#23.49 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

telomeke-bbs · 8 months

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BAD BUDDY'S BASEBALL MOM – ROOFTOP RUGBY WITH LUCY IN THE SKY… OR ON A BASEBALL DIAMOND?

One of the most mystifying aspects of Bad Buddy was the decision to have Pat wear the now-iconic Baseball Mom tee for the Epic Rooftop Kiss at the end of Episode 5.

It's so utterly incongruous with the drama onscreen. The scene was a pivotal moment for the narrative, with Pat's big coming out to Pran followed by the very steamy demonstration of mutual emotions, after episodes of unending turbulence around where they stood with each other. And The Kiss they delivered was so stupendous, it rocked the Internet to its very foundations.

And for that hugely important moment, Director Aof decided Pat should wear – a big woman's t-shirt more associated with loud, overzealous American moms cheering on their kids at Little League baseball? 👀

At first I thought production simply wanted something open and sporty for Pat, to contrast with Pran being all covered up (mirroring their states of mind – Pat actively seeking to confess his feelings on the rooftop, Pran all closed-off and repressed). That line of thinking was definitely behind a lot of Pat and Pran's outfits, and I assumed they just used a random tee and cut off its sleeves for this.

But in retrospect this seems altogether too blasé an approach, especially since we can see how purposeful the wardrobe decisions were throughout the rest of the series. (The Soon Vijarn Recap video for BBS Ep.5 also makes it very clear Director Aof was closely involved in wardrobe selection, choosing all the outfits for their appropriateness to the narrative – see this link here, at timestamp 23.24.)

(above) The Soon Vijarn Recap video for BBS Ep.5 timestamp 23.49

The examples of the wardrobe reflecting the characters' inner states are copious. Pran's emotional journey in the first half of BBS – learning to open up, getting his feelings returned, and falling into a relationship – was mirrored by his sartorial journey, and he went from all colorless and buttoned-up to a wardrobe filled with more relaxed, expressive and colorful outfits when out in public:

(above) Pran all buttoned-up in his early whites (Ep.2 [1I4] 1.56, Ep.3 [1I4] 12.40 and Ep.5 [1I4] 6.03)

(above) A selection of Pran's more relaxed and colorful sweaters that he wore outside later in the series (Ep.7 [3I4] 2.52, Ep.10 [3I4] 0.26, Ep.12 [3I4] 6.36 and Ep.12 [4/4] 10.14)

Loud extrovert Pat on the other hand was decked out almost from the beginning in bright prints and wacky t-shirts (with some rivaling Baseball Mom in wackiness), all the better to broadcast his outgoing character and personality:

(above) A selection of Pat's bright and wacky tops (Ep.2 [2/4] 5.03, Ep.6 [3I4] 4.37, Ep.8 [2/4] 8.30 and Ep.10 [1I4] 4.52)

The mystery deepened further when the fandom tracked down the maker of Baseball Mom – it looks like a small, possibly home-based business in the US, and the t-shirt is part of a line, one of several related tops (see this link here). It simply wasn't a random tee from some small Bangkok shop (unless the vendor had gotten it secondhand off some American tourist, and was re-selling it locally). This looks like a t-shirt that was specifically procured for the show (possibly even sourced from overseas), rendered sleeveless with low-cut armholes to echo the openness of Pat's personality, and then put on Ohm with absolute intent.

But why?

I'm convinced that there is an element of subversion about this (not the least because the t-shirt undercuts the heavy drama of the scene so drastically). @ranchthoughts has already pointed out in this write-up linked here that the feminine Mom is an allusion to the subversion of gender roles embodied by Pat's character, and I very much agree. It's also possible that this particular tee was chosen because the baseball standing in for (and thus somewhat obscuring) the letter 'O' in the word Mom kind of makes the word call out to M🤍M or MLM. (And here's an afterthought that occured to me watching Only Friends and the promo trailer for My Golden Blood – the baseball bat is also visual shorthand for the emotional violence that Pat and Pran wreak upon their relationship when each figuratively beats up on the other – and on himself too – while acting out their strange, rambunctious relationship as enemies who are secret friends and later lovers.)

But I also do think that there's still more to Baseball Mom than the above, and this particular train of thought was triggered by an Ask from @pandasmagorica about Ep.5's rooftop scene (linked here).

I now think we can piece together a reason for Baseball Mom on the rooftop, but it's only fair to signal that this wackiest of wardrobe choices is getting possibly the wackiest of explanations (and it's a doozy).

Now what @pandasmagorica's Ask triggered for me was the realization that Pat's directness on the rooftop was actually almost the complete opposite of something that he'd been doing very often, right up until Episode 5 – and that was his propensity to torment Pran with the bait-and-switch.

Time and again, Pat would reach out with the offer of something precious to Pran – a smile, a kind word, a tender moment, a suggestion of intimacy – but then quite suddenly he would subvert the situation and switch out the proffered affection with something wholly discomfiting, crushing hopeful Pran's expectations.

There are several examples:

During their childhood, Pat returned Pran's watch after Pran saved Pa from drowning (Ep.1 [4/4] 9.46), signaling the start of his friendship with the lonely little boy next door – only to impose the caveat "But…don’t talk to me in front of people. They might think we're buddies."

That (almost shirtless) bedside conversation at the end of Ep.4 (beginning at Ep.4 [4/4] 10.43), when Pat kept bombarding poor Pran with personal, leading questions, half-begged to be allowed to share his bed and cuddle, before shattering his neighbor's heart by declaring that it was Ink whom he liked romantically.

Tending to Pran’s injured shoulder at Ep.4 [3I4] 7.07, before suggesting he only wanted Pran to recover so that they could compete in rugby again;

Returning Pran’s long-lost guitar to him, then ruining the tenderness of the moment with “I just like to see your face… when you lose” (Ep.3 [4/4] 10.30).

And with Pran deep in his feelings for Pat, the constant intimations of closeness and deeper feelings, shell-gamed away at the last minute, must have been soul-crushing for our poor yearning boy. (This is also what the lyrics of Pran's theme – Just Friend? – are all about, e.g., "I can’t make sense of what you’ve done"/"Are we just friends or are we more?"/"If you don’t mean it, don’t act that way".)

No wonder Pran was trying so hard to keep a distance from the cheerful boy next door, who was always invading his personal space (after having taken over his heart). So much so that Pran on the rooftop was expecting more of the same, which explains his blunt statement "Pat, you've got to stop doing this to me. We are not a thing" in response to Pat telling him that it hurt to see the song they co-wrote in high school played with someone else.

