update tinder guy superliked me, asked me on a date, spent the entire thing belittling and making fun of me and seeming vaguely angry at me. then asked me for a second date

(Sorry if I spell something wrongly lol) Idk, This is my opinion? Gryffindor, Jungkook. Hufflepuff, Taehyung & Yoongi. Ravenclaw, Namjoon & Jin. Slytherin, Jimin & Hobi??? I literally just searched the meaning of each house and just picked one based on the personality shown. Also, If you don't think this matches them, Sorry ;-;

[Don't worry, sweetie ^^. You don't have to apologise! 💕🍑]

Hoseok is a lot more two faced than I actually tend to show. The way he presents himself is mostly a mask. While he seems mostly calm on the outside, he's actually quite the opposite on the inside. Out of all the boys it'd be easiest for him to manipulate/influence Y/n (@bangtans-apollo Tae is quacking-) and he's aware of that. That's one of the reasons why they started the club 1. To protect Y/n, 2. The club concept came because it'd be easier to meet up and they would automatically get a clubroom and 3. Hoseok threatened to tell on them if they don't join, he'd make Y/n despise each one of them.

He is a strong leader (one of the Slytherin traits), I try to make him resourceful (but I am not myself so that might not shine through too much), he is definitely cunning. The whole ordeal with wanting to be with Y/n no matter what is pretty ambitious, I'd say. And lastly the traditionalism trait, he is very into tradition and has to keep his domestic fantasies with Y/n a secret. His parents raised him very traditional, he would hate it if (female) Y/n would ask him out first or would propose first and would at first frown upon his attention to (male or non binary) Y/n.

All in all Slytherin seems very accurate.

Now concerning Jimin; similar to Hoseok he too can be a two faced snake. He doesn't hide his true thoughts from Y/n or the boys, if anything he overshares sometimes (one time he started talking to Taehyung about some... rather inappropriate things concerning Y/n. That got his Y/n privilege taken away for a whole month). And despite practically pleading to be the "dumb bimbo" stereotype, he is surprisingly clever and intelligent. Before Highschool, before he made his first experiences with popular boys, he was a straight A's and B's student. Yet once he had his first boyfriend, he discovered that the people surrounding him typically preferred the dumb blondes. (He actually broke up with the captain of the football team for Y/n.)

He also sometimes displays ambitious, just in a whiney sort of way. Self preservation is definitely something. Unlike Taehyung, Yoongi, Namjoon or Jeongguk, he wouldn't let himself be killed for Y/n's sake. If Y/n were to be killed he would end up deluding himself into thinking a person who looks similar to them is them and would force Y/n's personality and style on them. Cunningness is 100% accurate. He's fake. He pretends to be a silly sweetheart who loves everyone but will spread rumours about you, blame things on you etc. and everyone believes him. His cunningness concerning Y/n is more whiney than anything.

So I do think Jimin fits Slytherin.

Namjoon was raised by strict parents who forbade him a tremendous amount of things and painted his world for him. It was engraved in his head, he was going to be the CEO of their company one day. Yet despite everything he still had a head of his own. Maye it was because if his high IQ that he understood that his parents weren't the only opinion in his life. Don't get me wrong, they still left him scarred (sadly literally, as his father once hit him bloody) and traumatised but not without a mind of his own. Ever since he was small creativity and originality was something he admired and loved. It was partly reason of why he fell for Y/n, their individuality, their mind, their heart, their soul.

We will not need to discuss intelligence, it's a trait he undoubtedly has. He is always willing to learn and showed interest in many different things before Y/n captured his focus. He is most likely one of the wisest members as he is aware of how twisted his love for them truly is (once again something I tend to fail at portraying) and tried to stop it when it started. But somehow that only made everything worse and by now he doesn't care anymore at all. When he was a child he used to be more openly curious than nowadays (as it caused him many punishments from his parents).

I feel that Namjoon would fit Ravenclaw.

Seokjin was spoiled all his life. His parents adored him, other kids adored him, everyone adored him. While he might've acted oblivious he knew that it's because of his money. Similar to Jimin, Seokjin changed when he entered high school. While he always was a pretty intelligent and well behaved student (still very arrogant though) he then became less concerned with studies and once made a teacher cry (that was before he met Y/n). He loves standing out as an individual, that includes making anyone change who crosses his path with the same outfit (not in school as they wear a school uniform. But outside, yes, he has that much power. Everyone knows Kim Seokjin).

As said before, Seokjin is far from stupid. He is a very intelligent individual but doesn't show the extent of his nolage. Instead aiming for a cool "Queen B" persona. He is witty with his comebacks (something I cannot write because I do not possess that superpower), he's quick with his words. He holds respect for people who are 60+ years old as he believes they've been through a lot in life already. These people have wisdom he could only gain by experience and that he respects (there is one very sweet lady that lives alone in a very big mansion a few streets away from his penthouse. He always visits her because he loves her genuine kindness. When he met Y/n she recently passed away and he saw a part of her in them).

Seokjin could qualify for a Ravenclaw.

Taehyung was raised by a very Christian family that he still cherishes very much. Because of their intense belief he was raised to worship. He never fell in love, so when Y/n crossed paths with his, he started showing love how he's used to it (Out of all the boys Taehyung is straight up insane. Something in his brain might be wired wrong, there is no explanation on why he likes them, on why he believed that's what love is because his parents treated him with normal, familiar love. So he is simply sick, there is no "saving" him. He's better of in a mental hospital). But he was always a very kind boy. Giving instead of taking, never wanting anything in return. Out of everyone, Taehyung was the one who welcomed new students and made tons of friends. But he grew out of it as his focus turned to art. He aimed to make his parents proud so he didn't have time for friends.

His loyalty is unlike any other. You could torture him half dead and he'd still forgive you, stay loyal to you, serve you. He is Y/n's servant. He works hard on improving his artistic abilities and also to maintain fairly good grades. For Y/n any labour he'd have to be put through would seem like a blessing. Another trait for Hufflepuff would be fairness and he surely is fair. As one of the least jealous members of the club he really only cares if Y/n's okay with what's happening or could get hurt (he always kets the other members have more privileges than he has because he believes it'd be not only greedy but prideful to want Y/n to hinself. He avoids any sin when it comes to Y/n, envy, wrath, pride, sloth, nothing will ever come near his modern day Jesus).

Taehyung definitely is a Hufflepuff.

If the boy who works two parttime jobs, to pay for rent, bills and food, cleans the shabby apartment by himself because his alcoholic mother is busy messing it up again, yet still treats his mother with kindness, only to be treated like trash by seven more powerful and successful guys in his school who all like the same person he does and still manages to maintain the position as intern and honour roll student at a prestigious school for roch people, isn't in Hufflepuff then I don't know what. This poor soul is incredibly sensitive and kind. He isn't judgemental (as he himself is used to people judging him). All round very sweet.

I think it's very clear that he's very diligent and hard working. He holds great passion for music and enjoys writing poetry, a very sensitive soul. Yoongi isn't someone to complain about something being unfair (cough cough Jimin cough cough) or try and steal Y/n away from them. His day dreams consist of imagining Y/n liking him back, but he is certain that would never happen (according to you guys, it seems a lot of you would pick Yoongi if you'd get to decide). Not only is Yoongi kind but loyal as well, he'd never imagine leaving anyone behind even his useless mother.

Yoongi is 1000% a Hufflepuff.

Jeongguk tends to be hot tempered, he goes from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds. Everything in life seems like a challenge to prove he's better than others think (his father was a notorious serial killer who killed twenty one people yet got away with a ten year prison sentence and got released after six, ten months later Jeongguk was born). In truth he did not care for anyone else, only Y/n. So all tge chivalry he could muster was directed at them.

He is one brave guy who doesn't get easily scared (I guess living with as well as being a serial killer at sixteen years old desensitised him). Jeongguk is courageous just not in/for a positive way/purpose. He deluted himself into thinking that Y/n needs protection, HIS protection. He once attacked a teacher because they were helping Y/n with a question, that's very daring (more like stupid) just not in a good way. A (still not) more positive example of his daringness is when he wants to impress Y/n. He hung from a skyscraper for five minutes doing pullups, just to inpress them. One time he also jumped across his luxurious pool at home (and almost slipped, almost bashing his head in) just to prove that he can jump further than someone they talked about.

I could very much picture him as a Griffendor.

If you enjoyed reading my work, please consider reblogging it. Thank you for reading

What do you think about Kurt and Blaine’s chemistry in season 5? for some reason I’ve always felt like it was really off in the New York arc. I’m not sure whether it was the fact that the writers were only giving Klaine tension instead of happy moments or whether it was due to Darren/Chris, or if I’m just imagining it. Kurt just definitely seemed so cold during that period of time.

You know, I kinda figured I’d get this question eventually, lol.  

So - let’s talk about the New York Arc and Advanced Television Production.  

This question has /layers/ lol. 

For a simple answer, so you can check out if you’d like, I think their chemistry was fine, I think production was super rushed and flimsy at points, and I don’t really think Chris or Darren had anything to do what you might feel is /off/ but since actors are the face of the show, they get the brunt of the feedback.  

For a longer answer (and I mean long) follow under the cut! 

So, among being an avid fan of film production where I’ve picked up a lot of the industry knowledge (to which I’m not very -- just a fan) I’ve been listening a lot to The Office Ladies podcast, and they’ve been bringing some stuff up that I think is important to remember about film and tv production.  There are a lot of parts that go into it.  There’s the writer’s intentions, the director’s vision, the editor’s cut, the producer’s needs, and the actor’s performances.  And between those things - the show becomes what it is.  

1. The writing - The writing of Klaine in the New York Arc makes more sense when you look at the thing as a whole within context.  Kurt and Blaine were headed down a path towards a break up.  Kurt felt like he was losing his individuality and wasn’t communicating that well to Blaine, there were also some unresolved issues due to the previous break up, and the fact that Kurt was so stubborn on his stance about marriage.  Meanwhile, Blaine was so insecure, he depended on his relationship to mend those feelings, and tried to preserve that perfect feeling instead admitting that he needed help and the relationship wasn’t perfect.  

I’m oversimplifying, there are a lot more complex parts going on but neither of them were truly happy despite them feeling grown up adults in the city of their dreams.   The point being that they needed some time apart to grow up and mature a little to understand what being in an adult relationship means (explored more in season 6 after the break up).  

One of the problems, in general, with the writing is that it was so focused on the more dramatic moments of the Klaine story, we didn’t get to see much happy down time or times when they did work better.  This is a fault of Glee in general being a story about big moments and broad brushstrokes rather than zeroing in on the nuances of a complex relationship.  

2. The direction - believe it or not, the actors are kind of vessels for what production needs them to be.  Chris and Darren are both professionals (I’ll get to them in a minute) and if the director wanted more angst he’d give them another take.  Ultimately - the director makes the call whether or not he’s happy with how the scene is playing out.  If the directors weren’t happy with Chris or Darren’s performance, they would have done it over again.  

3. Editing - so, I’ve studied Glee long enough as an artform to now have paid attention to things like editing.  And let me say this -- I have long had issues with the way this show is edited.  I’ll have to do a separate post on it if you really want it, but let’s say -- how you put together a TV show from various takes makes a huge difference.  And by season five, the editing was choppy and often misleading.  Part of it is because the scripts weren’t great.  Part of it is because at this point I think they were under pressure to get things done in a short amount of time.  And part of it is, I believe, by season 5, most of production didn’t have their hearts invested as much as they used to.  

This goes and in hand with... 

4. General production -- I do think this context is important.  A beloved member of their family - Cory Monteith - had just passed away.  That is /hard/.  It’s hard to work around, it’s hard to write around, it’s hard to produce a show when someone you care for just isn’t there anymore.  On top of that - Glee was not as popular as it once was.  They were probably getting pressure from the network to do the show with less money, which meant less time to do all the normal production stuff -- and because glee had to incorporate things like musical performances, they were always pressed for time, which can cause sloppy production values.  

5. Notes from the Network - there are always some -- I have no idea what they were, and what the network insisted they had to change, but the network always hand some kind of hand in shaping the show for better or worse. 

6. Chris and Darren -- okay, let’s talk about this, even though I’m a little over this one, cause I’m tired of the two of them getting blamed for things - especially in season 5. 

First of all, I don’t know either of them personally.  And I think it’s unfair to speak for them.  Unless they come out and say specifically how they felt about that time period, I would say take this analysis with a grain of salt.  

No. I don’t think Chris was checked out.  I’ve often said that Chris’s time on Glee is a lot like going to college.  Sometimes it can be the best times! Sometimes it can be the worst.  I know when I finished, I just wanted it to be done and over so I could move on with my life.  I do think Chris was tired of certain aspects of the show -- I think he was tired of having to grow up on camera and in the media.  I think he was tired of people constantly thinking he was dating his costar when he (clearly) was not.  And both he and Darren were vocal about not really wanting Kurt and Blaine to get married (or being boring in the background of scenes). 

Do I think he hated his job? No.  Do I think he hated Klaine? No(ish).  I think he wished Kurt had his own story line, and I do think both he and Darren actually enjoyed the heavier emotional stuff they were getting by the time season 5 came around.  I also think that Chris does not want to be known as Kurt nor as one half of a popular TV couple because it impedes on his individuality.  And I also think Chris was ready to move onto other things in his life.  

Do I think that bleed into the show? No, I really do not.  I think Chris knew how the season was going to play out - and played it accordingly.  

(As an aside - I want to point out that Kurt during the NYC Arc is generally unhappy with more than just Blaine.  And in fact, I’d argue, he’s more irritated with Rachel at any given point than he is with Blaine.  Go watch Old Dogs New Tricks again -- he could have stuck it to Darren/Blaine, he did not.  He stuck it to Lea.  But that’s a completely different topic for later.)  

Meanwhile, Darren! So, I’m going to preface this by saying -- I love Darren, I really do, and under good circumstances, he can be a great actor.  And he has some just stellar moments in the NYC Arc.  He also has some not so great ones, too - and out of the two of them Darren wavers in acting quality during this time period.  I promise, it’s not a slam on Darren (I do love him!) but there’s some over-acting (and a little underacting) that’s going on, which doesn’t help much. 

Also, I want to point out, that a lot of issues Chris was vocal about concerning Klaine, Darren had as well, he was just better about being diplomatic to the fans about it.  He also wasn’t (as) bothered as Chris was about the whole tinhat thing (unless it involved verbally assaulting Mia, which then he put his foot down - yes that happened.) 

So.... let’s talk a little about the episodes in NYC Arc and hit up some of the problem points, shall we? 

New New York 

The biggest issue people always seem to have with this one is the performance of You Make Me Feel So Young - which is off putting out of context.  They’re supposed to be happily living together, right?? What’s going on?? Well, we’re a good nine months after Blaine moved in, it’s the morning after the bedbug scare where they were up half the night, and Kurt is a person who just needs his space and they’re living in a place that doesn’t have any walls. On top of that - Blaine is pushing a little hard on his fantasy of wanting to be an old married couple already. I’m not surprised Kurt isn’t all roses and daisies about it.  

Am I sad we didn’t get to see the first few months of sunshine and rainbows? Yes absolutely! They definitely allude to the fact that they’re having a lot of sex -- and I’m sure there were a ton of sexy times in the beginning. But living in one room with five-ish other people is not fun, especially for someone who needs alone time and space to recharge.  Or someone who just wants to have sexy times with his fiance and can’t because roommates.  

No, You Make Me Feel So Young isn’t the most feels-y, but I’ll also argue that Kurt isn’t the most checked out either.  There are moments in there where Kurt is genuinely happy and having fun messing around with Blaine.  And the point of the song is that they are young and shouldn’t be singing that dumb-ass song about being old marrieds anyway.  

The other thing is the whole Blaine moving out stuff.  Which... is entirely because it propels the plot of everything else going on, not because logic.  I do not really believe any young, engaged couple wouldn’t kick their friends out to their other friends house if that was an option so they could be together. But the show needed Kurt and Rachel to remain living together so Kurt could continue to be Rachel’s emotional prop.  Whatever. And they wanted to set up the ending where Blaine moved back in again as a full circle moment (even though they end up breaking up again, lol I’ll get to it.) 

So writing nonsense aside, I think they handled the important scene at the end of the episode really, really well.  It’s one of my favorite Klaine scenes because it’s a time when Kurt actually expresses what’s in his heart - that he’s conflicted because he’s figuring out that love is not all you need to make a relationship work and he doesn’t know how to navigate that -- or if ultimately, the relationship is what he wants.  But, it is, and his saying that his relationship with Blaine is one of the most precious things in his life is one of the strongest affirmations about anything that Kurt ever gives.  Happy or not happy in that moment, Kurt values his relationship with Blaine above everything - and will protect what he thinks the relationship means at all costs -- even if it means breaking his own heart in the process.  

Bash

This episode is a mess, and the weakest written episode of the arc.  It’s essentially two very different plot lines unevenly stapled together.  Kurt being bashed doesn’t get enough screen time, and it ends up being a morality tale for Rachel rather than delving into the impact it has on the actual gay members of the group.  Blaine’s POV is very limited, which is a shame because there’s an entire story there they really should have told.  

I’m using the still above to show that, yes, as awkward as the set up the scene above is - Kurt’s happy to see Blaine when he enters.  

Why is Kurt so cold during the scene where they lay flowers at the dude’s attack scene?  I don’t think he is? I think he’s recovering from getting the shit beaten out of him, and I’m under the impression that they guy actually died in the initial shooting of the scene and they changed it in post to have him live.  On top of that - Blaine’s feeling clingy because he almost lost the person whom his entire self worth is relying on at the moment.  

Tested

Tested is super, super complicated, and I’m just not going to rehash it here... again.  Please read my meta on this one - I do go incredibly in depth on it.  

I will say this -- Tested is an episode that is densely packed, and relies on subtext to tell a lot of its story.  While I love this episode, the episode needed to be 100% focused on Klaine to really do the stories they were telling justice, and a lot of it is up to interpretation.  

The biggest push back I always get on this one is the ending, and Kurt seeming ‘cold’ here.  And I’ll say this -- You can love a person deeply, and still be as affirming as you can, and still be upset about how they were treating you.  You can be sympathetic to their plights and frustrated that these conversations keep having to be had.  Blaine’s insecurities are feeling heavy to Kurt -- that is a part of being in a relationship, that is a part of being in an adult relationship.  Your prince and knight in shining armor is going to eventually be a human being with problems that you can’t always solve.  And sometimes that is tiring - no matter how much you love a person.  

