WHERE ARE YOU NOW? - WANDA MAXIMOFF X F!READER
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3
Request: Hello how are you? I'd like to ask for something like Y/n and Wanda in a zombie apocalypse. I'm not very good at summarizing but I hope you can write, thanks!
Warning: A bit of violence. Zombie style. A bit of fluff maybe.
ㅤㅤㅤCHAPTER 2
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How many years? How long had it been since they saw each other?
Wanda tried to remember the last time she heard Y/N's voice, the last time she could get lost in those deep eyes. The last time Ymade her cry with laughter with her funny, weird and cute humor. Sometimes a little dark, that she could only share with Yelena.
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Every step she took gave her the opportunity to hug Y/N again, could feel her close, her scent and her warmth. Was it her? Was that really possible?
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“Y/N…” Wanda gasped, not knowing whether to smile or start crying inconsolably. Heart was beating wild, so hard, she could feel everything running through her veins.
Y/N was there, a few steps away from her. Not even the years away from each other had driven them as far apart as the seconds that now kept them apart. It felt like a painful eternity.
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Y/N, as beautiful as ever. So different from what she remembered. Her hair was a bit shorter, almost like a wild bob now.
Wanda supposed it was easier, especially when you're in a post-apocalyptic world where you can hardly find a bottle of silky cream to show off your hair.
Her face, a bit dirty from the dust of course, but always so adorable.
But her gaze focused on scars she had never seen before. Those beautiful eyes, Wanda remained looking at her like the first day, although she could see the melancholy and pain in Y/N's eyes, Wanda couldn't even imagine everything that Y/N had gone through all those years.
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That was when the memories came to her.
YEARS AGO...
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“So… What did he say?” Natasha Romanoff asked, keeping her gaze on the road. Her hands clenched against the steering wheel as she drove through the streets of New York. She was thankful that they were almost leaving the city.
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“Vis said he understood, that he always knew I... I could never leave the past behind.” The sokovian redhead stared out the window, trying not to think about what she did. He was a nice man, but it wasn't for her.
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“Look, Wands, best thing is that you both finally finished what you had. Lying to someone is easy, but lying to yourself...” Natasha watched in the rearview mirror as some cars seemed to try to move forward and honk, but she couldn't even move, ahead seemed to have a huge line of cars. “I mean, you didn't love Vision. Right? It's the best thing for him to move forward. And for you too.”
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“I guess.” Wanda gasped.
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“Wanda…” Natasha started knowing very well what she was going to say. Nat knew that her best friend, her sister, started a relationship with Vision long after she broke up with Y/N.
Y/N, who was the love of her life.
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Every person who knew Wanda and Y/N, saw them together, knew that someday these two would end up married, with a cute family, living the most beautiful love story of all. But sadly it hadn't ended that way, that story ended with Wanda leaving a relationship that did nothing but harm her in the end.
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“Not now, okay? I don't want to talk about that again.” Wanda shook her head.
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“It's been a while and you haven't stopped thinking about her. Why don't you call Y/N and stop this stupid thing...?”
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“That has been left behind.”
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“Not so far behind if that's why your last relationship sank in the ocean because you can't get over your EX.” The Russian stopped when the traffic light in front of her turned red, she was finally able to tilt her head to see Wanda. “She couldn't either, Wanda. Yelena says that Y/N can't stop thinking about you and that she regrets…”
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“Natasha.” Wanda's voice sounded a little sharper. Nat could see out of the corner of her eye how Wanda swallowed before speaking. “Y/N and I broke up a long time ago and it was for the best, I must remind you that I was very hurt by that relationship... and although I loved her, I don't deny it, I loved her so much... the best thing is that we stay apart.”
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She licked her lips, and the song on the radio didn’t help at all.
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“I know you want to do what's best for me. And if you want that, please, I don't want to talk about it again, okay?"
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Natasha was going to say something else, but she decided to keep quiet, for the first time, just to accept her friend's request. After all, they were both going out of town to visit Yelena and Kate in Boston, to get some relief from that chaotic city.
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“You know what? You're right, this trip is to forget and clear everything in our minds… Also work is killing us, so…” Nat said as she moved forward in that line of cars. Everything was good, everything was fine until she suddenly hit the brakes.
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In front of them, that awful and horrible image haunted their minds when a cargo truck collided and dragged the car in front of them, so strongly, that it dragged it down for almost two more blocks.
The driver, who seemed completely out of control, was locked inside the cabin moving in a very strange way. He was screaming and banging on the window so hard.
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“What the-?!” Natasha yelled, seeing so many of the cars on that street been hit by the truck, now laying upside down and burning. People screamed for help, people running for their lives.
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Completely surprised, Wanda placed a hand on her chest, unable to believe what she was seeing.
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“Oh god, Natasha, this doesn't look good.”
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“I know.” The russian redhead unbuckled her seatbelt, seeing that Wanda was doing the same, ready to go with her.
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“They need help, try to call 911.” The Sokovian said, Natasha nod her head as they got out of the car. Both walked towards the scene but stop when they noticed that the people around that truck started to run away from the scene, freaked out.
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“Hey! What the hell is going on here?” Natasha looked confused and a little scared, but she would never say it. Neither of them had any idea what was going on around them, but the answer came quickly when they finally saw how the driver of the truck took one of the boys -who was trying to help him get out- biting him with an enormous and sadistic violence.
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The boy's cry of pain made their blood run cold.
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Natasha was the first to get out of shock, pulling Wanda back to the car quickly. “Wanda, we have to go, let's go now!”
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“No, they need our help!”
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“Wanda, look around! We must go!” And Natasha was right, now, the boy who had been bitten by that trucker started writhing on the ground, getting back up but in a very creepy way.
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The Sokovian didn’t put up resistance to that, they both ran back to the car, although the chaos worsened. The sirens sounded insistently, multiplied in a matter of minutes.
Some cars derailed and ran over anyone who got in the way.
Natasha sped up so hard that she possibly left a huge mark on the sidewalk.
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“This is crazy, could be an earthquake or something?” Wanda asked, completely shocked. She tried to turn on the radio to find what the hell was going on but only heard empty channels.
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“I don't know, I'm trying to call Yelena but she doesn't answer!”
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“Pietro isn't answering my call either. He was going to watch game with Monica in the baseball stadium!”
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Natasha didn't say anything, just kept her hands on the wheel and drove out of the city, taking one of the fast exits not knowing that minutes later, those streets would be completely bottled up.
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“I don’t know, just…” Natasha's voice was deep and she could barely hear herself. Even she couldn't understand, she was just glad to get out of town and onto one of the empty highways towards Clifton.
She knew no one would take that old road.
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“I'm- I’m gonna pull over for a moment, okay? I need… I just-” The Russian swallowed hard, trying to stay calm. She parked the car on the side of the road and got out, inhaling deeply.
The cool breeze from the fields hit their faces, moving the strands of hair slowly. The fresh air and the cozy but eerie sunset helped keep them calm.
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Everything seemed so unreal, the sounds of the disaster in the city could be heard in the distance. Screams and explosions, cars colliding and the smoke spreading in the sky, as if the black smoke ruined a beautiful oil painting.
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“You've seen the same thing I saw, right?” Natasha finally said, swallowing hard. She was still in complete shock, resting her hands on the hood of her car.
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Wanda was looking at the sunset, still unable to believe everything she saw. If it wasn't for Natasha, she would think she was going crazy. Natasha took out her phone, searching for signal.
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“They were biting people, Natasha.” Wanda whispered. Her eyes widened even more, remembering how she saw someone running after others, jumping on them and starting to bite them. Completely enraged and desperate, a terrifying image that would haunt her forever. “We need to call 911!”
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“Wanda, those things were eating the people that YOU CALL 911!” Natasha exclaimed, running her hand over her face. “We need to think...”
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“Fine, fine. Wait, I need a moment. Just… Pietro is still not answering! Neither does Monica!” she said in defeat.
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Natasha agreed. “Do you have signal on your phone?”
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Wanda came over to give it to her, but suddenly, the phone lost signal. The battery, luckily, was still at 90 percent.
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“No, it says it's out of service now.” The Sokovian swallowed hard and closed her eyes, thinking what to do at a time like this.
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“You wake up and you’re in this big place, a big city. What’s the first thing you would do? Think about it, your life depends on it.”
“Maybe try to get away from the city?”
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The redhead opened her eyes, Y/N's voice came to her mind like fresh balm, medicine she needed so bad. As if she were the one who took her hand, rescuing her from sinking dangerously to the bottom of the ocean.
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“We need to get out of town, get as far away as possible, and get to Boston... but first we need to find Pietro and Yelena.” Wanda said seeing Natasha nod, looking now at her phone which began to ring.
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The Russian exhaled, hearing her sister's raspy voice on the other side.
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“Yelena!” Natasha said desperately, Wanda approached so she could listen. “Yelena, where are you?”
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« Sestra…. We… everybody is… crazy… Hiding!»
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Yelena's voice cracked, which made them both feel even more desperate.
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“Yelena, I can’t hear you. I CAN’T hear you! Yelena! Where are you?”
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«Signal… do you… hear me? Natasha! Be careful! New York is… not safe!» That last part seemed to be the only thing that could be heard clearly. « I love you, Sestra!»
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“I LOVE YOU TOO! PLEASE TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE!” The Russian gasped hearing a loud beep and after that, the signal was completely lost as well as the call.
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“Yelena!”
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“What's going on? What did she say?” Wanda asked completely worried and terrified.
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“The call ended. Yelena doesn’t answer, there’s no signal again.” Natasha watched her best friend for a moment, not even knowing what to do. Just a few seconds to allow herself to think and then, the Russian took Wanda's hand and returned to the car so that together they could get out of that place. “We have to go to Boston, right now.”
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NOW
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But they never made it to Boston.
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The loud sound of the fall made everyone jump.
Y/N, being the one who was closest to Jules, approached as fast as she could.
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“Jules. Jules!” She tried but the black-haired girl just stayed the same. Completely pale, cold hands.
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Y/N brought her hand up to her forehead, temperature made her hiss as Yelena and Kate came over to help. “She has fever, we need to bring it down as soon as possible.”
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“You can take her to my room, over there.” Natasha interrupted the moment, inviting them to follow.
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“What do we need?” Yelena murmured as she helped, taking Jules up off the ground.
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“What's wrong with her?” Natasha asked, watching as Yelena and Y/N carried the girl.
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“She has a fever, we need painkillers and something to lower the infection.” Y/N whispered, trying to keep the others from hearing her.
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“Over here, while we'll find a way to help her.” Wanda took one of the flashlights and invited them to continue down one of the corridors of that huge library until they reached Natasha's room, in one of the corridors in the east wing.
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Y/N tried not to think that in front of her was Wanda. Wanda Maximoff… as beautiful as ever. She was wearing slightly worn jeans but fit her hips perfectly.
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They left Jules on the bed, noticing how she squirmed uncomfortably, began to sweat and little by little, began to open her sore eyes.
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“Y/N?” The girl said barely in a whisper, feeling a stab of pain due to the dryness of her lips. “Where we are?”
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Y/N sat down next and grabbed one of the water bottles she carried in her backpack, helping Jules drink some.
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“We found a place to stay tonight, rest for now, chicken.” Y/N took her friend's hand and squeezed it gently before getting out of bed, leaving her in the care of one of Natasha's 'friends'. A very beautiful woman named Monica.
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Natasha, who watched everything, walked over to talk to Y/N once she left the room. “Is she okay? How can we help you?”
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Y/N was about to speak when one of the men around them spoke up. Brown eyes and a face you couldn't forget.
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“Is she bitten?” Asked that man, in a somewhat rude and direct way. Zemo. That's what Natasha called him. “If she is bitten she has no place here, we have to get her out as soon as possible."
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“We can put her down for you.” Added Rumlow. Oh, the was even worst.
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“What are you talking about?” Yelena began, shocked as was Kate. The archer landed in front of Yelena to prevent the blonde from killing the man.
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“Shut up, Rumlow. You have nothing good to say then shut up.” Natasha glared at him. They all started arguing, everyone's voices echoing in Y/N's ears.
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Those words.
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Those damn words.
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“What did you say?” Y/N stared at him, cold as if she were a predator ready to capture her prey. She wasn't going to forget what he said, ever.
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“I said... if she's bitten...” Rumlow was about to continue when suddenly, to everyone's surprise, Y/N pushed him into the nearest wall, locking his neck with her arm.
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“She's not bitten, dipshit.” Y/N hissed, tightening her hold as Rumlow tried to get rid of her, but it was impossible. The brunette gritted her teeth in a threatening manner. “And if I see you look at my friend that way again, or if you ever say something to her again, I'm going to kill you.”
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“Get your dirty hands off-”
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“Look at me.” Y/N grunted. “I’m gonna kill you, it's not my first time nor the last.”
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Everyone seemed surprised by that sudden and cold attitude, but no one more than Wanda, who was open-mouthed seeing how the person she loved the most, whom she had searched for so long, acted in a way that she never expected.
She had never seen Y/N act so…aggressive, yet protective.
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The Sokovian wasn't going to accept that she felt a sting of jealousy.
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Some people aimed at the girls, trying to 'back up' Rumlow. Yelena took aim with her shotgun as Kate also took her bow, ready to fire.
