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amlovelies · 3 years

Text

a discovery

chapter 14 of Just Another Liability

pairing: mason/f!oc (Serena Willis)

warnings: some angst and cursing. mention of childhood neglect/abandonment issues

words: 3k (I know! this is the longest installment I’ve written by far)

read on ao3

I wasn’t given a choice in the matter. Agent Greene needed me to meet her at the Warehouse, and by the tone of her voice I knew better than to argue. I could refuse to go, but part of me is nervous. I can’t think what would be so important.

The drive back to Wayhaven is stressful. It’s my first time returning, and I don’t know the roads very well. At least it gives me something to focus on. Something besides the gnawing worry about seeing Mason. It took me too long to decide what to wear and I’m sure Agent Greene will be pissed when I show up. I probably shouldn’t have taken the time to apply a little eyeliner and mascara, but I had to.

I need some sort of armor.

I waste even more time at the front door. Everything looks the same. It’s strange to think it’s been almost a month since I was here last.

They’re probably all in the living room; I move through the labyrinthian hallway on autopilot trying to focus more on what could be so important to have me come out here rather than seeing Mason. I mean really, I need to get it together and get my priorities straight.

Besides I should be used to people not loving me. My mom made it clear how much I ruined her life. My dad didn’t even care that I was born. On the scale of things, my fuck buddy not catching feels isn’t that big a deal.

Except it feels like a huge fucking deal when I turn the corner and find him walking towards me.

“Shit.” I feel my heart drop to my stomach. I think this is the first time we’ve been alone together since that night. I feel his eyes sweep over me and I’m glad I took the extra time to get ready.

“Took you long enough, swe—” he stumbles over the word. We both know what he was going to say. “Everyone’s waiting on you.”

“Yeah, well it’s not like I was given much of a heads up. Just a cryptic fucking call. I do have my own life you know.” That’s not exactly true. I worked a few days a week at an agency dispensary for supernaturals in the area, and while I was on friendly terms with the coworkers there, I didn’t have any social life to speak off. The most exciting thing on my calendar would be my bi-weekly visits to the facility to use their training room.

He shrugs, “that’s the agency for you.”

“Let’s just get this over with,” I won’t let myself meet his eyes as I move to walk past him.

He falls into step alongside me. Once or twice our arms brush, and I my skin itches with the proximity. I don’t know if he’s trying to put me at ease, to show me that everything can be normal, but it’s having the opposite effect. Which he probably knows because of his stupid vampire super senses. With any luck he’ll think I’m just nervous about his meeting. Sure, let’s go with that.

I enter the room first, and walk towards what used to be my usual chair.

“How nice of you to make sure Serena didn’t get lost in her old home,” Farah quips and I hear a low growl from Mason in response.

Please don’t let her be like that through this whole meeting.

Everyone is in their familiar places spread out across the room, but there’s a tension in the room I don’t recognize. It’s then that I notice the vaguely familiar looking man standing off to the side. He looks uncomfortable, always shifting his weight from side to side.

“So, what’s so important that I needed to come down here,” I ask as I settle into the chair. Out of the corner of my eye I can see where Mason has perched himself against one of the side tables. I’m torn between my desire to ignore him, to put a brave face on it, and my need to drink in the sight of him. To memorize the placement of every freckle on his face for my lonely days back in the city, but I won’t do that because that would be pathetic.

Dinah speaks first, “it’s my fault, Serena. I told Agent Greene we couldn’t continue without you here. This concerns you too.”

“As you know we took samples and did extensive testing when you first arrived here,” Agent Greene interjects and I stiffen in anticipation for what will come next. Is there something wrong with me?

“Well, that’s ominous. What do I have cancer or something?”

“No, no I can assure you that you are in perfect health,” the man speaks up. “You may not remember me, but I assisted with some of the testing when you first arrived at the facility.

“Dr. Franks also did extensive testing on me,” Dinah says from where she is seated next to Nate. She’s on the edge of her seat. Elbows resting on her knees and staring at me so intently I almost wonder if I have something on my face.

“I thank you both for your cooperation,” the man says before turning to face me. “It’s specially exciting to get to meet the first arrival from a new portal.”

A scoff from Dinah interrupts him and I see Agent Greene stiffen.

“Okay so I’m not about to drop dead, good to know, but that still doesn’t explain what’s going on.”

“Dr. Franks, noticed a pattern between yourself and Detective Greene.” I raise my eyebrow to hear her address her daughter so formally. “As of yet, no one outside of this room has been informed. We already know there are moles within the agency, and for her safety I would like to keep it that way.

“Right, it’s my safety your worried about,” Agent Greene pretends not to hear the outburst from Dinah.

“I was hesitant to include you, given your current status.”

“But Dinah insisted.” I finish the thought.

“Yes,” Agent Greene says as she clasps her hands in front of her and if I didn’t know any better, I would say they shaking. the look she gives me is not a kind one. I’ve never found myself comfortable with Agent Greene, but the effect is worse than usual today.

“So, what do I have crazy super blood as well?”

“No. Your blood doesn’t appear to have any amplifying effect.” Dr. Franks answers.

“Then what the fuck is it?”

“They think we’re related.” Dinah’s voice is soft and it takes me a second to process the words. “We are about a 25% match; it would be consistent with half siblings.”

“Okay, sure, and I’m also long-lost royalty.” I say with a roll of my eyes, but no one laughs. If anything, the tension in the room amplifies. Half siblings. One parent in common. God knows it isn’t my bitch of a mother, Dinah has her own one of those.

“This has to be some sort of mistake. I know who my father is. There’s no way. I’m not ever from this world.”

“Apparently you weren’t the first to come through that portal,” Dinah says her voice like ice and her eyes never leaving Rebecca.

Rebecca won’t meet her gaze. Dinah shakes her head and shakes off the reassuring hand Nate tries to place on her arm, “and I thought we were done with secrets.” She says with a bitter laugh.

“So, what, your dad was actually from my world? But I thought the agency didn’t have any records of other portals?” I ask trying to get all the pieces to fit together in my head. It feels like too much.

“Yes. You are the first person that the agency knows of,” Rebecca says her eyes sliding over to where Dr. Franks stands, “we are all shocked to learn about it. My late husband didn’t talk a lot about his past, and I respected his wish for privacy.”

I don’t believe her for a second. She knew. She knew all this time that I wasn’t the first. I run my hands over my face and try to wrap my head around it all. It’s bad enough trying to consider the fact that there might be other trapped here like me. I don’t know if I can even begin to grabble with the dad stuff. It’s not much of a loss discovering my father is not actually my father. He decided he didn’t want a daughter anymore when I was about four and I hadn’t seen or heard from him.

I remember seeing photos of Dinah’s dad in her office. He had an open face, always smiling holding her tight. Not just Dinah’s dad that could have been my dad.

“I will need to do further testing, but I believe that Detective’s Greene’s mutation may be caused by her unique heritage. If that is the case, there is a good chance that any children you might have would exhibit that same mutation.”

“Any what now?” I ask surprised.

“I would have to do further testing, but there’s a good chance that this is the source of the mutation. We couldn’t understand it before because we believed that Detective Greene had human parentage, but now knowing it is more complicated opens up other avenues of possibilities.”

He’s talking more to himself than us at this point and I tune it out. I run my hands over my face and try and keep above the swirling maelstrom that my thoughts have turned into. Knowing he wasn’t my father isn’t much of a loss. He stopped being a dad to me when I was four, but what did that leave me? Just the mistaken product of a one-night stand? I always knew I wasn’t planned, wasn’t wanted, the only reason for my mom’s first marriage. Was that why they got divorced, did he figure out he wasn’t my father? Maybe I really did ruin her life. It’s getting harder to breath and I think I might throw up.

A banging sound brings me back to the present and I look up to see Mason half way between the side table and my chair. Our eyes meet for a moment and against all reason I feel a little calmer. I lose myself a little in his grey depths and my racing thoughts begin to settle. There will be time to deal with my feelings about this. I say deal as if I won’t just bury it down like I do with everything else. What matters right now is what this means for us now.

“Okay, so say this is really true, what does it change?” I ask looking around the room.

Adam speaks up from the window, “I don’t think you should return to your apartment. I think for the time being you should return to the warehouse.”

I tense up at the thought, “I don’t really think that’s necessary. It’s not like my blood is super powered.”

“Perhaps not, but supernaturals have long lives. They may be willing to wait a generation to have access to the boost the mutation supplies.” Adam says with a grimace.

“Fine.” I concede and the tension in the room eases up a bit. “I’ll need a change of clothes and my stuff though.”

Adam nods, “make us a list and we will go grab them for you.”

“I will accompany Dr. Franks back to the facility and see if there is anything else, we missed in the test.” Agent Greene says signaling the end of the meeting.

Farah nearly knocks me over in her excitement to hug me. “You must be so excited! I told you Unit Bravo was a family, and now look it really is.”

I try and match her excitement. I really do, but it’s not easy.

Now that Agent Greene has left, Dinah is closer to her usual warm self. She hugs me for a long time, talking about how she always wanted a sister, that she had already thought of me as almost a sister.

It’s overwhelming. I think I say the right things. I think I look like I’m fine.

Dinah begins to tell me everything she can remember about her father, our father. How he was such a great dad, how much he cared, how much she misses him, how much she wished she had been able to know he better.

I feel like I can’t breathe. How different would my life had been if he never fell through the portal? What I wouldn’t have given to have a father like him, to feel loved and cherished even all these years later. What I wouldn’t give to remember a parent with love rather than bitterness, to have just one person in my life who looked out for me. But I didn’t get that. He fell through a hole in the world and Dinah got that instead. I feel so bitter I think I might chock on it.

I lie and say I need to go to the bathroom.

I don’t have a plan besides getting away from all the attention. I let me feet guide me and end up at the training room. Hitting something matches my mood exactly.

I fall into a rhythm. The sound of my fists hitting the dummy echoing in the empty space of the training room.

How did I ever get by without this before? Maybe my life wouldn’t have been so messy if I’d just let myself hit things.

I don’t notice him at first. Not until I stop to grab some water and I see him leaning against the door frame. If I wasn’t already winded from my excursions the intensity of his gaze would probably take my breath away.

I let myself look at him really look at him. Is it possible that I forgot how beautiful he is? I thought I could recall him well, the way the light catches in his eyes, the delicate spray of freckles across his golden skin, but my memories pale in comparison to the reality.

“Mason,” I say with a nod raising the water bottle to my lips.

He pushes off the wall and I watch his movements with rapt attention. He turns to face me in the center of the training mats before tying his hair back and sinking into a familiar position.

It’s an invitation.

Sparring with Mason isn’t a graceful dance. It is brutal, and it suits my mood just fine. Oh, sure he’s pulling his punches back, but even then, it still stings when he lands a hit. It still takes me a moment to recover when I land flat on my ass.

I manage to land a few hits, and I don’t know if it’s a testament to my skill improving, or if he’s letting me, but I don’t care. It’s still satisfying. It’s still distracting. It’s still what I need.

The next time he knocks me down I stay on the ground. I’m too tired to keep going, and the tangled knot of emotions in my chest feels less overwhelming.

“Better?” Mason asks.

“Yes, thank you.” I mean it. After all my stupidity, he should be the last person I want to be around, but I don’t know if I could stand being around anyone else right now. Between Farah and her excitement and questions, and Nate’s whole idolization of family ties, I’d felt like screaming.

“Dinah seems happy.”

“Yeah,” I say as I rise to a sitting position.

“but you’re not.”

I pull my legs in close and rest my head on my knees, “I’m too many things right now.”

If this was a few months ago, this would be the part where he offers to distract me. This is where he would say something crass like he’d be happy to make me cum too many times. But he can’t say that now, so he just shifts his weight from side to side looking uncomfortable.

“Thank you for the sparring, it helped, but you don’t need to do this.” I say with a sigh.

“Do what?”

“Stick around, check on me. I’ll be fine. I’m always fine.” Except my voice cracks a little on that last syllable. Once I start crying it hits hard. I can’t even figure out what exactly I’m crying about, there’s just this needy little part of me that’s angry and sad and normally I can keep her under control, but today was too much. Today was too many memories and reminders.

I don’t expect the tentative touch to my back, the weight of his hand, the quiet reassurance that he is there. I don’t know why he is here, or what it means, but right now I don’t care. I just want. I lean against him and let his arms wrap around me.

We stay that way for several minutes, until my tears slow down, until I feel calmer. When he pulls away, he does so quickly. All too soon he is standing several feet away.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. Will you be okay?”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.” I say with a wave of my hand.

His brow furrows before he answers, “I do though.”

Oh, my traitorous heart thrills at that. How little does that fool need to threaten to come bursting out of my chest and follow him as he walks towards the door.

tag list for the au (let me know if you would like to be added or removed): @lord-king-saint, @lilyoffandoms, @tracing-freckled-constellations, @vienocalledmebuddy, @freckles-spangledvampire, @utterlyinevitable, @whippedforethanfreakingramsey

#the wayhaven chronicles #just another liability #twc mason #oc: serena willis #fanficiton #lovelieswrites

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fieryhonesty · 3 years

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The life of You

[AO3]

Words: 1895

Kaeya didn't lie when he said he lives close to the tavern. However even that short distance was enough to make both of you soaked. Letting you enter first to his humble place. It's been a while since he had anyone at home. Usually it was him sleeping over at somebody’s place but that's been a while too.

"Whoah it's so pretty and cute here!" You exclaimed, eyes drifting around. Kaeya let out an amused chuckle. His place is small but he fit here way too many things he dares to admit.

"Hope you don't mind the sofa, unless..." Trailing his sentence on purpose. Curious of what you would say.

