. you are in complete awe of this man, of his work, as you watch him work completely zoned in, despite any dull pain mumbling under the numbing cream.

as your focus lays on him- memories, old feelings of pain, sadness, and confusion begin to bubble again, and you blurt…

“why did you leave?”

a pause…

followed by silence… your demand for answers hanging over you both, while he still remains focused on your tattoo, you remain waiting. you know he heard you.

“i found myself in darkness again, yn, but that time it was even more challenging.. my hallucinations, my night terrors all came back, i was in it deep…” he pauses trying to find his words, and you give him that space “… i knew you were there for me, holding me when i woke up screaming. you stood by me…” he paused

“…however i couldn’t let you do that, i couldn’t bring you there with me. not when i couldn’t wear a heartfelt smile in this world. i needed to find myself again, my purpose. and i know the way i left you, was cold, and confusing, and i am truly sorry, but i had to do it for myself.” as you listen attentively, watching him intently, he slowly gazes at you, pausing his work. your eyes meet with such intensity, such ache, and you start welling up, finally understanding everything, no longer being left with nothing but a cold departure.

“i’m sorry- m’so- ‘m so so sorry geto” tears cascade down your face, geto is quick to wipe them away, softly holding your precious face.

“sshh, ssh baby, don’t be silly mmm, you did nothing wrong, and i’ve been doing better. so much better. finding new channels to express how i feel, what i see.” referring to the intricate art that decorated his walls.

you sniffle, you feel so guilty and ashamed, for the resentment you harboured against him when he was out there trying to fight his way out of such a dark mental space. “they’re beautiful.” you sniffle

“not a day goes by that i don’t think about you, that i don’t regret the way i left. i would’ve come back but i thought you would move on...”

“i didn’t.” you respond

“neither did i.”

with your admissions to one another, a comforting silence fell, filling the room with sweet serenity, and you both found yourselves tethered together once again, holding each other’s gaze, filled with yearning.

you were the first to break, averting your gaze, feeling like it was the first time meeting, how your butterflies bloomed and fluttered, riddled with carnal hunger for him. the paradox of your feelings for him always consumed you, almost driving you mad, only geto could set you so ablaze.

the needle resumed its course, mechanically piercing your skin. both your attentions returned to their original positions.

the only difference being the shift in the atmosphere, the reignition of your feelings for one another, but this time at a tenfold from the time spent apart, wanting no other.

“ahh it’s getting a little sore geto” you whine in slight pain

“sorry yn, we’re moving onto the thorns now, we’ll soon be done, why don’t you take a look at it for me, tell if you don’t like anything?”

as he wipes over the completed heart, filled with colours and dimensions, so deep and beautiful, truly depicting more than you could imagine, it’s medium-sized maintaining a slight cuteness to the art, but still depicts chaos within, which geto clearly understood about you, and so was best to depict it.

“i love it.” you squeal, looking into his eyes, as he looks for reassurance from you. his vibrant smile brightens his face, you hadn’t seen it in so long, and it warmed you.

“good, we’re going to move to the thorns, wrapped down your thigh, why don’t you tell me about your choice of thrones?” geto asked so he could understand your thought process behind the tattoo.

you were apprehensive to reveal your thorns, largely from a place of embarrassment. you didn’t want to show how much he had affected you, and still did, but you did not want to lie to him especially after, he revealed himself so intimately to you.

the thorns, um, i got them from you…” geto halts at this, looking at you in slight confusion “they stemmed from me just wanting to have a piece of you still with me, something that i remembered, that reminded me of you… the thorns, the ones you have on your rose.” in explaining, you feel bold enough to touch the inked rose on his right hand, grazing your fingers over the thorns

suguru can hardly conceal his feelings. “i missed you.” geto states. his dark, sleek eyes told you how he burned for you.

“i missed you too suguru.” you whisper. your feelings flood your body, making you tingly- his intensity holds you in place. you’re both focussed on one another, suguru begins to smile feeling the warmth of your fingers touching him so delicately.

"lets continue your tattoo, i don't wanna fuck it up" suguru states, slowly bringing his hand away from your touch, even though he wanted nothing more than to let you touch him all over. to feel how those pretty acrylics, decorated in bows and charms along his skin, but he didn't want to mess this up, he wanted to tattoo you perfectly.

"okay" you respond, almost dissapointedly. wanting to feel him under your fingertips. you'd settle for now to feel his hands on your thighs, holding them to get his angles right, you were beginning to realise that you wanted more than just to stroke his hand. you want him to mark you all over, with more than just his needle gun.

"you've gotta try and stay still for me yn, i know it hurts, but it'll be over soon" suguru soothed, as his eyes narrowed around the curves of your thighs, the way they flexed and trembled slightly as you whimpered due to the numbed pain.

"okay... can i hold onto you?" you ask. he responds with a nod. you grip his arm, wanting to feel tethered- you don't remember him being so well-built, his biceps feel thick and powerful, almost hard to the touch as he flexes per his movements.

...

you're now a few hours into the tattoo, suguru’s taking his time, to add such beautiful details. the tension between the two of you is palpable, but the air is no longer filled with animosity, but rather intimacy. knowing you though, and how impatient you are suguru already sees it coming when you-

"sug i'm fucking borreeddd" the numbing cream obviously doing its job to reduce the pain to something dismissible, suguru chuckles finding your impatience so familial and adorable.

"it's barely been two hours" suguru forever sassy, remarks, rolling his eyes at ur moodiness. "now stay still, you're messin up my work." suguru states, you huff and bite your tongue, as you don’t want to fuck up his flow, you already know he works best when he’s zoned-in on a task.

you decide to catch up with him, your curiosity building, you've both missed so much from each other's lives. "i like your parlour. i would've bet money you'd turn your art into tattoos, you were too talented to let your art hide in your sketches"

suguru smiles again, "yeah? it was either this or burning down the town", he jokes and makes you both laugh, due to the absurdity. however, you both knew, there was some truth to it, which honestly added to your laughs

"right, of course committing arson, and potential mass murder is an obvious alternative." you sarcastically quip

"what you don't agree, i know you're not much better at keeping your chaos in check," he teases, his eyes locking onto yours.

you feel yourself flush, feeling seen- so you try staying on track to your original plan to catch up with him, "when did you open this place?"

"well actually gojo was the one who invested in my passion"

"that's so sweet"

"yeah, he's a fucking asshole, always all up in my business," he remarks, with a small smile, feigning annoyance. you can feel the fondness behind his words.

you notice how suguru smiles, how he teases, just like he used to, & still has that assertive and confident allure to him, that natural dominance and assuredness in himself, that he almost lost. your conversation with one another continued, bantering off one another. you make each other laugh and snicker and your heart can’t help but swell.

...

your feelings for him set aflame once again. this time with a ferocity you could barely contain. only heightened by the dull pain that he controlled with his needle, marking you so prettily. the assured control suguru had over your body was so seductive, it made places other than your tatted thigh, start to ache, start to ache so badly.

finally, geto lays the finishing touches on your tattoo, clearing up the intricate lines, adding shadings and highlights, and then wiping over the tattoo.

"okay, it's done. you can go check it in the mirror, let me know if you hate it." geto keeping his gaze low somewhat anxious to see your reaction.

as you approach the full-body mirror attached to the opposite wall, you couldn't possibly understand his apprehension because when you lay eyes on your tattoo, you are completely awestruck. you fall completely in love with his markings, the way the thorns pierce through the heart and sliver down your left hip, and thigh, wrapping them gorgeously.

you are lost for words, your lips part with a gasp, and when you bring your eyes up onto suguru through the mirror, you see how he watches you. following from your thighs decorated in his work, marking your body so seductively. then he focuses on how your dress is bunched up on those hips, those hips he’s held, and soothed over for hours today, but his mind wanders... reminiscing about all those times he used to handle and caress all over your plump thighs. how he would mould your body any way he pleased.

he watched as you held the undone ties of your pretty bikini bottoms, it made him salivate. his eyes cast over your dress- the way it hugged your body so exquisitely, propping up your boobs so prettily. the way your butt peaks out of the bunched-up dress, and how your breathing picked up, flustered from his heated gaze.

"i love it sug." you whisper softly.

"yeah?" he smirks. growing bolder, he walks up to you, and you don’t dare avert your eyes from his, through the mirror. you love the way his top hugs his thick muscular shoulders. his broad upper back being so beautifully emphasised, and how his sculpted chest has his nipple piercings teasing through his top. you salivate at his slim waist. ugh he's such a slut. you love the way his body is perfectly decorated in his art, marking his skin; and adorning his arms, and his neck, which is wrapped with a chain, you remember gifting him.

when he reaches you, he has to crouch down, flexing his strong thighs and calves hidden under his baggy bottoms, but you still have to look up at him to maintain eye contact, which he demands with his own. suguru holds the bottom of your thigh just under where the tattoo ends.

