#Boodle Fight
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That Boodle Fight was a hit. I am stuffed
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#boodle fight#hotdog#ihaw#barbecue#grill#grilled chicken#grilled pork#grilled fish#pakwan#watermelon#cake
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Boodle Fight!! VILLAGE FOOD in Philippines - Unforgettable Filipino Food!!
Gather ’round, adventurous food enthusiasts, as today we embark on a delightful culinary journey to the enchanting landscapes of the Philippines! In this captivating YouTube video titled “Boodle Fight!! VILLAGE FOOD in Philippines – Unforgettable Filipino Food!!”, we uncover the secrets of Filipino cuisine that will leave your taste buds dancing in delight. Brace yourselves for a feast that…
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The last woman standing 🤣🤣🤣
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Sharing the full piece I did last year for Wanderlust: A JJK Travel Zine! I brought them to Palawan :0
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Apparently in Spanish lechon means piglet
Yeah Ik
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breaking news
roronoa zoro (opla) x journalist!reader
♡—you always had a feeling the straw hats could change your life, but meeting zoro shifted the entire world on its axis.
word count♡— 5.4k (omg?)
genre♡— fluff
content notes♡— opla zoro, afab!reader is a journalist whose boss is evil, inaccurate journalism and newspapery, mild violence, kissing/making out, alcohol consumption, long intro so start might be slowish?, no use of y/n, only slightly proofread
also on♡— ao3
author's note ♡— get yourself a man that can kick ass and let you use his arm as a tape dispenser
A stack of papers are slammed onto your desk. The pages are riddled with edits and red marks. Towards the end of the document, the person just started crossing out everything you had written.
“Stories like that won’t sell. It’s highly inappropriate.” Chief Editor Tildie scowls down at you. “Shame that you waste your talents on such rubbish.”
“But it’s not a story.” You mutter under your breath, not meeting her gaze.
“Did you say something?” She bends down, bracing one hand on the backrest of your chair.
“...No, ma’am.” Your response is barely a whisper, but she relents and begins to head back to her office.
“Stick to the politics and gossips, hon. If you know what’s good for you.”
You almost break your pen in frustration.
All the other journalists in the room witnessed what happened, but they all keep their heads down, buried into their typewriters and desks. No one ever tries to fight for things to change anymore.
The Oceanic Times is such a joke. Why would a newspaper company named after the ocean not be allowed to publish anything related to it? Some people have said that the current chief is running the company to the ground. You’re beginning to think it’s true.
Running your palms over your face, you take deep breaths until you’ve calmed down somewhat. The first thing you see when you uncover your eyes is your article. The one you were so excited and passionate about.
You wrote about Orange Town, they had been suffering after the Buggy Pirates invaded. Everything was destroyed and the residents were imprisoned, forced to be the audience to their own home’s ruin.
Things had stayed that way for months, until the people were saved by pirates. It sounded so unlikely to happen, and yet it did.
Knowing a scoop when you saw one, you sent a letter to Mayor Boodle along with some berry to donate for the town’s restoration. You tried asking if he wouldn’t mind being interviewed on what happened.
He agreed. The result was an excellent piece on how a small group of rag-tag startups got the better of Buggy the Clown, saving an entire village from his reign of terror.
…And yet, this is what you get for your hard work. Your fingers trace the red marks and strikethroughs Editor Tildie made.
You know you’re right, people around here could do with some accessible, actual news and well-researched information. But simply knowing what’s right doesn’t come with the power to fix things, doesn’t it?
The window by your desk offers you a view of the sun setting. It was one of the things that thrilled you when you first started, having a desk on the second floor. You were so determined back then.
It’s getting far too difficult to breathe in here. You grab your pen and treasured notebook, leaving the newsroom behind.
Your feet take you to the harbor. It’s quiet, with only a few fishermen around. You find yourself gazing out into the sea. The waves push and pull and ripple in patterns that calm you down.
For a world with so many pirates, and many enthralled by the idea of adventure, you’re sure your writing will be appreciated… It will be appreciated here, eventually.
Once, you thought about moving somewhere else. Maybe to a bigger city and work under a more renowned publisher. But you like this town too much for that. There’s a good balance of things; it has all the amenities of a developed town, but is still close enough to adventurous waters.
This place could be an excellent hub for information. If only you got the chance to show others what you dream of.
You know some people who are eager to leave, however. Some of your friends would give anything to work in some big city paper. You even heard rumors of Chief Editor Tildie applying for work in the East Blue Daily.
Oh, what you’d give to write about real news and the feats people are achieving. Letting out a sigh, you wonder where those upstart pirates are now.
Thankfully, you didn’t have to wait too long to find the answer. One of your co-workers bursts through the door a few weeks later, holding onto the wall to steady himself and catch his breath.
“Arlong has been defeated!”
Everyone in the newsroom stops what they're doing. Even Chief Editor Tildie looks shocked.
Apparently, Marines were chasing down a group of pirates, and those same pirates saved a village in the Conomi Islands from Arlong.
Pirates saving people? Could it be?
“It’s a new pirate crew, but they’re really powerful!” Your co-worker explains further. “Roronoa Zoro is second in command, and their captain took down Arlong by himself!”
“Does the captain wear a straw hat?” You ask, but something already made you sure he did.
“Yeah, here!” He passes you a wanted poster.
A boy is smiling in the photo, wearing the same straw hat Mayor Boodle mentioned to you.
“Is that why there have been more pirates around lately?” Editor Tildie says gruffly. “Darn sea lovers should stay at sea.”
No one comments on how Editor Tildie curses like a pirate. You value your jobs (and lives) too much. (But everyone thinks it.)
Another thing no one mentions is the excitement that seems to buzz through everyone. Like an electric current, making the air feel alive and crackle with an energy you haven’t seen in this newsroom in a long while.
News is about to break. You have work to do.
Your research leads you to trace the Straw Hat Pirates’ steps. A map of the East Blue is laid across your desk, and you begin to plot the locations where they’ve been. Holding your breath, you analyze their trail.
It might not be so far-fetched to say that they could show up here.