"Unless what? I'm fine even with the floor. You know sometimes I had no option and slept on a roof, haha."

Roof? This certainly piqued his curiosity. Just what by The Seven you were doing in Liyue? So far he understands you were helping with running the business. But again, something must have happened. One doesn't leave to take care of business and comes back with a vision out of nowhere.

"Well I could caress your cheeks while sleeping or rub your back-"

"Yea, I pass on that. I'm not that scared kid anymore! You can comfortably sleep, I'll be fine I swear." You answered nonchalantly while giving him a confident smirk.

He wanted to remind you about that squeak back at the tavern but decided not to. Instead of it he offered you to take a shower. You were hesitant at first but upon his remark that you can't sleep in wet clothes and you had a long travel. You agreed, slightly blushing when Kaeya offered you some spare clothes.

As you disappeared into the bathroom Kaeya decided to at least change clothes. He hates rain, it reminds him of that day when his father left him all alone. Also the day when his foster father died. Rain never brought anything good to him.

As he was mindlessly staring out of the window, observing lightnings he didn't notice you were standing in the door frame. Unsure if you should call out for him. He seemed too fascinated and as you looked at his profile you could see the little Kaeya you remembered. He always looked out during storms.

You suddenly sneezed and got the male's attention to yourself. Giving you a smirk as he approached you.

"Be careful to not get mesmerized by my looks, Dearie~" A tint of blush appearing on your face.

"Ah, sorry... I just. I didn't want to bother, you seemed to be lost in thought!" Kaeya's smug expression deepened. Wondering how much teasing you can withstand.

"Hmm. Maybe you are lying, trying to cover the fact you were enjoying your view. I didn't know my timid childhood friend grew into a wild woman." Before you could say something to defend yourself, he gave you another head pat as he walked past you. Now it was his turn to take a shower.

As he left you just by yourself. You just stood there, thinking about his words until your brain could finally understand. You wanted to shout something but it was late night and this was not even your place. Causing Kaeya problems with neighbors was the last thing you wanted to do.

To pass the time you decided to look a bit around, ended up in the kitchen. Looking at the kettle. Where are the cups? Once you found what you needed. Turning on the stove and waiting for water to boil. You felt tired, your muscles were aching, eyelids heavy. Luckily the noise of boiling water woke you up from your half slumber.

About the same time you could hear Kaeya getting out of shower. Going to the corridor to apologize for actually having the audacity to use his kitchen. But instead of an apology for that you murmured a simple sorry and fell back to the kitchen.

Heck. You didn't think he would get out of shower with just a towel around his waist. Feeling more than embarrassed, impatiently staring out of the kitchen window. Seeing absolutely nothing except some randomly appearing lightning in distance.

"Well, well. I didn't know you were so eager to-"

"Please forget about it. I had no idea. I thought you were dressed up like a normal person." You interrupted him while your eyes were still glued to the window.

"That's why you appeared so quickly in the corridor, huh?" He said teasingly. Noticing two cups of steaming tea. "Wow, this nearly feels like we are a couple doesn't it! Seeing me half naked, wearing my clothes. You even made me tea, so sweet!"

You turned at him and rolled your eyes. "Yea, yea. I wanted to let you know I made us tea as I'm still feeling cold despite of taking a shower. But whatever, sorry for that." Crossing arms on your chest. Clearly giving him signals to stop his little play. At what he chuckled again. His expectations were, you being shy and unable to say anything at all. This was fun.

"Hey I know you are tired and would love to dive under blankets. But I'm really curious about something." Sipping from one of the cups before continuing. "What took you so long? You never sent a letter. Nobody knew your location as you never mentioned your mother's business brand." You scoffed as soon as he said the word mother.

"My mother, huh. Honestly I wanted to tell you and Diluc at the same time as I hate to repeat myself but..." Looking at Kaeya, shifting closer to take your cup. Holding it in your hands as you were leaning against the counter.

"I didn't know my mother's business. I mean I grew up in Mondstadt. I had barely any memories at that time. And when I arrived..." You let out a sigh. "It's weird. She pushed me out of her life and then... and then..." Your voice changed from strong to really weak in a matter of seconds.

Kaeya looked at you with concern. He had an idea what happened but decided to let you talk at your own speed.

"So, the letter. It was not my mother's work. Her vice assistant wrote it. At that time my moth... ugh no, she can’t be called mother. Ah... whatever. At that time she was already in a late state of cancer. Practically dying and somehow her last wish was me taking over her business."

Kaeya just stood there, listening to your explanation of what exactly happened. How suddenly you had to learn so many things about business and fabrics. Understanding prices, how to make the best deal and many other things.

"And so when finally everything was settled down, I made my assistant have the same rights as me deciding about the possible best step for business. I mean... Look, she has been there since day one. She probably knows more than anyone else. Already being that woman's assistant. I think I can trust her." Finishing your tea with a loud slurp.

Feeling a bit relieved as you could get it out of your chest finally. More than explaining, it all felt like one big rant.

"To be fair. I wouldn't care if she took over the entire business. I don't want to be a business woman anyway. Too much stress. I wonder how your dad can deal with it all. Ah, do you think he would mind if I ask him for his secrets?"

Your last sentence stung him. He wanted to tell you that master Crepus was no longer alive. That he died one day, while protecting Diluc. But also there was something much worse he wanted to say. The truth about your foster parents.

Instead of saying anything at all he pulled you into an embrace. Silently rubbing your back. As you didn't push him back he assumed it's alright. That's good. He can savor some time to think this through. He can't just tell you two horrible news after hearing your story.

The truth is, each of you lost something or somebody, and is still suffering from aftermath. Yet he feels like the biggest scum ever. Not only he lied to Diluc and master Crepus. He also lied to you and now is about to think of some lie again. Just to push the responsibility to tell you the truth on somebody else.

He is such a horrible person and he knows that. His heart is already torn between what happened in his homeland and here. He is simply not the man who has the rights to be with you. To witness your painful reaction.

"Kaeya?" He just hummed. Praying to archons you won't ask for anything related to either of these catastrophes. "I know I'm a very huggable person, but what's wrong?"

"You said you are cold, and I felt like it. I'm glad to have you back, I'm not always making physical contact like this. You better cherish this moment." Hearing your chuckle and wrapping your hands around his torso.

"Now I feel like a little kid again. You guys always stood on my side and were there for me, thanks for that. And for this."

He felt like he does not deserve this. In fact he felt really down and needed a hug. Everything was repeating in his head, chasing him. He felt sick. Dirty liar. Trying to lie to himself that it's you who needs an embrace, but in fact it's him. He just should push you away and apologize. Tell you the truth like he told to Diluc that day. Make another person to change their opinion on him. He deserves that.

You were feeling like you will fall asleep any time soon. Freeing yourself and noticing Kaeya's darkened expression. Wanted to ask if he is really alright but it suddenly disappeared.

"Guess it's time to fetch you a blanket and go sleep, hmm?" Putting your worries away and nodding at Kaeya.

As you were sitting on sofa and waiting for the blanket, your mind reminded you what's going on. Being in male's house, that male is your friend, using his shower and now wearing his clothes. Usually you would be freaking out from things like this but you just sat there, a bit blushing. Reassuring yourself this is normal between old friends.

When Kaeya appeared in the living room, he was grinning. Telling you to lay down so he can cover you like a little kid. It was funny as he really said something one would tell to a child before sleep. Before he could leave you said something that made him stop in his tracks.

"Tomorrow I want to talk to Diluc. He seemed odd. Like really cold..." He stood there, thinking if he should just hum in response or actually say something. After a few seconds he responded.

"You see, Diluc has grown up. He is no longer the cute lad which would run to you when you fell down. Asking if you are alright, gently blowing at your ouchie or giving it a light kiss to heal faster." Kaeya felt like he said more than he should, hearing you getting up.

"Honey, go back to sleep. Ask him tomorrow, good night." Retreating to his room, feeling guilty. He won't have light sleep tonight, that's for sure.

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#genshin impact #genshin x reader #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin diluc #genshin kaeya #f!reader #genshin #genshin impact diluc #genshinimpact kaeya #diluc ragnvindr #kaeya alberich #fiery series #homecoming

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because-tomatoes · 5 years

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novella and backstory

You are a pretty neat person to be asking me this… Thank you. I will be sure to do the same to you. I never thought anyone would care to ask me…

Novella: Do you prefer to write short stories, one-shots, or entire novels?

I prefer writing entire novels, though I have not written a novel I feel like I couldn’t just write a short story. I would want to write more about the story and explore my characters. I feel like novels can be as long as you need it to be!

Though perhaps I do like writing one-shots… I’m at the point in my ‘research’ phase of my WIP where I am introducing my characters. I don’t want to reveal the story but I do love giving their back stories. At least then… people can wonder what their purpose will be in my book. Are they good? Are they bad? Regardless people can get to know them than seeing who they are.

Backstory: How did you come to love writing?

I can’t remember when I fell inlove with writing… writing was always my safe place. It was a way of me expressing myself. But I just looked through some things from my tickle trunk (a trunk full of things from my childhood) and there are all kind of stories and little poems in there. I had to be in kindergarden when I really started going on about stories. As a child I was going from foster home to foster home and the only way I could cope was writing stories. My favourite was writing about white tigers and cats. I was asked once what my favorite story was and I came up with my own story and my own title and said ..that was my favorite story. (I was a smart ass.)

When I got adopted, I would constantly think of my own little stories. I remember my first character - her name was Iraleen (I loved the name Iris and started coming up with different names for it). The basics of the story was there was a mother and a daughter. The mother got remarried and after sometime she died. (I don’t remember if she had cancer or what…) but any ways.. the step dad ended up having to step up and father the girl. I had to have been eight or nine at the time. I never had a dad so that was my way of having a dad I guess.

Regardless, I never exactly started writing till I found the Ancient Magus Bride. Which is an amazing Anime and Manga series. I found myself relating to the main character Chise. The way her mother died is the same way my mother died. The way her father and brother left was very similar how my brother and father left. The way she valued her life is how I valued my life. I was always made fun of my red hair as a kid and I imagined that because she grew up in Japan she was also made fun of for her red hair.

That was December 2017. I remember being so inspired that I wanted to start writing and wanted to create my own world. I wrote a fanfiction dedicated to Ancient Magus Bride… I honestly had no idea how to write a story.. It was so hard to read because I didn’t know I had to seperate different topics into paragraphs. My readers liked the idea of my story but they were the ones that taught me that I needed to have paragraphs, I needed to seperate my lines when characters where speaking to one another and so on.

Here are some of their corrections.. and I am quoting them..

“But, yeah, as the other comments say, sometimes the grammar is off and the structure is a little long at times. But it didn’t bother me reading it. I think you’re doing a very good job writing this. Please do continue sometime.”

“Mmm, the grammar is tiny bit awkward at times, but the premise and technical writing is beyond that, as well as the details and characerization, are delightful.”

You know? Things like that really really helped me become aware of my writing.I found people on AO3 were more honest than people on FanFiction.. and I really loved that. They didn’t bring me down, they simply helped me know what I needed to work on. I would always tell people that I was very new to writing and encouraged people to correct me. I think that is how people can grow! But at the same time I don’t like anyone that I know…reading my stories. Because I know I’m pretty bad at it.

I want to go to college and take writing courses so that I can learn how to be a better writer. I paid for a writing program that points out my flaws and helps me become aware of my grammar or my puntuation. I even made this Writeblr so that you guys can teach me, correct me, and show me how to become a better writer. Not that I expect people to write me that but I am trying to become a better writer by all the advice that people spill. It’s like golden little nuggets for me to be a better writer… I aspire to be just that.. Even if I just write for myself. I love writing because it takes me places. It takes me away from my reality. I recently got diagnosed with PTSD and am on short term disabilty because of it. Until November I began having these visions or dreams of a story. And I became absolutel memorized of my character and I began creating a world for her. I loved writing poetry but I felt like I needed to use the characters as a way to help me heal from my trauma..to help me overcome my past. I have weaved myself in my SIP (Story in Progress) and it has helped me face a lot of my own demons. I cry when I write my characters. I pace my house as I think of my characters. I laugh out of nowhere when thinking of random plots. I am an absolute crazy person. My husband calls this my story box. XD

At the time being I am writing another fanfic (I have put my Ancient Magus Bride on a shelf at the moment) and I am using a world that has already been created as a way for me to write till I have my own world figured out.

So.. how did I come to love writing.. I may have taken a few bunny trails since you asked the question but.. I came to love writing the moment I felt like I could be taken away from my reality. As I said in a poetry once (Sticks and Stones)

“To killing off reality with fermenting thoughts

I’m intoxicated with this fascination of this imagination”

If writing can pull me away from my pain or if it can help me leap over mountains..than I think I have found my place.

#ancient magus bride #chise #fanfiction #personal #writeblr #questions

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bugheadfamily · 6 years

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Bughead Family Discord Member Spotlight

This week the spotlight is on Mari ( @writeraquamarinara )! Click the read more link below to get to know our member!

Spotlight by Mila, @jughead-jones | Graphic by Katie, @betty-cooper

Mari | @writeraquamarinara

Name: Mari

Age: 18

Location: Montreal, QC.

Any other languages aside from English people can contact you in?: Italian.

Favourite Riverdale characters and ships?: Betty, Jughead, Pop, Fred, Mary, Kevin, Joaquin, Bughead, Joavin, and Choni.

