Who among the ros is the best with kids/who actually wants to have kids??

🤲🏻

It's 2am sorry if I went a little cuckoo answering I'm sleep deprived

From best to worst with kids

Josh is definitely the best hands down. This comes as a surprise because on the one hand, he doesn't really LIKE kids all that much. At least when they're loud— if they're well-behaved Josh would find them adorable. On the other hand, Josh has all the qualities that would make someone good around kids: he's patient, attentive, and observant. MC just wife him up already c'mon.

He's indifferent to the idea of having kids. If that's something his partner wants it's fine, if they don't want it's cool too.

Number 2 is Lilith obv. They're number 1 in the indecent list (and all the lists of you people's hearts apparently💕) but they're very much self-aware they know when and how to behave. Children tend to like them because they're pretty, and Lilith likes kids in return, as they represent the very thing she finds the most fascinating: innocence. Their purity is something Lilith adores to watch, and she would love to be worthy of babysitting her friends’ kids.

Lilith wouldn't want to have children but they'd love the idea of adopting a kid.

Number 3 on my list is Victor! He adores children and would love the idea of having his own (but yeah complicated life situations). Though he's not the most open or engaging person in the world (and children are often terrified of him), Victor is not ashamed to show his very obvious soft spot for kids.

Next is Villanelle. She might lack every basic sense of responsibility, but kids are naturally drawn to her. They typically are awed by both her looks (especially her hair) and her bubbly personality. Villie is open to the idea of taking care of kids, she likes them if they're well-behaved and gets slightly (quietly silently never speaks up never) annoyed if they're loud and overbearing. Villanelle would especially enjoy the playing part of taking care of children over the actual taking care.

She's indifferent to children but would be convinced to adopt pretty quickly lol.

Honestly, everyone from here onwards is pretty much terrible. But Eden kind of might do a good job? He'd have to be somewhat invested with whoever asked him otherwise he wouldn't try at all or outright refuse. Eden knows the notions of taking care of kids but his awkwardness around them would definitely make them feel mistrustful. If they're loud and annoying Eden gives up period.

Eden feels indifferent toward the idea of having children. He's kinda leaning towards the ‘no’ side but could be convinced with time.

Number 6 is Dante… Dante doesn't mind kids. He's not the most enthusiastic around them and would hate the idea of being responsible or taking care of anything. Yeah, he'd probably forget a child under his care somewhere.

Dante is just happy doing his own thing and kids would be so constraining. Even if Dante did want kids he'd be really really unhappy in the long run.

Aliyah is next to last. She hates kids lol. Not even they manage to escape making it into her list of things she can't stand. Aliyah would probably get a record of making children cry if she was taken to a kindergarten. For the kids' sake, keep them away from her.

Yeah no children for her, she'd never have a kid of her own. It's a hard no.

And lastly Nathan. No explanations given here. I seriously wouldn't even let him take care of a rock.

As for having kids hmm I don't really see him giving it much thought tbh. Angels can't have children so they typically don't worry too much about being parents. Nathan is kind of indifferent too to the idea of fatherhood.

would the kids ever actually play with or find comfort in any of their toys or belongings that lawrence buys them? also what are some examples of the different toys or activities he bought for his kids?

Marshall would play with them out of boredom and then as he gets Stockholm syndrome, he’d find some attachment and comfort in them; so would Sadie, even if it’d take longer.

Nathan would try breaking them on purpose, but when Lawrence keeps buying more and making them somehow even more childish each time, he’d eventually just leave them alone. He secretly plays with them from boredom, but he’d never admit that.

For Sadie, Lawrence got her: dolls, play sets, dress-up costumes, arts and crafts kits, and toy kitchen sets. To fit her specific interests, he also got a toy camera and educational STEM toys.

For Nathan, Lawrence got him: action figures, building blocks, toy cars, and superhero-themed toys. Since Nathan’s favorite animal is a lion, he did get him lots of lion stuffed animals.

Lastly, Lawrence got Marshall mostly the same things both Sadie and Nathan got, along with at least ten times the plushies both Sadie and Nathan got.

None of the other hosts decided to make an intro post so I'm doin' it myself 👍

Look alive, sunshine...

Howdy :) We're Resurrect or Resurrected (usually stylized as Resvrrect like our URL here), we're a somewhat large system of 80+ that does not use -genic labels. Doubles, endos, & all others are generally welcome except assholes obviously. We don't really dislike any pronouns, but he/they is heavily preferred here. Also keep in mind that we are minor-bodied (16), in case that makes you uncomfortable. We don't mind interacting with anyone of any age, though.

We have four hosts, three of them run this blog while the fourth mostly posts from his own separate account. The hosts on this one are : Gerard, Ghoul, and Fun (me).

All we really ask is that you keep syscourse, real person shipping, and pro/comshipping of any kind the hell away from us. We don't mind interactions from anti-endos as long as no drama arises (don't listen to that part of the DNI on our Carrd. I'll delete it when I get around to it, it's late as of writing this and I'm not sure if I'll be fronting tomorrow).

A shortened ver of our DNI list :

Basically no creeps or their apologists. MAPs, zoos, necros, waycest & venom sib shippers, pro/comshippers/anti-antis, and the like. It does not matter if you're pro or anti-contact.

Frerard shippers. Those who equate the Killjoys to MCR (ex. see me, Fun Ghoul, as Frank Iero) are on thin fucking ice and I am side-eyeing you every time I post about my Party Poison

Anyone skeptical of fictionkin & factkin, introjects (especially factives considering one of our hosts is one), and anyone who equates us to cosplayers or roleplayers

"Gender critical"/TERFs/SWERFs/transmedicalists/truscum, you get the idea. If you have a problem with non-binary identities, xenogenders, neopronouns, they/them, it/its, get outta here

Additionally, anti-mspec gays/lesbians and those who conflate bi/pan/omni

Strictly NSFW/kink-centered blogs

Zionists

And lastly, anyone who knew our system members prior to us changing our name to Resurrected.

Some of us send asks off anon and just sign them with our name. Others send anons and sign off with emojis (you'll probably see at least one of us if you know Party or Gerard).

Some of our sign-offs :

🔧 - Fun Ghoul/Nathan (mine!)

🧨 - Ghoul

🪓🖤 - Party

🍒🦇 - Bat

Because this is getting under my skin a little at this point.

Of course Gabriel doesn't look like he's 19. Emilien is 30. Nearly all your "teen" characters in live action media are in their 20's at least.

Nathan and Annalise don't look like they're 17 either. Jay and Nadia are 24 and 26 respectively.

Also, of course Gabriel is trying to look and act as if he's older? He's been out in the world on his own for, it's implied, quite some time! The better part of a year at the absolute minimum. He wants to be taken seriously and seen as an adult / an equal!

Lastly: when I was 17 I was dating an 18 year old that could pass for 30 if he didn't shave his beard. I am not kidding when I say this guy could walk into a store that didn't card religiously and buy alcohol 9/10 times if he had his beard. People who look and act much older than they are exist in real life! That doesn't make them ACTUALLY older.

