probablyevilrpgideas
Probably Evil RPG Ideas
I'm like a gaming lich, crawling out of my crypt with stats for ancient systems that few still know. They/Them, feminine nonbinary. Please don't use masculine terms towards me. If you like my ramblings and creations, you can tip me at paypal.me/korbl or $ValravenApocalypse!
1386 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
emcordcarstairss
you have no idea how long something you say can stay in someone*
distinguisheddelusionflower
Frenchielover❤️
craftscreatures
craftscreatures
justmehdarren
Just A (Non-Haunted) Hangout~
beloved-creature
death is temporary
Text
"Proud Warrior Race"+"Living in Diaspora"
That's just the githyanki (if they weren't written by cowardly white people who don't know the opportunity they have)
Also mandalorians.
And how I often portray orcs.
... Ok, I'm starting to realize that I am just especially drawn to this particular trope combo.
Another worldbuilding application of the "two layer rule": To create a culture while avoiding The Planet Of Hats (the thing where a people only have one thing going for them, like "everyone wears a silly hat"): You only need two hats.
Try picking two random flat culture ideas and combine them, see how they interact. Let's say taking the Proud Warrior Race - people who are all about glory in battle and feats of strength, whose songs and ballads are about heroes in battle and whose education consists of combat and military tactics. Throw in another element: Living in diaspora. Suddenly you've got a whole more interesting dynamic going on - how did a people like this end up cast out of their old native land? How do they feel about it? How do they make a living now - as guards, mercenaries? How do their non-combatants live? Were they always warrior people, or did they become fighters out of necessity to fend for themselves in the lands of strangers? How do the peoples of these lands regard them?
Like I'm not shitting, it's literally that easy. You can avoid writing an one-dimensional culture just by adding another equally flat element, and the third dimension appears on its own just like that. And while one of the features can be location/climate, you can also combine two of those with each other.
Let's take a pretty standard Fantasy Race Biome: The forest people. Their job is the forest. They live there, hunt there, forage there, they have an obnoxious amount of sayings that somehow refer to trees, woods, or forests. Very high chance of being elves. And then a second common stock Fantasy Biome People: The Grim Cold North. Everything is bleak and grim up there. People are hardy and harsh, "frostbite because the climate hates you" and "stabbed because your neighbour hates you" are the most common causes of death. People are either completely humourless or have a horrifyingly dark, morbid sense of humour. They might find it funny that you genuinely can't tell which one.
Now combine them: Grim Cold Bleak Forest People. The summer lasts about 15 minutes and these people know every single type of berry, mushroom and herb that's edible in any fathomable way. You're not sure if they're joking about occasionally resorting to eating tree bark to survive the long dark winter. Not a warrior people, but very skilled in disappearing into the forest and picking off would-be invaders one by one. Once they fuck off into the woods you won't find them unless they want to be found.
You know, Finland.
#dungeons and dragons#d&d#dungeons & dragons#fantasy#dnd#rpgs#githyanki#mandalorians#orcs#worldbuilding
23K notes
·
View notes
Text
When the law tries to go after the CN druid
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
And suddenly, the person writing this paragraph had a banging goblin body with awesome tits and everything they ever wanted.
“Please stop writing! The very next thing you write will actually happen!”
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
1- Statistically, someone was masturbating to the draft and the fact that it killed a lot of young men
2- Foone, is your old job hiring?
(amazingly this has nothing to do with that humanpetguy post I just replied to)
one of my favorite fetish worldbuilding tropes, because of how fucking dumb and unreasonable it is, is the Federal Department of Kinky Shit.
It's the very specific thing that happens where it turns out in your setting, there's a Government Agency that does Kinky Shit.
Like you gotta go to the Big Testing Center when you turn 21 to find out if you're gonna be turned into a ponygirl, by the USDHA: The United States Department of Human Agriculture.
or maybe you get a letter in the mail, and oh no! your number has come up in the Slut Lottery. What's that mean? Why is there a slut lottery? NO TIME TO EXPLAIN, IT'S JUST HOW IT IS! GET TO SLUTTIN'
It kinda makes me want to write one of these stories just so I can try to write a backstory that explains WHY IN THE FUCK their world is like this and no one seems to complain.