You think of the article you wrote on Orange Town. It’s still there, you’ve kept it safe in the trusty notebook you keep strapped to your waist. You couldn’t bear to just scrap it. But, maybe there’s hope for it after all, now that those same pirates rose to prominence in such a short amount of time.
“Still working, huh?” One of the photographers asks you. “We’re all headed for the tavern if you want to join us.”
You smile, but can’t imagine leaving your desk for the foreseeable future. “Thanks, but maybe another night.”
Everyone else leaves, the only light left on in the office is from the lamp on your desk. The night blankets the newsroom in shadows, and you pour over your research in the welcomed silence.
A loud crash is heard outside.
Someone is getting beat up. You were just about to ignore it and chalk it up to a brawl between drunks, but you hear the local librarian yell out in fear.
You sit still for a second, steeling your resolve before rushing out to the scene. You may not know how to fight, but you should at least help the old man get out of there.
The library is the building beside the news publisher’s, so you see everything the moment you step out of the door.
Thankfully, the old librarian seems to be protected by a green-haired swordsman. He stands menacingly against several thugs, his sword glints under the moonlight.
Not that the thugs look like they have a chance despite their numbers. Two of them are groaning and wounded on the ground, the other two are hiding behind a cart full of books.
The green-haired man raises his blade. “Cowards.” He spits out, looking severely unimpressed.
It seems he intends to strike the other two thugs where they stand, but the librarian begs the swordsman not to damage the cart or the books.
“Please!” The librarian wails. “Not the books!” Are his priorities on straight, you wonder?
“I don’t really care about that.” The man says, getting ready to charge at the men—through the books.
“Wait!” You yell, unable to just stand there. They all look at you with varying degrees of ‘who the hell is she?!’.
You use their surprise to your advantage, running quickly to the cart and pulling it out of the way. Everyone watches, astonished, as you take away the only thing that separated the thugs from the swordsman.
Said swordsman merely shrugs. “Fine.”
He’s so fast his form almost blurs. The thugs scream in fear, and for good reason. They’re cut down in two seconds.
“Oh thank goodness!” The librarian sobs, cradling the books that did not get shredded.
“Would you like some help carrying those inside?” You ask him, but he declines.
“No, it’s alright. Thank you for saving the books my dear. Pirates just can’t seem to fathom not solving things with violence.”
You’re baffled at how the old man can smile at you then look at the swordsman in disdain in the same breath. Shouldn’t he be grateful his life was protected?
He leaves, heaving the books into the library, but you stop him.
“No, hold on, let us help you.” You try again. “We insist.”
“We do?” The stranger asks incredulously.
“Yes.” You say, gesturing at how the old librarian’s arms are about to give out.
The swordsman looks displeased, but retrieves the books anyway.
“And you, sir,” You turn to the librarian. “You should thank him.”
The old man sputters.
“Don’t bother.” The stranger says. “Don’t even know why I did.”
The librarian huffs, but his glare falters this time. “...Thank you, lad.”
The green-haired man blinks. Like he doesn’t know what to do after somebody thanks him. It’s strangely endearing.
You both help the librarian get settled inside. It’s still painfully awkward, but you like to think that things turned out well.
The two of you leave the library together. Being in closer proximity, you get a better look at him. He’s exceedingly handsome, but what catches your eye are the three earrings dangling from his left ear.
Your eyes widen in recognition. “Roronoa Zoro.”
“...Do I know you?” He asks, looking at you impassively.
“I’m a journalist.” You say instead of answering him, as you introduce yourself. You point to the newspaper company next door
“Hm.” Is all you get from him.
You expected many things if you ever met any of the Straw Hats, but extreme disinterest isn’t one of them.
“Do you think I could ask you a few questions?” You ask, hopeful to convince him.
“You get one, and you just asked. So I guess we’re done here.” Zoro says. “Here’s my question, where’s the closest place I can get a drink around here?”
Undeterred, you try to meet him in the middle, “I have a bottle of whiskey in my desk drawer with your name on it.”
When he doesn’t reject you outright, you realize you have a shot at this.
You step towards him, eyes not leaving his as you make him an offer. “How about, I get you a drink, and you answer some questions for me?”
The confidence you feel surging isn’t normal for you, but you lean into it. When else are you going to get this chance?
Zoro studies you, more seriously this time. You can tell the moment his eyes shift that he must see right through to you. That you’re no fighter, but you’re determined. You’ll follow him around town until he gives you what you’re looking for if he disagrees.
To your delight, he nods.
But when you enter the building, you find something that you didn’t expect.
The entire place looks like it had been ransacked. You gasp in horror at the mess. Papers were strewn everywhere, all the desks were in disarray. How could this have happened in the time that you were gone?
Zoro steps in front of you protectively. A hand hovers on the handle of his blade as he surveys the damage. You can’t help but feel responsible for this.
You should have locked the door. You should have just called it a night. You should have just joined your friends for a drink and worked in the morning like a normal person. You should have—
“This isn’t your fault.”
Zoro’s back is still to you. For a while, he simply stays still.
Then he says it again. Slower this time, as if to emphasize the words, “This isn’t your fault.”
It’s not much, but it manages to make you pull yourself together. He’s right, it isn’t. So you have to find out who did.
You and Zoro head deeper into the building, taking careful steps in search for clues.
Zoro eyes the staircase leading to the upper floor, and he holds out his arm to block you from going any further.
“What’s wrong?” You ask in a very hushed whisper.
He points up the stairs, where you see the shadow of someone moving.
“I’ll deal with them. Stay here.” He instructs, but you grab his arm before he can take another step.
“No!” You whisper-yell. “I’m going too.”
He gives you that same, unimpressed expression he seems to be so fond of. To be honest, you’re becoming fond of it too. The effect on you is waning, if that's any indication.
“Why do you always look for trouble?” Zoro sighs. “Do what you want.”
Is it because he’s whispering, or does his voice lack its previous edge when he spoke to you?
You don’t have time to think more on that, however. Zoro begins ascending the stairs. You’ve never been more thankful that the steps are carpeted, your shoes would have clattered loudly otherwise.
