#2022.06.11 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

insomniumstella · 2 years

Text

bitter end

bucky x reader

summary: y/n could've never imagined attending Bucky's wedding if she wasn't the woman in white, but the Universe has a funny way of putting things in order. this is part two to traitor

warnings: probably none, except for possible foul language??

word count: 1,875

author’s note: thank you to the scumbag that is my ex-boyfriend for the inspiration, again. you’re truly full of surprises. also, i received a bunch of messages with ideas for a “sequel” which i was against until this sh*t happened. i’m sorry for making Bucky suffer, and for ignoring all ideas of “happy endings”, but i do promise to make it up with a fluffy fic sometime soon. anyway, much love to all the beautiful babes who ever had their hearts broken!

She could remember running her eyes over the words again and again as if the letters would somehow rearrange themselves once she memorized every curve of the ink set deep within the layers of the glittering white paper that was Bucky's and Mila’s wedding invitation.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER

James & Mila — 2022.06.11. The ceremony starts at 4PM.

Lake Shore Drive, Lake George NY 12845

There was no reason, other than pettiness, and perhaps jealously too, for Mila to send y/n an invitation to their wedding. The girl couldn’t think of a single, sane reason she had decided to attend it either, but there she was, standing in the backless, silk dress Bucky had bought as a gift for their first anniversary, solely because emerald green was his favorite color, and he thought it suited y/n’s skin like no other color could.

She didn’t spot Bucky in the crowd of people that filled the dimly lit venue. A flash of white though, a color she dreaded all night to notice as y/n couldn’t envision attending the ceremony, caught her eye — Mila ran a perfectly manicured hand over her swollen belly, smiling at some people y/n didn’t care too much about recognizing.

The universe had a funny way of putting things in order. Less than a year ago, y/n called Bucky Barnes her boyfriend, and now he was a married man with a child on the way. What is meant for you will find you, Wanda’s words replayed in her mind, what is meant for you will stay. The girl had a hard time wrapping her head around the fact that James Buchanan Barnes was not the person meant for y/n to love and cherish ‘till the end of the line. The person that is truly destined to be a permanent part of your life will fight for you because they can’t imagine a day without you. A fish can’t live without water, can it? She had been struggling to keep her head above the water for a while now; gasping for air as she waited for Bucky to save her, yet he never did. It’s time to let go of the past. Wanda was right. You won’t get to experience the future otherwise.

She didn’t realize how much she needed fresh air until her high heels made contact with the hardwood panels of the venue’s upstairs balcony. She ran a hand over the smooth railing, relishing in the crisp scent of pine trees when a sudden realization dawned upon the girl. Her favorite color was no longer green — it was pink now. She’d play The Chain by Fleetwood Mac on repeat instead of Vienna by Billy Joel because Vienna used to be their song, and they no longer existed. Sam had noticed the absence of creamer in y/n’s morning coffees, and Wanda had been surprised by her sudden interest in baking. To James, the wedding was a celebration, to y/n, it was a goodbye; he was a memory, she was a stranger.

“I must say,” Bucky's voice cut through the suffocatingly heavy and silent night’s air as he emerged into the balcony, “I’m surprised you showed up.” A soft chuckle followed the statement.

Propping her forearms on the railing, y/n leaned against the metal. She thought about throwing a sarcastic remark his way, but there was only one thing on her mind - a question so heavy, y/n couldn’t bear to carry it on her shoulders for a minute longer. “Did you know?”

Did you know? was a question Bucky shouldn’t have hesitated to answer. “Yes.” He sighed, turning his head in her direction. They were the only people occupying the balcony. The full moon cast a cool glow on Bucky’s face, illuminating the same features y/n was once in love with. “I knew Mila was pregnant when we had sex.”

She nodded but stayed silent because there were no words she could’ve used to express the hurt and betrayal that burned in her heart. I knew Mila was pregnant when we had sex, and yet he lied through his teeth that he loved her.

“Are you mad?” He suddenly asked after a few moments of excruciating silence, keeping his eyes firmly set on y/n. She didn’t dare to meet his gaze.

Considering both a yes and a no, “no,” she hissed.

“No?” Bucky repeated, not caring to disguise the surprise in his tone.

“No.” This time her voice was much louder as she turned her head in his direction. “Is that a surprise too?”

“Slightly.” He shrugged his shoulders.

It was her turn to chuckle. Either James Buchanan Barnes had always thought very little of y/n, or he truly didn’t know her anymore — didn’t know her favorite breakfast spot, the car she’d pick for a late-night drive, the fact that she was capable of leaving behind the anger his actions evoked months ago.

“I would’ve done anything for you.” She gripped the railing, staring at the peacefully still lake ahead of them. “I wasn’t too hard to love, James, you’re just a pathetic excuse of a man.” Her voice remained calm, but her tone dripped with poison.

“Doll, let-“ He spoke up, but y/n quickly interjected.