Favourite moments from S1 & S2?: The scene that got me hooked to the show was when Reggie questioned Jughead about killing Jason, and he replied with a snarky little “It’s called necrophilia, Reggie. Can you spell it?” Other favorite moments are pretty much any Bughead scene from S1, but especially their first kiss. I had been shipping them together since the Blue and Gold scene in 1x03, but 1x06 really hit me hard. They’re both two broken kids who find solace in each other. As someone whose mother is all too similar to Alice Cooper, hearing Jughead tell Betty that they aren’t their parents made me so emotional. I rewatched that scene on repeat when the clip came out on Youtube the next day. To this day I can’t listen to Emily Afton’s Lost without crying. I also really love the hug from 1x13 after Betty, Veronica, and Archie go to Southside High for Juggie. S2 favorite moments are also only Bughead scenes, but not all Bughead scenes, if you catch my drift.

What are your hopes for S3?: Are a coherent plotline and consistent characterization too much to ask for? Also maybe have the parents on the show (other than Archie’s) actually respect their children and treat them well, but that’s never going to happen. On a more realistic note, I’m hoping to watch some fun interactions between Josie and Kevin now that they’re going to be step-siblings.

Other fandoms you’re into?: I don’t really have an online presence in other fandoms, but I do love to geek out over Percy Jackson, That 70s Show (specifically JackiexHyde), The Office, Parks and Rec, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, and nearly all of the Marvel movies.

What are some of your favourite movies/TV?: As I mentioned: That 70s Show, The Office, Parks and Rec, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, and Marvel. I’m currently bingeing The Good Place and The Mindy Project. I also went to watch Crazy Rich Asians in theaters and loved it. So basically I’m trash for rom and com. Sue me. (Or don’t. I’m a broke college student who can’t afford that ish.)

Favourite books?: The Book Thief, The Color Purple, Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America’s Shining Women, Pride and Prejudice, and, most of all, The Glass Castle.

Favourite bands/musicians?: Nina Simone, Alicia Keys, ABBA, Of Monsters and Men, Christina Perri, and Imagine Dragons.

If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?: I thought a lot about this question. The obvious answer would be “one with magic, or mermaids, or superheroes”. But then I thought that I’d rather live in a world like ours, more realistic, but where women are equal to men, diversity is celebrated, people accept each other for who they are. That’s a very idealistic world, I realize, and (if my preteen love of dystopian novels has taught me anything) one that’s most definitely unattainable, but it’s still nice to think about it. If anyone knows of a fictional world like that, sign me up.

Favourite food?: Gosh, that’s a hard one. Probably my grandma’s lasagna.

Favourite season?: Fall, definitely. It’s my birthday season, and I love the colorful leaves and breezy weather and going apple-picking with my family and friends. Unfortunately, Canada’s fall doesn’t last much more than a day, so I missed out on all that this year.

Favourite plant?: Nelumbo nucifera, aka the Lotus Flower.

Favourite scent?: Aftershave? Weird, I know, but it reminds me of my childhood and my father.

Favourite colour?: Periwinkle.

Favourite animal?: Hummingbird.

Are you a night owl, an early bird, or a vampire?: Night owl, definitely.

Place you want to visit?: The Alhambra Palace in Granada, Spain, the Jameh Mosque of Isfahan in Iran, and Ryoanji in Japan.

Do you have pets? If you do, tell us a little about them: I don’t have any pets that live with me currently, but I’ve got a pet back home with my parents. She’s a rescued pup from Mississippi, probably some kind of mix between a Pointer and a Labrador Retriever. Her name’s Sassy and she’s super energetic. If you had asked me this question a week ago I would’ve also said I had a cat named Puma but he was twelve and had cancer, so…yeah.

Tell us a little about yourself?: Um, I never really know what to say to that question. Like, what do you really want to know? I’m Mari (the name comes from my AO3/tumblr username, and not my real name). I was born in New Jersey, grew up in New York and Italy, now go to university in Montreal. I’m super passionate about art history, women’s rights, and politics. I hope to be a dermatologist, but honestly, who knows where life will take me. I’m the oldest of four and the first in my family to go through the American school system, so my parents have always referred to me as their “guinea pig”, and that totally hasn’t given me a weird obsession with being the perfect child, perfect student, perfect daughter. For some very obvious reasons, I relate way too much to Betty Cooper.

Fun or weird fact about you?: I fenced competitively for eight years of my life, traveling all around the US and to Europe for training and national competitions, including the Junior Olympics.

Asks for fanfic authors:

How long have you been writing?: I’ve been writing since I was little, but they were always stories with original characters. I didn’t start writing fic until I was sixteen, nearly seventeen, so it’s been a little over a year.

Which is your favourite of the fics you’ve written?: Geez, that’s a tough one. As much as I love my little one shots, I’d have to say Little Talks. It’s largely based on my own high school experience, and therefore my own way of coming to terms with the end of that chapter of my life.

Favourite fic/chapter/plot-point/character you’ve ever written?: Oof. Another tough one. Um, I’d have to say that I really love my characterization of Alice in Blue Sunshine and Golden Rain. She’s a villainess, but hopefully one you love to hate.

Which was the hardest to write, and why?: Again, Blue Sunshine and Golden Rain. I have a bit of a plot twist planned for the story, but I’m really not sure what kind of reception it’s going to get from readers, so I’ve had the chapter half-finished for months. I just need to get the motivation to finish it, and the courage to say “I don’t care if people hate this, or think it’s weird.” I’ll get there eventually.

How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? (examples: Do you draw inspiration from real life? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?) Do you have an process to your writing?: I’ve answered this in a tumblr ask before, but I get inspiration from anywhere and everywhere. Mainly from real life, because I like to observe and speculate and ask a bunch of “what if”s and go from there. So, like I mentioned, Little Talks is largely based on my life. But there are definitely some plot points in the story that are a result of me going “well, what if I had done this? Or he had done that?” Another example of a real life-inspired fic is my oneshot I <3 You, which was inspired by that instastory (Cole or Lili’s? I can’t remember) of a cake with bright orange frosting that spelled out I <3 You. I also take inspiration from other creative works, such as books or movies. One of my many upcoming fics is based on How To Train Your Dragon, and another is a crackfic based on the Suite Life. Other times, fic ideas come to me out of nowhere. I was in the lab last summer, waiting for my breast cancer tumor slides to go through antigen retrieval, when I came up with the idea for Blue Sunshine and Golden Rain. My brain works in very strange ways.

Idea that you always wanted to write?: I’ve always wanted to write a lot of fics (I have a whole list of them), but they’re in the works so I won’t spoil any more than I already have. The main fic that I don’t even have an idea for but just want to write is a heartbreakingly angsty fic. One that makes me cry while I write it. Here’s hoping it comes to me soon, because I feel like that could be a really interesting experience as a writer.

Favourite character to write?: Alice. Which is strange, because I don’t like her in the show, but there are so many different directions you could take her character that she’s always so interesting to me.

Best comment/review you’ve ever received?: Oh, well, all of them? Is that an answer? Because all comments and reviews make me super happy. But if I had to choose one then I’d say any comment from @earthlaughsinflowers, @mothermaple, @dottie-wan-kenobi, or @notanotherotherone. I kind of cheated by not picking one, exactly, but oh well.

Best and worst parts of being a writer?: The best part of being a writer is putting a story that you put a lot of your soul into and getting support and love for it. Because I only put stories out there that I’m happy to write, happy to read, but to see that they make other people happy, too? That’s an amazing feeling. The worst part is the amount of time it takes to do absolutely anything, especially when you’re not in the right headspace to write. When I’ve had the worst week ever, and I have to physically push myself to spend time that should be spent resting to write because an update needs to come out soon, it goes from being a fun hobby to being a stress-inducing chore.

Do you have any advice to offer?: I haven’t been a fic writer for a long time, so I wouldn’t say that I’m going to offer up the wisest advice, but here’s what I’ve garnered so far: Do what makes you happy. That goes for all of life, not just writing, and is often hard to follow, but here’s how I see it: If you want to write a story because it makes you happy, write it. If you want to quit your WIP to start something else because that makes you happy, do it. If you need to take a break from writing altogether because it’ll make you happier, take it. Write what you want to write, at the pace you want to write it, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

This is the twelfth instalment of Bughead Family’s Member Spotlight series. Each week, a member’s url is selected through a randomizer and they will be featured in a spotlight post. In order to participate, please join the Bughead Discord (more information found here). Thank you.

#bughead #riverdale #bughead fanfiction #member spotlight #bughead family discord

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kisstheprincessofpurewhite · 6 years

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After My Father’s Funeral Chapter 1

Summary: Funerals can be stressful, but so can weddings--especially with a family as effed up as theirs. Unfortunately for Leia, she has both to attend in one go. So much for repression. Modern AU

Pairings: Leia/Han, Mara/Luke, Jyn/Cassian, Leia&Han&Luke&Mara&Cassian&Jyn, Uncle Owen/Aunt Beru

Chapter summary: Let the past die, bury it if you have to.

Chapter pairings: Mara/Luke, Jyn/Cassian, Past!Leia/Cassian, Luke&Leia&Mara

A/N: Based on the idea that it would be really traumatizing to be a Skywalker in the modern day. See Ao3 and FFN versions for full authors notes.

If Leia had learned anything from her albeit limited experience traveling, it was that bureaucracy was a bitch. “Bureaucracy is a lawyer’s best friend, Miss Organa,” her boss, Akbar, had told her. “These people, they try so hard to cover every little crack and crevice, but it’s our job to find where they were wrong.” Today, in-line at the airport, Leia was fairly certain it was the whole idea that was wrong with bureaucracy. After her ticket failed to work, she had to wait in-line to speak with a representative, having already spoken with two other employees and a supervisor. It was as if the universe was preventing her from going home, which she desperately wanted to take as a sign to switch her flight to someplace with tropical beaches. She was even considering Canto Bight, when it was her turn in line.

“Thank you for flying Rebel Air. How can I help you, ma’am?” The smiling woman said.

“Yes, hello, I have a last-minute booking to Naboo, and my tick-“

“We have a policy on exchanging flights for last-minute bookings, ma’am. I’m sorry.” The response was tired, rehearsed, as if countless people had tried to weasel out of the policy of the company.

She sighed inwardly, bidding the dream of the casino goodbye. “I don’t want to exchange, I want to get on my plane, my ticket won’t check me in.”

“How odd, may I see your ticket and some ID, please.” Leia handed both over, and the woman scanned it. “Naboo, huh?”

Leia was not in the mood for smalltalk. “Yep.” The airport had to be the worst place for small talk.

“What brings you there? Big racing down there, I hear.”

“Yeah, yeah, I grew up there. I’m going for family stuff, you know. A funeral and then a wedding.” The representative nodded and smiled knowingly. How ironic, there’s no way she could’ve known.

The computer made a noise, not a good one either, and the rep made a face, and tried again. “Hmmm,” she said. “Odd, let me get my supervisor.”

Leia groaned and laid her face on the counter. She hated to leave her fate in the hands of strangers, without any agency as to getting anywhere. After a few moments, she huffed, trying not to lose her temper. She wasn’t in a hurry per se, but also wasn’t in the mood to spend any more time than she had to with airport employees.

The rep appeared with another employee. “I’m sorry about that Ms. Organa, here’s a new ticket for you, should work now,” the (presumed) supervisor told her, scanning the ticket. There was a happy sounding beep, and she took her ticket with a thanks.

She checked her bags, and sat down at her gate. The tv above the gate was on; she immediately regretted glancing at it.

“…the noted activist, and so-called ‘Champion of Free Speech’ Anakin Skywalker has died. The 65-year old had been battling lung cancer for nearly a decade before passing away at his home in Naboo on Friday. Skywalker first rose to fame as a leader of the Imperialists under the name ‘Vader.’ But Skywalker had moved away from the group in recent years—even calling it a ‘cult’ in one noted interview—to support pro-environmentalist groups. His family asks to make any donations to…”

“Quite the enigma, that man.” The voice made Leia jump, and she looked over to see a man sitting next to her looking at the TV. He saw that she had looked over and continued. “I read his book ‘Anti-anti-‘, and let me say—“ She immediately got up, took her carry-on bag, and moved to sit on the opposite side of the seating area with her back to the stranger. If the man was at all offended by her behavior, she neither knew nor cared.Skywalker certainly had a way of ruining everything, even the flight to his funeral.

The Naboo airport held one of her most treasured memories: when she had parted with her brother, Luke, for the first time since what she had dubbed the Ruling. They who had spent a majority of their formative years apart, only to be reunited at 16 through the worst of all circumstances, left each other for the first time since then in a tearful goodbye at the airport four years ago. At the time, she knew she wouldn’t miss the city, her old college, or even her (recently) ex-boyfriend, but she hated leaving her twin after trying so hard to stay together.

So today it was only fitting that it be Luke’s face to greet her at the gate. Their embrace was tight and full of longing, she hadn’t seen her brother since before they had turned 25. Leia turned and greeted the woman beside Luke with her own tender embrace and a kiss on the cheek.

“Mara, you look so well,” Leia said, gripping her soon-to-be sister-in-law’s forearms.

“Thank you, as do you as always. Thank you for coming sooner than we’d originally talked about, I’m sorry if it spoiled any of your plans.” She blew her red hair out of her face, smiling broadly.

“Well, if they were spoiled it’s how ol’ dad would’ve wanted it,” Leia released Mara and heading towards baggage claim.

“Now, Leia-“ Luke’s voice was a warning, one that she wasn’t about to heed.

“‘Now, Leia’” Leia mockingly repeated. “I promise to keep my comments to myself during the wake and the funeral, but I make no such guarantees about anywhere else.”

She couldn’t hear Luke’s sigh, but she knew it was there. They picked up her bag, and hopped into Luke’s old truck.

“When’re you going to get a new car?” Leia asked. “The windows still roll down.”

“Luke had said something about the end of days, but that is in contention,” Mara joked from the backseat.

Luke only smiled. Leia knew that he wasn’t bothered at all at Mara’s comment, or even at her’s towards Skywalker. Her brother had the most positive temperament of anyone she’d ever met; she resented him just a little for that.

