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#HE CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HER HES LITERALLY HER DAD
dollypopup · 1 day
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"Colin had no trauma related to love and self worth like Anthony. Anthony watched his father die, watched his mum turn into a ghost of a person, and didn't want that for his wife"
Bestie. . .they have. . .the same dad???? They have the same mum???? Literally all of the Bridgerton children except Hyacinth watched Edmund die? They all experienced Violet's immense sorrow? He and Violet obviously have a very close connection and so of course he saw her wilting (plant pun, if you were wondering) or at least knew about it and has responded with being particularly gentle with her?
Trauma shaped all the Bridgertons. Colin was a young boy when his dad passed and everyone in the family experienced an immense grief and, unlike his brothers, Colin was twelve, he wasn't the heir, he wasn't the spare, and had no responsibility but to go to school (sent off elsewhere after his dad passed away, thus disconnected from his circle of support and family) and figure out how to be a man from strangers and rakes. Literally no one had space for his grief and sensitivity? He even cries alone in his bedroom in Season 1 and stops talking about his travels after he gets made fun of in Season 2 and claims that hardly anyone replied to his letters in Season 3 like what do you mean he has no trauma related to love?
Colin was right there on the steps watching his father cradled in his mother's arms as she wept over his sudden passing. Of course he has trauma related to love? Colin's entire arc was about how he only felt he could be cared about if he was pleasing the people around him or being useful in some way and putting on a mask and a persona so he wouldn't be hurt by how much no one else wanted the real, messy, authentic him around? His mum and dad lived a love story and Colin watched it fall to pieces just as all the Bridgertons did, he just internalized it differently. His entire family was grieving so he decided to be useful by offering levity where he could, especially as the brother raised predominately with his sisters, Eloise and Daphne.
And yet despite the fact that this was such a huge tragedy of his childhood, Colin still is incredibly emotionally available and as soon as he realized what he felt for Penelope was romantic, he takes initiative and he cuts into her dance with Debling and he chases after her carriage so he can confess that he can't stop thinking about her and he's not at all angry at her, she doesn't vex him, it isn't frustration at her- it's torture because he is so damn besotted with her that he dreams of her and the kiss they shared haunts him but it's torture he embraces because he's a romantic soul who is incredibly emotionally brave and he cares about Penelope more than he cares about his ego or image or past hurts.
Give my man his flowers.
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The Chains Are Heavy
(Levi's long awaited backstory, finally)
Special thanks to everyone who has been following and rp with me. You really have helped make this character more than he was meant to be.
(@fukuzawa-armeddaddyagency @tired-sayaka-ada @never-gets-sick @oscarsgallery @city-of-c0rpses @v-extreme-diminuendo @kijimha )
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How did I get here again? It could all have been a simple life for me, but it wasn't. Ever since I became 10, I was rob. Robbed of my family, friends, goals, dreams, my childhood, and most importantly my innocence.
Not just my innocent mentally, but literally too. I lost my innocence of being a civil. They all hate me now. Rightfully so. After all I have been nothing but a danger to everyone around me. All I did was make things worse. This war could have ended quicker if it way for me....
How did I get here again....
Foul Ball
It all started on March 22, a day after my birthday and two days after my best buddy's birthday, Cooper. We have been friends since daycare and being in the nursery at church. Cooper was a year younger than me, he was a wild kid, always taking things to the risk or the extreme. Super fast as well, faster than all of the kids on the playground, running was one of his passions. Cooper once told me that when he grows up he'll become a track star. As silly as it sound he had my full support, because you could never say no to Cooper. You could never tell him what to do.
I on the other hand was the balance for Cooper's wild behavior. Much more soft spoken and tame for a 10 year old. I may have not been the fastest runner, but I sure did have a good arm at throwing things. I had a goal, to become the world's best baseball player. It was my dream after all, to be on the professional teams and be famous. I wanted to make my mom proud
I must admit some of my behavior is like that, mostly because I was a mommas boy. It was just her and I after all, which I didn't mind. Though sometimes Cooper would joke that his dad, who was also single, should marry my mom so that we can be brothers and live together. I always told him that we wouldn't need legal documents in order to be brothers. As long as we stick together we will always be brothers.
Well that promise didn't last long... Cooper and I wear out in the front yard of my house, playing baseball as usual. I was using my new metal bat that I got for my birthday, it was much stronger than my old wooden bat. We were having a fun time, Cooper was about to throw the ball until he arm suddenly dropped and let go of the ball.
"What's wrong?" I asked as I turned my head to see what Cooper was now looking at. My eyes widen and I start to feel the same sense of fear that Cooper might be feeling. Two black cars parked in my driveway, and five government agents came out of them. My heart skips a beat. It can't be.
I watched as the knocked on the front door of my home, my mom answering it a second later. The government agents start talking to her, and even though I couldn't hear what they were saying, I could tell by the look on mom's face that this way good.
Cooper tugged on my sleeve. "You don't think the president actually signed that bill right?..." Cooper looked worried now, and I so was I. I clenched my fist into my shirt.
"He would only sign it if war ever started....." The realization dawned upon us both. My lips trembled. "I don't want to go to war...." I mumbled those words with tears falling from my eyes.
That was the last day I ever saw my mom again.
That was the day I was robed of everything.
Strike 1
A 10 year old out in the battlefields of war, that isn't something you saw everyday. But here I was, fearing that my life could end at any moment in these trenches. And it would be like this for the next 9 years.
It took some adjusting to, though there was no time to adjust. Hand a gun to a 10 year old and tell him to go to the trenches and figure it out. I wasn't even given training. They didn't care. They wouldn't care about me. I was a child who would get in their way.
I didn't blame them. After all this wasn't the military decision after all, it was the horrible president at the time who made this decision. What the Nimone government did was cruel. They went through every legal citizen document and determined who would be drafted into war. We already had plenty of men above 18 drafted, but it wasn't enough. With the law at the time, anyone who was above 10 years old, could be drafted if they were proved useful enough to be used.
And that's what upset me the most. That I was just some weapon in their eyes. A tool to be once and never again. I wasn't the only one upstairs though. Many parents and families were upstairs by this dumb decision. It wasn't just families either, it was our own men as well who were outraged by this decision.
Upon my first day at the military base I met the leader of my unit squad, Captain Ross. He was a tall and well built man, always having a cigarette in hand and giving cold gazes at everyone. It was scary first meetings him. After all, the captains in the Nimone are train and built to be unstoppable military weapons. Nothing can stop them, and they will not stop until they are dead.
Being compared to this grown man compared to me was quite scary contrast. I was just some tiny kid compared to him. We both looked at each other for the first time and I can tell by the look in his mustard yellow eyes that he was displeased. There was a scoff as Ross stared down at me. "Who the Hell put a 10 year old in my unit squad? This is a kid, he should be home, not here about to die for our country." At least Ross and I were on the same page. Who's mess up idea was this anyways?
Everything from that day forward continued to go down. You expect the 10 year old to be a helper in transporting supplies or be in the med bay, but no I was thrown straight to the front lines. The trenches. The conditions of trenches were horrible, but the treatment around here was worse.
