#...anything can disable you given the 'right' circumstances...
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According to the responses to the 2021 American Community Survey available on the US Census Bureau website, approximately 13% of Americans self reported some form of disability. Initially, I thought that this was a high value simply because there's so little perception of it in media, unless that media is specifically designed to show people with disabilities. But then I looked a bit deeper into it. Nearly 50%(it was like 48 point something) of those who reported a disability reported an ambulatory disability. Given this figure, I wonder if the percentage is underreported. A lot of mental health and disability has only been accepted in mainstream media in recent years. There are also questions I have like:Do correctible vision deficiencies count as disabilities? I would argue yes. I wear glasses. It's not something I think about a lot, but without my glasses, I would be hard-pressed to function normally within society. They are an accommodation. Yet in a group of 25-30 people(the class i was in when i was thinking about it), I easily counted at least 5 who wore glasses. Obviously, that's not a large enough sample size to make any kind of assumption off of, but I think I could probably find similar numbers if i looked in other places. Part of me doubts that I was marked as having a vision difficulty despite having and wearing glasses. And it's made me think and wonder if 13% wasn't that large of a number after all. I mean, it's a massive population. It's 42 million people, but I wonder if the number is even larger than that. What do you think?
So, I think it's complex. I'm not saying you are wrong in your investigation, but due to the personal nature of disability, it makes me wonder, too. I think the answer will be just as complex, is what I am saying.
Simultaneously, disability is very common, but the idea of being "unable" to live or be productive makes it so that disability becomes a taboo. It leads you to believe that disability is uncommon, or only exists in the "extremes". I do think that contributes to the perception people have of their disabilities, especially in being in denial about their disabilities disabling them.
I think you can generally say that certain things, like eye vision, can be disabilities, as long as we also recognize that it exists on a spectrum. I also have eye glasses, but if you ask me what I'm disabled by, I probably wouldn't bring that up unless it is relevant, in the narrow ways it is for me personally. I think that's part of why the ambulatory statistic is high. There are many situations where your disability doesn't really... disable you, but you're still disabled because there are aspects of your life you either cannot do, or you need help in order to do.
Thirteen percent is a large number, but when you consider the vast array of disabilities, the number of veterans and elderly, and (like you said) the number of people likely either in denial about their disability or the people for whom education doesn't include disability, the number could very well be thirteen or higher.
It's interesting that ableism is so ubiquitous, yet so many of us are disabled (with or without our knowledge).
#ask#disability#disability advocacy#i think a lot of people are caught up in the this is a disability/this isn't a disability binary that we fail to see the complexities...#...anything can disable you given the 'right' circumstances...#...the fact that my right leg is up to half an inch shorter than my other leg is what causes my pain...#...but my vision is less of a disability for me personally. my prescription most likely needs to be stronger but i know i can manage...#...so if you have me pick which disables me more i would pick my fuck up of a skeleton....#...but that could very well change! disability is NOT stagnant...#...and we need to let disability be complex...#...so i think the percentage will never truly be accurate because its so complex and we can't ask every single person for their entire story#anything can become a disability if the right circumstances in an individual's life present itself#and these circumstances can be genetic/environmental/financial/socioeconomical WHATEVER it may be#i hope this answers the question well... i can clarify further if need be
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Hey! I’m a big fan of your work.
Do you think any of the Harrington girls ever try out dna testing kits? Either to find relatives or just know heritage/potential heath issues. Could be an emotional minefield tbh.
oooh i LOVE this question
short answer is: yes, the girls definitely do dna kits (as should all adoptees but that’s just my opinion, i suppose)
the longer answer is that the girls decide (without any input from their dads, who didn’t even know about this discussion) to wait until all three of them are 18 so that all three of them can get their results at the same time.
steve is perfectly fine with them waiting, not because he has anything against his kids learning about their heritage, but because he’s very much anti-companies collecting/storing his personal info. He won’t join facebook, refuses to get an alexa (he even has siri disabled on his phone), and definitely doesn’t love the idea of a corporation having his dna, so he kind of needed the time to get past the alarm bells going off in his head about his daughters’ safety in that regard.
he does get past it though, and steve and eddie buy the kits as an 18th birthday gift to hazel in september of 2024. eight weeks later, they get the results.
the ancestry composition is interesting, of course, and steve and eddie get at least some relief from the health profiles because that had always been a total mystery to them.
the girls end up learning that they really don't have much extended family on their mom’s side, which isn’t really a surprise — that’s how moe ended up in foster care to begin with — but it still is disappointing given that their mom died when they were little and they all had questions about her that they hoped could get answered someday.
the big surprise is that moe has a different bio-dad from robbie and hazel, which…does not go over well, understandably.
on the whole, it's not exactly a joyous experience, per se, but it never was going to be. kids don't enter the foster system for no reason, and parental rights don’t get terminated for shits and giggles. steve and eddie saw it as their responsibility to be as upfront about the circumstances of their daughters’ adoption as they were allowed to be (and as was age-appropriate), so the girls were prepared for the results being, at a minimum, complicated.
still, the Harrington family vibes are off for a while after they get the results.
#they adjust and end up alright in the end#a couple months later moe texts robbie: i saw something in your results we didn’t notice before#moe: it says you’re 100% a loser#uhhh to be clear most adoptive parents do not handle these topics (and adoption in general) nearly as well#we’re being idealistic here#steddie#liv’s steddie dads verse#steddie dads#steve harrington#eddie munson
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I remember someone saying "there's no such thing as a good racism allegory" and it's been bouncing around in my head for a while. I'm someone who typically thinks anything can work if given the right circumstances, but then I really started thinking about it and I believe they're right
Because if you want to talk about racism, you should just talk about racism
(This is unpolished and ramble-y, so strap yourselves in)
Racism is deeply ingrained into our society, no matter where you live. Imperialism and colonialism has ensured that no corner of Earth has been left untouched. Choices from hundreds of years ago are still being felt today. There's practically no end to the discussion of its effects on the world and its people
So, why should anyone feel the need to dress it up in cat ears?
I've consumed a lot of media where writers have consciously echoed in part some aspect of racism in their fantasy story: Bright 2017, Dragon Age, RWBY, the MCU, Harry Potter, Detroit: Become Human, etc. The biggest thing they have in common is that the narrative is told to side with the victims, but it somehow always ends up against them
It always sides with the status quo
It's confusing, maddening even, because the narrative oft goes out of its way to show how horrible the system is and how these folk don't deserve their treatment, so why are we going back to normal as if it's a good thing? Why are the people actively working to improve the system decried as annoying at best and monstrous at worst?