"how does it feel?" he whispers into your ear, his sharp gaze still honed on you

you whimper faintly because of the dull sting and ache from the tat

"a little sore sug, but it feels good, i really like it." you say softly while you lean into him, wanting to be wrapped in his body, his warmth.

he smiles at your admission "that's good yn, i'm going to wrap it up now, don't want it getting infected." you love the way he says your name, the way he purrs, your name rolls off his tongue so tenderly.

as he wraps the tattoo you wince, he immediately soothes you, "i've got you baby, it's okay." your body relaxes in response. your eyes never leave each other. as the tension shifts you feel enthralled, wanting him to touch you all over.

"yn, do you want me to play with you?" suguru asks, having that condescending tone that never failed to make you falter. you almost shy away, but he holds your face, bringing his hand up under your chin, his fingers grip your cheeks slightly, making you look directly at him “i want to play with you, i want to help you forgive me baby...” he whispers into your ear. your breath becoming more uneven and flustered from his proximity, that you can practically taste his aroma, how he mixes his scents of minty, smoky notes and cinnamon, woody undertones - it intoxicates you.

“…do you want me to?”

geto waits for your response, not daring to touch you the way he wants, without knowing you’re aching for it. and you want nothing more than that, for him to take care of you how he once did, oh how you wanted to see if he still remembered how to make you cum so blissfully. you nod giving out a soft “please”.

suguru kisses the side of your head, sprinkling kisses down your face making you giggle and fawn, till he reaches your neck and you lose your breath. geto finds the sensitive parts on your neck, making you feel so tingly, it's almost ticklish. you almost forgot how much you loved when suguru kissed and licked across your neck, how he would bite and suckle, leaving you all marked up just how he liked. god he’d go fucking crazy for it too. to hear you whine and pant below him as he licked and sucked. it sent tingles all over your body, straight to your clit. you shuddered under him, leaning onto him- to give him better access to mark you. slowly he grips your hips grinding his bulge into you, he even bends you forward a little so that you can feel him, how hard he is for you- humping into you over your clothed body.

geto held you at an angle arched while both of you stood in front of the mirror so that he could have you grind right back onto his dick that was growing so achingly hard for you. the way he moved your bodies together was so disgustingly sensual, you had to look away moaning as you felt his clothed dick thrust into you, giving you that sensation you so craved. you were whining, you felt so depraved like you hadn’t been touched like this in so long- you just wanted him to rip you the fuck open.

“mmm nah baby look at yourself in the mirror…” he demanded, to which you stubbornly ignored, forcing suguru to grab your face so that you could look at how pathetically you had come undone for him, just from his dry humping. “… i said fucking look at yourself, mmm? you lost your manners baby?” he teases knowing exactly how to fix your attitude. he ends his command by giving your thigh (without the tattoo) a firm slap, making you cry out, you quickly try stifling it, remembering you’re still in his fucking workspace.

“you’re so mean” you whine and pout up at him, which makes him chuckle at you, his smirk unfurling so lewdly.

“i’m going to make it up to you mmm? you’ll let me make you feel good baby? gotta apologise for making my baby upset.” the way he talks to you feigning that concern, his fucking tone, makes you feel weak, and pliant for him. as you move your legs a little wider, and let go of your tied bikini bottoms so they hang down barely concealing a thing. geto watches how strings of your arousal are built up, clinging onto your pretty bottoms. showing him just how wet you are for him and you push your butt into him even more, nodding your head in invitation for him to remedy all the mess he’s made.

as suguru brings his rose-covered hand down to your aching pussy ready to soothe it. once he touches her, feeling your glistening folds, he hisses as his eyes glaze over, and lower so seductively. you see the way his hand flexes and his veins protrude. his long, adept fingers dip further, caressing and rubbing against your hard little clit. he can feel it pulse for him, making you whine as suguru increases the pressure of his fingers on your clit. circling around your throbbing bundle of nerves. his fingers collect the slick past your lips, down to your spasming, weeping hole, and brings them back to your needy nub.

his tight circles, pet your pretty clit so well, turning you into a mewling mess, you can’t help but move against and around his fingers, acting so bratty- but suguru couldn't give a shit, he'll mould you right where he needs you again holding you by your neck and continuing his strokes on that clit regardless of how you whine.

"sug- aaa-" such a petulant whine leaves your supple lips, begging for him to go further into your leaking hole, you needed him to be inside you, having your pussy drool on his pretty, tatted fingers.

"i know baby, you need it don't you? you need me to fuck you open mmm?" suguru whispers in your ear, kissing the outside of your earlobe so delicately, while saying such filthy things. you look at him through the mirror nodding your head so pathetically, and why would he deny you, his baby? nah never...

suguru brings his finger back down to your desperate hole. he eases around your pussy going around the edges of her, only dipping the tip of his finger. you can't take his teasing-

"sugu! stop teasin-" suguru immediately interrupts, plunging his fingers into you, making you gasp. he slipped into your soppy pussy giving off that mind-numbing squelching sound, having your pussy suck his fingers in so snuggly, has you moaning wantonly. the way suguru’s digits fill you, he’s able to add a finger, scissoring two fingers into your weeping cunt, the way he pushes in and curls his fingers to rub against your plush walls it has you mewling. as you feel him find and rub against that spot, that perfect spongey spot so easily, your eyes roll back. suguru was losing his mind, he rasped a soft moan right into your ear, he loved watching you buck on his fingers, the way you moaned and struggled to take him, it made him itch and drool to have you.

his fingers in your pussy stroking and pumping into your soft, wet pussy. his hand around your neck holding your face up to keep your eyes on everything he was doing. his deep, velvety voice right by your ear, whispering, and moaning sweet nothings. you were losing your fucking mind, you almost couldn't handle it.

"aaa- nngg, sug- sug!," you moaned shamelessly "f-ohfuck i can't-"

"sshh baby, tf you think you're doing mmm, whining like that in my office?" suguru whispers chastising you. your eyes look up at him, and the way you looked so doe-eyed, so pathetic- barely able to hold in your moans, gripped him.

"you struggling to take it for me baby, want me stop?" geto taunts, but you instantly shake your head needing him all over you.

“no please don’t stop sug”

"you can take what i give you princess?"

"i need you uhahh" you wanted him to have you however he pleased.

the way he moves has you humping and panting, you wine on him trying to get some friction against your slutty little cunt.

your moans grow louder and the pitch of your whines grow higher- you suck on your pretty fingers to try and get yourself quiet, your eyes glazing over as you watch suguru fuck you so good with his fingers and his hard bulge pushing up into you. the way he licks and bites all over your neck leaving a trail of his marks. suguru still never averts his dark eyes from yours. the purple glints in his eyes kind of sparkle in your head. all of it is bringing you right to the edge. your eyes roll back, your thighs shake, your knees buckle from the pleasure. so pliant and easy for him to manoeuvre you so he can hold you up and fuck you in just the right angles he needs, that he demands.

“fuckfuckfuc- aahh ohhhh sugie. daddy oh mmynghh” you whine and cry, your head lolling onto his shoulder.

right on the precipice of your orgasm, suguru watches how you get so close to cumming, he’s fucking salivating seeing how you become so undone, how you’ve gone fucking dumb on just his fingers, he can’t help but moan and groan right with you.

“mmm mmfuck, mine. mine.” he purrs, licking all up on you

but all too soon, it comes to a halt, and your orgasm gets snatched away from you. suguru wickedly decides to take his fingers out of you. you almost cry

“wha- no suguru fuck no don’t stop, mmmmnoo” you whine so pathetically gripping his arm, it’s fucking laughable trying to keep his fingers right where you needed them, gripping his sculpted arms so hard. your hands… the size difference makes him smile. no not smile, he’s fucking smirking. that little shit.

“fuck you, SUG HMPH!” you practically stomp your feet, pushing him away as you’re about to walk away, but of course suguru grips you against him, pulling you back so close, you are still as stubborn as ever refusing to look at him, while you’re face to face, which makes him snicker. he isn’t having any of that bullshit tho, he grabs your chin and cheeks squeezing as a warning. he pulls your face up to him again and kisses you on your forehead, the side of your head, and your cheek, and then he ghosts his plump, nude lips over your lips.

“if i decide you don’t get to cum on my fingers, you won’t. i don’t fucking care how close you are.” suguru states, locking his eyes with yours so intensely, while his lips and breath feel so close to your own, you almost feel faint. you want nothing more than for him to just kiss you, you want to feel his lips again, oh how you miss how soft they were, how you loved the taste of his mouth, the taste of the mint with his own unique feel.

suguru’s eyes flutter down to look at your lips so lushly plump and glossed he can’t help but lick his lips. he wants nothing more than to mess up your brown and pink lip combo. to bite, suck and lick all over you.