I wasn't given proper clothes that were my size, everything I worn was made for grown men. I had to learn how to sew to keep my shirt together because I wasn't given new clothes. I been wearing the same shirt the militarily gave me for over 10 years now.
The bunks were hard as rocks, I could barely sleep. That's even if I could sleep at all within the anxiety that any moment a bomb could drop on us. Sometimes I didn't even get to sleep in bed. Someone I would pass out in the trenches or on the floor. I had to push myself to still be barely functional.
They needed me after all, all for my ability. It was either fighting in the trenches, or infiltrating the enemy team as a spy. With my ability I could look, sound, and act like someone else as long as I had a single strand of their DNA on a peice of clothing for me to wear, I could transform to be like them. Mirror Mirror, I called it. This was useful to the military, since I had to use it a lot. My ability was the only reason why I was still living while fellow soliders fall dead to the floor before my eyes.
They all started calling me DNA, Levi DNA, since that's what I was to them. I was called that name so many times that to this day I can't remember my own real last name now. That war has made me forget a lot of things.
Strike 2
I try to suppress the memories and nightmares so hard, but at the cost of forgetting anything good before the war. I was robed of the memories of my childhood because of it. Even if I did try to forget, the ones that were the worse always lingered in the back of my mind. All those moments of being in pain and suffering. Everything was starting to become dull around 18.
This was had been going on for so long that I was loosing my reason to keep fighting. As if I ever had a reason to in the first place. I was just doing what I was told. Go spy on these guys, aim for the head, use your ability, back to the battlefield you go. All words that have no importance to me anymore.
I remember one time I was in the medical bay, I had gotten badly injured, but even in that moment I couldn't rest for long. Dr. Ikari, a young man who never got to finish school, had to patch me up. Unfortunately he had to send me right back out to the battlefield a minute after he was done attending me. I could tell by the look in his eyes that we were feeling the same thing. This dullness that we both felt. I barely talked to him, but I could tell that both of our worlds were become gray.
When I was around 19 I thought there was nothing left to look forward to. The war was slowing down but I was already numb. Or so I thought until one day I saw a familiar face. Jumps off the bus was a familiar red head, it was Cooper! For the first moment in a long time I smiled as I saw him. He spotted me and we waved to each other. He still recognized me! I never felt more happy in that moment.
At last we can be like brothers again. Things became less dull, there was some color back into my life. Things were finally looking up. We would sit in the dining hall, eating the worst food, but that didn't matter to me. I got to talk to. My best friend.
Cooper would catch me up on everything that I have missed and I would vent to him about how this war was. His optimism brought up my spirits, which brought me to ease. He barely has changed since I last saw him, my same old buddy. We promised that once this war was over that we would support each other while we fulfilled our dreams. A track star and a baseball player.
Strike 3
That promise didn't stay.
I was robed again.
I could never forget that moment.
We were out in the battlefield, trying to traverse no man's land, our side finally had the upper hand in closing end on the enemy. But we lost many men that day, including Cooper.
He didn't react faster in time. Before I knew it, I was cradling his dying body in my arms, blood dripping from his forehead. Cooper was shot in the head. I couldn't stop crying. I wasn't even fighting anymore. All I did was lay on the battlefield, holding him closer to me. "Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me." I would mumble to myself through tears.
But he left. I believe now that he's resting well with God in heaven.
In that moment I could forgive myself. I couldn't forgive the enemy team. I couldn't forgive our own government for all of this. Things were becoming dull again, but there was this redness starting to boil in the inside of me. This ticking time bomb.
Then it happened.
I had enough.
The day I finally snapped.
I'm out
I regret everything I have done in that span of a week. I was the reason why things got worse. It was little things at first. Ignoring Ross commands, running straight into dangerous territory and slaughtering the enemies, or throwing a grenade at helicopters. Then it got worse, I destroyed many of our own military weapons and transport, with some of our own men still in them. I set some of the base on fire. Gave valuable information to the enemy team. Held hostages of innocent people. Many things.
All these things became documented, published for all the public to see. Soon Levi DNA became a name to hate. I was a danger to everyone around me. That I need to be killed or locked up away forever.
There were two final straws that let to my arrest. The president at the time came over to the base, there for a impossible meeting. He was the reason why I was suffering like this. With all the rage built up in me, I tried to assassinate the president. It took 6 guys to stop me from doing so.
But I wasn't done that day. The worst thing that I have done was use me ability for a murder. I transformed to look like Captain Ross, committing a murder on the previous vice captain at that time, making it look like he was the one who did it. I baseball almost ruined his name and reputation.
He hated me that day since.
There I was, now arrested and locked away in a high prison facility. Ross took the pleasure to torture me in breaking my spirit, in which he did. There was nothing to look forward to anymore. Everything had became gray once again. I felt nothing as I sat in my dark cell, chained to the wall. I didn't deserve good treatment. I didn't deserve kindness or anything good. After all a criminal, a monster, doesn't deserve anything at all.
There was no reason for me to live anymore, and I was ready to accept that.
For a long time in that cell I would be in my own little headspace, daydreaming that I was living a better life with my family and friends. It was my only "joy" left. But even that couldn't be enough.
I was ready to end it all, yet a tiny part of me told me not yet. One more chance. I try to ignore that tiny bit of hope left, but I caved in. I made a promise to myself, that if I could not find a reason to continue on living in a month, then I would end it all.
So I acted. With brute force I broke out of that prison. I snuck onto a boat headed towards Japan. I free myself and upon leaving Nimone to Japan, I did find one major thing to keep me living. The sun and rakn. The sun was so warm and bright, great against my skin and the rain was so calming and cooling.
This was my chance to start again.
Back in the game
Upon arriving to Japan, I ended up in Yoko's city. There I was already lost and confused. I didn't know where to go or where to stay. I didn't know Japanese so asking for help was a impossible.
For my first few weeks there I was a hobo, wandering around, taking food out of trash cans. I found a abandon car to sleep in for the nights, but I barely got sleep. Things weren't looking good again. I desperately needed a job.
But who would hire a criminal?
That's until I stumbled upon this building and this man with probably over 20 children. His name was Mr Fukuzawa. And upon meeting him, my life was never the same again. Things changed, for the good this time. And I was welcomed into a new life with such amazing and kind people. My world had color again.
I'm forever thankful for that day.
Thank you.
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puck-bunny-for-all · 3 days
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CEO of being a DICK - Q.H
REQUEST : For the written idea I was thinking about quinn being kinda mad cuz he learned that maybe a reader's ex from high school is now working at the same company as her and they have been kinda catching up cuz their families used to be friends and he is like sp smart and bbyQ feels like she is spending way too much time with her ex (but they just hang out at working hours yk). So one time she's telling q about her day and he's looking kinda bored and she ask him about his attitude so everything explodes. I let their make up to you😘
"Have the best day at work and I will see you when I get home." you began as you grab your work bag, coffee mug, and the Stanley cup you have filled with ice water all for your long day at work. You worked at a law firm for your high school ex's dad ironically enough you were just thankful your ex didn't care much for the art of law so you had yet to run into him. Things ended on ok terms with both of you understanding that it just wasn't right and neither of you were invested fully into the relationship. "Thank you my love, I think I might go over to Petey's place with some of the guys after morning skate, but I'll text you and I cant wait to hear about your day." Quinn replies. You give him a kiss and a hug and head on your way, on your way to the parking garage of your building you hear your phone go off and you check it to make sure its nothing serious. Hey there, just wanted to give you a quick heads up we have a new part time hire starting today. Since office space is limited we gave him the empty desk in your office for now. Hope that's ok! -xx Tammy. Tammy was your bosses assistant and handled all his client meetings and you always had a sweet spot for her because she was always giving you the heads up for things.