Together, without a sound, you reach the second floor landing. It’s dark, but the damage you see is no better up here. The intruder really left no surface undisturbed.
Sounds of someone opening and shutting drawers alarms you. Zoro, very carefully, pulls out his sword.
More alarm bells start to ring when Zoro approaches the sound, and you realize it’s coming from your desk.
Zoro holds out an arm again, giving you a look that says stay put this time. Fine. You hang back while he impressively sneaks up behind the intruder without a sound.
The person is rummaging frantically through your desk, making noises that helps Zoro conceal himself. A document falls to the floor, and the shadowed figure kneels down to pick it up.
Zoro points his blade to their neck before they can get up. They freeze.
You turn on the lamp on the desk nearest you. The light illuminates the room enough that you can finally see the intruder’s face.
Only, it isn’t an intruder.
“Chief Editor Tildie?” You gasp, confused.
Your boss looks like a deer caught in the headlights, but her expression suddenly melts into relief.
“Oh, I’m so glad you two got here! Everything was a mess there were, uh, robbers! Yes, yes—nasty thieves got into the building.”
That doesn’t make any sense. What would thieves want to steal from a publishing business anyway?
She cuts you off when you’re about to point out her suspicious behavior, “There were so many of them, I have no idea how they got in! I was going back to pick up some things, and the place was already like this.”
“My dear…” Editor Tildie looks at you with mock concern, “You didn’t leave the door unlocked, did you?”
How dare she?
“You’re so full of shit.” Zoro tsks, inching his blade closer to her skin. “I would have noticed if a bunch of guys went through the front door.”
You blink when the puzzle clicks in your head. “She was in here the whole time.”
“You can’t prove anything, you wannabe writer!” Editor Tildie bursts out, her expression once again shifting back to panic.
“Who do you think they’re going to believe?” She glares, daring you. “You? Some no-name writer? Or ME, the Chief—”
Zoro knocks her head with the hilt of his sword. She falls with a thud.
You run a hand through your hair, letting out a long sigh. You’re exhausted, but you should really investigate why your boss did all this then try to put the blame on you.
Like the others, your desk was trashed. Even your notes are scattered all over the floor. The map you were painstakingly studying was torn in half. But strangely, the other things you had been working on are missing.
Zoro walks around the desk. “Over here.” He says, having found something.
It’s a large duffel bag, filled to the brim with papers of… rejected articles? You sift through the contents, they all seem to be your co-workers’ recent work. You remember proofreading several of them, everyone has been doing so well lately.
But why would the Chief Editor steal these after rejecting all of them?
“Could you watch her for a minute, please?” You ask Zoro. “I need to check her office.”
Zoro looks at you strangely, you can’t quite pinpoint his expression. It’s half ‘you’re leaving me here, really?’ and half ‘will you be okay?’.
“Scream if you get into trouble.” He sighs, settling into your office chair. “‘Cause you eventually find it.”
You leave, shaking your head fondly. So he does care.
Inside the Chief Editor’s office, things are a mess as well. You suspect that was probably done to throw investigators off. But she left some things here, and from there, it’s easy to put together what happened.
A briefcase sits on her desk. It’s left open, with several letters lying inside. They’re all correspondence with famous newspapers.
‘The East Blue Daily would be delighted to host your article on the events in Orange Town. Please submit a draft at your earliest convenience. We are excited to...’
You have to set the letter down and stop reading. This bitch was planning to steal everyone’s work. Fury rushes into your head as you let out a disbelieving laugh. How could she do this after tearing everyone down?
It finally makes sense why she never greenlit any of the best articles. She probably sent them to other companies claiming they were her original work.
Judging from the other letters and her packed bags, she likely intended for this to be her last stunt. The Oceanic Times would sink into nothing, and she would be off to work for some famous paper.
And she was right. If you and Zoro hadn’t caught her, no one other than your co-workers would believe you that she did this. And none of you were reputable enough to be considered credible. You would probably have to take the fall for leaving the door unlocked, just like she planned.
Zoro calls out your name when you’ve been in here for a few minutes. Despite how drained and tired you feel, you gather the evidence in the suitcase, carrying it out with you.
You must look worse than you thought, because Zoro’s brows furrow in concern when he sees you.
Zoro hasn’t gotten up from your chair. He remains silent and still, but his attention on you is unwavering.
“She was planning to steal our work.” You explain, sitting on top of your desk. “I would’ve been powerless.”
“Would’ve been.” Zoro says. “But you’re not.”
When he stands, you worry that he might be leaving you. But instead, he drags Tildie (who you notice has been tied up) and traps her in her own office. Zoro moves a desk to block the door.
As he pushes it, your eyes follow the movement of his arms. You have to turn away to hide your flustered expression. For some reason, you remember Tildie’s words about your article: this is highly inappropriate.
He comes back, reclaiming his (your) chair. His hands reach for something under the desk. Under your legs. This is highly—
All thoughts in your head stop on their tracks when he meets your eyes again. He’s holding the whiskey you mentioned. You were about to mention your surprise that he didn’t drink any yet, but the words die in your throat. It’s entrancing the way his eyes seem to glow the same color as the liquid.
Zoro taps the glass with his fingers. “I think this bottle has both our names on it.”
If you were in a normal state of mind, you would probably be embarrassed by how much you’re crying in front of Roronoa Zoro. Maybe Zoro would even regret offering you a drink.
You’re not drunk yet, but you’re probably getting there since you’re becoming an emotional mess. Thankfully, Zoro is an excellent listener. You let everything out.
“I just want to write. I want people to read my work.” You sob as you tape your map of the East Blue back together.
Zoro hums, indicating he hears you. One of his arms is extended on your desk, laden with strips of tape. How you managed to use Roronoa Zoro as a tape dispenser is beyond you, but you feel strangely proud of it.
“Why don’t you write, then?” Zoro asks, not taking his eyes off you.
“I can’t!” You sniff before pulling another piece of tape from his skin. “Tildie—that bitch—do you know her? She’s awful, she never approves of our good articles.”
“She’s gone now.” He says. “You can write what you want.”
“Oh.” Right. He’s right, of course he is. “Okay then.”