It's basically the same trope as "medieval village sacrifices a maiden every year to The Dragon" but modernized.
Now there's a Government Agency in charge of Feeding Virgins To Winged Reptiles, and everyone is just fine with that. Apparently the supreme court said it was okay, or we had a constitutional amendment to give the government the power to turn young adults into meals for wyverns. How did that get ratified, anyway? You seriously got 38 states to vote in favor of taking citizens and feeding them to a monster?
This would almost be a commentary on the heartlessness of the draft except they're clearly way too horny about it. It's like instead of saying "the draft is like a monster that eats our children and we just smile and wave the flag", they're saying "the draft is a monster that eats our children and I'm masturbating to it"
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
I know it's only a small part of the overall post, but...
Every single cop deserves the fucking wall.
45K notes
·
View notes
Text
So, what I'm seeing here is...
if anyone at Columbia wanted to absolute wreck McInnes' shit, which he very much deserves, the cops are all busy protecting spineless Pols from a protest?
the republican house speaker and a delegation of the worst people in congress have decided to hold a press conference right now inside of columbia's campus, where they are currently spewing lies and calling for the president's resignation despite her siccing the cops on students
219 notes
·
View notes
Text
I want every "Trump is a fascist, vote blue no matter who!" liberal who whines about leftists saying there's no difference between the GOP and Dems to look at this fucking picture.
This is fucking facism.
And it's happening on Biden's watch.
The whole fucking system is broken.
HAPPENING NOW: texas state troopers are menacing a pro palestine protest on ut austin's campus. AN ENCAMPMENT HASNT EVEN BEEN ESTABLISHED YET
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
ONE HOUR AGO: a beautiful birthday tribute for weelaunee forest defender tortuguita, who would've turned 28 today if atlanta police hadn't murdered them, from the walls of occupied siemens hall.
453 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love her
I guess my thing right now is drawing my dnd characters lookin' melancholic.
so this time I doodled my Draconic Goblin, Pike!
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
visual by zayn alarbi, words by ibrahim nasrallah
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
Delicious in Dungeon in The Kitchen
So... I was struck by the thought that I kinda wish some food nerd would go through the Dungeon Meshi dishes and analyze them and sort of give a "this is the real world thing they're making" run down.
And then I realized I'm a food nerd that can do research.
So.
We're gonna try this out, starting with Volume 1. I don't promise that I know everything about cooking. I don't promise I'll always be able to make the thing I'm looking at (I am broke, and I don't have my own kitchen). But I can at least look at a dish and figure out what they're doing and how to replicate it, at least sorta.
Dungeon Meshi Volume 1-- Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot
The two main components of this dish are the Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom.
Walking Mushroom
Looking at the images in the manga, Walking Mushroom seems to just... be a mushroom that can walk around. There are no organs, the interior seems pretty uniform in substance...
Like, literally, that's exactly what sliced mushrooms look like. Senshi cuts the mushroom into ~4" strips (judging by their size next to the small cabbage-like vegetable, and comparing those plants to his hand in the image of him gathering them. I am assuming dwarf hands are roughly the same size as human hands).
There's a variety of edible mushroom that is probably as close as we're going to get to the size of a Walking Mushroom, growing a cap up to 3' wide, but it seems to only grow in termite mounds in a very specific part of the African continent (please forgive my USAmerican, White education leading me to not being able to identify the specific region), so... if you can get that at all, it's probably crazy expensive (as it should be, unless you're literally getting it from the mounds or local markets yourself). Portobello or similar large culinary mushrooms are probably just fine. The Mushroom Feet are literally just mushrooms, so no worries there.
Huge Scorpion
Ok, so... there is a difference between arachnids and crustaceans. As a start, arachnids have book lungs and crustaceans have gills. Arachnid guts are different from crustacean guts, just because of environment. Hell, crustacean limbs grow differently from arachnid limbs.
