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apocalypticvalraven · 15 days

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Delicious in Dungeon in The Kitchen

So... I was struck by the thought that I kinda wish some food nerd would go through the Dungeon Meshi dishes and analyze them and sort of give a "this is the real world thing they're making" run down.

And then I realized I'm a food nerd that can do research.

So.

We're gonna try this out, starting with Volume 1. I don't promise that I know everything about cooking. I don't promise I'll always be able to make the thing I'm looking at (I am broke, and I don't have my own kitchen). But I can at least look at a dish and figure out what they're doing and how to replicate it, at least sorta.

Dungeon Meshi Volume 1-- Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot

The two main components of this dish are the Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom.

Walking Mushroom

Looking at the images in the manga, Walking Mushroom seems to just... be a mushroom that can walk around. There are no organs, the interior seems pretty uniform in substance...

Like, literally, that's exactly what sliced mushrooms look like. Senshi cuts the mushroom into ~4" strips (judging by their size next to the small cabbage-like vegetable, and comparing those plants to his hand in the image of him gathering them. I am assuming dwarf hands are roughly the same size as human hands).

There's a variety of edible mushroom that is probably as close as we're going to get to the size of a Walking Mushroom, growing a cap up to 3' wide, but it seems to only grow in termite mounds in a very specific part of the African continent (please forgive my USAmerican, White education leading me to not being able to identify the specific region), so... if you can get that at all, it's probably crazy expensive (as it should be, unless you're literally getting it from the mounds or local markets yourself). Portobello or similar large culinary mushrooms are probably just fine. The Mushroom Feet are literally just mushrooms, so no worries there.

Huge Scorpion

Ok, so... there is a difference between arachnids and crustaceans. As a start, arachnids have book lungs and crustaceans have gills. Arachnid guts are different from crustacean guts, just because of environment. Hell, crustacean limbs grow differently from arachnid limbs.

That said, everything I see in Dungeon Meshi implies that, from a culinary standpoint, Huge Scorpion is a crustacean-

So, really, it's just a big lobster. Take a lobster, cut off its legs, antennae, and the tail fluke, and you're going to see something that looks pretty similar to the huge scorpion in Dungeon Meshi.

Seaweed

Next is seaweed, which... is just a thing, but also kind of an imprecise term, I think. Basically, "seaweed" just refers to any marine algae that is multicellular and macroscopic (big enough to see). Arctic Moss seems to be a real thing which refers to a couple things- the aquatic moss Calliergon giganteum and the terrestrial lichen in the genus of Cladonia, which includes Reindeer Lichen.

Reindeer lichen is edible, in a number of ways, but it's also not seaweed. So we look at Calliergon giganteum. I cannot get an answer as to whether this particular variety of moss is edible. So... fuck it, say Senshi used Reindeer Lichen, at least we know that's edible.

"Star Jelly" is... I don't know. The main result I find when googling it is that it's the sort of general term for various slimes that show up on lawns and other vegetation, etc. Which means it could be anything from amphibian spawning jelly to who the fuck knows what.

However, one thing it could be is a cyanobacteria known as Fat Choy, a commonly used "vegetable" in Chinese Cuisine:

Looks like jelly? Yep. Looks weird enough that you might imagine it comes from a star? Yep. Edible? Yes!

(I mean, maybe don't eat a ton of it, or get it from irreputable sources. At least some Fat Choy contains a toxic amino acid which may or may not have negative health effects, but I'm not a doctor, so all I'm saying is "be aware of this." It's an expensive delicacy, which means that it is a particularly lucrative target for counterfeiters, and China does not have strong, or strongly enforced, food safety laws).

The Hard Stuff

So that leaves "Invertatoes" and "Dried Slime."

Neither of which seem to have a good direct analogue to the real world. Well... sorta.

Invertatoes seems to refer to the plants. The name calls to mind potatoes, and potatoes do indeed grow in the ground and are starchy. It's probably fair to just use any kind of starchy tuber as the "invertatoes." Maybe cassava, since those are large enough that it's at least somewhat believable that "Fantasy Land Cassava" could look like that (although that doesn't fit the "these are normal plants that grow upside down" unless we're being really generous).

The problem is that it's sort of implied that the cabbage-like vegetable seen in the hot pot comes from the same plant, and everything from a potato plant other than the potato itself is toxic. They also don't look like that.

I literally don't know what those cabbage/lettuce-like leafy vegetables are. They're not seaweed, because the two varieties called out definitely don't look like that. They're not, so far as I can tell, the greens of any kind of starchy tuber--

EXCEPT.

So, I was taking one last look at tubers to see if I could find something that seemed to match, and I think Invertatoes could be likened to something similar to chicory. Particularly endives. I never knew endives were related to chicory (ie, "that thing that I'm aware is popular as a coffee substitute in the South, but I don't have much desire to try it, and I wonder if it even has caffeine..."), but, apparently, yeah. Endives are a member of the chicory genus.

So, yeah, lets say that Invertatoes are a sort of fantasy plant similar to the various members of the chicory genus. The trunk can be replicated with chicory root, and the leaves with endives.