There’s a beat of silence while you fix your map. When you’re done, you beam at Zoro.
“I’ll write about you.”
He lets out a breathy laugh. “Will you, now?”
“You can bet on it.” Smoothing your fingers over your mended map, you say wistfully, “I wonder where you’ll head off to next.”
Before he can answer that, you voice out a thought that feels strangely sad.
“...I wonder if you’ll come back.”
You can’t even meet his eyes anymore. Half-drunk or not, you knew how embarrassing that was to say. You only met a few hours ago, but why does it feel like you’ll miss him more than anything when he leaves?
“That depends,” Zoro clears his throat. “Are you going to give me a reason to?”
The way your face lit up with shock and happiness was so adorable that it caught Zoro by surprise. He almost lets out a full laugh, but he manages to conceal it with a fake cough.
Leaning down, you grab his shoulder and pull him to you. The office chair rolls over to right where you want him.
This is highly inappropriate… But you can’t help yourself when you respond, “You can bet on that too.”
Kissing Zoro feels electric. You feel your head go fuzzy and your hands are eager to hold onto something. So you hold onto him; the back of his neck—thread your fingers into his hair. He keeps his hands on your waist. They do not wander, but he grips you like you’re some sort of lifeline.
Lifeline.
You break the kiss abruptly, getting an epiphany. This whole experience was a mess, but this could be the lifeline you've been waiting for.
Zoro groans, trying to pull you down for another kiss, but you stop him with a grin, “Do you think I could ask you a few questions?”
Before the interview, Zoro set some ground rules. A few of them involved you, like how you were not to disclose your relationship unless absolutely necessary, since it could put you in danger.
Others involved his crew, such as he couldn’t go into detail with the members and their abilities. That would just be too risky.
The questions themselves don’t necessarily matter to you, since the interview alone will be a huge boost for The Oceanic Times. So you agree to all of his terms… Including the one where he gets a kiss for each answer he gives.
“When you met Luffy,” You begin, “Did you know that you were going to follow him? Or did it take some convincing?”
“Convincing.” Zoro answers.
You wait for him to elaborate. “...Is that it?”
“Yes.” He responds before nudging you, “That’s two.”
Rolling your eyes playfully, you kiss him twice but pull away before he can deepen it.
He frowns at you, and you laugh as you ask your next question, “So you didn’t plan on becoming a pirate?”
“No.”
“...”
“...”
“...Zoro, stop making me ask more than one question.” You say, unimpressed.
“Don’t ask questions that can be answered with one word, then.” He quips back challengingly.
You hate that he’s got you there. You miss his lips on purpose, kissing his cheek in retaliation.
“What was that?” Zoro complains.
“A kiss.” You answer smugly as you write things down in your notebook. You hit him with your last question.
“Why do you follow your captain?”
To your credit, this one makes him think for a minute.
“...Because we all have dreams, and we’re all going to get there together.”
You smile at him, touched. “That’s beautiful.”
Zoro makes a face, leaning back into his seat. “Nevermind, don’t write that down. I take it back.”
“Aw,” You tease. “I wonder what your captain will say about that.”
Zoro grumbles something about how he shouldn't have answered that, but you can tell he meant it. But not to worry, you weren’t about to write some sap piece his enemies can use against him.
You were going to make breaking news.
That was the plan. Or it was, until you fell asleep at some point during the night. You had pulled over another chair, working your typewriter to the bone as you burned through your adrenaline rush.
You woke up the next morning with Zoro leaning on your shoulder; he was still asleep. You took this quiet minute as an opportunity to admire him.
Things would have gone so much differently if he hadn't been around. You probably would have gone out to help the librarian with those thugs alone, and you wouldn’t have made it back to the office soon enough to catch Tildie.
Realization dawns on you. Tildie probably hired those thugs herself, so that you would be preoccupied. You make a mental note to have those thugs questioned later.
All that’s happened… It was scary, yet exciting, since Zoro was with you. He makes you feel eager to find the next big story to write about.
He rouses at that moment, eyes slowly blinking awake. He yawns and stretches, and when he properly looks at you, he shakes his head at your expression.
“Now I know what face you make when you want to go looking for trouble.”
After you reach out to the authorities, Zoro leaves to find his crew. You were sure they were worried sick by now, since he’s been gone so long. He tells you that they’re scheduled to leave this afternoon.
You’ll miss him, but you know it’s for the best.
The harbor is bustling with life when you get there, the complete contrast to how it was months ago. Funny how in both times your feet take you here, you’re wondering where a certain group of pirates are.
But your pirate is easy to find, he’s waiting for you by his crew’s ship.
“Came to give me a reason to come back?” Zoro jests, taking your hand once you’re close enough.
“Couldn’t wait to see you leave, actually.” You joke. He startles you by pulling you close.
You’re about to kiss him when he spots something over your head that makes him frown. Your eyes follow his gaze to find his crew members watching you both.
“Don’t mind us! We’re just enjoying the show!” The one with a bandana on his head yells out.
“Did I miss something? I missed something, didn’t I?” A blond man asks, his face completely flabbergasted.
“I think we all did.” The woman next to him remarks.
“But we’re really happy for you, Zoro!” Their captain cheers and whoops.
Indeed, now might be a good time for the sea to swallow you up. Maybe you should jump?
“Get lost.” Zoro snaps at them. They all holler and laugh, but do as he says.
“Um,” You say. Maybe you should just give him his farewell present to distract yourself from the embarrassment. “I got you this.” You hand him a folded piece of paper.
It’s your article on Orange Town. One of his very first adventures, and the moment you first heard of him retyped on a special kind of stationery and everything. You even made sure the ink is good quality so that it doesn’t fade. (You also spritzed it with your perfume, but he doesn’t need to know that.)
“Ask your friends to read it, please?” You request. “Then tell me what you all think about it.”
Zoro glances at the paper, recognizing how much work you put into it, and how much you went through to get to where you are now.
“I’m sure it’s perfect.” The soft, small smile he gives you makes you feel weak in the knees.
He pulls you in again, his arms embracing your waist. You respond by draping your arms over his shoulders. Your fingers play with the back of his hair.