Pran saw this as more of Pat's teasing games, but irony of ironies Pat was being totally serious this time. And yet, even on the rooftop in Ep.5, Pat did a version of the bait-and-switch one more time, but with the polarity reversed for once – he listed all the ways Pran's exile should have brought him joy, only to end with "It was so depressingly lonely for me." 😢

I think Pat learnt early on that this is what you do to your loved ones – because there's actually an example of Ming doing something similar to his son at Ep.8 [2/4] 16.12. Helping to wash Pat's car, he quietly allowed his son to natter on about his day with fibs about rugby practice, before landing a sledgehammer blow saying "When did I teach you to lie?" at Ep.8 [2/4] 16.41. This was an ambush, intended to take Pat by surprise and inflict the maximum amount of damage – and judging by Pat's despondent moping after, Ming certainly succeeded.

But it's not only Pat doing this to Pran, or Ming doing this to Pat, that we see in BBS. Director Aof and his writers actually littered the narrative with other examples of the set-up and switch-out as well, doing it to us the viewers:

Pat may have started out Ep.1 a ruffian, but then we saw that he was really a cheery big kid who needed his popsicles and cuddles from Nong Nao for comfort (Ep.1 [4/4] 8.37 and Ep.2 [1I4] 1.36).

Ink was introduced as a demure girl from the north (remembering that northern Thailand is seen as close to the birthplace of Thai culture) in Ep.4 [1I4] 7.41; then she tripped and let out a curse word at Ep.4 [1I4] 8.01.

Pa's glow-up at Ep.7 [1I4] and subsequent story arc subverted her initial (albeit not very successful) portrayal as the frumpy kid sister with no life and no agency as a character.

BBS placed the emotional burden of Episodes 1 to 4 solely on Pran's pining shoulders, and then suddenly whipped it away in Ep.5 and dumped it squarely on Pat (kudos to Ohm, who gamely played Pat as a shining object of affection for the first third of BBS, before showing us that Junior Jindapat was so much more than a lovable, empty vessel himbo, and was instead someone who actually did possess an inner life that he could access).

And perhaps the biggest BBS bait-and-switch of all – Pran's unrequited love for inaccessible Pat turns out to be requited after all, but then without warning it's Pran who spins out of reach on the rooftop.

Looking at BL as a genre, the bait-and-switch is sometimes employed as a storytelling device to provide an unexpected dramatic twist (though whether or not it satisfies is debatable). For example there is the trap set for Lhong in TharnType, the aloof ice prince Sarawat turning out to have been carrying a torch for Tine in 2gether, and Nubsib's reveal in Lovely Writer as someone who also shared a past with Gene.

And if you think about it, all of Bad Buddy itself was kind of one big bait-and-switch as well. They set it up so that – at the start – it looked like the series would be shaping up into a run-of-the-mill, formulaic romance. The roadmap was laid out quite clearly – enemies to lovers, Romeo and Juliet or Kwan and Riam but the BL version thank you very much, star-crossed and kept apart by their warring families.

So we were expecting BBS to follow the usual romcom beats and rhythms, delivering the standard tropes, with the main storyline about how the enemies would fall in love against the odds, then find a way to beat the odds and stay together, or fall victim to it and be forever driven apart.

Except that Director Aof and his team pulled the rug out from under us time and time again, after setting this all up. The idea that Pat and Pran were enemies got turned on its head (they'd been secret friends since childhood). The process of falling in love didn't follow conventional beats at all – Pran was already in love, while Pat was… possibly already beset by emotions, just getting them all mixed up and projecting them onto Ink.

Instead of showing us the main couple falling for each other over the course of 12 episodes, this was firmly established by the end of Episode 5. Instead of their families being the primary conflict driving them apart, it was Pran's overthinking and emotional walls that drove a wedge between them in Episode 6. When family conflict finally did rear its head to threaten their relationship, well Pat and Pran just sidestepped it and carried on.

And the tropes? One by one they fell by the wayside as well. Ink turned up in Ep.4, looking like a formidable love rival for Pran (and he believed it too). Except that she wasn't the stereotype of the evil girlfriend at all – she turned out to be Pat's supportive bestie, while her eye (and camera) were focused on Pa instead. Any stereotypes overhanging macho Pat and pernickety Pran got subverted too, with Pat ditching sports practice for musical theater and Pran a credible street fighter and also a star player on his rugby team – so much for the seme and uke in this BL. The "gay for you" trope got put down (Ep.9 [2/4] 1.41), as was the "wifey" one (Ep.9 [4/4] 8.48). There are so many examples.

Even the end of Ep.11 was a bait-and-switch as well, when a large portion of the fandom was hoodwinked by Director Aof's Ep.12 preview into thinking that we were headed for a break-up. (Fortunately they switched it out for the happy ending that we got instead, thank goodness.)

There's so much of this going on, it seems as though BBS was actually celebrating the bait-and-switch (and in that way kind of subverting its use in BL as well). The thing is, nothing was ever what it seemed in Bad Buddy, and it was all intended to be so, from Day One, because it's solidly a thematic preoccupation underlying the series.

I now think Baseball Mom really plays into all of this glorification of and subversion with the bait-and-switch as a storytelling device. But in a really wacky way, as perhaps is only fitting for the wackiest of Pat's t‑shirts.

So looking back on decades of popular media, who's been crowned the Big Boss of the Bait-and-Switch, the Grand Poobah of Switcheroos, the Queen of the Short-Con, the House Mother of all Bamboozlers?

It’s this little lady right here: 😍

This is Lucy Van Pelt, from Charles Schulz's comic strip Peanuts. Lucy is many things in the Peanuts universe, but one thing she's iconic for is a bait-and-switch prank, where she holds a football and then goads Charlie Brown on to kick it. He usually takes a bit of convincing, but eventually he goes for it and at the last second, Lucy pulls the ball away and poor Chuck ends up kicking the air, sent flying in the process. It's a running gag in the comic strip, first appearing in 1952 and recurring every year after that:

So what's the link with Baseball Mom though?

Football aside, in Peanuts Lucy is also a member of Charlie Brown's baseball team – and significantly she's absolutely terrible at the game. She misses the easiest of pitches, and even when perfectly positioned she gets hit on the head by the ball instead of catching it in her mitt.

So while she may be totally, confidently in charge of the situation baiting Charlie Brown with the pigskin, when it comes to baseball instead of football – Lucy is completely out of her element.

The parallel with Bad Buddy is that master of the bait-and-switch Pat Napat Jindapat – the BBS manifestation of Lucy – was pulling different versions of the Charlie Brown football prank on hapless Pran over and over again, causing much anguish to the latter's battered heart.

But suddenly on the rooftop, the tables got turned and Pran pulled the big switcheroo on him instead – by confirming their mutual feelings with a kiss so dizzyingly sensational that Pat must have been delirious with happiness… only to send it all crashing down by abandoning him there without a word of explanation.

(above) Bad Buddy Ep.5 [4/4] 12.58 – an abandoned Pat stares uncomprehendingly as Pran walks away from the wreckage of their broken hearts

In that moment Football Lucy morphed into Baseball Lucy, from self-assured manipulator to incompetent klutz, all alone in right field when the ball came zooming in from way out left. And what better way to mark this moment than with a t-shirt loudly proclaiming Pat's newly-minted Baseball Lucy status on its front?