Actually one last point: I was 30 before people stopped thinking I was still on high school when they saw me. So just imagine how younger I looked when I was actually in high school. Dating a guy that looked like he was 30. Did that make our relationship inappropriate in some way?

Hi! I'm just wondering if you see ant parallels between Peyton/Jake and Maya/Zig? I haven't seen Degrassi in ages, but I remember Zig as a goodhearted, fun-loving, relaxed kind of guy who finds trouble even when he doesn't ask for it, kind of like Jake - and they both sing :) Meanwhile, Maya and Peyton are both artsy and creative, tough yet sensitive. I could be totally off base here!

Hey 💕 Aw, I love that you've watched Degrassi! I like those comparisons but honestly, I never felt like there were that many parallels between Zaya and Jeyton. Jake was on another level maturity wise due to becoming a teen dad while Zig definitely acted more his age. He was much more prone to impulsive decisions and wasn't as careful with his words as he could have been in contrast to Jake, who always seemed wise. But, I do think the two couples had somewhat similar journeys in terms of being friends before they were a couple. It didn't take Jake and Peyton nearly as long as it took Zig and Maya, but both waited for the emotional connection to be there prior to dating. Story line wise, they both slept together pretty early into the relationship albeit under different circumstances. I see the Maya/Peyton similarities far more than I do ones between Zig/Jake. Both girls went through a lot of pain from a young age and spent years not really getting sufficient help in terms of mental health. Plus like you said, both were curly haired blondes with artsy vibes. But in all honesty, I feel like the Zaya relationship is more a Naley/Leyton mix? With LP, it's mainly them being each other's primary love interest from the characters' first episode on the show and at least one instance of cheating while Lucas and Zig were dating Peyton's and Maya's best friend at the time, Brooke/Tori. In both cases, they had a lot of back and forth before finally ending up together in the end. Zig's and Maya's other love interests consistently point out that their relationship isn't finished and that Zig/Maya still has feelings for the other. When it comes to Naley, I feel like some of the relationship details are more similar. Maya, like Haley, was a musician and serious about pursuing her dreams even if it came at the expense of the person she loved. Zig, similar to Nathan, was more dependent on the romantic relationship because he also wasn't living with his family by the time he was dating Maya. There's also a small moment in a later season where Zig admits when he's only sixteen that he believes he and Maya are going to get married. Lastly, there was a whole story line where Zig worried about Maya spending time with another musician because he was insecure she would leave him for the other guy. They also had a moment of cheating that I guess could parallel the Haley/Chris kiss, but in that case it was Zig rather than Maya.

Other notable Naley/Zaya parallels:

Both Haley and Maya struggled with depression towards the end of their respective shows and attempted suicide. Nathan and Zig each played some sort of role in saving them.

Much like Nathan with Haley, Zig will throw down with any guy that messes with or threatens Maya in more ways than one

Like Nathan, Zig is pretty consistent in regards to knowing Maya is it for him. He's not like Lucas where he has a new true love every other season and bounces back and forth.

Anyways, sorry this was so long LOL

Random Question Time: (I'm hoping these questions weren't asked before. Ignore them if they were or if they are dumb, I apologize in advance!)

Which human character if turned into a giant all sudden would absolutely be overtaken by their new "power"?

And which giant if turned into a human would absolutely fall into helpless disarray?

Lastly, what would you say are the pet peeves for your main cast, Danny, Christopher, Nathan, and any others you'd love to go through? Peeves big or small. Ha, you get it, I'm done. XD I'd honestly like to know all of them, but don't if you don't want too!

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PEEPSTER!!

HAH! I love those first two questions because I actually started writing something for this (so far, just non-canon shenanigans lol) and somewhat unsurprisingly, the answer is Danny and Christopher. And I mean this quite honestly, not just because they're the main characters.

Danny would finally not be helpless anymore, and would certainly relish in a little bit of payback. She would finally get to hug Nathan. She could walk around outside, maybe take a walk in the woods, go down the street, eat at a nice restaurant. She'd try and take full advantage of her new "abilities." And if she knew it was safe, she probably wouldn't be against eating someone who deserved it, just to rub it in further-

Christopher would be absolutely terrified. His whole thing is maintaining a certain level of control in all situations. If he was actually reduced to that size, helpless, and at the whim of whoever he was with (especially someone who might have it out for him), he'd be freaking out. It would be a multifold nightmare for him - one, he'd lose a lot of his sharpened senses, which would be hard to get used to. It'd feel like he was running around blind. Two, he'd know how vulnerable he was, having previously had giant senses and...remembering how humans tasted. And even if he knew he would be safe throughout, being eaten would be a new and terrifying experience for him. It would be...humbling, to say the least. If he wasn't actively terrified, he'd probably just be an irritable grouch about it until he got back to normal.

As far as pet peeves...

Danny really doesn't like people who speak for her, put words into her mouth, that sort of thing. People who tell her how she should feel or what she should want. (Nathan's the exception here - she respects his opinion enough to know that he's just concerned for her.)

Christopher is a bit of a neat freak. He hates when people leave trash lying around, or dirty dishes, or just mess in general. He'll usually pick it up or clean it himself because of how much it bugs him, but it really rubs him the wrong way when people do it consistently. (This is probably a byproduct of how messy his parents were.)

Nathan hates being referred to as a "goody-two-shoes" or anything similar. Especially by people who barely know him. It's not just the fact that he doesn't eat humans - he never went to any crazy parties, didn't drink, smoke, and he doesn't really swear. Unfortunately that's enough for most people to label him pretty quickly, and he hates being labeled like that, even if it's not in an outright mean way. It just makes him feel like a child, and that's a big insecurity of his.

(that's probably all the characters I'll do for right now, this is at risk of becoming another novel entirely at this point lol)

Thank you for the questions, and I hope you have a swell-tastic day as well, friendo! :D

nails <3 also, why is her hand is scratched and dirty?

lmao, yes. on the other hand, who gets Samara into their *other* movie (first being Ready or Not in 2019) and gets her character killed immediately? rude. she's more than than.

on the OTHER hand, it seemed like she left the bar without paying for her drinks. she, like, walked out to check if the bar's sign is red, then crossed the road, then walked into a dark alley. c'mon!

lastly, why was Laura standing there??? get the fuck out of there. omg. you sure a teacher on slashers would do that? you sure an attractive young woman would do that?

the blood looks sooo fake. maybe that's the thing for slashers, idk, because i didn't like the original Scream either.

yeah.

so they took some of the cast from Ready or Not, huh.

this is kinda nice. a fresh coat of white paint would do nicely here.

A QUEEN RIGHT THERE. also, why does this have Sam & Nathan vibes? the woman that tased him is even called Sam. literally Sam looking out for Nathan!! though in the game Nathan is very much, "that's right, Sam. you tell that asshole. YOU TELL THAT ASSHOLE, SAM!!" i miss my boys.

oh, the music choice is just as good as in Ready or Not.

hello, precious, I haven't seen you since Nashville. though they make you look forty in this movie, not thirty.

why is every Scream movie that I have seen looks like a comedy that's not even funny? WHY is it so bad? like, the directors are GOOD at their job. there's literally Ready or Not that's AMAZING. what's going on here? was the purpose of this to make it in character for slashers therefore make it BAD? this is so not your typical horror movie.

the dude from across the hallway is so cute. so protective of her. i'm kinda surprised they didn't make him one of the killers. but then again, i guess Sam needs at least some sense of safety. he seems to be really found of her.