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“Woah, let's stop for a moment.” Natasha intervened, placing herself between the two factions. The Russian placed one of her hands on Y/N's shoulder, trying to calm the situation and finally let Rumlow go.
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Y/N was quiet for a few seconds until her muscles began to loosen, releasing that man who quickly adjusted his coat, somewhat offended.
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“They may be your friends, Natasha, but they still have answers to give.” Zemo said in a very low voice and glared at Natasha.
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The slam of the front door of the library stole everyone's attention. The quick steps of two men, one of them was blond and blue-eyed, with a big physical complexion and quite strong.
While the other was had black hair and blue sky eyes, this one carried a light machine gun strong enough to take down a group of biters.
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“What's going on here?” Said Steve, the blond man. Apparently one of the group leaders, along with Natasha. “Put down your weapons, remember the rules. No shots fired inside this place.”
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Steve scolded one of the men, taking his gun away when he got a better look at the faces of the women they were aiming at.
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“Yelena?” Steve walked over and then hugged her tightly, surprised and glad to see the girl.
Steve was Natasha's best friend since they were teenagers, as Bucky was one of Y/N's friends too.
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“Y/N?” Bucky was the one who smiled widely this time and walked quickly towards the brunette, hugging her with a strength that she swore could break her spine in two.
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“Buck! I missed you so much!” Y/N exclaimed, surprised and excited to see her friend again. She clung to the man for a few seconds before pulling away to get a better look.
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He had some stubble and hair that was wild, kinda sexy and adorable enough.
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“Put your guns down. They’re our friends, we have been looking for them for a long time.”
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“Rogers, they still don't explain...”
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“She's not bitten, I swear. She only has an infection in her jaw, she hit herself really bad and broke a tooth a year ago.” Y/N explained somewhat worriedly, remembering Jules's state. “I'm a doctor, but I haven't been able to take it off because we haven't found medicine since we left Boston. Just some ibuprofen to ease her pain for the first few days, but nothing to fight the infection.”
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“I swear, she's not infected by biters.” Yelena added. “That tooth is making her suffer but the infection is killing her. Sestra, please…”
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“Don’t worry, I understand.” Steve nodded his head, being as understanding as they remembered. “We don't have much but everything we have is at your disposal to help your friend. We have some medicine, although no one who can help us beyond First Aid.”
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“I can do it.” Y/N volunteered without hesitation, receiving a smile from her old friends. Oh, how much she missed them.
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“This should be voted on. We can't waste our medicine on strangers, we should count them and-” One of Rumlow's men began.
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“We are not going to let that girl suffer knowing that we can help.” Steve was determined, none of the others dared to contradict him. “Nat, take the girls to get cleaned up and then we'll discuss all of this together over dinner. Wanda, please give Y/N everything she needs to help that girl."
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They all nodded and started on their way to their respective places, finally leaving the girls alone. Those girls who had longed for and missed each other so much all these years, two girls who were now only a few steps apart.
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Silence surrounded them for seconds that seemed eternal. They both looked at each other, a bit hesitant until Wanda didn't wait a second longer and she ran to hug Y/N so hard, that the brunette thought she would fall.
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But she didn't.
Y/N just held on to this lovely woman who haunted her thoughts and heart for so long. Closed her eyes, completely losing herself in Wanda’s scent, hiding her face in that soft neck. She couldn't find in her mind any memory of the last time she did that.
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Wanda buried her face in Y/N's chest, wishing never to be separated from that woman again. Especially when listening to how the brunette's heart was beating so fast.
Praying so hard that when she opened her eyes again, wishing to wake up from that long and terrifying nightmare and watch Y/N lying next to her again. The warmest smile before breakfast.
Y/N kept her eyes closed, holding on to that feeling. Tears begin to fall down her face and not only hers, but also Wanda’s.
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“I've thought about you so much.” Wanda whispered like prayer, pulling away so she could see her now. That lovely, adorable slightly flushed face, tears she didn't bother to dry.
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“I have missed you so much.” Y/N finally confessed, feeling her voice crack. She took Wanda's face in her hands, looking at those big, teary eyes. Oh, she looked more beautiful than ever.
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Green eyes that remained as beautiful as ever. Although its green could make you lose yourself in the most beautiful paradise, without a doubt, they carried a suffocating melancholy. Her lips, her nose, those little birthmarks on her cheek.
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The doctor allowed herself to finally smile, to smile in a sincere way this time. Their hearts beating again, together.
After so long, after so many letters, so many cities… Wanda was there.
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“Wow...” Wanda whispered staring at her, smiling like a teenager. “I never thought I could see you again.”
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“I thought the same thing. You look so...” Y/N swallowed hard, unable to snap out of the daydream as the presence of someone else interrupted this waiting moment. Again.
Kate came over with some boxes, some medicines that could help Jules. And some clothes.
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“Natasha said to come get you this, although no one wanted to and I kindly offered, thinking it would do something good, until now that I realize that no one wanted to interrupt this meeting… and neither did I… I'm sorry. ” Babbled the girl smiling so nervous, in an adorable dork way but definitely sorry to break the moment.
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“It’s okay... We should help your friend.” Wanda mumbled blushing, starting to walk towards the room.
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“Yeah, exactly, that was what I was thinking.” Y/N stammered, nodding, watching Wanda walk away from her until a nudge from Kate brought her back to reality.
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The archer looked at her mischievously, moving her eyebrows in a playful way which made Y/N just shake her head and whisper: ‘scram!’ making Kate go, leaving them completely alone.
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Well, not completely alone.
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The tallest one took a deep breath before walking into the room, closing the door behind her.
A baby spoiler: the next one will be longer, and there will be more of Wanda/Reader and Natasha/you know who.
As you know, Jules is portrayed by the amazing Adelaide Kane. link
the cutest and lovely people tags ✨ : @wandsmxmff, @bluesimps-world, @oh-thats-cute, @sleepilysworld, @dudaaaluthor, @dajirana, @wackymcstupid, @dandelions4us, @spookymomfriendtm, @danicarpediem, @nikkinss, @panthastichumanbeing, @me-uglypretty 🐝✨
Thank you for reading me, bees.
If you want to be tagged, just ask!
Thanks you so damn much to the people who leave a ❤️ , 🔁 and leave comments -even as an anon on my box of requests-, you make me keep writing. And you're making my life easier! 🐻ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ
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Touch || Lee Jeno - V.
AU | soulmate au
pairing | OC x high-school!Jeno
genre | slow burn, strangers to friends, friends to lovers, soulmates; fluff & angst
word count | 17,9k
trigger warning | 16+ strong language, sexual innuendos, blood, death, kidnapping, assault, violence
description | In a world where everyone has a soulmate, but not everyone is destined to meet their other half, Ru didn't think she could be an exception. After all, what kind of story starts with an ordinary, teenage orphan like her? However, all that changed when her eyes met his: big, dark and mysterious.
Masterlist!
PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV | PART V | PART VI | PART VII | PART VIII
chapter twenty one.
Tick, tock... Tick, tock.
Jeno's eyes glazed lazily at Mr. Yang's moving lips.
"...contains 10 pink balloons, 9 yellow balloons, 12 green balloons and 9 white balloons. 7 balloons are selected at random without replacement. Find the probability that exactly 3 of them are green..."
The words floated past his ears like a thin veil of fog. Whoever decided math class should be done in the first period must be the absolute worst; even the teacher looked like he was going to pass out anytime soon. But then again, he reckoned Mr. Yang always looked like that.
He nuzzled further into the fabric of his navy blue sweater, hyper-fixating on a stray piece of hair on Jaemin's head in front of him. Beside him, Donghyuck looked just as bored. He leaned against his table, using his pencil to poke incessantly at Renjun's back.
Donghyuck barely got in a few pokes before Renjun whipped his head around, giving the giggling boy behind him a threatening glare— "do you want to die?"
"Hm..." Donghyuck contemplated as he bobbed his head from left to right. His eyes narrowed at Renjun, nose scrunched in mockery— "you can't even reach me with your small, baby hands, so I'll take my chances!"
Renjun grunted, pulling out a long wooden stick from under his table and whacking Donghyuck in the head.
"OW!—" Donghyuck whined, cradling his head as he looked to Jeno in disbelief.
Jeno rolled his eyes, a smirk forming on his face. "You had it coming."
Donghyuck tsked, dropping his head down against the table in defeat. It wasn't even a minute before Donghyuck started poking Renjun again, but this time with a ruler so that he had more distance between the temperamental boy in front of him.
Normally, Jeno would be with the boys causing their own ruckus in the back of the class until the teacher called on them, but the dull pressure on the back of his head rendered him indifferent to their normal shenanigans.
It had been like this all morning— actually, it's been like this for the past few days, maybe the entire week. He did his best to hide it, because he wasn't really in the mood for a lecture or a pampering from any of the boys (Jaemin, in particular).
He massaged the nape of his neck, feeling the weight push him down. Mr. Yang's monotone voice, ironically, was the only thing keeping him grounded; he focused on each individual word, however fleeting they may be.
He thought his massages were actually doing the trick, as he started to feel the dull pressure alleviate. However, the tension came back again just as quickly as it went, stronger this time. He moaned, dropping his head into his folded arms. He pondered on taking more painkillers, but then remembered how he had used them all up this past week; the remaining few he had was sitting on a cabinet in his bedroom.
He cursed under his breath— where are the painkillers when you need them?
"Hey, you okay?"
Jeno glanced up to find Jaemin staring at him. His eyes scanned the room; Mr. Yang was now sitting on the teacher's desk, fiddling with his phone, and everyone was busy doing something on their textbooks.
He nodded weakly.
Jaemin narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but Jeno kept his stable gaze; his best friend finally shrugged, turning back to attend to his work. Jeno slumped his shoulders, eyes fallen on the opened textbook in front of him.
You're fine, he thought to himself.
He huffed a heavy sigh; the papers rustled under his aggressive flipping. Go through today and he could go straight home—
A sudden burst of affliction exploded on the back of his head, interrupting all trains of thought. He squirmed in pain, sucking in a sharp breath with his eyes shut as he tried to withstand the throbbing in his skull.
"Yo, are you sure you're okay?"
The rest of the boys were now staring at him, hints of mild concern painted across their faces. Just like that, the initial pain subsided, replaced with a constant pang that lingered where the pain had hit him.
"Fuck," he cursed under his breath, "something's wrong."
"Hyuck, check his bag for his painkillers."
He could hear the slightly-panicked boy shift beside him.
"I didn't..."
Jeno couldn't even finish his sentences properly when the door to their classroom slid open; another teacher walked in curtly, sparing no expenses on his disruptive steps and furtive looks.
"Mr. Yang," the teacher whispered loudly. The math teacher stood up from his seat, greeting his troubled colleague.
"May I help you?"
"Yes, actually... one of the students from your homeroom— she fell down the stairs."
The antsy teacher did a terrible job at being discreet, as the classroom erupted in curious chatter, all of them distracted from their assigned work— the boys, included.
"Jesus," Mr. Yang gasped, hand hovering over his mouth in shock. "Who?"
Jeno's eyebrows were furrowed, an inkling sparking jolts in his unsteady heartbeat; for a moment, he forgot about the pang on the back of his head.
The teacher opened his mouth to answer but—
"Ru."
The room fell silent. All eyes were on Jeno.
The teacher looked at the stunned boy with confusion and shock.
"Yes, uh... Mr. Lee—" the teacher stammered, his eyes squinted at the boy across the room— "her name is Song Ru."
Holy shit.
The epiphany had spontaneously blinded him from the lingering stares; he burst from his seat, racing out of the classroom past a confused Mr. Yang, ignoring his calls.
He sprinted down the empty halls, the thump of his shoes against the dulled ceramic tiles sending streaks of lightning heat down his back. His breathing was ragged, but not once did he stop to catch his breath.
Fuck.
All this time, he had ignored the signs, discarded the clues even though they were screaming at him. He was the biggest idiot of all time—
He should've known they weren't headaches! How did it never occur to him that the pain only started the night before the co-ed orientation? That night he bumped into her.
Suddenly, he could hear her voice from all those weeks ago: "maybe us meeting wasn't really a coincidence. Maybe the reason my soulmate's missing has something to do with why you don't have one."
She's right.
A teacher had slid out of the classroom, appearing so suddenly he almost knocked over the poor lady. He swerved past her, sprinting away from her reprimanding voice. He couldn't process her words, his thoughts working like noisy gears in his head.
Ru never felt his headaches because they were never his pain to begin with— they were hers.
Down the stairs he bounded, skipping steps in rushed exhilaration, the sensation almost nauseating. He missed a step and almost tripped, but it didn't matter.
The night she found out about her foster mom's tumor, the same night he had that brutal headache. That day, what felt like a lifetime ago, when the boys had detention and he sent her home from school— how did it not click when she explained to him a week later that she was in a bad mood that day because of her failed maths test? How was he not reminded of his own headache that same day?
And now this—
He skidded into a halt, palms pushing hard against the wall. He sucked in deep breaths, the fire in his lungs spreading throughout his body in a moment of insurmountable anticipation.
This is it.
The inevitable fail... maybe it isn't so inevitable anymore.
His shaky hands reached for the door handle. Slowly, he pulled the cold medal, letting it slide. He was careful not to make any sounds, but it felt like the erratic thrashing of his heart might've given it all away.
The pressure on the back of his head lifted gradually; with each step, the pounding seemed to leave him in echoes of his footsteps.
