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#ALSO congrats to anyone who reads all this and sorry for the rambles (i think?)

iwritenarrativesandstuff · 9 days

Note

For the ship game: Leopika and Hisoillu! I don't know your ship taste well so I'm just hitting a couple other big HxH ships hrjfjkjkdlgdfk hope you don't mind

Oh, I don't mind at all, Percy! :)

Hisoillu is... I mean... they are kind of sort of engaged (?) so. Yeah, it makes sense. Also, I can think of no one else in the universe who should be subjected to close proximity with these two on a regular basis hdfhbsdhj. Congrats, you're perfect for each other, just never involve anyone else in what you've got going on ever. Truthfully, I'm kind of indifferent towards it as a ship. It makes sense to me, but it's not something I actively seek out in fanworks I suppose. It's just, yeah, Hisoka and Illumi are together. Happy for them lol. I guess it's mostly because I think murder is their love language and I just... can't see them being romantic with each other in a lot of the more typical ways that characterize many fanworks. Do they want to kill each other, or are they into each other? The answer is both - the murder is an intrinsic aspect of the "being into each other" hdjfbvhd. That said, I think they have a pretty healthy respect for each other, due to probably being evenly matched, I'd say. I think Hisoka genuinely finds Illumi good company, and Illumi readily has fairly casual conversations with Hisoka. Their dynamic is kind of fascinating actually, and I do honestly think they're kind of perfect for each other. Diversity win??? Loss??? I'm honestly not sure lmao

Leopika :') I love the potential for them. Sadly, they don't have all that many interactions in the canon manga, so I would ordinarily say it doesn't make a huge amount of sense, but then we have the 99 anime and the radio skits who seem determined to ship them so hfbgjdhj I have no clue. I'm weird about this ship because I tend to alternate between "yeah they're cute" and "oh god. oh god. them. AAARGGHHH" and experiencing emotional damage hahaha. I am like this with no other ship. It's very strange to me.

The one thing is that I'm extremely picky with Kurapika characterization, in any art or story. If Kurapika doesn't read right to me, I just can't suspend my disbelief. I'm really not big on the "mom and dad" characterization, though no shade to anyone who is.

Peak Leopika dynamic to me takes into account not just Leorio's concern and Kurapika's walls, but also their mutual stubbornness and Kurapika's hilarious tendency to annoy Leorio on purpose. To me, I've always felt that he likes Leorio because he's a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve and values individual lives so strongly, so he kind of checks that he hasn't changed that much when they see each other. I think it's kind of relieving for Kurapika, in a way, to know that Leorio will always be himself - "same old Leorio" kind of deal.

I also think Kurapika is just a little shit hjgbvsjdh

But no, I love that Leorio clearly eases up some of the pressure Kurapika feels, and seems to make him feel better about things- that's probably half the reason he keeps him at arms length. I think affectionate bickering is their love language. I also wish people noticed a little more that it's Kurapika who actually seriously initiated friendship between them, not Leorio. In most cases in the Hunter Exam, it was Kurapika approaching Leorio and showing a clear interest in sticking with him and helping him pass and achieve his dream. I think it's incredibly meaningful that one of the first people Kurapika meets and takes a liking to is this guy who wants to become a doctor - the doctor that Kurapika had left in the first place to go looking for. Anyways, I'm really looking forward to see what role Leorio will play in the current arc (just to have more Leorio, honestly, pls Togashi I miss him...), as I'm sure he will eventually find out about Emperor Time and OH BOY I'm sure that will go over well.

Erm. Sorry for rambling. I had a lot to say apparently...

#storyrambles #thanks for the ask!#ask game #hxh

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heliads · 1 year

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Hi, congrats on 7k!! May I have a 💌: love letter with Leo Valdez? I go by she/her. I get pretty anxious when thrown in certain situations rather that be talking to a group of people or just one person. But when I get to know someone I never stop talking. I am a ranter and rambler which means I could be ranting about something that happened and then start talking about something else that may or may not be related to the original subject. Though I do enjoy listening to other people talk. I am considered the mom friend because I tend to be the most logical. I'm also a very determined, stubborn person who usually is kinda pessimistic but still has a huge imagination. And despite all the anxiety I am usually a relatively confident person and am not afraid to take up for anyone I care about. Also I am pretty good in school despite having a kinda bad memory. Also an INTJ and Sagittarius.

I absolutely love writing, art, music, reading, and watching various shows/movies. I also really like walking around and enjoying nature. There's a few nature trails I love going on and would go to the zoo every weekend if I had the chance. Which also goes along to my love for animals. Also I do like going to random places with my friends.

And that's about all I can think of to say, hope it wasn't too much lol. But anyways, thanks in advance :)

i am also a walking believer. i love going places

Leo always gets nervous at the campfires. He can’t help it. It’s a reflex from the machine shop fire, he supposes, flames get a little too tall when no one seems to be paying attention and he can’t help but freak out. Leo is supposed to be sitting with the rest of the Hephaestus cabin now, but he’s clinging to the outskirts of the whole gathering, knees hugged close to his chest as he tries and fails to convince himself that he is in control.

Someone’s shadow darkens the grass in front of him, and seconds later there’s another camper sitting by his side. Leo recognizes her in a second: Y/N L/N, one of Leo’s better friends at camp. She knows enough to identify his physical signs of distress, and offers a solution accordingly.

“Distraction?” She asks.

“Please,” Leo replies. Anything to get him out of his own head.

And she talks to him. She talks to him about everything. Pop culture news she should have no way of knowing since they’re not supposed to have Internet access at camp. The training drills they did this morning. Even the campfire songs, rating them on a scale of ‘gods-awful’ to ‘put this on Spotify ASAP.’ How much she wants to explore the woods surrounding camp even though they’re totally filled with monsters.

As she continues, Leo lets the sound of her voice fill his eyes, blocking out all the stress, all the fear. He feels his fingers unclench from each other, his shoulders lose their stiffness. She carries him away on a billowing wave of her words, and Leo is alright. Of course he is.

He blinks and she’s gone silent, staring out at the fire instead of him. When she notices him looking, she grins, a slight tint of self-deprecation shading her eyes from their previous shine.

“Sorry,” Y/N murmurs, “I have a habit of rambling. Tell me to stop next time, alright?”

“No,” Leo says a little too quickly, “No, please don’t. Keep going, actually. If you want, that is. I– I liked hearing you talk. A lot.”

Y/N flashes him this smile, and Leo thinks his heart might overload. “Well,” she grins, “if you say so.”

She remembers something that had happened yesterday, a funny story involving a satyr, four new demigods, and way too much celestial bronze. Leo tilts his head back and lets himself take it all in. The stars, the fire, her. Everything is perfect.

thank you for taking part in my 7k celebration!

#leo valdez #pjo #7k celebration

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ryker-writes · 8 months

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Hey! Just wanted to say congrats on 1.2k(Such a big number!) And I wanted to do the match thing!

• My likes: I enjoy a good fantasy book, disney movies, fall/autumn weather, also lately I've been looking into fahsion a bit more, baggy and/or comfortable clothes(was this part necessary? idk🤷‍♀️) , and sweets!

• My dislikes: Rude people, Peas🤮, the gym, and romance/rom-com movies(I don't have much dislikes tbh)

• Hobbies: Drawing, writing, I've also been looking into crocheting lately!

• Physical or personality preferences: I don't have much of a preference on physical things, maybe someone taller than me, but if they're not that's perfectly ok! For personality I'd prefer someone with good humor and is also kind hearted. Someone who would listen to me ramble about my likes and hobbies and/or dislikes. They know how to have a good time and can cheer anyone up.

• My love languages: DEFINITELY words of affirmation (and physical touch some also, although idek how to react when someone hugs me lol)

I hope you have a splendid day!

Thank you so much! It is a big number and it's kind of intimidating but I'm so grateful for the support!

"Cloudy darling! Welcome in! Sorry it's taken me so long to get to your request. I had a few lined up before you but fear not! I'm here now with your matchup.

Congratulations! You're one of the rare people I feel would do well with Rook!"

I'm gonna be honest, I had a pretty strong feeling of Rook just after reading your likes and it only got stronger as I kept reading. It's hard to fully explain why, but I just think you two fit together well! :3

as someone who loves to find the beauty in all things, Rook absolutely loves you

he loves talking about stories with you and looking at aesthetics and fashion together

whenever he sees a particularly interesting outfit or anything he'll ask you what you think about it

he loves to hear your takes on things

but most of all, he thinks you're so beautiful and his favorite person to look at

Rook is someone who is very observant and will take great care to avoid your dislikes

there will be NO peas on your plate. Ever.

you have such creative hobbies and Rook finds that so beautiful

each of your hobbies create something new, something beautiful, something you and he loves it

the king of listening to you ramble

he will basically memorize everything you tell him and he loves that you can ramble to him, and he will ramble to you too

Rook is actually pretty good at cheering people up! He somehow is able to always find the right words that someone needs in that moment and has no problem telling them...although sometimes in a cryptic way

the king of words of affirmation

Rook could go on for literal days on how amazing you are and how much he loves you

please stop him for everyone else's sake

#ryker the matchmaker #twisted wonderland matchups

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that-angry-noldo · 1 year

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*cackles* oh I'm so glad you liked the Finrod reveal ramble, I was a little hesitant bc some people get a bit HOW DARE when other people do more than ask questions.

I wasn't meaning to imply Fingon was demanding or telling Mae what to do, more that he was being another voice for Mae to consider? And a new ear/shoulder for him to speak to about this? Like, you know when you KNOW you should do something, and it's really hard and it WILL hurt, so you're trying to do everything BUT that until you talk to a friend or family member and it clarifies and untangles the situation in your head so you can finally FINALLY make the choice you need to?

I see Fingon as one of the people Mae has for this. (He is Mae's favorite rubber duck) And Maglor obviously, but a sibling is too close for that sometimes. Fingon was outside the situation.

OH WOW YEAH Maedhros is gonna have some ISSUES when he realizes he's been treating his cousin like a pet. Having undergone his own horrific dehumanization and torture, it's gonna make him feel horrible to have unwittingly done the same to his cousin.

This is obviously NOT actually his fault, there was no way he could know that this was FINROD, but ptsd does not respond to logic.

I'm picturing him sitting beside a thoroughly unconscious Finrod all blank faced and torturing himself by going over every SINGLE interaction he had with wolf!Finrod desperately wondering how he MISSED THIS.

Maglor is no help, he's doing the same thing. Fingon is juggling both of their responsibilities probably for a few days, while also being beside himself about this.

Finrod is in a healer concoction induced sleep, floating in a lovely pain free cloud right now, and is unavailable for comment.