THIS IS A COMEDY.

what the fuuuck? :D this is ridiculous.

Kirby is nice. I like her.

Chad still being alive after the way they stabbed him and left to bleed out... I'm not sure that would be possible irl. And the doctors letting them kiss and take their time? Is this a kids' movie or something?

Part 2 of the Wonder AI images, and I’m ngl so far the Wheatley and Glados is the best I’ve gotten. I feel lucky they turned out as good as they did now-

So here’s Rick

He’s alright, but I retyped the prompt about 10 times and this thing would not give him a brown coat so we’ve got layers of green. Also that first image always gives me Shaggy vibes idk if that’s just me-

Here’s Nathan, which is about when it started to ignore my desperate attempts to give him his correct outfit

Okay so-

I think the best here is probably the 2nd one or the 4th because at least the vest itself is some form of pink and isn’t a weird pop art style I also feel like it made him look really young, like still-a-child young for some reason

And lastly, Pluto

Believe it or not, I used ‘mullet’ to describe their hair in every one of these. The best is definitely number 2.

There will be a part 3 if the app doesn’t decide to just ignore me entirely

So I am in the Life Is Strange Fandom & the Stranger Things Fandom (i like strange shit ig), also She-Ra and the Princesses of Power Fandom and jesus fucking christ. This is gonna be a long one so sit tight.

SPOILERS FOR LIFE IS STRANGE (& BEFORE THE STORM), STRANGER THINGS, and SHE-RA and the Princesses of Power. TW/CW for all of the things in those games and that show, you can look them up online, LIS especially has lots of results for looking up trigger warnings and stuff.

If you look through our page there are. a lot. of billy defending posts and stuff. I am a hardcore Billy apologist/defender. But I'm also a defender and sort of apologist for Nathan Prescott. And they both are just about universally hated by their respective fandoms.

I am very much against the demonization and villainization of both of them and any mentally ill, abused, groomed & manipulated teenager/barely adult (*cough cough* Catra, and i will bring this up later as well *cough cough*). And I also am very much against comparing trauma, abuse, etc. to say that one person deserved better than the other. That's not what I will be doing. This is an analysis post, and while I will be comparing them at times, NEVER, will I say that one of them is better or worse. Because THAT'S THE FUCKING ISSUE WITH YOU BILLY ANTI'S. And I will die before I end up like you guys. There is no "bad" abuse victim or "good" abuse victim. There is no "good" or "bad" abuse. Lastly by the end of both of their lives and respective piece of medias (at least the parts that have them in it) they are both redeemed. If you believe otherwise just fuck off, I don't want you here.

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Let's start with Nathan Prescott. He is a 19 (barely) yr old at the time of the first LIS game. He is barely an adult, and still a teenager. The thing that kicks off the game is the mc Max rewinding time unknowingly after watching Nathan shoot a girl (Chloe) with a gun in a bathroom. While impact is always more important than intent, you don't get to ignore intent either. So let's go over what happens in the moments leading up to the shooting of Chloe.

He enters the bathroom (keep in mind we see all of this from Max's perspective hidden behind a stall) and goes to one of the sink mirrors and talks to himself, basically trying to calm himself down and get some sense of control. Chloe then enters and they have a conversation about her demanding money since she knows he is from a rich family and has been giving out drugs at the school, in turn for not telling everyone that, in her words, he is a "punk ass who begs like a little girl and talks to himself." While they are having this conversation you can tell he is becoming more erratic, his breathing as he talks is faster than natural and he is panicked.

When she threatens him with that and pushes him he cuts her off, pushing her off of him and pulls out a gun, notice HE DOES NOT DO ANYTHING UNTIL THREATENED AND PHYSICALLY TOUCHED. She backs up against the wall and he gets close to her, aiming the gun at her stomach and yells, "Don't EVER tell me what to do! I'm so SICK of people trying to control me!" and again his breathing is uneven.

He smacks his hand on the wall a couple times while he talks to her, which could be seen as an intimidation tactic but it seeing as he is also panicked and the fact that he very much has BPD, C-PTSD, and he is probably autistic (while this is not confirmed, if you are autistic it is very easy to see the, probably unintentional, autistic coding of him throughout the games.), this could very well be more of a self regulating (aka stimming) behaviour. Everytime he does it it's when HE is talking, to calm himself down a bit for when it is her "turn" to speak which will no doubt push him to being more upset.

Speaking of pushing. AGAIN. She pushes him, which this time is completely fair and valid for her since he has a gun leveled at her stomach and she is scared, but again, he doesn't actually accelerate his actions until physically touched/pushed, this time he shoots her. And while not necessarily as obvious until you see the same scene again at the end of the game if you choose the Save Arcadia Bay option where the scene actually gets to play out more instead of being rewinded, Nathan did not mean to shoot Chloe.

He shouldn't have had the gun, and he shouldn't have had his finger on the trigger, and he shouldn't have shot her, none of that should have happened, and it's not excusable, but it is COMPLETELY understandable if you look at his behaviour during the scene as well as the fact that he is and has been abused for his whole life and he is mentally ill. When he accidentally pulls the trigger after being pushed off, the gun fires and shoots her in the stomach and she falls to the ground dead, in the Save Arcadia Bay ending we see his reaction to this where he drops the gun, and proceeds to freak the fuck out. there is no dialogue that we can hear from him during this, but he starts pacing holding his hands to his head, he even goes and tries to shake her awake at one point, obviously she is dead and it doesn't work but he is scared and panicked and doesn't know what to do.

This is just the first like 10 maybe 15 minutes of the game. Throughout most of the rest of the game he is just a bully and a privileged asshole, until the end. We'll get to that later. That's really the main thing he does during the game that is that bad, all the other stuff happens before the game takes place. Now lets go to the prequel Before The Storm which. takes place before the storm.... duh doi. It takes place either 2 or 3 years before the first game if I remember correctly and is from Chloe's perspectice and Chloe & Nathan and a lot of the other characters are roughly 16.

Nathan was still kind of a prick to people back then though I don't know if he was necessarily a bully? He definitely was getting bullied though, even in the first episode we see one of the other jocks takes his photo album/portfolio (which is a very fucking important and often times sentimental to anyone who does photography). The jock is angry that Nathan is on the team and even fucking calls him Twitch. (I very much consider this a slur, and unless you suffer from this shit and have been called it like we have you don't get a say on whether it is or not.) MULTIPLE. TIMES. He is very fucking ableist and a pos.

He even threatens to throw the portfolio into a water fountain, which would destroy all the photos. For those of you unaware of photography stuff. Portfolios. Take. Forever. To put together. It is hourssss of work and effort. Nathan does say something in response to the jock that is not cool, and normally I would not let slide, but if you're called a slur by someone I feel like you should have every right to fight back and be a bit of a bitch. Later in BtS we see and overhear his shit excuse for a father be verbally abusive to him and by the behaviour of both of them in that scene and with Nathan's language (both verbal and body language) you can tell this isn't new. This has happened before, a lot, and absolutely will happen again.