Then he saw her...
And it felt like he was floating.
In the warm and stuffy clinic, a fresh rush of air invaded his lungs, almost like he had just breathed for the first time.
He watched as she sat against the headboard of the clinic bed. Her long, black hair framed her face perfectly; he wondered what it would be like to hold her puffy cheeks, just hold them in his hands. He had never noticed that bump on her nose, and now he wanted her more for it.
Her eyes twinkled even under the abysmal fluorescent lights. His eyes trailed down to her soft, red lips, the way they were parted ever so slightly, and he wondered what it would be like to just kiss them.
Ru was fiddling with the hem of her blouse, completely unaware of the boy who was just a few steps away from her, trying to fathom how someone could look so beautiful.
"Hey."
She looked up, a stunned look on her face as the boy approached her slowly.
"Jeno..." She straightened up, confusion setting in as he kneeled by her bedside.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, of course I'm fine—" tingles shot up on her leg as his hand grazed her thigh; he inspected her hands, scanning down her legs. A sigh escaped his lips when he spotted scrapes on her elbow.
Suddenly self-conscious of her body, she clarified, "it's just a minor injury."
"You call falling down the stairs a minor injury?"
He looked up and their eyes met. How did he know?
His silence prompted her to mumble, "they're sending me to the hospital, just to make sure nothing's broken..."
"Okay," he stood up. "I'm coming with you."
Her eyes widened. "What? No—"
He walked away towards a mounted cabinet, ignoring her as he began to rummage through the nurse's items.
His lack of words baffled her. "Jeno, what are you doing here?"
"Taking care of you."
She hated how her heart skipped a beat.
He turned around, walking back to her with band aids and antiseptics. He knelt down once again, lifting her arm to expose the scrape. She swallowed and watched as his veined hands gently dabbed the antiseptic on the wound.
She sucked in a sharp breath, looking down at the inflamed scrape on her arm.
"Sorry," he muttered, slowing down. "Does it hurt too much?"
She caught his soft eyes, and her shoulders loosened. She shook her head a subtle 'no', and he continued.
"Jeno—" she couldn't help but sigh— "why are you here?"
He didn't bat an eye. "Didn't I tell you—"
"No, why are you—" she realized she was repeating the exact same thing— "here."
He ripped open a band-aid, taping it over the wound.
"Because you give me a headache."
Her mouth hung open. "Excuse me?"
His hand slid down so that they were on her knee and he looked up at the almost-offended girl. "I've been getting headaches ever since I met you."
Ru scoffed, "well, I'm sure that there are plenty of painkillers in that cabinet—"
"—But for some reason," he cut her off, "they only go away when I'm close to you."
The room was silent. Ru blinked back the confusion, perplexed by his insinuation. But it was strange; the sincerity in his voice had caught her off guard, rendering her speechless.
What was he trying to say?
"You get a bad score, I get a headache. You get sad news, I get a headache. You fall down the stairs, I get a headache. But when you're with me, I'm... okay."
She couldn't ignore the rich pumping of her heart. If she didn't know any better, she'd assume he could hear it clearly.
But that's not possible, right? He doesn't have a...
Her thoughts trailed away into a whirlwind of scenarios, the strain noticeable on the creases of her forehead— he never told her about his headaches.
Does this mean...?
She shook out of her stupor; a burst of energy flowed in her as she took a deep breath.
"Sit." She commanded, patting the bed space next to her.
He raised his eyebrow. "What?"
"Lee Jeno, sit."
The sudden austerity in her voice caught him by surprise; he sat down compliantly.
She scooted closer and, without another word, started combing through his hair.
Jeno tried to shift away, confused. "What are you—"
"—stop fidgeting," she reprimanded, her thin fingers sifting through tufts of hair. As much as her brain was set on finding it, she couldn't help but stop to feel his fluffy hair between her fingers. She never knew she wanted to do this until now.
He could barely see her from the side of his eyes, how much she was focused on examining his scalp. A particularly rough tug on his hair caused him to jerk his head.
"Ow, Ru—"
She ignored him, hands steady along his scalp.
After a minute of involuntary tugging and frustrated sighs from both parties, Ru slouched her shoulders, lips pursed in scrutiny. "I need a better position," she mumbled to herself.
She shifted along the bed, slowly letting her feet touch the ground. She clenched her teeth and tried to ignore the throbbing on her hip as she tried to stand up. It didn't work, though— the shooting pain on her side forced her back down.
"Are you okay?" He shot up, facing her.
"I'm fine," she dismissed, outstretching her hand slightly, "just help me up, please."
He hoisted her up by the elbows, holding her weight with ease as she moved forward. With slow strides, she directed him in a semi-circle until the back of his legs hit the mattress.
"Alright," she held onto his forearms, pushing him back. "Now sit."
He entertained her command, taking a seat with his hands still balancing her. She slipped out of his grasp and took careful steps as she moved closer between his legs. His eyes softened; it was obvious she was trying to hide her grimace from the pain of standing up. His hands shifted to support her waist, his palms gently wrapped around her.
He sat peacefully under her direction, the motion of her fingers against his scalp soft and nurturing. He didn't mind that his sole view was of her chest. In fact, he found himself dozing off, a little smile gracing his lips.
He followed the flow of her movements willingly, letting her shift his head in her inspection. Gradually, her hands began to pull him towards her, and she leaned closer presumably to examine further back. She didn't seem to care— or notice— that she had pulled his face closer to her chest.
He observed, through obstructed vision, each rise and fall of her breast, so close to him that he felt the fabric of her uniform brush against his tall nose each time she inhaled.
He wondered what it would be like to kiss her there.
His grip on her tightened, and he stayed still, relishing in the comfort of their close proximity. He was close to shutting his eyes when he could feel her try to stifle a laugh.
"You're awfully quiet," Ru whispered, her soothing voice vibrating past his ears and down his spine.
"Mm," he responded feebly, "and you're awfully slow."
He never wanted her to stop, though.
She chuckled weakly at his response. Her fingers kept track of parts she had searched, and parts she hadn't. Combing through his hair, she realized how white his scalp was— especially when she parted a section of his hair to reveal a contrasting, pigmented shape.
She let out a little gasp, her fingers tracing over them like they were fragile.
Two ovals, one slightly bigger than the other.
She pressed the pads of her pointer and middle fingers over them in awe, her heart swelling twice its size.
There it is.
"What?" he asked; he must've noticed her abdomen tense.
She let her hands fall from his hair and down to his shoulders. She pulled away, looking down into the big, brown eyes she had dreamed about for so long. They stared back at her, committed to her and her only.
She couldn't help the grin on her face as she whispered in a low hum.
"Congratulations, Lee Jeno. You have a soul mark, just like the rest of us."
His lips tugged upwards, eyes glistening as he milked in her features. His heart was no longer beating out of his chest; they were slow, calm like the steady sea.
In a swift motion, he pulled her in. She hooked onto his shoulders, both their chests now on each other, breathing in sync. His hot breath fanned her face. She let his hands trail down to the small of her back, a smirk forming on his face.
"Congratulations, Song Ru—"
The girl's eyes crinkled, a smile forming on her face.
"You just found your soulmate."
________________________________________
chapter twenty two.
That final Saturday, I sat on the stiff chair by his bed. Sweat had pooled on my back from leaning on the leather all day. Hospital chairs were never nice. By then, my diet had consisted of Chinese from a local joint just down the street from the hospital and when I didn't have the energy, stale hospital food.
Most days, I waited. He'd be asleep most of the time, so I waited. Did everything I could to keep my mind off of it. Sometimes off of him.
I couldn't bear being as much as a room away from him— my body wouldn't let me. When I did, my side always felt like they were exploding. On days that I had to be away from Han, I wished that I didn't have a soul mark. I always feel like the worst soulmate in the world when I do.
But could you blame me? To watch your soulmate rot away in bed was one thing, but to be able to feel it too?
All I could think about that afternoon was how we re-united. I always came back to that. The cafe was empty that day, except for the exceptionally tall man in the grey wooly sweater and faded blue jeans.
To think that if he hadn't knocked over his steaming hot coffee on the floor, if I had just been in enough of a bad mood not to offer him some napkins from the counter, maybe we wouldn't be here. But I couldn't afford to think this way— he'd still be sick, all alone.
I had reached for my regular cold soup, ready to accept that my lunch was now my dinner, too, but he stopped me.
"I think you're 95% soup now, Mariella," I remembered him joking.
He had always been the life of the party, my Han. Never serious, always a smile on that charming face of his. Even in the last few months of his life, he was my rock.
He'd never asked for my stale soup before, but that day, he did. Of course, I rush it over to him— any wish of his, I try to fulfill. I let him take a sip, even though I knew he wouldn't like it. I was right.
He told me the soup tasted like salted water. I can't remember whether I had laughed. But I hope I laughed. I still wonder if he misses my laugh as much as I do his.
Then he looked up at me and told me that he would miss soup. Right then, all the dread, all the suppressed fear and premature grief I had held so strongly in my heart came pouring out in sobs.
"Why you?" was all I croaked, over and over like a broken-down cassette.
Maybe I shouldn't have broken down like that, but he was so kind about it.
He lifted my chin with such delicacy you'd think I was porcelain. And then he said something I will never forget.
"We were a game a chance. Rigged by the universe, cursed by the stars."
His thumbs were warm as he wiped the tears from my face. I've looked into Han's piercing blue eyes a hundred, a thousand times before, but never did they look as clear as they did then.
"But look at us, my love. We won. I feel your skin, and I catch your tears in my hands, because we won."
What a magnificent way to put it. He always had a way with his words. I laid in his arms all night and for that moment, I was alright.
Han died the next Monday.
No matter how many times I say it, it will never sit right with me. Life after was pretty much the same as before I met him. My soul mark became nothing but a blob of dark color Mom always said resembled a badly-shaped stone. But it wasn't a stone anymore; it was Han's little cherry, like he always said while he traced the side of my stomach, as we lay under the covers.
It hollowed me, at first. Empty, to the point you feel like you couldn't possibly be anything else. Desensitizing, like suddenly you are color-blind. All-consuming, so much so you could never turn back.
I know there's no living like I did with him. My grief will echo like lost love into the vast multitude of nothing— maybe it reaches him.
He took something of me, but as long as that part of me stays with him, I think I'm okay. I'll be okay.
Until we meet again, my love.
Soulmates are a tricky thing. One moment you're ignoring each other, trying to convince yourselves that you're not meant to be, and the next moment, you're all the other's ever wanted.
The day Ru found Jeno's soul mark, he brought her to the hospital, even though the teachers strictly prohibited it. Then he waited patiently outside her exam room until she finished all her check-ups.
With one hand holding her arm and the other supporting her waist, he guided her back to the taxi, telling her how grateful he was that she wasn't seriously injured. He chuckled, scolding her for being so clumsy in the first place and she laughed along.
She didn't want to cause more drama, so she conveniently left out the part where she had essentially been pushed down the stairs by her ex-friend.
But ultimately, she was okay with it.
She had never been more content in a while. Although, she managed to slap his arm in reprimand. When he asked her what that was for, she told him it was for never telling her that he had been experiencing headaches all this time— it would've saved them a lot of trouble, Jeno realized.
After that, she was truly content. He sent her home, and much to Jeno's dismay, Ru felt her injuries did not warrant skipping school the next day. So after checking her one last time, he promised to be back first thing next morning to send her to school.
And he did. That following week, he'd send her to school and back, sneaking up through her window at night (even on the weekends) under the excuse of tending to her injuries, even though Ru explicitly stated that her bruises were healing just fine.
On some occasions, the boys would visit too; at least they had the decency to use the front door.
They were ecstatic to receive news of the pair's soulmate discovery: Jaemin gave her a big hug, telling her that he always knew there was something special about her. Renjun admitted that he had been secretly rooting for the two of them, soulmate or not, and Donghyuck claimed that he knew all along (in which Jaemin shoved him off the bed).
The boys weren't the only ones elated by the news; upon telling Mrs. Choi, she squealed like a schoolgirl which sent Dabin running into her room expecting a tragedy. The overjoyed lady went on a speech about how she knew everything would work out fine and Ru would laugh about it in the future. Ru felt her heart beam with warmth.
Regardless of her unfortunate fall, Ru was healing quickly; she had a loving foster family, the boys and finally, her soulmate. Although, this didn't stop Jeno from insisting that she needed more rest. Last night, he made her promise not to put too much strain on her body and that he would know if she did.
So, Ru found herself sitting in bed that Thursday night, reading 'The Game of Chance: a Memoir', a book she had been given by the strange psychic when the two of them had visited that psychic store.
She had been reminded of the book when Jeno made a passing comment about how Esmeralda— however unhinged— was right about them. After that, she dug up the memoir that had been stuffed in between all the other knackers she had collected over the years from jumping through foster homes.
Originally, she had only skimmed through the pages just to get a gist of the story. Then she began reading the first few pages to 'kill time'. She never expected that she would go through the entire thing that same day, almost skipping dinner from being too engrossed in the ending; she certainly didn't think she would cry over Han's death.
She dropped the book on the bed beside her. If anyone else had been in the room with her, she'd be embarrassed. She dabbed her cheeks with her blanket like someone was going to catch her with her sniffly nose and puffy eyes.
