#HE IS FUCKING HURTING.
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Y’ALL WE’RE WRONG. Y’ALL WE ARE DEAD WRONG.
WE ARE SO FUCKING WRONG Y’ALL 33:01 BLOODMOON IS SNIFFLING AND GROWLING AND HOLDING BACK HIS CRYING I CAN FUCKING HEAR IT.
I was right- me and anyone who thought he was just holding it back is right- HE IS LITERALLY FORCING BACK HIS REACTION. ITS FUCKING AUDIBLE.
THIS MAKES THE GODDAMN FEAR OF BLOODY BREAKING DOWN ON THE PODCAST (If Monty drags him there) BECAUSE PUPPET AND MONTY SPAM-REPLAY HARVEST’S DEATH SO MUCH MORE LIKELY TO HAPPEN.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
(They still acted really out of character with the whole not caring if the other was blown up- I’m not disregarding that)
I AM NOT FUCKING OKA-💥
(Tagging two people I talked about the twins’ lack of care for each other (hopefully it’s okay! Sorry if not!)
@madcatdaderpydrawer-blog @lover-of-cuteness
#BloodMoon Tsams#Sun and Moon show#Monty and Foxy show#MGAF’s#SAMs#tsams#Sun and Moon show spoilers#Monty and Foxy show spoilers#I AM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND.#I JUST WAS WATCHING PEOPLES VIDEOS ON THE SUBJECT AND SOMEONE POINTED OUT IN THE COMMENTS OF ONE OF THE VIDEOS#THAT WHEN FOXY ASKS;#“What’s it like knowing your brother died to a kid?”#THAT BLOODY IS LITERALLY HOLDING BACK HIS REACTION AND SNIFFLING.#I THOUGHT HE JUST FUCKING TURNS AWAY.#NO#HE IS FUCKING HURTING.#AND BITCH#SO THE FUCK AM I.
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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I think about Zuko and Ursa a normal amount
#atla#avatar#avatar the last airbender#zuko#ursa#atla fanart#em draws#illustration#I had heart of stone from SIX playing on loop while drawing both of these#because I enjoy hurting myself#I am on a fucking roll right now apparently#cannot go five seconds without drawing something#the stuff I've been posting is so incredibly self-indulgent but y'know what. I do not care#normally i'd have a modicum of shame but nope#if I want Zuko to look sad in his mom's robes then that's what he's going to do <3#privileges of being an artist#yes it's 4:30 in the morning shut up#id in alt text#edit I fixed his wack ass face
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the brainworms are kiiling me. have a dad and son 👍︎
#papyrus#gaster#dadster#undertale#theres still not enough papyrus and dadster content where sans isnt present compared to the other way around#what will be enough you ask? well idk the exact amount cus numbers are infinite but yaknow#gaster supports let papyrus say fuck day#i believe he just sucks at parenting so papyrus cussed his whole life#and since gaster found out about the holiday papyrus has been nothing but encouraged by his dad#mostly out of spite towards the people who still believe his son to be 5 years old#im sorry i saw someone refer to papyrus as a prec**s cin***on ro*l and had to do something#my shoulder hurts so bad and drawing and typing worsens it and i have an exam tommorow i need to rest it for and look what im doing.#being silly.#>:[
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Henry is royal, yes, but he’s also paralysed by his own fear of not being loved.
— Nicholas Galitzine // Hunger Magazine
#rwrb#rwrbedit#red white and royal blue#henry fox mountchristen windsor#userninz#userveronika#chrissiewatts#usernuria#usersteen#userclara#usergayppl#mine*#YOU ARE SO LOVED BABY#'i want to fight everyone who's ever hurt you'#as he should#godddd he did not deserve to be treated the way he did. fuck his family fr. except bea <3#whenever nick talks about henry i either feel like ive been shot or given a new lease of life#he just gets him so well#(as him with all of his characters actually)#and i'll never tire of hearing him speak about it
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Prompt 139
So. Dan has somehow found a small child. A practically newly born ghostling who had literally fallen right on top of him. A ghostling who had practically formed right above him, far away from nurseries and instead above him of all ghosts?
Him, the Sunkiller? The Worldeater? Jordan Vladimir FentonNightingale-Foley-Manson? Son of Space and War? Bringer of the End?? Seriously, what the hell! Ghostlings shouldn’t even be able to form within other ghost’s Lairs, and he knew for a fact this wasn’t his own ghostling seeing as he wasn’t interested in such things.