Meanwhile Fingon is ALSO trying to think about what to tell Finrod's SISTER probably. How d'you draft THAT letter? 'Hey Artanis, so you know how everyone said Finrod died...' O__O;;; (Really, he probably won't write it into a letter, not if they're gonna keep this on the down low, it could be intercepted, but it's a fun image)

please i now can only picture this

Fingon, rolling into Himring: yodeley my dudes how it's going? how's it rolling??

Maedhros, in the middle of existential crisis: fingon HELP me to DEAL with the MORALS

also have you looked into my brain because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING. maedhros sitting near finrod's bed not being able to think about anything else

anyways i'm gonna say it. maglor's guilt strikes ten times harder because he literally proposed to slit werefinrod's throat when they first captured him so. KEKW I GUESS

i could've given finrod a healer induced sleep because imo he deserves it, but i'm gonna give him sauron induced nightmares/visions instead because i'm evil :D

ALSO YEAH DECIDING ON WHO AND WHAT TO TELL IS A MAJOR THING MAE AND FINNO HAVE TO DO

they decide not to tell anyone yet, at least not before finrod comes to his senses. but if they were to draft a letter it would look like this:

Hey. Yeah it's about your brother. Yeah a dead one. So about him, you might want to recall a funeral. Yeah. No yeah he was risen from dead. No no he's not a zombie. No he's. Um. He's a werewolf. Yeah like a shapeshifting one. So uh. Congrats?... Sorry. Yeah. Maedhros's been feeding him well though. No?... Oh. Alright. No yeah I understand. Yeah. Okay. Sorry.

meanwhile galadriel in menegroth is like. i feel a great disturbance in the force-

and PLEASE i ENJOY getting asks like these, i'm always open to asks about my aus or fics or silmarillion in general! it's basically if someone wrote it down instead of me and i'm always exited to read them

#werewolf au #noldo answers

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salsakiyoomi · 9 months

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Hi!! Congrats on 1k followers, your blog theme is super gorgeous <3

Could I please get a matchup for stranger things?

My persona -

Personality - It takes me a while to feel comfortable around new people but once I do, I become really talkative and outgoing. I love helping out and I'm the therapist friend, people come to me to vent or for advice and comfort. I'm smart and ambitious; I love being the best at everything I do, but I'm deathly afraid of failure and disappointing the people I love. I'm quite the hopeless romantic and I love being in love! I adore big and small romantic gestures and I love domesticity sm!! I also daydream a lot and I can get lost in my own world for hours. I can be quite dramatic and stubborn and I tend to be withdrawn and distant at times. I get frustrated easily and I'm quietly competitive. My love languages are acts of service and quality time. I'm a ravenclaw, my mbti is infp and my enneagram is 4w3!

Zodiac - taurus!

Ideal type and Favorite trope - best friends to lovers!!! I'm obsessed with having a person just be your person throughout your life. Someone who knows you inside out, gets you better than anyone else, has seen the best and the worst parts of yourself, someone you're completely comfortable and at ease with, someone you know and trust blindly. idk, I just love the idea very much 😭😭

Favorite season - definitely fall

Hobbies- I love reading, my favorite genres are poetry, Russian lit, and mysteries! I love learning about new things and knowing a little bit of everything. I adore adventures, witty and playful banter, joking around and having indepth discussions on anything and everything! I adore all forms of art and I have quite a few creative hobbies! I listen to a lot of modern/indie rock and I love watching films very much! I really enjoy dressing up and playing around with makeup.

Thank you very much! I'm very sorry if this got too long, I got carried away 😭 can't wait to explore more of your blog, your Miguel x reader was a delight <3

Congrats once again on your milestone, I hope you have a lovely day ❤️

HONEYMOON MATCHUP WITH : EDDIE MUNSON

— honeymoon

eddie has always loved you, since the moment you saved him from those stupid bullies in second grade, even though the two of you got beat up — you still asked him if he was okay, and of course he said yes, he was amazed by how brave you were back then and how you stood up for him, a kid you've never met before and one who had a reputation for being a freak — nevertheless, ever since that moment, the two of you stuck together like glue, and you grew up to be close friends, or maybe something more than just friends — not that eddie would ever go over that line.

it started in second year of highschool when eddie realized he might've felt something more for you than just regular friends — which was weird because you never expressed anything that said you were interested in him like that — ignoring the way you usually hugged him too tightly or the sloppy kisses you placed on his cheeks, at first it was okay and normal, but ever since his fat crush on you, his heart always leapt to his throat whenever you made contact with him. he was starting to see you more than a friend with every passing day, and god, it was no good for him —he knew he needed to stop, needed to get this thoughts out of his mind and bury his feeling deep and take them with him to the grave, but he couldn't help it, couldn't help staring at you for too long, couldn't help craving your touch, couldn't help thinking about the way your lips could press up — no, no, he can't think like that.

and then came the late afternoon where the two of you were sitting by your secret spot — the bench in the woods, as eddie liked to call it ( he said it sounded ominous ) you weren't sitting on the bench, no, eddie sat up by a tree bark with your head resting in his lap, rambling on about the new album of your favorite band, while the light of the setting sun bounced on your face perfectly, defining your features and adding a golden glimmer to your already sparkling eyes — eddie wasn't listening to a word you were saying, his gaze dead set on your lips, how the moved, how pretty and plump they looked, and before he even knew it, he was leaning over, pressing his lips to yours, tasting the cherry lip balm you always wore tat made your lips pink and shiny and so irresistible— it was only to his surprise that you kissed him back.

— what's on the radio : me and your mama, childish gambino

a/n : i love eddie's hair sm, ty for the request <3 also i think you're really cool

#1k event matchup #1k milestone #honeymoon matchup event #stranger things #stranger things matchups #eddie munson

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tothedarkdarkseas · 1 year

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Hello i have read your entire collection of fics and i gotta say. Wow . what a Talent for the Grime. im not a 2doc girlie unfortunately but I've been softened. won over. I can now see 2doc and go "well that's very interesting. I wanna see where this author goes w it" instead of the general feeling of he would Not fucking say that. bc the truth isthat maybe he would . say those things he says in your fics etc. You understand. Most of all i have an appetite for grime and i have had it Saciated. i saved the plastic beach fics for the end bc i knew they'd be the ones id be more predisposed 2wards and while i was right i will say -> paula fic sweep. i love ms cracker she's such a cunt. as a dyke well all i can say is come 2 bed sweetheart your horrible mean gross standoffish attitude is wasted on a rockstar like stuart. I haven't read a hotter woman in a while Congrats. um but yeah also the plastic beach fics i left some comments bc oysters got to me Bad i never fully felt the impact of plastic beach from a murdoc perspective w such INCISIVENESS and POWER just the fucking spiraling horror of putting yourself in that position out of desperation and PRIDE??? god. GOD. and then the fic you have pinned. the fic that.made me check out your ao3. god . ive been in bad relationships that hurt me greatly and i had to keep seeing the.person. It was So cathartic. the mixing of 2ds identity w murdocs the enmeshment the. The

sorry 4.the.long ask im a little drunk but you HAVE to know you have got a NEW BIG FAN

i wanna see.more of your noodle and cyborg noodle :( noodlez mean so much 2me and 2d and noodle in seething coast got to me so fucking bad. russ' small role also got me weeping but not as much as 2d and bday girl noodle ending did. your 2d is perhaps the most interesting read ive seen on the character so far .

This message brought so much joy to my night, as did your comments on AO3! I apologize for my lateness; I absolutely intend to respond to them over there (as far as my intentions go for the foreseeable future I will always respond to comments or asks, so long as anyone is kind enough to stop by! It just takes a few days sometimes, whoops) but I'm so enchanted by the ephemeral nature of the drunk message, I've got to let you know I've seen it, haha.

I love the sentence "unfortunately, I am not a 2Doc girlie" as it feels quite backwards from the other side of it. I would say, being someone who has written exclusively 2Doc stories for their fanfiction career and runs a bizarrely devoted 2Doc blog years longer than they ought to have, being a 2Doc girlie is an unfortunate thing to be. I wouldn't blame you having apprehensions! If you can believe it, when I got into Gorillaz I would avoid the shipping element altogether and skip past any 2Doc that popped up along my way; I also felt a sense of... neutrality to profound disinterest toward it, and had things gone differently after I may have bowed out without any lasting words exchanged and moved forward along the fandom line, as so many do. I felt some sense of shame, I think, to admit I was reshaping the characters by my own wants, but I accept now that this is what Gorillaz fandom is; the nearer to canon one can go in tone, the better, but there's a point where the road forks (splinters into four forks, and four more further down, really) and for the sake of your own stability and consistency, you have to make a decision about that character's path. Anyway, sorry, I'm rambling! Hopefully that doesn't bore you to tears, but your message made me think about it all again, and I enjoy doing so!

Thank you for reading everything, good gravy, it's a tall order and I'm just-- I am beyond flattered. I am beyond humbled. I am moderately embarrassed by some of the early writing, but I'm incredibly touched nonetheless. I am especially grateful for Paula to make her way into a loving home, biting and spitting all the way. Stuart is not and will never be equipped for the job. ("It's rotten work, especially if it's you," only Paula's not asking him to do it and she's sure as shit not offering it in return. God, I love that woman.)

Thank you. I don't know if it's too sappy and too sincere to say, but I think we grow in sincerity, I think we are emotionally and mentally fed by honesty even to a degree of discomfort, and so I swallow that embarrassment and say... you naming those stories, sharing your thoughts, sharing with me a connection and a sense of caring for Oysters, Ampersands, Seething Coast-- the stories that I cared most for, stories that drew the most from myself even when I tried to obscure it, stories that still sit close to the breast-- that is special. That really means more to me than a comical reply can express. I'm really glad that these scenes meant something to you and that they get to live in another person. That's the horror and the prize of writing, it's the thing you dread doing wrong and losing in the void; but to hear months or years later that it's found someone, and they felt something for it, and they're not embarrassed for you that you've stumbled through making something like this from these characters, that's all you can dream of. That's everything. It matters very much. I can't say I have anything new on the horizon for Noodle (...and I can't say what I have done in the past few months is anywhere near cresting the horizon) but this message gets my heart thu-thumping and has me mulling her over. Maybe one day we can revisit the mess again. If you'd like to listen, this song always makes me think of Stu and Noodle, specifically on that illusion of solid ground in the years after Plastic Beach. I listened to it sometimes to get in the mood to write them.