You pull up to work and collect your belongings and head into the office building. It wasn't a big one about 5 offices in total and a lobby with a waiting room for clients and a receptionist named Lanie who had been there for about 7 years. "Hi there Lacey how's it going?" you say greeting the older lady. She waved to you and you continue into your office and are greeted by a familiar voice. "No way YOU are my office buddy?" Your ex exclaimed as you walk in to your little office. "Oh hey there been a while, last time I saw you I thought you didn't care for law" "Yeah but my dad said he would pay me to work a little and answer some calls and I am back in town for a few months so why not.
You went about your day and return home and set your stuff down on the dining room table. As youhead into your shared room with Quinn he's fast asleep and you assume that's why he hasn't responded to any of your texts today. Practice must have been intense and you're sure that the guys still convinced him to go to Petey's place. You take off your heels and start to get changed to go take a shower. "If this is what I knew I would wake up to I would have slept naked." you hear Quinn say. You giggle, pause what you're doing and walk over to him in your skirt and bra. You give him a kiss as he pulls you into his chest, and kisses you all over your head.
"Tell me about your day lover." he says in-between kisses. You tell him the little you can about your day due to privacy laws and mention your ex to which you feel Quinn stiffen under you. Quinn knew about your history with your ex and to be honest the thought of you being with anyone but him made him very angry, it is just how much he truly loved you. You pick your head up and look at him, "Everything ok?" you ask. "Yeah mhm." Quinn replies rolling his eyes. "If I knew my ex would cause you to go mute I wouldn't have brought him up." you say giggling. "Are you actually serious right now?" he replies. You sit up and look at him confused "what do you mean"
"You're literally telling me about how a guy you used to date is working with you in your office and may I mention again you had feelings for this guy??" "Q you cannot seriously be getting mad right now." you say getting the rest of the way undressed getting annoyed with his tone. "Ok so let me fucking call up my ex and go get coffee with her. Then I'll let you know everything we talk about." "Fuck you Quinn Hughes." you replied walking into the bathroom and shutting the door.
You turn on the speaker you have in the bathroom and get in the shower. Glad you have the music on you let the tears flow, you know that Quinn doesn't like the idea of you having shared your self with anyone else but you can't believe he just said that. Could you though... you began thinking and decided that you did in fact owe him an apology and you should have been more considerate in the way you broke the news rather than being casual.
You hear the door open and feel him step in the shower and wrap his arms around you. "I'm really sorry for being a dick like that out there. You don't deserve to be spoken to like that." "No Quinn I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just brought up my ex like that in causal conversation. I know how you feel about that and it was wrong of me." "Then I guess we are both sorry." he says looking down at you. You stand on your tippy toes and press a kiss to his lips. "Well if that offer of sex is still on the table I'm down." he says smiling at you.
AN : Ok hi. my ex is letting my daughter spend the night with him woot woot. Here's my first ever written request. Idk how I feel about it or if I would wanna do another one but yeah.
Hope ya like and lots of luv
xoxoxox, M
tags : @lukey-pookie-hughes43 and @skylershines
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Every Kataang vs Zutara argument since the start has been only 2 things
A Zutara shipper attacks a Kataang shipper,often on a properly tagged post
A Zutara says something extremely bigoted and a Kataang shipper calls them gross for it and the Z/K shipper whines 'it's only fiction'
That's literally all this is.That's all it's ever been.All Kataang shippers have done is exist and have a moral backbone and all Zutara shippers have ever done is ignore and shit on Atla's radicalization messages and positive representation because they were so focused on their crush on Zuko they refused to absorb any of it and same goes for his redemption arc that was about him unlearning propaganda,giving reperations and breaking the cycle of abuse by becoming a pseudo-dad to Aang so he could heal his inner child,help out traumatized kids like he used to be and grow up to be his abuser's opposite to twist it into liberal 'Privileged people can never be abusers because it's just the way they were raised and shouldn't be blamed' bullshit and never have to self-reflect even though that was the whole thing that started the famous 'Zuko style redemption arc' phrase and show they asses as poser comrades since they think anarchism and activism is 'violence good' and nothing else
Zutara shippers do not have a right to start fights with Kataang shippers for posting anti Zutara or pro Kataang if the posts are tagged properly and i've noticed a certain few specific users on here who deliberately seek out those posts to 'debunk' and condesend the ops when nobody asked,nobody cares and nobody likes them and this is exactly what i mean with Z/K stans' extremist bigotry.Aang may not be real but the buddhists and tibetans and traumatized children you're insulting with your words of him are.Zuko may not be real but the asian men and mentally ill parental abuse victims and physically disabled people you're fetishizing with your potrayals of him are.Katara may not be real but the native women and punk women and adultitified girls you're degrading by erasing her radicalism are.Atla is not just a fictional cartoon,it's a mirror into our world's minorities told as a story and if it just a fictional cartoon,why don't Zutara shippers let it go?Zutara was never even offered to them and Zukka is not only not 'just Zutara but gay' since the dynamics are super different and Sokka is Katara's opposite but also a point in Zukka's favor seeing as Z/S shippers always ship Kataang,Korrasami and pretty much any combo of the TLA era girls and sometimes even perfer them to Zukka so it's plenty obvious they don't hate women and literally half of them ARE women with a fair amount of trans women specifically so they're's way more feminist Zukkas than they're are feminist Zutaras,who mind you are one thee definers for gender essentialist and ciscentric ships and shippers groups
Zutara shippers are not a minority.Nobody hates Zutara out of internalized misogyny because wanting Katara to date Zuko is not rooted in feminism and neither is having a crush on Zuko yourself on it's own and i say this as a Zuko selfshipper that made an Atlasona to be with him after reading the comics.New Atla kids don't deserve to have their experiences ruined by oldies who think ageism and gatekeeping is a term only for adults and when people tell you not to be bigots and roast you for it because bigotry is a very,very,VERY real thing in every context and you don't get to get away with it because you're saying to someone online or about depictions of real minorities.If somebody insults you for being a Zutara shipper,then you definitely used Zutara as an excuse to do something to earn it first.Zutara is not activism and Aang was and still is more revolutionary than your palpable ship could ever be and you hated him for it because you're jealous of him just like you are irl anarchists,activists and poc like him because we prioritize being good people over being normal and you were taught that's bad and that it means we must be 'on the wrong side' for it because you want him to be since once again,wished to date Zuko too much to learn from him instead or to let Katara be anything at all.Kataang shippers aren't to blame for that-You are.It's time to grow up
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nereidprinc3ss · 6 hours
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so um, i wanted to rant in here for a little bit. so far, i have loved your dybmn series and this makes me think that the way you write your characters complexities is so good. i’m a little afraid of sharing this as everyone here seems to love dybmn spencer.