“tell me you understand.”

“i understand daddy, m’sorry i threw a tantrum, i just wanted to cum on your fingers so bad-”

suguru smiles feeling fucking delighted from your admission

“-can you please kiss me, i promise i’ll behave sugie” you whisper almost whining at the end, you rub your thighs together feeling how you made such a mess for him, as your slick trickles down your thighs.

suguru feeling so pleased with you, groans into your mouth, once your lips touch. he almost forgot how much he missed this. how much he missed you, your lips, those soft lips that melted against his. he loved the way you gasped and whined from your slow kiss, so sensual and intimate. but he knew you were such an impatient brat, his impatient princess.

demanding more, you lace your hands into his hair. you adored his long, luscious hair so much, (that you remember countless times joking about shaving it off at night and turning it into a wig. those playful moments would always have you both bickering and laughing together. it makes your heart swell remembering this).

you begged for more by stroking and tugging at the nape of his hair, making his body tingle, as suguru moaned into your kiss. he licked on your lips to get you to open up for him. he loves the way you whine and moan from frustration and neediness while running your fingers through his hair, it made him lose his fucking mind, so, of course, he had to express that by nipping at your bottom lip. his bite made you whimper and grind up against him but it wasn’t enough. you needed more. you wanted more. but suguru leads the kiss to hold that slow, deep and sensual pace, having your tongues dance together, lick against each other unhurried. which was mind-blowing but also so frustrating you wanted to just devour him, you couldn't get enough.

you moaned into his mouth as suguru sucked on your bottom lip, and then went back to your tongue, licking against each other. he spat in your mouth briefly separating your mouths from one another, and immediately resuming the kiss. at this, you snapped. whining wantonly, you gripped onto him and stubbornly clambered onto him so your legs wrapped around his waist. suguru was easily able to carry you. you were determined to make him fuck you.

“daddy” you whisper, opening your eyes to pout up at him.

“yes baby?” suguru answers, giving little kisses along your chin down to your neck. sucking onto your sensitive neck areas, he knew just the right spots to make you lose your fucking mind.

“i want you to fuck me…” you say grinding down onto the bulge you could feel through his sweats. you were sure you could feel a wet spot on them, but you weren’t quite sure of the culprit, as your wet pussy dragged and humped on his dick print leaking with pre-cum. you could feel his throbbing dick just aching to be inside you, pumping you full of his cum. suguru hissed from the feeling of your mess teasing his aching cock.

“… please baby, please fuck me again, i said i’d be good” you whined, moving closer to his ears so only he could hear how desperate you were for him. suguru moans, his voice breaks and rasps a little from you grinding on him and circling over his dick.

suguru fucking snaps, he closes his eyes while his mouth slightly hangs open, just taking in how your hips wined on him while he carried you.

he then cupped your face to him, “you’re such a fucking brat.” he moans, holding your face and caressing your throat, he watches how your breathing picks up, as you get so flustered. he brings you close, kissing you on your forearm, bringing his hand around your neck. then he carries you to his tattoo bed.

“i am not going to fuck you yn-.”

“-but su!” you begin to whine interrupting him

“be quiet.” suguru reprimands, gripping your neck just a little tighter after placing you to sit on the edge of the seat “i’m not gonna fuck you on my dick. when i have you like that, it’s gonna be on my bed, where i can have you screaming on it without any fucking interruptions. do whatever the fuck i wanna do without you getting all shy on me tryna muffle those pretty moans from me mmm, you understand baby?”

“yeah daddy” you answer feeling so giddy and light with him

“there’s my princess,” he smirks, “you’re really that fucking needy, want my dick here, right where my colleagues are downstairs mmm?” he says before kissing you again. “good girl” he praises while lifting off your dress and quickly bringing his lips back onto yours. slowly he brings you to lay back. he gets in between your thighs lifting one up over his shoulder while letting your tatted thigh rest over the edge of the bed. from this angle he could see your pretty glistening pussy, clenching around nothing.

“lay back baby.” he instructs, he sees how you wait in anticipation for him laying back on the bed.

he crouches down, kneeling in front of your exposed pussy, your slick brown lips he’s completely hypnotised by, they glisten from your wetness. you grow a little shy, you weren’t prepared to be eaten out today (૮꒰⸝⸝> <⸝⸝꒱ა). you bring down your hands to try and cover her up, feeling a little embarrassed.

suguru immediately dismissing your nonsense, and swats your hand away bringing them to instead hold your plush thighs “don’t piss me off today yn, it’s fucking mine.” you almost squeal in response to suguru, he gets so intense sometimes.

suguru is completely enchanted by your scent, the way your hole quivers and weeps for him he has to have a taste. keeping his eyes on you suguru takes the time to separate your folds with his fingers, he licks your swollen nub revelling in the way you gasp and twitch from the sensation, you feel so sensitive from the way his fingers had you shacking.

he then delves in, lapping and sucking on your bud making you writhe and moan from pleasure. the movement of his tongue has such an effect on your pussy, it's marvelling. he takes his time, really getting you sensitive, flattening his tongue on your clit and then straightening it to add pressure, circling perfectly around your bundle of nerves, it makes you gasp and arch your back so prettily

“fuck! sug-daddy aaaahhh” you release a raspy cry, gripping his hair and pulling him into you to, so you can grind on his face, which makes him moan into you, muffling a-

“fuck baby” into your wet pussy, he has to hold your hips down as you begin moving around too much for him to control, so he holds your thigh and places his other arm on your hip, pushing you down, so you stay fucking still for him to play with you properly. suguru brings his tongue down to your leaking hole, thrusting his pointed tongue into your pussy making you mewl and cover your mouth to stop yourself from squealing.

the way you’re panting and moaning, suguru can tell you're going dumb for him, aching to cum all over him. he takes his mouth off of you as your moans get higher. you whine from the absence of his tongue on your needy pussy but he makes up for it by spitting on her, letting his spit slide onto your sensitive cunt. the way his spit glistens and slides down your pussy, he pushes it back into your hole, thrusting his fingers and spit back into you. you react by clutching your thighs together from the sensitivity which makes suguru look at you sharply.

“open.”

you whine, separating your thighs, so he can dip his head back down onto your clit which makes you shudder, bucking your hips into his face. he continues thrusting his fingers into you while his tongue plays and toys with your sore little clit. you can feel everything, it's all so much, your eyes roll back as your mouth hangs open letting out a broken moan while you tug at suguru’s hair.

the way his fingers scissor your folds open, cunt drooling and sucking him in greedily, while he laps and lightly nips on your clit letting his spit drool on you, just for him to suck on your juices. he eats so sloppily it has your eyes watering.

“s’good sug—so fuckin’ good,” hips grinding into the movement of his lengthy fingers, chasing that ecstasy knotting in the pits of your stomach, you’re so close you start seeing white, suguru knows you’re about to cum from the way your fingers tangle and tug at his hair, struggling to either push him closer or away from you. his dark piercing gaze never leaves your face.

“daddy m’gonna cum! shit hah aa sug please lemme cum oh please” you sob, which makes suguru groan into your pussy. feeling the way your hole clenches around his fingers, leaking out so much wetness. the way your hard clit throbs for him, your juices covering, adorning his beautiful face, he looks so pussy drunk. the only thing on his mind is making you cum all over him.

“mmm baby, you gonna cum for me.. that’s my good fucking girl” he says pumping his fingers into you while moving his other hand to circle your clit in tight circles, so he can talk you through your orgasm.

“oh fuck daddy! oh my godnngh” your hands immediately grip suguru’s hands as you squeal and moan wantonly. your body arches and bucks as you dig your nails into him leaving little crescents on his skin. your vision dots, as your body tenses, lips parting into a silent scream as your release flies through you, wetting the tattoo bed. suguru watches your cream flow beneath you, all over his mouth. he pushes your juices back into your leaking hole, drooling at the way your hole squelches.

“there’s my good girl, oh you did so good baby mmmm” he praises lapping at your excess juices spilling down, you’re so fucking sensitive it hurts

“sug-ahh it hurts, fuckk” you whine, purring up at him as you watch suguru’s desire envelop you, you can tell he’s not done with you, but you doubt you could even take anymore.

suguru slithers up to you, kissing and licking up your boobs, making you squirm. when he reaches you he holds your face so gently, mere inches away from you.

“you forgive me baby?” suguru whispers gently stroking his nose against yours, almost purring against you like a cat “mmmm?” he purrs stroking the side of your face and caressing your limp exhausted body. you feel so warm against him, so lewd and yet so protected.

