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moviewarfare · 3 years

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A Review of “Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021)”

The movie that hardcore dedicated Zack fans fought for has finally been released. I'm not a huge Zack fan and I honestly didn't like Batman v Superman (BvS), although I did like Man of Steel, I also supported the movie because I believe the movie released should've been Zack's true vision. I watched Justice League (2017) in theatres when it came out and thought it was a very bland movie that had very obvious reshoots from another director in it. If I had to give that movie a rating then I would give it a 1.5/5. The premise is still the same "Fueled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman's (Henry Cavill) selfless act, Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) enlists newfound ally Diana Prince (Gal Gadot) to face an even greater threat. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman work quickly to recruit a team to stand against this newly awakened enemy. Despite the formation of an unprecedented league of heroes-Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman (Jason Momoa), Cyborg (Ray Fisher) and The Flash (Ezra Miller) -- it may be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions". So does this live up to the hype or is it overrated?

Let's get this out of the way first, this version is infinitely better than the 2017 version. The best scenes in the 2017 version were all Snyder from watching this version. I did wonder how different this version was going to be from 2017 one but it feels completely different. I would say 70% of the 2017 version is in this movie but the editing, removal of Whedon scenes and addition of new scenes changes this into one with tonal consistency and coherent storytelling. Since this version is longer, it also feels like there are more build-up and tension throughout. Due to this every scene that was also in the 2017 one now feel a lot better and earned. The screenplay is still written by Chris Terrio but unlike BvS it feels a lot more engaging and not unironically silly. Some powerful and emotional lines here resonated with me which is quite surprising.

Additionally, the action scenes are more enjoyable in this one due to its R rating and how it's longer now. The biggest change is to the action in the climax where instead of in 2017 where Superman does everything, the team all contribute so it feels like everyone was relevant to the team. Junkie XL returns to score this version from BvS and it is amazing. His score adds a lot of impacts compared to Danny Elfman's 2017 version. It's a lot more memorable and makes scenes feel more exhilarating. There is also an Aquaman and Flash theme of the sort that sounds great albeit not as iconic sounding as say the Wonder Woman, Lex Luthor or Superman theme from BvS. The cinematography by Fabian Wagner is pretty good for the most part and there are still those gorgeous shots that we expect from Snyder. The humour from the 2017 version is now toned down substantially so no more "wHaT iS BRunCh? or Flash landing on Wonder Woman boobs, thank god. Surprisingly, there is still a fair amount of humour here compared to BvS which some say was lacking in a lot of fun. The humour in this version land a lot better and is the right amount as well which add some levity to a mostly serious natured story.

The biggest improvement this version has is the characterization. Cyborg has a proper fleshed out arc in this version. You have a greater understanding of his dislike for his dad and his feelings about his current situation but still having a believable development where he grows to accept who he is now. He is the heart and soul of this movie in thanks to Ray Fisher's wonderful performance. They turned a character I barely cared about even before the 2017 version, into one of the most interesting and memorable characters. His relationship with his dad played by Joe Morton is some of the best aspects of the Justice League. They also conveyed his power very well and made it seem incredibly powerful. Flash is also improved a lot as he now has more to do. Despite still being the comic relief of the team, he is no longer unbearably annoying or treated as trash compared to Superman and is now actually doing super cool things that make him way more interesting. Ezra Miller is quite lovable in those comedic moments which are genuinely funny but when the serious moments come, he delivers a great performance.

Aquaman has some slight improvements as well. More scenes are explaining his reluctance to become King of Atlantis and also some more scenes showing his stone-cold outwards personality but hidden kindness compared to the others. I also love his interactions with the Flash including a small scene where Flash is asking Aquaman which looks better which is just a nice interaction. He also does a bit more aqua looking powers in the neat climax. Wonder Woman has more action scenes that make her more badass which is nice. Her animosity and rivalry against Steppenwolf is a lot clearer as well. She also has some nice interactions with nearly every member of the league including Superman and Alfred. Batman has a naturally continuing story from BvS where he is the one who is trying to assemble the team. His interaction with Alfred are some of the best with Alfred questioning him not doing things with a reason but from guilt instead. Unfortunately, his action scenes don't live up to that of BvS and he doesn't change at all from beginning to end. Superman appears near the end, so there isn't much to his character arc or story since it was just beginning. He wears a black suit in this version but it doesn't have much significance in terms of story or reason behind it apart from it looks cool I guess? Batman and Superman the most iconic characters are the weakest characters in the story surprisingly. Steppenwolf (Ciarán Hinds) has clearer motives this time around as he now wants to collect these Motherboxes to get back into his master, Darkseid, good graces again. His new design makes him look more alien and his action scenes make him more fearsome. He is a better villain compared to the 2017 version but is still just someone for the league to fight rather than an interesting villain.

However, some characters don't improve in this version including Lois Lane (Amy Adams) who in every scene is just mourning Superman. She is described as a key character but doesn't do anything else apart from hogging screen time. Commissioner Gordon (JK Simmons) has fewer scenes in this version compared to 2017 and both just involve him talking. Makes me wonder why JK Simmons bulked up for the role just for talking scenes.

The 4-hour length of this movie is honestly fine since it is releasing on streaming and since fans have been fighting for ages, they might as well see everything that Zack shot. However, in terms of the story, the movie could still convey important aspects without having to be 4 hours. There are a lot of scenes that drag on for too long or pointless scenes that don't add much which could easily be cut. The pacing of the first half is incredibly slow as well and it takes a fair amount of time for things to start picking up. There are also some scenes with slo-mo and some vocal song in the background that are kind of cringy and go on for way too long as well. The team don't even assemble until over 2 hours. The ending also goes on for too long which is weird as there is a very satisfying ending but then it keeps going. This new additional shot ending from Zack is cool but it feels slapped on. There are also some scenes concerning a certain character that occurs over halfway through the movie but is just really distracting from the main plot. They then appear at the ending but it feels kind of unnecessary for the story. I don't particularly mind the 4:3/square ratio that this movie has but it does take a while to get used to and I still find 16:9 would look better on my TV. Finally, some of the CGI looks bad and unpolished which is slightly distracting because they are very noticeable.

Overall, I was incredibly surprised at how much I enjoyed this version of the movie. I'm not a big fan of Zack Snyder but this might be his best work so far. I am glad he got to release his vision of Justice League and hope that this isn't a complete one-off thing. This was a great win for fans and was worth the long, gruelling fight.

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heathneycanon · 4 years

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okay so i ranked 113 total drama/ridonculous race ships based on how much i like them with explanations below the cut.. fair warning that i’m a lil mean to some of the ships lower on the list.

also i forgot to include dwayne senior and that one girl’s mom from rr because i literally forgot they existed until now, and i don’t want to manually add them in so i’ll just say that i think they’re cute but not super interesting.

EDIT: this has been updated post-roti-rewatch. i switched around the order of a couple ships, and added a new one. if i ever rewatch rr or pahkitew i’ll probably edit it again, but the likelihood of me rewatching either of those seasons any time soon is... ok i was about to say it was slim but it’s probably not

also i’m not ever adding in dwayne and the mom because i like it being a part f the description lmao. an afterthought. as it should be.

enjoy!

113. stephanie/ryan - i HATE the daters/haters. they’re like a weird, shitty mix of tda gidgette and duncney. like, they’re either annoyingly all over each other, or they’re toxic and fighting. tbh, they’re pretty toxic all the time. they stuck around for way too long imho.

112. jacques/josee - I CHANGED MY MIND IGNORE THIS

111. tom/jen - tom is canonically gay, and i hc jen as a lesbian. so i’m not a fan of this ship.

110. nemma - yeahh, knowing me, this is also a predictably low ranking. i hc noah as gay and emma as a lesbian, so again, i don’t vibe with this one.

109. coderra - i can only deal with this ship in rewrites. i’ve seen super well thought out rewrites of coderra and sierra’s character, but as it stands, i really don’t ship this at all.

108. davesky - dave is an incel lmao. anyway yea this ship initially seemed like bootleg zoke, which was kind of bootleg gwent, but then BOY did davesky get worse. i can’t stand dave and i can’t stand pairing him with sky, either.

107. leonard/sugar - why. i hate both of these characters. no thank u.

106. ella/dave - ok so u know i don’t like dave. i also hc ella as a lesbian, she hasn’t realized it and is dealing with comphet. i don’t like this ship.

105. topher/ella - i hc both of them as gay. they are friends tho.

104. macarthur/brody - in case you’re noticing a trend, i do in fact hc macarthur as a lesbian. i also don’t really care about her at all lmao. anyway, not a fan of this one. i really don’t understand why fresh thought this was a good idea.

103. noah/katie - again, i hc noah as gay, but this ship is more funny to me than anything else because these characters were shipped together so often early on, when they both a) barely had any characterization and b) had never interacted? anyway yea i don’t ship it.

102. cameron/sierra - this one’s weird? literally sierra had a crush on him or whatever because he reminded her of cody even though they’re… nothing alike? dude please get sierra some therapy oh my god

101. heather/justin - i knew someone who really, really shipped them once, which is why i’m including it. anyway i cannot see this ship at all, next.

100. amy/rodney - i guess this existed? i barely remember pahkitew, and i know rodney had a bunch of crushes, but this is the main one i remember so it’s the only one i can be bothered to include. anyway this relationship didn’t seem healthy at all.

99. max/scarlett - i don’t like max and i don’t really care about scarlett, but i also hc both of them as gay, so this is a no from me.

98. gwody - creepy and bad. i don’t trust people who ship this or davesky.

97. dashawn - shawn can do better. that one scene where they look at each other when dave has to kiss the person next to him is kinda funny tho.

96. topher/dave - marginally better than all other dave ships just because topher is there and i like topher. again tho, topher can do much better.

95. malejandro - why does this ship exist.

94. ezekiel/bridgette - not my thing at all. i don’t care about zeke too much, and i have a lot more ships with bridgette that i prefer over this one.

93. cody/beth - i only care about cody in certain contexts, and i practically never care about beth. i wouldn’t click off of a fic if this were a background pairing or whatever, but i definitely wouldn’t seek it out.

92. ezekiel/beth - again, don’t really care about beth or ezekiel that much. but in certain contexts, i can see why this would be cute.

91. courtney/jose - the only way this is cute is alongside aleheather, so that courtney and heather could marry into the same family. but also, why is this a ship that exists?

90. scourtney - i love both scott and courtney, but no thank u. they had absolutely no chemistry, and courtney was using scott both in the competition and as a rebound. not a fan.

89. gwen/cameron - is this a thing that exists? i found a screenshot of gwen kissing cameron on the cheek but is that edited? if it is real, i probably blocked it from my mind.

88. courtney/cameron - now i know this one exists in the weirdest, stupidest way the show could’ve gone about it. barely even qualifies as a ship, and it’s definitely not a good one.

87. duncan/zoey - i kind of see why others would like this one, but at the same time, it doesn’t really appeal to me.

86. alejandro/courtney - i love alejandro and i love courtney. but i can only see them as friends, tho i can see them like. kissing just because they’re bored. or to fuck with people. they did that in the show, right? kind of? i forget the specifics.

85. chris/blaineley - while i guess i can see why people ship this, chref is canon and blaineley is a lesbian.

84. katie and/or sadie/justin - why would katie or sadie date justin, when they’re in love?

83. gwuncan - maybe could’ve been good, but literally everything about how they got together and their relationship in canon has tainted my view of this ship. i definitely preferred them as friends in tda anyway. there’s a lotta cute gwuncan fanart out there so i do rb it sometimes tho. i see why people ship this, i get the potential, but for me it’s soured by world tour.

82. laurie/miles - who?

81. mary/ellody - yea ok they’re smart gfs, but also i literally don’t give a shit about either of them.

80. pete/gerry - they’re definitely dating but again i don’t care about them.

79. mike/cameron - not a horrible ship by any means, i just don’t really like cameron that much.

78. alejandro/justin - there are so many superior alejandro ships. and a handful of slightly better justin ships.

77. carrie/devin - wow they didn’t have a storyline that was original in any way! they’re pretty cute tho.

76. sanders/macarthur - would be higher but acab.

75. macarthur/josee - i really like the whole rivals to lovers thing, but again, acab. this is higher than sanders/macarthur because of the rivals to lovers, but mostly it’s because there’s only one bastard cop here rather than two.

74. owen/alejandro - i don’t really mind this one, but i see it as more of a one sided crush on owen’s side.

73. lightning/cameron - i don’t really care about cameron, but the jock/nerd dynamic is kinda good.

72. rockspud - they’re definitely a couple, but as the trend indicates, i really can’t bring myself to care too much about rr ships.

71. lindsay/beth - best beth ship, worst lindsay ship. i like one this better if lindsay is also dating tyler.

70. lindsay/lightning - a crackship i made up when i was eleven. i just think it’s really funny.

69. noco - not a bad ship, it’s just not my thing. i definitely see why other people ship it, i just ship both of them with other people.

68. ella/sugar - i see why people ship this as well, but i just really don’t like sugar. i can bring myself to see past that because this dynamic is genuinely good.

67. sierra/heather - i’ve seen this in au’s and rewrites of sierra’s character, and i see the potential. not bad.

66. bawn - they’re cute i guess? i just never really saw the appeal. they’re not bad by any means, it just seems kind of bland.

65. dakota/zoey - okay so i’m adding this one in as i’m reordering stuff because i rewatched roti. i didn’t have this here initially but their friendship was cute until zoey was all “she’s scary” and voted her off. just saying, if zoey wasn’t written as a hypocrite and was actually written as a COOL character that lived up to the potential of her concept, this would’ve slapped. also i love any combo of dawn, zoey, and dakota, because they’re cute. i’m not including poly ships on here because that’d make things wayy complicated, but i’d be here for a poly ship of these three.

64. scott/zoey - UPDATED. was originally “yea something about this rubs me the wrong way. i feel like if i rewatched roti i would remember what, but i’m not going to do that just for this list. maybe someday.” i ended up rewatching roti for unrelated reasons the next day, and honestly? this one is not that bad. could be cute, potentially.

63. dj/katie - i guess this one’s pretty cute? i don’t really remember them interacting, but i guess i can see why someone would like this.

62. dunhar - i see why people ship this one. i kind of like it? i feel like it would work really well in an au or a rewrite.

61. dott - UPDATED. was originally “i used to kind of like this ship, but now i really don’t. i do love the idea of dawn and scott as best friends who bully each other in the friendly kind of way, though.” but i rewatched roti and... this has potential. i kinda like it. still prefer the bullying friendship tho.

60. scott/mike - again, i see why people would ship it. i’m not sure if people actually do? but it seems like the sort of thing i might have shipped in middle school, so someone probably likes it. but meh, it’s not really my thing anymore.

59. topher/shawn - i don’t remember if these two interacted but i guess this could be cute? maybe?

58. sky/ella - yea it’s cute i guess? i don’t really have an opinion on this one beyond that.

57. dawn/dj - i mean… i get where this comes from. i fully understand. i personally see them becoming close friends, but i also see why people would ship them.

56. dawn/brick - again, i see them much more as friends, but i get why people would ship them.

55. geoff/gwen - this ship kinda interests me because it was originally going to be canon in camp tv, but because of that one gweoff friendship episode in island i see them as unlikely friends.

54. dj/bridgette - maybe you’re sensing a trend here, but i see them as friends. i could probably get on board with shipping them, though.

53. deather - i like them as friends more, but i do think a relationship between them could be fun.

52. ella/dawn - i feel like i’ve seen this ship? it’s not bad! i’m not the biggest fan of ella but this is pretty cute.

51. zoke - i really want to like them, and i wish they were written better. as is, i kind of ship them? there’s nothing wrong with zoke. but both as characters and as a ship, they could’ve been so much better.

50. noah/justin - this one’s interesting! i’ve never actively shipped it, but i can see it for sure. it’s cute!

49. owen/justin - again, not something i’ve actively shipped, but i like it!

48. carrie/kitty - i think they’re both in their late teens? like 18ish? appropriate ages for each other? if so, i like this one. they’d be cute

47. josee/jen - yea i like this. i feel like they would get along pretty well. they’re both successful in their own right. power couple for sure.

46. tom/jacques - again. power couple. i also think they’d go on double dates with jen and josee, which i like a lot. honestly both of these teams are the epitome of mlm/wlw solidarity. i like this one.

45. alecody - i like it! i don’t have much to say about them at all, but i like it.

44. brody/geoff - good ship! putting the romance in bromance. i like this one more when it’s combined with gidgette though.

43. anne maria/vito - originally i put “what is the appeal of this ship? genuinely asking.” as the description, and then an anon sent in this reply: “You wanted the appeal of anne maria and vito? Well here it is; they are both so dumb. Not a brain cell between the two of them. Imagine them trying to do anything domestic like. They could not assemble a bookshelf or make a pot of spaghetti without it turning into a horrible, but memorably fun, mess. They’re soft for eachother but would kick anyone’s ass for so much as looking at the other. Sorry im rambling lmao i just think they are so funny together”. i get the appeal now, so i’m moving this one up.

42. lindsay/courtney - lmao their dynamic is so funny. i don’t know how well a relationship between them would go, but i can see court realizing over time that lindsay is a lot smarter than she initially seems to be. idk courtney’s observant and lindsay is actually pretty smart. i can see it happening.

41. trent/justin - best justin ship, worst trent ship (that i can think of. i’m sure there are more trent ships but i can’t think of them lmao). i can see them getting along pretty well! i bet in universe a bunch of drama brothers fans ship them, because of course they do. i can see the potential here.

40. lindsay/heather - yea this one could be good. i’d like to see a post world tour version of this ship, or an island au where they get together. either way, i like the idea of this one.

39. lindsay/gwen - again, this ship is pretty good. gwen was kind of rude to lindsay at points, but i think after she stood up to heather, gwen gained some respect for her. idk i can see it happening.

38. lightning/scott - is this jock/farmer? jock/asshole? i’m not sure, but i really like it.

37. harzeke - tumblr user harzeke has opened my eyes. their posts are enlightening. the reason i kind of like ezekiel. harzeke is a good ship.

36. sadie/lindsay - remember in phobia factor when they were hyping each other up? yeah. they’d be cute together.

35. dundie - you know, i really didn’t expect them to make this one canon, but total drama dundie came outta nowhere. i wasn’t sure i was going to like them together, but fresh pulled together it’s first coherent plot in years and created a beautiful love story. very well done.

34. chref - chref is canon and u can’t tell me otherwise.

33. katie/sadie - after they got over their comphet, they realized they were in love and they end up having a really cute wedding.

32. ozzy - this ship is cute! they’re both bi and i hc they talk about cute people together because of course they do. also they would be so much fun to be around. i like them.

31. dj/geoff - djeoff? yea i like this. i think they’d both go out of their way to do sweet things for the other, but of course, they’re still geoff and dj. dj would probably bake a lot for geoff, but at least once, he’s gotten nervous and dropped it by accident. and geoff practices pick up lines and jokes before their dates but they’re like. the bad ones. dj loves them. anyway! this ship is good.

30. courtney/trent - i really, REALLY love them as friends, but i like them as a ship too! honestly i just love them getting along in any capacity. i think they’d be cute.

29. dawn/dakota - i made this up five minutes ago and i love it. i have no idea if people actually ship this but they should. just… think about it for a second. think about it and then try to tell me i’m wrong. u can’t.

28. alenoah - noah had a crush on alejandro during world tour, and u can quote me on this. i think they would be a power couple for sure. i like this one.

27. gidgette - season one gidgette is amazing. gidgette in the context of the killer bass five is amazing. season two and three gidgette is kind of meh to me, but not horrible i guess! i like geoff and bridgette and i think they’re cute together.

26. duncan/dj - i like the idea of this one. remember when duncan found dj a bunny? yea. they’d be cute.

25. jock - jock is good. rivals to allies to lovers. that’s the path i see this ship going down. i really like picturing them in any sort of au where they can kick ass together.

24. gwourtney - i used to like this one a lot more, but it’s still very good. i love the idea of them both mistakenly attributing their feelings for each other to duncan and accidentally ruining their friendship in the process. and by love i mean hate but also think is a good interpretation of the love triangle. i can see them together in an au, or after seriously reconciling in the future. or, honestly, in any universe where sundae muddy sundae doesn’t exist.

23. leshawna/gwen - did i hear u say best friends to lovers? no? well you’re getting them anyway. leshawna and gwen would be amazing i’m telling u. it’s a good ship.

22. tyler/alejandro - this is the third time i’ve said someone had a crush on alejandro during world tour, but. tyler had a crush on alejandro during world tour. i think they’d make a cute couple.

21. jashawn - this is a relationship built on respect and trust and i am here for that. they’re both a lil weird but neither of them mind, and they care about each other so much… i’m soft.

20. jasammy - i like this only marginally better than jashawn. honestly, i like all three dating the most. but anyway, jasmine was the first person who saw sammy as more than an extension of her sister… she stuck up for her. she was sammy’s first real friend. can i just reiterate… i’m soft.

19. evzy - they would light your house on fire together just cuz they were in the mood. eva bench presses izzy every morning. do not try to challenge them to any sort of competition, they will win by any means possible. eva picks izzy up at every opportunity. whenever they cook anything, they burn it. is this by accident or on purpose? i’m not sure. izzy likes lighting stuff on fire and eva likes eating burnt food for some reason, so it doesn’t really matter. i love their dynamic so much.

18. jomaria - if u were talking shit about either one of them, they would both get together and beat u up. they’re both legends and i love them.

17. gweather - total trauma comic has truly opened my eyes… i really like them in a future setting where they’re both more mature and can understand how they were both in the wrong at times during total drama, and ended up hurting people and were hurt themselves, and work through that together. so basically… in the setting of the total trauma comic.

16. heather/leshawna - rivals to lovers…. au where leshawna and heather get together during tda… i’m telling u it’s a good ship.

15. nowen - imho, this is both the best noah ship and the best owen ship. they complement each other so well. world tour nowen is just. the peak of their dynamic. i think enough has been said about nowen that you can understand why i would like it, so i’m just gonna move on.

14. trody - this one came outta NOWHERE a while back, i’m telling u. but i love it?? i liked their friendship in island, and i just. i love the idea of cody having a crush on both gwen and trent during island, misunderstanding that and thinking he just has a crush on gwen, and realizing after island at some point that he also liked trent. and then trent developing a crush on cody after the breakup with gwen and just… dijfalsfjla honestly i like them in so many contexts. thank u tumblr user gothcody for bringing the trody hype. anyway they’re a good ship!

13. bridgecourt - my favorite bridgette ship! idk i loved bridgette and courtney’s friendship in island, and i can see them having a best friends to lovers type of deal. i just think they’d be cute together, and their relationship would be really healthy and balanced.

12. gwoey - u can try and tell me there wasn’t a little something between these two in all stars, but u would be wrong. their designs compliment each other really well, they’re cute together… i’m a fan.

11. lesharold - SO valid. harold drinks his respect women juice every morning, except for that one time he rigged the votes in island to vote out courtney because he was mad at duncan smh. anyway this is a relationship built on RESPECT and CARE. they’re very cute together, and i love them.

10. dawn/zoey - the superior doey. listen the only reason these two weren’t friends is because fresh decided that zoey was going to think dawn was “weird”? but what if zoey just said that because she didn’t know how to deal with the fact that she found zoey cute… zoey is the epitome of that “i had a crush on a girl and i didn’t know how to deal with it so i sent her a letter that said ‘get out of my school’” tweet. n e way they would be such a good couple.