Then you look at the people who write these storylines. The beliefs they hold, the people they vote for, which charities and organizations they give to, and it all makes sense. Centrists (at best) trying to look progressive are the ones who need to dress racism up in cat ears and rainbow freckles. They set aside the long, brutal histories and crushing systemic realities to play pretend that racism is Not That Bad and is only done by Those Bad Individuals
That's why Velvet's ears are tugged instead of culled. That's why the Mantle drunkards say mean things to Blake instead of attempting to assault her. That's why everything surrounding the SDC's labor practices is so vague as to be useless while the biggest evidence of their malice is hand-waved away by a writer who says the victim "had it coming" as if someone can deserve being branded by being too much of a brat
These stories aren't meant to make the audience question why our society works off the bloodied backs of the exploited or demands we take good, hard looks at ourselves and how we've been duped into believing so much garbage about entire swathes of people. They're meant to satisfy the people who only feel bad that these things are happening because they (white folk) look like the bad guys. It's a self-congratulatory wank about how "I'm not like THOSE guys, therefore I'm a good person!"
And then there's the characters meant to convey this story in the first place: always inoffensive, mostly aimless, "not like the other girl" types that pander to that delicate palate. Blake - a conventionally attractive, pale skinned girl in fashionable clothes - used to be passionate about equality but only in the right way, and demonizes anyone who does not conform to this mindset despite having no reasoning to back it up while never once demanding better of the privileged people around her even when they do racially insensitive things
The biggest downfall of these racial allegories, be they about cat girls or orcs or elves or robots, is that they do something that marginalized folk have been forced to endure since the dawn of time: literal dehumanization. There are tangible differences between humans and whatever the allegory is, which undermines the very fundamental fact that black/asian/queer/neurodivergent/disabled/whatever folk are unapologetically, undeniably, exceedingly human. By dressing up their plights in cat ears or spottled blue skin, you're creating theater not for the people who actually live through these struggles as a means of connecting with them and providing them a safe outlet for their feelings, but giving the people who benefit from passively allowing the system to enforce said struggles a pat on the head for not being the grand wizard
I don't really know where I'm going or how to end this, so I'll just sign off with if you're going to talk about racism, just talk about racism
#rwde#like i said this is pretty all over the place bc i know what im Feeling but not how to word it yknow? so hopefully i got it somewhat across#i am whiter than sour cream tho so if i got anything wrong DO NOT HESITATE to blast me like team rocket#this did get me thinking abt star trek specifically the ep w the dudes who are black on one side and white on the other#and they hate each other because the colors are on different sides#that might be an okay allegory since its so on the nose its dancing on your sinuses#but its not my place to say one way or another so who knows#ive only seen people play detroit but holy fuck david cage should be tossed into a pit for that absolute nonsense#this dude had robots standing in the back of busses and quoting mlk jr but had the audacity to claim it wasnt the 60s civil rights allegory#this is just a really weird thing to happen over and over again#can they just not connect w people of color or whatever their target allegory is?#its almost always black folk tho james camerons avatar had LoAdS of fun w that indigenous parody#and theres like. never any sensitivity readers to double check this shit or the target group actually doing the writing#who said 'white people love talking about race as if they got something to say'? bc that should be the slogan for every one of these deals#yeehaw ig :?
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I feel like I would consider myself polyamory agnostic in a way, like I would maybe like for it to happen but I often fear that I don't have the ability to manage even one partnership, let alone multiple relationships, since I am often. So tired. I often find myself idealizing the "late" stage of a relationship when everyone already has settled into what to expect of each other and knows not to take it personally if someone falls asleep mid movie, for example. All this to say, how do you handle your relationship structure as a disabled/chronically ill person? Do you have any advice/thoughts on how it works for you? (I feel like perhaps you have posted about this before and I am just forgetting...)
oh this is a really good question! i'm not sure how relevant my life experience will be to you, particularly given that i started dating all three of my current partners before becoming disabled/crippled. but i am happy to share!
first off -- i 100% get romanticizing the late stage of relationships, sometimes you just need things to be chill and flexible. but i also don't think that this stage necessarily Needs to be reserved for Late Relationships?
like.... the older i get, the more upfront i've decided to be about my needs, especially with new people. granted, a lot of the people i meet these days are either disabled themselves or Get It -- my social circle is mostly queer spoonies in their 20s and 30s + much much older retirees that i hang out with at the local pool.
some people prefer not to be so open so quickly about their limitations, it is hard and scary to be visibly disabled, harder still to ask for help & admit that you might be inconvenient / a burden / take up extra space. this USED to be me until i said. eh. fuck it. after a certain point, wounded pride is just a mental construct
basically, like. when i'm online these days, you'll see me be clear about my limits with strangers - i'll say that if i stop replying to chats or asks, it's not bc i hate you, it's bc i'm tired or forgetful. that i can't guarantee responses to ppl, even people i'm already friendly with. that if my mood is bad or my pain levels are high, i won't engage in much social interaction at All. that my capabilities fluctuate wildly depending on the day and that i cannot be relied upon for consistent scheduling or posting or creative output
i'm similarly open with people irl. it helps that i'm often using mobility aids when i'm talking to people. the mobility aids sorta strip the possibility of pretending not to be disabled. it's kinda the elephant in the room. but it means that i can be like, "as you can see, i am very crippled. i may need flexibility with any plans that we make. due to being very crippled."
if people get upset by this or simply don't have the capacity to deal with it, that is fine! that's not either of our faults, no one's done anything wrong, we're just not in the right circumstances to mesh. i don't get hurt by that personally. i've honestly found that it saves SO much time and hassle and potential drama/heartache to set expectations right away. the only other option is to exhaust myself and end up failing to meet expectations regardless and losing the friendship after burning up a bunch of energy and social bridges. painful and bad!
so like... i can meet a new person, and if they're cool with My Whole Deal, then there's no waiting period before we're familiar enough for flaky behavior. i can be like, "i'm not sure i'll be able to walk tonight, is there a place to sit down at the event?" or "i'm flaring a little, is it okay for us to be kinda flexible about tomorrow's schedule?" or "hey, i'll get back to you as soon as possible i promise, i'm just fogged TO SHIT today [peace sign]" from day 1. it's great
i'm not saying that you Have to do this; i am aware that it breaches like seventeen laws of general social etiquette. i'm just saying that i have met many people who are totally chill about this! as long as you're chill and respectful of the other person as well, you can do whatever you want forever
that was not even relevant to the initial ask, so. AS FOR MY PARTNERS.
i actually don't find that my illness makes it harder to navigate my relationships at all. like i mentioned, i've been with all three partners for Many Many Years now. we know each other Extremely well, we're all extremely turbo autistic, we all have blunt communication down to a science. so saying "i'm not up for doing [x thing] tonight, can we take a rain check?" is super easy.
in fact, my partners can basically intuit a flare from just my physical movements and tone of voice, even before i say a single word. we are VERY familiar with each other.
.....and, alright. after fighting the urge to longpost i've decided to put the rest under a cut. YOU'RE WELCOME 4 THE RETURN OF YOUR DASHBOARDS. "why didnt you put it under a cut so much earlier" read my posts boy
anyway. click readmore to hear me expand upon just how fucking incredible and awesome and kind and generous and loving my People are
there ARE some ways that the illness has made it more difficult for ME to be the kind of partner that i want to be -- for example, i often lack the energy to provide proper emotional support during stressful situations, i have a shorter threshold for pain/irritation than i used to, i can't give 100% of my energy anymore and there have been times when that has resulted in hurt feelings in my partners.
