#5 will be hardest to write because it involves a lot of. well. the finale of Dragon Age 2 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caramelcoffeeaddict · 7 months

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Weekend WIP - Ask Game

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more).

I was tagged by @bitbybitwrites. thank you for tagging me!! I don't post fics until they are complete, so unless I've mentioned the story on my blog, some of these answers are not going to make sense to anyone but me, LOL. also, I try to only work on one WIP at a time, but I do have a few partially started/outlined stories sitting in my drafts folder on my hard drive, and I guess they are technically WIPs even if I'm not actively working on them, so here goes nothing...

1. WIP List:

Andy Hummel's Last Will And Testament

Breaking Stereotypes

I Taste The Truth

You And Me And The Beat

The Escape Plan

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?:

Breaking Stereotypes is currently just over 55k words, so definitely that one ;)

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?:

Probably Breaking Stereotypes?

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?:

Currently, I'm only focusing on Breaking Stereotypes, and I'm really looking forward to finishing it and getting it published.

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?:

I Taste The Truth is a pretty intimidating story to write. Which probably explains why I haven't even looked at in a few years. why? because it involves a lot of world building since Kurt is part-Fae in that fic, and I want to make sure I can explain things properly without info-dumping, but also make sure that I'm not leaving out important info that lives in my head but a reader might need extra context for.

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?:

again, I Taste The Truth. for all the same reasons that I explained above.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?:

none of them? I've only ever had a beta read a fic if the story was written for a challenge where a beta was a requirement of the challenge.

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?:

all of them!! that's why their WIPs, LOL. Breaking Stereotypes was fic I started in 2017. I think I put it on official hiatus in 2019, and have only really done minor edits here-and-there until this year when I finally figured out what direction to take the story.

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?"

as of right now, Breaking Stereotypes is the only story with an OC. Her name is Candice. She is the manager of Blaine's band as well as Trent's girlfriend (Trent is bi in my fic). She's a smart and snarky, and she takes her job very seriously.

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?:

I don't have a lot written for it yet, but my guess is that You And Me And The Beat will be the sexiest ;)

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?:

I honestly don't know. Andy Hummel's Last Will And Testament, maybe?

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?:

all of them? again, I don't know. I think my characterization is about equal across all my stories? I could be wrong though.

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?:

You And Me And The Beat? maybe?

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?:

Definitely Breaking Stereotypes.

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?:

I don't put expectations on my fics. not the way this question implies anyway. the only expectations I have are things like "I expect this to have 20 chapters" or "I expect this to be around 20k words" or "I expect to complete this story by next week". I don't expect anything else from them. I really am that annoying person that writes stories strictly for my own enjoyment because these stories are in my head and I want to get them on paper so I can read them. even though I complain about it, the creative process of bringing these stories to life is the best part of writing fic. I just share the completed stories with the fandom for fun, because I figure there might be other people out there that will enjoy it as much as me. if not, no worries. it made me happy, and that's all that matters.

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?:

daydream? yes. I think about all of them often. usually just the one that is my main focus of the moment, but sometimes one of the others likes to remind me it still exists, and tries to command my attention ;) however, I don't usually have dreams about my WIPs. (I have occasionally gotten an idea for a story/WIP because of a dream though)

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?:

I Taste The Truth has that element of including Fae attributes and otherworldly components, which makes it different from my other WIP stories.

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?:

The Escape Plan is a fun and silly fic.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?:

nope. sorry.

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.:

I honestly can't remember what I have or have not shared about each of these fics, so I don't know what you don't know. but if you have questions you can always feel free to send me an ask! I love talking about my fics with people.

#i was tagged #writer ask meme #kiwi's writing #long post

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hypnostheory · 7 months

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WIP Weekend Tag Game

I got tagged by @kiwiana-writes , @gayflyboy, and @happiness-of-the-pursuit .

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more). (If you're an artist or other non-fic fandom creator, questions can be found here!)

1. WIP List:

Okay so let’s put realistic WIP here (these are not in any particular order)

you don’t want to know me (needs a final chapter)

fell apart (in the usual way) - Bodyguard!Alex pt. 2

in a faith forgotten land (surprise)

secret moments in a crowded room (ThreesGiving)

sit there in this hurt (another surprise)

Whatever the piercer part 3 is going to be called

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

So you don’t want to know me is the only chapter fic of the bunch, so by default??? However, in a faith forgotten land is probably going to be a long one, and sit here in this hurt might end up being a two-parter.

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

Same as the previous answer, it’s absolutely you don’t know me but I’m probably going to be most surprised by in a faith forgotten land or sit here in this hurt.

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

I’m really enjoying secret moments in a crowded room because it’s funny, but I also like the blocking of fell apart (in the usual way).

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

Definitely you don’t know me, just because it’s the follow up to my most popular work and a lot of people have opinions on it.

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

I stare at the outline of in a faith forgotten land every day. It’s very ambitious (read: overly complicated).

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

Everything I read goes through my partner. They check my dialogue and fact check, and they’re also good at fixing areas I’m stuck on.

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

Name one that ain’t.

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

Don’t really do OCs, I try to traffic in cannon characters and only use an OC if I have to. Alex has a pretty fun secretary for in a faith forgotten land, but that’s about it.

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

That’s like asking which clown drives the car, they’re all porn lol. I personally like all the shit happening in fell apart because Bodyguard!Alex is just inherently hot but secret moments is gonna have some spice.

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

Either you don’t want to know me or sit there in this hurt.

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

Secret moments, but my partner says piercer part three.

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

Probably secret moments, but I do like the scene setting for in a faith forgotten land.

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

Research wise, it’s you don’t want to know me or faith forgotten. Writing wise, probably fell apart because I’ve been picking at it for weeks.

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

Well you don’t want to know me has to close out the series, so that’s pretty high. I think secret moments is going to be great, it’s really building on a character that doesn’t get a lot of love. And my partner will riot if piercer part three isn’t good lol.

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

That would imply I sleep.

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

So like, writing chronic pain is very complex and the emotions involved are also very hard, which makes you don’t know me difficult. It’s also intensely autobiographical, so there’s a lot of layers. (Which is why updating it has taken so long, sorry lol)

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

Absolutely secret moments, that’s half a comedy and half a smut fic.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

you don’t want to know me had one from June. There’s going to be a deep dive in secret moments on a side character. I think it’s interesting to go outside the main ship, especially for minor characters. I’m a background bitch stan.

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

Hmm I blab constantly but in secret moments I’m basing a characters personality on Elliot from Chambers, so there’s that.

I’m not going to be tagging as many people as I have WIPs because I have a lot, but I can for sure tag @futureseaempress and @affectionatelyrs 💖

#firstprince #red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #hyp writes

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ahmedmootaz · 26 days

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Would you like to play a Q and A game?

Out of all the chapters in Adventures in Parenthood! fanfic of yours, which was the:

1. Hardest to write and/or taking the most amount of time to write chapter vs easiest to write and/or taking the least amount of time to write chapter

3. Most fun and exciting to write chapter vs most frustrating and uncooperative to write chapter

4. Required the most planning, research and drafting to write chapter vs the most spontaneous, free flowing and struck by inspiration type of chapter

5. Longest vs shortest chapters (counting the chapters that were supposed to be one chapter but got too long and broken up because of AO3's word limit as one chapter)

Dear Anonymous,

Why, yes! I would in fact, like to play a Q&A game, thank you very much! I do like these sorts of Q&A asks, so allow me to thank you in advance!

Also, obligatory SPOILERS! for Adventures in Parenthood, in case anyone would like to read it spoiler-free!

Honestly, the easiest Chapters to write were the Chapters from 17 through 23. Those were the Chapters I first envisioned when I began writing the storyboard for AiP, and so finally getting to them made them very easy to write, as there wasn't a point where I needed to think of what came next; it all happened very naturally. As for the hardest Chapters the write, they have to be the Epilogues. As the Epilogues are at the very end of AiP, they have to be conclusive. They have to answer every question and leave no loose ends...at least, that's what I personally believe. One of the things that (sometimes) frustrates me with PM is the loose ends they leave, and while I get that (sometimes) it's intentional on their end, I don't want to have that happen with AiP, so I'm trying to be as thorough as possible...not to mention the Epilogues just happened to be written at a time when I'm pressed with lots of work and exams and such. It's part of why they take so much time to publish, not to mention it always feels like something happens in real life when I start getting into the swing of things while writing.

3. Again, I think the title for the most fun Chapter has to go to the Sweeper Saga. There was plenty of action, drama, and fluff, so it was diverse and plentiful, although a close second would be the Karaoke Chaos one, and I think the answer is quite self explanatory. The most fun part about it, however, was how it made a lot of people drop their guards and thus get doubly blindsided by the Chapters that followed, hehehe. As for the most frustrating or uncooperative Chapters...I want to say that all of them have been pretty cooperative, but for some reason the Epilogues just drag on and on and on...I wanted to release two Epilogues last summer, but as you can see, that just didn't happen. I suppose the most frustrating thing is that the circumstances that surround me when writing the Epilogues just aren't that conductive to writing quickly, ahaha.

4. Hmm...This is a good question. I think, from a research point of view, I needed a lot of research for When Fathers Cry and for Fathers Scorned as well, simply because I needed to know how much chlorine and blood loss a human can take to write some of the more...violent scenes there are. I think I needed to research some anatomy for Crimson Tears as well for obvious reasons, and I really needed to watch and rewatch Binah cutscenes for hours so I can try to get a grasp on a childish version of her and the actions she'd take in Arbitrary Emotions.

But the simples Chapter that I wrote in pretty much a day was Old Promises, Same Idiocy. It was completed really quickly and it was a simple prompt I wrote for a very dear friend at first before we realised it fit better as a Chapter in AiP to involve the A3 again. So it was quite spontaneous in both how it was written and how it was inserted.

5. Longest Chapter so far is Epilogue I at around 134,650 words, while the shortest is Old Promises, Same Idiocy; I think it was around 10-14K words. Something along those lines.

Thank you for the fun Q&A, Anon! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #ask #my writing #ayin #manager x #angela #roland #adventures in parenthood

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chocomd · 1 year

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💖, 🏅, 🌝, and 💋[what was the hardest part about writing Without Water?] for the fanfic ask game 😌

Thanks for the ask, northern!

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

Um. Hmm. The dialogue? I love writing dialogue and characters interacting with each other. For the most part I think I manage to make it IC and engaging.

🏅 What is something you recently felt proud of in regard to your writing (finished a fic, actually planned for once, etc).

Probably writing and finishing my Kataang break up/make up fic, Drag You Down. It is really freaking long with many chapters, and it has a lot of moving parts but I think I managed to tie them together pretty well. It was a pretty ambitious undertaking, since I've never written anything this long or this involved before.

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

Answered here, but another character I would like to write is Zuko. He's in a few of my Kataang fics, but only as a side character. I've been rewatching ATLA for the third time (although I've paused for a bit) and I'm finally paying attention to his character lol. But I have a few ideas for him that I think would be interesting to write.

💋 what was the hardest part about writing Without Water?

Probably how emotionally heavy it was, because it goes into detail about how Katara struggled with healing Aang between Book 2 and Book 3 and almost lost all hope. Because of that, it took longer to write each scene than usual. Oh and also it was the first 5+1 I ever wrote and I didn't realize how long 5+1 fics could end up being 💀

Fanfic Ask Game (the movie, the sequel)

#ask game #ask game answer #northerngoshawk #chocomd answers

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aberooski · 1 year

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fanfic asks: 22, 30, 49 💫

Oh yay! Thank you for the asks! 💜

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

This is an interesting one because honestly I don't have any specific point in the process where it happens. Titles just kinda find their way to me whenever they want. Sometimes I'm struck with inspiration early on in the writing process or even before I even come up with an idea, but I like the title so much I have to come up with a fic for it, or I'll have a fic completed and be struggling and fighting tooth and nail with my brain to come up with something to call it 🤭 let me pull a few quick examples from my pantheon!

Once Upon A Duelist, that one came super easily to me. Of course that fic being a Sleeping Beauty au, having the play on Once Upon A Dream was pretty simple to think of but I digress, it was an easy one to title.