9. samkota - dafjlsflkaakf i think about samkota and i freak out i’m telling u. like is there anything. ANYTHING. better than a guy loving and respecting his girlfriend unconditionally? and mutual love and respect? … well i mean there are several more entries on this list, so okay, maybe a couple of things, but this shit is galaxy brain right here.

8. aleduncan - ok so apparently something i like slightly more than partners who are soft and even softer for each other is total assholes who care about each other. like alejandro is a gentleman… but he’s a manipulative jerk too. and duncan’s a fucking asshole and i love him for it. anyway when they teamed up in world tour, especially in that episode where they hunted ezekiel (??? what is total drama??) i really liked their dynamic.

7. lyler - ok back to love and respect. tyler and lindsay are so good!! tyler got so excited when lindsay remembered who he was right? and lindsay never stopped asking ppl if they were tyler ok. like she knew she cared about tyler enough to want to be with him even when she didn’t know who he was?? i feel like we don’t talk about the implications of this enough. honestly… i feel like people overlook how much the period in between tyler’s elimination and slap slap evolution must have sucked for both of them? like it was played for laughs but… that shit’s sad :( ok i’m done being sad they’re cute and they love each other and i love them.

6. gwent - yea u got me i still care about them. tdi gwent was really sweet! there was a lil pining. a lil outside meddling. and a lot of cute. and GOD during the finale when trent ran alongside gwen with that boulder? he cared about her so much!! of course action ruined it with the shitty portrayal of ocd and a healthy portion of not fucking communicating with your partner, but before that it was good.

5. truncan - you got me, i like the idea of trent serenading duncan with his guitar and duncan liking it a lot more than he anticipated. i think they’d have a dynamic that’s a little more turbulent than most other trent ships, but less so than most other duncan ships. they’d be a lot more balanced i think. i’m a fan of that.

4. scuncan - okay so u remember how i said i like to ship two fucking assholes together? scuncan is peak asshole/asshole rights. all stars totally missed their chance to have these two team up by dumbing scott down, whatever they did with duncan, and of course, introducing scourtney, i’m just saying. scott was actually playing the game pretty well in roti, and duncan was a veteran of the series. the two of them could’ve dominated the game. those fuckin assholes.

3. aleheather - okay now this ship was like, the only central ship that started out good and ended good in this entire series, except maybe jashawn but they don’t count because they were literally only in 13 episodes. anyway they did rivals to lovers right here. also, they simultaneously gave heather a great character arc and wrote alejandro super well. so the characters as individuals were great at the time they got together, and the couple was great together, so what i’m trying to say is… aleheather was and still is amazing.

2. duncney - in case u couldn’t tell from how high gwent is on this list, i am a fan of the tdi ships. another thing you might be able to tell from this list- duncan and courtney are two of my favorite characters in the series. so of course duncney gets a high placement on this list. not only that, but they go from disliking each other to really liking each other, which is something else that i really like. tdi duncney is opposites attract in the best way, where they compliment each other each other instead of clash. beyond that… ugh. eughhh. i don’t even want to think about that. but duncney in tdi alone earns itself number two on the list.

1. heathney - yes i love girls. yes this ship is pretty fucking basic. and no, there are no heathney fics on ao3. i will be attempting to remedy that. anyway, i could see them pulling a rivals to friends to lovers as well, which is one of my absolute favorite tropes. i think they’d be a total power couple. and to top it off, i love them both. a lot. so much. thank u for ur time.

#total drama #i also did this for all of the characters so lmk if anyone would like to see that #confessional

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johannstutt413 · 4 years

Text

(continuing from this post)

While they continued to spend as much time as they could with each other, it was some time before the Doctor and Ambriel went on their third/fourth/fifth date (depending on where one starts counting). Partially because they didn’t feel the need, because simply being in each other’s company was all the blessing they needed; partially because neither of them were sure where to take things from where they were; and partially because both were nervous that, somehow, making it an official date would change something about the experience for the worse. So, rather than make a big deal of it, Ambriel became the Doctor’s assistant so she didn’t have to leave his side, and while she didn’t have much in the way of work to do, she certainly kept him company, and frankly, that’s all he needed her to do to make him more productive than he’d ever been.

So much more productive, in fact, that he earned a raise, including a hefty one-time bonus, and it was receiving this that got him to thinking of another proper date in celebration. The only question was...well, there were a few, but among them, “Is there anywhere you want to go?”

“Hmm?” Amy was in her chair, as usual, spinning in circles until her halo started to wobble. “You mean, like, to eat?”

“Or travel, or whatever. Is there somewhere you’ve just been dying to see?”

Her first few thoughts weren’t terribly helpful, so she dug deeper to try and find something. “Not...really, no. I’m not much of a sight-seer; if we went anywhere, I’d just want to walk around the shops all day.”

“Hm...” That did give him an idea, actually. “I hear Siesta’s got some good shops this time of year, and since we helped out with the Obsidian Festival last time, I think they’d give us a good discount or two.”

“Obsidian Festival? What’s that?”

He smiled. “A big, long concert with some of Terra’s best musicians performing. It was great the day or so we got to watch, but we spent most of the time trying to stop a giant Originum Slug living in a volcano from causing an eruption and destroying the city.”

“That...” Ambriel shook her head. “You should get the movie rights for that. I’m sure you could get good money out of something like that.”

“Oh, we did, actually. One of the company’s FEater worked with in the past is gonna produce it...Where were we?”

She rolled over to him to set her head on his shoulder. “You were talking up Siesta to me, for some reason.”

“I was thinking we could go somewhere nice to celebrate my promotion.” The Doctor booped her nose. “You made it possible, so if you have a place you want to go, I want to go there, too.”

“Oh, well...I don’t know, Doc. All that really matters to me is being with you.”

While there’d never been a doubt in his mind that was how she felt, hearing it out loud was something else. “Amy...Well, is there anything you think would be nice to have?”

“You just want to spoil me, don’t you?” Guilty as charged. “There’s a dress that arrived at the Procurement Division recently that I’ve had my eye on. It’s way out of my price range, so I didn’t have a hope of getting it myself.”

“We can swing by there today after work and get it, then. Sounds like a plan to you?”

Ambriel nodded. “Yeah, that works...You don’t mind if I keep my head here, do you?”

“Not one bit.” He tilted his head so they were touching. “You’re the best.”

“Aww, don’t go filling up my head with that...C’mere, you.”

Later that day, the Doctor, true to his word, took Ambriel to the Procurement Division’s base of operations - aka, the base’s Penguin Logistics corner. Croissant, watching the register so to speak, waved as they came in. “Ev’nin, Baws! You and ya lady friend need som’in?”

“Amy saw a dress the other day she liked.” He turned to her. “Do you see it anywhere?”

“Uh...Hey, Croissant, do you still have the star print dress that came in a few days ago?”

The Forte shrugged. “I ‘unno, but I’ll take a looksie for ya. Wond’r ‘round while I’m inna back, kay?”

“Sure thing.” As she opened the door behind her, and the creaking echoed ominously into the back of an absurdly large warehouse, Ambriel and the Doctor walked through several aisles of special deals courtesy of Penguin’s not-always-still-alive-by-delivery customer base. “While we’re waiting, see anything you like?”

“This place has everything, doesn’t it? Electronics, clothes, camping gear- oh my God.”

He followed her eyes to what he knew was the dress she’d been talking about. “Oh my God is right...I completely understand the price tag on this thing. Do they have a dressing room or something around here?”

“Yeah, in the back. Wanna see if you can get her back to the register while I try it on?”

“If you don’t need my help with the dress, sure.” The Doctor smiled as she gave him a look. “It’s a zipper-back, after all. Aren’t those hard to close yourself?”

Amy shook her head. “I’ll be fine, Doc. See you soon.”

“I’ll miss you~” A quick kiss, and she was off. He wandered back to the counter, rang the bell a few times, and when no one showed up, he decided to wait by the closet door he’d seen Ambriel walk through.

“Hey, Doc?” She half-shouted through the door. “Could you come help me with this?”

The Doctor opened the door to a shocked Amy. “She didn’t show, so I figured I’d wait out here. What do you need?”

“...I need you to zip it up in the back.” There was a note of defeat in her voice, but he couldn’t quite place it.

“I’ve got you covered.” He closed the door behind him and moved behind her to get to the offending strip of metal. “Huh. It’s broken, I think. Yeah, there’s a knot in the back; it’s not you, believe me.”

She sighed. “That’s good. I thought maybe the sugar was settling in places.”

“I mean, we could get it tailored if that was the problem, I bet...Not the right thing to say?”

“Not really.” Ambriel shook her head. “Well, we can’t get it fixed if we don’t buy it, so...Are you still okay with paying for it?”

He nodded. “Not an issue whatsoever. Besides, we might be able to convince them to give us a discount.”

“Maybe...Doc, are you gonna let me change back or no?”

“Oh, right.” The Doctor left, closing the door behind him. “I’m gonna try to get Croissant’s attention again.”

At this point, the Forte was back at her post, a sly smile on her face. “How’d the fittin’ go, Baws?”

“The zipper on the back’s broken - as in, there’s a major knot in it. We want the dress, but I don’t think I should have to pay that much for it when we’ve got to get it fixed afterwards.”

“Well, we price ev’r’thin’ as-is, Baws.” She crossed her arms. “Trust me, you don’t wanna haggle wi’ me. I know all the tricks.”

He smiled. “Really? What about this one: three days paid vacation for you and a plus one.”

“...70 percent retail.”

“I’ll take it.” The Doctor pulled out a card as Ambriel walked out with the dress folded in her arms. “Here you go.”

As they left the department, Amy’s eyes were focused on the dress in her hands. “Hey, Doc? Can I ask you something?”

“Anything you want, Amy.”

“If...If it turns out I am too big for this dress,” she managed, “what are we gonna do with it?”

He shrugged. “If you didn’t want to get it tailored to fit you better, then I guess we could find someone else to give it to. Are you really worried about it?”

“I’ve been eating a lot of sugar lately. You don’t think I’m gonna get fat, do you?”

“Huh?” The Doctor shook his head. “I haven’t even thought of that. Why do you ask?”

Amy shrugged. “I dunno, I just...I’ve never felt insecure about myself like this until the other day. I’d just gotten out of the shower, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I wondered if I was the kind of girl you really wanted to...you know...”

“Oh. I can understand that.”

“Huh?” She frowned at him. “Doc, now you’ve got me worried.”

He shook his head. “I mean I have the same kind of thoughts about myself. I’ll cuddle you like there’s no tomorrow, but there’s this niggling doubt in the back of my head that says if we decide to do anything more intimate, you won’t like what you see.”

“That’s...that’s exactly it. Sorry I doubted you just then.”

“It’s no big.” The Doctor stopped outside the door to her place as she unlocked the door. “You want to come over later?”

She was about to say yes, but another voice prevailed. “Actually...you want to come in?”

“Sure. I don’t think I’ve actually seen your place before.”

“Well, yeah; I was kinda doing it on purpose.” Ambriel blushed as they crossed the threshold. “Sorry about the mess.”

He chuckled. “This is more like how my place was before our first date. You even have the same baking sheet in the sink I did.”

“Heh. I’ll be right back - gonna put this away for now - so make yourself comfortable.”

“Sure.” He looked around, found a spot on her couch that wasn’t filled with pillows, clicked on the TV, and waited. And waited...and started to wonder how her closet was set up if it was taking this long to hang up a dress.

It turned out, there was a bit more going on, as when she returned from her room, she was in a bathrobe instead of what she’d had on before. “So uh...comfortable yet?”

“Pretty much.” He turned the TV off. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you, um...wanted to stay the night. With me. In my room.”

The Doctor was walking through his options. “I...I don’t not want to.”

“It sounds like there’s a but coming after that.” She frowned. “Am I moving too fast?”

“Do you think you’re moving too fast? I mean, are you trying to prove something to yourself, or do you really want to...might as well say it, are you really DTF tonight after that conversation we just had?”

Ambriel shrugged. “We won’t know unless we try, right?”

“Honestly?” He looked down at the floor in front of him for a moment before turning back to her. “You know I’ll love you even if we’re never physical, right?”

“Yeah, obviously.”

Okay, so it wasn’t about that. Good…“Then I guess it is a me thing, because I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“I can go change back, then,” she said, “and we can just hang out, if you want.”

“...If I say I kinda want you to keep wearing that just in case I change my mind, would that bother you?”

Amy smiled. “Doc, I sit on my couch in this all the time, and I don’t mind you wanting to keep your options open. Move some of those pillows for me; I’ll get us something to drink.”

“Thanks.” He watched her walk to the fridge, open the door, bend down to look for something- and suddenly he had his answer. “I’m ready.”

“Ready? For- oh! Really?” She closed the door and turned back to him.

He nodded. “Yep, totally, hundred percent.”

“Huh.” She looked down at her robe. “That was quick.”

“I want to take it kind of slow, but...yeah.”

She rejoined him on the couch. “That’s fine by me.”

“Awesome.” The Doctor slowly moved an arm around her waist. “So um...I have no idea what to do.”

“Neither do I.” They looked at each other, hoping to find the answer somewhere in each other’s eyes...and eventually, they did, as independently they drifted closer for a kiss.

#arknights #ambriel (arknights)#as someone who's never had an experience like this #or anything remotely resembling a dating relationship #it's moments like this that stick in my brain #the next time i write for ambriel #(which is practically guaranteed to happen)#i'll have this playing somewhere in my brain #so...yeah #hope this is sweet enough for you anon #arknights fic

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missorgana · 4 years

Text

leave me a note, till next time

pairing: finn/rey, background han solo/leia organa

fandom: star wars (sequel trilogy)

rating: general

word count: 4833

warning: swearing

summary: “Finn’s very picky about who he gives his music to, so can tell you I was surprised. "Or the plot explained: Rey ends up talking to the cute cashier in her local record store. He's leaving her post-it notes. This crush of hers might be getting bigger than first anticipated. (record store au) happy belated birthday to my babey @sapphicstarlights ♥ really hope you enjoy this perfect!! mwah)

read on ao3

You’re probably wondering what Rey’s doing here. In fact, she’s kind of wondering that herself.

The deal’s that she’s become more or less a regular customer of the cozy, slightly pretentious but in just the right way, record store at the corner of her street.

Or she would be a regular customer, if she actually bought anything.

Rey doesn’t even own a record player.

Yet she finds herself in the small aisles of the Resistance Record Shack nearly every weekend. And don’t ask her about the name, she’s got no idea what it means, the resistance part, that is.

Rey really does like the music playing in here. It varies in genre, actually, first time she was here it was Pink Floyd, other days Amy Winehouse, and today… she doesn’t actually know what artist it is, but it’s still nice.

The store’s actually connected with the coffee shop next door, she’s never bought anything there either, but it only adds to the coziness of it all.

But as she glances towards the front desk every now and then, the real reason why she’s here comes into view.

And there’s nothing wrong with admiring someone from afar, right?

Rey tells herself that, anyway, because visiting this store only for this reason is incredibly embarrassing, in her own head, and a bit weird.

Said person Rey’s been visiting this store for is one of the cashiers, and no, she’s never talked to him, but he’s really pretty, okay?

She doesn’t really know why she’s so drawn by him.

He seems the height as her, and he’s always wearing a band t-shirt of some sort, and it’s not always she knows said band, but maybe she’s checked some of them out from time to time.

Rey’s not obsessing, she swears by that.

This man’s always got his arms exposed, even when she first discovered this store last winter, when it was snowing . And yes, once she walked by and saw him talking to someone outside, no jacket or anything.

Strange. She doesn’t really know if it adds to her interest in him or just makes him weird, who knows.

Almost all the times she’s been in here, he’s controlled the music, and the choices are usually great, but a lot she doesn’t know.

Recently he’s played a lot of non-English music, and it made her realise that she doesn’t really listen to much music outside of her own language.

And maybe, she’s seen him in deep concentration sometimes, reading on the back of a record sleeve, or putting records in order, and found his frown a tiny bit cute.

She knows it’s weird, okay, she knows.

A glance at her watch makes Rey realise she should probably leave, because Leia needed her help with moving the last boxes into her and Han’s new apartment, but before Rey goes a voice startles her.

“You looking for anything in particular?”

And she has to jump a bit, and next to her, he’s standing.

His voice isn’t really what she expected, but then again, she doesn’t know what she expected.

It’s very warm, and he scratches his neck, a look of embarrassment starting to wash over him, “Ah, fuck, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

Rey’s wide eyed for a moment before shaking her head, “It’s fine.”

And awkward silence. Hate that. Say something Rey, god damn it.

“I, uh, no, not really. I gotta get going anyway, I was just browsing.” she tells him, which is a horrible explanation, but she didn’t really plan to, you know, talk to him or anything.

In her time, Rey’s seen and admired a lot of people without ever approaching them.

She does that a lot in the car workshop she’s an intern in, and she did when she was looking for colleges, and she did back in school in England.

Her girlfriend at that time, Jess, told her it wasn’t weird, but maybe she was just lying to make Rey feel better.

Jess is really the only person she’s admired that she’s gotten to know.

She’s not very impulsive, and Rey wishes she was, sometimes. So did Jess, not that she forced her, because she would never. But Jess did some things alone, and Rey felt bad that their differences did that.

They split up when they both went on exchange, though, and Rey’s honestly really glad they’re still in contact.

Ever since, Jess has been encouraging her to date again, but Rey’s come up pretty result-less no matter the time.

She also made the perhaps mistake of telling Jess about the cute guy at the record store, who’s now in front of her, and now, her former girlfriend urges her to reach out.

Maybe that’s why she’s here, really.

Still, he’s in front of her now because he approached her, not the other way around. Jess doesn’t have to know about this, though… right?

“It’s a good section you’re browsing, honestly,” the man tells him, head gesturing towards the sign stating Alternative Rock, 70s. “I sort of wish we had a bigger selection, but you know, only got so much space.”

He ended his sentence with a chuckle, and she couldn’t help but give him a smile back.

If Rey wasn’t sure Leia would call her any minute now, she would stay and talk to him just a bit more. He seems like talking to strangers isn’t really his thing, so she can only wonder why he’s got a job that involves customer service.

Rey can’t really end their conversation on that, though, so she rushes, “I, uh, well. It’s sort of stupid, but I don’t own a record player.”

And in a second, his eyes go wide.

“Oh my god, really? I mean, they’re expensive as shi- Sorry. It’s essential, though!” he tells her, laughing, but quickly holds his surprise, “Or I mean, not to make you feel bad, I know technology’s moved on and all. But you just like looking at records, then?”

And, well, fuck. She can’t really say she’s been looking at him from time to time, that might be the creepiest thing she can ever do.

“Yeah? That’s, uh, that’s why it’s stupid. And I like the music playing here, anyway, and the atmosphere, really.”

And the cashier smiles back at her awkward demeanor, and extends his hand.

Rey has to look at it for a second before he speaks up, “Well, I’m glad you think that, we’re aiming for something… I don’t know, homely, I guess? I’m Finn.”

“Rey.” she tells him, shaking his hand in return. His voice is on an octave higher than her own, and his words rush over one another. And he’s got a dimple when he smiles, but just a single one, which she finds adorable and strange, for some reason.

And she has to look at her watch again, because she really is late, and she looks up at him with an apologetic smile, “Finn, it’s really nice meeting you. I swear, honestly. But I do really have to go.”

Rey doesn’t know why she feels so bad, but she does, and she wishes she could stay a bit longer. But this is way more social interaction than she thought she would be having today.

Maybe Leia’s gonna be proud of her, Jess too.

“Oh Christ, yes! I apologise, I keep a hold of you for no good reason,” he leans on the rack behind him, seemingly trying to assume his own business but not really knowing what to do with himself, “Nice meeting you too, Rey.”

And she can’t do anything more than nod, smiling again, and gives him a stupid, awkward wave before turning around and hurrying out the door.

That was weird, but it went okay under the circumstances, didn’t it? She’d ask Jess that, anyway, when she calls tomorrow. And maybe she’d ask Leia, because she’s always got the right advice to everything Rey asks, somehow.

Advice about boys, or girls, isn’t something Rey’s inquired her about before, but there has to be a first time for everything, she guesses.

And she finds herself pondering over the conversation, in the back of her mind, on the train to Leia and Han’s residence.

And Finn. Rey likes that name.

Finn.

…

The weekend following her first conversation with cute cas- Finn, came, and now, she’s walking into the record store with a new determination.

She, maybe, possibly, told Leia of this meeting, which caused nothing more than a knowing smile and a question of this boy’s name.

Leia also yelled to her husband, stocking up in the kitchen, letting him know what they were talking about, causing Rey’s face to heat up. But Leia and Han had taken care of her, ever since her parents died, so she was fond of their shenanigans.

And the knowledge of Finn only sounded a scoff from her father figure, but he’s always grumpy, and really, nothing ever surprises him, which she finds kind of hilarious.

Rey also told Jess over the phone, of course, and she squealed .

Jessika is no way near a squealing type of person.

When the door closes behind her, Rey spots who she’s looking for, putting a new vinyl record on to play over the bustle of the small gathering of customers.

She has to take a quick breath, but figures it’ll be stupid to just, well, stand here, so Rey approaches him. Terrifying, but also kind of thrilling.

“Hey,” she says, maybe a bit too loud, because Finn jumps, and she’s quick to apologise, “I- oh my God, did not mean to scare you.”

When he recognizes her, he smiles, wider than last weekend she notes, not like it means anything.

Obviously it is, they only just met last time, and now he’s probably just being polite. Shut up, brain.

“Guess we’re even now, huh,” he answers with a laugh, “Really, don’t worry about it.”

For some reason, he makes her feel calm.

She’s not usually like this with strangers, crushing on them or not, so this is different.

Rey’s giving him a smile back, because how can she not, and she has to somehow move this conversation further along, so she finds it in herself to ask a question, “I thought of what you said, and I don’t know, maybe I should invest in a record player.”

Finn’s eyes lighten up now, eyebrows shooting up a bit, “Definitely! Or I mean, as I said, it’s a thing that’s back in fashion, not really that practical, but oh well. Can I ask though, what kind of music’s your thing?”

And in that moment Rey finds herself dumbfounded, and she almost wants to laugh at herself.

Well, hm, now that he asks, she hasn’t really thought about it much.

Rey likes a lot of music, but she doesn’t know if she has any favorites. Is that weird?

“I, uh, it’s… kind of embarrassing. But I don’t really know?”

A look of confusion appears on his face, and she wants to dig herself in a hole already, but can’t really leave this hanging, so she continues hastily, “Or I mean, ugh. I just haven’t really thought of any favorites… you know? Sorry, that’s stupid.”

And honestly, the smile that returns on his face now might be creating butterflies in Rey’s stomach, don’t judge her, okay.

“It’s not stupid, Rey, seriously. You just need to figure out what your niche is, right? You know what - how about I give you one of my favorite records on the side of the player.” he tells, already going behind the desk and digging through something excitedly, “Can’t promise you’ll like it, but ugh, it’s so good.”

This situation’s overwhelming her, but she doesn’t mind right now, because he’s so nice, how can one be so nice?

And why does he have to be so damned cute about it? It’s the worst.

Finn’s already putting it in front of her, “This is on sale right now, actually, if you still wanna try it out? And the record’s from my own collection, so don’t worry about that, okay?”