(above) The Baseball Mom graphic – BBS's own version of The Scarlet Letter

Yes, I know this explanation is outlandish; that's how it sounded to me too when it first took shape in my head. So I decided to test it, by looking for supporting information elsewhere in the context of Bad Buddy. And the findings are truly surprising. 👀

No characters from Peanuts actually appear (in canon form) within any of BBS's visuals (not that they could, I suppose, for licensing reasons). But Charlie Brown and his cohort of characters aren't unknown in Thailand – there is a Charlie Brown Café (79/335 แขวงช่องนนทรี เขตยานนาวา, Bangkok, Thailand, 10120) that was previously at MBK Centre and a Charlie Brown's Restaurant (315/303 ซ.นราธิวาส24 แขวง ช่องนนทรี Yan Nawa, Bangkok 10120, Thailand) at Belle Park Plaza/Fortune Condo Town:

(above left) Charlie Brown Café; (above right) Charlie Brown's Restaurant

And even though we don't directly see Charlie Brown, Lucy or any other Peanuts characters in BBS, there are oblique references. One of the more obvious ones alludes to Lucy's younger brother, Linus Van Pelt:

When we see Pran out in the world with his PP hobo bag (written up here) or Pat snuggled in bed with his beloved Nong Nao (written up here), we know by now that the bag and the stuffed doll-pillow are our boys' favorite comfort objects, providing psychological security even as they face their personal fears.

(above left) Bad Buddy Ep.2 [1I4] 3.01 – Pran and his PP hobo bag, that he deploys like a shield when outside; (above right) Bad Buddy Ep.2 [1I4] 1.37 – Pat cuddling Nong Nao for comfort when he's all alone

But another name for these comfort objects actually has a connection to Peanuts – they can also be called Linus blankets, after the security blanket that Lucy's brother carries around with him all the time. Just a coincidence? I'm not so sure. (I think it's also significant that all three objects have blue as their predominant color.)

There's also a nod at Charlie Brown himself later, on the rooftop in Ep.7 [4/4] – Pat's tee is an unmistakeable visual reference to Charlie Brown's signature yellow top with its zigzag motif:

(above left) Bad Buddy Ep.7 [4/4] 1.48; (above right) Charlie Brown in his own iconic t-shirt

After their roles were reversed on the rooftop at the end of Ep.5 (with Pran pulling the ultimate bait-and-switch move back on Pat by walking away after The Kiss), the mantle of Charlie Brown the football prank victim was thrust onto Pat instead, and that is what we see here in Ep.7.

The brand name emblazoned on Pat's t-shirt also rings some bells – it's Patriots, which immediately calls to mind the NFL team from New England, and is another nod at Lucy's American football. (There is also a Minor League baseball team called the Somerset Patriots based in New Jersey; not as well-known as their counterparts – compatriots? – a few states away, but still… 👀).

(above) Bad Buddy Ep.7 [4/4] 2.13

And looking a bit closer the Ep.7 scene on the rooftop (the last one to be filmed among all of Bad Buddy's queues) really starts to overflow with meaning because it's actually a parallel to Ep.5's rooftop bait-and-switch.

It's far too much to include here, so I've put it into its own separate post (see this write-up linked here) – the short of it is that Pat as Charlie Brown plays the bait-and-switch one last time on Pran in Ep.7, but for the very first time turns the last-second switch-out into a win for his beloved instead, rescuing Pran who was floundering with the musical. And this reversal of the bait-and-switch, a redemption of sorts, is what convinces Pran to end their courtship competition and enter into confirmed couplehood instead. 👍

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Now all that aside, there's still one more element in Bad Buddy that I think is a direct reference to Lucy's bait-and-switch in Peanuts – and that's all the rugby, doing its part as a stand-in for Lucy's American football.

(above) Bad Buddy Ep.4 [4/4] 2.04 – the boys face off on the rugby pitch

It would never have been possible to feature American (gridiron) football authentically in Bad Buddy (it's not a popular sport outside of North America, to be honest, and would have been totally alien in a Thai setting). So they shone the spotlight on rugby instead, most probably because the ball used for play there is ovoid and almost the same as the one used in American football – it seems like the rugby in BBS is pointing at Lucy and the American football she deviously deploys.

(top) Bad Buddy Ep.7 [2/4] 13.01; (bottom) Bad Buddy Ep.7 [2/4] 13.02

This would explain why Director Aof and his team opted to feature rugby instead of soccer –the latter is far more popular in Thailand, and would have been a more obvious choice. In addition, soccer would have been far easier to stage – all the BBS rugby scenes had to be filmed at a completely different campus from the primary uni location (Bangkok University instead of Rangsit University) because the latter doesn't seem to have a rugby pitch, though it does have a soccer one. In case you were wondering as I was, the goalposts are starkly different so they couldn't just pretend to play rugby on the soccer pitch – it would have been a terribly obvious fake-out if they had.

They couldn't substitute another team sport even if it was easier to accommodate, because rugby (or rather the ball) was integral to this aspect of the storyline. It needed to be rugby if the intention was to evoke Lucy's favorite weapon of torment.

Further evidence in support of this can be found when you look at the original (rough-draft promo) Bad Buddy trailer that was released in 2020 (I think) to promote the 2021 lineup, before actual filming of the series itself in mid-2021:

The rugby was present even at that early stage (and Toto was on Pat's team! 😂). But what's mindblowing is that they're actually using an American football (the AF500), not a rugby ball (you can tell from the laces, which modern rugby balls do not have). 👀 So the gridiron football was very much part of Bad Buddy's primordial DNA, way back at its inception, even before actual filming began. Another nod at Lucy in Peanuts here.

(above) A screenshot from the original Bad Buddy promo trailer at timestamp 1.48

(above) A screenshot from the original Bad Buddy promo trailer at timestamp 2.15

Now all of this is dandy I suppose, but even with Linus blankets, Pat dressed like Charlie Brown, the oval ball and BBS's insistence on rugby (masquerading as American football) over soccer, for the longest time the hardboiled skeptic in me still wasn't fully convinced that Pat wearing Baseball Mom was actually Lucy in disguise getting her comeuppance, Bad Buddy style.

UNTIL I DECIDED TO LOOK MORE CLOSELY AT THE RUGBY MATCH IN EPISODE 4. And that was the clincher, that cemented the intentionality behind Baseball Mom in my mind, because there actually is a sequence where Pat executes Lucy's signature bait-and-switch move, with the rugby ball standing in for an American football, and with Pran as his fall guy.

The sequence in question starts at Ep.4 [4/4] 3.33, when we see Pat running with the ball, coveted by Pran (in more ways than one).

(above) Bad Buddy Ep.4 [4/4] 3.33

Pran tackles him, but in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, Pat flicks the ball away and before any of us (Pran included) can realize what's happened, Korn is off and running with it instead (and I think he scores the rugby version of a touchdown too).