That leaves Dried Slime. Dried Slime makes up the noodles in the hot pot, which implies that the noodles are gelatinous, and probably low in gluten. Senshi's explanation of the slime makes me want to think of it as a macro-unicellular lifeform, but... I'm not sure that's accurate.

While it's definitely not an accurate way to describe a jellyfish, I could definitely see a non-biologist describing jellyfish in a way similar to the way Senshi describes the slime. I could also see some fantasy terrestrial jellyfish thing hunting in a similar manner to the slime. Moreover, there are edible varieties of jellyfish, and they're processed in a manner very similar to what Senshi describes for processing slimes. And one way of preparing edible jellyfish is to thinly slice it into noodles.

Hot Pots

I... think this is using a very specifically Japanese sense of "hot pot" (which makes sense), because in Japan, hot pot can refer to a dish called nabemono, while in general, hot pot refers to a particular kind of dining in China where you get a pot full of boiling stock/broth and a bunch of raw ingredients, and you put the stuff you want into the broth at the table. Nabemono is more of "put a bunch of stuff in a pot, and cook it. Serve it boiling." Which is to say, it's soup.

Senshi puts the scorpion meat and mushroom into a pot on its own, and lets it start boiling-

Then, while it's boiling, he goes and finds other ingredients, coming back with the invertatoes and the slime. The two are prepared simply-

Seasoning isn't included in the ingredients, but I can understand this as a choice for presentation. We do see Senshi add something to the broth after tasting it, and I think it's fair to assume it's one of soy sauce, mirin, fish sauce, or similar. I think it's actually really interesting that we see Senshi add seasoning, but we're not told what it is-

Because... that's cooking. You can follow a recipe, but ultimately, you need to taste your cooking and make your own decisions. Senshi lets the soup cook, tastes the broth, decides it needs something, and gives it a bit of time to let the flavors meld before serving it up.

Dungeon Meshi Lobster and Mushroom Hot Pot

So, we're looking at something like this for the "Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot"--

Lobster- ~5 lbs or more (a 1 lb lobster yields about 4 oz of actual meat, which is a single serving), cut into large slices

Portobello- 2 mushrooms large diced, 2 left whole with the caps scored

Reindeer Lichen and Fat Choy- to taste

Chicory Roots- ~1 cup, diced

Endive greens- ~2 cups

Jellyfish, thin sliced- as much as you like

Add lobster and mushrooms to water, and allow to boil. While it comes to a boil, prepare the other ingredients, then add to the water. Let the soup come to a full boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes to an hour (can simmer longer, but this will affect the texture of the ingredients. Longer simmering will result in more melding of flavors, but also degraded solid parts).

Taste the broth. It will likely need salt and acid, which could come in a variety of forms, such as kosher salt and lemon juice, soy sauce and mirin/rice vinegar, oyster/fish sauce, or something else. Go with your gut and your taste buds..

#Dungeon Meshi #Defictionalization #Cooking #Food #Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot #Lobster and Portobello Hot Pot #This actually isn't really my thing due to the mushrooms but hell #Cashapp: $ValravenApocalypse #Paypal.me/Korbl #Ko-fi.com/valravenapocalypse #If this gets 100 notes and people like it I'll do the carnivorous plant fruit tart #Delicious in Dungeon

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blackstarising · 2 years

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stardate ? | a lightyear fanmix slash character study

01. starman david bowie 02. oh no! marina 03. dreams and disasters owl city 04. shelter porter robinson + madeon 05. rat a tat fall out boy + courtney love 06. my body's made of crushed little stars mitski 07. unfold porter robinson + totally enormous extinct dinosaurs 08. pompeii bastille 09. running up that hill (a deal with god) kate bush 10. dream state son lux 11. someday onerepublic 12. time hans zimmer 13. centuries fall out boy 14. little lion man mumford & sons 15. icarus bastille 16. look at the sky porter robinson 17. children of planet earth melodysheep 18. if we'll ever be remembered martin garrix + shaun farrugia 19. home madeon 20. scribble puppet + eden project 21. ghosts mako 22. sad machine porter robinson 23. it's alright mother mother 24. little talks of monsters and men 25. everything goes on porter robinson

#gingerisaspice has a great defictionalized period accurate fanmix y'all should also check out!#lightyear #lightyear 2022 #buzz lightyear #'why is this playlist like 80% porter/owl city?' because it is so be QUIET #after that oh no! post i started grrr bark barking more #actually i already have a lightyear playlist but that's more shippy and much less directed so i made a new one

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tathracyn · 1 year

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Aight I just finished the journal (got my impatient hands on a copy) and, assuming you're talking about the possible reunion, the ending really is scream-worthy lmao

I know O_O

#amphibia #They really just wait until the literal last page to drop that on us #'hey! maybe they manage to go back! have fun with that!'#which. thats fine it gives us the freedom to run away with it #but fuck if it's not the biggest tease ever #I want my own copy so bad #Defictionalized character journals my beloved #journal 3 and now this I love them all

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faline-cat444 · 7 months

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Guess the next thing people are going to want defictionalized is a mini Hambo to hang on their vehicle's rearview mirror or similar

Also now learned this patchy thing will be the first result from typing in "Hambo" in the search engine

#Adventure Time #Fionna and Cake #Prince Gumball #Gary Prince #Gary Gumball #Marshall Lee

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ilovethetalkingclock · 1 month

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You know I should probably get back to working on Nightmarish again-

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⚡scrap-sews Follow

I’m taking creation requests!