Sons of The Stars on the other hand, that one I was ruminating and formulating titles for throughout the whole process and getting nowhere for the longest time. Angel's Tears was like that too when I wrote it back in the day. (Tbh in the market for a new title for that one, I used to love it but recently I've liked it a lot less)

And my Final Fantasy XV fic What Goes In. That one was super easy because I took it from a line of dialog that Gladio has in one of the cutscenes that was actually written into the fic.

And Sustained by Hate is the title of a song from Final Fantasy XIII and well the cutscene it plays in in the game is the scene involves a child trying to murder a man because he blames him for his mother's death, so 😬 but the title was very relevant because the only thing keeping Camula's soul together and keeping her from being assimilated into oblivion was her hatred of Jaden and desire for revenge, so she was quite literally sustained by hate. I actually borrowed or was inspired by a lot of titles from that game's songs and story chapters for the chapters in the fic too aksksk

I take a lot of inspiration from songs for both fic titles and chapter titles, ever since I was a kid writing shitty fics in actual physical journals. But I also sometimes just try to think of something relevant from my own brain aksksk

So yeah they just kinda find me whenever they want to, I don't really have any specific point in time where I come up with titles. But that honestly can be the hardest part of the entire process for me if they don't come to me early on in the process.

30. How much do you edit your fics? Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

This one's easy actually, I usually wait until the end and go back and do it all at once. Mostly because just about every fic I've written in the last like 5 years has been for the YGOBB so I've been writing on a time crunch for a long time and I'm a slow writer so I never had the time to spend editing as I go. I'd wait until the rough draft was done and turned in and then go back and edit after.

Now I've been going back and even editing and revising those fics again because honestly I don't think I did a very good job the first time. But I'm less horrified when I read my old fics now so that's good 😭

I do find myself going back and editing as I go more now than I used to, especially since I'm stepping back from YGOBB this year and taking a break from that. Love the event, but I think all my fics have suffered from the time crunch and I always burn out having to push myself to pump out my fics so yeah need that break.

But generally I do write a fic all the way out before I'll start editing so I can focus on one thing at a time. Get the foundation first and then build upon it. 👍

49. What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

Oh boy this one's actually a very hard question for me 😅

When I think about it I'm kinda tempted to say Sustained by Hate (abby's version)(from the vault)

It's a multi chapter fic which is my forte, it's in universe which I don't often do in my long fics, the concept is entirely plausible with Camula being brought back and wanting revenge for her defeat, it works in a lot of my little touches and portrayals of the characters

Dad Crowler, Hassleberry’s leg being an issue for him a lot, Alexis being protective of Atticus like to the max, Jaden going out of his way to try and protect the squad but specifically Sy, Bastion playing the role of team mom, Chazz and Atty's relationship period, and you even get some of my quirks and inner workings of my mind with Mrs. Rhodes and Mrs. Princeton hanging out on the sidelines

Also the blatant, very thinly veiled Little Mermaid reference of a plotline..... I mean c'mon the chapter is literally called Poor, Unfortunate Soul 😭

I also actually wrote a duel and that was really hard and I'm very proud of myself and everyone should be impressed 😭

Anyways that one is very me, there's so much in that fic that's very authentic to me and I think it's probably the best intro to me and my writing in terms of the long fics.

One shots, Salt In The Wound. No question. Maybe when I go back and edit that one A Friend In Need would be good too, and Traffic Lights is pretty good but again SITW is so authentically me as a Syrus stan/kin who has major beef with Zane.

I'd love to say OUAD, you know I would. But that's my magnum opus man, if that's your introduction you've set the bar pretty damn high 😭

And Sons of The Stars, as much as I demand everyone in the universe read it because I worked harder on that fic than anything I've ever written in my life, that is NOT a starter fic. It's 136k. And a whole ass built from the ground up au. And honestly draws on a lot of stuff in season 3 and there's a couple subtle nods to other works in it so it's not a starter at all. That's one to read after you've read a couple aksksk

So yeah, if you want a quality starter fic, Sustained by Hate is probably the way to go I think.

Angel's Tears or What Goes In wouldn’t be bad either if you wanted to see the progression of my work from high school to now. Even with the revisions I've done to both of those fics in the last couple months, in my opinion you can still tell I originally wrote them when I was like 18 years old.

But I legitimately think Sustained by Hate and Salt In The Wound would probably the best options depending on which length of fics you like to read.

Thanks again for the asks, these are so fun!!

☆ Abby ☆

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snipsnsnailsnwerewolftales · 3 years

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Trial and Error (Derek x Reader)

A/N: This has been something living in my brain for a while, and I decided to get it out, along with 5 prompts.

I do not own Teen Wolf or it’s characters. Sadly.

Thank you to @xteenwolfwritingsx and @mymonandsymon for looking this over for me!

Warnings: Some language. As close to smut as I write, (If you squint.) Mostly just fluff, though.

Word count: 1,646

Anon said: “"I'd kill you on the spot if you weren't so nice to look at. Because, full offence, your personality needs a lot of work."”

Anon said: “Can you do 93 & 99 w/ derek hale pls :) thank you!”

(93. “Forget it. You fucking suck.”

99. “Don’t be an asshole. Asshole.”)

Anon said: “Hello! I was wondering if you would be willing to do numbers 8 and 101 with Derek Hale from the the most recent list you have posted? If not it’s okay, thank you ❤️”

(8. “You didn’t just wake me up at 2am because you were ‘in the mood’.”

101. “You got a cute butt.”)

Xxx

You’d barely made it into the loft before you were pinned up against the far wall, Derek holding your hands up on either side of your head at the wrists, his grip much tighter than it should be, but not as much as it could be.

“I thought I told you to stay on your side of the city,” he hissed out, face inches from yours, eyes glowing red, and a low growl rumbling in his chest.

His eyebrows knit in confusion at your smirk, his body pressing against yours as you made a halfhearted effort to push you both off the wall.

Rolling your eyes, you let out a breathy chuckle, which only made him cock one eyebrow up in either amusement or disbelief, you weren’t sure.

“What the hell is so funny?” He asked, both his tone and his weight easing up a bit.

His mistake.

“Oh, nothing,” you mused, looking up and away from him for a few seconds before flipping you both around, holding him pinned against the wall in the same position, your own eyes glowing their bright red as he let out an annoyed snarl. “Just thinking about how things can change in an instant….”

The breath was knocked out of you as you once again were pinned to the wall, this time his weight almost fully against you to keep you still. “What do you want?” He ground out through clenched teeth.

You couldn’t help thinking that the two of you would have been great friends if it weren’t for both of you being Alpha’s. Pack rivalry and whatnot overriding much of any chance at getting any closer than you were now, which given your position physically, was actually pretty damn close.

Baby steps.

“I have an idea,” you began after letting out a huff. Resigned to being stuck against the wall, you relaxed a bit, deciding to try and placate the Big Bad Sourwolf instead of poking him with a metaphorical stick, no matter how fun the latter was. “It would save both of our packs a lot of hassle, and probably save some innocent lives, too, come to think of it-”

“No,” he said firmly, his hold relaxing just a bit.

You looked at him in shock. “You haven’t even heard-”

“I said no!” His voice just as firm as before, he pushed off the wall for emphasis, your body relaxing just slightly, and you rubbed your wrists, despite the fact they were already pretty much healed.

“I’m just trying to be a good leader, Derek, offering you peace and my help for both our sakes and our packs, but because of whatever vendetta you have for me, you’re not willing to listen. Well, you know what? Forget it. You fucking suck.”

Stalking toward the loft door, Derek grabbed your elbow firmly and lightly tugged you to face him, making you roll your eyes again. “What, Hale?”

“I know. Look, I’m sorry. I really don’t know what it is I don’t like about you, I just don’t.”

“Gee, thanks,” you mumbled, looking down at your feet as you fiddled them absently.

Grabbing your shoulders to make you stand still again, you straightened your back and looked him in the eye. It wasn’t the gesture that caught your attention, but the gentleness in it. A new side of Derek Hale had just showed itself, a side you always thought was there, but never got to see, except when he was interacting with his pack.

Very small baby steps.

“But,” he continued pointedly, “I’m willing to put that all aside to listen, for our packs and everyone involved.”

“You’ll really hear me out?” You hated how small your voice sounded.

“I’ll try my hardest.” He smiled a real, genuine smile, and you felt some of the ice crack between you two.

You returned the grin with a small one of your own, before finally saying, “Don’t be an asshole. Asshole.”

Derek laughed, and let go of your shoulders, walking back into the loft, and after a few seconds, you followed him. Looking over his shoulder, he smirked and said, “I’m just trying to be nice.”

You scoffed, then let out a chuckle. "I'd kill you on the spot if you weren't so nice to look at. Because, full offense, your personality needs a lot of work."

Sitting on the couch, he spread his arm out in gesture to the open spot beside him, his own smirk still firmly in place. “So I’ve been told.”

Xxx

Waking up to the wee hours of the morning and a silent loft, you looked around bleary eyed. Once you realized where you were, and who was with you, your eyes went wide.

Laying on the far end of the couch, his legs tangling with yours in the middle at some point while you were both asleep, was Derek, head propped up on the arm of the couch, mouth wide open as a snore escaped him.

You couldn’t contain the giggle from the completely uncharacteristic image of the big bad Hale Alpha, and turned into the couch cushion to smother the sound.

It was only a second later you looked back, but you still jumped as now Derek was looking at you with one eye barely cracked open, his mouth closed in a tight line, but his eyebrow raised in what you now understood was amusement.

Lightly swatting his leg with your own, he said a mock “ow”, but neither of you untangled your legs.

Propping your elbows on the arm of the couch behind you, you glared at him. “Don’t scare me like that!”

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s not polite to stare?”

You swatted at his legs again, and he did the same, both of you grinning lightly.

“Did the alarm go off or something?” He lazily looked to a box on the wall that must have been some sort of baddie alarm, his hand going to the back of his neck to scratch sleepily. Contented with what he saw, he looked back at you, stilling, hand still on his neck. “What?”

“Why do you assume I woke you on purpose? Why would I put myself in a position to endure even more of your company than I have already had today, which, by the way, is I think more than we have had at once ever?”

He grinned. “You didn’t just wake me up at 2am because you were ‘in the mood’.”

You shrugged, smirking right back at him. “You got a cute butt.”

“Why, thank you,” he said cheekily, his grin doing the same.

Batting his legs again lightly, you heard him mutter, “Okay, that’s it,” and you suddenly found yourself pulled toward him, until you were basically straddling him, your wrists once again tightly held in his hands.

“Stop doing that.” His voice was firm, but soft. His eyes searched your face, but for what, you didn’t know.

Digging your knees into his rib cage, just as some sort of retaliation, he groaned softly at the pressure. You leaned down close to his face and whispered, “Make me.”

Suddenly faster than you could blink, your positions had been flipped, him now straddling you, holding you down. “Okay.”

Trying to fight back, you quickly gave up, huffing, much like earlier in the day, looking up at him with a less than enthusiastic look.

Searching your face again with his eyes, he finally landed on your gaze with knit eyebrows.

Raising yours in question, he let go of your wrists, but you left them beside your head, and he sat back on his haunches, your legs still under him.

“I’m trying to figure out what it is about you that drives me so crazy.”

“I have that effect on lots of people,” you said smugly. “I’m awesome like that.”

“That! That’s it.” He pointed at you, and you sat up, elbows once again on the arm of the couch, eyebrows once again raised in confusion. “Yeah, you drive me crazy, but I’m starting to think it’s not because we hate each other or annoy each other-”

“Are you sure? Because you’re kinda driving me insane just a little bit right now-”

He leaned back over you on your perch on the armrest, face closer than it ever had been, and you found yourself staring at his lips. “Am I?”

If it hadn’t been the look in his eyes, the sound of his voice with those last two words did it. Your eyes drifted shut when he finally met you with a kiss, surprisingly soft and tentative given the tension between you two.

But that was just the first one.

Pulling back just enough to look at you one more time, something was exchanged between you without words and you both surged forward in a heated kiss.

Slowly laying back down all the way, your hands briefly in his hair to make sure this never stopped, pulling him with you, his hands grabbed your wrists putting them by your head like before, but this time trailing his fingers lightly from your elbows up to your hands, fingers tangling with yours as he held your hands.

Instead of restricting, his weight now felt warm, and inviting, and the more of it you felt, the more you wanted.

Turning your head to the side, you had a small grin on your face, but it soon turned into a soft gasp as you felt his lips ghosting ever so lightly over your skin, working from your collarbone, up your neck, and to your ear, where he bit the lobe gently.