“Do not call me doll ever again. God, Barnes, have some respect, your pregnant wife might be looking for you this very moment.” She waved a hand in his face when the soldier opened his mouth to speak. “You, I’ll forgive. It’s me, the girl who fell in love with James Barnes in the first place, whom I can’t. Do you know what that’s like? To look in the mirror every morning and see a person you can’t recognize because you don’t remember them being so weak they managed to fall for obvious lies and false promises?”

“For what it’s worth, you’re not weak if you’ll eventually be able to forgive me.”

“Mmhm.” Her voice was barely a mumble as she rolled her eyes at his mournful tone.

He continued to stare at y/n while she continued staring at the scenery. Shifting in place for a second, as if deciding whether leaving was an option better than lingering around, James came to stand behind y/n. Their hands slightly brushed as he gripped the metal, trapping her between the railing and his chest. He was so close she could feel the intoxicating warmth of his body and smell the remains of that particular cologne she had gifted him two Christmases ago. She thought she was mostly over it, but it was too much, too quickly, and y/n shut her eyes closed to keep herself from crying.

“You didn’t fall for lies, y/n.” James caressed her knuckles with his flesh hand. Her left wrist was no longer adorned with the cheap but sentimental bracelet he got y/n on their first date. The discovery came as an unpleasant surprise. “I couldn’t have dated someone I wasn’t in love with.”

Lies, lies, lies, she thought, but turned around nonetheless, running her fingers along the silhouette of his jawline. “Is that so?” The soft touches of her skin against James’s left a burning trail in their path. “You love Mila? In every sense of the word?” She put heavy emphasis on the word every because they both knew he couldn’t love Mila the way he used to love y/n — at least the way he once pretended to love her.

“Yes.” James took a bit longer to answer than he wanted to.

“Once a liar, always a liar, huh?” She smiled, finding the reply amusing. “Perhaps both of our memories have been tainted, and,” the girl paused for effect, placing her hands on his shoulder, “there was never an us in the first place.” She ran her fingers over the man’s taunt arm muscles before smiling again. “If our relationship was an illusion, how could I know The Winter Soldier’s definition of genuine love?”

James had to forcibly swallow as if he was fighting back tears. “What are you talking about?” Her hand wrapped around the soldier’s neck; a warning. “It wasn’t an illusion.” The tremble in his voice was a dead giveaway of the sorrows that burdened his conscience.

“The woman who’s carrying your child,” she addressed Mila without mentioning her name out of spite, “does she know? Does she know that the one and only apology I’ve ever gotten from her husband, he spelled out on my clit?” James averted his gaze, but y/n gripped his chin, forcing the man to look at her. “Has she seen the scar?”

“No.” Bewilderment and shame painted his expression. “I couldn’t tell her.”

“Oh.” She raised her eyebrows. “Why didn’t you show Mila the scar, Bucky?” False confusion etched its way into her tone. Bucky, he winced at the nickname. Though he was towering over the girl, it was undoubtedly clear who had the upper hand. A tense silence fell between the pair. “A liar and a coward.” She finally chuckled. “That was all you ever were. That is all you ever will be.”

Ducking to escape the confine of his arms, y/n glided to stand in front of James. He didn’t realize how tightly he had been gripping the railing until he was turning around to look at her. Much to his surprise, y/n’s face held no signs of emotions. Instead, it was so eerily blank, her icy stare sent goosebumps down his back.

"Babe?" A figure emerged from the hallway and into the balcony. "You’ve been gone for a while, and I started getting worried.”

She took a step forward, letting their chest slightly brush against each other, and placed her hands on his shoulders. Just for a split second, y/n was a spitting image of the same girl he had fallen in love with over three years ago — warm, and loving, and as mournful as it was to admit it, almost his. Yet James blinked, and the illusion shattered. For better or for worse, the woman who stood in front of him, James couldn’t recognize.

"Don't keep Mila waiting," she smiled, gently fixing the collar of his dress shirt, "she's your wife, after all."

Scrunching his eyebrows, James silently pleaded for y/n to stay, whether it'd be for a minute or a lifetime longer. One more chance, y/n, he thought, one more chance is all I need.

"Babe?"

Sliding her arms down his chest, y/n let them fall to her sides before quickly smoothing her silk dress. "Enjoy the rest of your night, Sergeant." A final goodbye, said without any malice or hurt in y/n's tone as emotion returned to her features. "Captain," she turned around, acknowledging Steve, "care for a drink?"

It was a nightmare for James. The blonde's childish grin, his innocent eyes. The woman wrapping her hand around Steve's bicep while he nodded at Bucky as if to say have fun, pal. James snickered. See you Monday, he thought, silently imitating Steve's stern voice, don't forget to consummate the wedding.

“Shall we?” Steve’s voice cut through the heavily awkward tension as he addressed y/n.

She smiled, glancing at James for the last time before her eyes fell back on her boyfriend. "After you, Captain."

#bucky x you #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky x reader angst #bucky barnes x reader #bucky angst #bucky barnes x reader angst #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagine #insomniumstella #insomniumstella masterlist #insomniumstella traitor #bucky barnes angst

179 notes · View notes