So here Dan is, feeling more confused than he ever has with a newborn ghostling clinging to him and sobbing in his arms about wanting his dad. What even is his unlife right now.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#dad dan#Phantastic Four#or at least implied lol#The moment Dan learns joker is alive he’s going to do a murder#He’s killed entire worlds before what’s a single mortal#It’s not like his parents or sister will notice a singular mortal dying- and it’s revenge for the ghostling#Dan: I am not attached to this lil shit but if anyone hurts him I will make them wish their death was permanent#Dan when Jason disappears back to the world of the living: WHERE IS MY BOI#Jason when he revives: Where is my dad- wait what dad- wait I have Two dads???#They get reunited when Jason gets thrown into the Pits#Big Fucking Pit creature emerges from the waters with hair like the flames of the dying suns and eyes as red as blood#the whole Red Hood thing definitely goes differently with Joker dead & Dan there#Dan still refuses to admit that the now-halfa is his kid but the others want to meet their grandson/nephew#I wonder if Bruce knows that Dan is the one who killed joker or if he might’ve been there
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regret
#literally excuse the shitty anatomy and cell shading i was thinking abt chuuyas reaction to what he'd done and i decided to make it skk#bc skk copium :')#the way i've hated dazai so fucking much but i still cried like a bitch when he died#he's not dead the bsd fandom has this phase like the elevator chapter where we're like ''dazai's not gonna make it he's done for!!''#and then he comes back next chapter like surprise bitches yall thought i was dead lmao#this chapter fucking HURT for skk shippers tho like we rly lost this time around huh#deluding myself into thinking that chuuya used gravity manipulation to slow the bullet#bc we didn't see a bullet hole behind dazais head like when chuuya shot his shoulder even though the bullet to his skull was fired at close#the reason theres a wound is bc the compressed air that was still fired was enough to wound him#and the shock wave that followed caused him to pass out bc of the sudden tension to his head intermingled with the blood loss and poison#we also know dazai can control his heart rate at will so maybe he can drop his pulse to zero for like thirty secs#enough to make fyodor believe he's dead#in the event that all of this is untrue and dazai rly does die the way my entire being will go numb and cold and dead#knowing that fyodor will most likely use dazai's death as a weapon against chuuya effectively chaining him to his side#like bffr chuuya may dislike dazai but that's his partner his reflection the boy that makes him desperately want to be human#dazai is the embodiment of chuuyas humanity and once chuuya loses that tether to his human side he will snap and the facade will shatter#and we will truly see chuuya unhinged with nothing more keeping him bound to his mortal shell#this wasn't the skk reunion we wanted asigiri what the fuck :(#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#skk#soukoku#lotus draws
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The Curse Of Hope
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Danny is in another universe. He had a reason, but he doesn’t remember anymore. He can only stare, horrified and disgusted, at the sickest city spirit he’s ever seen. Shivering and swaying with every step, core exposed, and ectoplasm leaking from wounds that are decades old. A ratty blanket was thrown over their shoulders, barely hiding the spirit’s pale grey skin and protruding black bones.
The spirit didn’t even sense him until he reached out to touch its wispy shoulders. The spirit flinched, clutching at the dozens of trinkets hanging from their neck and tucking in on themselves like they were expecting a blow.
“Oh, shit,” He swore, floating back a few feet, hands in the air, to show he meant no harm. “I’m sorry. I promise, I’m not here to steal from you.” The spirit shivered again and rolled a pearl necklace in between their fingers. A nervous habit. “Uh, I like that pocket watch? It’s very nice.”
That got their attention. They peeked at Danny, and he saw that more tattered cloth was covering their eyes, blending in with the stringy hair that reached the ground. Their blanket fluttered weakly, revealing hundreds of thousands of tiny marks etched into their skin. Scars, really. Scars that wrote out curse after curse onto the spirit’s very being. They burned with evil intent, and even reached inside the spirit’s body and wrapped around their core.
Occasionally, blinding specks of color raced across their body, temporarily erasing the writing, but it always returned quickly. He watched, a little detached, as one particular line rewrote itself across their rough forearm, drawing fresh ectoplasm like someone was writing it with a thin knife.
“Are you…alright?” Danny stuttered. A stupid question.
The spirit cocked its head. He couldn’t see their eyes, but he felt their burning gaze as they pondered the question.
“The pain of others becomes mine own.” They rasped. “The lights of the city dim as rotten wealth clogs mine veins. Magicks long forgotten have eaten mine skins, pulled mine cloak, and darkened mine skies. Helios has refused to grace mine doorstep, and the seasons of the Earth have revoked their kindness.”
Danny held his breath. It felt like he was the one with the exposed core, not the spirit.
