#Heart of Steel
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Apparently, russians were bombing Ternopil, the Ukrainian city where the Ukrainian 2023 Eurovision act Tvorchi is from, exactly while band was on the ESC stage.
Because of course. Because russia’s not welcome at ESC, so they try and destroy what they can. Absolutely unsurprising.
those tiny shits
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ESC results today were kinda ass, so have these to cheer up <3
#fanart#eurovison 2023#käärija#cha cha cha#Finland#Slovenia#joker out#Carpe diem#u#ukraine#Tvorchi#heart of steel#Luke black#Serbia#samo mi se spava
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another poll in the same day because i don't think i'll have time for one tomorrow . also the first one today was a bit late . so . eurovision bangers !!
#random thoughts#käärijä#cha cha cha#joker out#carpe diem#tvorchi#heart of steel#vesna#my sister's crown#i can hear it now . “BUT CRISPIN ??????????? WHERE'S LUKE BLACK ??????????????”#well. i add smss to every playlist. so this one is going to be different . unless i include it in another poll . . . a luke black poll. yes#(:<#eurovision#eurovision 2023
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Good to know HARDAC's duplicants are 4th law compliant
#batman#batman tas#batman the animated series#heart of steel#his silicon soul#btas#hardac#h.a.r.d.a.c.#robot#robots#Twitter#tweets#shitpost#meme#memes
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How did they make it so PERFECT
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Eurovision 2023: #22 - #21
Mild like is not a zone I prefer to rest long in, so let's make the next two a package deal so that only 20 remain going into the new year!
22. SERBIA
Luke Black - "Samo mi se spava"
24th place
youtube
Decade Ranking: 63/116
[Above Fyr og Flamme, below TBA]
Spaaaaavaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai
But I am getting ahead of myself.
In the days leading up towards towards the rehearsals I got the feeling that Luke would only barely squeak by despite being both Serbian and reasonably well-liked by the fans. This came with the slow realization that "Samo mi se spava" is kind of cringe, oop. All memes eventually become stale, and that rate at which they age accelerates further if the music's kind of not good lol. Not everyone can have the eternal resilience of "In Corpore Sano".
So yeah, I totes understand why the Latvia stans were pissed they missed out while Luke basically passed to the Grand Final based on flag. However, many acts sucked in the semis, so I'm not bothered if one I liked (sorta) qualified over one i did not (sorta).
Not to get things twisted though, "Samo mi se spava" was serviceable for what it was, as a Melovin-lite combination of shock horror and an art major's irreverent graduation project. Once you've accustomed to the senseless krumpcrat choreo and the atonal mewling however, you just have to recognize Serbia's 2023 entry was the vanity project of an ageing emo twink . Do I enjoy it? Yes, but only as ~A Piece~ (not as "a song") and only in small enough doses. Take, a listen every four months.
All that said, there are two small things about "Samo Mi Se Spava" that I greatly enjoy.
(1) the frogmarches remain hilarious so let's enjoy that in gif form:
What a great way to finish A Piece.
(2) I merely have to think of Luke to hear "SPAAAVAAAAI" and "HELLO?! GAyME OVuh" ring through my mind in his characteristic gaywhispervoice and that ALWAYS produces a chuckle. So ultimately, while "Samo mi se spava" was admittedly not very good, it does manage to lift my spirits somewhat, and for that I'm willing to carry it to 22nd in my list!
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21. UKRAINE
TVORCHI - "Heart of steel"
6th place
youtube
Decade Ranking: 62/116
[Above Luke Black, below Kalush Orchestra]
Yeah, Tvorchi did well for themselves. Given the war and the general air of misery surrounding last year's Vidbir (unironically a contender for worst NF this year, even under the circumstances) and the fact that Ukraine picked their most disappointingly heterosexual entry yet, there was no way "Heart of Steel" could become good. Like, who does this appeal to? What sort of person listens to this edgelordian church cabal, and thinks "ah, my favourite has arrived." Just the Musk fanboys, right?