So to summarize, he is an abused teenager with C-PTSD, BPD, and is probably autistic, who has no actual father figure or any ounce of actual support in his life. (Sounds very similar if not exactly like Billy, the only difference being Billy is poor and Nathan is rich) Then a teacher from Nathan's school, Mr. Jefferson, comes along and takes him under his wing and protection, basically becomes like a father to Nathan. But Mr. Jefferson over the years also manipulates and gaslights him, he's just better at making it not as obvious, and he grooms Nathan into being like him, and doing things for/with him.

Mr. Jefferson is able to get money from Nathan's abusive pos father, and have a Dark Room built. And he has Nathan drug girls at Club parties and they kidnap them, bringing them back to the Dark Room and taking photos of them and shit. Remember. Nathan. Has been. Groomed. And Manipulated. Into. Doing this. He does not actually fucking want to hurt anyone. Also. He is a vulnerable fucking teenager boy.

Skip forward by a lot to a bit before the first game takes place. Rachel Amber (Chloe's girlfriend) has gone missing, we find out by the end of the game that she is dead and buried in a junkyard. Through Mr. Jefferson we learn that Nathan drugged her and brought her to the Dark Room and was attempting to do what Jefferson had been doing. But that he messed up and gave her an overdose on accident and it killed her. WE LEARN THIS. FROM THE BITCH. WHO HAS BEEN MANIPULATING EVERYONE SINCE BEFORE THE GAME EVEN STARTS. HE EVEN SAYS AT ONE POINT THAT HE CAN/WILL BLAME ALL OF THIS ON NATHAN AND THE PRESCOTT FAMILY. I absolutely do not believe that Nathan actually killed her.

Right before the game takes place another party happens and Nathan has to drug another girl and take her back to Jefferson, Kate Marsh. This girl survives like most of Jefferson's victims did presumably, we don't see any of the others in the games but based off context clues we can assume deaths were not intended, 'cept for Rachel by Jefferson. Kate Marsh was recorded at the party and then bullied and slut shamed for the... content. of said video. She had already been drugged by the point the video had been started, she remembers during the games time that Nathan took her somewhere, she thought it was a hospital but it was actually the Dark Room.

She gets bullied to a point that in Episode 2 you have to save her from jumping off a building in front of everyone and commiting suicide, you can fail or succeed, it all depends on your choices. Nathan was in the crowd of people at the bottom and saw this happen.

Now let's cut to the end of the game. Max was kidnapped by Jefferson (also Victoria if you successfully warn her about Nathan and the Dark Room. so... don't warn her. ik that sounds wrong but it actually saves her.) and Chloe has been shot again and killed, by Jefferson. Jefferson tells Max while she is kidnapped in the Dark Room that Nathan is dead and buried. Jefferson killed him to cover his tracks. It is implied he was dead before Max and Chloe even left the party and ended up getting kidnapped at the junkyard when they went to check to see if Rachel's body was still there.

A bunch of time shit happens and eventually David (the security guard and Chloe's step-dad) comes and save Max (potentially killing Jefferson if you tell him he killed Chloe). Max leaves the bunker and takes Jefferson's car and heads off to the Two Whales Diner, during the cutscene of her driving she checks her phone that Jefferson took and left in his car. She has one missed call and she lets the voicemassage play. It's from Nathan (and I'm gonna be 100% when I heard his voice during this, I fucking broke down) and it was from 9 pm the night before, the night of the party, not long before he died.

He called to tell Max he was sorry, that he didn't wanna hurt Rachel, or Kate, that he didn't wanna hurt anyone. Everyone used him. And that Jefferson was coming for him, and that he'd be coming after Max next and for her to watch out and be careful. He had to hide and basically wait for Jefferson to come kill him. And he could've done anything with what little time he had left, but he chose to warn Max for her safety and tell her as much as he could, apoligize as much as he could. All while crying and sobbing while waiting for his death. He is 18 when this happens.

The same age Billy dies, sacrificing himself for his sister, her friends, and a stranger who is the first person to ever show him any kindness since his mother left him as a kid to be abused for the rest of his life.

Billy had no chance from the get go. Since he was a child. For a while he had his mother to take the abuse for him from his pos excuse for a father, Neil. He had to watch his mother get abused to protect him for years, until eventually she left. And she didn't take him with her. Then Neil turned his abuse on to him. Then Neil started dating Susan, and her, and her daughter Max move in. (I am gonna be referring to Max as a girl for the sake of this because that's what cannon but I absolutely believe Max is trans)

The only sense of safety he has left at this point is that he lives in California, where he grew up, where he knows the ins and outs of his neighborhood, and as someone who has and is still growing up in an all too similar situation to his, he absolutely had escape routes planned and hideouts all over the town he grew up in. Then that gets taken away too. He's forced to move with his abusive father, step-mother who doesn't fucking stop the abuse, and step-sister who he takes the abuse for like his mom did for him, to a new town, with new weather, and new people, across the country.

He asserts his dominance at school as soon as he steps out of his Camaro, STOMPING his feet onto the new ground. He has to gain as much control and power as he can as quick as he can or else he won't survive here, and he knows that. He quickly becomes the new top dog, the spot being left open now that Steve has sort of left his title of King Steve. When you are being constantly abused, at "home" and you have no control or any way to stop it. You do whatever you can to survive, and anytime you can leave and go get a sense of control elsewhere? You do it. School as horrible as it is, is an escape for a lot of people, same with sleepovers, they're a way to escape the abuse for a little bit.

Let's keep in mind that he doesn't just get abused for "his actions". (Idk how to word it otherwise but I wanna clarify, no ones deserves abuse or brings that upon themselves, the blame is on the abuser) He gets abused for "Max's actions" too. If she runs away or does something Neil doesn't like, Billy takes responsibility. Some people like to say that he only does that because he has to, because Neil forces him to be a parent for Max and take responsibility for her. And while that is absolutely what Neil does. He absolutely would take it for Max anyway. Especially after growing up with his mom doing that for him.

Also, I am not gonna touch on the "racism" bit because I have other posts that go in detail about that and debunking/explaining that. So feel free to go look for those, but I will say, racism is not inherent. It is learned.

His relationship with Max is not healthy, I absolutely will never say that it is. But. again, it is understandable. Neither of them necessarily love the situation they've been forced into. We know that they do actually care about each other, but that doesn't make their relationship any healthier or less toxic. He is verbally abusive, and one time he is physically abusive. I clarify that it is only one time not because that means "oh well he isn't an asshole it only happened once" abuse is abuse, it still happened.

But to bring attention to the fact that people think what happened in the car was normal and frequent when it obviously isn't. He grabs her wrist loosely causing her to flinch and look at him in surprise and shock. As someone who was constantly physically abused and who literally has trauma in relation to being grabbed by the wrist and pinned to the ground. YOU DO NOT REACT LIKE THAT AT SOMETHING THAT IS A FREQUENT OCCURRENCE. Would you flinch, absolutely, but when you get abused, especially physically, on a frequent basis, or even if it's just happened more than like once or twice, you get used to it. You get conditioned to expect it.