The spirit shivered once more. “Tell mine soul, little lamb. How could this Forsaken City know peace, when it was long since ripped from mine hands?”
Shit, he needed Frostbite. And maybe Clockwork. Now.
-Or-
Danny meets the spirit of Gotham City. The villains and rogues that have plagued the city for decades are literal curses that are taking quite the toll on Gotham, and honestly, Danny isn’t sure how much longer they can hold out. The heroes seem to be doing some help, and are probably the reason Gotham made it this far, but the poor city needs help from the Realms if they want to get better.
Luckily, Danny can provide that help.
But only if he could get Gotham to leave their city behind. Because recovery is going to take a very long time.
#dpxdc#pondhead blurbs#Gotham is very lanky and tall and had dozens of necklaces around their neck#the necklaces are just cords filled with lost things the citizens have lost over the years#like bits of glass or wedding rings or hag stones made from a destroyed gargoyle#actually I have a weird picture of Gotham in my head I might draw it#it’s giving Bloodborne to me but idgaf#basically Danny meets Gotham and is trying to convince them to go with him for medical help because what the fuck#those curses are the equivalent of leaving hundreds of leeches stuck to your body for ten years#Danny is BEGGING Gotham to come with him#there’s potential for angst but if you want crack then Danny probably replaces Gotham#I think there’s already a similar fic where he becomes the new spirit of Gotham but I haven’t read all of that#anyways the Batfam are like#invasive animals that are actually helping the ecosystem recover from an even WORSE invasive species#but they aren’t supernatural heroes and they don’t understand that the issue is deeper#I’m calling this the Curse of Hope because Danny is offering hope to Gotham#but Gotham is just so tired and sick and hurt that they don’t want to risk it#they think Danny is another curse come to plague them#should he just straight up adopt the city at this point?#idk it probably depends on how it’s written#sad course is to let Gotham die. happy ending is where they are treated and returned#crack ending probably has Danny adopting the city and introducing them to his own city spirit Amity Park#oh shit is that a new ship#guys please I can’t keep doing this#Gotham City x Amity Park#how the fuck do you come up with a name for that#Burger Joints?#Wet Pavement?#bro idk I’m putting this down before I make something I might regret#low key wanna write this but like. I have so much to do
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the WHRP team @ Wally
#c'mahn hes just a lil guy.... jus a silly goofy lil guy....#hes not being creepy as fuck on purpose. probably#hes just doing his best. and his best is creepy <3 and possibly unintentionally hurting people <3#scribble salad#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#i love all the 'wally is evil / wally is causing the team's distress and pain over the project'#because like. hes the Least malicious character i have ever seen. he seems just so so earnest and Does Not Know Whats Going On#hes too genuine. there's no way he'd intentionally hurt anyone. he's just trying to connect
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some of the extremely supportive but slightly[?] unhinged things wyll can say to the dark urge as they fight the wyll [haha] to peel off his face.
#wyll x durge#my favorite not included is that he just says: 'shit'#when durge tries to bite him#wyll ravengard#he's so funny and so fucked up#it's just so like 'welp. this is bad bad. huh?'#yes wyllyam. tis.#kaeliana x wyll#bg3#whew#cracked up so much from his reactions#like on a level it says so much about him. but on the other im dying bc ffs wyll.#the last is what he says when durge GROWLS at him????#wyllyam. we need to speak.#baby#like i know -- you spent your seven years in the wild just fiends and monsters as your company. but --#the first makes me sad and givesme so many feelings about wyll. 17. having to rise up and meet the gazes of what meant to hurt his city.#gaze of the devil who entrapped him. the gaze of the father who scorned him
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so normal about them <- been a sobbing mess for the past 7 hours
#qsmp#qsmp philza#qsmp forever#philever#sugarduo#IM NOT OKAY THAT CONVO GOT ME FUCKED UP FR#ACTUALLY AWFUL#PHIL CARES SO MUCH FUCKKK HE CARES HE'S ALWAYS SO WORRIED ABOUT FOREVER IT PAINS ME IT HURTS ME#my art
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she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let
and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment
and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.
and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment
and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?
to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.
and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.
you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.
