Excuse me, I hope Im not bothering you, but I have a couple questions on some of the things you would prefer when it comes to the fandom.

When it comes to dark or twisted au's that other writers create, would you prefer something more just a real 'what if' like 'An Interesting Arrangement' from @ribbondee ? Or would you dig deeper into something that would show more of a dark side to the characters like the 'Amnesia' segment from @cartooncadet666 ?

And of course the only other question I have right now (hence why I said a couple questions) When it comes to the art style diversity, what kinds of art have you seen the fandom make and if you have any favorites, which ones do you love the most?

Not bothering at all 💙

Interesting questions. I have to start off with saying that, ultimately, what I "prefer and not prefer" about the fandom should not be an indication of whether someone's work is good or not, nor should it bar the fandom from creating whatever they want. I have my own tastes and preferences just as much as the next person, and naturally we're all drawn to work that mostly aligns with our tastes/preferences.

Your first question is whether or not I would be more drawn towards an au exploring a character's dark side, or towards one with a 'what-if' scenario. My answer to that is that it depends on the content.

I like both dark au's and what-if au's, it just depends on how well they are written, and sometimes it also depends on the characters. I know this is going to break a lot of hearts, but since Betrayus is not my favourite character, I'd feel less inclined to check out a work centred completely around him in favour of checking out a work that features my favourite characters. This is not the be-all-end-all though, sometimes a work can pleasantly surprise me even if it doesn't have my favourite characters. It really all comes down to writing.

And as for your second question, hmm. A tricky one. I'd say that most of the fandom's art styles are generally cartoonish/2D stylised, but there's a wide swath of diversity within that category. If you show me a list of artworks in the fandom then I can easily point them out and name the artists behind them (at least on Tumblr), which is great because it shows that each artist has a recognisable style. I really don't like choosing favourites though, so I'd rather show you a list of pmatga artists whose styles I really enjoy, if that's okay!

@anti-cosmofangirl @inkteresting-art @ninjastar107 @pacgacha @breezoreceiver @toad-in-a-trenchcoat @xelys-xlys @ghostbunnyarts @famitendo @polina-quail @ask-nova-valentine @slumbergoblin

There are others, but these are the ones I can name on top of my head and who are generally still active (or actively posting pmatga art). I'm sure there are also a bunch of hidden gems out there that I've yet to stumble upon!

re: the tumblr ai stuff, please don’t wipe your blog!! your blog has been so important to me and many others as a place of authentic light and beauty and i would hate to lose it forever 💕

there is a way to download the contents of a tumblr blog (it’s in settings, i don’t remember rn, but i’ll find it if you need it) maybe you could upload to another site or a personal site?

i know this is very serious, and i hate how we are unwillingly contributing to synthetic art, but the world would be poorer for me without your pictures <3

Thank you. Your words mean a lot to me.

This is a dilemma for me. I have loved doing this blog and going out to look for pictures and interesting things to bring here has given me motivation and meaning through years of struggle with depression and several kinds of grief. Going out to look for pictures has put me in situations where I have seen incredible beauty, much of which I never really managed to capture. Also, the many warm and kind messages I've received from people all over the world have given me heart and made me feel less meaningless as a person and more connected. Sometimes I've been criticized for buying the checkmarks and giving money to Tumblr but I wanted to do what I could because Tumblr has been my one happy and safe place online. But now this. To me AI in relation to creativity is just a way for well-to-do but untalented people, the proverbial tech bros, to profit from other people's hard work and creativity. It has no redeeming value in relation to creativity and is actively harmful to artists of all kinds. <trying to figure out how to put a read more link here> I don't even count myself among the real creatives, artists and writers and others who have worked hard and put years into honing their crafts, into learning to translate their hearts and unique spirits into their creative expression. I just see beautiful things and take pictures of them. But it would still make me sick to see AI works based on my pictures, on these times and places that have meant so much to me. Recently I saw a set of cat 'photos' on here that everyone was reblogging and exclaiming over but that to me seemed to just be AI art that was more convincing than most. As time goes on more and more output of AI is going to be almost indistinguishable from real works and unscrupulous people will pass them off as real, getting credit for what was actually created by others. Whether they profit from them becomes almost irrelevant at that point because what's worse is that we will have less and less sense of what is real. And as some have pointed out AI will now also be scraping from AI, muddying the waters further from here on in. This is an apocalypse of sorts, an apocalypse of creativity, ultimately likely to kill the joy of artistic endeavor for many who would otherwise produced brilliant, beautiful, funny, and/or shockingly original things. I'm still parsing and dissecting my thoughts and feelings about what Tumblr has done and how to react. Staying and leaving my blog up feels like consent. I am not confident in the integrity of anyone connected with scraping sites for AI. I'm not convinced that a little toggle in settings is going to make much of a difference in the long run. On the other hand I like posting here and I have received enough messages over the years to know that my blog is a positive influence on some lives. I was looking forward to May and June and posting pictures of the incredible beauty of eastern Pennsylvania in those months. And I was planning on making a side blog for posting some poetry I've been working on. It will break my heart to leave.

I haven't decided yet. Believe it or not this whole thing has given me awful physical symptoms. I'll let you know when I decide. Thank you again for your kind and lovely note!

Hunter Spearcane Concept that's recently released on Patreon. I plan to make more detailed concept stuff in the future. I have recently also posted some designs for Hero, which I cannot reveal publicly yet until these characters make their debut...

You can check the original post in my Patreon but its description is below the cut

Happy Disability Pride Month!

I've been meaning to introduce something for my Anthro Hunter but we're unfortunately not in that time of the current story yet. I've been conceptualizing this (in my head) for quite some time. I figured putting it on my Patreon for early access would be a good introduction to the type of content you'd see here- concepts and such that I'm not as comfortable putting up on my tumblr just yet (because then it would make people think of things that aren't quite there in the story yet and confuse them).

Eventually Hunter would meet a casual death, but NSH introduces to them a peculiar gift: A Spearcane, using materials from their own parts. This tool would be incredibly useful in aiding them, both on the health and combat aspects. It is the next step to Hunter's ongoing arc of them fighting off their illness.

Hunter is initially reluctant and a little embarrassed to use it, not fully grasping its full functionality yet, but it would slowly grow on them.

The sturdy yet light Spearcane has different primary modes:

Full Spear mode - Which is the default mode of the spearcane. On the middle of it is a comfortable grip in the shape of NSH's symbol. This grip area is the centralized part of the spearcane for its other modes as well.

Dual Spear mode - The spearcane is able to divide itself into two shorter spears. It can lock itself back together on command or by manual.

Cane mode - Mostly used for non-combative purposes. After experiencing tremors (which tires out their body) or if Hunter feels withdrawn (or if they wish to traverse rough terrain better), Cane mode is activated to make moving around easier.

Pocket Size mode - The spearcane can retract itself into a much more portable mode. This mode is also activated when it is alerting others or going towards the master, much like a drone.

The Spearcane in cane mode has a wrist strap that is adorned by soft accessories representative of Artificer and their pups. They can use these accessories as stim toys.

The foot of the spearcane is secure and gravitated towards the ground when it detects unusual bodily circumstances in Hunter (mostly for when they are starting to struggle or when they are about to have a tremor). The cane is explosion-proof, so it can be laced in that material and still be intact. The only downside is that it would be on cooldown, so for a while it couldn't be called to, change modes or float.

