How dare Spotify make me listen to a long-ass advert for Elton John while I’m writing drafts for Alexsander, don’t you know they’re mortal enemies??????

just remembered this

Postcarter AU

Something that's been on my mind for a long time now is if the Witchcarters were permanently freed from Wendy Naugus's mind control. By Team Hooligan because of that Archie issue where the teams worked together. And Carrotia, Falke, and Bearenger's personalities are definitely different compared to Wendy's interpretations.

So sometime after they're freed, they decide to get new clothes because they didn't like the old ones and they bring back terrible memories!

I’ll post them one by one because Postcarter!Bearenger isn’t done yet and I’ve been working on and off on these…So starting with Falke:

Imagine designing a Wispon for one character hahahaha (I’ll draw him with the Trigger Wispon in action eventually)

Falke is much less insane than when he was mind controlled, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be a goofy ass! He found a way to cope through cooking (especially German foods his mom made- yes I’m going by the German Wulf headcanon) and window shopping for heels

He goes by Falke or Hocke, doesn’t matter to him but most of his friends call him Falke. Hocke came from Wendy’s WILD mispronunciation of his name, and she didn’t realize until mind-controlled Carrotia brought it up

Falke has some dense fur and bones from experiments Wendy made him go through, so that’s why he can’t get hurt by his own mines or break bones from a lot of damage…win-lose situation

Some Postcarter Background Info:

Fang literally only wanted to save Bear and Falke because he thought Carrotia would be upset if he didn’t 💀

Fang saves Carrotia, Bean saves Falke, and Bark saves Bear. I want the Hooligans to go into the Witchcarters’ minds somehow so they can permanently lock out the mind control. Maybe Wendy learns a new spell to try to kill them off? Idk yet

The Postcarters definitely have a hard time trusting people besides the Hooligans for a long time. Even if Carrotia and Falke start working for the Restoration, they’re not super friendly at first. Bear gets into a boxing career to deal with anger he hasn’t really gotten out. He tries not to show much emotion since he doesn’t wanna scare anyone with his loud bursts of anger. Basically stoic. He smiles more around his siblings (Carrotia and Falke 😌)

More info in the future!

You have probably been asked this before but, what is your favourite sonic character out of; The IDW comics? The Games? The Archie comics? All of the above combined?

This gremlin is all I can hyperfixate of. I do love the other characters designs, but emo boy is the main character in my book hahahaha. Give him his own side story SEGA PLS.

Omg your Numel nonsense fic was so precious and cute! I would headcannon that Archie pulls this prank once more on his husband, not learning his lesson. so Maxie finally keeps his word and fills Archie’s swimsuit with bait, allowing a group of Sharpedo to nuzzle him silly! Perfect revenge for Maxie

{Headcanons to Dabbles: CLOSED!}

*squeeee* I love this so much!!! I almost forgot about Numel Nonsense- thank you for the kind words! One sequel-ish dabble coming right up, anon! :D

