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invsiblestrings · 1 year

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under the cut, you'll find [104] sentence starters from taylor swift's midnights (3 a.m. edition) album. please like/reblog if you find this helpful!

"my flight was awful, thanks for asking."

"i'm unglued, thanks to you."

"you wanting me tonight feels impossible."

"can this be a real thing? can it?"

"and by the way, i'm going out tonight."

"my flight was awful, thanks for asking."

"i'm unglued, thanks to you."

"you wanting me tonight feels impossible."

"can this be a real thing? can it?"

"and by the way, i'm going out tonight."

"i polish up real nice."

"i miss you, but i miss sparkling."

"some guy said my aura's moonstone just 'cause he was high."

"you can try to change my mind, but you might have to wait in line."

"if it feels like a trap, you're already in one."

"never take advice from someone who's falling apart."

"you don't have to answer just 'cause they asked you."

"you wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking."

"did it matter if you got to wash your hands?"

"now that i know, i wish you'd left me wondering."

"if you never saved me from boredom, i could've gone as i was."

"you made me feel important, and then you tried to erase us."

"i regret you all the time."

"i can't let this go, i fight with you in my sleep."

"you did some bad things, but i'm the worst of them."

"i don't start shit, but i can tell you how it ends."

"she needed cold, hard proof so i gave her some."

"don't get sad. get even."

"what if i told you none of it was accidental?"

"if you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

"the first night that you saw me, i knew i wanted your body."

"no one wanted to play with me as a little kid, so i've been scheming like a criminal ever since."

"this is the first time i've felt the need to confess."

"i'm only cryptic and machiavellian 'cause i care."

"you knew the entire time."

"turns out it was that guy you hooked up with ages ago."

"i'm so in love that i might stop breathing."

"romance is not dead if you keep it just yours."

"i wanna brainwash you into loving me forever."

"it only hurts this much right now."

"i'll be getting over you my whole life."

"you know how scared i am of elevators."

"oh no, i'm falling in love again."

"you would break your back to make me break a smile."

"you know how much i hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back."

"how'd we end up on the floor anyway?"

"how the hell did we lose sight of us again?"

"ain't that the way shit always ends?"

"i feel you no matter what."

"i wake with your memory over me. that's a real fucking legacy."

"meet me at midnight."

"i've been under scrutiny. you handle it beautifully."

"i'm damned if i do give a damn what people say."

"all they keep asking me is if i'm gonna be your bride."

"they're bringing up my history, but you aren't even listening."

"i didn't know you were keeping count."

"you said i was freeloading."

"i bent the truth too far tonight."

"do you really wanna know where i was april 29th?"

"good money i'd pay if you'd just know me."

"seemed like the right thing at the time."

"you know there are many different ways that you can kill the one you love. the slowest way is never loving them enough."

"do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?"

"i have this thing where i get older but just never wiser."

"i should not be left to my own devices."

"one day i'll watch as you're leaving 'cause you got tired of my scheming."

"i'm the problem. it's me."

"it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti hero."

"i find myself running home to your sweet nothings."

"on the way home, i wrote a poem."

"this happens all the time."

"everyone's up to something."

"to you i can admit, that i'm just too soft for all of it."

"he stayed the same. all of me changed."

"i broke his heart 'cause he was nice."

"sometimes we all get just what we wanted."

"i never think of him except on midnights like this."

"he's gonna notice me. it's okay, we're the best of friends."

"i hear it in your voice. you're smoking with your boys."

"i touch my phone as if it's your face."

"i search the party of better bodies just to learn that you never cared."

"you're on your own kid. you always have been."

"i have my blood, sweat and tears for this."

"my friends from home don't know what to say."

"everything you lose is a step you take."

"you've got no reason to be afraid."

"sucker punching walls, cursed you as i sleep-talked."

"my hand was the one you reached for."

"i vowed not to cry anymore."

"maybe it's the pat that's talking, screaming from the crypt - telling my to punish you for things you never did."

"that was the night i nearly lost you. i really thought i lost you."

"there's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair. and we will never go back."

"i vowed i would always be yours."

"you're talking shit for the hell of it."

"ask me what i learned from all those tears."

"every single thing i touch becomes sick with sadness."

"you were more than just a short time."

"i've got a lot to pine about about. i've got a lot to live without."

"i'm never gonna meet what could've been, what should've been you."

"did some force take you because i didn't pray?"

"i'll say words i don't believe."

"by the way, i just may like some explanations."

"did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room?"

"can i ask you a question?"

"did you leave her house in the middle of the night?"

"do you wish you'd put up more of a fight?"

"do you wish you could still touch her?"

"does it feel like everything's just like second best after that meteor strike?"

"what's that that i heard? that you're still with her?"

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #sentence meme #sentence prompts #my resources #mine: memes

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fuwaprince · 4 months

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I'm in a terribly dark place after coming home. Sad and tired. Angry. I'm sorry for speaking about my life again. I wish I could post without bothering anybody

I went out last night with the same old dude for a cig run. I thanked him for making time for me and gave him some of the frosted brownies that my stomach couldn't handle eating. I wanted to make it as worth it for him as possible since I know people's help is usually conditional. The brownie offering wasn't enough for him. He wanted more.

I had already been crying all day and night and just wanted to leave the house for a break. Just wanted something to change since I was basically rotting away in bed. I didn't want to be alone anymore. Anybody's company would do. I reach out online often for strangers that want to meet for a once time distraction.

When I make it to the gas station, I get two sodas. One for me and one for him. The girl cleaning the drink machines who is also the girl working the register was so sleepy and exhausted that I had to help her check out my items. She looked at me like she was struggling and she could clearly see the struggle that I was going through by looking at my face. I told her, "enjoy the rest of your shift" and she told me that she really appreciates that and to have a safe night. Seeing her was the best part of my whole damn day honestly. She kept apologizing for being tired and I just kept saying "no, thank you for everything you do", "thank you for working", "thank you for being here". It meant something to hear her wish me safety.

I go back to the guy's car and we drive to some empty lot so that I can smoke a cig. He kept relentlessly trying to force me to touch him, as per usual, by guiding me with his hands and pulling me into him while I'm standing. It was so annoying and forceful. I kept saying no angrily, stepping away and dancing around him with my lit cig to avoid being touched... After a long fucking time and many failed attempts at trying to force me, it was enough to get him to stop. Glad that I didn't play the role he had in mind but I don't enjoy the consequences either.

I thought about my ex who is the only other person irl who sometimes gives me rides. One time he dropped me off and told me things like "I COULD be like them" "I COULD take advantage of you" as if he's doing me a favor by not. Thanks ex of mine, that's so sweet of you to not violate me!

Guy who just got rejected again cried a bunch next to me and mumbled shit under his breath for the rest of the night. Said maybe he should leave then which reminds me of the time he suggested that he should care less because I didn't let him touch me during a car ride that I asked for in the middle of the night.

He gives backhanded ass comments all night long about how maybe I'll finally do something for myself and work harder to live the life most privileged people such as himself just get born into. He tried randomly bringing up how he saw screenshots of texts I sent to my mom that weren't very kind. I'm not sure why. He just wanted to spite me for not complying.