Now since the spearcane is precious, Hunter doesn't want it to be on the wrong hands, so NSH created a function that shocks the holder upon a certain command "It's Mine!"- a jolt that is comparable to a baby centipede. It's significant that the spearcane doesn't shock when its simply held by anyone other than Hunter, since Hunter would be comfortable allowing their family and friends to use it. (and this would lead to funny shenanigans)

While it is powerful and not that easy to lose as it can be summoned by a simple whistle, the spearcane can still potentially be lost- to allude to the idea that it is imperfect even still- and a bit limiting. The spearcane, while its able to lay Hunter down more easily upon a tremor, life can be a bit unpredictable- and ofc it won't pull out a full-on-mattress. I just feel that's a bit excessive at that point considering everything else it has.

I had research and consultation with cane users. I even saw some users earlier today in the grocery as I was looking for bell peppers haha. Retractable canes are a thing in real life and I really did utilize that and Rain World's technological aspects (while in the acknowledgement that most technologies in the current timeline setting is tarnished and limited) to its full service. Artificer has mementos that remind them of their family, and so shall Hunter- in the form of little objects attached to an object with the primary function of supporting them.

I wonder if summoning canes that can fly about and alert nearby assistants would be practical and possible in the real world...

I've been a part of the phandom since I was fourteen back in 2012, but i've only recently deviated from my lurker ways and started being active in this community on tumblr. which I have been enjoying immensely! I'm super confused about something however, and so i'm making a post about it. please help.

often when I see the word "parasocial" used among the dnp audience, I've noticed that it's used with really negative connotations. Or with the implication that having a parasocial relationship is inherently bad and terrible. today, for instance, I've seen the term parasocial likened directly to "creepy."

I'd like to ask why that is-what has led to the perception of a parasocial relationship in this fandom as one that is intrinsically invasive and creepy. And I'd like also to put forth my own thoughts on why I think it's unhelpful and incorrect that we use this term to be a near synonym for creepy.

first, a definition. I'm turning to Hank Green for this, as he succinctly sums up what a parasocial relationship is in this vlogbrothers video (a recommended watch). He says a parasocial relationship forms "when the parts of your brain that are designed to have a social relationship between you and another person are used to have a relationship with a person who does not know who you are or, sometimes, cannot know who you are... because they're Huckleberry Finn."

At its most basic, a parasocial relationship is a relationship between you and someone fictional or nonfictional who doesn't know who you are. Hank goes on to say, importantly! that parasocial relationships have been happening since the beginning of time. People have been fans of famous or talented people since time immemorial, people have cared for fictional people since the first stories were told among humans.

~ ✌🏻continued below✌🏻 ~

Similarly, in one of his Am I The Hole videos, Phil says that becoming obsessed with things is normal. "People hyperfixate on stuff. It's fine." We all do it.

In many ways, parasocial relationships are as natural as myriad other forms of human bonds. Humans can't help but connect to each other. To other living and even non-living things. Bonding and connecting and forming communities is what we do. And because of that, I think it's a disservice to oneself be ashamed of being in a parasocial relationship, or to use parasocial as a term to serve as a stand in for a disrespectful fan of someone. I think it fosters a sense of guilt where there shouldn't necessarily be any, especially if you as a viewer of Dan and Phil are respecting the boundaries they have set. You are doing something so normal! So human! You are finding support and comfort and empowerment and motivation and creativity and any number of other things from other people.

There is great joy and great good that can come from parasocial relationships. Obviously! Think of Phil's birthday stream, the feelings you experienced when the lights came on in the theater after TATINOF, all the laughs (among other things) Dan and Phil have gotten from our memes and art.

And it's important to consider the other side of this as well. Dan and Phil also have a parasocial relationship with us. It's different, of course, but they do think of us, make decisions because of us, without truly knowing us. At different points in time maybe they know the loudest of us, a few individuals, but for the most part they do not know who we are. They don't know who you are. But they do think about you. They think about what ties us together, our queerness, our beliefs about the world, the internet, our status as socially awkward and or mentally ill nerds etc. They think about how certain videos or projects or merch will be received. All creators are in a relationship with their audience. And it is often a parasocial one.

Basically i find myself exasperated with stumbling over the word 'parasocial' in this fandom. I want to have the information and know the truth and add my own thoughts! Maybe parasocial is used by other people elsewhere on the internet to mean something bad, but my thesis is this: it's not a bad word. It's a descriptor. And it's a normal thing. Those people are wrong. You shouldn't feel bad about being in a parasocial relationship with Dan and Phil! You should call that relationship what it is with pride! And do as much good with it as you can.

conclusion: talk to me about this! What is your perspective, what am I missing? let me know please. would be happy to talk about this with anyone.

(ok what do i do now do i thank you for reading? i don't do this. text post over.)

so, in case y'all are wondering why i haven't been too active the last few days, after a few people like catgirldick and predestrogen got banned just for being transfem, i decided to (mostly) leave tumblr. i've moved over to the fediverse in its place. for those who aren't aware what it is, i'll explain it later, but for those who are, go follow me there! i'm @[email protected]! expect a lot of the same type of content i've posted here - random shitposting (sometimes lewd), programming content, and other nerdy stuff.

for those who don't know what the fediverse is, you can think about it i guess like mixing a social network with how email works - anyone can host an email server, and that email server can talk to any other email servers that people host. anyone can host a fediverse instance on their own server, and that server can talk to any other server. you can see posts people make on other server, other people can see posts you make. people can reply to them, boost/favorite them, etc. and you're able to just... host your own instance if you know how! format-wise, it's a lot like twitter was, minus character limits.

for moderation, depending on what circles of the fediverse you're in, you're not gonna get "banned" just for being trans like you are here. moderation on the fediverse is largely dependent on the instance your account is on - the instance being analogous to "what email provider you use". if people think you're trolling for example, they can report you, and your instance's administrators will receive the report. if the admin doesn't action the report at all, they risk the entire server being blocked by other servers. in other words - the way the fediverse is set up, it's extremely unlikely that someone would be banned for the bullshit reasons tumblr users get banned for, while still having users get banned for legitimate reasons like spam or uh... other reasons you can probably guess i won't get into here.

my reasons for moving boil down to this: i don't want to support tumblr and their actions moderation wise, both recently and non-recently. i'll still occasionally be here to reblog stuff, but posts and other not-really-passive interactions from me will be more rare here.

also honestly, the fediverse, at least in the parts i'm active in, is a lot more gay than tumblr is lmao

Hey, I'm alive.

Hey tumblr people, I am in fact, alive.

I've been struggling with a lot of things lately and pollen season is doing its best to take me out, but I'm surviving. I've been reasonably active on twitter, part of me regrets it quite a bit though honestly. As anyone who has been part of the XIV community there might know, the almost daily drama is kinda exhausting and the more recent one was just so incredibly gross.

It's not just the drama, either honestly. Twitter's over all spoiler etiquette is really.. non existent. I'm an anime only viewer with Dunmeshi atm (Physical manga is really expensive here) and since the show has gotten quite popular I'm seeing more and more spoilers, including a very big one recently that has kinda ruined my excitement to see the next episodes. People are much more polite and reliable with their tagging when it comes to this kinda stuff on tumblr I find.

Anyways, I need to sorta make my way back here. There are people on twitter I really do love and enjoy interacting with and I'm not gonna leave, but I think that as a whole I might be more comfortable being more active here. I'm sorry to the people that have recently followed me here and have received absolutely nothing in return 😅hopefully I can soon begin to change that.

Hii me again. I'm not sure if I sent the ask I'm talking about on anon, so maybe that's why you didn't see it? It partially got answered with a recent ask you got anyway so no worries. I was just wondering if you use 3d in your process and if so, how? I've seen other illustrators use it to varying degrees and it seems like a really helpful tool to push your work.