“i forgive you, you’re such an asshole” you giggle feeling a little shy again, only suguru was able to make you shy, and flush so easily. suguru whispers back a thank you and captures your lips into a searing kiss, melting you both together so passionately. you clutch onto the nape of his neck and run your fingers through his hair, earning you a moan, as suguru’s tongue dances with yours sensually. he grips your hips, pulling you against him. you can feel his bulge pulsing for you-

“suguru, aye we’re back! and u’ve got another appointment waiting!” you both hear from downstairs at the reception, shoko calling out to suguru followed by gojo following suit making a ruckus, throwing a tantrum about his arm

“dudeee, where tf r u? i coulda died!” gojo shouts out. you can hear him coming up the stairs to suguru’s office

“mmm fuck suguru, they’re coming up” you gasp up to suguru who still refuses to take notice of them. he smirks, choosing to still feel all up on you

“mmmm don’t care c’mere” suguru states, you roll your eyes

“suguruuu c’mon” you smirk, pushing against him

“ugghh for fucksake” suguru huffs moving off of you, taking your hand and pulling you up to him making you yelp with excitement. you both come to your senses though when you hear gojo’s footsteps up the stairs getting close, both of you scrambling to put your dress back on and get you both presentable.

suguru then holds your chin, so you both look at each other

“what?” you nervously laugh at his intense look

“let me take you out yn? i’ve missed you so much baby” suguru pleads while stroking the side of your cheek with his thumb

“mmmm i dunno sug, dependdss on where you’re gonna take me” you smirk up at him

“let me worry about that baby, i wanna treat you, try and make it up to you” suguru implores and then kisses your forehead just as gojo barges in-

“sUgUruUuu!!”

♡ ༺｡° .ᘛ𓆩♡𓆪ᘚ. ° ｡༻

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loregoddess · 2 years

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i dont think ppl bitch abt it anyways but share a reverse unpopular opinion abt wind waker

I have been in the LoZ fandom long enough to see people bitch about literally every single game, and guess what I do have a strong opinion about something a lot of people hated.

I actually love the sailing. Like I get where some people are coming from when they say it's tedious, but I liked it so, so much better than having to roll across a large field bc I hadn't gotten a horse, it was so chill and relaxing. I also really loved the exploration aspect a lot, I remember the very first time I played the game I didn't even know I was supposed to be looking for Triforce shards, I just Really Wanted To Fill In The Entire Map, and hit a point where I didn't know what I was supposed to do and figured "eh, I can fill in the map finally" and went and bought a ton of fish bait and went to town, ironically unlocking the final area of the game despite my not knowing how to do that. I really loved how unique every island felt, and I loved getting off the boat and exploring all the different little islands not knowing what I'd find.

Also to this day WW's soundtrack is one of my all-time favorites. I don't actually have top x number lists or anything, but if I did a few songs from WW would definitely be on the hypothetical top LoZ songs list. The music is just so full of life and adventure, I can't help but love it.

ALSO ALSO, this was the first LoZ game that gave Link like, more than one family member! I loved Aryll, and I loved Grandma, it was so exciting to have a family for Link, and it made the whole "call to adventure" portion of the game where Aryll get's kidnapped actually feel like a call to adventure that would drive someone to leave their cozy little island. There's so many good characters in WW actually, like I loved that Link was literally Just Some Kid--according to official lore he's not actually like, destined to be the hero or anything, he doesn't have the hero's spirit, he's literally Just Some Kid who wants to save his sister so bad he impresses the gods (sorta on accident) into giving him the Master Sword and title of Hero of Winds. WW is also my favorite variation of Ganondorf, since he feels a lot more fleshed out in his motivations and overall character, and also his design is my favorite Ganondorf design as well. I really love Tetra and her band of pirates, she's such a refreshing and novel spin on the Zelda character, and I love her absolute chaotic energy and gumption. Also the Rito and Dragon Roost in general are some of my favorite additions to the LoZ universe, and I really loved all the Rito characters a lot.

Also also also, for lore reasons this is one of my favorite games. Like there's this somber undertone to the setting of a flooded Hyrule, where Hyrule no longer truly exists, and that doesn't get reversed at the end. There is no "restoration" of Hyrule with Tetra taking her "rightful place" as the lost ruler, there's just...a quiet, watery end to it all (also breaking the cyclical curse which got retconned into the series later), and then the characters move on with their lives and Hyrule remains in the past. It doesn't even feel like a true tragedy, because we as players spent the entire game seeing how alive and thriving the world is, having moved on from being Hyrule, and know it will continue to do just fine--there is no stagnation, no sense that something is cosmically wrong with the world just because it's ceased to be Hyrule, but that it has healed and grown and will continue to do so. And I dunno, there's something very poetic and beautiful about that.

Anyhow I love LoZ a lot, but WW is one of my top five favorite LoZ games on those hypothetical lists, and I love it so, so much.

#lookerdewitt #I know I didn't even touch on everything I love about this game it is SO so good #legend of zelda #wind waker #ask meme #I still don't have an ask tag

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weaponsdrawn · 2 years

Note

psychonauts x dave and bambi when. I ask this to u because yes

sorry for being late to this but I dunno if I’ll post any art YET but I will give you a taste of some of the rambles ive had about this AU with a bestie of mine - tristan is a psychic and dave and bambi adopted him bc they're also psychics, and tristan's og family was like "wait fuck our baby is a psychic???? throw the whole baby out" and dave homeschools him, ie teaches him abt psychic powers and stuff - EXPUNGED and Bandu are rlly power psychics who are kinda urban legends (EXPUNGED moreso) bc they're like in hiding or smthing after some sorta incident (more on that later), AND on this note, Bandu is also secretly a SUPER powerful psychic and in this au Badai is Bandu being pushed to his limit to A Dangerous Amount - and on the note of that incident the first time Badai kicked in was like when he got rlly upset at school or smthing and lashed out, and EXPUNGED was the only family he had/the only family member who was open abt also being psychic, so they basically managed to stop Badai (at the cost of like, a scar or smthing), and then fucking ran for the hills and basically now does everything they can to avoid Badai from happening EVER again. hence Bandu only rlly uses his like. levitation powers - BUT he does train in secret bc he wants 2 get stronger (he has a very fuzzy memory of the badai thing, mostly just that he was rlly strong but he got in trouble) bc he thinks it'll make EXPUNGED proud - bambi’s corn farm has a lotta psytanium, hence why him and dave live in that area despite being in the middle of nowhere lol - Dave does the wheelchair levitation thing - Bambi can communicate with plants, but he only does it to be like “THE CORN SAYS YOUR VIBES SUCK!!!!!!!!!!” - and if you entered his mind it would literally be A Giant Corn Maze (and a bit of marcello’s fun house (REAL!!!!!)) that not even he can properly navigate - he also went to Whispering Rock Summer Camp as a kid - in general most of the DnB cast, hate the psychonauts for their own reasons, either for ones that are understandable (”I just wanna live my life my guy”) to silly as hell (”Otto Mentallis is a bitch ass motherfucker”) - Raz meets Tristan at some point while joining his family on a traveling circus thingy, and its just clown to clown /j 10 yr old psych to 10 yr old psychic communication - bandu’s mental world is a mix between a satam cartoon and a 2000s webcomic AND UHHHH YEAH!!!! oh man that was a lot lolz

#queenie.txt #long post #dave and bambi #psychonauts

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yellowhearther0 · 4 years

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huh

- rambling in the tags -

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echotzzz · 2 years

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Rant

I totally don’t mind people shipping lucien and Elain and in fact if Elriel not happen, I’m really okay to see how Elucien going to progress and I do enjoy some of their fanfic

But so far SOME (not all) of elucien really is an anti Elain and a Lucien stan first. Like they really hate Elain to the point of dismissing her feelings and her actions towards Lucien is nothing but she’s a brat or a bitch or just a dumb girl who don’t know how to decide. And how she is so cruel towards Lucien because she’s his mate. Like really…

First of all, i dunno how they could hate half of their fav ship. Like why?? If you dont like Elain then why ship her with Lucien??

“Elain need to get herself together to realize how wonderful and kind Lucien is” …

what if the reason Elain does not want Lucien simply because he is not her type?? Why some people think Elain not accepting Lucien is like some sort of scheme or her being blind to the magnificance of Lucien like.. What if she’s just not interested full stop. Why the need to theorize that “oh Elain is traumatize and have this vision thats why she couldnt accept Lucien yet..”

“But Elain treat Lucien horribly, thats why she’s a bitch playing his feeling..”

This is controversial but for me as an Elain stan first, I would say it’s not Lucien is the problem. Its the mating bond. Her being uncomfortable is because of the bond that existed. Let’s say Eris is her mate, she might be uncomfortable to him instead.

“But why can’t she give Lucien a chance? He’s nice and kind to her”

Look the bond is one thing but her feelings I mean her feeling as a woman towards a man is another thing. What if the reason she does not give Lucien a chance is because she likes someone else? And back to my previous first point that maybe instead of Lucien, Azriel is her type? I mean why not because for Lucien his type is Jesminda kind of girl. He said so. He said Elain is nothing like Jesminda.

