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sirgogington · 2 months

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My Word Vomit Response on the Shelby Situation

Main Situation: Last week Wilbur Soot from Lovejoy was accused of having been abusive towards his ex girlfriend Shelby. Shelby is a live streamer and last week she did a livestream about the signs of knowing if you are in an abusive relationship. She never stated his name, but from details given people started assuming it was about Wilbur Soot. A few days later Wilbur confirmed that it was him in an apology tweet on his Twitter account. The abuse had to do with painful biting, and manipulation.

I want to start off by saying I do believe Shelby's story. I don't think Wilbur is innocent, but I do believe this situation isn't as black and white as people are claiming it to be.

Former fans after hearing the story started unfollowing Wilbur and Lovejoy and saying what a terrible man that Wilbur is, and vowing to never listen to or view any of his content ever again. He's not just a terrible man, he has to be evil too. I may be optimistic but I do think most people can change for the better if they truly want to. There are exceptions, but I truly believe that Wilbur can. The internet wants to just label him as evil and not give him any room to do that. The new thing is "guilty until proven innocent" and that's super harmful as I will go into in a different post. The way people are spreading hate in a us/them mentality is not a mature way of viewing/handling this situation and does more harm than good. Especially when it comes to death threats and doxing which have been received by both sides.

Wilbur is someone who had a hard upbringing, and has brought up at different times his struggles with mental health. On screen or on stage you would never know this about him, because he has this mask of being confident, well spoken, and joyful. Through these details Wilbur has shared we know that touring took a lot out of him mentally and put him in a bad place, but that he was seeking therapy and is probably currently still seeing a therapist to try and get better. He's shared in the past that when he first blew up on the internet he used alcohol to cope because of how overwhelming it was that so many people were consuming his content. From Shelby's stream we also learned that his living space was dirty and unhygienic and that he would make excuses for it. The details for me paint the picture of a guy struggling badly with mental illness and having a hard time caring for himself and his home. Someone who can hardly take care of themselves should not have been in a relationship. This puts a lot on the other person. It's different if he were stable and then then his mental health crashed in the middle of a longer relationship, but not if your too mentally ill to begin with. I do deeply feel sorry that Shelby had to experience that, as it truly shouldn't have happened.

I went to school for psychology and know quite a bit about different types of mental illnesses. I am by no means diagnosing Wilbur, but I do think he shows signs of someone with Boderline Personality Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder is an emotional disregulation disorder characterized by unstable mood, behavior, and relationships. People with BPD self sabotage and will frequently end up pushing people away because they don't think they're good enough for them. (In this case maybe he wanted to act so bad so she would leave him, which is very unhealthy). People with BPD also go through depressive episodes and can act impulsively. Without therapy it is extremely hard to cope with this condition but with therapy you can make great strides in changing. I think like most mental illnesses you are aware of the fact you don't like the way you're acting you just have a hard time controlling it. For instance for me growing up with anxiety I knew most of my fears were completely irrational but that didn't stop them from overtaking my life and still feeling anxious. Wilbur has written some really deep lyrics on his new solo album Mammalian Sighing Reflex and I feel like it reflects that he doesn't like the way he is and feels guilty about those he's harmed through it. Maybe I'm giving this man too much credit, but like I said I do believe most people are capable of changing for the better.

Shelby stated she did the livestream as a way to help protect other victims of domestic violence and Wilbur Soot himself. He might still be dangerous to the public, it's really hard to know. I know after my own situation with being manipulated I was worried about the guy going after other younger women like he had with me. I didn't want anyone else have to be in that situation so I understand where Shelby is coming from. I also know that if the guy in my life had ever posted an apology, no matter how good it was, that I still wouldn't believe him and have a hard time forgiving him. Bold take but I think his apology was at least decent. Could it have been better, yeah, but could it have been a lot worse, also yes. In his apology he admits to being the person Shelby was talking about. He states that her feelings are valid, and that he wants people to hold him to higher accountability, and that he was sorry for any hurt he caused. Maybe he isnt, but it's hard to know. Wilbur stated in a livestream from last October 2023 that he was going to therapy the next day, because of this we can assume that Wilbur has been going to therapy at minimum since October. In that same livestream he states that he showers once a day when he's in his "big sad", and that he has rented places all over Brighton. He is at least hygienic in this regard, maybe moreso than he was before. It could be a red flag that Wilbur has lived all over Brighton due to possible evictions whether that be negligence or noise complaints from doing livestreams.

We'll never know how other content creators truly feel about him except for the ones that made it obvious. Of course most content creators are going to jump on the bandwagon and agree that he's an evil man. If they don't then they'll lose their platform because of all the hate they'd get. I do believe some content creators will still hang out with Wilbur secretly or still even remain his friend. But we'll never know.

For the people who are posting different video evidences of Wilbur supposedly showing signs of being abusive in the past this is what is called confirmation bias. If you believe someone is abusive suddenly you can find details in the littlest things to confirm your thought process. A lot of the clips I've been seeing have been of normal everyday behavior or confirmed bits. I've seen people say that Wilbur must have bit down really hard to leave bruises. In some cases people bruise more easily than others. I know I have random bruises on my body from nothing. We can tell that what Wilbur did however was pretty painful due to have to use a safe word. Getting bitten usually hurts. I've been bitten by a 5 year old at work and can't imagine how it would feel to be bitten by a grown man who intentionally bit down hard.

This could be confirmation bias as well, but when looking at the lyrics in Mammalian Sighing Reflex and at the album art it seems to tell the story of a man (Wilbur) who really messed up in a relationship and is feeling the pain from that, and has a lot of regret due to knowing he was the cause of her pain. He poured so much of himself into the album it's like he's bleeding out in front of the audience with the amount of vulnerability.

Analyzing lyrics because why not, using lyrics from "Mammalian Sighing Reflex"

"I get so drunk I can barely see." If this album is related to his relationship with Shelby, which I think it probably is, then maybe he tried to cope with the relationship failing by using alcohol, or sabotaged the relationship through drinking.

"A lot of friends have left my life, escaping my tractor beam of woe" Having a mental illness can make it hard to maintain friendships. This could be because it makes you so self-focused on your problems, or that people get tired of hearing about your problems. If you constantly talk about how sad you are, some people are going to have a hard time dealing with that, or get burnt out from having to keep on cheering you up.

"Fuck my life, you cared when I was sick, no one ever gave a shit.....you fought this war one-sided and asked me what am I doing this for." These lyrics seem to speak about how in a past relationship (probably meaning with Shelby), that she cared that he was mentally ill/in a low point and wanted to help him get better. The fight to help him get better was one-sided due to Wilbur not helping to get himself better. If he would have helped her then they "could of stitched my mind together."

"Never been the one for romance, never thought that I'd get married. Never been the kind to give a shared life a second glance, selfish prose." In Shelby's livestream she talked about how her and Wilbur talked about the possibility of getting married and having kids until he backtracked and said that he wasn't that way and changed his mind.

The song "I Don't Think It Will Ever End" is how his mind seems to work in cycles. He'll be sad, because he feels sad he hides away for a bit, but then he feels silly for hiding himself so he forces himself to interact with people. But then when forcing himself to interact again he feels sad, which he says is not a good feeling when you're supposedly in a good phase. He says as self-sabotage he gets silly. Wilbur is known for telling a lot of jokes, and maybe this is a way he masks his true feelings. Also for Mammalian Sighing Reflex it says the songs were written by William Gold (his legal name) and performed by Wilbur Soot (his stage name). Wilbur is who the internet/fans see him as and William Gold is who he really is. Meaning the way we see him online is the extroverted, charismatic, likeable guy we know him as whereas William Gold is introverted, self-sabotaging, nerdy, and a deep thinker.

The internet gives us way too much information. We're constantly bombarded with more and more information. Before the internet and even in the earlier internet days you did not have this. People were not being as closely viewed and known as they are now. You have to be careful about every little thing you say, because God forbid you say the wrong thing and get canceled. It didn't used to be this way. The only reason you'd ever know anything bad about a celebrity is if they were in the news. I think most of the media we consume whether TV shows, movies, etc. have the potential to have us supporting "bad people". It would be overwhelming to look up every single person we had ever consumed media from and sift through what are lies and what are not about each actor, singer, etc. I get that people don't want to give a platform to people doing bad things, but it's almost impossible to know and to remove every single bad person from the content you consume. Being a celebrity in general is hard. It's easy to become addicted to drugs, and experience toxicity especially celebrities that live in Los Angeles. Most become people they regret, but some change for the better too. I'm not saying people who do serious crimes should get out of jail because they can become better people. People in jail should remain in jail for serious crimes. Time will tell what becomes of him. If more about him is released or if he's able to actually make strides in his health like he said he would. We will wait and see. I really hope he can heal and get better. Even the most unlikely ones can change their lives. You can both support Shubble and hope that Wilbur gets better.

#wilbur soot #lovejoy

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munstysmind · 1 month

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BIRTHDAY CAKE - CHRIS EVANS

WARNING/S: Implied smut, Chris being adorable… that needs a warning, right??

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BE USED IN ANY CAPACITY

Divider by @firefly-graphics

MAIN MASTERLIST

please let me know if you would like to be added to a tag list

A loud crash comes from the kitchen, ripping you from your sleep. As soon as your brain registers its sudden return to consciousness, you groan loudly in protest and rub your eyes before reaching over to get phone from the bedside table and check the time.

It's just after ten.

You let out another groan as you stretch your entire body out before relaxing back into your boyfriend's king-sized bed.

You came back to Boston with him at the start of quarantine. Both of you were out of work with the film, and basically every other nonessential, industry being shut down so there was no real reason you had to stay in LA.

That was three months ago now and honestly, you both love living together. So much so that last week he asked you if you wanted to make it permanent. Of course, you'd said yes. The two of you had just slotted into each other's routines and quirks so seamlessly it was like you'd been living together for years. Your two-year relationship has never been stronger.

You're pulled out of your thoughts by another loud crash.

"Damn it" you hear him say, sounding extremely frustrated.

"What the hell is he doing?" you say to yourself as you get up and throw on his shirt from yesterday before heading out to see what all the commotion was about.

Pressing your lips together, you hold back a laugh as you lean against the door frame and take in the sight in front of you.

The kitchen is a complete disaster. Flour is everywhere. The floor, the counter... Chris.

Lord knows what he's trying to do.

"What happened in here?" you ask, causing him to jump and quickly try to hide what he's doing behind his back.

"I thought you were asleep" he says, brushing away the flour from the front of his shirt.

"I was"

"Fuck... I woke you up, didn't I?"

"Yeah"

"I'm sorry"

"It's OK. What are you doing?"

"Nothing"

"Then why are you trying to hide baking supplies behind you?"

"Well... it's your birthday"

"Go on"

"I'm trying to bake you a birthday cake"

"Chris...