PS I would say that shit to her face in front of anybody and everybody. I would post it on my blog. I don't give a fuck. I don't take any of it back. She failed as a mother of two. She abused a dog to death. She failed to protect me, denied me a relationship with my birth dad and his whole family, lied that her most recent husband was my father and let him abuse me all my fucking life. She didn't even tell me my race out of shame and groomed me to hate "Spanish" people (she's too afraid to say Mexican, idk why). I would've never found out if I wasn't so damn persistent to find out why her stories don't add up. She sabotaged the benefits I was depending on in hopes I starved to death. Literally. Fuck her. When I called her crying that my ex had broken my bones and left me with a bloody face, she told me I was a liar and made sure to tell everyone else I was a liar too (despite my ex OPENLY ADMITTING TO BEING VIOLENT TOWARDS ME. I had to beg him to tell them it was true. She and her friend's whole family still call me a liar). She denied me being raped as a child. She acted like me calling CPS would ruin the family the day I threatened to without really knowing what CPS was. Her husband was going to choke me if I didn't. My mom has done FUCKED UP SHIT. FORCED ME TO LIE AND PRETENDED HER DENTURES BROKE TO GET MONEY FROM HER FAMILY MEMBERS SO SHE COULD FUEL A GAMBLING ADDICTION INSTEAD OF USING IT TO PAY FOR US TO HAVE MORE THAN JUST EGGS AND RICERONI DURING THE 2008 RECESSION. She forged my signature to move me schools when I gained the courage to tell a counselor at my highschool about the abuse when I was a freshman. She told me I was a liar and that I never got raped after the doctor whispered to her during an appointment that my fucking child hymen was broken and asked if she knew why. She told me to lie for her and to protect her husband so that he would still pay for the house he would eventually kick me out of. She said they'd take my brother and I and split us apart into different foster homes if I did and I would never see him again. She threw belts at me on my birthday. She took a whole rack of belts that her husband had in the closet and angrily threw them on top of my crying body on my 18th birthday. She said "you want to hang yourself? Here! Hope this helps!". She left me waiting after school until 9pm regularly. Telling me not to come home even though it was only across the bridge and down a few easily walkable streets. She told me I would get raped if I did. She'd ignore my calls from the payphone because I didn't have a phone growing up. She told me it was because I didn't deserve one and I would use it to talk crap about her. She said that's the same reason she didn't give me braces "why would I fix your ugly teeth? You use them to talk shit about me". She threw knives at me and my little bro when I was 7. She would tear down the whole house, pack it into a box and LEAVE without telling anybody where for so long. My brother and I would cry. And if we went to our grandma's house or knocked on the neighbor's door, we would get punished for "bringing our problems to other people". My mom has done horribly fucked up shit. She would attack me and rip apart all my belongings. All the art I was proudly posting on my empty walls. She'd destroy whatever I put up in her routine attacks. Then she would leave me crying to clean her mess after unplugging the home phones and leaving. I was too young to figure out why they wouldn't work and I remember being so desperate to call my elementary school friends for help. When I told them what happened, she would tell them that I was a liar seeking attention and not to listen to me. When I told people I was suicidal, she told them I was spoiled and fine because I had both my parents (I didn't). I didn't have lights in my bedroom until I was in my senior year of highschool. When I lost my baby, she said God punished me because I'm bad.

He asked if I would share a place with him again and I told him it's polite to offer but no because I don't want to commit suicide from being mistreated in another shitty home situation where if I don't abide by people's every command, they kick me out on my ass... Which is exactly what would happen. I'm not trying to be owned, trapped as a sex slave and threatened to be thrown back onto the streets if I don't play the role he casts onto me. I don't consent to it. Not gonna happen. People who don't understand the situation will tell me that I'm choosing to be miserable by not accepting his offer. People like his mother will say I'm a "bad woman" for not just marrying her entitled brat. That's who she is. She lies to people saying I threaten her and that I'm crazy nowadays. She tried showing off some screenshots of texts that I sent her. I hope anybody who judges me based on a few angry texts know that they're part of the problem.

I'm back home now. I don't want to exist. I don't want to be. I really wish somebody would smoke me out so that I can pass out in bed and hopefully not wake up crying tomorrow morning. I'm coping how I can. I can't keep doing this. I don't want to be here. I'm so desperate to escape my situation but all my opportunities to leave are actually just worse options. I wish I had SOMEBODY here who actually wanted good for me. I feel like I don't have anyone.

Thank you again for following my shitty life story. I'm sorry for being so sad. Things aren't fine. I just want life to be okay

#i need emotional support #i need care #i need unconditional love #i need somebody to depend (not weed)#i need a hug #i need financial support #i need shelter that isn't plagued with terrorism and mistreatment.#i need friends who will hang out with me late at night without violating me #i need an applogy for how shitty my life sucks #i need good parents #i would reslly really really like to smoke with somebody chill so that i wasn't alone and fantasizing about terrible things #don't read this but if you do brace yourself for crap #i love you #babbling

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nathank77 · 1 month

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3/24/24

4:27 a.m

Why is my youtube so dead? I worked so hard on my videos and I have over 160.. I also have achievement hunting and a wide range of different kinds of games.

I mean beyond that my tags are good. I learned the right way to tag. I even posted myself on true achievement.

I have been having random anxiety.. at first it started with my eyes like what if I lose control over one or something bc of a tactile..then I started to think about what the real anxiety was about. I'm anxious about going to my dad's but I jsut won't go tomorrow if I don't sleep well or at all. I'm a little worried about sleep. I'm worried about talking in my sleep but I'm not going to look into it or talk to my Dr about it I don't want to lose my Xanax... to her I sleep like a baby.

I'm going to start my lie... reporting Kristen doesn't mean I can't lie and say I recovered. The only people who have to release information for my report, is Elise, Mike, Erin and Kristen. That's it. So soon I won't hear Behavioral Health anymore.

Although I'm worried about how the conversation will go but I'll just make sure she knows I have almost normal thyroid levels I'm hypo and I have tried to sleep without the drugs many nights and I can't cause of my insomnia and xanax works great and had saved my life.

I think I have anxiety about all the things I have to do although that's coming to an end April 1st minus Kristen... but yea all the incessant drs appts will go down to my t shot and therapy. Minus one ultrasound and a dentist visit I'll reschedule If I have to.

I feel like I have anxiety about nothing and everything at the same time.

I know I'm sick of hallucinating. I've been so productive I haven't gamed since last Sunday... I'm going to game this Sunday... I just haven't seen much of a point.. no one watches my hours are at 12! In 28 days! Thats it. Despite my wide range of content.

I feel like I'm always being attacked by my hallucination. I'm a little worried white mulberry will make it worse but it's a fucking tree extract it's not like I am on antipsychotics.

I'm anxious I'm going to spend every night alone until I end my life. No one swipes on me... no one likes me for me.

I guess overall I feel very unfulfilled with everything in my life. And idk why I'm fighting.

Actually I do, I love myself too much to kill myself. I have tried and I can't fucking do it. I can't kill someone I love this much. I wish I hated myself bc then there would be some mercy but I don't hate myself.

I don't even dislike myself. I hate my brain chemistry but it doesn't define the silly dorky guy I am. I hate that I'm dorky but at the same time it's everyone's else fault they won't give a nerd a chance. I'm pretty awesome glasses and all..

Either way I'm entirely unfulfilled in my life. I watched movies with my mom and I hardly hallucinated then I came in my room and I've been hallucinating just a little bit too much and when I check things and count its like it gets more intrusive or louder... but it doesn't really get louder just more intrusive.

All I know is it's exhausting trying so fucking hard and dealing with this chronic hallucination. I haven't even had one day this week I got to stay in the house. I have Sunday to look forward too... and then 4 days of back to back things to leave the house for. Then new Hampshire since I smoke like a chimney either Friday or Saturday..

I wish I could meet someone, I wish I would stop hallucinating. I wish I wasn't so God damn alone. I wish my brain would stop attacking me 24/7 and give me back my old life in which I'd appreciate so much more if I grow old alone...

So yea. I'm unfulfilled. Anxious and my hallucinations is a bully that lives inside me and even though it isn't scary, smart and it doesn't say much more than happy birthday and my dead name, I mean I feel constantly attacked everything I hear happy birthday or anything. I try not to think so I don't hallucinate my own thoughts...

Sometimes I imagine happy birthday or other things it says and I know if it ever stops I'm going to be traumatized just as much as I am now.

Today when I was with my mother I had a few flashbacks of the earlier days as I spent a lot of time with my mom bc I was so scared all the time. I def have ptsd from it. And it won't stop.

And once it does, I'm going to think happy birthday and it's going to be chronic flashback.

My ptsd isn't why I hallucinate... but nonetheless I def have flashbacks. I don't really have other symptoms. I just have flashbacks to everything that happened and this never ending hell that hasn't stopped and I fear never will.