When he released it after a second, you turned your head to look at him, lips barely touching one another’s, foreheads pressed together, and heavy breaths being shared, almost as if the breath one was breathing out was what the other required to live.

Xxx

Tags: @mayahart02 @palaiasaurus64 @shydinosaurcandy @lucyqueenofthestars @c-breanne1999 @l4life @ethereallysimple What’s this?

#derek hale #derek hale imagine #derek hale x reader #derek hale x reader imagine #derek hale x reader insert #teen wolf imagine #teen wolf #tw imagine #teen wolf reader insert #teen wolf x reader insert #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf fluff #tw fluff #fluff #tw #pack imagine #pack x reader #pack x reader insert #my mind spins stories

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fezcosbitch · 3 years

Text

JJ Maybank imagine:

Passion and wild regret

Summary: The pogues think you’re a bad influence on JJ.

I’ve been away for a couple of days so I hope this is ok! 💙

All feedbacks welcome as long as it’s not rude or mean ❤️

Warnings: angst, drug use (kind of, they aren’t taken I also do NOT condone drug use, unless it’s for medical reasons).

And yeah, let’s get into to it...

——————————————————————————

You were a bit of a party girl, a wildcard, some would say. ‘Some’ being everyone except for you, who thought you were completely casual.

You were on the beach, at another summer kegger, where, to be fair, you may have a had a bit too much to drink, which of course, normally leads to JJ watching over you like a hawk. You had just downed your 15th (?) beer of the night, and decided to join in on truth or dare with the tourons, with a few pogues and kooks scattered about in the circle. “Y/n, truth or dare?” A random touron asked you. “Easy, dare” you responded, a grin on your face. The touron smirked, clearly having his dare planned out. “I dare you to take this” he said while holding up a clear baggie which looked to have a couple pills in it. “What is it?” You questioned, if you were going to take something you wanted to know what it was. “Only Molly” he said with a sly smirk on his face, looking you in the eye, testing you. The circle went silent, watching for your reaction, and looking at the touron to see if he was serious. “Ok, give it over” you replied, not ever being one to back down from a challenge, maintaining eye contact with him the whole time.

By now, JJ had heard of what you had been dared to do, as well as the rest of the pogues, and they were running to you right now, to stop you from making one of the biggest mistakes of your life. JJ caught you just in time, and slapped the pill out of your hand. “Jesus Christ you really are pissed, come on” J said, grabbing your arm and pulling you up, away from the rest of the group and into the chateau. Laying you down on his bed and waiting for you to fall asleep before going back to the beach to meet back with the pogues at the kegger.

JJs POV:

“What she do over there then JJ” Kie questioned me because they didn’t hear the whole story before we rushed over. “Just y/n being y/n I guess” I chuckled. The rest of the pogues frowned at me, leaving me confused “what” I asked, looking around until one of them spoke up. All three pogues looked at eachother, before John B started speaking “we just- we don’t think she’s a good influence on you man, I mean look at this, look at earlier, she shouldn’t be your responsibility bro, you’re not her parent why should you have to be stressed all evening just waiting for her to do something that you need to rescue her from, why do you have to look after her because she’s so stupid that she can’t control herself, I mean, fuck! Bro she almost took a class A drug today, the only reason she didn’t is because you stopped her. What happens when you’re not there bro? Or what if she somehow convinced you to do it? To join her? I don’t want that for you, none of us do, ok J. She ain’t good for you, it’s about time you realise.” John B ranted. “Shut up, John B, you don’t know what your talking about” I argued back, biting my tongue, not being in the mood for John Bs interference. “I- I don’t know what I’m talking about? Huh J, l-” JB started before Interrupted “NO! Ok you don’t know what your talking about! You’re mackin’ a kook, who’s had everything handed to her her whole life, she’s got everything she’d ever want at her finger tips. She wants a holiday? She gets a holiday. She wants a burger? She gets a burger. She’s not had to deal with the same struggle I have, or y/n has ok, so don’t you dare, stand there and compare you, and your fucking life with your perfect girlfriend and her perfect money, to me, and my girlfriend, who have to take any happiness they can get, so if she wants to get drunk, she’ll get drunk. Of course there’s a limit, I’m not gonna allow her to take that mdma shit, alright, but who can blame her? With the shit that’s happened to her who blames her?” I finally let out, absolutely fuming at John B, how dare he say that shit about her. “SHES A BURDEN JJ, Y/Ns A BURDEN! SHE ACTS LIKE A CHILD! You don’t have to look after her, you deserve more then that” Kiara then burst out, getting involved aswell. I looked between the two of them outraged at how they were acting. “I KNOW OK! I know I look after her, but did you ever once think that maybe I enjoy it? That I like the idea of looking after her? Maybe that’s what I want to do, do you guys EVER consider other peoples emotions? Jesus Christ, fuck you guys” I turned around and stormed off towards the chateau, completely mad at them for what they said. How dare they.

Y/ns POV:

I woke up 5 minutes ago, and immediately started walking to where I knew the pogues would be. As my feet touched the beach I could hear them shouting, so I stopped and listened in, curious, and not wanting to interrupt their seemingly important conversation. “She’s a burden JJ” Who? You were drawn in, who on earth where they talking about like that? “Y/ns a burden” kiara continued.... oh shit. That was great, you guess. Your own friends consider you a burden to your boyfriend, how... joyous. “I know ok” you heard jj shout back. Oh fuck, even better, your own boyfriend agrees. You turned around and ran back to the chateau and into JJs room immediately, not wanting to hear the other harsh words they supposedly say when you’re not around. Taking off the necklace he gave you on the day he asked you out (which you haven’t taken off since) and started writing a note. When you were done, you left them both on his bed side table, side by side so he wouldn’t miss them, and sprinted back home.

How dare he, you thought. How dare he act as if he enjoyed going out with you, and wanted to be with you, when apparently, all this time he, and all his friends thought you were a burden, what even is this? Who says that about the ones they love? Yeah, you might not have had the best upbringing and yeah, you may be a bit (quite a lot) rough around the edges, but so’s JJ, and you don’t judge him or love him any less for that. You don’t see him as a burden. What is is about you? That just, makes people want to leave you behind, I mean should it even be surprising anymore? Your mom took off a while ago and your dad.... well, he stayed but let’s not get into that but, why did she leave you? Along with your brother, and nan and grandad, they all seemed to disappear, forgetting you ever existed. What was it about you. You got home and raced upstairs, trying your hardest not to wake your dad up, and went to bed, tears flowing down your face and thoughts running wild in your mind. Goddamn JJ, why couldn’t he just tell you he didn’t want to be with you anymore? Why’s it always your heart getting broken? But oh well, right? He’s probably happier now he doesn’t have to deal with you and your problems.

JJs POV:

I slammed the door to my room open and just, screamed. Why do they think they can say that to me? Who do they think they are?

I look over to my left, wanting to just crawl into bed with y/n and forget the whole thing, but there’s one problem...I can’t. She’s not there. FUCK. Where did she go? There’s no way she could’ve heard. I look down and see a very familiar necklace, and a note next to it. I pick up the necklace, running my fingers over it, eyebrows furrowing, why’d she take it off? She never takes it off? My heart starts to race as I imagine every possibility, has she been kidnapped? Taken away? Has DCS finally got her? What happened. I then decided to open the note, eyes focusing on her neat handwriting, almost mocking me in a way, the pretty, pristine handwriting and the beautiful words almost making me forget the main message, that were done.

𝒥𝒿,

𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊’𝓋𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝑒𝒻𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝑒𝑒, 𝒶𝓅𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓁𝓎 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽𝓉𝓈 𝑜𝓃 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓇𝑒𝓁𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓃’𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝐼 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓌𝑒 𝓁𝑒𝒻𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂 𝑒𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇, 𝒾 𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝒥𝒿, 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝓊𝓇𝒹𝑒𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓇𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓅𝑜𝓃𝓈𝒾𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀 𝐼 𝒶𝓂, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊’𝓇𝑒 𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒹𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓅𝓊𝓉 𝓊𝓅 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒾𝓉, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼, 𝒾𝓃 𝒶 𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝐼 𝑔𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓈, 𝒶𝓂 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒾𝓉 𝑒𝒶𝓈𝒾𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒥, 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒. 𝒜𝓁𝓁 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉—𝒽𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒢𝑜𝒹—𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓂𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊’𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽. 𝐼 𝓂𝑒𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓈 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓈 𝓈𝒽𝑒’𝓈 𝒶 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓁𝓎 𝑔𝒾𝓇𝓁 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓃𝒾𝒸𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓀𝒾𝓃𝒹. 𝐼𝒻 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝑒𝓈𝓃’𝓉 𝐼’𝓁𝓁 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓉 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒶 𝒽𝒶𝓂𝓂𝑒𝓇. 𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝑒𝓎𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓎 𝒷𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝑒𝓁𝓈𝑒, 𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓎𝓁𝑒, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝑒𝓎𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝒷𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝒥. 𝐼’𝓁𝓁 𝒩𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒 𝓋𝒾𝓇𝓉𝓊𝑒𝓈. 𝒩𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇𝓃𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝒻 𝓇𝒶𝓊𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓈 𝓁𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓊𝒶𝑔𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝓊𝓉𝓁𝒶𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝒷𝑒𝒽𝒶𝓋𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒾𝓈 𝒶 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓀𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓅𝓊𝓇𝒾𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓁 𝓂𝒶𝓃. 𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝒶 𝒾𝓃𝒸𝓇𝑒𝒹𝒾𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝒷𝓊𝓇𝒹𝑒𝓃, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒶 𝓁𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓁𝒹 𝑜𝒻, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒽𝓎 𝓎𝑜𝓊’𝓋𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝓊𝒸𝓀 𝒷𝓎 𝓂𝑒 𝓈𝑜 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝒾𝓈 𝒶𝓃 𝒾𝓃𝒹𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝑜𝓎𝒶𝓁𝓉𝓎. 𝐼 𝓈𝒽𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓅𝒶𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓉. 𝒜𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈, 𝓎/n

Tears where streaming down my face, she left me, all because she over heard kie and the pogues sprouting absolute bullshit about our relationship. She actually left, oh fuck, why does it hurt so much. I’ll go after her tomorrow, we can sort it out, we’ll talk it through tomorrow when she’s not drunk and the pogues will have no influence. I walked out to the hammock and layed down, looking out to the stars, hoping that she’d listen to my explanation and praying that hopefully, she’ll take me back. And that the pogues didn’t ruin everything for us. I’ll wait until I can have her in my arms again, whether she takes me back or not, I’ll wait for her, in life, and until death.

——————————————————————————

How was it? I feel like it was really bad but idk?

All feed backs welcome as long as it’s not rude or mean❤️

Part 2 idk is that needed? If you want one, ask! 💙

But uh yeah, that was that oops.

Also that letter wasn’t mine, it was the letter from Richard burton to Elizabeth Taylor, I just made some adaptions! X

But yeah, cya

Part 2^

207 notes · View notes

spockandawe · 3 years

Note

Hi....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

It’s absolutely no problem at all!! I don’t think I’ve been asked this before, but hey, I also have zero object permanence, so it keeps things fresh and new. And it’s interesting to see how my answers change over time! Lemme see, I think I’m going to go in reverse order, because I feel like then I’ll be doing the worst agonizing up front.

TGCF

Fifth favorite: YIN. YU. I know that he’s a minor character and him even making it onto the list is pretty solid performance, but I do feel guilty that he isn’t higher than this. He came out of nowhere in my first reading and punched me in the stomach with emotions. I find his sections so hard to read, and I was DEVASTATED when he died and BEYOND stoked to find out he was still alive in the extras. His story hurts so much! I am weak against characters who have relatively modest goals and still see them snatched away (see also: my next entry) and have to struggle on. I wish wish wish I had a way to see more of how he made his peace with things after being thrown out of heaven, and the nature of the (distant) relationship with Hua Cheng and what happens with Quan Yizhen now that he died in his arms, and still came back anyways, my god!

Fourth favorite: He Xuannnnnn. I have a hard time articulating particulars, but. I love him a lot. I love a character with a grudge, with a deep, painful grudge, where the grudge is hurting him almost as much as it’s hurting the people around him, and setting the grudge aside would also hurt, and then what has any of this been for-- I've used this metaphor for other characters, but I don’t care if I’m overusing it, because I love it. He feels like a character caught in a thorn bush, where simply being there... hurts, but trying to escape or move in any ways is going to hurt worse, and there’s no path forward that doesn’t involve pain. And like... I don’t love the way he hurt Shi Qingxuan (who didn’t quite make this list adfasgdafsd I’M SORRY) but I wouldn’t have liked to see him swallow back down all that pain and set aside everything that happened to his family and fiancee either! I’m always, always soft for characters who have no good path forward and who grit their teeth and set out anyways.