youtube

#<3

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linawritestwst · 1 year

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hiiii congrats on 1k! i'd like to request a matchup please~

i go by she/they pronouns. aside from playing games and watching anime, i like reading books, specifically YA romance novels since im basic XD one of my main hobbies include experimenting w coffee beans too. (i've been obsessed with them since the pandemic started that i can probably make a 2 hr presentation on the history of coffee lmao jk) ANYWAY, i dont really know much abt my personality outside of personality types: i'm an infp, type 9w1 enneagram which is like being the peacemaker in a friend group bc i dont like confrontation lol. with that, i usually look assertiveness and decisiveness for a partner bc i cant have someone whos passive and agreeable as me HSHDHDHSJ but ofc, them being selfish is a whole diff thing. im usually the listener since im not good at making conversations and ppl find it easy to open up to me (prob bc i dont talk in the first place AHDHSHDHHS). but it would be good if my partner can hold up a conversation for us or at least let me feel comfortable to them that i can actually ramble and talk a lot :) my love language is giving gifts bc i think its nice to see something and immediately think of ur loved one like thats so cute!!

also, im okay with anyone from any dorm aside from the first years since theyre still a bit young~ i hope this is not too vague and too long. thank you so much and i hope more readers can find your writings!

hi, thank you so much for your kind words and i hope you like your matchup!!

also i'm so sorry for being so slow with matchups, i have exams coming up and i have to study a lot 😔😔

the character that i think would be a good partner for you is..

rook hunt!

i'll explain why i chose him:

this guy wouldn't think you're basic at all! everything about you is special to him and even if most people think your interests are "boring", he says that there's something beautiful about you liking popular things. come on, you like romance novels, that's so cute! he would be very curious to hear about your experiments with coffee beans as well and you can tell him everything you know about them, he will listen and he will genuinely find it extremely interesting. and your passion about this topic makes it even more beautiful for him.

rook would admire you being the peacemaker, because it means that you're a kind and caring person and it makes you even more beautiful in his eyes. you're already perfect to him, but if you want to become more confident, he would be glad to help! though he can also just be there in case you need someone to make a decision for you or someone who's not as passive.. but this man also can easily go "all of these look/sound nice <3" when you have to choose something, so.. good luck with that.

rook doesn't mind doing all the talking, since.. you know. he talks a lot. however, he would love to hear your thoughts and opinions more often, so in case you need to talk to him about something, he's all ears! he will react to everything you say and he will express his own thoughts about these topics as well, but he will try his best not to interrupt you and if he does, please forgive him, he gets very excited when he's able to spend time with you like this and get to know you better. he would love the gifts you give him too, the fact that you saw something and it reminded you of him warms his heart and makes him so happy!

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland matchups #twst matchup

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marshmellowtea · 2 years

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hey, sorry, i did read ur bio but im..... unclear what u mean specifically by "anti anti" and "pro ship/pro fiction"? sorry, the terms get thrown around a lot and its made me unclear what ppl mean when they use them since its used in such drastically different contexts. sorry to bother

it's alright, you're not bothering me. i was honestly kind of expecting an ask like this after making that post. i hope, anon, before you respond (if you respond) you hear me out for the whole post.

i'm gonna put this under a cut since i rambled, sorry. warning for some discussion of abuse

first off, i wanna say that while writing this response feels very weird and kind of nerve-wracking, this isn't information i've been trying to hide. i, perhaps foolishly, tend to assume that people who follow me have at least read my bio, even if they choose not to read my about page, and it's becoming increasingly obvious that this is just......not the case? and it's becoming a bit frustrating to inevitably receive backlash from people following me about views i've been open about having from the get-go, hence the vent post. sorry about that, though, there's better ways of handling that frustration, i know.

secondly, i'm pro ship as in......pro ship. all ships, no matter how tasteless, controversial, or disgusting i or anyone else might find them. i'm pro fiction in the same sense, but just in regards to fiction as a whole, both in and out of fandom. while i never fully identified as an anti, i definitely used to have views closer to that mindset, and i can confidently say that they have caused me a lot of harm in the long run. also, while i fully take accountability for the things i've said during those years, i also feel like in some sense i was enabled to be cruel to others while i was a part of that group. never full on hate campaigns, sure, but i've definitely said some nasty stuff to people, and i regret ever doing it, and i especially feel regret for ever feeling justified in doing it. it also bothers me that there were other anti-minded people in my circles who encouraged me, even, and assured me i was doing the right thing when i fucking wasn't.

while i don't think i can explain all of my reasons for my beliefs in this post alone—that would make this thing way longer than it already is—i want to mention that i don't disagree with the notion that fiction can have an affect on our reality, i just think it's more nuanced than a one-to-one correlation of "reading about [thing]=think [thing] is now good", and i also think since fandom is, well, fandom, people tend to overexaggerate its influence on people. if you've ever read a fic or watched a tv show and thought that they handled a certain subject poorly, or recognized that a certain trope they used was bigoted, or anything of that sort, then, well, congrats! you know exactly what i mean. fiction can certainly influence people's views, but i think it's more of a lack of education (sex education, education on the lived experiences of minorities, etc) that's the problem, rather than the fiction on its own.

i also HEAVILY dislike this notion that fiction causes or enables people to abuse—in the case of the former, that's taking responsibility from the abuser because it implies that fiction "made" them do it when it was really their choice to be cruel, and in the case of the latter, i really think it's the aforementioned lack of education and the lack of systems we have in place to support victims/challenge authority that's more of an issue. sure, fiction can absolutely be used to groom people for abuse, but so can candy, or sports, or money, or one on one time, a whole bunch of things are all potential tools and unfortunately, we can't ban everything that could potentially be used to harm someone. and besides, that's overlooking that properly tagged fic (i'm. very pro content warnings in addition to being anti censorship just to be clear) can actually help people realize they're being abused when they see their situations being reflected on the page in front of them that's clearly labeled as abuse.

those aren't my only reasons of course, but this is getting long already, so thank you for sticking with me if you've gotten to the end. if you're uncomfortable with me because of this, i understand, i just ask that you either quietly unfollow or block me, because i'm not afraid to report people for harassment. if you have any good-faith follow up questions, i'm free to answer those as well, i really don't mind.

#i feel like i always take on a different tone when writing about stuff like this #or at least when i need to be more serious #it's like. professional marshy. i guess. academic marshy #why i left the anti cult and decided to just enjoy things: a memoir #<- that's my tag for this sort of thing if you're curious #marshy gets asks #anonymous #also anon if you're the person i think you are then.....idk. i'm sorry. i hope you don't feel like i was trying to deceive you or anything #like i said i generally assume people read my bio and are okay with it #or at least understand what i mean #it's kinda nerve wracking to be open about this sort of thing because of the amount of harassment that goes on but i don't like hiding it #maybe i should be more clear though idk. shrug emoji

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unabashednightmarepizza · 2 years

Note

hello!! congratulations on the 100+ followers <3 i was hoping to request an encanto matchup? preferably romantic-

i'm fifteen, genderfluid and im unlabeled sexualitywise. when feeling feminine i go by valerie, when masc i go by val and v when androgynous or unsure.

good things about me: i will listen to anyone's problems and offer advice if i can, i don't take anyone's shit and will throw hands if needed be and i give good hugs.

neutral: im quiet most of the time which is a good and bad thing, im really superstitious and i mumble and ramble under my breath a lot when nervous.

bad things about me: a hell of a lot of self doubt about everything i do, i have scoliosis and when my back gets too sore i have to use a wheelchair, extremely clumsy, and a ball of anxiety.

likes: reading, painting, dancing, singing, skateboarding, gardening, thriller movies, horror novels, theatre (especially broadway), swimming, photography and poetry.

dislikes: confrontation, being made fun of, when being told what to do, failure, not knowing who i am and the way i look.

physical:

im really pale and im rather short (5'3 - 5'4). im covered in freckles and have a birthmark across my neck and chest that looks like coffee stains. i have short hair (just above my earlobe and an undercut) which has been bleached to a light orange with red streaks. im thinking of growing my hair out and dying it back to my natural color (brown, almost black). i have narrow, dark brown eyes too.

fun facts:

- i have a spa day once a week to try and keep my skin smooth and just treat myself(don't tell my friends, i'd never hear the end of it)

- i babysit younger family members, dad's friend's kids and friend's siblings from time to time

- i volunteer at my local zoo!! the red pandas and reptiles are my favorites to look after. (im training to be put on full time and to join croc shows!! basically where we feed the crocs, show their bite strength and inform the audience of these beautiful, yet misunderstood creatures)

- i either want to pursue psychology, continue to work with animals or pursue dance!! (the last two would be difficult due to my scoliosis)

sorry if that was too much. don't forget to drink plenty of water !!

Hello bubs! I'm sorry it took me a long time to answer this, I've been focusing on my Demon Slayer series' and Camilo Fic lately and almost forgot I have two matchups!!! I hope you like it hon!

AND YOU ARE SO THOUGHTFUL I'M GONNA CRY! DON'T FORGET TO DRINK WATER AS WELL!!

I match you up with... 𝔐𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔟𝔢𝔩 𝔐𝔞𝔡𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔞𝔩!!

Okay before we start, we stan a respectful Queen here so Mirabel would be SO CAREFUL with your pronouns because she doesn't want to make you feel uncomfy uwuu

Mirabel desperately needs someone to ease her mind from all of her insecurities and you listening to her would mean everything to her! She would lay beside you with her head in your chest and listen to you listing everything nice about her with a huge smile on her face!

Also I highly believe Camilo is close with her so to win her, you also need to win him over. Like, he would stand before you, trying not to laugh while trying to look intimidating LMAO

But after that, congrats my friend! Now you have a third wheel in your relationship! He doesn't give a single thought though, always hanging out with you two... Like damn it, give me a break so that I can hug my girlfriend!!!

He would also accompany you with the throwing hands at Mirabel's bullies, be it adult people or not.

"Get the hell away from the love of my life ୧(๑•̀ᗝ•́)૭"

She can understand you being superstitious since her tío also is and will never criticize you for it! She might even indulge in your beliefs because she's curious!

She would look at you with adoration in her eyes while squealing inside because you look cute when you mumble to yourself! ( I understand you girl... I talk to myself whenever I'm stressed too😌)

Just like you, she would come running at your side whenever you have your own doubts. She may not fully understand your condition but that doesn't mean she wont try! She might even beg her mother to cook you something!

SPEAKING OF JULIETTA!! OMG SHE'D ACCEPT YOU AS HER OWN AS SOON AS SHE SEES THE HUGE SMILE YOU GAVE TO HER DAUGHTER!! 🥰😍🥲Agustin would try to give "the talk" but fail and just ruffle your hair, also accepting you.( QUEEN AND KING OF MY HEART💗💗)

She would get sad when she sees you in pain because of scoliosis and try to learn new ways to ease your suffering if it ever gets bad. Be it corsets, some herbs or medicine, she would run around the town to get what you need.

ANOTHER THEATRE KID IN THE FAMILY!! One of the reasons why Camilo loves to hang out with you. He would make you watch him or make YOU act while giving Mirabel an amazing show!

Mirabel also loves dancing so she loves twirling you around gently while having the time of her life. She would try to teach you dancing if you can't make the moves and encourage you to go on!

When you gifted a painting of her, she cried for an hour because damn she really does have a talented S/O!!