Opening Night

There is zero Klaine in this episode - because it’s Rachel’s episode, and Kurt was needed as the gay best friend emotional prop.  Do I think there was an missed opportunity to show Kurt and Blaine happily dancing together at the club? I do! But I don’t think it has anything to do with any interpretation of their characters.  I think they told the actors to go have fun - and they did. 

The Back Up Plan

I don’t necessarily have any major faults with this episode, nor have I heard much push back against it?  Out of all of the episodes - this is the one where I do have some minor quibbles with acting, some of it being from Darren not clicking Blaine on for ten seconds or so at the beginning, and some of it from Chris being over-the-top in a few places, but nothing that fully takes me out of it.  Neither of them are being different in scenes with each other than they are in scenes with other people.  And there are some really solid Klaine moments in the episode itself.   

Old Dogs, New Tricks

AKA The one that Chris wrote.  Here’s my thing...  there isn’t very much Blaine in this episode (wisely so).  I think a) Chris wanted to write Kurt a story line that didn’t involve Blaine so Kurt could have a story line that didn’t have Blaine -- and that’s fine and valid and b) I don’t think he wanted the pressure of writing for Blaine, so wisely didn’t have him in it much. 

He wrote a very sweet Klaine moment that incorporated the overall story.  I have no complaints.  And I’ll add -- Chris (purposely so I assume) directed all the passive-aggressive writer-y things towards Rachel.  I do believe if he ultimately was having issues with Darren (or Blaine) he would have had zero compulsion about bringing that into the script. 

The Untitled Rachel Berry Project

Do people have issues with this one? -- I really only have one, and that’s the end of the scene referenced above with the still.  And it’s a good example of how I think production effects story.  This is a beautiful scene, until the last few beats.  We have this big emotional moment for Klaine -- and then it’s capped with a really dumb joke about Blaine being the luckiest guy in the world and a throwaway, badly edited kiss (scored to some upbeat, tacky scoring).  If it were me - I’d let the emotion of the scene continue, let the boys stay on the steps, let them kiss in an emotionally driven moment, and then they can go run up stairs to have sex and not make a joke about being turned on by birds.  The last ‘joke’ can be left on the cutting room floor because it’s really not needed.  But Glee being a ‘comedy’ felt the need to cap the moment before the break with a joke because it’s Glee.  

See what I mean? That’s not Chris or Darren’s fault.  That’s one part writing, one part directing/editing, and one part my opinion of it not working.  

Otherwise, I really don’t have issues with this particular episode. 

I’ll say this though -- a) Kurt is incredibly happy to have Blaine move back in and that means something.  b) the reason this is left on such an upbeat note, and not necessarily foreboding of what’s coming next season is that there was a real chance they weren’t getting a next season -- and they wanted to make sure the characters ended in happy places in case this was the series finale.  c) we were shortchanged two episodes from this season -- who knows what more they could have developed if the had had more time. 

*****

I don’t know if any of this helps (or if any of my additional meta helps) but I suppose I’ll say this -- I’ve meta’d these episodes so much that I see the cracks in the production, but I don’t really take issue with them anymore.  I like the story being told, and all things considered, I don’t think it’s all that bad.  

I think one thing to keep in mind is how Glee tells stories in general.  Are the couples happy? Well, then they’re in the background not doing anything.  Are they having conflict? Yes - well that’s front and center.  Also, keep in mind that Glee prefers telling stories about couples getting together more than them being together (or breaking up).  We start season 6 after the break up, and even season 4′s break up happens at the beginning of the season - why? Cause Glee loves writing angst-y couples who eventually get together in a big moment.  

And I’ll add to that -- did you notice that Sam and Mercedes go through a similar arc as Klaine during the NYC arc? No really - do you know why Mercedes breaks it off with Sam? Because their lives are just in different places and she wants to preserve her good feelings for Sam -- and that’s very similar to Kurt’s reasons at the beginning of season 6.  

No - this season isn’t happy, flirtiness of Kurt in season 2 (and I’ll argue that was Kurt’s story - not Blaine’s, and it’s also somewhat flimsy in structure when considering the love story aspect of it).  It’s not the background moments of season 3 - because they’re together, and there’s not a classroom to be backgrounds of.  (Could they have done a little more in the group scenes? Sure - but it’s not that bad.)  It’s not the angst fest of seasons 4 and 6.  And not helping is the fact that the first half of season 5 really had very little Klaine development at all.  

so, back to the beginning, I feel like the story they wanted to tell was about Klaine having conflict and resolving said conflict, and getting them to grow into an adult relationship.  Do I wish there were more happier times to balance that out? Of course I do! Do I feel like there’s a lack of chemistry or that Chris and/or Darren are to blame? Absolutely not.  Hope this helps a little Nonny - and feel free to ask me about specific moments if you need to <3 

gonna type up my thoughts on mando season 2 and the finale for anyone who’s interested and so I can process it....... (this is gonna be mostly negative thoughts sooo... thats your warning haha)

the mandalorian season 1 is something that brought me an immense amount of joy a year ago. i’ve always “liked” star wars but i’ve never really “loved” star wars, but I loved the mandalorian.... something about it. the small, western vibe, the mysterious main character with sexy armor, dad vibes, and a heart of gold. THE BABY YODA. the mandoLORE. the fact that it was completely its own little thing without having to be majorly connected to the massive star wars universe that we’re used to. and for sure it was a little clunky at times, but i loved it so much that i overlooked those things easily and even found it to be endearing.

i loved that it was created by people who knew star wars, had a passion for it, and a story they wanted to tell. they weren’t expecting to make a ton of money off it... like obviously it’s star wars, but i don’t think anyone truly predicted how majorly baby yoda would blow up or how popular the show would be with star wars fans. but of course.... then it did. and i hate to be that person but i think that’s when it all started to go downhill. like as soon as something becomes more about money and popularity than the story you’re actually trying to tell, you’ve already lost.

i won’t lie that just leading up to the mandalorian season 2, a lot of my excitement had fizzled out, but this was mainly due to the fact that other things have caught my attention in the meantime... but i was fully prepared to embrace the mando brainworms again. and like. the episodes were good! they were fine. i got enjoyment out of them. but something honestly felt.... missing? and it wasn’t until chapter 15 that i realized what that was.

season 2 is barely about din. it’s about... whatever else. boba fett. bo katan. ahsoka. luke skywalker. and these characters are fine on their own! and like... i honestly expected boba fett and other mandos to show up at some point (and i enjoyed boba’s time on the show, plus it makes the most sense for him to be there). but..... every episode became that thing that i hate that star wars and every other stupid reboot of every franchise does where they’re like. LOOK! look at this thing!!! u know this thing! well WE know this thing too!! and HERE IT IS!!! and it honestly upset me because YES there were a ton of star wars references in s1 but it was tasteful, yanno? it was more like easter eggs that the really dedicated star wars fans could appreciate and everyone else who didn’t get them weren’t really missing anything important and could still enjoy the show. but apparently now you also need to be familiar with hundreds of star wars tv show episodes so you can understand ahsoka and bo katan and it’s just ??? literally what is this even about anymore because it doesn’t seem to be about a mandalorian and his adoptive son. (dont get me wrong im fine with it referencing other star wars shows but i didn’t like the way it centered on these characters the majority of the time)

and then chapter 15 happened. you’ll notice that chapter 15 had no references to external star wars media (aside from boba fett, who was barely there), and was about din. it was about din and how far he would go to protect the child. doing the one thing they’d been building up to for almost two seasons by removing his helmet in order to accomplish this. it was awesome and i loved that episode so much and it really hit me during that episode how much i missed the show being about that. so yanno, i had high hopes for the finale....

which WAS... yanno..... fine.... like honestly i was having a good time there for a while. I liked seeing din go up against gideon... the buildup with the darksaber and the spear..... his only priority being the baby.... like, even seeing luke fight the bad guys i was like oh! ok neat i’m not against meeting luke right now and obviously he won’t run away with the baby because how would that make sense? there’s still definitely gonna be at least one more season and it would be insane for din to give up the baby and heck, we KNOW how luke’s jedi school went, after all  🤡...    🤡 🤡 ....🤡 🤡 🤡

so uh yeah. we get bad CGI luke (this is a whole other rant but like.... can we stop CGIing actors like just get a lookalike i am happy to suspend my disbelief save ur fx budget i promise it will suck no matter what). and we get.... we get a moment that i know others have already talked to death about but like.... din taking off his helmet in front of the entire room.... means what exactly?? he’s not a mandalorian anymore? he’s just gonna forsake his creed? that’s what we’re leading up to?? and it makes you realize that the helmet buildup they were going for this entire show really was that surface level. to the writers it was just about “yeah lets get din to tear down his walls! he loves his son so he’ll remove his metaphorical mask!!!” and not taking into account like. how they could have set that up so he wasn’t just straight up forsaking his creed....That should have been a private moment. Mandalorians are about family, and they could easily have made it about that. Grogu is his family. Din is accepting that at last. but.... nah

And then yeah he just yeets baby yoda off to luke skywalker who just like.... have i mentioned i really liked that this show wasn’t about the skywalkers..... it was a nice streak we had goin.... like if he had just come and gone without taking the literal lifeblood of the show I honestly would have been fine with it but.. nahhhh

and of course seven minutes left at that point had me hoping they would show din changing his mind but nope LOL they just were gonna tease the next star wars show..... and like last week when they announced like ten different star wars shows everything really clicked into place for me. like, oh, so that’s why this season felt more like an ad than a show about the mandalorian. we don’t even know if there will be a season 3 and honestly like... even if they do how would they go from here.... like without grogu what even is this show. either he’s totally gone which would be a huge mistake for obvious reasons, or they have to contrive some reason for din to get him back from luke, which will feel cheap. the only other option is... the show is over lol. neat. i guess they could make it about din becoming the mandalaore but uhh... pass.

overall just like. i was pretty disappointed with this season overall and for a while i thought I was just being grumpy until the last 2 episodes made me understand exactly why i haven’t gotten the same enjoyment i used to. FEELSBADMAN!!

Are you still in quarantine/under stay at home order? (if you're taking this during Covid-19, that is) The state isn’t, but I am. 

Has stuff been opening back up where you are? Yeah. Although, now dining in isn’t an option again in my area. 

What have you missed most that you haven't been able to do due to Covid-19? I didn’t do much even before all this, but I did like going grocery shopping with my mom and going to the movies, which we did quite often. And now with it being summer I’m really sad I can’t go to the beach. Beach days were the only thing I liked about summer. I could still go shopping with my mom and go to the beach, but I just don’t feel safe or comfortable going out in public and being around people right now when the number of cases are still so high and continue to rise. It makes me extremely anxious and scared. It doesn’t help that my state is a hotspot.

What state do you live in?  California.

Do you personally know anyone who has had Covid-19? Yes. She actually ended up recovering from that, testing negative later on, but she died recently from complications caused by it. She was on dialysis and after she got sick, even though she got better, it affected her kidneys and she had to stop dialysis. Once that happens, it’s not long after that you pass away. She was my grandma’s best friend, thus a very close family friend. :( She was the sweetest, caring, kindhearted person. 

Have you had it? (or think you might have?) No, not so far. Although, whenever I feel crappy or cough for any reason my mind automatically goes there. It’s not unusual for me not to feel well and have days where I’m feeling extra crappy, but nowadays I have to play the game: is it my normally crappiness or something else? :/ I also have dry mouth and my throat tends to get dry in the summer anyway and ugh again it’s something normal for me but I have to wonder about that, too.

Do you know anyone who is a healthcare worker? No. Well, apart from my doctors obviously.

Have you still been working these past few months or not? I don’t have a job. I wasn’t working prior to this either.

If you weren't working, are you still in school? No, thankfully. I graduated UC 5 years ago, so I’ve been done way before this started. What is/was your major in college?  I majored in psych.

Or if you're not in college yet, what do you want to study?

If your school closed due to Covid-19, do you miss it?

What are you most excited about when life goes (somewhat) back to normal? It’s hard for me to even see that point right now. I know people think I sound like a Negative Nancy, but I think I’m just being real. It’s goings to be a long time before we get to a point where we don’t have to have this virus looming over our heads everyday. It’s been kicking our ass. It’s never going to go away, it will likely be like the flu in that we have a covid season, but I pray we get to the point where we can get under control and managed. A point where there’s a vaccine and effective medication. But like I said, that’s going to take time. Masks may be the new way of life for many of us.

Did Covid-19 impact any major plans you had for this spring/summer?  No beach trips or birthday vacay. :( That’s not important, I know, but I am still sad about it.

Do you collect anything? Key chains and giraffe stuffed animals and knicknacks.

What's the name of your favorite restaurant? (chain or local) Wingstop. 

What is your favorite thing to order when you eat there? I get takeout, but anyway I love their boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings with their ranch. 

Have you still been able to get food from there during Covid-19? Yes. I always got takeout anyway, so that hasn’t been any different for me.

Are you planning on eating there anytime soon when they reopen? I’ll say it a 3rd time haha I just get it to go and eat at home.

Have you discovered any good new music during quarantine?  Yeah, but not because I’m in quarantine. That implies I’ve done so because I’ve been home and had more time to do so or only did so because I didn’t have anything to do. I’ve spent most of my time at home the past few years, not just this year.

What's a new song you've been loving lately? (not necessarily newly released, just something you've recently discovered) Lately I’ve been getting new music from TikToks. A couple recent ones are Dream Girl by Ir Sais and Summer Days by Martin Garrix ft. Macklemore and Patrick Stump.

Have you been able to keep in touch with friends during this time? I don’t have any friends, so that hasn’t been an issue. 

What is your favorite Starbucks drink? White chocolate mocha, caramel macchiato, and their fall and winter seasonal drinks. 

Do you prefer Starbucks or a local coffee shop? Just give me coffeeee.

What was your favorite TV show when you were a kid? do you still ever watch it? I had a lot of favorites. Some I still watch like Boy Meets World, Full House, Family Matters, Disney Channel shows like That’s So Raven, Lizzie McGuire, The Proud Family, Hannah Montana, etc (thanks to Disney+) and old Nick shows like Rugrats, Doug, and Hey Arnold. I recently found out Hulu has Step by Step, so I’ll be watching that again at some point.

Have you been watching a lot of movies during quarantine? >> No more than I would be usually, since my daily life didn’t change as dramatically as most people’s did. But yeah. <<< Yeah, I’ve gotten into a few new shows and binge watched a few old ones during this time, but again I wouldn’t contribute that to quarantine cause I would have been home majority of the time still anyway.

What is your favorite Disney movie? Alice in Wonderland, Winnie the Pooh, and Toy Story are among the top

Do you have Disney plus? Yep. That’s how I watch those old Disney shows I mentioned before.

Are you a fan of Hamilton? I’ve never seen it.

Are you planning to watch Hamilton on Disney plus? I have thought about checking it out, so we’ll see.

Have you seen Hamilton live? (Broadway or elsewhere) Like I said, I’ve never seen it.

What is your favorite musical? Sweeney Todd.

Have you watched any musicals online recently? No. Or ever.

What was the last live performance you went to before quarantine? I saw Phantom of the Opera 3 years ago.

What was the best concert you've ever been to? All the concerts I went to were awesome. Man, it’s been over 10 years now since my last concert I really miss ‘em.

Do you volunteer anywhere? No. I’ve volunteered at a few places in the past, though.

What is your favorite movie on Netflix? >> ??? There are... so many movies on Netflix. <<<

Did you relocate due to Covid-19? No.

What is one positive thing about the past few months for you? Uhhh.

Do you prefer streaming music or buying it? I stream it.

Do you use Spotify? Yep.

What was the last book you read? I recently started The Girl and the Deadly End by AJ Rivers. It’s the final book in a 7 book series. 

Have you been baking during quarantine? Nope.

What is your favorite thing to bake? It’s been a few years since I’ve done any baking. I used to love it during the holidays.

Do you enjoy doing crafts? I think they can be fun, but they’re not something I do very often at all. I lack the artistic ability, creativity, inspiration, motivation, and energy. 

Have you ever done crafts for money? No. 

Do you shop on Etsy? Yes. I love Etsy.

Have you ever sold anything on Etsy? Nope.

What song are you listening to right now?  I’m not listening to music, I’m listening to an ASMR video.

What genre of music is your favorite? I like a variety of music.

Can you speak any foreign languages? Not fluently, but I know some Spanish.

What is/was your favorite class in school? I always enjoyed English and then later on in college I enjoyed most of my psych classes as well. 

Who was your favorite teacher most recently? I’ve been done with school for 5 years now.

What is the lock screen and home screen on your phone? The lock screen is a photo of the ocean with a Bible verse on it and my home screen is a rose gold background.

Do you play Animal Crossing? Yeppp. 

Do you have any pets? What kind? What is/are your pet(s) name(s)? I have a 3 year old German Shepherd/Lab mix named Princess Leia. <3

what is a song lyric you love? >> Right, I’m definitely not going to think of that off the top of my head right now. <<< Haha, right. Not to mention, I have a ton of favorite lyrics.

Have you done anything recently to support Black Lives Matter? I’ve signed petitions.

Are there any songs you feel transport you to a world that doesn't exist? Jason Mraz songs were kinda like that. Haha. It seemed like he lived in some whimsical fantasyland.

What songs do that for you? “but my breath fogged up glass, and so I drew a new face and I laughed” lol okay Jason Mraz. Haha that’s the only thing coming to mind right now. It’s almost 7AM okay I can’t think.

What is your favorite ethnicity/cuisine of food? Italian.

What are some popular things that you don't like/aren't interested in? Hmm. What’s even popular right now? I’m out of the loop.

When was the last time you got a haircut? Back in February.

What was the last movie (or musical) you watched? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off the other day.

What was the last movie you saw in the theatre? The Invisible Man.

How soon are you planning on going back to work? (If you've been off) I don’t have a job, remember?

What is an item you own that means a lot to you? I’ll always cherish my giraffe stuffed animals and knickknacks.

Do you have a favorite t-shirt? All of my graphic tees.

