for the fanfic ask 🌾
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🌾 "A fic you really want to write but you haven’t (yet)?"🌾
I'm not sure if this counts, as this fic is 50% complete.
This fanfic covers the hours after Bastila made her force bond to save Revan's life. The two of them work together to escape Revan's collapsing ship, before Revan becomes too overcome by her head injury.
I haven't touched it in a few months. I've written a good portion, but struggled with feeling it wasn't "good enough."
Thanks for asking!
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i feel like this is a hot take, but it's clear to me that so much of ianthe's outward projection of superiority is a deeply ingrained — really, formative — sense of inadequacy. it's to prove to everyone, even the people who were supposed to love her, who were supposed to inherently value her, that she does actually have value — in fact, she has the most value because look at what she can DO!
and i don't even think she's entirely internalized that, but that kind of projection kind of falls apart if you show even a moment of self-doubt
and i know ianthe isn’t supposed to be sympathetic here, or at least i’m assuming she’s not to most people, but can you imagine the body horror of being inextricably tied to and irrevocably altered by the guy you grew up with and didn’t even really like and who didn’t like you either (but who served you because that was his Role, and, who, even though you’ll never admit it, you maybe even cared about a bit because at a certain point that’s kind of unavoidable - i know she tried to convince palamedes she didn’t, but she is a known liar prone to sentimentality), but it was fine because you knew you were better than him, too?
except now you're not exactly, not entirely better than him, because he's not just fueling you, you didn't get to just use him to become someone who matters. instead, he's part of you, and you still don't matter?
like from what she says about her parents' reaction to the canaan house aftermath, even that part didn't work. she didn't earn mommy and daddy's validation, admiration, anything
and she's running his empire, but she's still third place to surrogate daddy, too. if she even places!
ianthe naberius is very much the consequences of her own actions, i’m not going full apologia here, just imagining being in that position and. goddamn
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why is my dog such a little kiss ass like every time hes hurt he hides it. Okay bro youre so brave good job, id like to KNOW next time when you’ve broken a rib though. Thanks. He once went 3 days with his eye split open and didnt do shit and because his hairs so long nobody noticed. He was literally trotting about acting like nothing was wrong. When we went to the vet she took a picture to show her students. thats how fucked up he was. And then after they removed it he, again, had no reaction. What is he so bad ass for. Tally. Tally. I need you to be a little bitch about things. Tally. Stop thugging it out. TALLY
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So, I drew this back in October 2021 but only shared it on the BoJack Horseman Reddit - I liked the idea of lining up the diamonds in Bojacks family tree, ending up with Hollyhock breaking away from their family trauma. I only realised after the sketch that Honey doesn’t have a diamond but I still wanted her to be at the top.
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Thinking about Sam and how central autonomy and violation is to his character. How many times and ways he had his choice taken away throughout the series. All the things we don’t know about his time with Lucifer, but are also so heavily implied that we do.
Imagining he eventually gets out of The Life and becomes a victim’s advocate. He ultimately decides not to try and pursue law school at this stage in his life—it’s been so long and so much has changed—but finishes his bachelor’s and pursues a master’s in social work. He never expected to end up here: the boy with the demon blood, no longer living out some doomed and twisted fate, helping people. He’s passionate about representing those made most vulnerable and unsafe in their own skin, supporting others as they come out the other side survivors, lending the compassion he’s always struggled to have for himself. Every time he listens to someone else’s story, helps connect them to resources, advocates for their case, he heals a little bit too.
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Can I hear more about Villain Thornclaw? The way you described him is a really cool take on his character.
He exudes a sense of detached ruthlessness, something happened and he just never got over it, most of the time he is a model warrior, but sometimes he says something or gives a cold look, and that hints just how much he is willing to do for his beliefs
The first warrior that Firestar named becomes his most insidious enemy.
He was too young to clearly remember Clawface snatching him and his little sister, but he does remember the way it became an early fixation. His favorite games were always reenactments and play fights, and his father Lionheart and kidnapper Clawface would be characters in them. He often would go too far and play rough, actually biting or scratching his playmate.
We, in the real world, may recognize this as a way kids often process trauma. But they don't have cat therapy here.