because god, spencer is so unfair and insufferable. reader is insecure but not as unbelievable unbearable as spencer, i understand if i might be misinterpreting this but it was easy to deduce he would be the one projecting his own insecurities on reader.
it annoys me how he won’t give her the opportunity to truly enjoy her body as she wants to sexually engage with him. he claims he wants her and cares for her pleasure but sometimes it doesn’t really look like it, it feels like some sort of manipulative traumatic tactic to actually hold her hostage even though he says he’s not.
it’s contradictory. just because everything went wrong with elle, which is WEIRD considering his whore phase doesn’t gives him the right to expect that much from reader. god, he’s a profiler. he might not be able to actually read minds but i’m pretty sure he’s perfectly capable of picking up clues with his IQ.
specially during her first fucking time with a man. how would he want her to tell him she loves him if she’s still soooooooo inexperienced? literally how? i feel bad for reading it this way but the andromeda chapter fucked me upppp. there were all sorts of theories going on my mind after i read it.
she knows nothing about relationships and is constantly put into the dangerous position of wanting to please him, he never forces her but it’s pretty obvious she TRIES. how is that not enough for him? and it’s not just the sex, he has always had her affection at his disposition (i say this according to the way she’s agreed to accept his invitations to events like the bar or film festivals, the way she’s constantly kissing him without being sexual and always asking for him).
nevertheless, i’m really excited to see how the series will be evolving as they go. every chapter comes up with something new and i love that we’re able to theorize about it. i just really hope we get a big apology from spencer because….
i’m keeping this one:
💐
thank u so much for taking the time to share ur thoughts!! I rlly appreciate it lovely!! and honestly i don’t think you’re alone in disliking dybmn spencer😭 he gets a lot of hate!!
me explaining stuff abt reid below👇 there are reasons for him being the way he is it’s not ALL inexcusable i promise!!
he is honestly probably more insecure than reader. one thing a lot of people have asked me is “how does it make sense for him to be so traumatized from what happened with elle and still have slept with a ton of women after” and honestly psychologically speaking it’s really not a reach that he would have done that! often when people are really insecure about themselves they seek reassurance and validation from other people, and sometimes they go about getting that validation through sex! i imagine since elle he’s never had a real committed romantic relationship and it’s all been very casual hookups, sometimes w the same people but never breaching into romance territory (don’t mention maeve idk if she’s canon or not in dybmn universe lol)
and I don’t think he’s holding her hostage, he just truly can’t imagine that she loves him back. and if you think about it he has every reason not to. his affection hasn’t been reciprocated or received well for most of his life (elle, his dad, his mom, jj (sorry for bringing up jeid)). even if you’re receiving all the input that someone likes you, if you hate yourself enough you’ll go to crazy lengths to not believe it.
i agree that it’s not super healthy, but he knows that! in my mind that’s actually why he told her on the phone that they didn’t feel the same way—he was trying to essentially be like hey girl you should know im pretty sure you don’t like me as much as i like you, and that’s fine, but if it makes you uncomfortable then we should talk about it because i don’t want you to feel like there are terms and conditions on our relationship that you didn’t understand.
also it might be helpful to realize that in some ways spencer really is not more experienced with romantic relationships than she is. he had a situationship with elle that never went anywhere and a bunch of hookups (and maybe maeve but even if that happened it was like a fake relationship lmao they were e dating and I don’t believe he really loved her but that’s a post for another day). but he doesn’t know how to exist in a healthy relationship with a partner who really cares for him any more than she does. most of dybmn is from readers perspective and she FEELS that he’s way more experienced but that experience is pretty much limited to sex which is obviously a big hang up for her so not surprising that she focuses on it so much and his experience seems so vast. but yeah romantically he is also a late bloomer and fairly stunted. he’s kinda figuring it all out for the first time just like she is!
so anyway that was me defending reid for four paragraphs!! but also maybe he’s just an asshole idk men suck why am I defending one of them
thank u again for giving me an excuse to talk abt this!!! ily
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Sorta bringing this back from the past, but I just saw the MC scandalous painting ask and was laughing for like 20 mins, I really do hope it makes it in to the story😂😂
Buuut, I wanna ask, how would the RO react to their family members looking at the painting after they (accidentally) left it out
(For the ROs who live alone, maybe their and MC kid?)
Haha, I remember that one. Still one of my favorites!
I am also going to write this under the impression it's at the dating stage of the relationship so that it makes more sense.
Cassandra: Does her absolute best to hide the portrait from her dad, only issue is that her dad, being the military man he is, occasionally does routine inspections around the house to make sure everything is in order and nothing needs to be taken care of before it becomes a problem. This has her moving the portrait periodically throughout the house to avoid him coming across it during his inspections. She considered putting it in a lock box but he would probably ask her whats inside and she is a TERRIBLE liar.
So, when the day unfortunately comes and General Guerrero finds a wrapped up portrait of MC's half naked ass in a broom closet; he is so unamused it's not even remotely funny. Well, for Cass at least.
Because while this might come to your surprise Alejandro actually does have a sense of humor. And make no mistake, he finds MC's audacity and utter stupidity of sending this to HIS house, to HIS daughter sort of funny. He comforts Cass by casually asking why does she even find MC attractive when they look so scrawny in the portrait she hid in a closet. Girly is is embarrassed she can't even form a coherent sentence, she just gets super red and covers her face. He can't help but laugh, he finds her embarrassment, punishment enough for her keeping this thing in her house without telling him.
Can't say he or MC will be laughing next time they meet though.
Valeria: Well, we already know Mrs. Torres saw it.
Valeria is so embarrassed, for MC. It's not like she asked you to do something so stupid knowing full well that she is the youngest of 6 with 5 older brothers and that she still lives with them and her parents. Mrs. Torres is just like Valeria in the sense she can't keep shit to herself, although Valeria manages to keep her shut for all of 4 days which is a pretty decent record. Good thing Val already managed to hide it someplace secret only to her by the time her brothers found out about it. They pester her day and night to see it so they can roast MC next time they see them. (as if they weren't already, idk if I said this already but if you romance Val; her big brothers become YOUR big brothers). Her parents don't really care, her dad didn't appreciate it but trusts his sons will harass MC enough about it, just expects MC to not do it again.
Tomás: He legit has nobody that he would really give a fuck about in his family if they saw the portrait. He isn't embarrassed, he's proud. He would be SO happy if his mom saw it, would rub in how scandalous and just how much of a scoundrel he is with MC. Would get a real kick out of how much she would 'clutch her pearls' at him, literally and figuratively. Would get mad if his brothers saw it because he'd get jealous, probably would punch them or something.
Now if you guys had a kid and they saw it in the future, he would get bashful but tell them not to go poking around his things. No, they cannot ask why he had it hidden in a box under his side of the his bed.
-
Ludovica: Also has no family or anybody to discover it. In the future if she had kids and they found it, she would be mortified. Begs them to forgive her for not hiding it well enough and to forget they saw it. She is unamused when she overhears her staff gossiping about the portrait and how one maid long ago had mentioned it existing and how literally nobody had believed her. Chokes on her spit when her kids ask MC point blank why they were barely wearing any clothes in the picture and if they were cold.