What other proshot musicals would you love to see streaming online? You sure love musicals. I like a few musicals, sure, but I’m not super into them like you seem to be. There aren’t any right now that I want to see that I can think of. Well, apart from maybe checking out Hamilton. What is something you're looking forward to? Summer being over.

How do you plan on celebrating Covid-19 being over, whenever that is? >> The problem with this idea is that... it’s not that simple? From what I understand, it’s not like one day we’re all gonna say “that’s it! we’ve officially eradicated this virus from the earth and we will never have to worry about it again!” I’m guessing it’s going to be a slow process of reopening with a lot of false starts and rollbacks (as new waves crest and protective measures have to be re-implemented). Even that first day that I go out to a restaurant is probably going to feel really weird and even a little “wrong”. I’m not sure how much celebrating is really going to be happening. <<< All of this. Like I said earlier, it’s not ever going completely go away or be over. We’ll hopefully get it under control at some point and find an effective vaccine and medications and not have the fear of it constantly looming over us, but we got a long way to go.  And when that does happen, I’ll still be cautious. It’s sure going to feel weird when I do feel comfortable to go out again, though. It felt so weird just going outside for a bit recently one night cause it was the first time I had been out of the house at all since my doctor appointment back in May. That was really weird and scary for me. Prior to that I hadn’t gone anywhere since early March. Sooo yeah. I clearly won’t be rushing out anywhere anytime soon.

RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, August 19, 2020

Welcome to my latest summary of recent ecommerce news, resources & studies including search, analytics, content marketing, social media & Etsy! This covers articles, podcasts, videos and infographics I came across since the late July report, although some may be older than that.

Please note I am taking the next week off, starting tomorrow (Aug. 19), so I might be a little slow in replying to any comments. 

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES 

USPS has become the focus of investigations due to reported mail slowdowns. Some small businesses who rely on USPS to deliver are suffering. “The longer the policy has been in effect, the worse the backlog gets.” As of today (August 18), the postmaster says they will rollback the changes until after the election in November. This is a rapidly-moving story in part due to the push for voting by mail, and should concern anyone who ships to US customers using regular mail (as opposed to couriers). Meanwhile, they plan to temporarily raise commercial rates during the holiday shopping season, but retail rates will not change. 

Ecommerce sales are still up year over year. "Before Covid-19 hit the US in March, e-commerce made up roughly 12% of retail sales in the country. That figure grew as states issued shelter-in-place orders that shut stores and kept shoppers at home, creating tailwinds for a company like Amazon. But even as states have begun to reopen, e-commerce has remained elevated, according to Bank of America data."..."The Economist used Google search traffic for hints of how lifestyles are changing and found users are still searching terms related to cooking, crafts, and exercise above pre-pandemic rates. There has been a noticeable spike in interest around such products as gardening supplies, baking flour, and Crocs." The UK is still seeing a good increase despite the ease in reduction in lockdown restrictions. The growth is slowing a bit in the US, though. 

Half of US small businesses fail in the first year (and other stats on small business). 

It’s been second quarter report season, covering company performance from April to June 2020.  Here are results for major companies involved in ecommerce in some way (comparisons are year-over-year):

Amazon US: sales up 40%

eBay: sales up 26%

Etsy: sales up $146% [click the link to read my summary]

Facebook: revenue up 11%

Google: revenue down 2%

PayPal: revenue up 22%

Pinterest: revenue up 4%; active users up 39%

Shopify: revenue up 97%

Walmart [2nd quarter ran May to July]: ecommerce sales up 97%, same-store sales up 9.3%

ETSY NEWS 

Admin are now posting a monthly update thread, in case you fear you have missed anything. This is how they chose to announce that non-seller accounts can no longer post in the forum. Since those account owners can still read the forum, that doesn’t mean you can call out your customers now. 

Sadly, there wasn’t much media coverage of Etsy’s nearly-annual billing screw up, but this one did get some attention. 

Etsy continues to get good media coverage for masks, including masks for your dolls. They also apparently got a decent slice of Google ranking for various pandemic-related searches in May [scroll down to the “Protection and Prevention” section]. 

However, Etsy is getting some bad press (along with Amazon), for allowing QAnon merchandise, because “the FBI has warned of the movement's potential to incite domestic terrorism.” Etsy replied to a request for comment saying that “that product listings associated with certain movements are allowed as long as they don't violate the company's seller or prohibited items policies, which ban items that promote hate or that could incite violence. The company said it is continually reviewing items on the site and could remove items in the future if they're found to violate Etsy's policies.”

More search trends on Etsy, this time kids’ items. I love how they think tie-dye was a ‘90s thing and not a ‘60-70s thing LOL. “a 318% increase in searches for kids tie-dye items...71% increase in searches for dinosaur wall art or decor*, and a 37% increase in searches for school of fish items….we’ve seen kid-friendly crafts spike in popularity, with searches for DIY kits for kids up 336%.”

Also, the holiday trends guide is out. “With the holidays approaching, and most shopping happening online, more shoppers will be looking for your help to make the season feel special.” The report is lengthy, covering Halloween to New Year’s, and most listing categories, while pointing out the possible pandemic changes to the usual trends. There is also an accompanying podcast with transcript. 

Speaking of the holiday season, here are Etsy’s tips for shops. Note that it is a bit late, as businesses need to have their holiday items posted no later than July if they want to be eligible for most fall media coverage. Almost every point refers to an Etsy tool or feature, some of them costing you money, so use this as a very broad guideline & be careful to read between the lines. 

They are still rolling out Etsy Payments to more countries: Morocco & Israel are the most recent. Note that Etsy Payments is not yet compulsory in these new countries. 

Etsy Ads once again has graphs. Do you find them useful? (I haven’t run ads at all this year, so I can’t check.)

Sendle is the latest shipping company to have a label integration with Etsy shops. 

Etsy asked US sellers to lobby their reps for more support for small business and other initiatives in the pandemic aid package.

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES 

Google has stated that content on tabs is indexed and contributes to ranking as if it were on the page instead, but yet another test demonstrates that tabs may limit you. 

Due to the pandemic, Google has delayed finalizing mobile-first indexing until March 2021. (They originally announced it would be finished this September.) That means you have more time to update your website’s mobile version, ideally with responsive design. 

Site speed does matter to SEO, and Google is now asking some searchers how fast certain sites loaded for them. 

User comments on your products, blog posts and website can help you improve your SEO. The article suggests ways of getting that feedback, and ways to use it. [I’ve even had buyers give me new keywords to describe my items, in their messages and reviews.]

Getting links back to your site is important to SEO, but don’t annoy people while doing it. [sort of humour & sort of a rant, but does give some useful background on why backlinks matter.] Internal links also matter. 

There are some special tricks for food/recipe SEO, including structured data and even a WordPress plugin. 

Another WordPress plugin: submit any new or updated pages to Bing to be automatically re/indexed.

Do your keyword research before setting up your website’s sections and sub-sections, as they should serve the buyer experience, not your perception of it. Same with choosing which pages link to each other. 

SEOs are still trying to work out what happened with recent Google algorithm changes. Search Engine Journal claims that the May update was at least in part about demoting sites that had out-of-date or inaccurate information, so they suggest getting rid of the bad content on your site, or at least updating it. “Content pruning” has some advocates, but I wouldn’t worry about investing tons of time in this unless you have tons of time to spend. Just get rid of the blog posts that were wildly wrong, and the out-of-date filler. If you have a lot of sold out products, redirect those to relevant active pages. 

Meanwhile, a “glitch” on August 10 led people to think there was a massive Google algorithm update happening, but it all got fixed in less than a day. 

If you are behind on Google search news, here is a 7 minute video [with time stamped subtopics & resources links listed below], direct from Google. 

(CONTENT) MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA (includes blogging & emails) 

It’s tough to get started in social media if you don’t know the terminology, so here’s a list of the basic definitions you can consult if you get lost when reading.  

Don’t know how to blog? There are formulas you can use; here are eight options, nicely laid out, with downloadable templates. Don’t forget to figure out what your audience wants to read. And make sure you avoid these common blogging mistakes. 

If you have an email list but do not know how to take advantage of all the bells & whistles the companies (MailChimp, Constant Contact etc.) offer you, here are 4 ways to segment your lists. You can then send different offers or newsletters to different segments. 

You can optimize your social posts for people with visual impairments; excellent tips here. 

By the time you read this, the TikTok mess will likely have changed again, but here is an article on Trump’s order to prohibit US companies from doing business with TikTok owner ByteDance if the platform is not sold by September 15. 

Instagram has released its TikTok challenger, Reels, in more countries. 

Instagram is now offering a fundraising option, although it is a slow launch with some beta testing in the US, UK & Ireland to start. 

Here are step-by-step instructions on setting up your “Shop on Instagram.”

Pinterest says that searches around self-care & wellness have spiked during the pandemic lockdowns. “Pinterest has recently seen the highest searches ever around mental wellness ideas including meditation (+44%), gratitude (+60%) and positivity (+42%) that jumped from February to May….Pinterest says that searches for ‘starting a new business’ are up 35% on average, as are searches for ‘future life goals’ (2x), ‘life bucket list’ (+65%), ‘family goals future’ (+30%) and ‘future house goals’ (+78%).” There were also some searches clearly about spending more time at home: “Productive morning routine (up 6x), Exercise routine at home (up 12x), Self care night routine (up 7x)”

LinkedIn has a new algorithm; here’s how to make it work for you. [Many of these tips also apply to social media in general.]

Spotify is now doing “video podcasts”. Apparently a lot of their podcasters already did a video version of the Spotify podcasts, but had to publish it elsewhere up until now. 

Twitter now admits it is considering offering subscriptions to shore up its revenue numbers. “Shares of Twitter rose 4% in early trading Thursday following the earnings results....Twitter's growth plans are under close scrutiny as many advertisers pull back due to the pandemic. On Thursday, Twitter reported second-quarter ad revenues of $562 million, a 23% decrease compared to the same quarter a year ago. The company has also been hit by advertisers participating in an ad boycott of social media, linked to the nationwide racial justice protests.” Also, the recent hack is not helping them. 

That said, it is still possible to market using Twitter, and here are some of the basics. 

YouTube is no longer sending email updates when a channel you follow posts new content. 

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS) 

Ad spend has increased again as lockdowns end, in some cases beating last year by a decent margin. 

The Buy on Google program is ending its commission fees. Participants will also be able to integrate their PayPal and/or Shopify payment options. As often is the case, they are starting with the US first, but plan on rolling it out to more countries in the future. There are more details here, and a review here (with some of the drawbacks). 

Google Product Ads are now showing the item’s “material” on the listing card (before you click). If you are doing your own feed for your website, you may have the ability to add the attributes needed for the details to show up.  

If you find Google Ads too expensive, consider buying search ads on Bing. 

eBay is experimenting with showing ads mixed in with unpaid listings; placement would depend on the same algorithm. 

Here’s a new guide to Facebook Ads [videos & text]

STATS, DATA, OTHER TRACKING 

Bing has launched a new version of Webmaster Tools. 

There are ways to reduce the amount of traffic that Google Analytics designates as “direct traffic”; here are 15 of them. 

Currently in closed beta testing, the Google Search Console now has an “Insights” function, just like Google Analytics. I’ve found the GA one useful for telling me things I don’t always look at, so crossing my fingers that they release this to everyone soon. 

 ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS 

Shopify helped many businesses stay open during pandemic lockdowns, giving it the boost to start competing with the likes of Amazon in ecommerce. “Shopify merchants that had previously or entirely relied on brick-and-mortar sales would later report they were able revive nearly 95% of that revenue online.”

eBay started rolling out its Managed Payments system to more sellers worldwide on July 20th. Things seem to be going slowly, with some confusion. 

But eBay is also having a 25th anniversary party for sellers on September 25th; don’t forget to register. 

Walmart is still delaying its new subscription model to challenge Amazon Prime, Walmart+. 

Amazon in the UK has launched a “Face mask store” part of the website. I haven’t seen this on other versions of Amazon. They’ve also increased some fees for some UK sellers, based on the new UK digital tax. And they are launching a site & presence in Sweden. 

The Competition Bureau of Canada has launched an investigation of Amazon’s treatment of third-party sellers. “The bureau is asking any person or business that has conducted sales via Amazon.ca to contact them if they have any insights into the issues it is investigating.“

Amazon Prime Day has been postponed to later dates this year, starting with India on August 6-7. The remaining countries will apparently be announced soon. 

If you use WooCommerce, here are a bunch of free plugins, with brief descriptions. 

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE 

Buyers do not all make purchase decisions the same way; Google uses its massive collection of data and some new studies to provide some examples. “Worldwide, search interest for “best” has far outpaced search interest for “cheap.”

It’s cheaper to keep repeat buyers than it is to find new ones; here are 16 ways to do that. One of my favourites is ““proactively providing information on how to avoid problems or get more out of your product” creates a 32% average lift to repurchase or recommend.”

It seems that researchers can never produce enough marketing guides on Gen Z and millennials. 

MISCELLANEOUS (including humour) 

I see a lot of new sellers, and some older sellers, confused about the idea of a business plan. HubSpot not only explains them, but also provides a downloadable template. 

If you are thinking of changing careers, or just want to add skills to better run your current business, Google has many different courses, some of which they offer for free. 

There are ways you can increase your productivity without (usually) working more hours. “A study published by John Pencavel of Standford University found that how much employees get done takes a sharp drop after 50 hours of work in a week, and even more drastically after 55 hours. The study found that employees working 70 hours per week actually produce nothing more in those extra 15 hours...taking a power nap in the middle of the day can help you process new information and even learn new skills.”

Survey #269

“why aren’t you scared of me, why do you care for me, when we all fall asleep, where do we go?”