Will do:

Original creations

Defictionalizations

If you want your requested creation mailed to you, DM me! Otherwise I promise I’ll treat them better than my dad treated me-

🧛‍♀️ countessgaymes Follow

hey

⚡scrap-sews Follow

Alcina I do not care that we’re friends I am not fucking doing that.

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🤕 mummy-friend Follow

@cooking-from-the-black-lagoon I know you took one of my jars.

You better not be doing what I think you’re doing.

🐟 cooking-from-the-black-lagoon Follow

…i apologize. Canopic Casserole was a disaster anyway.

🤕mummy-friend Follow

There is a hoard of locusts in your fridge.

🐟cooking-from-the-black-lagoon Follow

A-

50,300 notes

🐺 lulus-garden Follow

Gonna eat an entire tray of wolfsbane brownies lmao

🐺lulus-garden Follow

t h i s w a s a m i s t a k e

🐍 medusastonedmoments Follow

yep. reminds me of my first time with pot brownies.

679 notes

☯ shaduostudiesnshitposts Follow

Luna worries me sometimes.

☯ shaduostudiesnshitposts Follow

Oh wait, I made those brownies for them. They’ll be fiiine.

20,000 notes

🧟‍♀️ waffulz-raveyard Follow

oh fuck i think my heart stopped working

🧟‍♀️waffulz-raveyard Follow

oops false alarm it never was ^~^’

🧟‍♀️waffulz-raveyard Follow

plz stop rbing this

#nightmarish #fake posts #fake post #monsterblr #tomblr #unreality tw #monsters #frankenstein #dracula #mummy #creature from the black lagoon #werewolf #medusa #jekyll and hyde #zombie

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aziraphales-library · 2 years

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Have you got any fics where Crowley has hanahaki disease through the centuries?

Here are some fics in which Crowley has hanahaki disease...

Holy Hanahaki by Silverdragonwolveshowl (NR)

Demons aren't allowed to love. When they do, they are punished. Fortunately, no demon is dumb enough to- wait, what's that one doing? OR Crowley has Hanahaki disease, but instead of flowers, he throws up holy water. And keeps it secret for 6,000 years.

You Take My Breath Away by PenroseSun (T)

In an attempt to cope with a case of frustratingly unrequited love, Crowley gives himself a chronic case of hanahaki. Unfortunately, it turns out that defictionalizing a very tangible literary devise is a really bad strategy if you also want to hide said feelings, especially if the object of your affection is a certain bookish and extremely observant angel.

Until the Last Petal Falls by Iwouldwrite1000fics (G)

Crowley is a demon. It’s in his job description to tempt people to things they shouldn’t want. When a demon is tempted to something they shouldn’t want though there are severe consequences.

Lips Like Petals, Unfurling From A Bud by MissMoochy (M)

Crowley knows Aziraphale will never reciprocate his love. For so long, he's been content to merely be the angel's friend. But when Crowley develops the love sickness, Hanahaki Disease, he knows his love for Aziraphale will kill him.

flowers growing in my lungs; blooms rattling with every breath by galaxiay (NR)

hanahaki disease • 花吐き病 an illness born from unrequited love, suffer's lungs fill with flowers and they proceed to cough up petals. as the illness progresses, they cough up blood and flowers. without surgery to remove the feelings or their love returned, the victim if fated to suffocate and die.

Crowley is a demon and demons aren't meant to love. He makes the mistake of doing just that and suffers the consequences.

Somebody to Love by Bookwormgal (T)

Everyone knows that demons can’t feel love. It was one of those well-established facts that no one even bothered to doubt anymore. The sky is blue, the Ineffable Plan was beyond comprehension or understanding, angels do not question or doubt Her commands, and demons can’t love. Angels could sense love and none of them ever sensed love in the presence of demons. Everyone considered that to be conclusive evidence and moved on. Believing otherwise was foolish and a waste of time.

But while it was considered an unquestionable fact of the universe, it wasn’t quite accurate. Demons were perfectly capable of feeling love. Any form of love. Despite common knowledge and despite the fact that the Fall ensured that they could no longer sense Her love, demons can experience love.

What demons can’t do, however, is feel love and survive.

Mind the tags on those last two!

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #hanahaki disease #unrequited love #not actually unrequited love #graphic depictions of violence #mod d

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probablyevilrpgideas · 1 year

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Whenever D&D gets into morality in any depth, it's just straight up fucked.

Ok, maybe this is peculiar to 3.X, but I very much doubt it

Back in 3.X, the Book of Vile Darkness was published, defictionalizing the title of the magical artifact from the game to provide a sourcebook of THE EEEEVILIST MATERIAL. It was specifically marked as a book for mature audiences, and supposedly was specifically about truly reprehensible evil stuff for the game.