Fortunately for us, Ukraine is the one Eurovision country that always understands the assignment. What do you do when your song below par? You provide a good show at least.
and it kinda nibbled.
...
...
Yeah, there's no punchline. Sorry but it's NYE, i cooked the family dinner by myself and you may think it's a small step to go from roasting broccoli to roasting mediocrities, but the latter action takes up too much thinking space for a brain semi-operating on sparkling wine that is trying to weave in and out of social conversation. Jeffrey sang well, I liked the presentation and it didn't drag the more enjoyable entries around it down, what else can a one ask for? It wasn't going to get any better than what we got. Count them lucky stars, and all that.
Fourth place in the televote is a VERY stupid result (this is more in range of a 14th placer if it were any other country) but let's not end the year on a sour rant. "Heart of steel" could have been a morose drag. Instead it was moderately bemusing. Upward and onward to better things.
THE RANKING
CONGRATZ FOR MAKING THE TOP 20 to the following:
ALBANIA / ARMENIA / AUSTRALIA / AUSTRIA / AZERBAIJAN
BELGIUM / CZECHIA / ESTONIA / FINLAND / FRANCE
ICELAND / LITHUANIA / MALTA / MOLDOVA / POLAND
PORTUGAL / SLOVENIA / SPAIN / SWEDEN / UK
Some of you kind of don't deserve to~
ps: Happy New Year Everyone!!!
#Eurovision#Eurovision Song Contest#ESC#ESC 2023#Eurovision 2023#Liverpool 2023#Ukraine#Heart of Steel#TVORCHI#Serbia#Luke Black#Samo mi se spava
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Eurovision Song Contest 2023 countdown: 15 days left!
Heart Of Steel - TVORCHI, Ukraine 🇺🇦 [x]
#eurovision#eurovision 2023#tvorchi#ukraine#esc#heart of steel#ukraine '23#esc2023countdown#15 days to the grand final feels TOO SOON
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#heart of steel#heartstopper#beautiful eyes#mermaid#sunrise#silver wolf#my universe#lovers#chaos#tunes#sadgirl#heartache#heartbreak#relateable#healing#poetry#sad poem#used to love it#love poetry#poems and poetry#missing him#dragon age
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Kara Danvers as she will appear when visiting Atlantica in my Kingdom Hearts + Supergirl (2015) crossover fanfiction series "Heart of Steel". This is specifically in the first volume, "Up, Up and Away", so she has her teenage appearance.
Her aquatic form mixes her with a Fish-Snake, a mutant aquatic life-form native to Krypton. (With a red tail color to match her skirt and future cape.) Still to be determined if I give her electric paralyzing abilities and a venomous bite in this form.
#heart of steel#wilygryphon heart of steel#supergirl#kara danvers#kara zor el#atlantica#cw supergirl#arrowverse#kingdom hearts#dc comics#kingdom hearts fanfiction#kh fanfiction#kingdom hearts fanfic#supergirl cw#arrowverse fanfiction#crossover fanfiction#fanfiction#tbh the fish-snake was the only kryptonian aquatic creature that i could find actual information in#my art
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HEART OF STEEL Mood board
@invisibleanonymousmonsters
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Lisa in a bi pride skirt, drawn for a draw your OC in this on Twitter. Added Diana in a lesbian pride skirt to match, although in hindsight I should have also done the generic Pride one from the same link ahaha it would have made my life easier.
(Can I ever draw Lisa’s hair consistently? No, but waves and curls are very fun to draw, so here we are.)
Tried a slightly different shading technique and it looks fine. It'd look better if I spent more time on it, but I was determined not to spend a lot of time on it, so this is what we get. It requires me to focus more on the entirety of the image, rather than shade a section and move on, which is...also fine, but I'm not used to working zoomed out, especially when there are so many smaller areas zoomed out.