"I don't remember it being this hard when I helped Ma as a kid"

"That's because Mama Evans is an amazing baker and did all the work while simultaneously making you think you were helping"

You make your way over to him and brush the flour he's somehow managed to get in his hair before sitting on the bench opposite him.

"You, my love, are a man of many talents but cooking and baking isn't really one of them" you tell him as you rest your arms on his shoulders and play with the hair at the back of his neck.

"I make a mean pesto egg, everyone loves them" he says, wearing the cute pout you love.

"They are an exception"

"I should have just got a box mix, I know I can't fuck that up"

"You went to all this effort just for me, you have no idea how much that means"

"We're stuck in lockdown and your family's on the other side of the country. I just... I wanted to make your day special"

"You make all my days special" you tell him quietly as a smile spreads across your face. You've never met anyone as loving as him. You don't know what you did to deserve him in your life, but you thank whatever greater power is responsible every single day that he is.

"I wanted today to be extra special. It's not every day that you turn thirty" he says with a shit eating grin that makes you roll your eyes.

"Urghhh, don't remind me"

"Hey, how to you think I feel, I'm the big four zero next year"

"I thought we were talking about me"

"We are, I was just saying"

"I can help, with the cake"

"Nope, it's your day".

"Is that so?"

"Yes"

"So does that mean I get to do whatever I want?"

"Yep"

"Then, I'm going to remove my boyfriend's shirt in the middle of the kitchen so he doesn't make a mess on the way to the bedroom".

"And why am I going to the bedroom exactly?"

"Because it's my birthday and I want my man to eat me out then rail me into the bed until I can't remember my own name"

"Well, in that case" he says with a smirk as he lifts his arms up like a child, making you laugh before grabbing the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head.

You lean forward and kiss his chest as he takes his shirt from you and blindly throws it over his shoulder into the pile of flour on the counter.

He takes your face and kisses you, hard, before sliding his hands down your back to your hips and pulling you close, your chests flush with each other.

You let out a quiet moan as he starts pressing open mouthed kisses up your neck, wrapping your legs around his waist when he sinks his teeth into your skin before tracing it with his tongue to soothe the sting.

He knows exactly what to do to make you come undone in 0.5 seconds.

"Fuck, Chris" you gasp, threading you fingers into his hair as he sucks a bruise onto your flesh. You pull his hair, bringing his face back to yours and kissing him.

He pulls away with a grin, making you whimper and follow him, trying to lock lips again.

With a chuckle he puts his hands under your thighs and lifts you off the bench, throwing yo over his shoulder.

"Chris!" you squeal as he starts heading towards the bedroom, Dodger following right behind him.

"No Bub. Trust me, you don't want to see what I'm about to do" he tells your fur baby, slapping you ass as if to prove a point, making you squeal again.

It's about to be the best birthday ever...

GENERAL TAGLIST: @aussieez @rookiemartin @babeyyemor @secretaryunpaid @pixie88 @chickensarentcheap @dhoruwolfie @themaradwrites @cali-nyc5 @darsynia @diamondoftheball @wewannasaygoodnight @sweetbunnyliddle @kingliam2019 @angelcavill66 @mis-lil-red @rcarbo1 @secretdream2 @identity2212 @fanfics-r-us-official @km-ffluv @dream-beyond-the-fantasy @ktficworld @juliaorplI78 @henry-cavs-tudor @red-write-hand @queenzee27 @kandis-mom

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans fluff #chris evans smut

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harmonytre · 4 months

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Fanart Requests

(Feel free to reblog and spread the words, but check the main post to make sure fandoms and permissions are the same.)

Rules:

Send the request in the askbox.

SFW only. At most I'll go PG-13 with romance and a little blood. Glitching/eyestrain I'm okay with too :3 (Some fandoms may have a more exceptions.)

Most important, remember I am human and these are optional fun things I do on the side. I try to do as many as I can, but I draw them in between other projects and by random. So do not spam, force, or harass me to do your request faster or change the finished one (unless it's a character detail I missed). Some may never get drawn and I need to understand that too. However, if I deny a request, I'll let you know instead of leaving it in my inbox forever.

If you can't come up with a prompt (optional btw, you can request a character only if you'd like) or want to mix it up, you can ask me to randomize a: pallet, song, emoji, expression, action, or word.

Please clarify which fandom you're asking for, as they may have characters with the same name.

Ships allowed (LGBTQ+ included), but understand I won't draw kid/adult, romantic kid/kid, or anyone with a family-like relationship.

Wreck-It Ralph

Any character from either movie. My favorite is Felix, but again I'm really down for any character!

For ships, I'm only up for Hero's Cuties (Felix/Calhoun) atm sorry.

Because the fandom is so scarce, AUs and OCs are okay too!

Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware

Any character as long as I can figure out who they are. My favorites are to draw are Benrey and Gordon, but I love everyone honestly!

Hmmmm ships? I'm down for drawing Frenrey, Boomer, or Sodashipping, I don't mind. (Secondary, I'm down for Freelatta, Tomrey, Darzen, and more. Don't be afraid to ask!)

(allowed for HLVRAI ONLY: more blood, guns, censored swearing, or body horror)

Specific HLVRAI AUs

Augmentedreality by @egelskop

@hlvrai-villian-swap

@hlvrai-stuck-together

Ghost AU, Swap AU, Benrey Fam, CMY Siblings, and Infection AU by @pistachi0art

Catmer AU by @mr-web

Metamorphosis AU by @anons-has-hlvrai-aus

Human Rights Violation by @kogo-dogo

@y2kvr

#requests open #I really look forward to drawing these!#HarmonyTRE #hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware

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imwall-e · 11 months

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A CHOICE TO MAKE

Paiting : Bucky x Reader

Warning : soulmate AU, fluff, angst

Word count : 2047

READER POV

At the age of one, small letters appeared on your left wrist : the initials of your soulmate. It has been like this for everyone over the centuries. Your parents were no exceptions, destined to be together. Their lives sealed by ink on the skin. However, that didn't stop them from fighting over and over again. Tearing themselves apart before your eyes every day, even to the point of forgetting your presence. When you were eight, they filed for divorce and left you with your Aunt Emilia.

From that moment on, you refused to believe in this absurd soulmate story, wearing a bandage that Emilia changed every day to hide the initials. After a while, you stopped remembering which letters were engraved.

As years went by, you stayed with your aunt. Your parents never came back. Never called you. If that was what love looked like, you didn't want it. You didn't want to be abandoned, to have your heart broken by anyone else.

As you grew up, drawing became your one true love. Your aunt taught you and you were really good at it. Studies have never interested you. So, when you finished high school, you joined your aunt in running her clothing boutique. She made everything herself and taught you everything you needed to know. Thanks to her talents and yours, the store flourished. You even had the opportunity to partner with a few well-known brands.

About your sentimental life, you finally decided to give it a chance. After all, your parents were probably an exception. Unfortunately, the few relationships you had failed. Either because you were too scared, or because you couldn't ignore the men's wrist : it was never your initials. And the main reason was that not many people wanted to be in a relationship with someone they knew wasn't their soulmate. As a result, you were still single at the age of 28.

You wanted to find love, but you still refused to look at your wrist. To avoid thinking about what you would never have, you worked relentlessly. After a busy day, you liked to go to your favorite café. It was open all night, which was perfect because you were more productive at night. Sometimes you even spent the night there. During another evening, you settled in with a café au lait in hand. You were concentrating on a new summer dress project and hadn't heard the stranger arrive.

BUCKY POV

It was another sleepless night for Bucky. It has been like that since Hydra. His dreams always turning into nightmares. He'd got into the habit of wandering around at night. It helped him to calm his mind. Steve, his best friend, had advised him to go out and explore. « It helped him when I woke up in the 21st century, » he had told him, before going back to the 40s.

Bucky was walking through the streets. Night had already fallen but New-York was called « the city that never sleeps » for a reason : there was always activity even at night. Yet, he still managed to find a quiet place in a small street. A café opened 24/7.

When he entered, a little bell announced his arrival. The owner was behind the counter, and greeted him with a smile. Bucky ordered a cup of black coffee. All the tables were free, except one. The young woman sitting by the window was wearing glasses, a computer in front of her, a pen in her hands and notebooks spread out on two tables.

He decided to approach her. After all, why not try to make new friends ? Plus, she was really pretty. He took his café and headed towards her.

« Is this place available ?, » he asked. But she didn't answer, her mind way too focused on her drawings. Bucky tried again and this time she jumped. « I'm sorry, » he quickly added, « I didn't mean to scare you. »

« No, it's fine. I was just working and sometimes I just don't pay attention to my surroundings, » she said, putting her things away to make room for him. While she was doing that, Bucky noticed the bandage on her wrist and wondered why. That made him think about his left arm, the metal one, hidden under his leather jacket, his hand under a glove. He couldn't remember the letters. And almost all pictures from his previous life had disappeared, making it impossible to find out. However, this wouldn't be useful. His soulmate must be dead by now. He was still alive, but love was dead for him.

READER POV When the man's voice finally reached your ears, you got scared because usually there weren't a lot of people in the café late at night, and no one talked to you because you were always busy. Your eyes met his blue ones, and it was like looking to the sky after a storm.

Instinctively, you looked at his wrist which was hidden under his clothes. It scared you and reassured you at the same time. Maybe he was like you. Maybe he didn't want to know either.

« My name is Bucky, » he said, holding out his hand for you to shake. You shyly took it, giving him your name. You sat, facing each other. He was interested in your drawings, and you told him about your job and the store you ran with your aunt.

« Do you also design men's clothes ?, » he asked, looking at your different drawings.

« No, I never tried to be honest. We also were never asked to do them, so I only created them for women. But, why not, that could be fun and we would reach more people. »

You continued talking and around 1 a.m, Bucky invited you for a walk through the city. « The night is still young, and I feel like none of us is tired… but only if you want of course, » he was scratching the back of his neck and his cheeks took a pink shade. He was nervous.

« It's okay, » you genuinely smiled at him, « I'd love to. » He looked relieved.

« I'm sorry, it has just been a long time since I invited a woman somewhere. If you feel uncomfortable of course, I won't bother you ! » He looked so nervous, it was cute.

« Bucky, it's fine. You're just talking like you are really old, » you chuckled.

« Well, let's talk about that while we're walking. »

While you were walking through the streets of New-York, Bucky told you about his life. The 40s, the war, Hydra, waking up to the 21st century. When you asked why he was telling you all of this, he said : « because it's not everyday that I can talk about my own story. Usually people learn from the Internet, and it's not the same. » He also explained that he was scared, because he knew that he was going to spend the rest of his life without a woman by his side. His soulmate was in the past, and he was here.

