#DID YOU BREAK ALL OF THOSE?!? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

purplebehittindifferent · 8 months

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Is the reunion approaching?

Masterpost

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andthebeanstalk · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 days

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Danse Macabre

[Commission]

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #marcille donato #winged lion #better drawn mdzs #<- art tag I really need to change.#Turns out the secret to drawing better was having someone offer you money to draw.#I jest. I just had a blast with this prompt and I seriously appreciate the commissioner for letting me have the chance to push myself.#And for giving me permission to post! Hi! If you're seeing this: thank you again!#Let me be clear: no I don't quite know where this came from. It just happened. My chakras unblocked for a few hours.#You too can unblock my chakras with money and commission me to draw cool art B*)#We are so far off from when this is relevant so this one is really just for the manga readers. *****Spoiler notes ahead:#So...As someone who read dungeon meshi monthly for many years....I admit to not seeing Marcille becoming the dungeon lord coming #Hilarious too; re-reading and watching the show made me realize that this outcome is pretty strongly foreshadowed.#Ryoko Kui distracts you by putting the focus on Laios being the 'one to break the curse' but nope!#This was the culmination of her goals and desires.#And - for those who did not have to suffer as us monthly readers did:#YES. WE NEARLY ALL THOUGHT THAT MARCILLE HAD TO DIE.#The last 20 or so chapters were a constant spiral of: 'Oh this story isn't going to have a happy ending is it?'#She just keeps losing herself! The winged lion plays her like a puppet and she is his perfect doll! So full of conviction!

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jade-of-mourning · 3 months

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sorry sometimes i think about mako and my heart hurts so much. this kid raised himself and his brother on the streets in homelessness and utter poverty from eight through fifteen, promptly after seeing the violent death of his mother and father. he turned to the triple threats because they couldn't survive as a pair of wretched kids without any adult support, and the environment forced him to turn into the exact character that killed his parents in a terrible twist of irony. and after sheer-fucking-luck hits and they aren't homeless anymore, their livelihood wavers on the outcome of what's a literally game to everyone but them; and after things are finally starting to look up and their team is going places and things just might be okay, his gradually stabilizing world unceremoniously expands and everything goes to shit.

and the city that chewed him up and spat him back out, ruined him as a child and took away his ability to stay afloat in a true sense of normalcy as an adult — when it's on the verge of destruction and falling to pieces before his eyes, he gives himself to save it with the full expectation to die. he went from the kid who didn't and couldn't care about anything outside of himself and his brother, to finding redemption for his younger self in his police work despite its injustice against him, to willingly sacrificing himself to a world that had never loved him.

he's a desperate people pleaser, socially and emotionally stunted for the adult he had to be as a kid, unable to navigate interpersonal relationships easily yet still trying his damned hardest. he's intensely and entirely devoted to the things that matter to him and for so long it was only him, bolin, and ensuring their survival — yet by the end, that devotion has expanded to protecting the rest of the world. he starts out entirely self-reliant and ends in trusting the people he cares about to know their own needs, to be able to take care of themselves, to be okay without him despite having spent so much of his life defined by his role in others' well-being.

just. what the fuck i'm such a big fan of this fictional guy and i'm unashamed about it at this point. also let him cry please (if you won't i'll do it i'll let him cry)

#lychee's brain trash #mako lok #mako tlok #sorry for the shitpost i don't do a lot of those i realize #how tf did this guy not had a massive break down in canon at any point #nd like;; he never shows resentment for the unfairness of it all #he doesn't ever use his past to excuse any of his choices/actions that are influenced by it #which is pretty intrinsically linked to his relationship fumbles #he just quietly holds himself accountable and probably mildly despises himself haha #as much as i don't care for the love triangle it really does make complete sense in accordance to his backstory #anyway this is just a roundabout way of me expressing my salt at people writing him off as a malicious asshole lol #i literally cannot articulate the intense complex things his conjured up existence makes me feel #this does not even scratch the surface there is SO MUCH #i need to actually write the fifty fics that exist to my brain otherwise all these thoughts will never see the sun #trust that one day the avatar!mako au will emerge from my drafts;;;#and. you know. that one shot i've had in wip for the past 2.5 years #and the four other oneshots that will probably never be converted into actual words

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grumpyghostdoodles · 4 months

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The Almighty Sheriff!