“I hope you don’t mind staying with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru,” Luke said as they crossed over Amidala bridge. The bridge connected the inner city and the boroughs of Naboo, a passion project of their late mother’s. They had named it after her, a symbol of how much she had been universally loved in her local community.

“Of course not,” Leia stated, only lying a little bit. It was difficult to pin blame on anyone for the unpleasantness that had framed the last ten years of her life. Luke was definitely not a candidate, and therefore should not have to suffer her contention. Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru were contenders as well as her own dear parents. The only person who Leia could surely, 100%, be blamed was Anakin Skywalker. And blame him she did.

They pulled into the drive-way of the Lars’ Farm, and all three each rolled out of the hot car—Luke’s air conditioning had quit sometime in college. Her Uncle and Aunt greeted her warmly, showing her to the guest room, which had, at one time, been Luke’s room. After the Ruling, Leia had sat with Luke in this very room and imagined their lives together growing up as they might have been. The faces of those who would raise them were blurry, but so many of the memories she’d constructed had felt so real, it was bittersweet to think of her childhood without him. Now the walls were bare of Luke’s Ahch-To and X-wing posters and the room certainly smelled better.

She was debating between living out of her suitcase or unpacking when Luke came in with his hands in his pockets and a peculiar smile on his face. Leia knew that look, as she knew every look--every movement even--of her brother’s. Choice words were about to be said, and she was sure she wasn’t going to like them.

“A bit different from when we were 18,” Luke commented.

“Certainly smells better.” That got a chuckle, but it didn’t really reach his eyes.

“Leia…” She sighed, and crossed her arms. “I’ve never been able to tell you what to do-

“Nor will you ever.”

“-but could you at least keep your comments about dad, our dad, to a minimum? Or at least confine them to just between us?”

“Mara knows perfectly well what I think about your father, no sense in hiding from her.” She tried not to be exclamatory, only firm, in her distinction of “your.”

Luke was not having said distinction. “He was your father too.” His tone was matter-of-fact, not loud.

“No, he wasn’t. A father is there for you, a father teaches you how to ride a bike and playfully threatens your prom date. Anakin Skywalker was not my father.”

Luke sighed, exasperated. “What more could he have done to redeem himself to you?”

Leia rolled her eyes. “Well, there’s no use asking that question now as there isn’t anything more he could do. He’s dead.”

“I know that, but what could he have done?”

“Not be a racist? Not inspire god-knows how many to kill? Not left our mother to die? Taken care of us after she died? Oh, and when he didn’t do all those things, how about not putting the fact that we are related to him in the goddamn public record? You know how many opportunities I’ve lost because of him? All a potential connection need do is google my name and right there is ‘daughter of noted activist Anakin Skywalker.’” She stood from the bed, ready to defend her viewpoint in the impending argument.

“You think I haven’t had doors closed in my face too? You really think you’re the only one to suffer?” They weren’t yelling, Luke never yelled. But his voice was firm and contentious.

“No, but you still defend him, he ruined our lives!” Leia didn’t understand how Luke could see the events of the past and come to any other conclusion.

“What would you have done, Leia? If you were in his shoes, what would you have done?” He had always seen the world through their results: Skywalker had brought them back together as brother and sister so ergo Skywalker was good.

“How can you continue to defend him? He’s ruined your wedding!” There were tears in her eyes now, threatening to fall.

“By dying? It’s not like he could choose when-“

“I wouldn’t put it past him.”

Luke sighed, and she felt the tension drop. Their argument would not escalate further. “Mara and I already live together, and we have the rest of our lives, the wedding is just a day.”

“One of the only days in your life where you have all of your loved ones together in one room.”

Luke shrugged. “Maybe you’re right, maybe he was comforted by the idea that everyone was going to be here anyway.”

Leia bit back her comment, knowing it was no use to argue with him. She sat back down, her temper deflated. Luke kneeled on the bed beside her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

“You have every right to be angry, and I hope one day you decide to let it go. Either way, I’m glad you’re here.” Leia bit back the tears until Luke embraced her and she let them fall, silently crying into his arms.

“Luke, Aunt Beru wants to know-“ Mara said, poking her head into the room. “Oh, sorry. Is everything alright?”

Leia nodded and wiped her face as Luke rubbed her back. “Yeah, it's just a lot, you know, to be back here, in this room. We tried weed in here, one time, did Luke tell you?” Luke was right, there was no use dragging Mara into her trauma.

Luke didn’t seem phased that she had lied about what was going on, and groaned. “Never again, I will never understand the appeal.” The three of them laughed and Leia fingered the duvet cover. She tried to tell herself it was only the jet-lag and airport that had made her so upset.

The Wake was the next day, and flew by before Leia even noticed. Both the funeral and visitation were closed events, invitation only, with enforcers hired to keep any unwanted company out. There was a slight mix-up that involved a Senator from Scarif but was soon sorted out without much hassle. Overall, the night was full of people wishing both her brother and her well. Though the stream of mourners was steady, there couldn’t have been more than a few dozen. Mara had mentioned something about the event conflicting with the races, and Leia laughed to herself that not even her father’s funeral could compete with this town’s obsession with racing. Most of the guests were also wedding guests, and promised to be there in a little over two weeks under much lighter circumstances.

“I hope they all RSPV’d, otherwise it's going to be terribly awkward to turn them away,” Luke said to Mara and Leia during a small break between mourners.

“‘Sorry great-aunt Myla, I know you said you’d be here two weeks ago, but that was then and this was now,’” Mara mimed Luke turning away elderly potential wedding guests. The three all cracked a smile and greeted another couple, Anakin’s former editor and his wife.

They had chosen a closed casket for both events. Still, Leia couldn’t help but glance at the casket every so often with a sick desire to set her eyes on Skywalker one more time. To see if he was really dead? Would she find joy in knowing he’d finally gotten what he’d deserved: a slow death, probably most of it in pain? She snapped her head away and shook her head. Pretty soon, she’d turn out like him: evil.

The funeral was the Friday after. In front of the mirror, Leia was hoping no one would notice that she’d worn the same black dress to both the wake and the funeral. She only had maybe two black dresses to begin with—white was more her color. And, even then, she’d had to pack for nearly a month and could only take so much with her. Besides, she was grieving, right? Who expected someone to be en vogue while in mourning? To finish the outfit, she wore big, dark glasses so that—hopefully—no one saw her rolling her eyes during the ceremony.

The temple was surrounded by natural beauty, flowering trees and even a waterfall. She was sure Luke had picked out this place. Another receiving line, more mourners. After a dozen or so, she was stifling a yawn and excused herself to get some water.

It was on her way down the hall that she ran into someone she had not expected to, and, from the look on his face, he had not expected her either.

“Cassian?” She said, removing her glasses.

“Leia, its good to see you again.” They awkwardly stood in the hallway. Cassian was with a very pretty woman their age, with big blue eyes and somewhat of a European face. If the rumors from Luke were true, then this must be...

“Leia, this is my fiancé, Jyn Erso. Jyn, this is…an old friend, Leia Organa. We went to school together.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Leia said, smiling and extending her hand.

“Ditto.” So she was English. “Sorry about your loss.” She shook Leia’s hand. It shouldn’t feel weird, should it? To meet your ex’s fiancé. She tried to smile and push it out of her mind.

“Thank you both for coming, but, in truth, I had not expected you to be here.”

“It was more for your brother and Mara-“

“And you, of course,” Jyn interjected.

“Of course. You and Luke and Mara, we came to support you. How are you doing?” She couldn’t make out his tone, and therefore if he was referring to her life in general, the funeral, or the wedding. She said as much. Cassian chuckled and Jyn even cracked a smile. “All three, I guess.”

She addressed each in sequence. “Fine, ehh, and fine.”

“We should get together and catch up, the fo- five of us,” Cassian said.

“We’re having a party tomorrow night to celebrate the wedding,” Jyn said. “You’re invited, of course.”

“Well then, of course I’ll come,” Leia assured. The three of them started back towards the entrance where her brother and Mara were waiting.

“And we’ll have to meet, and catch up,” Cassian reminded.

“Yes, catching up, let’s. It was nice seeing you both, I’ll see you in there, and maybe after. Definitely tomorrow.” Leia talked as they walked. She took her place next to Luke as Mara kissed the cheek of some tall scruffy-looking guy. Leia figured he was probably one of her family as she had never seen him before, but thoughts of the man were quickly put out of her mind.

“Cassian! Jyn!” Luke said, shaking the hand of the two, Mara embraced them both.

“It’s great that you’re both here, we’ll see you tomorrow.” Mara told them and Leia nodded, already turning to the next person in line.

The funeral went by also without a hitch, though Leia had her fair share of eye-rolling and snorts—the latter of which she masked as sobs with the help of an acquired tissue. The speaker carefully skidded over Skywalker’s debatable crimes against humanity by simply referring to them as “dark times.” Leia had to pretend to blow her nose to contain the scoff from that one.

Soon enough they were wheeling the casket up the aisle and headed to the cemetery. Only close friends and family were attending, no more than ten or so people. Luke and Mara rode in Leia’s rental rather than Luke’s truck. They were right in the front behind the hearse.

“I don’t think I ever thanked you for coming early, Leia,” Luke said, and Mara rubbed his arm.

“No need, I wish I could’ve come sooner and helped out with any affairs that needed to be tended to.”

Luke shrugged. “There wasn’t much to sort, he knew it was the end and had already planned with money set aside. He was in the hospital for the last year, didn’t even have a house or many personal items. No, all he-“ Luke must’ve known that she wouldn’t’ve cared if Skywalker had wanted her at his funeral or not, and amended his statement. “All I wanted was for you to be here.”

“Then I’d do it again, one-hundred times over. Anything for my baby brother.”

Luke smiled. “I’m the oldest.”

“Are not.”

“Are to.”

“I can dig up the pictures of the birth certificates again, if you insist.”

Luke seemed to shrug. “Pictures can be doctored, unlike your attitude.”

That made Leia laugh out loud as they pulled into the cemetery, the loud bell proclaiming their purpose for visiting.

There was a small ceremony at the tomb-site, the speaker inviting anyone to come and say something. Luke gave a small speech, as did a few others, but Leia hardly noticed. She was looking over the rise to the group of men wearing all black who seemed to be staring at them. They had shaved heads. One raised a sign over his head that read: “Long-live the Emperor.” That was enough for Leia.

“Excuse me,” she said quite suddenly as she got up and to the enforcer who’d come with them, directing his attention to the intruders. He quickly spoke on a walkie-talkie, making his way in the direction Leia had pointed.

The group noticed the man heading towards them, and some started to run away. Most stayed put.

“Hold fast, brothers!” one yelled so that even the dead could hear. “They can’t stop our free speech!”

“We aren’t the government, you fucking dickhead! It's a private ceremony, and you’re intruding! Go be a waste of oxygen somewhere else, you ignorant, servile scum!” Leia shouted back.

“It’s you who are the scum! Not giving this great man a proper burial as he outlined in his 1986 manifesto!”

“Tell that to executor of his fucking estate with a will from circa 2014! Leave us to mourn in peace, and let the past die before I kill it myself!” Leia’s throat was hoarse, but she would gladly out-shout a symphony to keep skinheads away from Skywalker’s burial. Not for the sanctity of Skywalker’s grave or anything like that, instead for the sake of peace for those she loved.

“You hear that, she’s threatening me!”

By now the enforcer had caught up to them, and most of the group had fled. But the person conversing with her across the cemetery had to be restrained and escorted out. Leia sat down and with a nod, the speaker continued as if not missing a beat. No one seemed too surprised something like this would happen. All Leia could think was it figured that Skywalker could even ruin his own burial.

They lowered the casket and began burying it. As they did this, Leia made her way over to a different plot, placing the bouquet she had brought with her on the tombstone: “Here lies ORGANA Bail and Breha, loving wife, husband, parents, and friends. May the force be with us all.”

“Hi,” Leia whispered. “It’s been a minute.”

The wind whispered over the peaceful place.

“Wish you were both here, I think about you every day.”

She laid on her back, head on the flat stone as though it were a pillow, and imagined herself there, forever.

“Practicing?” A voice said and she cracked her eye open to see her brother, his tie untied, and dirt on his pants.

She nodded and closed her eyes. She heard the grass rustling as he lay next to her.

“Do you wanna be buried here?” Luke asked.

“Yeah, it’s so peaceful. You’ll be next to me, right?”

“Of course. I’ll even do you one better and split a coffin with you. Save us a lot of money.” With the private ceremony and unlisted grave, there was hardly any money left for the two of them. Leia had felt bad for Luke what with the wedding three weeks away, and had refused what small amount was left for her, insisting he take it.

Leia laughed. “Go out of this life the way we came in?”

Luke also laughed. “I didn’t even think of it that way.”

“Hey, at least we’ll be together. I never wanna not be together, in one way or another.”

Luke sighed in agreement, and took her hand. They stared at the sky together, watching the clouds.

“You two should move to Coruscant, there’s a ton of writing jobs there. And it's not too far from Ahch-To, which I know you love.”

“We’ve talked about it.”

“You should do it.”

“We’ll see.” Luke was silent for another moment. “We should be getting back.”

Leia sighed and got up. “Any more appearances until the wedding?”

Luke looked pensive for a moment as he got up. “Well there’s Cassian and Jyn’s party tomorrow, and our party that we’re throwing and-“

“Ok, ok, I guess I’ll have to always be on my best behavior.” They started walking towards the cars.

“Thanks for getting after those guys,” Luke said after a moment of walking.

“It was my pleasure, I assure you.”

“Never thought you’d defend dad’s right to have some peace.”

