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frozenblueberriess · 1 year

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I do not want tomorrow to come. I think that’s why I sleep so late. The morning sun demands so much from me. My bed wants to spit me out and I cling to it for dear life. There are a list of things to do but I rather sit and listen to the low hum of my sad heart.

Isabel Milagro

#mine #words #word #write #female writers #writer #quotes #quote #spilled thoughts #poetry #i love you #books libraries #home lifestyle #prose #lit #reading #literature #poem #Dara Karadag

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babiemuse · 12 years

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I like Turkish Delight.

The lady was Turkish, and in life, I love people from Turkey and Croatia and Iran and Palestine and that whole Persian area. All of the people that have inspired me or aided me in the right direction me, have been from that particular region. (Like Jesus !)

Once in the fourth grade, there was this girl named Ezgi and she was Turkish and I don't see her much, but she's beautiful. Inside and out. She has bad friends now, but once, she was my best friend, and she liked how I only wrote in pen. She didn't eat crabs because once her brother told her that she was eating Mr. Krabs from Spongebob Squarepants. I really liked her. We had a crush on the same guy. I didn't tell her, but I did tell him that I had a crush on him. He knew that she liked him, and I wish he would have liked her back, but he liked some other perfect all american girl. Everyone else liked Ezgi. I did. I think she was my first girl-crush. Anyway, she moved back to Queens. I miss her terribly.

Then, in High School, there was this girl name Dara. She is Turkish and Puerto Rican. She's so sexxxxxxxxxxy ! OMG ! and for prom she looked like how I want to look when I get married. She inspired so much of me. (like my poems and stories and stuff) she writes poetry too. Some pieces of hers where published in the school poetry thing called Vintage. SO ! being the creep/ art patron(without money) that I am, I cut them out and added them to my wall collage. Once when we were in creative writing, the teacher (he is cool otherwise) called her sexy, and then went to say "If María had called you sexy everyone would have thought it was cute and adorable." (because everyone does) and then said, "If I told you were sexy, I would keep it inside my head." and then looked at her like poiuytrewq. Anyway, she's hot and has cool tattoos. She has a blog (detouteboute).

My first French teacher is born in France, but her family is from Iran. She is soooo beautiful. I wish I had her body. She's like my second mom. However, she has something that everyone loves and her accent is great. I sent her poems anonymously last year because she was going through a tough time. I hinted that it was me, but I don't think she understood. They were really meee feeling, because they were all from my favorite poets. One of those was in Spanish from Pablo Neruda (God-Bless). I put them in her mailbox in the school's main office. I wondered if she ever got them and once I found one in her desk. The one in Spanish. So it made me feel nice. I'm going to do that next year. But I think she might find me because I'm always writing poems. She might make the connection. Next year she will be my teacher, but this year she wasn't because I was taking another honors course for Trig and it interfered with her class. I cried the entire day when that happened. When I graduate from that hell whole that is something that I will always miss. Her. She told me that she loved ever second that she was in NYU.

My psychologist is from Croatia. He's name is Mario. I'm a peer leader for my school and he came to the school to talk about his personal life and his battles with alcohol and stuff. So, I had to show him around the classrooms. He likes the Doors. He reminded me of my grandfather. After that I went to his office, and I wanted to see him. He made me feel better. Like everything cleared up. But he made me understand that before everything can be better it has to be ugly. My grades were severely affect by my problem. He helped a lot. But I don't see him anymore, and I wish I did.

Which brings me to today !

I make some allusions in my poetry, and one of those is to turkish delight. like the turkish delight food. In a lot of my poems. I like Turks.

SO !

The Turkish woman I met today was amazing. I was reading the Picture of Dorian Gray and Dorian made me think of Narcissus. Narcissus is that guy from mythology that falls in love with his reflection, and then dies in a lake because he saw his reflection wanted to touch it then drowned. So I googled what book had that as a beginning and it was The Alchemist ! and if you have read it, it is live changing.

SO I was thinking about the ideas of beauty.