That said, everything I see in Dungeon Meshi implies that, from a culinary standpoint, Huge Scorpion is a crustacean-
So, really, it's just a big lobster. Take a lobster, cut off its legs, antennae, and the tail fluke, and you're going to see something that looks pretty similar to the huge scorpion in Dungeon Meshi.
Seaweed
Next is seaweed, which... is just a thing, but also kind of an imprecise term, I think. Basically, "seaweed" just refers to any marine algae that is multicellular and macroscopic (big enough to see). Arctic Moss seems to be a real thing which refers to a couple things- the aquatic moss Calliergon giganteum and the terrestrial lichen in the genus of Cladonia, which includes Reindeer Lichen.
Reindeer lichen is edible, in a number of ways, but it's also not seaweed. So we look at Calliergon giganteum. I cannot get an answer as to whether this particular variety of moss is edible. So... fuck it, say Senshi used Reindeer Lichen, at least we know that's edible.
"Star Jelly" is... I don't know. The main result I find when googling it is that it's the sort of general term for various slimes that show up on lawns and other vegetation, etc. Which means it could be anything from amphibian spawning jelly to who the fuck knows what.
However, one thing it could be is a cyanobacteria known as Fat Choy, a commonly used "vegetable" in Chinese Cuisine:
Looks like jelly? Yep. Looks weird enough that you might imagine it comes from a star? Yep. Edible? Yes!
(I mean, maybe don't eat a ton of it, or get it from irreputable sources. At least some Fat Choy contains a toxic amino acid which may or may not have negative health effects, but I'm not a doctor, so all I'm saying is "be aware of this." It's an expensive delicacy, which means that it is a particularly lucrative target for counterfeiters, and China does not have strong, or strongly enforced, food safety laws).
The Hard Stuff
So that leaves "Invertatoes" and "Dried Slime."
Neither of which seem to have a good direct analogue to the real world. Well... sorta.
Invertatoes seems to refer to the plants. The name calls to mind potatoes, and potatoes do indeed grow in the ground and are starchy. It's probably fair to just use any kind of starchy tuber as the "invertatoes." Maybe cassava, since those are large enough that it's at least somewhat believable that "Fantasy Land Cassava" could look like that (although that doesn't fit the "these are normal plants that grow upside down" unless we're being really generous).
The problem is that it's sort of implied that the cabbage-like vegetable seen in the hot pot comes from the same plant, and everything from a potato plant other than the potato itself is toxic. They also don't look like that.
I literally don't know what those cabbage/lettuce-like leafy vegetables are. They're not seaweed, because the two varieties called out definitely don't look like that. They're not, so far as I can tell, the greens of any kind of starchy tuber--
EXCEPT.
So, I was taking one last look at tubers to see if I could find something that seemed to match, and I think Invertatoes could be likened to something similar to chicory. Particularly endives. I never knew endives were related to chicory (ie, "that thing that I'm aware is popular as a coffee substitute in the South, but I don't have much desire to try it, and I wonder if it even has caffeine..."), but, apparently, yeah. Endives are a member of the chicory genus.
So, yeah, lets say that Invertatoes are a sort of fantasy plant similar to the various members of the chicory genus. The trunk can be replicated with chicory root, and the leaves with endives.
That leaves Dried Slime. Dried Slime makes up the noodles in the hot pot, which implies that the noodles are gelatinous, and probably low in gluten. Senshi's explanation of the slime makes me want to think of it as a macro-unicellular lifeform, but... I'm not sure that's accurate.
While it's definitely not an accurate way to describe a jellyfish, I could definitely see a non-biologist describing jellyfish in a way similar to the way Senshi describes the slime. I could also see some fantasy terrestrial jellyfish thing hunting in a similar manner to the slime. Moreover, there are edible varieties of jellyfish, and they're processed in a manner very similar to what Senshi describes for processing slimes. And one way of preparing edible jellyfish is to thinly slice it into noodles.