“I was thinking mostly about how much I didn’t want to see you try to have a calm discussion with the skin-head before he reset your clock.”

“I could’ve taken them.”

“Sure.”

They reached the cars where most everyone had left, Mara was waiting by the car.

“There you two are, I was beginning to wonder if you’d fallen into an open grave or something,” she said.

“At least then we’d leave this life the way we came in,” Luke joked.

“Gross, you know, there is such a thing as too close, you two.”

“It was Leia’s joke!” Luke said as he claimed the front seat.

They started driving back Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru’s, stopping to get a late lunch.

“You met Jyn, right?” Mara asked from the backseat. Leia nodded.

“Yeah, she and Cassian seem cute together.”

“He’s great. She’s my maid of honor.” Leia nodded. “She seems really nice, kinda quiet. But nice.” “Well, we’ve been through a lot, the two of us. I’d like if you two got along. I know there’s some history between you and Cassian, but-” Leia shook her head emphatically. “There won’t be a problem, I swear.” “You’ll have to meet my best man,” Luke piped up.

“Speaking of someone she might have a problem with,” Mara muttered.

Luke looked over his shoulder at her, but Leia didn’t catch it. He ignored Mara’s comment otherwise. “He’ll be at the party tomorrow.” Leia hummed in agreement. “Try not to kill him, will you? Or at least wait to kill him until after the wedding.”

“I make no such guarantees,” Leia quipped, getting a small laugh. “But I promise to at least try to leave him in one piece for the pictures.” She racked her brain and trying to remember if Luke had said something previously about this guy. Did Luke even mention him at all? He kept up with such a strange crowd since dating Mara, who knew a lot of people in the racing scene. Leia groaned internally, praying to god he wasn’t one of those stuck-up racing types.

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colorofyourhair · 7 years

Text

Practically Perfect in Every Way

Prompt:

Rating: M

Note: As tumblr is the only site that will let me list an individual rating per chapter I’ll rate them as content demands. However the larger compilation on both FFN and AO3 are rated M.

So... This got away from me. I hope you like single dad/nanny AU because this is 11k of exactly that. Also please forgive the sloppy formatting. My laptop is on the blinks and I’m posting from an iPad and google Docs EATS FORMATTING. I AM SO UPSET. Anyway. Thanks to @ravenstyx for the pre-read.

Also posted here:

FFN

AO3

Autumn

Their situation wasn't ideal. He felt bad admitting that because of course it wasn't ideal. Not for him, not for the girls, and certainly not for their mother – his sister – who'd just been buried. Just being a relative term because the funeral was nearly six months behind them. Six months had passed and he was only beginning to settle in the new house with the children that were now his...ish. His-ish. Were they his? He supposed they were. Gods he was already a terrible father. He couldn't even call them his children without following it up with unnecessary qualifiers.

The social worker had glared at him when he explained that he was still technically a college student. He couldn't just move. PhD candidates didn't just leave. He had papers and books and a life. He even had a job offer already, despite being a full year away from graduating. The position, of course, had been the gage by which he measured all his success as a student. That had been buried right along with his sister, though. He'd need to seek other, more local, employment now. Which was fine. It was fine.

It wasn't fine.

He was angry. Not at the blameless, motherless children that now looked to him as their only parental figure to guide them through their tumultuous childhood and into the even more choppy waters of adulthood. Not at his sister who'd up and died and left him her daughters – okay, maybe he was a little mad at his sister. When she'd asked him if he'd be okay with a place in her Last Will and Testament as a guardian to her daughters, he hadn't considered that she'd develop cancer and actually die before he even graduated college – or ever! All of the blocks toppled at once and Jellal felt completely buried.

“I just need a little time,” he'd said to the social worker.

“Don't you think these kids would love to have time at their disposal? They're children who just lost their mother and I don't think –”

“I lost my sister, too,” he'd snapped. “This is hard for me, too. Look, I'm doing my best. I can have everything done in maybe two months. I can finish my studies at a distance but I need time.”

She'd sighed and eyed him harshly over the tops of her bifocals. “You can have one month. After that you'll need to be here full time according to the attorney. My only interest is the children. We'll schedule follow-ups once you're here permanently.”

“I'm sorry,” he'd been so confused. Everything had been horribly confusing. “Attorney?”

“Didn't you know?” For the first time since they'd met, the social worker grinned. “There's a whole litany of things your sister set up before her death. Good luck, Mister Fernandes.” On his way out he thought for sure he'd heard her whisper, “You'll need it.”

The sale of his sister's house happened quicker than he could truly process. She hadn't wanted her daughters to grow up in the house where she'd died. He didn't know whether to curse her or bless her, but she'd prepared the children for the move. They wanted a say in the new house. Corralling two little girls together to view properties exhausted him more than any late night study session followed by a full day of classes ever had. By the time he had three positive votes on a house, he was ready to sign the papers right away. But there were roadblocks. Things like escrow and amortization and estate tax. Jellal didn't care about any of that. He just wanted to move. To settle.

Even now that they were in the house with all new things – his sister had left behind a sizable amount of money, a sum he couldn't quite comprehend – Jellal still felt out of control. The kitchen was tidy and sparkling. The girls' bedroom and playroom were perfect. The living room was as inviting as any he'd ever seen. They even had a mud room – Jellal hadn't even known what a mud room was until a month before. But his office? An utter nightmare. Boxes were still on the floor and books were stacked on every available surface. The office had been his only condition in a family home. Even the keyboard of his laptop was littered with printouts of resumes.

And that's how she found him. A messy postgrad student standing alone in his office, sifting through papers and books. His hair, though recently trimmed, stood mostly on end and his sweater wasn't quite enough to keep away the early October chill – he really needed drapes for the windows in the room before winter.

“Mister Fernandes?” she said softly from the door. He jumped. His fingers curled into the paper and wrinkled it.

“Yes?” Jellal straightened and cleared his throat. “Are you...” he trailed off and poked around the mess of papers again. “I'm so sorry, I don't...”

“Miss Scarlet,” she offered, stepping around the boxes between the door and his desk. He shook her hand briefly before realizing her resume was the one he'd crumpled. Of course it was.

“Forgive me, this office is a nightmare right now. I'm...” he trailed off again and pushed the fluffy cat from his chair. The cat belonged to his oldest niece. Though obviously a boy, she'd named him Lily.

“A mess?” her smile was distracting but the way the afternoon sun glinted off the violent red of her hair was even more distracting. “It's okay, I understand. I only recently graduated myself. I can't imagine going for a doctorate. I don't think I'd survive.”

Jellal removed his glasses, took a seat in his chair, and motioned to the one across from him. “It's exhausting,” he agreed, glancing over her resume quickly.

“I think I should just go ahead and tell you, Mister Fernandes, I don't have any experience in nannying.” She bit her lip and her shoulders fell. “Or even babysitting.”

He scanned her wrinkled resume and tried his best to flatten it out.

“I just thought I'd get that out there before... this went any further... Mister Fernandes?” Her expression was concerned curiosity when he finally looked up. He blinked.

“Well, of course you don't have experience,” he said incredulously. Her resume, besides having no experience, was impressive. She had a master's degree in early childhood development and had taken a brief position as a councilor at a Montessori School out of state. “You just graduated.”

“Lots of people want experience,” she offered helpfully. “And relevant references.”

“Oh.” He blinked again. “Well do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Have relevant references.”

“I just said I didn't.”

“Then why did you bring it up?

Her eyes narrowed and she licked her lips. “I'm sorry but do you have a clue what you're doing?”

“No.” Jellal sighed and leaned back in his chair.

“I see.” She shifted in her own chair and cleared her throat. “Maybe you could tell me a little more about what you're looking for in a nanny and I'll decide if I can handle that.”

“Right.” He sat up again and heaved a deep breath. “The oldest just turned seven. Yukino is only three, though, and for now she's staying with a babysitter down the street but I'd like for that to stop once I hire you. A bus comes for Sorano in the mornings at the corner around seven-thirty, and brings her home again at three-thirty-ish.”

“That sounds manageable,” she said with a nod. “What else?”

He fidgeted a bit before pressing on. “I'm hoping maybe for help with some extraneous kid-related things, too.”

“Like?”

“I am absolutely capable of handling my own laundry, I would never ask you to do that, but –” He sighed defeatedly. “Little girls just go through so many clothes. I can't keep up.”

“So laundry? I think I can handle that. What about meals?”

“Uh,” Jellal felt the tips of his ears burn. He hadn't expected the process of explaining how utterly inept he was to be so embarrassing. Maybe if Miss Scarlet were older and not so obviously an age peer he'd feel less exposed. “I'm afraid my skills in the kitchen are limited to pasta and sauce. The quality control department has put me on notice.”

Miss Scarlet stifled a laugh. “I think I can help out with that, too. I'll need a list of known allergies or any limitations or preferences.”

“Of course,'' he blurted. Did the children have allergies? He thought for sure he'd have been informed if either of them had life threatening allergies. “And, uh, I'm not sure about your living situation but the gable on the roof is actually a third floor apartment. The realtor called it a granny's quarters.” Jellal flushed. “But obviously you aren't a granny and I'm not asking you to –”

“I'll have a look. I've been staying at a hotel near the airport in Tacoma and haven't worked out residency yet.”

“Perfect.” Jellal suddenly stood and dislodged the array of resumes hanging over the edge of his desk. He scrambled to keep them from falling all over the floor but failed miserably. “I can show you the house now. The girls are down the street with Yukino's sitter. I told her I was doing interviews today and –”

“Can I meet them?”

“The sitter?”

“No, Mister Fernandes, the children.” Miss Scarlet smiled in a way that was almost a smirk.

“Right.” He stopped in front of her and hid his hands in his pockets. “Listen, I'm sure I come across as wildly unprofessional. I apologize if that's making you uncomfortable. Please just let me know what you need and I'll do my best to accommodate you.”

“I think we're probably on the same level there. Maybe if I had more experience with a position like this I would have a better feel of how to judge your situation. Why don't you show me the house and then we'll talk about salary and the things I need. If we can come to an agreement, I'd like to meet the kids and go from there.”

“That sounds great, Miss Scarlet.” He smiled and then she smiled and it was a great effort to turn away and lead her through the house.

Miss Scarlet's expression remained neutral throughout the entire tour until they reached the laundry room attached to the mud room. She quirked an eyebrow at the piles of clothes that hadn't been sorted at all. When they reached the front room, she began in a business-like voice.

“Who does your shopping?”

“Me.”

“I think you should let me do that.”

“Right. Okay.”

She eyed him closely before going on. “I'll need a minimum of five full days completely off duty for myself a month. I don't mind including the kids for small personal errands but the five days a month will be a requirement.”

“That sounds reasonable. If you need more, don't hesitate to bring it up.”

“I won't. Since you're looking for both a nanny and some general housekeeping during the week, I think a salary around –”

“I was thinking seven-eighty a week to start?” he blurted. It was more than his sister's attorney had recommended but after spending the last two hours with Miss Scarlet, Jellal didn't want anyone else. “There's a car in the garage that belonged to my sister and you can have full use of it for nanny stuff. And a phone. I can get you a phone. We can outfit the apartment on the third floor however you like.”

“What if I wanted a pet?”

Jellal blinked. He hadn't expected such a request. Did he care if she wanted a pet? She laughed lightly and the sound was the most levitating thing he'd heard in weeks.

“I'm kidding, Mister Fernandes. How –” The sound of the children bursting through the front door rattled in Jellal's skull. He still wasn't quite used to the way they charged into a room. His two nieces, followed by their exasperated sitter, stopped short in the archway between the living room and foyer.

“I'm sorry, Jellal, but Yuki is running a temperature and my daughter can't be exposed.”

“It's fine, Bisca, I can take it from here.” Though he'd expected it, Jellal was still surprised when Bisca offered Miss Scarlet her hand.

“You must be the new nanny,” she said with a wide smile. “I need to get back home to my daughter but I wanted to introduce myself. If you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask.”

“Well,” Jellal cut in. “She's not –”

“I'm Erza,” Miss Scarlet offered with her own smile. “And thank you!”

“Jellal is so green with these girls, they just stampede all over him sometimes,” Bisca added. Jellal wanted to usher his neighbor out the door but his mouth felt full of cotton. “We should have a drink on your soonest day off. I'd love a friend close by. My husband travels a lot and this neighborhood can be so cliquish.”

“I can imagine.”

Bisca finally took a few steps back and exhaled. “Well, I'll get out of your hair.” She turned to Jellal briefly. “I'm so glad you finally found someone, Jellal. You need it.”

Jellal's headache flared. He liked Bisca, and she was wonderful as a caregiver, but she talked a lot.

“It was nice meeting you,” Miss Scarlet said as the woman turned to leave. Jellal reached up for his glasses – the habit of wiping his lenses on his shirt when nervous was an old one – but remembered he'd left them in his office. The two nearly identical girls stared wide eyed at Miss Scarlet. Only Yukino moved toward her and slid a hand into hers.

“I'm so sorry about Bisca,” Jellal offered. “She has a way of commanding a room.”

“It's fine, Mister Fernandes.” She glanced over the children who only blinked in silence. Jellal couldn't recall the house ever being so quiet since they'd moved in.

“Are you really our new nanny?” Sorano asked, scooping Lily up from the floor.

“Well –”

Jellal cleared his throat. “Yes. I mean, if she wants.”

Miss Scarlet's mouth twitched into a grin. Yukino still clutched at her hand. Around her neck was the ever present purple feather boa she loved so much. It was flecked with silver foil and she wore it nearly everywhere.

“I think we have a deal, Mister Fernandes.”

“When can you start?”

“Are you fun?” Sorano blurted. “The last lady was old.”