(above) Bad Buddy Ep.4 [4/4] 3.38

Meanwhile, Pat and Pran are still locked in a full-body clinch – and if you look closely, it's Pat who's actually holding on to Pran, not letting him go (with obvious delight, even if he's unaware of exactly why he's relishing the contact so much).

Much of Bad Buddy is really chaste, but there's something about this moment here that makes it seem like a line has been crossed, and that things have turned inexplicably raunchy somehow. There's full-body grappling, legs spread wide, crotch jammed to butt, a whole lot of heaving and panting. Pat is clearly enjoying every second, almost as though it’s the successful climax of his great big plan to waylay Pran with this bait-and-switch. And of course it's the perfect cue for him to deliver that now infamous, golden line: "If you hug me this tight, you might as well take me as your boyfriend." 😂

Actually Pat had been teasing and taunting Pran with hints of romance even before the game (going so far as to acknowledge that his behavior was flirtatious, at Ep.4 [4/4] 0.48) so it's impossible not to see that body tackle on the pitch as anything but a close encounter suffused with sexual tension – and Pran would of course be the first to notice it. (It's possibly also a subversion of the accidental "falling on you" trope, since it's at once contrived yet consensual.)

If you break it down, Pat used the ball to get Pran to tackle him, only to switch it out at the last minute with something else (close, practically intimate body contact) that poor Pran (drowning in his crush) would have found absolutely devastating. This is practically a playbook version of Lucy doing the football bait-and-switch with Charlie Brown.

To be honest though, I'd always found this rugby clinch a little odd and confusing, and had wondered why they even had this scene. It was logistically complicated to set up (two whole teams of players!), and the bait-and-switch portion would have been extremely tricky to choreograph and film. The whole rigmarole was also a lot of work for just a few seconds of screen time. That the ball slips away unseen also makes it seem anti-climactic for the viewer – but not for master gameplayer Pat, who successfully got his planned payload nonetheless.

And because he did it using Lucy Van Pelt's signature move, I now think the reason for this scene is for it to be held up as the paragon of Pat's bait-and-switch traps in Bad Buddy, and a parallel for the Epic Rooftop Kiss when Pran slaps the old switcheroo back on Pat instead.

On the rugby pitch Pat baited Pran by pulling away (with the ball), and then crushed his heart with physical intimacy (hugging him like a lover, but making it seem like he was only play-acting at returning Pran's love). On the rooftop Pran baited Pat with physical intimacy (The Kiss, proof to Pat that his feelings were returned), and then crushed his heart by pulling away (and taking with him all promise of his love).

Atop Chana City Residence at the end of Ep.5, perpetual prankster Pat couldn't stop himself and went in for the bait (Pran offering himself up romantically), only to see it whisked away from him at the very last second.

Suddenly the rules changed and Football Lucy, the House Mother of all bait-and-switch bamboozles, became the victim of the biggest bait-and-switch of them all, and was thrust into a different game instead. Bereft of Pran and denied his moment of victory, Pat became Baseball Mom indeed. 😔

(above) Bad Buddy Ep.5 [4/4] 13.06

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P.S. You can order Baseball Mom (the t-shirt, not Pat 😂) from Amazon at this link here. (If the link doesn't work, you may need to change your "Deliver To" location at the top left of the landing page on Amazon to another country – not useful if you want to buy it when they don't deliver to your location, but useful if you just want to view the page, or get them to deliver to a third party who can then forward it to you. If changing the location doesn't work, try following the other instructions in this post linked here.)

I suspect the fandom has been buying up Baseball Mom like crazy, because it went from limited stock and availability on Amazon (selected locations only), to becoming available for other global locations and on Walmart.com as well – so maybe demand from the BBS fandom has boosted sales so much they started marketing it on more channels? Thai BL soft power trickles down. 🥰👍

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P.P.S. OK, just a little aside – this Peanuts fan theory for Baseball Mom is really wacky, but I think the universe is telling me to put it out there anyway because just as I was finishing the write-up, this random post about the Peanuts football bait-and-switch appeared on my dashboard.

What are the odds of it crossing my dash at the same time I'm writing about it, when I've not seen it referenced before throughout my history on Tumblr, ever? (There were a few random Peanuts and Charlie Brown posts that appeared at the same time as well.) I'm not superstitious, but I do think the universe has spoken. 😂

#bad buddy #bad buddy baseball mom #bad buddy baseball mom t-shirt #bbs baseball mom #bbs baseball mom t-shirt #bbs lucy van pelt #bbs bait and switch #bad buddy bait and switch #patpran #bbs charlie brown #bbs linus van pelt #bbs linus blanket #bbs peanuts #bbs rugby #bad buddy analysis

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steddieholidayexchange · 3 months

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Secret Santa Shenanigans

For: @stardust-walker

Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson

Rating: Teens and Up

Wordcount: 9,795

Warnings: No Warnings Apply

Tags: Pining, Holidays, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, Secret Santa, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Drug Use, Recreational Drug Use, Gay Eddie Munson, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Lesbian Robin Buckley, No beta we die like Barb, Coming Out, Period-Typical Homophobia, Discussions of period-typical homophobia, nothing happens, THEY JUST TALK ABOUT IT

Summary:

It's the winter of 1986, the Upside Down is gone for good, and The Party is planning a New Year's Eve party to celebrate. And for Secret Santa Eddie gets...Steve Harrington. What is he supposed to do with only $23.49 to his name and a crush that he's struggling to keep secret?

This fic is a part of the @steddieholidayexchange

#steddie holiday exchange #steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie

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infllames · 1 year

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"acıya alışık olması, acımadığı anlamına gelmez. sadece acısını belli etmemeyi iyi bildiği anlamına gelir."

'23.49'

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girlbloggercher · 6 months

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shein dupes!

a lot of high end brands sell things for hundreds, sometimes even thousands of dollars. here are some cheap dupes i found for you guys! and if i'm being honest, most of the dupes are cuter than the originals!

1. Selkie: The Castle Pink Marshmallow Puffer

the original jacket costs $295! but, if you get the 'kawaii drop shoulder knot detail crop puffer coat' from shein, it only costs $23.49 during their sale and $33.49 normally.

2. Ugg: Classic Heritage Bow

you probably didn't even know how expensive uggs were since everyone has a pair, but the originals cost $170. don't worry, though, because the 'winter outdoor skiing & camping all-match snow boots for keeping warm' cost $29.50, and $11.88 if you get them before the flash sale is over in a few hours. but fear not, because this won't be shein's first or last sale.

3. Victoria's Secret: Satin Long Pajama Set Pink Stripes

victoria's secret may be considered "cheap" if you compare them to brands like gucci or chanel, but their prices are still pretty upsetting. the original? $115. shein sells pretty much the exact same thing for just $16.99.