(there have been far more times, though, when nobody's feelings are hurt and it's literally fine.)
in every case where feelings DID get hurt, we've talked stuff out and fixed it within like an hour. bc we all trust each other and know that we don't WANT to hurt each other's feelings. i never ever Ever say things with the intention of wounding my partners, and they know that. they never say things with the intention of wounding me, either, which is why our very blunt "hey, you need to change something you're doing" convos go so well. there's no need to tiptoe, it doesn't hurt me to know what they're thinking or feeling or needing.
sometimes things are just hard and shitty and we're all doing the best we can. this is just part of adulthood i think. especially adulthood in late stage capitalism, etc. the Biggest key to my polycule is that we are all much happier as a family than we would be without each other. the relationships are about as wholesome and healthy and non-toxic and openly communicative as they can get
the Other key aspect when dealing with my illness is that.... being polyamorous has actually been... SOOOOOO MUCH BETTER than being 1) alone, OR 2) in a monogamous relationship EVER WOULD BE?
it is Extremely Stressful for my family to deal with me being this sick. i am aware of that. but i haven't had to bear the brunt of it. not only do they support me, but they also all communicate with and support each other. so no one person is bearing the entire weight of the stress or pain or fear. and i don't have to comfort people over my own symptoms, which most disabled ppl i think would agree is.... exhausting
when i'm too fucked up to speak aloud, let alone support my partners the way i usually do, they ALWAYS have EACH OTHER as a safety net.
this safety net has been beyond vital for me personally, too. round-the-clock care from a single partner is insane and exhausting and leads to unraveling tempers. but when you live with two partners who can help cover your chores and cook and make sure you don't die of your Symptoms (TM)? that's much more doable.
it's HARD, bc literally everyone in the house is disabled to some degree, but it's doable. (it being hard is part of why my QPR is going to move in with us soon. extra hands!)
a few weeks ago, rafi (partner of 7ish years) went on a short vacation to visit family in california. and justice (QPR of 3ish years, best friend of 8ish years) booked an impromptu next-day plane ticket to come stay with me and vi (partner of 11ish years) while rafi was gone. because i was Very Sick. i was flaring horribly the whole time she was here, and she made meals and cleaned and ran errands and picked up medications and returned phone calls and lay in bed with me watching low-stakes tv shows and made sure i didn't stroke out without anyone there to help.
this meant that i basically got to stay in bed the whole time, which was very very Very needed. and vi -- who has a bad back -- wasn't unduly taxed with Literally All of the household upkeep in rafi's absence.
the same principle has applied when i've needed my partners to help cover my share of bills or my household chores or my errands or whatever. since there are three other people involved, the Immediate Support Net is much wider than in a monogamous relationship. especially bc all three of them have their own familial and friend support networks to reach out to!
having more people around is actually awesome for me. i don't feel like i'm expending a lot more energy than i would in a monogamous relationship, but i AM receiving a TON more support and care and love than would be possible in a monogamous relationship.
i guess the conclusion i'd make is: no man is an island, humans are hardwired to build large social support groups, and in a good relationship, you'll receive At Least as much as you give. right now i'm receiving a SHIT TON MORE than i give, and i do often feel pretty bad about it despite knowing it's not my fault.
but these people have chosen to be my family. and if they ever want to stop choosing me then they absolutely can. and if they need more from me or they need something Different from me, then they'll literally just tell me.
(i know they will literally just tell me because all three of them have literally just told me in the past. they're three people i can implicitly trust to say things like "hey, this thing you said made me sad / was unhelpful" and "hey, i'm really stressed out about [x thing], can we make a plan to deal with it?" and "hey, this situation is pretty serious and i know that you don't want to face it but i really need you to. i will take on whatever i can for you and support you the whole time")
so: yes it has been hard to some extent, managing three relationships while also being sick. but it is also a wonderful setup with a million unthought-of advantages & i am much better cared-for and much better AT caring because of it & i fucking Shudder to think how horrific being sick would be without them.
i love my family so much.
#long post#replies#polyamory#this barely scratches the surface bc it's just a few examples of how our dynamics work but hopefully it is clarifying#polyamory is an advantage that has saved my Entire Ass. my partners are wonderful.#all relationships do take work but my three relationships don't take So Much Work that there's no benefit you know#the work is really easy. it's just. you take care of me when i need it and you can. i take care of you when you need it and i can#that's literally it. it's not a hard symbiosis to maintain#autoimmune tag
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hello. i've applied for PIP and i'm going to be filling out the "how does your disability affect you" form as soon as i can get someone to help me with it. i noticed that you are also in the UK and if it's alright with you i'd like to ask if you have any advice on filling the application out?
Hi! It’s been a while since I filled in that one but I do have a bit of advice. I don’t know your specific circumstances so sorry if I’m just repeating what you already know. If anyone else has better/ more/ different advice please add to this!
The first thing I’d say that nobody told me was that filling it in can be quite difficult emotionally. It’s a chunky form and takes quite a long time to fill in and a lot of that time will be spent thinking about all the suckiest parts of your disability and everything you can’t do and need help with. I definitely wasn’t prepared for how that would make me feel. I’d have a think about whether you’ll prefer to do it over a few days or if you want to get it all done as quickly as possible. If I were doing it again I’d want to plan something nice to do afterwards to try and take my mind off it. Basically do what works for you and make sure you take care of yourself while and after filling it in.
The rest is practical advice I got from various places (other disabled people, Citizens advice, disability organisations). It seemed to work well for me, but my disability is significant and well documented enough that it would have been surprising if I’d had to appeal the result of my assessment.
One thing I did was I planned all my answers in advance in bullet points before writing anything in the booklet. You can also type answers on a separate document if that’s easier. I ended up writing a lot more per question than I was given room for so having spare paper on hand if you or whoever’s helping you fills it in by hand. When I did it we always wrote down in the booklet where we’d used extra paper to make sure it all got read.
I was told to never assume the person doing the assessment knows anything about your conditions and to always write everything down even if seems really obvious or your conditions are well known. Like don’t assume that an assessor knows that chronic fatigue syndrome/ ME causes chronic fatigue, or that spastic cerebral palsy causes muscle spasticity. And don’t assume they know that fatigue might make it difficult to think clearly or that spasticity can cause pain. And don’t assume that if you wrote something in your explanation for question 1 that they’ll remember it when you get to question 5. It’s annoying and you end up repeating yourself a lot but it strengthens your case and builds a better picture of your disability if you lay everything out clearly each time. Never tick that you can’t do something and leave the explanation box blank – always give an explanation where prompted.