What if it doesn't? What if I spend my life alone? I truly love myself too much to kill myself. Eventually in a few years if I'm still single and hallucinating, I will mercy kill myself but I'll cry about killing myself. About killing someone I love so much who had so much to give and tried so hard and just wanted his shitty old life back.

It'll be awhile.im incredibly unfulfilled and I look at that chart for the "short term" recovery from psychosis and its 36 months...

36 months is considered short term. I mean I'm almost at chronic on April 10th it's good chronic doesn't mean I'll never recover. All I know is hallucinating and microsleep gave me flashbacks.

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edotfightme · 2 months

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The Harder Path That Could Have Been Walked

So I'm doing a live reaction to my own 10,000 word fic that I forgot I wrote. Link here. You'll probably have to read the fic to understand my reactions because I am not keying them to each part.

A lot of this is me complaining about my own writing.

Let's go!

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What the fuck are these tags? WHAT DO YOU MEAN KIND OF???

Why did I tag sad racoons?

Wtf do you mean "don't summon void dragons" why is that in the tags???

I finally got past the tags.

This is a lot of worldbuilding in the notes let me check how much. 540 words of worldbuilding in the tags alone.

Wtf where did I find that language what does it say?

I can't understand a single word that was said before it translated to English it doesn't really work for an effect like I clearly intended. Plus the paragraphing makes it hard to read.

Bruh the first part was badly written we're starting off strong.

Oh shit, I started recognizing the second part. Ish. Holy shit it's like a core memory was unlocked. I remember thinking this was super cool. Let adult (questionable) me be the judge of that.

Hang on I think I realized why the hook was so shit. I was trying to keep his identity hidden. Still sucked though but good on you younger me. Still too many paragraphing issues. This was before I sorted those out methinks.

Holy shit Technoblade was still alive when I wrote this. Just had a moment while I thought of it.

Eww more text I can't read. Gonna scroll to the bottom to see if I translated it. MF I DIDN'T TRANSLATE FOR EVERYONE???? Where is the fic on my computer I need to figure out the translation- I'll finish this first hold on.

Lmao Tommy got put in his place. Should've put some sort of descriptor on the text so people knew how the Piglin was talking and which ones were talking. It's too intuitive.

"What are they saying?" I wanna know that as well Techno.

I just looked for the document and couldn't find it. The meanings will be lost to time.

Oh shit I forgot about the racoons. I gave Tommy a ton of racoons. That must be the sad racoons I mentioned. Wtf am I going to do with a bunch of racoons???

I wish I didn't press 'enter' so much jfc. Learn to write a paragraph little me. Number 1 thing I'll tell myself if I ever time travel is to write a god damn paragraph. This is exhausting to read.

Ewww I forgot about "pog".

Lol he scared the shit outta everyone you go kiddo!

The references to the bits are actually pretty funny though. I just wish I could understand WHATEVER THE FUCK THE PIGLINS ARE SAYING!!!

Also the lack of racism in this book infuriates me. Don't get me wrong, I don't condone racism, but could they be just a tad bit more racist to properly set up that they are the bad guys. The cult stuff isn't enough. We need to really hate these guys. TREAT THEM LIKE SHIT!

Lmao Tommy just had a moment where he's just fucking experiencing a past life. Which is mood. Like when you're walking in a crowd and you lock eyes with a familiar stranger and you stop for a moment to stare, wondering who they could've been to you. But then the moment shatters and you're left standing with the broken remains of what could never be.

The pacing and plot convenience is shit though (where is the racism? The foreign and silent curiosity of who you are?) let me just continue the fic.

I WANT TO FUCKING READ THIS FIC NOT A TON OF GLYPHS! The whole fic will be like this god dammit. I didn't realize this was my era before I learnt how to write foreign languages.

Haha. The random moment where it's just gibberish and then "fuck".

For those of you who aren't reading alongside me, here's piglin dialouge for reference:

"ᛟᚺ! ᚺᛁ! ᛁᛟᚢ ᛊᛈᛖᚨᚲ ᛈᛁᚷᛚᛁᛊᚺ?! ᛏᚺᚨᛏ×ᛊ ᚷᚱᛖᚨᛏ! ᛗᛁ ᚾᚨᛗᛖ ᛁᛊ ᛉᛖᛈᚺᛁᚱᚢᛊ!"

wtf does that even say???

"... that good old pogtopia look in his eyes" what was younger me smoking???? I can picture the exact expression but jesus christ kid are you alright?

Why the fuck can Phil speak english? Are they all speaking a different language? What is happening right now?

"The door to their cell swung open and Mr "Goes missing and freaks everyone the fuck out but is fine since he joined a cult" runs in." Holy shit little me you fucking killed him.

"Don't worry mate you won't be sacrificed." What kind of reassurance is that? I know it's like that on purpose but it's terrible. The unknown is scarier than the known. That's what I was banking on with Sinners.

"Eventually, Wilbur stopped looking like he was 5 minutes away from war crimes and now looked like he was 2 seconds away from war crimes for a different reason." I'm sorry but these quotes are something else. Where is the comma? You could've made this a beautiful paragraph but it's just a sentence. DESCRIBE THE ANGUISH!

Which corner is Wilbur staring at? Shouldn't he just like... glare at Phil with murder in his eyes? Also why is Tommy the attack dog? I get that Wilbur is roleplaying a drama club goth but shouldn't Techno logically be the protective one here? Or them all trying to shuffle each other behind themselves like some weird fight. And Phil's just standing there confused and vaguely exasperated, like it's someone else's emotions.

Don't make me rewrite this fic I don't want to touch it again.

Lmao them being so distracted by roleplaying drama kid goths and they forget to escape. Most realistic thing I've seen so far.

WAIT THIS IS ME PRE-PANIC ATTACKS THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH.

Plaininnit lol that's actually a good one. Also why are they answering? Make him fight for the info you muppets! But the mental disorders though.

What was the point of that entire prison scene? It looks like it served no purpose. It didn't move the plot forward at all! It just served to show us that Phil can also speak normal? Like- we could've had that later?

At last, a piece of dialogue I think I understand! The X must be an apostrophe then.

Why is Wilbur speaking in percentages? I should've had Techno's chat run a poll and the odds not looking too good.

Why is Phil in the cult council? Did I explain that? Idk if it was in the worldbuilding or later...

Why'd Tommy also shout in another language? What is with younger me and making reading difficult? I can tell why this one was so poorly recieved, nobody wants to translate a book to read it.

Eww I used "snapped" twice in the same sentence.

Why is Tommy suddenly mute now? I know I had a reason, I just can't remember it.

Hang on I gotta scroll up and read some world-building rq.

Wait fuck what is the techno quote??? oh right- "WELCOME HOME THESEUS!" Just got to the part where Tommy mimes his name across.

*to the music of where is the justice* "Where is the pacing?"

Why the music memory thing? I know what I'm meaning for the audience to ask themselves but why did I do that? I should've introduced that later on. It would've made a better plot.

Lmao the warped fungus bit was funny though.

Bruh I nailed the creepy elder thing on the head. I don't know why I'm just good at writing sleazeballs taking advantage of kids (not sexually, just in a way that grates uncomfortably against the reader). I don't know where that comes from.

WAIT I THINK I MIGHT'VE REMEMBERED A PLOT POINT! Are all of Wilbur's snakes lavaproof? Is that why I had the scene?

Oh that is disgusting what is wrong with you little me? I should've tagged cannibalism. It feels like cannibalism.

The pandora's vault Dream being grounded bit is funny and I live for it. Little me had ideas. Offputting ideas but ideas.

Lol Elder took the jukebox.

This is so uncomfortable to read but not in the way an Elder scene is. Just Phil thinking that Tommy's eyes being red means he's happy but it's fake. And Phil hating it when Tommy's eyes are blue is just tragic. Because it comes across as Phil hating it when Tommy is himself and then he's happy when Tommy wakes up brainwashed but Tommy came to him for comfort because he was fucked I just- Little me you are one messed up kid.