4. My Mum Made It: Puffer Tote Bag

if you said that a square pink bag cost $114, then you're right. shein has the same thing with 3 straps and no logo for $19.08.

5. Michael Kors: Jet Set Carryall Tote Crossbody

okay, this isn't funny anymore. there's no way shein hasn't been sued yet. this isn't even the only michael kors-esque bag. there are more from the brand siyu1 bags & luggage. mk sells it for $129, but shein has it for just $16.10.

6. Viki Lynn: 925 Sterling Initial Necklace

remind you of anyone? that's not the point, the original necklace costs $15.99, which isn't expensive overall, but it is pretty expensive for a necklace that probably doesn't contain real silver or diamonds. shein has the 'letter charm necklace' for $1.30. yes you read that right.

7. Lululemon: Define Jacket

there are a few differences. like the fabric and pockets. but unless you're literally just buying the $118 lululemon jacket for the pockets and fabric, then you'll be fine. shein sells this for $14.99.

8. Crocs: Classic Clogs

unlike the majority the things on this list, crocs are less than $100, but you can still get them for cheaper. shein calls them the 'women's hollow out clogs with soft sole and solid color, lightweight slippers for indoor and outdoor, white sandals', but let's just call them croc dupes.

9. Tiffany & Co.: Double Heart Tag Pendant

this is literally the same necklace with a different logo.

10. Elsie Love: Clover Leaf Necklace

you've seen it all over pinterest, the $69.99 necklace. but shein sells a $2 one.

#that girl #wonyoungism #clean girl #glow up #coquette #health and wellness

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writingdotcoffee · 1 year

Text

100 Days of Writing

I just hit a 100-day writing streak 🎉. I started this one back in November last year. It feels pretty good.

My average daily word count is about 500 words. On two occasions I almost lost it. A couple weeks ago I woke up at 23.49 and realised I hadn’t written anything that day. I got up to write about 30 words on my phone and went back to sleep.

You might be asking, “what’s the point?” And you’re right — there’s really no point. Nobody cares whether you skip a day or not. As daft as it might be, playing this little game helps me get words on the page. That’s all that matters.

Let’s see if I can make it till 19 May and get 200 days.

#writing #writers #write #writing tips #writing advice #amwriting #writing life

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joachimnapoleon · 1 year

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Innocently browsing the PlayStation Store after work and—

What fresh hell is this?

…

Scrolling down to the screenshots to see how much worse this can get—

They want $23.49 for this, and I just don’t hate myself enough to pay it.

#☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️#for some reason I can imagine Fouché laughing from beyond the grave #Napoleon #Napoleon Bonaparte #video games

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moja-co · 1 year

Quote

5: あどかちゃん(福島県) [CN] 2023/04/03(月) 18:52:23.49 ID:YKTuSnoZ0 小西文書を崇めてた人達どんな気持ち？ 182: マウンちゃん(大阪府) [US] 2023/04/03(月) 19:32:15.59 ID:wBiIoalz0 >>5 安倍ガー！！！！

【悲報】立憲民主党、「小西文書」封印 https://hayabusa9.5ch.net/test/read.cgi/news/1680515432

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fedaedildiler · 1 month

Text

Çaresiz özleyiş

23.49

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fujikoi · 3 months

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Scaletta 1ª serata

20.44: Fanfara dei Carabinieri

20.47: Marco Mengoni annuncia l’inizio del Festival

20.48: Sigla + ingresso Amadeus

20.52: Clara

20.59: Sangiovanni

21.06: Fiorella Mannoia

21.12: Ospite da platea

21.17: La Sad

21.23: Pubblicità

21.29: Esibizione Marco Mengoni (Due vite)

21.39: Irama

21.45: Ghali

21.51: Pubblicità

21.57: Negramaro

22.03: Collegamento con Fiorello

22.10: Annalisa

22.16: Ricordo Giovanbattista Cutolo con la mamma Daniela

22.22: Pubblicità

22.28: Discesa Marco Mengoni (gag col cantante che inizia a lanciare oggetti dalle scale)

22.35: Mahmood

22.41: Ingresso Lazza

22.44: Diodato

22.49: Esibizione Lazza (Piazza Colombo)

22.55: Pubblicità

23.01: Omaggio Toto Cutugno (il piano inizia a suonare Gli amori e poi parte clip esibizione)

23.04: Federica Brignone

23.08: Loredana Bertè

23.14: Geolier

23.21: Fiorello in platea

23.25: Alessandra Amoroso

23.32: Telepromozione

23.35: Collegamento con palco galleggiante

23.36: Pubblicità

23.39: Esibizione Tedua (palco galleggiante)

23.43: The Kolors

23.49: Angelina Mango

23.55: Pubblicità

23.59: Esibizione Marco Mengoni (medley)

00.16: Il Volo

00.22: BigMama

00.28: Pubblicità

00.34: Ricchi e Poveri

00.40: Emma

00.46: Renga e Nek

00.52: Pubblicità

00.58: Mr. Rain

1.04: Collegamento con Radio2

1.06: bnkr44

1.12: Gazzelle

1.18: Dargen D’Amico

1.24: Collegamento con l’Aristonello

1.29: Rose Villain

1.35: Finto monologo Marco Mengoni

1.38: Pubblicità

1.44: Santi Francesi

1.50: Fred De Palma

1.56: Maninni

2.02: Alfa

2.08: Il Tre

2.12: Top Five Sala Stampa

2.18: Amadeus va da Fiorello

2.20: Fine puntata

#sanremo #fiorello #amadeus #marco mengoni

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lettersfromaphrodite · 10 months

Text

[23.49]

― pairing : Wonwoo x fem! reader ― content warnings : fluff, wolf au, wonwoo is a witch, reader is a wolf, medieval settings ― word count : 2.800 ― notes : ⚠️ this fic doesn not mean I will start writing series for seventeen as well! I love them a lot but my brain wouldn’t handle writing for 13 people… But Wonwoo lives in my life rent free although he’s not even my bias so here goes nothing⚠️

― notes : this fic looks familiar?it is! I’m reposting ALL my works on this brand new blog and therefore please, bear with me! as always, askbox is always open and feedbacks are always welcome 💌

It happened on the third day you had silently returned to your house right next to the woods; you were hunting for something to eat, when all of a sudden, in the distance, you saw him.

Wonwoo was lazily walking around while the dark green cloak he was wearing was obediently following his movements, his eyes analysing the grass while looking from some kind of herb, and you guessed that he must have embraced his warlock side; unlike him, you knew he could use magic – when you were kids he loved to show you all the spells he learnt, but Wonwoo didn’t know about you being a wolf.

Since you were both very young when you left your village, sometimes you wondered what he would have done if he ever found out that you could shift into another creature, but you felt like laughing at yourself for your own naive thoughts. After all, Wonwoo had always made you feel at ease, and he had always made you feel safe; you were certain that he would have accepted it easily. Would he?