It was followed up (after the edition revision) by The Book of Exalted Deeds. It was supposedly about the greatest good things, but likewise marked as being for Mature Audiences (I think that was more about making align with the BoVD and giving the artists some leniency to show boob).

Both books discuss morality in straight up completely fucked "I know this person is going to kill someone, so killing them first without provocation is good/I didn't do anything to stop this random natural act from killing someone even though I could have, clearly I am evil" type stuff. Additionally, it painted such things as extreme body modification, sadomasochism, alcholism/drug addiction, and xenophilia (in terms of necrophilia and bestiality but making no distinction between actual necrophilia and having sex with a consenting undead or actual bestiality and having sex with a dragon) as "(...) horrible traits common to the evil and perverse."

But while that's all fucking bad, it's really apparent in a pair of spells-

One traps the target's soul in a diamond for a year and destroys their body, where the target is forced to confront their past deeds and, if the spell successfully runs its course, forcibly changes the target's alignment to that of the caster.

The other allows you to enter the mind of the target and alter their memories, emotions, opinions and alignment in any way you choose. When done, you can subject the target to essentially a permanent Insanity spell effect, or leave no trace. The duration is instanteous and the casting time is 1 standard action.

The first spell is called "Sanctify the Wicked" and it's a Sanctified spell (requiring a sacrifice from the caster, in this case, 1 character level) from Book of Exalted Deeds. The second spell is called "Mindrape" and it is an Evil, but not Corrupt (basically the same idea as Sanctified, but Corrupt spells came first) spell.

So... imprisoning and emotionally torturing them for a year to forcibly change their alignment to yours is S+++ GOOD, but immediately and painlessly altering someone's thoughts (which could be used to consensually erase traumatic memories!) is so evil that the spell name likens it to arguably one of the most heinous things a person can do.

COOL WOTC. VERY FUCKING COOL. (/s)

This also carries into non-spell stuff. Poison use has always been defined as evil in D&D, even if you're using something basically harmless like Drow Poison (which just knocks the target unconscious for 2-4 hours). Unless, of course, you're some heavenly flying snake (Couatls have a natural poison that does Strength damage. Which can kill a target.) Using diseases as weapons is likewise seen as evil, which is more understandable.

To quote the BoED-

Poison and disease are generally the tools of evil monsters and characters, implements of corruption and destruction. If snakes and vermin are associated with evil, as they are in many cultures, it is usually because of their venom that they are viewed in such a negative light despite their neutral alignment. Using poison that deals ability damage is an evil act because it causes undue suffering in the process of incapacitating or killing an opponent. (The text does, at least, admit that Oil of Taggit and Drow Poison are not inherently evil to use, though it weirdly says that only Oil of Taggit is acceptable for good characters to use.)

So Book of Exalted Deeds felt the need to introduce Ravages and Afflictions. They're basically Holy Poisons and Diseases, respectively, only working on Evil targets and basically are fluffed as turning their evil on themselves, wracking them with pain and torment as a reflection of their depravity.

So, again. Torture and inflicting unnecessary suffering is EEEVIIIILLLL. Except when Good Guys do it to Evil Guys.

Now.... there is stuff I like in BoVD. The rules for sacrifices are amazing (mostly in an asymmetric power way) and there are some interesting items (like tongue studs that let you breath fire). But I like them *in spite* of the bullshit morals of these books.

#dungeons and dragons #dungeons & dragons #d&d #fantasy #rpgs #dnd #Morality #CW: mention of rape

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kcrossvine-art · 1 year

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AHOY MATEYS! Super unrelated question, would you be mad if i sneezed cutely in your ear? Today on the Final Redwall Cookbook cook-through we have a burrowers baked good delight- Nunnymolers!

It's been a long time coming and I don't wanna ramble up here, but y'alls support and interest in this series has meant the world to me. After this post goes up I'll be posting a poll where you guys can vote on the next series of dishes we're going to cover!

(back to the topic, you can find the original recipe for Nunnymolers at the bottom if you’d like to follow along)-

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to Nunnymolers?” YOU MIGHT ASK

All-purpose flour

Confectioners’ sugar

Unsalted butter, cubed

Strawberries

Raspberries

Honey

Raspberry OR strawberry jam

AND, “what does a Nunnymoler taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

Well, Unfortunately. It was raw in the center again, while the outside started burning. I tried making it again and the same issue occurred with a lower and longer cook time, unfortunately the idea came to me that my old oven may be uncalibrated to what the digital display says, but I can't afford don't have an oven-safe thermometer to double check.

...It smelled good though!

Sad and pathetically, he cries

.Dough required about 3 times amount of water to have any consistency .Dough still was too crumbly/hard to wrap around the berries

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Even with an extra 40 minutes beyond what the recipe called for, the tarts didn't cook all the way through- with raw dough in the center. This has been a consistent issue with the book, giving very low cook times and sometimes very high temperatures for the recipe. Part of me also wonders if the liquid from the fruit and jam contributed to the center not being able to bake.