Aurelio: ALSO has no family to uncover it, (omg look at all of these pathetic little orphans, having parents must be a rarity in this world ig).
So, when his kids one day are being a little too nosy in his private study and see his half naked portrait of a young MC hanging right beside his desk labeled "Motivation - 1890" they obviously do the logical thing of screaming for their dad to come to his study. When he does wondering if they got hurt or something they ask him right away why tf he has such a picture displayed there and why is it labeled.
He had responds with something like, "Well, can you blame me for wanting to be productive? Knowing that is but a humble glimpse at what will be my reward when I finish my work, does wonders for my morale. And be grateful your mom/dad looked so great back then or you might not even be here." (He is saying that to tease them, MC still looks great in their older age and he would love them even if they weren't attractive.)
Also adds, "Oh, and it's labeled because that's that years edition of 'motivation'. I made sure I got one every start of the year to keep me honest. New year, new happy little wine drinker me! What? Did you want to see the rest? Or maybe the ones I gave mom/dad? Fair warning, I was wearing even LESS than they are in this picture."
His children then proceed to run out of his study screaming and gagging, he laughs knowing that this will keep them out of his study from now on.
Elio: Okay sort of funny because I actually said in one specific post somewhere Elio actually personally knows Aurelio and I actually think the only person close enough to discover it would be Aurelio. Elio would surprising be shocked if Aurelio found it because he made sure it was well hidden in the attic to avoid MC ever finding out he did actually have it.
He drinks tea and admires it from time to time when MC is away for too long. If Aurelio ever found it Elio would actually be frantic shooing him out of the house and swearing that he will never let him anywhere near MC ever again. Because he knows Aurelio is a charmer and he deep down would feel a little insecure if after he has fallen in love, MC got close to Aurelio and fears he would take them away from him. Even though Aurelio would never do that to him, he can't shake the insecurity and does everything he can to hide it.
Aurelio would want to tease Elio about it but knows it would be a very touchy subject so he shuts up, instead he tease MC next time they have a moment without Elio there. Which might be in a few months when Elio calms a bit and lets his guard down thinking Aurelio might have forgotten or dropped it completely.
---
Thanks for letting me revisit and continue this funny scenario! 💙
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justallihere · 3 days
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xaden wanting to spoil the book to violet reminded me of my parents my dad literally GOOGLES the tv shows my mum is watching and sometimes spoils them when he wants to be annoying lmao
i loved this chapter for its simplicity and their dynamic was just chef kiss. they’re so much more open about the flirting (is it even called flirting at this point of xaden is straight up begging for it) and they’re eyeing each other so much more openly now i love them.
also violet being like “i can take care of myself” is sooo on character !!! loved that detail also the way she acknowledged she’s much better than she was weeks ago like yes baby girl you’re so strong !! see your growth
and tairn being a grumpy grandpa gotta love him
i feel like messaging is their thing at this point xaden just LOVES to put his hands on violet
the way she was so offended when she realized xaden had stolen her rings she’s like “sir those are MINE give them back NOW” and i love the juxtaposition that a few months ago she didn’t even want to look at them call that falling in love !!! and the way she knows xaden deserves to hear she loves him but won’t compromise her mental health for it i think it’s a real important thing and so she shows him instead of telling him which i honestly think it’s also one of his love languages so i don’t think he’s too bothered by it (yet) i just love how she gives herself the time to take things at her own time (did this paragraph even make sense ?? who’s to say)
i just love everything about this
Annoying Violet into giving him attention is Xaden’s love language
Def still flirting, it’s just the most obnoxious, married-couple, so in love it’s disgusting, form of flirting ever. They’re insufferable
Violet has grown into her own so much and I’m so proud of her and who she’s becoming. She knows her own worth and she’s aware of her own strength, even when she lets herself lean on Xaden for support
I think one of the most important things about Xaden is that he has always understood Violet, even when she wasn’t using her words. This is no different. And it does him a disservice too if she says it before she’s ready because I think it means less that way
Thank you!!! 🩷🩷
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I request infection au stuff
People turn into literal analog horror creatures within a week. There is no known cure yet.
It affects all humans and monsters, including the skeletons.
Nowhere is safe. These things are everywhere. They are not sane and will actively hunt others.
Killing them is the only way to stop them. This is hard to do, as they regenerate unless their souls themselves are destroyed.
They can't go back home, there are too many infected there due to the boss monsters being the first ones that were infected.
The few of their friends they have found were already infected. All others are missing.
Their brother has gone missing. They have found confirmation that he is alive. They do not know if their brother has been infected yet.
Undertale Sans - He's not sure how he's still going. Maybe the hope to see his brother again. He built himself a little shelf in the mountains and he tries to use his sci-fi knowledge to survive, one day after the other. He knows he's hard to reach, so he's not too worried about the infected one, but at the same time, he's scared no one will find him and he will stay all alone his whole life. For now, he tries to stay positive, even though it's not easy.
Undertale Papyrus - He's on the road with Undyne and Alphys. They're good at protecting each other. Well, they were good until Alphys got infected, and it's clear she's doing worse and worse, but that's fine, they still have some time. Undyne is not ready to let go yet and Papyrus respects that as long as Undyne respects him not sleeping at night because he's scared Alphys might attack and infect Undyne and he just can't lose her. He doesn't know if he's selfish, but he's not sure what he would do all alone. At this point, he's pretty sure his brother didn't survive, so Undyne is the last one he can rely on to keep some hope. He's optimistic things will be better eventually. Or maybe he's lying to himself. Either way, he's not giving up now.
Underswap Sans - He used his leadership skills to build a small community of monsters and humans he's protecting. He's good at that, thanks to his experience as a police officer. He terribly misses his family and friends. Even though he made new friends along the way, it will never be the same. He tries not to think about his brother, it hurts too much. In an ideal world, he would be alive, but he knows Honey is not exactly a survivor. Just imagining him like those creatures is making him sick. He focuses on protecting his people, hoping they can maybe rebuild some kind of civilization eventually.
Underswap Papyrus - He never thought watching so many zombie films would save his life someday. Sure, he lost his brother, and everyone really, but he still has Asgore. They're living together in his house, which they upgraded as time passed to avoid horrible creatures to intrude. And so far it's working! They even grow some vegetables. He could never be thankful enough to find himself locked with someone who knows how to grow vegetables from literally scratch. They're keeping company with each other and trying to stay optimistic, even though some days are more difficult than others.
Underfell Sans - He's back to his old habits, trying to survive the best he can. He's glad he grew up weak in a shitty Underground. It's almost the same. Well, except he has to take care of Frisk and he never realized how hard it is to be a dad. The kid is scaring the hell out of him, randomly disappearing from time to time and he swears he can't continue like this. But at least he's not alone. He would do terribly on his own. Keeping Frisk alive is kinda the only thing that keeps him going. He promised Toriel he would watch over them, he's not giving her up. Plus it's fun to teach them new things!