Oh that's so weird! No I periodically go through my asks in chunks and I didn't see anything like that. I've had a few people in the past few months send me asks that looked like the second half of something else with no context, so maybe it's Tumblr fuckery. Sorry!!

I recommend learning Blender so you can help sculpt shapes and render lighting onto them in order to get the weirder/more complex shadows right. You can also apply colors onto the things you sculpt in order to see how the colors act in different lighting. It's pretty much an invaluable tool to me as it keeps me from having to problem-solve too much. I did a lot of digging around in my house to build references to photograph but it was just impractical to achieve the things I want to a lot of the time. I still do that, and you would not believe how many goofy photos I have of my husband in the poses you've seen me paint Astarion in lmao...

I do think that it needs to be used in moderation if you are a more beginner artist- I think that using 3D is DANGEROUSLY close to becoming a massive crutch for a newer artist and improper usage or over reliance on it can lead to stiffness or artificial looking colors. You need to be able to train your eye to create compelling compositions by bashing things together, and train your hand to replicate/add/subtract as needed from your references with an organic feel.

I will say this as a total committer of this crime myself in the past, it's VERY easy to tell when an artist relies too much on, for example, Clip Studio Paint posed models as bases for pieces without a good enough grasp on their fundamentals. And I also used to prickle when I saw more advanced artists warn of this, so I do think maybe it just has to run its course sometimes, because I know that using 3D for reference seems like an easy-button.

I've taken a lot of in-person classes for live figure drawing and painting, as well as just totally done drills, basically, on sketching and painting from life before relying too much on static imagery/3D/etc.

I often fret over every piece I do looking too stiff even still.

You have to do a LOT of the boring hard stuff the old fashioned way. And I regularly go back to it over and over when needed.

For example, I recently did a stupid amount of rose petal/flower studies deconstructing and painting ugly little paintings/doodles over and over because I know that I've been horribly weak at painting flowers for years (actively avoiding them). And I've been doing a lot of floral stuff lately due to that.

Whenever I start a new piece in new territory, I know it's going to mean several 3AM nighters where I have two other tabs open on Photoshop where I test out different textures or do a couple of studies. I'm working on a piece of my OC right now that has a lot of gore/medical instruments and I've been working on testing out different methods for shiny metal painting and some anatomical studies. I'll come to a snag in a painting and go "here we go" and work through it one piece at a time.

My Halsin piece, "Secret Spot" in the hot spring, was a massive undertaking with a lot of these moments. The Karlach x Dammon piece took 3 times longer than it should have due to me just having to go back and fix things knowing I could do better after doing some studies.

Ultimately I personally find art tutorials to be quite useless overall once you get to a certain point, unless they are teaching the use of a tool/software because you HAVE to figure out what works for you. And even then I use Blender like a monkey with a keyboard, I suspect, because I've just bruteforced through it, so I could probably use a tuneup from a good teacher on that haha. I hope this helps some, and sorry if I overstepped if I sound preachy.

tagged by @inkedroplets who tagged me in a few things now, and I forgot to answer some of them. Shame on me, but thanks for the tag, darling:)

1. What sort of content do you create, and what is the thing you’ve made that you’re most proud of?

I started with art, then began writing, then started animating, and recently uploaded a fanvid 😅

I'm proud of them all because they are all part of the progress 😌

2. What fandom(s) do you create for?

Supergirl. I'm counting my Sadie/Saskia vid as supercorp.

3. What is your current favourite ship (or brotp if you prefer), and how controversial is it?

Supercorp. And apparently a lot of people don't like them because they hated supergirl? (At least according to tumblr tags in polls. But those people also accuse them of being too straight...)

4. For your answer to question 3, are they canon?

They are in my heart. Also, I feel that their last conversation was as close to canon as they could get.

5. What was your first fandom, and how old were you?

I was deep into Harry Potter for a long while in my life. That's what got me into fanfiction and tumblr. I still have a sweet spot for what it represented to me in my childhood and the stuff I took away from it despite the actions of some extreme lady.

6. What is your most unhinged fandom creation to date?

My Twilight Au fic 🤣

Was written as a parody, but somehow ended up being way too wholesome.

The power of pasta is my one crack fic, so there's also that.

7. Do you remember what started you off creating fandom content, and if so, what was it?

I was an avid consumer for years, but it was all thanks to the Supergirl fandom that I dared to try and create something. I was in the process of coming out and accepting myself for who I am, which, despite being in a very open and accepting environment and family, was really hard on me. Both the show, and especially the fandom, were what helped me not only to come out but also to see it in a positive light. It made me understand the meaning of pride, and I am forever grateful for that. That's why I decided to dedicate my time to creating stuff myself as thanks to this amazing community and to do my best to keep it active.♥️

8. Do you let people you know in real life see your fandom creations?

Some, yes. I have a few friends who know I write, but had not read any of my stuff. I have a few I share my art with, though.

9. How do you feel about fanworks of fanworks? Has anyone ever made something based on a thing you made?

Someone wrote a fic based on my art a while ago, and I'm still excited about it!

10. What feeling do you most often try to evoke with your creations?

Depends on the content. Each piece has its own purpose. I try to aim for fluff, but I've been told I accidentally write a lot of angst... oops?

11. Has someone ever paid your work a compliment (in any form) that has stuck with you, and what was it?

I'm always excited when fandom friends tell me they like my stuff. Or just anyone in general. It just warms my heart.

12. What’s your favourite thing someone else has made that you’ve seen in the last 24 hours (and link it if you can find it again!)

Have you read the most recent space log update? It's pretty cool...

13. Give a small sneak preview of something you’re working on right now (eg a couple of sentences of fic from a WIP, a gif set theme, a small piece of a larger picture, whatever you feel happy to share)

"Alex, you're saying that as if we're not literally standing at the entrance of a school for fairies." Kara said as she rested her hand on the handle of her large blue suitcase.

"Fair point."

"It is ridiculous, isn't it? Like, fairy collage, it just sounds so…"

"Bizarre?" Alex raised an eyebrow as a small chuckle escaped her lips.

Kara sheepishly nodded.

"Well, yes. Very. But that's our lives now, I suppose," Alex shrugged and shoved her hands in her jeans's pockets.

"You mean my life. You're going to badass school for ass kicking," Kara teased her sister.

Because apparently I'm not done making AUs based on questionable IPs.

And a bit of my card game AU:

Lena was the one to drag Andea to sneak out of school for a change. Only unlike her best friend, Lena didn't drag her out to a party or to drink alcohol, but instead to the local game shop where she could learn more about that mysterious game. Andrea wasn't as excited as her, but reluctantly agreed (if only to get out of trigonometry class). Fight for Justice, while being a bit too cheesy, Lena couldn't deny the strange allure of the name. She was fascinated to learn the different ways the game could change from moment to moment, the various objectives one can approach to win the game, and she couldn't help but absolutely adore the art on each and every card.

14. Have you ever seen/read anything made by the person who tagged you? If so, what was it and what was your favourite thing about it? (pick a favourite if there are several)

Rich girl with issues is a masterpiece, and you should all go read it!

15. Do you leave comments on fandom works, and if so how would you describe your comment style?

I try to always comment, and especially on stuff I like. I don't think I have a specific style tho😅

16. How many works in progress do you currently have? Will you finish them all?

I have about 12 that I actively started, but more that are in the concept phase. Ideally, I'll finish them all eventually.

17. what’s the longest it’s ever taken you to finish a fandom project?

It's been almost 2 years since I started The Art Of The Game. I'm close to the end, but it's been a while...

18. Describe the thing you made most recently in a way that is technically true, but also completely misleading. Link the thing if it’s published!