HAHA He named Cat "Dream" because it envokes bad memories.

Oh wait that's what the beneath the surface intention was. The surface reference was that the colours reminded him of the people.

Phil dropped Ancient Debris on his foot. Wouldn't it be fucked up if Mojang added a weight limit in Minecraft?

KRISTEN!!!!

The typos in her description though... I want to cry.

OMG KRISTEN IS HIS THING! That's actually adorable though. Little me knows how to make me aww.

More Techno vs the Warped Fungus bit I am living for it.

What is with the blue and red strobe lights that are Tommy's eyes? What is wrong with him? Little me? Explain?

Wait why is everyone just vibin in the castle? What's with that? Also Phil being a moron for Kristen and she's just being a little shit. Dream joined a nether fortress as well lmao.

Oh that's what the warped fungus bit joke was for. So he could still be lava-proof.

BRUH WHY DID I WRITE THAT??? I SPOILED THE PLOT TWIST!

Wait why are we singing ten duel commandments? Did I organize the ending to that song? that sucks.

OH MY GOD I WROTE A CHILD GROOMER??? Holy shit that is foul. I was a child when I wrote this. What the fuck? No wonder why I was getting the heebie jeebies. I literally wrote the Elder as a character that is grooming Theseus.

The wills part was so out of place idk.

Double use of worried kill me now.

Oh damn the Phil and Kristen scene hit. That one definetly didn't feel out of place.

OH SHIT I didn't expect Phil to pull Tommy out of his ass. The jail scene looks important now.

They found him. Chat. It's only a matter of time.

Aww trauma babies. Them all being so traumatized that they're fully on alert and watching for fireworks.

LMAO SHIT HITS THE FAN AND PHIL DIPS WHAT A CHAMP.

Also the fact that I'm pretty sure the Elder was placing Tommy into a drugged trance and basically hypnotising him is fucked up. Younger me you are messed up.

Kristen's entrance was pretty darn good. Like the crows being death and just everyone and everything knowing who exactly is gracing their halls is terrifying and excellent.

Philza for the save finally! Let's go!

Lmao Techno's mates at the Bastion being right bastards and telling the gossip I am living for it.

OH shit, the author notes at the end. The entire flock was there. Damn, Elder was not escaping with his life after grooming one of his kids.

-----<>-----

And that's it! I hope you enjoyed my commentary on my 10,000-word book. I actually found it enjoyable to rediscover my own book. I can understand how other people got put off by it but after slogging through the dialogue I couldn't fucking read it was a decent story. A few issues but overall a fun experience.

#writing #fiction #ao3 #dream smp #technoblade #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #philza #dream smp fanfiction #blind reaction #blind reacting to my own fic #i regret everything #i regret nothing

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glittergutts · 6 months

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Halloween really snuck up on me. I feel bad I didn't get my kids the perfect costume. Lola's is fine, but Ellie really needed a different jacket than the one she's borrowing from my mom, but it's going to have to work. She seems fine with it, so I guess it's good enough.

I have so much cleaning to do today after the weekend it's crazy. I need to fix my house so I can think straight. Also, I need to get back into homeschool for the week, but we might take the day off workbooks and just do some reading and crafts for Halloween. Because it's only 7:30 and I'm already overwhelmed by the idea of workbooks. Also, so much learning happens outside those workbooks. I really want to capitalize on that today.

I have 2 boxes of Halloween sugar cookies I need to make and bring to my moms tonight. I also bought some apple cider to bring. She's getting pizza for everyone so we'll have dinner there and I thought bringing a drink and some cookies would be nice. I'm trying to put effort into everything I do and it usually pays off.

My house is too cold to convince myself to go work out this morning. But maybe I'll go when the heat actually starts working. I haven't exercised in 3 days. 2 of those were rest because I was sore. Yesterday, I just never made time because we were so busy, and after dinner, I was too tired to clean up, so I definitely wasn't going to be able to work out. I don't want to keep making excuses, though. Nothing will change if I can't change, so whether or not I feel like it, I'm going to get enough exercise today.

I just realized pizza and sugar cookies have gluten, but it's a holiday, and before I started this diet, I knew holidays wouldn't matter. It would be cool if I found something gf to have at home before we go so I can avoid pizza but I did really want a festive cookie so I'm going to have one regardless of what I eat for dinner. Limiting gluten instead of completely cutting it today seems more logical.

The past week of not eating gluten and not drinking alcohol has significantly improved my overall mood and energy. I feel a smidgen slimmer, too, so I'm going to try to keep it up. I also was going to allow myself a drink on holidays, but I don't think I want one today even if Halloween is normally a drinking holiday for me. I'm just going to enjoy my kids and maybe watch a Halloween movie today instead of feeling like I need alcohol to have fun. Alcohol isn't necessarily a problem for me, but I just don't want it in my life anymore.

Next, I'm going to ask my doctor for nicotine patches so I can quit vaping. I'm tired of it. It's expensive and I'm always losing it and getting stressed. I feel like I constantly need to vape, and I hate it. I don't want any type of addiction in my life unless it's coffee, and even that I've been thinking about my over indulgence(mainly sugars). Also, I'm not going to stop smoking weed anytime soon. That's just my thing, and it normally doesn't feel bad or addictive. Or maybe I'm just not ready to think about that yet, idk.

I'm trying really hard to get my health in check because I've neglected myself for so long. It's exhausting to constantly try to do better than I did the day before. There's a version of myself in my head, and she's healthy and happy, and I'm going to make that real for myself. Making diet and lifestyle changes and regular exercise are feeling difficult today but I'm fucking determined to make the changes I want to see in myself.

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ventaway · 10 months

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i'm in those days again, where i'm getting antsy about everything. the feeling of taking care of someone is the feeling that i mostly hate. it's not that i'm a careless heartless bitch, it's just the thought of someone being needy towards me or showing me some needines and that i am the only who who takes good care of them makes me sick. whenever my bf having bad days, or just in a mood, mentally i want to get out. yesterday it was kinda it that pissed me off. i've said multiple times i'm tired, and he wasn't kind of letting me go, or just joke about it, and that doesn't makes it better.

i just said to myself that he was starting getting obsessed with the apartments now because he just feels that ( i guess) he wants to get out of his apartment, and that starks as a good idea, to look again. i don't know what's his deep feelings about it, like why can't he be chill about it. but i'll never know if i'll never ask. or it's just the obvious that he's waiting for a long time for a change.

anyways, this i understand, yesterday though, i don't.

it felt like he needed a lot of attention but i couldn't give it to him and when i told him it's was upsetting.but maybe it was simpler ?

i went home, he came back 5 minutes after me, we opened a bottle of wine, smoked cigs, i told him i'm going to make the food, made the food, he didn't want me to watch something on the tv cause it's trash and it distracts him so i watched on my laptop. then, i wanted him to kill a cockroach and he just gave up in the middle, saying like i can't do this right now. i think that's what pissed me off. i get it, he was stressed, he was in the middle of something, but it disappointed me cause he then he gave me the feeling of just that person who cooks but not appreciated, which is not true it's just the feeling he gave me. i can't blame him but also i think that's why i got like tired and didn't have strength to talk my emotions and stuff. is it important to talk about this kind of thing? im not sure.

it's really hard when i wanted a little bit attention out of him and a feeling he's here with me and he wanted the same but we just couldn't give that to each other cause life.

so im going to forgive this one because it was just an exhausting day. and i hope today is going to be a good one.

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pr1nc3ssani · 1 year

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5/11/23 8 PM - I'm in this moment . !!

For some reason, I feel like everything is falling into place. I feel like I hit rock bottom and I've been ascending ever since. It's a challenge, really. I felt stuck in a rut... but I feel that's just the beauty of the journey. Maybe that's my issue. I see beauty in everything- even the things that give me anxiety.