“I warned you, didn’t I? I did. I did~” Whether Maxie was aware he sounded like an evil sorceress right now was hard to say. It didn’t matter in the end as he carefully rubbed a frozen block of bait across the front and back parts of Archie’s rash guards, putting extra emphasis on specific parts of the suit. “Now you will face the consequences of messing with the great Maxie!”

~~~

“Whooooo!” Archie cheered as he leaped into the ocean, laughing when he resurfaced. “Ay, Maxie- get in here! The water’s not that bad!”

“No thanks- didn’t you hear? There’s Sharpedo about. I don’t want to get nibbled on.” The redhead was a picture of calm as he sat on the pier, feet kicking back and forth against the rippling water. “You have fun though- I’ll just watch you get eaten.”

“Pfft- how heroic of you.” Archie grinned as he slashed his husband, just missing the small family of Sharpedos making their way over. “Oh, Maxie! Save me-Ehehehe!”

“Hm? What’s wrong?” Maxie blinked, tilting his head. Archie- who was momentarily waving an arm at him, suddenly shot it down with a chortle. Then he was squirming about, twisting this way and that with his arms pressed against his sides. “Archie?”

“Ah! Ahehahahhahaha! Nohohohoho- oh nohoohoohoho! Thehehehy’re bihihihihiiting mehehehehehe!” The sailor cried, giggling up a storm as the various Sharpedo’s bumped and nuzzled into his body, some going for a nibble. “Mahahahhxie, whahahhat did yohoohoohu dohoohohoho?”

“What? Me? I didn’t do anything!” Maxie gaped, irritated. “Well…actually, I may have coated your suit in bait…”

“AHHAHAH HAHAHAHA! I knehehhehehw it was yohoohoohohu!” Archie tried to point from the water, but the Sharpedos were determined to get under his arms, making him scrunch and chortle. “Yohohohohoohu’re a dehehehhehevil!”

“So are you, Mr. Let’s Put Pokemon Food In My Pockets.” Maxie was about to kick some water and scare off the sharks when they ceased their attack, bumping Archie a few more times before swimming away. “Aww, it ended so soon.”

“Not at all. Are ye pockets empty?”

“Of course- ARCHIE!” Maxie squawked as Archie grabbed him by the ankle, pulling him down into the water. With a flick of his wrist, his glasses were safely tossed back onto the pier.

With another flick of the wrist, Maxie was laughing hysterically, punching at Archie’s chest as the other tickled him in return. “Ahahahhaharchie, dohoohohohohn’t!”

“All’s fair in love and war, Maxie! Hehehe~”

Ok so the last episode, with the “I heart you too, Shadow” ???

I just got here and I’m eating so well,

let’s ignore all the angst …

Ok so I lowkey wanna read/watch Sonic, so is there like a timeline?? Or just one with the most important stuff

…or mainly focused in the angsty emo hedgehog 🦔

Hi! You came to the right place in terms of Shadow, he’s my favorite and I’m an expert in his backstory HAHAHA I’d absolutely love to walk you through it :)

Also my partner and I freaked out when that happened HAHAHAHA

Shadow first appeared in the game Sonic Adventure 2, and he was created originally to help find a cure for an illness that Gerald Robotnik’s (Eggman’s grandfather) granddaughter Maria had.

He was made using DNA from Black Doom, a member of an alien race called the black arms and was created as the “Ultimate Life Form” and was the final stage in Project Shadow.

Eventually he was deemed too big of a threat by GUN, (which is a branch of the government in Sonic canon) and in the process of them attempting to capture him, they shot and killed Maria.

He was put into a stasis by GUN and was released 50 years later by Eggman to take over Earth.

By the end of the game we find out Gerald had suffered mentally after the death of Maria and began to plan his revenge, which included him altering Shadow’s memories which caused Shadow to attempt to enact revenge on human kind. After he planned the inevitable doomsday, he was executed.

Shadow then helps Sonic and Eggman to reverse the plan after Amy was able to remind him that Maria wouldn’t have wanted that to happen.

After Sonic and Shadow went super he fell to earth and was supposedly dead before he was found by Rouge in another stasis pod in Sonic Heroes.

If you want an entire timeline for (modern) Sonic, I suggest starting with the game Sonic Adventure, and then moving forward in chronological order in terms of release!

Here are some more important games in terms of lore that might be good to start you off :)

(They’re in order!)

- Sonic Adventure

- Sonic Adventure 2

- Sonic Heroes

- Shadow the Hedgehog

- Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) (Despite it’s bad rep and weird story choices, it’s important in terms of characters and development!)

- Sonic Rush Adventure

- Sonic Unleashed

- Sonic Colors

- Sonic Forces

- Sonic Frontiers

I definitely suggest skipping the Archie comics and going straight to IDW!

They take place right after Forces :)

I know it might be an overwhelming amount of information, but I promise it’s worth it! Sonic is such a fun franchise to get into <3

You can always ask me more questions whenever you’re confused or need more help understanding the timeline!

Enjoy! :)

are you into ethical non monogamous, poly?