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Two esc favs :^)
I’ve actually got a few other favs, such as Évidemment, My Sister’s Crown, Carpe Diem, Samo Mi Se Spava (that one is so good), so MAYBE I’ll draw them.. just been hella unmotivated lately lol
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Eurovision 2023 Polls (2/5)
Fun fact, the Czech Republic has officially rebranded itself as "Czechia" and will compete with their "new" name from now on
#Eurovision#ESC#Eurovision Song Contest#Eurovision 2023#ESC 2023#Eurovision Song Contest 2023#Tvorchi#Vesna#Pasha Parfeni#Blanka#Theodor Andrei#Ukraine#Czechia#Moldova#Poland#Romania#Heart of Steel#My Sister's Crown#Soarele si luna#Solo#D.G.T. (Off and On)#Spotify
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Aren't we all waiting for Eurovision just to feel something?
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Another ESC Site Award for Glasses inside
youtube
Unlike the Ukraine's previous efforts, this defending champion song managed to reach a top 10 placing. Razom Nas Bahato received 30 points (their joint lowest score) while Time took only 36 points (their lowest placing).
It was presented nicely on the night with the choreography and the clever use of the four screens. The music is attractive and modern, and the vocals are very good and clear. The presentation was on a whole quite clean.
#esc#eurovision#ukraine#tvorchi#heart of steel#uk#united kingdom#2023#liverpool#Youtube#another esc site awards 2023
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Eurovision 2023 PRESHOW - part 3: the Borewhores
Time for my favourite part of any ranking - the songs that make me feel absolutely nothing. Hooray! These songs aren’t bad, but I don’t care for them. There a place for their entries at ESC, and that place is NOW!!! Bask in the glory of the grotesquely average! Or as I affectionally call them: the boring cunts.
29. ITALY
Marco Mengoni - “Due vite”
Autoqualifier
youtube
Whoever reads “Borewhore slaughter” in a BorisBubbles write-up thinks there will be an Italy write-up in the mix. Your thinking is once again correct! 😁
I don’t fucking know what to say about Italy anymore. I honestly feels like they’ve achored themselves down to send male-fronted mid-range emotional ballads, each new one just as dull and insipid as the previous one. L’essenziale, Fai rumore, Brividi, what’s the fucking difference, honestly? I’d say it’s the same old, but look at their entries in the last decade, and look at ALL of their San Remo winners since 2020. There was more variation amongst any four-year Italian stretch in the 60s, 70s and 80s, the time period where Italy were consisently one of the worst countries.
Even as i’m sitting down to review this, my first instinct was “At least Marco’s handsome?” as a punchline and that says it all really? Italy fandom honestly IS barely about their songs and more about whoever (man) performs it, and what he looks like. The fucking halo effect that white mankind projects onto Italians is omnipotent and often earned, but so worth calling out in contexts like these. At least Marco IS handsome, I guess, the first *actually* handsome and charismatic Italian lead since Il Volo. No more “Protecc The Smoll Bean” nonsense.
So um, the song. God, I don’t care how many silly Spaniards rank it absurdly high on their lists, “Due vite” is boring. I appreciate that it’s inoffensively competent but good grief, it and I do not align. WHY DOES IT HAVE SO MANY WORDS. I know that Italians are a loqacious lot and yap about anything, but this stereotype personified in ballad form frankly exhausts me.
At least he’s handsome the fandom isn’t annoying about Italy this time around, I guess.
Odds at Eurovision - ITALY
Aside from the Spaniards nobody seems to care about Marco. One may think this sets up an illusive Italian male flop but I’m not quite as easily fooled. Marco WILL come top 10. Look at this field, and tell me where the jury votes are gonna go towards. Italy will receive a decent mark here.