What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual. What are you obsessed with right now? lol y'all know my staple stuff I'm always obsessed with, so two recent ones are Skillet (I've been binging soooo hard) and drawing again! What piercings do you want? A lot, jfc. More than any, I want collarbone dermals once I lose enough weight to where they're prominent. I've been on a goddamn weight loss plateau for two years. What’s your favorite show to binge? None. I generally don't enjoy binging too much. Do you watch porn? No, not interested. Do you have a secret sideblog? lol this survey blog. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? No. I very briefly considered getting one pierced, but I won't. Are you angry with anyone right now? Not like... actively. But passively it's there. What tattoos do you want? I refuse to die until I'm P A I N T E D  F O R  T H E  G O D S. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Absolutely paperback books. It feels more "real," something to dive into, and it's easier to see and understand how far you're in. We talked about this in Writing once, was an interesting convo. Plus the smell of books, aaaaaahhhhh. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yes How many followers do you have? On here? *checks* 265. Do you read erotica? No, I'd feel SUPER uncomfortable. That's why 50 Shades has never appealed to me. Have you ever gotten into an accident with you parents’ car? No. Ever thought of just picking up and moving far away? Oh yes. What’s the wallpaper on your computer? My lock screen is the Halo of the Sun from SH, and my actual desktop wallpaper is my favorite closeup of my late pup Teddy. What is the last thing/person you took a picture of? Probably a stupid Facebook meme to show Sara or something lmao. Name a band/artist you like that isn’t that popular. Otep. Can you lift your significant other (your best friend if you’re single)? I'm sure I could. What is the first vehicle you recall your parents/guardians owning? Mom had a blue/greenish van for most of my childhood, while Dad had this old tan thing that he nicknamed "Frida the Cheetah" lmao. He had that damn car forever. Have you ever seen counterfeit money? Not knowingly. Have you ever lost a pet you were attached to? Well of course. I grew up with tons of pets. What was the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? Probably texting back "fuck you" to Mom when she was being really shitty when I was having a breakdown. Pick one: laundry, dishes, or vacuuming? I'd pick vacuuming over the others any day. Have you ever moved and had to change schools growing up? No. You are forced to move out-of-state. Where do you go? I literally want to move to Canada. The highway and back roads take you to the same place; choose your route. Back roads, probably. You’re going to be a mom/dad; what do you think/do? Have a fucking panic attack. Are you more likely to give up or persist when you’re having trouble? It really depends on the seriousness of the situation, but in most cases I've actually faced, give up. Do you resemble one parent more than the other? I don't think so. Your best friend needs a kidney to survive; do you give them one of yours? If we're compatible, yes. Name a big life event that has taken place for you within the last 2 years. Nothing because my life is incredibly monotonous and stagnant. Name one difficult lesson you’ve learned. Life isn't fair, and life doesn't care. Name one thing you look forward to as you get older. Hey, let's hope I can be a functioning adult before I'm 70. Do you use your hands when you talk to emphasize what you are saying? Yes. Will you usually admit it when you’ve made a mistake? Yeah. Does stress ever affect you physically? If yes, how? Oh, yes. My stomach will absolutely hurt and I sweat more than normal (I say "normal" because I have hyperhidrosis). Did you have a money box as a kid? What shape was it if you did? I don't remember... I know we didn't regularly get an allowance or anything like that, but maybe I'm sure I stored money I was given somewhere? Has kids TV ever frightened you? As a kid, I both watched and feared Courage the Cowardly Dog, lol. Do you have any potted plants in your house? No. If you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born and why? Early '80s! What a time for music, metal fashion, and fun. If you ran a store, what would you sell/have? IF I was more knowledgeable on more species, probably reptiles and more proper care materials and give advice that's not shit. Places like PetSmart and Petco just... disgust me. What part in a movie would you love to play? If I was confident in acting, probably the maniac lmao. I've experienced enough Crazy for that. What's the oldest article of clothing you own? I don't really know, but I do know Mom has a lot of my and my siblings' shirts as we've grown up to knit together a blanket one day. Fuckin cute as hell. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What instrument do you wish you could be more than great at? Guitar, with that electric twist anyway. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba roars atop Pride Rock in the storm and all the lionesses join in FUCK I get goosebumps out the WAZOO. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Twizzlers, disgoosting. If you could only debate two topics the rest of your life, what would they be? LGBTQ+ rights is #1, then... hm... probably the pro-choice argument. Or just women rights in general. Out of your friends, who would you say you are most jealous of, artistically? Oh man, my friend Mini. She drew pretty well when we were young, but her skill like... increased exponentially with time. She doesn't draw in a *style* I'm envious of, but that growth tho. Most jealous of….intellectually? Girt. What is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed? My brain lmao. A famous person you have met? Nobody. Who were the last five people to text you? Dad, Sara, Ashley, Mom, and my grandma. What is your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. Think of the last two people you kissed. Who was more fun? I've explained the "idk if *I* ever actually kissed Girt" before, but just for the sake of the question, I'll just count him. I tbh hated it only ever because why were your lips always wet, sir???? The latest person was Sara, and she kissed fine. If your house was burning down and you only had sixty seconds to grab one or two things, what would you grab and why? Roman and Venus because they're family and I adore them. Out of all the concerts you have been to, which band/singer was the best performer? Alice was great! When was the last time you went miniature golfing? For Jason's and my second or third anniversary, so a long time ago. What’s a song you like from a genre you hate? I always answer this question with a country answer, so let's go rap. Hm. OH, probably a Post Malone song. I actually don't mind him. If you had twin girls what would you name them? Alessandra indisputably, and then the other... maybe like, Josephine. Especially as twins, I'd want two gorgeous, less-heard names. What kind of condoms do you use? I don't use any because I'm not sexually active. Do you say years young or years old [ex: 16 years young or 16 years old]? Man, I miss the days I could confidently say "years young," lmao. Do you have any personality disorders? Avoidant, yes. I'm pretty convinced I have dependent PD, too. Do you shave your arms? Armpits, yes, but not my entire arms. What do you dip your fries in? Ketchup or honey mustard. Has one of your good friends ever moved away? Damn, yeah. I particularly remember this girl from elementary school in I think the 5th grade that I was very close with, yet I don't remember her name now. What color car are you when you play The Game of Life? Dude idr the colors at all. Which hair color do you find the ugliest? I've seen it be pulled off, but generally, yellow. Would you date a guy that wears more make-up than you do? Hell yeah man you fuckin strut that shit. Did you ever play M.A.S.H. when you were little? Ah, I remember that! Sure did. If you were getting married, who would be your maid of honor? My mom. If you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? No, but I would of course. Do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? Not any more than the average person. Do you chew gum on a regular basis? No. List all of your features that you have ever got compliments on: Do you mean just physical? If that's the case, hair, eyes, smile, uh... I feel like that's it. WAIT I can't remember who but someone once called my nose cute. Have you ever been in a hot air balloon, and if not, would you ever want to go in one? No; yes. What type of computer do you have? It's an Acer Nitro 5. Is anyone else in the room with you right now? My snake. Do you whiten your teeth with crest white strips? Not Crest, but a different brand, yes. I hate my teeth. Do you listen to local bands? Not really. I will sometimes listen to an old friend's band, at least bits of what they post on Facebook. Nova Mortis, check 'em out if you like pretty heavy metal. Do you have a pool in your back yard? No, but damn do I wish. Do your parents fight? Do they even talk at all? That's why they're divorced. They, especially Mom, avoid doing so whenever they can. Do you drink alcohol on New Year’s Eve? Usually. Do you wear rings? Just one, a friendship ring w/ Sara. Are there any restaurants in walking distance to your house? It'd be quite a long walk, at least by my standards. What was the last picture you uploaded to your Facebook? A picture of Mom and me. Have you ever listened to the same song on repeat for hours on end? YES. When I find a song I really like, I become VERY obsessive. Like I will play it and play it and play it for days. I in general have an extremely obsessive personality. Do you like staying in hotels? I don't have much of an opinion. It's a nice change of space, though. Are musicals interesting or boring? They're cheesy to me. What is your favorite scent of incense? (If you burn it) Okay, HEAR ME OUT. There is legit a kind called "monkey farts" that smells SO FUCKIN GOOD. Jason used to burn incense in his room all the time and that was my favorite one, so I use it now. Where do you normally hang out on the weekends? At home. I'm always at home, regardless of the day. Can you tune a guitar by ear or do you need a tuner? I never could. Do you like love songs? Generally, yes. They're sweet. Would you rather drink 7Up or Sprite? Fun fact: Sprite used to be my FAVORITE soda as a kid. I even had a fuckin Sprite shirt. Now, I hate it. I haven't tasted 7UP in forever. What is your favorite song as of right now? I'm seriously digging Halocene lately, esp their cover of "bury a friend." Have you ever sex texted? This is gonna sound so stupid, but I'm actually not *totally* sure what that is? Just like, dirty talking or like, virtually RPing sex? The former I did when I was fuckin 12 like a goddamn idiot, but not the latter. When's the last time you went out of state? A year and a half (I think?) ago to visit Sara. What was your favorite TV show last year? I didn't *really* have one, at least not actively. Like I didn't devoutly watch anything. Would you know who to talk to if you wanted weed? HAHA I sureeeee do. I wouldn't want any, though. What is your favorite Beatles song? "Hey, Jude." If you could kiss anyone right now, who would it be? I don't want to think about this. What is your favorite energy drink? I don't like energy drinks. Way too intense. Have you ever been to Hooters before? No. When's the last time you tripped? (Literally or, you know) HA, funny I take this survey today because my left foot is either broken or I seriously tore a ligament in it because I fell yesterday. I had to go up a dose on my medication that helps my nightmares, but it's notoriously for lowering your blood pressure, and mine is naturally low. I got up to go to the bathroom and grab breakfast and many times nearly passed out from being so dizzy until I finally fell and my foot bent forward. I couldn't even walk by myself yesterday and am still really struggling today. Our family friend brought the boot she wore when she broke her foot over just a while ago, but if this doesn't help, Mom's demanding I go to the ER. Can you touch your toes? I don't know HOW I can, but I can, I guess from when I did yoga daily and I could pretty much go under my feet. What would you say is the best feeling in the world? Being in love and knowing they're in love with you, too. Have you ever “spoken” to any celebrities via Twitter? No. Do you like croissants? YESSSSSSSSSSS. Do you get a lot of traffic outside your house or not? Yes. Mom explained to me why one day because I'd asked, but idr what she said. Do you eat cereal bars? No, I'm a granola bar person. Would you consider yourself healthy? Uh no. Assuming you could speak and understand the language, would you ever study in a foreign, non-English speaking country? Sure, for like a year or so! Doing that in Germany would be amazing. Are you on any prescribed medication? A lot. Do you know any immigrants? I know an illegal one that got deported. I probably know others. Have you ever lived in university or college accommodation before? No. If you haven’t already, are you scared of leaving home? If you have, do you like it? Very scared. I'm just very dependent and ignorant on how to be an adult. If you could only eat one vegetable for a year (not including potatoes) what would it be? Broccoli. Do you have a certain routine in the bath or shower? What is it? Shave, shampoo, facial scrub, this exfoliating brush for your feet, and then body wash. Is there anything that you loved a year ago but just can’t stand now? Hm. I don't really know. What’s the weirdest meat you’ve ever eaten? I took the SMALLEST bite out of it because I couldn't stomach eating it, but after a lot of convincing I tried a microscopic bit out of deer jerky. If you smoke, what brand of cigarettes do you smoke? If you don’t, have you ever tried? Don't smoke and don't want to. Do you like dried fruit at all? what’s your favorite type? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

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Mosquitoes find you particularly delicious. The rainy season where I live is essentially equivalent to mosquito season, so there is definitely a certain period in a year where they are more than usual; and because I like having just my windows open when I sleep (I find the aircon too cold most of the time), the mosquitoes find their way to my room and so there’d be days I’d wake up filled with new bites. I’m lucky enough to have never had dengue. You cheated on Heads Up 7 Up in elementary school. We don’t play that here. We do have a game called 7 Up and it *may* be a variation of that, but 7 Up involves running and chasing haha. You had a favorite Spice Girl. I’m definitely not old enough to have reached Spice Girls’ peak, and out of all of them I only know Victoria Beckham. You remember watching the first episode of SpongeBob when it came out. I was only a year old when Spongebob first came out, so I didn’t watch it by then. I do know what episode you’re talking about, though – Spongebob was pretty much all I ever watched as a kid. You like to draw. I was never any good at drawing, so I hate every bit of it.

You wish you had a car. Sort of? I have my own car bought by my parents, but I am aiming to get my own car when I could afford it. My dream car is the Mini Cooper Clubman. You used to want to be a model. I’m embarrassed by it now, but it was a legitimate dream of mine before, so much so that I let my dad know of my intention (then) of becoming a runway model. Idk, I had a past friend who was into VS models and reblogged them all the time, so her interest rubbed off on me and I wanted to be like them as well. I cringe every time I remember, lmao. You wanted to be on the show All That. I wanted to be on all the Nickelodeon shows that had the same theme as All That. You enjoy public speaking. I’m good at it and can enjoy it on a good day, but sometimes I’ll get anxious. You have witnessed something supernatural. Nope. I’ve had friends tell me their stories and I believe them, but I can’t say the same for myself. You believe in the supernatural. Just ghosts. I don’t believe in folk creatures, like the ones we have in our native culture. You aren't heterosexual. My survey answers in the last six or so years have made this very blatant. You think the whole transgender thing is stupid. That’s twisted and sad and pitiful. You own a dreamcatcher. Two – one mini dreamcatcher and another giant one. I’ve had an attachment to them since seeing New Moon of the Twilight Saga – there’s a part where Jacob gives Bella her own dreamcatcher at a time when she got depressed and was having nightmares every night, and I know there had been many times when I was like Bella, so I wanted one for myself as well. You'd want a boho wedding. So not my style. My wedding’s going to be minimalist and at most, pastel-themed. You think pink is the best color for cars. Not for me, no. Simple is better; I like my cars white. You've been called a free spirit. Nope, and rightfully so. I wouldn’t call myself a free spirit either. I like trying out new things, but I also like having security blankets and safety nets around. You're the same height as your mom. Yeah pretty much. She’s just a tiny bit taller. You grew up watching Nickelodean. I grew up watching Nickelodeon*, but this works too. My cousins and I just flipped among three channels – Nickelodeon, Disney Channel, and Cartoon Network.

You have a sibling who looks like you. Nah we all have our own distinct looks. There are angles and expressions wherein we look more similar, but generally it’s easy to tell us apart. You like to write in a journal. This account is pretty much like my journal, and I love using this blog for my thoughts and ramblings. You're tired. It’s Friday, it’s the end of the week, and I’m so, so, SO tired. And of course I’m celebrating by drinking two cups of coffee and staying up as late as I want, lol. You felt sick today. The last time this happened was late last year. I felt feverish while I was out for dinner with Gab, but the weird thing about it was that I felt better and as if nothing happened literally a half hour later. You're very creative. That is the LAST word I would use to describe myself. You can be disorganized. I’m organized about a lot of things, but I’m also disorganized about a lot of things. I could never maintain my closet no matter how much I put an effort to fold everything neatly and start from square one. You have a fever right now. Nope.

You've enjoyed babysitting. We never explicitly used this term but I was always the go-to elder kid to look out for my baby cousins, especially when we still lived under the same roof as an extended family, and I loved every bit of it. I was okay with being the motherly figure while everyone else played games or with toys. You want to go to New York City to visit. Yeah. I like bustling cities, so I feel like NYC would be right up my alley. I don’t care much for Times Square though and I would probably spend most of my time going to their museums. You love tea. I’m not obsessed with it; I can take it or leave it. And I don’t like the teas that come with a teabag; I drink either the traditional Chinese tea or just sweet, unhealthy iced tea altogether. You don't play an instrument. Yeah and I get sad about this like two times a day lmao. I wish I could play just a tiny bit of piano and/or violin. You used to want Taylor Swift's hair. I never actively wanted to be anything like her.  You enjoyed High School Musical. Of course. I was THERE when it came out, and I stayed for every bit of the first film, High School Musical 2, and High School Musical 3. I was right smack in the middle of the HSM frenzy and it’s one of the more cherishable moments of my childhood haha. Everybody knew the songs, the steps to We’re All In This Together, and had HSM shirts, bags, pencil cases, and notebooks. You watched The Rugrats Movie in the theater. I barely remember that it had a movie, and I don’t think I ever saw it. Definitely not in the cinemas. You've performed on stage in a musical. I’ve performed on stage (as part of a big group) for annual school productions, but I think they were all plays. Hated every second of it. You've had the lead role in a musical. Certainly not. You've had cramps so bad you threw up. No, but close. A few weeks ago I had a headache SO bad I actually had to run to the toilet only to dry heave. It’s never happened to me before so I got scared and I just slept it off to see what happened the next day. You've never had Nutella. 2010 Tumblr pressured everybody to get Nutella because it was all the rage at the time and all the cool kids were having it, so I also did at some point. You have a favorite blanket. The one Gabie gave me two Christmases ago is my favorite. You own family heirlooms. I’m sure we have some but they haven’t been passed on to me yet.

You have carved and painted pumpkins before. No, pumpkins aren’t really a thing here. As far as I know, coloring/painting on Easter eggs is a more common activity. You have colored Easter eggs. Yes, I used to do this with my (second) cousins when they were younger.

You've walked through a haunted house. I always say I’m into horror stuff, but tbh I think horror movies are the furthest I can go HAHAHA. I’ve never been in a haunted house whether day or night, and I think the only time you’d get me to do it is if I got paid for it. You've dressed up on Halloween. Plenty times. I was Dora the Explorer last year :D :D You've tried to kill yourself. You've had a false rumor spread about you. In Grade 6 I had a rumor come back to me saying I was bi and was seeing my friend Andi (who, to be fair, I had a crush on at the time but I didn’t realize it yet). I just found it cool at all that I had a rumor about me considering I wasn’t a popular kid and had literally 2 friends, so I didn’t let it bother me haaaaah. You've been kicked out of a store (whether for a good or bad reason.) It was at a McDonald’s lmao.  My friends were playing a card game and were yelling every five seconds; I knew people were going to get pissed so I distanced myself as much as possible even though I was at the same table jkfghdgh. Eventually an old man had had enough and asked us to leave, which I was GLAD to do. You have a favorite stove burner that you always use. I don’t have a favorite...the one I use often just happens to be my regular one. You enjoy eating at fast food restaurants. I find them dirty and nasty so I only eat there if I absolutely have to, but I do like getting takeout and enjoy fast food in general. You like arrows and feathers and peace signs. Ugh cringe, this SCREAMS 2010 Tumblr hahahahaha. I mean I liked all of these at some point, but not now. You want to wear a flower crown for your wedding. Hell no. It was cute for a while, but not anymore. You have signed someone else's yearbook. We don’t do that here. We pay tons of money for our yearbooks that it’s practically destroying them if we ever wrote on them lmao. You were shy in high school. For the first half, I was shy and pretty unpopular. By the latter part of high school I managed to gain friends and end up in the ~popular~ circle, but I was still shy compared to my peers. I didn’t take up a lot of extracurriculars (which is what the popu kids tended to do) but I managed to stay within the circle until the end of it. You're shy when first getting to know someone. Of course, as most would be I would imagine. I can warm up fast, though. You've gotten all A's in a class before. In high school, this was me with English and history. In college, this would be me with my history electives.

You had a favorite class and a favorite teacher in high school. Sure! Our biology teacher in sophomore year was evvvvverybody’s crush. She was so pretty and kind and smart; when we went to a beach for our field trip, I tried getting stung by a jellyfish just so she’d treat the bite on my leg cos she was one out of two faculty members who knew how to treat stings HAHAHAH. I didn’t get the highest marks in her class, but I enjoyed nonetheless. You were a teacher's favorite. BY NO MEANS. Gabie was, though. We were total polar opposites when it came to how we acted in class. You've won a costume contest. I...don’t think I ever did, but my mom did go all out when it came to coming up with our costumes as kids. You have a favorite Disney princess. It used to be Ariel, then I found her annoying. My present favorite is Rapunzel. You get carsick. Only if I excessively do something while in a moving vehicle, like text or read. You've flown first class. Never have. You hate inequality and wish life were more fair. Don’t we all? You've had a bad neighbor. They weren’t bad per se. Just a bit chaotic and the kids (a little older than I was at the time) clearly had behavioral issues. I was so relieved when they moved out. You've done a cannonball. I don’t think so. You have fallen and hit your head. Nope, and that sounds like the literal worst thing. You like sunflowers. Sure! It’s a popular UP symbol – every year, a few weeks before the university-wide graduation, they’d plant huuundreds of sunflowers to line up the entire road leading to my school :) We usually refer to sunflowers as a sign of encouragement to keep on keeping on, so that one day the sunflowers will bloom for us as well. You like the name Skylar. It’s alright. I like it because it’s the name of the badass mom in Breaking Bad, but otherwise it’s nothing too special for me. You've had a friend named Sarah. I have acquaintances with the name Sarah but they’re not my friends. You have an Aunt Robin. Nope. I would end up being the Aunt Robyn in a few years, hahahaha. You have an Uncle Rick. I’ve never heard of an Uncle/Tito Rick, but with how big Filipino families are I wouldn’t be surprised if I turned out to have one. You have a cousin Annabelle. No, but close. I have an Auntie Bel whose whole name is Amabel. You think flying a kite is boring. I never had fun doing it, or whenever we had to do it as a school activity. You were born in the year of the Dragon. Tiger, yo. You like your Chinese zodiac sign better than your American one. I don’t care for either. Your laptop has shut off because it got too hot. It’s never done this before, thank goodness. I try not to overwork it either. You've accidentally caught something on fire. Nope, I don’t think this has happened to me before. You make your bed every day. Aside from my mom requires me to, a neat bed makes the entire room feel much cleaner so I do it anyway. You wear a digital watch. I have a bad record of losing watches, so I never like wearing them. You have a favorite park. We don’t have a lot of parks here to even pick favorites from to begin with, which is a shame. You've hiked a mountain. I want to sooooo bad. It’s just never happened before/yet. You want to hike a mountain again. ^ You've been a slave. What the fuck. You feel like you've had your free will stolen from you. My parents were quite strict before but it never felt this bad. You speak in tongues. If you mean I can speak more than one language, then sure. You enjoy medieval festivals. Never been interested in anything medieval. Your favorite fair ride is the pirate ship. I don’t ride rides. Cotton candy isn't that good. It’s a cute concept but I wouldn’t always pay for it.  Men look good in pink. Men – and anybody – would look good in any color so long as they’re comfortable with it lol. You went to youth group. Hell no. I’m glad my mom never forced me either. You were baptized in a lake. No. Just in a church. You were on Color Guard. I have no idea what this means. You went to your senior prom. We had a junior prom that I went to, and that was it for my school; but I was also asked to go to a senior ball of another school. Your first kiss was just an experiment. No, it was a legit kiss. You dated a guy you didn't like. Almost did, though. You have fallen asleep in class. Never. I never want this to happen, either. You have won an award. A few times. You type fast. Yeah, you get used to it through the years. You have a lot of dreams for your future. I still want to do a lot, yes. You've gone camping in the woods. Never, but it’d be a cool experience. I wouldn’t want to be alone though. You love to sleep under the stars. I don’t get to do this but it sounds like a lovely time. You've gone camping in the fall. I haven’t gone camping at allllllll. You own a pair of slipper socks. That sounds way too hot for where I live lmao.