I’ve never bothered to learn what ethical non monogamy is.. Ugh I think it’s just so annoying that some things.. have to have a label and be so cut off from everything spiritually and emotionally.. like. I’m not into “polyamory” or “ethical non monogamy” I’m into knowing Archie is my true soulmate husband brother father wife best friend that I’ll end up with no matter what, I’m into knowing that his north node and sun is in Pisces, my south node is Scorpio, my mars is Pisces, his mars is Aquarius, my moon is Aquarius, his moon is Leo, my sun is Leo. Like come on now. Yet we can’t be together for a while for reasons beyond both of our control (I need to become my best self and do all the drugs I want to and live a thousand lives before I get back with him and he needs to flourish on his own too). Plus we’re figuring out kinda where we wanna live. After uni sand everything when I can finally “settle down” I’m coming back to him. So how do I say .. I’m in love with him always will be, always have been, but I also want to be married to Tim, and to Blake, and to have their children. It’s also important to note like I could notttt think of anything worse than getting in a long term relo right now cuz I’m 20 and bound to cheat. Sorryyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had to break things off with Archie cuz it got sooo serious. The love and friendship has always been serious and deep af but the relationship took over my life .. and that’s just wat happened when you’re 20. So this is a long way of saying yes I am into polyamory cuz I wanna fall in love with a million people in my life and I can fall in love with multiple ppl at once💟 it’s just how I operate. Even as a romantic teen girl.. I loved my English teacher and I loved jungkook and I loved Ben and I loved Dominic fike. So it’s like that idk. And when I do settle down I can’t really predict how I will feel but I’m thinking when I’m 30 I’d still want to date other people but always come back to one person…hahahaha lol

Archie meets Kritten part 3: Bar fight

By now it had been a good three months sesne the duo had met. They had become very good friends and their days consisted of having fun in the house, planting and gardening crops, and mining. They also loved to go to places they’ve never seen before and explore as well! Over all life was great, one morning though, Archie hears a knock on his door.

A human busts through the door, startling Kritten under the covers who had just woke up. “HAHA! YOU CANT KEEP OLLIE IN THE LOONY BIN FOREVER! Damn Archie who’s that? Did you get a boyfriend while I was gone? Sweet congrats!” “Huh- Wha..?” Archie had just woke up as well, rubbing his eyes. He looks at Kritten who is blushing under the covers, still startled by the kids sudden break in. “What- Ollie- no- they are NOT my boyfriend we literally met three months ago!” “That didn’t stop you from dating that other guy!” Kritten say up and looked at Archie with a kinda sad face, “what other guy..?” He was still very tired haven just woken up. “I- just an ex of mine, and Ollie you shut up! Now what’s really you doing here?” Ollie open a trap door next to the cooler Kritten hadn’t noticed before hand. “Ha- what do ya think short stack? Hiding!” Archie rolled his eyes. “Okay okay, just be careful alright?” “Alrighty then! Bai!” “Goodbye psychopath!”.

Ollie dropped down into the hole and closed the trap door and Kritten was left confused as ever. “He-“ “yeah I know it’s consuming at first but you’ll get to know him better as time goes on! Come on let’s get our days started! HEY OLLIE YOU WANT ANYTHING???” “NAH MAN IM FINE!” “OKAY! Anyways! Eggs?” Archie smiled. Kristen smiled and giggled, “hahaha! Yes please!” Archie got to cooking the eggs as Kritten happily watched.

Later on in the day the sun started to go down and Archie decided to bring Kritten to a local bar with him. “Now listen, they will only let you in becuase You’re with me alright? Because of our size they will I.D us too make sure we’re over 21, so be careful okay?” “Mhm!” They walked into the bar and sat down at the well- bar. The bartender welcomed them both. “Hello Archie! I see you’ve brought a friend with you! Who might you be?” “I-I’m Kritten.” “Nice name! Welcome to the bar, what would you two gentleman like?” Archie held his finger up, “I’d like my usual with the chicken tenders, the honey bbq kind please!” “On it! And Kritten?” “I-I’ll have whatever he’s having.” “Great choice! Archie is a man of taste! I can tell by the way he brung you here! Haha!” Archie almost dropped his money. “THEY’RE NOT MY BOYFRIEND!!!” Archie huffed and the bartender just laughed. “HAHAHAHA- alright then boys what tab will all that be on?” “My tab,” Archie replied. It’s Krittens first time here and he doesn’t have one.” “Okay then! Well I hope you come in more Kritten this place is great when there isn’t any fights!” “F-fights?” “Yeah,” Archie continued. “Sometimes people get to drunk and start a FI-“

Archie is immediately punched off of his chair and is picked up by a piglin. Kritten starred in fear and disbelief. “No..No fucking way you gotta be kidding me!!!” Holding Archie there was Uggub…the one person that Kritten was hoping to never see again. “HA! So YOU’RE the creature that has been giving that runt Kritten sanctuary! Say goodbye to your little boyfriend Kritten becuase you’re coming with me weather you like it or not!” Uggub punched Archie squarer in the face and all Archie could do was bite him till he got off of him. “NO! IM NOT GOING WITH YOU BACK TO THE NETHER WITH YOU! AND GET OFF OF MY FRIEND!“ Kritten gets Involved and runs to Uggub, hitting him with his golden axe. Uggub throws Kritten to the side and continues to beat up Archie. A few others got involved to try and break it up or beat up Uggub, nobody succeeded in stopping the fight until the bartender came out and saw what was happening.