There was no problem with crying over a book (even a sappy contemporary romance), of course, but Ru couldn't help wondering whether it affected her more because, like Mariella, she had a soulmate too.
To be fair, that might be the only thing they had in common. Mariella was a 30-year-old freelance writer from New York who had met her soulmate ten years prior to his demise, while Ru was an 18-year-old student from Seoul who had just found out about her soulmate. Two different worlds.
Her phone had been charging on her table all evening, and if she had accidentally put it on silent, she didn't realize. She found three missed calls from the same number: Jeno.
Oops, she thought as she unlocked her phone.
She was about to text him back when she heard a sudden tapping noise on her window. Before she looked, she already knew who it would be.
"You know—" she slid her window above her— "I don't know what Mrs. Choi would say if she knew you were sneaking into my room every night."
As soon as the frigid night air hit her skin, she noticed his face. A mixture of concern and curiosity.
"Are you okay?" His eyes were softly studying her.
Baffled, she responded, "yeah? why wouldn't I be?"
"I called you but you didn't pick up."
Right. "Sorry about that, I was distracted—"
"—were you crying?"
"W-what—" she tried to contain her eyes from widening— "no, I wasn't."
How could she forget she was just bawling her eyes out a few minutes ago?
He was still crouched beyond her ledge, leaning his forearms against the window frame. "Ru, you're not a very good liar to begin with—" her mouth fell in mild offense— "but you can't lie to me."
He tapped the side of his head— "headache, remember?"
She pursed her lips. Of course... they're soulmates.
"Fine," she rolled her eyes. "I was reading a book."
He cocked an eyebrow. "A book?"
"Yeah, you know... that memoir." She didn't realize that she mumbled it.
"...the memoir that didn't sell a single copy, the one that weird psychic gave you for free?"
She slapped his hand and tsked— "shut up, it was sad!"
He let himself in with a little chuckle. As soon as he landed on his feet, she had to look up to meet his eyes. It was weird how she could never get used to him being in her room; he always looked taller.
"From now on, you're not allowed to do anything sad while I'm not around, okay?"
She fought from letting a smirk sneak onto her lips. Instead, she pouted. "You want to make sure you're there to comfort me, is that it?"
"Please," he scoffed jokingly. "I just don't want a headache."
Ru's nose scrunched in indignation. What a hopeless romantic, this one. A slight rustling caused her to look down at his side, and only then did she notice he was holding a white, plastic bag.
"What's that?" Ru asked.
When Jeno tried to hide the plastic behind him, she furrowed her eyebrows. "What is it?"
She reached out and grabbed the plastic from him. He didn't exactly protest, so she took that as permission to peek into the bag.
"I didn't know what you might need..." Jeno mumbled as he cleared his throat.
Her eyes had to adjust to the abundance of miscellaneous items in the bag. She first spotted Tylenol— classic. Then her eyes drift to a bottle of medicated ointment. Then a big, purple chocolate bar. Wow... Goodfeel Overnight Pads. SECRETDAY Love Ultraslim size M Pads. Instant ramen. Roll-on aromatherapy. SinSin heat patches. Another SECRETDAY Love Ultraslim size L Pads. A whole lot of candy.
She cackled in disbelief. "You're so dramatic!"
He rolled his eyes; he clearly didn't enjoy her amusement of it all. She rummaged through the bag again, fishing out the bulky packages of pads. "What kind of girl needs this many pads?"
He looked away, and she could see the red start to paint his cheeks, eyes blinking rapidly. "They were confusing, okay?"
She stifled a laugh as he continued, "there was an entire wall full of them— I didn't think you girls had so many different ways of catching blood."
His exasperation caused her to burst in laughter.
"Thank you," she smiled. "At least after we Bind, you can tell when I'm having period cramps or if I'm just bawling my eyes out reading sappy books from shady psychics."
He finally looked at her again, his dark orbs piercing through her in clear intensity. Mariella had Han's lightning blue eyes to zap her into cloud nine, and Ru had Jeno's dark, chocolate eyes to consume her, to pull her into the exhilarating unknown.
Only, Mariella and Han never did Bind in the end.
Ru shifted her feet, looking down— "if we Bind..."
She couldn't see, but she knew Jeno must've lowered his head. "What do you mean?"
She caught his eyes again, a creeping weight in her chest. "What if we never Bind?"
Maybe she was half-expecting him to be concerned with her, but he looked more amused than anything. "Ru, we've touched each other, we're destined to Bind— it's just a matter of when."
That must've been what Mariella and Han thought too, right? They couldn't have expected it, but they never had the chance to Bind before he died.
"Well... what if you die?"
"I'm not gonna die—" this time it was him who stifled a laugh— "is that what happened in the book? Is that what made you cry?"
She couldn't help but let out a mumbled chuckle. Well, now it sounded ridiculous. It was so much more dramatic and sentimental when she had read it just a while ago, but his joking demeanor kinda ruined it.
She gave him a lopsided grin. "You should read it."
"No way," Jeno let out a humorless laugh.
"What, why not?" She protested, completely forgetting about her previous awkwardness.
"It looks sappy." He took one step towards her, looking down at her. "And you know, maybe I care about not giving my soulmate a headache if I read it and die from boredom—"
He cut his sentence short, suddenly looking at her like she had grown another head.
"Huh."
She blinked nervously. "What?"
His thick, beautifully sculpted eyebrows drooped as he tilted his head. "You never told me about your soul mark."
There it goes, her heart— rich, steady beats, vibrating against the walls of her chest.
She managed to keep a steady tone. "You never asked."
"Okay..." He nodded slowly; she could feel him inching closer— "I'm asking now."
Why couldn't she say it? He is her soulmate, so it shouldn't be so hard. She slid past him and began stacking the pads on top of her dresser. "Well, you'll find out when we Bind," she spoke with little conviction.
He was nearly pressing against her side, but she didn't look at him.
"Wait," he chuckled, "are you seriously not telling me where your soul mark is?"
"Well..." Ru started lining up the ointments and patches next to the painkillers— "you said the Binding is something that happens to all soulmates who've re-united." She shrugged weakly as she swerved again past a humored Jeno. "We've reunited, so it'll happen eventually."
Why was she avoiding it? Was she seriously still embarrassed about her salaciously-placed soul mark? She took out the chocolate and ramen, dumping all the candy on her desk.
"Then what if I die?"
She whipped her head so fast he almost backed away— "you said you weren't gonna die!"
"Relax—" he raised his hands in laughter— "I'm not dying anytime soon."
Dodging the question felt like being under interrogation. She turned around only to find him cornering her against the table. "Shouldn't I know where it is?"
Ru swallowed. "No you don't."
For a moment, he didn't speak. The empty plastic bag slowly slipped off her grip and onto the floor, a defiant grin forming on his face as he leaned forward.
"I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure in order to Bind, we both have to touch each other's soul marks at the same time." His voice was barely above a whisper. "So, what part of you do I touch?"
Her heart was definitely not beating fine. Her eyes wandered to his red, pouty lips. God, who let gorgeous lips like that exist? She switched her gaze back to his eyes, only to find that his eyes, too, were locked on her lips. Was he teasing her?
"Or do I have to keep... touching you..." he whispered, "until I find your—"
Oh my god—
"Boobs!—" she blurted.
"It's between my boobs."
Instantly, his eyes widened. "Oh—"
Whatever reaction she expected, it wasn't this: sudden shifty eyes, subtle steps back as he rubbed the nape of his neck and... was he blushing?
"I, uh— great, that's—"
His barely coherent sentence was cut short when one of his feet slid over the fallen plastic bag— "oh shit—" Ru grabbed onto him as he slipped, but it only tangled them, erasing whatever coordination they had as they were sent toppling to the ground.
Ru took none of the fall, knocking the wind out of the poor boy as she landed right on top of him. Jeno groaned, eyes winced as he dropped his head on the floor with a dull thud.
There was a pause before his subtle, comical wheeze sent them both into little giggles, her eyes crinkled in mild embarrassment.
If he didn't look so adorably nervous, she'd be mortified of the position they're in: her body on top of him, his warm hand resting on the small of her back. How come even as they're falling, he still had time to make sure she didn't get hurt?
She rested her chin on his chest, watching his Adam's apple bop up and down.
"I like it when you're nervous."
Her conclusion only seemed to affect him more; he took his hand over his face, shaking his head in embarrassment. She could feel his sturdy chest vibrate from low laughter.
Her nose grazed over his shirt when she pressed her lips against his chest. She wondered if he could feel her heartbeat. Maybe they were just as deep and sharply-paced as his.
Suddenly, warm lips pressed against her forehead; she closed her eyes slowly, a nervous smile creeping on her lips.
If he didn't feel her heartbeat then, he definitely did now.
She would've been okay staying in this position forever, if not for the distant voice that called.
"Ru?"
They both jolted up. "Mrs. Choi!" Ru whisper-screamed, eyes wide as she rolled from on top of him. Like instinct, she pointed under her bed and he immediately shuffled inside.
She stood up, then she sat down on her bed. What position is normal?!—
The door swung open, Mrs. Choi peering in.
"Honey, are you okay? I heard a bunch of noises...?"
"Yeah!" Ru let out a sigh, even though her heart was doing backflips. "I'm okay."
"Alright," she smiled. Mrs. Choi was about to turn around when she paused.
"How are things with you and your soulmate— what was his name again?"
"Jeno—" who was currently hiding under her bed. "And yes, things are great."
Ru had never noticed it before, but Mrs. Choi had the most motherly smile of any woman she had ever seen. The older lady walked up to her, bending her knees slowly to sit beside her.
If it weren't for the boy she had hiding her bed, she would've been so much more calm.
"Does he treat you well?" Mrs. Choi asked.
It was almost like the three ginormous pads were calling out with their tiny little voices— 'of course he does!', 'look at how adorable he is, buying you all this!'.
"The best," Ru affirmed.
The wrinkles in Mrs. Choi's eyes were pronounced. The robin necklace was sitting cutely around her neck. "That's good to hear, sweetheart." Her modestly downcast eyes followed Ru's fingers. The woman reached for her hand, holding them. "I'm just so thrilled you have someone..."
For a moment, she forgot about getting caught sneaking a boy into her room. She nodded, "me too."
"All right, then—" Mrs. Choi patted her hands before standing up. Ru gave her a weak smile as the lady opened the door. Before she exited, however, she turned around one last time.
"By the way..."
"Yes?"
"You can tell the poor boy to stop hiding under the bed now."
Oh god.
Her cheeks were suddenly flushed in red; Mrs. Choi's eyes twinkled.
"Goodnight, then."
⭒⭒⭒
Lunch used to feel lonely. Ru would always sit on the table closest to the kitchen, along with a bunch of other kids she never bothered talking to. Now, she sat on a table a little closer to the center.
She set her tray on the table, sitting down as she set aside her grape pudding for Renjun. Nobody likes eating alone, and Ru was no exception. Her eyes wandered to the cafeteria entrance several times before she whipped out her phone.
Ru:
In the cafeteria now!
She sent the simple text.
Hm. Maybe the exclamation mark was too much.
Ugh no— she shook her head. Why does she always do this? Overthink text messages like they're nuclear launch codes?
Maybe she should add another text... Yeah, why not? She almost laughed to herself; he's her soulmate! She could literally send him an ungodly amount of emojis and gifs and he's not allowed to run away because he's stuck with her.
Ru:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ru:
:))))))))))))))))))))))
Ru:
????????????????
Sent.
Damn, she sounded clingy now.
Ru:
I'll be waiting at our
usual spot :)
Eh, good enough— sent.
She put her phone down, scanning the doorway on her right. When she still didn't find them, she resorted to observing the room.
To think that she had been in this school for almost four years, but had never noticed the molding ceilings or peeling wallpapers. The fans above them squeaked as they swung in a seemingly perpetual motion, circulating air in the room like a flimsy blow from the mouth.
The students didn't look as dead, but they were close enough. Her eyes scanned the many familiar faces, although most of them she didn't actually know. For a brief moment her eyes landed on her former friends, Jia and Chohee— she cringed and looked away.
Ding!
She lifted her phone to find one notification.
Jeno:) sent you a message.
Ooh! She opened her soulmate's text message and it read:
Jeno:) :
?
Jeno:) :
Omw
She stared at her phone, nose scrunched. That's it??
She tsked, setting her phone down again. It wasn't breaking news that the boy's never been one to over-text, but you'd think he'd be a little more chatty with his literal soulmate.
Ding!
She picked up her phone.
Jeno:) :
:D
She rolled her eyes. Idiot.
But god forbid he saw the smitten grin that had formed on her face.
"Whatcha smilin' at?"
Just like that, whatever smile she had was wiped off of her face.
Well, fuck.
She didn't have to look up to recognize the spiteful edge in this student's voice. Messy-collared and shirt unkempt, Jinwook threw her a malicious grin, eyeing her up and down.
"Ru, am I right?"
'Fuck off' was what she wanted to say, but nothing came out.
The thick boy dragged the chair across from her, plopping down with a little satisfied groan. He crossed his fingers as he leaned forward. "What a cute name. Ru."
She eyed the three boys behind the asshole, circling around him like carbon copies of a textbook bully.
"I bet the boys think you're just fucking adorable, huh?" He smirked, creaking the table as his weight pushed down. "You know, I've known the boys a very long time— longer than you— and they've never been the type to hang around girls. Of course the girls fawn, like girls do. But they think they're too good for everyone else, ya know? You'll have to be their soulmate or some shit to get with them..."