You also painted Casita too and showed it to the lively house which made the fountains work and open the tabs, almost making the whole house flood. From now on you're the other favourite!!

And don't get me started with the photograohy and poet one!! (Are you my long lost twin or something?) You would always wander around with a camera, taking photos. But at the end of the day, you would have cute and beautiful photos of your beloved with the sun shining on her skin, making her eyes twinkle in the rightest way... And if you ever gift them in a scrapbook and a poet you wrote while thinking about her... Well good luck with trying to calm her down because she's bawling her eyes out while trying to wipe her tears and snot away LMAO

Pepa and Julietta are actually jealous because of the amount of sappy shit you do together. They would look at their husbands dead in the eye and the men would cover in slight fear hehehe

I highly believe Mirabel also loves animals and you also loving to take care of them is a binus point from both her and Antonio! A picnic date while patting the little fur balls and birds etc... Perfect (✪ ω ✪)

Taking care of the young family members with face masks on? BRING IT UP!! IT'S SUCH A COZY SIGHT THAT IT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE SWOON AND...

Hahaha You're all so cute!! GI AND BE SAPPY SOMEWHERE ELSE! THERE ARE SINGLE PEOPLE HERE ~~ An angsty Camilo~~

DAMN IT I WANT SOMEONE LIKE HER

#encanto imagine #encanto x reader #encanto fluff #encanto #mirabel madrigal x reader #mirabel x reader #mirabel madrigal #mirabel x you #mirabel my beloved #mirabel x y/n #encanto matchup #I saw the damned tags of Mirabel with... Anyways😌 I'm calm...

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colossalcriminal · 3 years

Text

Uptown Girl - s.r

Pairing: 40s!Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Summary: 25 year old Steve Rogers finds himself infatuated with the well off 18 year old girl who gets Howard Stark coffee.

Warnings: Smoking, alcohol consumption and character death. Not proofread and bad writing.

He'd seen her around plenty, hell, he knew her. Almost always gliding through the streets in the most beautiful designer dresses, sometimes with another girl, arms clad in shopping bags from some of the greatest fashion houses. She also had a knack for wearing trousers that accentuated her legs, always receiving a flustered reaction from the men around her.

It was no doubt she was stunning, perhaps the prettiest girl he'd ever seen in his short 24 years of living. Bucky had always teased him relentlessly, encouraging his best friend to 'snatch her up before someone else does.'

It was a regular occurrence for him to be saved in an alleyway by the sergeant, especially when Steve Rogers didn't know when to back down, or how to. It was only when he showed Steve the newspaper he noticed her figure further down the alley, puffs of smoke leaving her lips.

Steve Rogers found it hard to understand how someone as beautiful as her could commit to an ugly act such as smoking. He was ashamed to admit that the nasty habit hadn't once dwindled his infatuation towards her. "Hey, Y/N!" Bucky called out, gaining her attention. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

Y/N sauntered over to the men with her signature dazzling smile, lips painted in the most ravishing shade of red that'd printed onto the cigarette that rested between her fingers. "Howard's got me off early." She gasped, instantly putting the cigarette out. "Sorry, Steve. I almost forgot I shouldn't light one around you."

Steve's smile reeked with nerves. "It's okay." He stuttered.

"So, he's Howard now?" Bucky nudged her.

She rolled her eyes, resting a hand on her hip. "Put a cap on it, Barnes. Anyways, where are you boys off to?"

"Your boss' expo." He displayed the paper to her, pointing to the large ad.

With a small nod, her attention was back on the skinny boy. "Picking me up, Steve?"

Waking up from his day dream, finally in the headspace to speak to the magnificent woman before him, his nod was quick. "Huh? Oh, yes. Definitely."

"I'll see you later tonight at 6pm sharp, then. Bye." She grinned at the blonde, waving as she proceeded to walk away.

"Bye, Y/N." His reply was too quiet to hear as she was too far away, but the butterflies in his stomach didn't care for that. Sighing at Bucky's light chuckles, he shook his head, mentally scolding himself for the awkward interaction.

"At least you got a date."

"Yeah," He whispered to himself, almost impressed. "at least I got a date."

6:01pm his watch read as he stood before the house - mansion - nervous creeping up the back of his spine, the large house looming over him as if he were in a nightmare.

And it was the exact time she popped her head out of her bedroom window signaling to Steve. "Just wait a minute! Dad's home, so I have to escape!" She whisper-yelled.

He'd gotten a glance of her frock. His heart pounding at the view of her hair curled into perfect ringlets, makeup even more accentuating than it was earlier that day. He watched her disappear, before quietly slipping through the front door and making her way to him. "Sorry, he doesn't like me being out in the evening."

"Well, I can understand with a beautiful dame like you, sorry woman, not dame. Young woman."

Y/N giggled at his ramble. "You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?" Steve smiled bashfully at her lightheartedness. "It's alright, not like I'm anyone important."

He cocked his head inquisitively. "And what do you mean by that?"

Sighing, she looped her arm through his, an action that sent his vision loopy as he inwardly cheered. "I mean, I'm just a girl with big dreams who spends daddy's money and gets coffee for Howard Stark. Nothing big."

Steve maintained his unfazed exterior, resisting the urge to stare down at their linked arms. "Tell me about these big dreams."

"I want to be a scientist, well, more of a techy one like Howard is. The idea of flying cars within a few years is so, invigorating!" She beamed. "Don't you think?"

He smiled at her, nodding. "Well, I hope you'll be around to fly our first car, considering you're so insistent on enlisting."

"Bucky thinks I can't do it, that's why they keep rejecting me."

Y/N hummed, lips curling into a small pout. "I think you could do it," He perked up at this. "you could. But just because you can, doesn't mean you should, Steve."

Before he could respond, they'd already been greeted and called over from afar by Bucky.

Y/N didn't let herself feel too downhearted when Stark's flying car show failed, but she did find herself frowning when she followed Steve to the recruitment booth.

She pulled him towards her, Bucky not far off. "Come on, soldier." She joked. "Take me dancing."

"You go ahead, I'll catch up."

Guilt had presented itself to Steve on a silver platter when he saw her shoulders drop. "You're really going to do this again?" Bucky deadpanned, unimpressed.

"I'll leave you guys to talk it out. Meet me there?" The blonde nodded, missing her small wave as she departed.

An hour and 49 minutes later she found herself walking home alone, rubbing her arms in an attempt to abandon any feeling of cold, or even worse, loneliness.

It was 2 days later when Steve finally caught her leaving her office, cigarette in hand. He couldn't help it when he gazed at the pearl earrings she wore, framing her face so perfectly, accompanied by the stray hairs that'd escaped her updo.

"Y/N!"

His voice had only expanded her annoyance as she watched the smoke exit her mouth, ignoring his calls. "Go away, Rogers."

He panted, finally catching up to her. "I'm sorry, I really am."

"What for? The fact that you ditched me on our date or that you went radio silent for 2 days?"

He pursed his lips, closing his eyes in regret. "Please, let me take you out again before I start training?"

Y/N let out a dry chuckle. "Congrats." She put out her cigarette, still mindful of the blond's asthma. "That's not the point, Steve. I wanted to go out with you because I like you! Because you're different! But it turns out I was wrong. So, good luck in training, I'm sure you'll do great. If you're alive by the end of the war, come find me."

"Please, Y/N. I really, really like you."

She'd already began walking away. "You should've thought about that before you asked to get yourself killed."

Without much thought, Steve reached forward, wrapping his fingers around her wrist as soft as possible, the surprise on her face echoed onto his own. "And what if I don't die?"

Scoffing, she shook her head. "You sound so certain."

"Because I am."

"I will not wait for you to come home and receive a letter explaining your death instead."

"Deal."

With a peculiar brow, Y/N sighed. "Where are we going then, Mr. Rogers?"

His lips spread into a beautiful grin. "Anywhere you want, Ms. L/N."

They'd spent 3 full days together before Steve began training.

The first day was spent at and around the theatre, watching as many movies as possible and eating as much popcorn as one can.

The second day, he made it up to her by taking her dancing. Y/N took the time to teach him how to waltz, giggling every time he stepped on her shoes.

The third day was spent at his home, alone. Away from the crowded atmosphere of her house, she taught him how to cook the simplest of dishes, making sure he knew how to feed himself incase no one else did.

It was hard for her not to get teary eyed as Y/N layed her hands on his cheeks, cupping his face daintily. Steve leaned into the soft touch, corners of his mouth tugging downwards. "So, I guess this is goodbye."

"Yeah, it is." He whispered, eyes staring into hers with utmost intensity, a false reality in his head tricking him into believing he wouldn't have to leave her if their eyes never broke contact.

"You better make it back to me, Rogers."

"Of course I will, Y/N."

The grief had already sunk in her, the feeling in her belly so overwhelming, heart fluttering violently as she pulled him to her, lips touching so softly. Steve didn't freeze like he thought he would- he didn't have time to freeze. He did his best, pulling her closer and kissing him back with the most confidence he could muster.

Y/N's smile was almost minuscule when they pulled away, hands moving down to grip onto his uniform, her head in a lovesick daze. "How could I not make it back to you?"

"Well, I am your best girl."

He quirked an eyebrow. "My only girl."

"We'll see about that when you come home a war hero. All the ladies would drop down to your feet."

"All the women in the world and I'd still choose you."

Returning home, she closed the front door quietly, making her way to the living room to find her father engrossed in the small tv box. "Hi." She spoke quietly, hoping not to disturb him as she kissed his cheek, hoping to walk away.

"Sit." Y/N's father offered her the seat next to him, never taking his eyes off the program as she sunk into the sofa, her frock filling out around her. "Lowell's been talking a lot."

She stiffened slightly, subconsciously crossing her legs and straightening her shoulders. "Oh, you know not to listen to Lowell. All he does is gossip. Him and his wife, vultures they are."

"He tells me you've been spending a lot of time with Sarah's boy, Steve."

"Yes, I have. He just recently went off to train."

He finally looked at her. "You scared?"

"A little."

"Then it's a mistake."

Y/N's face was blank as she fiddled with her fingernails and stared off into the distance. "I know."

Her father shook his head. "Then you'll know to break it off."

"No, I won't." He looked perplexed at her reply. "Because it may be a mistake now, he may die any day, but at least I'd gotten the chance to be with him."

He only huffed, muttering something along the lines of "Childish."

She decided to change the subject, not wanting the conversation to sour even more. "Where's Eliza?"

"She's out."

"What are we watching?"

"The Mark of Zorro."

"Can we watch something else? Sullivan's Travels is on."

"No."

"I'll be in my room then."

"Fine."

She stood, getting one last glimpse of her father. "You know daddy, I do love him. And who knows? Maybe he'll survive. Maybe we'll get married and live a happily ever after. If that does happen, I hope you'll be happy for me."