« I think that isn't true. Love can't only be defined by a tattoo. And if you really believed what you just said, you wouldn't be here with me. »

He stopped, taking your hand. « You seem angry. » You didn't answer. « I saw that you were hiding the letter, why ? You could look for your soulmate and be happy. »

« Because I don't believe in it. I don't want this fucking inscription to tell me who I have to love. » He told you about his story, so you did the same. He didn't judge you, instead he understood. « Come on old man, » you didn't want to talk about this anymore, « let's forget this soulmate thing and enjoy our night together. »

« Follow me, » he said, taking your hand, « I know a nice spot. »

Bucky took you to a building, using the elevator to get to the roof. He asked you to close your eyes and you opened them when you felt the wind on your face. The view was beautiful : you could see the lights of the town, some of them coming from windows. Looking at the sky, you were able to see a few stars. It was silent, the sound of the city seemed far away.

You looked back at Bucky who was smiling. He took his jacket off, revealing the metal arm. « Dance with me », he said. And you accepted, taking his hand.

« Where did you learn how to dance ?, » you asked, letting him guide you.

« My mom taught me, » you briefly saw sadness in his eyes but his smile was stronger. « I'm glad I didn't forget. »

You both stayed like that for a long time. No words were required. You could have stayed like that for the rest of the night, when it started to rain. « I should take you back to your place, » Bucky broke the comfortable silence.

"Wait, » you begin. « I.. I always wanted to have a kiss under the rain. » You could feel your cheeks burning. But you had to try because there was something different about him. Because he had no letters. Because maybe you had a chance. Because maybe life was easier this time.

He took your face in his big hands, and gently kissed you. The rain fell harder and harder, it was cold on your hot skin. But Bucky didn't stop and you didn't want him to. Nothing mattered but you and him.

Later, he took you to your place. And you both knew that even if it was the end of the night it was the beginning of a life together.

3 years later

It was a beautiful rainy day. The dark clouds were reflected in the lake. The reception room was decorated with blue flowers. People were talking as they were waiting for you. In a few minutes it would be your moment. One of the most important in your life.

Emilia helped you with the final touches. She noticed that you still had a bandage around your wrist. « You should remove it now, » she gently said. Bucky has often told you the same, he didn't care about what would be written on it.

« I'm scared, I don't want to ruin this day by seeing another man's letter. Only Bucky matters now. »

« Then, you won't pay attention to it. Trust me, take it off. » You looked into her eyes. You knew you could trust her, as always. With trembling hands and your heart beating loudly, you removed what was covering your skin. And you saw.

J. B. B.

Tears were rolling down your cheeks. Your aunt read the letters and smiled. « What is so funny ? » you asked.

« Honey, I remember the initials from before you decided to forget them. I even have a picture on which you can read them. I'm always keeping it in my wallet, in case you wanted to see it one day. » She handed you the picture, a younger version of yourself was smiling, waving at the camera. You took a look at this small hand.

S. G. R

« I don't… » But you didn't have the time to finish your sentence. The music started. It was time to go. You took your aunt's arm so she could walk you down the aisle. When Bucky saw you, he was amazed. Your dress was beautiful, and you had designed it yourself. He couldn't wait to say the words that would unite the both of you forever.

« Remember, » Emilia told you in the middle of the aisle, « your life isn't determined by letters, but by your choices. » You couldn't ask her any questions as you were already in front of Bucky. Looking into his perfect blue eyes, you remembered what you said a few minutes ago : Only Bucky matters now.

You looked again at the letters and realized that you were going to marry your soulmate, because it was your choice.

I hope you loved this soulmate OS! Tell me what you think in the comments !

#bucky #sebastianstan #james buchanan barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x you #bucky fanfiction #marvel #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #soulmate au #angst with a happy ending

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pendragon-of-chaos · 10 months

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Ambivalence

King of Chaos Arthur x Male!Reader

Warnings: Reader is the son of Zeldris and Gelda, Spoilers from manga chapters 104 - 108 aprox. (nothing really big, just storywise)

Word count: 1342

Thank the anon who requested it for his OC! I tried contacting him days ago because I'm not used to doing requests specifically for OCs (I prefer that my works are more "general" so the most people are able to insert themselves or their OCs in the stories) but since this was requested some time ago I couldn't receive an answer. In the end I decided to publish it writing (Y/N) instead of the OC's name, but keeping his main characteristics. That way if the OP who requested it comes through this he can just insert their name and know it was written specially for him, and at the same time other people can enjoy easily the oneshot too! Hope you like it!

Generally speaking, Arthur's knights don't usually comprehend some of his majesty behaviours. His mood changes whenever you least expect it. Just when you think you know his strategy, he says something you would never have thought about. Was he having a good or a bad day behind that smile? Who knows. But what they do know is his hatred for other races except humans.

Except that maybe that isn't really true, since their king has been visited by a certain someone from time to time, who was not only a demon, but half demon and half vampire.

Today was one of those days. The secret entrance that connected Camelot with the demon realm (and that was made specially for him) activated, and a familiar face passed through. Arthur didn't waste no time, and upon noticing his entrance he went to welcome him back

"A surprise visit today (Y/N)? You always like to impress me, don't you?" - The King approached him laughing - "Although I would prefer if you told me beforehand, that way I can at least prepare something and make sure I have no appointments"

(Y/N) didn't change his serious expression, arms crossed and looking directly to Arthur while the entrance behind him closed.

"I wish I was here just to kill some time, but this time was urgent. I couldn't stay anymore there"

Arthur stopped laughing and tilted his head, now curious of what had happened for him to be talking like that.

"That really isn't new with you, but what happened this time?"

"The four knights have entered the demon realm" - Arthur smirked at the information, seeing that Guinevere's words weren't a lie.

"Oh, I know, some of my knights are already following them, anything else I should know?"

"Well, I know my parents have already talked to the green haired one, Percival I think it was... and he was accompanied by a few more people..." - (Y/N) looked away while thinking for a few seconds, with a subtly sorrowful expression on his face that only could be noticed while paying extreme attention to him - "Mmh... I also saw my cousin there, Tristan... don't tell me he is what I think he is" He looked back at Arthur, who was smiling once again, trying to control his laugh

"So you didn't know it? I thought your parents maybe had told you... ~ But yes, he is one of the prophecy knights"

(Y/N) frowned, not wanting to believe a close member of his family had just become one of his biggest enemies

"By my father's look, it seems that he didn't know about it"

"So Meliodas didn't want to risk his son's life by spreading information, typical of him" - Arthur shrugged and started walking, inviting (Y/N) to follow him - "It must have been a big surprise for all of you"

"Everything has been a surprise since they entered the realm if I'm being honest. I've heard my father talk wonders about Percival, it looks like the whole clan adores him since years ago, and I didn't know anything about what had happened until now. It feels like my parents decided to drop every ounce of unknown information today, and the worst part is that it affects us" - (Y/N) clicked his tongue thinking about it - "I hate it"

"Can't blame you. I don't like them either ~" - Arthur responded with a bratty laugh, followed by a deep sigh from his companion, which made him stop his laughing once again, looking at him out of the corner of his eye - "Sorry, but you already know the story behind it, I can't bring myself to tolerate them just one bit"

"Yeah, I know, I can't defend them I guess. Anyways, I do need to tell you something else"

Arthur turned his head to face him again

"Wait, there's even more?" - (Y/N) nodded, looking at his surprised violet eyes

"Did you know that another portal to Camelot has appeared in the demon realm?"

Arthur's eyes opened with surprise, being this information the only thing he really didn't know about

"I didn't have any idea. I've never done any other connection with the demon realm besides your entrance. And I also didn't sense anyone entering from there"

"No wonder, since that opening is inaccessible for now. It's on the Behemoth's back, a giant monster which was put to sleep almost 15 years ago. I heard my father say that it recently woke up and now can be a big problem for us living in the realm, since when it's active it swallows up all life, including us demons or vampires... If that isn't your doing or your knights then I don't know what's happening"

"I see, well I don't think I have to worry that much then; although it might be because of those knights of the apocalypse, everyday giving me headaches... And besides, that would gather the attention to that one entrance, and not the one I made exclusively for you, which benefits us both, don't you think so? - Arthur smiled happily, closing his eyes - "If it ever becomes a problem you can come here! That's all I care about that matter"

"Thinking about it that way, I guess you are right" - (Y/N) lowered his head, thinking about his words and all the information he had to understand in just a few hours. Arthur opened his eyes, looking at him, noticing how lost in his thoughts (Y/N) was.

"Too much information huh? Understandable... but I'm glad you didn't waste time and came as fast as possible to explain it to me" - Arthur patted his head softly - "I knew making an exception for you was the right decision. But I also feared this moment, the moment when you would doubt yourself and how to proceed. Now that your parents are also involved, along with your clans, and helping my enemies; you want to help me, but at the same time it becomes more difficult, am I right? Can I also say that you might be a little scared? Scared of making the wrong decision, scared of losing what you love here in Camelot if you fail, and being considered a traitor at the same time. Nowhere to go in the end"

(Y/N) looked back at him, alarmed, trying to answer him fast, but the only words that initially left his lips were gibberish

"Arthur I-! I swore to help you and I'll keep doing it, it's just... too much information for the day as you said... I'll need to prepare myself for everything" - He took a deep breath - "But I know I'm in the right place, and I won't look back now... Because, I can also count with your protection, right?"

Arthur took back his hand from his head, smiling softly

"(Y/N), I'll be clear: Your safety is my priority, don't ever think the contrary" - A tint of blush appeared on both of them - "I'm just advising you to be careful so we don't need to take greater measures. Nothing would make happier than if you could live a "normal" life seeing the circumnstances. And think about having one of my marks, it would be safer"

(Y/N) turned his eyes away from Arthur's intense glare, breathing deeply

"Hmm... I'll think about it. The problem is if they ever see it, I won't be able to cover that up as easily as the entrance"

"Fair enough. We can discuss it again when I have the coffin of eternal darkness with me, that way you'll be free from its effect" - Arthur took (Y/N)'s hand, leaning to kiss its back - "Now... if you have told me everything you wanted, what about we spend the rest of the evening here?" - Arthur separated his face from (Y/N)'s hand, and continued walking holding his hand - "I could use some company while I wait for the results of this mission"

#4kota #mokushiroku no yon kishi #four knights of the apocalypse #arthur 4kota #arthur x reader #arthurxreader #4kota arthur x reader #4kota arthur #arthur 4kota x reader

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bonefall · 7 months

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clanmew day! here are the names of the main characters of the wc fic i’m working on, translated roughly into clanmew

strikestar - kachkushai, “will-strike-with-a-claw-star,” BUT this is temporary. i really want her name to translate to “lightning-striking-star” but i couldn’t find a verb for that on the doc. substituting the strike- i want for an acceptable strike- in the meantime, haha.

flashfire - swafkafyar, “spreading-wildfire.” i wanted to communicate the sudden growth of a vast flame, and swaf- was the best for communicating flash- in my mind. i could have chosen one of the light source words but i like the synergy of these two.

quickwater - prriprrarosha, “fast, heavy sloshing water” - definitely wanted to communicate the image of whitewater rapids with this. i think “prrirosh” would also be a cute nickname for this character (not that he lets anyone but one person call him that)

billowpaw - ssehpwyr, “steam-paw.” the reason for choosing “billow” as her prefix was specifically to evoke the image of water vapor rising and sseh- really nails that one down. (was really excited to see you add your own billowpaw to BB! twins!)

stoneswoop - karkfe, “precarious broken stone.” he was named that bc his leader Despises Him but needed to have him around to boost numbers, but resents his apparent weakness and anticipates a definite fall from grace. i couldn’t quite find a word that translates to -swoop exactly, but i think this works. translator might have gone with stoneswoop over rockfall for a little more nuance or maybe just finding the alliteration more pleasing to the ear. who knows. (not me and i write the damn thing)

silver - she deliberately doesn’t change her name to fit in with clan life so it’s not ssoen, i think it’s just silver with a clanmew accent, so sylvar.

how’d i do? :) thanks again for putting so much love into clanmew! it’s been really inspiring to me and it’s always a delight to read. love ur blog and ur creative work! - @badgerstep

Excellent work!! I always appreciate the translations that try to nail a "vibe" in the Clanmew, like Swarfkafyar. I'm also very fond of Karkfe, it's fun to see names that invoke a lot more than the translation quite gets, I love the image of a broken stone that's teetering on the edge of a precipice, like a reminder that he's on thin ice.