“HEY HEY HEY BREAK IT UP! BREKA IT UP! YOU. PIGLIN BRUTE GET OUT!!!” “What-?” “GET OUT! I DONT EVER WANNA SEE YOU HERE AGAIN!” Uggub ran out and Kritten immediately got on his knees to check on Archie who was almost passed out on the floor. Archie try’s to sit up only for his head to fall on Krittens lap. “Oh my- Archie are you okay…?!” “Y-Yeha man who- who the hell was that..?” “That’s sad Uggub…I’m so sorry I didn’t know he’d be here..!” Kritten is nearly in tears and Archie reached to to rub his cheek. “There there now buddy it’s not your fault…” the bartender walks up to them, “Are you two okay? Would you still like your food and drinks?” Kritten replies: “I-I’d like mine yes- What about you Archie?” “Sure..” “okay then. You need to rest so I’ll just get you some wa-“ “No! I want my usual drink!” “Okay damn-“

As Kritten and Archie sit at a booth finishing their food Kritten holds Archies hand and looks at him. “Hey there Archie you feeling any better?” “Ugh..sort of~” Archies head fell on Krittens shoulder. “Ohh boy, you surely are drunk aren’t you?” Oh yeah~ heheheeheheheeee~!” Archie purred and scooted closer to Kritten, putting his arm around his waist. Kritten flinched for a second before sorta melting into it. He calmed down and let Archie hold him there. “So sweetie~ how we doin tonight~?” Archie I closer to Krittens face. Kritten scoots back a little bit away from Archie blushing, not sure what to do. “I must say…heh- you do look- *hic* very handsome~” “I-I-I-I- thank you-! I-“ Archie planted a little kiss on Krittens cheeks before eating the rest of his chicken and grabs the piglins hand to leave.

Archie just flirted more on the way home, Kritten was a blushing and confused mess and wasn’t to sure as of what to do besides to get Archie home and in bed. They get home eventually, Kritten helps Archie take his coat and boots off, getting him into bed and under the covers. Kritten joins him and turns to face the wall like usual when he feels Archies arms wrap around his body. “H-huh-“ “shhh…just sleep Krit.~..” “o-okay..!” Kritten blushed even harder, but he fell asleep eventually…

The next morning Archie woke up with a Terrible hang over, so that morning Kritten cooked breakfast. The whole morning Kritten felt an odd feeling of butterflies in his stomach remembering last night, Archie seemed to pick up on it though when Kritten sat his breakfast down in front of him and asked: “Hey Kritten you okay? You seem rather shy this morning. Are you still shook up Becuase of the fight last night?” “W-well yes but- no..y-you see uh- hehe- after the fight you got really drunk and..” “and what? Oh lord I didn’t hurt anyone did I?!” “What-?! No! You- we were finishing our food and you started to flirt with me..you kissed my cheeks and told me how handsome I was, you continued the behavior as we walked home! Even when I tucked you in, when I got in the bed you cuddled me to sleep.” Archie was shocked, he had a very blurry memory of what happened but he wasn’t fully aware of what he was actually doing. “O-oh shit man I am SO SO sorry if I made you uncomfortable- hey man listen if I ever pull some shit like that again just push me off and shit me up some how okay? I’m super sorry-“ “it’s okay..! You don’t make me uncomfortable at all, you just..surprised me is all hehe..” “o-oh, well okay then. What I said still goes though, if I ever make you uncomfortable PLEASE tell me to stop cause I don’t wanna make you feel that way EVER.” “Thank you Archie, and I will make sure to do that…” Kritten crawled up on the bed and next to Archie, leaving his head on Archie’s shoulder as Archie ate. Archie chilled and just kept on eating his breakfast.

Knight I had a small angsty vision of the newest AU, while listening to Gods Mercy of all songs lmao

Actually it’s full on angst™️

Just,,,when all the Champions are captured, they get tortured to death instead of, idk, shooting them or something quick and relatively painless

Cause like Team RR is using them both as a show of power, but also what will happen to rebels and traitors if they don’t agree with Team RR

Imagine it being worse that they give E4 and gym leaders a change to join their side, cause they’re all strong trainer, before they label them as traitors, but not the Champions just to rub salt in the wound. Truly letting them know they have 0% chance of finding a way out of dying

Anyways yeah, Giovanni ordering them to stab Lance all over his body in non lethal parts, letting him slowly bleed out and watch the rest, Maxie ordering for Steven to be slowly burnt alive, Archie ordering the grunts to water board Wallace before finally drowning him, Iris being mauled to death by Dragon Types, just horrid deaths they all got

But wait ‼️‼️

What about SilkWing angst, like Giovanni ordering the grunts to kill Iris in front of Diantha and Lance, and both of them have to watch their practically get eaten alive. Them just screaming at the Leaders to let Iris live, saying “she’s only a teenager she doesn’t deserve this” “we don’t care what happens to us just let her go please”