#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now#writeblr#you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like#u don't HATE their partner explicitly#but ur like. what the fuck y'all#like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic#and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like#frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....''#and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her.#all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it#or ... that it really IS good#and it's just odd to you#tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship#like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend#it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time#around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like#.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond.#so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think#but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something#but knowing you CANNOT#idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person#edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up#PS EDIT: btw i should have said:#the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every#type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''
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u guys keep forgetting they are bitchy. the divorce is not gonna look like crowley trashing the bookshop or anything like that but it is gonna look like crowley reserving all the tables at the ritz for the day he knows aziraphale is going to be in town. aziraphale ordering angels to make it cloudy during an eclipse. crowley starting a bidding war over a prophecy book aziraphale wants. aziraphale undoing crowley’s miracle block on parking ticket officials. crowley ordering a cleaning service to the bookshop. aziraphale putting crowley’s apartament on mormon missionary’s lists. crowley and aziraphale separately bitching about the other to any human they coming into contact with and then being shocked when the human asks how long they had been with their ex. both of them religiously checking each other’s locations.
#inshallah they will fuck ☝️ but it’s gonna be this for a while#also like Crowley is gonna burn the bookshop down BEEEE REAL!#he would never#they are going to try so hard to inconvenience each other in the pettiest way but not actually hurt each other#they will yell tho#good omens#aziraphale#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#crowley#my post#good omens season 3
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"Maybe I needed it once. But I trained here, with The Flying Graysons, before I trained with you, Bruce. You know what the key is to a good trapeze act? Letting go...trusting that there's someone on the other side to catch you. You taught me a lot. But I learned from them to leap into the light. We're not the same, don't you see, Bruce? I had you." -Detective Comics #1074
hang on a minute y'all, I need to go scream into the abyss
#Dick saying that he doesn't need Bruce's coping mechanisms because Bruce helped him the way he was never helped himself....😭#I simply do not care that this is a hallucination THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME#Bruce saved Dick. He succeeded! He ensured that Dick wouldn't be another 8-year-old Bruce Wayne swearing vengeance in an alley!#and Dick saves him every single day just by being there and being a constant light in his life#to the point where he's just hallucinating Dick telling him that while on the mental road trip from hell#they're so fucked up. they hurt each other and heal each other and support each other through everything and cause each other so much grief#NO ONE is doing it like them!#dick grayson#bruce wayne#dc comics
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Adopt a Jock Part One / Part Two / Part Three PART FOUR YOU ARE HERE Part five
As always I own my entire soul to @chalkysgarbagefire
Steve didn't show up to lunch that Monday.
This was a problem, because Gareth and Eddie had carefully prepared the entirety of Hellfire to help make Steve play a D&D one-shot.
(Well, mostly Eddie--and he'd left out the parts about how the entire goal was to acclimate Harrington to hugs and high fives.
Gareth assumed that was a more careful conversation they'd all have later, outside of school grounds.)
"Eds, if you jiggle your legs any harder the table is going to take flight." Gareth complained, scooting away before he got jabbed in the gut.
"Where is he!?" Eddie muttered, glancing at his watch for what had to be the twenty-fifth time. “Are we sure he showed up to class this morning?"
Stewart, the only person to share a class with Harrington, gave their leader an exasperated look. "Yes, I’m sure."
He flicked his spoon, pointing it towards Eddie. "And yes he looked fine, yes, everything seemed normal, no I don't know why he's not here and no, no one fucking abducted him, or threatened him, or any of the other crazy excuses you keep coming up with!”
Eddie’s frown deepened as Gareth and Grant traded concerned glances.
"Maybe he just didn't want to sit with us today." Jeff remarked, approaching the topic with the same care a technician had when approaching a live bomb.
Gareth thought it was a smart move, considering Eddie looked like he was about to rocket into the ceiling.
"He's sat with us everyday, why would he change now?" Eddie argued.
"Maybe there's a basketball thing happening. Or he's saying hi to his jock buddies." Gareth tried, using the same cautious tone Jeff had.
"We’re his friends!" Eddie snapped, looking two seconds away from losing his shit entirely.
Almost unconsciously, Gareth and Jeff both raised a hand almost to try and help calm him.
Like he was a wild horse and they were the preteen girls in the movies determined to establish a bond before he killed their grandpa or some shit.
This was what happened when one deviated from a predetermined Munson-made plan. Not that Steve had known that of course, but then, he wasn’t exactly catching the fallout, was he?
‘I am making Harrington buy lunch after this.’ Gareth thought, as Eddie returned to bouncing both his legs almost frantically. ‘From someplace expensive.’
"Maybe Hargrove ate him." Grant suggested, as if the very thought of Billy Hargrove wouldn’t set Eddie off on a rampage.
"I could see it." Stewart agreed. "Dude has cannibal vibes."
"Not. Helping." Jeff hissed, his palm still in the air and hovering vaguely over Eddie’s shoulder.
Sure enough, Eddie’s entire body tensed at the mere mention of Hawkin High’s new King. "That’s it. We’re going to find him.”
“Have fun.” Tiff said, waving him off.