Among the things you absolutely hated the most, hunters were definitely on top of the list, especially because they always found creative ways to camouflage their traps.

Despite it’s been more than ten long years since the first time you learnt how to properly shift into a wolf, and despite the fact you had always been careful while wandering through the woods, you had to admit to yourself that you have been an absolute idiot.

Probably, you were just genuinely happy to have returned to your village after such a long absence imposed by your mother, who was both extremely happy because in your family, only women were able to shift into wolves, but also extremely worried since she didn’t want you to hurt anyone on accident before you were completely sure to be able to tame your wolf side. Probably, you have been genuinely taken aback from the sight of your long time crush wandering in the woods as if he was walking in starlight.

Although you wanted to remain where you were – strategically hidden behind an oak tree, and enjoy the sight of Wonwoo strolling through the woods, you realized that your priority, at the moment, was to head back home and tend your wounds; even though your reflexes prevented your foreleg to completely be stuck into the iron toothed trap, you had been roughly scratched by it, and leaving traces of fresh blood all around the place definitely was not a wise option.

On his behalf, Wonwoo definitely was not naive; he had been walking through the woods for years, and he quickly realized that he was not alone. Unbeknownst to you, the warlock kept his attention focused on the general direction where you were, and therefore, he easily noticed when you decided to head the opposite way.

«Hey, wait.» you heard Wonwoo’s deep voice gently call for you; instinctively, you stopped in your tracks, wincing in pain as you slightly lifted your right foreleg, hoping in vain for the latter not to notice that you were hurt.

«It’s okay,» he called out again, easily closing the distance between the two of you, walking around your frame and crouching down in front of you – almost purposely making himself smaller and an easy target, just to make you feel less threatened; the warlock’s dark green cape was now crumpled on the ground, and the small basket full of herbs he was carrying with himself was right next to his left knee, «I won’t hurt you, I promise.» he kept talking with a gentle voice, as if he already knew that wolves understood human language, since part of them could shift into a human form, while the ones who couldn’t shift, simply got used to constantly hear human language.

Eventually, you walked closer to him, trying not to push too much of your weight on your injured limb as best as you could; for whatever reason, you were almost shy to meet his eyes, as if you were embarrassed about tripping directly into a hunter’s cage because you were secretly happy to see him.

Wonwoo carefully followed your moves with a small frown, which immediately turned into a gentle expression as soon as your nose was few inches from his.

«You must be a new one, I haven’t seen you around before.» he spoke balancing his elbows on his knees, and carefully studying your frame; again, you avoided meeting his gaze. In your human form, you had a scar on your left cheek; a permanent reminder of that day when you were seven years old, playing hide and seek with Wonwoo as the two of you decided to adventure in the woods. A scar that of course was meant to show on your wolf form as well, in an ugly line of missing fur right under your left eye.

Unbeknownst to you, Wonwoo’s eyes lingered on that small scar, but your brain was still processing a particular sentence he had just spoke; were there other wolves around? By all meant you were trespassing someone’s territory.

“This is definitely not good.” you thought, the last thing you wanted was to challenge some alpha over a territory. But, however, if there was really a pack of wolves around, why didn’t you felt anything? Usually, an uneasy feeling would spread in your stomach, almost as you felt anxious about intruding someone’s home without authorization.

«Can I see that wound?» Wonwoo asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts, and stupidly enough, you instinctively met his gaze. Although the warlock had definitely grown into a handsome young man, you noticed that one thing had remained just as when the two of you were kids: his glasses seemed to continuously threaten to fall off his nose, which made him appear extremely cute and adorable, despite his sharp features.

However, what made your heart race was a very definite feeling within your soul; Wonwoo met your gaze and your soul felt calm, as if you were howling at the moon in a summer night.

“He’s my soulmate.” you thought. Wonwoo extended his hand towards you, and you sat on the ground, placing your injured paw on the palm of his hand; he carefully analysed it, his fingertips gently moving around the fur over the wound, before eventually, you saw his eyes flashing a bright golden colour. The warlock quietly mumbled few words which you couldn’t understand, and before you realized it, the pain you had felt had completely stopped.

«All done, make sure to pay attention around here.» he gently commented, and you immediately ran home with a racing heart.

Whether that night you laid in bed in your human form, staring at your right hand without managing to fall asleep, that’s a secret for only you to know.

Within the following days you had met Wonwoo almost on a daily basis, although – when you were by yourself, you kept avoiding walking too close to the village while being in your human form; sometimes, you had the feeling that Wonwoo suspected something, but how could he? He couldn’t read your mind, could he?

“I wonder if he feels different, if he missed me,” you silently questioned yourself as your thoughts wandered on dangerous territories, “I wonder if he will accept me as his mate.”

A month later, Wonwoo had basically turned you into his familiar; it wasn’t rare for you to spend your days in his garden as he was either busy creating some strange looking potion or doing the laundry, but nevertheless, anytime he asked you whether you wanted to go to the village with him, you always refused, immediately going back home. “It’s not my territory.” you reminded yourself every time.

Spring afternoons were extremely relaxing, and strangely enough, the small section of grass in Wonwoo’s little garden seemed to be more comfortable than all the wild grass which covered the woods. The warlock was on his knees, palatially leaned over a wide wooden basin filled with warm water, as he was patiently washing his sheets; you were laying on your side, casually glancing at him – wondering why he wasn’t using magic in the first place, while fighting the urge to drift off to sleep.

As you were about to fall into the temptation of losing yourself into slumber’s embrace, you felt few droplets of water land on your nose; your eyes curiously opened, and Wonwoo sprinkled some water towards you once again, using his fingertips. Instinctively wrinkling your nose, you squeezed your eyes, placing your left paw on his thigh and pushing forward – trying to ignore how firm his thighs actually were, with the secret goal to make him fall on the ground for interrupting your nap time; Wonwoo laughed softly, adjusting his glasses while using his wrist, and you felt your heart swell. You loved being around Wonwoo, especially as a wolf; actually, you were certain that you would have loved being around him even as a human, but you still didn’t gather enough courage to tell him that you had came back.

Few hours later, the warlock was sitting next to you, leaning back so that his weight was placed on his left hand, while he was gently brushing your soft fur with his right hand; however, his fingertips dangerously lingered over the scar on your face, and you kept your eyes tightly closed.

Wonwoo used to caress it when you were kids, a tender brush of his fingertips which you probably wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t looking at him anytime he did that; the warlock had just did the same thing, and your heart immediately picked up pace.

Wonwoo knew it was you.

«You are a wolf,» you spoke, your index finger pointed to your own reflection in the mirror in a threatening way, «you could literally eat him in one – two bites!» you steadily went on with your rambling, asking yourself why were you supposed to be scared of telling Wonwoo that you were mates, and not finding an answer to your own cowardice.