I looked at me, and I was like :( :( I will never find my Cole Mohr-Ash Synmest Lookalike writer manboy because I'm ugly. (especially today !)

and then I saw the lady with the ice cream and I told her she was beautiful. She told me that I was beautiful too. I was like that's cute, I'm ugly. You're Turkish and I'm a weird Asian Salvadoran. She said I was beautiful and told me she was once ugly. She had bushy eyebrows and she was an ugly tomboy, and then said that there were pretty tomboys and we all agreed. She said that as she grew older she found beauty within and when she was in her early twenties, she thought herself beautiful, and guys saw that. She said something about beauty finding her. And so much. It was life changing. She was so pretty. Her hair, her waist, her everything. Her eyessss ! Even when she wakes up, or she's sweaty, Jesus, she's beautiful. She told me I was. I don't believe it, yet, (yet is a very important word) She said the most beautiful-est words of wisdom. I could tell that she had been once ugly and had made herself believe she was beautiful. Because at the end, she was. She just had to believe it. I don't know how to put these without making it seem lame. She was great. The ice cream was so much better because she gave it to me. You know?

After fixing a couple of things as my life goes on, I will be beautiful. One day. Not because I'm skinny, or have nice skin, or because some guy told me, but because I believe it. Because fuck that bullshit that the beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Because beauty is for everyone to have and for everyone to share and for everyone to see it in each other. It's not easy for a lot of people, do you have to work for it. Work for it.

Nothing of this is poetic bullshit.

#read this celine #turkish people are beautiful #dara karadag

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frozenblueberriess · 2 years

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What I hold true is this. The earth and the sky look best after a storm. I feel the most alive after I finish crying. The greatest songs have been written in agony and happiness is only thoroughly enjoyed because I know its adversary. If nothing terrible ever happens I will never know the meaning of survival. What do I stay alive for if not for love? And because I know love I will always say yes to suffering for it.

Isabel Milagro

#mine #word #words #write #writing #written #poem #poetry #original poem #my poem #poem of the day #home lifestyle #books libraries #i love you #spilled thoughts #writers #prose #my thougts #Dara Karadag

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frozenblueberriess · 1 year

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The best tool for my writing will always be music. Music supports my belief that anything is possible. There are harmonies, melodies, symphonies and pure sashaying of sound that come from nowhere and everywhere all the same. It is the meeting of heart and mind as they come together to dance at the center of the soul. Whether I’m driving or laying, walking or running or having a meal, music will make it all better. It always does. The way we have recognized sound and all its possibilities should put to rest all forms of doubt forevermore. I am able to tell you this as I dwell on everything that music has given me. It allows me to have complete freedom of emotions without feeling like I’m going crazy. It allows me to see myself in someone else’s tune, in someone else’s vein, in someone else’s note.

#mine #Dara Karadag #relatable quotes #quote #quotes #female writers #written #write #wordsnquotes #word #words #poetry #spilled thoughts #i love you #home lifestyle #books libraries #reading #lit #prose

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frozenblueberriess · 1 year

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I think the most interesting thing about life is humans. The way they move their hands towards their face in despair. How their foreheads scrunch when they get angry. A smirk from their mouth can be happy or evil. Their eyes can’t help but look at something beautiful. Their voice can either sing or say I love you. They are able to look into each others eyes, kiss each others lips and hold hands. Their face can either tell you everything or nothing at all.

Dara Karadag

#mine #life quotes #quote #quotes #lit #literature #wordsnquotes #word #poetry #spilled thoughts #books libraries #i love you #home lifestyle #prose #reading #write #Dara Karadag

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frozenblueberriess · 2 years

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I want to tell you that I often think of you even though I shouldn’t. I remember your face that day when I hunched over you as you were laying in bed. We were having trouble and you cried. I watched your brown eyes fill with tears that fell every time you blinked. But you wouldn't take your eyes off mine. They were pleading with me for answers that my mouth couldn’t eject. From that day forward I knew we were in love in a really rough kind of way since the highs were so high and the lows left us catatonic. We had our hands tied up in each other. You had both your hands around my neck so I could not breathe. I had both of mine around your heart so you could not love again.

