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familyvideostevie · 4 months

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living high until that fatal day

a/n: i never do this. literally, never. when i'm not here i'm writing stuff that's not x reader for ao3 and this is a fic i posted over there. it's a time loop story about joel and ellie. @bageldaddy told me i had to post it here. without her this fic would not exist. thank you so much, bea. so, here we go. if you read it, thank you. let me know what you think. joel miller & ellie williams gen fic. 7.5k words warnings: Time Loop, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, kind of???, it resolves, Suicide, only in one of the loops!, Canon-Typical Violence, joel gets stuck and has to figure it out, Father-Daughter Relationship, thoughts about sacrifice and love, POV Joel, mostly, this one is kind of intense folks, major character death tag is cause well the loop ends one way or another, gonna diverge at the end, but it ends well!!! i promise, also this is pretty firmly game but hbo folks should be okay!

summary: joel finds himself stuck in a time loop of that day in salt lake city.

Joel lies to her.

He's got dried blood under his fingernails and his shoulder aches from the kick of the rifle and he's so, so tired.

But he lies to her.

If he was a smarter man he'd have thought of something better. Told her that the hospital got raided or they had a FEDRA mole, how the whole thing was a sham from the start. He doesn't know if she was awake for any of it. If the last thing she remembers is him reaching for her and failing to save her. If she remembers what it feels like to drown.

It's hard to look at her in the mirror but he manages. Just keep driving, hands tight on the wheel. Don't white knuckle, don't spook her. She's in the car. She's safe. He did it.

"We found the Fireflies," he says. She doesn't look at him. "Turns out there's a...a whole lot more like you, Ellie. People that're immune. It's dozens, actually."

There's a strange pull in his gut, a pull that he's felt a few times before in the moments before everything went south. When the soldier pointed his gun by the river, when Tess looked at him on her last day, when he fell off the ledge in Colorado. But he ignores it.

"Ain't done a damn bit of good, either. They've actually st--" Ellie closes her eyes, takes a deep breath. She doesn't look at him. "They've stopped looking for a cure. I'm takin' us home. I'm sorry."

She turns her back to him and the pull becomes a burn, becomes a black hole under his ribcage taking everything with him. He blinks once, twice, wonders if he got shot and didn't notice, if he cracked a rib and it punctured his lung, if --

The road in front of him disappears.

He can't see a damn thing -- not like the lights went out, like there is nothing to see. There is nothing in front of him at all.

Then, Joel wakes up yesterday.

___

He jolts awake with a strangled yell. Ellie kneels over him, the rifle he taught her to hold slung over her shoulder. It's just past dawn based on the color of the sky and how he can make out most of her face, her withdrawing hand and her unimpressed but slightly concerned frown.

"You were talking again," Ellie says. "Nightmares?"

Joel tears his eyes from her and thunks his head back down on his crumpled up jacket. The trees stretch high above him and he tries to get it together so he doesn't spook her.

They’re camped within sight of the highway. Salt Lake City has been looming for days now and Joel doesn't want to take any chances. The ring-road is almost clear, dotted here and there with cars and a fair amount of supplies, enough that Joel suspects people haven't been here for some time. If this is another Colorado State situation, he's going to have to put Ellie in a car and take them back to Jackson before she does something stupid.

She's fine. Well, no, not quite. Things aren't the same and they never will be but he can tell she's doing her best and he won't ask more than that. Their pace has slowed this week and he's having a hard time figuring out if she's sliding back into some sort of post-Colorado haze or if she's nervous about actually arriving in Salt Lake.

God knows he's nervous as hell.

But every day she'll walk as far as he tells her to and won't complain. He knows she wants to get there. They have to get there and it has to work -- because he doesn't know what they're going to do otherwise.

She asked him a question. Nightmares. Joel sits up and drags his hand down his face.

"Somethin' like that."

Ellie shrugs and starts to clean up their camp now that he's awake. He still hates letting her take watch, but she needs to feel in control of things, so they split it most nights. She hums a little bit as she works and he has hopes that today might be a good day.

But that dream... It comes back in flashes: the giraffes, the tunnel. Ellie hanging from the side of the bus because she jumped to save him, her small frame sinking slowly, just out of reach. The crack of her ribs underneath his hands. The hospital. The Fireflies.

Joel gets up, rolls his shoulder at a phantom pain and looks down at his hands. Crusted with dirt and nothing more.

Jesus Christ. He's losing it.

They set off.

The blue hospital sign seems to shine in the spring sun all too soon.

"This is where we get off. Let's go, kiddo."

Joel talks even though he knows she's not listening. He talks to take his mind off of the echo that sits at the base of his neck with every step. Has he told her he'll teach her guitar before? He's been thinking it for months.