Third favorite: MU QING!!!!!!!!!! I have done... extensive screaming about him. And I love him veryvery much. I can already tell that this list is going to have a lot of mean boys on it, and like... no regrets. Especially since this is one of my FAVORITE flavors, an unapologetic mean boy who is rarely (but sometimes!) soft for the people around him, and who regularly tries to do decently by people, but who consistently gets shat upon and misunderstood and accused of acting in bad faith. I screamed when he and Xie Lian finally got to talk their friendship out in the book. I also screamed when I realized how immediately after Xie Lian’s return he started looking out for him again, and how sincerely, despite his horrible attitude about it. I still want to write more fic for him so badly. I love him so much.

Second favorite: Xie Lian! What a good boy! The best boy! He’s so sweet and gentle, but also the best fightboy this world has ever seen, and also so gently snarky with the people he loves! I just... really love me some traumatized characters who have trouble recognizing that they can be Loved, and I’m not going to write this whole essay right now, but I think in some ways, he’s the most... passive about his romance, out of all the leads? Shen Qingqiu is aggressively oblivious, but Xie Lian kind of gently shrugs off the idea that he might be Hua Cheng’s special someone, until he finally gets hit with the cluestick. I generally shy away from the idea of a character “earning” love, but he’s maybe the mxtx character who moves me most with ‘you deserve to be loved’

Most favorite: Hua Cheng. HUA CHENG. Oh my god, gotta love this boy. Gotta love this devotion. I love a mean boy who is soft for one person, and he EMBODIES it. I mean, I love Shen Jiu, but he barely manages to do the soft thing at all, while Hua Cheng is over here like ‘if I could only be the stone beneath your feet--’ It’s hard to talk about him separately from Xie Lian, because they’re a unit in my head more than just about any other characters on this list are. I don’t want to get this list to get out of control, so I’m not going to scream for too long, but... I could just watch him go forever. I want to write him forever, and that’s a huge aspect of what draws me to some characters.

MDZS

Oh god, I think I lied, I think this book is going to be hardest. Making these choices is AGONIZING.

Fifth favorite: .....Lan Wangji. Oh god, I feel bad about how low he is. But this story is just packed SO full of wonderful characters, and I’m already consumed with guilt over all the characters who aren’t going to make it. I don’t love them less! But my love for characters in this particular story is very evenly distributed. And I think that Wang Yibo’s acting is possibly scoring points with me that the book might not have earned all by itself. Microexpressions and subtle body language add SO MUCH to a character with such flat affect, and I would be drawn to such a closed-off character anyways, but it really helps. And I love, like... the combined subtlety and intensity of his relationships. It’s not that subtle once you know what to look for, and the brother/sworn brother network makes for varying degrees of how much other characters understand of the things he chooses not to explicitly express, and it gives a really interesting character to the way he interacts with the people around him. Also, love me a man with intense separation anxiety.

Fourth favorite: Jiang Yanli? I think it has to be Jiang Yanli, but these rankings are hard. So. I just talked about how much I enjoy the flat affect and closed off nature of Lan Wangji? Well, guess what, I also love it when m’girl is just very GENUINELY AND OPENLY an absolute sweetheart of a person, and I love the contrast between her genuinely kind nature and the uncomfortable pressure that her family’s dynamics put on her to start parenting at a very young age. It’s not necessarily a happy situation, but she adores her brothers so much and they adore her so much! And it’s... a very understated element of the story, but after her parents died, her baby brothers went off to war, and one wreaked havoc as a straightforward commander and one of them disappeared for months and returned as a creepy-ass zombie puppeteer. And she STILL dotes on them like before, despite knowing what they’re capable of. Like, yes, Wei Wuxian just raised an army of corpses and forced a man to eat himself, but I shall still boop him on the nose and feed him Soup. How can I not adore energy like that?

Third favorite: Wei Wuxian, I think. I do adore him a lot. He gives me some of the same vibes that make me ache most with Xie Lian, where he is trying his best, and is struggling to hold on in the face of lots of suffering, and I find it really interesting that when the suffering peaked, Xie Lian was forced go on because he couldn’t die, while Wei Wuxian... expired. That line about ‘he thought that no matter how large the world was, there was still no place for him’ always sticks with me, and hurts me deeply. Xie Lian had most of his personal attachments stripped away, and was left to wander on his own, while Wei Wuxian still had a number of strong connections left, but abruptly exited life. And that informs their respective trauma so interestingly! The way Wei Wuxian bounces between high energy chaos and drained exhaustion is really fascinating to me, and was the thread that held me attached to the book through a very confusing beginning. And I’m still very drawn to how intensely he loves, whether it’s Xiao Zhan’s fantastic acting, or it’s him busting out with how much he wants Lan Wangji in the middle of the Guanyin Temple scene. He’s a fantastic character, honestly, I don’t think such a convoluted book would have held together very well without a protagonist this strong.

Second favorite: Xue Yang :X Look, he’s a good boy and I love him. Who among us hasn’t done a few mass murders that we are completely unrepentant about, but that we would really like to keep hidden from our current boyfriend, actually? Anyways, as always, love me an angry boy who makes terrible decisions for understandable reasons. And I do love a character who is consumed by agonized ragrets (see my next entry), but I DO also love me a character who has no regrets at all and doesn’t even have much interest in trying to justify himself to anyone else around him. Just look at that confidence! Look at him go!!

Most favorite: Jiang... Cheng....... I knew he and Xue Yang were going to be at the top, but those were the only parts of this list that were easy. I mean. Love a self-sabotaging angryboy who is also super super sad and keeps hurting himself in his own confusion. And while I love the romantic thread in all of the mxtx books, the agonized family thread in mdzs is one of my favorite parts, and something that I don’t really see echoed in any of the other stories. I need ten million jc+wwx reconciliations, at LEAST. He’s so sad! And so angry! And I want to see him becoming less of that thing, and for Jin Ling and Wei Wuxian to demonstrate very firmly how much they love him, because they do. I am invested in his happiness in a way that goes far and beyond any of the other non-main characters, haha

SVSSS

Fifth favorite: Tianlang-jun. I think? Oh god, but moshang. THIS IS REALLY HARD, I HATE THIS ;-; But especially since writing my fic, Tianlang-jun has really won me over. And like, he already hurt me good in the novel, just thinking about how he was an innocent young guy, just! Trying to have a girlfriend! And instead got trapped in sensory deprivation, body-rotting-hell for twenty years, when he didn’t do anything wrong!!! He suffered, so much! And I live for his intensely strained relationship with Luo Binghe, because it’s! Perfectly understandable and painful, from both of their perspectives! And he wants to hate humans so badly, but in the end, when he’s told that Su Xiyan never betrayed him, he starts helplessly asking the people around him, ‘really? is it really true?’ and then in the end he loses the only family member he has left who cares about him, and it’s just! Everything is terrible! I have a su xiyan au brewing in my head because I can’t stand it! Someone just give this man a loving partner!!!

Fourth favorite: Shen Qingqiu. But... moshang??? Goddammit. Anyways, this dumbass. I find him so endearing, in his dumbassery. I sometimes get a bit frustrated with Wei Wuxian for being oblivious, and Shen Qingqiu is just asking for me to react the same way, but I... don’t, for the most part? Because he thinks he has good information, and he’s slow to react to a changing playing field, and I still haven’t read another transmigration novel that strikes the same balance of hypercompetence and intense incompetence :ppp It’s a funny book, and he’s a funny character! And I really vibe with him, in most parts of the story, which covers a pretty darn wide emotional spectrum. Plus, the running internal commentary is choice.

Third favorite: Liu Qingge. Look, I’m a woman of simple needs, and sometimes I just need a high-quality fightboy who clearly cares deeply and is absolute garbage at expressing his emotions. I can’t articulate it much better than that. I absolutely howl at the succubus extra, when Shen Qingqiu is talking to Madam Meiyin about his future partner, and Liu Qingge is like ‘oh my god, sHE IS CLEARLY DESCRIBING ME’ and Shen Qingqiu is like ‘haha, liu-shidi, i thought you thought this was stuupidddddddd’. They’re both so dumb. I love them so much. But stupidity plus war god fighting energy has a narrow lead over stupidity and internal commentary track.

Second favorite: SHEN JIU. GOD. I’m still arguing with myself over whether he should go first, but Luo Binghe hurts me consistently through the whole entire story, so I think he wins. Shen Jiu just stabs me in the heart at strategic moments. This is it. My ideal mean boy who is soft for one (1) person, and who BOTH does unconscionable things for terrible reasons (someone just. give him a pile of girls to teach, it will be much more pleasant for everyone involved), and who ALSO gets blamed for things he didn’t do even when he tries to act in good faith. It is the best of all painful worlds. And even at the end, when he has a powerful person who wants desperately to protect him, he still tries his hardest to shove that person away, to keep him safe. I’ve got like four aus where he gets to live. I’m so invested in this character, I love him so much.

Most favorite: Luo Binghe. He was.... made for me............ Like, the overwhelming amounts of childhood angst were baked in by Shang Qinghua, but the in-story pain and suffering is PRECISELY my jam. I love a character with separation anxiety! I love a character with massive anxieties over being unwanted! Over nobody ever, EVER just choosing him! I love a character struggling with the idea that the person he loves most in the world thinks that he’s intrinsically Disgusting! I love the kind of stubborn determination that leads him to preserve a corpse for five years, desperately hoping for a way to revive it, constantly cooking fresh food, in case, in case he someday wakes up. The way Hua Cheng loves is overpowering, but he’s had time to like... learn to be mellow when he needs to be. Luo Binghe doesn’t have a chill bone in his body, and if he’s acting chill, it’s probably because he’s done some mental math and decided that being more clingy right now will probably get him pushed away harder. I love the combination of manipulative tendencies and a very, very genuine fear of rejection and being unwanted. There is nothing I don’t love about Luo Binghe, including his worst decisions. I love him so so much.

#spock replies #long post/#svsss #mdzs #tgcf #thanad-zid

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kyogre-blue · 3 years

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Finished the first GAA game.

I see now why they bundled together the two games, because they really are meant to be played together. I’m going to give my thoughts here, but I’m very aware that a lot of stuff set up in GAA1 is actually going to be followed up on in 2, so all this may end up looking very different at the end.

While on that subject, the dangling plot threads are really quite... excessive. The killer of the first case, Kazuma’s mission, Iris’s dad, the Chief Justice seemingly knowing what McGilded was doing, whatever is van Zieks’s deal, that one very unique NPC who rented in the same house as Soseki but vanished after one meaningless scene, the Crystal Tower repeat mentions, the Baskerville story, etc, etc... there is A Lot.

All of this setup without payoff honestly doesn’t do the game any favors. On top of it having a lot of focus on dragging Ryunosuke into law in the first place (two cases are just setup to explain why he’s involved), the whole thing feels like it’s incomplete or at least disjointed.

It doesn’t help that the final killer is quite bland, while one case is a straight up accident, and another is just a bunch of unfortunate contrivances, and one more is basically theatrical setup for the last case. Basically nothing topped the first case killer’s breakdown, which is not a great thing.

On the whole, it’s a perfectly fine game though. I wouldn’t say the writing is flawed as such. I often got quite involved in it and would go for a couple hours just playing through.

The problem is that is often drops in something that I really didn’t like, breaking the pace. These aren’t interlinked problems, and mostly they’re just personal taste, but there’s a lot of them.

The most widespread but hardest to define one is the... nationality thing. Putting it in the mildest terms possible.

Nearly every NPC will consistently refer to Ryunosuke as “Japanese,” “Far Eastern,” “Nipponese,” etc. And this happens pretty much every time they address him. Even people who know him pretty well, like Gregson in the last case, will STILL do this. It really gets annoying because it’s so unnecessary. If the game is trying to say something with this, it definitely did not articulate its point.