Hot Pots
I... think this is using a very specifically Japanese sense of "hot pot" (which makes sense), because in Japan, hot pot can refer to a dish called nabemono, while in general, hot pot refers to a particular kind of dining in China where you get a pot full of boiling stock/broth and a bunch of raw ingredients, and you put the stuff you want into the broth at the table. Nabemono is more of "put a bunch of stuff in a pot, and cook it. Serve it boiling." Which is to say, it's soup.
Senshi puts the scorpion meat and mushroom into a pot on its own, and lets it start boiling-
Then, while it's boiling, he goes and finds other ingredients, coming back with the invertatoes and the slime. The two are prepared simply-
Seasoning isn't included in the ingredients, but I can understand this as a choice for presentation. We do see Senshi add something to the broth after tasting it, and I think it's fair to assume it's one of soy sauce, mirin, fish sauce, or similar. I think it's actually really interesting that we see Senshi add seasoning, but we're not told what it is-
Because... that's cooking. You can follow a recipe, but ultimately, you need to taste your cooking and make your own decisions. Senshi lets the soup cook, tastes the broth, decides it needs something, and gives it a bit of time to let the flavors meld before serving it up.
Dungeon Meshi Lobster and Mushroom Hot Pot
So, we're looking at something like this for the "Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot"--
Lobster- ~5 lbs or more (a 1 lb lobster yields about 4 oz of actual meat, which is a single serving), cut into large slices
Portobello- 2 mushrooms large diced, 2 left whole with the caps scored
Reindeer Lichen and Fat Choy- to taste
Chicory Roots- ~1 cup, diced
Endive greens- ~2 cups
Jellyfish, thin sliced- as much as you like
Add lobster and mushrooms to water, and allow to boil. While it comes to a boil, prepare the other ingredients, then add to the water. Let the soup come to a full boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes to an hour (can simmer longer, but this will affect the texture of the ingredients. Longer simmering will result in more melding of flavors, but also degraded solid parts).
Taste the broth. It will likely need salt and acid, which could come in a variety of forms, such as kosher salt and lemon juice, soy sauce and mirin/rice vinegar, oyster/fish sauce, or something else. Go with your gut and your taste buds..
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
While it probably is meant to be a pubic bone, a dragon probably wouldn't have it. A dragon is not a theropod, it's probably not even a reptile (taxonomy stuff*). Structurally, if you remove the wings, dragons typically have more mammalian proportions and posture--
That's not a reptile. It has scales, and something like a beak, sure, but that body looks a bit like a cat-
Yes, I know, the dragon is drawn with what seems to be a dinosaur-like pubic bone, but it shouldn't. Hell, here's a dinosaur that has four legs-
It doesn't have the kind of pubic bone that would create that shape.
But also! The dragon has dewclaws! So far as I'm aware, no quadrupedal dinosaur has dewclaws. If anything, reptile-wise, a dragon should have a skeleton similar to a lizard-
Which, again does not have the kind of pubic bone that would create that shape on the fleshed body. Also, no dewclaws.
So, physiologically, a dragon likely has more in common with a cat than reptiles.
Which means that's not a pubic bone, or rather, it really shouldn't be.
*Reptiles and Aves are part of the Tetrapoda superclass of the Chordata phylum. Tetrapoda is defined by having four limbs. Dragons, if we take all dragons as part of the same lineage, typically have six or more limbs. Granted, the red dragon of dungeon meshi does not, so, fine, maybe it's a tetrapoda, but it does seem to have spurs left from losing its wings, similar to how snakes have spurs that are evidence of evolving from creatures with legs.
im tired of this discussion lol
#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#falin touden#faligon#Fantasy monster husbandry#nitpicking for accuracy and lesbianism!
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
More playing with the Githlin/Knife Elf idea
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Honestly the whole Tall-Man thing is such an elegant solution to the whole human problem in dnd. So much language like "have some humanity" gets so awkward when there's a group called humans. Having humans instead refer to all humanoids just makes so much sense in this context!
High key gonna bring this up to my dnd groups and am gonna hard code it in if/when I make my own system.