That the fans are less vocal about Italy than they normally is merely an indicator that they’ll place somewhere in the lower half of the top 10. Maybe the Mengoni special of 7th place :-)
Projected placement: 6th-10th (specifically: 7th)
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28. CYPRUS
Andrew Lambrou - “Break a broken heart”
Semi 2, slot #06
youtube
You know, sometimes the broadcasters easen job. Cyprus released a teaser for Andrew’s song before release, and although it lasted for THIRTY SECONDS it told us everything we ever needed to know about “Break a broken heart”, including what the remaining two and a half minutes would sound like. Great songwriting, y’all. 😃
Upon announcement though, I harboured a faint hope Andrew would just give us another “Electrify”, fulfilling his predestined role as this year’s hapless himbot with a basic club banger. Instead Cyprus imagined some dragons and sure, if you’re going to be basic there are worse directions to go. Doesn’t take away this is some lower-end ID song here to cash out another easy low-effort qualification into the usual 21st place.
B L E R G H.
Odds at Eurovision - CYPRUS
Andrew is Australian and less awful than little Victor Varicose Vein. So I think it’s safe to state Cyprus do better than Greece? They’re guaranteed one twelve from Greece and another one from Australia. That by itself puts them mathematically ahead of several countries in that semi.
Like I honestly REALLY wish “Break a broken heart” were.. you know, good, because that would ensure Greece’s NQ while making Cyprus (which is a lock on PAPER) an even more secure qualifier. Sadlty, that’s not the case.
In a fully just world though, everyone recognizes the “Break a broken heart” is just boringdull baggage nobody wants to take home with them, and both Cyprus and Greece get to hold hands as they sink into a sea of flop. Sadly that’s unlikely to happen in semi 2, unless ALL the other fringe qualifiers deliver something extraordinary.
Once in the final, Cyprus will beach themselves in a 21st-ish place (with votes from Greece and Australia ONLY), and nobody will talk about them ever again. 🙂
Qualifier Tier: B+
Projected placement: 7th-10th (semi), 19th-23rd (Grand final).
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27. UKRAINE
TVORCHI - “Heart of steel”
Autoqualifier
youtube
What a big pile of misery. Yes, YES, I am aware what country this is. Any of us would be highly delusional to believe Ukraine would go for something cheery at this present moment in time, but Krut and Finka were right there, on offer for the Ukrainians to take? We don’t have to like Ukraine this year, surely? Yeah it’s TAKING A STAND!! AGAINST THE EVIL INVADER!!! but if it’s about resilience and overcoming odds, then why does it sound like a fucking funeral march hmm?
For all its doom and gloom, I don’t dislike “Heart of steel” though. It is well-made and unique, which I can appreciate. But I also don’t give two fucks about it. It’s a far cry away from the usual high octane stuff Ukraine send.
More than anything, “Heart of steel” feels like the end of success story for what is ultimately one of Eurovision’s best and most consistent participating countries. While it won’t happen this year, I’ve a feeling Ukraine will continue to send entries like these, with diminishing returns until they finally ruin their perfect qualification record.
At least they’re not winning this time around, but more on that in the next rublic:
Odds at Eurovision - UKRAINE
The expectations for Ukraine differ depending on who you’d ask, ranging from “winning back-to-back” to “they’ll flop and come bottom five”. I think the expectations are wrong.🙂 Ukraine will come top 10, but nowhere near a win.
Eurovision is not a charity, but there there’s clearly going to be some sort of sympathy vote.. But I also feel like this will be limited to countries with a vested interest towards supporting Ukraine (the Baltics, Poland, Czechia). Most of the other casuals I believe will have moved on, more stingy with their money in a world where general prices have skyrocketed.
In most countries the oro-Ukraine vote will be limited to the expats and refugees for the most part because, again, most of Europe has moved on and also because “Heart of Steel” is kinda unvoteable oops. I can’t make a projection of how many points that’ll be, but I’d be surprised it Ukraine got more than a bunch of fives and sixes? That should still be enough for a good result overall, but not enough to come even NEAR the actual winning entries.
Based on musical merit i would estimate a decent jury score as well, to further underline a good but not outstanding result in Liverpool.