I get Lucien stan are furious because he’s heartbroken but could you really blame Elain 100%? I mean some of yall are mad because Elain wants to kiss Azriel but what abt Lucien staying in the same house with another woman? Who knows what they do together in the same house? And plus “How Lucien withstood it, I didn’t know. Not that he’d shown any interest in bridging that gap between them.” - ACOFAS

Lucien at least to Feyre, did not show interest in bridging that gap. He has no interest. But is that his fault? NO! And same as Elain, she also has no interested in bridging that gap! But is that her fault? NO! Then why some people only fault it on Elain??

Elain is not Lucien’s type and Lucien is not Elain’s type full stop. Its that simple. The only thing that bind them together is the mating bond. The question is do both of them want the bond at the first place? NO! Let me show you

Elain had been … thrown at him. - ACOWAR

“It means nothing,” Elain said, her voice breaking. “It means nothing. I don’t care who decided it or why they did—” - ACOWAR

Both Lucien and Elain does not want the bond at the first place. For Lucien Elain is just another obligation that had been thrown at him while Elain sees the bond as NOTHING. Not a symbol of love or even a friendship. Thats her belief and people including Lucien need to respect that. And lucky for Lucien since he also dont want the bond so what keeping them from rejecting each other?

They will but wouldnt it be nice if its from their own pov aka Elain’s or Lucien’s book (so we have to wait maybe in 2023 or 2024)

Both of them purposely not rejecting each other because they know the advantages of the bond. Maybe they have their own motive to keep the bond. Alliances? Preventing a greater war?

So that being said, I have nothing against Elucien shipper except some of them that blaming Elain for everything. And I have nothing against Lucien as he’s also the victim of the situation. What if they reject the bond but still find way towards each other? That be great and I hope sjm execute it well

#elain archeron #pro elain #pro lucien i guess #lucien vanserra

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chaseprice · 7 years

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i think my lisd (life is strange depression) is coming back

#jfkfkfj it's a mix of too many feelings abt the hell game all over again plus my family treating me like shit recently #not that bts was bad but LiS certainly is and bts is making its presence in my headspace increase tenfold #i feel very like i dunno what to do and everything's gonna go bad #all sick and sad for no good reason #n i guess it just scares me bc i don't want 2 get bad again n i certainly don't wanna get as bad as back when lis finished #this time obv not directly as a result of lis but it's all too familiar timing wise yknow #think i need to .... go some walks or smth lmao #stop bein a lil bitch #it came on so sudden too but i still could've seen signs i guess #stayin up til nearly 8 in the morning being one of them #crying whenever my parents say smth mildly offensive to me #but itll be fine i just get like this and need to put it into words sometimes for ease or something #no other way 2 sort out my thoughts 💭 w/o a therapist or treating someone like one #😂😬😂😬😂😬#ANYWAYS hope every 1 else is havin a good night #i gotta resssssst up and listen 2 tunes n get out of this house again

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the-furies · 2 years

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ideas we have so far for the Before The Earth Fuckenings happen (aka shit abt The Kitty Sibs before oc!rosie yeets hirself to Earth) uunder thee cut

(btw this is LONG. and very rambly. and probably makes no sense to anyone but us.)

Collars. So. The core gave oc!Rosie a rose collar fucking Forever ago, before we had our hatena account even iirc, and Welp. to keep things balanced™ they gave oc!Janus and oc!Alex collars too bc why not bur there was never a reason Why?? just did so bc their designs felt bland. buuuuuuttttt I'm thinkinnnngggg waht if:

The collars represent which parts of the solar system they reside in/watch over. Alex's has the Mercury symbol on it because he primarily watches over Mercury, Janus' used to have the symbol for Uranus possibly? But he switched his out for a scarf bc he decided to embody Pluto and Pluto Cold™. Tho he still keeps his w him. Rosie's would probs have a moon symbol on it but sie's a rebellious bitch and said fuUck no <3 and probs carved hir rose collar out hirself. As for what it's made of we always assumed wood of some kind (as that's what it's made of in-sys) but The Moon Don't Have Trees On It, So. Moon rocks ifg??

Their mom wanted all her kids to stay somewhat close-ish by and the idea was that while her and her husband embody the sun and moon the kids were to embody/protect/ETC. the planets in between/around the sun and moon.

Like Alex was to rule over Mercury and Venus, Rosie was destined to be stuck on the moon and help their mom (but would've controlled Mars, Jupiter and Saturn), and Janus was to watch over Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Earth would've been a grey area between the three of them but alas. NONE of that happened HDJAJKAKSDKDKSKSKDK

So tl;dr the collars have importance and show the main planet (and in Rosie's case the moon) one of the sibs lives on. Since Alex spends his time on Mercury his has the Mercury symbol, Janus' originally would've had the symbol for Uranus, and Rosie's WOULD'VE had the symbol for Mars on it but their mom said Nooo. "I like this one too much sie stays with me now" basically JSJAJDJ

Or maybe to be a bit more inclusive their collars would have symbols that embody all the planets they'd watch over... Dunno how I'd draw that though hdjsjwkdsksk so. fuck it that's for future me to figure out

Actual family dynamics and shit:

Their Dad Is a Controlling Bitch probably. I imagine since he's a (Something) of the Sun and Alex is physically closest to him then Alex would bond w their dad the most and slowly end up being used as a sort of. Puppet? Or Something?? For their dad. And what sucks is Alex truly believes their dad is in the right which is Also terrifying bc the fucker manipulated him over time; Alex (along w Rosie and Janus) did Not Like Him At All bc he was distant and wanted nothing to do w any of them, their mom included

We don't have a Catalyst for the story yet In Full but the bare bones idea is Rosie Goes Against Their Father's Wishes/Ideals/Something Similar In Some Way and he wants hir... Gone. dead r alive doesn't rlly matter. Just So Long As Sie's Not Being Annoying 2 Him </3. Since their dad Cannot feasibly fit on earth (He Lives IN The Sun. Hell he probably makes up most of the sun's mass in this universe, dude's HUGE) he sends Alex to... (in his mind) hopefully assassinate hir. Or, in Alex's mind, talk some sense into hir.

Violence runs in the family a bit thus why they're all dysfunctional as hell, so naturally Alex's first instinct is To Attack Kill While Trying To Force Hir To Come Back And Not Be A Nuisance To Their Father. Rosie, being 10x More Violent, fucking hates that and will not Hesitate, Bitch. This never ends well and they probs almost have tons of near death experiences bc neither want to stop fighting until they Win. tl;dr: It's Bad! NDJSJSJD

Now, while their mother is passive and doesn't agree with Her Husband Tearing The Family Apart she also answers things claws first and thoughts second.

However, Janus is NOT like any of them though. He thinks fighting is: 1. stupid, and 2. painful and not worth it what the fuck is everyone else's problem?? So he took control of the planets farthest away from his family and resides on Pluto to stay the hell away from them allHDJAKSKDJ

Their mom dotes on Rosie the most bc Only Daughter <3 and "Waow u like the moon just like me that makes me so happy <3" bc the moon is the satellite their mom embodies. Bc YES we r all for the sun and moon dynamics of it all. stfu. <3 HFJSJSJDJ but anyways bc of that Janus nor Alex saw much of their mom's attention thus letting Alex get manipulated more easily by their dad and thus leaving poor Janus to kinda just isolate ncndnsjdn

Rosie did Not Like That Though! Sie hates Being The Center Of Attention and the fact that their mom Wants Hir To Be The Next Moon Embodiment/Protector/WaHTEVER bc sie hates responsibility and thinks everyone in hir family is insane. So. Sie leaves <3 Which causes problems FOR LIKE. SPECIES REASONS WE'RE JUST *NOW* STARTING TO TRY TO PUT TOGETHER IT'S A COMPLETE DIFFERENT CAN OF WORMS JFJAJSKDKCJSJJDX

Species specific shit:

Hte more I think of it the more it'd make sense for the family to be apart of a larger celestial species... Which we're just now thinking of well over ~12+ years of the sibs existing as ocs cndjsjfkdkd soooo. More vague ideas:

Two (or more??) beings of the species choose each other, bond, and then find an uninhabited part of space to call home. they then form a galaxy. After, they form two planets; the planets they Embody. A planet one Embodies gives them powers related to said planet, generally, be they mild or strong. (Ex. Rosie's powers include mild telekinesis, not powerful enough to cause Much damage (tho sie can practice w them and make them stronger) but enough to give things motion like how the moon controls Earth's tides.) After this, should they choose, they can create as many other planets as they please, so long as they create a being in their image to Also Embody said planet.