Strikestar

According to what you're wanting with the name, this is going to have a WHOLE connotation. There is a verb in Clanmew that means "struck by lightning"-- and its direct translation is "Smite."

Clan cats believe that to be struck by lightning is StarClan getting so mad they straightup delete your little kitty butt. You don't have to be DIRECTLY struck either. Mudclaw was smote by the island bridge, when the base of the tree was struck by lightning.

So if her name was Struck-by-lightning-star, it would be Bchyywshai!

(btw this word is pronounced like... BKHEWW, it mimics the clap of thunder right after a nearby lighting strike. CH as in Loch.)

Swoop

This one DOES translate directly if you'd like! (tho I'd absolutely keep Karkfe.)

There are two types of swoops. There's the swoop of a predator, and the swoop of prey. Clan cats have a TON of verbs dedicated to describing the movements of birds specifically, because they're both hunters AND prey themselves and really need to describe the various ways these animals move.

The one that was used in Acorn Swoop's name is the swoop of a predator.

Swoop (of predator) = Hasoosoo/Hasoos/Hasoo When a predator swoops, it is diving at a target. There is a goal in mind. This is important because if you "duck" when a hawk comes at you like any other flying projectile, you're dead. Acorn Swoop's name, Kong Hasoos, became the word for predatory swooping exactly because of a raptor's use of prra. It's an admirable thing to be able to strike at exactly the right time and place. The exception to this verb being exclusive to predators is swallows, which swoop down to drink from the top of water. Clan cats give them this verb too because swallows are their beloved, special little guys who fly better than anything else.

Swoop (of prey) = Faasafaf/Faasafa/Faasaf Prey very rarely has the same "silent glide" that a deadly predator does, with much shorter wings better suited for quick takeoffs to escape. When they swoop down to look at something, you can still usually hear the flutter of a wingbeat. And it is mostly curiosity that a prey animal swoops with... OR insects. Things that are small, sometimes undetectable, and definitely not you. You are not the target.

Funny enough, Gullswoop's name in Clanmew is neither of these words.

Billow and Silver

Billow is simple. It's the slow, heavy movement of steam, smog, and smoke, especially from wood that is wet when burned.

Billowed/Billowing/Will Billow = Lofhwaol/Lofhwao/Lofhwa

Billowcloud's warrior name is going to be Lofhwaoharryr. Billowing-Fast-Moving-Cloud. Lofha for short!

And, lastly, Silver! That word approximated in a Clanmew accent drops the V! It would be Syylfr.

#Clanmew

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lovelytsunoda · 2 years

Text

does your mother know // nyck de vries

summary: nyck’s wanted this for years, and now his dream is finally coming true. his girlfriend thinks it’s time to celebrate. or, celebratory sex with nyck to celebrate his alphatauri contract

authors note: kay so this isn't going to be completely smutty, there is going to be lots of fluff in here as well but i'll let you know when it starts to get smutty if thats where you want to stop reading.

ALSO thanks for over 550 followers ( it's still sinking in!)

and dedication to @2-fast-2-curious who specifically said they couldn’t wait to read :)

shes sitting at the dining room table, textbooks and papers spread out in front of her while she types up her reports, the perils of working at the main office for one of europe's biggest car manufacturers.

nyck comes home all excited, too much energy for his tiny body to handle, he's practically jumping off the walls

‘babe, guess what I did today?”

y/n shrugs, barely looking up from the screen. "i don't know, babe. what did you do today?"

"i signed the alphatauri contract!"

that definitely gets her attention. her head flicks up from her laptop and she turns to nyck, eyes wide

"you signed?"

he nods. "i'll be driving full time next year."

shes out of her seat in an instant, arms wrapped around nyck as they scream in glee, bouncing up and down in the middle of the dining room

"i'm so proud of you!" she gushes, kissing nyck passionately "we need to celebrate!"

which means getting all dressed up

shes in a short green sundress

he's wearing a button down shirt and slacks, the pendant on his cord necklace resting comfortably between the shirt's open buttons

celebrating means getting milkshakes at three in the afternoon and taking pictures in the park, giggling and walking hand in hand

before y/n insists on a trip to build a bear, especially after she learns that nyck has never been before.

"come on, when i was in middle school, this is how i celebrated every important moment in my life."

"except we're not in middle school, babe. we're adults who pay taxes."

"you're no fun."

eventually, nyck gives in

because who could say no to build a bear?

they're waiting in line with the empty bear skins so they can get them stuffed. they got stuck behind a group of kids celebrating a tenth birthday

nyck can't help himself, it's the adrenaline of signing the contract, combined with how beautiful she looks in that little polka dot sundress

slyly slips his hand up the back of her dress and dances his fingers across her ass.

"nyck." she warns, batting his hand away. "there are kids here. you cannot seriously be teasing me in a build a bear."

but she wasn't going to deny that she was taken with the sight of nyck in his button down, the sleeves rolled up to show off his muscular forearms.

of course, it's just their luck that the kid who's birthday party is stuck in front of them is a massive formula e fan

so naturally, nyck gets roped in the participating in this little kid's birthday party

he secretly really enjoyed it

once they get back home, he can't keep his hands to himself.

his lips on hers as soon as they get through the door, cardboard build a bear carriers dropped on the floor, shoes clumsily slipped off as he begins to kiss her neck, nipping at the most sensitive spots so he can hear her breath hitch

and this is where you stop reading if u do not want to read the smutty bits because oh boy-

they don’t even make it to the bedroom

nycks on the couch, only two buttons on his shirt remain fastened, hes ridiculously hard in his jeans

y/n crawls on top of him, pressing a kiss to his lips as she runs her hands over his chest

“I’m so proud of you, darling.”

and then she sinks to her knees, undoing nycks belt before she takes his cock in her mouth

his head thrown back in pleasure, lips parted as he groans, fingers digging in to the couch cushions

do y’all remember this picture because I do and that’s the kind of energy we’re giving here

it’s simultaneously the most angelic and most unholy thing that y/n has ever seen as she sucks and licks and clenches her thighs together as she takes him deeper and deeper

“you’re so good to me, angel. that’s my sweet girl.”

“can you be a good girl and swallow for me darling?”

nyck is still breathing heavily, trying to recover from the orgasm when y/n gets to her feet with a grin, and runs in the direction of the bedroom

“babe, where are you going?”

“you’re gonna love it! just give me a minute, wait right there!”

one minute turns into two and then three and nyck is so horny and impatient that he can’t wait any more and he just gets up and goes to the bedroom himself while she’s still getting ready

the sight takes his breath away

shes wearing a navy blue lingerie set, one of his white button down shirts pulled on overtop, a fabric so light that nyck can see the ghostly imprint of the lingerie

lips dusted with a coating of clear lip gloss that made hem shine in the half light

and suddenly nyck is very very hard again

“impatient, are we?”

she knew nyck would come and find her. it was all a part of her master plan

crosses the room and pulls nyck into her arms, pressing a deep and intimate kiss to his lips, taking his bottom lip in hers as he slides his hand over ass, playing with the lace on her panties

“god, you know how much it turns me on when you wear my clothes, right?”

she takes one step back and starts undoing the shirt buttons, pulling the collar down around her shoulders to show off the bra

she turns around and let’s nyck pull her close, her ass pressed against his hard-on.

he’s running his fingers over her shoulders, over the strap of the bra before he gently pulls it back and let’s go,watching it snap against her skin

he barely caught the tiny moan that y/n let out as the strap hit her skin before he slipped his hand down the front of her underwear

“have I told you how in love with you I am?”

before long, the shirts are lying on the floor, nycks jeans soon to follow as hes got y/n on her stomach

running kisses down her back, sliding her lacy panties off and casting them aside

the bra stays on (he looks like he has a specific liking for lingerie to the point where it borders on a kink for him)

arms on either side of her head, her slender fingers wrapped around his wrist as he roughly thrusts into her

his hips hitting her ass, low moans escaping his throat that he tries to muffle by continuing to kiss her exposed neck, shoulders, upper back etc.

“shit, nyck, you feel so good. ohhh, just like that, baby.”

bucking her hips back against him, trying to take him as deep as she can

her head is facing to the side, and nyck leans down to kiss her tenderly

“I’m so in love with you and it drives me crazy.”

“oh god, nyck, I-I think I’m gonna-“

“come for me darling, come on my cock. I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

lying in bed next to each other, running her fingers through his hair as they kiss each other softly, wrapped in blankets and covered in sweat

talking in hushed voices with their foreheads pressed together

“I love you, nyck. and I’m so proud of you for getting that contract.”

“I love you too, darling. I can’t wait to have you by my side in the paddock next year. especially if you wear one of those little alphatauri polos with the v-necks.”

she giggles as she playfully slaps his chest

posting pictures form that night: the build a bears, pictures form the park, the video of nyck at the kids birthday party

captioned “we have something to celebrate, but we can’t tell you yet.”

the internet thinks that they’re either getting married or having a baby

one week later, nyck makes the official announcement and it all makes sense

#nyck de vries #nyck de vries x reader #formula one x reader #f1 imagine #f1 headcanons #f1 smut #f1 x reader

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sophieinwonderland · 4 months

Text

There was one more smear post that's been spread around that I need to address.

The first two points of this post aren't really that relevant. One is being mad at me for identifying as a tulpa and defending myself.

Another accuses me of spreading misinformation which is too vague to even bother arguing since people can call anything they disagree with misinformation.