The hottest new trailer for the film we all have been waiting for;)

19. Do you ever engage with fanworks for a fandom you’re not in? Which one(s) and how did you get into it?

I feel like a foreigner when I see stuff from other fandoms, and I usually don't know enough about it to interact with it.

20. Recommend a fan work from your fandom to your followers

@awaitingrain has some really amazing artwork with adorable chibi designs! I'd recommend checking out her stuff!

Suggested tag list, but there are no rules here, follow your heart.

@eqt-95 @fazedlight @autisticlenaluthor @snowydragonscave @missluthorwillseeyounow @luthordamnvers have fun;)

Online grimoire/journal, page No. 1 (probably more than that but its been years. Let's call it page one).

Getting to know my tarot deck/reintroducing myself to the community.

(In this post I write briefly about not feeling like I'm in tune with my practice, or myself at all, and then I get into my interview with my "new" tarot deck. If you just want to see the interview, keep scrolling until you see "The Interview". I think a more journal-style grimoire is the direction my posts might go. I don't see a lot of people talking about their shortcomings in this community, or maybe I just don't follow the right people who do. I used to be super active in this community, 1k followers who actually kind of cared and interacted with me on tumblr and discord. I did online readings, made posts about spells I've done, things like that. Well this isn't going to be like that. This is for me. If you feel as though you're lacking/want to get back into your practice, I feel the same. You can come with me on this journey and follow, or you can just read this and go about your day, or you can scroll right past it without giving it a thought, anything you choose to do is ok! I might share personal things on this blog. Not super personal, they will all be related to witchcraft, but instead of giving other's advice I'm going to be writing down my practices, tarot card readings, and everything else as a reference for myself. If that type of journey interests you, I implore you to give a follow and come along. Maybe if I know people are interested in that style of blog, it might motivate me to do it more lol. Thanks.)

I don't really read tarot...In fact I don't even think I can call myself a practicing witch. I've been on and off for just a little under a decade. Sounds like a long time when I say it like that, and I know so many things but I'm also still beginning my journey. CONSTANTLY beginning the same journey over and over again, it feels like.

Anyways, I got a new tarot deck probably two or three years ago...I actually got 3 new decks at the same time, and I've really only sort of used one. I've felt bad about it for a while. They just sit there collecting dust. For some reason, I was feeling drawn to this deck in particular and decided to go ahead and try my hand at getting to know the deck. Needless to say, it was a very insightful "interview" if you can even call it that. I wrote small passages in my notebook, but I wanted to type here to get my thoughts out. This might be long, you don't have to read it, I'm sort of more doing it for me...as a journal entry type thing I guess, but also as a reference to my interview with the deck so I have a more detailed version of it than just what's in my notebook. I just didn't want to use up more notebook that I needed to.

Before The Interview

Deck: The Antique Anatomy Tarot Deck

Why I bought it: I was intrigued by the name and the art style. It's beige which I like, and I love bones and antique type things so I figured hey why not.

Why I was drawn to it today: Recently I've been thinking about things I can do to help better myself. Growth wise. It's more about me and less about coming back into my practice. I have a couple decks that I thought about but none of them seemed right. Until, DUH! Antique Anatomy. It's literally focusing on the self, and not just the outer self but LITERALLY the inner self as well. That seemed helpful.

I started by cleansing it with incense smoke. I didn't do anything in particular, just held it over an incense stick that was already burning and talked to it a little.

Then, I looked at the cards. Actually looked at them. Took mental note of the colors being used, what bones were on which card, what the labels on the elixir cards said, what flowers were used in the art (if I was able to identify them by eye), how many of each flower/certain things were on the cards. I looked at EVERYTHING.

And Now, The Good Stuff. (there are 6 questions, in each one I'll include the card pulled, the zodiac sign/element related to it, numbers such as the number of the card or how many of a specific thing were on the card, and colors used on the card. I'll include key words that relate to all of those things, and then lastly I'll include my interpretation for each one.)

The Interview

Please Introduce Yourself.

Death: Scorpio - 3 - 4 - 6 - Red - Black

Key words: Stability, fairness, solution, growth, regeneration, passion, love, power, pain, necessary, emotional.

My interpretation: When I flipped the card, I literally said "how did I know it was going to be death?". I was thinking it to myself as a joke, but then I flipped it and BOOM. Death. That's alright, though. Also I find it interesting the deck showed me a Scorpio card as an introduction. I'm a Virgo, and I love/hate Scorpios. They have taught me so much, some have damaged me, some have loved me endlessly, and currently I'm in a relationship with a Scorpio. Very prevalent sign in my life. I think by introducing itself with this card, it's telling me that it is an emotional and powerful deck. It sees itself as necessary, powerful, un-biased, but at the same time also very passionate, loving, and may even acknowledge that it might sometimes tell me things I don't want to hear. It also seems to be good at helping people explore their shadow, which is interesting because that's actually something I've been doing recently, witchcraft aside.

2. What are your strengths?

7 of Rods: Fire - 5 - 7 - Yellow - Orange

Key words: Evaluation, patience, conflict, perspective, determined, optimistic, growth, success, does not give up in the face of adversity, experienced warrior.

My interpretation: By showing me the 7 of rods in response to what the deck's strengths are, I think it's telling me that it's main strengths are focused around personal growth, which I guess makes sense. It's telling me that no matter how hard it gets, or how often or little I use it, it has the patience and determination to still help me through whatever I may need guidance on. That's very kind, thank you deck. It's also telling me that it knows and has seen a lot, which I don't doubt at all. By just sitting on my shelves, it has seen me through heartache, love, sickness, new jobs, new homes, depression, happiness, tears I've cried and why I've cried them, it has seen every part of me. It has perspective that maybe I don't, and it's optimistic that we can work together to better myself.

3. What are your limitations?

Strength: Leo - 6 - 8 - Red

Key words: Control, artistic expression, ego, anger, passion, values, understanding, calm demeanor, quiet resolve, understanding.

My interpretation: Okay this one was really interesting and sort of seems like the deck pulled a "my biggest weakness is that I'm too passionate about my work!" on me, but let's see if I can make some sense out of it. By showing me Strength in response to what the deck's limitations are, I believe it's trying to tell me that it does find itself a little big-headed or mainstream in a sense. Just looking at the key word "artistic expression" makes me think it's telling me to try to look further than just the colors and numbers on the cards, because maybe what the artist is trying to express isn't precisely going to align with what I need to hear, but the deck can't express that? Some other limitations it may be trying to express is that it's not going to be quiet about things. Besides maybe sometimes having to dig past the art for guidance, it's not going to sugarcoat or hold my hand. As much as it will support and have patience for me, that doesn't mean it's going to baby me. I appreciate that.

4. What can I learn from you?

Page of Coins: Earth - 6 - Blue - Purple

Key words: Fairness, values, orderly, determined, calm, peace, grief, sadness, prophecy, dreams, high power, studious, diligent, introvert, misses out on lighthearted aspects of life, buckle down, study, money, creativity.

My interpretation: I think by showing me the page of coins in response to what I can learn from the deck, it's telling me that I can learn how to be more in tune with myself, emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. It's telling me that I can learn to dig into myself (and perhaps my shadow?) to find out more about myself. It's telling me it can show me how to interpret my dreams better, it can help me stay more focused, and potentially even help me connect with a something higher than myself again. All of this seems essential for my own personal growth, and if I can learn that from this deck then I would love to work more with it.

5. What is the best way to work with you?

2 of Coins: Earth - 2 - Yellow - Purple

Key words: Balance, duality, opposing forces, orderly, determined, optimism, growth, prophecy, dreams, higher power, harmony, over-indulgence, stagnant, creative solutions.