Eddie glared. “We’re all going.” He practically spat.
With a put upon sigh, Tiff set her food down. "You really want to spend the rest of our lunch period stalking around the hallways looking for Harrington?"
Eddie gripped the edge of the table so hard his knuckles went white.
"Yes Tiff, I do." He said, a manic gleam in his eyes.
He shoved up from the table, striking the kind of pose he often used during his rants. “This is a break in a pattern of behavior. A veer from an established path! This is the very first sign in every horror movie that something is wrong!”
He went to put his foot up on the edge of the table, like a pirate captain looking to the seas ahead, but instead missed it entirely and fell forward.
Eddie flailed for a moment, before managing to catch himself on the edge of the table. Instantly he began acting like he’d intended to fall like that from the start.
“I refuse to let any of us behave like idiotic, stupid, horror movie characters.” He finished dramatically, hair hanging in his face.
“You’ve been watching that Sherlock Holmes show again, haven’t you?.” Jeff asked him flatly.
“Among other things.” Gareth muttered, because as usual, he was the one who’d been watching said shows and movies with Eddie.
Not that it bothered him any, just that it meant he got to watch his best friend adopt new behaviors in real time.
Eddie flew back up, flinging his hair out of his face with a dramatic toss of his head.
“Come on my Watson’s! Let’s go find Harrington. I have a one-shot to pitch dammit!” Eddie outright yelled, flinging his arm skyward once again.
He got several startled glances in the cafeteria for it, but as used to Eddie as they all were, no one bothered to say anything to him.
“Why the fuck would we all be Watson?” Stewart muttered as he stood.
“I agree. Obviously, I’d be Watson.” Gareth said, also getting to his feet. “You’d be Mrs. Hudson.”
“Oh fuck you, I would at least be the other crazy smart dude.”
“Mycroft or Moriarty?”
“Mycroft.” Grant and Jeff chanted as one, the both of them putting their food away.
“Not one of you is any Sherlock Holmes character. Except maybe the dog.” Tiff cut in with an eye roll as she finally gave in and stood herself. "Now come on, let's go take Eddie for a walk."
Said metalhead flipped her the bird, but otherwise didn't protest.
(Probably because this wasn't the first time they'd had to do laps with Eddie.)
xXx
"Maybe he just went home." Gareth said reasonably some fifteen or so minutes later.
They'd made their way through the school, Eddie obnoxiously bursting through all the bathroom doors to loudly (and embarrassingly) yell for Steve.
They hadn't seen hide nor perfectly shaped hair of their wayward jock, and none of them were looking forward to trapezing around the outside of the school to hunt for him.
Thankfully, they didn't have to.
"Wait.” Tiffany asked, as they passed by the small little hallway leading to the art and photography rooms. “Is that Steve?"
Immediately all heads turned towards the direction she had pointed in.
"I think so?" Jeff guessed, eyeing the guy standing in the hallway down from them.
Gareth squinted, trying to get a better look. "Looks like." He agreed. "Also looks like Tiff was right, he is hanging out with other people."
Eddie tensed at that. A true feat, Gareth thought, because he was already wound so tight he looked in danger of snapping in half.
"Fucking useless." Tiff muttered.
Louder, she said; "Let's try that again. Isn't that our idiot jock with his ex-girlfriend and the guy she supposedly cheated on him with?"
The lot of them watched as Steve stood in one of his classic defensive positions (arms tucked into his sides, back rigid and chin down, like he was about to perform some kind of football tackle.)
Nancy Wheeler faced him, her own chin raised and her arms crossed like she was about to give the lecture of a lifetime.
In between them stood Jonathan Byers, though he was angled more towards his girlfriend than Steve. The guy practically radiated discomfort but seemed to be managing.
Even if his shoulders were practically above his ears.
It didn't exactly look like a two on one situation, but then it didn't not look like it either.
"Shit." Gareth said, which summed up the situation rather nicely.
"Should we go save him?" Grant asked, concerned.
Not one person moved.
Instead, all eyes went to their fearless leader--who was uncharacteristically silent.
Gareth took in the narrowed, frantic-turned-furious look upon his friend's face and wondered vaguely if he was going to have to stop a murder today.
Possibly two, depending on Byer’s involvement.
"Defensive position boys!" Tiffany called out, breaking the spell with sheer volume as she made the decision for them. "Eddie, you with us or not?"
Brave words for her, considering Gareth knew damn well that Tiff was often more bark than bite.
Thankfully, it worked.
"Right!" Eddie barked, jerking in place as he came back to himself. "Our Stevie needs us, men and Tiff!"