Pretty usual stuff.

The third point though...

If anyone has seen this and would like further context for this supposed harassment campaign, here are the details.

(Assuming this isn't someone else who I don't know about.)

There was a system who started making posts making various attack posts about me, I think around last February. These posts ranged from callout posts accusing me of being transphobic or racist or dangerous to reblogging sysmeds who were arguing against my posts, including one that this system tagged by telling me to get banned.

All in all, when I counted at the time, I think my name was mentioned on their syscourse blog over 80 times in about six months. (CTRL+F is nice.)

This wasn't even including vagues. These are just mentions of my name.

During all of these callout posts and personal attacks, do you know what I did?

Nothing.

I ignored them.

When they reached out to try to talk to me to convince me to change my evil ways after that... I ignored them more, because I'm frankly not interested in hearing someone out who spent months attacking me personally and telling me to get banned.

Then I blocked them.

They, upset by this, made a callout post on their positivity blog telling their followers to block me. Then reblogged that to bump it several times. (I may be wrong about the timeline here. Maybe this came before me blocking them, while I was just still ignoring them. I can't remember exactly.)

As of that time, they had posted attack after attack after attack against me. I hadn't interacted with them or said anything bad about them directly at all, or so much as mentioned their names.

...

The so-called "harassment campaign" was me making, I don't know, maybe 4 or 5 posts in total (including responding to anons who asked about it) after a pro tulpa user they @'d was temporarily banned following a callout post they made that @'d that user... a user who had them blocked at the time.

They took issue with me calling their attacks against that user attacks, and falsely said I accused them of reporting the banned user user. (In reality, I was clear that I didn't know if they were responsible and didn't want to accuse them of falsely reporting, but I do hold them responsible in that the ban likely was triggered by them @'ing the other blog in an attack post. A blog which they knew had them blocked.)

I also said that I didn't understand why someone would tag an account that had them blocked unless they were intending to point harassers in the direction of potential victims.

I can't for the life of me understand why they felt the need to tag an account that had them blocked. Generally, the point of tagging an account is to send them a notification to let them know they were mentioned. But that doesn't happen if you're blocked. In fact, not receiving notifications from users is kind of the main point of blocking. So... what was the reason for tagging the blog that they were blocked by other than putting an easier target on their back so any potential harassers would be within one click of the blog? Because I can't think of a single one.

In that user's subsequent response to this, after reading this and hearing me explain why you shouldn't tag users who have you blocked, they tag me and link to my posts, while fully knowing I blocked them. Which at least feels to me like an intentional and malicious decision.

Me: There's no reason to tag someone who has you blocked except to send harassers at them. Person I have blocked: Everyone, look what @sophieinwonderland said about me!

I also didn't "send my followers after them." I did end up mentioning their names (again, after literal months of them talking about me on their blog by name). But I didn't tell people to go harass them. Nor did I link directly to their posts or blog.

The Harassment Campaign

So, who was harassing who here?

If me making a small handful of posts that mention someone's blog name is harassment, what are the dozens of time my name was mentioned on theirs in posts attacking me?

What are the callout posts about me?

Or going beyond this user, the entire #Sophiecourse tag???

I don't care to rehash old drama, nor do I care about the particular user. It's water under the bridge, and I barely even think about that incident or them anymore. I actually genuinely hope they're doing well.

But I do need to comment on the sheer hypocrisy of the OP and anyone buying into this narrative that a few mentions of someone who made multiple callout posts about me by name, called me dangerous and transphobic and told me to get banned, is somehow me harassing them.

The sheer cognitive hypocrisy of the OP is wild.

And this also applies to their own post too.

If saying a couple negative things about someone is harassment...

I genuinely wonder how they would feel if I had that person's name in my pinned, making sure negativity about that user is the first thing anyone who clicks on my blog will see, telling everyone who follows that individual to not interact, while making lists of reasons I don't like them.

I genuinely don't care if certain people hate me. I don't care if people want to say bad things about me. I expect it, in fact. Anything you say that goes against societal norms will cause controversy. I'm not here to please everyone.

But at least grow up and stop being hypocrites about it.

I'm sick of the double standards on display, where attacking me is normalized and encouraged, and if I say anything about someone, even someone who attacked me first, they claim I'm harassing them.

#syscourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #sophiecourse #sophieindwonderland #harassment tw #actually a system

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morallyinept · 1 month

Note

i am a fic writer, and admittedly I don’t read others works as much as I probably should because any free time I have is usually spent writing if not one of my other hobbies. i do try though. but you both write AND read a colossal amount, how?! how do you consistently write so much? you publish so many fics and I cannot wrap my head around it. what’s your process and what keeps you motivated? i’ve been struggling with motivation for a number of reasons lately and one of them is because of sort of feeling like a waste of space here on tumblr. I have friends and readers and moots that I’m grateful for but…I don’t know. i wish my blog was more like yours sometimes. i feel like i post and then I’m just a ghost and people forget i’m here.

Hey Non! 🖤

The short answer is, I have no life 😝 Kidding, I'm just super organised, I think. But there are some other factors...

I'm a pretty fast reader, (I was a freelance proofreader for a while) so I can read pretty quickly, and I utilise my lunch breaks at work, or the downtime before bed to read too. Chronic insomnia also helps! 🥴

I'm big list lover (as you might've seen) and I really utilise my likes to bookmark stuff I want to come back to and add to the Fic Rec List. I try to update it weekly (or bi-weekly if I'm busy) so things don't get lost in my likes. I also use my rec list as my own way of tracking what I want to read in future/have already read. I then try to reblog it once I've read it (something I'm trying to be better at, admittedly).

With regards to writing, a lot of my stuff is written in advance, so stuff I post is queued up from weeks/months ago when I wrote it, except things I write on a whim when an idea comes and I wanna post it quicker. I write a bunch of GIFLETS usually in a day, for example, as they're pretty short and will give me weeks of fics to post.

Writing is my passion, so I write a lot. I've been writing since I could write my own name pretty much.

I joke about having no life, but lately I've had additional free time due to having a back injury, (I'm ok!) so I've been resting and able to write more than I usually would, so I'm taking full advantage of that too with forward planning. That will slow down considerably though when I go back to work in a few weeks.

I utilise my free time, and writing is my main hobby, alongside doodling. I do make time for other things though. I don't spend 100% of my free time constantly writing. Again, it comes down to organisation, I write notes (a heck of a lot of notes!) and keep WIPs in order etc...

Scheduling/queuing posts is something I do a lot too, so it proabably looks like I'm always online posting and reading, but I'm actually not. It's all stuff I've queued up ready to go and can forget about.

I probably spend around 1-2 hours a day updating my queue, designing banners/posts etc... and then responding to comments/re-blogs, ASKs etc... and that's not all at the same time, it'll be spread out throughout the day too. Some days more than others, and other days not at all.

Same with writing, I'll spend time doing it daily or dedicate a sole day at the weekend if I have no plans, and limit myself too so I don't burn out or forget about other things, like adulting. (I should probably mention I'm single and live by myself, so I have plenty of time to do my own things without worrying about spending time with a partner or anything. I do make time to see my friends and family regularly though.)

What keeps me motivated? Well, you guys, for one. Readers and interaction. Music. Pedro, of course, and my own thoughts (thots). But being organised really helps me so I don't burn out.

But I just wanna mention that I too, struggle with motivation. I've had writer's block a few times lately and have often considered my own place here too at times. And you're not a waste of space, I can assure you. Everybody brings something different to this fandom, I think. And that's a good thing. Variety is the spice of life, afterall. ✨️

Primarily, writing for your own enjoyment should come first. I know that's easy for me to say, but I honestly don't give a damn about the number of notes my posts get, I much prefer the engagement personally.

I write for me, because I enjoy it. But I get that everyone's reasons are different, and I know it can feel disappointing and leave you pondering "why bother?" When you don't necessarily get the engagement you hope for.

I guess it stems also a little to that old saying you get out what you put in. On outward appearance, it seems like I put in a hell of a lot, 😅 but it really comes down to me just being a little regimented and utilising my time as best as I can, I guess.

I could wake up one morning in the future and decide I don't want to do this anymore, so I'm enjoying doing it for now. Plus, I suppose the more followers and engagement you have, the more it could become difficult to stay on top of that too... I guess it's a balancing act to some degree.

I think it's important not to compare yourself though. Everyone has their own lives outside of Tumblr, and some may not be able to post as much as they want to, and that's perfectly okay. Being here isn't a race. You're not on a deadline, so don't put unncessary pressure on yourself.

Your own blog/corner of the internet is yours and unique to you. Be proud of what you've made it into. 🥰

Hoo boy, I rambled on a bit! 🫣 Oops! But I hope that answers your questions, lovely.

Love you! 🖤

#jett's asks #pedro pascal fandom #writing

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starkidwriting · 2 years

Text

Unique Family

Summary: A demon child reader survives the best they can against villagers that want them to die. Mk and the gang go on a trip to get errands only available in a certain village. They soon hear a tale of a demon living in an abandoned garden and decide to investigate.

A/n: Hello! I am @starkidblogs and this is my small writing blog! I wanted to keep my main account just for reblogs. So, I made this side account. I will still post and end my other story on that account but any other stories will be posted here. I hope you enjoy reading this Freenoodle x Demon child! reader. Found family type of fiction.

A demon, that's all you are to them. A disgusting demon, that doesn't deserve to exist. You thought as a villager attacked you before he even landed a blow on you. You moved out of the way and he was out cold as he ran into a tree. You giggled a bit as you moved his body to the closet home and walked back to your home. Another day of dealing with everyone wanting to kill you.

Villagers kept coming into your home and failing at ending you. You had to deal with a lot of these encounters. Why? Because you live near a village that was afraid of you. You were a demon. One look at you sends people running away. You did nothing to them, well, nothing that they didn't deserve. Everyone feared you and how "vicious" you were. No one ever listened to your side. Almost everyone despised you except for a woman. Your Mimi, you remember how you met her.

~Flashback~

You were a small (f/c) demon, lost and afraid. You had run away from other monsters that wanted to devour you. You made your way into a garden for safety. Your stomach growl in hungry, and you see some riped (F/f). You decide to eat only a few because you do not want to cause suspicion. As you ate, you didn't notice someone observing you. Hearing a chuckle, you turned to see a tall older lady covering her mouth from laughing. You jumped and were about to make a run for it, but she spoke. "Wait, don't you want some more?" You turn to face them before nodding. She cut and gave you another (F/f).

You ate it before she had time to give you another (f/f). "pretty hungry, uh?" She asked, "a little," you responded before a growl came from your stomach. You blushed as the lady laughed, "how about a hot meal? The name's Mimi." She told you, and you weren't sure what was happening but noticed she was being genuine to you. "My name's (Y/n)." you smiled with stains on your face. That's how you meet your only family in that village.