The other thing I was told was don’t tick that you can do something unless you can do it safely, reliably and as many times as you need to in a day. If you technically could use a knife but you’d be putting yourself or others at risk doing so then you can’t safely use a knife. If you can walk 20m in the morning but by midday you’re in too much pain to walk more than a few steps then you can’t walk 20m as many times as you need to a day. If you can sometimes feed yourself but suddenly lose the ability to hold a fork several times a week then you can’t reliably feed yourself. Always write what a bad day looks like and how often on average that happens as well as how predictable bad days/ symptoms are. Always spell out exactly why you can’t do something safely/ reliably/ repeatedly. If not having the right support has caused accidents or other significant problems then include what happened/ is happening and what the consequences were/ are.
I hope it goes well filling in the form. I know it’s far from the nicest thing in the world to have to do. And I really hope that they listen to you and you get a fair result relatively quickly. Good luck!
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HIIIIIIIIIII for nathan obviously <3 what a guy <3 🩹🔶🐉❤️🤍💔💛
nathan asks!
🩹 ADHESIVE BANDAGE — does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities?
when nathan was young, he was sent to some sort of a jdc after being accused of killing his younger sister rosie (he did not do this). here he was treated by an unreliable specialist who ended up diagnosing him with a bunch of things he didn't have, after which he was given medication which fucked him up pretty bad. in secret, all of this was just mobius experiments since the jdc in question was a secret mobius location, which meant they've been keeping an eye on nathan since he was around ten years old
if nathan were to get some proper diagnoses later in his life, he would be diagnosed with a variety of things (correctly this time); paranoid personality disorder, which mainly stems from his paranoia in combination with how he's been treated all his life; depersonalization-derealization disorder, which is mostly the result of both his horrible youth as well as the continuous jumping between real life and the STEM environment (which is essentially a dream environment made out of minds linked together); ocd, always been with him; and then later on also ptsd and even psychosis, both direct results of the STEM environment's influence on his psyche. he does get proper treatment eventually and manages to manage it all pretty well given the circumstances
as for physical disabilities, nathan injured his leg in a fight with the harbinger during the events of tew2. it has left some permanent damage (though he's not sure if it's in his leg or between his ears) causing him to get very annoying pain in it if he runs / walks for too long
🔶 LARGE ORANGE DIAMOND — does your oc know cpr? do they have any other medical expertise?
nathan's medical expertise does not go much further than what he was taught at mobius, which would mostly be basic wound tending etc. he would've had cpr classes with that as well, but he's never had to use his skills in a real situation before so if they're actually useful skills is up for debate
he can patch up most of his own wounds but not very neatly, so most of them leave pretty big and visible scars. he's not bothered by it though but because of this generally doesn't feel confident patching up others since he doesn't want to fuck something up for them
🐉 DRAGON — what is your oc's favorite mythical creature?
one thing about nathan is that he's a sceptic through and through so his interest in mythical creatures would be below the ground LMAO he would think werewolves are pretty cool but if anything he would think that in a horny way. and that's it
❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?
nathan is very efficient and practical. he has a varied skillset and is very thorough and focused on the task at hand, which makes him a very professional man to work with. he values quality and is always looking to learn and become better at things, which would've basically made him employee of the month at mobius every month
it's interesting that a lot of his positive traits are work-related, but for the longest time nathan's life entirely revolved around work and who he was within mobius. more of his positive traits for his personal life would be that he's witty, a lot more intelligent than he makes himself out to be, and overall a surprisingly nice person to talk to. he does have weird and off-putting vibes which make him a bit less approachable but if you get past that he is very pleasant in conversation
🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits?
nathan can be very objective which sometimes results in him being clear-headed and direct, but sometimes it translates to him being cold and distant. he is also extremely loyal; a good trait to have, as long as it's loyalty with the right kind of people, and he has definitely not always been on the right side of history considering he was part of mobius (albeit against his will; he did end up doing a lot of things for them that he did have control over)
on top of all that, nathan can be very selfless, giving his all to keep something or someone who means a lot to him safe. this makes him protective, but also very self-destructive, as he cares little about what happens to himself in the process
💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?
nathan is a very vengeful man and he holds serious grudges which he generally takes to his grave. he easily feels wronged by situations or other people and when someone hurts him it's very difficult for him to trust them again. he's also impulsive and stubborn, both of which can be observed in the way he can devote himself entirely to a cause or another person if he cares about them enough, and the self-destructive behavior that comes with it
💛 YELLOW HEART — how many languages does your oc speak? what language(s) are they learning, if any?
nathan is fluent in english and spanish, and he knows bits and pieces of japanese as well as sign language because of his history with mobius. he is actively teaching himself more sign language currently, and would love to know more languages than he does but it's very difficult for him to do so he would probably not be able to fully become fluent in a fourth language (counting asl as his (eventual) third)
#asks#hibernationsuit#ask:nathan#oc asks#THANK YOU <3 he is very special to me#basically his entire brain is just fried on account of all the horrors which is understandable#it would eventually be very hard for him to tell whether he's in the real world or in a STEM environment or if he's dreaming#which would make. like. every part of his brain even worse. which is not ideal in the slightest
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𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖉 𝕽𝖚𝖑𝖊𝖘
I can do platonic, family, or romantic scenarios with loz/loz au characters, though there will be some limitations to LU's Wind. I can write either x/reader or non-x/reader, but know that I WILL NOT WRITE LINKSHIPPING material. I suggest finding another blog to do such requests.
Unless otherwise specified, x/Reader fics will likely feature a gender neutral perspective. I can write for any gender requested, though please understand that I am biologically female, so I apologise if my representation of an identified male Reader is off.
I do not censor or warn for language—so you're either gonna have to just deal with it or keep on fuckin scrolling. If I do use a word or term that is considered generally offensive, however, please let me know so that I may go back and correct it.
There is a zero tolerance rule when it comes to any of my blogs, so if I come across an incident or am confronted with one, and you are unwilling to compromise or adjust the offensive behaviour, then you will be both blocked and reported.
I will not write for OCs except in extremely rare circumstances, as I’d really hate to butcher your beautiful characters. If you really want me to include them, however, please give me AS MUCH DETAIL AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN, as well as a physical description/image, as I really don’t want to tarnish the perfectly polished beings you have given me the ability to make a representation of.
Keep in mind that I do have the right to refuse a request, if I am uncomfortable or unwilling to write it! Pester me about it, or turn into an ass, you will be blocked, and possibly reported.
Understand that I am human. My life does not revolve around Tumblr 24/7, nor am i constantly on or at my devices. If I take a while to address your request/ask, I do apologise. I am not ignoring you. My ADHD ass will likely just forget that I even have an inbox, sometimes. I also suffer from many chronic and disabling health issues, so sometimes a request may take longer to complete than others.
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ℑ 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔶 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔬𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔤:
The Dere tropes (Yandere, Tsundere, etc.) - I don't have anything against such tropes, I am just unable to write for it, myself.
Monster!characters/monster!reader are a bit of a hit-or-miss, but I am uncomfortable with writing for straight-up ferality in any participating party.
I won't write for much more than a beginner/crush relationship with minor characters. I'm not an idiot, I know some of the things minors get up to these days in terms of relationships. I just won't write it.
I will not write anything non-consensual. No exceptions.
Fics featuring children or pregnant characters are also a hit-or-miss topic for me. I guess it kinda just depends on the day.