But of course, Diantha’s gonna be next

Just Giovanni being an evil leader and killing Lances family in front of him before he dies himself

Also sorry if this is to much. Feel free to delete if you don’t want to answer this and just let me know so I don’t send something like this again

YOUR HONOUR THATS SO GOOD WHAT CBMDBCMDND

Oh love myself some torture fr fr if you have more concepts like this send em my way, man you don't understand I had like the whumpiest au back then in my old fandom and it low-key broke some people hahahaha the torture and abuse in that au was too much too ig but hey

Ough that's so good tho what the fuck😭😭😭 just bcmxbxmx yo idk this got me excited holy shit hahahah

Like, you know what would be so so fucked up SHIT FUCKING IMAGINE CHMDBXNDND if Lysandre knows just what would really fuck Diantha up, for not joining him, for wasting her beauty, for trying to stop him, is that instead of Dragon types being the ones to kill Iris, it's a pack of Houndoom. Like. She's literally being fed to the Houndoom and Diantha could only watch as she screams and writhes in her confines, screaming at Lysandre, cursing him, and Lysandre could only smirk as she watches her daughter get killed, and soon she'll follow suit

Like cjxncbmxbxsk OUGHHHHH IMAGINE TOO THO LIKE CNDNCBDN once all of the other Champions are dead and Lance is still around, Giovanni's there smirking at him, telling him that he must be missing a few people, he really wants to see just how Lance breaks. As if his daughter and wife wasn't enough fucking imagine Gio calls in the grunts and the other leaders to take Clair and Silver right where Lance is, and got them killed in front of him too cbmxnx like Gio's too deep within that rabbit hole that he had no problems having Silver killed, so Lance had to also watch his cousin and his son die before him man like csxjdmdjdkd

Ough bonus points if Lance is there just basically begging Giovanni to kill him, but for Gio that would be mercy, and why would he ever show him mercy y'know? Imagine if Gio and the other leaders kept him alive, making him watch as they destroy his home, his region, and the next will soon follow, he was forced to watch innocent people die, and Gio's there leaning close to him, forcing him to watch, "see how powerless you are? Are you truly still worthy of being called a Champion?" And he could only laugh as he watches the last bit of hope in Lance's eyes get extinguished, his defences crumbling, he was nothing more than a shell of his former self, and god did Giovanni revel in it.

AAAA AXOLOTL STUFFIE!!! that sounds so cuteeee

I SO MUCH APPRECIATE THAT YOU SENT ME THE SPELLING!!! HAHAHAHA! also yis... he lorge

His name is Archie. 💙💙💙

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

:>

🃏⚔ for different shifts, yeah. As Architect (a super cool , badass robot girl), I got called Archie a lot. I've been called Gamby too, lmao , which is kinda cute.

🌟🌺 Ko-meowmeow. Ko, Jill Sandwich, Jilly, 'Rezi, man I've got soooo many hahahaha.

📷🐺 Yuki, is a pretty big nickname for me. But I've also been called 'Half-pint' by Sabretooth, because he finds it funny to tease me. I usually kick him for it <3.

🪆🐍 I've been called a lot of nicknames, mostly from my husband <3. Misty, Mako, Lexi, Kaz, 'Tenille' , Sea and Shore, Little Sushi Roll, Dollface, Sweet bean ^^;;; hehe <3

🐉💉 oh my ^^ 'Mommy Miranda' is one, Dolphy, Fef, The Lady of Justice, I love getting nicknames, or lofty titles ^^

Um is anyone a system little that's not 3-5 and a girl? Like I'm around 8 or 9 right now I'm a age slider from 8 to 13 but all the system littles I find are like really really little and also girls

I use our middles blog even when I'm younger then 11 I know but

I'm lookin for someone that posts stuff I like or I guess just a system little or middle around my age

I like:

Pokemon

Splatoon

Slime Rancher

Minecraft

Doing puzzles like real ones with the pieces not like brain teasers idk how to explain it

Spiderman

Archie Comics but especially jughead

Teen Titans

Animals especially big cats just no big dogs please

Science and learning stuff about animals

One of my favorite shows is Weird But True

I like sour gummy candy and candy in general but that's not rlly a blog thing i don't think hahahaha

Maxwell was the dad of Willson? Script (Sorry if its uncanon, this story is a au):

ash: what's with the wedding ring maxwell? Maxwell: *shocked anime face*what's with this wedding ring? I was married and have a wife just like pickles does! My son was Willson.

Everyone: what??!!

Willson: th-that's ridiculous!

Maxwell: (red lens flare eyes like those memes on the internet) I had shared our secret hahahaha! (He says it in a loud bass boosted voice)

(ralts has a :/ face)

Maxwell: now if you excuse us, me, dark scratchy, Giovanni, archie and Maxie including the rest of the villains are gonna cause more mischief so long suckers!" Maxwell said and they all left.

Squirtle: What a *bleep*hole this Maxwell jerk is.

fuck it im posting my ocs (pics for those i have pics for) (dnd ocs first, then monster hunter, then pokemon)

Aria: fallen scourge aasimar of my dnd pirare universe. She and her gf overthrew the corrupt government that was rapidly expanding their corporate empire through the islands. Shes got some trauma and trust issues :)