Rey just nods, and has to chuckle, and gives him a reassuring look, “I’d love that. If it’s not any trouble to you, that is.”

The man’s shaking his head profusely at her.

“Hell, no. Wanna help you into your venture of the music world as much as I can. Prepare to get your mind blown.”

And well, Rey didn’t expect to spend any money today on anything else than groceries, but look at her now. Back on the subway, a giant box in her arms that results her in not being able to sit anyway and other passengers giving her weird looks.

She just wants this awkwardness to be over. Fuck that.

The one she had with Finn, though, well.

Rey didn’t mind that too much.

…

So, you can probably guess that Rey’s going back to the record shack this week, too.

Jess gave her the knowing smile that always gets on her nerves, over facetime, when she told her of her weekend plans.

“I hate you.” Rey told her, but the girl just laughed. Dammit.

But to be fair, this time she’s got more, what do you call it, content for the conversation? Whatever that means.

Rey’s listened to the record Finn borrowed her, to be clear.

She almost immediately set the whole thing up the minute she came home, and well, she hadn’t really expected to buy a record player, and so she struggled to find a placement for it.

Hurriedly cleaning out her desk would have to for now.

And the album was insane, she had to agree with her, well, crush. She can say that. Leave her alone.

Rey had heard of Janelle Monáe before, heard a couple of singles on the radio, as you do, but listening to the whole thing that same night was pretty good, to be honest.

In fact, she found herself putting on the record again when she was making breakfast. And when she took a shower.

But she also found the album, and saved it, on spotify, meaning now would be an appropriate time to return it to its owner.

Thing was, when Rey was packing it to go back to the store, she stumbled upon a blue post-it note, sticked on the back of the sleeve.

Funny that she hadn’t noticed it till today, and she could question her distracted self about that all day, but instead decided to just pick the note off, which read, It’s her most recent album, but my favorite of hers. There’s also a short film made based on it, fun fact. Or well, don’t know if it’s a ‘fun’ fact. Hm. Hope you enjoy it! xo

So, maybe, Rey stuck the note on her bulletin board before she left.

Can you blame her?

Perhaps you can, but the note was nice, and didn’t actually help her infatuation with this man.

And so her mind’s still stuck on that blue note when the bell signal rings over her, a couple of young men hurrying out beside her.

It’s a little busier than last weekend, Rey thinks, but given the size of this place it’s still not crowded enough to be unpleasant. A few of them are residents of the coffee shop anyway, making their through the Jazz aisle while impatiently waiting for their café latte to go.

Of course, she spots Finn immediately.

Stopping her inner self critic, she approaches him as he’s filling up a rack, noticing her with a “Oh, hey!”

He’s smiling significantly bright, and it makes Rey wonder if he’s won the lottery or something. He doesn’t continue, though, so instead she speaks up, “I figured you want your record back.”

Finn seems confused, and in a second remembers, gratefully accepting the album she’s handing him, “Yes! My god, did you like it? I won’t judge you. Maybe.”

His laughter’s easily contagious.

Maybe Jessika was right, Rey’s becoming a lovebird, or lovesick, or something.

“I loved it. Saved it online and everything, actually.” she tells him, and looks down because she might be blushing. Stop it.

And Finn looked proud.

Honestly, she wishes she could see what was going on in his mind, but could definitely tell he was having a good day.

But before Rey could say her goodbyes, another record was placed in her arms.

What’s going on in her life, recently?

The title blond is showcased on the white cover, along with a man sporting green hair. She feels like she should know who this artist is, feels like she’s seen this image before, but comes up empty.

Rey realises she’s fallen silent when Finn speaks up again, “If you liked Dirty Computer, you’ll love this too. I hope.”

She shrugs, “I trust you.”

The silence that falls upon them makes her nervous, because he’s smiling at her, and it feels comfortable, but she also immediately wishes she could take that back.

Finn seems unfazed though. Actually, from the look of his similarly nervous gestures, he’s flattered.

Is this a signal, like Jess tells her? Ugh, Rey hates being this unknowing.

“I, well, I gotta go. Or I mean, gotta stock up. Sorry.” he said, his voice slowing down from its previous upbeat tone.

Rey wishes Jess, or Leia, or even Han could be here and just tell her what to do, because she doesn’t really know. He has a lot of the same mannerisms that she does, but then again, she’s never been good at reading signs.

“Of course.” she replies and is about to be on her way, when the same voice calls again, “I’ll see you around, right?”

His dimple’s appearing again.

“Perhaps.” she replies, biting her lip.

Perhaps.

...

The first thing Rey does when she unpacks the new record from Finn is look for a post-it.

And guess what? He did it again.

Another blue note on the back of the sleeve, this time telling her, Hope this isn’t too weird, hope you’ll like this album as much as I do. And it was great meeting you. That’s weird. Enjoy it, though! xo.

Damn this man.

And of course, the note found its way onto her wall, and the record found its way to the player, and Rey may or may not fall asleep to it.

Finn might’ve jumpstarted a Frank Ocean obsession in her.

Her spotify’s really becoming a lot more useful now, and she actually decides to pay for the stupid premium option just so she won’t get ads while she’s on the train.

Rey’s listened to channel orange, the artist’s previous album, and she might prefer that a tad over the record Finn gave her, but he doesn’t need to know that.

And she actually brings the whole shebang over to Leia and Han, and plays the album for them, they’re pretty excited too.

They keep asking about Finn constantly, but you know.

It’s because of them she doesn’t go to the store that weekend, and Rey finds herself wondering if he expected her to be there. He won’t get mad if she doesn’t give him the record back today, will he?

Truly hope not.

She wishes she had the guts to ask him… about, whatever, anything. His phone number. Or maybe not. Maybe just like, ask him about his life.

God, Rey can hear how lame she sounds.

But the worry in her takes control, which is why she hurries in the store, on a Monday. She’s got an hour before she’s supposed to meet at the workshop, she can make that, right?

Thing is, when Rey makes her way to the counter, she can’t see the man she’s looking for, and she has to fight her stomach from dropping.

Holding onto the record just this longer than the previous made her feel like a bother.

But a curly haired man is controlling the player now, dogtag around his neck and wearing a jacket that… looks like it’s been through a lot.

Rey decides to clear her throat, getting his attention, and speaking up when he gives her a polite smile, “Hey, uh, sorry to disturb you. But is Finn working today?”

She tries to hide her nervousness, but probably fails miserably.

Maybe he’ll just think she’s a friend of Finn’s, and not a random person he’s met a couple times and for some reason lent out his favorite music to even though he barely knows her- or did he talk about her?

Jesus, Rey, no he didn’t, stop overthinking.

“Not today, no, ah- sorry to disappoint.” the man tells her with a chuckle, confident and genuinely sorry at the same time, “Finn’s not on Mondays. Can I be of help, though?”

And Rey can’t help her disappoint, but obviously, of course, he can’t just be here whenever she wants him to, she feels ridiculous.

She’s on the line of walking out again, but figures why the fuck not, and responds, “Well, maybe? He borrowed me this record last week, and I figure he might want it back, so…”

And the cashier’s eyes widen up, and exclaims, “Oh, right!” before realising he might be too loud, “Sorry, Finn told me you might be dropping by. I’ll get it to him, don’t worry about it.”

So trusting him, because why should she not, she barely knows either of them, hands the record to him, but is stopped in her words before she can leave, “And he actually wanted me to give you this.”

And because life keeps getting stranger and stranger recently, what the fuck, there comes the third record her crush has borrowed her.

This might be one of the weirdest relations she’s had to anyone.

It’s somehow a different feel she’s getting from this cover, a band called The Regrettes, the art showing some people, presumably the band, sitting on a giant birthday cake.

“I love this album, actually, Finn’s got good taste. But I mean, music taste’s relative, you know? Got half my taste from my boyfriend, anyways.” the shorter man in front of her says.

She has to chuckle, and thanks him, accepting the bag he offers, so hopefully she won’t be looking as dumb in the eyes of the New Yorkers in the underground as she did previously.

“I get what you mean. And thanks again for this, Finn really didn’t have to. But, uh, yeah, it was nice meeting you....”

He realises the lack of introduction with her words, looking surprised again, “Poe. Sorry, it’s Poe.”

She nods, “Rey.”

“Rey! Honestly, Finn talked about you for ages this weekend.” Poe tells her, and when Rey raises her eyebrow, he continues, “Like, wouldn’t shut up.”

And… what the fuck.

He talked about her.

Is this real life?

At this point, it’s almost like things are happening, and she’s just watching like a fly on the wall, letting it all happen.

She wants to ask into it, but a look at the clock on the wall reminds her she has cars to fix, “Fuck, sorry, hate to end on a weird note, but I’m late. Dammit. Thanks again, though.”

“No problem at all.” and he smiles brightly, giving a wave. “Finn’s very picky about who he gives his music to, so can tell you I was surprised. Enjoy it!” Rey stumbles over herself because what sort of way was that to leave her? Oh God.

She simply nods in her nerves, trying to disappear as quickly as possible, while Poe assumed his business, not weirded out by her behavior, so that’s something.

Rey has absolutely no idea what this means.

She feels like she’s going insane.

And she also feels a little bit warmer picking the new note off, this time a yellow one, This is a bit different from the others, but have a feeling it's just up your alley. Missed you this weekend. xo

...

Looking at the small collection of notes Finn’s given her, she finds something in her, somewhere, to write a note of her own.

That recent one might be giving her some courage.

Everything you’ve shown me is amazing. And Poe was nice, though I sort of wish you would’ve been there. Is that stupid? xo.

Jesus.

She doesn’t tell Jess about this, in case it goes wrong, and because her nerves are on the very edge.

He said he missed her. Could that mean something? Anyway, if he doesn’t reply, she’ll know she read it the wrong way.

Maybe he’s already dating someone and he’ll kindly reject her. Yes. It’ll be fine.

And Rey figures she’ll regret it if she doesn’t act, in the end.

Right?

…

She meets Finn again when she gives the record back, except he’s sort of in rush, so they don’t get much talking done.

He smiles at her, though.

Seems like everytime she sees him, the smile gets a bit bigger.

Is Rey becoming delusional?

And she still finds a note on the back of the newest borrow, this time, Hope you like this one. And maybe I talked about you a little bit, sorry, Poe said he told you. Please don’t hate me. xo.

He might just be making her like him even more. If that’s even possible, at this point.

So, maybe, possibly, she writes a new one back to him.

It takes her a while to word it.

Is she coming off desperate? Creepy? Or just pathetic?

Sometimes, Rey wishes people would just say what they mean to her face.

Guessing is hard.

…

Stop, how could I hate you? Poe did no harm. Just didn’t expect you to talk about me. Hope I’ll see you soon? xo.

…

I guess you could say you made an impact on me. xo.

…

There’s two notes this time, and it seems like he crumbled it but put it on anyway, Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, is that too much? Fuck.

…

Rey’s just about had it with her own mind.

This thing… whatever it is, trading post-it notes with Finn, it’s been going on over a month now. And she really hopes what she’s reading is meant in the way she hopes it is.

Jessika’s expertise on social interaction and finding out what people mean, really mean, told her that he was flirting.

Rey doesn’t know how to flirt.

Jess tells her she’s already doing it, and fuck, she still doesn’t understand, but honestly, action might be required.

Finn’s so adorably anxious, even more than herself, and Rey figures she might as well make a move. A clear move.

Whatever that means.

And she makes sure to wait till her off day, because this isn’t something Rey wants to be doing in a rush.

If it’s a rejection, though… maybe she should’ve thought of that before she went to the store. Now, there’s really not much going back.

Rey’s got courage, dammit, she’s got so much in her that she marches in through the door, up to the counter, spots Finn, thank god, and hands him the music from last week.

Good start.

Only thing is he’s silent and no words are coming out of her mouth either.

She might be seeing Poe eyeing them weirdly from the corner. Fuck it.

Rey pulls out a note, the first one Finn gave her, and writes on the back, and hands it to him.

Finn looks nervous, and bewildered, and fucking cute. And he reads it, and he’s smiling, and he doesn’t look like he knows what to do with his hands.

Are you flirting with me?

“I, uh,” he starts, sucking in a breath, nodding, looking at her and exhaling, “Yes. I mean, it doesn’t look like that? I just-”

“It does.” Rey bursts out. “It does, to me, but I’m not good at… this. And it’s hard for me to say these things out loud. You know?”

And Finn’s whole posture changes, like her words lift an invisible weight of his shoulders, and instantly, he looks lighter. Like he might float away.

“I know.”

The smiles comes easily on to her lips now.

It’s silent again, but the silent that’s over them is entirely different, because it’s a comfortable one, and Rey wishes she would stop blushing but she can’t look away.

Finn’s blushing too.

They’re embarrassing.

So, yeah, Jess was right, and maybe these post-its only made this whole thing ridiculous, but she can’t find it in herself to care.

The man in front of her was flirting with her. Meaning he likes her. He doesn’t give out his music to many, but he gave it to her. She likes him.

“If you’re not going anywhere, uhm-” Finn says, “Are you?”

Nope, why would she? Rey shakes her head.

“I’m off in an hour or so. Would it be okay if I bought you coffee?”

And honestly, for once, she decides not to hold this thought to herself.

“Hell yeah.”

29 notes · View notes

alecthemovieguy · 5 years

Text

Being Nicole

‘Supergirl’ star Nicole Maines’ passion for transgender rights makes her super in real life, too

Transgender activist and actor Nicole Maines knew she was a girl around the age of 3 or 4.

“My case is kind of unique because I have a twin brother (Jonas),” she told Ellen Degeneres during an appearance on “Ellen” in 2018. “So, growing up with him, he was identifying with all these male things and feeling very comfortable in his body, and I wasn’t.”

Maines, the subject of the Mount Washington Valley’s One Book One Valley community read “Becoming Nicole,” slowing began publicly transitioning in the first grade, and officially presented herself as female in the fifth grade, when she changed her name from Wyatt to Nicole.

Maines, who is turning 22 on Oct. 7, became the center of the precedent-setting Maine Supreme Judicial Court case Doe v. Regional School Unit 26 regarding gender identity and bathroom use in schools. Maines had been barred from using the female bathroom after a complaint, but the court ruled that denying a transgender student access to the bathroom consistent with their gender identity is unlawful.

In 2018, Maines debuted as Nia Nal/Dreamer, television’s first transgender superhero, on “Supergirl.” She is returning as a series regular for season five which premieres Sunday, Oct. 6, at 9 p.m. on The CW.

One Book One Valley has a series of events throughout October culminating in an evening with “Becoming Nicole” author Amy Ellis Nutt on Thursday, Oct. 24, at 7 p.m. at Loynd Auditorium at Kennett High School in North Conway, N.H. In addition to Nutt, the plan is to have the Maines family be part of the discussion through a Skype connection.

I recently talked with Maines about growing up transgender, activism, privilege and the upcoming season of “Supergirl.”

“Becoming Nicole” is beautifully written, but it is very journalistic and academic in its approach. Is there anything you would’ve done differently or included in telling that story?

I don’t know. I think, of course, Amy did a phenomenal job, and I am so happy with how the book came out because I think it really does have something for everyone, whether or not you’re just starting to learn about transitioning and you’re looking for something new. But there was so much that had to be cut out in the final editing process and, unfortunately, a lot of what did get cut out was original writing from Jonas’ perspective. I don’t know if it was something I would’ve done differently, I think it is more of a shame that it couldn’t make it into the final cut. It was just so long before it was cut. So, I do hope at some point people do get to see that because it is really, really beautiful.

In “Becoming Nicole,” a therapist told your parents that you weren’t transgender because you were peeing standing up. What are some other examples you’ve encountered of misinformation about what transgender is?

Where do I even begin? So many people think that it is one of those things that you can kind of slap a label on and say, “This is what this is,” and with something as expansive as gender it is really impossible to paint it as very black and white. So many people have tried to say “Oh, all trans people look like this. This is how you spot a trans person.” And that’s 1) offensive, and 2) not true or realistic.

I think a lot of that has to do with how historically we are represented in the media: men in dresses and this and that. It is so much more expansive than that. No one group of people looks a certain way, and it is dangerous to try to categorize people like that. So, I think besides the peeing standing up, which is ridiculous, what is equally ridiculous is the idea that some people think that they can spot a trans person, and that’s sort of the whole basis of their argument.

You know how sometimes you read certain blogs or you read certain Twitter accounts just to make yourself mad? I stumbled across one, it was a really popular TERF account — which stands for trans-exclusionary radical feminists, which is pretty much feminists who believe trans women aren’t women, and they use recycled rhetoric from the ’70s saying that trans women are just men trying to invade women’s spaces and stupid shit like that. It was this person going on and on about, like, “Oh, none of you pass. None of you look like women. Yada yada yada.” And I was like, 1) no room to talk because her haircut was atrocious, and 2) come say it to my face. It really made me mad. It is atrocious that people think they can spot something like that. It is ridiculous.

It is kind of like the back-handed compliment that I receive a lot, that is “Oh, you don’t look trans,” or “Oh, never really would’ve guessed.” A lot of the time, I try not to jump on people for that because I know it is coming from a place where they’re trying to give me a compliment, but what does trans look like? What did you think I was going to look like?

And, of course, everyone thinks that we are supposed to look like men in dresses, which — even if we did — is rude as hell to say something like that because, not only is that stupid, but it is also reinforcing negative beauty standards among women, not just trans women, but women. Because you hear about the bathroom bills and they are like, “Oh, we are going to enforce no trans people in bathrooms.” Well, how are you going to enforce that? And then you get cases of cis women getting kicked out of the bathrooms because they look more masculine than others. Even for cisgender women that is not a black and white line. People look different, and it is totally unfair and unreasonable to say just because someone has harder features than somebody else that this is what is going on in your pants. That feels like a wild, crazy assumption to me.

So, obviously your father always loved you, but he struggled with your identity. Was there a specific moment when you finally felt truly seen by him?

I know a lot of moments where he really started having light bulb moments. I think for me, one of the first moments where I felt like I started being seen was when I started wearing girl’s clothes to school. My transition started going there slowly, but between second and third grade I had gone from wearing longer hair to wearing girl’s clothes all the time. I don’t know if it was even just my father, but by everyone, but that is when I started feeling like I was being seen. Then in fifth grade was when I had fully transitioned. I was allowed to pierce my ears and I was allowed to wear skirts and dresses. That really felt like I am seen. And then, of course, when my father finally started fighting for me. Because I knew, at that point, he still didn’t fully understand, but when he started defending me and defending my transition and my using the girl’s bathroom, I felt like I had him on my side.

I love last season of “Supergirl.” One of my favorite moments was when Nia Nal/Dreamer publicly announced herself as both an alien and a transgender woman because it put a positive face on a group who were being demonized in the show. How important do you think it is to give a face to marginalized people?

It is incredibly important. The best way to fight against marginalization and the most effective way that we fight back against people who are trying to erase us is with visibility. When you have an administration who, for incidents in a crazy hypothetical, removed me from the 2020 census, then the best way to combat that is to be more visible than ever. By saying, OK, you’re trying to make people think that we are not valid, you’re trying to make people think we don’t exist and that we are not solid and valid in our identities and our existence. Well, then we are going to show you that we are. We are going to show you: no, you cannot ignore us because we are here and it doesn’t really matter what you believe. It doesn’t really matter if you say, “Well, I don’t really believe in transgender.” Well, it isn’t really something for you to believe in because whether you like it or not, we are here. We exist and that’s not a matter of opinion. You do not get to choose whether or not my identity is valid because I am not doing it for you and we are not going to let you erase that. So, I think visibility is the number one method of defense against erasure.

Based on the trailer, the new season of “Supergirl” partially deals with the betrayal and anger Lena Luthor feels toward Carol Danvers hiding her identity of Supergirl from her. This seems like an apt metaphor for the similar sense of betrayal, hurt and confusion some people feel when a loved one comes out as trans or gay. Do you think that is intentional?

I don’t know if it was intentional. I think because there are so many different layers with Carol and Lena’s relationship, and especially with the Kryptonian-Luthor relationship. I think it is hard to boil it down to just that, because I get why Lena is upset and I get why those feelings are floating around, but personally, I’m kind of like nobody owes any facet of their identity to anybody but themselves. If they did not feel that they wanted to share a part of their identity with you, you don’t get to be mad about that. That is something that belongs entirely to them and if they did not choose, for whatever reason to disclose that part of themselves, that’s not because you necessarily did anything wrong, that’s because they had a choice and that’s not necessarily on them either. But, like I said, it is different between being trans and being a superhero. It is hard because, at the same time, it is like, “Oh, you were treating me like Lex, and I’m not Lex. You can trust me.” So, there’s a whole bunch of other stuff floating around, but I don’t know if it was a 100 percent intentional, but there are definitely connections.

That’s the great thing about sci-fi is that it can always be used as a metaphor for exploring social issues.

Absolutely.

How will Nia Nal be challenged in the new season?

The theme of this season is communication, and so something Nia is struggling with the first chunk of the season is communicating with how she feels with Brainiac because they’ve been dating and they have been having communication issues. Neither of them are the best at relationships, and so this is kind of a new area for her and she’s trying to work out, “How do I express how I feel without hurting you?” And that’s something she struggles with a lot. It is being open and honest with how she’s feeling and trying not to bottle up what she is feeling for the sake of other people.

What I also really love about Nia Nal is when she puts herself out there — kind of going off the whole thing of passing — she does pass as both a human and a woman, and so she doesn’t need to put herself out there, but by doing so she empowers others. Do you also try to lead by example in your own life?

Absolutely, I recognize 100 percent as Nia and as Nicole that I have an insane amount of privilege. I’m white and, like you said, I pass and I’m on TV. And I mention that I am on TV because when we look at issues like HB2 and we look at bathroom bills and stuff like that, that is not necessarily going to affect me as someone who passes and as someone who is in Vancouver. I’m working in Vancouver, HB2 will not affect me. I am not there. But I recognize that there are issues that are affecting members of my community who don’t have the same significant platform that I do. And so it is my responsibility as a member of that community, as someone with that platform, to lift them up and to start to shine a light on issues that are affecting members of my community, even if I personally will not feel the impact of that harmful legislation.

It is important and that’s what we talk about in feminist circles. We are always talking about how can people with privilege use that privilege to lift others up, to better the situation of others who don’t have those some privileges. We ask that of men, we ask that of white people, we ask that of abled-body people, of trans women who pass. We ask that people use their privilege responsibly. And so that is what I try to do and I hope that I am succeeding. I just try to use my platform and use my voice to talk about issues that I feel matter.

Going back to “Becoming Nicole,” the book discusses “The Little Mermaid” as a metaphor for being transgender because Ariel doesn’t feel she belongs in the ocean and everyone tells her you have to be with your own people blah, blah, blah. Ariel was one of your favorite characters growing up, do you feel even at a young age you were drawn to this character because your struggle paralleled her struggle?

I guess subconsciously, yes, but on a surface level, I liked mermaids. I don’t know why I liked it so much and that’s why I say subconsciously I was drawn to it. I remember loving that more than anything else. I loved everything about her. I remember I was like, “That is what I want for myself.” I was like, “She is so beautiful, and she is so graceful,” which is not a trait that I’ve been able to replicate in my own life. I remember being so drawn to her, and I was like “Mom, Dad, that is what we are going for. That is the look.” Between her and, I’ve said it before, Storm from the X-Men. I remember watching “X-Men: The Animated Series” as as kid and she had that hair and the cape and was like “Oh, that’s drama. I love it.”