Underfell Papyrus - He's living with Undyne in a small house they upgraded to resist the apocalypse. And Doomfanger. Living with Undyne is hard, not because of the apocalypse, but because they can't agree on anything and constantly bicker. They keep saying they will kill the other eventually, but the truth is that both of them are ready to die if it means the other will survive. They're not too worried though. Both of them are good fighters, and they want to survive until things get better. They know they can do it!
Horrortale Sans - He adopted a wolf-like style, living in the forest and hunting what he could find, animals or humans. He's fine on his own, back to a feral state, and it's best to not crossways with him. He's very dangerous. He stopped counting the scars, he's just survival instincts now. He'll be fine. He keeps searching for his brother.
Horrortale Papyrus - He's with Toriel and Grillby, on his farm. He refused to leave. The three of them already survived together, it's simply like the Underground, except there are more chances to find food. Since his farm is already producing vegetables and fruits, they're fine, and almost living normally, except they had to build barriers all around the farm to protect themselves. Willow still hopes Oak will come home someday, but he knows he's alive. The rare survivors that come and go all warned him about a weird monster roaming in the woods, hunting them. He knows it's Oak. He's not too worried. It's not the first time Oak ends in this state, but at least in this feral state, he's almost unbeatable. He's confident they will see each other again.
Swapfell Sans - He's terribly upset. Because the Queen forced him to follow her and separated him from his brother when it was the last thing he wanted to do. Then the Queen got infected and killed all of his soldiers, leaving him the only survivor and the one who has to deal with the consequences. Even if he's finally free, Nox can't celebrate. He's terrified his brother thought he gave up on him AGAIN and that he simply gave up somewhere, or got killed, or infected or... Nox is on his own on the road, desperately tracking his brother. He knows he's alive, or was alive a week ago. He just needs to find him. He refuses to give up.
Swapfell Papyrus - He's not doing well. He's not a survivor, he never was, and each day is a new hell. He's on the road, trying to flee the horrible creatures that are following him, and he can't rest anymore. He doesn't know where is his brother. He waited for him for as long as he could and just accepted he was probably dead, until a human told him they met a skeleton a few days ago. Rus still hopes his brother will find him before he gets infected. He's not sure how long he can still hold on. He's tired.
Fellswap Gold Sans - He has no limits since he lost his brother. He feels guilty he wasn't there when their camp got attacked and now his brother is probably dead. He's on a killing rampage. If someone ends on his way, they die. He doesn't trust anyone anymore and he's going to make the whole world pay for the loss of his brother. That is until he spotted some hints that Coffee might actually be alive, and focused only on this. He will find his brother.
Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He had to flee when some creatures ambushed him while he was waiting for his brother, and since then, his existence has been a nightmare. Coffee is starving, dehydrated and he didn't sleep for days. Maybe it's luck or destiny, but some random children saved him from agony. He's following them around now, hoping they can make it until Wine finds them. He knows Wine is coming. Wine can't die, he's the strongest monster he knows. He just has to be patient.
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ecordix · 9 months
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/bsd chap 110 spoilers !
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KMS
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hecksupremechips · 1 month
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Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing
And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had
Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter
And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"
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fluffypotatey · 9 months
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*smashes in like the Kool-Aid man*
PENDRAGON SIBLINGS YOU SAY????
I have. So many Feels. About Themst™
The complexity?? The layers?? The angst?? Hello??????
Their relationship is just So Much, because you are right, it's all tangled up in miscommunication and missed opportunities, and so many problems that can be sourced back to Uther "War Crimes" Pendragon, who wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it bit him on the ass.
If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.
Because it's the lonely childhoods, the shared grief, the friendship, the vulnerability, the fondness, the teasing, the envy, the jealousy, the almost romance, the protectiveness, the betrayal, the loss, the hurt, the refusal to let go and the desperate hanging on, and the love, the love, the love.
Indifference is the true opposite of love.
Hate is love that's gone rotten.
“If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.” oh fuck….
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK
WAIT HOLD ON WAIT LEMME PIGGYBACK ON THAT BESTIE @0hheytherebigbadwolf (tagging you bc it will be a couple days after you sent this ask)
(Also, for anyone wanting background context on what me and bestie are bouncing off on: voilà)
OK OK SO
we are all familiar with King Uther being the greatest (worst) dad of all time, correct? places such high expectations on his “only son and heir” whilst never officially acknowledging Morgana as his daughter until the very end?
F+ father of the year :)
he is not above sending his children into the dungeon if they disobey him as seen here:
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(Jfc he even put Morgana in chains like wtf)
also, he is not above using emotional guilt towards them when he deems it necessary (aka one of the only times he actually acknowledges them as his children)
UTHER (1x02 Valiant) I trust you will make me proud.
UTHER (1x08 The Beginning of the End) I’ve treated you like a daughter. Is this how you repay me?
UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) You are the daughter I never had.
UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) You would believe a sorcerer’s lies over the word of your father?
not to mention that when Arthur or Morgana try to reason with him or argue with him since they are the only ones with the status to do so, he pulls rank
UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) May I remind you that you are speaking to your King [...] Take care, child, or I’ll have you restrained.
UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am your king and your father. You will show me some respect!
UTHER (2x06 Beauty and the Beast) We live in dangerous times, I cannot allow you to undermine my authority.
UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final.
ngl i could include more but i have already spent hours searching for shit (YOUTUBE WILL DIE BY MY HAND THAT STINGY BITC—) but y’all get what i mean: Uther is an abusive fucker and it has messed up the conditions of Arthur and Morgana
now, about the double edged blade…..
as previously established, Uther is a fucking dick and wants his children to obey him but also adore him. with this behavior, the Pendragon siblings react in two ways: with anger & contempt or submission and remorse
way #1
i’m gonna start with Morgana because anger is the easiest to pick out throughout the show. in the first episode of the first season, our introduction to Morgana’s character is her lecturing Uther about executing the man Merlin witnessed upon entering Camelot (such a warm welcome for Emrys, mh?)
MORGANA I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for a celebration. That poor mother. UTHER It was simple justice for what he'd done. MORGANA To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone. UTHER You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like. MORGANA How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?
early on, it is easy to pick up on Morgana’s resentment and anger at Uther, who she believes is blinded by his fear of magic and his need for control (which she isn’t wrong about). also, we find that she isn’t one to back off when poking the bear (Uther). she does it constantly in seasons 1 & 2
MORGANA (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) Why would she kneel on a cold stone floor morning after morning when she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers? Like an idle king!
MORGANA (1x08 The Beginning of the End) How can this child be your enemy? He's just a boy. UTHER He is a Druid. MORGANA Is that such a crime?…What have these people done to you? Why are you so full of hate?