Since the afternoon the warlock had caressed your scar, you had carefully avoided to go in the places he usually roamed in, and therefore, you haven’t seen Wonwoo for more than a week; you wondered if the longing feeling which almost completely filled your soul was completely due to the soulmate bond, and moreover, you wondered if he missed you as well.

«Maybe he has someone?» you questioned yourself, before immediately shaking your head with a frown; you’ve spent enough time at Wonwoo’s house to knew that he didn’t have a partner, «and moreover, he’s meant with me.» Basically, you spent the morning acting like a flustered teenager, despite the fact that you were a full grown adult.

Hesitantly, you knocked on Wonwoo’s front door, still pondering to just turn around and leave; it was late afternoon, and you had finally made up your mind, walking all the way to the warlock’s house. However, the more you waited, the more you realized that he wasn’t going to open the door anytime soon – he probably wasn’t home, fortuity which gave you the opportunity to flee; as you were stepping down the last step of Wonwoo’s porch, you heard the familiar creak of the wooden front door being open.

«You sure had some nerve making me wait for this long.» Wonwoo’s voice was groggy, and you figured out he was probably just taking a nap; you immediately spun on your heels, your gown obediently twirling around your legs as you stood facing him, your fingers nervously picking at each other in short and nervous movements.

«Well, I – »you started, now knowing what you wanted to say; although you wanted to apologize, every word you knew seemed to have vanished for your brain.

«Come here, you idiot.» Wonwoo smiled at you, and in the same moment you saw his arms widening into an obvious offer of a hug, you skipped back on the steps of his porch, almost throwing yourself in his arms.

«You can’t walk around with a scar on your cheek and not expect me to connect the dots,» he mumbled, resting his chin on the top of your head, as your face was basically buried in the crook of his neck, «I missed you.» he finally admitted the words you’ve desperately wanted to hear, and you instinctively hugged him a little tighter.

Wonwoo ended up convincing you to stay for dinner, and of course, you couldn’t exactly bring yourself to say no; even if you still had to confess him about the soulmate bond connecting the two of you, you were happy to spend some time with him by simply staying in your human form.

The moon was shining in the sky as the two of you were sitting on the steps of his porch, enjoying the quiet night summer breeze.

«Were you actually certain that I was the wolf?» you questioned; Wonwoo adjusted his glasses, and simply shrugged.

«It was just a bold guess in the beginning, but Seungcheol kinda confirmed it,» the warlock took your bewildered expression to explain himself further, «I randomly walked into him the day after we met, and he seemed to be all excited about you having returned into town, as a wolf. He also said we had the same scent, so we were probably mates.»

«Wait,» few seconds of silence had passed, and you silently connected the dots, «Seungcheol is a wolf?» you questioned, dumbfounded, and Wonwoo simply nodded, quietly chuckling at your surprise, already knowing what you would have said next, «Seungcheol, “let me chase you real quick while holding this bee hive” Seungcheol?»

«In his defence, he grew into a reliable leader.» Wonwoo admitted, and a comfortable silence fell once again around the two of you. Of course, the fact that Seungcheol was the alpha of the territory was the main reason you didn’t feel threatened with the sudden instinct and need to leave; he might have accepted you as one of his pack before you even thought about asking him to become one.

«He also told you we’re soulmates,» you sighed, «I feel like I’ve been beating around the bushes for nothing.» you felt Wonwoo’s arm around your shoulder, before being gently pulled into his side; you immediately shifted closer, so that you could comfortably lean against him without the two of you being uncomfortable.

«You did, but it was cute,» Wonwoo admitted, and your shoulders lowered in defeat, making him chuckle at your behaviour, «I was honestly curious about how long it would have took you.»

«Can you blame me? I literally disappeared in the middle of the night, and showed up years later.» you immediately retorted, explaining that your mother didn’t exactly gave you time to warn him about the fact you were about to leave, and as soon as you reached your new house, your main thoughts were immediately focused on trying to tame yourself in order not to hurt other people by mistake.

«I was really angry back then,» Wonwoo confessed, «but eventually, other friends went through the shifting process, and when he came back, Seungcheol helped me actually understand that you would have come back, sooner or later. I just had to wait.»

«So… Does it mean you’re accepting the bond?» you timidly questioned, and you felt Wonwoo wordlessly nod against your forehead, «and does it mean you’re going to kiss your soulmate?» as you felt the warlock detaching himself from you with an overdramatic sigh you felt like you had screwed up but luckily, as you met his gaze, you could only find affection.

«If I hadn’t had a crush on you since day one I would have said no, because your pickup lines are really awful.» hearing Wonwoo’s words was as if your neurons simultaneously caught fire; before you could actually question him about “what the hell do you mean you have a crush on me”, his lips captured yours in a soft, tentative first kiss.

Wonwoo’s lips were gentle – just like his whole being, but the kiss feels like the rush of a high tide at noon; his right thumb and index finger were under your chin, while his left hand was lazily gripping your nape, as if to prevent you from run away when all you wanted was to taste more, to feel more, until the point where you can’t even quantify what could that “more” even stand for.

«Don’t leave.» Wonwoo spoke, a faint murmur against your lips, and you instinctively smiled in return, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him again, again and again.

Do not modify, repost, translate or plagiarize my stories. I only publish my works on tumblr & AO3.

↳ BACK TO NAVIGATION 💫 ↳ BACK TO MASTERLIST 🔮

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roses-n-chocolates · 2 years

Text

Canary Appreciation

“You may try to hide your feelings, but you have a heart”

Hunter x Hunter

23.49

#anime #90s anime #hunter xhunter #hunter hunter #black is beautiful #soft black girl #soft aesthetic #black femininity #coquette #black coquette #soft black girls

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ribinapan · 1 year

Text

we meet.

“that’s a lot of seeds.” her eyes glanced over the piles and piles of small packets in my basket, obviously not looking really happy about having to scan all of that one by one. i glance behind me, nervous, but it’s not like there’s a line. i’m the only one there this late.

“ah, uh, yeah.” i chuckle, “um, i know how many i have if that, uh, if you have like, a quantity butto–” she’s shaking her head before i finish my sentence, and it dies in my throat.

“ah. well… sorry.”

she blinks at me a couple times, and then starts to pick the packets out of the cart.

beep. beep. beep. beep…

she’s pretty. she’s got a lot more piercings than i do, and piercing (haha) brown eyes that seem to glare into my soul. her hair’s tied up in a loose ponytail, and it’s about three different colors. it doesn’t look washed, or brushed, but the way it frames her face still seems to manage to scream ‘this woman’s gorgeous’ in my face. i hate people who are pretty like that. i almost stop feeling bad about the 33 morning glory seed packets, but then i look down at my basket and feel the guilt well back up in me again,

“aren’t these that kind of flower that only bloom once? for like, an hour?”

“hm?” i’m broken out of my ‘pretty girl’ trance, and do another little nervous chuckle, rubbing my arm. “ah– oh. yeah. morning glories. yeah.”