“Write to me?” You ask softly, only for him to hear.
“Writing isn't really my thing.”
You pout.
“...I’ll send you a postcard or something.”
A laugh escapes you. That was such a Zoro kind of compromise. “I’ll take it.”
“As for me,” He presses his forehead to yours. “I’ll take this.”
The kiss is different from the kisses you shared last night. Maybe it’s because you don’t know when the next one will be. He kisses you dearly, showing you how much he cares when he holds the sides of your face tenderly.
“...See you soon.” You greet him.
The words strangely get stuck in Zoro’s throat, but he gets them out nonetheless.
“See you soon.”
…
“Right,” Sanji taps a pen on his notepad. “Does anyone else need anything from the market?”
Luffy approaches him, reading the contents of the list over his shoulder. “Nope! I think you got everything.”
If the captain says so, he must be right. But Sanji makes a face, still feeling like he's missing something. He's double checking the cupboards when Nami walks into the kitchen.
“Nami!” Sanji beams. “Do you need me to get you anything from the market?”
“Sanji thinks he's forgetting something.” Luffy explains to her, pointing to the notepad left on the counter.
Leave it to Nami to figure out what's missing at a glance. “Zoro's newspaper.” She says, and the boys nod in realization at the same time.
“Ah, right.” Sanji scribbles The Oceanic Times onto the list.
“I’m actually really impressed by her.” Nami says on her way to crash on the couch. “She writes well.”
“Damn right she does.” Zoro says, entering the room with Usopp right behind him.
“Yeah but man,” Usopp complains, “You need to let us finish reading. You always hog it or give us a time limit on it.”
Zoro merely shrugs, like that isn’t his concern. “Buy one for yourself then.”
Nami smirks. “She must have you really whipped if you’re marketing for her.”
“I don’t think she needs it, actually.” Luffy comments. “The paper is doing really well, isn’t it?”
A small smile forms on Zoro’s lips. “Damn right it is.”
When he gets his hands on The Oceanic Times later that day, Zoro reads every bit of it. He rereads your name over and over again, proud of the ‘Editor in Chief’ title that goes before it.
Though he reads every single word, he always skips the small gossip corner first, where anonymous people send in messages or thoughts.
Every week, like clockwork, there’s an anonymous reader who submits messages for her distant lover. When he first saw it, he instantly knew it was you.
‘I heard you were injured. I can’t believe you’re making me worry like this.’
Zoro laughs, and everyone in the kitchen freezes.
He slowly, almost cautiously, glances up from the paper. The Straw Hats look at him with a tricky sparkle in their eyes that makes him uncomfortable.
“Don’t even—” Zoro starts, but it’s too late. Usopp is already standing on his chair, acting like a newspaper salesman.
“Step right up! Read all about it! It’s breaking news: The Roronoa Zoro giggled because of his girlfriend—”
“You have three seconds to run.” Zoro threatens while folding the newspaper carefully. Usopp runs for his life.
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Lucifer: *stern* What are you doing in your room with the attendant and why is it locked?
Satan: Like the rest of us does.
Lucifer: ...
Beel: Boodle fight?
MC: *cracking up laughter*
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last forever [2/13]
Summary: Zoro only offered to marry you to keep you out of an arranged marriage with a man much older than you. You agreed with the caveat of ending it via annulment once you received word from your parents regarding the original engagement, despite your growing feelings for your close friend.
Pairing: Zoro x Fem!reader, mentioned Sanami later (like epilogue later so chill)
Warnings: Marriage of Convenience, Fake Marriage, referenced sex (waaaaaay later on), mutual pining, Zoro is bad at feelings but what's new there, eventual romance I promise, mention of past attempted assault (I'll warn in that chapter), creepy older dude later on
Note: Why yes I did write this after watching OPLA, why do you ask?
[Ch. 1]
Of course, it just had to be a crazy clown that was your next opponent. You didn't fear clowns but you didn't like them terribly much either, so being up against Buggy the Clown and his crew of pirates was making this day worse for you.
First, Luffy had been snatched away by a freaking bird that he tried to catch and turn into food (how he expected to cook it, you had no idea). You and Zoro quickly followed after, not even stopping to properly pick up the men you found in the middle of the ocean who were calling for help. Even when they tried to rob you, the glares the two of you gave and the slight beating from Zoro, once they realized who he was, the three men you picked up took over the rowing and brought you to Orange Town.
Once you found him, Luffy had already been thrown into a cage by Buggy, Zoro making an attempt to dice the clown who only proved he was perfectly fine afterwards, stabbing Zoro instead.After practically jumping from the rooftop with him still in the cage, the girl gave the key up, before it was swallowed by a little dog. The mayor of the town appeared before you next and you asked for a place to treat Zoro's stab wound and where he could rest, Mayor Boodle taking you all to his house.
"I don't need you to treat it, I'll sleep it off."
Zoro nearly flinched at the glare you set on him, making him take his shirt off so you could see the wound better.
"Sleep it off, what a load of crock," Shaking your head, you threaded a needle and sterilized it with a match, "You know that's not how you heal from stab wounds, dummy."
As you started stitching the wound, Zoro watched you closely like he always did. You'd done this so many times at this point, having been terrified of giving him stitches at first, until the worst wound you'd seen him get. He wasn't anywhere near close to bleeding out from it, but after an hour of it still bleeding, you forced him back onto the hotel bed and started stitching him up, pushing away your fears and the tears that you felt welling up as you did so. When you had finished, Zoro was impressed and thanked you, making you smile before you burst into tears over the whole thing.
"What are you crying for?!"
"I…I've never…done that before!"
He'd never have guessed you hadn't done stitches before, but your work never tore, he took it upon himself to remove them when you said it was safe to do. He didn't want you to start crying again.
After that you stitched up any severe wounds he had, just as you were doing at that moment.
"Okay," you cut the thread and finally nodded once you were done, "Now you can sleep. Don't do anything to tear the stitches though."
"Fine."
You put your items away while Zoro laid down, telling him you were going to see if you could help get Luffy out of the cage and ask about this other girl if she was joining you all or not. Before you left, you gave him another glare.