Save a horse, ride a cowboy~

#respecfully sir: AWOOGA arf arf bark AWOOGA #If this gets 30 notes I'll take his shirt off for yall lol #with his top surgery scars Of course #Ive seen that's a super popular HC for him and I think thats great! Good for him!#Farm boi #no fr working in a farm makes you develop muscles that you didnt even know you had #having flashbacks from highschool when they made us work in the garden for two hours under the scorching afternoon sun #I went to a highschool that was all Ooo we are green thumbs and we shall teach the young ones how to plant and harvest their own food #and my god that shit was so physically demanding mate #i didnt had my diagnosis on how horribly mangled my body was So I had to work in the farm thing like all the others and try not to pass out #even the jocks that were fit and always running and playing football during all the recesses were dead quiet after working outside #and all that those classes did for me was to create a hatred for working in any type of gardening activity so they failed spectaculary lol #SO ANYWAYS my point is Starlo can defo deadlift bags of 70kg\150lbs with one arm without breaking a sweat #undertale yellow #uty #Starlo #Starlo uty #north star uty #myart

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the-abyss-of-fandoms · 1 year

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Me upon finding out abt Resident Evils own John Wick and that there are ZERO fanfics abt him:

I wanted to meet the Grim Reaper/HUNK

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ventiswampwater · 11 months

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Griffin Dunne as Jack Goodman in An American Werewolf in London (1981)

#baby angel babyBABY loml.png #this is MY hellblog and I WILL be making 48737432874 individual posts about this man!!!!#we are past the point of no return!!!! FAR PAST IT!!!!! lmao #an american werewolf in london #jack goodman #griffin dunne #gore #body horror #<-all simulated fx body horror/gore #mine #real canon fact: his horrific wounds aren't actually from being mauled by a weeeirhheeerewolf #they're from the sheer force and whiplash of me hoovering him down. dyson vaccum vroom vroom whirr whirr style on sight #to SHREDS!!!!! you say!!!!!#anyways!! wow incredible!! can't believe i wrote those last three tags in invisible ink!!!#u know when people are like. my fave fictional guy did nothing wrong!!!#and they are talkin about a man who breaks the geneva conventions every other nanosecond #and is guilty of 734298439 crimes against humanity and good taste #which like no harm no foul. that's 37847382734 of my favorite characters. but this guy???#he TRULY did nothing wrong and I'm kissing him always for that #he's like. the most guy of guys every. just a Guy. literally just a dude. just a Human Male™.#and he's my favorite!!!!! tysm for asking!!!!!!

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lunar-wandering · 4 months

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thinking about the fact that MK was probably really REALLY close to going monkey mode during the shadowplay episode...

#Monkie Kid #like when he finally breaks a bit after being tackled by the shadow versions of the others #the electric energy + the glowing eyes + jumping up??#those are all EXACTLY the same as what MK did the first time he went Monkey Mode #so.... he was probably REALLY close to it right then and there #tbh if you really think about it that's happened in response to macaque quite a few times #you could count MK tossing the staff at him in ep9 #as well as him leaping up into the air before transforming in s3 ep4 #Macaque is just great at bringing out peoples primal rage i guess #can you IMAGINE if he had turned into a monkey for the first time during that episode though #without any real buildup to it???#that would've been NUTS

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dyketubbo · 2 months

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properly got the chance to read through the statements made by pomme dapper and ramons admins (plus admin 18s and some of the twitter update admins) and jeez i feel so bad for them but especially pommes admin. something incredibly sinister about focusing so much mistreatment on the admin who comes from the country where the union efforts are coming from while making merch of the character they played. capitalism is the enemy of creativity. whoever the people are that are removing admins without notice, theyre the ones that deserve to be removed from the project. not the egg/worker/animal admins that the whole fucking story is built on the backs of

#imagine being so fucking capitalism poisoned #that youd rather mistreat and kick off the people who help make the project what it is #than pay them for WORKING *DAILY* to keep the story going #what a fucking joke #mask mews #qsmp #hardly anyone is getting on the server. bads taking a break. a big part of why tubbos still getting on #is because of the tubbathon + he has to to work on his project #pierres on mostly to be afk and pac and phil get on rarely while other ccs just Arent getting on the server or are doing other things #and even when those who get on the server get on. they talk about missing the eggs. how much they wish they were there #qsmp did good for itself when the eggs werent around dont get me wrong #but the eggs are a GIGANTIC part of its success. it wouldnt be the same without them #you cant downplay how important they are to the very fucking structure of qsmp #especially because the egg admins also play the fed workers and animal characters #refuse to pay your workers what they deserve and eventually itll all fall apart. just because its a slow process with major corporations #doesnt mean itll be slow for smaller projects like this. thats just not how it works

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bonksoundeffect · 1 year

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The born in Eastern Europe curse of knowing you were doomed from the start

#being told growing up that the west was an utopia thats got their shit together #and you spend your whole life dreaming of escaping your home country and finally getting to *live*#but then you grow older and maybe you travel a little and even study abroad and you read the news and you realise #that it's all a lie #no one got their shit together and the west is just as much of a shitshow except they have money and hide corruption better #and you're left with nowhere to go #double whammy when you're also queer #its just one of those days when you talk to your aunt who worked at a factory during soviet time and listening to her experiences #and realising that the cycle did not break the cycle is looming over your heaf #and also knowing that as a queer person you will be alone for it #personal #anyways fuck bulgaria this country will be the death of me and yet i dont want to die on foreign soil #i grew up here and yet i dont wanna grow old here too

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moeblob · 11 days

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What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?