Right now, in this moment, I'm in a love-hate relationship with myself. I love myself just not as much as I did two weeks ago. I've been so focused on myself, blocking everyone out. It sounds like a good thing, but really all I'm doing in that time is being hyper critical of myself. Wondering what others are thinking. In a Youtube video I was watching, this person said you should only be comparing yourself to who you were yesterday. If I'm being honest, I don't remember who I was yesterday. I was probably high as shit, probably dancing. I probably drank a lot of soda and scrolled on Instagram till that got boring too. I probably locked myself in my room to ignore my family. It's crazy the feelings I've been experiencing. As much as I value alone time, I've always valued family time more. Recently I just want to be alone. I'm sure I need it. It's exam season and I'm exhausted. I'm sure drugs don't help my self-esteem. I'm not proud of smoking. I hate the sluggish feeling it gives me during the day, but I do it anyways. I'm unsure if it's habit or just because it makes everything funny. After it fades, I always regret it.

I wish I could still be able to call myself smart. I feel like a dummy nowadays. At first, I didn't care. I was happy... I felt happy and not stressed for the first time in a long, long while. But stress motivates me and it's like when I'm not stressed (TOO RELAXED OFF THE ZA) I just don't have a care in the world. So, I forget to study. I procrastinate and relax. It's nothing I haven't done before. I was never a perfect student. Average or above average at best grades. Terrible attendance. Special plan for extra time on exams. One thing you couldn't call me was dumb. I always aced my exams and tests regardless of how badly I was failing the class. I'm blessed to have parents that don't define me by my grades. Instead, I have parents that define me by my looks.

My grandpa (on my dad's side), the other day, said something to me that almost made me cry. I got into the car because for the first time in yeaaarsss he was taking me to school. I reached for my makeup bag, and he told me I didn't need it. He said I was beautiful. My parents call me beautiful too... when I'm wearing makeup. Actually, if I wait too long to put on my makeup before school, my parents will REMIND me to put it on. LOL... I know they do it because they want me to feel good too, but sometimes it hurts knowing I won't be a natural beauty... not to them at least. The only time I can say I was beautiful without makeup was at the beach on my birthday. When a beach guy told me im "cute asf." It boosted my ego, obviously. And another guy tried to get my Instagram! I don't know what energy I was radiating that day, but Ik felt ugly as shit without makeup. Those two interactions made me feel like maybe I am beautiful without makeup. But then that doubt creeps in and it's telling me I'm crazy for even thinking I'm anything but a dumb toy.

Maybe it's the things I've experienced weighing me down, but I wish I could just erase the negativity. I may not remember who I was yesterday, but I know two weeks ago on a specific day I bawled my eyes out and then felt like a bad bitch. Where'd that energy go?!? I'll get it back. This is the lowest I've felt in a while... but at least I'm blessed. I have so many things to be grateful for and I just don't acknowledge them. Each day passes me by. Earlier I was thinking to myself about why people would say things like "Each day is the same I'm tired of it." My days were never the same! They still aren't (sometimes) but they feel that way when you're high... or maybe that's just me doing the same things every time I smoke. Maybe this is all stemming from guilt for relaxing. I can't help my Youtube addiction !!!

Anyways, these recent months have been a rollercoaster. I feel like I lost myself and found a piece of me, lost myself again, now I'm trying to find my whole self. Like I'm losing then winning then losing, but now I'm on the up! It's just a mindset, really. I have to change my thoughts. I don't think I'm made to be perfect although I wish I could be. All this pressure I put on myself to be great is so unnecessary, but I can't lie, I'd be far worse without it. Like imagine if I was so relaxed all the time. I can't actually tell if I know how to love anymore. It sounds angsty but the cheesy romance stuff doesn't get to me. It almost feels far from me. Same with kindness and compassion for others like my friends and family. It doesn't even feel like second nature like before... I just feel like I lost that part of myself. Obviously, this is no way to live. But, writing all this down makes me realize I haven't lost that part of myself, it's just being suppressed. I never placed so much value on my appearance before. I'm definitely not the only thing in the world. At least I'm self-aware enough to know my mindset, it's not healthy. I should be appreciating every second of life.

Actually, I almost cried in class the other day too (Ik im like rlly sensitive.) because of "The Case Against Adnan Syed" show. My teacher plays it for us in class and there was a clip of Hae Min Lee before she passed (look her up if u dont know) and said in her diary that life was fleeting. It struck my heart strings. I'm sure I'm not living my best life right now. I should get my act together.

#mini rant #diary #digital diary #tumblog #tumblrpost #vent post #mindset #confidence #self love #self esteem #expression #conscious #laws #Journal #Pink #Princess

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not-woman-of-substance · 1 year

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new year?

bit shit really. spent new years with friends but it was lacking the sparkle that festive days usually have. just spent it smoking in the garden really.

everyone stayed the night but i couldn't stand the thought of waking up and starting the new year smelling of a cocktail of smokes, alcohol and regret.

wish i could spend new years on a hill listening to music, or on my own in a big city where anything is new including the people you scream "happy new year" with.

guess i'll have to change again because the earth went round the sun. also i hate fireworks and the bug flying around my room as i write this. my feet are cold and i sort of want to run away but that would worry people and i don't want to be too much trouble.

i've made a new friend though. he's nice and a few year younger than me. i enjoy chatting with him so much and i wish we could meet up more often but right now we have no practice so we don't see each other in person. and anyway people make such a big thing about two people meeting up alone so i don't bother asking because that conversation is exhausting and i don't want to come out to anyone else yet.

i'm going to try journaling more often this year. i don't quite understand how this works, but i think that all the videos explaining it are useless and all you need to do is write what you hear your brain saying down on whichever medium.

i say all of this but i don't really believe in myself enough to keep up with it.

ah well

#journaling #digital diary

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princess-pill-enjoyer · 1 year

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Beuh I just put two and two together.

I hate benadryl. I do

And for that.. I will be pouring water into the rest of the pills I have on me annd wiping my hands of that whole disaster. Jesus it's getting on my nerves. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.

It's gross. The taste is nasty, the side effects fucking suck, and I withdraw HORRIBLY. My eyes get red and puffy, nose gets red, I'm just constantly hot, I risk throwing up just by having an empty stomach, I get so moody, I stress so hard about it I now dissociate when I take em, my memory is worse, its harder to form a sentence

I cant take it anymore. I'd rather look like a horrible, shitty person that does literally nothing and absolutely HATE myself for it too than ever go back. Im done

It was a long and hard journey and I find it a bit ironic that it took me smoking weed to stop afterall

Ever since my attempt I just.. cant. I'm so grateful that I finally found some strong shit to replace that feeling. I'm wondering if im starting a problem with constantly needing to smoke tbh. But seriously... not having to worry about my fucking liver health and ulcers has been a forgotten blessing

I still hate the people of the r/dph subreddit. I swear it is the most useless place in the world. Not only do you rarely get anything but people talking about the hallucinative aspect of the shit but you ALSOO get shamed and sneered at when you actively have a problem. It's the stupidest shit I've ever seen. I felt so lost throughout all this. Slowly learning the dos and donts of this stupid substance was a process I wish I didn't go through

Anyway yeah. Fuck dph I'm tired of dealing with the effects. I don't even like the high anymore everytime I get on it as of lately I've just get mad and hurt myself with it. That's fucking all. And I'm tired of hurting myself. Shit is old

Annnd I'm gonna keep my head straight from here on hopefully. I don't really want to kill myself now that I see it's really the leftover benadryl talking. I uh... don't really want to go back to my old job.. so I'll be applying to some irl places instead. Hopefully that'll encourage to stop smoking so damn much as well. I'm going to call into sallie Mae snd hopefully get another deferment and my uni debt I'll be able to skate by this month but from here on I'll keep up with that better

I'll upload proof this time since I'm finally giving up my strict anonymity thing. Probably tomorrow.. I'm exhausted.