And that’s separate from the quite a high number of characters who are just straight up racist against “Empire of Japan.” On the other hand, they also love mentioning how Britain is the pinnacle of xyz, and Iris has a weird line where she’s like “doing X would not be the British way!” On top of the fanboying about “Sholmes” stories, the whole thing is extremely strange. I really can’t parse what is going on here, but it continually got on my nerves.

Then, I didn’t like two of the main mechanics. Correcting Sherlock Holmes’s Herlock Sholmes’s great deductions never stopped feeling, well, very cringe. And the jury system is just infuriating. Yes!! I love hearing how stupid the general public is! And having to summation them 2+ times per case because for whatever reason, they refuse to hear out even the first cross examination!! Very fun!!

Given what I heard about the endgame for AA4, this is just puzzling, honestly.

Third, I didn’t like the moral of the story given in case 5, which ran through cases 3 and 4 as well. And that was that Ryunosuke was somehow in the wrong for representing McGilded because McGilded messed around to get himself acquitted. The circumstances are such that blaming Runo is just nuts, and the whole thing is then framed as a trust issue. Like, the tone is WILD. Obviously, some of the people who need legal defense will be guilty! You can’t know if someone is guilty! That’s why there are investigations and trials! Defense attorneys can’t magically sense guilt! Otherwise, we wouldn’t need trials!

And then resolving the whole thing via Gina, who is a personal friend is.......

Anyway, it was not the right venue for this kind of moralizing about trust, imo.

Last, I didn’t particularly love the characters, but their dynamic did start coming together in the last case, so this one became less an issue.

#watching ace attorney

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spxctrixmru · 3 years

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Saren Arterius Headcanon Post #003 (I think, lost track ALREADY) Public Opinion, Reputation Issues, Regaining Spectre Status, etc... -

Following Saren Arterius’ breakthrough of fighting off the Indoctrination, in this AU, I do want to propose that Saren is NOT at all evil like others portray him as, they went down the wrong path and became blinded by his own ideas of trying to protect the galaxy, upon being forced to kill his indoctrinated brother, Desolas, Saren himself found himself indoctrinated, and for years it was a slow itch in the back of his mind, upon the realization that he was losing this battle against holding his will, They had begun to raise up the Geth Army, his silence in the times with working with Krogan mercenaries, will, it’s attributed to internal in-fighting with Sovereign.

The Exo-Skeleton of Saren in this AU is a whole separate entity created by Sovereign controlling Saren and other indoctrinated servants, and is not inside of Saren unlike Canon, this eco-skeleton, like in the past HC, haunts his dreams constantly, and is who takes over the whole operation once Saren started slowly regaining control of his mind despite it all. This doesn’t help because the Public from Day 1 of his Spectre status being ripped from him, they’ve portrayed him as a betrayer to the Spectre Code, and that he is an evil villain that must be stopped at all costs. So Past Pre-Virmire, the Eco-Skeleton!Saren is the one leading the Geth, and is the one that Shepard Encounters on Virmire instead of Saren himself, because at this point, Saren had turned himself in to the Citadel with help of Nihlus.

In-between Virmire and the Beginning of Mass Effect 2, Saren Arterius is put through rigorous psychological tests and is placed on arrest (specifically House Arrest per Nihlus’ request). This, up until the Battle of the Citadel led by the Exo Skeleton version of Saren, causes MASS outrage within the people of the Citadel, Nihlus, well, he had a 3-1 agreement, Udina constantly denying any need for the Turian “War-Criminal” and wanting him dead beyond other means, it was Sparatus’ initial agreement that led to Tevos and Valern giving into Nihlus’ Request. When the Battle of the Citadel began, Saren broke out of his house arrest, and boarded the ZVR Scimitar, Which is originally Nihlus’ ship, it’s smaller than the SSV Normandy SR1, but has a lot more stealth capabilities and cyclone shielding tech. Together, Saren flew them to help evacuate and Save the Destiny Ascension alongside Alliance Ships.

Even when news broke out that Saren had been the one to get Nihlus onto their ship to save the Council, and even if the Reapers Control on Saren thanks to the destruction of Sovereign in the battle of the citadel, the Council’s coverup of it being the Reapers made Public Opinion not change too much from before the Battle. With the itch and static in the back of Saren’s mind gone, he can finally start undergoing more than just psychology tests, their personality immediately changes from the bold, fearless (and usually ruthless/feared) Turian, to mellow, still feared because of misinformation of the Reapers and indoctrination, but also outright Traumatized thanks to all the heinous things he was forced to do under the one-sided alliance of Sovereign and Saren. Rumors became fact to the Public thanks to Shepard continuously talking about the Reapers when they’re rebuilt and are working for Cerberus.

Saren’s reputation is forever soured, but, after he lives out his reduced sentencing (which Udina is constantly trying to uphold his release, even succeeding in one, forcing Saren to sit in a Prison Cell for a good 5 months before Nihlus bailed him out). following months of mental turmoil with the Two Turians, Nihlus’ Spectre status is temporarily stripped due to Councilor Sparatus figuring out a little.. pact with the two of them that was made on Virmire, forcing the two of them to continue therapy and psychological testing for a good month before they hold a meeting about Saren regaining Spectre Status, Udina is the only one who objects, of course, spouting crazed nonsense about the turian being on Sovereign’s side for so long. Sparatus has been seeing Saren Arterius and Nihlus Kryik for months at that point, personally looking after them himself for the time Nihlus had his Spectre Status temporarily stripped thanks to mental health complications.

Saren’s Psychological testing came back all perfect, and outside of the Trauma that Sovereign had inflicted onto him (among other issues talked about in prior HC posts about Saren), This is around the same time Shepard is finding out more and more about the Collectors, and because of this, Saren swears to his life to help against the Collectors, spending most of his time gathering intel and always going out to save as many as he can from colonies, despite how honestly terrified humans are of the now Reinstated Spectre. In the two years, nearly three that Saren spent on Arrest/in his Cell, and the three years they were constantly tested and prodded about Sovereign, the public opinion of him only worsened. Shepard actually picks up Saren, who the Turian is now constantly sending them intel and assets to aid with the Collectors.

and Soon in Mass Effect 3, the Reapers. Where, Post Arrivals DLC, Saren Arterius is directly involved in constant intel gathering and research into the Reapers, but steers clear of Bryson’s Lab in actual fear of Sovereign, they’re still scared shitless of “What if, just what if there’s still something in that machine that CAN control me again?” Public Opinion lightens up during the Cerberus Coup, where Saren and Nihlus are seen protecting the Councilors from Cerberus, and helping out citadel citizens left and right, and furthermore, continuing to help against the fight against the Reapers, even helping in Menae, Palaven’s Moon after recovering from their injuries from the Coup. Still, to the end and beyond of the Reaper War, where they win and the Reapers are all destroyed, Saren still faces constant discrimination from some public eyes and even still scared Citizens, despite all the help he had in saving all of their lives, they try their absolute hardest even the day they make it out of the ER in Palaven’s Hospital alongside Nihlus, where they spend all their time rebuilding and helping build a new, Citadel for the Citadel Species, which takes quite a long time, but that’s another story to write about.

#This has been on my mind for at LEAST a month now #I just didn't fully commit to writing it out until now #Out of Rifles: OOC #Headcanons #He Whom Shall Find Happiness: Saren Arterius #LONG POST #LIKE REALLY LONG #indoctrination tw #ptsd tw #suicide mention tw #near death tw

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veliseraptor · 3 years

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2020 Fanfiction Round-Up

I do one of these every year! And have since I think 2016. Can’t break a tradition even if it’s been a clusterfuck of a time and filling this out was in some ways an exercise in remembering the ways I have failed myself as a writer this year.

But oh well!

Total Year-Long Wordcount: I’ll post the final final number tonight after I finish the writing I want to do this afternoon (and plan to do this afternoon), but it’s currently 451,803 words written this year. Guessing I’m going to land somewhere around 453,000ish. (AO3 claims a higher number than that but that’s because it is counting the entirety of fics where I posted chapters this year.

This year I wrote and posted: I wrote a fair number more than I posted (there are five fics finished but for various reasons unposted on my hard drive) but based on Tumblr I posted 78 posts in my fic tag, which, not including chapter specific updates and three sentence meme answers (but including at least two Tumblr-only longer fics), probably comes out to about 60 or so “full length” fics that saw the light of day in 2020.

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

Well, I wrote more than I did last year, which is sort of a surprise to me (all things considered) but also maybe not, because I was doing a lot less of most other things that could’ve been occupying my time, including two hours daily of commuting.

But still less than I did in 2018. Which is fine.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

Lord, I don’t know. It depends on when you ask me. Lately I’ve been in a bit of a “I hate everything I’ve written ever” state of mind, so that makes it sort of hard to do any kind of...reasonable assessment.

I know I’m proud of With Absolute Splendor but I have all these reservations about it and I can’t reread it for the most part because I always notice new things I wish I’d done differently. I feel pretty good about efforts in a common cause but something about it still makes me cringe, which I suspect has to do with my general self-consciousness. I have a hard time feeling unreservedly proud about...anything I wrote this year, really.

I feel like the closest I get is maybe nor autumn falter which I am pretty pleased with and also which does hurt me a lot personally. Or I did end up overall pretty pleased with what came out of By Proxy.

But also the more I look at this question the more I start hating all my own work, so...guess this is kind of coming at a bad time.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I mean, I started writing in my first non-English fandom in many years, and specifically one where I was trying to engage more with the cultural background of the setting (in a way I wasn’t with, say, Death Note, when I was writing Death Note fic). So that was a risk. And I learned that it’s very stressful and there’s so many ways to make mistakes and I am, in many ways, a coward. But also I think I’ve learned a fair amount thanks to a lot of very patient people on the internet, so...there’s that.

Otherwise...I mean, I got ambitious with a few projects this year (the Big Bang fic and With Absolute Splendor stand out), but I’m not sure how much I really tried new things.

I feel like I had to fight myself a little on writing straight up bad sex for By Proxy - I planned on it being hot, and it really wasn’t. It was mostly just miserable. Which made for a better fic, but was a new experience for me as far as ‘I thought I was going to write porn and that isn’t what I wrote.’

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year:

By far, With Absolute Splendor. In fact, it has now become my second most kudosed fic of all time, behind only fuckin Life in Reverse. So like. That’s a thing.

(It is still less than half as many as Life in Reverse, but for context Life in Reverse has been around for going on eight years.)

Most fun story to write:

Most fics where I feel like “I’m having so much fun writing this!” also go through a “oh god I hate this it’s terrible” phase which makes this sort of hard to assess. But I did have overall a lot of fun writing Mutual Friends despite all my frustration with the canon-wrangling I had to do to make it work in my head.

But also I feel like both Retributive Justice and Embedded were in different ways deeply iddy fics that were just fun to write. That actually goes for a lot of the Whumptober fics. That was a very self-indulgent month. Excited to do it again in February (hopefully, if I can write things in a timely manner at all).

Story with the single sexiest moment:

I feel like the beauty of your repair might be my personal favorite smut I posted this year, but I think my personal favorite that I wrote is in the big bang fic nobody will see until January.

I feel like most of the sexiest moments I’ve written this year are in the porn fics I’m going to start posting in January also. But just generally I feel like the beauty of your repair is the sexiest thing I wrote and posted.

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

I mean, I Come With Knives is definitely up there. It’s not that wrong or anything, but it got pretty intense in some ways I wasn’t expecting. Mostly in how much blood got involved, which was actually more than I’d had it involved in a sex thing before! Kind of surprises me that I haven’t previously done more with bloodplay stuff but. Well. First time for everything!

I don’t think this was a year that really had any “wow, what the fuck, Lise” things in it. Nothing on the level of last year’s winner. I’m almost disappointed in myself.

Abattoir was definitely the story that generated the weirdest conversation and creepiest search questions, though, so it does get points for that.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

I feel like the writing of everyone else is spring bound was a lot of...me thinking through my Jiang Cheng feelings and specifically my Jiang Cheng post-canon feelings.

the martyr, the victim was pretty formative in shaping how I think about both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and their relationship with each other. It was the first fic I wrote that really dug into them in any way, I think, and definitely one that informed how I thought about writing Lan Xichen later.

Hardest story to write:

I was thinking it was the one that I haven’t posted yet but I did technically finish, aka my Big Bang fic, the terrible threesome fic, the massive “I’m gonna keep everyone in the Yi City arc alive” AU that I started shortly after finishing The Untamed and finished in December. So I spent most of the year writing it.