"You better stay still and sleep."
"I will, trust me on that."
Satisfied, you finally left and Zoro smiled to himself before falling asleep.
Not so bad having her as a wife.
+!+
Your hope that you'd all get out of Orange Town without a fight was gone as you stood in front of Cabaji with your own sword drawn. You had told (yelled at) Zoro to go back to resting instead of bothering to fight this acrobat, turning it into an argument between the two of you.
Zoro believed he was completely fine and could fight, despite you noticing the small winces of pain every now and then. Still though, he wouldn't listen to you and attempted several times to move you out of the way so he could fight.
It angered you more than anything, and you finally turned around and glared at him, Zoro more so thinking it was almost cute rather than scary like you thought it'd be.
"Gosh, why the hell are you such a stubborn man?!"
"Says the equally stubborn woman!"
Luffy watched the two of you, amused at how you acted like you really were a married couple despite you saying it wasn't a real marriage. He was starting to not believe you.
Zoro, on the other hand, was getting more frustrated with you as you placed yourself between him and Cabaji, who watched you two in annoyance at the fact neither of you were fighting him, but were fighting each other.
Get a room geez.
"I don't need you fighting battles for me!"
"You're still injured, you oaf!" You screeched back at Zoro, not stopping an attack from the annoyed Cabaji in time. He threw a kick into your side, sending you towards a building. You only stopped and didn't fly right into the building thanks to Zoro moving quickly enough to stop you, grabbing you around the waist to keep you from hitting anything but him.
"You all right?" He was quiet, but the look on his face told you he was angry. At you or Cabaji, you weren't sure, but you nodded. You'd always felt his bandana made him look scarier when he was in battle, but the way he looked at you this time, despite the anger, was more like he was worried about you, maybe. Zoro would probably never admit such a thing to you if you asked.
You were in pain, hissing a slight bit when Zoro set you down. You figured it was just going to be some bruising, nothing to worry about, even though it hurt at that moment.
Zoro made sure you were safe, before standing back up and setting the harshest glare you'd seen from him yet on Cabaji.
"Don't you dare touch my wife again."
Never had you felt like someone was fighting for you or your honor before then. The fact Zoro willingly called you his wife, that stuck in your head on repeat while you watched him fight and defeat Cabaji, moving past your own pain to hurry over and protect him as he fell asleep again. Of course he'd claim he was healing no problem that was, but you still wanted him to be safe while Luffy defeated Buggy.
Luckily Luffy carried him off to your ship as the townspeople chased you off for a misunderstanding, and you could breathe easily to know you all were safe, the orange haired girl named Nami joining you temporarily.
After you checked Zoro's stitches and for any other wounds, you were surprised by Nami offering you to sit with her in the boat she'd stolen, so you didn't have to be alone with two boys. You took her up on it, and she pulled you close to whisper.
"Hey…Zoro called you his wife…is he legit?"
Your face turned bright red, having already forgotten that because of your quick escape from the town. He really had then, it wasn't just you hearing things.
Was that progress? Would things slowly change and develop for the two of you, could you live as a married pirate couple one day? Have kids even?
Were you getting ahead of yourself? Definitely, considering he'd only said it once and likely wasn't thinking, your assumption due to the possible pain he was still in, even though he would deny it instantly if you even started to ask.
"Umm, hello," Nami snapped her fingers in front of your face, making you shake your head and ask her to repeat what she said, "I asked if Zoro was being honest when he said you were his wife."
You blinked a few times, before finally smiling slightly. "Well…technically, yes, he's being honest."
Nami didn't let you go back to the boys the rest of your ride to the next island, demanding every detail despite you only knowing each other for a few hours.
It looked like you had a new best friend.
+!+
The events in Syrup Village led to your recruitment of a new member, Usopp, and being given the Going Merry as your first, real ship as a crew. You and Nami spent time learning how the ship worked, Usopp eventually joining you and telling stories that you may have known right off the bat weren't entirely truthful. You did enjoy them though, laughing through them during dinner that night alongside Luffy.
"Soooo," leaning over, you gave Usopp a grin, "Kaya huh? That was a nice little kiss there."
Nami burst into a laugh at how wide Usopp's eyes got, before he started stammering and trying to say something, you grinning even more and asking him what it was like to get a kiss.
"Never had one before so I wouldn't know."
"I…it…nice…it was nice…"
You and Nami started doting on Usopp over it, telling him how he could always write to Kaya and keep in touch that way. The romance talk flew over Luffy's head but he still talked about how nice Kaya was and how tough Kuro had been, while Zoro got more annoyed as it went on, eventually leaving the table after he finished his drink and stepping outside, which you did notice right away.
Downing the last of your own bit of wine, you excused yourself from your friends, heading to the deck and finding Zoro there, leaned against the railing with his eyes closed. Normally you'd assume he was sleeping, but since it'd only been about a minute and you knew he didn't sleep standing up (wouldn't have surprised you though), you knew he was still awake and would talk to you.
"Hey," you joined Zoro against the rail, making him look at you and nod slightly while you tilted your head, "What'd you leave for?"
"Tired."
"Why aren't you in bed then?"
"Who can sleep with all the laughing?"
"Oh please, you almost slept through a tornado once."
"Shut up."
You rolled your eyes but smiled, deciding to look out at sea and watch the waves that gently rocked the ship. You'd anchored for the night in the middle of the sea, Nami placing you on the first watch of the night since you said you weren't tired while most everyone else was. You didn't mind, it'd give you some alone time to watch the stars and think, to enjoy being by yourself as you so rarely got to do lately.
"Have you heard from your parents?"
Zoro's question made you shake your head, him sighing once you did. You'd not gotten a single letter from them, your carrier bird only bringing newspapers from home so you could keep up on how things were going that didn't involve your arranged marriage.
You wondered if they even got your first letter at all at this point.
"Not a thing…only newspapers from home.
"Mm."
"They've still got my picture in it as if I've been kidnapped."
"Maybe they didn't get your letter and the papers."