She took you in hiding, you from other people. She had a hard time hiding you in a busy village. But she did her best, giving you a happy life. Mimi treated you as her child as you stayed with her. You asked her why she was kind to you. She said, "I saw a lost child looking for a place to call home. Now you have one with me." When she said that, you felt happiness and a sense of belonging when you stayed with her for two years.

You hoped it remained like this, but news spread fast about you. A few villagers spotted you one day outside playing a game of tag with Mimi. They believed Mimi was in danger or possessed by you. That night they mobbed her outside of her cottage. They demanded Mimi hand you over to them, but your guardian refused. They gave her one last opportunity to turn you in, but she said, "why are you after a child!" They told her, "That thing is a demon spawn! It needs to stop!" You didn't know what was happening as you hid behind Mimi and saw her covering you from stones hurled at you.

After not giving in, they pulled her away from you and beat her as she tried to protect you from the angry mob. You saw her telling you to run before she died at the mob's hands. They accused you of her death that you could have handed yourself in. Before the villagers could do anything to you, Your eye glowed (F/c) for the next 10 minutes. Everything turned into a blur. You gazed into the orange blaze of igniting homes. As you regained awareness, hearing the screams of terrorized villagers. You wanted to feel satisfaction in the pain that they were feeling, but you couldn't. You felt empty as you went back to your home, where you saw the body of Mimi. She looked like she was asleep. You felt tears drop from your eyes as you cried. Now you were alone.

~End of Flashback~

From that day on, you didn't let anyone set foot in your garden, where her shrine was. You made sure there were warnings signs for them before they made a big mistake in walking in. The villagers wanted you out but did not want to deal with your wrath again. They made a reward for your death. The land you live on would belong to those who can end you. You soon met so many villagers desperate to get rid of you or want your land. You never let them off easy. There were times you almost lost a limb or an eye. After defeating them, you would steal everything they had and throw them back into the village as a sign. 'Stop!!!' Today was the same thing. You sighed as you placed a lit candle on Mimi's shrine under the tree where you first met her. "I miss you, Mimi..." You whisper, frowning as you sit down under the tree and fall asleep.

Mk gang

"Mk, we need to go on an errand run," Pigsy said as he looked around through his chili stash, seeing it empty. "To the Market?" Mk asked, but Pigsy shook his head. "No Mk, to get this kind of chili and spices, we got to go to a village. It's pretty far, but they have the spiciest chili on earth." He said as Tang ate his noodles, hearing his spouse talk about his favorite spices. "I remember that place. It has been a while since we went there. I remember the stories they would tell visitors." Tang said as Mk tried to imagine the place they were going to.

A loud Mei burst into the noodle shop and jumped on mk back. "Mk, I'm bored! It's been too long since we went anywhere fun!" Mei whined as Sandy walked in after her. "Hey guys, anything new with you?" He asked with his smile. Pigsy sighed as he saw mk falling to the ground along with Mei. Tang grinned and said, "well, we are going on an errand run to a village with amazing spices! As well as history! Would you guys want to come?" Mei had starry eyes as she shot up and nodded her head off. "YEAH! THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!" She yelled. Sandy also agreed to join along. "Well, let's get ready cause well be leaving soon," Pigsy said, mk and Mei excited, while Sandy and Tang chuckled at them.

~ Timeskip~

It was time to start their journey to the village in Sandy's van. Sandy was driving, and Pigsy was in the passenger seat giving directions. Tang sat in the back while Mei and Mk looked out the windows to see land and a garden of (F/f). "Woah! That's a lot of (f/f)! Are they also well known for that?" Mk asked his dads. "No, they used to, but something happens, and now it's there vacant." Tang replied while Pigsy said, "yeah, it was about two years ago when it stopped." Mei gasped and smiled "oh! small-town mystery?!"

"Hey guys, we're getting close," Sandy said as they saw homes getting closer. "Woah!! This place is so cool!" Mei said as she started a live stream to show the buildings and people. They stop nearby a farmers market, and we're in awe. Pigsy made his way to his chili and spice dealer. While Tang was babysitting the two enthusiastic kids, Sandy went to see what teas they sold. "Mk! Mei! Stop running around!" Tang yelled while running after them. They saw the homes and land, weaving through the people and having a good time, but they stopped in front of an older man. "Beware, kids, of the demon in the (F/f) garden. Only if you're bold enough to face them!" He said, getting the duo's attention. Tang caught up to them while trying to catch his breath.

"Woah! a demon in the (F/f)? Why are they there?" Mk asked the old man. The old man grinned as mk and Mei sat down near him. " That demon was there to torment an older woman. She was there for a year. Until the people tried and set her free from that monster, but it was already too late. Soon that monster would attack the villages after ending their prey. Now, we beg heros to help us in defeating them. But they come back empty-handed." He coughed before adding, "But if you can defeat them, you get the land that they live." Mei and Mk were more stoked about wanting to solve this small-town mystery than the actual reward.

Tang felt the energy coming off them and wasn't too excited but was curious about the story. 'What happened to that lady? Why would a demon stay that long?'. "Tang, we have to go and solve this mystery!" Mk and Mei say in unison, bringing Tang back to earth. Tang sighed, "Let's wait for Sandy and Pigsy. I hope that they don't want to go." He whispered the last part while walking back to the van. After a while, Sandy found the three. Mk and Mei explained to him about the demon and wanted to expose this mystery. He agreed as Tang tried to tell him no but failed. Pigsy came back to the van and asked, "What's happening? Mk and Mei, did you guys get in trouble?"

Tang shook his head as he said, "Nope, at least not yet." Pigsy was soon bombard by Mei and Mk. "No, now come on, let's go," Pigsy said as he loaded the van with the goods he bought. "But what about the mystery! We can solve it, maybe even defeat the demon!" Mk said while he and Mei put puppy eyes and looked at Tang and Pigsy. Tang sighed, giving in to them. "Fine. We will see this garden, but if anything starts to get dangerous. We are leaving." Pigsy said, not wanting to deal with the puppy eyes anymore, and heard them cheer in victory. They then drive near the entrance of the garden. Seeing warning signs everywhere. Tang shook a bit before asking, "you sure it's a good idea?" But Sandy, Mei, and Mk were already out of the van and into the garden. The two parents' figures groaned before following right behind them.

They found a small cottage. Mk entered first to see if anyone was inside, but it was empty, waving to the others to come in. As they walked in to see it clean, having a plate of uneaten food, a small unlit fireplace, and bookshelves. Tang walked closer to the shelf. He saw it filled with china mythology, worn-out JTTW books, and some folk stories. Mk saw the JTTW books and got excited, asking Tang. "woah! Do you think they're a fan of Monkey king?" Tang shrugged as he looked at them closer. Mei walked around and opened a door leading into a room for a child. "Woah, Did they mention the lady having kids?" She asked as she saw stuffed toys and art of two people with each other.

Pigsy found another room, but it seemed untouched by anyone for a long time. He decided it was best to leave it alone. But he saw the pictures of a woman and child covered in dust, making it difficult to see their faces. Sandy went outside and spotted a shrine with a figure against the tree. "Hey guys, I think there's a kid out there?" He said as walk backed inside. Tang checked out the books while Mk was reading the JTTW books. Pigsy came into the living area asking, "a kid living here? Alone with a demon here? What type of people would leave a kid by themselves?!" He said as he tried not to shout. Tang looked up and was also confused. "That does seem odd? You would think they would take the kid?" Mei chimes in as she joins them in the living room. "Things aren't making any sense." She scratches her head in confusion.

"Well, why don't we talk to this kid? Maybe they have some explanations or clues to this weird mystery." Tang said as he put the book away. "Yeah, but let's be careful. They seem to be asleep next to a shrine," Sandy said as the gang left the cottage. "Maybe a few of us go and talk? To not overwhelm them." Pigsy said, turning in the direction of the shrine. They all see a figure in the distance. Mk spoke up, "How about Mei and I go talk to them?" "Yeah, Mk and I can handle children!" Mei said with a grin as one arm around mk shoulders, both giving a goofy smile. Pigsy sighed before saying. "Guys, as much as you want to help, your energy could scare the kid off. If we aren't careful."

"I agree and think it would be best if Pigsy and Sandy should go," Tang said while Mei and Mk pouted. Until Sandy spoke, "Guys, I would go to help, but I think my height might scare the kid." Tang sighed a bit before changing his answer. "okay, Pigsy and I will go." Pigsy was surprised at his husband's response but nodded in understanding. "Okay, we will be back with the kid and hopefully some explanations." He said as he and Tang walked towards the shrine. As they walked closer, they saw the child's skin becoming more (f/c) and showed their horn. "Pigsy, is it me, or does that child have horns and (f/c) skin?" Tang asked the demon pig. Pigsy was also confused about this.

They walked closer to the shrine and were able to see a picture of a smiling woman. A plate of (F/f), flowers, and candles were on the shrine. They both bowed in respect for coming to what they believed was her home. The pig demon heard sniffles and yawns from the "kid" sleeping on the tree. Tang was surprised and whispered, "Is this the demon they were telling us about? The 'demon' that tormented an old woman?" He rubbed his chin as he tried to make sense of this new information. Pigsy was about to speak but heard the kid whisper "Mimi.." while they nestled with their tail.

Words: 2,408

Small a/n: I try making this a gender neutral as possible. Plus this is only half of what i have written so far. HAHAHA Someone help me TuT

#freenoodleshipping #lmk freenoodles #pigsy x tang #lmk x reader #Lego monkie kid #Freenoodle x reader #lego monkie kid x reader #I love the found family trope!!!!#StarKidWritings #g/n reader

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jaimebluesq · 8 months

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I'm very interested in several but especially sangcheng coup

This was another idea I'd had for the SangCheng minibang that I started to write and decided would end up too long for the bang (and considering my current word count will come to just under 50k, I wonder if it would have been fine lol). I do like it and think it might be fun to finish one day!

But the idea of the fic is a canon-divergence set shortly after Nie Mingjue's death. The Nie sect is a very martial sect, and NHS was hit very hard by his brother's death, and several Nie cousins get together and decide NHS will not make a good sect leader. They plan a coup, starting with NHS leaving the Unclean Realm to go into town escorted by a disciple loyal to the rebels, who will lead him to a place where an assassin waits.

The assassination attempt fails - NHS may be a shit fighter but he can get away and hide like nobody's business! But then there are people trying to find him, meanwhile the Unclean Realm has closed itself to outsiders while the rebels decide who among them will lead Qinghe Nie. Word spreads to the other sects of what happened and LXC and JGY go out to search for NHS, both worried about him, and they send word to Yunmeng Jiang.