Now. You can see the issue here right. The sibs' parents fucked up majorly. And thus everything in rhe solar system is out of whack </3 uh oh! JFJSJAKSKDKXDK

Wait this mena

s. oh my god

. they're fucking. gods essentially. fucked up and evil!!! hopy shit. ANYWAYS, CNSKDKFKXKDKDKD

This species can also take form of whatever, there's no set rule w them as a whole. Rosie's parents chose cat-looking things bc uhhhh Well. when i was like 11 I wanted to make a litol cat oc and it's causing me PROBLEMS down the line now! /JOKE JAJAJDJXJXKADKXKSKDJZKDKXKXJSJXJX bUt there's some set rules w some things:

Each being has to Embody a planet (or if their parents fucked up, a satellite object or similar will do in a pinch! /lighthearted).

Each being must have the symbol associated w their planet/satellite on their body in some way. The sibs' family chose collars—the symbol CAN indeed be removable if the being so wishes but most don't care abt it ig I don't know ok.

And finally (for now??) each being grows in size over time. They start out small but eventually become the size of what they Embody give or take. Since they tend to live for millennia, they have. TIME to grow. The bigger the being the more power they have irt what they Embody (ex. The sibs' dad is as big as the sun, and should he choose he can destroy the solar system Whenever he wants w his flames. He won't tho. probably).

It's kinda also possible for one being to pass on their planet to one they trust. Takes a lotta energy tho. That's smth we'll think more on though. I imagine others in the species don't do that much bc there's no reason too and again Rosie's family is extremely dysfunctional in everything that they do

Other notes:

Things like Rosie's family having ink tail tips and such are Most likely specific to them. Idk. I don't plan on fleshing out another family in this species so HDJSKAKDKDJDJ if our friends want they can do that we don't mind

The collective species has no name yet as u could probably guess fjsiaodkds if anyone has ideas hmu. we r bad at naming things! JFJSJSJDJ

The sibs' parents DO HAVE NAMES but they're placeholder names kinda???????? V iffy on making them their actual names bc they're just yoinked from googling "god of (thing)" and going w what sounds coolest and we don't want to lkke. appropriate anything. rip. And as for why the sibs have celestial names AND more normal names is Solely bc Earth exists in this story So to blend in Just a tad bit more they started using more human sounding names. But why humans don't look at them and scream bc they're anthro cat things is a different question completely that I haven't thought of Ummm. I'll figure that out later! NXNSAKSKDKXK

#talky #totchb #long post #THIS IS EXTREMELY RAMBLY SORRY BUT ALSO NOT. FNDJJSK #badically just me using tumvlr as a rubber duck of sorts. if anyone has questions tho abt shit talked abt here feel free to ask em #we lov rambling abt things™

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danwylds · 4 years

Text

Right okay I never actually got myself to write this fic so have my notes for the fic except I haven’t read through them since June when I wrote them and I refuse to edit anything

Right is bakery au but not

Neil either turned down the offer of exy for the foxes or for coach whatever the fuck his name was

He got caught earlier tho which is . Unfortunate

Stuart still comes in

Maybe I’ll have him move back to Britain for a while? To avoid the moriyamas n stuff

He NEVER misses a match of the ravens/foxes tho

Which leads to him seeing the frankly sickening interview of Kevin and riko

Neil is like yo Stuart let me start smth

Stuart is like Neil the only reason you’d go back to the states right now is if you did smth that you could hide and you can’t do that for shit

So Neil is like yk what I’m gonna find a way bc I’m not letting this kid go through this (Andrews quite into this idea when it’s shared)

So he says yo. Stuart. Uncle. Sir. Let me open a bakery or something in the states

Stuart is like no you fucking idiot

And Neil is like but c o n s i d e r

You can get info or smth

Just have another business in the states yk

AND I’d get out of your hair

And Stuart is like hm okay but you’ve gotta live in a complex I choose for you

And Neil is all only if I can choose where it’s gonna be

It’s a deal

He (very obviously) chooses a place near palmetto

Stuart is tired but is like he’ll be under protection n shit so I guess??? And he’s not stupid enough to start something right. Right.

Wrong.

Anyways.

It’s a bakery that starts out kinda slow

But Neil finds he likes baking and Stuart pays for his nephew to have some sort of normal life so it doesn’t matter too much

Renee starts to frequent it

At first it’s to pick up sweets for Andrew

But eventually she starts bringing Allison on dates there bc they have a cute little seating area (figure where Seth fits in? I think he’ll survive?)

Uhhh what’s a timeline

I think this’ll be around the winter holidays (Jewish neil? Look into it)

So thanksgiving will have happened . I think Andrew agreed to go Not bc he particularly wanted to but bc he cares for Nicky and knows he’ll probably go anyways

Yeah so thanksgiving. h

Andrew JUST got off his drugs and he’s so damn protective of his own that he hardly even leaves their sides

Edens is a def no for em

Meanwhile Neil is tentative friends w Renee who has brought all the upperclassmen there a few times

Allison bullies him for his clothing but it’s okay he deserves it

Renee is sweet and stops em from doing anything too drastic which Neil appreciates

Matt,, my baby,, he’s so happy he just asks Neil about random stuff

Dan is sweet too!!

Seth kinda hates him but Neil hasn’t paid enough attention to return the favor

One day close to the winter banquet the upperclassmen are like yeah Neil we’re gonna go to this thing and it should be really fun!! Oh you know what? Our teammate Nicky needs a date and his cousin doesn’t really like anyone from his class and he’s super fucking crazy abt it so if that doesn’t deter you then you should totally join !

Neil is like oh chance to fuck up Riko? Absolutely I’ll go

ALLISON DRESSES HIM

HE LOOKS SO GOOD

when he and Allison emerge from the girls room Aaron is like Who is that

And Allison is “oh nickys date (:”

Andrew gets twitchy and holds a knife to her throat

Renee is like Andrew I stg get away from my gf and Seth is like manic pixie nightmare fuel I’m gonna beat the shit outta you

And Neil is just like same shit every day I guess

And he’s like so you’re Nicky then? COMPLETELY IGNORING YK. ALL THAT

Andrew is like “he is. Don’t touch him”

And Neil straight up says I don’t think you get to set boundaries for people, actually

And Neil has no idea what the effect is of that on Andrew but it’s enough to make him glare

Which is terrifying to everyone but Neil bc again. Dumbass

Anyways Neil very purposely hooks his arm through nickys and they head off to the bus

Dunno what happens there but I’ll figure it out

RIKOOO ROASTTT **AIRHORNNNNSSS**

It’s glorious

Kevin and riko are like who the FUCK are you

And Neil is all wouldn’t you like to know weather boy

They relocate and they’re all like . Ah. That’s why you and Renee get along

It’s kinda funny ngl

Andrew doesn’t think so but fuck him

I think that they head back to the bus when this shit I’d over and wymack is like excuse me what the fuck

And Aaron in german is like thank god he never joined the team bc I could not handle more of that

And Neil in German is like would you believe me I’d I told you I was almost signed

And Andrew is like I fucking Knew it I hate it here

N e ways things go back to normal for the most part

The upperclassmen still show up

Seth has a bit of grudging respect for him

It’s later that all the foxes are getting drunk from a lose that Renee calls him and is like Neil please can I usher them inside for a bit I think they need a place to chill so we don’t get yelled at for being too loud in the dorms

And Neil is like uhh sure why not

It turns out it was not just the upperclassmen

He gives them all water bottles and whatever and lets them lounge around

Gives em some food which they pay for w the coachs card

Uhhh idk time passes and some of the foxes pass out so neil is like y’all can chill in the break room? They have couches

He stays out there bc the bakery is still open

Andrew comes out like hey fuck you but also can I get more of those pastries

Idk I want them to be in love already

Uhh yeah I think they don’t say anything until

“what happened to your face”

“A truth for a truth?”

“If you must insist”

“Fine, my father tried to kill me”

Andrew raises his eyebrow but neils like bitch you said a truth for a truth it’s your turn now

Neil asks him why he wears arm bands

We get the whole knives and scars

They’re quiet again

I don’t know man let them be in love

Uhhh okay

I think Andrew will tell neil like

“[code]”

“Huh”

“That’s the code for the court, Kevin practices at night.”

Neil is like how would you know I’d enjoy playing exy? And andrew is like dipshit that’s how we met

I’m running out of ideas oh no

Maybe they play a couple of night game things

Exchange a few more truths

OHHH OKAY COOL SO THEN NEIL CAN GO TO EDENS W THEM THE WHOLE “DOESNT MEAN I WOULDNT BLOW YOU” THING CAN STILL HAPPEN

sick okay! They start dating but since Baltimore happened earlier they never actually come out to the rest of the team

I like to think when they play against the ravens again neils like haha babe you can have as many sweets as you want if you shut down the goal

Also Neil says it’s hot which is like a big thing to persuade Andrew but shhhhh

Yeah the foxes win they celebrate by getting drunk and they all show up at neils like hello again (:

Same thing happens but this time andrew and Neil are together and basically are doing nothing but making out

At least the store is closed

Nicky comes out and just YELLS

YALLLLLL COME LOOK @ THIS SHIT

Allison wins SO much money

Yeah idk how to end this but happily ever after :3

If you want me to turn this into a fic I will!