God uh for one, I already semi knew I'd be okay THE DAY I QUIT and I put in so many applications. I even got a response back.. but my dumbass was so hellbent on ending my shit I not only didn't call em back, I blocked they number so they couldn't try to do any followup. Stupid shit 😭

I think I'm glad I did it though. I wanna do something completely different this time and I applied to all office jobs. I know I'd run into the same issue if I do some more work from home officey/customer service shit rn

And hopefully... if nothing else.. I can save the money to make the appointments to get diagnosed. If I can manage just keeping a job for longer than 2 weeks, I'll make enough money to pay off my debts with no problem.

I dont want to smoke, I don't want to play anything, I don't really wanna play or watch anything anymore, I just want to be sad and get some money to get myself fixed atp

Anyways L. I feel dumb ah. I'm ready to move on

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pointofview-stories · 1 year

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dear hiding place

- i'm finally talking to my mom again. i don't like it when we're fighting, i feel like something is tearing me apart. i'm actually writing this on friday at dawn, but i will write about my thursday

i'm getting used to waking up late and it's horrible. (I'll start to warn myself about this)

i think my thoughts are all too fast lately because of my course typing test. I REALLY want that pink or black bunny headphone, whatever. i think about the thousand possibilities I have and how fast i can be. (actually I feel insecure) but I want to do my best. I can't think of anything else oh my god my mind is exhausted. I kind of basically love exams, i like the fact that there's that suspenseful moment to know who was the best. competition is the best thing (and it sounds a little selfish)

well, on thursday i don't go out. i haven't been out for a long time.

i lost a "friend" i made, but she disgusted me. i enjoyed our moments but now i feel better alone. i hate people who piss me off all the time (except my boyfriend)

i'm finding myself in something new and it's nourishing me. I feel comfortable living like this.

i'm very happy with myself. I feel unique and grateful for everything. despite the tense and complicated moments, I feel that now I can breathe.

maybe my only frustration is trying to quit smoking. I had a conversation with my mother yesterday and she gave me good advice. actually great advice but for me it's SO hard to quit smoking. idk, i regret it and i'm not proud.

- well, one more thing that happened was a disturbing dream but so good (sounds weird) but very good i think one of the best dreams i ever had. there was me and someone else but i don't remember, and it looked like in the movies. there is one thing i remember a lot when I was running on a trail so beautiful that it looked like something from the movie alice in wonderland so good. if I dream about it again I don't want to wake up!

and this is it.

i'm going to vent in that language because ifeel more comfortable and safe. bye.

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cheguevaraismydaddy666 · 2 years

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i deleted instagram, deactivated my account, because i can't stand seeing everyone but me apparently doing just fine, spending the summer with their friends while i sit at home with my cat, smoking weed , not doing anything else. i don't really have any friends left. sure, i know people but that's not the same as having friends. i might kill myself this year. i know, i've wanted to kill myself since i was like.....11? but now i'm seriously considering it. idk.... i feel like i messed up too much already in this life. there are countless photos and videos of me being spread around, explicit photos and videos, i was never able to keep friends, my family (except my mom) doesn't talk to me anymore, i finished school now but i don't think my mental health will allow me to get a job or a higher education. not that there's any job i feel like doing. i've always wanted to go to college. study women's studies, classic literature, maybe history or psychology....but i don't think i could ever handle the stress of being a college student. also i have a very addictive personality. there's 5 drugs that i, at some point in my life, developed an addiction to. i only really smoke weed now, but who's to say that i won't get sucked down into addiction in the future again? my bpd got a lot better with dbt, but i'll still suffer from the symptoms for the rest of my life. the unstable self image, the mood swings, the self hatred, the rage, the self destructive urges, the need for attention.....etc.....it's EXHAUSTING. my anxiety is still killing me, preventing me from fully living my life. i hate the way i look, i'm prone to disordered eating. i'm also really whiny and annoying, not many people can stand to be around me for too long.... as far as i can see, my quality of life isn't really good. and i also don't think that could EVER change. i'm tired of spending every day fighting for my sanity. i just wanna be fine. and i hate how there seem to be two different people inside of me, one who hates my guts and wants me to get worse, and one who wants me to get better, who also happens to kind of hate me. it's a constant battle between wanting to destroy myself and wanting to improve. and no matter who is winning, i always know it's no use. i am me. that is my curse. i'll try to have a good summer. i'll try to read as many books from my tbr as i can. i'll try to trip as much as i can. i'll try to spend my last months purely doing things i enjoy doing. and then i'll leave. it just feels right. i don't wanna wait until i'm old. i won't get better. my life won't be what i want it to. ever. and it's just gonna be sad, the older i get. no more teenage angst anymore. just a pathetic, lonely old lady. no. i won't let it end this way. i feel incredibly guilty already. my mom won't recover from that too soon. but it's for the best. i can't go on for decades, with my memories, my body, my mind.....it's too much to handle.

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multifandom-girlie · 3 years

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𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐜 𝐂𝐨𝐧 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟓

Imagine: “Could I request a Daniel Gillies smut like they are both at the comic con(they are both in the originals) and he is teasing her while he answers a question ? Or makes fun with Joseph and he says some dirty things.” Requested by @elijahspersonalwifeyyy .

Pairing: Daniel Gillies x Reader

Warnings: Smut

Words:

Edited: Yes

A/N: I apologise @elijahspersonalwifeyyy for the incredibly long wait. I’ve had this lined up to post but with coursework and writing so much at the same time, it’s made it difficult but I refuse to quit. I’m not a quitter. I’m also not a person to announce a hiatus. Either way, hope you enjoyed ! There is a lot to read I know but we needed a build up and this is one of my favourite comic cons ever, I wanted to do the before hand scenes either way so. Don’t forget to check out my new story “On The Way” !

All of us at the current moment in time were stood backstage waiting to be called on. I couldn't tell you how irritated I was when I went on after Joseph and then Daniel followed. They were both irritating enough to me together anyway but they were in a particularly annoying mood today and I was not prepared for it.

“The man who will break your heart and then rip it out and then probably eat it. Joseph Morgan.”

The whole audience cheered as he walked on and he waved quite casually as he did.

“The women who brings all men to there knees but still can't find anything better to do than drink wine. Y/N Y/L/N”

I giggled as I walked out and I saw the audience screaming and Joseph giving me a mischievous look.

“The brother with a suit for every occasion. Daniel Gillies as Elijah.”

He walked out, threw me a quick smirk and blew a kiss to the audience as they screamed. He pulled his chair out and smiled at everyone.

“Nice jacket.”

“Yeah. Give it up for this jacket ! Huh ? Out of a suit and into a smoking hot jacket.”

“I know right, the one time he's not wearing a suit.”

“Thank you. It was actually a gift from Y/N.”

“Aw that’s super sweet Y/N.”

“Thank you. It was actually a gift for our anniversary.”

“Really ? How many years ?”

“Seven.”

“and very sweet.”

He called the rest of our costars out and we continued on with the panel.

After the host had started the panel with a question for Julie and Michael, it was now a group question for me, Joseph and Phoebe.

“Uh now going to the show, we've seen Klaus and Lily and Klaus and Hayley kind of trying the uh co-parenting thing and it did not really go so well as we all saw. How is Klaus going to be as a parent now that Hayley isn't around and Lily and Elijah have reconciled ?”

As soon as the question was asked, we all turned to Joseph.

“Uh you know, before he alienated his whole family by toasting Elijah's girlfriend, sleeping with his wife and and and cursing the women he thought he was in love with um Klaus survived under this sort of umbrella of Elijah's protection and forgiveness I suppose and so Elijah was always a voice of reason and Hayley was always there to battle it out with him. So, I would say badly. He's gonna do badly as a single parent you know and I think he knows he's kinda messing it up but he's trying. At least he's trying. You gotta give him that. Even if he's warping the minds of his two daughters, one before she's even uttered a syllable and the other before she get's old enough to realise that Klaus and Lily aren't actually together you know like she’s thought for years.”

“Geez. So uh how are are Lily, Elijah and Klaus going to tell her ? Who's going to be the one that does it or will they all do it together ?”

I decided to answer this questions, being more involved with the story line of my children.