#ChainofHyrule#Rules#legend of zelda#link x reader#links x reader#chain#rules always subject to chage
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really pisses me off how every single doc, psych, therapist puts words in your mouth and a lot of it comes around to blaming you for your problems.
"so when you cant sleep, you get anxious about it and then stress about sleeping, and then its harder to fall asleep" NO!!!! THIS DOESNT HAPPEN TO ME!!!!! OFTEN IM LAYING THERE AS RELAXED AS I CAN POSSIBLY BE UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES AND IT DOESNT DO JACK SHIT!!!!!!
"you have to see the little glimmers of light in the day and feel hope that things will get better" I DID THAT!!!!!!!! FOR SO MANY YEARS!!!!!!!!! I LITERALLY DID THAT AND GUESS WHAT!!!! THINGS NEVER GOT BETTER!!!! YOU NEED MONEY AND A HEALTHY BODY TO SOLVE ISSUES, NOT TO THINK .:~*EVEN MORE POSITIVE*~:.
my disability and my poverty are not caused by a negative attitude or lack of trying or anything like that. theyre caused by me growing up abused with zero support and zero resources and becoming an adult with zero support and zero resources.
me having a positive attitude and always trying to find hope even in the worst times = i didnt kill myself yet motherfucker.
im STILL NOW, while things are horrible and ive pretty much given up on everything and feel no hope for the future and am halfway suicidal all the time, STILL seeking treatment and therapy, hence why im at your fucking office instead of floating down the river, therapist who puts words in my mouth
if you have nothing to say to a patient that doesnt hate themselves, doesnt blame abuse on themselves, doesnt accept that the government and the system tries to fuck them over and keeps spitting in its face and arguing back and fighting for their rights. keeps searching for ways to fix the problems despite the system trying to kill you in return. if you have nothing to say without putting words in my mouth and trying to force me into some made up image of a pessimistic person. then youre a bad fucking healthcare worker
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I am so absolutely sick of the narrative that life with a disability is just “different” in a completely neutral way and that the struggles that come with being disabled, no matter what they are or how severe, are inherently not that big of a deal.
I am painfully aware every minute of every day of every way in which my limitations and abnormalities negatively impact my life. I wish every day that I had the luxury of being unaffected by them. And it is perfectly healthy, okay, and within reason for me to feel this way, because it is perfectly healthy, okay, and within reason for people to wish to be able to live their lives how they want, and to have a similar experience with life to their peers. The idea that no disabled person wants to be non-disabled or that disabled people who want to be non-disabled just have the “wrong attitude” is profoundly dehumanizing. If I asked you if you would be happy with being unable to get a degree or work or make friends or form romantic relationships or live independently, would you say yes? The idea that people like me must or should be okay with such circumstances, because we must or should have fundamentally different standards for happiness than everyone else, is predicated on the assumption that we are in some way less than human.
And then there is the issue of silencing disabled voices who do not support this narrative. The people who say, “I’ve been in a wheelchair for five years, and it’s been the worst five years of my life,” or “my incurable chronic pain is severe enough that I no longer wish to live with it,” are not only not given attention, but are actively dismissed. They are, as I said, accused of simply having the “wrong outlook on life,” because of this damaging, incessant fixation on diminishing the negative and presenting disability in a positive light at all times. But their feelings of pain and upset are just as legitimate and significant as any other disabled person’s feelings of joy or contentment. And it should not be a controversial statement to say that sometimes despair, anger, and/or a desire for things to be different are appropriate and normal ways to respond to unfortunate circumstances.
And when care options like MAID are denounced as “evil” and “eugenics” and fought against by non-disabled people in the name of people with disabilities, the voices of disabled people who have themselves fought, sometimes for decades, for the right to such options are cast aside and spoken over. Yes, many people who seek medically assisted death would not seek it were they receiving excellent care in a society that was willing to properly accommodate their needs, but we are not talking about some hypothetical alternate dimension versions of people, we are talking about people alive right now who will never live under such circumstances, and what rights they should have regarding their own lives. We can work towards a future where people with disabilities are given better access to care and are more comprehensively supported by their governments and communities while also acknowledging the reality and wishes of the people who have to exist in between that future and now. And regardless, no matter how bothered you may be by this fact, there are some disabled people who would wish to have the option of MAID even if they were given all of the support, care, and accommodation in the world, and their voices matter, too.
Disabled people are not emotionally deficient animals who are too ignorant of their circumstances or too simple minded to be capable of longing for anything better, their feelings matter even when those feelings make non-disabled people uncomfortable, and there is no disabled person's perspective on their own life and experiences that is "incorrect" or that is not deserving of consideration.
#disability#chronic disability#disability pride month#autism#mental illness#chronic pain#MAID#medical assistance in dying#anoma's
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I may be wrong of course, but I've heard that the crew truly wanted to make the show darker after true colours, but that they weren't allowed. In retrospect, was it the right choice?
That depends on what was planned. I could easily see a version of S3 where the Plantars are taken more seriously, especially on Earth. If that's what was meant by that, I could see that improving the season. However, it would also mean that there wasn't as much balance against the shit Anne, Amphibia and her parents were going through so even that would require tweaking.
It's hard to speculate without more details, much like how people going "Dana wanted to make it darker" for TOH means absolutely nothing. Dark storytelling is too nebulous to convey anything by saying 'darker'. Like I talked about before, it's a description that inherently needs something to contrast against in order to actually mean anything.
So this could mean that it would have been exactly like fans wanted where Anne is crying and mentioning Marcy every other line and that would have been AWFUL! But it could also mean they just wanted to do a little more about Anne having gone missing for months, how people react to that, and that was put on the cutting room floor which I am more mixed about. It's complicated like that, like most creative endeavors are.
I don't like to dwell on what ifs though for a story. The only perfect work is the one that is never made. It's part of why I actually feel really awkward about my concept pitch blogs. Those stories probably sound great to people but of course they do. It only has to tell you its themes and the highlights to sound really cool. It doesn't have to do the other 99% of the work to actually exist.
So sure, a darker S3 of Amphibia, or darker TOH, could have maybe been amazing but I don't care. We have to evaluate what exists because excusing it with what was intended is just a backhanded way to say they were bad at getting their point across with the story they did go with. Or, in the case of potential meddling, that they're bad at adaptation and need ideal circumstances to create which most creatives will tell you NEVER HAPPENS.
Almost no one gets the sort of blank checks Hideo Kojima gets given and despite those checks, his works are a still a complete mixed bag because, you know, they're still creative works. And again, just to drive this home: The only creative work that is perfect is the one that is never made.
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I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!
I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past.
I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead.
If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.
A Twitter you can follow too
And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.
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Human rights on a case-by-case basis
People really, really need to stop discussing autonomy (especially for young people, poor people, or disabled people) with concepts like "it depends on the individuals" or "on a case-by-case basis."
"It depends on the individuals" or "on a case-by-case basis" are valid concepts for assessing whether an individual choice is a good idea, or the right choice for the circumstances. Whether something is a good idea is almost always context-dependent. Sure.