Miss Scarlet quirked an eyebrow. “Old?”

“Like super old,” Sorano rolled her eyes dramatically. “Will you take us places? And can we do fun stuff outside?”

“Um, yeah, we can do that.”

“Are you gonna live above us in the room with the sink?”

“Room with the sink?”

Jellal curbed the instinct to sigh. “She means the apartment on the third floor. It's not a room with a sink, that's a kitchenette.”

“Whatever.” Sorano shrugged.

“I think so,” Miss Scarlet answered. “Your uncle and I still have some details to work out.”

“I'm hungry. Let me know when we can eat something that's not spaghetti for dinner.” Sorano wandered off toward the kitchen. Yukino giggled at Erza's side and, still clutching her hand, gazed up at her with wide brown eyes.

“Sorano is opinionated,” Jellal offered. “I think it's part of her package.”

“It's fine, Mister Fernandes.”

Yukino yawned and tugged on the edge of Jellal's sweater. She finally released Miss Scarlet and reached upwards at him. With minimal awkwardness he pulled her into his arms and she settled against his hip.

“I've got to get her in bed,” he said apologetically. “When were you looking to start?”

“I had my things shipped to a storage unit and they're scheduled to arrive early next week. I can have the truck re-routed here, if that's okay?”

“That's fine.”

“And I can start in two days. I have some other things I should handle first.”

“Of course. I'll get someone upstairs to clean everything out for you before Friday.”

“Perfect! I'll make a list of items I need from you to make things run a little more smoothly and email it to you.” Jellal's mind raced. He had no idea what she meant.

“Don't worry, Mister Fernandes, it's just stuff like signed letters to present at doctor's appointments and to the school. I'll provide the letters and you'll just need to sign them.”

“Thank you so much, Miss Scarlet, I really apologize for being so unprepared.”

“Under the circumstances, I think I can let it slide.” If she hadn't been smiling at him, he'd have felt like a heel. Miss Scarlet turned to leave but stopped at the archway. “And, please, we'll be seeing a lot of one another. Call me Erza.”

“Right,” he blurted. “Erza.” Yukino laughed softly and poked him in the shoulder. “I'm Jellal. You can just call me that.”

“I'll get that list to you by tomorrow, Jellal,” Erza waved at Yukino before leaving them alone in the living room.

“She's got pretty hair,” Yukino whispered just before yawning.

“She does,” Jellal murmured, tucking her under his chin. “Let's get you in bed, okay? Want a movie?” Yukino nodded and sighed softly.

Winter

He found her alone at the dining table - the fancy one they never used because children plus carpet plus food weren't always a good combination. She was hunched over with her chin resting on her arms that were folded on the table. In front of her was an open shipping box, emptied, and a prettily wrapped holiday gift. Jellal took a seat across from her and slid one of the hot mugs toward her side of the table. Ezra took a surprisingly long gulp of the hot toddy before smirking.

"How did you know I'd need a stiff drink before opening this package?"

"Call it a lucky guess," he answered with a grin. "You've been sitting here since you got home and I've been trying to work out how soon I could join you before you wouldn't think I'm nosey for offering."

Ezra sighed and swirled the mix of whiskey, honey, and tea in her mug.

"It's that bad, huh?"

"Nothing from my mother is ever completely good."

"So no chance of an innocuous gift of socks or a pen set you'll never use?"

"I would never be so lucky."

Jellal poked the box around in a circle with his fingers. "It's pretty at least."

"She would never send something ugly." Erza sat up straight and chugged the rest of her drink and set the mug aside. "Time to do the adult thing, I guess."

Jellal quirked an eyebrow but followed suit with his own drink. The whiskey already made him feel on the fuzzier side. He watched Erza shred the paper more than truly necessary. The gift box was small and inside was an envelope. She scowled before opening the envelope and scowled even more when she peeked inside.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," she blurted and then flushed. "Sorry."

"The girls are asleep, it's fine." Jellal couldn't quite help the way he leaned forward on the heel of his hand and smiled - he would've been able to help it if he weren't riding a whiskey buzz but that was neither here nor there. Erza stuffed the envelope back into the gift box and unceremoniously tossed it back into the shipping box along with the shreds of gift wrap.

"No pens or socks?"

"Nope," she said with an annoyed finality. "Plane tickets."

"Is she offering a vacation? Because if you need time off -"

Erza laughed loosely and stood. "I'll need a second drink to explain it."

He followed her into the kitchen. Erza skipped the tea and poured only whiskey first for herself before handing over the bottle. After a sip, she grinned.

"The plane tickets are twofold. She wants me back home and by only sending the tickets and nothing else she's letting me know my life here, and my stuff, aren’t important. Everything is replaceable to her and if it doesn't fit into her box, it doesn't matter."

"All that from plane tickets?"

"My mother is a complex woman, Jellal, I learned to play the game early in life."

"I'm starting to think my sister was the same way."

"Did she not approve of your field of study?"

"I don't think she cared one way or the other. But I do think she knew she was dying long before ever telling anyone but her attorney."

"Women are excellent secret keepers."

"She left me enough to pay off all my loans and to live comfortably as long as I stay here and raise her daughters. Your salary comes from the trust. Everything to do with this house and the girls comes from a trust I have nothing to do with. I'm not privy to exactly how much there is or how it works. I've only been told there's enough."

"Wow," Erza said, leaning against the counter. "My mother is at least transparent if you know how to look at her. She came by her money when my father died."

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks," she said before finishing off her whiskey. "But I didn't even know the guy. He was gone before I was out of diapers. For all I know she killed him."

Jellal stared at her in a baffled stupor.

"I'm kidding," Erza laughed. "Kind of. I just don't know what happened except that he's dead and mom controls the money."

"Well, we have that in common then." Jellal divided the remaining whiskey between their mugs. "What will you do?"

"Throw the boxes away and pretend they don't exist."

"Is that your own message to her?"

"It's my way of not responding to what isn’t the first or last attempt by her to control my life. I agreed to go to school at home in California and I took a job she approved of!" Erza was visibly more sloshy than she'd been twenty minutes before. "I even got engaged!"

Jellal quirked an eyebrow. He'd been curious about Erza for months. Most of his questions revolved around why such an educated woman was seeking employment as a nanny when she was so grossly over qualified. He could admit he had an inappropriate crush on her and the mention of a fiancé intrigued him.

"And yet, here you are husbandless."

"Smooth, Jellal," she said around another laugh. "He was a possessive idiot. I wanted to work, he said no. I demanded to work, he told me I was difficult."

"Are you?"

"What?"

"Difficult."

Erza turned to face him fully and bit her lip in a grin. "You tell me."

"I find you extremely easy to get along with and a delight to be around." Completely without reservation he reached up to touch a strand of her hair that clung to the fleece shoulder of her sweater. "Even if you do shock me sometimes to make yourself laugh."

"That's just part of my charm," she said softly, inching toward him. "And you're easy to fool. You take everything literally."

"My mother insisted I was a charming boy but far too serious as a student. She passed away almost ten years ago."

"I'm sorry," Erza whispered.

He shrugged. "It's been a long time and she had a happy life."

"So there's parts of you that aren't lost up in the stars?" Erza blushed and cleared her throat when he tilted his head to the right. He didn't remember telling her his field of study. "You left some books out a few weeks ago. I was curious."

"I wouldn't have minded if you'd asked."

"I didn't want to pry."

"I wouldn't have considered it prying."

She smiled again and leaned into the brush of his fingers against her cheek. "What are you studying, Jellal?"

"Astrophysics."

"Sounds complicated."

"There's a lot of complicated parts of my life but astrophysics isn't one of them."

"Yeah?"

"For example, my current conundrum."

"Which is?"

"You."

"What about me?"

"I can't seem to stop thinking about you in a way an employer should never think of his nanny."

"That's an interesting coincidence," Erza said wrapping her fingers around his wrist. "Because I can't seem to stop thinking about you in a way a nanny should never think of her employer."

She didn't pull his hand away and when his fingertips brushed the curve of her neck she only tightened her grip on his wrist. Jellal moved like a man who'd never kissed anyone before, even though he had plenty of experience. The awkwardness didn't ease off until his lips finally pressed against hers. She tasted like whiskey and honey and tea and when she parted her lips to kiss him back there was a hint of the peppermint candies Yukino liked to crunch on when she needed a sugar fix in the late afternoon.

Erza was intoxicating. Even more so than the whiskey in his stomach. Her arms looped around his neck and Jellal didn't realize his hand had slipped beneath the bottom of her fleece sweatshirt until the pads of his fingers made contact with her back. He pulled her flush against him and the sound that came from her mouth flipped his stomach upside down. There was something about the way she kissed him and the way her hair slid through his fingers. He liked that her eyes smiled right along with her mouth and how she was so completely competent in all the ways he wasn't.

The sound of Lily's claws skittering across the floor tiles shattered the moment. Erza gasped and jumped back. She blinked and her hand flew to her lips in surprise.

"Am I fired?" she gasped in horror.

Jellal's head still felt full of the taste of her lips and he took a moment to focus past the memory and the lingering buzz. "What? No!" He exclaimed, stumbling over the words. "Why would you be fired?"

"For sexually harassing you," she whispered.

"You... you think you were sexually harassing me? Jesus, Erza, I think by all standards I was the one sexually harassing you! I'm so sorry!"

"No, no, you're just drunk!"

"That's not really better."

Erza bit her lip again and raked a hand through her hair. "We're both not quite... sober."

Jellal took a step back from her and hid his hands in his pockets. He didn't want to move away from her but he had to. "What can I do to fix it? Please don't quit."

"I don't want to quit," she whispered.

"Erza, I swear I can do better than this. I'm not a guy who just blunders ahead kissing people with no thoughts on - I mean, I realize that's what I just did but -"

She reached out suddenly and gripped his forearm. "Stop."

"Okay," he whispered, unable to disobey her.

"We're both adults. I work for you and there's a mutual attraction. We had some drinks and had a moment. We can get past this."

"Yeah," he agreed, even though he didn't actually want to get past anything. He wanted to kiss her again. Cold reality rattled in his head when Lily hopped up to the counter between them. "I actually had a reason for coming down here." Erza released his arm and pulled Lily against her chest. "And that was?"

"I'm going away for two weeks. I need to complete the last of this credit before the new year. Everything after that can be done with my professor here but I can't get around the requirement." Jellal scrubbed his hands over his face and sighed. He felt sober in his head but his body still hummed. "I'll be back three days before Christmas."

"I can handle all that. Sorano's winter break starts in a couple of days."

"I need to be back in Palo Alto by next Monday so I'm flying out on Sunday. I was hoping to get a ride to the airport with you and the girls?"

"I think Yukino would like that. She'll miss you."

"She's attached." Jellal sighed. "That's why I, we can't lose you, Erza. I'm sorry for kissing you."

"I care about the girls, and you," she tacked on quickly. "I shouldn't have let you kiss me."

Jellal nodded. "I'll email you my itinerary."

"Yeah."

They stood silently in the kitchen before Erza swept past him still clutching Lily to her chest.

He hadn't expected to feel homesick after only a week in Palo Alto but when his mind wasn't detangling theory, he was stuck back in Seattle. Were the girls okay? He knew they were. Yukino, and even Sorano, Skyped him almost every night. Despite her independent nature, Sorano asked him more than once when he was coming back. Erza was always in the background, folding down sheets and blankets. He couldn't help but get hung up on the way wisps of hair fell around her face as she leaned over the beds. The trails of scarlet had almost all his attention when his nieces spiraled into the inevitable scuffle.

"Will you be home for Christmas?" Yukino asked, adjusting her purple boa.

"I'll be home on the twenty-second," Jellal said, adjusting his glasses and glancing over his phone calendar. "That's in five more days."

"Five days?" Yukino whispered fretfully. "Are you sure you won't forget?"

"He's an astrologer, Yuki, he only forgets silly stuff like scarves," Sorano corrected. Erza could be heard in the background laughing.

"I promise I won't forget."

"Can we do the cookies when you get home? Erza said we should wait for you."

“That sounds like fun." Jellal's phone chimed with a message from his classmate. "Alright, girls, pass me off to Erza. I think it's probably bedtime."

There was a combined chorus of protests and the tablet was left to fall on its back. For several moments all he could see was the ceiling but he heard Erza coaxing the girls into bed. The room went dark and he saw nothing at all until the low light of the hallway made the falling bun of Erza's hair glow.

"So what's your sign?" He asked in the flirtatious tone that seemed to sneak into all their private Skype conversations.

"That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard," she said with a laugh.

"I just figured that since I’m an astrologer now I should try and calculate your future."

Erza laughed again softly and propped the tablet against the lamp he knew sat on the tea table beside the living room couch. She leaned against the arm and gathered her hair over her shoulder.

"I'm a Taurus."

Jellal tapped out a quick google search and ignored the messages from his classmate. "According to my crystal ball, you're patient, sensible, and reliable with an excellent sense of humor."

"Does it count as a sense of humor when it's just me saying things to throw you off guard for my own pleasure?"

"I think it does."

"What does your crystal ball say about my immediate future."

"I'm seeing strawberry vanilla macarons and the chamomile tea you save for just before bed."

Erza's cheeks dusted a shade pink he recognized even in the lamplight. "That's a very observant crystal ball you have there."

"It wouldn't be doing its job if it weren't observant. It helps that the subject is so captivating," he said softly.

"And what about you?" she asked in a low volume that matched his. "What's in your future?"

"A boring chat with a classmate and a night of exhausting study. The ball is clouded, though, which means I'm distracted."

"By what?"

"Everything I miss that's not here," he hedged.

"You'll be back soon."

"Yeah." The word came out as a whisper and his phone chimed again.