“I think that Lily will have to be the one to tell her and whilst doing so will definitely have to be quite cautious when telling Sofia, you know not only because she's only 7 years old but also because she’s thought of Elijah as her Uncle her whole life- and although that hasn't changed it's still going to be difficult since this latest revelation is that, her Uncle Elijah that she adores oh so much is now also 'mommy's boyfriend' or in more formal terms her step-dad. So I think she's going to be confused and it might be quite difficult for her at first but I think she’s mature for her age and that she will understand quite quickly that, Mommy and Daddy aren't together and that despite realizing that her mom was married to her uncle I think she will quickly appreciate the fact we told her because of her understanding personality. “

Daniel quickly leaned forward and spoke before the host could ask another question.

“The moral of the story is, don't sleep with your husband's brother. Especially when not using protection and then deciding to get back together with your husband before trying to force him to sign the divorce papers.”

The whole room suddenly echoed with loud laughter and I couldn't stop giggling myself despite being offended for my character. I hit his arm playfully. He grinned at me and rested his hand on my leg as the room calmed down and he slouched back in his chair a little.

“Very true. So, I mean he can always just compel a few dozen nannies but he does have Elijah there to help him co-parent you know not just with Sofia but with Hope. I'm thinking like shared schedules, late night feedings...Whose doing what ?”

“It’s like we both wake up and the baby is crying and it's like, are you going to get her or am I ? Alright, I'll get her.”

“Yeah no it's gonna be me. I'm gonna do the graveyard shift, I know that all to well. But we gotta remember too, Lily and Freya are going to be doing a large share of the work.”

“Oh yeah, they can do it. There you go.”

I giggled and hit Joseph in the shoulder for the comment.

“Sexist.”

“No, come on. Lily's already been through this twice she knows’ what she's doing and Freya's Switzerland at this moment in time, I think for both of us to be in there...I’m gonna stop talking.”

We all chuckled at Daniel's comment.

“Now we're going to go to audience questions in just a little bit but first I wanted to do something fun. I know it's not the holiday's and I know we don't have a big ass bonfire in front of us but I thought it would be quite fun if everybody kinda thinks about a wish for their character for the future, just throw it in the imaginary bonfire.”

“Well, I'm a human....so I just want to stay alive.”

“Good answer.”

“Oh I forgot you weren't a character.”

“I have wishes for everybody but I don't have a character.”

“I do wish for Julie that Supernatural Judge Judy becomes her next spin off and Exploding Ovaries is the title of Daniel Gillies' next memoir.

“A wish for Hayley would be that Hope can live a normal, happy existence. I think would be what she would want the most.”

“That’s very sweet.”

“Thank you. That's it, I'm done.”

“Uh, I think for Elijah...I mean other than wishing that his girlfriend's wouldn't be incinerated or his wife doesn't sleep with his brother again...”

I giggled at Daniel's comment, despite his comment towards my character and spoke with Joseph, simultaneously.

“Oh, come on.”

“I'm not letting that one go easily. So, uh...I would wish for him. Oh man. I wish for him, I’m actually wishing for something dark, like I sort of would wish for...a great division between the brothers before reconciliation.”

“So that's how it's going to be.”

“So, my wish for Lily is um...to finally find that bloody fertility spell that she's been looking for, for centuries. So that her and Elijah can have children of their own which they want more than anything and move somewhere outside of New Orleans in a nice family home, away from the drama.”

“That’s very sweet.”

“Uh, I wish everyone would just do what Klaus says because he's always right. He knows what he's doing. It's for the greater good. Come on. Get on board with his plans. Everything will be alright in the end. Not everyone will be alright in the end but everything will be alright in the end. Right ?”

“Um, I wish Marcel would cross over. No.”

“I wish for more of your cleavage.”

I couldn't help but laugh a little when he says comments like that. Even though it wasn't directed at me, I knew the double meaning behind it. Daniel has not taken his eyes away from my chest today. That's what breast feeding does to you, I suppose. When Daniel picked my outfit this morning, I was glad. I was going to wear some leather pants and a red blouse with some heels but he somehow convinced me to wear a dress. God was I glad, I actually listened to him. It was hot in San Diego summer heat and I underestimated a little when I decided on leather pants.

“Yeah. We gonna get some dollar bills. Let's see some ones. Tryna make some money out here. Somebody, put on some Usher. Slow jam. Uh yeah...”

“I have a twenty. What can we get for a twenty ?”

“Break it up. Break it up.”

“Make it into ones and let's make it rain.”

“If I throw loose change at you, can I make it hail ?”

“Alright, moving on. Next subject.”

“Um, Davina is a witch and I think it would be really cool if she could fly. So, whether it's a broomstick or something else...I still think it would be really cool.”

“That’s a good one. Um, mines pretty selfish. I hate shaving, so I wish we could work something in so Vincent could have like a huge beard.”

“I changed my mind, I want superpowers as well. Three one foot long, retractable adamantine claws from each hand please.”

”Why is the camera on me ? I wanna fly. I wanna see these guys fly. I want them charging up walls and...we don’t have the budget for that. I wanna see more vampirey stuff. Why am I wishing again ? I exhausted my wish.”

“You guys can make as many wishes as you want. This is your made up tradition.”

“It’s raining wishes on you.”

“Raining for your wishes.”

“God this is embarrassing.”

“T it up.”

“T what up ?”

“What do your need for a rain of wishes ?”

“What happens when it rains ?”

“An umbrella.”

“What ?”

“An umbrella, sweetheart.”

He closed his eye in frustration and dropped his upper half into my lap, whilst we all laughed at his slow mind.

“Oh shit. Umbrella. So sorry, so sorry.”

“The rain, the umbrella...”

“Dropping hints. Awesome, alright well let’s turn it over to some audience questions.”

“Hi, my name is Julia and first I'd like to say, I love you all. Especially Joseph Morgan and Danielle Campbell.”

“Thanks. Thanks a lot.”

“Don’t worry, I love you Daniel.”

He squeezes my thigh and leans in to kiss my head. Before deciding to move his arm around my shoulders and hugging me into his side. I rested my hand on his thigh as I hugged him back.

“I love you too, beautiful.”

I blushed and smiled, whilst the audience all awed. Which prompted the red in my cheeks to darken. I sat back up straight and he returned his hand back my thigh, yet this time a little higher up and whilst stroking the fabric of my dress up my thigh.

“My question is for the whole cast and it is, if you were able to play another role...who would you wanna play ?”

“On our show ? Or just in general ?”

“Yeah. On The Originals.”

“I..I think I would choose Hayley. The Hyrbid female. She's a pretty cool character. Your welcome.”

“Um, I would play...Klaus. Mind you probably better but...”

“I don't wanna play anybody else, I wanna play Elijah.”

“I would play, Elijah....purely because it would be an absolute blessing to wake up that hot everyday and he's a pretty awesome character.”

He smirked at me and moved his hand further up my leg, his fingers now resting at the hem of my white lace thong. I gulped a little but held my composure. It seemed hat every time I complimented him, he got further up my leg and closer to my core. Like a game...and I was more than happy to play.

“If...If I had to absolutely play someone else uh, I would play Oliver because I just think he needs to be brought back to the show...and uh #saveollie. Bring him back !”

“Uh, I would play Elijah because I think I look damn good in a suit.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Buttoned up to the naval.”

“There we go. I know it's distracting for you, my body.”

“I cannot concentrate. I refuse to continue.”

“Um, I would play Genevieve. I thought she was a really cool character. She was a lot of fun to work with.”

“I see some Genevieve fans in the house, awesome.”

“Um, yeah I think I might choose Elijah too. I think uh, it's a really cool character that Daniel has created.”

“They both quietly believe they can bring more to the role, is what they’re saying. Not quietly, they're saying it to an audience of like three thousand.”

“Only because of what you've done with it Daniel.”

“Hi Guys, wow that's loud. I'm so sorry, my name's Marissa. First, I want to say Daniel I watched saving hope and your death killed me. I'm so sorry that you died.”

“Yeah, tell me about it ! I was gutted.”

He squeezed my thigh a little more and started making circles with his finger on the spot closed to my core.