What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.

#my characters #this just in ! thats why all the deities in the plot have collars and a chain !#its because THATS THEIR DESIGNATED I AM HERE TO HELP THIS WORLD SYMBOL #they cant remove their collars and thats fine by them - its a constant reminder that they exist to serve #deacon really shouldnt get as much crap as he gets in canon for being weird cause the deities are just a different brand of weird #like its not deacons fault that apparently you can say nice neck with no underlying desire #but he cant say hi would you please possess me i want to know what its like to have someone else in my body #like thats really not something you should pin on deacon YET EVERY deity is like wow what a lil weirdo #he also just really wants to please ymber so if ymber asked he would definitely do whatever #on the flip side i need to point out that deacon very specifically doesnt ask ymber for things nor does he pray for things #and it drives ymber up a wall because this is his favorite human who wont ask for anything and he isnt a psychic #he doesnt know what deacon wants or needs and its infuriating cause he exists to serve humanity #and yet this ONE GUY wont let him do things for him #this is very important and i cant believe i mentioned it like a month ago to someone and today #i received gift art of these two and i may never recover #its so perfect and its ymber just looming over deacon telling him that he can pray about anything to him #its also worth pointing out that when i was telling the person about the whole ymber begging for a prayer #its because he realizes that after all this time hes never had a single prayer from deacon - not before nor after the hire #so hes like oh well thats odd hmm #and then begins to talk to deacon like you know people pray to me for lots of things #and deacon looks at him unsure of what this is leading to - did someone offer a weird prayer? ask a weird thing? whatst?#and no - its just ymber saying that people will pray for wealth or an item #or they will express frustration if something is lost or broken despite it not being ymbers fault so deacon just stares #he has no idea what this is going to end on really so he points out 'well you do like to think you break people'#and ymber just ASDFASDFSADF STOP OK NEXT POINT people pray to me to bless relationships with happiness #and thats fascinating so deacon is like wow can you actually do that?#and ymber is so stressed as hes like i mean kinda i can simply amplify the positive emotions in gestures #like if someone gives an item out of love then its blessed #he also admits that he cant mask insincerity or malice so those feelings are not hidden nor amplified #and deacon just is impressed bc that is actually VERY cool

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femmedefandom · 1 month

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so I actually really enjoy the OG SQQ, he is such an angsty and dramatic bitch absolutely stuffed with trauma and terrible coping behind that ice cold veneer and it’s a shame we didn’t get more of him. there’s just so much to explore with him and he gets cut out and missed by his sect exactly 0% which is pretty heartbreaking.

#svsss #shen qingqiu #shen jiu #og!sqq #a guy that had the outline of a protagonist but the realism of life #orphan child taken living on the streets that has seen too much darkness to be naive but he cares for the other children in his own way #tries to survive the streets and being sold to an abusive family #his friend is saved and brought to a better life leaving him behind #he’s stuck playing the gentle toy for an oblivious girl as her brother torments him regularly #he’s abandoned by his friend and he decides to take fate into his own hands #learning cultivation from a rogue and breaking free of his chains the only way he’s learned how #with brutal and efficient violence…all by himself #he murders his abusers and the rogue who pushed him further into darkness and crime #he makes his way to a righteous cultivation sect to see his brother who he thought was lost to him in death…#…doing apparently just fine as the future sect leader of the top sect with nothing but a bright shiny future and no worries #his past and betrayals have turned him bitter and cutting and closed off but more driven than anyone else #he suffers from qi deviation and likely issues being around other men and substandard education to become head disciple and later peak lord #but no matter how high he goes all he sees is that little beaten and abandoned boy who was good enough for no one with no future #all those fancy worries and honors mean nothing to someone who did anything to survive #all the vague apologies in the world do nothing to ease the suffering he’s experienced #all the rumors and snide remarks are worth him trying to explain himself constantly - to justify his existence #and all the self loathing that has built up could have done nothing but explode upon meeting the blessed protagonist #don’t mind me #just in my feels about sqq again #mxtx why did you make this man only to throw him away??