"You should answer that." Erza sat up and glanced over her shoulder toward the kitchen. "I'm late for my date with cookies and tea."

"Right."

"Goodnight," she said with half a grin.

"Goodnight, Erza." When her image disappeared, Jellal flipped over on his back. He had work to do but he couldn't think of anything other than strawberry vanilla macarons and chamomile tea.

Yukino took the longest to fall asleep. She wouldn't let go of his sweater sleeve until her eyes drifted closed. Her purple boa had been passed down to the stuffed polar bear that sat at the foot of her bed along with the remains of the candy and trinkets that filled her stocking earlier that morning. The new boa, a bright pink one, hung from the post of her headboard.

Sorano's blankets were tangled around her knees and ankles. She scowled in her sleep when he pulled everything free and tucked her in properly. Despite being difficult sometimes she was just as insecure as Yukino. She slept surrounded by an army of stuffed animals. None of them matched but she always noticed when one went missing.

Jellal took one last look around the room before pulling the door closed. The second floor tended to be the warmest in the house but he wasn't quite ready to be alone just yet.

He found Erza stretched across the couch with Lily on her chest. Her fingers smoothed over the grouch of a cat's downy ears. The rainbow sweater Sorano had picked out for him was draped over the pillows behind Erza’s head. Lily probably hassled Erza to get it off him the second Sorano was out of view. Jellal could hear the rumbling purr from the archway.

"That cat is a ham," he said, taking a seat on the floor near her feet. She wore the fuzzy socks he'd given her to make up for her mother’s gift of plane tickets. He owed her a much better gift for taking such good care of his nieces but the socks made her smile.

Christmas was a wholly different experience with children. The day started early and now all he wanted was this.

"He and I have grown to love one another." As if to drive the point home, Lily stretched one paw toward Erza's shoulder and squeezed his yellow eyes shut. "See? He's a sweetheart."

"He's an old grouch that only likes girls."

"I think you're jealous."

"Very." Jellal grinned at her boldly. "He's got the best seat in the house." Since his return from Palo Alto the Skype flirting had turned into something much more tangible.

Erza rolled her eyes and hefted Lily up to the back cushions. He protested but resettled quickly. Jellal twisted around and crawled over her. She was soft beneath him and her fingertips lightly traced the tattoo that stretched over his eye and cheek.

"I know we agreed to -"

"Get past this?" she finished with a breath.

"I don't know if I want to."

"I definitely don't want to."

When he kissed her this time there wasn't a drop of alcohol in his system. The sticky fuzz in his head was all Erza. She was sharp like peppermint and sweet like sugar cookies and rich like red velvet. He knew he shouldn't take too much but she bent her leg and he felt her thigh press into his side. Erza didn't let him simply lay over her and take. Her hands were beneath his sweater and he knew she felt him hardening between her legs.

The sound of her ringtone was jarring. Erza slid her arms around his waist quickly and trapped him between her thighs.

"Who's that?" He breathed against her lips.

"It's nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

The phone went silent and he felt her smile. But she groaned loudly when the ringtone started over a moment later. Jellal dropped his mouth to her neck and left three kisses before pulling back.

"You really should take that. It could be important."

Erza exhaled harshly and snatched her phone from the tea table. "Mom always ruins everything." Her eyes found his again and she was apologetic. "I'm sorry. She won't go away unless I speak to her."

"It's fine," he said scooting back to the other side of the couch. "We really shouldn't -"

"No," she whispered. "We shouldn't. Merry Christmas, Jellal."

Erza cleared the living room and he heard her finally take her mother's call on the way up to her apartment. Jellal glared at Lily who only swished his tail.

"Somehow I think think this is your fault," he said to the old cat. Jellal stood and pulled the lamp cord before taking the stairs back up to the second floor. His bed was cold but what did he expect? The idea of warming it with Erza was ludicrous. He did actually know better than to dry hump her on the couch where either one of the girls could see.

No more kissing. No more anything. He was a grown man with sense. No more making out with the nanny.

He could, however, tend to the hard problem between his own legs. In his head he could have her any way he wanted with no repercussions. Professional or otherwise.

The girls never made it to midnight. Jellal rung in the new year alone while Erza, Sorano, and Yukino slept on the couch. One at a time he transferred his nieces to their beds and when he returned downstairs alone, Erza was awake and confused.

“Did I miss everything?”

“More or less,” he said with a grin, swooping down to pick up the piles of throw pillows that had been kicked to the floor by little feet. “I expected as much from the kids but you, Erza? Disgraceful.”

“I suppose I'm getting up there in age,” she agreed with a sigh.

“Maybe we should go back to calling the third floor a granny’s quarters.” He wasn’t fast enough to dodge the pillow lobbed at his head.

“I was going to offer you some of the belated Christmas gift I got from a friend but now I don't think you deserve it.” She stood and fluffed her hair.

“If it's more macarons I think I can live without the extra sugar.”

“Not even close,” Erza laughed. “Come upstairs with me and bring some glasses.”

Jellal grabbed two of the small glasses typically reserved for juice and followed Erza to the third floor. He hadn't been up to her apartment since just before she moved in. Considering recent developments he wondered if he should really be up on the third floor at all.

He stopped at the open doorway and almost didn't recognize the space. She’d filled it with her own belongings and everything about it screamed Erza.

“Wow,” he murmured. “I never thought this suite would look like anything other than an empty dorm.

“I’m taking that as a compliment,” she said pulling a box from the cabinet above her small refrigerator. It had a gold leaf logo embossed on the side he couldn't quite make out.

“I meant it as one.” Erza smiled at him and waved him over to her table - or maybe it was a desk. However she used it, the thing was solid wood and he appreciated the deep cherry of the grain. Erza opened this gift box with much more care than the one sent by her mother.

“My best friend from childhood married a guy who's family owns a vineyard. She sends me bottles of all kinds of stuff. This brandy is her new favorite thing.” She peeled back the foil and twisted the cap off. Jellal handed over the glasses and when she poured small portions he caught the hints of vanilla. Upon closer inspection, the scent was very strong. He was glad the stuff tasted sweeter than it smelled.

“I’m not much of a brandy drinker but this is nice.”

“Yeah?” Erza knocked back the whole measure at once and took a moment to form her own assessment. “This is totally not my thing,” she said with a laugh even as she poured a second round.,

“It's a nice bottle though.” He picked up the bottle and inspected the label.

“She’s got entire shelves filled with fancy bottles.”

“Full ones?”

“Oh, no,” she laughed again. “Mirajane’s always been a bit of a lush. The bottles probably don't have time to collect dust and sit in various states of half-empty.”

“So she has an experienced palette?”

“Indeed.” Erza said leaving her empty glass beside his on the table. “I asked you up here for two reasons, actually. The brandy was only half of it.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“You.” She shook her head and tossed her hair. “Us. I mean, this.” Erza gestured between the two of them. “We’re both adults and this thing where we kiss and hump like teenagers on the couch and then back away like it was nothing but a big oops is ridiculous.”

She was speaking very fast and Jellal quirked an eyebrow. He’d never seen her both determined and buzzed before.

“I like you, Jellal, but I also like my job. I can’t keep up with these random moments of crashing into one another.”

“Erza -”

She pressed a hand to his chest and shook her head. “I have a solution.”

“Oh,” he breathed in relief. For a moment he thought she'd planned on telling him everything was over as her New Year's resolution, which, he recognized would be completely fair. Her hand slid over his chest and up to his shoulder.

“I can compartmentalize if you can. During the day nothing changes. I do my job, and you finish your degree. Once the girls are in bed, we can set aside time.” She bit her lip in reservation. “Right? That’s a good plan, yeah? I can’t take wild abandon, Jellal. It’s too risky.”

“You really thought this through.”

“I’m sensible, remember?” She smiled and suddenly there wasn’t much space between them. “I can’t have an affair with my boss if there’s no plan.”

“This is how I know I made the right choice hiring you, Erza,” he whispered, seeking her lips. “You're so smart and practical.

Kissing Erza was the most selfish brand of wish fulfillment. He shouldn’t be in her apartment at all much less tangling his fingers in her hair. They’d never been so alone before and the palms of his hands didn't hesitate to find the bare skin beneath her shirt. Erza’s fingers hooked in the belt loops of his pants and she separated her lips from his. Her eyes pinned him to the floor as she pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside. Jellal followed her across the small living space into her bedroom and his shirt joined hers on the floor.

All of her skin was soft and he took the opportunity to kiss every inch of it. She had a symphony of gasps and sighs. He hoped he'd have the opportunity to hear them all. Erza was practically perfect in every way. Where he pushed, she pulled. When he breathed in, she breathed out. She was both overwhelming and precise. The feel of her body beneath him was so much more exquisite now that there were no layers between them but the real delicacy of the evening was her weight above him. Erza had a touch that seared him all the way though. Her final sigh of the night was possibly the most decadent thing he’d heard in his life.

Scarlet touched him everywhere and he curled strands of it around his fingers. Erza hadn’t moved off him and he wasn’t going to be the one to break the spell of the moment. Finally she leveled her eyes with his and kissed him in a way that made him want her again.

“Can we do this?” She asked against his lips. “Or was tonight a New Year's one off?”

“I can keep the downstairs and upstairs separate, Erza. I like you too and I don't have one offs. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t feel something.”

Erza smiled and kissed him again, softer this time. “You should go before you fall asleep and the girls find us up here.”

“Have they come up here on their own before?”

“Only a couple of times while you were away. But if they woke up and you weren’t in your room, the next place they'd hit would be here.”

“I’m sure you’re right.” Even as he said so, he didn't move. She kissed him once more before sitting up and tucking the sheet under her arms. Jellal gathered his clothes and stood. “I’ll see you at breakfast, Erza.” She grinned and fell backwards into her pillows. It wasn’t until he crawled beneath his own blankets that he realized he'd left his t-shirt on the third floor.

Spring

“Why do I have to make one for everybody in my class?” Sorano asked from her seat at the kitchen table. “I don't even like everybody!”

“Because it’s polite,” Jellal said over his shoulder. Dinner looked questionable but Erza had the night off. He already had the pizza delivery app open just in case things went south.

“Sometimes being polite sucks,” Sorano declared, sealing off the last envelope. Yukino giggled from her spot across from her sister where she drew sloppy pink and red hearts over Sorano’s extra cards.

“That's a sad fact of life,” Jellal muttered.

“What’s for dinner?” Her voice was from directly beside him now. Sorano leaned over and peered into the pan. “Should it smell like that?” She whispered.

“I followed all Erza’s instructions.” Jellal slighted and transferred the cut of meat to a board. “Let’s find out.” The beef was crisp and brown on the outside but the inside was another story.

“I think it’s still mooing,” Sorano said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I think you’re right.” He hated to waste the meat so he moved it to a baking dish for Erza to sort out another time. “Pizza then?”

“I’ll get your phone.”

Jellal spun around and took a seat next to Yukino. “These are pretty.”

“Thanks!” She pushed an especially garish one toward him and tossed the edge of her pink feather boa over her shoulder. “This one’s for you.”

“For me?” He exclaimed. “Thank you! I’ll put it on my desk.”

“Are you gonna make Erza a card, Uncle Jellal?” She asked softly. Innocently. Even though she couldn’t possibly know how he spent his late nights, the question still floored him.

“Why would I make Erza a Valentine’s Day card?” He tried to pose the query as casually as possible.

“Because you like her hair.” Yukino glanced up at him and smiled in her sweet way. “Is red your favorite color?”

“Well -”

Sorano leaned over the table and passed Jellal his phone. “You look at Erza the way the farm boy looks at Buttercup in that movie Yukino likes so much.”

“I don't -”

“Can we order pizza now?” Sorano cut him off and he wasn’t altogether sorry.

The three of them ate at the kitchen table and afterward Jellal helped Sorano pack away her cards in her backpack. Erza didn’t return home until very late. Jellal was already in his bed with his laptop when she stopped by his bedroom door on her way upstairs.

“I’m assuming the pizza boxes in the garbage are a good indicator that dinner didn’t turn out?”

Jellal pulled the glasses from his face and began to clean the lenses. “I don’t think a successful roast is ever in my future.”

“Did your crystal ball tell you that?” She asked softly with a grin that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“No, Sorano did. I put it back in the fridge. Maybe it’s salvageable.”

“Maybe.” Erza fidgeted with the cuffs of her jacket.

“What’s wrong?”

“My mom flew up to see me,” she whispered. Jellal tried to keep his reaction as calm as possible. “I had dinner with her tonight.”

“And how did that go?”

Erza sighed heavily and Jellal set aside his glasses and closed his laptop. He crossed the room and pulled her gently beyond the door and pushed it closed.

“You don’t have to talk about it, Erza,” he whispered, leaving a kiss on her forehead. “I’ve never seen you this down before.”

“We fought. She backed off in the end but I don’t think everything she said was wrong.” Erza’s eyes were wary and he hated it. He didn’t like acknowledging that their relationship was not only deeply flawed but possibly temporary. “She accused me of fucking my boss to pad my resume.”

Jellal tried to remain impassive but he knew he failed miserably. “Is that -”

“No, of course not!” Erza scowled and pushed past him. She shrugged off her jacket and tossed it on an empty chair. “I don’t mean to be rude, Jellal, but I could have a job in just about any school in Seattle if I wanted. When it comes to early education I don’t have to pad anything.”

Jellal wished his pajama pants had pockets. His hands landed on his hips because he didn’t know where else to put them. “Is that what you want? I don’t think I can match a proper salary or benefits or -”

Erza’s arms slid around his waist and she pressed her face into his chest. “I’m not saying that’s what I want. I don’t even think she meant what she said.”