My interpretation: By showing me the 2 of coins in response to the best way to work with the deck, I think it's telling me a couple ways, both deck and user focused. One thing it's telling me is that it might work better with a higher power also helping? I don't exactly have one I guess...I love Aphrodite and have had altars for her in the past, and still consider her my patron Goddess but it's been so long. I'd have to rekindle that relationship and I don't know if I'm ready for that right now. It also seems to be telling me that it can work better by helping interpret my dreams, too? I've never considered using a tarot deck as a dream interpreter, but I do get prophetic dreams in a sense and I take my dreams very seriously, so maybe that's something to consider. I think it's also telling me that the best way to work with it is to stop over indulging myself in things that aren't good for my mental or physical health, which makes sense. How can one effectively get guidance when they aren't in the right state of mind or physical well-being? All in all, I think that the most important thing it's trying to tell me is that no matter what I may or may not do, we can work well together if I stay optimistic and determined to grow. If I ever stop having the motivation to better myself, then it doesn't think it can do much for me.

6. What is the outcome of our relationship?

Knight of Elixirs: Water - 4 - Purple

Key words: Stability, foundation, nurturing, caring, mystery, prophecy, dreams, high power, luxury, expansion, growth, loving, appreciate beautiful things, affectionate disposition, finding ideal partner.

My interpretation: By showing me this card in response to the outcome of our relationship, I think it's telling me that I'll be able to have a little bit more routine and stability in my everyday life. I think it's also telling me I'll be able to connect with my subconscious mind more, as well as my softer emotions such as nurturing, caring, and loving. It can help me appreciate smaller things in life instead of always looking at the bigger picture. By "finding the ideal partner" I think the deck means that it can help me find things in everyday life that will help with my personal growth. Ideal things to interact with and love besides literally the people and animals I love.

Very insightful. If you got through this whole thing, thanks for reading. I'm going to post a bit more frequently and hopefully that will actually help me gain the motivation to do this stuff more than just once every 6 months. I think it's essential for my personal growth, and for some reason I'm really obsessed with that right now but I lack the time and motivation. I don't actually lack time, but things are hard when you wake up late and you feel like every day is sleep, work, maybe eat, sleep, repeat. Here's to hoping this is the beginning of a new chapter for me.

The Pi's gone bad...

TL;DR: Raspberry Pi showcased police surveillance and police activity in a positive light. And that makes the Bit upsetti spaghetti. ------------------------------------ I don't know how many people on Tumblr are into geeky computer tech, but I felt like making a blog post to vent my frustrations about a recent goings-on. There's a company called Raspberry Pi that's been around since 2011 (with early development of Raspberry Pi starting around 2006). They're known for making small micro-computers the size of a credit card. It was originally an education initiative to get kids interested in coding. These computers run Linux, have a variety of ports for various uses and flexibility, and have a very low introductory cost. They've been utilized in all sorts of places. -Hobbyists used them in custom builds for robotics and automation. -Coders have used them to create all sorts of programs that help with entertainment, productivity, internet security, etc. -Educators have used them to help teach the fundamentals of Linux to students. It's a group and product that I've supported for a long time.

WELL, on December 8th, Raspberry Pi made a news post on their site announcing that they've hired a new person. Which is totally fine. It's good to see company growth. Only, this person was an ex-policeman in the UK surveillance division.

In the interview for the article, this ex-policeman said: “I used to be a police officer tackling serious organised crime and terror threats across the east of the UK. I was a Technical Surveillance Officer for 15 years, so I built stuff to hide video, audio, and other covert gear. You really don’t want your sensitive police equipment discovered, so I’d disguise it as something else. The variety of tools and equipment I used then really shaped what I do today.” "I started playing with Raspberry Pi hardware at home around the same time I started using Linux at work. I have used Raspberry Pi a lot in various police tactics over the years. They were dependable, low-cost, portable, and supported by such an awesome community. I tried almost every ‘fruit-based’ single-board computer out there, but I always came back to Raspberry Pi." Now, I don't blame Raspberry Pi for their computers being used as surveillance devices. It's a very open-source type of device. People are gonna get ideas. And sadly, using a micro-computer for this kind of job makes sense. HOWEVER, Raspberry Pi have full control over who they choose to hire. AND they have full control over what they choose to post to their website. If this hire and this information are things that they are happy to showcase to the world, I can't interpret this any other way than them endorsing their product for secret surveillance. Others saw it the exact same way. People went to the replies on Twitter and Mastodon to voice their concerns. But the social media manager chose to start blocking and hiding posts from people that were talking negatively about the ex-policeman and/or the article. To be fair, there were a LOT of hateful and trollish posts. And I DO NOT in any way support the harassment of anyone. Still it's not a good look to silence criticism on something so potentially contentious. It's ESPECIALLY not wise to word your replies to these comments in a dismissive and antagonistic way.

I don't know if they're still blocking people and hiding comments at this point. There seem to be plenty of angry comments left under their Twitter post. So I'm gonna guess they decided it wasn't worth trying to fight. On top of this issue, people continue to point out that it's legendarily difficult to purchase a new Raspberry Pi computer nowadays. The retailers that sell individual units can't seem to keep steady stock. This means that you either have to be VERY lucky when a supply drop happens, or you have to buy one of the scalped units being sold on either eBay or Amazon. The deluxe model is routinely sold for twice it's normal price.

That being said, if you're a business and want to buy a bulk shipment of Pi computers, that option is still readily available. Seems like the Pi company is more than happy to move inventory around if it means getting bulk batches out the door for businesses that want to stick Pi computers in random things (whether it be service devices or consumer products). And that's who I think Raspberry Pi's current REAL customers are: big businesses with big pockets. I don't completely believe that they hired this ex-policeman for the sole purpose of pushing the idea of using Pi computers in covert surveillance to law enforcement. That hinges on conspiracy talk. But I DO have a suspicion that someone in the marketing department saw the opportunity. The interview at times has an ere of advertisement. It puts Raspberry Pi computers in a position of looking like the perfect solution for police equipment. This is all my own interpretation. I can't really know 100% what their intentions were with this. I could be completely off on my assumptions, and they could turn around and say that it was a complete misfire on the PR side of things. What I do know is that I am now much more wary about Raspberry Pi. I once had interest in seeing how their newer units performed. But now I can't in good conscious hand my money over. I'm a major advocate of only allowing the police what they need within reason. And surveillance like this steps over that boundary. I was one of the first people who ordered the OG Raspberry Pi. I have great memories of learning Linux and tinkering around with it. It's one of the big reasons why I'm so interested in Linux today. I hope the Raspberry Pi company takes a minute to remember where they started. To remember their original goal. Making learning and computing accessible to all.

Why making any concessions to puritan rhetoric is a bad idea

(note for the uninitiated: 'anti' is short for 'anti-shipper', 'anti-ship', or 'anti-fan'; in this context it refers to people who get very vocally militant about opposing dark kinks/problematic ships in media, especially creative fandom spaces. Proship is simply the opposite, people who vocally believe people should be free to make/indulge in whatever as long as a line is drawn between fiction and reality.)

(note 2: this was written for cohost, i cbf rewording it lol)

I very often see people - both websites and individuals - making a concession to the people who come up to them yelling about problematic kinks and guilt by association and 'why didn't you block this person' blah blah blah. It's happened with a few BNFs (big-name fans) in the UTDR scene lately, I've seen it from artists I respect, from friends, hell I used to be in this camp myself. And, of course, it happened to this website about a year back, and the conversation has come up again recently due yet another tumblr exodus.