Carisa: extremely mentally ill tiefling pirate with religious trauma! She led an entire pirate fleet against said aforementioned corrupt government. She’s the current Dread Pirate Roberts in my universe. Shes got a rapier that kills people all the way dead. Just a little bit based on catra.

Ruvaen Blackwater: a middle aged depressed divination wizard. Hes got a child that was kidnapped by some big bad group. He learned divination in order to find his only living blood family left (his mom died in childbirth, his dad is dead, his wife was killed). Hes got issues man idk what else to say.

Anthem Dragonforce: an anarchist drifter bard that’s actually a necromancer but casts spells through music. Hes part of a band that performs anywhere.

uhh now monster hunter ocs i guess

Reya Kuroda of the Hammerhead clan: shes cool, really strong and like 6’2”. Shes married to Kuroda Sukey, but ill talk about her later. Shes destroyed many monsters with her various assortment of weapons, mostly made up of hammers and greatswords.

Kuroda Sukey: aka the Star Slicer. Mentored under The Huntsman, the old master of the Long Sword. Married to Reya Kuroda. She treats hunting more as an important ritual rather than sport. Always approaches a monster with the intent of slaying it. Nicknamed the Immortal Samurai for how little times shes been knocked unconscious on hunts.

ok now pokemon OCs (hahahaha im not done with you yet pls read all of this im so tired rn)

Artemis: yes that artemis, the greek goddess one. Cast down to earth to take part in the island challenge as punishment for something. In the future she marries Lillie because reasons.

Morrigen: overall champion of alola and the ghost type specialist of the Champion Challenge in the Southside region. Wife of Jaundice, and haver of a homophobic mother. Guitarist and owner of a Shady House style mansion. The two team skull grunts in the pokemon centre in po town live there free of charge because they were so nice.

Jaundice: british champion of galar, and poison type specialist champion of the Champion Challenge in the Southside region. Chubby bassist and owner of the non-homophobic mother. Chill friend of marnie and supportive of her takeover of spikemuth.

Ditto #6: “10” year old “hispanic girl” that saved alola from lightlessness, then allied with necrozma to become the temporary champion. Canonically speaks through sign languge. Its pretty cool ngl.

Tahiti: this fucker is a hoenian gremlin. Literally a 14 year old marijuana user, she named her whole team after a different kind of drug. She wears solid black sunglasses because of the eyes thingy that happens to high people. Doesn’t actually care about either evil team, they just have funny words. Also they are fully convinced maxie is secretly transfem. And that archie is a pirate bisexual. Would beat steven in a pokemon battle then once hes realized he lost his champion title, shed reveal that shes been high this whole time.

if youve made it here, congrats. You get nothing but a 👍. I will probably make more of these idk. Im tired rn

feel ko masusuka ako na hindi kapag ganito archi typing tas mawawala lol parang bubulwak yung kinain kahit wala pa naman kinakain hahahaha sabi na ang sasabihin

Chicken Noodle Soup For The Shit Sole

Mother dragon’s tiny indulgence: Archie Comics. Never mind that it’s plastered with adult content for me to consume at around 6 going 7 years old. She even wanted to name me Maria Veronica and nicknamed Ronnie. :D When she told me this, I asked why she didn’t choose Betty, Josie or Cheryl, instead? She stared at me blankly and said, BASTA. Damn, gender bender since 1986 talaga.  Zygote pa lang ata ako, queer na ako since akala ng mundo namin sa Pasay is lalaki ako. Dad betted na if I’m a boy which he is super confident about my name is Jan Alvene. Alvene is a painful mashup of their names: Alex and Veneranda. Damn. Ang lala both talaga so, nag-isip talaga ako ng paraan para makatakas sa isa na namang kalokohan ng boomer parents. We can’t afford ultrasound noon and not sure if there’s such a thing na rin back then. LOL. All Pinoy signals of being a boy na baby, nasa mom ko. Napaglihian niya si Knight Rider aka David Hasslehoff so, sabi nila, when I move around my mom’s belly, iyak AF mom ko. Sabay two hands and feet. Opak. Tabi. Hahaha. Tuwang-tuwa naman daw dad ko because, for sure, this baby is maangas. :D Since mom and dad had a miscarriage, the two-year wait for me was a monumental one. Parang mali sila doon kasi when I was born, I had to be vacuumed kasi ayoko pa raw lumabas and malaking baby ako. But, wait, according to legit sources aka my dad and my ninong, titas and titos na kasama sa hospital, nag-brownout pa raw after kong lumabas. :D Shet. Kahihiyan na naman po kahit wala pa akong ni isang footprint sa earth back in ‘86, right? Later, I reasoned na baka nag-lights out kasi ‘di kinaya nung voltage ng vacuum because I was birthed in a super shabby lying in clinic lang with matching mga naiwang tsinelas sa ground ‘di umano.  