Isabel Milagro

#mine #writers on tumblr #write #writerslife #female writers #writing #relatable quotes #quote #quotes #long reads #read #reading #books libraries #bookish #home lifestyle #i love you #Dara Karadag

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frozenblueberriess · 1 year

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Death is so sure of itself

of its brutal nature

It will gloat and have me wrung

but death forgets

in the midst of its gore

with its eyes blind from blood

Love stands tall

on the ground of its word

and the will of its truth

time after time

I will place my bet on Love

for its ruthlessness

for its savagery

Dara Karadag

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frozenblueberriess · 2 years

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Everything is simple but we don’t deem it as such. We instead get distracted by the minutiae of every day life, which clouds are thinking into believing that the over arching decision, the grand gesture, the thing that’s supposed to be done is some great convoluted mystery.

Isabel Milagro

#mine #poetry #write #writing #writers #poem #books libraries #reading #i love you #literature #spilled thoughts #prose #long reads #home lifestyle #quote #quotes #lit #words #Dara Karadag

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frozenblueberriess · 2 years

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What will I do about tomorrow? I don’t know. I don’t have tomorrow. All I have is this gray majestic air settling in the sky where I may have wanted the sun. The birds are permitted to fly and I am permitted to wonder, to ponder. My mind is soaring but my eyes are closed. I will take the day for what it is but I would like to have my mind for good measure. So I can choose to escape, tolerate, or marinate. Thank you.

Isabel Milagro

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frozenblueberriess · 2 years

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I am blue like the midnight moon

The stars form the chorus

of my deafening doom

Isabel Milagro

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frozenblueberriess · 2 years

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I’m having a hard time accepting death as I remain alive. I watch my loved ones go but where does my love for them go? I feel it leaving me trying to nest in undeserving places. These other people don’t know what to do with it. I feel it trying to return back to me but I cannot keep it, it does not belong to me. It belongs with them, the ones who are already gone. So I let it get swallowed up by the earth, bits of me I will never get back. I am only a fraction, I carry a hidden life by the side of my life.

Dara Karadag

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frozenblueberriess · 2 years

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There’s an area of my life filled with rage and discomfort. Another part is filled with peace and warmth. I find you in between these two parts where there is sadness and longing. Your smile projects itself to the front of my mind and in seeing you joyous I crave to join you. I instead feel a pinch and then a gushing of despair from the emptiness I create for you to fill. But you are gone. So I fill it with other things that take up space but not enough. These things are always horrible for me. It’s always cheap. It never gets old, how often I cling to darkness in my intense need for light.

Dara Karadag

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frozenblueberriess · 2 years

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I’ll write you a letter, more than likely on a cold night when it’s raining. The reminiscing of you will keep me warm. I’ll tell you things about my day that I wish you were a part of. Things like, grandma just completing her 85th birthday and how frightened I am of loosing her. The days have been longer without you and sometimes so short I miss it when I blink. Nothing has been the same and I can see people for who they really are. I don’t have as much sympathy for them as you did, you masked their grim with your glory.

Dara Karadag

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frozenblueberriess · 2 years

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There’s a bag

sitting on the floor

that I couldn’t really afford

but there it is

just like the rain

outside my window

which I didn’t purchase

or ask for

but God gave freely

I am cold

I want the small candle

burning by my side

to become a fire place

I sit by to learn

of why God comforts me

I want the flame to teach me

of his rage

and his warmth

the rain is gently tapping

on the the ground

begging me to listen

Dara Karadag

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frozenblueberriess · 2 years

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I am in pain

especially at night

while the crickets sing

I become quiet and docile

my anguish is unfamiliar

to me

and I refuse to become

more acquainted

I’d like to shout but everyone

is asleep

either in pain - like me

or so much worse I fear

in absolute,

Indifference.

Dara Karadag

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frozenblueberriess · 9 months

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#mine #photo

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