#aftg #andrew minyard #all for the game #neil josten #aaron minyard #kevin day #nicky hemmick #renee walker #idk i thought it was cute #i do really love this idea!#matt boyd #dan wilds #allison reynolds #seth gordon #if you know me irl do not interact #i cant handle the embarrassment #embarassment*

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youghvaudough · 4 years

Text

Here’s a list of random things that tickle my funny bone for no reason in the Kyoshi novels

(as a Mandarin speaker)

am working through the novels currently so light spoilers?

will continue to update as I go

click 4 sum fun rambles

Horse stance. THIS BITCH DESERVES THE TOP SPOT SO HERE GOES. I somehow did not make this connection until like I’m almost all the way through the book, but 扎马步 (zhā mǎ bù) or if you take the literal meaning of characters “poke horse step” is literally so well known it’s insane. I’m talking one of the first training/fighting stance that comes to a Chinese person’s mind when u mention kung fu/combat training in general well known so I rly dunno how it slipped my mind for an entire book

this particular stance is always a lil funny to me bc of the way it’s phrased in Chinese; with the 扎 “poke”, the intention is to convey a planting & sinking, steadying of the stance that’s just also funny af to me

so imagine sth u find a lil silly & funny fully becoming a flirtatious & romantic code specific to the main characters of the story? hilarity ensued; rip my friend who had to listen to my scream-laughing

Jianzhu, the architect, his name is literally pinyin for building (建筑 jiàn zhù); imagine naming ur kid Building Smith. No wonder he’s such an uptight type A

the name of Jesa’s (Kyoshi’s mom) sky bison, Longyan / 龙眼 (lóng yǎn), while directly translates to “dragon eye”, also happens to be the Chinese word for Longan fruit (which like Lychee, has cloudy, white/clear-ish flesh surrounding a dark, round pit)

Rangi’s name in the Chinese translation of the book is 燃姬 (rán jī), which itself is a basic sound translation, but these characters mean “lady on fire” or “burning lady” this is kinda cute as heck 4 me for some reason????? lil furnace lady Rangi makes me soft

…that brings us to Rangi’s mom Hei-Ran, someone who we know can be cold and calloused in getting sh*t done with some shady days in the academy, & her name may reflect that. her name could be these two characters 黑燃 (hēi rán), which translates to “black burn” or “dark burn”. talk abt obvious characteristic here; nothing more obvious than ur name amirite???

…then again it could also be 黑兰 (hēi lán, “Black Orchid”) which tbh I kinda like better bc it’s more likely to be used as a name; AGAIN, no one wants to name their kid “black burn” it really doesn’t sound as cool as you’d think

SO! After clues from the comments (thank u @taare-writes!) and help I outsourced from TikTok — Hei-Ran’s name actually could be 혜란 in Korean !! also when I put this in the translator I used, the corresponding Mandarin it gave me was 蕙兰 (hùi lán), which is a specific type of orchid (boat orchid I believe?) and SUCH A PRETTY NAME oh my

the term used for the outlaws daofei, is literally just 盗匪 (dào fěi) “thieves/bandits”; this especially tickles my friend (who’s also reading these novels) so I gotta include it for her ;))))

the daofei’s secret gathering spot next to a lake in the mountains, Hujiang, could be 湖江 (hú jiāng) “lake river” or 湖将 (hú jiāng) which if u squint at it could mean “just by the lake”. this is fun bc it’s possible the author just flipped the saying 江湖 (jiāng hú), which while directly translates to “river lake”, has a much broader & meaningful use often in 武侠 (wǔ xiá, if u know u know, but if u don’t you can think of it as samurai or traveling knight but CHINESE) lore: it is used to refer to the world of action, thrills, and adventure walked by these warriors. It’s p cool to me lmao

oh and the Lei Tai the daofei’s fight on? Just 擂台 (lèi tái) “fighting stage”, same thing as the ring in boxing but doesn’t only reference one specific type of fight

Yun’s name is p simple & straight forward, probably just 云 (yún, “cloud”); it’s also an actual last name and I know someone from Highschool with this last name :)))

While Kyoshi obviously has Japanese origins, the kanji corresponding to きょし is 虚子. Japanese kanji have their origins in Chinese characters, and in this case these two kanji can mean “child of the void” (虚 xū “the void / the lack of something” 子 zǐ “child / kid”); pretty fucking metal name if u ask me

Lao Ge, the human alias of the bloodthirsty spirit in Kyoshi’s gang, could just be 老哥 (lǎo gē) “old brother” which is equivalent of just bro

… it’s real name, Tieguai, could be 铁怪 (tiě guài) “iron monster” or 铁拐 (tiě guǎi) “iron crutch”, which both kinda make sense??? given its monstrous tendencies and ancient origins

the green emerald burial sword Tagaka carried with her, jian, literally is just 剑 (jiàn) “sword”. Yes they really went you know what? we gon call it a sword sword

speaking of weapons, the dao broadsword? same thing. 刀 (dāo) literally means “broadsword”. broadsword broadsword hehe

what I find interesting abt this whole weapons naming is that technically when u picture a broadsword, it falls under the umbrella classification of sword (can someone who’s first culture ain’t Chinese confirm this??? thanks); though for Chinese ppl, 剑 (jiàn, “sword”) and 刀 (dāo, “broadsword”) are completely different beasts

basically dao & jian to us r like tigers and wolves when broadswords & swords r like tigers and lions (both in the felidae family)

where this info kinda becomes relevant is bc knives are also translated as 刀 (yeah the one for “broadsword”), and the way ppl know which type of sharp instrument you mean depends on the context. if ur carrying ur dao on ur back (like in the novels) it’s broadsword; if ur looking for a dao to prep dinner with it’s probably a knife unless u really have the urge to chop spinach with a broadsword

the Yellow Scarf’s imprisoned (later freed then dropped) leader, Xu Ping An, has a weirdly ironic name; his name is likely 许平安 (xǔ píng ān), “wish for peace”. 许 (xǔ) can mean “making a wish” & is an actual Chinese last name; 平安 (píng ān) “peace” on the other hand can be & have been used as a name

slight tangent: there’s this Chinese tradition of including undesired characteristics in ur child’s name so they could avoid those things in life I know it’s probably not the tradition mom&dad Xu had in mind when they named him but it did kinda take effect

the design of Govener Te’s mansion complex, the traditional earth kingdom siheyuan design that Rangi mentioned? It’s an actual traditional courtyard’d household design. I’m not the expert on this but if ur interested u can just search siheyuan and read more abt it ! v fascinating

四合院 (sì hé yuàn) roughly translates to “four enclosing yard”, referring to how the structure of this type of housing consists of four sections of single floor housing (each a specific functional space) enclosing an exposed courtyard in the middle. You can still find some of these in Beijing; also these houses go for SO MUCH MONEY on the housing market bc 1. it’s p much a suburb home but in the city 2. CITY LAND 3. homes r just insanely expensive in a city like Beijing. so there’s a running joke that you’d say someone’s well-off by saying their family has a siheyuan

(alright that’s the end of the Rise of Kyoshi!!! Will prolly make another one for the Shadow of Kyoshi; see y’all then)

#Kyoshi #avatar kyoshi #rangi #hei ran #jianzhu #jesa #kyoshi novels #the rise of kyoshi #chinese #mandarin #pinyin #avatar #the rise of kyoshi spoilers #wuxia #weapon #language discourse #rangshi #text wall #original

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jemmydoolz · 4 years

Text

Edgar Has Always Been Kind of a Bitch

hi okay so it's a little after midnight but I'm posting a fic rn bc it's the first fic I've written in like,, a yr and a half and also I'm rlly excited abt it??

anyway battle buddies/fahc jeremwood angst based on ramblings in a gc

(warning for minor assault implications at the beginning, and brief mentions of a suicide attempt at the end)!!!

Fiona and Gavin decide that what Jeremy needs is a night of bevs, and, to put it simply, get wasted, so the crew settles on going to a club that Friday. Jeremy only has one or two drinks, but boy does he get fucked up.

Ryan’s sitting and talking with Geoff and Jack in a booth, sipping a diet coke. He looks over Jack’s shoulder to see Jeremy standing at the bar with a much taller, more intimidating man looming over him. The guy reaches out toward Jeremy, who leans away from the touch. Jeremy nervously laughs and his eyes frantically dart around for someone, anyone who might be able to help him.