She didn't expect him to grab her. And when she got her barings and he was done talking she was able to pull her wrist out of his grasp easily. Later in season 2 she runs away from the house WITH the person Billy told her to stay away from. Neil and Susan return home from a date(?) and see she's gone, then the infamous abuse scene happens. Susan just watches while Neil calls Billy a fag(got? o don't remember if it was the full word or not) and physically, verbally, and emotionally/psychologically abuses him "because" (again he does not deserve abuse but idk how else to word this) he was supposed to watch Max and she ran away while he is preparing for a date.

So Billy has to cancel his date and and go on a goose chase around this still unfamiliar town to look for her. He stops at the Wheeler house and Mrs. Wheeler opens the door and immediately it is obvious that she is.... interested, in Billy, a 17 yr. old. she's like 40. Billy gets the information he needs out of her and he ends up at the Byer house. Where Steve comes out to talk to him, and tells him a straight up, bold faced, lie. right to his face. That Max isn't there.

Billy then points out how fucking uncomfortable and creepy this situation is, this guy who is his age, has his sister, who he knows is there for sure when he sees her in the window, in a strangers house, and then lies about it. And coming from the situation at the Wheeler house, and the fact that he doesn't know Steve or any other sit about this town, the people, or any of the supernatural shit going on, it is absolutely sound reasoning that he would come to that conclusion. So he decks Steve and knocks him out temporarily.

He goes into the house and sees Max with a group of boys, one of them being the one he told her stay away from. And you can tell at this point that he is dissociated. He is having a panic attack, not the "good" kind where he simply just shuts down and hyperventilates like a lot of u fuckers believe is the only form of panic attack. He has tunnel vision, and he repeats the abuse scene from earlier, with Lucas. Steve eventually gets up, comes in, and pulls him off of Lucas, then Billy and Steve get into a fight. Billy beats the shit out of Steve, knocking him unconscious, after having taken a couple blows himself. His facial expressions during this scene make it very apparent that, IN HIS MIND, he is imagining Steve as Neil. He isn't almost k!lling this random classmate who has maybe done some creepy/fucked up shit. He is attempting to kill the man who has abused him his whole life, and has sent him here. BY NO FUCKING MEANS. AM I DEFENDING HIS ACTIONS (other than decking Steve outside because he had every reason to believe what he assumed was going on to be true).

Eventually Max does something, which is not nearly talked about enough and is JUST AS BAD as what Billy was doing to Steve. She took a syringe of SOMETHING, she didn't even fucking know what was in it or how high the dosage was of whatever it was, and injected Billy with drugs. That literally could've fucking killed him, just as easily as if he had finished what he was doing to Steve. She literally could've knocked him out with the bat! SHE USED IT LIKE FIVE SECONDS LATER TO THREATEN HIM INTO SUBMISSION, WHEN HE WAS ALREADY ALMOST PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR, WITH THE SAME WORDS AS NEIL! And if any of you try to say some stupid shit like "oh the bat has nails" i will bite you. bats have two ends, and a long ass middle. I HAVE A NAILED BAT. Trust me, the bottom and other non-nailed parts can easily fucking knock someone out if you swing right.

He passes out and they leave him, UNCONSCIOUS & ALONE, in the house with no fucking protection. THERE ARE LITERAL DEMODOGS AND SHIT EVERYWHERE. HE COULD HAVE DIED AGAIN. And we don't see him again until the next season. Where he, other than the fatphobic comment he gives one of the kids at the pool, doesn't do shit. Him and Max are at the very least back to how it was before Hawkins if not better (aka neutral). He has been groomed by Karen and sexualized by her as well as many other older women at the pool, keep in mind. HE IS BARELY FUCKING 18 AT THIS POINT. BARELY AN ADULT. Also I would like to mention that Karen doesn't cancel her and Billy's date because she realized "Oh I'm a creepy, disgusting, groomy fuck." She canceled it because she "has a family and doesn't want to hurt them" (and then continues to for the most part ignore everything that's going on with them for the rest of the season and show, tho not nearly as much as T*d)

Until the very end of the season he is Mind Flayed. He is a vulnerable, abused, mentally ill teenager, just like Nathan (other than the class difference), and he gets controlled/brainwashed and forced to kill a bunch of people and do the Mind Flayer's bidding. He is only freed of the MF's control when a random girl, he has never met, shows him kindness. pure, genuine, innocent fucking kindness. This girl who owes him nothing, who he has never met, looks at him and sees what all of you idiots refuse to see. The truth. That he is a scared. And hurt. Teenager. Who was robbed of a fucking childhood, and life. Just like her. And she reminds him of the last time he was happy. A beautiful day on the beach with his mom, when he was just a little boy and could still see the best in people. And that is all it takes to break him out of the MF's control. And he doesn't get to verbally apologize like Nathan did, but lile Nathan he did sacrifice his life to protect those around him who were in danger. His sister, her friends, and this young girl who just saved him, and gave him one last moment of happiness and peace.

These two characters are treated so horribly by the creators and fandom. While Catra, while in the first couple seasons people absolutely treated like shit, eventually, and especially by the end of the show, just about everyone forgave. She has C-PTSD, BPD, and again is (although maybe unintentionally) coded to be autistic. She grew up and wasn't able to escape her abusive "home" for a majority of the show. And the two times she does she almost immediately starts getting better.

She went from having one person who was supposed to be a parent figure control and abuse her, to someone with even more power control and abuse her, taking advantage of the whole that was left from the first abuser and her sense of safety, Adora, leaving/being taken away. She has multiple panic attacks, and in the wasteland where she has started healing and getting better, finding out that her abuser/mother figure left her for Adora, sends her into a fucking tailspin. She has full tunnel vision and returns to the only thing familiar she has left. "Home". And she almost destroys the entire planet/universe as well as attempts to kill herself because she has nothing and no one left.

Then the she gets save in season 5, she did "One good thing" and sent Glimmer away from her prison, back to Adora, and apologized. That was the moment a lot of us generally agreed she was redeemed. She didn't think Adora would come back to save her, she expected to die, and she was fine with that. But Adora did save her, and she, along with the rest of the group, showed her kindness. And she started healing.

There are maybe 3 differences between Catra and Billy & Nathan.

1. Catra was younger, by like a year or two. I believe she was 16-17 throughout the course of the show (other than flashbacks obviously duh doi).

2. She wasn't given only the option of death or prison (if u choose Save Arcadia Bay at the end of LIS he gets arrested and sent to prison not a mental help facility or anything just straight up prison). Once Adora saved her she had the choice to get dropped off on a planet to wither away and die on, which she almost chose, though not out of not having another way out or self-sacrifice. And the second option she was allowed, life. Live and fight with the group and help make the world better.

3. Before I say this one, I'm gonna clarify something because I KNOW, someone is gonna try to say I'm just a misogynistic piece of shit, when I am literally only talking about statistical facts. I am a trans man. and yes trans men can be misogynistic, ANYONE CAN BE MISOGYNISTIC, WOMEN TOO. But I am only actually percieved as a man by myself, my fellow system members, and SOME other trans people. I don't have male privilege, and by almost eveyone else in the world I am seen as a girl and am treated as a girl.