He pointed forwards, like a war general leading a charge. "Hellfire, move out!"
Fanning out into a triangle behind their club president, the lot of them followed as Eddie marched forward.
"You know I didn't mean it like that." Nancy was saying, and even though Gareth didn't know her he could tell she was frustrated.
"You have people you can talk to. You have m--" she cut herself off when Eddie strode up next to Steve.
Then blinked rapidly, reminding Gareth of a startled cocker spaniel when the rest of Hellfire fanned out around Harrington like wolves guarding their young.
(Or brightly colored and very angry ducks, but wolves sounded cooler.
Plus the last time he'd said something like this aloud; Grant had loudly informed him it was actually Muskox that made protective circles, Stewart brought up that triceratops were cooler, Jeff decided they should be bees and Tiffany had gone off on a tangent about badly done animal behavioral studies.)
"I daresay I agree!" Eddie said, taking a dramatic leap forward and startling Steve and Byers both.
That alone was a cause to worry--Gareth couldn't recall a single time Steve wasn't hyper-aware of his surroundings enough to get properly lost in it.
At least lost enough that he missed an entire group of people approaching.
"Steve is more than welcome to talk to people! His people." Eddie leaned forward a touch, the smirk on his face the one he used when he was playing up his role as the town's satanist cult leader.
To her credit, Nancy recovered remarkably fast. "I take it you believe that's you?"
Eddie reared back, like a cobra rising to strike. "Why Nancy Wheeler, Stevie here is an adult and can choose who he wants to talk to.”
He turned, one hand over his heart and the other held out to Steve. " Ain’t that right, big boy?”
Nancy and Byers both just stared.
Gareth couldn’t blame them, he was staring too.
Apparently deciding Eddie was too ridiculous to deal with, Nancy returned instead to talking to Steve--who, Gareth noted with more than his fair share of pride, looked a bit more grounded now that Hellfire had arrived.
“I understand that we’re in a weird place right now, but you have to know I still care about you, right?” Nancy bit her lip, clearly unhappy to have an audience but plowing ahead anyway.
"I'm fine, Nance.” Steve told her, voice steady, but growing flat.
He was shutting down--shutting her out, if not everyone out. Gareth knew, if only because he’d watched Harrington do it to them more than once.
(Knew because he himself had shut downs just like this. Eddie and Nancy were the kind of people who got loud in their anger, demanding people see and face them.
Gareth on the other hand, even with his more explosive temper, often ended up more like Steve when faced with breakdowns with people he cared about. He didn’t want to hurt them. To say the wrong thing, to lash out when someone was just trying to help.
It was safer to shut up, back away and put some distance between yourself and whoever had pissed you off.)
Either Nancy wasn’t aware of that or was too deep into her own emotions to see it, because she took a half step forward. “I know you’re not fine. I know you, Steve.”
“Not anymore you don’t.” Steve responded, and Gareth wondered if he realized he was leaning away from her--and towards Eddie.
Considering the way Wheeler’s eyes bounced between them, he knew she definitely had.
Quite possible Byers too, from how he had to stop himself from pulling Nancy away.
“I’ve been working hard to become someone else.” Steve added. “So you don’t have to feel responsible for me. I’m not your problem anymore.” He spoke without malice, just with the pure emptiness of someone who completely believed everything he said.
“Steve-” Nancy protested, but Eddie cut her off.
"You heard him." He said, peacocking his little social win in a way only Eddie could. "Now if you don't mind, I have extremely important things to discuss and you have cut drastically into my time."
He flicked his fingers in a shoo gesture, one that made Nancy's eyes spark in a way that quite frankly, terrified Gareth.
"Fine." She grit out through clenched teeth. "You know I’m always available to talk, Steve."
She strode off, passing Steve and the rest of Hellfire without a glance backwards.
"Sorry man." Jonathan muttered apologetically to Steve as he passed, following after his girlfriend.
Steve waved him off.
"Well she's just a delight." Jeff muttered, once Nancy was well out of hearing range.
Steve's entire chest heaved in a sigh, swaying slightly backwards as if the entire confrontation had physically drained him.
"She's trying to help.” Steve muttered softly, scrubbing a hand down his face. “She's just...coming at it wrong."
He turned, seeming to finally notice that all of Hellfire was there. "What are you all doing out here anyway?"
"Rescuing you." Grant informed him.
"From Nancy and Jonathan?" Steve said in disbelief.
Like Byers hadn't supposedly kicked his ass already. Nevermind the moping Wheeler had caused.
(The entire school had witnessed the moping.
It was, after all, part of what had drawn Eddie to Steve.)