“Hello? Earth to Ryan?” Jack waves her hand in front of Ryan’s face.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah. sorry. Hey, um, I’m gonna go home, I’m just not really feeling great,” Ryan murmurs as he slides out of the booth, already heading toward Jeremy.

“Um, alright, I guess? Drive safe,” Jack calls after him.

Ryan speeds up when he sees the man grab Jeremy’s arm. Jeremy’s face flipped through a thousand emotions at once when he saw Ryan approaching, but eventually landed on confused but grateful. He gave Jeremy a look that said just go with what I’m about to say.

“Hey, babe,” Ryan says. The man immediately drops his grip on Jeremy’s arm. Jeremy does his best not to choke on his own spit when he hears the word babe come out of Ryan’s mouth. He hadn’t heard it in so long, and he didn’t think it would still hurt so much.

“Oh, hey!” Jeremy turns to Ryan and reaches up to peck him on the lips. “Where’d Edgar go? It’s his birthday, I figured he would wanna hang out with his friends!”

Fuck. Mentioning something about their friend ‘Edgar’ was always code for I don’t feel good about this, let’s leave. Edgar’s birthday meant I’m having a panic attack, I need your help. Ryan wanted to punch the guy that was practically feeling Jeremy up. No—he wanted to fucking kill that bastard. He and Jeremy may have had a severe falling out, they may have suffered years of heartache and longing, but he still felt responsible to make sure Jeremy was safe.

“He said he kinda wanted to go home. He went to the bathroom while I found you. You, uh, just about ready?” Ryan’s eyes flitted between Jeremy and the other man, who cleared his throat and mumbled something about needing to go find his friends before walking off.

Jeremy and Ryan both sigh in relief once he’s gone.

“Wanna head outside for some fresh air for a minute?” Ryan asks, getting a meek, obviously shaken-up nod in return.

Jeremy says something that Ryan can’t quite hear over the music as they walk outside.

“Hm?”

“Oh, nothing. It was dumb.” Jeremy shakes his head. Ryan has had enough experience to know that it was better to just leave it alone. They both wordlessly come to a stop and lean against the wall of the building a few yards from the door. Almost as if they had been working as partners for years. They spend a few minutes saying nothing, watching people on the street, looking at the stars in the sky. Ryan can’t help but study the intricacies of Jeremy, realizing that so many things have changed, but somehow almost nothing about him is different. Jeremy’s hair is just a tad bit more grown out than it ever was at the agency (also, it’s bright purple and orange, which is not exactly the most appealing color combination, but that’s a topic for another day), but he still runs his hands through it when he’s lost in thought. It’s curlier than it used to be, but maybe that’s just because it’s longer. He still clenches his jaw so hard it seems like he’s going to break his teeth when he’s scared. He still wears a tank top under his shirt, no matter how hot it is outside. His eyes still crinkle at the corners when he lets out a bark of laughter that Ryan still swears up and down sounds exactly like a squeaky toy. He’s changed, though. Ryan can see in his eyes that he’s become aware of reality. He knows the responsibility he carries, the heavy consequences that come with his actions, that death is around the corner at every moment.

“D’you- d’you want me to take you home?” Ryan says barely above a whisper, but loud enough for Jeremy to hear. “You can go back inside if you want, but I know you always used to want to go home and be alone after Edgar shows up.” Jeremy lets out the tiniest breathy chuckle.

“Edgar has always been kind of a bitch, hasn’t he?” Jeremy says as he looks away from the sky to meet Ryan’s gaze, and his heart falls apart all over again for the thousandth time. That fond look of reminiscence and joy was one Ryan donned frequently at the agency. “I- Yeah. yeah. I’d really appreciate a ride home. I’m just a little too drunk to drive, I think.”

“Alright. I parked just down the street. Penthouse or your apartment?” Ryan hadn’t even noticed that Jeremy did seem somewhat tipsy; his Boston accent slipping in occasionally and his words slurring the tiniest bit.

“Um, apartment,” Jeremy says. “D’you rem-”

“Yes, I remember where your apartment is, Jeremy.”

It’s only a few minutes into the drive to the other side of town when Jeremy pipes up. “I honestly didn’t really expect you to help me. I didn’t expect you to remember Edgar, either. I dunno why I said it, I guess just vaguely hoping you would even though it’s been, what, three years?” he pauses for a moment and just takes in Ryan's profile. “I always hope you remember things from then. I know it went to shit, but we still had so much fun. We made so many memories and did so much dumb shit there. But I’m glad that stupid fuckin’ place collapsed. All of it was complete bullshit. I just wish it all fell apart before we did.”

Ryan doesn’t know how to respond. So he doesn’t.

“All those meetings I had to stay late for? Fuckin’ useless. They served no purpose, and I don't know why I was forced to go to them. I feel like the only reason I had to go to those meetings was because someone was hiding something from me. It was obvious that so many things were kept from us.” Jeremy stops for a second to try to will away the lump rising in his throat. “I thought you were cheating on me. For the longest time. I still don’t know whether you actually were. You were always out on ‘special missions’ and shit.”

The moment Ryan hears Jeremy let out a shaky breath his heart breaks.

“Was it me? Was I not good enough? I promise I tried my hardest to be what you needed. I’m sorry if I wasn’t. All I wanted was the best for you, Ryan. Even now, I just want you to be happy. If you're happier with someone else, then that’s what I want. I don’t blame you, though. I don’t deserve someone like you. You deserve so much better than me. I would do anything for you, Rye. We were together for so long. We did everything together! I thought I was gonna marry you. I was saving up money to get a ring. I guess I was too stupid to see that you didn’t want me anymore.”

Ryan looks over to see the tears staining Jeremy’s cheeks reflecting the soft orange glow of the streetlamps. Is this really what Jeremy thinks?

“I was so in love with you, Ryan Haywood. I’m- I’m still in love with you. I love you so goddamn much it hurts sometimes. Every time I see you hurt, upset, angry, anything other than healthy and happy my heart aches. I’m sorry I wasn't enough. I promise I tried. Fuck, I tried so hard.”

With every sob Jeremy lets out, Ryan's heart breaks just a little bit more. The short distance left until Ryan pulls up to Jeremy’s apartment building is spent wordlessly. Jeremy’s clambering out of the car and reaching to grab the door when Ryan speaks.

“Hey, Jer, do you want me to walk you up? I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“No. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I’ve already been a pain in your ass tonight, I don't need to waste even more of your time. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything.” Jeremy sniffles and wipes his cheeks, giving a half-hearted smile before shutting the door and walking away.

Ryan sits there for a second, unable to process fully what he just heard. He starts driving without even knowing where he was going, and he’s so lost in his thoughts that suddenly he’s sitting in his car in front of the boardwalk along the beach and crying. He can’t believe anything he was just told—there is no way in hell that the brilliant, witty, talented Jeremy Dooley ever doubts his worth. It’s jarring to think that part of it was because of Ryan. He was going on extra missions because the agency was growing more and more demanding. For months they tormented Ryan with the threat of kicking out Jeremy. They said they’d do other things to him that Ryan doesn’t want to remember. Why did Jeremy never bring it up? Why did he just accept that Ryan had ‘moved on?’ Their lives were so intertwined with one another that Ryan never felt truly whole again. The only reason Ryan went with the break up was that he saw how distant and cold Jeremy had gotten. Ryan had assumed that, for whatever reason, Jeremy had changed his mind. He hated it, he was devastated, but he didn't know how to fix it.

Ryan decides he doesn’t want to go back to the penthouse tonight. He pulls up to the nearest crew safehouse, and suddenly things click.

Jeremy had always struggled with bad self-image and depression. He had gone to Ryan for comfort, which he was always more than willing to give. Jeremy was doing better. At least he told Ryan he was.

Jack had mentioned a while ago that when Jeremy first joined the crew, she had found him after a suicide attempt and barely left his side until he recovered. The only reason for it Jack had told Ryan about was ‘emotional trauma from a past relationship, that he didn’t really want to talk about.’

Ryan did that to him.

Ryan made the love of his life want to die.

The pieces left of his heart fall into more shards than there are grains of sand in this world.

He collapses onto the couch inside, too exhausted to even get to the bed. He knows he’s not going to be able to sleep, though.

To: Geoff

Dropped Jeremy off at his place, he was pretty drunk though so check on him please

To: Geoff

I’m staying at kung fu safehouse for the night

#my fic #holy fuck #i did that !!!#thats a whole ass 1874 words babeyyy!!!!!#fahc #fahc ryan #fahc jeremy #fahc au #angst #battle buddies #fake ah ryan #fake ah jeremy #fake ah crew #fake ah au #minor suicide mention #suicide mention tw #ragehappy

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