She knew they were selecting the 'lucky' one to be titled 'super soldier.' She'd been working alongside Howard, the older man curious of her expertise for an 18 year old but nonetheless grateful for her help.

Y/N certainly didn't expect Steve to walk through the doors of the laboratory, accompanied by Peggy Carter. "Jesus Christ, Steve." She gasped, embracing him.

He wrapped his arms around her, concern growing when the smallest patch of tears had formed on his t-shirt. He watched as she pulled away. "Hi." Steve greeted.

"Oh, hi." She chuckled through tears. "I'm sorry, go talk to Erskine and we'll chat later." His hands lingered on her, before he slowly nodded, doing as told.

Minutes later, her fear only grew as he layed down in what she called the pod. "Comfortable?" She queried.

"It's a little big." He commented. Y/N graced him with her smile, a real, but concerned smile. "Maybe we could get dinner later?"

"Alright, loverboy. One thing at a time." She teased. "Howard, what are our levels?"

"Levels at 100%."

"I have to say something," He almost begged. "I think I'm in love with you."

Chuckling, she held his face in her hands. "I think I'm in love with you, too, Steve." Blowing him a kiss, she waved her love goodbye before leaving to stand beside Howard. "We may dim half the lights in Brooklyn, but we are ready as we'll ever be."

She just barely missed Steve's terrified, longing glance that had remained on her back as she worked diligently, how the cold metal around him sent shivers down his spine, aching for the warmth of her touch.

Erskine began his speech into the microphone. "but we are ready as we'll ever be. today we take not another step towards annihilation, but the first step on the path to peace. We begin with a series of microinjections into the subject's major muscle groups. The serum infusion will cause immediate cellular change. And then, to stimulate growth, the subject will be saturated with Vita-Rays. Serum infusion beginning in five, four, three, two, one."

Hesitating the slightest bit, Y/N pulled the lever, eyes tearing at Steve's small grunts as each small vial emptied itself. Howard pulled his own lever, elevating the pod into a standing form, closing the blonde in. "Steven? Can you hear me?"

"It's probably too late to go to the bathroom now, right?"

She couldn't help but smile at his witty answer. "We will proceed."

"10%."

"20%."

"30."

"That's 40%."

"Vital signs are normal."

"That's 50%."

"60."

"70."

The beam emitting from the pod became too bright for the eye, the sound of Steve's groans had morphed into pained screams, shattering Y/N's heart with every yell. "Shut it down! Kill the reactor, Howard!"

"No!" He protested. "Don't! I can do this!"

Howard looked at her with a sense of sympathy. "Eighty."

"Ninety."

"That's 100%."

Sparks had erupted throughout the machinery, surges of light blinding them until it had died down, everything and everyone dead silent. Within seconds, the pod had opened, revealing a brand new Steve Rogers.

Y/N cried in relief, instantly running to tend to him, helping him out of the device. "You did it, sweetheart."

"I did it."

"Yes, you did. How do you feel?"

He panted, surveying his surroundings before looking down at her. "Taller."

She barely took a minute to lock her gaze onto the newly formed muscles on his body.

With a giggle, she handed him a shirt. "You look taller." He grinned, using his newfound strength to pick her up, a loud squeal leaving her painted lips.

A loud explosion went off, the glass pane that guarded the viewing room had shattered onto the people congratulating Erskine below. Erskine had fallen to the ground after multiple gunshots, Steve making his way to the scientist while Y/N had continued shooting at the perpetrator as he escaped, soon running after him.

Running out onto the street, she caught her breath, deathly stare on the car that had her target. She shot once, no luck. Once again, the vehicle had swerved, colliding with a parked car nearby.

Kruger had gotten into a different car, accelerating at full speed towards the young woman, challenging her as she raised her gun once again.

No impact or gunshot ever occurred as Steve had pulled her out of the way, leaving her on the sidewalk. "I had him!"

"Sorry!" He ran, leaving her to pursue Kruger himself.

After Y/N had helped Steve save the men of the 107th, the pair had received a few weeks of reprieve in the beautiful city of London.

Steve admired her as she applied the black pigment onto her eyes with utmost accuracy, the trousers and blouse she wore complimenting her in such marvelous ways he couldn't comprehend. He got up from where he stood, taking long strides towards her, placing a hand on her waist and smiling when his reflection came into view on her vanity mirror. "Hi."

"Hello." She giggled, leaning into him. "Enjoying the view?"

He nodded, swiftly turning her to face him. His grin had dropped into a sly smile as he let go of her, ignoring her inquisitive looks as he dropped down, one knee hitting the carpeted floor. Pulling out a small box, she gasped instantly. "The ring isn't expensive, or lavish." He started, displaying the solitaire diamond ring.

"Oh my god, Steve."

"I love you, Y/N. I want to grow old with you, and share my life with you. I want to have a future with you, and I want it to start now. Right here in this obnoxiously rainy place," They both laughed. "will you marry me?"

Y/N let out a breathy laugh, nodding with clouded eyes filled with tears. "Oh, of course I'll marry you, Steve." She pulled him up, smushing his face against her own into a kiss, the pair of them smiling into it. "I wouldn't want anything else."

Steve wasn't lying when he said he wanted to start now, within 5 days he stood at the end of a chapel with Bucky by his side as best man and Y/N in a pearly white frock and a makeshift veil bought at the nearest corner shop.

It didn't matter that the dress was picked out last minute, or that the veil was advertised to be a gag gift. Nothing could rival the grins on the couples' faces when they said "I do." rings slipping onto their fingers and lips joining in a moment of utter bliss.

It was later that night when Y/N crawled out of bed, slipping on Steve's blazer to shield her bare body from the cold air seeping into the bedroom through the open window. Sitting at the desk, pen in hand, she sucked in a deep breath.

Dear daddy,

We're in London now. Steve managed to save the men of the 107th, I'm sure you've seen the posters all around. He's America's beacon of hope.

I hope Eliza and ma are good. I hope you're good.

I'm writing to let you know that Steve and I got married today. It was fast, we just got engaged last week, but nothing has ever felt more right. Writing this letter, the ring sparkling in the moonlight, it's perfect. I don't regret anything.

Steve has assembled his team, they called themselves the Howling Commandos and I couldn't be more proud. He promises that once they get all of HYDRA's bases, the war will be over and everything will hopefully go back to normal.

I got my happy end, daddy. I know it's not the end, it's just the beginning of a perfect life. A perfect life with my perfect husband, and hopefully my perfect family. I hope you're happy for me.

With all my love,

Y/N Rogers.

"What are you writing, Mrs. Rogers?" Steve queried, sat upright in bed.

Y/N smirked before climbing back into bed, ridding herself of the severely oversized blazer. "Nothing, Mr. Rogers."

The pair broke out into a fit of laughter as he pulled her close, hand trailing up and down her back, dangerously close to the soft skin of her backside.

2 years later, a year after the well grieved death of Bucky Barnes, Y/N had turned 20 and the couple had decided it was time to add to their family now that some light was finally at the end of the tunnel after a long 6 years of war.

Tangled in a mess of sheets, limbs intertwined, Y/N rested her head on her lover's heartbeat. "Do you think we made a baby?" She asked timidly.

"Maybe." She let out a faint giggle, eliciting a look of confusion from the super soldier. "What is it?"

"Do you think the baby will be super duper strong? A mini Steve who can lift an entire car up as a little boy?"

Steve chuckled, snuggling her closer. "Or a little girl, just as strong as you. Either way, they'd be beautiful."

She hummed, a hand on his cheek. "With my eyes and your beautiful blond hair, I'd think so."

It was that same day Y/N would find herself supervising one of Steve's missions from base. "Come in, this is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?"

She instantly rushed over to the microphone. "Steve? Is that you? Are you okay?"

"Y/N! Schmidt's dead!"

"What about the plane?"

"That's a little bit tougher to explain."

She huffed. "Give me your coordinates, I'll find you a safe landing site."

"There's not going to be a safe landing. But I can try and force it down."

"I'll get Howard on, he'll know what to do."

"There's not enough time. This thing's moving too fast and it's heading for New York. I got to put her in the water."

Y/N's stomach dropped, her heart threatening to leap out of her chest as she anxiously twisted her wedding and engagement rings. "Please don't do this. We have time, we can work this out." She begged, eyes brimming with tears.

"Right now I'm in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer a lot of people are going to die, sweetheart. This is my choice, Y/N." She didn't say anything, her head dropping onto the palm of her hands. "Y/N, honey?"

"I'm here."

"We might have to reschedule that doctor's appointment."

Taking in a shaky breath, she wiped the tears of her cheeks with haste, as if Steve could see her. "Alright. I'll book it for Monday."

"You got it."

"10am, on the dot. We can't be late, it's our baby. If there is one in there."

"I want you to know, I love you, Y/N. No matter what. You'll always be my best girl. My only girl."

"I love you too, Steve."

"I was thinking about names. I want to name it after your dad if it's a boy."

She choked a sob, nodding. "Yeah, yeah. I don't mind."

"And if it's a girl-"

"Steve?" Nothing. Not a single breath. She collapsed onto the desk in a mess of tears and loud cries, not caring for Colonel Phillips who stood behind her, a look of pity set on her back.

2011 was a long way away from 1945, Steve thought.

It'd taken him too long to come to terms with the fact that his wife was most likely dead, but when Nick Fury had presented him a box of her belongings, he couldn't help but shed a tear as he sat on the floor of his apartment going through it.

He'd found the necklace he gifted her on their first wedding anniversary, an accessory he now wore himself under his clothing, slipping her wedding and engagement ring onto the chain before putting it on. He grasped it close to his heart, a melancholy sigh leaving his lips.

His eyes narrowed when he came across an unfamiliar book, flipping it open.

Dear Steve,

The war is finally over as of 2 days ago, Japan formally surrendered. I wish you were able to celebrate the victory you worked so hard for.

You missed our doctor's appointment today. You'll be sleeping on the couch tonight after I reminded you to be there at 10am, no later.

I'm pregnant, Steve. What we've been waiting so long for has finally happened and you're not here to see it. I've decided to work with Howard once the baby is here, he'll give me flexible hours and good pay. Enough to keep us going and Peggy's good company.

I'm alone now, now Bucky to help me out, no you. I think I'll keep the house. It would be nice for the baby to grow up in the house we bought together.

I don't know why I've started writing in this stupid thing.

With all my love,

Y/N.

The super soldier let out a strained sob at the confirmation. She was pregnant, and he wasn't there.

He'd missed the entirety of his child's life, and the rest of hers.

The next few pages were short blurbs of her outings with Peggy and Howard, grocery lists and so on.

Dear Steve,

The baby is getting big, I've got a little bump now. Only 24 weeks to go.

Everyone is really excited, maybe more than I am. It's all over the papers "Wife of Captain America pregnant with America's Next Hope."