UTHER (2x04 Lancelot and Guinevere) How many men would you have me sacrifice to save a servant? MORGANA  As many as it takes!
to be honest, i wouldn’t be surprised if screaming, arguing and berating Uther about his morals and ethics is her way of proving that she is not weak or submissive to his actions. i mean, Morgana grew up in a household the complete opposite from her time in Camelot. Gorlois, the man whom Morgana considers to be her father and one and only family member, was said to be “just” and “kind” and someone that Uther even considered a good friend who openly kept him in check. Morgana, until the age of ten, understood parental love and empathy unlike Arthur, who spent his whole life without any good or healthy substance of it.
the culture of Camelot and Uther’s wrath is not something Morgana was ever able to fully acclimate to as Uther himself pointed out in 1x12. She “was at odds with [him] since the beginning” and could never picture herself as a Pendragon (point further proven in 4x05: she looked revolted when Queen Annis compared her to Uther) because she didn’t share in their idea of magic = evil and a king = absolute control.
ironic in terms of future plot events, isn’t it :’)
way #2
compare that to Arthur: man’s respressed af. keeps all his emotions under lock and key if they are anything but haughty and serious. y’all, Arthur even says it himself how he “[can't] disagree with Father [Uther] in public.” whenever Arthur finds himself at odds with Uther, he holds his tongue and waits until he can disobey secretly (2x05 when he leaves to rescue Gwen, 1x08 when he helps Morgana sneak out Mordred in the dark of the night, 2x08 when he sneaks out to meet Morgause for more info about his mom, etc). it is only the rare moments when Arthur feels impassioned enough to speak up without fearing any retribution does Arthur talk back at him (so satisfying 👌)
ARTHUR (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) [Morgana’s] right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen.
ARTHUR (2x08 Sins of the Father) This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them….You hunted her kind like animals! How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?!….You speak of honour and nobility! You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!
ARTHUR (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You can't forbid my feelings any more than I can. I won't deny them any longer, I love her. I love Guinevere.
we can even compare how the two react to Uther’s violence towards them
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(ahahahahahaaaaa what a wonderful dad)
on the left, you see Arthur’s face right when Uther crushes the morteus flower needed to heal Merlin (his manservant/friend/????) and on the right, is Morgana after Uther discovers she was harboring a Druid child in her chambers and she refuses to listen to his reason.
notice how both faces are remarkably similar 👀
however, Arthur’s look of shock and dismay come from his hope that Uther would do the right thing. that he would help save Merlin’s life from dying of poison. that he wouldn’t use this as a method to teach Arthur “what it means to disobey and cross the king.” he truly did hope, just like he always does with the people he holds close. Arthur cannot help but hope and trust that those close to him will not betray him and yet so many do. hence the remorse
looking at Morgana, her shock comes from the fact that this might be the first time Uther reacted to her words and actions in a physical manner. my suspicion is that most of the time, all Morgana previously got was Uther reprimanding her and yelling at her to stop questioning his methods (bc, let’s be real, she was the favorite child.) never has he lifted a finder on her like Arthur and i have proof (cue transcript!)
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AND! and, Arthur is constantly warning Morgana about not angering Uther any further because of the consequences she might face (consequences this boy is very familiar with) when Uther deems it necessary to “teach” his children obedience.
UTHER (1x04 The Poisoned Chalice) You have to learn there's a right and a wrong way of doing things. I'll see you're let out in a week. Then you can find yourself another servant.
UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final [...] This is for your own good. - UTHER She will die. The enchantment will be broken. You'll see I was right.
UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am protecting you from your own foolishness!
so educational 🥰 but see, because Uther presents his punishments as lessons, Arthur himself views them as just a fucked up but meaningful way of his father’s concern because “yeah, I am the first born son and only heir to the throne. of course I need to learn not to do silly things like disobey, talk back to him, be my own person.” <- I’m paraphrasing here
Arthur does and has never seen a way out of the life thrust upon him by Uther (see 3x06). succeeding Uther as king, marrying a noblewoman of high standing for heirs and alliance strength was always expected of him. Arthur never saw a way out of this. even when he and Gwen were in their secret relationship phase, Arthur had to remind himself that this would never last. he loved her and knew she loved him, but there was always that reminder (that sounded a lot like Uther) in the back of his head telling him that it would never last so long as he was prince. he had a duty (constructed by Uther) to serve Camelot and going against his father would mean (in his eyes) that he is going against Camelot (as Uther always presented it to be).
so unlike Morgana, he did not kick and scream but stood firm because that was what he believed was stronger. if he stayed in his lane and did his part, then he would be a good king, maybe even a better one than his father, for Camelot. however, the show proves that differentiating himself from Uther actually made him the better king and more respected, but this is not the meta for that. I am getting side tracked.
OK: so we’ve established parental issues between the two siblings. now onto their very complex, complicated yet beloved dynamic
sO, as i mentioned in this post (because i am lazy and too tired to copy/paste the evidence from there), these siblings do care for one another. they just go about it in the most hilarious and repressed and in-denial way (hilarious to me 😤)
when we meet them, it’s established that these two have known each other for some time. enough for them to bicker and have banter, you know, as you do with a Pendragon. also, should add, neither character are ever aware they are blood-related until s3 (because of some weak-ass bitch named Uther), so you have that very, uh, interesting subplot in s1 that everybody forgets about until you rewatch it. (honestly, I have so many questions. number 1: why???? number 2: it’s only in s1—was it scrapped??? is it like it never existed???? what was its purpose to the plot??? bbc explain yourself—)
however, despite how much it is shown that they do care for one another, they’re relationship in s1 is still undefined and vague as if they also don’t know how to accurately define what the other means to them. it’s very similar to the whole “i really love this person so much but is what i’m feeling platonic, familial, or romantic?” because….you know, guy and girl besties who are close are typically expected to grow romantic feelings for each other, so tbh i would not be surprised if both mistook their love as romantically inclined in the beginning bc, reminder, neither of them were aware they were siblings until much later.
[and this is ALL i am saying on this subplot. i do not want to cause any negative discourse, so if anyone has a few choice words about it, either keep it to yourself or feel free to talk about it with people you know. personally? not a fan of the ship and never will be, but i am not here to post about that.]
anyway, have some featured receipts showing Arthur and Morgana slipping up and showing how much they care for each other.
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SEE!!!! LOOK AT HOW THE CARE!!!! SEE HOW THEY WORRY FOR THE OTHER AND WISH TO PROTECT THEM FROM HARM!!! (and see how even when they’re on opposite sides there is still that same love. just more warped and corrupted T^T)
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^worried/protective Morgana
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^Arthur’s face after Merlin informs him that there’s an intruder heading to Morgana’s chambers
Morgana is very aware of Arthur’s trusting nature. Arthur is very aware of Morgana’s empathy and righteous nature. they understand each other so well which is why Morgana knew just how to harm Arthur in later seasons and why Morgana’s betrayal hit Arthur so hard. it’s also why he never stopped trying to reach out to her in s4 & s5. as @merlinemrys said in this lovely post, the show’s driving force is love. love of all kinds. whatever conflict it is, love is there at the center of it all and, in Arthur and Morgana’s case, it does not save them (just like how love does not save Merlin or Arthur from what lies ahead, as the op of the post pointed out).
that is what makes their relationship/love be like a double edged sword!! that is why they are edges of the same blade!!! they protect and fight for what they believe in and for the people they love, but the same blades cut deep and twist their wounds into a lasting scar.
it is because of Arthur’s love for Morgana that he cannot help but hope and mourn the woman he once knew. it is because of Morgana’s love for Arthur that her feelings of hatred are so strong and ugly.