But then I was like - no, I’m going to have to go with we live until we die even though it’s technically been ‘in progress’ for five years and really kicked into gear in 2019 and I just finished it and posted it this year, because that fic was like. The culmination of a big arc in an enormous verse dealing with a whole lot of balls in the air and trying to tie up a whole lot of threads. It was ambitious and the stakes were high and it was full of plot and action which are not two of my strengths...frankly I’m still amazed I pulled the damn thing off.

Biggest Disappointment:

I think it is better if I refrain from going too in depth on this because it would just end up as me listing a bunch of my perceived failings. But I think off the top of my head I’m frustrated by the fact that I still haven’t really managed to write a XueXiao smut fic that quite hits the spot for me, myself. I’ve written two and for various reasons I don’t really like either of them.

Biggest Surprise:

The fact that my Jiang Cheng fic took off the way it did. Legitimately did not see that coming! At all! I mean, I’m delighted by it but it wasn’t what I saw happening as far as “niche I’d find in this fandom” or “thing I’d write that people would really enjoy reading.”

Particularly with By Proxy. That fic got a lot more attention than I would’ve expected.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story:

I feel like every fic I write with Xue Yang in it tells you something about me and most of those things are things that make me, on some level, deeply self-conscious, but I try not to think about that too much.

I feel like the most telling story is maybe we all drift sometimes because I literally wrote it out of a depressive episode about a bad brain day but that wasn’t unintentional.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

1. So it turned out that if you touched the tendons of a dead person’s wrist and channeled a little bit of spiritual energy just right, it made the fingers twitch and curl like they were still alive. (Abattoir)

2. Here’s the thing: your Daozhang is glorious when he kills. (tear out all your tenderness)

3. Turned out that a sect leader’s head came off like anyone else’s. (Unnatural Selection)

4. The first hint that anything had gone awry was the letter from Lan Wangji (His Excellency Hanguang-jun, pardon me) that simply said have you heard from Wei Ying? (some good mistakes)

5. What Jiang Cheng wanted to do, more than anything, was to go home and take a nap. (everyone else is spring bound)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

I usually keep this to 10 but because I’ve been in such a :| place about my own writing I indulged myself this once.

1. Sometimes it felt like all he had done since descending the mountain was shatter his own dreams and accumulate regrets. (nor autumn falter)

2. It felt like she was holding all the components of a bomb in her hands, half assembled. If she moved the right way they would stay just that: components. But if she moved the wrong way… (til my judgment day)

3. He should have killed him. Should have been the one to strike that blow, in revenge for Jin Zixuan and their sister and everyone else dead for Wei Wuxian’s pride. Maybe then there would not be this gnawing, aching thing embedded in his chest; this itching, unfinished feeling. Maybe then he would not feel torn in two, sometimes like he should have reached out with his other hand and sometimes like he should have struck truer and sometimes both, in the same moment. (Interstitial)

4. He owed Wei Wuxian more than he could ever give back in this lifetime. Forgiving him felt like betraying his sister’s memory. Not forgiving him felt like trying to walk with a thorn in his foot. He was just - stuck, caught like a demon in a spiritual net.

Jiang Cheng thought of the way Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji, with warmth and trust and love, and the aching, sick jealousy he had no right to feel returned. He felt a little like a child watching someone pick up a toy he’d abandoned and suddenly realizing that he wanted it back. (everyone else is spring bound)

5. You close your eyes and think about how he looked back in that town, Shuanghua slicing clean through a man’s neck, opening it to the spine, and think dizzily that he could open you like that and it’d be good, as long as it lasted. (tear out all your tenderness)

6. When Wangji loved, he loved with his whole being, without reserve. And now he had been placed between the rock of his convictions and the hard place of his devotion to Wei Wuxian. (the martyr, the victim)

7. He spent a week turning the idea over in his head. Studying it like a corpse he was going to dissect, poking at it, cutting it open and examining its insides. (dead reckoning)

8. When the world hurt you, that was the only thing to do, after all. Hurt it back, harder, worse. Spill rivers of blood for every drop it squeezed from you.

And when the end came, never go quietly. (the blood in your mouth)

9. I would stand with you through the end of the world, said Loki’s voice in his head, and Steve’s heart wasn’t in his chest anymore, was somewhere off on another planet where Loki was lying dead in a ruined city. (we live until we die)

10. Was it always going to be like this? Stumbling into traps, tripping over familiar skeletons, slicing himself open on the edges of old hurts. Was there really such a thing as leaving the past behind? He still felt stuck in it, unable to move, and every time he thought he might be finally dragging himself free something pulled him back. (With Absolute Splendor)

11. His chest was full of poison. His throat was full of grief. And he was still a little drunk.

Jiang Cheng went to his room, sat down on his bed, put his face in his hands, and cried until he couldn’t breathe. (By Proxy)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

I think the scene from nor autumn falter of Xiao Xingchen just crying his heart out over Xue Yang’s dead body would be up there.

The Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian hug from the end of With Absolute Splendor.

Okay, just gonna say it: Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao having sex by the table with Nie Mingjue’s headless corpse on it. So sue me.

The scene in the blood in your mouth where Song Lan has stabbed Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen is following the line of Fuxue to the latter. I have a very clear visual of it in my head and if I could art I’d art it.

Xue Yang with the hallucinatory Xiao Xingchen from liberate spirits, liberate souls.

Fic-writing goals for 2021:

Finish Walking Far From Home.

Maybe I’ll finish some of these MCU WIPs? I’d kind of like to, on an abstract level if nothing else.

Become a more well-adjusted human being about the relationship between my productivity and my self-worth.

#fanfiction round up #confessions of a frustrated writer #you'll get my fun statistical analysis nonsense later

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dramione-tea · 3 years

Text

recommendations & little snippets of myself

by Cassiopeia Candles ( Instagram: @casseopya.candles )

note: click the title in order to be directed to the desired fan fiction.

- for the dramione shippers, I wish you luck!

Unrequited Love [ casspiane ]

“Darling, I wished you knew,”

Draco Malfoy x Original Characters (OC)

1. Love Never Dies. [ rosebuds_ ]

Rachel Farrell, pure blood witch, family of Gryffindors. First year is not the best for Rachel. She struggles trying to fit in and be accepted by those around her. Falling for Draco Malfoy, Rachel has to overcome a wave of obstacles. She finds it difficult to be accepted by her family and turns to the Malfoys... Which was undoubtedly one of the biggest mistakes she made. Find out what happens to Rachel and what truly changes her life.

- Literally binge read the whole book during my 6th grade examination. ( I know it was bad for me ) But hey I didn’t fail.

P.S. Don’t be like me.

2. midnight of the masquerade [ seraphilims ]

a story in which two people realize masks only hide the appearance - not the heart.

- Love the story plot. I’ve read this thrice in different years.

3. Imperio [ pansyparks ]

The younger sister of Cedric Diggory, Arden, is a Slytherin who doesn't fit in. Draco Malfoy, a wealthy Slytherin bully. The two come together, and Arden realises that being a Slytherin isn't so bad after all; but with a few bumps in the road for Draco, can they stay together?

4. Dear Draco [ malfoyuh ]

❛stay a little longer❜

- 15 year old me were in tears, so was my heart. Rate it as 5/5.

5. Let’s Kill Tonight [ Bambey ]

Rebecca Rosewood's life is dramatically changed when she becomes a Death Eater. With blood on her hands, she is summoned by Voldemort to go to Hogwarts and extract information from the famous Harry Potter, finding herself hopelessly attracted to Draco Malfoy at the same time. But it all gets a little too much when her past finally catches up with her...

- One of the first fan-fictions I’ve read about Draco.

6. if looks could kill [ WhenInDoubtSleep ]

In times like this, the truth can rewrite the past and alter the future. In an attempt to find herself amidst the deceptive lies and horrible truths, she finds Draco Malfoy instead. She honestly just wants to make it out of the year alive...and maybe with a few less kisses from the blond git. Love story set during the sixth year at Hogwarts.

7. Always Had A Thing For Bad Boys [ oxNeverShoutNeverxo ]

8. Who Are You? [ TheBlondeAdventurer ]

Draco Malfoy. One of the most arrogant teenage boys in Slytherin's house. He struts through the school and doesn't miss an opportunity to cut someone down, just as he has been by his father his entire life. Now enter Elena Crowe. A quiet girl who tries her hardest to stay out of trouble, and one of Ravenclaw's best students. She always has the best answers and never fails to help someone in need, even if they may not deserve it. In their sixth year at Hogwarts, Draco finally runs into Elena, whom he has never seemed to notice before. Elena does her absolute best to stay away from him, because all he can be is trouble, but Draco finds amusement by forcing himself into her life. For what reason, he doesn't know; but what he does know is that he enjoys bantering with this quiet girl, because even she can get riled up and fight back. But Draco will see that Elena is a lot more than what she may seem. Soon he will be battling morales, his past, his family, and both of them may end up facing off in the final battle not with Lord Voldemort, but each other.

- To be completely honest, read this one more than 3 times.

9. Unwanted Legacy [ writtenbyciara ]

" admit it, you care about me. "

- Recently read this months ago and found it quite interesting. The author’s writing style is different from the rest as her words make you visualize more on what is happening.

- Book 1 & 2 is complete, while book 3 is still on its way.

Draco Malfoy x Hermione Granger (Dramione)

1. We Learned The Sea [ floorcoaster ]

Draco Malfoy turns himself in after a very successful career as a Death Eater, then enlists Harry and Hermione to help him in a scheme to bring down the Dark Lord.

- This gave me the feels. Draco’s personality in this is far most different from the books and other fan fictions.

2. The Bachelor [ Fluff ]

Hermione's mother is pressuring her into finding a boyfriend. On a whim, she applies and is accepted into the wizard version of The Bachelor. But what happens when The Bachelor is none other than Draco Malfoy himself?

3. Defending The Dark [ Cece Louise ]

Almost three years after Voldemort's defeat, Hermione Granger is a Ministry-appointed Defense Inquisitor. Her next assignment: defend Draco Malfoy. She's sure there must be some mistake. Confronted with mysterious memories, candid conversations, and confusing feelings, she is plagued with uncertainty. Just who is Draco Malfoy? And does he deserve a second chance?

4. Graveyard Valentine [ Bex-chan ]

Hermione thought she was the only person in the world who would spend Valentine's Day in a Graveyard, but she was wrong. He's there. Every single year, with his gloves, roses, and answers. Dramione Valentine's Day one-shot. Post-Hogwarts.

- All time favorite.

5. Eighteen Months [ Istalindar ]

When Hermione is diagnosed with a magic allergy and kidney failure during the summer, everything changes for her, friends, enemies..life.

6. Love Me Twice [ Bex-chan ]

'"They tore her apart and then wiped me out of her mind to send me a message. To mess up my life. To break..." he trailed off. Blaise nodded his head with understanding. "To break your heart," he finished for him.' Dramione. One-shot.

7. The Wrong Strain [ Colubrina ]

Everyone knew what veela were. Veela were magical creatures, breathtakingly beautiful, who captivated men with a single look. It would have been nice to have been that strain. Instead, Hermione Granger was infected by another. Instead of captivating all men, she was captivated by one. She'd die without him. She was already in almost constant pain.

8. Entwined In Time [ TheSummerNightingale ]

When Hermione and Draco get put into detention together, a potion mishaps throws them back in time: into the Marauders' era. As they begin to adjust to life twenty years into the past, the two become drawn together, sharing the bond of the future as they are forced to work together to return to their own time.

9. Destiny [ Annie Lockwood ]

Hermione's wedding night is everything but perfect for the young witch. Her new husband and long-time friend, Ronald, is passed out drunk and she thinks upon her life leading up to that night. Hermione falls asleep, despondent and alone. When she wakes up the following morning, she is still in bed with her husband. But it isn't Ronald Weasley.

10. Silencio [ AkashatheKitty ]

One late night, hate turns to lust.

11. Clean [ Olivie Blake ]

Malfoy's handsome face was contoured into a condescending smirk. "No faith in that giant brain of yours, Granger?" She looked up at him defiantly. "Maybe I don't have faith in you!" she said, raising her voice. Malfoy only looked at her. "You'll find I'm very surprising."

12. Marked [ Olivie Blake ]

Two dead. Three missing. The Order is down a leader and another innocent takes the Mark. Where is the Chosen One, and who killed Draco Malfoy?