You shrugged, biting your lip. You wanted to say something about it, tell him you didn't want to do the annulment even if your parents wrote back that the arranged marriage was over, that they accepted your current marriage. You'd rather stay married to him, try a relationship before signing any papers, but you also knew that saying anything like that would likely cause Zoro to shut you out, or tell you how he didn't want to be in a relationship, he didn't want to be married whether he knew of your feelings or not.
He'd probably never return your feelings and you'd have wasted your time instead of just doing the annulment, or divorce if your six months passed without a letter.
But, maybe, you could just tell him how you felt right then, see what his thoughts were and go from there.
Maybe.
"Zoro, I–"
"I'm going to bed. Just let me know when you hear anything."
"O-Oh, yeah…sure."
Once he left, you sighed and sunk to the ground, wishing you hadn't been such a coward at the moment and asked him to stay so you could actually talk to Zoro about the situation between the two of you. Granted yes, things had moved quickly since you joined Luffy, but still. There were a few times you should have sat down and talked, but every time you wanted to, Zoro was doing something or sleeping. At this rate you figured you'd never get things settled with him.
"Hey, you good?" Usopp popped up beside you, throwing an arm around your shoulders while you just nodded, not saying a word. He didn't fully believe you, taking note of the slight sadness on your face, before he smiled. "Have I told you about the giant sea monster that attacked my village?"
"Don't think so."
"Oh it was a huge beast! At least forty, no fifty feet!"
The rest of your night was spent laughing at more of Usopp's stories on the deck, enjoying yourself and forgetting your worries for the time being.
Zoro had, however, turned back to go talk to you about your sham marriage before he went to bed. The two of you never properly spoke about it after leaving the town you'd married in, but he was sure that you had feelings for him from the way you acted at times. Overly concerned with his well being, you forcing him to rest in Orange Town, the glances you'd take every now and then too. Everything pointed to you having developed feelings for him, and Zoro didn't want that right now.
He didn't want distractions from his goals and didn't want you distracted from yours. He had to put a stop to your feelings then and there, even if all it ended up being was a pause on your end.
He didn't expect, though, for you to be laughing with Usopp when he made it back to the deck, choosing to watch you for a moment. You smiled and laughed again, shoving Usopp on the arm while he grinned and made a large gesture with his hands, likely an exaggeration in whatever story he was telling you. Zoro didn't know why he had such a tight feeling in his chest seeing this, but it was enough for him after a few minutes of neither of you noticing him. He turned around and returned to his hammock, trying to ignore the annoyance he felt when Usopp and Luffy came into the room, Usopp mentioning how fun you were to talk to.
I'm not jealous. Not at all.
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Corporations pay their CEOs extravagantly while trying to cheat on taxes.
It would be one thing if, alongside the exorbitant executive pay, the quality of American CEO-ing was going up. But these executives are making off with bigger bags of boodle despite their persistent incompetence: Media executives keep running their businesses into the ground, tech firms are laying people off because of vibes, the planes keep nearly crashing, and examples of insane eye-popping greed—like Rite-Aid’s decision to claw back severance paid out to laid-off workers on the same day they handed their CEO a $20 million bonus—keep on coming.
So it may come as no surprise that there’s a robust connection between the overindulged CEOs and the firms that are most flagrantly dodging their fair share of taxes. For a report released Wednesday, the Institute for Policy Studies teamed up with Americans for Tax Fairness to spelunk into the balance sheets at some of America’s best-known tax scofflaws between 2018 and 2022. What they found was pretty consistent: The firms took home high profits and lavished their top executives with exorbitant pay, all while stiffing Uncle Sam.
The excess is stunning. “For over half (35) of these corporations,” the study reports, “their payouts to top corporate brass over that entire span exceeded their net tax payments.” An additional 29 firms managed this feat for “at least two of the five years in the study period.” Eighteen firms paid a grand total of zero dollars during that five-year span, 17 of which were given tax refunds. All in all, the 64 companies in the report “posted cumulative pre-tax domestic profits of $657 billion” during the study period, but “paid an average effective federal tax rate of just 2.8 percent (the statutory rate is 21 percent) while paying their executives over $15 billion.”
Which firms are the worst of the worst? You can probably guess the company that tops the list because it’s the one run by The New Republic’s 2023 Scoundrel of the Year. During the five years of the study, Tesla took home $4.4 billion in profits as CEO Elon Musk carted off $2.28 billion in stock options, which, since his 2018 payday, have ballooned to nearly $56 billion—a compensation plan so outlandish that the Delaware Court of Chancery canceled it. Tesla has, during that same period of time, paid an effective tax rate of zero percent through a combination of carrying forward losses from unprofitable years and good old-fashioned offshore tax dodging.
Elon Musk is either the world's richest or second richest person. But he still wants more. Give him credit for pathological greed.
In all fairness, Musk is not alone when it comes to enriching himself while screwing workers.
What sort of innovations have these CEOs wrought from this well-remunerated period? T-Mobile’s Mike Sievert presided over the Sprint merger that led to $23.6 million in stock buybacks and 5,000 layoffs. Netflix’s Reed Hastings poured $15 billion in profit into jacking up subscription rates. Nextera Energy has devoted $10 million in dark money in a “ghost candidate scheme” to thwart climate change candidates. Darden Restaurants has been fighting efforts to raise the minimum wage. Metlife has been diverting government money meant to fund low-cost housing into other, unrelated buckraking ventures. And some First Energy executives from the study period are embroiled in a corruption scandal that’s so massive that even Musk might find it to be beyond the pale.
These oligarchs are going to spend lavishly to elect Republicans who would give them even bigger tax breaks.
Fortunately, they can't literally buy votes. If we return to old school grassroots precinct work then we can thwart the MAGA Republican puppets of billionaire oligarchs.
One to one contact is a more important factor than TV or online ads in convincing people to vote your way. It takes more effort, but democracy was not built by slacktivism in the first place.
#corporate tax cheats#extravagant salaries for ceos#tax dodging#greed#oligarchs#tesla#elon musk#t-mobile#netflix#nextera energy#first energy#metlife#darden#maga#republicans#grassroots political work#election 2024#vote blue no matter who
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boodle fight 🤪
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Victorian slang that needs to come back that isn’t just “morbs ”
Some pumpkins: someone or something impressive. 1846: One of them thinks he's got a scrub (horse) that's some pumpkins.