Get to Know the Blogger

Can be used for RP and non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen! Repost, don’t reblog!

1. FIRST NAME:  My alias is KumaraDosha, and you can call me that, Kumara, Mara, or something else you have learned I go by. :3c

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I have an extra half a vertebra in my lumbar spine, bigger on the left side, that makes my back less stable and more susceptible to pain and injury, and part of the reason I had to change my career from being a surgical technologist was because of that wear and tear.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: ...I really don’t know how to answer this. Attraction is so finicky for me, and “aesthetically pleasing” really just depends on the person. I guess all I can say is the most identifiable “type” of person I’d be attracted to are sort of...waifish women? Maybe Scandinavian features, IDK. Something vaguely similar to Anya Taylor-Joy’s soft looks, any hair color.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: Ice cream/shakes.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: Olives.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: Assigning characters of different fandoms Homestuck godtier classes and aspects.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Usually an old, big shirt and pajama pants.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: Serious relationships only, if not neither.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: I might go back and pick sonography as my major first, instead of trying nursing school, getting psychologically abused and mistreated by nursing teachers, having a breakdown and quitting, getting a surgical technology degree after being treated poorly by teachers/students/staff, quitting surgical tech work after 3 years due to depression/anxiety and physical strain, then coming back to school for a third time with past healthcare-school trauma and trying to get a bachelor’s in sonography. Then again, I learned a whole lot--educationally, about life, about the behaviors and cultures of healthcare workers, and about how people are--in those other schools/professions, so I’m not sure that’s worth giving up? I’d be very much richer right now, though, and not dependent on family or in debt. Plus, surgical technology is actually really cool (and still very much a passion of mine), and I don’t want to give those experiences and memories up. So maybe I’d just nix the nursing school, do surgical tech for a few years, and then go for sonography. Who knows, man; life and its consequences are so unpredictable.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: Probably not. I am very sensitive to rejection if I’ve been honest or vulnerable, so I usually only gush over people I trust and honestly feel that way about.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: I really don’t know if there’s any like that for me?? But I guess The Signal is a movie I like to show people and watch with them, because many haven’t seen it, and I find it fascinating. I also love Tron Legacy a whole lot.

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: I would choose a Samoyed dog, if I were able to have it well-taken-care-of (which I can’t do at this point, which is why I don’t have one).

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS: Oh boy, uh. At the moment? It’s hard for me to give any ultimate lists, because they can all be terribly mishandled or cringe depending on how they’re portrayed, which often somehow turns out to be popular in the fandom, and that spoils it for me a little bit... You know what, screw the rules; I’ma throw out a bunch--six from BNHA that I favor atm and then a diverse cast of some oldies I still like that will be more than five. Not particularly in order of rank...

From BNHA, Monoma Neito x Shinsou Hitoshi; Monoma Neito x Midoriya Izuku; Monoma Neito x Kuroiro Shihai (there may or may not be huge RP bias here); Bakugou Katsuki x Uraraka Ochaco; Bakugou Katsuki x Todoroki Shouto; Shigaraki Tomura x Dabi.

From other fandoms... Kuja x Terra (Dissidia Final Fantasy), Genos x Sonic (One Punch Man), Akabane Karma x Asano Gakushu (Assassination Classroom), Beyond Birthday x L Lawliet (Death Note, but ONLY from an epic-long series of canon-divergent fanfictions that nobody’s going to have heard of), Yami Bakura x Yami Yugi (Yu-Gi-Oh!), Aoba x Noiz (Dramatical Murder), Matsuoka Rin x Nanase Haruka (Free!), Eridan Ampora x Sollux Captor (Homestuck), Caliborn x Dirk Strider (Homestuck), The Batter x Zacharie (OFF), Sniper x Spy (Team Fortress 2). ...The hate/enemies/rivals ships are kind of a theme, aren’t they.

15. PIE OR CAKE: Cake.

16. FAVORITE SCENT: At the moment, I really like the Snowflakes and Cashmere body wash at Bath and Body Works. Also Butterfly Flower. Also give me baking cookies or blueberry muffins.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: They all disappoint me. They’re just human beings, often not very good ones.

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: Heaven, bitch. (Okay, maybe an island resort or a cruise or something.)

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT:  Introvert who can appear extremely extrovert in comfortable company. I guess ambivert fits better.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: Depends. In real life, I’d say not really, but if you can find a way to trigger my imaginative paranoia, then maybe. I can’t play scary video games, because they make me way too tense, but I absolutely love watching other people play them, and I get very scared, especially by jumpscares (but in a fun way, LOL). I also love watching horror movies (though most are embarrassingly un-scary). I do not like jumpscares in movies. Cheap. I also love reading/hearing creepy stories that are presumably true (that’s usually what triggers my imaginative paranoia and puts me in a bad headspace, but whoops, still interesting to me).

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: I’ve only ever had iPhone.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: Yeah. I wish I played more, but I seem to procrastinate a lot on playing games for some reason, and I’m not that good besides. I prefer PC to consoles, and I have tons and tons of games on Steam (many that I haven’t gotten around to trying yet), but I also have a PS4 and Nintendo Switch. Games of note that I have played a decent bit are Zelda Breath of the Wild, Fallout 4, Skyrim, Darkest Dungeon, Smash, Saints Row 3 and 4, many of the Final Fantasy games... And a heck ton more, uh.

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: Pay off debts, share with family/friends, charity, invest in rich people stocks or whatever, and also live a nice-ass life. Honestly not sure if I’d quit working entirely...? I tend to get depressed if my life doesn’t have meaning like that. I have to give something back to the world. Besides, a million dollars literally lasts like under 20 years in normal circumstances...? That’s not something you retire on as a young person, unless you’re investing well...which I would need help figuring out how to do. I hate managing money.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: Off the top of my head, probably Jane Crocker and Aranea from Homestuck.

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: Trigun fandom! I still love that series...!

tagged by: @galaxythixf

tagging: You, but only if you like me, even if from afar. :3c

((I’m really sorry if I’m becoming too annoying with asks and all that!!! U don’t have to respond!!)) Kind of random, but out of curiosity, do you have any A/B/O AU family headcanons?? I honestly would LOVE to know more about all of them!! Thank you sm!!

!!! NOT AT ALL I ACTUALLY GET SUPER HAPPY WITH YOU LIKING THEM SO HUSH YOU’RE NEVER A BOTHER ASK WHATEVER YOU WANT

legit i have a shit ton of notes in my notebook with my horrible hand writing and basically nonsense notes and while writing the edited ver a) like the dingus i am i accidentally clicked a thing and lost all the answers b) the internet dies haaah

SO YEAH THERE’S A SHIT TON UNDER THE CUT

MIDORIYAs

mido worries about his mom getting overwhelmed by paparazzi so as a pro hero he doesn’t really give off his name to the public and the name midoriya kinda just fades over time

i’m guessing heroes give birth in secluded hospitals who won’t give off their info yeah? but mido’s location got leaked somehow and yu got kidnapped by villains which then todo fucks shit up and got her back so since then they’ve been kinda worried about safety and shit

inko stands in as guardian for school related stuff most often since todo and deku are mostly busy

idk why i kinda hc todo’s mom as an ice dancer or something (look at how that boy works with ice that does not come from endeavor) she used to take the kids to the ice rink and teaches them to skate. todo still holds that place as a safe space and goes to the one a few train stations away from campus after he gets his shit together. he took deku there for their date and ends up also taking the girls there too.

rei gets out at some point, as she gets used to being in society again she stays with inko (and all might//SHOT) at deku’s old room when he got a place with todo. she gets along with them and also mitsuki. they have tea together and share embarrassing stories about their kids it’s great

yu and tsumu plays mostly at tsumu’s house which was closer to the school, they hit it off super well and they even talk about each other to their families, todo and deku are super relieved to know their girl has another friend. yu actually met mirio and tamaki already but are not aware they know her parents

so tsumu one day just “hey you wanna come over for dinner we’re having bbq you should bring your family over!” and they do come over cause why not i guess and then the 2 families meet and damn

their balcony is filled with potted plants courtesy of inko. there’s also a small bottle with a single morning glory flower, wrapped in a blue ribbon and a duck cutout stuck into the dirt

no one uses watashi in the house, yu uses boku, chi uses ore, yu calls them oka-sama and otou-sama and generally uses more formal speech while chi uses the more common -san honorific, not sure if this is relevant of anything but yeah. also todo calls deku bunny from when they started courting (2nd year)

they have a thing with nicknames. obviously deku uses -chan, but also

BAKUGOUs

baku and kiri works as partners tho sometimes kiri helps out with the fatgum office, they have an office at home and basically a small gym

meat. so much meat. there’s always meat in the fridge

baku and kyou both eat with so much fucking spice and chilli kiri’s basically kinda used to it to a point. but if they have the girls over (like when deku’s in heat//SHOT) they have to have extra of the low impact portion. one time chi took the spicy portion by accident, apparently she’s immune

they’re an outdoor family basically. whenver they can they go mountain climbing when kyou is old enough. baku’s chili peppers kept getting stolen by animals, he tries every time to blow them up

baku and kiri dated and courted first, but deku and todo mated first cause of a quirk related accident. but then they got engaged and married first because baku is fucking petty.

baku’s parents fucking love kiri he’s a good boy he’s glad baku somehow ended up with someone so great. baku however have to holds himself back to be a good boy™ to kiri’s more traditional family. he managed somehow

when baku’s parents meet kiri’s they’re shocked to find how they find baku as a charming and wonderful young alpha and they’re glad their eijiro found someone who accepted him. SO MITSUKI OUT OF SPITE INVITES THEM A LOT AND BAKU HAS TO ENDURE SO MUCH SHIT

BAD NEWS FOR HIM CAUSE THEY GET ALONG

“MRS KIRISHIMA WOULD YOU LIKE TOO SEE KATSUKI’S BABY PICTURES?” BAKU, INTERNALLY DETONATES

baku ended up basically deaf so he has to learn sign language, kiri the ever supportive bf learns too, as well as their families, and they also thought it to kyou

friday nights are mario kart nights, no holds bar

the rest of the baku squad (and camie) often visits but since they converted the extra room to baku’s office and their couch isn’t all that big they have to sleep at mido’s place, or borrow their extra futon

kiri, when asked if he wants another kid, “holy shit no it was so hard to get my body back into shape ok and also how the heck do you even hold yourself as a hero not to save people IZUKU SOMEHOW DID IT MORE THAN ONCE IM STILL SHOCKED”

when kyou got his quirk he accidentally burned his bed, then screamed to dad and pop hOLY SHIT I GOT MY QUIRK

he was so proud of it at first and shows it off at schooltho when it's found out that he has little control with it, as lava often seeps through his skin and out of his mouth at random times, almost hurting the other kids, the at first popular kyou was feared by his peers, until yu got her quirk late in the year and was able to put out his lava whenever

"you're not scared of me? even before you got your quirk?" "why would i it's not like you did it on purpose" also like she's used to baku. that goes along for years until kyou presented. yu comes over after school with meds and stuff, but kyou, out of his mind and his body out of his control, attacked her, trapping her in a cascade of hot burning lava. she managed to escape with some mild burn and they kinda got awkward for a while. they're cool eventually

however when yu presented the fear of that happening again got way fucking worse

YAOYOROZUs

momo and kyouka wants to be independant yeah, so they got their own apartment (more of a penthouse if anything) with their own money

a note, dams are gender neutral pronouns for moms, sires for dads

itsu calls momo dad, kyouka mom

since he’s mute since birth, in addittion to sign language, as his interest with music grows they make a system for basic stuff he can make with notes and sequenses as answers where he’s unable to use signs

momo however also makes a list of codes for specific teas

he carries around at least a whistle or kazoo, mostly he uses a harmonica

momo’s parents worries at first about enrolling him into a normal school but momo and kyouka themselves are convident their kid can get along with the other kids

they right, even without his connection as their kid

is he a goth? not really, he just really likes the color black

he also like birds, he has a bunch of photos and encyclopedias of birds in his room

kyouka often holds charity concerts, momo and itsu always comes to support her

IIDAs

it surprised everyone when iida, the rule abiding iida, had ochako pregnant before they got married, so with the power of the iida family they got engaged and married so fucking quick

tho really it was an accident, ocha misscounted her birthcontrol pills during her heat and they’re already courting anyway and their familes are already aware of each other and get along well so whatever

HE WAS ALSO LATE FOR HIS BIRTH BECAUSE HE HAD TO FUCKING OBEY THE GODDAMN TRAFFIC LAW

also i need someone to get me like, you see iida and ura, they cute right, pure and soft. but holy shit when ocha’s in heat she takes no shit and is basically a goddamn dominatrix

they, deku and todo shares a hero agency, so basically when tenma was born they made a baby space for him in their shared office with toys and shit and the sidekicks can play with him, they’re putty in his chubby hands. same thing happened with the tododeku kids. the sidekicks are all okay with this

there’s not many support and rescue heroes, so ocha often gets called in as an instructor at ua, she brings tenma for lessons for her students to safe

tenma likes to hang around the future heroes, he likes to play hero

“senpai senpai do you need help!” “ooh ye see i think i accidentally blew my shoe way up that tree can you get it for me?” “YES!!”

he takes martial arts lessons as early as from 3 years old, as a teenager he’s able to fight midair

TOGATAs

so like not sure yet, tamaki’s either an omega or beta so tsumu is either theirs biologically or adopted so

either way if she’s their biological kid, during his heat tamaki used his quirk when doing the dirty so the genes stick and mutates and shit

aNYWAY

tamaki doesn’t really like making appearances on tv and in public, he even rarely sign for merch deals, tsumugi often finds knock off merch of him and she likes to get it as a kind of joke cause the design was actually kinda funny, mainly this actually

she also likes to find show cameos of him, that too was hilarious

she loves hanging out with aunt nejire they often go shopping, she’s the one who bought her the knock off suneater shirt

“lol you wanna know why your dad’s hero name is suneater?” “what?=D” “tha-” tamaki: NEJIRE I SWEAR TO GOD

also like mirio totally acts like the protective big bro to eri when someone likes her

she likes buff/big bodies, mostly to sleep on, she sleeps on mirio and mr fatgum

she has a bunch of miruko merch cause she’s a rabbit and has strong ass legs and she may or may not have a gay awakening cause of that

here is, in fact, said bootleg shirt

she likes the giant gaping mount

SHINSOUs

SHINSOU’S AN UNDERGROUND HERO FIGHT ME

he teaches the hero course and LIKE HIS DAMN DAD IS A LITTLE SHIT TO HIS CLASS

so he’s the one who changed the entrance exam to make it more fair for kids with quirks that are not flashy his, so the robots are then deligated to the recomendation exam kids while the regular ones gets a basically game of hide and seek with his hero buddies and the older students

i actually have this for his hero costume back from goddamn january i dont even know

i, i have nothing for fuyusei they met at the hospital and they hit it off and that’s….. it

i have even lESS SHIT FOR OJITOORU

ALSO LIKE I FUCKING LOVE THE IDEA THAT ALL MIGHT RUNS A VILLAIN REHAB FACILITY OR SOMETHING WITH ALL HIS MONEY, YOU KNOW, FROM BEATING VILLAINS TO SAVING VILLAINS, AND LIKE INKO HELPS WITH TALKING TO THEM IM WEAK

Hi 😉 I was wondering what was your take on Heidi being on tour with the guys and everything that happened since she joined them aka fans reporting she has this cold face when watching the show and the lack of interaction between her +her parents and the twins’ mother? I really loved your piece on the summercamp last year I thought you nailed it, thank you in advance and have a nice day/evening/afternoon 😊