And now you have your own cape.

Well, metaphorically speaking. I don’t have a superhero cape. I feel a little cheated.

Well, maybe you can get one.

No, I have the best supersuit. It is shiny and holographic. It is awesome.

One part I really liked in “Becoming Nicole,” I think it was before you were going to enter fifth grade, you were asked what kind of story you’d tell and you said it would be this mystery/comedy/fantasy with a sassy character and a sidekick who was even sassier. If you were to write that story now what do you think it would look like?

Oh my God. Well, it would definitely have the sassy character and the sassier sidekick, because I remember growing up I was always the biggest fan of the sassy comic relief characters, which is why I tried to play that role in my own regular life, which took some getting used to. I remember in middle school people didn’t exactly get the whole me trying-to-be-funny and I think it just came across as annoying. If I was going to write that story now, I think it would absolutely be about murder that would be the mystery. The comedy that would manifest itself in probably macabre, offbeat humor about murder. And then the fantasy ... they are all vampires. I’m just describing “Bit.”

I haven’t been able to find anyway to watch “Bit” (which stars Maines as a transgender teen who falls in with four queer feminist vampires, who try to rid Los Angeles' streets of predatory men), but I am very interested in that film. What was it like making that?

It was so amazing and I hope you’ll be able to watch soon. Right now, it is making its festival rounds, and hoping someone will choose to distribute it, and we’re like, “Pay us, please!” It was so incredible. Everyone on set was amazing and our writer/director Brad Michael Elmore is the coolest dude on the planet. I was talking about using our privilege to tell stories that matter and to raise up minority voices, and that’s absolutely what he did in this situation. I know a lot of the festivals we have gone to have been feminist festivals and gay festivals, and we’ve had a significant amount of people kind of be like, “Oh, you were written by a straight cis white guy,” and we’re like,“Yeah, and he’s doing exactly what we want him to be doing, which is using his privilege to create this super awesome movie featuring queer and interracial talent, this intersectional group of feminists.” We had a female DP which how awesome is that? We had this super awesome kaleidoscope of different identities in this film and I feel like some folks are very quick to write it off because it was written by a straight cis white guy. 1) I don’t feel that is fair to Brad, and 2) I don’t think that is fair to the movie. The movie is so cool and the movie deals with such cool issues and it approaches them all in such a fucking awesome way. To write it off because of who our director is feels very shortsighted.

And obviously you wouldn’t say or do anything that felt disingenuous to your own experience.

Yes, absolutely. I was like, “Ye of little faith.”

When you were 13 years old you went to the Maine statehouse and spoke to dozens of representatives to convince them to vote against a bill that would make it legal to discriminate against trans people. Do you have any interest in getting into politics either working for a campaign or as a candidate yourself?

I think I would be willing to support someone else’s campaign. Politics are not for me. I do not have the stomach for that. I do not have the patience for that. I know where my lane is and it is absolutely not going for an elected position. I am more the person who shows up when the politicians are not doing what they are supposed to be doing. That’s when I get involved.

The big thing I took away from “Becoming Nicole” was that prejudice and hate is something that is taught, because the boy who started harassing you the most was told by his grandfather that you were wrong and that he should go after you. And so I guess the question is, what do you do to undo these wrongheaded lessons that are passed down by parents or grandparents?

I think the first step comes from within. You cannot make anybody do anything. You cannot make somebody unlearn hate and prejudice. That journey has to start with themselves. With my father — and, of course, he was never outwardly hateful or anything, I always knew he loved me — but his journey to acceptance started with him deciding to pick up Jennifer Finney Boylan’s book (about being a transgender woman) and read it. He had to ask himself what he was so afraid of if his son was his daughter. He had to ask himself what about that terrified him so much. And that’s what every person has to do.

Every person has to be aware of their own prejudices and their own biases. We all have them. We have to be aware of them. We have to actively work to undo them because it is something we are taught, not even just by our parents or caretakers, but through television and society. We are pumped full of biases and prejudices that we are not even aware of, and so we have to pay extra care and extra caution to do undo those. And when we catch ourselves, we have to recognize, “No, that’s not right” and go from there.

It has to be a conscious choice, and so that is hard. It is a hard thing to do. It is a really gross feeling to try to unlearn stuff like that, and so a lot of people won’t do that because a lot of people are more comfortable being like, “No, I don’t get it, that’s gross, I don’t like it and I’m going to hate it.” That is much easier and much more comfortable then asking yourself what you are afraid of. As socially responsible participants in the community, we have a responsibility to ask that question anyway. All of us have to ask that question and not just about trans issues, because if we don’t do that, if we are looking for what is easy and what is comfortable at the expense of other people, then stay inside.

And I feel like the biggest thing is if you’re afraid of a gay person or trans person or black, Hispanic, whatever social issue, if you actually talk to these people that you are afraid of, that you’d see that they are just human beings.

That is the number one thing. It is so much easier to marginalize a group of people when you are not putting names to faces, when we are not putting faces to groups, when you are dehumanizing them. It is so much easier to sweep their plights under the rug and be like, “Oh, they don’t matter,” because you are not talking to them, you’re not seeing them as people. That’s why I always say, “Come say it to my face.” It is so much harder to be an asshole to someone’s face because you have to look them in the eye and tell them their rights don’t matter.

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comradesummers · 5 years

Note

I’m curious about 1. Top 5 TV shows, 11. Top 5 female characters and 20. Top 5 overrated characters

Hi, thanks for asking!

Top 5 TV shows

(This list is based on my current mood, and will probably change tomorrow)

1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Yeah, I know, what a shocker. It may be flawed, and old, and a little corny, but well, there’s a reason I dedicated a blog to it. No show means more to me than Buffy, and no show probably ever will.

2. Legends of Tomorrow

You know what, more shows need to be as batshit fucking crazy as Legends of Tomorrow is. More shows need to save the day via our main characters joining together to create a giant stuffed animal that hugs the bad guy to death. More shows need to give us killer unicorns, and sentient nipples, and hot girls with weapons who make out with each other.

Fuck the golden age of television, fuck everyone taking everything so goddamn seriously. Give me a pure, unadulterated, chaotic, drug-addled (I can only assume), queer, joyful, wonderful mess, and I will love and treasure it forever.

3. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Look, it’s just really good. I don’t really have much to say, beyond just like, it’s great, and it has great songs, and great comedy, and great drama, and great acting, and great writing, etc. It’s not perfect, because nothing is, but I do genuinely believe that it’s one of the best uses of the medium of television that I’ve ever seen. If any show could make me buy into the golden age of television bullshit, it’s probably Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

4. One Day at a Time

So there’s this interview with Gloria Calderón Kellett and Mike Royce, where they talk about how the basic structure of any episode of the show, is that there is a topic at hand, whatever it may be, and then we hear the conservative argument (Lydia), the progressive argument (Elena), and the mediator (Penelope). And like, yeah, that’s it, that’s the show. In that sense it’s super reminiscent of Norman Lear’s work in the 70′s - All in the Family was also basically just one big argument.

So, in addition to everything that’s obviously incredible about the show (funny, well written, loving, the representation, Rita Moreno’s very existence being a gift to us all, etc.), there’s just something so brilliant about the simplicity of the basic premise, the argument about traditionalism vs. progress, which is made far more poignant and interesting because the characters are Cuban American. Lydia isn’t Archie Bunker, because her desire to preserve her traditions isn’t rooted in bigotry, it’s rooted in the culture that she was forced to leave behind. And Elena, as admirable as her quest for progress is, often fails to see the importance of preserving that culture (illustrated most obviously by the fact that she doesn’t speak Spanish). And although Penelope represents the middle ground, she isn’t always right either.

Everyone has a point, and that’s what makes each new conflict so fun to watch.

5. Queer Eye

Queer Eye makes me happy. It really is as simple as that. It has perfected the formula of bringing joy to the world, and I think that is a truly impressive feat.

Top 5 female characters

(I’m going to keep it to one character per show, because otherwise I'd be here all day. Also, again, this list is based on my current mood. It could change tomorrow.)

1. Buffy Summers

Again, what a shocker. I don’t think I need to explain this one.

2. Elena Alvarez

I really had to struggle to choose between Lydia, Penelope, and Elena, because I love all three of them so so much. But I went with Elena because she’s the person I aspire to be. She’s awkward, and weird, and struggles socially, and she’s not always right, but she also fights for what she believes in, actively. It’s not just about arguing with her grandmother, it’s about taking action, even if that action can be a little awkward and Elena-y. And well, seeing a character like her, who isn’t just the regular armchair activist young person that’s so common on TV, is really important and inspiring and I love her.

3. Rebecca Bunch

She’s just kind of one of those characters that was iconic right out of the gate. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a character like Rebecca before, ever. And I haven’t seen any since honestly. It’s small stuff, like the fact that a character with Rachel Bloom’s body type is allowed to be aggressively sexual without being seen as disgusting or villainous for it. And it’s big stuff, like the portrayal of her mental illness, the fact that she was never written to be “likable” or whatever the fuck that means, but we loved her so much anyway. The show may have occasionally faltered, but Rebecca Bunch was always its center and its greatest achievement, and I will forever be grateful for her.

4. Regina Mills and Santana Lopez

Yeah, I’m cheating, this one’s a tie. My justification for the cheating is that these two are in the same category for me, in terms of characters that I love, but I’m kind of ashamed of choosing because of their garbage source material. So yeah, it would probably be more accurate to say that I’ve chosen the fanfiction versions of both of these characters, but in my defense, the fics are a lot better than the shows they’re based on. Also, kudos to both of these actresses for somehow making these characters interesting in spite of the writing they had to work with.

5. Petra Solano

Look, if it wasn’t already evident that I like type A control freaks, bonus points if they’re super fucked up, and extra bonus points if they’re into women, well it should be clear now. Petra in particular manages to walk the fine line of being easily the most tragic character of the show, and also easily one of the funniest, while also having one of the best redemption arcs I’ve ever seen. Idk how Grobglas and the writers managed to do all that, but it was really incredible to behold.

(I would like to extend my sincerest apologies to Veronica Mars, Amy Santiago, Rosa Diaz, Sara Lance, Zari Tomaz, and a bunch of other characters who have probably slipped my mind, all of whom would have made the list if I was in a different mood, or was currently obsessed with them. I love them all.)

Top 5 overrated characters

1. Wesley Wyndam Pryce

So, full disclosure, I’m just really not a fan of broody men who’s character development involves them being violent towards women and then brooding about it.

Wesley in particular, I get why people like him, he is a very well written and well acted example of this kind of character. But I’ve seen multiple people suggest that he’s the best character in the Buffyverse, and that drives me a little crazy. Like, no. Wesley becoming a broody asshole doesn’t make him a better character than Buffy or Willow or Cordelia or Gunn or Faith or anyone else, and I am so sick of that kind of broody man story being prioritized over every other kind of story.

2. Logan Echolls (please don’t kill me)

I actually like Logan, I think he’s a good character. I just wish the show, and subsequently the fandom, hadn’t prioritized his character over pretty much everyone else not named Veronica. But I do like him, to be clear.

3. Illyria (I’m so sorry)

Like really, I wish I liked her more. I guess it’s just because I was pissed they had to kill off Fred for Illyria, and she spent all of her time with Wesley, which didn’t do much to endear me to her. I guess maybe if she’d spent time with anyone else, I’d get why people like her, beyond Amy Acker being really good at her job. But she didn’t, and I just don’t get it.

I couldn’t think of a fourth and fifth one. As it turns out, I’m not a fan of the concept of something being overrated. All of the characters I named just aren’t necessarily my cup of tea, but that doesn’t mean I think they’re bad, they’re just not for me. And I don’t really like saying that people are wrong to like things. Plus, I just really couldn’t come up with anybody, and I really tried, I’m sorry.

#btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #legends of tomorrow #crazy ex girlfriend #one day at a time #odaat #queer eye #buffy summers #elena alvarez #rebecca bunch #regina mills #santana lopez #petra solano

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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709

Just another names survey, because there’s nothing like looking back at everyone you’ve ever met at 11:28 AM.

Do you know anyone with these names?

Sara: I know a Sarah from my college. She’s kind of a friend-ish? Like I’d say hi to her if we pass each other in the building but I wouldn’t get lunch with her or send her a meme. She also goes by Chloe, her second name. Gabby: Pretty common name. My girlfriend is a Gabie and I had another high school batchmate named Gaby; I also had an old friend from the wrestling fandom whose name is Gabbie. The last Gabbie also goes to UP but I’ve never met nor seen her in the four years I’ve studied there, which is still such a weird thing to me. Rochelle: My Language teacher (it’s basically a subject that taught us English grammar) in the 5th grade was a Rochelle and she was a massive bitch. She is the manifestation of small and cute but terrible, and she didn’t like me and made sure I knew it. I’m glad she aged terribly in the last few years. Alexis: Apparently my Uncle Alex’s full name is Alexis, but I didn’t know until today when I read the obituary for my grand aunt who had just passed. Aurora Summer: I have an orgmate/coursemate named Summer. She’s nice but I think she’s a little lazy and doesn’t make a good co-worker in projects.

Peyton Bianca: Also a common name, but it’s a pretty middle-class/white girl name too. I knew lots of Biancas from high school and all of them are studying in the more expensive university just beside ours. Jordan Eliana: I don’t know Elianas but close enough - we have a current applicant for our org named Liana. Liberty: Eh, noun names like this one aren’t too common at all where I live. Meadow Cheyenne Acacia: Nah. The only Acacia I know is the name of one of the many dorms inside campus. Laurice and Jo used to live in Acacia but their applications got denied this year. Erica: I used to ride the bus with an Ericka but it’s all very hazy - I was only in Grade 1 and I think she moved schools not long after, so I don’t have a lot of memories of her. I had a high school batchmate named Erycka but I never liked her either - just seemed too uppity and had a bit of an attitude for no reason. She used to be Gabie’s friend so when the two would hang out I would fuck off so that I didn’t have to deal with her loud ass. Chantell Shawna: Gabie has a coursemate(?) named Shauna. I don’t know her and I dunno if I’ve met her. I think I have, but I never talked to her. Suzy Maria: I can confidently tell you a good 70% of Filipino girls/women have Maria as their first names. No one uses it as their main name though; it’s usually just given to complement second names. Gretchen: Eh, I know a couple of popular personalities with this name but no one personal. Isabella: I have a second cousin named Isabella but I’ve never gotten to form a relationship with her because she was born and is being raised in Australia. Isabela is also the name of one of Gab’s sisters.

Skye: Someone I went to high school with has a kid nicknamed Sky... Skylar: ...because the kid’s whole name is Skyller. Cecily Paige: Nope but this did remind of the WWE wrestler Paige. Autumn Arielle: I went to grade school with an Aerielle. We lost touch for a bit when she had to drop out for a bit and ultimately moved schools, but we’ve since reconnected ever since she got into UP. She’s taking up journalism too. Brianna: Callo’s third name is Brianna. Her chaotic behavior on social media had pissed me off in the last few months so I cut ties with her. A little sad considering how incredibly close we were in high school, but I just have to remember how annoying she’s been and I feel ok again. Cassandra: I used to go to school with a Cassandra but she moved when we started the 1st grade, so I never actually got to talk or be close to her. Like Aerielle, it turns out she’s also in UP now and she’s in the football varsity too. I see her sometimes but given that we’ve never talked, the most we’ve given each other is a look of recognition of being in preschool together lmao. We also had a batchmate named Kassandra but she lives in Singapore now. Small, sweet, and just the nicest girl. Cassidy Sierra: Aya’s second name is Ciara, which is pretty close. Some of us say it similarly to Sierra, and others pronounce it as Sha-ra, so it varies. Cheri Shariah Savannah Greta: My sister had a batchmate named Greta and I remember her mostly because she’s the daughter of my high school’s old theatre manager/director/I never actually found out what his position was called, but basically he used to produce all of our school productions. Leandra Lauren: I went to grade school and high school with a Lauren. We were close as kids but she changed crowds in like the 6th or 7th grade and we lost touch from there. Austin Samantha: Lots of Samanthas were I’m from; it’s a fairly common middle-class name. I used to be best friends with a Sam; I had a high school batchmate named Sam; I knew someone a high school batch higher with the name; and I also currently go to college with a Sam. OH and I also have a cousin with this name hahahaha. She lives in New York but she visited the Philippines a couple of years ago and I was able to spend time with her then. Shayne: My sister’s kindergarten teacher was a Shane and all I remember is that she was really nice and motherly to my sister who did nothing in school but cry because she had bad separation anxiety. Seth: I have a cousin named Seth, but he lives in New York and I’ve never seen him. He’s the younger brother of my cousin Sam. Scott Ryan: I have a uncle with this name but I haven’t seen him since I was a little girl. He used to live with one of my aunts but I think he has since moved back to our home province. Maverick: One of our org’s alumni is a Maverick but he goes by Mawel. I’ve always thought he was intimidating so I’ve never approached nor talked to him. Dylan: My sister had a batchmated named Dylan which I think is a badass name for a girl. Anna: I had several former teachers named Anna. Two of them taught AP (social studies) and another taught us algebra. Katie: I will sometimes call Kate this, but I dunno anyone who legit goes by Katie. Jessica: Went to high school with one. Was always too boisterous and a little fake for me. She also loved to surround herself with boys as early as when we were 13 and while that’s never wrong I just never vibed with people like her. Lydia: I don’t know anyone with this name but this did remind me of the Breaking Bad character who was always a little bit annoying. Ellery Dakota Epiphany Galaxy Ariana: I think Yumi’s sister is an Ariana, but I’ll never know for sure because she always just calls her Ari. Gabriella: My girlfriend is a Gabriela. Rachel: My math teacher in Grade 1 was Ms. Rachel. I don’t have an opinion on her but I remember one time when our class was too noisy, she got way too pissed off and she spent the entire 45-minute period doing sign language to us to be petty. I never did like her after that. Amy: I go to college with an Aimee but I never get to see her on campus because her whole person screams Ateneo. I have no idea why she just didn’t enroll over there instead looooool, her boyfriend and all her friends are there and she’s always hanging out at their campus it’s so weird. My late grand-aunt Amet was also called Amy by some of her peers. Marissa: This is the second name of Kayla, someone I go to college with. Her schedule is weird though because she went on exchange in Canada two sems ago and she’s supposed to have been back a long time now, but I haven’t seen her at all. I have no idea if she’s still even in Canada or is back in the PH now and is just keeping her whereabouts on the down low. Taylor Rebecca: One of Rita’s older sister is named Rebecca but she goes by Becca. She graduated from my college last year, so I’m pretty familiar with her. We’re not close but I’ve encountered her a few times before and she’s reeeeally pretty and nice. The few times we’ve crashed at Rita’s place she had always greeted us out of familiarity from seeing us in our college building. Ashley: I had an STS class with an Ashley but I didn’t get to know her all that much. Allison: I used to have an instructor named Allison but I think she only taught so she could have extra cash because she’s also taking up her Master’s in the same college, so she wasn’t that good of a teacher. I do remember finding her pretty though. Oh and she also got into a really bad car accident in the middle of the sem and we didn’t have classes for like a month, so there’s that. Madison Abigail: My mom is named Abigail. Zachary: I have a cousin named Zachary but he mainly goes by James. Gabriel: Yep I have an orgmate with this name but we call him Gab. He’s...a bit of a character. Either you can tolerate his presence or you find him plain annoying. Used to play his music LOUD in Skywalk which annoyed the hell out of everybody. I’m still not sure what to feel about him so I just give him a nod when we see each other. Mitchell Joe: I have a friend named Jo but she’s a girl. I don’t think I know any guys named Joe. Corey Shawn: I know a friend of some of my friends is named Sean but we’ve never encountered each other. He’s into broadcasting and has done hosting gigs and I think he’s a junior jock in one of the local radio stations as well. Carly: Carley was my old internet best friend. We first found each other because we were huuuuge Stephanie McMahon fans on Tumblr a decade ago and we’d do edits and read fanfic and reblog photos of her, so a really close friendship blossomed from there. She had a rough life those days with a bit of an abusive mom (who has since passed) and I’d video chat her in the afternoon when I’d come home from school (by then she was preparing for school, since she’s from the US). After a while her schedule turned weird and she’d be offline for months at a time only to resurface for like two days then disappear again. She did this for like 3-4 years until I got tired and just stopped talking to her. She’s still my Facebook friend and she shares a lot of memes, but that’s all to it now. Carmen: I went to school with someone who had a very lengthy name and one of her names was Carmen, but she goes by Pam because she also has a Pamela in her name. She does streetdance and I was classmates with her once but we never really got to talk. Melissa: Eh, sure. Someone from high school. Lazy ass. Stephanie: The only IRL Stephanie I know is this girl who’s supposed to be enrolled this sem and is supposedly a classmate of mine in several classes, but never showed up from January through March. And now the lockdown hasn’t helped her case either. Shannon Selena: I have a cousin with this name but it’s spelled Selina. Also she goes by Bia because her other name is Bianca. Christine: Fairly common name. I know lots of Christines/Christina but I’m only close with one, who’s my orgmate and is the VP for Membership for the org, aka she’s the one in charge of recruiting new applicants for the two sems that she’s in charge of the committee. Paula: I went to grade school and high school with a Paula. She was SO painfully shy and quiet but friendly. She studies in Ateneo now but I wouldn’t know if she’s gotten extroverted in the last few years. Harmony Serenity Tessa: My prof in PR was Ma’am Tessa. One of the nicest, softest people ever who’s always down for anything. I think she’s in her 70s now but she’s definitely still kicking and doesn’t miss a single basketball and volleyball game during UAAP season. Claire: One of my very first guidance counselors was Ms. Claire. I remember her being motherly and she was also the counselor that intervened when I had a fight with one student in third grade that was big enough for both of us to land in the guidance office heh. Ruby Rhiannon Harper Riley Brandon Brayden Mystery Noelle: I vaguely remember going to school with a Noelle in kinder but she only stuck around the school for 1-2 years so I have no memories of her whatsoever. Destiny Darcy Dianne: Went to kinder, grade school, and high school with a Dianne. She was quiet for most of the years but she had a really blooming glow-up in high school, where she was part of the popular clique. Super smart and she’s now in business school in UP; also a terrific dancer. Felicity Grace: I have a grand-aunt named Grace. She’s very sweet and funny and is doting towards her grandkids and her grandnieces and nephews, but she and her sisters have notorious track records in the family for having a bit of an attitude and/or for making scenes, and she’s the pettiest of them all given that she’s the youngest. Despite that, all in all I have a soft spot for her. Hannah: One of my best friends in UP. We first met when she and Macy (my old high school friend) transferred to UPD from UPLB, but in the end Hannah and I ended up becoming closer friends because Macy has since struggled to adjust to the transfer and has pushed people away in the process, including me. ANYWAY I’m glad I was introduced to Hannah because she’s one of the most hilarious people I’ve ever met. She’s also insanely talented and a hell of a performer. I’ll miss her the most when I have to graduate. Kayla: That girl who went on an exchange program in Canada that I mentioned earlier mainly goes by Kayla. I remember her notably because she’s the first EVER person I talked to when I got officially enrolled in UP - we were seated together in the welcoming assembly for freshies back in 2016. It was nothing more than a random encounter though and we didn’t end up becoming close after that. Liam: My cousin Seth is also named Liam. Morgan Natasha: I went to school with a Natasha but we all called her Tashie. She had a bit of a larger build than the rest of us which made her look domineering, but she’s really nice and is a big softie if you get to know her. She posts workout videos from time to time and has since lost a lot of weight in college. Nathan Olivia: My future daughter loljk Bailey Emily Amanda: I have an orgmate named Amanda. She’s mostly shy and reserved and I haven’t really gotten the chance to know her since she’s quiet and always has to head home earlier than the rest of us. Addison Adrienne: An old classmate from high school has had her third kid that she named Adrienne. Molly Siona: I don’t know Sionas but I do know a Fiona, heh. Emerald Chelsea: Yeah Chelsea was one of my close friends in high school. We don’t talk these days but we’ll sometimes react on each other’s posts on Twitter or Facebook which is enough for me. We used to have parties and drinking sessions at her family’s gazebo behind her house, so even though we’ve mostly lost touch I’ll always have fond memories of her. Naomi Bethany: A very very very VERY old mutual on Tumblr had this name but we mostly called her Beth. She lives in the UK and I remember her being a CM Punk fan. Had unique eyebrows but was super pretty and she used to post webcam selfies all the time. Brittany Hope: Someone I went to kindergarten with had Hope as a middle name but she went by Maezelle. Super blurry memories of her as we were never close, but I remember her specifically for her teeth lmao - she had some cavities as a kid so she had a bunch of silver teeth. OK just checked Facebook and it turns out she lives in California now, as do most of my batchmates who migrated to the States as kids. Joy: I know several people who have Joy as a middle name but don’t go by it, like high school batchmates named AJ and CJ. Jade Aaron: Old friend from high school. Like Chelsea, he was a part of our friend group. He studies in UP too and we’ll say hi and hug when we see each other, but we aren’t personally close. Andrew: Coursemate, classmate, orgmate, groupmate in several projects, and now my thesis partner. At first I found him annoying and a bit too invasive and extroverted for my liking, but I gave him a chance and he’s turned out to be a really amazing, loyal, supportive friend. He’s an extremely talented writer, singer, performer, host, and radio jock. Wimpy drinker though haaaah. James: I have a cousin named James. He lives with his family in Vietnam and since his dad is from New Zealand, he’s picked up a bit of an accent as well. Jonathon Zachariah Malachi Victoria: I had a classmate in a polsci elective with this name, but I called her Jillian during that time cos it’s her first name. Judging from social media posts, she mainly goes by JV. Solomon Sorin Celia Heather: Went to high school with a Heather and is actually attending the same course as Jillian ^ in UP now. We were quite close in high school and she used to confide in me about relationship issues, back when she was seeing someone who had plans of transitioning. Heather’s parents were very strict against the idea and went to great lengths to forbid her from seeing him, so yeah that’s what she would rant to me late into the night about. We also bonded over One Direction and Joe Sugg for a time, and those days were a blast. She also got me to be in a Twitter DM thread with Caspar Lee for my 16th birthday which was a HELLUVA SURPRISE lmao. I’ve never forgotten those days with her and I’ll always remember her fondly even though we never talk anymore. Ivy: My prof in feature writing was named Ivy. She’s... a meh instructor at best. She loved telling HER stories and HER experiences and narrating HER interviews with famous people, politicians, celebrities, athletes, etc. but she left a few lessons behind which is really what we all enrolled for lmao, so I didn’t really learn anything from her class. Jasmine: Someone I went to high school with. She was into K-Pop, J-Pop, and anime back then and I think she still is. We were always good friends towards each other even though we were never close close. She’s taking up linguistics in UP now. Jasper Kaylee Anica: An instructor from the broadcast communication department in my college. Nothing much to say about her except she weirdly tags along with one of the other professors ALL THE TIME TO EVERYWHERE, including the washroom. I’m definitely not judging but yeah, it’s what I notice first when I think of her.