She's a girl. It is a hard fucking fact, that when boys (and people percieved by the general population as boys, the world is transphobic, thats another fact) get abused and end up lashing out (except for when they SA someone then society always believes the guy) they get demonized and treated like shit. Compared to when that happens with a girl (or someone who is perceived as one by the general population, again the world is transphobic) most people will say either choose to defend said girl and say she had no other choice or, there are those are just SO sexist and misogynistic that they will say shit like "oh she must be on her period" and other stuff like that. Girls are listened to and believed when being abused not even half the time (except for SA which again is EVEN LOWER), and boys are believed even less than that. Because this stupid fucking world is sexist, misogynistic, homo/transphobic, and all of that shit. And especially. Ableist.

If someone is a victim they are expected and forced to be the "shy meek victim" if they want any support or kindness. The moment they aren't what people perceive as a "good" victim they not only don't believe them and belittle them. They demonize and villainize them, and, like with Billy, even say they deserve to be abused and deserve to die.

Wrap-up Time/Final Notes: Victims. Are. Victims. There is no "good" or "right" way to be a victim. And there is no "bad" or "wrong" way to be a victim. I say this not only for you pieces of shit who treat us like we're horrible people for acting out and fighting back against our abuse, but also for anyone who has gotten this far who may need to hear it. Obviously not everyone can fight back and stuff, that could put you in more danger. But know that no matter what, you are valid, you're feelings, experiences, trauma, everything. There are some us out there who will listen and be there for you, we might not be able to help you escape completely, but we can at the very least lend an ear. No one is "better" or "more deserving of help" than you. We shouldn't be fighting each other for air, that is how the world works, it pits us against each other, but we can fight back for the right to live, and for those of us who are unable? I can't speak for eveyone, but we will gladly fight for you're air to breathe to the best of our ability. We all deserve to not have to survive, we deserve to live. ACTUALLY live. And be happy, and safe, and at peace.

-Signing off. Jace Rudolph Briar

(It/Its, Lem/Lemon, Pix/Pixel, and Muff/Muffin)

Tidbit on Benjamin Tallmadge!

When visiting Williamsburg this summer, I bought a book called Washingtons Spies: The story of America's first spy ring, written by Alexander Rose. This book holds one of my favorite pieces of info about a revolutionary figure. “Tallmadge had a disconcerting habit of cocking his head like a quizzical beagle.” So today I will be telling you briefly about Benjamin Tallmadge, one of my absolute favorite revolutionaries. 

Some quick info on Tallmadge before the war. He came from a large and relatively wealthy family and was well-educated. He began attending yale in 1967 and was introduced to Nathaniel hale [ i would love to make a separate post on their friendship]. Upon graduating from yale he began teaching high school in Connecticut. 

Past the younger stuff, onto the military. In 1776 Tallmadge fought in the battle of long island, this battle encouraged him to enlist in the Connecticut militia. He went through a series of changes soon after, including transferring to captain in the 2nd continental dragoon regiment, and in April of 1777 getting promoted to major. In 1778 general Washington appointed Tallmadge as director of military intelligence, with the hopes of collecting secret intelligence on the British troops. 

This intelligence ring as we know it today as the “Culpur ring” was a success. Using coded correspondence and implementing tools such as invisible ink, the Culpur ring was able to gather information effectively. Noted on the mount Vernon site, the Culper ring was able to successfully prevent an invasion of British troops to long island in 1780, which is considered the Culper rings largest accomplishment. 

After the defeat of British troops in Yorktown, Tallmadge remained in the army until the disbanding in 1783. Some later life events include: later becoming a member of the Connecticut branch of the society of Cincinnati, Marrying Mary Floyd in 1784 and having 7 children, and serving in the U.S House of Representatives as a Federalist. 

Tallmadge died on March 7th, 1835 at the age of 81. 

Final two facts I wanted to include were that Nathan Hales’ death heavily effected Benjamin, and a large portion of inspiration to create the Culper ring was from his death. Lastly, Mary Floyd’s [Wife of ben] father was William Floyd, a New York representative in congress that signed the declaration of independence. (I have no reason to find that interesting but I wanted to include it)

[ Hi if you read this far! Thank you so much for the support through my hiatus, I'm hoping to post at least once or twice a month from now on. I'm thinking my newer posts will talk about a different part of history than amrev but I am not sure quite yet! Please leave comments if any info is not correct or you have any ideas for the post!]

Continued.. December 27, 23

Lastly yesterday. I had a chill morning cause I needed it. Went to the park with nova & Nathan met me there for a walk. Zack had asked to meet up & I made the expectation clear on what he was wanting out of it which was nothing. Idk why I do this to myself man, I hope I don't regret this again but I agreed. We went skating in bowness and it was really nice. Idk I almost just don't want to say anything because dumb future self is going to look back & be like you're a moron if things pan out the same. He said a lot of good stuff though & how he's been hitting rock bottom. Didn't say "this time is different" which was nice, but started going to NA meetings which alone is at least a step. When I said "how would you react if your daughter was dating a man like you & how you've treated me" & that hit him hard. Again I don't want to get into it too much because I'm not getting my hopes up. I went for a short dinner with Conner after which was alright. Nice to catch up but yea still just whatever. Then ended up going out for a drink/food with Zack again after & back to his place for a movie which I kept my boundaries firm, not matter how much I desired anything. Idk what the heck man but there's something about him that absolutely drives me insane & I can't get over. I just take one look at him & i'm in love again I fucking hate it. Anyways, we continued to have really good conversation & aired so much stuff out. This time, like times in the past I've went on a bit of a ramble about like how I felt in situation etc & I felt like I would loose him, he wouldn't fully acknowledge things I said & would kind of be quiet, but this time I fully listened & acknowledged many points, it was different actually. But good, like we really did talk about so much & touch on hard topics & was able to get closure & understanding. It was honestly probably one of the better conversations we've ever had. I don't want to get any hopes up nor am I allowing anything to go anywhere & this time he actually realizes how he needs to do this for himself & this could take at least a year for him to feel like he's back on his feet & it sounds like he's actually wanting it this time for himself, so Idk, I just pray that this is different for him. I really just want the best for him & I enjoy his company so much but I just need to keep my boundaries & help enforce that we keep building a friendship foundation. We'll see. Anyways, that's the last two weeks recap. Hopefully within the next 3 days while I'm off I can sit down & recap the year again with where I'm at & I would like to be able to think about what 2024 will look like & set some goals that I want to strive towards. I really do want to go into this next year committed to myself and my relationship with God. No more chasing others for attention, no more trying to force anything, relationship, friendships etc. I just can't do it, doesn't feel authentic & continue investing into those who are investing back into me & keep growing. I know I still have a lot of things to continue to work on, I still want to be reading a bunch which I'm really stoked that I've been doing so much more reading, this Libby app has been game changer. I love the feeling of a book but man, I've done 3 audiobooks I think & read a full book already in a matter of only a few short months so I definitely want to carry that into the new year & really get through some of these that are on my TBR. Anyways, I'm going to make some food & decide how productive I want to be today.

yikes! so with all the trouble nathan gave him, did lawrence ever consider giving up? just letting the kid go, especially if he felt a small sort of relief (from what i read! correct me if i'm wrong) when nathan escaped?

and, again i'm so sorry i'm sending so many questions, but what makes lawrence see the "kids" as his kids? what does he look for in people, or is it just a click/connection?