Hey there!Oh man anon, where to begin? You’re in for a treat, because I think I’llunleash much more than what you’ve bargained for, for the simple fact that Ihaven’t really ranted out everything that I wanted on other social mediaplatforms lol. I guess I should start off by saying that my opinion on thismatter is still unaltered. If anything, the points I have made within my SummerCamp essay seem to only get more and more probable with each passing day.Whatever little hope I might have been harboring that maybe (by some miracle)I’m wrong – that she is actually nota rotten individual – just keeps disappearing with every horrendous attitudeshe decides to present next. And boy oh boy is she set out to be horrendous.Big yikes.Let’s get one thing out of the way first, (because some people still can’t grasp this concept, and Iwant to clarify it before I dwell any further): the reason why I’m bothered byKlum is not because of any pettyjealousy people claim I must be feeling towards her. I feel like it’s sounbelievably superficial and sexist to claim that – what is saidbetween the lines – I “must dislike this specific vagina, simply because I wantits rightful penis”. Literally what the fuck? I quite honestly wouldn’t touchTom with a ten foot pole (no offense to him, but I really would not). Evenentering their personal bubble for pictures makes me feel uncomfortable,because I don’t want to be perceived as one of those predators who give thewhole fandom a bad name after they dry hump them as soon as they’re in their radius,so there’s that. What I feel towards this band is just so pure, and so muchabove any petty groupie fantasy others try to project onto me, that theargument of “me being jealous” makes literal bile rise up my throat. It’s revoltingto me. Not only me, but to many other people as well – people who also don’tfit the mold of what those “higher-moral-ground-wannabees” claim they are.The reason why a shit ton of people dislike Klum is very simple: we all see thesame red flags rising when we observe her attitude. It most definitely hasnothing to do with anyone’s attraction towards Tom himself. I just cannotcomprehend this stupid narrative. Most of the fandom doesn’t consist of twelveyear old girls anymore, so give me a break (albeit I personally never thirsted after any of them at all, ever, so whatever).Some people who see that Heidi’s problematic are gay, by the way. Some peoplewho see it are happily married. Some even have children for crying out loud.Are they all jealous too, according to that narrow point of view?Noticing someone’s reappearing toxicity – especially when it is masses of very different people all noticingthe very same destructive behavioralpatterns – is simply concerning. Yeah, I know the popular counter argument is “why should you care then, youhave no ties to him?” Well of course that’s true. No, I’m not the band’simmediate family. I’m not their friend and neither do I work for them. But themen of this band have had a huge impact on my life, and their art has helped methrough so much shit over the years of my adolescence and beyond. If notanything else, it feels fair to thenat least be honest about when I think they might be getting into some deep shitthemselves. An act of reciprocated gratefulness and respect, if you will. Thekind of “you helped me, and now, even though I can’t exactly help you per sebecause we are strangers, the least I can do is to be sincere in my thoughts ofgenuine concern”. I mean, look, I said it once, and I’ll say it again: at the end of the day, marryingsomeone like Heidi is Tom’s choice to make – or well, in my opinion and forlack of a better wording, his own mistakein the making. I’m pretty much the last person in the world who can changethat, and don’t worry, I’m aware of that. And sure, at the end of the day, it’snot me who’ll have to live with her. It’s not me who’s gonna suffer the immediate consequences of it.But although it’s not going to be me ending up being potentially hurt, Tom’sproblems will, by default, extend to damage anyone who ever cared for him aswell. And we, as a whole (well, most of us), do care for this fucking band. Goddamn we do. Just like we cared whenBill had to get his surgery; just like we cared whenever any of them had a caraccident; just like we cared when Gustav got into that bar fight all those yearsago; just like we cared when we saw them being stalked and burning out in frontof our very eyes – just in the same way, we care now, because we see someonewho appears to be absolutely venomous protrude not only their personal lives, but the band as a concept as well.The very same band that was always a sort of escapism resort that EVERYONE (theband AND the fans) could always come to when everything “in the real world” wasgoing astray – now being quite literally invaded by outside forces withoutfacing any proper resistance.Honestly, at this point, I should probably stop being so surprised by whateverHeidi Klum does next. But I’m apparently too naïve, or maybe just simply toogood natured to actually expect half of the disgusting things she does. I couldhonestly keep my mouth way more shut if it was just a “behind the scenes Tomthing”. As said – it’s his mistake to make, and even though I’d still roll myeyes way into the back of my head at the lack of brain functioning he’sexemplifying on a daily basis, I’d still be able to not be this vocal about it if it were just a “Tom thing”. The problem isthough – this isn’t just a Tom thing any longer (if it ever was at all). Thefact that I’m furious and ranting about it left and right openly is because Tokio Hotel lets Tom’s girlfriend involveherself into the band’s affairs. That’s the reason I even wrote the entireSummer Camp Essay, and I see now that it was a sort of foreshadowing of graverthings to come.Can you believe it, I’m finally getting to your point lol. Now let us address thesestupidities one by one.Tokio Hotel may have started as a hobby, something that all four of them lovedto do above everything else and “just happened to turn into their job”. But atthe end of the day, a dream job is still a job. I’m pretty damn sure it isfrowned upon in any other setting or situation to just drag your “significantother” to your workplace, and let them effectivelyinterfere with your job policies. Seeing how the nature of their job is, I’mhonestly fine when it comes to family/girlfriends/friends or such visitingtheir concerts. If I would be in their shoes, I most definitely would have donethe same. Pretty sure most anyone would – who doesn’t want to share their art not only with strangers, but withpeople who are closest to them in life as well! I know I would! What I would never, though, is stoop as low as tobreak my professionalism and have my family/girlfriends/friends or such 1. SIGN MY DAMN POSTERS.Not only did she do that, she also clearly provocatively and without anyreasoning whatsoever signed the poster with hissurname and not even her own, even though she clearly keeps on signing hernormal everyday autographs with her “established” name. Anyone who has thebrain capacity to count to ten can understand that such is done for thepurposes of drama, and portrays nothing less but a toxic possessiveness of ateenage girl who needs to “mark her territory”. And such is coming from a supposedlyestablished 46 year old woman. The behavior exhibited just leaves mespeechless. And I am all the more concerned when I see people defending such occurrenceswith the adjectives of “cute,” stating furthermore that it’s “not a big deal”.How about you tell that this “isn’t a big deal” to a potential someone who wasonly on a VIP once, when this is the sort of memory they’d be left with at theend of the day?Of course some of us – a lot of us – come to the gigs more than once, andactually have a shit ton of VIP packages. But not everyone is that lucky, andnot everyone is willing or able to spend that much money on the band. It isdistressing for me to think that someone might have gotten this one opportunityto meet them, but then at the end of the day took home a poster that was signedby, quite honestly, a random person who has nothingto do with the band or their own personalexperience with the four men. It is beyond my understanding how the members canclaim to be oh-so-professional, but then let something like this slidecompletely.Half of me honesty hopes that she’s done it in secret. At least in that versionof the events, the band would have a “redeeming way out”, seeing how it wouldhave been done behind their backs. Somehow though, I kind of doubt that is thecase. And that’s what honestly gets me pressed the most. The sheer thought thatthey’d be willing to – in any way, shape or form – give a complete outsider any sort of autonomy when it comes to“band things”. And it would be even worse if they’d find such to be “funny” atthe end of the day, if we ever addressed the matter with them.See, realizing that Heidi Klum is toxic is one thing, because (newsflash) Idon’t care about Heidi Klum. It is,though, entirely something else when the guys let her maneuver her way insidethe band. Even if manipulated into it, they still most likely seem to give herthe freedom of doing almost whatever the fuck she wants, and to think of them – the people I actually do care about – to be this misguided, and this unprotective when it comes to all matters Tokio Hotel… see that’s what actually gets me going.At this point, it really feels as though Klum’s just testing her limits to seehow far she can go before someone within the band circle starts to question hermotives, and tell her that she maybe shouldn’t get too involved with their business(not that it matters, because people like her have a prepared victim card theycan play at any time, so she’d get out of it as soon as she notices she’sreached said limit by claiming to be but a poor soul who meant no harm).Apparently, she can push fairly far though, seeing how2. HER KIDS WERE BROUGHT ON STAGE.This one seemed to have stirred up even some heated Pro!Heidi people out there,and albeit I’m sad it took this long for people to realize there’s muchfishiness attached to the smell she emits, it was still good to see it was awake-up call at least for some. Now whoever’s defending this is, in my book, honestly just gross. It would be one thing ifthe kids would express the wish to go on stage themselves, but judging by theirreactions – so from just standing there awkwardly not knowing what to do, tostraight up hiding from the crowd – didthey really? But you know what, scratch that, for the sake of theargument, let’s pretend no adult person is as disturbed as to suggest such athing themselves (cough)… Even if this wasa longing of the kids’ own free will… who in their right fucking mind wouldever allow that? Who thought itwould be a brilliant idea to throw on stage some (give or take) ten year olds,only to be screamed at by a mass of people in a language they do not understand, being surrounded bypeople they do not know. Not tomention no-one could have predicted thepublic’s reaction??? Of course the general consensus is that it would becompletely disgusting to boo at actualkids, because at the end of the day, none of what the adults surroundingthem do is their fault at all… but it stillcould have happened. And given how everyone most likely knows that Klumisn’t really popular in our community, shouldn’t they have thought about the repercussionsof their actions before putting sucha plan in gear? This lack of brain function is completely beyond me.Whether it was the kids themselves asking for it and no one rejected them;Tom’s idea for wanting to please Heidi; Heidi’s own messed up concept; orsomething else entirely… my question is still all the same: how about someone thinks of the children’s wellbeing,instead of parading them around like circus animals? Yeah, people mostly complained about this because the VIP’s were coldly toldoff as secondary as soon as the kids got involved. But I just wanted to saythis honestly goes well beyond the argument of “people paying a 1000€ to beable to have the best day of their lives, only to be told they have literallyno priority above the kids who were there out of what seemed to be pressurefrom Heidi Klum to get the spotlight she so desperately thinks she keeps lacking”.It’s not just about money. It’s about so much more than just money. To prove a point and for the sake of this essay though, I’ll still bring thisother argument up too:Look, I am of a firm belief that buying a VIP buys you – first and foremost – anexperience, and only then (assecondary) the contents of whatever the package one chooses to do includes. Andexperiences as such can obviously vary. Sometimes you’ll see the band be in agood mood, but sometimes you’ll get the vibe that they seem kind of down and uninterested.Honestly, all of those are fine by me personally. Even if I meet the band onone of their “down” days, I’d still find it beyond interesting, because Irealized at the very beginning already that I’m investing in something that iswell beyond just “a purchase,” and has many differentials in its equation – asmany as there are human emotions. You can’t exactly purchase good mood, and so youcan’t ever expect everything to be perfect and smooth, because you’re buyingyourself quality time with real life, actual, flesh and blood people, who canexperience all and every single emotion you toocan experience yourself: from despair to complete euphoria and everything inbetween. I think most people actually realize this and don’t mind it too much if theguys are moody – mostly because they rarely show it anyway, keeping up theirprofessional mask and making sure everyone is enjoying their experience to thefullest. That’s honestly such a tough part of their job, and we probably don’ttell them enough how much we appreciate that they do their best all the time to“meet everyone’s expectations,” even when they could honestly just say “fuckit”. Only… they kind of said their deepestand ugliest “fuck it” when they allapparently in unity agreed, that they have no problem if some individualsinterfere with their fans’ experience. Individuals to whom the concept of beingthere literally meant little to nothing. Because it’s not like thoseindividuals were on stage with their four favorite people in the whole world.Because those individuals haven’t been saved by their music again and again for15 years straight. Because to those individuals – even if they ended up havingfun (which they actually did not, so that’s even WORSE) – standing there wouldonly mean two minutes of semi-fun and euphoria, while to some of the fans,those two minutes would mean the wholeentire world, an experience they would never forget and always cherish deeply.So no matter how you take it, this is about way more than just one grand. It’sabout what the band was conveying to its fandom when they allowed this tohappen. It’s about how it felt as though they themselves don’t grasp theconcept of how much this means to some people. Of being ignorant on how much ofan impact they truly had on us in the years of our lives that we devoted tothem. About marking a clear void between the two fractures of “us” and “them,”putting themselves on a higher pedestal. Not to mention the fractures seem tobe opening up in between themselves as well, with other3. PEOPLE THAT ARE CLOSE TO THE BAND NOT BEING THAT ACCEPTING OF KLUM EITHERThe following includes both my personal experience, as well as experiences offriends that have been to concerts with and without me though the entire tour.While I have not seen Klum in Munich, (because I did not want to see her in Munich, and didn’t bother to turn my head evenremotely, because I just wanted to enjoy my time), my friends have all told mewhat I would suspect would be the case anyway, so you’re completely right onthe cold bitch-facing throughout the concert. Klum only ever cracks a propersmile when someone pokes her to ask for a selfie, finally satisfied that she’dgotten her share of the attention she so much craves and desires. Not even forjust the gig I’ve been to, but for the rest of them that are happening rightnow – people have all been telling me pretty much the same thing, again andagain, and there’s even been videos of her during the concerts to support theseclaims. Claims of “film, bitch-face, rinse and repeat”. Occasional jump andclap to not seem too out of place, maybe, but ones that aren’t even remotelyovertaken with any sense of pride or overflowing joy.One would expect of Mrs.ObsessedWithTheSurnameKaulitz to at least sing alongwith the songs, but she can barely manage Melancholic Paradise lyrics out ofher throat. Not to be prickly now – I’m not saying that that knowing TokioHotel songs by heart would or should be an indicator of the “true love” sheclaims to be experiencing towards Tom, but seeing the contrast between her andGustav’s wife or Georg’s girlfriend in this regard is just baffling. Not evenfor the fact that the two of them don’tseem to possess an apparently unstoppable itch when it comes to oversharingtheir enthusiasm on social media, but for the pure fact that they just plainobviously don’t have to create a social media hoax in order to portray theirgenuine happiness. Such namely always clearly shines on their proud faces,while Klum is the living example of what those girls who get front row looklike, who spend literally 2 hours of their ENTIRE concert just filming Tom fromup close, because apparently having 200gb of HD thirst footage of your iphonejust means so much more to some individuals than just enjoying and feeling the actual music seep through theirveins. But I digress.I didn’t really think too much about what either side of the parenthood isdoing – like you, I have heard mixed reports on that regard, because I know forsure the both mothers got along pretty well when they visited the concert inCologne, while on other occasions, fans have reported it might’ve not been likethat at all. All in all, I’m not bothering with them a lot, because no matterwhat their perceptions of their kids’ relationship is, it doesn’t seem to methey’ll have any sort of proper influence over it. The only thing I think I canpretty confidently claim is that both of the Gs partners aren’t all too fond ofher. You always see them separate from her on the gigs they do happen to attendtogether, and I haven’t seen them interact even once on Camp where there wereplenty of opportunities for them to do so.Besides that, everyone else is honestly still a damn mystery to me. All the wayfrom Bill and Andreas, to the Gs themselves – I still have no idea if they’rereally just that dumb to not noticethe very clear toxic patterns she is exhibiting, or if they just choose toignore the matter and let it slide again and again because Tom is, as of now,pretty much untouchable when it comes to the topic of her. Anon, I’m honestly dumbfounded, when it comes to this, Ireally am. Because even though I have pretty solid theories as to how Tom endedup being in this situation he’s in, I have still yet to find explanations forothers to not point out how disturbing it all is in retrospective.My options? They’re either:a) all just as manipulated as he is,b) all really lacking in the department of any sort of emotional intelligenceorc) their hands are actually tied, as they let him ride off his inexplicable exhilaration.But let’s be honest, what are the chances that everyone is faling for her tricks? What are the chances that everyone is emotionally backwards? My bet is that at least someone is seeing what’s going on here, but they just can’t do shit because Tom is so set to be stuck in his idealism.While we’re at this “undying euphoria” of his, can you just let me quicklybarge in with a major pet peeve I’m experiencing with Tom recently? Namely thefact of how he keeps glorifying Heidi as his “one and only true love,” and “somethingthat’s never happened to me before” and all the talk about how “the happiestday of his life is yet to come”. Ex-fucking-cuse me? I love Tom’s not-all-that-quirky-little-twelve-year-old-humorpersonality he pulls sometimes, but exclaiming all that just makes him seem beyond childish. In a way that is, to mepersonally, just very unpleasant. Irealize that he might have been fucked over and hurt more than we can possibly imagine,but to claim so impulsively and nonchalantly that “this is the first time he’sever been in love,” while being in a longass relationship before and even marryingbefore is just beyond disturbing. You can never take lessons from yourpast if you don’t learn to accept it, and this gives me all the more proof thatTom never really did processwhatever has happened between him and his ex-wife (which honestly doesn’t comeas a surprise). I’m stuck between being disappointed, because I though he hadit in him to work through his demons, sad for him that he doesn’t seem to havethe ability to do any sort of soul-searching, and just plain angry that he hasthe audacity to just ignore such a huge chunk of his life as if it didn’thappen whatsoever. Now that I’ve got that off my chest, I guess I might touch up on the fact thatshe4. SEEMS TO BE RANDOMLY INTRUDING VARIOUS Q&ASWhich people surprisingly also seem to be “okay with,” simply because the Gs’partners are both also sometimes present. Well guess what, even when the othertwo are listening in to a Q&A, it really isn’t the most professional. But atleast they have the decency to notshowcase a moment that was meant to be private to 6 million people. Weunderstand, the mighty Klum is above the petty rules of the peasants, no need to keep on ruining the only possibleprivate moments fans ever get to have with the band. “But what’s beenruined? You still get your Q&A, you still get your picture, what are youcomplaining about?” I hear people ask. I mean, first of all – the picture to meis just a little extra cherry on top which I can totally live without anyway(especially if it’s a solo one, seeing how they are really pressed about group picturesthis time around, and that’s the only one actually worth having in my book). Theactual reason for which I’m buying these VIPs are the Q&As. I love to talkto the guys, and I love it when they are raw, and completely unfiltered, anduncensored, and sincere with their fans, and when their appreciation for usactually sitting there and giving them good conversations comes through. Throw in a Heidi, and what do you get? Do peoplereally think their answers wouldn’t sway from what they could have been withouther presence? Do people really think Tom would be as genuine in his answers ifshe’d be lurking from the shadows? Do people really think she wouldn’t start pullingtheir attention from fans towards her eventually if she so wished? I’ve seen ithappen once on Camp, so I’ve no doubt she’d do it again if she simply felt likeit. And that’s just purely a no-go. Let them work. It’s half an hour of a day.Let the fans have their moment with their favorite artist. Stop intrusively insertingyourself in every situation that is humanly possible of inserting yourselfinto. This fandom doesn’t care about you. Get over yourself.I bet I’ll be able to give you way more emotionally charged info in that regardafter Saturday, where she’s almost bound to make a scene, seeing how it’s herbirthday.Ah, Saturday. A thought that should genuinely excite me. A Tokio Hotel concert,a meet and greet even! Tomorrow! Precious moments with the band that I’ve beenfollowing for more than half of my lifenow. Meeting people that have inspired me to become what I am, taught methat being me is enough.And so tell me, why do I feel anxiousnesswhere there should be happiness? Whyis my first thought “oh no,” instead of “fuck yes”? Why do I just keep thinkinghow “I don’t want this to be made into a random circus about a random assperson,” and how I desperately “crave to simply enjoy my show, with my music,and my band, nothing else”. What is the reason behind me being concerned about going to a TH concertinstead of being out of this worldexcited to the point of denial as I’ve always been?Well, your answer has a name and a surname. And she’s pushing this fandomfurther away from the band, one person at a time.I won’t even go into the stealing a M&G photo and editing out the fan part.I’m exhausted. If by now people haven’t caught up on her sheer deranged stateof mind, then it’s beyond me. All I can ask of you now, anon, is to cross yourfingers for me, and hope that I end up this tour on that same high note that Iwanted it to end, even if I picked the utmost worst date to do so. And crossthem then some further, in case it all goes south and they bring her out onstage and want to make me sing happy birthday to her, making everyone feelactually obliged and required to give two flying fucks about her. Because then,I’ll need all the willpower in the world to not get drunk and just tell themoff, speaking honestly about how what they’re doing is plain unprofessional,and that I want my 4 member band back, because I never fucking signed up for a5th one.Sorry if this is too much of a mess or didn’t exactly go into any psychological-research if that’s what you were expecting. If you have further sub-questions (want me to further elaborate on the manipulative behavior maybe), or want me to have a go at specifically just the parent issue, do let me know, and I’ll be sure to give it some more thought and answer further. But right now, it just really felt good to vent, so thanks for giving me that opportunity nonnie! And thank you for appreciating my posts!