#survey #surveys

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recentanimenews · 4 years

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Why Eggman Is the Only Good Thing to Come out of Sonic X

There’s a saying that all great heroes need a great villain, and in the case of Sonic the Hedgehog, that really couldn’t be any more true; after all, where would SEGA’s iconic mascot be without his equally great villain, Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik? While everyone is hopping on the Jim Carey train thanks to the new live-action movie, we figured now was a great time to remind everyone of the one true shining Chaos Emerald of the Sonic X anime: Eggman himself! That’s right, the rotund and robust professor of pain is, really, the only thing Sonic X did that’s worth remembering. So, for this momentous movie event, we figured there’s no better way to honor the legacy of Eggman than to talk about why he single handedly made Sonic X worth watching.

Chances are that if you grew up in the US sometime between the '90s and '10s, you watched a lot of your anime on TV during your childhood. For many anime fans, that meant healthy doses of WB and 4Kids inspired treatments of shows, and Sonic always featured prominently in those Saturday morning blocks somewhere. But the first real Sonic anime to hit American television, Sonic X, took a departure from the Archie comics inspired weirdness of previous Sonic cartoons to present a modern, updated, post-Sonic Adventure 2 vision of Sonic: Sonic X! And boy, was it not very good!

Now, we get it, we aren’t trying to assassinate your childhood or anything; we thought the show was kinda fun too when we were younger. But looking back on it, the weird story of Sonic and company being transported to Earth and living with a generic, no-name character and his weirdo family certainly wasn’t the type of Sonic storylines we expected to be seeing (although the opening song was pretty legendary). Even worse, the show tried to balance the absolutely bloated cast of Sonic Adventure, including appearances by Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Shadow, Rouge, Amy Rose, Cream the Bunny, Big the Cat, and even the Chaotix team for some reason. But the true star that made the show entertaining was the good doctor himself, Eggman! Without Eggman, the show was frankly boring and pretty flat, with storylines like Sonic trying to beat a racecar driver (which we all knew he could do anyway, right?!). No, Sonic X owes all of its greatest moments to Eggman: blowing up the moon and making a new, better moon, awakening Shadow, and even defeating the intergalactic horror of the Metarex were all only possible because of the ingenious skills inside that beautiful brain.

And, yes, Eggman is the villain of a kids show; most of his plans aren’t very complicated or evil, but they propelled the entire plot of the series in most cases; heck, he even draws his own money while pretending to be President instead of doing anything really evil or creative with the idea. But without Eggman’s schemes, most of the first two seasons go absolutely nowhere, and it’s only due to his determination to defeat Sonic and take over the world that Shadow is even discovered in the first place.

But perhaps Eggman’s greatest single accomplishment in Sonic X is the story of how he blew up the moon. Yes, you read that correctly: the sphere in the sky responsible for controlling tidal flow and other things was “accidentally” destroyed by the great doctor; we know, he probably didn’t mean to cause any real harm. After all, he invented a NEW moon to take its place! What a great guy!

The moon saga of Sonic X remains one of the funniest memories of the entire series (and, personally, the main reason I even remember the show at all). It features all of the general ridiculous ideas you might expect in a Saturday morning cartoon, with the cast acting almost entirely out of character, save for Eggman, who of course is working a long con of helping the people of Earth after he LITERALLY BLEW UP THEIR MOON ON PURPOSE by selling “sunshine balls,” and when Sonic catches on that this plan isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, gets the President of “a country” to agree to take martial action against Sonic.

Honestly, rewatching it, the entire sequence feels like it’s borrowing cues from the conclusion of Devilman, with the main cast being harassed and swarmed by angry mobs of random people, lusting for the blood of Sonic, while Eggman simply reclines and bides his time before finally gagging the President and… drawing money with his own face on it. That’s it. That’s his final, real idea for this caper. Assuming that he’ll become the next President once Sonic is dead and the world is at his fingertips, Eggman simply ties up the current President and… doodles fake money, before, of course, Sonic comes and ruins everything by saving the day. Nerd.

Almost every story in Sonic X works in this fashion when Eggman is involved, and the 70+ episode-long series really owes it to him for carrying all of the weight of the show on his back. The Earth-based storylines, like the race car driver and other goofy things, are barely even worth watching, let alone remembering, and it isn’t until Eggman makes some sort of appearance on screen that anyone should even care about the show. Eggman is reverse Poochy: everyone should be asking where Eggman is at all times, but unironically.

In the climactic ending of the third season, Super Sonic and Super Shadow can’t even defeat the Metarex without Eggman’s help, and literally no other character is in any way more useful than the doctor that they’ve all been negging on for the entire series. Shows how grateful they really are! Frankly, this type of villain reversal was always a common, but fun, trope in Saturday morning TV fair, and Sonic X really nailed it by taking advantage of how awesome Eggman really was in order to pull it off effectively.

Honestly, maybe that’s what makes Eggman so great in general as far as a villain and a character is concerned. Although his plans usually amount to being totally ridiculous (seriously, just… going to turn animals into robots? That’s your big plan?), when Sonic series media wants things done or explained, it generally falls to Eggman to do it. Shadow? Eggman. Chaos? Eggman. Chaos Control? Also Eggman. The entire point of Sonic in any game, comic, show or movie has no momentum unless Eggman appears to push things along and get the blue rat to lace up his sneakers.

Even the final episode of Sonic X requires Eggman to intervene in order to send original character and human protagonist, Chris, back to Earth, because no one else is smart enough to get the dimensional machine working again. Without Eggman, Chris would have just been stuck in Sonic’s world as a 12 year old forever, but you didn’t hear Eggman begging to be thanked for all of his hard work! Instead, Eggman simply takes it all in stride, claiming that Chris makes Sonic too strong, and sends him home. What a secret softie!

As Sonic’s movie hits theaters and people start to fondly reminisce on what they loved the most about the franchise, we hope that this little PSA has reminded you of what’s truly important: that Sonic X was a pretty whatever show with one of the best characters of all time: Dr. Eggman! Doctor, we salute you in all that you do!

Are you an Eggman fan? Did Eggman write this? Let us know what you think in the comments!

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Nicole is a frequent wordsmith for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

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pantherlover · 5 years

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Rosemary and Rue Re-Read: Part 11

Here’s part 11! As always: possible spoilers up to Night and Silence!

Chapter 23

We finally get to meet the Luidaeeeeeeeegg I’m so glad to seeeeeee heeeeeeeerrrrr

Toby says that according to rumor, the Luidaeg has been settled in San Francisco for nearly 70 years. I wonder what made her come then.

It’s interesting comparing Evening’s persona with the Luidaeg’s. Evening’s intimidating because she Seems Fae, even while she’s pretending to be mortal. Toby says multiple times that mortals would know that there was ‘just something’ about Evening, and even other fae were intimidated by her.

The Luidaeg, on the other hand, seems entirely normal; she’s not even really Impressive by mortal standards considering that she looks like a 19 year old girl who thinks it’s a good idea to tie her hair up with electric tape. She’s not unusually tall, no abnormally clear skin, she isn’t so beautiful you can’t stand to look at her she’s just completely, 100% ordinary.

And that’s the most terrifying thing about her, because how can someone who’s so old, so powerful, so wild just hide that???

... water and fire, blood and burning. She and her sisters were goddesses then, she and Black Annis and Gentle Annie, tending the younger children, roaming the bogs and rivers of the world. Maeve’s Firstborn, pulled from her in blood and screaming while Oberon walked far, far away. But they died one by one at the hands of men and fae, by iron and ash and rowan and fire they died, until the Luidaeg was the last, running, always running, called monster and demon because her blood was so much older and wilder than their own... ... did we lose it all for the roses? Oh, Mother, you fool...

So, this seems... significant. This is what Toby reads from the Luidaeg’s blood, and I think it’s the closest we’ve gotten to actual backstory about the Luidaeg. Most of this past is hinted at in the rest of the books, but I don’t think her sisters’ names are mentioned again. I kind of wonder what races of fae they were Firstborns of.

Also, this part demonstrates why this series is awesome for re-reads, because if I re-read this after The Winter Long came out, I would’ve assumed that the ‘did we lose it all for the roses’ line was about Eira. Now? I think it’s actually about Janet.

And just like that, Toby has switched her categorization of the Luidaeg from ‘horrible monster’ to ‘friend? Scary friend?’

Is it just me, or does Oberon seem like he was kind of a jackass. Like, he’s considered the final authority for all of Faerie, but he doesn’t seem like he actually pays attention to what anyone was doing, he didn’t consider changelings worthy of protection, and he seemed to get led around by his dick a lot for a king who was, like, actually good at his job. Plus, he was a horrible husband to Maeve and a terrible father to Maeve’s children. No wonder the Luidaeg’s so angry with him.

Also he seems kind of dumb? Like, if you’re going to force Maeve’s oldest Firstborn under a geas to protect all of the descendants of your second wife, why did you not force Titania’s oldest Firstborn under a geas for the same reason? And either Eira is way better at finding loopholes than the Luidaeg is, or Eira’s geas to stop her from harming the people of Amandine’s line was very poorly worded.

“I was wondering how long it would take for a member of [Amandine’s] line to bother tracking me down - although I’ll admit your blood’s a bit thinner than I expected. Tried to fix matters on her own, did she? She always was brainless. Runs in the family.”

Okay, a couple parts of this confuse me. By this point, August has tracked the Luidaeg down and demanded help on a quest. And the Luidaeg already knows how thin Toby’s blood is, because she’s the one who stopped Amandine from turning Toby completely human. A possible answer to this is ‘Seanan McGuire hadn’t come up with August or decided the Luidaeg was the one who intervened yet’ but a) that’s a boring answer, and b) I’m not 100% sure that tracks, so I want to see if I can come up with an in-canon reason. The Luidaeg isn’t supposed to be able to lie, but maybe that’s only if she’s asked direct questions? And that’s how she can indirectly lie about August? I wasn’t really sure why the Luidaeg brought up Toby’s blood in the first place, but maybe she’s trying to get Toby curious about her blood; because that line makes sense now, but I think I remember being very confused the first time I read it.

Annnnnd the Luidaeg refers to Evening in the present tense. Didn’t catch that the first time.

“You were that stupid by yourself? Wonderful. Amandine’s line is going to die out all on its own. I won’t have to lift a finger.”

Even Toby thought that was noteworthy, so that line is probably going to be important in some way. Maybe it has to do with Evening not being able to hurt Amandine’s line?

I wonder if the Luidaeg heard that Toby didn’t know that drinking the blood would make the curse stronger and thought, ‘Damnit, Amy, you are going to get your daughter killed.’

“The first hope chest was a gift from Oberon to Titania, to allow her to adjust her Court to her desire. She passed it along to the first of her half-blood children, and somewhere along the line, there were more of them. No one knows who made the later ones. I don’t know, so don’t ask.”

This doesn’t quite match up with the short story The Fixed Stars. In that story, the Luidaeg helps the changeling/merlins in a war against the fae in order for Oberon to step in and create the hope chests. According to that story, the hope chests were created specifically to help the changelings. Maybe the first one was made for Titania, and then the other ones came after that war.

Ahhh, my theory about why the Luidaeg owes Devin is wrong. She says that it’s because he stopped people trying to burn her at the stake. Although, she said that it was sixty years ago; who (and where) the hell was burning someone at the stake in 1949???

Hahaaaa, the Luidaeg called Toby pretty smart. I bet that was the last time the Luidaeg ever thought that.

Did the Luidaeg ever ask Toby the question that had to be answered completely honestly? The Luidaeg asked her a question, but I don’t think it reallly counted.

Chapter 24

Cagney and Laceeeeeeey. I think this is the beginning of them being personal messengers to their King. I think that should be utilized more often. (I’m biased; if there’s a way to add cats, I want to add cats)

I’m confused about Toby not wanting Tybalt to know about the curse. I thought the binding was the curse. If it is, then he doesn’t need to hear about it from everyone else, Toby; you told him about it already.

Annnnnd here’s Julie attacking Toby over Ross’ death. I have never been particularly sympathetic to Julie over this. I understand being angry at Lily over this; if Toby’s right about her motivation, then Lily did send them out despite knowing they were best suited to actually stopping the assassin. But both Ross and Julie knew what they were getting into when they agreed to escort Toby to her taxi. It’s definitely a tragedy that Ross died, but it’s not Toby’s fault that they both agreed to do the dangerous thing, and then it turned out to be dangerous. I could maybe understand it in this book, but it’s more and more childish the longer Julie insists that it’s Toby’s fault.

I didn’t really understand why Tybalt kept Julie in his Court, since Toby’s already said that he’s kicked her out when she’s refused to listen to him before, but then I realized that if he kicked her out, there would be nothing stopping Julie from tracking Toby and killing her, where as if she was part of his Court then Tybalt would have the authority to stop her.

Ahhhhhh Tybalt’s trusting Toby with access to his memorieeeeeeesssss

That’s it for this recap! I THINK there’s only going to be one more, but we’ll see. I’m hoping to be done by Tuesday, but we’ll see how it goes. As always, come talk to me about the books!

#October Daye #Rosemary and Rue #ReRead Project

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babemazzello · 5 years

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‘39 - A John Deacon FanFiction

Chapter 10 - Getting Closer

Story Description: Amy is sitting in his apartment when she hears some frantic knocking outside her door. She opens it to see a frightened and frazzled John Deacon. A 23-year-old John Deacon. Who believes it’s still 1974, and not 2019. Amy takes it upon herself to help John and get him back to where he belongs. Part 1 is here.

Chapter Description: Amy and John are even closer than before and there is absolutely no tension between them anymore. Amy tells John more things about the future and they spend a nice time listening to music together.

Notes: If you would like to be tagged for this story, either leave a comment or shoot me a message and I will tag you for all future chapters. Thank you all so much for reading, by the way. It means a lot to me. (Also, I took a week off to straighten some things out, so thanks for sticking with me and being patient. <3) ((Something got screwed up with the first version of this so I’m trying again. whoops.))

Warnings: none

Words: 3.3k

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1 week later

Since we held hands that night, we had been closer than ever before. We would stay up late telling jokes and funny stories to each other. Just loving the presence of the other person near us. Sometimes, when I would be cooking breakfast, John would come up behind me and place a hand on the small of my back. He would help me out if I needed anything and even set the table if the food was taking longer than I thought.

While our mornings before work were spent talking and enjoying conversations with each other, our evenings were becoming a little different. I would take John out to eat more than before. Getting him acquainted with little nuances of the future. Things like screens being everywhere, people having every piece of knowledge at their fingertips, and how multitasking was becoming an increasingly normal thing.

"So, people just listen to music while they do...anything?" He asked. We were sitting in a diner that I had been to a countless number of times before. The reason I hadn't taken him here was because the walls were covered in 1950's music icons and their music was constantly playing over the speakers just low enough that you could talk over it or listen to it to drown out the silence if there was a lull in the conversation. I was worried about him knowing that these artists are still respected and known over 50 years into the future since their start. But, because I was teaching him everything about the future, I figured this was something he was bound to figure out at some point since I had some of these records at home.

"Yup," I answered. "I thought you might have had that in your time, but you don't. It first started with something called a Walkman which I think came out in the late 70's." I was going into another history/future lesson and his eyes and ears were locked on me as he rested his face in his hand. "You see, the music industry found a way to condense a record into a plastic rectangle about...this size." I tried to make a box with my fingers in the shape of a cassette. "Those were called cassettes and you could play them as you walked around. But now, you can put music onto...want to take a guess?" I asked. Placing my hand on my phone next to me on the booth.

"Your phone?" He asked with a smile. I picked up my phone and showed it to him.

"Exactly," I grinned. I placed the phone down on the table. "So, the record and cassette could only hold about 12 songs, but if I really wanted to, I could fit over...I don't know...2,000 songs on here?" I was guessing on that part. I figured it could at least hold 2,000 and John would be impressed by that number anyway.

"2,000?" He almost yelled. Thankfully, the place was pretty empty so no one was bothered by our conversation.

"Yeah. That's normal now. Isn't that crazy?" I was beaming. I loved seeing him experience this world for the first time. Especially because when you live in a world like this, you get used to it. It becomes normal. Teaching him about all this stuff made me appreciate it more and actually realize how far we had come in a society in almost 50 years. There was a small silence between us.

"So...If you have all this technology and live in a time like this, why do you care about the past? I feel like I wouldn't," he admitted. I thought about it for a second. He stumped me. How could I put my love of the past into words? No one had ever asked me that before.

"Well," I stammered, trying to buy some time while thoughts raced in and out of my mind. "Everyone looks back on the past with rose-colored glasses, right? I guess that's very true for me as well. I see the amazing parts of the past. Like the music and the entertainment and the pop culture. The good stuff. And I guess I'm not doing you any favors by only telling you the good stuff about the future either." He knitted his eyebrows together.

"Tell me that too then," he said in a soft voice.

"Well, life expectancy is down for the second year in a row, companies are forcing people to work in low paying jobs and for despicably long hours, global warming is almost at a point where it might be irreversible, everyone in the world is more divided than they ever were before, people have begun to stop vaccinating their kids because of false scientific research, and then there are leaders here and all around that world that refuse to believe that none of this is happening. The people in charge who have the resources to fix most of the bad stuff don't want to because it would get in the way of their own interests to make a bunch of money. That's the bad stuff." I looked at John's eyes. He was staring down at the table, but looking through it. His eyes were in a thousand-yard stare trance. "And that's not even all of it." There was another silence.

"I'm sorry about that," he apologized.

"It's alright. Nothing to be sorry about. It's just the world I live in. I'm sure the time you're from isn't all puppies and roses either. It's just how the world works. There has to be some bad so you can appreciate the good. Focusing on the good parts gets you through the day. So, that's what I choose to do." I sat back in my seat.

"I guess that's true," he replied. There was a silence before he decided to change the subject. "But, why does Elvis seem to be everywhere? Is he considered the greatest artist of all time? Because it seems like it." He looked up at the giant mural of Elvis that was painted on the wall above our booth. To be fair, it was a good question to ask. Even when we would be walking down the street, there would be vendors selling art and they would always have some piece with Elvis.

"He's sort of a peace-keeper, I guess. I haven't met anyone who's said that they didn't like Elvis. He's like the one thing all of us can agree on. He's not necessarily the greatest, but he's loved by pretty much everyone. Guys wanted to be him and girls wanted to be with him," I explained.

"Must be nice," John said.

"What part of it?" I asked, not entirely sure by what his statement meant.

"The fact that everyone loves him." He was still staring at the painting. I bunched my eyebrows together in confusion.

"What do you mean? Do you think people don't love you? You have some fans, right?" I tried to be as nonchalant with my question as possible.

"Yes, we do. But, I don't like the fame part. If everyone could just like me and never acknowledge me for it, I'd be happy." He gave me a small smile right before our waiter came with our food. I sadly smiled down at my food. Knowing full well that after Freddie died, he retired from the music industry and was never seen again. And the fact that it was well known that he didn't like the fame, but liked making music. I was saddened to see this part of him even in his younger self. It reminded me too vividly of what was to come.

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We had started a tradition at home of trying to watch a movie together every other night. It not only gave John something to look forward to but something else to do. I explained to him what DVDs were. I didn't even try to explain streaming services because that would be a little too complex for him right now. So, our movie choice was limited to whatever DVDs I still had on my shelves. Thankfully, I had a lot of old movies.

That night, we decided to watch It's A Wonderful Life. It wasn't close to Christmas, but we both admitted that we loved the movie and decided to watch it anyway. I grabbed it off the shelf and popped it into the player.