And quickly these fixations became unsettling. Brightkit didn't like these games, and their older siblings were disturbed. Frostfur reacted strongly and tried to intervene, but it didn't help the way they wanted.
He got good at hiding it, and he got better at finding other ways to express his fixation. He never knew Lionheart, but he DID know Grandma Speckletail, and she would tell him all about the ways he could be like his dad. When you don't know a person, they can be anything you want them to be.
Turns out if you dress up "I'm obsessively xenophobic of foreign cats and want to rip them to shreds" as "I will ferociously avenge my father and uphold his legacy," suddenly you're golden! It's that simple!
(it's almost like clan culture didnt actually value peace or kindness and just encourages you to channel ur violence towards specific ends)
Thornkit went from Grandma Speckletail to Mentor Mousefur, and she continued to cultivate this. There's a time and a place for aggression. Be good to your clanmates. Use words in camp, not claws. She made a good soldier out of him.
When ThunderClan had a reckoning with Tigerclaw and his ideology in TPB, during his coup, the line of thought that went through Thornpaw and the cats like him was that Tigerclaw was the problem. Who could have known! A shock! Sickening!
...for a while they were "better," devastated by his betrayal, more openminded. But minds don't always trend towards progress.
Eventually, Thornclaw backslid. Let's not throw out the kitten with the tonguewash, here. Yes yes, Tigerclaw was a damn traitor and a hypocrite, but there's worse cats to look up to, you can't deny his nobility, that some of his ideas were great for ThunderClan, that there were lofty ideals he merely took from our grand and glorious history and we can return to those days...
What is so terrible about being a thistle? To lash back when you are attacked? To defend the meadow for you and yours?
We can have Tigerclaw's good aspects without the bad, surely?
And Firestar...
You must understand it's nothing personal. Firestar's a fine cat, for a kittypet. There is no hate for him. But we can't have a leader who stops ThunderClan from engaging in honorable combat. The Clan has become too mixed, and he punished him simply for expressing his concerns. What other choice is there? To do nothing as the clans are destroyed from the inside out?
Bluestar brought wildfire to the forest, to burn it to the ground. Firestar is Thornclaw's natural enemy-- and so is every cat like him.
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"... i have SUCH a headache."
(image id in alt text)
some eden art inspired by events in the dark urge storyline in bg3!! because dark urge eden is so fun to me. i'm like,,, stupid proud of how this turned out. sorry about the head trauma, eden, but this art fucks.
art taglist (ask to be + or -): @lychniscitrus @transmasc-wizard @skitzo-kero @presidentquinn @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @approximately20eggs @albatris @jezifster @rosesandartss @astonishednoodle @anexor @astral-runic @moonflowerrss @kk7-rbs @invaderskoodge @whonsper @chaieyestea
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Blood Practice
As stated in the title, this was one big blood practice piece! I’d been flip-flopping on how I drew blood for a while and never really settled into a good practice for it, so this was me sitting down and just doing it until I liked it. I used to do gradient coloring for different shades, but now I’ve adopted a kind of “cell” colored way of adding depth and darkness to blood. It takes a lot longer than the former gradient style, but it does feel a lot better. Plus, I’ve been slowly accepting that spending a longer time than I’m used to on my art isn’t a bad thing!
Some things that I learned:
I could probably get away with some gradient effects on cloth to show more of a soaked look, but by the time I thought of that it was too late to go back and change things
Blood is lightest to darkest on these surfaces: skin, metal, armor, hair, cloth
For darker shades of blood on surfaces, stick with a lesser variation in shades (note that the blood on the sleeve, hair, and armor only has two shades of red, while the blood on the hand and face have three shades [ignoring lighting])
Blood absorbs light, so make their shadows darker
The red of the blood warps the color of light, so change the light layer directly to accommodate for it
Blood will block the shine of metal
I still need to practice blood on darker skin, so I might try that out at some point later. I. I don’t even know what I’m going to do with someone like Dagon, who just has blood-colored skin (which is what kickstarted this adventure, when I tried and failed to draw him bloody), but I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Closeup below! (Haven’t done this in a while!) + an alternative version without the lighting or blur effects (apart from the lightning)
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