Don't be sorry for asking questions, as I said, I enjoy answering them!! :)

And yes, he has thought about letting Nathan go, since things weren't going how he imagined it. Sure, he thought Nathan would show some anger and defiance, but he wasn't caving in as quickly as he had hoped.

And for Sadie, it was because she looked like Nadia, his deceased fiancée. They always wanted a family, and since Sadie looked young, he had a thought that Sadie could've and would've been theirs in another life, especially because Nadia always wanted a girl. This was shortly after Nadia died that he started getting this thought.

For Nathan, he reminded him of someone desperately in need of a loving father, always venting about how much pressure his biological father put onto him. Lawrence saw his vulnerable side that no one else did, making him feel like this was destined to work out.

Lastly, Marshall just seemed... sad and innocent. Easy to manipulate, especially given Marshall was on the streets, seemingly having nowhere else to go. The least complicated reason of all three.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Feelings

Feeeeeelings

Don’t like em

Dooooont like em.

For the first thing, my feelings towards Chris are very complicated and they are haunting me. Does that mean I’m over him? That I’m comparing to him? I don’t know. Perhaps. Perhaps not. I can’t think to deeply into my psyche like that. All I know is I still think about him, and I constantly have to remind myself the vast majority of the pain he caused me, that I’m thankful I have those videos of me breaking down because without them I do not think I would be able to remember the hard parts of my relationship with him. And I find it very troubling that I have memory issues like that. Lastly on the Chris matter, I’m always think about him in the “next person,” but I’m not sure if that’s implying good or bad things.

The second matter to dwell on is my feelings for Joe…. I…. Have very complicated feelings for him but yet again here I am, with my heart absolutely screaming for him. Like,,,, I have shit memory but I haven’t felt this way for someone since like Cody or Nathan, i believe I’ve said that before. Like Chris doesn’t even compare to what it comes to my type of a person, or a man, but mostly a person.

And like, I’m so giddy and overwhelmed by it, it’s a crush for sure. I want to explore it though but I know the time isn’t right. But I’m impatient as well. This school girl crush feeling I have for Joe…. I’ve had that from almost the moment I met him, it took me years to fall in love with Chris. I didn’t feel this way for him until only maybe days before we were dating. I can’t even say weeks. I was just very protective of him and I didn’t like sharing, and I didn’t like Kiera most of all. I do remember constantly doubting if i was actually attracted to him, I was over time. Physical attraction is something I can almost easily find in anyone. But I remember asking myself if i could love him, and I was afraid of committing to him. I’m glad I didn’t after all these years. I thinks that’s why my life felt so suicidal, because I felt trapped with him. And now I’m free again to be myself and explore myself and love the parts of me I forgot.

I think that’s why I like Joe so much, because this is the most rude version of myself I’ve ever been and still seems to at the very least want to be friends with me.

That’s the other thing about Joe… I don’t know what he feels about me, or how he feels about me, or if I’m paranoid and stupid or if things are going over my head. I’m so confused with him and I wish I had someone to talk to about it. (((This is a huge reason why I don’t think Chris understand why being friends was near impossible for us…. If I stayed friends with him, would he talk to me about these things? Would he be okay with it? Would he turn into an asshole and ghost me and tell me to fuck off?? I think he would do that last one, knowing how possessive he was of me just liking FICTIONAL MEN… ugh))) Anyways….

Again, with my shitty memory, I don’t remember if Joe hugged me or not, or if he went in for a dab and I took it for a hug…. Let me try and remember if I can…. I can’t…. I really can’t… it’s all a blur…. It was dark and I was even confused why he would hug me. Normally there is a pause when doing in for a dab, was there?? I don’t remember there being pause…. And he said “thanks Finn” thanks for what??? Idk…..

Idk!!! Then he starts texting me a lot more frequently… but like,,, weird shit,,,, first to get a job,,, but HE invited me,,,, weird,,,, then he says smth abt the weed,,,,, then he comments on my story to start a convo and we had one,,, very dry,,,, it was weird then he ends it with like a typo I couldn’t understand so I kind of just left him on read??? Like UGH!! I’m not good with my feelings. This is what I mean. Like,,, I tell him all the time be direct and honest. But I can’t with him. I’m still trying to figure it out, feel it out, fail and try again, fail and try again. Portal was… there was one part that was good when it came to Joe. But mostly bad parts. Then everything after was weird. Darian lake was nice… but everything since then has been even more weird. I’m going to keep trying, because I think he’s worth it.

I wanted to comment on his story and try and spark a convo again but I was to scared. That’s why I wish I had someone to talk to, to give me confidence. I kinda of tried to tell jas, but she already made her disapproval because he’s 19 and I’m 24… that is something to greatly take into consideration. There are a lot of things to take into consideration. And IF Joe also has similar interests in me like I do him,,,, which I just had a spaz attack over IF he did and IF he’s trying and I’m just to dumb to see,,, he’s been taking to Max and Cody about it, asking them for help. If he is, that’s very endearing because Chris had to do the same thing. So IF Joe feels the same I think that’s also why I can’t read him.

He may be taking this cautiously. I’m 24, 5 years older than him, I’m his best friends sister!!! I’m “not an NPC” like him. I don’t think he wants to fuck it up, whatever we have, he’s taking a great deal in care trying to not only grow it but not ruin it. Or at least that’s the impression I THINK I’m getting BUT THEN AGAIN I DONT KNOW BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ANYONE TO TALL TO ABOUT THIS.

Hence why I’m here. I can’t tell mom, because,,, age,,,, and Jessy’s friend. Can’t tell jessy at all because like,,,, well I have no idea how she would take it. I think if Joe has any feelings for me he also would be very cautious about telling Jessy. And also…. I don’t want to turn a blind eye to him being 19

I don’t want to be that person that’s like “Well he’s turning 20 soon so that’s okay” I don’t think it would be good for a 20 year old to date 25 year old,,,, even tho as 24 I would date someone possible 30 if they were the right person.

So I also fee I think if I met the right person, age wouldn’t matter at all. Well not at all. A child’s love is different than this. This is a mature spiritual love, a love for another human that I can share emotions with. But I don’t think it’s love. It’s absolutely not yet. It has a great potential and that’s why I’m so afraid to fuck it up. But my life feels so short so at the same time I want to say fuck it and rush into this. Which,,, clearly would only end badly. I want to make sure I actually know Joe, and I’m just not using him to get over Chris. I want to make sure I’m not crazy either, and that he’s a real person that I share interests with, that I can hang out with and talk to. I haven’t hung out with him yet on my own, and I’m so afraid to ask him, I don’t think he understands how mysterious and guarded I really am. I’m not comfortable yet where I can ask him those things, so I think if anything, and hope, that he’s picking up on that. That I’m special and I’m something to work for and I’m not easy.