For a sliver of a moment, his mask fell— she watched his eyebrows twitch and the ticking in her chest sped up. However, the momentary crack through his facade was boarded up as soon as she saw it; he let out a short chortle. He sighed in snide merriment, leaning against the rickety chair. "So, which one d'you wanna fuck?"
She visibly cringed as her table burst in cackles from the boys behind him; their eyes were drawn to slits. Just like typical high school underlings, they began patting a smugly indifferent Jinwook on the back. He ignored his minions, pointing a lazy finger at Ru.
"Or better yet, which one wants to fuck you?"
The grip on her phone tightened.
He must've noticed.
"'s that them, texting you right now?" His pudgy fingers reached out, pulling at the top of her phone— "come on, I'm sure they won't mind."
Her grip never loosened; her jaws tensed as she used all her strength against him.
After a few seconds of uncomfortable tugging, he warned, "boys don't like it when you're an uptight bitch, so just loosen up, would you?"
Couldn't he take a hint?!
As the friendly facade began to slip from his demeanor, so did the lax expression of the other standing boys. They inched closer and Ru felt alarms ringing in her head.
Her eyes scanned the table. Suddenly desperate, she grabbed the first thing in her sight. Only as the soup splashed gloriously on Jinwook's face did she realize what she had done.
It definitely did the trick, however; Jinwook let go immediately, flying up from his seat with his eyes shut as he emitted a low growl. Slowly, his glare reached her.
"You fucker—"
She was prepared to jump out from her seat, but Jinwook was nudged back by his whispering friend. She couldn't tell what his friend said, but as soon as he finished, Jinwook glanced behind her across the room.
Students all around them were silent now, staring as Jinwook dropped his palm against the table, leaning towards her one last time. His grumpy voice dropped down to a low growl. "I'm not scared of your precious boys."
He looked away again. Then back at her, this time with a smirk. "Tell Renjun he'll be kissing my ass for the rest of his pathetic life."
What did Renjun do to him?
He slammed the table once, causing her— and the rest of the cafeteria— to flinch. With that, he walked away, his pathetic horde following suit.
As soon as they left, her eyes darted immediately towards the cafeteria entrance. She wasn't surprised to see Jeno standing on the doorway, glowering at Jinwook and his mess of friends as they walked away. Not once did his eyes flinch, watching them as they walked out from the other exit.
The air in her lungs flowed out of her in a silent sigh of relief. At this point, she was choking her phone. She must've accidentally clicked a whole lot of random links and files while she was struggling for her phone— her screen was blaring with sketchy-looking websites and indiscernible texts.
She only had one thought in her head as she began deleting them.
She wanted that soup.
________________________________________
chapter twenty three.
This girl needs to lock her windows.
The timing of Jeno's thought was blissfully ironic— here he was, slipping into Ru's bedroom through her window. He jammed his fingers in between a crack behind the ledge and slid the window upwards, almost like second nature.
The sunlight seeped in with him as he landed with a soft thud.
Normally, she'd be there to greet him with a passive jab at how he had never once used her front door. This time, she wasn't.
Muffled sounds of rushing water informed him that his soulmate was in the bathroom, so he sat against the desk chair, going on his phone to resume his text conversation with Renjun:
Jun:
Seungbin's fired btw XD
Jeno scoffed at his phone, a humored smirk forming on his face. Of course that punk got fired, it was just a matter of time. The guy's probably jumped through ten different jobs over the span of a few months. Good kid though, just a little misdirected. But then again, weren't they all?
A sudden thought crossed his mind, so he responded:
Jeno:
So much for free flow
cola
He waited a few seconds before the boy on the other end typed back:
Jun:
Chill he's got us covered
Jun:
Swiped a key card before
he got kicked out
Jun:
Said his boss was a dick
anyway
Damn. This time Jeno's lips curved into a grin— slick bastard.
Jeno:
Good enough
Jeno:
I'll bring Ru next time
The white noise of running water ceased— she'll be out in a minute.
Jeno:
Gtg
Jun:
You're with Ru?
Jeno:
Ya
Jun:
Nice
Jeno was about to stuff his phone into his pocket when its vibration stopped him.
Jun:
Also, no nasty shit okay
Jun:
Keep it PG
This boy— he rolled his eyes, smashing a quick response:
Jeno:
Fuck off
Jun:
You have the rest of your
lives for that
Jun:
But if you must
Jun:
Don't forget protection
Jeno:
Bye
Jun:
Fr I'm not ready to be an
uncle
Jun:
Maybe Jaemin
Jun:
Oh god imagine Hyuck as an
uncle??
A click sounded from the bathroom and he stuffed his phone in his pocket without typing a response. He began to stand up, but the sudden view in front of him stunned his motor abilities— he was paralyzed against his seat.
In front of him was his soulmate, just like he had always known her... just with a little less now.
He swallowed hard as a towel-clad Ru tiptoed across from the bathroom towards her dresser. He tried to look away, but it was like he had no control. Before he knew it, he was tracing her shoulders with his eyes and slowly trailing down to her bare thighs.
She was calmly humming a tune, rummaging through her clothes as if no one was in the room.
Huh...
She thinks she's alone.
What were originally nerves slowly turned into awkward amusement. Her silky tresses draped over one shoulder, her slightly boney fingers feeling through items like a weirdly surreal character.
How long should he stay silent for?
The longer he waited, the worse the timing felt. Strangely though, it felt like he could watch her forever. Was this the way she acted when nobody's watching? Her hums didn't sound as shy as they were honey-laced. How well could you know someone when you didn't know what they're like all alone, no interruptions?
He'd gotten a glimpse and suddenly, it's all he really wanted. Her rawest form, mentally— his eyes wandered along her curves— and physically.
The white silence was so appetizing, so filling. His heartbeat worked at a steady pace, as if at peace. This girl was, quite possibly, the only thing he'd ever need—
"AAAAAH!!!"
He stumbled back against his seat, shielding his face instinctively as what felt like a dozen tiny beads were hurled at him.
"Holy shit—" the girl in front of him gasped— "Jeno, are you kidding me?!"
He looked down at the floor to identify what Ru had just blatantly attacked him with.
Buttons.
He looked up at her, but this time with an exasperated face. "Intruder walks in, and you try to attack them with buttons?"
"It was the closest thing..." Her face was now beet red, and he tried his best to pretend he didn't notice her lifting the slightly loose towel closer against her chest.
If he didn't know any better, he'd be convinced she had cast a spell on him. Her slightly embarrassed tone melted him; he couldn't contain the smirk that worked its way onto his face.
He rolled his eyes. This girl.
He reached down to collect the buttons and she did the same. Her one hand was clutched tightly around her towel as the other scrambled to collect her odd collection of buttons. Even though his hands were busy feeling the floor, his eyes were on her distracted features. His eyes fell slowly down her defined collarbone, working its way down her towel-covered chest.
Her soul mark was just one layer away...
This girl was going to drive him crazy and if he stared any longer, he was so sure he'd be a goner. So he looked away, picking up a flat, black button.
"Wanna explain why you have so many buttons?"
She let out an airy laugh. "It's a long story."
"Even for your soulmate?"
There was a slight pause. She looked up and their eyes met. Honestly, his eyes were tempted to trail down again, but a lopsided smile on her face kept his gaze locked on her.
She knelt in her place, clearing her throat.
"My very first foster home, I lived with this super nice family. They had three daughters and lived in a beautiful house, and had a big backyard with this big red swing— well, it was big to me then."
"They gave me this teddy bear and it was the most handsome little thing, with the little button-up tuxedo and bowtie—" she made a gesture of a tie with her hands— "Mr. Fancy-pants, I think I called it."
Jeno couldn't help but smile at the thought of young Ru naming a teddy bear Mr. Fancy-pants.
"I stayed there for a good year, thinking they were my forever family. I had so much hope then, so much spirit." Her mouth pursed awkwardly. "Then they passed me onto another family and they didn't let me keep Mr. Fancy-pants either. I got so mad..."
She took his hand, lifting it to show the black button wedged between one of his fingers. "So I stole one of its buttons."
Her silly chuckle was contagious; for such a sad story, he had an infatuated smile plastered on his face.
"For some reason, all the other foster families gave me dolls too, but I didn't really want them anymore, you know? I just kinda stole all their buttons, then threw away the doll." A tiny pause ensued before she shook her head, letting go of his hand. "It's not as sadistic as it sounds, I promise."
"But yeah—" she shrugged— "I started liking buttons."
The buttons were now on one small pile. Jeno counted at least twenty buttons, a pitiful feeling tugging in his chest.
"Not all of them are from foster families though," she added as if she had read his mind. "There are some I got from other places just for fun."
She lifted a transparent button. "This one was from my favorite cardigan as a child." She dropped it and sifted through the pile to find a blue button, more cloth-like and round— "this one fell out of my primary teacher's blouse and she told me I could keep it."
"And this one—" she displayed the all-too-familiar daisy button— "I got when you walked me home, remember?"
She licked her lips impulsively. Fuck, she wasn't making this easy for him. He reached for her hand, lowering the daisy button from obstructing his view. Each heartbeat worked like ticking gears, moving his body closer and closer to her. She was doing it too, maybe. His shadow darkened her features, like the light around them knew this moment was just for them—
"Hey Ru, when are we going—"
They instantly pulled apart; Ru stumbled back, landing on her butt with a loud thud. Whatever tangible silence they had was broken by the stunned little boy standing on the doorway of his foster sister's room. "What the fu—"
"Hey, hey!" She interrupted the little boy as she stood up, clenching the towel closely around her chest, "no swearing."
"I'll, um—" she barely looked him in the eyes— "get changed real quick."
With that, she scurried back into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.
It was awkward enough standing alone in a room where an intimate moment was interrupted. It didn't help that the person who did the interrupting was staring at him.
"Are you her soulmate?" The boy blurted.
The kid's eyes were wide, like he was constantly curious about everything.
"Uh, yeah." He nodded. "I'm Jeno."
The boy extended a hand and said in what sounded like his most professional voice, "hello, my name is Dabin."
Firm handshake, he thought. They both stood awkwardly by the bathroom door. Were they just going to stand here like this?
"Ru's very nice."
Jeno looked down at the kid whose height only reached his torso.
"Yeah, she's really nice."
And beautiful. But he wasn't going to tell him that.
The bathroom door was still, and in their silence, he realized how bad he was with children. What was he supposed to say? Even though he towered the little boy, he felt like a seven-year-old too, just waiting for the adult to come and entertain the two of them.
Finally, the bathroom door clicked. He breathed a sigh of relief as Ru walked out, fully-clothed this time. Ru was just as awkward as he was, eyes darting between the two boys in front of her. After giving Jeno a knowing look, she smiled at Dabin, putting her arm over his shoulder as they both walked out in front of him.
He followed the two down the stairs, feeling strangely neglected, like the less-favored child.
"Have you finished your homework?" Ru asked the boy endearingly.
The boy nodded enthusiastically as they bounded down the stairs. She ruffled his hair playfully. "Alright, go put on your shoes then." Dabin sprinted down the rest of the stairs and out of view.
Jeno used this window of privacy to walk down to her side, backing her against the wall by the stairs. He tried to hide in his smirk; he liked how she had to tilt her head up to meet his eyes.
"Where are we going?"
"We—" she motioned at herself and Dabin— "are going to the park for a little walk while his parents go to the hospital."
"Can I come?" His fingers were brushing against her knuckles, waiting for her to meet him halfway.
She gave him a pretty little smile, eyes glistening from the light that bounced from the windows. Just as he thought she was going to say yes, she tilted her head and called out, "Dabin, is it okay if Jeno joins us?"
He turned around to see the little boy peek from the hallway. "Okay—" he shrugged.
When Dabin disappeared back into the hallway, she looked up at him again. "Are you sure you want to babysit?"
His hands lingering over the fabric of her shirt. "Eh, it shouldn't be too bad—" he smirked— "granted, you have your bad days, but for the most part—"
"Haha, very funny." She nudged him away, rolling her eyes at a chuckling Jeno. He skipped down the rest of the steps after her, walking through the rest of the now familiar interior towards the front door.
The breeze was warm and light, perfect for a day out in the park. For the entire walk to the park, Dabin couldn't stop asking the two teens about what it was like to be soulmates. They were flustered at first, but seeing how his questions came from a genuine place of curiosity, they welcomed his questions.
"How often do you feel each others' emotions and stuff?" Dabin asked, tilting his head in Jeno's direction.
Jeno thought back to all the instances. "I got a lot of headaches before I became friends with Ru, but after we started hanging out with each other, it goes away because you're so close to the other person."
The little boy nodded before he began laughing, looking up at Ru. "Maybe he gets a lot of headaches because you cry so much."
She cries a lot? His eyes darted to Ru, whose face was slightly pink from embarrassment.
Before Jeno could ask, Dabin continued, "yeah! She watches a lot of sad movies every night and then she cries like a baaaby—"
"O-kaay," Ru interrupted, clamping his mouth shut with her palm, "I don't watch sad movies every night."
Jeno felt his heart ease, and he watched the little boy struggle under his soulmate's playful grip. He let the two foster siblings walk slightly ahead of him. Her arms were wrapped around Dabin's shoulder as he began talking about his own soulmate.