“How does she know that we - I mean -”

“My mother is a shrewd woman. She probably has an actual crystal ball. She said my life is out of control and I don’t know what I’m doing.” When Erza pulled away her cheeks were wet. “She’s right, Jellal, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“This is my fault. I should’ve never -”

“We went into this together, Jellal,” she whispered. “I hate that she made me feel insecure about a decision I - we made. My feelings haven’t changed.”

The words were heavy on the tip of his tongue and he couldn’t have stopped them if he’d tried. “I don’t think mine ever will.” It was a dangerously bold thing to admit but he didn’t regret it.

Her mouth didn’t fall open. Her eyes didn’t widen. She only kissed his lips and took his confession inside of her. For better or worse, Erza never made it up to the third floor that night.

She didn't mention her mother again and Jellal didn’t ask. He thought if she had more to say on the matter, she’d bring it up herself.

Jellal’s intent wasn't to eavesdrop. The hour was late and after spending most of his day stuck in his office, he’d only meant to seek her out to say good night. He heard Erza’s voice first and her mother’s over a phone speaker second.

“Mom, it doesn’t matter. I need to be on my own.”

“Oh, honey, you aren’t on your own. You’ve gone from living off one trust to another. This one just comes with an attractive employer who doesn’t mind fishing off the company dock.”

“I’m not a fish, mother.”

“I never said you were, Erza, it’s a figure of speech. I just think -”

“I already know what you think,” Erza snapped. “You said enough at dinner last week. I need you to give me space.”

“Erza, love, the last time I gave you space you brought home Simon. How can I be sure this Fernandes man isn’t the same type? He is dabbling with the help.”

“I’m not - wait, what?” Jellal heard a fumbling noise and what sounded like blankets being shaken out. “What do you mean about Simon? I dated him to please you!”

“Why on earth would you think an oaf like that would please me? Both he and his father were insufferable.”

“But… He was in my class and a legacy and -”

“Honestly, Erza, sometimes I think you don’t know me at all.”

“That’s the most relatable thing you’ve ever said to me,” Erza muttered.

“I think it’s possible we’re both reading the same book, love, but we’re on very different pages. I trust your judgement when it comes to what you do with your degree or where you find employment. You are a capable woman in all ways.”

“Mom,” Erza’s whisper was the quiet kind that came before tears.

“I only worry that give too freely. You’re a natural nurturer, Erza. This man, your employer, what does he want from you? What does he stand to gain by having you in his bed? Is he the type to get bored and put you out?”

“No,” she said quickly. “I don’t think so.”

“Do you love him?”

“I -”

Jellal couldn’t catch a breath. He really should’ve left Erza to her phone call but his feet felt as if they were cemented to the floor.

“Does he love you?” Her mother pressed.

“I don’t know.”

Jellal’s stomach and heart sank. How could she not know? He supposed that would be because he’d never explicitly told her.

“Can we continue this another night, mom? It’s been a long day.”

Jellal didn’t stick around to hear the conclusion. He also had no interest in getting caught in the stairwell. As quickly and quietly as possible he retreated to his bedroom on the second floor.

Just after midnight the door cracked open and Erza slid through the darkness and under his blankets. Nothing was kept quarantined on the third floor anymore. Secrets were so hard. Her hands didn’t wander beneath his clothes and her kisses weren’t lustful precursors. She didn’t say a word before tucking herself into his side.

When Jellal woke in the morning, she was gone and the sheets were cold.

The cupcake top smeared with green icing for Saint Patrick’s Day left Jellal’s fingers stained with color. He stopped off in the bathroom on the ground floor of the building but couldn’t quite soap away the green. He supposed the embarrassment of green fingertips was not worse than hurting Yukino’s feelings if he’d rejected the offering.

His sister’s attorney occupied the entire seventh floor. Jellal wondered how a woman like Ms. Milkovich managed to retain such a friendly receptionist when he’d pegged her for a shark on their first meeting. The receptionist showed him down the hallway and through the office doors - no conference room this time.

“Mister Fernandes,” Ms. Mlkovich purred, standing from her desk and offering her hand. She waited for him to come to her with a smile like knives. “How’s everything coming along at home?” She asked as if she didn’t already know. “I understand that soon I’ll need to address you as Doctor Fernandes?”

“Mister if fine,” he muttered.

“Whatever you prefer.” She pointed at a cluster of chairs. Her nails were a deep blood red. The cushioned chairs felt as if they’d swallow him up. “What can I do for you today, Mister Fernandes?”

“I, uh, I just needed some clarifications on what happens once I graduate. I received an email from -”

“Navient, I assume? Your student loans and associated debts have been handled, Mister Fernandes.”

“Right. Well, I don't exactly know -”

“You’re free to seek whatever employment you like.”

“As long as we stay in Seattle.”

“Those are the conditions of the trust, yes. I’m sure someone like yourself won’t have a problem landing a position. Especially when the salary isn’t as much of a concern as it would be for someone else.”

“The trust does relieve those types of concerns, yes.”

“How is Miss Scarlet working out for you?” Jellal wasn’t sure if Ms. Milkovich’s expression sharpened or if it was his conflicted conscience that made it seem so.

“She’s great. The girls love her and she handles everything I can’t.”

“She’s a lovely woman.”

“Uh,” Jellal readjusted himself in his chair. “She is.”

“Very capable.”

“Yes.”

“Incredibly overqualified for her position, though. I can’t imagine what sorts of perks you had to offer her besides going over the suggested salary we discussed.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Ms. Milkovich sighed in a deceptively casual way. “Have you spent much time with her?”

“I do see her every day.”

“Will you keep her on when Yukino starts school in the fall?”

Jellal’s mouth hung open dumbly. His mind wheeled.

“You won’t need a full-time nanny once the little one is in school.”

“I - I hadn’t considered -”

“I wouldn't imagine you’ve considered much at all Mister Fernandes. Has Miss Scarlet grown on you?”

“She -” Jellal deflated and wanted to implode in on himself. “I slept with her.”

“Of course you did.”

“It's been going on for months.”

“These things happen.” Her tone was sympathetic but her mouth was positively deadly.

“It’s completely unethical.”

“And why is that? Did you force her?”

“No! It’s nothing like that!”

“So she willingly seduced her employer?”

“It’s not like that either!”

“Then tell me how it is, Mister Fernandes. What exactly is the bee in your bonnet? Is it that you’ve become a ridiculously cliche man who bangs the nanny?”

“That’s a crass way of putting it.”

Ms. Milkovich shrugged. “If it helps, she’s technically an employee of the estate, not you. I suppose if you truly wanted to get technical, you’re an employee of the estate, as well.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You provide a service for the deceased’s children. You raise them and see them safely into adulthood and their own inheritance in exchange for your life as it currently is. Resources, Mister Fernandes. I work for the children in trust until they come of age, and you work for me. Technically, Miss Scarlet works for me, as well.”

“Are you going to fire her?” He whispered in horror.

“Why would a fire a woman who, by all accounts, we are lucky to have?” Ms. Milkovich straightened in her chair. “Mister Fernandes, I don't care what you and Miss Scarlet do on your own time. If you want to keep her on as a caregiver even after Yukino starts school, that’s not my concern. I can’t deny that the children benefit from her presence, and as I’ve said before the best interests of the children are my job.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

Ms. Milkovich stood and smoothed her skirt. “Find a therapist if you’re so conflicted, Mister Fernandes. You can certainly afford one.”

Summer

The girls had been giggling and calling him Doctor for days. Jellal didn’t think he felt any different, though. He’d been offered a position at the University of Washington, which, felt sudden but he had no reason to decline. The commute would be taxing but he was already familiar with the department.

Yukino’s fourth birthday party was a day filled with pink and purple feathers, balloons, and a display of cupcakes that took up half the kitchen table. Erza had handled the guest list and planning. Everything went smoothly until Jellal found himself cornered in the kitchen by the mother of a child in one of his niece’s playgroups. He didn’t know her name at all, which made the whole situation worse.

“I find it hard to believe an attractive man like yourself will be a single father for long,” she said, licking a glob of pink icing off her fingertip.

“Well, I’m not really looking to -”

“Men always say that. Everybody’s looking for something.”

“I’m pretty busy actually. The girls, and school, and now this new job -”

“I heard you had a fancy job in the city.”

“Well, Bellevue is still part of the city so -”

She closed in on him like a tiger. “You talk a lot.” She leaned against the counter next to him so that they were touching. “Maybe we could go out sometime and do less talking?”

A spike in the sound of children shrieking startled him but the woman didn’t budge an inch.

“I think, uh -”

“Hey, Jenny,” Bisca’s voice made him jump and he’d never been happier to have the woman grab the room by the horns. “Your daughter is out there smearing blue shaving cream all over her cute little dress.”

“It’s wa-” Jellal snapped his mouth shut when Bisca's glared at him.

The woman, Jenny, smiled up at him once more before brushing past Bisca.

“You really know how to get yourself in a pickle don’t you, Jellal?” She asked, plucking one of the last cupcakes up for herself.

“I was just standing in here! She descended on me!”

“What’s going on?” Erza appeared in the doorway with a half-empty trash bag.

“Jellal got caught in Jenny’s net,” Bisca said with a wink.

“Oh, no, Jellal, I’m so sorry!’ Erza laughed. “I should’ve warned you about her.”

“She’s a predator.”

“You look like you came out of it okay,” Erza said with a smirk. She reached under the sink for a new trash bag and poked him in the ribs on her way back out to the party.

“You two seem close,” Bisca said offhandedly, peeling back the cupcake paper.

Jellal’s ears burned. “Do we? I mean, she’s here all the time so -”

“It’s important to like the people who take care of the kids.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“How long have you guys been together?”

Jellal froze. “Well she was hired last fall -”

“No, Jellal,” Bisca said softly. “That’s not what I’m asking.”

He slumped against the counter. “Is it so obvious?”

“Not really. I just know you pretty well and I’ve never seen you so comfortable. It was your pathetic awkwardness that demanded I introduce myself to you in the first place. I felt bad for Yukino when you quite obviously didn’t have a clue what you were doing.”

“Erza and I are complicated.”

“I don't need details, hon. She obviously makes you happy and the girls love her. You’ll work it out.” Bisca tossed the cupcake paper into the trash bag Erza left behind. “I’ll help you guys get rid of the guests. These kids look like they’re on their last leg.”

When Erza found him again the sun was hidden and he sat alone on the back porch. She plopped down beside him and took the beer bottle from his hand and finished it off.

“Are the girls asleep?” He asked.

“They passed smooth out. I noticed you got all the trash squared away.”

“I couldn’t stand the thought of waking up to the mess.”

“Well, you’ve set a precedent now. Every party from here on out will have to top the one before it.”

“Two of them a year.”

“Yep.”

“I think I can handle it if you’re here too.”

Erza’s head fell to his shoulder. “Things can’t stay as they are, Jellal. Everything changes always.”

“I don’t want them to change.”

She smiled up at him sadly. “You don’t get a say in that.”

“You’re right,” he said, staring down at his hands. “I know things can’t and won’t stay like they are now. But I don’t want to lose what we have.”

Erza curled her hands around his arm and sighed. “I don’t either.”

Autumn

Jellal pulled into the driveway and slid the key from the ignition. The day had been gruelingly long. Had he been so obnoxious as a postgrad? He’d like to think he wasn’t. The students he worked with annoyed him more than his nieces on their very worst days.

The house smelled like food and he made a quick stop in his office to shed his work thing. When he finally made it to the living room, Sorano nearly gave him a heart attack with a backflip off the couch.

“You’re home!” She exclaimed. “Erza said I could take gymnastics classes!”

“I said you could ask him about it,” Erza called from the kitchen.

“We’ll talk about it this weekend,” he said as Sorano attached herself to his arm. “There’s a place on 112th I pass every day.”

Sorano squealed and darted off toward the stairs. Jellal passed the pile of backpacks and Erza’s heels on his way to the kitchen. All their belongings mixed together now and the chaos of it eased him. He found both Erza and Yukino in the kitchen.

“Will you help me with my homework?” Yukino asked from the table.

“They give homework in pre-k now?”

“It’s just a coloring page,” Erza said, pushing out a chair for him with her foot. “She did do a first grade level worksheet in my office today, though. So that’s interesting.”

“More math stuff?”

“We can have her tested next year when she starts kinder.”

“How was your day?” He asked, sliding an arm around her shoulder. His fingers tangled in her hair the way they always did.

“Long,” she sighed. “But I like it. The school is great and I think it’s a good fit for me.”

“Erza said I could keep snacks in my own box in her office for when I sit with her in the afternoons,” Yukino piped up. “I can even have a nap on the play mats!”

‘Are you sure you don’t want to be in the play gym with the other kids?” Erza asked. “I’d hate for you to be bored with me.”

Yukino smiled and gathered her crayons back into the tin. “Nope. I like the quiet and you’re my favorite besides Sorano and Uncle Jellal.”

She disappeared into the living room with her pink feather boa trailing behind her. Jellal turned to Erza and grinned in the way he’d resigned himself to recognize as sappy.

“You love me right?” He asked. “I’d understand if -”

“Oh, shut up, Jellal.” She leaned in to kiss him briefly before standing. “I’m happy.”

Erza pulled a perfectly cooked roast from the oven and Jellal vaguely wished he could understand the magic behind cooking large cuts of meat slowly over several hours.

“By the way,” Erza said, reaching for the knife block. “My mother is flying up in two weeks. She wants to meet you and the girls. I think Sorano will love her.”

Jellal’s entire body clammed up. Of course Sorano would love her. She loved all things commanding and bossy. He sucked in two deep breaths before deciding Erza’s mother couldn't possibly be any more frightening than Ms. Milkovich.

Could she?

#Jerza #Jellal Fernandes #Erza Scarlet #Prompt requests

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