It makes sense. The most common stuff that antis go after is stuff very few people are into: lolisho/cub, ferals, heavy gore, heavy noncon. It's niche, the real-world applications are unquestionably vile, it's very easy to just say 'I also find this icky regardless of whether I really believe that all people into it are secret criminals, so, I'll just block the people who they say are bad and move on.' I can't tell you the amount of times I've seen someone respond to proship/antiship discourse with "I'm an adult with a job." Going to bat for this content is high risk, low reward. You're not going to make friends, you're going to lose them. YOU WILL LOSE SUBSCRIBER, etc. As a result of all this it's very easy to assume that anyone defending it must be into it.

But I'm not. I'm a writer who often deals with darker subjects, but most of the first-on-the-list anti stuff, I'm not into at all. I'm not into ferals or gore period, noncon I like purely as character exploration, lolisho I can enjoy from the perspective of what I call 'trauma repair.' There's probably a proper term for it. But the tl;dr is I've never been actively aroused by any of these things, not in fantasy and especially not otherwise. Whenever I write them, it's just fascination or character analysis. Whenever I have a 'this character can be any age you want' fic, in my head, they're 18+. Writing noncon is a weird challenge for me because I'm constantly battling with the alternate ending in my head where the victim breaks free, beats the shit out of their captor, etc. This isn't me trying to claim virtue through this, just stating my position.

So… Why do I go to bat for these things? Why do I get annoyed when websites block lolisho, when artists have 'proship DNI' in their bio, etc? It's lost me a couple friends, it's certainly cost me followers and general reach, it's gotten me blocked by countless people I respected the work of. It's earned me a few callout posts, multiple with 1k+ followers, and one particular obsessed stalker who tells anyone who will listen that I actually groomed a child (despite all evidence otherwise). It's caused me a really significant amount of trouble. Why die on this hill?

The answer's kind of simple, when you boil it down: fictional fantasies either affect reality, or they don't. This is why I go to bat for things I'm not into, but it's also why whenever you see someone making concessions to antis, it's never enough. Cohost banned lolisho last year (I believe it's still banned?? Unclear), but the antis still make constant callout posts about this site and its owners. Some of the team have even gone out of their way to state very firmly that they're against these things, they've gone above and beyond just 'ban the bad thing' and broadcast their views about the morality of it. You'll frequently see artists write some huge apology or clarification when a callout post hits, usually involving some variation of 'I do not condone x y z and think it's disgusting.'

It's never enough.

But it makes sense, when you think about it. By drawing a line, you have essentially agreed with the core angle of the people screaming at you: that a fictional fantasy affects reality. That it's dangerous. You will, by necessity, now have people start to work down the list. Incest, ferals, gore, noncon, sure. Any relationship with any kind of skewed power dynamic. Sibling-coded, minor-coded, postminor nonsense. All of these things are less easily agreed to than lolisho, I've seen countless porn artists concede with the core idea that lolisho is immoral, then they act like it's unreasonable that people just keep going until they're being told that a knot on a furry is bestiality, or a 23 year old dating an autistic 21 year old is pedophilia. These are genuine examples of things I've seen people dogpiled for. Seriously look up "postminor" if you want to see how bad this can get, on top of being absurd it's one-for-one the kind of gross ableist shit that Autism Speaks gets into.

But YOU AGREED TO THEM. You agreed with the core concept, that the fantasy must reflect reality. Of course they're going to keep demanding more; by the logic you used to agree with them, you are doing immoral things. If fictional lolisho is immoral, so are the rest of them. It's way easier to look at your average pic on baraag or inkbunny and go 'oh, eugh, vile,' but at the end of the day the cutesy played-for-laughs sleeping kiss, the dubcon bondage that you don't call dubcon, or the meet-cute where they're a bit too drunk, they're all immoral fantasies.

That's not even to get into non-sexual stuff. If the lolisho fantasy is wrong, so is running down civilians in GTA. Suddenly your notifs are full of 16 year-old Jack Thompsons with rainbow flags in their bios.

This really is an all-or-nothing debate. If fictional fantasies affect reality, then even the immoral fantasies that you're personally comfortable with, the cutesy coy playful ones, must be immoral. If fictional fantasies don't affect reality, then even the ones that make you uncomfortable, the ones that have you scrambling to close your browser in case the feds are looking, must be fine.

It should have become very obvious over the last decade that you cannot fence-sit on this. There's a huge internal disagreement going on among progressive/queer/compassion-minded people, on whether these kind of things affect reality, or whether they don't. You can learn to apathetically dismiss stuff that squicks you, or you can learn to sanitize everything you ever make so there's not a trace of contentious theming left. Immoral fantasies are immoral, or only immoral actions are immoral.

You're going to have to pick one.

AITA for not letting an autistic kid join my group?

Okaayy this requires a LOT of backstory so bear with me on this.

I am 16F and the kid in question is 16M. I shall call him Tyler. I've known Tyler for like 3 years, never really been friends with him but he has been in my classes many times. Tyler is very blatantly autistic, which means it's very easy for people to pick on him. Other kids will be dicks to him and rile him up because they think it's funny. I am also nd but am quite good at masking so I don't get picked on but I am still a loner. Y'know the stereotypical quiet kid. Last detail to note about Tyler, he never does any of the classwork. Every time I have been in class with him he has just watched youtube on his laptop and will not do the work unless a teacher forces him to. This is important to note for my first major encounter with Tyler when I was 13.

There was a group project and everyone had to pick a partner to do a presentation, standard school stuff you get the gist. Me and Tyler ended up being the last ones left so we got paired together. The problem was that he did not pull his own weight. I had to sit with him and slowly walk him through the stuff we had to do for the project. Then I told him I would do X part of the project and he would do Y part of the project. He agreed and I went to work on it. The next day I asked if he had done anything, he hadn't. I sympathized with this because I also have executive dysfunction and very much struggle with completing things so I told him it was fine, he just had to work on it today and to send it to me once he was done. So I got home and waited for him to send me his part of the project but of course, it never came. So I ended up having to do literally EVERYTHING myself at the last minute. I went to the computer room to finish it at break time and lo and behold who do I see but Tyler in the computer room watching youtube. I gave him a firm telling off because I was hella pissed that while I was stressing out trying to do a group project by myself he was doing fuck all. He obviously felt bad but I was still rather pissed. So on the day of the presentation I did something admittedly very petty in that I forced him to do his part in the presentation despite him never seeing the presentation before. So he obviously struggled a lot. But that was that and I was quite certain I didn't want to work with him again. Flash forwards a bit, he tries to sit with me. I don't want to be an ass so I let him. The thing is that he was completely clueless about all the work so I ended up having to be like a surrogate teacher, walking him through everything. Again. The thing is, I couldn't get my own work done if I was stuck being Tyler's tutor. I was like "Fuck this. I'm not his teacher! I'm not even getting paid for this!!" So I started actively avoiding sitting with him so I could actually get shit done and he seemed to get the hint.

Now, to the present. He happens to be in the same class as me and asked if he could be in my group and I ignored him. I felt bad about it but I did not want to be handholding this kid. He seems to be actively trying to get my attention and trying to interact with me but I am just not interested. Especially since he seems to think that doing things like flicking water at me or slamming doors in my face is a good way to get my attention. I've tried to make it very clear I don't like this behaviour but he keeps doing it. In the most recent incident he randomly poked my back when I was crouching down to pick something up. I really hate being touched so I snapped at him but I feel guilty about it now. I feel like I could've handled it better because he clearly doesn't pick up emotional cues very well. And clearly he's just lonely, which I get but I feel he burnt this bridge a while ago and is just blasting the remains with a flamethrower.

So tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

So I had a really bad dream today.

Going through tags about yourself is always kinda weird, but. It's meloncholy when the blog people are talking about isn't really around anymore. By your own choices but. The memories attached to it are then kind of flitty and detached because of that. Like you don't think about them anymore.

I saw posts where people were talking about me and like, sad that it seemed I was gone. Wondering what had happened or if I was still active somewhere.

I've gotten sentiments like that before. But like... usually it was asks sent to me, or thing directly from friends who said they missed my art. It's appreciated, and still baffling, but I guess that can feel kind of put-on for my feelings compared to... making a post talking about me, thinking I'll never see it. Making that post and like.... missing me in it. Talking about me nicely.

I've never experienced that feeling before. That like... true sweetness and appreciation and humbling kindness.

I'm thinking maybe a lot of people feel that way about my blog. Thinking about me on occasion and wondering what happened, or where I am. Not because they think I died or something but, because they liked me.

I always wanted to leave a mark on this community. By that I mean like, general tumblr but also specifically the ego fandom. A huge part of the reason I left is because from my perspective people weren't really digging what i was making. Maybe I felt i was an unpopular artist in the community, or that my work was kind of unliked compared to others. I felt constantly that I was making things that I loved and was super excited about, but people around me were never as excited, and didn't really care about the things I made. (And yk, to clarify, i felt like that looked bad on *me* not the people looking at my stuff)

I think the ego/mark fandom is generally less to actually interact with content or the people making it, ((at least compared to the other fandoms I've been in.)) I didn't know about the possible differences when I joined, so I just saw people not engagin with my art in the way I wanted and I assumed my art just suddenly wasnt enjoyed anymore.

I wanted to make a mark. All the art that I made, for me was about expanding on the stories and ideas about characters I loved. I wanted so badly for those ideas to be shared and talked about and remembered. Like I was a part of something. Egos was likr one of the first fandoms i ever joined that wasnt already "over".

When I left I really wanted to dissipear. I was in a very bad place for a lot of reasons but mainly i was upset and flustered and I wanted to get away from the blog because the size it had gotten to really scared me and made me anxious. I was having trouble motivating myself to create and I feel like there was a lot of resentment over my art that I now feel guilty for.

I felt at the time like dissipearing was impossible. Like this blog would somehow always follow me? I also thought that pretty much no one would care. That they would miss the art i drew but not me, like no one would care if it wasn't about the Content. But I'm m realizing. Maybe I really did dissipear. Maybe people wondered where I went. Maybe I just dropped off the map, completely went away, like I wanted to, but... maybe not everyone just ignored it, didnt notice or didnt care like I expected.

I've been going back and reading stuff about camp UA, how I apparently brought so many kids and people together and. At the time I didnt notice. I remember people telling me that, butbit never actually sunk in. It felt fake, like just nixe words. There were people asking about me after I left, sad I wasn't around. Friends lately started to tell me recently that from their perspectivesl I was really well loved in the fandom, that I was extremely popular even though at the time I didn't feel like it at all. Seeing things occasionally about my curly haired yancy or my trans abe etc and. People still recognizing i influenced these things, seeing my joys and my ideas still circulate, even though I felt like I had made no fandom impact at all. Even if its small it's there. And combining all of these things...

I don't know. It's really nice. Now that I have some distance, to actually view the things I did and see the influence maybe I didn't realize I had. To see actual good things that came out of my blog. People...cared? Maybe they always cared and I just didn't have the perspective to recognize it. Like...joy that I've caused people. People calling my queer posts "classics", or that they made them feel good in their identity. People referencing specific ego posts i made, people missing me and wondering where I'd gone. People in old posts mentioning me by name, like I was a recognizable friend of the "family". People clearly...liking me. I don't know. Caring? Seeing me as me and not just an art funnel. I never felt that way while I was making art. I feel now like I had so many blindspots while I was running this blog and I'm not even sure why.

It feels incredibly selfish, to be honest. Super high and mighty and self aggrandizing that I'm saying all this. like..."ohhh i didn't get the response i wannnted :( and that made me saaaddd :((((" like, I don't deserve any specific treatment. I'm not "owed" any response from people. I'm not even owed recognition after the fact. I'm not owed care or interest or any of this.

...but still people care, they liked me? Maybe I did add to the community? Maybe I made things and posts that braught people together and had community effects, that people had fun and got excited over the things that i made...? Even if it was things i didnt intend, or in a way I never intended.

It makes me miss it, you know. It makes me feel, it makes y heart swim with kindness and appreciation and gratitude and LOVE and. Everything everything. It makes me teary eyed, heart full to bursting alone in my room, completely pathetically. I shared things, maybe. Things that maybe meant something. And people cared? Some of them, at least? A few people were effected, really? A place that caused me so much strong anxiety a year+ ago but. I still do miss it. People are so nice. And for what? Why do I deserve it? Everyone's so nice. The blogs i saw over and over, my friends and mutuals in the community, that I never talked to because I was small and a freak and anxious and too self concious about myself. They were so nice. People are so, so nice.

Thank you to anyone at all that ever did that for me? That asked about me after I was gone, that left me sweet messaged or comments, joined in on some thing i was doing for fun, made art of my posts, told me that i braught you joy. Connected with me. Or tried. I love you.

Idk im a weird fuckin. Emotional sap and also I gotta tell you I'm sick and haven't slept in like 13 hours so. Sorry for random long posts on ur dashboard I'm extremely sensitive.

Maybe I'll link to some other blog where I'm making art someday. Idk. I just miss the nice people in the community and the connection and. I wanted to thank you. I hope i did make an impact. At least a little.. I really really hope I did

in which i tell you to go watch weak hero: class one

it's me, hi, i'm the problem (here to recommend yet another drama), it's me. it's a good one, though, i'm serious.

so you know how you watch one drama that comes absolutely out of nowhere and makes you feel like you're seeing colors only shrimp can see? and you know how you're like, yeah, that experience is not gonna repeat any time soon, except then it does, and you end up writing 35k in a month like a woman possessed because the story just won't let you go? anyway, this is how we got here with weak hero class 1.

to be completely honest, prior to watching this drama, i'd thought i was largely done with enjoying stuff set in high school (notable exceptions apply!). i have not been in high school for a… number of years, and these days i'm just less likely to reach for high school-set fiction (though, again, if the story is good, i don't care what the setting is). but then a lovely anon on tumblr pointed me to this drama, so i checked out the premise, thought, "hm, maybe when i'm in the mood," and left it alone. turns out, i got in the mood pretty soon, and what i've ended up with are two separate fandoms which are simultaneously eating my brain. i don't know if i'd actively recommend this as an experience, because i'm pretty sure it's illegal to have so many feelings at the same time, but i'm not complaining, either.

more to the point, if you've seen me yelling about this drama here or on twitter, just know that when i say this was, in a surprising twist of events, my favorite drama that came out in 2022, i'm not exaggerating. i was not prepared for the absolute emotional punch that it delivered, and i was definitely not prepared to adopt two new boys to cry over. if you've seen and loved school 2013, this is, imo, required viewing. the emotions that weak hero gave me were the exact same kind i felt while watching school 2013, and truly, namsoon and heungsoo walked so suho and sieun could run.

apart from all the other things to recommend it, i feel like it captures the fraught transitional period of adolescence so, so well, without resorting to cliche or trite messages. quite the opposite, it's absolutely unflinching in dissecting all the ways in which teenagers are failed by the systems and people supposed to protect and care for them, and how, in many cases, what's left when all of that is gone is the last resort of violence.