"If I ever meet my soulmate, she's going to like cars. Because I like cars. I think she's going to be very sporty, and then we can play soccer together. Hopefully she's not allergic to peanuts, because I really like peanut butter. Do you think she's going to be a nice person?"
Ru opened her mouth to answer, but he continued, "of course she's going to be nice. I think I'm kinda nice, so she should be at least kinda nice. I think she's going to be super pretty..."
Jeno watched the way Ru entertained the little boy's excited chatter, her eyes crinkled as she nodded along to his various affirmations. Has she always been this good with children? She threw her head back in laughter, adding on to the boy's enthusiastic imagination.
She'd make an amazing mother.
An amazing mother to his children— their children. His heart picked up its pace, the air he inhaled light in the lungs. It was like taking a quick glimpse into the future: he'd walk a few steps behind them, just to admire the view. She'd make a silly face at their son— or maybe they'd have a daughter— and he'd watch his baby's chubby legs skip with joy.
Ru turned around, the sun glittering her features magically as she flashed him a smile. "What are you doing back there?"
He shook his head slowly, feeling his heart slowly come undone. "Nothing," he muttered.
The skies above the park were a pretty shade of baby blue, the little pond twinkling under the sun. However, the first thing Dabin seemed to notice was the brightly-colored candy stall a few blocks ahead.
"Ru, can we get candy, please?"
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Didn't Mrs. Choi say you should cut down on your sugar?"
"Pleaaase? She never lets me get candy from that stall and they have really cool ones!" Dabin began pulling at her sleeves, pouting as his legs skipped in jitters.
Dabin's hyper-activeness even before the sugar should've been a sign, but Ru sighed in defeat, "alright—" she bent down to face the overjoyous boy— "but don't tell your mom, okay?"
The child nodded, zipping his mouth before throwing away the pretend key. Before they could react, Dabin zapped away towards the candy stall.
Ru stood in silence, watching the boy from a distance as Jeno took her side.
"So," he broke the silence, "you cry when you watch sad movies?"
Ru looked up at him, her nose scrunched.
"I used to get a lot of headaches after we re-united. After we found out for sure that we were soulmates, I was worried, thinking about all those nights you were hurt." He chuckled. "But this entire time, my soulmate just has an addiction to sad movies?"
He loved it when she blushed. With cheeks still flushed red, she retorted, "and what about you, huh? All those nights feeling like my lungs were about to collapse?" She squinted her eyes— "what were you up to, huh?"
Damn. Fair enough. He chuckled, sliding an arm around her waist as a subtle play at an apology. "I'm sorry—" he planted a quick kiss on her head. She leaned against his shoulder, a gesture he took as acceptance to his apology.
They walked blissfully along the path towards a bench just across the candy stall. Soon, Dabin came back holding a fluffy cloud of pink and blue confectionery.
Cotton candy.
The way the colors swirled in front of him— suddenly, it was like he could taste the sweet, syrup-like sensation in his mouth, hear the constant chatter of the carnival crowd. His mother's soft voice.
.
"What's wrong?" The lady asked, her arm loosely intertwined with her young son's.
In front of them, the man had just ended a phone call, lips pursed.
"The deal fell through. The fucking—" he gripped the phone tightly, trying hard not to smash it to the ground— "the deal fell through."
The boy looked up at his parents, his arm dangling from his mother's hand. His mother sighed.
"I'm sorry—" she rubbed his shoulder— "is there anything I can do?"
The man ignored her, his jaw clenched.
"Why don't we go get something to eat, get you out of your mind for a bit?" She continued to rub his shoulder, her head leaning closer to his face. "We can go on a couple of rides while we're here—"
The man shoved his shoulder roughly, shaking his wife's hand off of him— "and waste more money?"
His mother had a confused look on her face. "Honey—"
"—No, seriously, just fucking shut up! What are we even celebrating here, huh? My first big client? Well, how did that fucking turn out?"
Even with the loud, happy noise surrounding the amusement park, it still couldn't mask the aggression that radiated off of him. The young boy watched, intimidated, as his father continued to let out his frustration at his wife. He could see his mother's eyes, the way they glistened with tears.
"But honey," her soft voice quivered, "you brought us here—"
"—So is this my fault? My fault that I'm just trying to pay the bills while you waste them all on stupid fucking rides and toys Jeno doesn't even need?"
Her eyebrows furrowed in shock; her chest was rising and falling at a fast pace, her grip on the young boy's hand tightening.
She tried to speak with a stern voice, but it came out shaky. "That's not what I meant—"
"—You know, I don't give a fuck what you meant, I just want to be alone. I don't need this right now."
With that, the man stormed off and disappeared into the crowd, leaving a heartbroken woman and her little boy.
She fought back tears, her breaths short and heavy. She had almost forgotten about the boy beside her, staring in curiosity.
"Mom, what's wrong?" The boy asked, tugging at his mother's hand.
Snapping out of her trance, she quickly wiped away her tears with her free hand. She kneeled down in front of him, their eyes meeting.
"Nothing's wrong, darling. Dad just needs to go somewhere for a while." She forced her best smile; the boy noticed her damp cheeks, but he remained silent. "I'm craving cotton candy. Do you want to share a cotton candy with me?"
The boy's eyes twinkled as he nodded enthusiastically. The woman watched the cheeky little grin on his face and a little smile formed on her's.
Together, they made their way towards the bright cotton candy stand. The boy marveled at the different colors, how they looked just like rainbow clouds. In its magical glory, he forgot all about the lingering fear he had.
"You can have whichever color you want, Jeno."
His feet started dancing below him; his heart felt tingly with excitement. He scanned the wide array of cotton candies, each bright color wrapped neatly in transparent plastic. His fingers twitched, eager to get the sugary confection in his hands.
He finally decided on a baby blue cotton candy— it looked most like the clouds, bright and pretty. His mother thanked the cotton candy man, paying him with the change in her pocket.
They walked towards an empty bench, swerving through the mass to secure their spot on the bench.
He plopped himself on the seat, a tiny squeal escaping his lips as he eyed the cotton candy on his mother's hand. Watching him so excited, she couldn't help but giggle. She unwrapped the candy and they sat there, pulling apart the cloud of candy.
The boy made exaggerated movements, opening his mouth wide to eat as much as he could at once. His mother watched in delight, which made him want to do it more.
In the midst of her laughter, however, she stopped. He tilted his head, confused. Her eyes were no longer on him, but were focused on something behind him.
He turned around to find his father standing a few steps away from them, a big bag of baby pink cotton candy in his hand.
"Room for one more?" The man asked, his voice hoarse.
His mother stared back at her husband, her expression unreadable.
There was a pause and suddenly, a subtle smile formed on her lips. Tears filled the brim of his mother's eyes, but he stayed quiet. His father walked towards them with an apologetic smile. He sat next to his wife, his arm snaking around her shoulder.
Their eyes finally met and in that moment, the tears finally fell down her cheeks.
He cupped her face, feeling the warmth of her skin. "I'm sorry."
In between sniffs, she nodded. She understood. He gave her a little kiss on the cheek and muttered three little words. "I love you."
"Come on, dad, open the cotton candy!" The boy exclaimed, his hands pointed excitedly at it.
His dad chuckled, ruffling his boy's hair. "Alright, son."
What was—for a brief moment— red, hot anger now became a bright mix of blue and pink. Their laughter echoed in the space around them, the tiny bubble they've created for themselves hiding away the lurking darkness, the inevitable tragedy.
.
"Jeno?"
The scene seeped away from his field of vision as his head snapped in the direction of the light voice. Ru looked at him expectantly, eyes bright with no clue of his buried memory. The little boy beside her stuffed a large portion of cotton candy into his mouth in satisfaction.
The innocent boy looked over at Jeno. "Do you want any?"
Jeno smiled weakly. "No, thanks."
The boy took no meaning to the answer, munching on another piece as he sighed. "You know, Ru, I wish you could live with us forever! Then we could eat cotton candy like this all the time and we never have to tell Mom."
"Don't get used to this, Dabin, I'm not gonna let you have candy anytime you want."
"Well," Dabin contemplated, "if not you, then I can ask your boyfriend to buy me candy."
Ru chuckled, a little blush forming on her cheeks. "Nice try, mister, but this boy over here listens to me—" she turned to face him— "right?"
Jeno always believed he made good poker faces, but it seemed Ru could see through it. She linked her arm around his, searching his eyes. "Are you okay?"
He shook his head dismissively— "yeah, of course."
Maybe she believed him, or maybe she didn't want to pry, but she nodded softly. "You sure you don't want any cotton candy?"
"Yeah, no," he reassured her, "they're too sweet."
Bittersweet.
_______________________________________
chapter twenty four.
"Are we almost there?"
The roads were mostly deserted. The street lights provided the five teenagers with flimsy lighting as they navigated the dark and sketchy path. It was a little past midnight, a time Ru was not used to being out and about in the dark streets.
"We're not that much closer than when you asked literally two minutes ago," Renjun responded from ahead of her.
She scrunched her nose. "It doesn't help that I don't even know where we're going."
The air was cold, prickling the skin on her face. She zipped up the stubborn, loose zipper of her grey hoodie, pulling the large fabric tighter around her. A sudden shuffling somewhere far behind her caused her to snap her head around apprehensively. Even after she spotted nothing, she instinctively inched closer to a nonchalant Jeno.
"You don't understand how anxiety-inducing it is to walk outside in the middle of the night with a bunch of delinquents."
This time, Jeno tilted his head in her direction, prompting a smile on his face. "Don't you trust me?"
She shook her head— "especially not you."
He feigned heartbreak, crossing his arms as he pouted indignantly. She giggled at the sight. "I only trust Jaemin," she cooed as she rushed to the amused boy in front of her, leaving Jeno behind with his mouth agape.
She gave Jaemin a big bear hug, in which the boy gladly returned. As they climbed the upturned road, the two hugging friends faced backwards at Jeno; Jaemin gave his best friend a smug look.
Jeno stopped in his tracks, a sulky look painted across his face. "Give her back."
His little pout sent Ru into a fit of laughter. For someone so much taller and bigger than her, he looked like the smallest little thing to her right now. So when Jeno held out a hand to her, she let go of Jaemin (reluctantly) and intertwined her hand with the pouty boy. The moment she did, his eyes turned into a crescent smile, satisfaction lingering on his features.
A little blush crept onto her cheeks as she felt his firm, warm hand tight around hers. If there was one thing she learned about her soulmate, it was that his hands always found hers. They could be walking to class, or he could be sending her home, but their hands would always brush, his fingers would poke at her like they were asking her to hold him back. A part of her began to wonder if he even noticed he was doing it; he always looked so calm and collected, so hard to read. It didn't matter though— it was nice either way.
"We're here!" Donghyuck's voice rang with high-pitched excitement.
She stared at the building in front of her, feeling a lot more confused than she was amused.
"A shopping centre?" She raised her eyebrow, looking at the rest of the excited boys. "A closed one, too?"
"Uh huh—" Donghyuck nodded. The rest of the boys looked just as calm, looking at her like she was the crazy one.
"What, are we going in or something? Isn't that trespassing?"
"It's not trespassing if you have a key." Her eyes shifted to Donghyuck, who was now flashing her a keycard with a buttered look on his face.
"Uh—" she watched in confusion as the boys walked on— "still trespassing."
The rest of them didn't hear her; they continued towards what she assumed was a back entrance to the shopping mall. She didn't even realize she was standing still until Jeno turned around, giving her a look. "You coming?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Uh—" Jeno feigned contemplation before shaking his head— "nope."
Ru sighed, resuming her pace until she met with the rest of the boys. Together, they climbed up a small flight of stairs that led to the back entrance. Since Jaemin was in front, Donghyuck passed him the keycard for him to swipe against the card reader. The machine made a loud beeping noise and the door was unlocked.
The boys walked in casually, leading a slightly apprehensive Ru into the dark interior of the mall. It seemed like they were in some sort of staff-only area, with a bunch of crates pushed away to the side and rubber-material lining the floors, giving friction to every step she took.
"Is this a supermarket?" Ru whispered as her eyes scanned her surroundings warily. Her heart felt a little uneasy, suspicious that a security guard or personnel would jump out at them at any moment.
"Mhm," Jeno mumbled mindlessly as they all followed Jaemin's lead.
As much as she was terrified of making a noise, she feared the eerie silence all the same. So, she hummed softly to the rest of the boys, "wanna tell me how you guys got a card?"
"A bunch of us used to sneak in here all the time when one of our seniors worked here," Donghyuck explained; Ru flinched at the way he talked so loudly, with no regard to the fact that they were trespassing.
"A senior?" Ru whispered again, "from school?"
"Not exactly."
Ru scrunched her nose, as if egging for further explanation.
"We got so used to the place that when he quit, we didn't wanna let go of the..." Donghyuck paused to think of the right word— "benefits."
"Luckily, our other friend started working in the supermarket so all we get to keep coming here," Jaemin continued.
They continued to walk down the dark hallway, making turns she was starting to forget. They passed a room that said security; Jaemin took the key card, swiping it against the door before returning it to Donghyuck. She was confused when he entered the room, and even more so when the other boys continued walking, leaving Jaemin somewhere in there.
"So your other friend works here now?" Ru asked as she glanced at the security room before they turned a corner.
"Nah, dude got fired." Donghyuck concluded. "But he swiped this card for us. Nice guy, that Seungbin."