John was sitting back on the couch. His legs spread a little bit and one of his arms resting on the back of the chair. A loud crack of thunder roared outside and we both stopped what we were doing to watch the rain blast against the window.

"Some storm," John commented.

"Happens more than you think this time of the year." April was always supposed to be the rainy season, but New York never got the memo. It would rain a lot in May which didn't please many of the tourists who thought this was the perfect time to come here.

"Glad we're inside then," John spoke again. I looked over at him and watched him watch the rain for a second. The yellow light reflected in the raindrops danced across his face and made him look more handsome than in the daytime, which I didn't think was possible. I shook the thought from my head and finished setting up the movie.

I walked over to the couch and sat down in the place beside John. The next couch cushion. There was room left between us, but not much. I liked it that way. His arm rested on the back of the couch behind me. I was very aware of it as I pressed a button on the remote to start the movie.

We sat and watched in silence. Laughing along to some of the jokes. That was until Mary showed up. The movie is often talked about as a Christmas movie, but not a romantic movie. My eyes widened when I remembered which part would be coming soon. Then, it came.

The part where George and Mary stand in front of her house and George says he would give her anything. He talks about giving her the moon if she wants it. And how he'll tie a lasso around it and pull it down. Then, they kiss. My heart melted seeing them kiss. Knowing that I was sitting next to the one person who I wanted to kiss more than anyone else in the world.

And, like he was reading my mind, his arm shifted off the back of the couch and onto my shoulder. Comforting me. He had made his move. I was shocked at the sudden touch. I looked over at him, unsure if he knew what he was doing. He looked down at me and saw the confusion in my eyes. He quickly thought that he had made a mistake and read the situation wrong.

I acted quickly to try and make him stay. To tell him that what he did was nice and right. As his hand slipped off of my shoulder, I caught it and pulled it back over. I scooted in closer to him on the couch and laid my head on his shoulder. Slightly resting into him.

I heard him let out a small chuckle at my actions. Happy that I wasn't backing away as I had done before. If I tried hard enough, I could hear his heartbeat. But, only when the movie was quiet or extremely low. We sat like that for the rest of the movie.

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The next day, I was home from work. Saturdays were nice because I could sleep for as long as I wanted and no one could tell me otherwise. However, I hadn't seemed to be able to do that since John got here. I was always waking up earlier than I normally would on the weekends just to make sure he had something to do.

However, I started to trust John a bit more. Trusted him to not defy me like he once did and be alright on his own in the mornings and let me sleep past 9. John liked to sleep in as well, but I wasn't akin to his sleep schedule, even after all this time. So, sometimes I would wake up and he would still be asleep. It didn't bother me too much because he looked so adorable when he slept.

Although that day, we were both up pretty early in the morning. We spent most of the day enjoying some music and I was telling him stories about some of the 'new' bands he hadn't gotten to experience yet like Journey, Boston, STYX, David Bowie, and other people from the late seventies and early eighties. He seemed to enjoy them quite a bit.

"Oh! Let's try this one," I suggested after scanning the newly refiled record collection. I had put all of the albums back because there wasn't a restriction on them anymore. Well, all of them except the Queen ones, but John didn't need to know that.

I slid the record out from the shelf and stood up. Walking over to the player and unsheathing the record from its sleeve. John watched my every move, but I tried not to focus on that. I placed the black and gold sleeve next to it as I smiled to myself. Knowing full well that he was going to love what I was going to play.

I placed the needle on top of the record and waited for the familiar piano rake to hit my ears. I turned toward John as Dancing Queen filled the room. I got the pleasure to show disco to a future funky disco man.

His eyes lit up as he listened to the song for the first time. I danced around to the beat that I had heard a million times before, but it suddenly felt so new and fresh. I swiveled around and mouthed the lyrics to the song. Doing my best to emulate what the dancing would have been like in the clubs when this song came on. Which was also similar to what people would do when the song came on now.

John laughed as I acted out every lyric and dance move. Shaking my hips around the room and even recreating some of the moves from the movie. I loved dancing around to ABBA's music and I hadn't done it in such a long time. I watched his eyes as the music flowed through him. He was listening to every beat and loving every second of it.

Up until now, he had his face in his book. Only listening to the music as background noise as a way to catch up on everything he had been missing all these years. But, with this album, he was focused completely on the music. Bobbing his head to it as he watched me dance.

I pointed to John throughout the chorus. Making sure that he knew that he was the dancing queen. He wouldn't understand what I was referring to yet since Disco Deacy didn't come out in full swing until the late seventies. So, he just enjoyed the attention I was giving him.

Eventually, the song ended, and he seemed sad. Wanting the disco beat to go on forever. I knew he would like the song, but it shocked me that he was so moved by it. We waited for the next one to start. Knowing Me, Knowing You began to ring through the apartment. I danced along with this one too. A little slower, but still dance-worthy.

I started singing along to the actual song. John chuckled and kept a smile plastered on his face the entire time. It was difficult to keep the blush from creeping over my face at how he was admiring me. My entire body felt like it was on fire just from his gaze. And I became embarrassed that I was dancing alone. I walked over to his and reached both of my hands out to him. I smiled at him. A wide grin plastered on my face.

"Come on. I know you want to," he grabbed my hands with a nervous laugh and started to dance with me. I held his hands in mine and swayed them back and forth to get him a little more comfortable. He was bobbing his head and two-stepping to the beat. He was trying to loosen up when he danced around me.

I broke away from him and started dancing crazily to the music to hopefully encourage him to let loose a little more. It seemed to work when I saw his hips begin swaying more and his arms started moving around to the beat. But, the song started to fade out. I had spent so long trying to get him to dance that the song had ended. But, I knew what the next one was and I smiled at him as Take A Chance On Me started playing.

I lip-synced the words at John while he was dancing to the beat. It was wonderful and soft. Both of us giggling at each other's silliness and feeling comfortable enough around each other to do something like this. Everything was going great until I sang a certain lyric at John that made his face fall.

Cause you know I've got

So much that I wanna do, when I dream I'm alone with you

It's magic

You want me to leave it there,

Afraid of a love affair, but I think you know,

That I can't let go

His face turned serious as his dancing began to slow and weaken. I kept singing, hoping that I didn't offend him in some way. I started poking his side with my finger. Hoping to get him back into the silly mood with me. With every poke of my finger, he seemed to cheer up a little bit.

And when I went in to poke him for the fifth time, he grabbed my hand and pulled me in closer to him. I laughed at his sudden movement as he brought my hand in his and we were in the slow dance position. We began swaying back and forth to the fast pace of the song. Laughing and giggling to each other. Loving how close we were.

John would extend his arm to push me out and pull me back in. He would even spin me as well to the beat of the song. It was intimate and close, and there wasn't any tension between us. None lingering from the last time we were in this position. It was calm and silly and had no expectations behind it.

When the song eventually faded away, we stopped and realized what position we were in. He looked over at our hands and then the small space between our bodies and then up to my face. There was a small twinge of fright at what he would do next. I desperately didn't want a repeat of last time, and I wasn't sure if I would pull away again or give in. But, thankfully, there wasn't a repeat.

"I feel like getting something to drink tonight. What about you?" He spoke. I was shocked and even stepped back a small step at his question.

"Yeah, sure," I laughed.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"Nothing, I just- That seemed to come out of nowhere, that's all," I answered him.

"Oh well, do you know any good bars we can go to?" He wanted to get out of the house, but I couldn't let that happen.

"Can't go out to any bars," I informed him. The next song started, but we didn't notice it or pay attention.

"And why not?" John asked in a playful fashion.

"Too many drunk people who might let something slip about the future to you. And I can't let that happen." I saw his face get sad, so I offered up another solution. "But, I can go get some bottles of something and bring them back here. We can have our own little party, how about that?" His face lightened.

"Sounds like a plan." He said.

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Masterlist

#john deacon #queen #'39 - a john deacon fanfiction #john deacon x reader #john deacon fan fiction #john deacon fanfiction #queen x reader #queen fan fiction #queen fanfiction #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #time travel #masterlist #deacy #deaky

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lucky-katebishop · 5 years

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Top 10 Failed/Doomed Ships

Hello! So I watch a lot of TV and something that pops up a lot are relationships that the public has been rooting for, but for some reason or another, the writers and show-runner feel like it would be the best to end that relationship. This is a list of my personal top 10 failed relationships that were once canon.

Note: This is my opinion and only my opinion, I do not speak for the general public or anybody besides myself. Also none of these pictures are mine, I got them off Google Images.

Spoilers for: Gossip Girl, Gilmore Girls, Daredevil, The Defenders, Skins (UK), That 70′s Show, Please Like Me, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Lucifer, How I Met Your Mother, and Doctor Who

10. Josh and Arnold (Please Like Me)

Josh and Arnold was so soft. They were so so soft and when they broke up in season three, it was weird because it not only felt like a crushing disappointment but also a relief. They had been fighting and had recently decided to have an open relationship where Josh had found another man, and it was weird because (it may have only been me) I rooted for Josh and that other man. Their breakup felt so realistic because it felt almost impulsive, the way they screamed at each other during the camping site. Josh ended up getting back together with his season one boyfriend and it didn’t feel right to me. But I have always praised this show on how realistic it feels and Josh and Arnold’s breakup depicted how sometimes in life shit happens and it’s just not the right time for two people to be together. Which really sucks because they were like so great together, but the reason this is so low on the list is because of that realistic feeling. It just unfortunately was not their time to be together anymore.

9. Matt and Elektra (Daredevil)

Matt’s life has always been so private, even to the audience, so when we were given the gift of a series of flashbacks of a baby faced Matt in college and his super elegant, dangerous girlfriend, Elektra, I instantly fell in love with them. They are the epitome of the good guy/bad guy relationship and it’s amazing! I love their dynamic, especially when she comes back and Matt is faced with his moral dilemma of trying to stop her, or join her and it’s so unbelievably hot. Their relationship is so hot. What’s worse is that Matt was so heartbroken during the entirety of The Defenders, trying to find her that he was almost unable to focus on anything else. The way he would risk is life for her, even when she didn’t even recognize him just speaks volumes about their relationship. I understand why she had to die, it just sucks because I would’ve liked to see more Matt/Elektra fighting villains and just being super sexy morally gray vigilantes.

8. Lane and Dave (Gilmore Girls)

Okay, you’re probably going, “Why is this above Matt/Elektra? You’re crazy!” Listen. Every single time I watch Gilmore Girls I am infuriated about how Lane and Dave broke up. I understand that the actor who played Dave had to leave to star on The O.C. but Lane and Dave were just so cute and adorable! He read the whole freaking bible in a single night to persuade Mrs. Kim to let him take Lane to the prom! They understood each other, and he supported her with their music, her mom, and her life. Dave enjoyed playing music for Mrs. Kim for pretty much an entire day just so he could be near Lane. He never made her feel bad for the things she liked, and he was just so so gentle. I always rewatch the scene where Dave is jealous about how Lane is going on a date that her mom set up for her and he ran all the way to her school just so he could say, “Hi. Just checking in.” I will never forget jealous Dave! So cute, just so cute. Lane and Dave breaking up is something I will never forgive Amy Sherman Palladino because it was the catalyst for Lane’s shitty life. Lane married really young, she had kids (and she didn’t even enjoy the sex, mind you) and then didn’t even end up being a rock star like she wanted! I know she was supposed to mirror Lorelai, but Palladino could’ve done Lane better. Instead she did her dirty.

7. Joel and Midge (The Marvelous Mrs Maisel)

I don’t believe Midge and Joel are a failed relationship in the way that you might think. It’s the reason why they are going to keep going back to another is the reason why they are a failed relationship. Lenny Bruce sang it himself in the season two finale. Midge and Joel are meant to be together in the most fucked up way possible. Always going back and forth between getting back together and being apart. They will always love each other in the most comfortable and frustrating way possible. Sabotaging their future relationships. I do not believe they belong together. I do not believe Midge has to settle for him and I don’t believe Joel has to settle for her. She has changed, he can see that and he doesn’t like it. She inspires Joel to be better but that doesn’t mean they belong together. Amy Sherman Palladino has a vision and it frustrates me but I understand this is the way things are supposed to be. So we as the audience has to settle for their relationship just like they have to settle for each other. It’s brilliant in it’s own fucked up way.

6. Barney and Robin (How I Met Your Mother)

I am not over this. I am still not over this. Hey, guess what, I am not over this! Man, the series finale did us dirty. For an entire season to be revolved around the love between Barney and Robin only for the last fifteen minutes to rip our security and comfort out from under us is diabolical. Barney and Robin went through a lot. Their character development was beautiful but the writers had a vision and just straight up ruined them. Barney and Robin knew each other so well and they had so much fun together vs Robin and Ted who Ted just expected so much out of Robin and tried to make her into something that she wasn’t. Robin and Barney were a badass couple who shared their vulnerabilities and insecurities because they felt safe in their relationship which is why it’s a damn shame that they had to get divorced in the last few minutes of the series finale.

5. Rich and Grace (Skins UK)

Generation 3 could’ve been better, I know, but it got progressively worse when Grace died. Why they had to kill off the most beautiful, adorable, sweetest character in Skins history I don’t really know, but damn them. Grace and Rich were the epitome of the dark, angsty character dates the light, bubbly character. He was a metalhead and she was a ballerina and if that’s not cute then you don’t know what you’re talking about. Their relationship has always reminded me of a Shakespeare tragedy, where two unlikely characters meet, fall in love, are torn apart by their families, they run away to get married, and the one of them di- oh okay, so yeah, they’re Romeo and Juliet. Alright. I never made that connection until just now. Well it fits because they are fucking cute and romantic as hell. Just thinking about them rips my heart out because I really didn’t like generation three, but I really did like them. I am angry and betrayed that I never got a relationship like this in high school (I mean granted I didn’t have a relationship in high school so...)

4. Chloe and Lucifer (Lucifer)

Just look at them in this picture! So soft! I love them for so many reasons. She makes him human, most of all. Who would’ve thought Satan himself would feel vulnerable around a human being? This is better mythology than Hades and Persephone. Just, god, they are the high strung detective/ morally gray childish detective dynamic and it works so well. I put them on the doomed relationship list because well, they were canon for an episode and then just kind of stopped. They’re kind of like New Girl with Nick and Jess because you know they are going to happen eventually, you just don’t know when. I just hope that the show does better when Lucifer and Chloe get together vs when Nick and Jess got together because season three was a mess. The most amazing thing is that they both bring out vulnerabilities with each other. Chloe lets down her walls when she’s around him and he becomes more human. It’s so cute. They’re partners and they trust each other and damn, did I mention that she makes him human? Because that is truly insane. I can’t wait to see what they do with season 4. I know it’s going to take a really long time for them to get together and that makes me want to rip my hair out but we’re going with it. The reason why this is so high on the list is because they had everything going for them in season two but Lucifer had to be himself, of course and it just fucked everything up.

3. Hyde and Jackie (That 70′s Show)

Still bitter. Still angry. Still annoyed. I mean, come on, Fez? Really? Out of everyone Jackie could’ve end up with, she ended up with Fez? Are you actually serious? Hyde and Jackie were such a surprising couple but it makes so much sense. Their relationship, to me, mirrored Kitty and Red a lot and I’m really mad they broke up. I am not even going to talk about the last season except I think it’s universally agreed upon every That 70′s Show fan that it should not have existed and it’s incredibly stupid (and out of character). Hyde and Jackie evolved together, and they cared for each other, and they made each other better people. They just matched so well and it got all screwed up.

2. The Doctor and River (Doctor Who)

They were so perfect because of so many reasons it makes me so sad they broke up. But the worse thing is that I know why they had to break up, I get that, and I accept it. But damn we really should’ve gotten more scenes of them just being domestic. They were so perfect! And River’s storyline is just beyond genius, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that they had planned this storyline in season 4, my god. They were both so playful and fun, I like to believe they’re the more bubbly version of Matt/Elektra. The Doctor cared so much for River and I think it sucks so much that we didn’t get to see as much cuteness as I would have liked. They had like two kisses, three kisses tops and I find that sad because their chemistry is so amazing. Sorry my reasons are getting progressively worse, I am tired.

Honorable Mentions: June/Happiness (The Handmaid’s Tale), Sammy/Abigail (Dance Academy), Jane/Michael (Jane the Virgin), Sara/Chuck (Chuck), Tracey/Connor (Chewing Gum), Evie/Dylan (Lovesick), Maddie/Josh (Liv and Maddie)

1. Dan and Blair (Gossip Girl)

Listen. I don’t care what you say, they belong together. Dan and Blair is a couple you wouldn’t think would work but they fit so well together. They’re both from completely different backgrounds but it doesn’t matter because they have each other. Dan understands Blair in a way Chuck never could. Dan loves who Blair is not in spite of her flaws but because of them. Blair and Dan are able to say those three words that Blair and Chuck had so much trouble saying: I love you. Honestly, Blair and Chuck were never able to say I love you to each other! (well they did but not as easily.) It says something, huh? Dan was there for Blair when Chuck wasn’t, he loved her when no one else would, and he saw the value in Blair. They brought each other up and were so soft. They had problems like any couple but they communicated with each other like a healthy couple does in order to grow from their mistakes. They really did love each other and were the healthiest couples in the entire show (besides Cyrus and Eleanor). I will forever be bitter.

I hope you enjoyed my list! Sorry if you didn’t agree with me, leave who you think belongs on this list in the comments. I’ve made a couple lists similar to this, so here’s the link: Masterlist

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galemalio · 6 years

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Title: Rift

Summary: Mickey always blamed himself for the rift between him and Donald. For not being there for Donald during WW2. For not convincing Walt harder to get drafted too. So he tries his best to be a better friend after that. Like keeping him out of trouble by convincing him not to join protests in 2018. Because Disney Studios moves safely in involving itself with political matters. But there are some things Mickey couldn't understand in Donald's world that’s bigger than Disney Studios.

Author’s Note: After running into so many news about the current events in the US, I’ve always wondered how Donald Duck would react to it. After all, he was “drafted” in 1942 to fight against the Nazis. He would have a far different experience and views from Mickey who Walt refused to get involved with war propaganda.

It was like reasoning with a wall. A feathered, stomping wall.

“Donald, you know how they feel about this,” Mickey still attempted. He ducked. An icebox flew. It crashed right into the living room. More scrapings ensued in the closet where it came from.

He straightened up again slowly, arms crossed over his head. In case more heavy objects decided to defy gravity. “They don’t like it when we get involved with controversies.”

Donald just soldiered past him, his bill pressed into a firm stubborn line. He grabbed the icebox and went to the kitchen. Mickey followed. He watched Donald upend ice cube trays into the ice box.

“You know what Walt would say if he was still alive?” Mickey asked. He didn’t miss how Donald paused. How Donald bashed the ice cubes out of the tray with renewed aggression. The duck flung open the refrigerator door.

“He’d say we’re here to bring magic,” he said louder over the water bottles now being dumped into the icebox. “Donald!” he grabbed Donald’s wrist to stop him from tuning him out. “Whatcha want to do is great and all. But there are other ways to help without complicating things for everybody.”

Donald snatched his wrist away, his eyes burning with weight that was ready to fly off the handle. Instead, he grabbed the filled icebox and turned his back on Mickey.

Mickey’s mouth hung open. Donald was obviously irate. When Donald is irate, he would be ranting. Which would make him more gibberish. Which would make him less understandable. Which would just add fuel to his fire.

But underneath his own confusion, there was a stinging twinge at Donald’s dismissal. He could feel it again. The rift between them. It was beyond the clash of their personalities that had labelled them as an odd couple. A curious disconnect that had stretched for more than 70 years.

Then talk to me, Donald! He wanted to shout. Walt had always said Donald is his problem child. Mickey sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Look, I want to join protests too. I want to do the good. But this is messy.” He went around to face Donald again. “We’ll find another way to help,” he said with a hopeful smile. Hope that he got through to Donald. Hope that Donald realizes the weight they carry as Walt’s children. Hope that for once, Donald would listen.

Donald only walked past him and disappeared in the closet again. Mickey wanted to tear his own ears off. Ever since Donald’s creation back in 1930s, Donald never recognizes Mickey’s responsibility in being in charge -in and out of the set.

“Amy will be harder on you after this,” he said. Amy was Donald’s newest handler. Donald was usually a tired, passive slacker. Until he goes off. After that, it’s a battle of wills with a duck that had mastered bullheadedness into perfection. Eighty years could do that.

Donald didn’t answer. He just placed the first aid kit beside the icebox. Mickey gaped at it. Donald, as a toon, hardly needs that. Toons were pretty much indestructible. “What does Daisy think about this?” Mickey asked.

“She. Un. Der. Stands,” he grounded out, each syllable a heel grinding pointfully on Mickey.

Mickey frowned, meeting his eyes. That was unfair. Here he was trying to communicate with someone who’s shutting him out and he was the one who couldn’t understand him?

I should’ve been there for him, he thought in frustration. Should’ve tried harder with Walt. I could’ve convinced him. I would’ve been there for him.

Should’ve. Could’ve. Would’ve.

Mickey closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Once he had asked Walt why Donald couldn’t just be good. Everything you are, he isn’t, Walt had confided. Everything he is, you aren’t.

“Who are you going with?” Mickey asked.

Donald looked away and his shoulders fell with a huff. In his own Donaldy-way, it was his form of regret. For that, Mickey forgave him.

“I’m going with José and Panchito,” he offered in a gruff non-apology apology.

Mickey tried to ignore the surge of jealousy. Panchito and José have helped Donald from his darkest times after World War 2. Something he nor Goofy couldn’t get Donald out of.

He chastised himself. At least they made Donald smile back in those days when Mickey could only watch as Donald spiralled. Panchito and José could be controversial -smoking and gunning and sleeping around. But the two birds were good for Donald. He remembered how Donald would disappear to Brazil or Mexico at least once a year. Perhaps, even too good.

“They want to be there for the immigrants,” Donald said. Mickey quickly wiped away any emotion his face might betray. He wondered if Donald saw right through his shameful jealousy. He was supposed to be a good friend. Someone who’s purely happy for him.

Donald took his placard from its resting place. His fingers slid down the freshly dried paint, its message bold and clear.

“Mickey… remember when Goofy and I got drafted?”

Mickey startled. Donald never talked about the war. Never wanted to. Mickey placed his hands over his. Just as he predicted, Donald moved his hands away, still holding the sign.

“I wanted to be drafted too,” Mickey quietly said. His ears lowered. “But Walt wouldn’t let me.”

Another closeted flaw he kept to himself. While Goofy was only a posterboy in bombardment squads, Donald was more involved in the war. Aside from the propaganda films, Donald actually served.

But at what cost?

The stormier eyes. The heightened sensitivity to sudden noises. (Grenades, he told himself. It was those goshdarned grenades.) The defeated weariness after there was nothing left to destroy in his fits of anger. The directors thought it was funny. Mickey had trusted Walt.

In a way, Walt did help Donald. He brought him along to his diplomatic missions in Latin America where Donald first met José. Then Panchito. Mickey wished Donald had gotten psychiatric help sooner instead.

“I should’ve convinced him harder to let me get drafted too,” Mickey said, his voice dropping into a whisper. The room seemed to get colder as he pulled out his own confessional like pulling out his teeth with a rusty hook. “It should’ve been us together: Mickey, Donald and Goofy. Like we always do.”

And maybe then, you wouldn’t have to face the war alone, he thought, a bitter taste invading the back of his throat.