In truth, I don't want our child to be America's Next Hope.

I just want them to be happy and healthy, and to stay with me forever.

Howard's started building the crib, I told him not to make it too technical. He's putting all kinds of soothers and all everywhere, but it's still nice of him to do so. Peggy took me to London for Christmas and New Year's, we had a nice time and she bought me this beautiful dress. You would've loved it.

I miss you, Steve.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year, my love.

Forever yours,

Y/N.

Dear Steve,

It's getting warmer, and April has never felt hotter. Howard and Peggy keep saying it's just me and my big belly. Well, what else would I expect at 7 months pregnant?

Sometimes I feel you around. I'll feel you sitting at the kitchen counter, reading the paper. Or your hand on my belly in the morning. You're all over the house and somehow it's breaking and mending my heart at the same time.

These daily entries are getting a bit boring now, aren't they?

I hope you read these in a different lifetime, maybe.

Your only girl,

Y/N.

Dear Steve,

Josephine Sarah Stephanie Rogers was born on the 6th of June, 1946.

I named her after your dad, Joe.

I know we never talked about girl names, but I looked at her and I couldn't resist. I just know our little girl is going to change the world, just like your father tried to.

She's a carbon copy of you. Your gorgeous blue eyes, bright blonde hair. She's absolutely perfect, Steve.

And I just know that if you'd met her, she'd have you wrapped around her finger.

But she's all ours, baby. Our little angel, and I couldn't thank you enough for giving me such a stunning gift. Thank you for making me a mother, Steve, it's the best thing I could've ever received from you.

We love you to the moon and back,

Y/N and Josephine.

Steve held his hand to his mouth. He was a father, a father to what would now be a 65 year old woman. A woman who'd already lived most her life, achieved a majority of her milestones, all without him.

Dear Steve,

Happy birthday, my love.

Josephine and I made a cake for you. Today you would have turned 28 years old.

Colonel Phillips visited me today. It was brief, really. He played with Josephine and wished us well.

As I write this ridiculous entry, the wedding rings on my finger feel so heavy, unlike ever before. My heart constantly aches for you, but I will wait. I will wait until it is my time, and I hope you'll be waiting for me at the gates of heaven.

Your ever most loving wife,

Y/N.

Dear Steve,

It's been one year since you've been gone.

I miss you, more than anything in the world.

I'll see you soon, but not too soon.

Dear Steve,

Josephine turned 1 today.

Howard and Peggy threw a party, and you know how Howard's parties are. This one was child friendly, though. He brought a circus and entertained Josephine and all of her little friends from daycare.

Daddy dropped by. He loves Josephine, and he spent most of the day telling her all about you.

She said her first word today. Guess what it was!

Dada. She said your name, Steve. And she'll never forget it.

Wait for me,

Y/N.

Steve only brushed his tears away, flipping through every entry over the next few years.

Dear Steve,

Jo turned 16 today.

It's so odd to think that just 16 years ago I was only 20, trying my best to bring her into the world. We made such a beautiful young woman, Steve, and she's exactly like you. She has a hard shell but she's a big softie on the inside.

I've never been so grateful for a human being. She takes care of me, always telling me the best things to use and the best things to buy instead of it being the other way around. She's my protector, my guardian angel. In that way, she took your place.

Peggy helped me throw a big birthday party for her, she deserves it. She's worked so hard in and out of school. All of her friends came, they danced and ate. We got a massive cake to go with it.

Everyday she hugs your picture and thanks you, and today was no different.

I hope you're looking down on us with a smile, sweetheart.

Y/N.

Dear Steve,

Jo turned 18 a few days ago. I couldn't write because I took her to Paris for her birthday.

I'd been planning the trip for a long time, saving up as much as I could. She loved it! She also told me she got into Juilliard, which is a performing arts school in New York. It's far, farther away than she's ever been from me, but it's only an hour drive. She promises to come home every weekend.

I don't have to worry about paying for it anymore after Howard, Phillips, Peggy and I founded SHIELD. It's protection for the world, saving lives, just like you did.

I have to go, Jo's asking me to help her pack.

I love you,

Y/N.

He read through the brief entries of Y/N's time at SHIELD, before stopping at a picture. Juilliard, class of 1969.

She was right. Jo had inherited all of Steve's looks, from the blonde hair and blue eyes to the kind smile she graced the camera with.

Steve finally got to the end of the journal. Recovering after reading through her daughter's longtime boyfriend turned husband, the births of their grandchildren, the death of Howard Stark and more.

Dear Steve,

I like to think I lived a good 76 years of life. I lived to see the year 2001.

I got an education, got myself a job despite spending my father's money because I was young and stupid. I met you, the skinny boy who told me to follow my dreams of being a scientist. I fell in love with you, and the new you that emerged after the serum.

My love for you is eternal, which has been proven in the 55 years I've spent without you.

I lived to see my only child succeed, I lived to walk her down the aisle. I lived to see my beautiful grandchildren.

I've lived more than enough, and I think it's finally time to come home to you, honey.

I'll see you soon.

Y/N.

Steve brought his left hand to his lips, pressing a small kiss to the wedding band that rested on his finger.

"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." Steve smirked, carrying the briefcase containing the six infinity stones.

Bucky gave him a sad smile. "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." They shared a hug. "I'm gonna miss you, buddy. Tell her I said hi."

"Yeah, Buck. It's gonna be alright."

"How long is this going to take?" Sam questioned as the super soldier stepped onto the heavy machinery.

"For him, as long is he needs. For us, 5 seconds. Ready Cap?"

"I'll be back."

Y/N paced around, lip caught between her teeth. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" She stopped abruptly, turning to face the new voice.

Sighing a breath of relief, she leaped into his arms. "Steve! You're back."

"Yeah, honey. I'm back."

#Steve rogers x reader #Steve rogers imagine #Steve rogers #avengers #Steve rogers x y/n #Steve rogers x you #captain america #Captain America x reader #Captain America x y/n #Captain America x you #Steve rogers fanfic #Steve rogers fanfiction #captain america fanfic #Captain America fanfiction #marvel

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imagineyourworld · 3 years

Note

Congrats on 100 followers! May I request Captain Rex with prompt 9 pretty please?? And could you make it a female senator reader?

Hey,

Thank you <3

Love, Charlie

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Rex x Fem!Senator!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of sex, drinking

9. Friends with benefits

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Though you often fell asleep with Rex laying next to you, it was very rare that you woke up in the same position. Granted, it was earlier than you usually woke up and you had worn Rex out the night before, but it was still kinda strange. Still sleepy and wanting to stay in your warm bed for a moment longer you took your time to really look at Rex. Now that he was asleep the worry lines that often decorated his face were gone, replaced by an expression more peaceful than anything you had seen on his face so far. Gently you ran a finger across his jaw, over his cheeks and into his soft hair. It was a gesture you would never allow yourself if Rex were awake, too intimate for the arrangement the two of you had, but you couldn't help yourself. There was just something about Rex that made you want more. At first you had thought it was nothing but lust and desire, which is how the two of you ended up in your room after one of Senator Amidala's parties, but no matter how often the two of you had sex, you always wanted more, not just physically, the emotional bond you shared also grew stronger with every touch, every kiss, everytime he entered your body. Only when Rex began to stir in his sleep did you remove your hand. You got up and threw the robe that always hung on the back of your door over your naked body. As you made your way to the kitchen you found yourself wondering what Rex's favourite breakfast might be. Only then did it occur to you that the two of you had never shared breakfast before, if anything Rex downed a cup of caf while you were still waking up before he left your apartment. While you prepared a cup of caf for him and a cup of tea for you, you considered whether that was simply because he didn't want to invade your morning or if he didn't want to stay. If the latter was the case what you were doing now would be quite awkward, but for some reason you couldn't stop yourself from preparing two bowls of porridge with plenty of fresh fruit and honey and bringing them, as well as the drinks, into the bedroom where Rex was still sleeping. You sat the tray down on a dresser before making your way over to the sleeping Captain. "Rise and shine, sleepy head", you whispered against his lips before pressing a soft kiss to them, you then made your way down his jaw once again, pressing kisses on every inch of skin until Rex finally woke up. "Wha... Is this a dream?", he mumbled while slowly opening his eyes. You shook your head, a small smile playing on your lips. While you adored Rex when he pounded into you or when, like yesterday, he lay on your bed and let you do whatever you wanted, this was a new side of him you were quickly learning to appreciate. "If it is I hope it's a good one." Rex sat up and leaned his back against the headboard, allowing you to see the trail of hickeys and bites you had left on his hips where the blanket had ridden down. "The best, mesh'la." There he went again, calling you a nickname in Mando'a he knew you couldn't understand. It really was unfair, considering he had once made you swear to never look any of the terms up. "I brought you caf", you told him as you set the tray down on his lap before slipping into your side of the bed again. You looked at Rex with a bright smile on your face and a warmth in your cheeks, though both slowly began to fade as you noticed his frown. "Is that not... I'm sorry if I overstepped, it's just that we've never really discussed boundaries and I thought I kinda owed you after wearing you out yesterday", you began to ramble. Rex quickly shook his head, but before your smile could return he placed the tray on your lap and left the bed. Quicker than you would have thought possible he pulled on his underwear and blacks, followed by his armour. "I should go. I'll see you... sometime." Without another word or even a glance at you he left, only after he was long gone did you notice that he didn't even drink his caf.

-------

"Has anyone told you that you're really cranky tonight?", Cody asked his brother. Instead of answering Rex downed his shot and put the glass back on the table, the motion a bit too rough, which resulted in a low bang and Wolffe and Fox turning to look at him. In retrospect he should have known that this night out with the Commanders wouldn't go well, but they had been asking for ages now and he had been blowing them off to see you instead once too often. "He's right. Maybe you should find that pretty Senator of yours, I'm sure she could help with that", Wolffe said with a suggestive grin. The frown that now appeared on Rex's face could have given the grumpy Commander a run for his money. "I think it might be a little late for that", Fox told the others. "I saw her take Senator Jablish up to her apartment just two days ago, and based on the looks they've been shooting each other they did a lot more than talk about their new trade deal." No matter how hard Rex tried, he couldn't ignore the sting he felt at his brother's words. Of course you were free to do whatever you liked with whomever you liked, but he couldn't help but wonder whether you would have hooked up with someone else if he hadn't left in such a hurry the last time he saw you. Maybe, a hopeful voice in his head whispered, you felt the same as he did, maybe the breakfast had been your way of making a move. Though in that case he would have ruined way more than the chance to have sex with you again, he would have ruined the relationship of his dreams before it even had a chance to begin. "But can you blame her after what Rex did?", Fox continued. The blond suddenly looked up from the drink he had been staring at, his eyes shifted to his brother instead. “What are you talking about?” Fox shook his head at Rex’s question. “I’ve overheard her telling Senator Amidala that you practically ran out on her the one time she tried to make you stay. I guess she figured you weren’t interested.” While Rex took a moment to process this new information, to realize that his hunch had been true and the breakfast actually had been your way of trying to add something more to your relationship, Wolffe raised an eyebrow at Fox’s words. “You overheard? Just how exactly does one overhear something like that?” Fox shrugged, but he didn’t have time to answer before Rex jumped up from his seat next to him and all eyes turned to him. “I... I need to talk to (Y/N)”, he muttered more to himself than the others. Cody, Wolffe and Fox all showed their approval in different ways, through slow nods, sly smirks and raised eyebrows, but Rex didn’t pay attention to that, instead he simply tossed a handful of credits, enough to cover not only his tab but everyone else’s as well, onto the table and hurried out of the clone bar.