"Bit of a pain in the ass, though," Renjun mumbled.
"Worth it!" Donghyuck spoke in a sing-song voice, waving the plastic card in glee.
"So you guys just hang around at the supermarket?" Ru squinted her eyes in suspicion— "wait, do you steal stuff?"
"Calm down, Ru, we're not criminals." Donghyuck rolled his eyes. "We haven't even gotten to the best part."
She turned to Jeno, giving him a skeptical look. "What's he talking about?"
"You know how sometimes products don't get sold before their expiry date?"
Ru stared at Jeno before nodding hesitantly.
"Normally every night the employees are required to clean out their inventory, you know, take all the food that is expired and clear out any remaining things in the dispensers."
They reached a dead end; Donghyuck swiped the key one last time, a beeping noise sounding in the air.
"But one thing we've learned about this specific supermarket is that, for some reason, they do this inventory filter in the morning, right before they open."
Ru's head tilted. "Which means..."
"Which means that every night, there's a bunch of food that is technically in perfectly good condition, waiting to be thrown away," Renjun finished her thoughts.
"Or eaten by us—" Donghyuck winked at her before pushing the door with one swift motion.
A swift gush of cold air rushed in through the hallway, revealing the familiar sight of a typical supermarket. Except the place was deserted, with only a few dim fluorescent lights from displays illuminating the space.
Donghyuck let out a low whistle as he sauntered into the wide room. Without looking back, he announced to the others that he was checking out the chips section, and soon disappeared into one of the darker aisles. The rest followed suit, although taking their time scanning foods closer to them.
Sudden, curt footsteps from behind her caused to spin around quickly in apprehension. Her heart beat rapidly as she held onto the hem of Jeno's shirt, eyes darting cautiously into the dark corridor. When Jaemin appeared from the shadows, she finally let go of her breath.
"Relax," Jeno spoke in a low voice. "We're fine."
She looked up at him to see his eyes were fixed on the hem of his shirt— the one she was holding on to dear life. "Right—" she dropped her grip on the fabric, looking away swiftly.
Soon, everyone split up into separate aisles to look for their own preferred snacks. The silence scared her at first, but soon it became more peaceful than it was eerie. There was something so surreal about being at a normally crowded place and seeing it so... stagnant.
Ru followed Jeno to the candy aisle, her eyes wandering the rows of products in front of her. He picked up a colorful packet, examining the expiry date shortly before hanging it back in its place. She couldn't help notice that pout he was putting on again, increasingly evident with each packet he checked.
"Jelly candies?" Ru asked as she took a packet closer to her side.
He looked up from the packet on his hands, his eyes curved into a beautiful crescent as he gave her a childish smile. "These candies have super long expiry dates, I think I've only ever found an expired one once. If not, sometimes the defects in the back are good enough— no one misses those."
It was probably the way his cheeks puffed when he smiled at her, but she felt an overwhelming urge to make sure he got his stash of candy for tonight. She knelt down, sifting through packets that hung loosely on the rack until her fingers grazed the back.
She spotted one packet that looked slightly frayed. Was it neglected enough, though? Her eyes drifted to the boy— the way his eyes searched hopefully, how he had the tip of his tongue stuck out unconsciously.
She sighed.
This boy.
She made sure he wasn't looking before she craned her head further to the back of the rack. Her fingers gripped the edge of the packet lightly before ripping downwards. It was subtle, but it should do. She tore the little punchhole through which it hung on the horizontal pole, taking it with her as she stood up.
"Hey, does this count as a defect?"
Jeno looked at the candy pack in her hands, and her heart swelled as she watched his eyes lit up. He traced his finger over the rip that exposed the candies. He looked back up at her, a tiny smile forming on his lips. "You're my lucky charm, you know?"
She felt the heat travel up to her cheeks. She extended her hand, letting him take the candy. No matter how many times she observed his face, she could never get used to how handsome he looked. The dim lighting couldn't really do favors for anyone, but even then his features looked alluring.
She could've stared forever, but a boxy gadget situated at the corner of the ceiling behind him caught her attention.
CCTV.
She whipped her head away, looking in another direction— oh god, she looked straight at it.
His eyebrows furrowed. "What?"
"Jeno, there are CCTVs here."
His expression was relaxed, maybe even a little amused at her concern. "Don't worry, Jaemin took care of that."
Oh.
So that's what Jaemin was doing in the security room. Of course they would've thought of that, huh?— they've literally done this probably a thousand times.
CRASH!
A loud collision echoed throughout the supermarket, causing Ru to jump on her spot. Holy shit, what was that?— Jeno inched closer to her, hands subconsciously reaching for hers as his eyes looked into the distance where the noise came from.
Before Ru could begin to panic, however, another voice boomed—
"HYUCK YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"
In that instant, the intensity she felt on her chest dissolved as the two soulmates began snickering at Renjun's temper. After that, she couldn't even guess what happened, the explosion of bickering from the next aisle sounding blurry.
"Renjun's short temper and Donghyuck's adolescence? Recipe for disaster," Ru chuckled.
"Yeah—" Jeno scoffed, sounding like an exasperated father. "But for what it's worth, they've never failed to have each other's backs when it matters."
A subtle smile graced her face. He didn't have to tell her that for her to know. She may not have been there with them from the start, but anyone could see the bond these boys have— they've gone through hell together. All of them.
"You know," Ru started, inching closer at a slightly distracted Jeno, "you never talk about the things you guys went through together."
The look he gave her was soft, almost like when a child asks their parents something too complicated for them to know.
"It's not important—" he faced her, their bodies almost pressing— "not anymore. We got out."
Again, his fingers snuck their way around her hand. "And I'd never drag you into that mess, you know that right?"
She gave him a reassuring smile, nodding— "yeah, of course."
For what it's worth, ever since they became close, she never had any reason to believe that he was still mixed in with the wrong crowd— at least not intentionally. If he was, she was bound to run into them, right? As she watched him scan for more snacks further down the aisle, she remembered that she did run into one person.
"What about Jinwook, though?" Ru blurted; she didn't know why she asked, suddenly worried about his reaction.
However, he seemed completely nonchalant. "What about him?"
"He's bad news, and he's still around school. Isn't that going to cause some problems?"
"Nah—" Jeno shrugged— "that dick's irrelevant."
She chuckled, relieved at the fact that he didn't think Jinwook was a problem. The guy does seem like the all-bark-no-bite type of person, but it wouldn't hurt to be careful, right?
She thought back to the last encounter she had with the asshole. She cringed visibly, shaking her shoulders at how much she didn't want to be thinking about the guy. But then she remembered something he said and felt her eyebrows knit in slight confusion.
"Hey, remember when I spilled soup on Jinwook?"
Jeno let out a sharp laugh, reminded of the memory— "right, I forgot to congratulate you for that."
"I forgot to tell you something about that day."
He looked her way, and as soon as he noticed her thinking face, he walked back up to her, head tilting down. "Mhm?"
"Before he left, he said to me, 'tell Renjun he'll be kissing my ass for the rest of his life'. I know he hates you guys and all, but does he have anything specifically against Renjun?"
Jeno's eyes were drawn together, his jaws tensed. "That's weird."
See felt herself grow more curious and unsettled, seeing that Jeno seemed none the wiser. The tall boy bopped his head slightly, giving her a reasoning look. "But then again, Renjun does talk a lot of shit in front of Jinwook. The stuff he says... I'm just glad he's on my side."
Ru scoffed playfully, Renjun's sassy side popping in her mind. "Yeah."
"Oi lovebirds, come here!"
She whipped her head to the side to spot Jaemin peeking from the end of the aisle shortly before disappearing again. Jeno's hands snaked around her waist, causing shivers down her spine. "Come on, there's one more thing we haven't shown you."
They walked out of the aisle and towards an empty space, where a dimly lit counter area stood. Donghyuck was at the nearest aisle, groggily picking up a bunch of cans on the floor that Ru assumed must've been the cause of the earlier ruckus. A trolley laid on its side, toppled over dramatically by the mess.
Ru stifled a laugh as she passed him. Renjun was already behind the counter, taking out a bunch of empty plastic cups from somewhere under there.
"What did you wanna show me?" Ru looked up at Jeno.
She expected Jeno to answer her, but instead, Jaemin took her hand, pulling her away from Jeno and towards the counter.
"I present to you..." Jaemin dragged his words... "Free-flow cola!"
She was met with two large drink dispensers, the cola liquid spinning slowly around the rotary device within the container. Before she could even process what she was looking at, Renjun slid a paper plate across the counter to her. She looked down and—
"Woah, where did you get this hotdog?"
She looked up to find Renjun holding up ketchup and mustard. "Sauce?"
"HOTDOG!" Donghyuck exclaimed, claiming the hotdog in front of her.
"Hey, that was for Ru, you boar."
"Ru doesn't mind, right?" Donghyuck flashed her a pretty smile, batting his eyelashes like a schoolgirl.
Half amused and half confused, she nodded. Donghyuck jumped in his place as he took a large bite, swerving away from Renjun who threatened to squirt sauce at him.
Jaemin must've noticed her confusion as he let out a chuckle. "You know how we were talking about how the supermarket throws out their stuff in the morning?"
Ru nodded and he continued. "Well, they do the same with their fast food. They change out the cola every morning, and put all the hotdogs they wanna throw away overnight in there—" Ru looked at where he was pointing; there was a hotdog rotating machine, but the lights were off. "They never realize it's missing."
She nodded in amusement, barely noticing Jeno by her side again. "To be honest, we almost never find expired food in the aisles since they take so long to, so mostly we come for the cola and hotdog."
For some reason, seeing the boys help themselves to the meal in front of her, she couldn't help but give out a bittersweet smile.
"So this is where my boy sneaks off to, huh?"
Jeno shrugged with a smirk— "Your boy's gotta eat somehow, right?" He grabbed her by the waist and she let out a little yelp as he lifted her up, placing her on the counter.
"Here." He handed her his cup of cola, eyes like crescent.
Soon, they all gathered around the counter, eating hotdogs and sipping on their free-flow cola. Jeno leaned between her legs, an arm draped over her thigh as he laughed at something Jaemin said. They spent the next hour like this, getting comfortable in their little space, the flickering bulbs above them sparing barely enough light as they conversed in whispering tones.
________________________________________
chapter twenty five.
"That's why you fell down the stairs?" Jaemin gasped. He was sitting on the floor, looking up at her, his palms pressed against the floor to support his leaning weight.
Ru couldn't tell how long they've all been talking, or what time it was. She didn't really want to look at her phone, secretly not wanting to ever leave the supermarket. She would talk forever, if she could. In the middle of their conversation, Ru had let slip about the incident with Jia and Chohee, the memory seemingly irrelevant now that she's with her real friends. The boys, however, took the news hot like fire.
"Yo, those girls are actually crazy." Donghyuck shook his head in disbelief; he was sitting cross-legged inside the shopping trolley, gripping on the bar like a child. "Like, what in the actual hell."
Jeno was silent, and he turned to face her, hands hovering over her waist as his eyes went soft. "Why didn't you tell me?"
The look of concern in his features made her melt. She pouted, holding onto his bicep. "I didn't want you to go crazy on them."
He raised his eyebrows, scoffing in slight amusement. "I'm not gonna go crazy on them—"
"Well I am—" Renjun interrupted with a sharp note— "who the fuck do they think they are?! It's absurd, I— the audacity!"
For some reason, Ru found their outrage endearing. After a while of throwing insults regarding the two girls and a bit of convincing from Ru for them not to go after her ex-friends, they finally started laughing about the situation, reminiscing it as a distant memory.
"You know," Jaemin thought aloud, "if they never pushed you down the stairs, you guys might've taken a whole lot longer to find out you were soulmates."
Jeno glanced at her, his lips curved slightly. Soulmate.
She was thinking the exact same thing as she looked into his dark, glossy eyes. How could this beautiful boy be her soulmate? She was willing to bet she'd spend the rest of their lives wondering. Renjun had started playing music from behind the counter, the subtle tunes setting a mellow and nostalgic mood as they sat in the silent ambience.
Jeno looked over at Renjun. "Not too loud, security might hear."
Ru's eyes widened— "security?"
"Don't worry," Jeno reassured her with a chuckle. "It's just one guy and he doesn't usually patrol this side of the mall. But just in case."
His smile settled her heartbeats into steadier beats. Who wouldn't be eased by that handsome smile?
She looked around the empty space, a renewed realization of being at an unfamiliar place hitting her again. There was something so dreamlike about being at a supermarket in its dormant state that it felt almost wrong to just sit. Her legs began to feel antsy beneath her.
"So—" she popped her tongue against the walls of her cheek— "what do you usually do other than raid the place for food?"
Jeno shrugged. "Not much, just explore."
"Alright—" she flashed Jeno a grin— "let's explore."
With that, she plopped herself from the counter onto the ground, one hand intertwined around his as she led him away from the distracted boys. Jeno followed her curiously, the soft music slowly fading into the background. She didn't know where they were going, but she explored each aisle, looking through items like she was actually going to purchase something, all while dragging him along happily.
They finally found themselves in the refrigerated section. The white lights emitted from the line of open refrigerators, giving them a crystal glow. Suddenly, everything else around them looked dark, them being the only thing illuminated.