“Oh my goodness.”

Yeah, oh my goodness indeed. He really knew how to make a woman feel good, without hardly doing anything...quite literally.

“Um, so my question is for Julie and Michael. Um, I was wondering...there’s so much violence on the show and so much adult stuff and I was wondering if the network or the studio has ever told you, 'No you can't do that’ ?”

We all started laughing in reply to the questions.

“Oh, we have a story about that don't we...Leah.”

“I don't wanna tell the story again.”

“There's things that we did that couldn't be shown.”

“So here's the thing about broadcast television is that, apparently you can decapitate someone, you can drive a knife into a vampires skull, you can rip out their heart, you can shove a pencil up their nose, you can stab them a million times with glass but when stimulating a sex scene...if there's any movement at all that one would define as thrusting...”

“No thrusting. Pull back on the thrusting.”

“A motion that originates from the hip.”

Charles decided to get up and share a demonstration of thrusting and everyone on stage started laughing and the audience started to scream. Daniel gripped my thigh a little harder, due to jealously. I didn't have to ask him what the reason was, I already knew. At the best of times, he was not a jealous person. He loves and trusts me and Charles a lot and he knows nothing would happen but when he's horny and in need of some attention...he does get jealous. Understandably so, I know because we both do. His pinky finger then started to stroke me, through the lace of my pants.

“It’s difficult because I don't actually remember thrusting being in the script. That was something the actors chose.”

“It was a creative choice. I mean, look at Charles...you would do the same thing. Also, let's not forget the originators of this little problem.”

The audience stayed silent, indicating that they weren't sure how to react to her last sentence. I leaned into Daniel and rested my forehead against his bicep in retaliation to Leah's comment. I couldn't stop giggling, despite the finger rubbing against my wet thong and the blush rising on my cheeks. Daniel was using his other hand to pinch his forehead, whilst chuckling.

“Come on guys, explain it.”

“So, what happened was we were doing the flashback sex scene of Elijah and Lily's wedding night. Daniel got a bit too excited and started to thrust a little and I tried hiding it by opening my legs a bit more.As I did, my underwear snapped because it wasn't as flexible as I thought. So, I had to pay a fine for showing too much skin because the sheets had come off of me a little and we hadn't realised. Not that it was much it was just a little side boob, still.”

“So, it wasn't the thrusting ?”

“No, ironically it wasn't.”

“Let me tell you. There was some excellent, simulated thrusting in those scenes. That was cut, per broadcast standards. While, I think in the same episode seventeen people got brutally massacred. It is what it is.”

“Some of the best thrusting. I hope it makes the special features.”

“Charles called Leah, for some extra rehearsal before hand.”

“Hi I'm uh Skylar. Um, I know that between you there has been a myriad of different supernatural creatures. Uh, Phoebe...I think you've been a werewolf, a witch and a mermaid. Uh, in really life...What would you wanna be ?”

“Well, I would say witches because witches don't have to turn on a full moon and they don't have to be like plagued by vampire...the demon’s of vampires. They can just have all the power and really cute outfits...and if I can look more like Danielle Campbell. I'll take it.”

“H20 rocks!”

“Thank you ! Well actually I-Im gonna say a mermaid then. Like, life is better under the sea and I think I would be a mermaid.”

“I don't know-"

“Merman ?”

“Merman. No, I...um. I'm pretty pervy...so I'd say like invisibility.”

“Um, so I'm not pervy at all unlike Daniel. I do think that Heretics are soooo cool though. Like, they can do magic and they are vampires but still have all those human capabilities...like procreation. So, yeah a heretic.”

His hand stopped stroking me through the lace of my panties suddenly and I instantaneously felt a cold gush of air race up my well-shaved legs and punching me in my core. I felt the frayed edges of my lace tickling my upper thigh, where they shouldn't be. Hinting that my favourite pair of thongs had been snapped. I turned to Daniel and narrowed my eyes at him whilst he just continued the panel, like nothing happened. His hand when back to it’s original position resting on my thigh, clearly in punishment for making a comment about his pervy answer.

“Nah, I'm happy where I am. You know, Hyrbid. Definitely not, invisibility. When I joined the show, I thought I was only gonna be a vampire so I was thrilled when I was a werewolf-vampire. I'm sticking to my guns.”

“I like being the token human. I'm just gonna like stay there. Create more mermen.”

“Season three, season of the mermen.”

“The next spin-off.”

“That would be so cool, let me be a mermaid. I would kill it .”

Joseph put his arm on the back of my chair, looking at me after I made my wish known to be a mermaid.

“You better not cum in the water.”

The entirety of the room ruptured into fits of laughter. Even Daniel, who had now moved his hand closer to my core again. Letting his fingers stroke my entrance. Meanwhile, I continued laughing...ignoring the feeling of my husband’s gentle and sensual touch.

“I’m blushing.”

“Hi, I'm Katie. If you were to go to Comic Con, on the floor. Is there anyone you would dress up as ?”

The first thought that came to mind was pleasing Daniel. If I said him there was no doubt he'd give in. The problem was, was it a risk I was willing to take...at a comic Con in front of three thousand fans and some of my closest friends.

“Daniel Gillies.”

Every one repeated my answer and whilst doing so I was discovering that I was unequivocally correct with my thought process. Sure enough, Daniel plunged his fingers straight into my entrance leaving me to deal with the resounding squeal that ripped from my throat. Causing Daniel to laugh at me, influencing Joseph to join in.

The final question had just been answered by Daniel and I was leaning my head into Daniel's shoulder to help with controlling the moans erupting inside me. The warmth in my stomach has just appeared as quickly as it vanished again, Daniel had stopped and chuckled at my irritated expression. Nevertheless, I got up and shoved my now broken thongs in Daniel's jacket pocket and waved at the fans with a bright smile on my face as we all walked off. We had just got out of the fan's eyesight when a hand delivered a hard slap to my barely covered assume cheek as this dress was so short. I span around and grabbed his wrist before dragging him further backstage, behind a screen next to the dressing rooms.

“What do you think your doing ? Playing around like that during a panel and then not even letting me finish ?!”

I didn't even let him reply as I dragged his face down towards mine and kissed him lustfully. His hands wandered down to my waist and clutched the already tight fabric tighter around me. The other unoccupied hand drove down to my ass and clutched it, allowing the skirt to rise up. Exposing the bare skin of my cheek. I used one of my hands to undo his zipper before pulling his dick out and stroking it. Clearly, he was eager because before I knew it. I was pressed up against the wall, sticking my tongue down his throat and moving myself up and down on his already hard cock. What we hadn't realised that the screen had moved, as Daniel had knocked it with his foot when walking to the wall. He pulled away and smirked at me.

“You told me we wouldn't have public sex after last time.”

“This is the last time Mr Gillies, I'm promising you.”

We smiled at eachother and kept going against the wall. His tip caused some tension when arriving to a depth he hadn’t before but it was a pleasurable one most definitely. The lips of my pussy enveloped his tip and he ran it through my drenched folds before deciding to plunge into me once again. I was about to scream and he knew I wasn’t good at being quiet when he fucks me so good. I clung onto him hoping it would relieve tha ache he’d created by filling me so good. He sat down on a chair that was sat in a chair of the little area backstage. Sitting down, allowed his thrusts to speed up rapidly and his face to rest in between my smooth and nearly covered beasts. He bit my hardened buds through my dress and caused a shive of please to shoot down to my core and promoting me to burst.

I then decided to let go and couldn’t help but let out a gratifying scream for him. I was coming down from my high and the screen pulled back. A man that looked about 40, eyed us disgusted and told us to move it.

“Well atleast I won the deal ?”

“Remember the deal we had ? If I was right about is having sex in public again no matter how much you denied that we wouldn’t. Your were very adamant.#

MASTERLIST

#imagines #the vampire diaries #the originals #to imagine #tvd imagine #tvd #the originals imagines #elijah mikaelson #daniel gillies x reader #daniel gillies has ruined me #daniel gillies smut

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