But when the question is whether someone should have the right to make a choice, or when the question is whose choice it should be, the context doesn't matter. The individual doesn't matter. The circumstances don't matter. Autonomy is a human right. Cognitive liberty is a human right. Our rights should not be determined on a case-by-case basis. Our rights should be universal and absolute.
This comes up a lot in medical contexts, especially as mad pride and anti-psychiatry spaces place more emphasis on "medication is bad" than on "coercion is bad," and the vague rebuttal is that medication can be good or bad "depending on the individual" " on a case-by-case basis." This still bypasses the central issue of autonomy and coercion.
Is taking prescribed medication a good idea? Maybe. It depends on the individual. Decide on a case-by-case basis.
Should an individual have the right to choose whether to take prescribed medication? Yes. Unequivocally. In every case. In every circumstance. It does not depend on the individual, because every individual is equally deserving of human rights. In this context, pro-coercion people are hiding behind the ambiguity of "it depends on the individual" to convey that some individuals should not have the basic human right to control their own bodies.
I've gotten into a lot of arguments recently about the brain maturity myth that young adults as "still children," specifically about young adults' freedom to enter romantic relationships of their choice, or have children if they choose to. But the strongest defense I regularly see of youth rights in these contexts is "it depends on the individuals."
Whether or not a given romantic relationship or family situation is a good idea, whether a relationship will lead to a mutually satisfying lasting partnership, whether it will lead to long-term happiness -- these things depend on the individuals. They are context-dependent, and different for everyone. The correct answer to "Should an 18 year old get married or have children?" is "It depends on the individual."
But the correct answer to "Should xe have the right to choose to get married or have children?" is always yes. It does not depend on the individual. It does not depend on whether this choice is a good idea or likely to lead to long-term success. Relationship autonomy and reproductive rights do not depend on whether something is a "good idea." They are simply human rights.
Arguments about institutionalization and adult guardianship also always devolve into "You don't know the individual" or "You don't know the whole situation" -- as though the right to control of one's own body and mind is situational. We don't have to know every individual or every situation, because the situation doesn't matter. The individual characteristics of the person being subjected to a human rights abuse aren't relevant.
In general, anything that shifts conversation to the specifics of a decision someone wants to make, when the issue at hand is their right to make the decision in the first place, is a harmful derailing. It's fine to be judgmental of someone else's life choice, or to think they're making a mistake, but that's not what's relevant. Your support for people's right to freedom of speech shouldn't depend on your agreement with what they're saying, and your support for bodily and cognitive autonomy shouldn't depend on whether you think someone is making "good choices."
In fact, consider taking the Signal Boost Someone Fighting For The Right To Do Something You Disagree With, WITHOUT Mentioning That You Disagree With It Challenge. Really. Try it. Denounce that group home not letting its inmates drink soda WITHOUT adding your opinion that soda is bad. Support that religious freedom case WITHOUT tacking on that you think the person's religion is wrong. Argue for that disabled young adult's right to move in with a partner against xyr parents' wishes WITHOUT weighing in on xyr partner or their relationship. Defend that pregnant person's right to give birth as xe chooses WITHOUT adding that xe's making the wrong choice. You might find that your opinion of other people's autonomy is less important than you think it is!
#mad pride#disability rights#youth rights#religious freedom#free speech#body autonomy#reproductive autonomy#cognitive liberty
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howdy hey, i was wondering what your thoughts on the new hunger games movie were? you made a post saying you were gonna see it, so idk if im too early and you havent yet, but was curious your thoughts on it :)
i really really liked it!!! i just got back from seeing it with my friends and we all agreed it was better than both mockingjay movies in our opinions! i hadn't read the book yet (i know i know i'm kicking myself too) so i was really worried they were going to try to portray snow as the type of person who had good intentions but was corrupted by the system, which would have been aggravating to watch considering the sheer number of children snow will murder throughout his life. i wouldn't have been able to enjoy myself if i knew they were trying to make me feel sorry for snow. instead, they make it clear that he always had his own interests in mind, and although he's fully capable of love, loyalty, and morality (and occasionally does act with those characteristics in mind), he chose to follow a darker path. i absolutely love that writing decision!
when my friend and i realized that snow and lucy gray were flirting we turned to each other and said "are they seriously doing this??" but i was soooo impressed with how they handled the romance and especially with where their relationship was when the movie ended. i mean, i really should have had faith because suzanne collins has never let me down in the "nuanced and uniquely fucked up romance" category before 😌 i honestly think part three (after the arena) was my favorite even though the vibe shifts so harshly it almost feels like it becomes a psychological thriller. i'm just so so relieved they were able to show the inherent humanity in snow WITHOUT being like "see? both sides are bad! all people can be monsters given the right circumstances! the genocidal maniac feels bad about his actions, but what could he have done to stop it? :(" you know what i mean? the narrative allows you to feel snow's emotions without ever using them as an excuse. most of the time his feelings are not even a reasoning for his actions – even when he feels bad about something he's done, he makes no attempt to change. in fact he seems to accept that he's gone too far, so it'll be easier to bury his emotions down deep so he can do even worse shit without feeling bad about it. god it was just so INTERESTING
from a technical standpoint it was less impressive tbh, the cinematography was nothing special (not ugly, just okay). lucy gray's actress was good but she really shined in the subtle facial expressions (such as her growing distrust for snow) and when she was performing on stage, but not so much in emotional outbursts. snow's actor was the opposite, he reallyyy shined during high emotion.
i'm not entirely sure how i feel about viola davis' or peter dinklage's characters. we've seen how superficial, ableist, and classist the capitol is, so i find it odd that two of the most powerful people are visibly disabled. it just doesn't track with who the capitol is. but then again, it also seems that in the early days of the capitol, everything is MUCH less flashy and ostentatious; people are still stuck up and classist, but it's a far cry from the absolute spectacle that the capitol and the games would become 60 years later. compare tigris in this movie to who she becomes later and the shifting culture becomes super obvious:
so if they were trying to show that the people in the capitol used to treat disabled people as equals but no longer do, as a sign of their decreasing sense of humanity and community, then i think it was effective. but i'm not sure if that was the intention, i'll have to look into it more
ANYWAY IT WAS REALLY GOOD!!! i wrote all of this as soon as i got home so i haven't had time to sit with it or anything. i'll post more if i think of anything else!
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Thess vs Averted Crises
Birthday dinner went fairly well, apart from a couple of hiccups. And at least one of those ... well, I’m kind of proud of me for how I handled it.