I live at the same elevation as most of England does, where this was written from, which is part of my frustration with this cookbook. The author as far as i can tell is also the author of the bookseries themselves which is very sweet! But him not being a chef may contribute to some of the off measurements and under seasoning :( I can't blame him for this as its still very much a love letter to his fans but I do want to state it to give context.

My final thoughts on this book is that its an interesting piece to own, but on the scale of cookbooks from strict to loose, the recipes should be taken as loose suggestions. Conceptually I really admire that it adheres to vegetarian restrictions for almost all recipes (Legitimately i think the only exceptions to this are one instance of shrimp, and a handful of instances of eggs. Even then most baked goods make a point to avoid using eggs!), its a trait that makes it stand out from the growing crowd of other defictionalized recipes.

Not to mention all the cute story bits in-between the food itself, it follows Sister Pansy through 1 year in the Abbey, working her way to head chef. Various familiar faces share recipes with her (and us!). Each collection goes through the 4 seasons of the year, introduced by a poem.

This book holds a special place in my heart, I started it not being much of a cook and overtime it encouraged me to grow my abilities and interest in food. I cook most days of the week now and it can't be downplayed how much this book inspired that curiosity. It should also be said that half of that curiosity came from troubleshooting and adapting the recipes to my set-up, with times like these where I couldn't figure it out being the outliers that stick out.

It'd be a fantastic gift for any fan of the Redwall series, but if there excited about cooking and also new to it, I recommend making a hangout of it- cooking together! The moral support will make the failures more fun and easier to learn from.

I can't rate Nunnymolers as I wasn't able to taste them fully, but I can rate the Redwall Cookbook by Brian Jacques- and its squirreled into my heart. I'm giving it an 8/10 overall.

Concept: 10/10 Presentation: 10/10 Instruction: 4/10 Taste: 9/10

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

3 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter or margarine, cubed

1/2 strawberries, hulled

1/2 raspberries

Honey

Raspberry or strawberry jam

Method:

Preheat the oven to 350° F. In a bowl, whisk together the flour and confectioners’ sugar. Add the butter or margarine and rub it into the Hour with your fingers (alternately, pulse the dry ingredients and butter in a food processor) until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. Sprinkle in 3 to 4 tablespoons ice water, mixing with a fork (or pulsing in the food processor) until a dough forms.

Divide the dough into twelve 2-inch halls. Use your palm or a rolling pin to flatten each hall into a 5-inch round.

Spread each round with a thin layer of honey. Place 1 strawberry and I raspberry in the middle of each piece ofdough, then fold the edges of dough in toward the center, leaving a small opening in the middle, and pinch the folds of dough together. Put a dollop ofjam into the top of each Nunnymoler.

Bake until firm and golden, 20 to 25 minutes. Let cool on a wire rack before serving.

#cross cooks redwall #recipe review #baking #digital art

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balloonblowerthesecond · 6 months

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Obviously I have to include this "defictionalization" of the inflated Teddy cartoon while it's still relevant:

#male inflation #body inflation #ai artwork #mage.space #daddy bear #moustaches #bear icons #sdxl

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disneywizard · 1 year

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The Best Animated Series of 2022

2022. Another year of Animation has come and gone, and so it is now time to do the one thing that I do on this site: make my top 10 list. This year should be an interesting mix, since I am allowing myself to put adult animated shows on the list for the first time. But only if they are exceptional. While this definitely made making this list harder this year, due to more content, it wasn’t as bad a deluge as I feared.

Before we unveil the list, I also wanted to give a shout-out to the best thing that happened in 2022: the return of Gargoyles in comic form. From Dynamite Publishing, written by series creator Greg Weisman. Gargoyles is my favorite show of all time, it’s the reason I became enamored of Animation in the first place. So I highly encourage everyone to check the comics out, if you can.

And now for the list: Honorable Mentions: Green Eggs and Ham, Dragon Age Absolution, and Paranormal Park were all fantastic shows, I just thought that the following ten series were slightly better. But all three of these shows ALMOST made the list as I was working on it, so I thought they belonged here. And without further ado:

10) Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir

The French Action Adventure show about two superheroes in love with each other continues to go strong for it’s fourth and fifth seasons, which have included some of the best episodes of the show.

Available on: Netflix (S1-3) Disney+ (S4 & 5*)

9) Legend of Vox Machina

Man I wish someone would animate my D&D campaign.

Available on: Amazon Prime.

8) Kid Cosmic and the Global Heroes!

Craig McCracken’s amazing superhero show is the first one on this list that officially ended this year, and went out quite strong. I cried at the end of the series. Definitely worth a look.

Available on: Netflix

7) Tales of the Jedi

I’m not much of a Star Wars fan. It’s hard for me to even care outside of the Rebels series. But this anthology series was so good, I’d be remiss to exclude it from the list.

Available on: Disney+

6) The Dragon Prince: The Mystery of Aaravos

If I’m being honest, TDP was a bit weaker this season than previous showings. We’ve had a time skip and the characters are now all in different places, which made it a little harder to get back into a groove with them. But the story was still fantastic and I can’t wait to see how the next 4 seasons unfold.