“and you bought…” she looks at her screen. “so far, more than $23.49 worth of them?”

“oh, well– um– yes.”

“...why?”

“ah– well– you know. the– name. they usually start blooming early morning, and they last a couple hours. i planted like, a fuckton once, woke up real early around the time they bloomed every morning til they did. sat there with them til the sun came up and kept coming back til they died. it was– well, it was kind of– really pretty.” like you, my brain supplied, but i thankfully kept my mouth shut.

beep. beep…

she finishes scanning, ringing me up for a total that ends up somewhere around fifty dollars, but i don’t care enough to look, just trying to get out of there. she drops something into my bag and i think it’s the receipt, so i grab it, mumble a thank you, and book it out of there, already deciding to buy all my flowers in small trips next year, the guilt following me out.

i don’t realize until i get home, but she didn’t ever get to give me my receipt. i pull a little folded piece of paper out, and unfold it, confused.

Maybe you can show me these ‘morning flowers’ sometime?

xxx-xxx-xxxx

-nico

i think i fainted.

i own an acre of land i got from my grandparents.

yes, just an acre.

nothing on it, and i can’t afford to put anything there. so i nailed some sort of shed-like thing together, and i grow flowers all around it and all over it. it’s my little hide out spot. i camp out there with the spiders and the screaming bugs when i want to feel like it’s just me against the world. i scatter the morning glory seeds all around it.

they’re best when they creep up it slowly, growing through the spaces and blooming all over. it makes me feel like a fairy.

when i brought nico for the first time she laughed, because it really just looked like a big space of flat dirt and a pile of wood.

but i kept bringing her back, and slowly all the other flowers started to bloom again. i showed her where the morning glories were peeping up, and she asked me when we were actually going to get flowers out of them.

“ah, we’ll– probably have to wait ‘til early summer.”

her head shot up in shock. “like, almost a year?”

i smiled a little. “ah, yeah. i guess you have to stick around at least that long, then.”

she blinked a couple times, then smiled back, slinging an arm around my shoulder.

“i don’t think i’ll have a problem with that.”

a taylor swift concert. i wasn’t expecting that at all, definitely not from nico, but she was squealing like a little girl and trying to buy pre-sale tickets and pacing around my kitchen like it was a gym, like she was going to wear a path into my floor.

now,

i wouldn’t mind

a permanent reminder of her.

she had almost everything planned out meticulously until she glanced down at the city it was in, and frowned.

“oh, i hate driving over there.”

nicolette had a fear of driving, i learned that pretty quickly. she had a couple set places she could go, but otherwise she had to be the passenger. i shifted uncomfortably, and then said,

“i’ll go with you. i’ll drive.”

the words came tumbling out of my mouth before i could rethink it. i hate taylor swift.

but her face lit up like a fucking christmas tree, and her brown eyes found mine and held them captive there, and i knew i wasn’t going to take it back.

“really?”

“really.”

she came over, squealing, jumping on the sofa and pushing me back. our noses touched.

“i could marry you right now.”

ah. my brain supplied, that means more taylor swift concerts.

your favorite album

came out again, in cd–

signed copy.

i went to three

book stores

(our favorite spot,

the one

thirty minutes away

the one you hated

riding to.)

and one more cd store i found on maps.

i found a copy and stared at it, standing in the middle of the shop, just, there. wondering if you’d respond if i sent it to you. wondering if you’d do anything if i gave you anything at all.

i went home.

“viola,”

she says while i’m tending to some of the morning glory vines, snipping away and trying to lead the trail up my little encampment. i act like i can’t hear her, even though i can, even though i really, really don’t want to.

“vi,” she says again, a little louder, “we need to talk.”

“did you know that morning glories can be invasive?” i responded again, “if they find a spot they like, they really don’t want to leave.”

“vi.”

i turned around, facing her with the snippers.

“nico.”

she looked at me. she didn’t look sad. she didn’t look guilty. her face just looked hard. cool, maybe. i knew she thought i had done something wrong. guilt coiled up in my stomach like a hungry snake. had i done something wrong?

“we need to talk.”

“you know,”

i said to a vine that had made it to the top of my shed,

“you hurt me, too, i think.”

no response,

obviously,

but saying it made me feel better.

you didn’t get to see them,

the way they climbed up to the sky,

the way they bloomed,

one

you didn’t get to see them,

but they bloomed

anyway.

i picked one off right after it bloomed, crawling

out into

a sea of color

without you

(we were supposed to see this together.

we were supposed to see this together.)

(they bloomed anyway).

i was still holding a now wilting flower, sitting in front of my shed, when my friends woke up behind me.

“vi?” mer said, sitting up, rubbing their eyes groggily. “you’re already awake? that’s fucking new.” they joked.

i turned around, closing my fist around the flower. “yeah. never really got used to sleeping outside.”

they nodded, then open their mouth to say something, but i watch as their eyes catch on the flowers outside. “oh my god! they’re bloomed!” they elbow riley hard, who groans, rolling over to push his face into his sleeping bag in response. “get up, jones, you fuckin’ moron! you’re going to miss it!”

“give riley a minute. they do stay bloomed for a couple hours.” i laughed, the tension uncoiling from me as mer shook riley awake.

the three of us step into my gigantic flower bed together, turning around to see the new blues, purples, whites, pinks– that have joined us, that have turned the entire space into a sea of color– and i let out a little whoop.

“good job, vi.” mer says. “you made a really pretty way to absolutely topple the local ecosystem.”

“oh, shut up, mer.” riley nudges them, “let her have this.”

mer eyes me, obviously thinking a bunch of mean things but deciding to say none of them. “i guess vi can have their invasives this once.” they look back out over the garden. “she did pick a really pretty way to be bad for the environment, after all.”

i eye mer back, wanting to say a bunch of nice things, like:

i love you. thank you for being here. im so glad you decided to hurt your back and cramp for the next two days to do this with me, even though its out of pity, even though you’re only both here because you know someone else was supposed to be, even though you’re standing here making fun of me. i love you, for being here, to call my flowers pretty, for standing by me even though i care about a terrible person, when you’re right here, an example of the perfect person, the perfect people. thank you. thank you so much, and i’m sorry i am ruining our local ecosystem for one morning’s worth of pretty a year.

“yeah,” i smile, taking a deep breath with my whole chest, staring at my friends standing in the middle of my tons of flowers, with the sun rising behind them and my new little fairy-mound of a shed. “yeah, really pretty.”

morning glories

didn’t need

you

to bloom.

i won’t either.

-(i won’t, i won’t.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a little vent short story / poem that i thought i’d share bc i made funky little cover art for it, here is my good ol flower lesbian character, viola

#very loosely based on jamie growing moonflowers in bly #short story #lgbtq #sapphic #original writing #original art #digital art #poetry #poem #wlw #breakup #a little bit of found family #vent #morning glories

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