JC gets the news and is in shock, has so many conflicting emotions because he and NHS haven't seen each other much since the war, but this was his friend once, and this isn't *right*. He tries to keep apprised of the search efforts, but no NHS in sight. He remembers their days in Gusu and remembers one drunken night, NHS telling him about a place he likes to go to to get away from everyone, including his brother, and on a whim, JC grabs Sandu and leaves to go there. He arrives just in time because a group of mercenaries (several had been hired by QHN, mundanes rather than cultivators, because they figured NHS wouldn't give them much of a fight) were about to find NHS and he fights them off, then brings him to Yunmeng with him.

After that there are a few directions it might go, I have a general idea, but will decide when I get to writing more of it. I *do* have the first scene written, however :D

~~~

“So, are we all in agreement?”

“I wish there was another way-”

“There isn't, not if we want to preserve our sect's way of life.”

“I know. I just don't like it.”

“None of us do. We've all watched Nie-gongzi grow up under our noses. We don't bear him any ill will, but we've also seen him avoid saber training at every turn, watched him duck out of any and every responsibility, and since Nie Mingjue's death, he's been absolutely useless to anyone.”

“He's grieving.”

“Aren't we all? And yet there is still a sect to run, training to manage, trade deals to sign. How much longer can we wait for our sect to have a real leader in the Unclean Realm?”

“Have we figured out yet what we're going to do about Lanling, Gusu, and Yunmeng? The smaller sects will keep their opinions to themselves, but the larger ones...”

“I don't think Yunmeng will be an issue – Jiang-zongzhu's kept to himself since the Yiling Laozu's death, barely interacts with the other sects except when it comes to trade negotiations and cultivation conferences – and his nephew. Jin-zongzhu is taken care of – we have a man in Lanling that, the moment word arrives of Qinghe's change in leadership, will speak to him on our behalf.”

“But Lianfang-zun-”

“Has no influence over his father. As long as Lanling profits, Jin Guangshan won't care who's in charge.”

“And Zewu-Jun? He won't be appeased with money or trade promises.”

“Zewu-Jun folds when offered alcohol at a banquet, do you really think he has enough conviction to stand against us?”

“Nie Mingjue would hate us for what we're planning.”

“Nie Mingjue is <i>gone</i>, as is his father, and every other leader we've had. How many have we lost in the last twenty, thirty years? We go through leaders like Jin-zongzhu goes through whores. Maybe replacing the main line will help us actually keep a sect leader alive for more than a decade.”

“So... we're really going to do this.”

“Does anyone have any doubts left? We can't afford to hesitate. The moment we start this, there's no going back.”

“I'm in – for Qinghe Nie.”

“As am I.”

“My brother and I are both on board.”

“I'm in, but my sister won't like this one bit.”

“Well, if our assassin does their job right, it won't be traced to us. Your sister and any other loyalists will be none the wiser.”

“And if the assassin fails?”

“Then we lock down the Unclean Realm until we've established order and a new sect leader emerges.”

“May whoever of us is strongest earn victory over the rest, and may Qinghe prosper under their leadership.”

“Either way, when Nie Huaisang leaves this fortress tomorrow, he won't be coming back...”

~*~*~*~

#sangcheng #my wips #coup in qinghe

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bubblegumsunshine333 · 3 months

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Honestly, the main issue I have with the enshittification of social media is that it accelerates the epidemic of people ignoring the fact that there are real human beings on the other side of the screen. Previously-social corners on the internet become these faceless corporate places where people mistreat other users by dealing with them with the same lack of respect they would have for NPCs or chat bots. The internet used to feel like a series of clubs or casual hangouts, and now it's unrecognizable. (You can't even Google shit anymore, it's literally such a husk of what it was even just 5 years ago...)

Lately, just about any platform but tumblr really hurts. It hit me earlier today, when I checked my reddit notifications for the first time in a year--something I've avoided more and more over time. I remembered how even though people can be really lovely and nice and helpful, so many people just want to send hate to every other user they see, EVER. All of the music production subs I follow (which have tons of people getting into music for the first time) are methodically downvoted into the negatives for no reason, even when all the comments are kind. Often, though, half the comments are just trolls, and it's so out of hand that even nicer areas of the site are overrun unless they're super big with tons of active mods. There's just so much hate there.

And strangely so, with YouTube, there's so much fascist bs recommended to me even though I always click "Don't recommend this channel" about 20 times a day now, and my algorithm was (luckily) devoid of all that shit for years. And yes, I've cleared my YouTube history and data using the (somewhat secret) Google feature that makes it so old stuff you saw has no affect on your algorithm, so I know that it's not because I watched boxxy once a decade ago (Isn't it so odd how the weirdest microcelebrities turn into right wing grifters?). It just hurts emotionally to go anywhere except tumblr anymore, or directly to one of your favorite YouTuber's channels.

Loosely related: Strangely enough, on reddit I post and comment MINIMALLY yet I have super high karma. No matter what I write, no matter how simple it is, or how few people use that sub, it gets an inordinate amount of attention. I'm not even internet humblebragging, I literally couldn't give a shit less about reddit karma. It'd be like if every day of my life I found a penny face-up in a parking lot. Mildly interesting and unlikely, but I can't really do anything useful with this odd and random sort of luck I seem to carry???

I can write the silliest thought that comes to mind in a random comment section just as a cheerful joke or similar, and people eat it up. I get reply after reply from other people joining in on the fun, or looking to share info or life experiences, yet 1 in 10 people is devoutly trying to spread hate. It just bums me the fuck out. Imagine how shit real life would be if every few people you bumped into was trying to verbally abuse you. It just about sums up most social media sites nowadays though.

#social media

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mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea · 2 years

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Tarot and Rune Readings

Let me preface this by saying that the job hunt is a lousy and stressful thing, leading to many sleepless nights and nauseated and crying mornings. I put out at least 10-15 applications a day, and with a BA in English and MFA in Creative Writing, I should've had non-scam bites by employers by now. This has been going on for months. I wanted to move to NC this year and get the hell out of Texas, which is becoming more and more dangerous to live in by the day. I never know when I leave my house if I'm going to be shot for being bisexual, genderfluid, pagan, a uterus owner, wearing a mask in a world that isn't done with the pandemic yet (despite what anyone says), or just for existing in a space that a cis white straight conservative Christian man (or woman) is in where they just don't like my face that day. The lack of a job and incoming funds has made my sister, with whom I live and hoped to move to NC with before the end of the year, hesitant to move because it will be expensive to move across country, find a place, and live without it, but the jobs are just not coming, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm terrified of what will happen if we stay here.

I've got 30 years experience in reading Tarot and probably roughly 20 reading runes. I also have 22 years using psychometry, which comes in the form of symbols and ideas that mean something to the owner of the object. I've been doing dream interpretation even back into my teens (I'm almost 50 now, if that helps). I've worked dozens of psychic fairs when I still lived in South Texas and there was a shop there that held them four or five times a year. I'm good at what I do, and I'm prompt at getting back to someone who requests and pays for a reading. Only if I'm away from my computer on errands am I just not available at that moment but will make myself available as soon as I can.

I'm not going to lie. I need to get some financial security under me so that I can pay my bills, help cover rent, groceries, and to push for the move out of the rapidly growing more dangerous state that I live in. I'm willing to work for the money, and I'm not going to give half-assed replies to questions. I've got PayPal and Venmo and a selection of Tarot and Divination Cards to choose from as well as runes. If you're interested, I sure would like to talk and pull cards for you - in helping you, you'd be helping me, and it would be a great cycle of exchanged energy that would make things positive for the both of us.

My prices are:

$30 for 3-5 tarot cards

$50 for a full spread, 30 minute reading

$75 for for full spread, 1 hour readings

$25 Dream Interpretation

$35 Rune reading

Readings done online over IM chat (I have FB Messenger and Discord and can be persuaded to get back on Skype if preferred). I'm still learning Zoom but can probably work that out as well. I will provide a write up and photo of the reading, with the exception of Dream Interpretation, which will just have a write-up. Payment up front and readings to follow immediately.

I have also set up a secondary Tumblr for tarot/dreams where I may compile interesting topics from time to time as life permits. Please feel free to follow this blog, too, and messaging me there will also message me on my main Tumblr.

Mimir's Well.

Message me on Tumblr for further communication.

Thank you!

#Tarot #Runes #Divination #Dream interpretation #psychometry #Help a sibling out #Help a sibling escape a hell-state

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windvexer · 2 years

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hi chicken, i'm an experienced tarot reader, but this is something i would really appreciate your help with, as i've never had a reading quite like this, and i've had a lot of weird or distinctive spreads in the past.

basically i've just done my monthly spread for July. there are ten questions i ask- (self at the beginning of the month, theme of the month, self at the end of the month, main goal, main obstacle , main accomplishment, what to avoid, what to embrace, where to get support, and advice) as well as three key cards for any major events. This is a spread that's worked for me well for a while now, even if some months it's less helpful than others.

relevant info- been having a hard time for a long time, don't want to get into it too much, but part of it is that i'm at the point where almost all of my relationships are not at all satisfying to me and aren't fulfilling any of my needs. this life "plot point"has been brewing for years despite my attempts to fix it. anyway, i'm at my breaking point. for reference i'm the 🌀anon who asked about energy work a while ago and got identified as an energy sun by @thespellweavingspirit .

so i've just done my july spread, and every single card minus one of my spread was reversed. Unusual- and if all the cards I pull are reversals I either flip them upright or re-draw, except for when there's an upright in there, because it's always meant that the reversals are on purpose, even if there are too many. This is the most I've ever gotten any reversals, it's kind of confounding. Said upright card was the "main obstacle" card, which was Judgement. Everything else is a mix of pentacles, cups, swords, wands, and another two major arcana. in case it's important, in order- (self beginning of month = ten of pentacles rx, theme page of wands rx, end of month three of pentacles rx, main goal three of cups rx, - , main accomplishment ten of cups rx, what to avoid queen of cups rx, what to embrace three of swords rx, where to find support knight of pentacles rx, advice the hanged man rx, major events are the empress rx , ten of wands rx, and five of cups rx). i shuffle my cards intensely before I start, and shuffle between each card pull, so i'm not pulling from a clump of cards that all happen to be reversed. I'm honestly feeling frustrated and was hoping you had any insight on spreads that turn out like this. I can see an emphasis on relationships within the spread as well as roles i play, but it's hard to make sense of all of this, which is unusual.

thank you for your time if you choose to respond and i hope this ask wasn't annoying in any way🌀

Sometimes, when spreads come out all weird and jumbled, I take it to be "we've run out of ways to tell you what's going to happen so here's a bunch of omens at once, good luck."

Your spread, however, I think can be analyzed on a deeper level.

Without the exact spread arrangement this kind of analysis won't be super accurate, but I'm going to share it anyway because it might be helpful to spark ideas in your own interpretation:

When doing advanced analysis, you can break the spread down into chunks and view each chunk on its own before blending them together in a whole. Same concept as reading a sentence before reading a paragraph.

The exact meanings don't necessarily have to be brought up. I leave it to you to fill in the details based on what system of meanings you are using.

One again, since I don't know how you actually laid out your spread, this is just an example of a way to look at it (even if they were all cards laid out in a single line they can still be broken up, etc).

Let's start with 10/Pentacles (R) [beginning of month], Page/Wands (R) [theme of month], and 3/Pentacles (R) [end of month].

We start out with the highest # earth card and there is a steep downturn to a low # earth card. Essentially, whatever is had will be reduced or lost. The page in the middle can show us details as to why.

In the way that I read, minor arcana tend to be events while courts tend to be agents, identities, or behaviors.

Normally, the fiery Page shouldn't have an issue with the earthy Pentacles. But we know something bad has to happen due to the Page's presence, because we're ending up much lower than where we started.

One way we can interpret this is that because of the Page's actions (or inaction), the earthy, Pentacles part of your life is going to "reset" down to basics.

When looking for what meanings to apply to each card, we are probably going to want to look for the more fiery and active meanings for each earth card, and the more grounded and earthy meanings for the Page (as they all bleed into each other).

Moving on to the 3/Cups (R) [main goal], 10/Cups (R) [main accomplishment], and Queen/Cups (R) [what to avoid].

Note that in the first triad, you started with a 10 and ended with a 3. Here, the spread is telling you that your main goal is a 3, but you're going to accomplish a 10.

All these cards are watery. It's intense but not necessarily bad. Consider that because the 3 and the 10 are both Cups, and the Queen of Cups can be interpreted as the advisor and guide of that suite, you may be receiving advice to not try and master or control this situation.

In other words, perhaps trying to take control of this situation and resolve it to your own satisfaction is only prolonging an inevitable process of change.

We can also note that the Queen is your highest-ranking court card (no kings on the spread). Not only this but Water cards outweigh every other element. We can surmise that the Queen of Cups has a great deal of authority - and perhaps, trying to wield her authority to achieve the watery 10 when you should be going for the 3 is the wrong choice.

(Using this same type of analysis, the Knight has less authority than the Queen, but more than the Page - the Page being the lowest-ranking, and having only one other fire card in the spread to manage.)

Still within this triad, we see an escalation. The low-# 3 jumps up to a 10, and then a Queen. This shows a growing intensity in this emotional, watery, symbolic triad (whereas in the earthy physical reality triad above, we saw a decrease due to a fiery intrusion).

When choosing the meanings for each cards, the most intensely watery meaings are likely the most appropriate (as opposed to meanings better assigned to a different element).

Now looking at the 3/Swords (R) [what to embrace], Knight/Pentacles (R) [where to find support], and Hanged Man (R) [advice].

Again, we see a pattern of 3s: end up with a 3, your main goal is a 3, embrace a 3. A numerological investigation into the number 3 might be of great assistance to you at this time (especially consider its connotations of new growth and rebuilding).

Here we have the first elemental clash. The airy 3/Swords doesn't get along well with the earthy Knight/Pentacles. Here, the Knight has a lot more power than the small 3, but the elements are oppositional - the Knight has no real authority over it. Then we arrive at the Hanged Man, which like a Knight is also a #12 card in its series.

We're about to jump into analysis, but let's plug in one more thing first. The three of swords is the only air card you have in this entire spread. It's the only suit without a Court ruler to step in and influence things.

We might consider here that given the mental associations of air, you must embrace processing the loss that will arrive - and do so with the support of the Knight who will take you there.

The Knight of Pentacles is ruling over the same suit that is telling you how your month will start and end. You are told to avoid the queen of cups, the suit that takes from the goal of 3 to the actual accomplishment of the 10 - and you are told to get support from the Knight of Pentacles, the suit that takes you from the current 10 to the ending of 3.

I see a strong implication based on this analysis (again, an example analysis since I don't now how your real spread actually looked) that the 3s appear to be important and beneficial, while the 10s appear to be something you should move away from.

Lastly in this triad, we can see that the Hanged Man is a watery card. Given that the all-cups triad appears to be something to avoid, we might consider that the Hanged Man is encouraging reflection on how you think about your entire relationship situation - that you might be having things upside-down.

Three cards indicating major events: Empress (R), 10/Wands (R), 5/Cups (R)

As you well know, Anon, the Empress is the #3 card of her series. This gives her a very strong link to the earthy 3/Pentacles (R).

Here we have the second and final elemental clash: fire flows into water.

Imagining a number graph, we start at 3, jump up to 10, and middle out with a 5 at the end. Although the earthy Empress and fiery 10 are usually friends, we know something is wrong here because the series is terminated by a watery card that clashes with fire.

Therefore, we are free to look towards the more burdensome and oppressive meanings of the 10 of Wands.

We can also reflect on the strong association between 3s and 10s in this spread.

Well, enough has been meandered on. Using all of the information and analysis above, we might come out to something like the following interpretations (again, spitballing as I don't know what system of meanings you're using):

[Empress/10 Wands/5 Cups] A big event: The part of you that wants to care for and nurture relationships is going to run into an intensely burdensome situation which will result in emotional burnout and the feeling of loss.

[10 Pentacles/Page Wands/3 Pentacles] Beginning, Theme, End: The part of your life that wants to uphold and maintain your personal "tribe" is going to experience a fiery intrusion or filtration that requires you to reduce and return to a student's mindset of beginning and rebuilding.

[note the strong similarities between these 2 triads!]

[3 Cups/10 Cups/Queen Cups] Goal, accomplishment, what to avoid: While your primary goal is to return to a reduced and simplified place, you will actually still choose the unwieldy, burdensome 10; the Queen is unwilling (or perhaps unable) to make any other choice, so she should be avoided.

[3/Swords/Knight Pentacles/Hanged Man]: Embrace, support, advice: Embrace the rational reality of loss in this situation, and rely on responsible, practical behaviors to help guide you to your goal. It will help if you are able to view this situation in an entirely new light.

This has gotten far too long, so just a last few words:

Here are some of my personal notes for the Judgement card:

Upright. Generally. Resolution or final determination of a matter. The end of things. Mundane. The ending of the matter is soon at hand. It is necessary for you to make a decision, one way or another. You should judge the situation for yourself. You are at a crossroads; things will go one way or the other.

As far as reversals go, we might make any number of assumptions. My initial assumption was that you are being yelled at, and this was the best way to tell you Something Is Up without having you discard the spread due to too many reversals.

An abundance of reversals might be your own refusal or inability to see certain aspects of this situation.

I often read reversals as "you don't or can't believe this right now."

It might be a way of saying that while many of the cards (and the elemental portents themselves) are just fine (actually, great portents for the whole spread elementally speaking), the whole thing is going to end up kind of sucking anyway.

Keep an eye out for when your own willpower rears its head and chooses to Make A Decision. This would appear to be related to the Page of Wands and the 10 of Wands; both are immense catalysts of change in this spread.

Hope this helps, Anon. best of luck.

#answered #tarot analysis

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meta-squash · 1 year

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Hi,

My question is about:

"(Side note: I’ve always wanted to know if Kieren was at all self-aware of being in Rick’s shoes re: Simon’s feelings for him at the start.)"

From here: https://at.tumblr.com/meta-squash/700782648530960384/s4niw2ty3nn4

First of all - sorry for my 💩 english. I'm trying my best. =_="

Squash, what do you mean there👆? O_O" Could you expand please? (eyes of the cat from "Shrek" here)

For me (ok, but i'm not the best people reader - meh - that's why i need kilometers of meta-analysis) relation Rick -> Kieren was like "i like you, but cannot show my feelings, or even think about sth more bc of my abusive dad" but Kieren -> Simon (initially) was more like "i'm intrested but a) i'm not worth of being liked, b) you are part of f*** ULA that kills people". I couldn't put an equal sign there. Do i think wrong?

You are doing great job btw - thx for that.

First of all, your English is great! English is my only language, so you're already miles ahead of me!

What I meant by Kieren being in Rick's shoes at the start re: Simon's feelings for him is that when Kieren was with Rick, his feelings for Rick were more intense than Rick's feelings for him. They were probably had an equal amount of love for each other, but Kieren put all his stake in it, let it consume him, and it seems as though it was the only positive thing in his life outside of maybe art itself. Rick probably loved Kieren a lot, but aside from having to hide from Bill, he actually had a life and friends outside of Kieren, was accepted into the fold of the main social groups, which Kieren was not. Which means he had other positive things in his life that he could spread his attention across and that could take up emotional space. Kieren had only Rick for that (and I think Jem; it seems they were very close until he died). Kieren's feelings for Rick were really intense, tunnel-visioned, while Rick's for him were a bit more subdued, and Kieren couldn't see beyond them into any future without him, whereas I think Rick was kind of forced to see any number of potential futures without Kieren, just because of the nature of his relationship with his family/the town/life in general. So Kieren had nothing else so when Rick was taken from him, there was nothing positive left that he could see, and he killed himself. I don't think he directly or consciously blamed Rick, but during the "you died and everything turned to shit" conversation in the car, Rick calls it out for what it was, that Kieren essentially died for him, despite having an actual future in sight.

Kieren is in Rick's shoes re: Simon because at the start of series 2, it's Simon who's tunnel-visioned onto Kieren. Because Simon's whole life since leaving his father's house has been his discipleship, the ULA, proselytizing and suddenly he's stopped short by Kieren who calls bullshit and makes him think and fascinates and attracts him. After the thing with Freddie Preston, Kieren goes straight to Simon since he's the only person who will understand his feelings at that point. Once Kieren shows that he's warmed up to Simon and sees him as a point of support/comfort rather than a threat (except when he's in Disciple Mode like the conversation in the kitchen), he's basically the only positive thing in Simon's life that isn't directly related to the ULA. Kieren's still wary, for one, but he's also kind of where Rick was socially; he has Amy and his family and even without Simon has to some extent gained a feeling of value and confidence in himself, while Simon has only Kieren in terms of romantic attraction or those kinds of feelings. The ULA isn't a person, it's a concept, and he can't feel for that what he can feel for another person. So his feelings for Kieren are more intense than Kieren's for him, and it's obvious in his eagerness to go fast, to sneak around right under Amy's nose, to do something as humiliating to his own sense of self as go to dinner at the Walkers' with all that cover-up on, etc. This time it's Kieren who is more subdued and Simon who's emotionally tunnel-visioned in a way that he is willing to die for Kieren (jumping in front of Pearl's bullet and potentially Jem's who has better aim but more hesitation) because the idea of Kieren being taken away from him is terrifying.

So yeah, that's my long-winded way of saying Kieren's feelings for Rick were more intense and singularly focused than Rick who was able to kind of have other relationships and envision other futures. Simon is in a similar boat in that his feelings for Kieren are more intense and singularly focused (even before he thinks Kieren is the First Risen) because Kieren is his only positive non-ULA related relationship where he's just expected to be "a normal person," whereas Kieren is more subdued and able to have other relationships.

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