I was reading your tags and please, for the love of God, write a Mafia AU. I haven't been able to find any good ones.

i wanna so bad! i find organized crime fascinating, & i’m also a big movie nerd, with crime films being my fav genre, so im super into that sorta thing. definitely would love to see it, but o boy, maybe ill jus write it myself?? gotta do everythin myself haha

i’d def go the historical route, so it’d be interesting to try to both apply characters that are firmly rooted in 90s/2000s behaviors & beliefs, and stick them in the 1900s. oh, boy, writing historical stuff is a pain. so much research. worth it tho, if it’s done well. aye, and it’ll be cool to try to keep it as nonfictional as possible. like, attempting to insert the kids (as adults, obvs) into crime history. i wonder if i could do tht? it’d be fun. it’s definitely uncharted waters. there’s a lot of potential there.

but, hmm, i think mafia aus are so rare in fandom (not just the sp fandom, but across the board) bc they contradict everything that’s popular in fanfic. mob aus would feature violence, business, finances, and corruption. whereas fics prefer cuddles, leisure time, a world where money aint an issue, and wholesomeness. and considering the majority of fic is written by horny and/or love-starved teenage girls who dont know or care about the aforementioned subjects, it makes sense. kinda a bummer, but understandable. in the defense of like everyone, lmao, those sorta fics take a lot of planning, & aint nobody got time. so i get it.

oof i think a major thing too is how gay-centric fic/fandom is, when the mobster world is undeniably a heterosexual one. thats an issue. shit, i wonder how many gay characters i could get away with while keeping it realistic. i mean, im sure there were gay mobsters, in fact i’ve read about a couple, but the lifestyles did not go hand in hand, lol.

IM STUPID NO ONE CARES ABT THIS DUMB SHIT HERES IDEAS

i’m thinking 1940s new york. im inclined towards kyman, as u probs kno, but again, the gay thing. huh. maybe i can figure it out. maybe theyre young bachelors, and theyre business partners & fuck around sometimes. we’ll see. anyway. if we’re gonna include all characters….

cartman would pull a goodfellas - he’s of, what, german descent? hell, considering his parents, he probably wouldn’t even exist in this universe. eh. well. he’d def be from yorkville, manhattan, cuz tht was a german neighbourhood. anyway he’d weasel into the italian mob, bc he’d be into the idea of 1) exorbitant amounts of money, and 2) being feared/respected. his authoritah! psh. and someone would notice how smart he is & mentor him, regardless of nationality. he’d quickly make enemies, though, because he’s rude & brash. he’d also quickly become one of the most respected young dons (would he reach that level, without a family? doubt it. he’d have to become a made man, which i believe is reserved exclusively for italians ….. ehhhh ill figure it out. maybe he’d branch out, start his own crime family. that’d be interesting. ooo.) damn, ukno, i think the 40s would make a real interesting character out of cartman. huh. yah, that’d be cool to explore, how that time period would shape him. like i said, he likely wouldt even exist. did the denver broncos exist back then? doubt it

kyle would get wrapped up in the jewish mob (which existed, and which i’d personally l o v e to be a part of lol - if i was born 100 years ago), maybe while trying to protect ike from getting involved? that’d be cool. maybe he’d demonstrate his brains & be offered a job as an accountant or an attorney, and he’d be forced to comply, either bc 1) his fam was threatened if he declined, or 2) his fam was doing bad financially & needed it. maybe both. hell, maybe he avoids the jewish mob & gets involved with the others. MAYBE IKE IS THE ONE IN THE JEWISH MOB & WANTS HIS BROTHER BACK FROM THE ITALIANS. OOOOOOOOO also they’d be from brooklyn, likely, bc that’s where jews were primarily located back then. u kno there was 400k jews in new york in 1899?? including my great great great grandparents. that’s a shit ton of jews lol. lil fun fact for ya. 

wait ok so oof this is hard now, bc the mob was primarily divided into three chunks - the italians, the jews, & the irishmen. there was also the puerto ricans, but that was, like, a different division. i’m mentioning this because nationality was important to mobsters, to all organized crimes groups actually, but south park doesn’t make a habit of mentioning what countries each character’s ancestors came from, lol. so it’d be a lot of writer interpretation. and that’s cool and all, but doesn’t give me much to work with, considering most of the kids are white and likely german/england-descended. 

i could make kenny & butters irish. that’d work. i think kenny’s last names irish, actually. they could be from hell’s kitchen, which had a p hefty irish-american population. maybe i could make stan irish, too. wendy might be able to pass for italian (little italy manhattan??? maybe the bronx??? im tryna think geography lol. for scale.). that’d work, if i wanted to put some stendy in there, bc i love making stan the token het guy, haha. maybe wendys dad marries her off to stan to form an alliance between the italians & irish. that’d be interesting. maybe cartman was rallying to get wendy to marry him, bc he needed to marry someone bc of, like, societal expectations, & she was the only girl who caught his interest. maybe he declares war on stan, to win back the bride he wants. maybe kyles best friends w stan, tht happened somehow, & interjects. goes to meet cartman to discuss a way out - ohhhhh theres my kyman babay!!! oooooo!!!

omg. plot forming. this is def an interesting concept. maybe i can use it as a chance to write a plot-oriented fic that doesn’t rely heavily on ships. that’d be awesome. i’ve wanted to do that for ages.

maybe we can squeeze christophe in as a french immigrant, maybe an associate of someone. same with gregory, but, like, british. that’d be fun. craig & tweek can be somewhere in there, too. associates of cartman or something. maybe they own a brothel. oooh. who else. bebe! maybe she can be a cabaret dancer who someone falls for. nothin wrong w hetero nonsense if it’s done right & if it aint nonsense. yah? maybe she can be ken’s love interest. also maybe token & nichole can be in there somewhere, from harlem?

this sounds fun as fuck, though, def. im really obsessed with new york right now, so maybe writing this could be a love letter to its history. that’d be dope. ooh, and im from las vegas actually, born & raised, so maybe i could do a chapter set there, considering the mob was very influential in the strip’s development. that’d be rad. holy heck. im excited abt this now. gotta finish oboitd asap & get into this, haha.

o shit. i jus realized, like, just how much research i’d have to do. like, not only about organized crime, abt 40s slang & dress, abt new york, abt everything. oooh boy this is a Project

ill get on that eventually haha, im into it now. it’s 4am rn tho so ima sleep, gnite anon

hello! i’m the anon who left the 6-part ask regarding mg a few months ago (i refer to those asks bc i’m back to drop more thoughts about mg and might touch on what i previously said). i wrote this whole thing disregading word count, believing i could drop it all in one go because i managed to log in to my tumblr, but it seems i still have to break it up… lmao i don’t know how many parts this will be or if i could post it all tonight, but i will signify the very end with “6-part anon” :)

Cont’d with response under the cut (I made some executive decisions about where the paragraphs break lol so it’s not all one block of text):

they want to be famous; that part just came along with the package. then i read in your bts post, you see mg as more wrapped up in entertainment, having star power with a bright personality, liking the limelight. reading that, i do agree, but i guess ive never thought of that before. i think wanting to be a star and wanting to be in the spotlight can seem self-centered. i hope im not coming across like im judging everyone who wants to be famous as “bad” because that’s not what i’m trying to do, but i think it’s safe enough to say that wanting to be famous means wanting people’s attention on you. i’m trying to tread carefully but i suppose i am saying that on the surface, wanting to be a big star can seem a little selfish in the sense that you want to boost your image, present your best self at all times, want people’s eyes on you and want them to think good things about you. combining those general thoughts about wanting to be a star, with my thoughts about mg in particular, is interesting to me.

i’ve always seen him as someone so selfless, so lovely, so considerate towards others. throughout idotsc, you’ve written him throughout as someone so amiable, liked by everyone, and also selfless and considerate. and in chp 7, his reaction twds the pictures is... well, I think they’re pretty true to character, and again i think it shows selflessness. then the ‘Love Languages’ text that OP had written— while, of course, OP doesn’t know him and everything is an assumption to a certain degree, I think their writing summarizes in one place what I observed about mg through the content available to the public: he constantly gives to people around him, exhibiting sincerity, words of gratitude and acts of service. at the same time, i definitely agree with what you said about his star quality, so i think that was the first time i really stopped to examine my thoughts about stardom and how some things may not be mutually exclusive.

“stardom” also makes me think about his recent incident, because of course, such incidents are definitely a potential consequence of fame. during that time i’ve also come across several opinions saying that they’re not surprised if a current idol was a past bully… i don’t remember exactly what people said but i think it was somewhere along the lines of, if they were so confident and cocky since predebut, then they might have had the qualities of a bully. something like that. i think from the outside looking in, it may be easier to equate star quality with a diva attitude/disregard twds others.

one thing i’d like to add is sth that a famous person said abt fame, and why they value it more than money, bc if they meet a fan, the look on the fan’s face upon meeting them gives them a feeling money can’t buy. and i suppose from this angle, being a star seems selfless. with svt too, they expressed how meaningful it is to them that theyre able to bring us so much joy. i think from the outside looking in, it may be easier to equate star quality with a diva attitude/disregard twds others. one thing i’d like to add is sth that a famous person said abt fame, and why they value it more than money, bc if they meet a fan, the look on the fan’s face upon meeting them gives them a feeling money can’t buy. and i suppose from this angle, being a star seems selfless. with svt too, they expressed how meaningful it is to them that theyre able to bring us so much joy.

i hope this all makes sense; i had lots of thoughts and wanted to try to write them. i struggled to understand why one would want to be a star, and went in circles questioning if i thought it was more selfish or selfless, and what one’s true motives might be behind wanting fame. ik u implied u embrace long writing bc you also write in length, but i’m less eloquent than you are so i hope this was fine! thank you again for having a space where people could offload their thoughts :) ~6-part anon~

There’s a lot to unpack here, isn’t there! A buffet of food for thought, for sure. I can’t possibly respond to everything written here because there’s just so many points, so I’ll write a few points. As always, take what I write with a grain of salt.

I don’t think there’s anything bad or inherently wrong with pointing out that, hey, people who are interested in a profession necessarily tied to a public image probably to show off or want attention. These things are perfectly natural to want, even for people who aren’t celebrities, because we’re (1) inherently social creatures and a lot of our survival is contingent on external success, and (2) we are brought up to feel validation from others, especially in an age where our lives are much more on display. But I can see why “selfishness” may be thrown in the mix because we often look down on attention-seekers and “popular” people, many of whom exhibit arrogant/tone-deaf behaviors. On the other hand, it’s understandable that an idol with a big public image necessitates putting their best foot forward all the time to maintain good opinion of them and to earn more money, frankly.

I’ve probably repeated myself too many times, but something I’ve been grappling with recently is this black-and-white mindset/judgment system we often have of others (very much exacerbated by social media, e.g. witch hunts). Bad is bad, good is good. I’ve thought this way for a long time of myself in an upbringing that always punished/looked down on bad behavior (or what was considered behavioral flaws, like speaking out against elders, swearing as a femme person, etc.) rather than acknowledging that “bad” behavior can be exhibited by people who also do and act “good.” In short, while I can only speak from my perspective, I think we’re programmed to subconsciously seek behavioral perfection for a number of reasons: we were raised that way by family; and/or society; we feel judged by the presence of social media and greater access into our lives; accessibility to celebrities and “perfect” public figures makes us judge ourselves by comparison; education systems that poorly address internal learning as well as external learning, etc.

In Mingyu’s case, there’s nothing wrong with seeing and continuing to see him as all those good qualities in my opinion. There’s nothing wrong with grappling with potential past problematic behaviors of your faves, as long as you’re critical and open-minded about the parties involved (which is rarely ever a fanbase at large, but the skewed authority of a fanbase is a different can of worms). Idols are human, which means dealing with the good and bad that comes with interacting humans. Contrary to popular belief (and I write this sarcastically), people CAN change. People should be ALLOWED to change. Characters are static. People are not. And it’s sad to say that this is still an issue in the K-Pop world. 

As hard as it sounds, a person who bullied others in the past could still have good or pure intentions for becoming an idol. They could still feel fulfillment from making others happy; is that a bad thing? I personally don’t think so. Or maybe a person’s intentions for becoming an idol could be mixed good or bad, who the fuck knows? Not us. Honestly, I firmly believe that we fans don’t have the right to make definitive moral judgments of idols in the first place because we don’t know them personally. That, and people are extremely complex and hard to categorize, as much as we want to because it’s easier to do so. People are messy. Real life teaches us that more than the Internet does imo.

In any case, I don’t think selfishness and selflessness are mutually exclusive in the same way a person can be both good and bad. I learned that language, too, is a powerful vehicle that influences how we think. In that vein, with how compartmentalized definitions are in specific words, perhaps we think that their existence/practice is separate, i.e. being “selfish” is never being “selfless” because each word’s definition exists solely in their respective word and not the other (hopefully that makes some sense).

TL;DR: I think wanting attention and validation from others is okay and not inherently a bad thing, and people are fucking messy and rarely good without the bad (and vice versa).

Pretty sure I rambled a ton as well and probably didn’t hit that many points that you offered, anon. You ended up putting me on a thought train as well!

746.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 47

4501. Who do you feel on shaky grounds with? anyone who’s acting suspicious or uneasy. 4502. How would you rate Stephen King as a writer? i’ve never read any of his books tbh. 4503. What movie are you looking forward to? ocean’s eight! 4504. Hulk Hogan with or without the bandana? i can’t even imagine him without one. 4505. Do you more often tell people what you feel or what you think? both, i think they work hand in hand.

4506. Have you been to see an opera? no, i wouldn’t mind seeing it though. 4507. What do you wish that you knew with more certainty? what the future will bring. or at least what direction it’ll take. 4508. Does your heart break and break and live by breaking? no. 4509. Can you tell the difference between what you think and what you feel or do you often get them confused? nope. 4510. Do you feel like there are a lot of referances in this survey that you are not getting? yeah, it’s lame. a lot of grammatical errors too. 4511. You are shopping in the Mad Mall for things to add to your room. Of the following list, what 5 things will you buy? lollipops, lace up boots, bondage gear, bubblegum machine, a miniature orange grove, house plants, Bob Geldof, duct tape, Buzzcocks, poet shirts, Marc Almond, Al Gore, acrylic paints, Snoopy's dog house, an original andy warhol painting, zippers, orange and pink matching curtains and bed spread, flash, oj simpson, a slurpee maker, some flutes, electric chairs, feather pillows, post it notes, the terminator wax statue, fight club the movie, fight club the book an original andy warhol painting, snoopy’s dog house, feather pillows, slurpee machine and house plants. 4512. Of the following things, which would you most like to have more of? drink, dreams, bed, drugs, lust, lies, hate, love, fear, fun, pain, flesh, stars, smiles, fame, sex bed, love, love, smiles, sex. 4513. Your preference. David Bowie or Marc Bolan? bowie. 4514. Who'd win in a fight, Morrissey or Robert Smith? idk either of them enough to choose. 4515. Earth girls are: what are earth girls? 4516. One of your friends tells you they are going to train to become a cop. your reaction? i’d be supportive and congratulate them. 4517. Would you ever consider working for the government? i would, they get really good benefits here. 4518. What are the best and wort television channels? i hardly watch tv. 4519. If you had a magicle pencil and everything you drew became real what would you draw? money!! 4520. Your boots were made for: walking. 4521. What movie would you like to see a mystery science theater episode about (even if it isn't a sci fi movie, just one that needs making fun of)? idk... 4522. What's the buzz? nothing. 4523. The last person you would want to be stranded on a desert island with is: someone i hate. 4524. Your partner takes an aeroplane trip. the plane disappears and is never found. How long do you wait for them to return before you begin looking for a new partner? i couldn’t put a time limit on it. i might not even move on, who knows. 4525. Soma animals that mate for life can literally die of grief if their mate is captured or dies. How many humans would do that do you think? it’s definitely possible for other humans to do this. 4526. What would you like to touch? the biggest diamond in the world. 4527. Does anything you own glow in the dark? nail polish. 4528. Would you rather ride a dragon or a unicorn? dragon. 4529. Do things just always go right for you? hell no. 4530. What's the best nick toon? hey arnold. 4531. Can you make a balloon animal? nope :( 4532. Would you undress at a nude beach? no. 4533. Wherever there's a secret recipe, there is someone who wants to steal it. True or false? i guess that’s the allure of calling it a secret recipe. 4534. What is today but yesterday's tommorrow? the present. 4535. Are you more like spongebob who does nothing right but still everything good happens to or like squidworth who tries to do things right and ends up having nothing good happen to him? squidworth. 4536. How many glasses of water do you drink each day? aiming for the usual 8. 4537. What is the difference between intelectualism and pretentiosness? being pretentious obviously just means you think you’re better/smarter than the people you’re with. 4538. What do you like in a poem, accessability, crypticness or somethin in between? i hate poems. 4539. What do you think of William Blake? Is his writing difficult to understand? never read his stuff. 4540. Has learning to spell become obsolete? not at all. but in this survey, yes omg... 4541. Who do you find yourself in constant conflict with? Why the conflict? me. 4542. What is the difference between literature and hallmark cards? everything lol. 4543. How many contemporary poets can you name? none. 4544. What subjects do you refuse to talk about? Why are you hiding from them? i’m open to talking about anything as long as it’s with the right people. 4545. Are you every parent's wet dream? ew, no. 4546. Everyone starts in the garden of Eden but no one can stay there. Why not? idk. 4547. Would you want to join a club that would have you as a member? sure. 4548. Greatest black and white film: i haven’t watched many in my time tbh. 4549: Greatest film three hours or longer: titanic, duhhhh. 4550. No means.. no. 4551. When you are exposed to the artwork (poetry, painting etc) of a friend, family member or aquantance how likly are you to criticize it? if i know them well i’d give them constructive criticism. i don’t think i’d bash the work of someone i didn’t know. 4552. Do you mentally reject people? Before speaking to them? some days i just check out i guess. 4553. Are we already living out 1984? no. 4554. Sing, now!  What did you sing? Can you sing? Are you the next american idol? no, no, i’m not american. 4555. Do you like the feeling of a ball point pen being used to draw pictures on your palm? no lol. 4556. Have you ever been airbrushed? no. 4557. Are you an alitist? What are you elitist about? lol let’s not go there. 4558. Are you arrogant? About what? i’m arrogant towards arrogant people, does that count?  4558. Use the two following words in a sentance: ghandi, ford no. 4559. Are you trecherous? no. 4560. Nam the ten bands you are the biggest fan of: Name the ten bands who are your biggest fans: no. 4561. Are you jolly? not really. 4562. What does the world stop for? nothing. anything could happen and in some places it’ll just be business as usual. 4563. Would you like to reapolster your furniture in camoflauge? no thanks. 4564. Would you rather have your own personal live in massuse or a new car? personal live in masseuse that also cooks haha. 4565. What were you born holding? nothing. 4566. Big nose, is it ugly or does it give the face character? depends if it works with the other features of the face. 4567. Name three things you would NOT do, even for one million dollars (tax free): 1 kill a human, 2 eat a human. 3 kill someone’s pet 4568. Who has rejected you? Who have you rejected? certain jobs. 4569. Natural body odor or perfumes and colognes? perfumes and colognes! 4570. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ss. 4571. Who frolics in the autumn mist in a land called honalee? lol. 4572. Is anything nastier as a snack than fruit roll ups? shit i guess. 4573. When you hear someone make a joke about something will you later make the same joke to someone else as if you had just thought it up? my boyfriend always does this lol. i hardly ever do it, i’m pretty forgetful. What if someone just says something intelligent, would you use what they said later as if you had made it up? no, if i repeat this i’ll always the credit the person that told me. 4574. What's on your pajamas? plain colours. 4575. Are people nicer in new york or california? i’m guessing california. 4576. Ever think about moving to Alaska to live as a hermit? i’d love to do it temporarily. 4577. You are interested in a potential mate who is already attatched. Do you encourage him or her to leave their current catch or try to find someone all alone? no way. i’d never try and break up a couple. 4578. Do you play in the snow? haven’t done so in about ten years. 4579. Do you save a snowball in your freezer to hit someone with in the summer time? no lol. ouch. 4580. What bible storiy would you like to see acted out by animated veggetables? What vegetable would play jesus? idk. 4581. Will you be ready for the next alien attack? the next? has there already been one? 4582. You can't make this easy can you? nope. 4583. What is a small thing that people let slide but that actually has dire consequenses? cheating. 4584. Are you the open window maniac? no? 4585. Have you ever been a hall monitor?  What exactly do hall monitors do anyway? nope, never had one in my school either. 4586. Would you rather wear an army uniform or a cow costume for halloween? cow lol. 4587. When was the last timeyou played tag, musical chairs, hide and seek etc? as a kid. 4588. Can you leap frog? i haven’t tried in years. maybe! 4589. What was the lost strong and clear emotion yo felt? idk... 4590. Are you more of a disco ball, a candle or a robot? candle. 4591. Could any good come out of a nuclear holocaust? i’m not the right person to ask. 4592. Are you an angel in disguise? no, i wish. 4593. Could you have fun with ajelly fish? for 12 hours? no thanks. 4594. Who throws the wildest parties? it used to be this one guy i know. and then we all grew up. 4595. Do you own an I <3 NY shirt? yes. 4596. If you could make a channel that played only one show all day what show would it be? the office. or the simpsons. anything with a ton of episodes and is funny. 4597. Are you a rockstar only no one knows it yet? no. 4598. have you ever been stung by anything? What? nope. 4599. Who's autograph have you gotten in the last year? no one. i feel like selfies with celebrities are more popular now than autographs. 4600. Are you enjoying this? no.