Donald dryly stared at him as though Mickey couldn’t see it.

See what?! Mickey wanted to scream. This wasn’t the first time Donald had looked at him laconically like he was a little kid. A little kid who couldn’t tell apart real life from cartoons. Whenever Mickey gave thought about Donald, the duck was stimulatingly, frustratingly a bag of contradictions. Selfish and selfless. Apathetic and passionate. But self-absorbed and aware at the same time?

But he was Mickey Mouse. He didn’t rage or scream. That was Donald’s thing. Instead, he only felt lost. He was usually the one who shows Donald how to be happy. But when did bliss became ignorance?

“You’re his golden boy,” Donald opened the first aid kit and counted the gauze. There was no resentment. No jealousy. Just weariness from living with the facts. “Walt would never be convinced to get you tainted by reality.”

Mickey held his arm as if covering a sting.

“Walt meant well,” Mickey said, he couldn’t help that his tone sounded protesting. “He just didn’t expect...” he shrugged, looking around. Trying to find the right word for the gray that came after. The gray that had colored Donald underneath pristine white feathers. “...Everything.”

There was something distant in Donald’s eyes as he looked at Mickey. Like he was watching a bird fly because that’s what birds do.

“No point regretting what wasn’t done,” Donald said, eyeing the amount of antiseptic in a bottle. Mickey got the feeling he wasn’t only talking about him not getting drafted.

“Donald,” Mickey grabbed his arm. This was it. “I wasn’t there to share what you’ve been through-”

Donald tried to shrug him off, looking confused. “I never wanted you to.”

But Mickey held on. “-and I’m trying to be a better friend-”

“What?!”

“-that’s why I don’t want you to get into trouble.” Mickey could already imagine the internet wars following the protests where Donald, Panchito and José would be seen. With Donald’s temper, probably lawsuits included. The PRs. The paparazzis going nuts. “The executives would let us hold charities. Give donations. Promote NGOs. Be a more positive influence without opposing anyone.”

He squeezed his arm. “Donald, things don’t always have to be messy.”

Donald leaned away. He stared at Mickey so hard, Mickey could almost see the gears grinding behind his eyes.

“Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not your fault,” Donald finally said.

“But Donald-”

“Nope! Nu-uh! You’re not going to make me say it, Mickey!”

“Donald, what’re you-”

“You’re a great friend! There! I said it!” Donald’s face shone firetruck red. “Don’t you dare try any harder or you’ll drive me up the wall!”

Mickey stood there frozen, trying to understand what was happening. Donald only looked at him frustratingly, silently blaming him at the turn of their conversation.

“Does that mean you’ll take up my offer?” Mickey asked in a small, hopeful voice that wheedled through the awkwardness between them.

Donald slapped a hand over his face. Hard. He slowly dragged it over his eyes. Then down his bill. Mickey felt like a kid who had asked an idiotic question to a parent whose patience was running thin.

But instead of throwing up his hands with an “Ah, phooey!” Donald just sighed.

“Mickey… I’ve seen what that hate,” he gestured outside, “had lead to before.“

Mickey snapped to attention. Donald spoke each word slow and deliberate to be understandable over his speech impediment. Donald never had the patience for it before.

Donald picked up his icebox and first aid kit, his sign tucked under his arm. “This is another war and I’m going to fight it.” A shadow crossed his face that Mickey could only imagine what it was. “Before it gets bloody…. Bloodier than last time.”

Before he could walk away, Mickey grabbed his hand. Donald glanced at it before looking at Mickey.

“I can’t be there with you,” Mickey said quietly. Rough with anguish at what he must do. Or rather what he mustn’t do.

Donald only smiled as though once again, he was expecting this. “I know.”

Mickey could almost feel the “child-friendly” bounds keeping him at place. It was what Walt would’ve wanted for him. He tried to smile back.

Donald laughed at his attempt. His smile must’ve looked like he was grinding broken glass under his palm.

“Ah, phooey!” His webbed foot kicked imaginary dust. Donald slipped his hand away from his, looking anywhere but at Mickey’s unbearably conflicted face. “The kids still need you. Away from all of this,” Donald waved his hand.

Mickey just hung his head and Donald thought harder.

“This time, I won’t really be alone,” he finally said. “Don’t worry ‘bout me!”

They suddenly hear a car honk in the beat of the Cucaracha.

Donald’s face lit up with a smile that could challenge the sun. “Panchito! José!” He was gone in a puff of dust. Mickey didn’t need to see them to know that they’re in a happy tangle of hugs with a confusing showering of Portuguese-Spanglish.

Mickey watched them by the door. There was still a rift between them. An abyss that Mickey couldn’t cross. Walt meant so much to him that he would always follow Walt’s wish. Donald had understood that longer. However, above that abyss, there was now a connection firmly taut between them.

He watched them all shout, “The Three Caballeros!” He felt that surge of jealousy again. This time, it was fainter. There was an acceptance with the fact that at least Panchito and José wouldn’t just be there to pick up the pieces like last time. They would have his back.

Donald gave him one last glance and Mickey finally gave him a genuine smile, waving. Panchito and José waved back. They drove off, their picket signs sticking out of their car.

As long as Donald wouldn’t be alone in the other side of the rift, Mickey took comfort that he would be okay.

Author’s Notes: Alright, most of you may not like where Mickey had stood in here. But Mickey is the face of Disney who always do what’s right for his Disney kingdom. He would always choose the pacifist way first until it no longer works. Donald, who has a slight disregard for rules, would’ve set for a more confrontative path.

#disney #donald duck #mickey mouse #panchito pistoles #josé carioca #the three caballeros

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hotelsweet · 6 years

Text

you might kill me with desire - chapter 4

it’s me! back with the fic I apparently only update when I damn well feel like it!

ao3 link

***

As a detective, Amy’s made habit of reminding herself that she can never know anything for sure.

Today, standing to the side of Major Crimes’ biggest press junket yet, she has changed her mind. There is one thing of which she has never been more certain.

Keith Pembroke is an asshole.

As a self-respecting woman with at least half a shred of common sense, she’s always suspected it- but standing here, now, watching him take credit for her decision to reorder Oliver Clare’s autopsy, it’s decidedly clear.

Though it’s far from the reason she works where she does, Amy will happily admit that she enjoys receiving credit for her work. Being humble is one thing, obviously, but where it’s due, there’s nothing wrong with accepting praise for your hard work. Of course, she’s been told she’s a teacher’s pet- she can be smug, proud, and hugely competitive. But this is just insanely unfair.

She watches Pembroke, sat next to the commissioner. A seemingly endless tide of camera flashes blind the air, a room full of eager eyes, and he’s lapping it up- he’s not even smirking, putting on his Serious Face, and somehow this infuriates Amy even more. He’s doing everything he can to make himself convincing, like it was him who figured out Oliver might have been murdered, when he’s actually a total asshat who’s done virtually nothing this entire case-

“Hey.”

Jake, stood next to her, smiles lowly down at her. “You’ve got crazy eyes again,” he says under his breath.

Amy stays quiet- it’s unlikely that anyone would see them talking and question it, but she’s not sure she can even bring herself to risk it.

They must have opened the floor to questions, because suddenly the room is filled with the noise of eager voices competing to make themselves heard.

“I’m fine,” she says calmly to Jake, smiling politely, while she has the chance.

She’s not fine. She’s angry, confused, and determined to find out who hurt Oliver Clare. If it’s not torture enough having to stand here and watch the Vulture take credit for her work, it’s taking too long, and she desperately wants to be working.

It’s not like she’s really in the mood to have Jake comforting her, either- since she saw that text on his phone last night, she can’t help but feel a little wound up. She knows it’s petty, especially if she’s not going to ask him about it or give him a chance to explain, but they’re finally in a kind-of good place and she doesn’t want to ruin it by bringing something unnecessary up. Anyway, it could be nothing. It is nothing. If he wanted to see someone else, he’d see someone else.

There is, of course, the possibility that he’s seeing someone at the same time as their relationship-slash-not-relationship is happening. Amy can’t bring herself to believe it, but men she’s known have done worse.

All of a sudden, everything hits her. Jake, the case, the look on Pembroke’s face- her jaw aches slightly and before she knows it she feels sick to her stomach.

“I can’t be here,” Amy whispers quickly.

“What?!” Jake hisses back, but she’s already silently making her way out of the room.

Thankfully, it’s not too hard to be quiet. If the sudden tide of voices is anything to go by, they’re taking questions. She’ll be unnoticed.

The near-empty hall she finds herself in is far cooler, and she immediately finds herself more relaxed as a result. There’s a little residual dizziness, but nothing she can’t handle- she sinks into a seat off to the side and rubs her temples in a futile attempt to slow it all down.

There’s movement from the other side of the hall, which must mean things are coming to a close. Amy wipes the small sheen of sweat from her forehead and takes a deep breath. Her head is pounding, every negative emotion possible is boiling over, and she’s just about ready to punch somebody in the throat.

“Keep going, Amy.”

There’s no real belief in the words she’s speaking to herself, but hearing it is enough to get her back on her feet and moving towards the exit. Through the doors, and into the parking lot, and into her car, and back to the office. She wonders if she should wait for Jake, then decides against it. If she’s going to work she needs to be focused, and she can’t have him in her front seat and spend the entire time wondering if that text on his phone was from a girl, or worse yet, somebody who actually mattered to him.

No. Instead of waiting for Jake, she keeps repeating the same words over and over in her head.

Keep going, Amy.

***

“Thanks for meeting me. This should be pretty… brief.”

“No worries. I just want to help.”

The young, handsome man sat in front of Jake seems oddly comfortable. Naturally confident. Surprisingly at ease, given that his boss- and his boss’s son- have just been murdered.

“We appreciate it. This shouldn’t take too long- we’re just looking over everyone we’ve already spoken to,” Jake explains, in his super-manly-and-professional-detective voice. Secretly, this voice is one of his favourite parts of his job.

“No problem. Ask away.”

Daniel Clarke may just be the most charismatic man Jake’s ever met. He’s sat opposite a cop in an interview room, and he seems as appropriately at ease as a reasonable man could be in this situation. Of course, there’s an anguished seriousness behind those impossibly blue eyes, but he’s friendly, self-assured, and instantly likable. Makes sense- he seems exactly the kind of person someone as busy and powerful as Kristoff would want to hire.

“You said last time we spoke to you that you were almost constantly in the house, working with Kristoff.”

Daniel nods, completely focused on Jake.

“What was that like, being in his home so often, rather than an office?”

“I mean,” Daniel begins, pausing to think for a moment. “I was between the house and the offices. 70/30, really. It wasn’t too intense. But when it was just Kristoff and I in the house, things definitely felt… quiet.”

“Were you ever brought into family matters?”

“Never,” Daniel replies quickly. “I drove Angelica to therapy once or twice, but that’s it. It wasn’t the closest family environment, if y’know what I mean.”

“Angelica was in therapy?”

“Is,” Daniel corrects him. “I probably shouldn’t even be saying anything.”

“Why?”

Daniel sighs, an uncomfortable look on his face, as if realising he’s dug himself a hole.

“It’s pretty hush-hush. Emilia doesn’t want it getting out. Angelica’s had some problems with alcohol and drugs over the last couple years.”

“Didn’t she graduate high school early?”

“I’d imagine that’s thanks to the Adderall.”

“I see,” Jake replies solemnly, slightly discomfited by Daniel’s smooth reply. Angelica’s just a kid, with god knows what kind of pressures going on in her life. “From what you’re telling me, you sound like a pretty integral part of this life.”

“Eh,” Daniel brushes this off, “Kristoff was a self-made millionaire. I was just a pair of helping hands.”

Jake smiles politely at his modesty.

“Did Oliver have much involvement in the company?”

Daniel grimaces.

“Kristoff and his son weren’t on the best of terms. When Oliver was at MIT, Kristoff offered him work in the… online presence of the company, if you will, since he was studying computer science. He turned it down.”

Jake nods, but finds it hard not to feel a little frustrated. He’s hearing the same thing over and over, from everyone he interviews- Kristoff and Oliver had little to no relationship, both were closed-off moody men, et cetera, et cetera. There’s a missing link in something, or someone, that’s supposed to be coming after this family.

“Is there anyone you can think of that’d want to hurt the Clare family?”

“You’ve asked me that before.” Daniel smiles wryly.

“Better safe than sorry, I guess.”

“Well, there’s plenty,” Daniel half-laughs, “but none that’d want to kill them. Business is cut-throat, but Kristoff was virtually untouchable.”

“Or so it seemed.”

“Exactly.”

“If you don’t mind,” Jake continues cautiously, “could you take me back to the night Kristoff was killed? You said you were called back to the estate in the evening. Was there anything unusual about that?”

“Oh. Sure,” Daniel agrees, clearing his throat. “I was on a date, as you know, and I got a text from Kristoff asking me to come back to the estate urgently. I have no idea what it was for. Not that it mattered in the end, obviously.”

Except it did, Jake thinks- Kristoff might have known he was going to be hurt.

“Honestly, I didn’t think much of it. I don’t get much time off, and when I do it’s not exactly unusual to be called back in. I was essentially Kristoff’s bitch,” he half-laughs.

“Huh.” Jake flicks back and forth through the file Amy’s given him on Daniel. It’s only a couple of pages- his details, original alibi, that kind of stuff. But there’s no record of a text. “Would you be able to show me the text from Kristoff?”

Fleetingly, Daniel looks a little panicked.

“Uh, yeah-”

“Don’t worry, it’s just so we have a full collection of evidence. We need everything possible to make sure whoever did this is punished. We’ll take it on the way out.”

“Sure,” he agrees.

“Great. That’s all we really need from you today.”

“Sure.” Daniel repeats himself.

Once the interview’s been tied up and the screenshots have been collected as evidence, there’s very little for Jake to do except head back up to the office. Truthfully, Amy’s taken over the bulk of the work, barely uttering a word unless it’s to do with the case- he had to convince her to let him take the interview with Daniel just so he had something to do.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t worried about her.

The worst part is, he suspects it has something to do with him; since the night he received that text from the woman he met at the bar, she’s been… off. Not angry. Not cold. Just not quite Amy. If he thought she was intense about work before, he’s certainly coming to change his mind now. He wants to sit her down and tell her it was nothing, but he can barely get a word in edgeways if she’s talking to him at all.

When he reaches the office she’s leaning on one of her hands, hunched over a pile of papers so wide they’re almost falling off her desk. For the life of him he can’t even figure out what she’s looking at- but he daren’t disturb her. She doesn’t look up when he sits down at his desk, opposite her.

“I didn’t have much luck with Daniel,” he confesses, after at least a full minute of silence since he’s entered the room.

“Damn.” Amy glances up quickly to offer this one-word response, shooting him a brief, pitying look.

“Did get something new, though. I don’t know how helpful it really is.”

“What?” She doesn’t look up.

“Angelica’s in therapy.”

“Oh, I knew that. I thought I sent it to you last night.”

“No. What’ve you got there?” Jake asks after a pause lasting exactly the amount of time he feels makes it clear she’s not looking to further the conversation herself.

“Family records,” she replies absently.

“We’ve looked over those a hundred times,” he says reluctantly, conscious that this is neither helpful nor positive.

“I’m aware. I was hoping the hundred-and-first time would bring up something we haven’t seen yet.”

This time she doesn’t look at him when she says it, and now he’s sure she’s pissed off with him. He can’t be in the office while it’s like this, he decides, pulling on his jacket.

“I’m gonna get some coffee, maybe some lunch. Want anything?”

Staying away, for now, seems the best option; knowing the way their relationship is swinging back and forth right now, the icy reception could very easily be hot sex within the next twelve hours. Regardless, that vague sense of unease, of guilt, remains. They need to talk, he thinks, observing her as she twiddles a pen over her lower lip in concentration- but not right now.

“I’m good, thanks.”

He nods, instead of forcing a reply, and heads for the door.

But a loud, distinct iPhone’s ping! stops him in his tracks- for a moment, he thinks he might have left his phone on his desk, seeing as his is the only one that ever has the ringer switched on. But the noise has come from the corner, where Amy’s phone is charging on top of a filing cabinet. He’s not sure what makes him reach for it- perhaps the inviting look of curiosity that’s peeled her gaze away from her work and towards the phone.

“Who is it? Only VIP contacts have a ringtone,” Amy explains curiously, a touch of concern in her voice.

Jake can’t reply. His eyes have already found the screen, and he’s not sure he can look away. He can’t bring himself to mentally process the block of a message, only catching real buzzwords like miss you and touch and fuck and come back and what we had. Perhaps he’d be able to read this message if it weren’t for the name above it.

“Jake? Who is it?”

“It’s Teddy.” He’s almost embarrassed at how obviously thick his voice sounds when he says this. He couldn’t be more obviously affected.

“What?!” Amy springs up out of her chair and towards him, but she needn’t bother; Jake’s already holding out her phone towards her.

“So, when did that start again?” Jake forces these words through a laugh. It threatens to choke him.

“It didn’t.” She replies indignantly, staring wide-eyed at her lockscreen. “God, this is intense.”

“He really misses you.”

“Or he’s just horny. That’s a little embarrassing,” Amy grimaces, stepping past Jake as she clicks her phone shut and plugs the charger back in.

Jake can’t quite believe how easily she’s brushing over this. Amy’s about as likely to send a message that overtly sexual as she is to skip laundry day- so he’s a little surprised, to say the least, that receiving one hasn’t completely disgusted her. On the other hand is the fact that they’ve slept together several times now, not to mention the underlying romantic weirdness still lingering between them. Some part of him, however, small, feels owed an explanation.

“What’re you gonna say back?” He asks bluntly, maybe a little too late, since Amy’s already settled back into her reading.

“I…” She looks at him strangely. “I don’t know. I honestly wasn’t planning on texting back at all.”

“We both know you’re too polite to not text back.” Jake forces a smile. “C’mon, what’re you going to say?”

Amy smiles back, but it seems slightly pained- her eyes narrow and her lips part into an uncomfortable position, like she’s trying to read him on the spot.

“Jake, why do you care?”

There’s something sad in her eyes. He wonders if that’s because she pities him, or because she already regrets asking that question.

“Are you-” Jake has to steady himself for a moment, feeling that anger at their situation rise again. Every time they reach a solution they hit another wall, and it’s driving him insane. “Are you kidding me, Amy?”

She just raises her eyebrows at him, staring up at him with dark, sad eyes.

“We both have feelings for eachother. We’ve been sleeping together on and off for weeks, staying in eachother’s apartments, and I like you, Amy- obviously a message like that is gonna make me feel like crap.”

She doesn’t reply this time, just watching him. Her expression becomes more concentrated, upset transforming into red cheeks and angry eyes and ever so slightly glistening eyes.

“I mean, you just said yourself he’s a VIP contact, or whatever,” Jake continues, unable to stop the words falling out of his mouth. He can hear himself being bitter, petty, maybe even straight-up childish, but it’s been days of virtually no communication and he can feel it all spilling out in one go. “Why? Have you been talking to him?”

Amy sighs. Her eyes find another point in the room and seem to stay there for a second, before she’s back on her feet again moving over to her phone.

“First of all, Jake-” she says calmly, taking her phone down from where it’s charging- “he’s a VIP contact because he used to be my boyfriend. I guess I never turned it off. It’s the first message he’s sent in months, as you can see,” she says, holding up the screen displaying their conversation to Jake’s face, “and secondly, I think it’s pretty rich that you’re this mad.”

Instantly, the penny drops-

“You did see that text!” Jake almost laughs, incredulous. “I knew it.”

“You knew?!” Amy laughs exasperatedly. “Oh my god-”

“- I knew it. You’ve been acting weird all week!”

“I’ve been busy.”

“No, you’ve been bitter. I wish you’d have said something-”

“If you knew, you should have said something to me!” Her eyes burn into him. “I had just slept with you, I didn’t want to mess things up by bringing up something that was probably nothing.”

“That-” Jake finds himself replying too quickly, and slows himself down. “That… makes sense. I didn’t want to bring it up because it’s nothing, so… y’know…”

“If I hadn’t seen it then you’d be bringing it up for no reason at all. Right,” Amy agrees, an understanding exasperation clouding over her expression. “What was the text even about, anyway?”

“She’s this girl I met in a bar a few weeks ago. We talked, she invited me to sit with her friends, nothing happened.”

“Except for the taking her number part?”

“Yeah,” Jake admits. “I wasn’t in a great place, it was a couple days after we agreed not to sleep together again. I didn’t want to do anything with her. She knew that, I guess, but asked for my number. I never even got hers.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain. We’re adults,” Amy responds, mostly unconvincingly.

There’s a moment of quiet as they look at each other.

“I’m sorry for not talking to you,” Amy’s voice is quiet. “It’s difficult, sometimes… we’re both so exhausted and stressed that we can’t really date right now, but I do care about you.”

“I care about you too,” Jake says softly. “Sorry for being such a baby.”

Amy smiles, a little amused.

“It’s okay.”

“I was just jealous. I shouldn’t have acted like that.”

“… jealous?”

Amy’s got a kind of smirk on her lips. She draws her hand to her mouth, like she’s trying to stop herself.

“What? Are you laughing?” Jake smiles as he watches her.

“No! I just,” she sighs, leaning against her desk. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

Jake laughs.

“Amy, I’ve been jealous of everyone you’ve dated for a solid year and a half.”

She beams.

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious.”

For a moment they just smile at eachother, and Jake feels awake for the first time all week.

“For the record,” she adds- “I was mentally planning what I’d do if I ever met her. Y’know, if you two were dating.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mm. It mostly included alcohol and a lot of side-eye.”

“Huh. Amy Santiago likes me enough that she’d be deliberately impolite to somebody.”

She shrugs, smiling, watching him as he makes his excuses about getting their lunch from that place they both love down the street. Jake will admit it’s tiring: they’re between not talking at all, flirting, and having sex in a matter of a week. But having her look at him like that makes him feel like he’s in the room with his first crush all over again. When it’s good, it’s so good.

He couldn’t get over her in a thousand years.

***

Amy shivers a little in the cold of the night. She’s stood outside her apartment complex holding a cardboard box filled to the brim with an assortment of total junk. It needs to go. Call this spring-cleaning.

Unfortunately, Teddy is late.

Her eyes search the roads around her building, looking for his car. Nerves bubble within her. The relationship’s long dead, but after that text today she’s slightly worried about the kind of conversation he might try and start while he’s here. In her head she rehearses the lines she’s constructed to make this situation go by as swiftly as possible- it’s what’s best for both of us, please don’t contact me again, and the real kicker: I’m seeing someone else.

The words sound as strange in her mouth as they do in her head. Whatever it is that’s going on between her and Jake, it’s far from easy to define. As far as Amy can tell, they’re hanging in the balance somewhere between friends and lovers, and the mess of the case is limiting the communication they’re able to share. On top of that, they’re both perpetually tired, stressed, angry, and, apparently, still dealing with other people.

They’re not boyfriend and girlfriend. At the rate things are going, Amy can’t help but wonder if they’ll even make it that far- if the work becomes any more strenuous there’s a very real chance they’ll end up killing each other. Objectively, she knows they were stupid for hooking up in the first place. If they’d have waited until everything had blown over, maybe instead of all the complicated emotions currently on their side, it’d still just be a case of moderate sexual tension and teasing. There wouldn’t be entire days or weeks going by where she didn’t feel like they were friends anymore.