and this is, without a doubt, a violent drama, but while the violence thrums in its veins, it doesn't at any point feel gratuitous or titillating. it's raw and honest, while at the same time the fight choreography is really well done and, at times, pretty unusual (if you've ever wanted to see conditioning done with a pen, look no further).

this drama doesn't waste even a second of its 8-episode run. it's tightly plotted and well-paced, but at the same time it's so, so good at working with stillness and silence - with all those moments of anticipation before the violence breaks out. i don't remember the last time i felt so tense (in the best possible way) while watching television - and it just builds and builds throughout the season, making the sense of dread palpable. this is accompanied by a very good score and some really neat cinematography.

what really makes this drama, though, are the performances. the three leads are, frankly, phenomenal and the actors deserve all the praise. park jihoon is amazing as yeon sieun, an exemplary student with neglectful parents who one day snaps when his bullies go a step too far. i've enjoyed choi hyunwook in everything i've seen him in, and this one is no different, because his ahn suho is one of my favorite fictional characters of recent years. he's so good in this role, and his chemistry with park jihoon is sizzling. i'm just saying, there's a reason why google autocompletes "is weak hero class one" with "a bl", and you know what, it should have been. all of their interactions sparkle (just like sieun's enormous eyes), and their dynamic is just so much fun. the fact that suho keeps looking at sieun like he wants to lick him and keeps calling him cute and taking him on scooter rides/dates also helps. and then there's hong kyung who gives a wonderfully nuanced performance as oh beomseok and carries that energy through all the way to the end. but it doesn't end there! the supporting cast is also excellent, with such standouts as lee yeon as youngyi or shin seungho as seokdae.

honestly, i've had so much luck recently with some truly excellent dramas, but even among those, whc1 is a definitive standout. it doesn't pull its punches, and it's so effective at getting its themes across, and i need season 2 right about NOW.

now, to leave you with something more than just my words, here's a masterclass in establishing a character in ~3 minutes (or: the meet-cute/meet-violent): link

I've only been on newgrounds recently but it seems ok and I haven't seen people say anything bad about it, what's rancid there that I haven't seen yet? Also what is this new cohost site everyone is talking about? I can't tell if it's more like twitter or tumblr, or if it's gonna be like pillowfort where everyone forgets about it eventually

i am 28 years old and used to go on newgrounds every day in middle and high school and i have no desire to do so anymore. you're allowed to use it. many people do. i know the type of Big Name Internet Personality that comes from newgrounds, the kind of people who never quite outgrew their south park phase, and that's not the crowd i like to hang around. i also think that so many nsfw artists moving there after the tumblr porn ban is foolish when everyone knows the userbase of newgrounds is mostly teenage boys. and frankly, as an artist, i hate that it still runs on having people write 1- to 5-star reviews on your submissions. i do not need to see that one drawing of mine got 4.55 stars while another got 4.6. that is meaningless to me

cohost is being pitched as a place for twitter refugees to go right now because of the musk buyout and because most users heard about it via leftist twitter, but it isn't really designed to be a replacement for twitter. it was designed to be a "fourth website" - a low-pressure, slower-paced, more chill site with no algorithm and no ads that you can check from time to time on top of the sites you already use, with a layout inspired mainly by tumblr. it reinforces this vibe by hiding most stats from view. follower counts are hidden like on here, but so are note counts, with the only visible stat being the number of comments on a post so that you can tell if someone added a new one. you aren't encouraged to constantly refresh to watch the numbers go up, there are no trending topics, there's no endless scrolling, you can just post and share what you want to and check up on it at a couple times every day

the staff also understands how people actually use these sites in practice and how certain features shape user behavior, so it cuts down on features that end up being tools for harassment. there are no quote tweets, just tumblr-style reblog comments and replies. people can't @ you randomly to put unhinged shit in your notifications. people can't dig through your likes for dirt. the search feature only lets you search tags, not post body content, so there are no term searchers. there's currently no ask box or DMs. (i enjoy answering tumblr asks, but it'd be insane to deny how much they've been used for harassment throughout the history of this site)

i'm not the most active on there currently, but it's refreshing imo. it's small scale, but that's the point, and it's already developing a culture of its own. for example, they let you put custom css and scripting in your posts (within reason), so people do wacky stuff like making the text go diagonal or putting a playable game of minesweeper in the post. this has been described as a "cambrian explosion of posting" that imo helps elevate it beyond the many attempts at Tumblr 2.0

Hi there! I saw that you commented that the Japanese and Korean parts of the KnB fandom are still really active on Twitter - I was wondering if you had some hashtags / accounts on there to recommend to get started? I recently got back into KnB after years and have been so dejected at the lack of content (that I can find). Thank you so much for your time and help!

Of course, i'll be delighted to share them with you !

Little tip, if you follow several of them, you can be sure to discover new KnB artists every week thanks to the fanarts they retweet ! And I've probably forgotten a lot of those I follow.

Warning to anyone reading this : DON'T REPOST THEIR ART ANYWHERE ! Some people on Tumblr feel a little too comfortable reposting fanart on their blog, without the artists' permission and without giving credit. You must do both to be allowed to repost someone else's creation. And most of them don't speak English, so it won't be possible.

I'm on a crusade against art thefts i hate them so much you can't imagine.

Many artists delete their accounts and stop posting their works online when they notice it has been reposted. So if your morale isn't enough to stop you, remember that.

Now the fun stuff !

Links to their twitter accounts and some infos on what they draw the most. Personally, while I have a few favorite ships, none of them bother me and I love seeing new fanart, regardless of the ship featured. But if some of them aren't your cup of tea they'll be easier to avoid with the infos i added. Plus, I'm bad at organizing, so it's messy but it still took me waaay too long so I don't have the energy to change it.

NijiAka

m_wmin : Mostly Nijimura, Haizaki & Akashi. Also a lot of NijiAka and some NijiHai I'm in love with their artstyle i could cry looking at it

PG173AB : NijiAka, Akashi and Nijimura. Their art is beautiful and they post so often, So shiny and pretty <3 <3 <3

hhcf060419 : MayuAka, NijiAka, NijiAkaMayu, Their art is soooooo adorable

ninama_ak : NijiAka, MayuAka, NashAka

kasuge

MidoTaka

te_01r

mny__0

Tmr_yzr

0r0r_0r0r

an92679738

OhAasaNANO

yu_zu_cka : MidoTaka MuraHimu

moisama23

Mostly 1 character but they draw everyone

AKAXKB : Akashi

puyn888 : Shutoku

eijo_q : Aomine

1223_cbf : Akashi

omotikonetemasu : HAIZAKI ! No joke this is probably Haizaki N°1 fan and their art is so beautiful (also NijiHai)

kaiak425 : Akashi

qhshqhd : Akashi

TT_am618 : Kuroko

frappuccino_168 : Kuroko

P1EAS3 : Everyone, moslty GoM

hibi_krbs : Kise

kiriri_prsk : Akashi & Kuroko

otya_11071 : Kuroko, Kise and Akashi

14lumlum : Akashi

pipimo_m : Murasakibara & Kuroko

Akakuro

dazeee749

Vanilla_kurx17

home_otonari

inutaro63

SpearMint1412

MayuAka

Rouns_

kamiyama08k

mizunoseam

otasa_1203

cNsDSS5UY8vZlWd

Others

kur0413 : NijiHai

zncjo : KagaKuro

shi___o__ra3 : MuraHimu

chiyo_mr : AkaFuri

capGcap : KiKasa

ki_chiaa2 : Izuki & Hayama (HayaIzu ? IzuHaya ? IzuKota ? i don't know their ship name sorry, but the art is gorgeous)

gami_zm : Kagakuro