As I was tweeting a few of days ago, I wish I was liveblogging my reactions to a webtoon that I’m reading (I mostly read from the LINE Webtoons site, and sometimes, SOMETIMES I check the Discover part of the website ...where I swear needs a better searching system? THERE’S A LOT THERE), because I’m mostly amused at it.

Long story short is that I freaking LOVE "Anne”, even though it gives me some overwhelming and uneasiness feelings around. 

IT's a VERY slow burn (?) romance story (I read material from 2015 up until now) and there are TON of things that haven't been resolved YET (and the in-universe time pace is "a couple of weeks" what).

I know it’s not a perfect story (and the characters are a mixed bag due to how they act), the art in general is fine,  but I’m a dork for romance shit with a fairly interesting plot (and the bonus is that the MCs are around my age... lol).

And, tbh, there are also two reasons why I stayed: one is that it was tagged as mature (and there are smut scenes, even though the free version has them censored -”free”, meaning the author has them uncensored through Patreon tiers... and DAMN... I’m tempted... but I’m not very stable either right now OTL - ), and the other one is that the male MC (Charlie) has an uncanny resemblance to Mage(*) and I couldn’t... let’s say... take my sight away from it >3> (It was... no, it IS weird, lol)

So, I started reading... and I was hooked. Link here (to read from the beginning). 

Due to possible spoilers, let me handle the read cut and start rambling:

Anne is 26 years old, works as a freelance illustrator and is mostly a shy and introverted woman who doesn’t trust too much in other people besides her friends and people inside her comfort zone (such as her sister). She gets invited to an Elementary School reunion, a time of her life that she isn’t very fond of (relatable af). The last person she finds there is the boy, now a grown up and very successful man, who used to bully her, Charlie. And things turn upside down from there on.

There’s things here and there that mostly gives clues to why she became the person she is in the present, or why she doesn’t trust that much to Charlie, who seems to have changed his life around as well... “Seems” is a very keyword here (due to how events have been going on). And I cannot really blame Anne.

Her friends are mostly shitty, tbh?. Mónica even more so than Sofía. Mónica has been her friend since Elementary School, but she is so self-centered and very manipulative to play things in her favor. It looks like it’s very intentional (or more likely, automatic... because she sends LOTS of mixing messages, even if she claims she cares for Anne... all due to missunderstandings), as it look like there was a tension building up right after she developed a crush on Charlie during High School and that ONE NIGHT incident that COULD have made her go into a more antagonistic route towards Anne. She does mention that their friendship reached a rift thanks to Edward... because, he is another piece of work thanks to the hints given around.

Sofía was someone Anne started to be friends with more towards her adult life, and at the same time, I don’t think she is the best influence in her adult life, either. I think she is giving her best support, and often acts like a mom towards her, but she is also very pushy in some situations (for example, she is the one who forced Anne to go to the reunion... helped Charlie to go to see her, even when she told her she didn’t want to see him again) that may not help that much.

Martha, Anne’s sister, looks like it’s the only one of her family that is around (their parents got divorced somewhere along the line, and looks like Anne doesn’t really get along them), even if she is overseas. She looked her up when younger (as she often defended her from Charlie) but she also has some issues around (mostly, she looks like a very impulsive person... I kinda understand why asking money and help to her sister is the only way (even though there’s little consideration about Anne’s own economical struggles, too?).. but gdi, I think most of her problems overseas could have been avoided if she wasn’t too impulsive... and I REALLY suspect there is smth more shady to her story in Japan than it has been shown (truth to be told, for one, I do know that living there is expensive... hence why I think that there’s smth shady around).

Edward... at the moment hasn’t shown up in front of the reader. But there are hints to make us think that he may be manipulative (if I trust Mónica’s words about that) and that his relationship with Anne was not exactly the best one (up until recent time, as he has been gone for months, and suddenly he appears in Japan saying that he is “coming back” soon). Like... maybe he is manipulative... (”best” case scenario is that he and Anne had a very toxic relationship, and their “break up” involved cheating... in other words... reason why she doesn’t trust men either)... but details are still in the dark. They apparently started dating since high school...

And then there’s Charlie. 

I’m not going to defend why he bullied Anne when they were younger, as there are always other things to reccur when starting getting along with someone you like. Personally, for every little bad thing he did, I think he should have apologized for that at the time (there was one time he accidentally closed her inside a janitor’s room when they were kids... it was a prank gone wrong), and eventually (more than a decade or so later) he does (she isn’t nowhere happy with that apology, though). 

He has a loooong story with Anne besides the bullying part, as they have been classmates all the way up until High School. It’s clear that he always liked her (to an unhealthy(?) degree of obsession afawk)  and has always been in a “we are not friends, but mostly acaquaintances” friendship (not sure if frenemies) relationship with her ever since... probably more in high school, where he was part of the popular crowd clique (he claims he didn’t like being part of it, though). 

That ONE night incident is part of this, too... but maybe it is problematic no matter how you look at it (not going too much into details about this, but WOW). The aftermaths are clear in many things, though (Anne feels embarrassed enough about this, even to claim nothing happened; this is just my theory, but Mónica probably is the one who started the gossip due to jealousy, and it doesn’t help that Charlie was popular, antagonizing Anne in a whole instead of “helping” her...)

Let me be clear, Charlie is not a saint, although he is noticeable embarrassed about a loooot of stuff he did in the past (and it comes out that the guy ended up being a dorky geek, too), many of which he ended making more enemies than friends. There’s still stuff that the reader doesn’t know that much about him (like his real profession... he is in a department of some kind of business and that forces him to take trips), however, and he claims he didn’t really had a steady romantic relationship with someone (he didn’t want to because “there was always a girl on his mind”, so past flings may be a thing... and he has a female stalker) until recent times -and they aren’t longer together, either-. His way of acting in the present is also not the best, I swear (oh, it is an improvement from his childhood and possibly teenage years, but he needs to improve much more).

Anne herself isn’t that much of a saint either, although I think I relate a lot of stuff she goes through (mostly relating to work and comfort zones)... I do wonder if I had friends like hers... but then again, that would be probably more toxic than positive in my own life.

And SO, things start to heat when Anne and Charlie  share a kiss and mixing feelings start to bloom in Anne’s mind and heart. That much (and amusing) that it allows to see some of her alter-egos (?), each representing a part of her (her kid self, her teenage self, her “professional persona”, her “heart”/romantic self -who still misses Edward, so it rises some questions about who he is, though...- and her sexual needs, ejem, literally her vag**a), lol. Similarly, Charlie has its own (although a bit different, at the moment?) - his professional persona, his teenage self (who I suspect may be his teenage wrath from the aftermaths of the night incident), and his sexual needs (? or so I think he represents it, lol).

There’s too much I want to talk about, and this post is getting too long already ;;.

But these all things also raise questions?! And I am so into it that? AHHHH!!! 

No wonder why I feel overwhelmed about it. Even with the usual that I’m reading in the main page of Webtoons (that have an established storyline going like Gourmet Hound, Assassin Roommate, or Kind of Confidential), right now.

Bless you if you read this rambling.. I swear it could have gotten longer. The series is ongoing... apparently there’s still too much to happen and like I mentioned in the first few paragrpahs, I’m even more amused this has happened in-universe in a couple of weeks (or at least a month?) during the past 3 years IRL.

(*) And I really want to think this was unintentional... hence why I mention “uncanny resemblance” (it’s mostly the form of their faces, and how they look with their hair tied up, most of the time Charlie doesn’t do this... you cannot imagine how hard was not thinking in this when I have one of my Mage keychains on my desk...

Re: corn bybrids, I thought developing a monoculture was quite...dangerous, having a vast amount of food production depending on something never coming along which might evolve to attack a single genetic variety... like the way it went with bananas... and might be going again with bananas... Isn't genetic diversity kind of the key component of robustness in the ongoing evolution race between plant and pest?

okay, so first of all: damage in the maize industry due to a large amount of the same seed variety being used has happened before because of the thing that anon is talking about, way back in the gap between the 50s and the 70s when we didn’t know as much about breeding things for agri as we do now. 

to understand this bit of maize history, we have to back up here and explain detasseling. the process of detasseling is a HHUUUUUUUGGEE thing in the midwest to the point where its a tradition/coming of age ritual for a lot of rural families. so in large production cornfields (which create mass hybrid seed for farmers), it’s like my job on a huge scale; at this point, corn research facilities (like the one I work at) have chosen the best resulting hybrid varieties from two of their inbred strains and have decided to market it. to do this, they send the seed companies a shit ton of seeds for the inbred parents with the intention of making a super shit ton of hybrid seed for sale. at my work, when the resulting varieties might be openly tossed out at any moment, we hand-pollinate the maize with special bags, but this is impossible with literal thousands of plants on a production line. so what companies do is plant fields separated into parts- part A will be the male inbred line, and part B will be the female inbred line. the intention is to mass-pollinate the female line with the male line. this is done by chopping off all the tassels (the male flower structures on top of the plants) off the plants in the female section, so that the field has no choice but to pollinate the female ears in part B with the male tassels in part A. the plants in part B produce ears of hybrid seed, which can be sold. 

and this is where the bus loads of rural teens come in. detasseling is a notoriously HORRIBLE job, but it also pays well to the point that you can make $1,000 in a few weeks, which attracts farm kids to get up at 4AM to walk through the female sections of fields to individually pull the tassels off each and every female plant. each field has a different arrangement; some are one row male, two rows female, ect, but its all the same concept. in recent decades we’ve developed giant wacking machines that roll through the fields and chop off all the female tassels, but anyone who works with plants knows that when you work with biological organisms, it’s nearly impossible to use a machine to regulate everything the exact same way; every individual is different, which is why to this day every late June to early July corn companies hire farm kids to do this horrible job for a reasonable amount of pay. 

now you may be like, “why can’t they just get rid of the tassels in the genes??” and that’s where we come to our story about the terrible potential of inbred line crossing and mass monocultures when done incorrectly.

in the 1950s, people in corn research facilities found a single corn inbred variety that allowed for male sterility in the inbred line; when crossed, it regained it’s fertility as a hybrid cross. this means that seed corn companies could use a fertile male inbred line and this specific infertile line as their female, and during production wouldn’t need to hire detasselers. the resulting corn would be perfectly fertile to use by farmers in the field for the production of grain. 

the result of this was people using a shit ton of this female line. like. in everything. like by the mid 1960s almost all seed corn was produced with this gene so corn companies could save money. 

and this is where we reach the total nightmare scenario that i still kind of geek out about because it’s such a nightmare scenario like how could you create a monoculture like this when this is like. a textbook potential result of reducing genetic diversity?????:

in 1971, we had a huge outbreak of fungus southern corn leaf blight. it just so happened that the male infertile inbred line being used as a female in like 500000000 hybrid corn varieties was very susceptible to fungus southern corn leaf blight. and the hybrid corn that was developed from it- which at this point made up 90% of all hybrid corn being grown in the United States- was also susceptible to it. 

we lost 15% of the entire USA’s maize crop in 1971 because corn companies wanted to save money and didn’t have the tech to increase genetic diversity in their inbred lines. also this is just the USA, like this is a quote from the abstract of this emergency white paper on the epidemic discussing the nightmare scenario looming over the susceptible crop in 1970-1971 canada when it crept up from the corn belt (canada ended up not suffering as badly as the US, and that paper is really interesting and anxiety-inducing to read if your interested in plant pathology btw):

75% like could you even imagine. if this was worse than it was canada alone could have lost 75% of its entire maize crop. like i cannot believe this literally happened like you would think???? that they would be like o shit we have a lot of that corn like we should prob not do that incase something was to happen???? but they didnt they really. just did it lol

anyway so the resolution to that story is that of course farmers were like wow i sure dont want to lose my livelihood to my entire crop failing and immediately stopped buying hybrids with the susceptible inbred line. it literally fell out of use in like three years and we went back to manual detasseling even though the scientists in the 80s were like “hey we fixed it” and tried putting a leaf blight resistant male infertile inbred line back on the market for crossing but no one would touch that shit lol

and thats the story of how detasseling almost stopped for like 30 years until the US maize market took a major hit as the result of companies cutting corners and then came back and is still a thing that happens every year. today, we do use the male infertile inbred lines, but not even close to in the same capacity as we did in the 60s. it’s used today in conjunction with manual detasseling and machine detasseling to reduce costs. 

so anyway, i asked the corn breeders at work about how they prevent this nightmare from happening again, and they told me a couple things:

1. theres just. so many corn varieties out there now that are used. like to give some ideas as far of the sheer scale: at my facility alone, we have around 40 male inbred lines and 40 female inbred lines. every facility has this many. there are hundreds of facilities and they all mix and match inbreds. thats just my company 

2. they have hundreds of breeding programs that all strive for different things and seek out new maize varieties to keep the gene pool fresh. 

3. just like with all other things that aren’t industry and lifestyle changing (coughthatonesingularmaleinfertilefamaleinbredlinecough), things fall in and out of style. like it feels like a weird thing bc its corn but seriously, its a thing that happens in breeding because what the farmers want in their corn is always changing; they gave an example of a particularly popular variety my company had in the 90s that was the big thing for a few years. after those few years where it was like super popular (they spoke of it by numerical code and did so very fondly lol it was like two of them and they were like “aaahhhh 4919992 do u remember that one.....man what a stunner”) the farmers noticed some problems with it, got tired of it, and started buying better stuff. things fall in and out of popularity. 

4. we have the power of GMOs on our side. that means that if they have a gene in one plant thats super cool and powerful but the plant itself if lacking, they can just take it out and put it in a better, more resistant plant, and if that doesnt work they can just keep trying, or try with a better gene or trait. if the detasseling thing had happened today instead of the 1950s, they could have taken the gene out and put it in several different, more genetically diverse inbred lines, causing a little more variety than using the exact. same. females. for everything. bc thats so smart. 

basically?? we have a ton of corn. a lot of corn. just so much corn. u want tall corn?? u can choose between 6000000000 tall corn lines or perhaps u would like some mid-sized corn????? could i interest u in some corn from england??????? or japan???? or corn resistant to your particular climate or tailored to your needs???????????? please choose your corn company (there are like 500000 and they all have their own inbred lines) and then choose ur fave and change it out from year to year???????? we just got in 500000 new inbred varieties and got rid of 50000?????? its in the industry’s favor financially to keep developing new stuff, new traits, new inbreds, and new hybrids. genetic diversity is key to keeping up with new threats, and as of 2017 we’re certainly not using the same females for everything anymore. bananas are another story tho lol