"Yes." Tiff replied bluntly. “Also if she corners you like that again, I will make it my personal mission in life to top all her test scores.”
"I--okay." Steve blinked rapidly, clearly unsure of how to process that.
“Not that I needed rescuing,” He continued after a moment, staring at the whole group. “But why were you looking for me in the first place?”
His voice was slowly recovering, coming out of that weird flatness it had scrunched itself into. It was an excellent sign, a sign of trust, and Gareth leapt to keep it before someone could say something stupid and fuck it up.
"Eddie needed you to pitch his next one shot idea and couldn't wait for you to show up." Gareth admitted. “We decided to hunt you down since you were missing lunch.”
“Oh.” Steve blinked again, and though it’d be concerning on anyone else, the guy just looked like a lost puppy. “I’m sorry man.”
“It's alright Stevie. I just thought you'd totally ditched us.” Eddie sniffed dramatically, looking like he was going to wing an arm around Steve’s shoulder but thought better of it. “No biggie.”
He pouted, and made absolutely sure Steve could see him do it.
“Is this you trying to get more of my M&M brownies?” Steve asked after a moment.
“Oh my dear, sweet, athletic friend. Not at all. Instead, you are going to play the one shot I worked so hard on.” Eddie bounced his shoulder into him as he spoke.
It was a weird little compromise the two of them seemed to have, since Gareth had regularly witnessed Eddie ping-ponging off Steve’s shoulders. “Let us break your tabletop cherry.”
“Or what?” Steve asked, the tiniest bit of humor peaking through.
Eddie stared at him, abruptly still and completely serious. “I will cry, Steven. Loudly.”
It brought a small smile to Steve’s face.
“Fine. I’ll play your dumb dweeb game.” He said, and couldn’t seem to stop the smile from overtaking his face when Eddie threw his arms in the air and cheered.
“Come on, I’m pretty sure the bell rang forever ago.” Jeff said, as they began to venture out back to the main hallway.
(“Hey guys?” Steve asked, right before they all split up to go to their various classes. “Thanks. For the save.”
Eddie positively beamed. “Anytime, Steve. Anytime.”)
xXx
“Hey Gareth?” Steve asked a few days later, joining Gareth in the library during his free period.
(Gareth himself was skipping, because if he had to listen to yet another lesson on the Crucible he was going to declare himself a satan worshiping witch and demand to be hanged.)
Gareth hummed to show he heard, as he carefully took stock of the loot he’d gotten from their last game. Eddie had been pretty good about it for once, and he wanted to look things over before the one shot.
“Can I ask kind of a weird question?” Steve rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed.
“Shoot, Stevie.” Gareth replied, finally comfortable enough to use the main nickname Eddie had nailed the poor guy with.
“Did Eddie give me a character with bad eyesight or “night vision” or whatever, because he thinks I have bad eyesight?” Steve’s fingers made sassy little air quotations around “night vision” because he knew damn well it wasn’t called that and didn’t want to get chewed out.
It was appreciated, even if it was cheeky as shit.
Gareth stopped writing. “Why’d you think that?”
“He just keeps acting like I’m my character.” Steve replied with a shrug. “Like all that stuff we planned about how my character gets around and relies on the group since he can’t see that great in the daylight? He does it for me too.”
“It’s Eddie, he’s eccentric.” Gareth struggled to keep a straight face, trying not to give the game away.
Laughing would absolutely clue Steve in to the fact that Eddie was doing it on purpose.
“He just keeps telling me before he touches me. Outside of the game.” Steve continued, utterly baffled.
Of course, Eddie was doing far more than that, in order to keep up the appearance that he was just being a weirdo who was too into his game. (Instead of trying to alert Steve to the fact he was going to lean on him, hug him, or do any other thing involving skin to skin contact that usually made Harrington panic.)
“If you don’t like it you should tell him,” Gareth said. He knew it was the better option, encouraging Steve to communicate. They could come up with something else if this was too weird (as frankly, many of Eddie’s plans could be.
Bless the guy but he had a habit of going for the dramatic over the practical.)
“No!” Steve protested, far too quickly.
He cleared his throat with a cough, and continued in a much calmer voice, “No, I don’t wanna ruin his fun or anything.”
As far as excuses go for letting something happen it was a weak one, but Gareth wasn’t going to call him on it. If Steve wanted to hide behind Eddie and his “fun” then Gareth would happily pretend to buy it.
Would buy whatever excuse Steve needed, to help make the guy feel more comfortable and like himself than the still often vacant ghost that hung around now.
“Just wanted to know if he actually thought my eyesight sucked.” Steve finished in a mumble.