5) The Owl House

Why are you not watching this show? You definitely SHOULD BE, it’s FANTASTIC. The top four-through-two shows on this list were, IMO all so good, it was impossible to objectively place them in any order, so I’m listing them by my favorites.

Available on: Disney+

4) Star Trek: Prodigy

This show taught me to love Star Trek again. Everything from the voice work, to the animation, to the story is an absolute treat. The easter eggs aren’t heavy handed, but will excite you trekkies when you see them, and the plot kept me fully excited and engaged all season long.

Available on: Paramount+

3) Amphibia

Another show we said goodbye to this year, the series finale had me in tears. I just love these characters so much. Everyone should watch this show, especially if they want something more from the property, and the defictionalized Marcy’s Journal hinted at some interesting future possibilities...

Available on: Disney+

2) Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous

Another show that we said goodbye to this year, Season 5 was an excellent close to the series, especially following the slightly weaker season 4. The epilogue hinted at the possibility for further hijinks with these characters, and I hope we get them. This is my favorite entry in a Movie Franchise that I already love.

Available on: Netflix

1) Young Justice Phantoms

WOO-HOO! It’s here! It’s finally here. I can finally actually put the show I actually thought was the best of the year on my actual list, instead of just being an “Honorable Mention” like in past years. This season was an incredible well written roller coaster of character and story arcs, that kept my attention and interest from beginning to end. I cannot emphasize how good this show. There was never any question where it was going to fall on my list, unlike the rest of the shows on here. It was always going to be #1 because it was the best. Watch it on HBOMAX while you still can, because given what has been happening over there lately, who who knows how long that will be.

Available on: HBOMAX, for now.

#Gargoyles #Young Justice Phantoms #jurassic world camp cretaceous #amphibia #star trek prodigy #the owl house #The Dragon Prince: The Mystery of Aaravos #Tales of the Jedi #Kid Cosmic #Legend of Vox Machina #miraculous ladybug

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apocalypticavolition · 9 months

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Let's (re)Read The Eye of the World! Chapter 17: Watchers and Hunters

People who haven't finished reading The Wheel of Time yet: See how that guy in the picture doesn't have eyes? That's how he's protecting himself from the spoilers in this post. How are you protecting yourself? Is it by leaving now while you still have the chance? Is it by blocking the tags so you can't even see this post? Whatever it is, don't blame me if it doesn't work. I gave you every chance to escape, which is more than the guy in the picture can say!

This chapter begins with another icon of the Dragon's Fang. Since Rand doesn't channel or do much particularly this chapter (he's POV as usual but that's just book 1 for you), it's probably about the Fade's trying to claim him for being the DR and the Whitecloaks' general atmosphere of suspicion, because - and I cannot emphasize this enough - they are not good people; the exact sort to mark doors with Dragon's Fangs if they thought it would hurt those they wanted hurt.

. . . To the eight corners of the world, the Hunters ride, to the eight pillars of heaven, where the winds of time blow and fate seizes the mighty and the small alike by the forelock.

Another reference to eight corners of the world, which I don't think come up much if ever after this, let alone in later books. Now we've got pillars of heaven, which imply that the western people of this day envision a flat world with a vaulted sky held up by immense supports at the boundary. This is rather intriguing, especially when you consider that virtually no other major cultural group at this point could have the same confusion: the Seanchan would know that the constellations are not constant over their empire, the Sea Folk would know that islands rise up out of the horizon as they sail, the Aiel have time differences figured out because of T'A'R, and the Sharans have the stability to have figured it out the Eratosthenes fashion. I also wonder when exactly they did lose the knowledge and how absolute it is - do the Aes Sedai and others with access to ancient libraries know the truth and just don't bother to correct the commonfolk?

The three young men from Emond’s Field began clapping their hands with the first note of “The Wind That Shakes the Willow,” and they were not the only ones.

You too can hear this song, as it's been defictionalized! Check it out maybe?

The only unsmiling face he saw was on a man huddled by one of the fireplaces, and that fellow had a scar that crossed his whole face from one temple to the opposite jaw, giving his nose a slant and drawing the corner of his mouth down. The man met his gaze and grimaced, and Rand looked away in embarrassment. Maybe with that scar the fellow could not smile.

Rand's efforts to be kind to the disfigured are a wee bit undercut by the fact that the disfigured dude is evil. (See the upcoming stuff on Shadar Logoth if you are a Wheel of Time fan who has missed out on the understanding that present day Whitecloaks are universally evil.)

He had only a moment to gather himself before they changed again, and he found himself dancing with Moiraine. If he had thought he was stumble-footed with the Wisdom, it was nothing to how he felt with the Aes Sedai. She glided across the floor smoothly, her gown swirling about her; he almost fell twice. She gave him a sympathetic smile, which made it worse rather than helping. It was a relief to go to his next partner in the pattern, even if it was Egwene.

Note that unlike Mat and Perrin, Rand dances with all three women in the party here: the maiden who disapproves of him, the mother figure struggling with her political power, and the crone who knows his fate. Deliberate foreshadowing, or proof of the human mind's ability to match patterns in anything presented to it?