-------

You were surprised to hear a knock on your door this late at night, which is why you were extra careful when you pressed the button to the downstairs speaker and asked who it was. “It’s Rex. Please, cyare, I need to talk to you. Please let me in.” To say you were shocked would be an understatement. To be honest, you hadn’t expected to ever hear from Rex again, not after he had hurried out without a proper goodbye. “I... Rex, now might not be the best time”, you said, biting your lip and looking over your shoulder to where Kiile Jablish was sitting. “Please, (Y/N), I really need to talk to you.” Maybe it was because you had never heard your Captain sound like this, or maybe it was because Kiile being there would show him that you didn’t need him, which no matter how often you told yourself that wasn’t true. Whatever the reason, you pressed a button to open the door. Only the blink of an eye later Rex stood in front of your apartment door, slightly out of breath as if he had sprinted up the stairs. He didn’t hesitate to take your hands into his, and though, or maybe because, you felt that a big moment was about to come you gentle removed your hands from his grip and beckoned him inside. You closed the door behind you and the second you turned around you realized the mistake you had made. Kiile was staring at you and Rex, his eyes wide and questions written in them. To be honest, the moment you had laid eyes on Rex you had forgotten that he was even in the room. “Maybe I should... I’m gonna go”, Kiili said as he stood up. He quickly grabbed his coat from the back of your sofa and made his way to the door where you and Rex were still standing side by side. “I’ll see you tomorrow, (Y/N)”, he said, pressed a kiss to your cheek and hurried out of your apartment. Slowly, as if the movement brought him great pain, Rex turned away from the spot Kiili had just been sitting in and faced you. “So it’s true?” You were well aware that Rex could probably read the confusion on your face like a book. “What is?” Rex sighed and motioned for you to sit down on your couch, which you instantly did. Partly because he had asked, but also because your legs were beginning to feel like rubber. Rex followed you, and though he sat down close to you, he kept more distance than he usually did. “Are you sleeping with that Senator?” The confusion vanished from your face and was soon replaced by hurt and anger. How dare he accuse you of replacing him just like that? Even if he didn’t know about your feelings for him, the two of you had been friends long before sex began to be part of your relationship and Rex should know that you didn’t just toss your friends out like that. And secondly, he was the one who had left, even if you were to replace him, it would be his own fault. “No”, was all you said, your tone icy. But Rex didn’t mind that, he reached out to take your hands in his, gently stroking your knuckles before lifting a hand to his lips and pressing a soft kiss on it. “In that case there’s something I need to tell you. (Y/N), cyare, walking out on you was the worst decision I’ve ever made. I didn’t want to, not really, I just did it because... having breakfast with you, breakfast in bed nonetheless, seeing you with your hair still tangled up from sleep and that gorgeous early morning smile you have, I was afraid it would make me think that we were more, that I actually had a change of being with you, of you feeling the same way I do.” You were speechless, but it turned out you didn’t even have to say anything, because after taking a deep breath Rex continued, his voice now a bit more shaky than before. “I love you. I’m sorry it took me so long to say that, but I never thought you might feel the same way, you’re beautiful and smart and funny and the best thing that ever happened to me, I thought, still think to be honest, that there’s no way you feel the same. That’s the whole reason I even agreed to this friends with benefits thing, I thought it was the closest I could get to actually being with you, until my brother told me that the breakfast had been you way of telling me that you wanted more.” You knew it wasn’t the right moment, but you couldn’t help but laugh. How clueless the two of you were, what absolut idiots. With as much love as you could muster you mirrored Rex gesture from earlier by pressing a soft kiss on his hand, a gentle smile playing on your lips. “Rex, you’re an idiot. We’re both idiots. The only reason I ever hooked up with you was because I thought you wouldn’t be interested in more, I’m not strong and badass, I’m not a solider, all I do is talk. But I love you too, I love you so much, my darling.” Without further ado Rex leaned closer, let go of your hands and instead placed his own on your neck and waist to pull you even closer, before finally connecting his lips with yours. The kiss was softer, sweeter, than any the two of you had shared before, though it didn’t take long for it to become more heated. You put everything you could in your kiss, all the love, the longing, the pining and the desire. For a moment you thought that you must be dreaming, that is until Rex moved away a bit to catch his breath and whisper the most beautiful words you have ever heard once more. “I love you”, he whispered, and you didn’t hesitate to echo his words. In fact, you lost count of how many times the two of you spoke those three simple words that night, and every night that followed.

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This turned out to be a bit longer than anticipated, but I hope you don’t mind.

#captain rex x reader #captain rex x you #captain rex x y/n #captain rex imagine #rex x reader #rex x you #rex x y/n #rex imagine

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yourmidnightlover · 3 years

Note

Hiii! bestie ❤can i request from your 1k celebration: 6 from kiss list with 11 from fluff

Congrats bestie❤️❤️

ughh i love the one bed trope so much i might be ill 😩

if anyone wants to request another blurb, the link can be found here.

kiss list #6: “shut up and kiss me, you dork”

fluff #11: one bed trope

CW: kissing (duh), one bed (also, duh), pining (i think this one goes for itself... duh). *if i missed anything PLEASE let me know*

in the 2 years you’ve known spencer, you had never really roomed with him. it wasn’t because you were against it - you guys were always close. it was because you never needed to.

once he had warmed up to the change of you being on the team, he quickly found that you were the makings of an amazing friend. what sucked is that as the time passed he began to see you as much more than a friend. now, he had just warmed up to the change of you being in his life, who was he to change that even more? what if you don’t like him? what if things didn’t work out?

what if what he feels is more than just liking you?

so, he did what any person who’s afraid of change would do and kept his mouth shut - for all of 1 1/2 years.

so imagine your surprise when the first time the two of you room together, thanks to dereks refusal to room with spencer himself, there’s only one bed.

you walk in the room, tired and droopy and ready for sleep, and you almost didn’t notice the lack of two beds in the room. you heard spencer clear his throat, notably trying to get your attention.

“there’s, uh-there’s only one bed,” he sighed.

“i’ll take the floor,” you groaned and dropped your bags to the ground.

“ridiculous,” he argued. “you’re extremely tired and need a good nights rest. you aren’t sleeping in the floor.”

“well neither are you,” you informed him. “well just share it,” you shrugged as if it weren’t a big deal.

it shouldn’t have been. you were two friends who had to share a bed. but what made it a big deal was how spencer felt about you - and how you felt towards him. it’s often said that feelings can cloud your judgement, clearly not as much as tiredness can.

“alright,” he nodded, setting his bags on the floor beside the bed before sitting on the side, allowing you to make your way to the opposite.

“i’m gonna get in the shower, if you don’t mind?” you began digging in your bags for your sleepwear.

“of course, go ahead,” he pulled a book out of his bag and began reading as you started your shower, changing into his sleep clothes after he finished the book.

by the time you came out spencer was almost asleep. you flicked the light off and tip-toed out of the bathroom in attempt to not disturb spencer. he looked up just in time to see you clad in a large sweater - one that seemed to resemble one he had himself. he assumed you wore shorts underneath, then being covered by the shirt.

“sorry, did i wake you?” you grimaced.

“i wasn’t really asleep,” he whispered, eyeing your clothing once more.

“i kinda have it from when i was cold and you let me borrow your sweater. it’s really comfy,” you explained; spencer nodded. “you can have it back if you want? i didn’t mean to overstep.”

“no-no, keep it. it looks better on you anyway,” he smiled, confirmation that you were alright as you were.

you placed your clothes back in your bag before slowly crawling into bed as if you could still disturb spencer. you looked at him once you were settled in, finding that he was looking at you.

“what?” your eyebrows shot up and eyes went wide curiously. “is there something on my face?” you now squinted your eyebrows and wiped your cheeks with your hands.

“no,” he laughed, reaching to remove your hands from your face. “there’s nothing on your face.”

“oh,” you were even more confused now. “umm, thanks for not letting me sleep on the floor.”

“i don’t think i’d be able to sleep if i knew you were sleeping on the floor,” he explained.

“you might be one of the nicest guys i’ve ever met, spencer,” you smiled, brushing a strand of hair from his face.

“i uhm- thanks,” he blushed. “you’re - you - you have...” he stuttered, chuckling as he lost his own words. “you’re amazing.”

“thank you, spencer,” you laughed in return. “you don’t get compliments often, do you?” he shook his head no. “you should - get them often, i mean. you’re kind and smart and sweet and gorgeous and-“

“you think i’m gorgeous?” his eyes went wide with shock.

“of course?” it was now your turn to blush. “sorry, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“you’re beautiful, too,” he whispered. once you turned to face him, you saw how nervous he must’ve been to say something so endearing. “and witty, and you actually listen to my rambling - kinda like right now- and you have this way with people. you make them feel so comfortable and it’s really easy to talk to you and open up to you, which is quite the conundrum since i’ve had to hide the fact that i’m in love with you for over a year now and-“

“you what?” you awed at the lanky man laying in bed with you.

“i... didn’t mean to say that,” he mumbled, now afraid of his own voice speaking too loud.

“spencer... you love me?” you marveled, wanting him to confirm it. wanting just a shred of hope for yourself.

“yes, i’m sorry,” he muttered. “i didn’t want to say anything because that would ruin our friendship. and now i have ruined our friendship and i don’t want to lose you. please just act like-“

“shut up and kiss me, you dork,” you placed your hands on his face, pulling his lips to connect with yours.

he was clearly hesitant at first, surprised by the contact of your lips on his. they were soft, he noted. you were gentle and comforting, much like your personality. he found himself needing more.

spencer had never been good with words. he wanted to show you just how much he loved you in this kiss. he didn’t know if you felt the same but now that he had his opportunity to convey how he felt without words he was all the more grateful.

his hands connected to your cheeks softly, drawing your jaw closer to his own so he could emit his emotions for you with his lips as the passage.

“in case that didn’t tell you, spencer,” you smiled, your forehead pressed against his own with your hands tangled in the hair at the back of his head, “i love you, too.”