“Well you did trip over the curb that one time.” Gareth teased playfully, and shot a grin at Harrington when that awkward look of his melted into something more offended.
“I was walking backwards!” Steve defended, his normal, almost bitchy tone returning.
“Uh-huh. And what about when you almost ate shit over that garbage can and Eddie had to save you?” Gareth taunted.
He grinned, watching as a blush overtook the older boys face, Steve glancing away frantically and--
Oh.
Oh!
'Oh-ho, ho, ho!' Gareth thought with absolute glee. The entire fucking school knew what Steve looked like when he had a crush, (Steve himself had made sure of that with Nancy) and Gareth recognized the beginning of it happening all over again.
Steve Harrington had a crush.
On Eddie.
Gareth could work with this.
“You know….” He paused, grin turning sly as a sudden idea came to him. “If you want to mess with Eddie a little bit I have an idea.”
Steve stared at him, confused. “Why would we want to mess with him?”
Gareth leaned forward. “Because pranks are fun, Harrington. Legend has it you even used to do them.”
Steve still didn't look convinced, but the nice thing about a man like Steve was that all Gareth had to appeal to was his sense of adventure.
“Now." He clapped his hands together in a move that had very much been stolen years ago from Eddie. "How good are your acting skills?
Meant to post this yesterday but I got surprise laid off last week and that pushed me back a bit, sorries! Absolutely related, I have a Ko-Fi now lmao. It’s https://ko-fi.com/sp0o0kyghosthost
Unemployment should go through just fine so I don’t really think I need to full panic but hey if you wanna throw me a dollar and yell “Dance writer dance!” I’ll do a lil tippy-tap jig.
#fucking jobs#this ones a bit more whumpy#steddie#pre steddie#they gettin there though#hellfire adopts Steve#adopt a jock#eddie munson#steve harrington#gareth emerson#Nancys in this one#she cares theres just a lot of hurt there#Eddie on the other hand is JEALOUS#that is HIS jock thank you!#He is REHABBING that jock!#dont you make his Stevie sad!#Gareth is now playing matchmaker#Lap Wars is coming
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Something about the fact that these shots are all grouped together, one after another, visually giving them equal weight just gets me. The narrative knows what's going to happen between JGY and Huaisang at this point, knows how it's going to treat JGY at the end of everything. And it still takes time to show Meng Yao instinctively and immediately going in front of Huaisang and Huaisang instinctively and immediately hiding behind him. It takes the time--literally, showed it in the background and focused on it with the same general amount of time as the other shots--to show that this act of protection and trust are just as real and true as Jiang Cheng defending his sister, as Wen Qing defending her younger brother.
Like, I dunno! There are other Nie juniors there! They have swords and shit! Huaisang could have gone and hid behind the wall, but he hid behind Meng Yao! And Meng Yao could have moved back with Huaisang, but he steps directly in front of him!
There's a lot CQL did to JGY's character and narrative that I don't like and that flatten or just straight up erase his full complexity. But I really appreciate the lengths that it went to in Episode 4 to explicitly tell us that he does not hesitate to protect Huaisang, even though at this point he does not have a sword and definitely does not have anywhere near the same cultivation power (if any) as any of the rest of the people in the room.
Right now, after being publicly humiliated, unarmed and definitely outclassed, he is brave. Along with the rest of the characters, he's allowed to be uncomplicatedly young and loyal and just as innocent as any of the other students there.
#Besides Wen Chao fuck u bud#Honestly I think that along with Xichen Huaisang is the other person he legitimately never considered hurting#(In the same way that he didn't consider killing Mingjue hurting them but I digress)#With Xichen I think there were plenty of times were he came to the conclusion that fucking him over or overtly manipulating him#in a disadvantageous way would benefit himself and he actively decided that he would not do that#Whereas with Huaisang I just get the impression that it never occurred to him to do that#And I'm not saying that was ALWAYS out of the goodness of his heart#I think he genuinely didn't think he would get anything out of taking advantage of Huaisang personally or politically#Which is not the most ringing of endorsement next to 'I knew I could and chose not to'#But it wasn't ALWAYS that#for a man who has to constantly be on guard and look for leverage in every single interaction and aspect of his life#I think it's pretty significant that he let Huaisang in so close that he was shocked when he found a metaphorical sword in his chest#along with the physical one#Because in never trying to hurt him he never felt he had to defend against him#He loved him. They both loved each other :(#Also him finding Huaisang's bird antics so genuinely amusing in the background of this ep is just 😭#jgy#nhs#my stuff#jgy meta#nhs meta#text
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