“I wonder,” Rand said thoughtfully, “what the Women’s Circle would say about the Wisdom dancing? Maybe that’s why.”

Also note that Rand is again understanding politics at a far greater level than his peers. Good thing it's not Perrin who... ends up... oh. Oh dear.

He danced with Egwene again, too; she stared at him, dark-eyed and always seeming on the point of speaking, but never saying a word. He was just as silent as she, but he was sure he did not scowl at her, no matter what Mat said when he returned to the bench.

The problem is that Rand is displacing his frustrations incredibly hard. He wants all of this nonsense to be over, to go to Tar Valon, have the Amyrlin pull a solution to their problems out of her stole, and be sent back home, same as it ever was. Egwene hoping to leave shatters this delusion and forces him to consider that things wouldn't be the same back home after everything that's happened even if he did get to go back. Since he can't vent his frustrations at the Trollocs and he's smart enough not to try to vent at Moiraine, Egwene is the next best thing for him, so he's glaring at her like she personally stabbed his dad and burned down Mat's house.

Meanwhile, I don't think Egwene is really internalizing the whole "the Shadow is specifically after three random country boys from the assend of nowhere" (frankly I don't think she really believes it at all but Moiraine said it to her so it would be hard to fully deny). To her, it's an exciting adventure and Rand's problem must clearly be that he thought she'd be the dutiful girlfriend waiting for him back home and he's just upset about their relationship that never really was being over. This is why I think she would be ready to try and be the one to patch things up during these dances - she's completely misunderstood what's going on with Rand's pettiness and hopes that he can at least be persuaded to not leave things on so shitty a note - and why she's just stunned into silence because she's expecting mournful ex-boyfriend and getting way more intensity than she's able to deal with. It's probably for the best; if she did start up along the lines I think she'd be going for the two would probably end up fighting even more.

“There’s a fellow been staring at me,” Mat said. “A man with a scar across his face. You don’t think he could be a . . . one of the friends you warned us about?”

Honestly it's a little impressive the Whitecloaks even realized that Mat specifically did it when he made such a clean-seeming getaway. Not like the dude glared at Perrin.

“She has a bed,” Thom said dryly, “in with Mistress Alys and the girl.” Perrin whistled between his teeth, and Mat muttered, “Blood and ashes! I wouldn’t be in Egwene’s shoes for all the gold in Caemlyn!” Not for the first time, Rand wished Mat could think seriously about something for more than two minutes. Their own shoes were not very comfortable right then.

It's a bit to Rand's credit that he doesn't think Egwene's deserving what she's getting for running away from home, since he wouldn't even be wrong to think so. Incredibly petty, and not fully right, but not entirely wrong.

A man’s face, but pasty white, like a slug under a rock, and eyeless. From oily black hair to puffy cheeks was as smooth as an eggshell. Rand choked, spraying milk.

So Rand's first chapter Fade sense isn't entirely online here, while Lan at least thinks that something is wrong before they part. I wonder if he could only notice the Fade from before because it was watching him specifically, while now since it's not focused on him until they cross paths and he's only just sparking he doesn't have a clue.

Lan leaped down the last stairs, landing with a crash, sword in hand.

Lan's a horrible life coach, but he's one hell of a bodyguard.

“You must take this seriously,” Moiraine was telling the innkeeper. “You will certainly have trouble here by morning. Darkfriends, perhaps; perhaps worse. When it comes, quickly make it clear that we are gone. Offer no resistance. Just let whoever it is know that we left in the night, and they should bother you no further. It is us they are after.”

Poor Moiraine, even when she tries to look out for the people caught in their wake, her advice comes to naught. She's really trying here, and if she was as political and calculating as she's been trained to be she'd be totally fine with Fitch covering for them and possibly dying for it. Certainly the inn is no more of a loss in those terms than the ferry.

“You think Trollocs might come here hunting for us?” Mat asked. “Trollocs!” Moiraine snapped. “Of course not! There are other things to fear, not the least of which is how we were found.”

Moiraine: Officially Sick of Mat's Shit

And he hasn't even stolen any daggers yet.

Nynaeve shrugged her cloak against the wind as they left the inn. “Perhaps there is something after you. But I came to see you safely back in Emond’s Field, all of you, and I will not leave till that is done. I won’t leave you alone with her sort.” Lights moved in the stables where the ostlers were saddling the horses.

She won't see any of them safely back in Emond's Field, let alone all of them. Perrin goes back on his own, the rest don't. True to her word though, she doesn't leave - and she doesn't leave Rand alone with her sort, even when she becomes an Aes Sedai herself.

“Egwene,” he said, “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to think straight anymore.” She leaned down to grip his hand hard. In the light from the stable he could see her face clearly. She did not look as frightened as she had.

This is one definitely useful thing that Min's visions did. The thing that finally gets Rand to stop being stubborn is her saying that Egwene's part of the team, so he accepts it and the two of them come to terms just in time: the party's about to be separated soon and there won't be time to make amends until the end of the book after that!

“No one to come in, but nothing about leaving,” Moiraine said as if that settled the matter. “You see? We are not asking you to disobey the Governor.”