like honestly,
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look at them T^T compared to before
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their relationship is so tragic T^T because we knew them before it all went wrong. we knew they cared and understood each other. we knew that for some time, they only had each other to rely on for a friend, a crutch, a breather for when the royal life was too much. both of them were fighters and strive to honor their values. both of them had once leaned on the other for support, had wanted nothing but happiness for each other.
fuck, they didn’t even get the chance to really be siblings because they found out too late, and by then Morgana was on a war path and Arthur only found out at the last minute.
like fuck, man
two sides of the same blade: forged with love, yet used for blood
screencaps brought to you by me, @sourdough-morbread, and farfarawaysite
#i will spare you the gorey details of me trying to fine decent screencaps & screenshots for this fucking post or else i’ll get pissed again#(i am considering whether it is worth it to go to war with youtube)#special thanks to my bestie mor for being there for me at the gorey times and helping me find more screenshots#fucking love you bestie 💕💕💕💕#also only including s1-2 bc i am tired and they are the ones where we get pendragon siblings not trying to kill each other#forgive me for always bringing up uther and the pendragon sibs’ upbringing with him it will happen again#also after hours of rereading transcripts and rewatching clips of bbc merlin: it is so obvious that uther cared and treated Morgana like hi#own child more than Arthur. like jfc he let’s her get away with so much stuff he is way for gentle with his words towards her#when he realizes that he was too cruel or rude like bro…..where tf was that for arthur#it just adds to the complicated sibling dynamic because there is the added jealousy and resentment of knowing a parent loved another more#literally most of Morgana’s time with Uther was her at odds with him and yet he views her as his child more#well no ducking dur that Arthur ‘i-would-do-anything-to-receive-my-father’s-love-attention-and-pride’ Pendragon resents Morgana for#always being the one Uther goes easier on and finds ways to turn a blind eye for like wtf#also during my research i was reminded of how done dirty Gwen’s story was by bbc#loses her father to a king fearful of magic barely gets to mourn him bc she now has to keep up the smithy and her maid job; reunites#with her brother who’s been AWOL for some years and still they don’t get a moment to talk about their dad and mourn TOGETHER#her storyline is pushed aside by s4 bc now she’s fulfilling the role of Arthur’s love interest and oh yeah they still need to incorporate#the lanceot/guinevere scandal and then banish her for some episodes without even letting her brother be mad about it like ?????#anyway#continued saga of fluffy rereading transcripts -> uther: ‘it’s been a long time since Ygraine…since anyone’ me: ducking liar >:(#[sir leon begins the slow clap] king you dropped this 👑IT IS 1AM HELP 😂#place your bets on where my laziness for evidence came in! (I honestly don’t know lol scavenging evidence is all a blur)#spent 2 days on this post lol#me: ok i think that’s enough evidence for this argument…………ok maybe ONE more won’t hur—#me after day 2: ….am i done???? am i free????#pendragon siblings coming behind me with a steel chair: nah mate!#me: FUCK THERE’S MORE#bbc merlin#merlin meta#pendragon sibs
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siriuslynephilim · 1 year
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spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me
#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason#the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2#i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head#and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet#and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay#he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all#i have no idea what he has that i don't#but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about#not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me#not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act#im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough#for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away#from my sociopathic parents#and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough#but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d#exams#and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then#never cry#i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really#trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing#oh god this is now a ventpost#mes
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woahkana · 2 years
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nebulouscoffee · 6 months
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Me, attending the latest in a ridiculous number of funerals this year in the place of a childhood friend who couldn't be there, watching the lifeless body of an old lady who used to make me snacks in the kitchen when I was a kid be carted away forever while my friend's mother cries and tells me she's grateful I could be there because it felt like having the support of her own daughter, hugging her and talking reassuringly and not processing a single one of these emotions: ... I am going to write soooo much fanfiction about this
#''this'' being collective grief. because tbvh it's the main reason I haven't written very much this year (but will slowly start to)#I write to remind myself I am lucky. I keep telling myself this but even now when I feel awful I am so lucky#I am lucky that none of these funerals have involved very close family members or friends of mine#and I am lucky to be living in conditions with the space to write and space to grieve#and space to come together to mourn with dignity while people not that far away from me are not receiving the same privilege rn#I am lucky my dad was with me today and I spent the evening chatting with him on the terrace I am lucky he is alive I am lucky I am lucky#(apologies if this sounds like a robot malfunctioning lmao writing is just how I process things)#(and apparently I just don't seem to feel like I have the right to feel bad about any of this anywhere except my st@r trek blog hehe)#anyway. To stay on theme I shall say something about Trills :D#I imagine loss and grief must register very differently to them. very Non Linearly in the literal sense but also a highly abstract one#even I feel this massive sense of time warp between all these funerals; and this chest-crushing distance between me and my friends#how do Trills even exist#how do they wake up every day remembering all those friends and children and parents who loved them and they loved and are gone now#and still function#how does Ezri feel walking around with memories of parents that aren't hers (but were soooo much better than hers) taking care of her#does she feel comforted by them? does it feel like the people in those memories were always comforting HER specifically?#does it even matter who it belonged to originally if a memory is HERS now?#does Ezri mourn for any parents of past hosts more than she knows she will mourn for her own mother one day?#does having all this lived experience bring her reassuring amounts of perspective for a 20-something or just overwhelm her all the more?#idk; but I hope she learns to take comfort in her past hosts' memories of family eventually...#(...again. I am going to write sooooo much fan fiction about this lmao)#cw death
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voulezloux · 6 days
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#idk how to tag this but it’s about my dad who i just went NC with bc he’s abusive and hasn’t changed#so if you don’t want to read keep scrolling i don’t care i just need to fucking do something#i’ve passed rage and now i’m just sad#and i feel bad about being sad bc i don’t want to be sad bc being sad SUCKS#i feel like i’m burdening my friends by telling them the shit my dad did to me#ik realistically im probably not but i just#only three people would truly understand the situation#my mom my sister and my childhood best friend#my sister is off limits bc i’m not putting her in the middle of this again#my mom was also abused by my dad and i don’t want to trigger her or make her feel bad so i don’t feel like#i can always go to her about this shit#and i don’t want to take advantage of my best friend’s listening ear even though she is being supportive of me and everything#like i just feel guilty and i feel like im burdening others with my burden#i want it to all stop i just want to stop being sad#i want to stop feeling like im 7 year old me hiding in the pantry from my dad#i don’t want to go to work i don’t want to do anything really#and it’s not like i want to die i just want to stop feeling like this#i want to stop feeling like i somehow fucked everything up when it was my dad’s fault#ik i should book another therapy appointment but i can’t with the way my week is next week#and idk i’m just#im not having a good time#i’ve taken an ativan every night this week bc of all this#previous to this idk when the last time i took an ativan even was#and i’m not trying to read into it too much but its hard not to when ive gone literal months without taking it#and now i’m taking it every night so i don’t stay up half the night bc my brain won’t shut up
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theclosetedskeleton · 8 months
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me staring at my DAD when he said "if i see you have any f's during these 10 days.. things are gonna be bad. and by that i mean youre gonna get your tv taken. And youre gonna get no privacy. Meaning im going to take your door away" when i just wanted to go downstairs and get a fucking granola bar and NOT remember that if i fuck up once at school my privacy vanishes
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