If they want to move forward they need to be ready as soon as it comes. And this, standing out here in the dark waiting for Teddy to come by and collect the very last of his things, is part of it. She wants to be prepared for him.

Eventually, the car she’s been waiting for comes around the corner and stops in front of her building.

Amy comes down the steps and moves towards the vehicle, which is when he opens his door. His face is steely, almost angry, the pained face of a man holding back his feelings. Some part of her senses that she’s about to hear about these feelings. In detail.

“Oh, no, it’s okay-” she stammers, in a futile attempt to stop him from leaving the car. “You don’t have to get out. I can just put these in the back.”

“We need to talk,” he says quickly. “Please.”

“Teddy.” She holds out the box, in some part just to create a necessary distance between them. “We’ve been broken up for four months. I think everything that needs to be said has been said. I’m sorry.”

“I can’t let you walk away.” He shakes his head as he says this. There’s real desperation in his eyes, Amy thinks, feeling a little guilty. “I’ve been thinking about you every single day.”

“Teddy-”

“Do you know what you mean to me, Amy?”

“I have an idea,” she mutters weakly. She’s used to this flair for the dramatic.

“You’re my future. I can’t picture my life without you in it. I’ll do whatever it takes to change, I’ll make it better than it was before-”

“You weren’t the problem, Teddy.” She breathes. “I mean… you weren’t not the problem, but I had my own issues to work through. I still do. And I’m super busy, I’m on the Clare case-”

“Which I’m so proud of, Ames-”

“- and I have feelings for somebody else.”

This stops him in his tracks.

“Who?”

“That’s not important-”

“- Amy, if this is actually goodbye…”

“It was goodbye four and a half months ago. This is me giving you your stuff back.” She looks down at the box in her hands. “Which you still haven’t taken out of my hands, by the way.”

“I have to kiss you one last time.”

Before she’s really got a chance to do anything, he’s pressing his lips against hers. Her eyes are wide open, and her first instinct is to push him off her. Unfortunately, her hands are a little full.

“Mm!” She objects against his mouth.

He pulls away, a sullen look on his face.

“You know where to find me,” he says sulkily, taking the box from her and pushing it into the passenger seat of his car.

“Sure.”

Part of her feels bad for being blunt. The other part feels like a chapter has been legitimately closed, and room’s been made for Jake. That part feels a hell of a lot better than the other one.

She stands and watches as his car pulls away from her building, her eyes following it until he’s out of sight.

The absence is a wonderful thing, if not just relaxing.

Right until she sees Jake standing across the street, looking at her with the most pain in his eyes she’s ever seen.

Maybe the exhaustion makes her feel worse, but she could swear things are coming crumbling down. Her stomach churns the second she sees him, plastic bag in hand- oh god, he brought takeout- and pure confusion in his eyes. She’s running across the street, not looking twice for traffic. She needs to explain-

“Jake-”

His name is leaving her lips over and over, because he’s walking away-

“It’s not what it looks like-” He’s not stopping. “Jake!”

He stops and turns to her. His face is eerily… blank. He just seems tired, she thinks, and she doesn’t blame him. It’s a misunderstanding, and she can fix it-

“I’m tired. I need to go home.”

“Are you gonna let me explain?” She can’t help it. She’s angry. It’s one catastrophe after another right now, and after the last ten minutes, she could really use just one of the men in her life listening to her.

“Amy… I don’t think you’re a liar.” He looks at her funnily, like he can’t find the right thing to say.

She tries to find the words to reply, but she can’t. What’s she supposed to say to that?

“So?” Is all she manages.

“I can’t deal with this. One second you’re not talking to me, the next we’re sleeping together…the next your ex-boyfriend is kissing you outside your apartment.”

“That’s not fair. I was giving him his stuff back.”

“You were right. About timing. This entire… attempt, at whatever our relationship is, has been a mess. I miss my friend. I love you, Amy” he says, like it’s nothing, and Amy’s heart drops- “but I miss things being simple.”

No matter who’s wrong or right, in any of this, the worst thing which Amy has to admit to herself is that she misses him too. Everything made sense, and now it’s in tatters. Every time they come close to fixing it, things only become worse. Her heart is swollen, a painful beating in the middle of her chest. He looks so sad, and it’s her fault.

“I miss it too.” Her voice is hoarse; talking hurts the lump in her throat, which is what makes her realise she might be about to cry.

“I want this,” he continues, his voice low, “but I want it in the right way.”

“Me too.”

And to think only minutes ago she was forcing herself not to mock Teddy for being overdramatic.

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

***

The next day is hell.

There’s word around the office that things aren’t moving quick enough, and the case is being considered for the FBI instead.

Amy can’t let it happen. She’s come too far, had too much credit stolen for her work, had almost her entire relationship with Jake destroyed. She needs a lead and she needs one now.

Of course, being able to find something without wildly damaging mental strain coming first would be far too easy, so when 7pm comes and they’ve made no progress other than reinvestigating Julian, Emilia, Angelica, and Oliver for the millionth time, as well as double-checking Daniel and Greta, Amy feels like she could just about sink into the ground.

“Alright, ding-dongs.”

Yes. She’s ready now. If the ground would like to open up, now would be the perfect time.

“Keith,” Jake responds monotonously. Pembroke grimaces at the use of his first name. Amy enjoys it for approximately .1 second.

“You’ll have heard about the FBI coming in to scoop up our case.”

“It’s happening?!” Amy can hear how panicked she sounds. She doesn’t care.

“Not yet. We’ve got until Sunday.”

“For what?” Jake asks. “Are we talkin’ Solve The Entire Case, or just some evidence, or what?”

“This may sound unfamiliar to the two of you, since you’re capable of finding one about once a month, but we need a lead,” Pembroke widens his eyes, clearly irritated. “This is getting embarrassing.”

“I’d say it’d be great if we had your help, but that’s obviously a lie.”

“Pleasure as always,” he replies, ignoring Jake’s comment, and like that he’s gone.

“I wonder what he does during the day.” Amy says sadly once he’s gone. “He’s getting paid to be a jackass.”

“So was I, until I got put on this case,” Jake jokes resentfully.

Amy smiles weakly. The night before still lingers in the air. Over and over and over in her head she hears him telling her he loves her, but it doesn’t matter. Neither of them seem quite sure where they stand.

“Do you want to work tonight?” She offers, although she’d enjoy virtually anything except this. It’s a peace offering.

“I’m actually grabbing a drink with Boyle.”

“That sounds nice.”

“You’re welcome to join, if you want-”

“No, no,” Amy insists. “I’m okay. I think I’m gonna stay here for a little while.”

“Are you sure? You’ve barely slept.”

There is no plausible explanation as to how he might know this. And yet he’s completely right. Must mean the bags under her eyes are more telling of the hours she spent awake after their exchange last night than she thought.

“Now I’ve got a deadline there’s no way I’ll be able to relax at home.”

Jake nods knowingly as slings his bag over his shoulder.

“Makes sense. I’ll see you in the morning.”

In her quiet, dim corner of the office, she watches him leave. Eventually, the sound of his steps disappears and she’s left only with the soft whirring of the heater in the corner of the room. Alone.

Keep going, Amy.

***

“I’m sorry, buddy. Sounds like you’re going through a lot. I just wish you’d have told me sooner"”

Charles looks at his best friend earnestly, patting him on the back, causing a small prang of guilt in Jake’s system. He wishes he’d told him sooner, too.

“I’ve missed you, bud.”

“It’s not the same at the precinct. Those two empty desks are heartbreaking. Now I really understand how Marius felt when he sang Empty Chairs at Empty Tables.”

“The awful, heart-breaking story of all his friends dying at the barricade wasn’t explanatory enough?” Jake asks. Charles shrugs.

“I still can’t believe you never told me you and Amy hooked up!” Charles grins. Jake gives him a pointed look. “I know, I know. Your relationship has become chaos as a result. But still! It’s the romance I’ve always dreamt of.”

“And you can’t tell anyone.”

“Not even Genevieve?”

That reply was too quick.

“You’ve already texted her about it under the table, haven’t you?”

“We share everything, Jake! My excitement is her excitement, quite literally-”

“Yes! Yes, you can tell Genevieve anything you want, as long as you stop talking right now.”

“Fine.”

"How're the others?"

Charles stops to think.

"Gina's exactly the same. Word has it she met someone, but obviously she won't tell us who."

"Sounds just like her."

"Rosa body-tackled a perp the other day, right in the middle of the precinct. I filmed it for you."

"Oh, man, you did?!" Jake feels a surge of love for his best friend. "Show me!"

"Sure! Oh," Charles opens his phone, dismayed. "I filmed it with the front-facing camera."

Sure enough, the video he brings up is a solid forty seconds of pure shock filtering in and out of his face. Jake's convinced it may be better than any other video he's ever seen.

For the first time this evening, there’s a pause in their conversation.

“I told Amy I loved her last night.”

The words sound strange out loud, real. Now he's told Charles, last night's incident exists outside of the bubble that is the case. The bubble where it's only he and Amy that exist.

Charles’s face lights up with glee.

“WHAT?!”

“I didn’t even… I didn’t mean it like that, y’know?”

“No, I don’t know. Continue. Explain,” Charles stares at him, continuing to sip at the straw of his diet coke like a teenage girl being fed the hottest gossip she’s ever heard.

The fact of it is that he’s scared. He always loves too quickly and too hard and, if he’s being honest with himself, he’s been doomed for since the day he met her. He’s surprised he lasted this long before letting the words spill- it’s just a shame they’re not actually in a relationship, or even really sure of what they are at all. Great timing, Jake.

“I try not to say it, usually, when I’m in a relationship.” He sighs. “I realised pretty quickly that I was normally saying it too soon.”

“Adorable. You’re the king of love itself,” Charles gushes, pressing a hand against his chest. Jake shoots him a stern look. “Sorry. Continue.”

“With Amy it is romantic, but it’s more like… I care about her like family. I have… loving feelings for her. It’s not the same as being in love with her.”

“Sure.” Charles rolls his eyes.

Jake glances at his phone, tipsy and finding his own words are confusing him. It’s almost midnight.

“I bet Amy’s still in the office.”

“She stayed behind?”

“Yeah. She’s putting herself under crazy pressure.”

He wonders if she’s achieved anything. If the office is as painfully quiet as he imagines it to be. If, god forbid, she’s fallen asleep at her desk.

“Hey, I’ve only had one drink. I’ll drive you back to the office.”

“What?” Jake looks at Charles oddly. “Why would you do that?”

“Because all you’ve talked about all evening is Amy, and you just casually told me that she’s alone at work late at night, then wistfully gazed off into space for a solid ten seconds.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to. C’mon.”

And like that, Charles is leading him outside and into the car, and he’s on his way back. The journey, under the lights of the city, makes Jake realise just how tired he is. They’re a while from home- they’ll have to come all the way from the offices back to Brooklyn. Poor Amy’s not even had a break.

The offices are eerie. Half the lights are off, and the entire place is silent.

When he enters their office, he’s actually relatively relieved to see Amy passed out at her desk. Something about the office is telling him he would have found it even creepier if she was able to work in an environment like this.

“Ames?” He knocks gently on the door, standing in its frame. He doesn’t want to alarm her.

She stirs for a moment, her breathing becoming momentarily stronger, out of pace.

“Ames, wake up.”

After a moment she lifts her head, slowly at first.

“What time is it?” You can hear the exhaustion in her voice, now reduced to a croak.

“Gone midnight. C’mon, we’ll get a cab.”

“I’ll just sleep here,” Amy murmurs, but he knows she doesn’t really mean it. She might be obsessive over her work, but she hates not having a fresh pantsuit in the morning, and he knows for a fact she’s used the spare clothes she’s been keeping here. “I’ve made progress.”

“Nope. C’mon. You can tell me all about it on the way back. Or even sleep.” He’s closer now, shaking gently at her arm.

She lifts her head, looking up at him with dark, slightly reddened eyes, half-asleep. She looks beautiful, even with the small patch of hair she’s been leaning on which is now an upwards-facing scruff of bed hair. Desk hair, if you will.

“Fine. Better be a comfy-ass cab.”

He laughs lowly at this, only too aware of how ready she is to pass out. It’d be irresponsible to send her home by herself- not because she couldn’t handle herself, not in any scenario, Jake thinks- but purely because she deserves a nap.

Luckily, it doesn’t take too long to get a taxi. Admittedly, at first, the driver seems a little wary of what Jake can only assume from an outsider’s perspective appears to be a vulnerable woman passed out in the arms of a man trying to take her home.

The drive back to hers feels like a decade. Jake doesn’t mind. He savours each second, especially when she passes out on his shoulder. The radio is playing softly in the front of the car, some late-night dance station. She’s warm against him, and occasionally the scent of her hair floats upwards. He can’t get over how beautiful she looks, and so he spends the journey memorizing each detail of her face. Freckles, eyelashes, eyebrows, the cupid’s bow of her lips.

He’s beyond exhaustion. After last night’s exchange he obviously couldn’t sleep, and the worst part is that he knows it’s his fault. If he’d just been understanding maybe they could have talked it through again. But, frankly, he doesn’t regret saying the things he did. He cares about her, maybe more than anything, but while the last two months have been exciting, scary, and new, they’ve also been some of the most stressful he’s ever known. He wants her, but not with the way things are right now. She deserves better than him in this state.

She hums against his chest, and, for some reason, this is the moment at which he realises he's never, ever, felt like this about somebody. She amazes him, in every possible way, but on top of all of this, she frightens him. Amy is everything he could possibly want or need and he doesn't have the room to mess a single thing up. Maybe he already has.

Miraculously, Jake succeeds in staying awake until they reach her apartment. He can’t help but feel a little guilty as he wakes her, talking softly to her until she stirs again.

Amy doesn’t let go of him as they walk up the steps into her building, or even when they’re in the elevator on the way up. She’s not clinging, not by any means- rather, he keeps an arm over her shoulder, and, gently, she holds up her hand so she can hold his. It’s intimate, obviously, and all Jake can think of is helping her into bed and climbing in next to her, falling asleep beside her. But there’s an understanding between them, and he knows it as well as she does. If he kisses her now, he makes everything awkward and weird again for a couple of days.

Maybe this is the perfect balance, he thinks. Just being able to hold each other, let the other know they’re there. No talking. No sex. No complications. Just caring for each other when it matters the most. Maybe.

“Stay here. The blanket’s already on the couch,” she says firmly once they’re inside. He knows there’s no point in arguing, especially since it’s nearing 2 in the morning, and more practically speaking he lives a solid 15 minutes away and right now he feels like he could pass out on the spot. “I’ll get you a pillow,” she adds, wandering off towards her bedroom.

After a minute she reappears in the living area with one of her pillows, throwing it onto the couch.

“Night, Jake.”

She stands in front of him for a second, smiling tiredly, but then, out of nowhere, he finds himself being pulled into a hug. Her arms are thrown around his neck, and for a moment she’s just breathing into him. Jake takes this as permission to do the same, pulling her in, closing his eyes against the top of her head as the fatigue threatens to take him to sleep a few minutes too early. He could swear she fits into him, against him, perfectly. She's made to be there. Hours of work haven't affected the softness of her skin, or the gentle waft of her perfume, and for a moment he wishes he could fall asleep here, in her arms.

The words she says next, muffled against his chest, are little more than a whisper; if he’d been even breathing a little louder he might have missed them. Missed her. But it’s certain, and even when she pulls away and ambles slowly away to her bedroom, it echoes throughout the room. Throughout the city. The most spectacular four words Jake’s ever heard.

“I love you too.”

#hiiiiiiiiiii #sorry this took ages #again #u kno me #only motivated once in a century #I'm tryin okay #my writing #ymkm

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dcarsi-95 · 4 years

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Karate Krane

After quite a while of procrastination, how about I start with a project I’ve been meaning to get out there for a while? This one I named Karate Krane originally started out as a written novel, but as I began making illustrated pictures on what some of the characters look like, I later decided that they’d look a lot better in a comic of some sort — it was also supposed to be a single story, but I’ve lately been leaning towards making it a series instead.

The story owes it origin to a Kung Fu Panda fanfic I found some years ago called Within Her Grasp (the first second chapter should give ya’ll the gist of my story’s inspiration). With Tigress in said fanfic believing that “winged balls of feathers on stilts [aren’t] the stuff Kung Fu Masters [are] made of”, I couldn’t help but imagine Tigress and Crane in a similar situation as this moment here between Master Shifu and Po in the first movie, with Tigress shaming Crane on how scrawny he is where Shifu shames Po on how overweight he is; it was there that I thought it would make an amusing story to have a crane placed under the guidance of tiger martial arts master (much to the tiger’s chagrin) by said tiger’s master.

In a way, it started out pretty similar to the first Kung Fu Panda movie (I even had the idea that there might’ve been an antagonist similar in some ways to Tai Lung), except instead of Kung Fu, the crane was learning karate, and instead of taking place in ancient China it was to take place in a more modern time like the 1970s, though I’ve lately been considering making the timeframe even more modern for reasons I will delve into later.

The crane in my story is Chris Junichiro Kato, who is mostly whooping crane but has a heritage originating in Japan.

He’s, in reality, not as confident as he’s depicted in this here pic, at least, not at first. He’s actually quite timid and not the most assertive and even has a bit of a geeky side. In the story, he ends up applying or getting applied to some hardcore, heavy-duty martial arts academy, where most everyone is pretty muscular, which is why few of them see Chris as cut-out for it since he is so skinny, but he’s later able to make up for his lack of thew with his amazing reflexes. Not sure exactly how he ends up in this academy; probably either encouraged by friends and/or family who take notice of his remarkable reflexes or is assigned to a teacher there by another teacher who perceptive enough to see Chris’ potential, or is taken into the guidance of his assigned teacher under the request of said teacher’s daughter, who also sees Chris’ potential — I thought it would be a bit too much like Kung Fu Panda if it was because he was some prophesied “chosen one” destined to combat some former student who’s aiming to take revenge for some wrong done unto them like in the case of Tai Lung.

His teacher, of course, is a white tigress whom I’d originally named Master Hung Ga (because some sketchy research I did years ago on Chinese martial arts made some association with the tiger in a certain martial art by that name), although if she is teaches karate, I might want to make her of a more Japanese background, since karate is Japanese and the name Hung Ga is more Chinese in origin — I dunno, really… *shrugs* Although I’ve lately come to imagine her being Russian; I can easily picture her with a thick slavic accent.

Then there’s her daughter Michelle, a classmate of Chris’ on whom he has a crush on.

(Yeah, I know; she’s an orange tiger, whilst her mom is a white tiger, but y’know, her dad might’ve been orange as well) Originally, I pictured her being initially like how Astrid was to Hiccup in the first How to Train Your Dragon movie towards Chris, though not as cold and unattached and—at times—downright mean, more like pompously dismissing him in a typical high school popular girl kind of way. Lately, however, I’ve come to envision her more being a lot nicer to Chris, always willing to stand up for him when he’s unable to do so himself, and even encouraging him to do things most others would doubt he has the competence for (much like how Mei-Ling encouraged Crane to volunteer for the Lee Da Kung Fu Academy), and supporting him all the way. Personality-wise, she can be a tough cookie who isn’t afraid to speak her mind, and while she does show some interest in girly things from time to time, she also has a tomboyish side, and even takes interest in things that would conversely gross Chris out; they sort of fall into the “Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy” trope that way — I’ve even imagined her trying to teach Chris how to spit, much like in that scene from Titanic! XD

She’s also got a number a friends including a snow leopardess, a kangaroo and a doberman pinscher, but those—along with Chris’ friends—are more minor characters that I’ll cover in future posts, though I do imagine the snow leopardess (I believe I named her Amy) also has a pretty nice personality and is also willing to lend support.

A couple of other characters I’ve recently thrown into this mix include an earthly manifestation of God in the form of a tricolored tetrahedron who goes by the name of Joe (for Jehovah, which, if I’m not mistaken, is an alternative to Yahweh) and a conical, bluish-purple/purplish-blue manifestation of the closest thing to the Devil (although I’m not sure he truly is the Devil) who probably goes by the name of either Stan (for Satan) or Lucie (for Lucifer). Again, I’m not sure he’s really the Devil or if him and Joe are just two manifestations of the two side of God’s nature (in the universe this story takes place in, I guess God has two natures: one’s more firmly adherent to what is absolutely moral, and the other isn’t afraid to bend the rules a little), two sides of the same coin.

Originally, it was going to be just Joe, who hangs around Chris, as well as other characters, as sort of a conscience and life coach, but I later decided to add Stan/Lucie (can’t quite decide which name) so that the two of them would be like Chris’ shoulder angel/devil duo, where Joe—though not all preachy and all that—advises Chris to “do the right thing” and gives advice with chiefly altruistic implications, whilst Stan/Lucie tries to tempt Chris to pursue somewhat more self-centered gratifications that may or may not slightly deviate from what is completely moral, and whilst the two of them do often butt heads with each other when it comes to guiding Chris’ actions they do sometimes call truces and work together — ultimately, while they usually don’t agree on how to do it, they both have Chris’ best interests at heart.

I designed Joe as a tricolored tetrahedron or three-sided pyramid as sort of a reference to the Holy Trinity, with his white fourth face symbolizing a unity between all three aspects of said Trinity, but also because his more angular shape symbolizes his strict adherence to the moral code, to do things “fair and square”, in contrast to Stan/Lucie, who of course is of a conical shape, and thus more circular in cross section, and tends to be more deviant. Of course, not wanting to be religion-specific, I do aim to make symbolic references to other religions to make Joe seem more unitarian, like I might have him and Stan/Lucie come together (if they really are but two sides of the same coin) and form a star of David, and sometimes even a yin-yang taijitu in reference to Taoism.

Although my story originally lends a lot of inspiration from KFP and was set in the 70s, lately, as I’d been also pondering on the depiction of his daily life of regular teenage pursuits, and as I listened to songs like Hey Mickey, Mony Mony, Another One Bites the Dust, Addicted to Love, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, and all other sorts of songs from the album Rhino Instant Party Disc: Regular Strength (for those who don’t own the album, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is not included) as well as a number of more recent pop songs, I’d come to consider maybe pushing the story’s timeframe to a more recent date like the 80s or 90s, maybe even the 21st century, and that maybe instead of being about Chris’ struggles and trials in karate training, maybe it should instead focus more on his daily life in high school. There might still be a side plot in which Chris tries out some sort of activity in which physical strength is a standard, but instead of martial arts it might be something like rugby football (even though Chris is really not much of a sports kind of guy) because Michelle is involved in such a team herself, or maybe the school has a gym that includes a kick-boxing program, or maybe it also includes a karate program — whichever way, I think this story is going to focus a bit more on Chris’ teen life and a tad less on whatever physical he gets involved in, but I still think the latter’s still going to have some significant role in it. I dunno, I’ve run it all by my mom and she seemed to agree that this was a good change in direction, and we both agreed that the original storyline was a bit of a ripoff of KFP, but what do you guys think?

Do you like the changes I’ve made so far? Are you more in favor with the original storyline and think I’ve given it a sufficiently original twist? Do you like the characters I’ve shown so far? Have any ideas of your own that you’d like to add? What are your thoughts on it all? Please share your opinions with me, as I’d love to hear them. Thank you.

#karate krane #chris kato #michelle #master hung ga #joe #stan/lucie #karate #martial arts #story #comic #cartoon #anthro #animals

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