And look at that, absolutely no lawbreaking happening here.

“The Children of the Light,” the white-cloaked man who had first spoken said softly, “hold sway wherever men walk in the Light. Only where the Shadow of the Dark One reigns are the Children denied, yes?” He swung his hood from the Watchman to Lan, then suddenly gave the Warder a second, more wary, look.

And this of course, is complete bullshit. Who died and put the Whitecloaks in charge? It sure as fuck wasn't Lews, he didn't put anything in charge except lava. Let's see the Whitecloaks overpower some lava, and then maybe we can talk about who should succeed their extraordinarily short reigns and what kind of desserts we'd like at the memorial service.

The only thing I can say in their favor is that they're afraid of Lan, which they should be, because if he extra-judicially killed their asses right now it would be a crime but not a tragedy.

“Clearly, Watchman, I have saved you from a great disaster. These are Darkfriends you were about to help escape from the Light. You should be reported to your Governor for discipline, or perhaps given to the Questioners to discover your true intent this night.” He paused, eyeing the Watchman’s fear; it seemed to have no effect on him. “You would not wish that, no? Instead, I will take these ruffians to our camp, that they may be questioned in the Light—instead of you, yes?”

It's also hilarious that any so-called Wheel of Time fan would argue that Moiraine and Lan are wrong for trying to leave town at night but that the Whitecloaks are justified in leaving town at night to torture them, but I have seen it happen with my own eyes and it's disturbing. Even more disturbing is that this supposedly literate person thinks that the Questioners aren't horrific torturers when it's an actual threat the Whitecloaks employ against those who get in their way.

Moiraine’s shadowed shape towered high over the log palisade, head and shoulders a deeper darkness against the night sky, surrounded by a silver nimbus from the hidden moon. As he watched, mouth hanging open, the Aes Sedai stepped over the wall. The gates began swinging shut frantically.

A lot of people think this is hella early book weirdness with Moiraine actually making herself big and then small again, but to be very clear she just made it look like she was big and then stepped through the open gate. At the scale she was projecting, it seemed like she'd stepped over the wall. Note that when Egwene talks about it, Moiraine cannot explicitly confirm it.

“If they have attacked the inn,” Moiraine said, “perhaps our exit from the town and my . . . display went unnoticed.” “Unless that’s what the Myrddraal wants us to think,” Lan added. Moiraine nodded in the darkness. “Perhaps. In any case, we must press on. There will be little rest for anyone tonight.”

I never find this kind of worrying very productive. The Fades might well have noticed you leaving and burned down the inn in a hissy fit that they'd wasted their time being there at all. The Whitecloaks could have burned it down while the Fades have no clue of anything (for some reason this is what the wiki thinks). Best to only assume that Fitch is paying the price for his helping and to not try to guess a narrative that you will probably never understand.

“I would do something,” Nynaeve muttered unwillingly. “And in all probability hand the Dark One his victory,” Moiraine replied.

I do so love a good debate between deontology and utilitarianism. Moiraine, not being a protagonist, naturally takes the utilitarian argument, while Nynaeve holds the traditional ground of heroes but is powerless to do anything because we're much too early in her arc for that. Her refusal to accept that she can't win them all will lead her to a lot of victories.

“I thought we were safe, you know, Rand. Not a sign of anything since we crossed the Taren, and there we were in a city, with walls around us. I thought we were safe. And then that dream. And a Fade. Are we ever going to be safe again?”

Sorry Mat, but Rand is going to keep leaving reviews on Yelp for every inn you stay at, so you are never going to be safe again. That's literally the only reason you weren't safe. Shitty dreams suck but aren't a real danger, shitty secret keepers who tell Fain your address will ruin everything.

Perrin spoke quietly. “She should have done something.”

Maybe she could have sold two hundred people into slavery!

Unlike Nynaeve, Perrin will come to love utilitarianism when it comes to achieving his goals, and his goals will all be shit. But we'll get there, right now he's doing what he's told and that's a perfectly good goal.

All except Lan, that is. He ate, but he was not bleary-eyed, and he did not huddle. He had changed back into his shifting cloak, and it whipped around him, fluttering through grays and greens, and the only mind he paid it was to keep it clear of his sword-arm. His face remained without expression, but his eyes searched constantly, as if he expected an ambush any moment.

Bluntly speaking, he does expect an ambush at any moment and he's right to be worried. Rand is silly for thinking in terms of "as if".

Still though, compared to the Blight, this shitty winter day is way easier to deal with. Also, the Warders' tactical camo capes will never not make me laugh. It's really a good thing they didn't put it in the show.

But that's another chapter, and unlike Lan, I'm dealing with a shitty summer night, filled with heat and smoke. Thanks for reading, see you next time as the party takes the Caemlyn Road and gets to... not Caemlyn, that's for damn sure! What book series did you think you were reading where heroes just get somewhere without spending fifteen chapters on the way?

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #robert jordan #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #rand al'thor #thom merrilin #perrin aybara #mat cauthon #nynaeve al'meara #moiraine damodred #egwene al'vere #lan mandragoran #dain bornhald

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