Her eyes scanned the line of drinks, eyes twinkling at the various options she couldn't find at a small convenience store or the school mini mart. She picked up a few brightly-colored drinks, reading their labels in mild fascination.
Jeno's eyes were trained on her, a little smile on his face as he watched her mouth the ingredients to a cold milk tea bottle. The sleeves of her grey sweater swallowed her hands, fitting her loosely. His eyes trailed down to her body, and he immediately noticed that she was slightly shivering.
"Hey—" he pulled her towards him and she put the drinks back before looking back at him. He pulled the hoodie together, zipping them up as she stared up at him.
She stifled a laugh; how could someone look so serious zipping up a jacket?
"Feel my hands." She pressed her palm against his red-tinted cheeks, squishing them together as she felt his warmth radiating throughout her; he let out a low laugh, eyes smiling.
"Your cheeks are so warm," she giggled.
His hands held her upper arms, slowly gliding down the soft, grey fabric until his hands reached hers. He cupped them, warming her fingers with his own heat. Slowly, he let their intertwined hands fall to their sides.
He looked down at her and a tiny smirk formed on his face. "You're in my hoodie."
"Yeah—" she looked down, almost forgetting that she was wearing his clothes. "Sorry, I meant to give it back, but—"
"No, you keep it." He whispered, "it looks so much better on you, anyway."
Ru felt her heartbeat richening with each passing second. The soft music flowed around them, lulling them into a dreamlike moment where nothing else really existed.
They swayed to the music, silent giggles echoing around them. The beat of the song started picking up and he lifted her hand, twirling her jokingly as the fabric of his grey hoodie around her danced too. He pulled her in, laughing at her almost losing her balance. Her palms pressed flat against his chest, every vibration of his lungs sent to her like tingles.
It was just them and the distant music. Their eyes met, and like missing pieces of a puzzle finally reuniting, their gazes were locked on each other.
His eyes were cozy, lips tugged into a warm smile as their bodies followed the beat of the music.
"Hi," he uttered out in a low whisper, eyes like the moon.
She couldn't contain the smile that worked its way across her face, stifling a giggle.
"Hi."
It felt as if the music around them had faded into nothing; his head leaned closer, his eyes flickering between her soft, glossy lips and her starstruck eyes. Slowly, she felt his arms graze gently against her back as she stood on her tiptoes to meet him halfway.
With her breath held dearly in her lungs, she closed her eyes, letting a soft pair of lips graze the top of her mouth. She felt electricity surge through from the contact; she pushed forward, drawn for more. However, her eyes flickered open when she felt the boy pull away, a weird sensation of emptiness threatening to envelope her.
Only when she saw the way he stared into the distance in concentration, did she realize that the music around them really did fade into nothing.
She looked out and into the distance, tilting her head curiously.
It wouldn't have been as strange, if not for the fact that the supermarket was pin-drop silent now. She listened for the other boys, but couldn't hear anyone. The glow of the refrigerator was suddenly a floodlight to the blaring silence.
She was about to make a joke about how silent it was, but looking up at Jeno, it seemed he already noticed. His eyes were trained on the end of the aisle, eyebrows furrowed. Before either of them could break the silence, a loud booming voice exploded—
"I know you kids are in here!"
Oh shit!— Jeno grabbed her and they both instinctively ducked. The previous calm was rudely interrupted by her rapid heartbeats.
Dull footsteps sounded a few aisles down as the two slowly crawled to one edge. Ru peeked over the corner and back to the counter space where they were just talking their hearts out a few moments ago.
There he was, a short, pot-bellied man in his late thirties, wearing a navy blue uniform with the label SECURITY printed boldly across his back.
The man centered the flashlight onto the counter top, revealing the dirtied paper cups and plates they had used earlier. He emitted a disgruntled sigh as he turned in his spot, shining light on the rows of stagnant shelves.
Ru's breath hitched as she backed away, looking at Jeno with an alarmed look. She was baffled to find that he didn't look even the slightest bit intimidated. Instead, he looked over the aisle again and started waving off someone she couldn't see, a mischievous grin plastered on his face.
She leaned her head to see what he was looking at; she could barely see it but across the room, she spotted some heads peeking out of the cashier, and a hand suddenly waved from under it. She stifled a laugh— must be Donghyuck.
Now she almost felt bad for the security guard. She wondered how many times he actually tried to catch the boys but failed. The way the man called for them, it was almost like he knew this situation all too well. The guard was definitely not paid enough for this. The boys, on the other hand, looked like they would pay to be in situations like this— was this their idea of fun?
"Come on—" Jeno whispered, gesturing for them to move locations.
They walked slowly, leaning close to the aisle as they moved in a crouched position. His hands were tight around hers as he led her along the tall shelf. Her heart was still racing, but now it wasn't so much from fear but rather exhilaration.
When they were at the corner of the aisle, Jeno peeked carefully over it to make sure the guard wasn't looking before they zoomed past the opening. They kept going like this until they reached the final aisle which was closest to the staff door that they originally came in from.
"What about the others?" Ru whispered, glancing back to make sure they were in the clear.
"Let them have fun," he replied, "they'll get here soon."
As soon as he said that, they heard a loud beep bounce off the walls from the other side of the supermarket. The two of them whipped their heads, immediately retracing their steps to quickly peek over and assess the situation.
"I got you now, you bloody bastards!"
The security guard was now waddling towards the cash register— someone must've accidentally rung something. Her heart picked up its pace, watching the scene unfold before her like a movie. She noticed that the cash registers were situated at the corner of the supermarket, next to the big opening that led to the mall. However, the opening was gated down.
This meant the boys were cornered.
She squeezed Jeno's hands, feeling tense. How were they going to get out of this?
With each slow step the man took, her brain ticked, coming up with all sorts of scenarios in which this played out. Suddenly, her head stopped at one scenario like a comical light bulb over her head. Let them have fun, Jeno said.
Well, she could have fun, too.
Without thinking twice, she yelled at the top of her lungs— "OVER HERE!"
Jeno jumped beside her, scrambling to shut her mouth with his hands, but it was too late; the security guard whipped around, nearly blinding them with his flashlight.
Like the calm before the storm, Jeno's low voice echoed in her ear—
"Run."
They immediately turned around, sprinting for the staff door as they heard a violent "HEY!" vibrate behind them. She didn't know where they were going, but he did. They navigated hallways, past crates and boxes; her head was light and her heart felt like it was going to explode.
Gradually, she began to recall the steps they were taking and she was sure they were nearing the back exit. Knowing that they were close, she felt her chest lighten. Her lips curved in a giddy smile, the dark walls beside her speeding past in a frenzied blur.
She had never done anything like this before, and it was plainly obvious from the way she felt like she was high on something. It was strange— she always thought she'd be heavily against anything that broke the rules, but with him, breaking the rules was fun.
Finally, she spotted the big, metal door at the end of the hall. Their footsteps barely decelerated as the two bumped against the end. Her breaths were ragged, ears peeled for the heavy— and slightly lagged— footsteps behind them somewhere.
"Fuck," Jeno cursed abruptly.
"What?" She leaned closer to him.
For the first time that night, she finally caught a hint of alarm in his eyes. He ran his fingers through his hair, eyes locked on her.
"I don't have the key card."
Her knees buckled at his sentence, her chest constricting like ice spreading throughout her lungs. What?
So now they were cornered.
Suddenly, her breathing slowed— not because she was calm, but it was like she forgot how to breathe. She regretted screaming at the officer, rationalizing that the boys probably would've been fine without her help; they've done this hundreds of times, of course they knew this like the back of their hands.
In her state of panic, she forgot that her soulmate was one of these boys and he, too, knew this situation like the back of his strong, veiny hands.
"Come on—" he signalled, grabbing her hand once more as he pulled her back towards the way they came, towards the footsteps.
"Where are we going?" Her voice came out shaky, from both the lack of air and her nerves.
"To hide." He didn't stop to let her catch her breath.
She could hear the familiar clicking footsteps bounce closer to them— he was getting closer, why was Jeno leading them straight to him? She wanted to trust him, but as soon as she saw the man's shadow enlarge from just around the corner, she lost all composure.
"Jeno, he's right there—"
She could barely get her words out when Jeno tugged her spontaneously to the side, almost causing her to stumble. Only then did she notice a previously camouflaged door, a small 'Janitor' plaque sign on its door.
Jeno ripped the door open, pushing them both into the incredibly miniscule space. They squeezed between brooms and cleaning supplies, the door clicking shut and enveloping them in darkness. The dank air was almost noise-cancelling; their breaths were now twice its volume, her heartbeats rushing blood past her ears.
Her legs were shaking, and it was obvious because shrill rustling plastic noises now filled the air; she must've been stepping on some sort of plastic, but she couldn't even see where she was standing, everything was pitch black.
"Ru, stop moving," Jeno warned in a slightly-desperate whisper.
She tried, but the distress in his voice only set her off more; she fumbled, knocking what sounded like a bottle onto the ground. She whimpered in response, feeling her legs turn into jelly from the daunting realization that at this rate, they were as good as caught.
"Ru!" His whispers were urgent now, and she just wanted to cry.
"I know, I know, I'm sorry—"
Suddenly, she felt a pair of warm hands encircle the back of her thighs, right below her butt; her breath hitched as she was lifted off the ground and pulled up against a steady torso. She swallowed her little yelp, arms automatically hooking around the familiar neck and legs instinctively wrapping around toned hips.
She took shallow breaths, fighting with every ounce of her being not to make a sound. With the commotion of their escape, the loose hoodie zipper on her slid down, exposing the thin fabric of her shirt. Her whole body was wrapped around him now, her chest rising and falling desperately against him. She buried her head into the crook of his neck, suddenly overcome with exhaustion.
Even though the janitor's closet filtered out most of the outside noise, her sensitive ears began to catch the dull footsteps that slowly grew in volume, indicating that the security guard was close. She closed her eyes, feeling all kinds of emotions as she hugged Jeno tighter.
Fear— fear of getting caught by the grumpy security guard. Concern— concern for the rest of the boys who were still somewhere out there. Giddy— giddy because she could feel his hands travel up her thigh as he continued to support her weight.
She kept herself from squirming under his touch; there were too many variables, she could not even account for the position they were in right now, this was too much for her.
Ru focused on the footsteps, using it as a benchmark to her anxiety. The footsteps were loud for a few seconds— the man was walking past the janitor's closet. She held the air in her lungs, her anticipation reaching its peak. When the footsteps slowly receded, she felt her breathing slow down. Her muscles relaxed and she started to grow antsy in her place.
Jeno felt her impatience, his fingers digging deeper into her skin as he whispered, "not yet."
He was right; not a while later, the footsteps got louder again. Her legs wrapped tighter around him, the pit in her stomach growing bigger. It wasn't as bad as before, though, and sooner than later the footsteps disappeared again.
Now, it was back to their silent breathing. He let go of one hand and began rubbing her back to comfort her. "We're okay."
She nodded into his neck, still fighting to catch her breath. It was like he knew about her erratic breathing and gave her time to adjust. A minute went by as they stayed there, her heart beating steadily against the interior of her lungs.
A barely-audible click sound notified her that the door was opening; she felt a cold draft hit her thighs as she felt him walking with her still wrapped around him.
"Hey." She felt his hot breath fan her ears while he whispered, "he's gone."
She finally looked up and noticed that they were in the hallway again. His grip loosened around her thigh and she slid back down to the floor, still pressed against him.
The space was shrouded in silence, and it made her nervous. She felt exposed, like waiting for the bomb to explode. The only thing that kept her from completely falling apart was the hand gently caressing the small of her back, keeping her safe.
He moved carefully towards the direction of the supermarket, and she followed closely. The silence was killing her and it was frustrating him. Neither of them had to say anything to understand that they couldn't risk walking back to the supermarket. They had to trust that the rest of the boys would find their way here.
So they stood idly, anticipating the worst, but hoping for the best.
Her ears strained to catch any distant noise, and it did: she could hear a muffled collection of thuds and a high-pitched cackle — was she hearing it right?
The two looked at each other, baffled. A second later, they could hear the staff room door burst open with a bang. She jumped in her spot, legs set to run but Jeno stopped her, signalling for her to wait. She stood with bated breath as the collection of heavy footsteps came their way.
Even though she anticipated it, her heart still skipped a beat when the boys rounded the corner, Renjun bumping into her with a frantic look on his face—
"Run run run oh my fucking god—"
Renjun gave her a head-start push and the five of them ran towards the exit, a shot of adrenaline coursing through her like a drug. Slightly ahead of her, Donghyuck was screaming in sinister delightment.
"HE TRIPPED OVER MY CAN OH MY GOD."
"You jerk!" Jaemin pushed the words out through heavy breathing as they continued to run.
"What? I didn't put the can there on purpose—"
They skidded to a halt; Jaemin swiped the key card quickly, opening the door.
"YOU STOPPED TO LAUGH ASSWIPE!"
Ru didn't even have time to react to their chaotic bickering; they flew out through the door, bounding down the stairs and into the open air.
Frigid air filled her lungs, but she never felt more alive. She never looked back as the five friends dashed down the deserted street, their shadows prominent under the glow of the Seoul streetlights. Mixtures of laughter and heavy breathing was all she could hear as they slowly disappeared into the night.
"Never—" she huffed— "again."
Even as the words came out, she already felt the smirk spread across her lips—
She was such a liar.
________________________________________
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