13. The Fallout [ everythursday ]

Hermione learns about growing up through the redemption of Draco Malfoy.

14. Every Day, a Little Death [ LovesBitca8 ]

It has become common knowledge that Hermione Granger cannot have an orgasm. Many have tried, none have succeeded. Can Draco Malfoy offer his assistance?

15. familiar faces, worn out places [ LovesBitca8 ]

“You are at St. Mungo’s. You were in a coma.” He looks me over again, taking a pause. “I am a Healer here now,” he says, like it explains something. My fingers stretch, drifting across his sleeve. He looks down, like I’ve thrown mud at him.

Forcing my vocal chords together for the first time, I whisper, “What’s your name?”

16. Kiss Me, Haunt Me, Kill Me [ LovesBitca8 ]

"So," she said, and her voice was just as he'd remembered it, "you've chosen to haunt the castle as well?" She lifted her brows. "I'm dead. What's your excuse?" ~*~ Draco Malfoy returns to Hogwarts as Potions Master to find the ghost of Hermione Granger floating through the halls.

17. Ribbons Down Her Back [ LovesBitca8 ]

The unintentional annual seduction of Draco Malfoy through a series of ribbons and bows - or - Christmas Fluff with a dash of Secret Santa.

18. Manacled [ SenLinYu ]

Harry Potter is dead. In the aftermath of the war, in order to strengthen the might of the magical world, Voldemort enacts a repopulation effort. Hermione Granger has an Order secret, lost but hidden in her mind, so she is sent as an enslaved surrogate to the High Reeve until her mind can be cracked.

19. The Library of Alexandria [ SenLinYu ]

The Library of Alexandria is not for just any witch or wizard. Many bookworms may try but few are permitted to pass through its doors. The books residing there are ancient and powerful and, if one happens to make a mistake, the consequences can be rather—novel.

20. A Slow Cruel Descent + A Fragile Ascent [ SenLinYu ]

A Slow Cruel Descent

The war grinds on and Hermione Granger, the lead intelligence for the Order of the Pheonix, is captured. Unable to crack her through interrogation without risking her mind, Voldemort conceives a cruel method of breaking her that involves a reluctant Draco Malfoy.“He stared at her in disgust.She looked—broken.The fire she’d still had when she was dragged in was now extinguished. Her eyes were locked on his face like she were memorizing him.“Stop staring at me.” He snarled. “You stupid bint. You’re supposed to be so clever. They can’t break you with torture but a fucking potion reduces you to a sniveling traitor.”

A Fragile Ascent

The War is over. Voldemort is dead. And Hermione Granger is broken.

21. Sweetly Broken [ LadyKenz347 ]

As the dust settles following the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco’s confidence, belief system, and world are shattered.In an attempt to mend his broken pieces, he turns to vials that take the pain away. But once the high’s are no longer so high and the lows get so much lower, Draco has to start a journey of healing and redemption that often hurts more than it helps.

22. Truth, Lies, and Storytelling [ BreathOfThePhoenix ]

“Hermione,” Harry took a deep breath and flipped the book over to see the back cover, “why is my name on this?”“Like I said, someone is writing about us. The film we just saw was based on that book,” Hermione tapped the cover of the book on the top of the stack, “and it was incredibly accurate.”Harry passed the stack of books over to Ginny, holding on to the first one. He turned the title of the book over in his head, mumbling the words quietly to himself.“Harry Potter… me… Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. Philosopher’s stone. Hermione, this feels weird. Am I the narrator?”When Hermione and Draco uncover a familiar new film called “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” they learn that the wizarding world may not be as well hidden as they thought.

23. DIVINATION FOR SKEPTICS [ OLIVIEBLAKE ]

The latest in magical advancements is an enchantment that reveals the bearer’s romantic compatibility with another person. Effectively eliminating uncertainty from dating, the charm can tell you whether or not you’ve found The One with a precise, Hermione Granger-approved calculation of traits and preferences. It’s a foolproof method of predicting relationship happiness. It’s also, for Hermione, positively dreadful news.

24. Isolation [ Bex-chan ]

He can't leave the room. Her room. And it's all the Order's fault. Confined to a small space with only the Mudblood for company, something's going to give. Maybe his sanity. Maybe not. "There," she spat. "Now your Blood's filthy too!"

25. Hunted [ Bex-chan ]

Forced to work together when their old schoolmates start dying, Hermione & Draco must overcome their differences to solve the mysterious deaths. The tension in the office is getting rather...heated.

If you reached to this part.

HEY THERE!

Feel free to message me on instagram if you ever feel the need to fan girl, I do too most of the time.

#dramione #draco x oc #draco malfoy #draco x hermione #harry potter #hogwarts #fanfic

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romaxnogersav · 4 years

Text

Lover Of Mine

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, smut, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, oral (female receiving), a bit of fluff (If I’ve missed something, please do let me know)

Word count: 4437

Summary: He made a mistake, one he was never going to repeat.

A/N: My initial intention for this was to be angsty and feelings heavy, but somewhere along the way smut got involved, unintentionally so. It’s my FIRST time writing smut (please be gentle). This is honestly just an experiment of my reach as a fanfic writer, of trying new things out.

Song: Inspiration for this is Lover of Mine by 5SOS. I really wanted to work a song of theirs into a fic or a one shot in this case. I was listening to this one and inspiration struck and voala.

Tags: @jtargaryen18 and thank you for your support and kindness, it’s what’s actually pushing me to post this right now 💕

English isn’t my first language, so i do apologize if there are any mistakes!

Story graphic is made by me!

Enjoy I guess! 💫

He could hardly remember what went down. One moment you were talking, and the next you were fighting, yelling at each other. You’ve had fights before, arguments, but never to that extent.

The tension was unbearable, suffocating. You could hardly stand the sight of each other.

You were fighting and yelling. Bad words were exchanged. It ended with your cheeks stained in tears, hands trembling. His eyes glassy and hair messy.

“We aren’t healthy for each other at the moment.” you had said, and before he realized it, you were upstairs in your bedroom, packing a bag or two, shoving clothes carelessly.

When he finally comprehended what was happening, you were already down, a suitcase and a shoulder bag ready. With your keys and clothes in hand, you turned to give him one last look, a tight little smile.

“I’m going to miss you, but being together only pulls us down. We need some time,” you told him, and after getting into your car you pulled away.

That was three weeks ago. He realized it, a little too late though, that you weren’t the one at fault, but he was. He had been so sucked up in his job, that he would often neglect you the past couple of months, and then say that it was your fault when really it wasn’t.

And maybe you were right. You really needed some time apart. Chris’ mind had been clouded that day, it still kind of was. But he knew better now, his behavior wasn’t exceptional.

He hoped, even prayed that day, for you to stay, even if he had done so silently. Even in the state of his imminent change, the one you said you’ve been seeing for the past few months, he hoped for you to stay.

He still remembered all the nights you spent dancing around the living room after dinner and a bottle of wine. How lost he would get in the sight of you, late at night or early in the morning. He has seen all of your red, your confidence and energy, but he has also seen your blue’s. Your hardest moments, being pulled down and under. He has listened to all of your secrets, more than once. He never let you lie to him, he only ever wanted for you to show him who you were.

With a sigh, he stood up from the chair and fumbled for his phone. He desperately needed to talk to you, he needed to say what he needed to say. Three weeks was a long time. Three weeks with no communication? Even longer.

He searched for your contact and when he finally found it, he stopped himself. What if you didn’t want to talk to him? Well, he had no choice, he needed to talk to you.

He pressed the call button and waited. He half expected you to hang up, so when you picked up, he exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

“Hello?” Your voice was the same, gentle and light. He has missed your voice, but he has missed you more.

“H-hi Y/N. How have you been?” He almost cursed himself. How have you been? Come on, you idiot you can do better. Did he even have the right to ask you how have you been? He had caused all of this in the first place.

“I’ve been okay,” you told him and he could almost picture you biting your lip, a nervous habit you’ve had since being a teen. He knew though, that you weren’t as okay as you played it to be. If this has been weighing down on him, it has been on you too. “What about you? How have you been?” You asked in turn, not because it was the right thing to do, but deep down you cared, even when you were on break.

“Fine, I’ve been fine. Listen, um can we meet somewhere? Maybe you can come home? I just, I really need to talk to you.” Even though the phone, with only his voice in your ear, you could picture his look. You were sure he looked like a kicked puppy. You exhaled and he could almost hear you thinking, the gears in your head-turning.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Chris. Last time we spoke, we said some pretty nasty things to each other,” you whispered. You wanted to go, you really did, but you didn’t think you were ready. You were scared of another fight.

“Please?” He pleaded, voice small, broken maybe. “I need to see you. I have things to say,” he said, moving a hand through his hair and messing it up even more.

You were torn, you wanted to see him, you wanted to talk to him and hear him out. You missed him a lot, three weeks with no contact was hard. You’ve been staying with a friend since your fight. You’ve been down, you even had a few pretty dark days at first. You were crying yourself to sleep sometimes, you didn’t like it, you didn’t like fighting with Chris. On the other hand, though, you were scared. You were scared of this turning into another fight, of making your relationship worse than it already was.

You swallowed hard, your mind, and your heart in battle. Your mind said no, but your heartbeat in a yes. With an exhale you spoke.

“Okay, I’ll come by after work if that’s okay.” you were still having doubts, but you had to hear him out. He was making an effort, so you should too.

“Yeah, that’s good. I’ll see you later then.” He still talked quietly, as if scared you’d change your mind.

“I’ll see you later Chris,” you told him and hung up the phone.

Chris exhaled and moved around. You’d said yes, you were giving him a chance to talk to you, now it was up to him to patch that gap between you.

---

It was past seven, and Chris was pacing around the living room. Dodger was curled up on the couch, watching him with curious and questioning eyes. Even he knew there was something wrong. He hasn’t felt his favorite presence, aside from Chris’ in a long time. Even the canine knew there was something going on.

Chris moved a hand through his hair, messing it up even more than it already was. He’s been running his hands through it all afternoon. It looked messy and unkempt.

He was about to check the time again, even though he had done so less than 5 minutes ago when the doorbell rang. Dodger’s ears pricked from his place on the couch.

Chris stopped his pacing and moved towards the door, with Dodger close behind him. When he reached the door, he stopped again and took a deep breath. There we go. He told himself and pulled open the door.

You were there, with your hands in your jacket’s pockets. You looked almost the same, save for the dark circles under your eyes. Even with those, you still looked beautiful to him. You wore little makeup, like always and your hair was straightened framing your face. God, how has he missed you. All he wanted to do, was step forward and pull you to him. Hug you, touch you, kiss you, have you. To be close to you, to be able to smell the scent you had, vanilla, and something that was you and you only.

“Hey,” you said the moment he opened the door, a small smile on your lips.

“Hi,” he said back and moved to the side to let you in. When Dodger saw you, he barked, his tail moving around and he moved closer to you. You crouched and started petting him, scratching him behind the ears. He moved closer, licking your face and making you laugh.

“I’ve missed you too Bubba,” you told him, giving him small kissed of your own. Chris watched the exchange and couldn’t help but smile. You looked so small, so childlike, and happy to see the dog, he didn’t want to say anything. He didn’t want to see you unhappy.

Soon you stood up and turned towards him.

“You wanted to talk?” You asked him, bringing his attention back to the matter at hand. He nodded and moved towards the living room. You sat on the couch, the same one you cuddled on, kissed on. You removed your jacked and left your bag on one of the armchairs.

“You want something to drink?” He asked standing on the other side of the living room.

“No, thank you,” you told him. He moved towards you, rounding the coffee table in front of the couch. Chris sat opposite you, his body towards you. He played with his fingers, his own anxious habit. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing and then he looked right into your eyes.

“I want to apologize. You were right, I’ve been neglecting you, I’ve been neglecting our relationship. I’ve been so focused on my job, and all the other things I have going on, I left you behind, and I’m sorry. My behavior wasn’t exceptional, and shifting the blame on you wasn’t right. I know that, and yet I said all those ugly things to you and for that too, I’m sorry. I’ve been raised better and I should have just listened to you and gave you the opportunity to tell me everything, instead of going on and on as I did.” He started, never averting his gaze from yours because that was the kind of man he was.