For the most part, all was good - we ate sushi and talked about stuff. But Mum wanted to tell an anecdote and immediately mentioned “that whole trans thing”. Look, ordinarily, my mother is relatively chill about all of this. I don’t know if the friend of hers involved in the anecdote was chill about this. Plus, frankly, I’ve been putting up with transphobic bullshit for too long now - and even more vituperously put for the last couple of weeks and worst of all today given that Hogwarts Legacy cane out and ... well, mess. So I literally begged: “Please, please, any other day but today. It’s not because it’s my birthday, it’s a whole other thing, please just not today”. Mostly because I did not want to get involved in the JK Rowling Saga with my mother, but also partly because I don’t want to talk about Westminster blocking Scottish Parliament’s Gender Recognition Act because I don’t know where she is politically right now and it feels better not to go into it. At most, if pressed, I would have said something about “it’s been a pretty big thing on the internet lately, and with my friends, and since a friend of mine recently came out as trans I am a little sensitive about it as much on her behalf as anything else and I just want a break from anything that hints at transphobia”. But mostly ... it’s not really a topic of conversation for a small, crowded, overly loud Japanese restaurant. So I set the boundary - just, please, not today.
Mum’s response: “Okay. But can I just ask this one thing? I--”
I mean, she was starting to ask whether I said it was okay or not. This is one of the things she does; I set a boundary within the conversation, and she asks to just nudge that boundary lightly, and then if I give her that inch, she takes a mile. With a bulldozer that destroys the entire boundary. So I just asked her, “Why do you always push that boundary?” Like, seriously, why do you ask if you can carry on with ‘just one thing’ when the person you’re talking to has already said “please not the thing”? And then she started the passive-aggression. “Oh, so I just can’t ask you anything ever again. Fine. I won’t ask and you’ll never know what I was going to say”. I did repeat that I was fine with answering her questions any other day, but not today because of factors entirely separate from her, the date, or anything else beyond some circumstances my end that I would happily tell her about when I wouldn’t have to shout over drunken people. She did eventually chill about that, at least, but there was a brief sulk that I hadn’t let her just stampede over my conversational boundaries the way I normally do.
I explained the second one to her satisfaction, at least. We moved from there to talking about my intellectually disabled aunt, who is not happy with the move into her new, rather smaller accommodations. I did flag up that my aunt does not like change at all, and isn’t inclined to look at the bright side and make the best of it the way I tend to. She was probably still a little pissed about the shutting down the conversation about “that whole trans thing”, because she snapped right into, “And when was the last time you were forced into changes against your will? She gets no say in any of these things! The last time you didn’t have a say in things, you were sixteen!” I elected not to flag up that I don’t currently really have a say in where I live because I could not afford to live on my own even if I could work full time and I’m at the mercy of which flat they’re happy to let me live in at whatever pace they want it made ready, because technically she’s right - I have a choice. Just all of the options are unfeasible beyond the ones that I am, for all there are issues, grateful to have at this point. Anyway, I flagged up that yes, she was right, and it must be very frustrating for her, so no wonder she dislikes change so much, and that I wasn’t stating it as a failing in my aunt, but rather expressing sympathy for her current position. Which toned the whole thing down, thank the gods.
Unfortunately, it nearly fell apart again a little bit after that, because ... it’s a Friday night and that little Japanese restaurant is the only one in our immediate area, and is quite popular. A whole big party had just come in, and were standing at the bar talking very loudly, and the party of four sitting next to us had just become a party of six, and I was starting to get that ice-pick-to-the-temple pain while she was flipping through her phone to show me a picture of where my aunt has a picture of me at my first big school dance sitting in pride of place on a shelf (she’s had that in every home she’s had since she got that picture something like thirty years ago, so that was touching). Anyway, I asked if we could go after that, because it was loud and crowded. My mother went nuts, going, “No! I will finish my wine first! Chill!” I was a little taken aback at being snapped at, but I settled, a little uncomfortable because I hadn’t intended it to be insulting or anything but not that peeved; just headachy and weirded out. Mum apparently took that expression as pouting and being put out or something, because she kept on about “When did you get this way? Will you just settle?” I told her I was settling and tried to school my facial expression a bit because what the hell else was I going to say? I’d pushed my luck once at that dinner and wasn’t going to push it again by adding that I was just getting a headache and was struggling to make myself heard over the ambient noise.
I think she finally got that because she told me I could go and she’d sit and finish her wine. Which I did - not because I don’t like her company but because I don’t like loud crowds or the feeling like someone’s jamming an ice pick into my left temple. She patted herself on the back a bit for stopping the “that trans thing” conversation because “that’s hard for me, you know!” I allowed that it was, and decided not to say that she should honestly get used to it because sometimes people have boundaries and crossing them is a shitty thing to do no matter how much you personally want to talk about a thing. She did stop. It’s a start.
Beyond that, it went well, and I went home with a belly full of lovely sushi and a very pretty birthday card. I’ve had worse birthdays.
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hey ive been sorta keeping up with ur gun stuff and was wondering, like.. what made you decide to go for it? its such a daunting decision to me, to allow myself the power to end a life. im not gonna get too into it bc this is a tumblr ask but ive been kind of scared for my safety as of late, and i'm planning on taking some self defense classes and maybe getting some pepper spray and knives but... i'm scared it won't be enough. but then, i'm also scared that a gun would be too much. like, if i had one, if i ended up facing the ex that's making me feel unsafe, if i would have the restraint not to kill him. anyway sorry for getting all heavy in ur inbox i just don't rly see a lot of other armed trans ppl to talk to abt this.
I want to preface this by saying that I consider myself a novice firearms user.
Regarding my gun ownership:
There were a lot of different factors that pushed me from my anti-gun background into firearms training and then gun ownership. Perhaps I can distill it down thusly: The fash already have guns, and they want to kill us. It seems that they have been getting bolder recently. I live in a city considered a "queer enclave," but I think that that also makes us a target. And I don't want to be a target that can't shoot back.
Regarding self-defense and the power to end a life:
Unfortunately there is no completely "nonlethal" means of self-defense. Every weapon and attack exists on a spectrum of potential lethality. This is something you will have to accept no matter what form of self-defense you use. Even a weapon that is designed to be "nonlethal" can kill given the right circumstances. Say, hypothetically, you used pepper spray on someone with a respiratory condition, or you used a stun gun on someone with a heart condition, they could die. These examples are uncommon but have happened before. Hell, people die in fistfights.
I would really really advise against carrying a knife for self-defense.
Firstly, it is very difficult to quickly incapacitate someone with one.
Secondly, if you do not want to kill someone, they are also a bad choice. Stabbing or slashing with a knife can cause potentially lethal wounds, but the cause of death would likely be exsanguination, meaning that while they're bleeding out they could still have time to harm you or others, like, for example, taking the knife away from you and stabbing you, since you have to be at extremely close range to stab someone in the first place.
Gun ownership is not for everyone. If you do not feel like you should have the ability to end someone’s life extremely quickly, do not buy a gun, full stop. It is a huge responsibility.
If you want a less-than-lethal method of self-defense, my #1 recommendation would be pepper spray (POM brand is pretty good). I’ve been pepper sprayed and I can verify that that shit is pretty disabling if used correctly.
No matter what form of self-defense you use, training is paramount. Get trained. Having a tool that you cannot use properly is just as bad as not having that tool at all.
Also, you should be aware of the laws in your area. In the event of a scenario where you have to physically defend yourself, you do not want to be carrying or using anything illegal to do so. In my area, many kinds of knives and various self-defense weapons are illegal to carry.