So I know, I know……… I know I feel better after writing this. That first I should probably just figure out how to talk to him and hang out with him and be me. It’s gonna be slow and I need to be patient but GOD am I so close to blurting this shit out.

It’s killing me, not really but it’s hard. Again, I just want someone to talk to about this. Fuck you Chris. I could never talk to you about this as much as you want to make me think I could. You were a bad person and a bad boyfriend. And the only time you were ever right is I deserved so much better. You constantly manipulated me and my emotions and I hate to say it, but you where the worst one out of us. I hate saying it because it brings me pain, it brings me no honor to think I was better than you, it hurts me to know I put in so much more effort than you did. It hurts me and brings me shame to know I was pushing so hard for something so fruitless, it hurts me to even think that I was a better girlfriend than you where a boyfriend, because,,,, it never should have been who’s better or worse to begin with. It never should have been a competition. I remember always telling you I hate comparing, I hate love bombing and that’s what you did allllll the time. You told me how great I was while how shitty you where and that was manipulation whether intentional or not, whether you even knew you were doing it or not. That is a fact, that is what you did. I know you did not mean to do it, but it’s still what you did and it’s not up for debate or argument. Maybe it was unconscious, but the perhaps behind that behavior is to get me to mother you, to coddle you, to love bomb you in return. Which is toxic and unhealthy. It’s just one of many things you did that come to mind.

I also think I’m weirdly a system, or someone with DID. I need to write more and I’ve been trying to write more but I don’t think that’s going to work for me. I think I should text more here and see what happens and video tape me. I think it’s okay if writing doesn’t work for me. I’ve always hating my hand writing and I’ve always hated the strain it puts on my hands. So I’ll try and be here more.

I should go to bed now. Good night.

I’m actually not on board with Tom playing Feyd in Dune 2 opposite Timothée’s Paul. It would be...a total media and fandom chaos. One of them can’t even be praised or shat on now (on twitter, at least) without the other being brought into the equation. They’re constantly being pitted against each other by their hardcore fans and some TimDaya shippers (who are really, really weird because why tf do you insist shipping someone who’s already in a relationship with another person, like?—but that’s another story). Anyway, I digress. My point is there are so many people who want to create non-existent beef between Tom and Timmy like they’re not actually friends in real life. Lmao.

There’s also the issue of him being not taken seriously (and hated on, actually) by some critics and filmbros because his name is always attached to big studio blockbusters. I fear Tom joining such a big franchise like Dune would just feed their hatred of him even more, like they’d probably accuse him of riding on the coattails of Dune: Part 1’s success or something.

Lastly, now that his and Z’s relationship is out in the open, I feel like they won’t be working together like this anymore (aside from going back as PeterMJ for Spider-man in the future) to avoid getting more unnecessary scrutiny on their highly-publicized romance. Remember that even if they’re out, they still want to be as private as possible. Also, both of them are actors and creatives who are very serious with their craft, and I don’t imagine they’d want to keep the relationship eclipse everything they do as individuals. (Hence, why Tom’s team specifically requested the press in Spain to not ask anything about Z).

So...yeah. People can still dream of this happening. I’m personally just not thrilled at the idea very much because I’m scared what it might do for Tom and Z. But if it does happen...well, then we’ll be seeing film and stan twitter collectively lose their shit.

Didn't Timmy say Tom recommended him for the role in Dune? I can't remember the specific interview but it was one with just Timmy and Z during Dune press. So there's no animosity between these two.

Shading/hating Tom is nothing new on social media. Especially Twitter. It's a cesspool of comparing Tom to Tobey, Andrew, Timmy, Hunter, Nathan Fillion, and the like. It's always someone.

Personally, I'd rather see Tom in something I enjoy watching. No offense, Timmy. That's just me. I watched Don't Look Up with the fam on Christmas, and when it ended, we all said what a waste of our time. It's a parody of the Trump administration, and the ending is even more far fetched than any Marvel movie I've ever seen. Admittedly, I'm not an expert on film, and tbh, I don't want to be. I'd rather watch NWH a million times than watch Don't Look Up one more time. And no, I'm not a fan of Trump. It was just a really bad movie, imo. If you don't know, Timmy was in that movie. I've seen him in one other movie -- Lady Bird -- and neither movie was my cup of tea.

If you haven't already guessed, I haven’t yet watched Dune. I plan on watching Dune 2, but I need this time to get over Denis and Timmy's pretentious comments about superhero/Marvel movies.

Should Tom join the Dune cast -- I, personally, don't think he will -- they would be blessed, imo. He loves Dave Bautista and they would make a great, albeit David and Goliath-like, team. Tom could probably even teach Dune’s stunt team a thing or two about stunts.

And I wake up to find there's more stupid drama on twitter because Shoma *checks notes* was rooting for Nathan at the Olys. Why...

Oh yeah...and some stupid Fanyus have found my Twitter account 🙈 why can't I keep my mouth shut? 😅

Actually as far as translations differ all Shoma said was that he was more happy for Nathan's win than his own skate.

Anyway no matter if he said he wanted Nathan to win or he was just happy for him, there is definitely nothing wrong with his opinion and feelings. These are his feelings and opinions. He isn't obliged to have another opinion. Shoma has spoken often enough about his own desire to win but needing time to adjust to Nathan's level, he also said many times how Yuzu was a rolemodel to him and how he took the pressure etc. Opinions are never exclusive.

And there was no talk of Yuzu at all. So no reason to make it about Yuzu. The bad takes differed from being "shocked" how he could care more for Nathan than himself to downright calling him a "traitor" for not wanting Yuzu a fellow Team Japan member or Yuma to win and everything you can imagine in between.

I don't get why anything Shoma says is automatically also about Yuzu in some way? Like how? Nor do I get the double standard that it's not talked about that Yuzu also did only congratulate Nathan on his Gold in press con and didn't mention Shoma, Yuma or Team Japan? I don't hold it against Yuzu and I surely don't hold Shoma being happy for Nathan against him. I think it shows great sportmanship to not only care for your own placements but also to wish well upon the others. And imo every decent human being wishes for a fair competition and for every competitor to do well. The scores and placements decide other ppl.

In all honesty Nathan was the man to beat at the Olympics and the only reason he wouldn't have won or at least medaled, would have been for him to falter like he did in Pyeongchang. And I bet many ppl including me were happy Nathan could deliver under the pressure and didn't have a repeat of Pyeongchang. Even back in Pyeongchang Shoma said he was happy for Nathan he could come back after the SP with an amazing FS. So ppl should not be surprised that Shoma remembers that as well as we do. (It's not at all about if you agree with Nathan's or Yuzu's or anyone's scoring, it's just about human reactions. Look I didn't root for Nathan but he won and I think he deserved the title with the performances he put out on the two days.)

Yuzu always respects all his rivals, I hate that some of his fans can't do the same. 😢

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And lastly using slurs and insults or body shame a skater is not ok in any way ever. I give you two acc examples:

(and for being that sh*tty ppl I don't cross out their usernames)