“I could have handled it better, and maybe the whole thing wouldn’t have turned out as it did. I’ve been thinking since you left three weeks ago. I don’t like fighting you and not having you here was hard. But being apart, while heartbreaking, gave me the opportunity to think over what happened. To work on myself and be myself again. It gave me the opportunity to understand what I made. I’ve missed you Y/N, I’ve missed you a lot.” His voice was coming lower and lower by the minute. His eyes were glassed over and his cheeks had the smallest shade of red on them.

You had missed him too. Even with all the hurt, you experienced from your fight and his words, it hurt, even more, to be away from him.

“I’ve missed you too Chris,” you said as quietly. He took in a shaky breath in and spoke again.

“I had the time to understand my mistakes. Of course, I wasn’t right about turning things on you, blaming you for things I shouldn’t have, but my biggest mistake? That was letting you go, even if it was for a little.” He reached towards you and took your hand in his. His hand was bigger, warmer. It fit your whole, almost swallowing it.

“I promise you, if you give me the chance, the chance to show you how sorry I am, if you give me a second chance, I’ll do better. I’ll no longer put you behind, leave you out. You’ll be as much present as everything else, and you’ll never be overlooked again. You didn’t deserve it, not my behavior, not being ignored, you don’t deserve to be unhappy. And I’m sorry if I made you unhappy if I’ve left you heartbroken. God Y/N I’m so sorry darlin’. I don’t deserve you, you deserve to be treated better, with more respect.” His tears started falling freely, and so did yours. Sure, you really were sad, heartbroken because of what happened, but it looked like he was too. He looked so small, vulnerable. His hair was messy and his eyes lacked that brightness you’ve gotten so used to. The color in them was just a tad fainter and that made you even more heartbroken. You were suffering, and so was he.

His other hand moved to your cheek, catching one of your tears with his thumb. His thumb brushed against it, with small, gentle movements.

“If you give me another chance,” he started with a voice no louder than a whisper, “I promise, I’ll never give you away, I already made that mistake once, and I’m not going to do it again. If only you would forgive me.“ his eyes shone, even with the sun setting outside, and the fresh wave of tears. His eyes shone with hope, with the hope that you’d say he was forgiven.

He hasn’t stopped looking in your eyes since you sat down, and he was searching them now. His thumb was still moving back and forth, and the hand that held you own brushed against your knuckles.

He was waiting for you, to say something, to tell him what he hoped to hear. You missed him, you loved him, and one obstacle in the way wouldn’t and couldn’t change that. Yes, he fucked up, but he owned up to it, he apologized and he promised you, he wouldn’t let you go again. And Chris? He always kept his promises, no matter what.

You reached up, cupping his cheek and brushing a fresh trail of tears with your thumb.

"I forgive you,” you whispered, a small smile on your face when his eyes widened a bit and brightened.

“Yeah?” He asked, a tiny smile finding its’ way on his lips.

“Yeah.” you nodded, returning his smile. He pulled you against him. His lips met yours, moving gently, but it quickly turned more heated. His hand sneaked to the back of your head, tilting it a bit, and his other moved to your waist. He deepened the kiss, nibbling at your lip, asking you to open your mouth. You met his request, opening your mouth a bit, letting him in. His tongue pushed in, pulling a moan from you. He moved urgently, catching up for lost times. His beard scratched, burned, but in a good way.

His hands moved towards your rear. He gave it a squeeze, then he moved you off the couch and into his lap. Your legs fell open on either side of him. You could feel yourself growing wet with every movement of his lips and every squeeze he gave you. His length was hardening under you, making it known how much he wanted you, how much he had missed you.

You ground your hips against him, pulling a grunt from him, feeling his cock twitch in his pants.

His lips moved down and over your jaw, neck, towards that one spot behind your ear that made your whole body shudder. When his lips found it, it sent a jolt of electricity through you. You breathed out, your hand twisting in his hair, pulling just a bit.

Suddenly he stood, a yelp left you at the sudden movement. With his hands at the backs of your tights, and his mouth busying itself with your neck, he made his way upstairs to the bedroom. Upon entering, he closed the door and moved towards the bed. He set you down, crawling over you, shielding your body with his.

His lips moved over yours, his hands going down to tug at the end of your sweater. With your help, he took it off, throwing it somewhere on the floor. His lips moved down again. He left kiss after kiss on your collarbone. Soon his lips moved over your breast, kissing the flesh that was peeking out. His hands moved behind you, finding the clasp of your bra and unclasping it. He removed the material off of you, leaving your upper body bare.

“God I’ve missed you so much darlin’.” He told you and moved his head down again. He laid small, feather-like kisses all over your left breast, before his mouth moved over the hardened peak, taking it in. You arched your back into him, a sigh escaping your lips. God, you have missed him, you’ve missed this. His touch, his affection, his kisses. He pulled, and licked, swirling his tongue around the little bud. One of his hands kneaded the flesh of your right breast, the motion making your head spin. You were growing wetter with every moment he used his skilled mouth. His erection was pressing into your tight, making it evident he wanted this just as much as you did.

He pulled off with a pop, moving to your other breast, giving it the same attention. You were burning with need, the need for him. You tugged at his hair, wanting to pull him up towards you, but he had other plans.

Moving away from your chest, he prepped kisses down your ribs and belly. When he reached your jeans, he unzipped them. You moved your hips, helping him remove them from you. Pulling them down along with your panties, you were soon standing fully bare in front of him. His pupils were blown wide, the blue in his eyes darker. His hands laid atop your tights, pulling them open.

“Beautiful” he murdered, his hands massaging your tights. He lowered himself on his stomach between your open legs, leaving kisses on the insides of your thighs until he reached the place they connected. He breathed in, moving his head forward and kissing your mound. His tongue darted out, licking a long stripe from your entrance to your clit. He wrapped his mouth around the nub, sucking it gently.

You gasped, your hips moving up in bliss. His arm sneaked around your stomach, settling on your pelvis to prevent you from moving. His mouth played with you, switching between sucking and licking. Your hand was wrapped in his hair, pulling at the strands, occasionally getting a groan from him that vibrated all the way to your belly. His beard burned in the best way imaginable.

You were squirming, trying to get some more friction. The hand that was seated on the inside of your knee, keeping your legs open moved up towards your private parts.

His thumb glazed your clit and a gasp left your lips, your eyes shutting closed. His middle finger teased your opening for a few seconds and then pressed in.

“Chris" you breathed out, pulling at his hair with one hand, the other fisting the duvet under you. He pumped his finger slowly and soon after he added a second one. He stretched you nicely, prepping you for what’s to come, but also showing his affection.

With his mouth sucking on your clit, and the motion of his fingers, them glazing against your sweet spot occasionally, you felt your climax nearing you. The burn low in your belly was enough indication.

With a few more pumps of his fingers and a couple more sucks, you felt the knot in your belly snap. You gasped loudly, your eyes screwing shut and your hand fisting the duvet harder, your thighs shaking. Chris guided you through it, placing small feather-like kisses on your pelvic bone and moving his fingers gently.

When your breath started going back to normal and you started coming down from your high, Chris withdrew his fingers. He moved up and over you, his lower body still between your open legs. He kissed you, sharing the taste of you. Your hands moved down his chest towards his jeans, touching the hard mussels on his abdomen. You unzipped the material, tugging at it until Chris got the hint.

He quickly took the piece of clothing off of him, pulling his boxer briefs off as well. He moved over you again, resuming his position between your thighs. He leaned over you, kissing you again.

One of his hands intertwined with yours next to your head, while the other took his cock, pumping the hardened flesh, smearing the bids of pre-come on the slit.

He positioned himself, moving the tip up and down your entrance, coasting it with the juices from the orgasm you just had. He pulled his lips from yours, looking at your face, your eyes. He entered you, eyes locked with yours. The stretch of him was familiar, filling you up inch by delicious inch. He pushed in slowly, letting you enjoy the feeling. When he was seated to the hilt, he stilled, letting you adjust to his size. His free hand moved to your cheek, his thumb moving over your lips.

When you wiggled your hips against him, he knew that he could move. He started out slow, building things up gently. He wasn’t that big, but he was thick and it was slightly uncomfortable at first before you got used to it and all you could feel was the pleasure.

With his hand in yours and his other on your hip, he pulled all the way out, leaving only the tip of his cock in, and then pushed back in. He moved at a gentle pace, savoring in the feeling of your walls wrapped around his length. Savoring at the feeling of having you here, looking at you, and being buried in you after three long weeks.

You reached your nails against his side where you were holding onto him.

“Faster” you breathed out, legs wrapping around his waist, locking them on the small of his back. The new position gave him the opportunity to dive dipper into you, and he obliged. His hips started snapping faster, his cock penetrated deeper.

His eyes were on you, seeing you swim in bliss. He was moving fast, your breasts bounced with each of his trust, and your hair was framing your face beautifully. He could watch you all day, and he intended to do so. You were here again, in his arms and you forgave him, so that was all that mattered.

His tip was glazing that spot deep inside you, making your whole body shudder and gasp loudly at the sensation. He felt your walls clamping down on him hard. He knew you were getting closer, and he also knew he wouldn’t last much longer too.

The hand holding onto your hip moved between you. His thumb pressed against your clit, moving in tight circles.

“Chris, I’m-” you started, a moan stopping you, the sensation of him too much.

“I know. Come on darlin’, come for me. I’m right here, come on” he whispered, bending down a bit, his lips inches from yours. That was all you needed. With a few more drags of his cock against you, your orgasm washed over you, making you see white. You screamed, your eyes screwing shut, your hand squeezing Chris’, your walls squeezing his length.

He continued circling your clit, his trusts becoming uneven and sloppy. With a few more powerful thrusts and one final hard push in, he stilled. A grunt left his lips, his seed spilling into you. He fell over you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

Both of you breathed hard. Your hand sneaked up, running your fingers through his dampened hair. You relished in the feeling of being together, the warmth he radiated, even if you were both covered in a sheen of sweat.

When you got your breathing under control, he lifted his hands and prepped your whole face with kisses. You were laughing, holding onto him, but you weren’t trying to push him away. You actually liked it. It had been three weeks and you had missed him so much. You had missed his childness and how silly he got, how cute he looked after a round of sex. How seated and relaxed he was. He kissed you gently and then pecked your lips a few times.

“Be right back.” He whispered and moved up. He pulled out of you, making you whine at the loss, then he walked towards the bathroom. You laid back and closed your eyes for a second. You heard the water running and then his footsteps.

When you opened your eyes, he was looming over you. He was holding a washcloth, one he ran over himself first. Then he used it to clean you, the warm cloth running over your sensitive parts, making you breathe out. He cleaned the sides of your thighs and then he moved back towards the bathroom. He emerged a second later, moving towards you again.

He pulled the covers of the bed off, settling you both under them. He pulled you against him, his arm wrapping around your waist. Your head laid on his chest, an arm draped over his torso. He wrapped both his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.

You sat in silence for a while, his hands running up and down your back and hair, and yours lightly tracing the tattoos on his chest.

“You know” he started, his fingers tracing patterns on your back. You looked up at him and saw his forehead scrunch up a bit. You ran your fingers over the flesh, smoothing the lines out. “When I look at everything in my life, and all of my mistakes, aside from family, you are the only thing I think I’ve got right. Even with everything else I have in my life, you are the one thing making it right” he said quietly, then bend down and captured your lips in his. You sighed into the kiss, moving your hand up and down his chest. If felt so right, being here with him, in his arms, holding him.

He pulled away, pressing his forehead to yours.

“I love you Y/N.,” he said in a whisper, a small smile on his lips.

“I love you too Chris,” you whispered back, pecking his lips a few times, making him laugh.

You settled back down against him. With his arms wrapped around you and your head on his chest, you could hear his heartbeat, strong and steady. The warmth seeping from him made you relax even more.

“I’ll never give you away again, ‘cause I already made that mistake. I promise sweetheart,” he told you, kissing the crown of your head and laying his cheek against it afterward. You sighed, happy to be here.

Yes, he wasn’t perfect and you weren’t too. You made mistakes, but mistakes helped you learn, mistakes built you as a person. The important thing was, that this was a mistake he learned from. A mistake he intended to never make again.

He loved you, and you did too. You were his lover, and he was yours. He’d be a fool not to let you know how much you meant to him, how much he cared about you. It wasn’t intentional, but regardless, it was a mistake well learned.

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