(P.S. to any subject matter experts feel free to chime in. I do not intend to be a dumbass.)
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Holli’s Shiny New Commission Sheet
In all honesty, this sheet is temporary. I’m working on an actual updated sheet where I’ll redraw etoile miku and hopefully update my painted style as well, but my old sheet felt too disingenuous to leave pinned. My art has changed a lot since then. So here’s the temporary new sheet :)
Sketches!
Headshot - $2
Bust - $3
Half-Body - $5
3/4 Body - $7
Full Body - $10
Lineart!
Headshot - $3
Bust - $5
Half-Body - $7
3/4 Body - $10
Full Body - $12
Color!
Headshot - $7
Bust - $10
Half-Body - $12
3/4 Body - $15
Full Body - $20
Reference Sheet Commissions:
- $40
- 1 Front Facing Full Body Color Illustration
- 1 Back Facing Full Body Color Illustration
- Color reference chart
Colored sketches / Concept art would follow the same pricing as Lineart!
- Unless otherwise specified, your art will come on a grey background.
- Transparents can be made upon request at no extra charge.
- I will only post your commission with your consent and if posted it will always have red text over it to prevent theft.
- Please do NOT remove my signature under any circumstances!
- Super Simple backgrounds such as textures, shapes, solid colors, or gradients are no extra cost. You just have to tell me what you want.
- Please try to tell me before the coloring stage.
- Specific Backgrounds range from and extra $5 to $15 depending on complexity
Ko-Fi Doodle Commissions:
- Minimum of $1 donation to my Ko-Fi
- The more you pay, the more color and detail I add.
- These are marker sketches
- Requests cannot be hyper specific.
- No revisions will be given to these doodles.
Terms of Service and other such details:
- I hold the rights to all finished illustrations unless you purchase commercial rights.
- Industry standard for the purchase of commercial rights is double the price of the drawing. If you would like to purchase commercial rights, the cost will be according to this industry standard. Ex: If your commission would normally come to be $40, to purchase the commercial rights you would pay $80 total.
- You are free to post your finished commission wherever you'd like without the big red commission watermark so long as you give proper credit and do not remove my small signature (the little HA with a flower next to it.)
- Using my works for the production of NFT's or anything Crypto-Currency related is prohibited.
- I will give up to 3 revisions per commission, any additional revisions will come at a small extra cost.
- No major revisions such as pose changes can be made once the coloring stage has begun. Small changes such as colors or small details can be altered.
Turnover Time:
- I am a rather slow artist and as such my turnover time is slow as well. Commissions could take up to a month. Please be patient with me.
- I do my best to communicate while working on the illustration as to ensure satisfaction with the progression of the art.
- If your commission ends up taking over a month for any reason, you will be offered 2 options:
1. I finish the drawing and offer a partial refund of half of what you paid.
2. I give a full refund and do not finish the drawing.- Please understand that I am disabled and my medical issues make it difficult to complete anything in a timely fashion. If you need art fast, I'd recommend looking elsewhere for an artist. If you don't mind a bit of a wait, I'd be happy to draw for you.
Will Draw :
- Fanart
- Original Characters
- Real People with photo reference
- Humanoids
- Mild NSFW (nudity / mildly suggestive)
- Disability aids such as canes, wheelchairs, hearing aids, braces, etc.
- MemesWon't Draw :
- Mechs / Really angular or bulky robotic stuff
- Animals ( I mean I can try, but I cannot grantee good results)
- Furries (Again I can try, but no guarantees)
- Gore (Blood is okay, but guts and stuff is not)
- Anything medical themed such as hospital scenes or doctors. (For personal reasons I can only do this of my own accord and not for commissions)
- Very buff people. I'm sorry I'm just not very good at it yet. I am best at drawing soft and squishy things.If I am uncomfortable with your request I reserve the right to decline the commission.
Payment:
- I accept Paypal and Zelle.
- Payments can be made either entirely upfront or in 2 payments, one upfront and the other after the completion of the sketch.
- Refunds can be given if commission takes more than a month to complete or if informed of cancellation during the sketch phase.
#commissions#commission#my commissions are open#doodle commissions#artist#art#Digital Illustration#Illustration
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I don't know what to TW this as, I don't think this is quite financial abuse but there's definite gaslighting mentioned here.
I live at home with my mum, and I'm an only child. She is my carer, as I am disabled, but she is verbally and emotionally abusive at times.
Medical professionals have determined that while one of my conditions may improve (which is not impacting my physical ability), my others will not, and she cannot accept that. She keeps saying if we rebuild my stamina, I could go out and do things every day, and this is not true, and even doing things every other day damages my body after a week.
Now, I do not need supervision all the time, I mostly need her when I leave the house or to cook meals if they need the stove or preparing, so she can go out when she likes - we eat dinner together anyway, with the same food - but I feel like she wants me to get better so she can do trips out and get me to pay for them.
I only say this because if we go out together, she makes me pay for everything, even if she's the one who asked (or begged me to go with her) because suddenly 'she's only there for me' and I must have forgotton that I wanted to go in the first place which is a load of bollocks unless that happens every single time, but it's really bugging me.
I know it seems like quite the accusation, but I'm really tired of it and have no way of truly escaping without becoming completely housebound and limited to unhealthy meals. My only hope is if I find a partner willing to give up their independent life, but it can be hard to do that when you have a parent hovering over your shoulder when not in the house. I got close once but he was abusive in all the ways, worse than her, but she has the same behaviours so that worries me, too.
(also she literally said recently that even if I got better enough that she could get a job and stop being my carer, she'd prefer to keep that quiet so she doesn't have to work as she feels done with that)
I don't really know what this is, I think I'm asking for reassurance that I'm not going crazy and that her behaviour is odd at least - I understand that to her, a full life is out and about every single day, but even if that was my ideal life, it's not healthy for me and there is nothing stopping her from doing those things without me, other than my money. And given I pay for 75% of the bills/shopping/rent, even for things that are not in my name, plus my own bills, she can afford to go out and spend a bit of money on these things (she spent £100 on a bird feeder last week then whined that she was skint and needed money from me, so maybe she just needs to prioritise, but still, not really the point).
Hi anon,
I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been going through. Please know that you're not going crazy and your concerns are valid.
While it sounds like your mom may be coming from a place of optimism by suggesting that your stamina could be improved, it's important for her to understand that it doesn't really work like that and she needs to digest the fact that your disability does have its limits, especially considering the damage it can potentially do to your body to ignore that.
It doesn't sound fair that she makes you pay for everything. It's understandable to be exhausted by this. Considering the circumstances it should really be her paying for these things, especially because they seem to largely be her ideas. Worst comes to worst perhaps splitting a bill (evenly, might I add), but you shouldn't be covering expenses every single time, that's simply unbalanced and exploitative.
Please let us know if there's anything we can to do help you in this situation. It doesn't sit right with me the idea that you're just stuck in this position and I wish there was something I could do.
I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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