Absquatulate: to take leave, to disappear.
1843: A can of oysters was discovered in our office by a friend, and he absquatulated with it, and left us with our mouth watering.
Boodle: a crowd of people.
1833: He declared he'd fight the whole boodle of 'em.
Hornswoggle, honey-fuggled: to cheat; to pull the wool over one's eyes. 1856: Pardon me for using the word; but Sharp honeyfuggled around me. Mr. Bennet, Nebraska, House of Reps., Congressional Globe, July 22, p.965 1860: P.E is going to hornswoggle the Democrats.
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Invader Zim Deathmatch:
ROUND 2, FIGHT 13:
IGGINS VS ULTRA PEEPI!
The rules are as follows:
1. We’re assuming that both participants actively want and are willing to kill each other unless actively specified otherwise (for example: Chammy Wamboo).
2. The fight must be one on one so no outside help is allowed, but prep time is allowed.
3. The rule for prep time is that if one contestant gets prep time, the other contestant gets an equal amount of prep time as well.
[Masterpost]
Information about both contestants (who they are, powers and abilities, etc) can be found under the cut.
Contestant Stats:
Iggins:
“Gamer”
Appearances:
Iggins makes one appearance in the episode “Game Slave 2”
Powers and abilities:
Gaming
Having a really punchable face
Fun Fact:
You know how some gladiator fights will throw an unarmed criminal into a cage with five hungry lions to keep the spectators entertained while the actual contestants are still preparing? That��s why Iggins is here. He’s the unarmed criminal.
Ultra-Peepi:
“Oh yeah Ultra-Peepi”
Appearances:
Ultra-Peepi appears in the episode “Hamstergeddon”
Powers and abilities:
Gargantuan size (Ultra-Peepi is larger than most buildings. Most of their strength comes from this extreme size and weight)
Extreme durability (due to their size and several cybernetic implants, Ultra-Peepi is extremely durable, being able to withstand the weaponry of an Irken ship. However, they’re not invincible, and were successfully killed by Zim using an extremely large explosion)
Energy breath (Ultra-Peepi can fire massive blasts of energy from their mouth)
[Weakness] Animal intelligence (Ultra-Peepi is an animal and as such, has the intelligence of an animal. They’re easily distracted by anything that resembles food and generally aren’t very smart, making it very easy to trick and outsmart them)
Fun Fact:
Peepi was originally named “Mr Boodles” in episode concepts before it was changed to Peepi.
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so. after my dad died, my family decided to get another cat. my sister found a black & white litter at a shelter. there was one named crossword puzzle. we tried to adopt him, because my dad loved crossword puzzles. he did the ones in the newspaper everyday (or stockpiled them for the days he had time) when he was sick we bought him books.
crossword puzzle was adopted already, but his brother newspaper was still available. and we picked him up the next day. he was the tiniest sweetest little thing. i remember asking if i could pick him up, as in did he like being picked up. they said yes and i did and we was just so calm. he slept all the way home, and then as soon as he was in my sister's room...he was CRAZY. he was so playful & energetic.
unfortunately, our first cat *hated* him. she was really sad after my dad died. he was her favorite person and we wanted to give her a buddy. but she was always an old lady, and her mom abandoned her. or her initial owners did. we found her on vacation in nj, she walked right into our hotel room. and so my mom named her jersey as suddenly we had our first cat. my parents wouldn't let me take her home with me (i left earlier than them) because they were worried about her wandering the car & distracting me. really, i think my dad just wanted to keep her. we didn't have a carrier or anything and they literally just created a little bed in a box for her. my dad pretended jersey drove him crazy but he loved her. he would always sit with her and it's the calmest she ever was.
anyway. eventually when my (now) wife moved in, we decided we wanted another cat. newspaper actually needed a friend. he loved other cats and jersey hated him!! (he wanted to love her and she just screamed & growled & smacked him if he got too close). so my sister found lily tomlin. we had just watched gsme of thrones and there was a picture of lily sitting in front of a tv screen watching game of thrones. that, along with her name, lead us to adopt her. (now htgsc is one of my favorite episodes and i know my dad definitely laughed at that one as much as i do.) lily is a little scaredy cat who also *needs* other cats. she hid behind our toilet and literally wouldn't look at us for two days. so eventually we just let her out and she started snugging us whenever we were sleeping. like waking me up at 3 in the morning to pet her, then hiding from us when we were awake. but when we had newspaper in the room, she would come out. she followed him around and did all the things he did. newspaper did not like her at first. but once he knew that he was in charge, he loved her so much.
then two years ago, my mom & sister were moved out of the house and me & renata were living in my childhood home with our friends. se decided to get another cat. my cousin had just adopted from a shelter so she suggested we take a look. there was a cat named boodles (worst name i have EVER heard) but he was the cutest little thing. another tuxedo (like newspaper, lily tomlin is black with a little white spot on her chest) another little guy who needs to be with other cats, and we had two kitty siblings for him. so we got him and changed his name to saturn, because we love astrology & space & my dad drove a saturn for years. we picked him up on christmas eve and he kept my whole family awake all night because he screamed the whole night lol (and then we all got covid 😭)
now they're all best friends who definitely still fight like siblings. and they all make me feel very connected to my dad. the little weirdos. all named for a connection to him.
(jersey is now my sister's cat and she pretends to hate me) ((and if anyone remembers me posting about lily tomlin getting out when we moved, she is safe at home again and there was only a very short adjustment period with her brothers))
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Translators asleep at the wheel, he literally says the OPPOSITE. He says it’s FROM the Mayor, not FOR the Mayor.
Does it really matter, though? I mean, I guess not? But it dilutes Luffy's character! Luffy really respects other people's will, and the Mayor's desire to fight Buggy really moved him. It feels weird and almost patronizing for Luffy to say he did this as a sort of payback for what the Mayor's suffered. Saying "think of this kick as coming from the Mayor" makes a lot more sense.
Especially since the one who beat Boodle up the most was Luffy himself...
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