#mggwl 1k celebration #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff

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mcmactictac · 3 years

Text

Ramble time!!!! Boy oh by do I have thoughts today!!!

(It’s been a while since I’ve read the books, I plan a re read soon so sorry if everything isn’t totally accurate!)

Why do I never see anyone talking about how low Percy’s self esteem is? I feel like we all make him out to be this cool, know it all guy who is super confident right? But he ISNT. And throughout the series you can see aspects of his mental health shown in different ways, but I find it the most interesting to look at the difference a POV change makes.

We as a reader know that Percy is powerful, but we don’t get a sense of how he comes off to other people until we get Frank and Hazels POV’s in Son of Neptune. Both of them are in awe of this kid, I mean Hazel thinks he’s a GOD IN DISGUISE when she firsts meets him. That’s no small feat, and almost everyone seems to find him incredibly impressive and intimidating too.

But when we get Percy POV’s (I’m talking mostly PJO here but HOO is also applicable) he’s totally humble? This is the kid who beat the god of war as a 12 year old with virtually no training in combat, or of his powers. That’s a HUGE deal. And Percy never really has that big moment where it’s like “woah, I just beat the God of war, that’s a massive deal”. He constantly undermines his own achievements, simply in the lack of acknowledging and appreciating them. It’s just another thing to him, something he did to save others. He’ll literally hold the sky and brush it off like it was nothing. And it seems like it’s nothing, but he consistently does it! The readers don’t notice it as much because we don’t know any different. It reads as just being insanely humble, but there are times when you deserve to step back and appreciate what you accomplished. Percy rarely (if ever) does that, and often just passes it off as luck or a mistake that it worked. Something that worked out by chance, and not a pattern him being successful.

I personally like to believe he doesn’t notice or brag about any of these things because of his low self confidence. Objectively, beating a god is an incredibly impressive thing, that Percy would praise in other people, but when it’s HIMSELF it doesn’t matter. That’s what his expectations for himself are. It isn’t an achievement but more of a “congrats, you didnt screw up this time. Don’t know how you pulled that off”. It’s more of being excited/surprised you didn’t fail, instead of celebrating the achievement.

Battle of the Labyrinth. There’s a lot going on there. Literally most of the main characters in this book have a crush on him. Annabeth, Rachel, Calypso, and Nico all express interest in him, some more clearly than others. And for the most part? They are NOT subtle. Even though readers only have Percy’s POV, it’s still blatantly obvious to us that Annabeth, Rachel and Calypso all have feelings for him. So why doesn’t Percy recognize it? I mean you could argue that he is unobservant, but we see everything narrated through his eyes. Which means he sees and processes everything we know. He is totally aware of the signs of people flirting with him, but he just cant comprehend the fact that someone could be showing interest in him and doesn’t even consider the possibility. Most of the time his reaction is genuine surprise when he realizes someone has feelings for him. He can’t wrap his head around that idea without being explicitly told. I feel like this relates into confidence again because despite all the signs being there, he automatically assumes that he’s misreading them. He basically doesn’t view himself of someone worthy of having a crush on.

People with ADHD also have a tendency to have way lower self confidence: Since they are constantly told they’re doing something wrong, or misbehaving, or corrected on something they can’t control, it can be really challenging to not feel like a failure, or think something is wrong with you: Not meeting up to neurotypical standards can be incredibly challenging, and can make people feel bad about themselves when they don’t meet those standards. People with ADHD often receive so much external criticism, and If you don’t realize what you have it can potentially be even harder, since you are constantly trying to match a neurotypical level, and not understanding why it’s so much harder to reach. That negative talk you hear so often around you gets internalized into your own narrative, and makes you more critical of yourself as well. I’m sure having an abusive parent only made this worse. The way Gabe talks to Percy and about Percy sets him up as this problem child who doesn’t deserve anything. Sally is amazing, and I love her, but she can’t magically undo the negative impact all of that commentary from Gabe, teachers, and peers has had on Percy’s view of himself.

It’s also interesting when you look at HOO, when everyone is comparing Percy and Jason, and who could win in a fight. Everyone has their thoughts and opinions, and it’s something Jason thinks about a lot. Jason and Percy view this “rivalry” in a really different way. Jason has been raised to be the best, he is a strong and capable warrior who is pretty confident in himself once he starts to remember who he is. Jason worked his way up and earned his position as a leader, it was something he wanted and chose to be. He is confident in himself, and just wants to prove to others that he is strong and capable, a leader worthy of putting trust in. Percy on the other hand was forced into a leadership role. He was forced to take his first quest and he had no choice in being the child of the prophecy. He doesn’t even really want to be, I think he would have been perfectly happy if it was Thalia’s problem instead. He adapted and learned, but he still doesn’t see himself as a leader. He feels as fake as he did as a young kid, having no idea what he was doing. Faking it all and hoping that no one would notice the doubt he hides from them.

Just because Percy doesn’t see himself in a “negative” light, does not mean he doesn’t have severe mental health issues. Since it’s a children’s series, obviously a lot of it is glossed over or lies more in the subtext, but I wish it was something the fanbase acknowledged more because its so interesting!!

#percy jackson #percy pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo hc #hero’s of olympus #pjo/hoo #pjo text post #pjo analysis #jason grace #annabeth chase #I don’t know what else to put here #I hope this finds the target audience lol #is this niche? I have no idea

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mdverse · 2 years

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heyyy it’s me again!! so u obv don’t have to respond to this if u don’t want to cuz i don’t wanna clog ur blog but since u asked about it: i guess my favorite thing about the vb au would just be the way you’ve redone the relationships between each character!! like honestly with the team itself i’m so curious what would be going thru their heads during a game and how they would have to rely on each other, and i love that they all have to kinda earn each other’s trust (since aside from sugar and brittany everyone is meeting for the first time if i remember correctly? i could be completely wrong ahh) and bond as a group. i also adore the furtana friendship 😭 it warms my heart. santana and finn having known each other since childhood just like, makes a lot of sense for them and i don’t think i’ve seen that done before, so its really cool!! my other favorite thing has gotta just be how u draw everyone. like, i know that’s not an au exclusive thing but ur art style is so cool!! i love the way u color eyes, they always pop and it’s a really cool detail. u also are really good with like, dynamic poses? idk if i’m making sense cuz i don’t really know anything about art, but when u draw movement it always looks natural and like there’s weight behind it? anyway i love everything about the vb au and i think u are an incredibly creative person for being able to come up with it all. also congrats on the redbubble!! sorry if this is long, again pls don’t feel like u have to respond to this i just didn’t wanna leave u hanging. sorry this is a mess, have a good night!!

adlkhf anon listen,,, i may be trying to not clog my blog too much but i can never resist rambling about vb au,,,,,, especially with such an enthusiastic ask! ill just slap some thoughts under the keep reading for anyone who's interested but just know that u gave me a lovely burst of motivation to actually work on the fic!!! admittedly my school semester has just started so who knows how writing will go but ill be working on the outline later :)))

anyway the character dynamics!!!! they're so fun to think about and i love them all! ur right about britt n sugar being the only ones who knew each other properly before joining the team so their dynamic is already set and wildly chaotic, but quinn and tina both know of e/o and of the britt/sugar duo bc they've seen e/o in tournaments :) so a lot of the main relationships on the team are developing at different speeds and from different starting points! which does make it kinda hard for me, a clown, trying to balance all of them lmao but it's still really fun and i'm so pumped to draw all of them together

as for furtana! my beloved! i'm assuming the reason there are so few close finntana dynamics in fics is bc of the whole outing debacle... which is very valid.... but that's why aus are so fun right? finn and santana are 2 of my faves so exploring a world in which they grew up together just kinda came naturally to me. especially when u look at their s4 interactions bc they've clearly bonded and care about e/o, even if we don't get to see the extent of it :) and then adding kurt to the mix,,, they're all dumbasses in their own ways so the resulting dynamics are really entertaining! i love imagining the sheer chaos that comes from them juggling a max of 2 brain cells between them,,, but there's also so much love there and that's easily my fav part!!! i could gush about them for so long adjshfjksdg

to sum things up im so incredibly grateful for ur enthusiasm about this au! im ridiculously passionate about it so knowing that other people like it too makes me all giddy sdkfhs and just know that u are very welcome to drop in my inbox and talk about it some more :)

#ask md #anonymous #i went on a long ramble of my own hdkhsdlf don't mind me #but seriously thank u for the ask #both asks actually #bc i woke up to this one and it made me smile so much #<3 #vb au asks #my writing #rfbd :)

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cuntess-carmilla · 2 years

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hey thank you for your reply and im so sorry to hear about bruno. losing a pet is always a really tough situation. i hope you're feeling better now, i'm sending you good thoughts and well-wishes!

also i talked to my support person about the doctor's visit and she got righteously baffled and irritated at the doctor's behavior as well, so we're looking to book another doctor's appointment where she'll hopefully be accompanying me - it truly sucks that people have to have someone in their corner to advocate for them when it comes to doctors, but my support person told me she 100% believes me about how unwell i feel, and wants to get to the bottom of it, which is reassuring! thank you for all the information you're sharing and talking about your experiences. without you, i think i would've continued to simply accept the pains and aches and fatigue as a side-symptom of trauma, adhd and depression, but now ive got the confidence to keep journaling about my symptoms to hopefully get to the bottom of it and get the support i need to make my everyday life a little bit easier/more bearable, and stop feeling like i'm running against a wall with my mental health recovery bc right now it really much feels like a case of "the spirit is willing but the body is weak" lmao. anyway a little rambly but i appreciate you and i genuinely hope things get better for you soon.

(ps. congrats on the first kiss with tomboy!! reading your post about it made me smile really wide, your blogging about them is very sweet)

hey nausea anon again, i think i forgot to mention that in the last ask. sorry about that! also, i seem to have lost the fatigue severity scale and i remember you reblogging it. i tried to search your blog with keywords but i cant seem to find it, and google only gives me a really blurry one reposted to facebook. i just figured id ask if you happen to have it saved in a more legible quality. thanks again and no worries if you dont!

I'm so sorry I keep replying so late, my energies have been all over the place. :(

I am feeling better. I still miss the little boy but I'm happy we got to enjoy him in the very short life he was destined to have. Thank you so much.

I'm really glad that at least you have someone in your life who sees things as they are and validates you. It's always good to get that from anyone you can get but it's even more impactful when it comes from someone who knows you personally and is physically present to support you.

It never stops to make me feel happy and like I'm doing something of worth when my whining and ranting turns out to help someone, I appreciate it like you have no idea. <3 And thank you about the kiss thing! She's my girlfriend now and I'm so happy. I'm gonna give her flowers tomorrow.

Here's the fatigue, physical pain, and mental/emotional pain scales! I hope I'm not too late with handing them to you now.

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