8K notes
·
View notes
Photo
...i need to play a tabaxi monk with a magic wheelchair now
Just riding a Roomba, dispensing slaps…
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
Giving this another little bump
Delicious in Dungeon in The Kitchen
So... I was struck by the thought that I kinda wish some food nerd would go through the Dungeon Meshi dishes and analyze them and sort of give a "this is the real world thing they're making" run down.
And then I realized I'm a food nerd that can do research.
So.
We're gonna try this out, starting with Volume 1. I don't promise that I know everything about cooking. I don't promise I'll always be able to make the thing I'm looking at (I am broke, and I don't have my own kitchen). But I can at least look at a dish and figure out what they're doing and how to replicate it, at least sorta.
Dungeon Meshi Volume 1-- Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot
The two main components of this dish are the Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom.
Walking Mushroom
Looking at the images in the manga, Walking Mushroom seems to just... be a mushroom that can walk around. There are no organs, the interior seems pretty uniform in substance...
Like, literally, that's exactly what sliced mushrooms look like. Senshi cuts the mushroom into ~4" strips (judging by their size next to the small cabbage-like vegetable, and comparing those plants to his hand in the image of him gathering them. I am assuming dwarf hands are roughly the same size as human hands).
There's a variety of edible mushroom that is probably as close as we're going to get to the size of a Walking Mushroom, growing a cap up to 3' wide, but it seems to only grow in termite mounds in a very specific part of the African continent (please forgive my USAmerican, White education leading me to not being able to identify the specific region), so... if you can get that at all, it's probably crazy expensive (as it should be, unless you're literally getting it from the mounds or local markets yourself). Portobello or similar large culinary mushrooms are probably just fine. The Mushroom Feet are literally just mushrooms, so no worries there.
Huge Scorpion
Ok, so... there is a difference between arachnids and crustaceans. As a start, arachnids have book lungs and crustaceans have gills. Arachnid guts are different from crustacean guts, just because of environment. Hell, crustacean limbs grow differently from arachnid limbs.
That said, everything I see in Dungeon Meshi implies that, from a culinary standpoint, Huge Scorpion is a crustacean-
So, really, it's just a big lobster. Take a lobster, cut off its legs, antennae, and the tail fluke, and you're going to see something that looks pretty similar to the huge scorpion in Dungeon Meshi.
Seaweed
Next is seaweed, which... is just a thing, but also kind of an imprecise term, I think. Basically, "seaweed" just refers to any marine algae that is multicellular and macroscopic (big enough to see). Arctic Moss seems to be a real thing which refers to a couple things- the aquatic moss Calliergon giganteum and the terrestrial lichen in the genus of Cladonia, which includes Reindeer Lichen.
Reindeer lichen is edible, in a number of ways, but it's also not seaweed. So we look at Calliergon giganteum. I cannot get an answer as to whether this particular variety of moss is edible. So... fuck it, say Senshi used Reindeer Lichen, at least we know that's edible.
"Star Jelly" is... I don't know. The main result I find when googling it is that it's the sort of general term for various slimes that show up on lawns and other vegetation, etc. Which means it could be anything from amphibian spawning jelly to who the fuck knows what.
However, one thing it could be is a cyanobacteria known as Fat Choy, a commonly used "vegetable" in Chinese Cuisine:
Looks like jelly? Yep. Looks weird enough that you might imagine it comes from a star? Yep. Edible? Yes!
(I mean, maybe don't eat a ton of it, or get it from irreputable sources. At least some Fat Choy contains a toxic amino acid which may or may not have negative health effects, but I'm not a doctor, so all I'm saying is "be aware of this." It's an expensive delicacy, which means that it is a particularly lucrative target for counterfeiters, and China does not have strong, or strongly enforced, food safety laws).
The Hard Stuff
So that leaves "Invertatoes" and "Dried Slime."
Neither of which seem to have a good direct analogue to the real world. Well... sorta.
Invertatoes seems to refer to the plants. The name calls to mind potatoes, and potatoes do indeed grow in the ground and are starchy. It's probably fair to just use any kind of starchy tuber as the "invertatoes." Maybe cassava, since those are large enough that it's at least somewhat believable that "Fantasy Land Cassava" could look like that (although that doesn't fit the "these are normal plants that grow upside down" unless we're being really generous).