Projected placement: 4th-10th (prediction: 6th place)
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26. ESTONIA
Alika - “Bridges”
Semi 2, slot #4
youtube
What a wild rollercoaster ride for an entry I fundamentally care very little about. I went from not caring about Alika to lowkey stanning her to concluding that wait actually "Bridges” kinda sucks, so Estonia should be ranked lowish. Oops!
Idk, I think that *within the context of Eesti Laul* where it became immediately obvious (from the feedback I heard from actual Estonians) that Alika would win, I just... forced myself to like her? I also had taken it upon myself that Ollie NEEDED to lose for his overrated ~emo boy with emotions~ nonsense (no, it doesn’t work better if disguised as a Linkin’ Park song.) by all means necessary. Bedwetters would be the ideal men for the job, but again since nobody in Estonia seemed to care about them (why? Were Ollie and Alika truly that more exciting? What a crazy country.), Alika was a decent alternative, or so I thought.
Once she actually beat Ollie, I gave Alika little thought until it was time for the bulk relisten. During that I concluded that “Bridges” kinda annoys me? For something supposed to be introverted, it’s loud and pungent.
The presentation at EL does NOT help it either, as it involves Alika angrily screaming about how SHE’S BUILDING UP A WORLD OF BREECHES (what does that metaphor even MEAN, btw?) with the panache of a crazy woman who was just dragged from a river. It’s like Iceland where I feel like there’s a “solid idea” but the execution is a sloppy mess. Unlike Estonia though, iceland have a very good song AND fun performer this year, so i’m willing to forgive their flaws. 🙂
So much for the ONLY female-fronted classical ballad in this year, huh?
Odds at Eurovision - ESTONIA
Estonia are one of several countries in the second semi that are on the cusp. As i’ve written before, 7 countries are very likely through to the final: those 7 are Australia, Lithuania, Austria, Belgium, Slovenia, Armenia and Cyprus (probably in that precise order). San Marino are dead, and Poland/Romania hang on by a sliver.
EVERYONE ELSE has a more or less equal shot at the final three positions. Estonia’s advantages here are (1) Alika’s powerful voice and (2) Bridges being the only classical ballad in the semi. Both of those things can help Estonia stand out and receive televotes, in a semi where their closest ally is Lithuania.
Estonia is also disadvantaged however. The first and largest of these is that the semi has a very slow start, so someone will have to kickstart it. That will not be “Bridges” which is adding reverse alacrity to the already dull proceedings
Even worse, I believe the big kicker will be Belgium. Estonia are on DIRECTLY BEFORE them, which is a very bad spot to be in.
Also, being on fourth with a ballad is never good.
ALSO, “Bridges” in its current state is shouty and miserable.
There are several things Estonia need to rethink in terms of their staging and Alika’s styling, if their ambition is to do well, let alone qualify. Currently I think they’ll come close to the Q, but will narrowly miss it in 11th or 12th place.
If they do make the final, I could see Bridges becoming one of those entries that Juries love to death and televoters don’t give two fucks about. Their result will be lower-midtable once they’ve passed the big old hurdle of “reaching the grand final with a ballad in a full televote scoreboard”.
Qualifier tier: C
Projected placement: 8th-14th (Semi), 14th-19th (Grand Final)
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And that concludes those I find very very boring :-)
Next up are the decent entries. I’m not fully on board with them, but I understand why they’re liked. They bring something different to the table and I can appreciate that even if I’m not the target audience. 🙂
THE RANKING:
Part 1: The BAD entries
(Switzerland / Croatia / Israel / Greece)
Part 2: the IRRELEVANT entries
(Ireland / Albania / Netherlands / San Marino)
#ESC 2023#Eurovision 2023#Liverpool 2023#Eurovision Song Contest#ESC#Ranking#BorisBubbles#preshrinked#northern italy#Marco Mengoni#Due Vite#Cyprus#Andrew Lambrou#Break a broken heart#Ukraine#TVORCHI#heart of steel#Estonia#Alika#Bridges
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