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year

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Mission Failed

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#Poorly Drawn MDZS #MDZS #season 1 #wei wuxian #lan wangji #to wwx’s credit the plan wasn’t a *bad* one #he just had to stop and ogle a man's back for like...2 min too long #mind you he is looking at all those scars and rightfully going 'yo what the HELL did they do?"#the fact wwx breaks character to say he wasn't peeping to lwj is really cute to me #even though he doubles down with the juniors later #to me at least its a way of showing that he respects lwj quite a bit and feels bad to have intruded #I'm a demi wwx truther and it is way too early into the journey for any of *those* feelings yet #I'm aware that's not a popular interpretation and I'm certainly not claiming its the only interpretation; just my own B*)#anyways sorry for the literal cock-blocking fish #I'm trying to keep it sfw for now

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percki · 5 months

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as an appalachian girl lucy gray’s character (and by extension the covey band) really cuts me deep because that’s my people. my life, my dances, my instruments. and within two-three generations all of it is gone.

#in katniss’s time the only remnants of the covey band are their songs #and even those are fading away - she was the only one who knew the valley song in her class #the people of district 12 are cut off from the forest #from the mountains and the green and the creatures and everything is replaced by capitol industry #they did an excellent job casting rachel zegler in the film because her voice is perfect for bluegrass/folk #and it’s just as compelling as it is in the book - maybe even moreso now that i can actually put the words to sound #thg #tbosas #lucy gray baird #the covey #in all honesty i cried when maude ivory sang oh my darling clementine in the book #even though it’s not exclusively appalachian of course but i used to listen to that song to fall asleep growing up #and if lucy gray sang shenandoah… oh you wouldn’t be able to get me out of that theater i’d be there sobbing forever #my dad plays the mandolin and i play guitar and we all know how to sing and that music is such an integral part of me #to see it represented like that breaks my heart #talk tag

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skeletalheartattack · 1 year

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im showing my friend clanker the awesome six eggs and single ice key i found today

#happy easter clanker #for the past three days ive just been playing banjo kazooie for fun #ended originally with a time of 8:22:12 #but that changed when i wanted to try getting the stop n swop stuff for the first time on my copy of banjo #so the final time is 9:32:33 #i forgot how much i disliked rusty bucket bay. good lord that engine room and stinky bad water #every other level was fine. though i got so confused at first as to what jiggy i was missing in click clock woods #it was just the one on the branch at the very top of the tree. i wouldve never found it had i not looked it up #notes and honeycombs though? did those purely from memory #jiggies too i guess minus the single 1 out of 100 #which i think is better than what i was hoping to achieve playing without a guide #i didnt get all mumbo tokens though. i DID get the ones you could easily lose if done wrong though.#i need 7 more mumbo tokens basically to reach 100%#i was also very tempted to 100% gruntys furnace fun (i.e. all squares) but. at a point i was like ''hm. no lets not''#maybe someday. just not then.#i managed to blind guess a lot of grunty questions though #only talked to her sister like. once. and i didnt get any of those questions on the quiz #oh yknow whats fucked up? that one shortcut between rusty bucket bay and mad monster mansions puzzle #you cant break the gate for it if you raise the water level too high #also it took me until today to learn that CheatO's cheats are upgrades and not... cheats #fucked up. but i didnt have too much problems without it. <- he died to grunty once only cause he got knocked off the tower #anyway sorry for the strange photo quality. played on my n64 on an old crt ive had. and i only have a lamp on in my room.#its not as dark as it looks in the image atleast #i also learned that banjo kazooie has way more cheats than i ever knew about #before collecting all the stop n swop stuff. i gave myself the infinite air underwater cheat cause. god.#its so nice to swim around with any anxiety. mostly just used it to swim with clanker for a bit. :).#didnt need it for any other reasons. i done collected everything else girlies #though kid me used a lot of cheat codes in tooie. only because i had a magazine that had all the codes #i 100%'d that one a few years ago i think. jiggies atleast. i think.#anyway. :) clanker

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videogayymer · 4 months

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Whenever I start to feel bad about myself I remind myself that even tho I have had Dishonored for almost 10 years, replayed it multiple times, I have not once spied on Callista during her bath because I respect both real-life and fictional women❗❗❗

#I love games where you have choices and I love to explore those #To find all the possible details that you might miss #But sometimes there's a choice that I just can't make even tho I know it's a video game but I'll feel SO BAD #Like for example #in Detroit Become Human I haven't played the machine path #How could I when Hank and Connor can be friends :(( breaks my heart #Literally first time playing it I got the ending where hank kills himself and I wanted to erase the entire cringe fail playthrough #Off my mind #Like THAT did not happen #Anyways there are probably more examples I just can't think of any atm #Dishonored #corvo attano

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