I grew up in a compound that was filled with mostly adults. Even the kids there are pre-teens or teens na so ako lang talaga ‘yung bata tapos bilugan pa ako. Mom said na binawi niya ‘yung tiny food portions niya with matching a really healthy lifestyle na least fat, low carbs, and the works. Choice niya lang din. :D I was born super duper itim tapos may sugat sa scalp na malaki, super pango and syempre, naka RBF na ako. Hahahaha. I tried burning my super baby photos but mom lashed out on me. Super cutie ko raw pero dun din niya napatunayan na kahit panget akong baby, ang ganda ko raw sa paningin niya. She told me this nung naglalagay ako ng sipit sa ilong around 5 or 6 years old para daw ‘yung ilong ko umayos-ayos naman. HAHAHAHAHA. Syempre, ayoko ng sipit sa ilong, mhie. Ang sakit kahit may manipis na tissue in between my nose and the fucking’ sipit ng sampayan. Mom often recounted na nakita raw niyang needs improvement ako nung nakita niya photos ko with our malayong neighbor na maputing baby boy. LOL. Sabi daw niya, hassle ‘pag ‘di niya ginawaan ng remedyo. Mom and dad ko look saks lang. Very average. So, as a Taurus mom, she had to do a makeover sa akin. Damn. Bored stay-at-home moms nga naman. At ako pa unang pet  project. Syempre, baby pa ako noon so malay ko ba sa ginagawa niya sa akin. First, she shaved off all my hair. All of it. G na g dad ko kasi I looked like a legit boy na raw. HAHAHAHAHA. Sabi ni mom, walang makakapigil sa kanya because, my hair is like TROLLS since napaglihian din daw niya ‘yun. Cutie naman trolls ‘di ba? :D Sarap tirisin. I wore a number of bonnets para daw mukha pa rin akong girl pero mhie, no. Hahahaha. Then, ‘yung fingers ko, todo-massage daw siya kasi punggok nga ako so, sabi niya, try daw niya na maging decent-looking man lang fingers ko. Shet po sa details and focus ang nanay ko, ‘di po ba? Also, since funds are average din, ‘pag walang tao sa bahay, ‘yung suki niya sa Cartimar na nagbebenta ng goat’s milk, nagpupuslit sila sa house ng a few liters tapos binababad niya raw ako. Kasi legit, my skin is caramel. Sabi ko nga, sana ni-keep na lang niya caramel skin ko kasi hassle magbilad sa araw. Sabi naman ng nanay ko, ako na lang daw mamili kung anong gusto kong kulay. Ginawaan na raw niya ng paraan na kahit olive skin pa rin ako, mas bagay daw sa akin kesa super dark. UGH. ‘Di tiger mom nanay ko. Dragon mom. Burn, burn, burn since day one talaga siya. LOL. Hence, nasanay ako sa mga pangaasar with rebuttals at a tender age. Siguro pinaka arguable na ginawa ng nanay ko is i-correct ako since left-handed ako. Shet. Yes po. Sabi niya kasi, sa school daw, hirap maghanap ng left-handed desks. Mhie, why naman ganun. This is where my dyslexia journey started. Wala naman siyang kasalanan much kasi boomer. LOL. But, will share this next time, because, dyslexia is my curse and gift, too. EMS.  My childhood na wala ‘yung kapatid ko has been a relatively good one. Sabi nga ‘di ba your formative years really impact your life  kahit ayaw mo. Proof: Nood ka ulit ng This Is Us. :D Kahit ilang EPs lang. Ako noon, ‘di ko naiisip na may truth pala sa formative years na seeping sa adult life pero, damndamin. May sense pala ‘yun. I am able to air these out kasi, mas nakakausap ko na ‘yung inner child ko ng walang hagupit at impit. WIP pa rin pero getting there. ‘Di ko ramdam na unica ako kasi mom is never easy on me. She wanted me to take music lessons and all summer lessons kahit ‘di naman ‘yun bet ko. Then, planado na niya na all-girls’ ako all the way. Shet. May name drop pa siya ng school, mhie. LOL. Sobrang dream na dream niya ‘yun e ako, enjoy kalaro ‘yung apo ng tapat-bahay naming alta na naging friend ko mga lolo at lola nila first. HAHAHAHAHA. Natuwa kasi ako sa mini car nilang na with pedals. Syempre, since ‘di naman namin afford ‘yun, wait lang ako na pahiramin ako. ‘Di naman ako nambu-bully at all since all boys naman silang magkakapatid. Nung naging friends na mom ko saka ‘yung mom nung kababata ko, aba, umabot na kami sa twinning attires na androgynous. :D Wala naman akong naramdamang childhood sweetheart vibes kasi mas brusko pa ako sa kanila. Don’t get me wrong. Cuties sila pero super pino nila kumilos. Hahaha. ‘Yun lang naman ‘yun. Tapos na slight bangga ko pa ‘yung lola nila sa mini car kagulo. LOL. Baka need ko ‘tong i-address para makapag-drive na ako ulit. Forgive ko inner child ko na wala namang muwang. Mapilit lang noh? ‘Di naman nagalit ‘yung lola at lolo. As in. Terrified ako pero ‘pag uwi ko, syempre, sabi ng nanay ko, ‘wag na ‘wag na akong sumakay sa mini car. HAHAHAHA. Kung ‘di, alam na this. Weaved leather belt is waving. Eventually, naging best friends ‘yung nanay ko saka ‘yung nanay ng kababata. Sabi rin ng nanay ko, masungit daw ‘yung household na ‘yun pero smile ko lang daw and wave, pak na. HALA. Sabi ko, gusto ko kasing may kalaro na ka-age ko. ‘Yun lang. Bonus na lang ‘yung mini car kasi wala pa naman silang mini car nung naglalaro kami. Naka-bike pa kami noon.  We moved out of Pasay kasi ‘yung bahay na pinaka alta sa street namin nasunog nung anak ng may-ari. Jusq. Na-trauma yata mom ko kasi almost kabuwanan na niya ‘yun sa brother ko tapos mga 3 years old pa lang ako noon. Nung kasagsagan ng sunog which is malaki since big ass house talaga sila. ‘Yung laki na may marble tiles sa labas at may Chedeng at mataas na intricate gate. Ganern. Ang binitbit ni mother dragon are the following: camera, bike ko, milk with feeding bottle because this bilugang baby bitch is hangry since birth din, plus, wait, photo album ko. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Lekat. Sabi niya, she can’t move much and since her pregnancies come with bleeding, essentials lang daw dinala niya. I have flashbacks nung pag-kunot ng noo ko why dala niya bike and album and camera until now. Sabi niya, all stuff can be burnt to the ground kahit birth cert and marriage cert pero need ko raw ng laruan and memories na painstakingly niya ni-capture on film. Weirdo levels 100000000000000. Pero, fine. Gusto niya. She does not take spot on photos. Mostly awkward since walang artistic vibe nanay ko at all. Weakness niya ‘yan talaga. Masyado kasing technical si Taurus mom. As in. Wala siyang grey area. Always black or white AND black and white, sa akin ha. Pero sa brother ko, exact opposite siya. Skip na natin ‘yang part na ‘yan because, TMI na naman ako.  Since super tatawid na sa kabilang side, meaning sa side ng compound namin na wooden houses, naglakad kami sa eskinita and pumunta sa bahay ng ninong ko. Later, nung hinanap kami ng dad ko, stressed out siya kasi lahat nung kapitbahay and relatives na pinuntahan niya, wala kami doon. At last, nung natunton na niya kami, g na g na naman siya kasi bakit ang layo raw namin. Mom said na ni-sure lang niya na super duper our of danger zone kami. Dad asked mom kamusta bleeding niya. Oks naman daw. LOL. Pa-strong yarnnn?  I guess that my love for snaps and biking lead back to these roads. Ngayon ko lang ‘to na-realize. Medyo tearing up my heart and dying inside tayo because ang tagal nitong dumating na realizations pero OK lang kasi late is better than never and never ever. Kaya ‘di ko natuloy ang photography ganaps ko na because I silently melted away nung a week or so, nag-shoot ako tapos nung sa mom and bride na, talagang, guho-mundo kong ibabaw at ilalim. I (Also, bakit biglang piano version ng Reflection ang nag-play RN. Spotify, ang tahimik kong nagta-type dito a. Inaano kita? Inaano kita?)  was asked to be a junior photog na that time pero may onting conditions which I didn’t agree on like being part of a D-group. This came after a really passionate discussion about why metanoia exists and how it shows God is not a vengeful God. Hassle kasi talaga for me na direct hit ‘yung faith e pare-parehas lang ‘yan and dapat love is the true religion. Kanya-kanyang trip. Walang basagan. (Uy. Bakit ngayon naman, What The World Needs Now naman na jazz instrumental bigla nag-play. Eerily spot on kasi eto naman ang background music ng photos eme ng pinsan ko na ni-organize ko a few years back [though not this specific rendition] ??? FU Spotify.) Wala naman akong problema sa whole religion thing but the thing is... ayoko lang na faith ko which is rooted on my mother dragon’s plea will be on the line. Syempre, ‘di ko na ‘to sinabi which, I could have said out loud and proud, then. ‘Di naman ako magaling sa framing and technical stuff. LOL. But, I can say, I take photos like my mom... candid pero better framed. Lusot pa, mhie. Sagad mo. Kaya din super long overdue ng film photog era ko pero itatawid natin ‘yan para ma-test ang level of maturity natin. May Lomo naman ako saka Instax, pero iba pa rin ‘yung film snaps na may dark room. Baka umiyak lang ako sa loob. :D Hahahaha. Ang tagal ko ng may gustong specific camera and prime lens na pak for portraits and saktong bokeh babies. If not this year, sa 2024 na. It can wait. Kaya rin ayoko when people take snaps of me, 99.9% of my life.  LOLLOLLLOLLL. Periodt. More than me looking awkward talaga, I remember na every bad photo is an add on to mom’s curated ugh photos. LOL. Meron namang lumulusot ng snaps pero sobrang mapili talaga ako.  And biking? Even when mom is super duper conservative and fanatic ng black and white, she accepted me as a queer ever since. Syempre, naging hostile siya nung nagkaroon ako ng intro to L World because may barkada invite ako sa mga lez and butches nung high school, but, that aside, she allowed me to be comfortable with gender bending. She even got me several boy cuts ng hair para daw masanay ako na hindi lang one look ang meron ako. I have a very few dolls kasi ayoko talaga. And Lego and lutu-lutuan ang main free play ko noon. Both very gender-neutral and progressive. EMS. Kahit na 99% ng mga XY na umaaligid ay instant NO sa kanya, ‘di naman niya ako dinarang sa other side. :D LOL. Actually, super practical nga ng approach niya pero syempre, ‘pag hormones are cartwheeling and free-falling, ibang usapan na ‘yan. Twisted. Plot twists bombs everywhere. Sabi niya with feelings: If ‘di ka lang din sasaya, ‘wag ka na lang mag-asawa. LOLLOLLOLL. Tapos ‘yung meaning niya ng saya is 1000000% support and guidance to be a better person since maligalig nga akong tunay.  ‘Di naman need ng mayaman or whatever. Better daw na self-made or basta, matiyaga at madiskarte sa patas. And of course, dapat daw is God-centered.  HAHAHAHAHAHA. Basic ng reqs niya noh? Pak. Maka-checklist tapos ‘di naman ako chixxx since birth.  Also, sabi niya, mag-put aside para sa self. ‘Wag daw siyang tularan. ‘Di rin siya resentful sa life niya in general, mukha lang, pero sa deathbed niya, sabi niya is kaya ko na, noon pa. Shet. Gaging PL ‘to. Saksak puso. Bakit ko ba kasi ni-curate ito with feelings? Bakiiiittt? Ang aga-aga. Balik-BGC na kasi bukas kaya huling hirit bago ang bakbakang wantusawa.  Hello, friggin’ workflows. Come to this bilugan bitch because the bills and the life after bills are shaking.