The problem is that it's sort of implied that the cabbage-like vegetable seen in the hot pot comes from the same plant, and everything from a potato plant other than the potato itself is toxic. They also don't look like that.
I literally don't know what those cabbage/lettuce-like leafy vegetables are. They're not seaweed, because the two varieties called out definitely don't look like that. They're not, so far as I can tell, the greens of any kind of starchy tuber--
EXCEPT.
So, I was taking one last look at tubers to see if I could find something that seemed to match, and I think Invertatoes could be likened to something similar to chicory. Particularly endives. I never knew endives were related to chicory (ie, "that thing that I'm aware is popular as a coffee substitute in the South, but I don't have much desire to try it, and I wonder if it even has caffeine..."), but, apparently, yeah. Endives are a member of the chicory genus.
So, yeah, lets say that Invertatoes are a sort of fantasy plant similar to the various members of the chicory genus. The trunk can be replicated with chicory root, and the leaves with endives.
That leaves Dried Slime. Dried Slime makes up the noodles in the hot pot, which implies that the noodles are gelatinous, and probably low in gluten. Senshi's explanation of the slime makes me want to think of it as a macro-unicellular lifeform, but... I'm not sure that's accurate.
While it's definitely not an accurate way to describe a jellyfish, I could definitely see a non-biologist describing jellyfish in a way similar to the way Senshi describes the slime. I could also see some fantasy terrestrial jellyfish thing hunting in a similar manner to the slime. Moreover, there are edible varieties of jellyfish, and they're processed in a manner very similar to what Senshi describes for processing slimes. And one way of preparing edible jellyfish is to thinly slice it into noodles.
Hot Pots
I... think this is using a very specifically Japanese sense of "hot pot" (which makes sense), because in Japan, hot pot can refer to a dish called nabemono, while in general, hot pot refers to a particular kind of dining in China where you get a pot full of boiling stock/broth and a bunch of raw ingredients, and you put the stuff you want into the broth at the table. Nabemono is more of "put a bunch of stuff in a pot, and cook it. Serve it boiling." Which is to say, it's soup.
Senshi puts the scorpion meat and mushroom into a pot on its own, and lets it start boiling-
Then, while it's boiling, he goes and finds other ingredients, coming back with the invertatoes and the slime. The two are prepared simply-
Seasoning isn't included in the ingredients, but I can understand this as a choice for presentation. We do see Senshi add something to the broth after tasting it, and I think it's fair to assume it's one of soy sauce, mirin, fish sauce, or similar. I think it's actually really interesting that we see Senshi add seasoning, but we're not told what it is-
Because... that's cooking. You can follow a recipe, but ultimately, you need to taste your cooking and make your own decisions. Senshi lets the soup cook, tastes the broth, decides it needs something, and gives it a bit of time to let the flavors meld before serving it up.
Dungeon Meshi Lobster and Mushroom Hot Pot
So, we're looking at something like this for the "Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot"--
Lobster- ~5 lbs or more (a 1 lb lobster yields about 4 oz of actual meat, which is a single serving), cut into large slices
Portobello- 2 mushrooms large diced, 2 left whole with the caps scored
Reindeer Lichen and Fat Choy- to taste
Chicory Roots- ~1 cup, diced
Endive greens- ~2 cups
Jellyfish, thin sliced- as much as you like
Add lobster and mushrooms to water, and allow to boil. While it comes to a boil, prepare the other ingredients, then add to the water. Let the soup come to a full boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes to an hour (can simmer longer, but this will affect the texture of the ingredients. Longer simmering will result in more melding of flavors, but also degraded solid parts).
Taste the broth. It will likely need salt and acid, which could come in a variety of forms, such as kosher salt and lemon juice, soy sauce and mirin/rice vinegar, oyster/fish sauce, or something else. Go with your gut and your taste buds..
74 notes
·
View notes