Ellie trails behind him, kicking rocks and half-heartedly searching cars when he asks her to. She heads for a faded blue sedan but he stops her.

"Blue one won't open, don't bother."

The look she gives him makes him think about what he just said. "How do you know that?"

He blinks. How does he know that? Before he can explain it, Ellie shrugs and keeps walking.

The disinterest is new and it doesn't sit well with him. She's been through a lot, more than any kid deserves, and they're almost there. He figures it's worse today because of that.

"I dreamt about flying the other night."

Joel's stomach twists. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Go on, tell me about it."

She tells him about her dream, about how it felt to fly and then fall, and he is dizzy with deja vu.

"I've never been on a plane." Ellie looks at him like he can tell her what it means. Like he has any damn answers at all. "Isn't that weird?"

Joel hums and swallows the lump in his throat. The bus terminal. Ellie, drowning. Firefly after Firefly in his path. His hands flex around a gun that isn't there.

"Well, you know. Dreams are weird." It tastes like a lie in his mouth but he can't figure out why.

It gets worse when they find the bus station, when she runs off in search of something that's got her smiling. Her small hand reaches for the giraffe, her eyes bright, but Joel feels like he's watching it through a fog. He knows what she's going to say before she says it.

"So fucking cool."

Joel has seen a lot of weird shit in his life but whatever is happening here is leagues above the rest. It bumps up against something in his brain, like the answer is just out of reach but he can't fucking get there. Always a step behind when it counts.

Ellie hands him a picture of his dead daughter and something in him comes dangerously close to snapping. Instead of gratitude or sorrow or anything that would make sense, he's terrified.

He's fucking terrified because this happened. Which means he knows what comes next.

But there's no time to worry about it. They pick their way through the tunnel, through the runners and the clickers and the fucking bloaters. The pressure on his neck gets heavier, gets almost unbearable. He's strung tighter than he's been in years, like the walls are closing in on him and there's a timer he can't see.

When they get to the rapids, he waits for Ellie to get to the other side of the bus until he jumps on it but it dislodges. The dam in his head breaks and he yells, screams at her to run, to leave him, but she jumps on the bus anyway.

She drowns.

Joel doesn't doubt that the Fireflies are coming -- he hears them -- but he doesn't take his eyes off of her, doesn't stop the chest compressions until he's knocked out.

The rest of it is a blur, his sense of reality already warped by his need to get to the operating room. To save her.

Joel picks them off one by one, floor by floor, hardly taking note of how familiar it all feels. He doesn't even give the surgeon a chance to speak before he's dead, a bullet between the eyes. He knows they'll make it to the elevator. He kills Marlene. He drives them away.

He lies.

He wakes up yesterday again.

___

It takes a few days before Joel purposely deviates from what he's thinking of as the script. His head feels like it weighs a thousand pounds when he wakes in the clearing, Ellie's eyes on him.

He thinks about it as they pack up camp. Can he get them out of here? Would that be allowed? The rules of this aren't clear to him but he figures it can't hurt to try. They could turn around right now and make it back to Jackson in a week or so.

He watches Ellie carefully arrange her things in her bag, watches her stop to admire a butterfly in the branches above. He watches her and tries to see her alive and not pale on an operating table.

"Ellie," he says. "I got a bad feelin' about this."

She loves to tell him he's overreacting but today she crosses her arms and sits back on her heels. "What do you mean?"

Her scream as she falls into the water. Her ribs cracking beneath his hands. The piercing alarm in the hospital, her body warm but limp in his arms.

"What if we waited?" She frowns but he keeps going. "Went back to Jackson, rested up. Took a break. Come back in a few months with a bit of a crew. Tommy'll give us some guys, hell, I bet he'll come with if you want --"

"No," Ellie says sharply. There's an edge to her voice he hasn't heard in a long time. "Joel, shut up."

"Ellie --"

She stands abruptly, takes a few steps back. "I said no." The look on her face tells Joel he's already lost. "Are you -- are you fucking kidding me? You want to go back? Now?"

He sighs. "Just to rest up. We don't know what we're walking into --"

Ellie throws her hands around in disbelief. Her eyes look wet. Christ, he's made her cry again. He promised himself he wouldn't do that.

"We don't know if they'll still be there."

"We don't know if they are there."

"And we won't find out if we fucking run away like cowards!"

Joel stands. "I don't want another Colorado State situation, Ellie --" Her face shutters. Mistake.

"Don't bring up Colorado," she growls. "You don't know what that was like."

Damn right he doesn't. He knows by now what happened but he'll never know how hard it was for her to survive when he was busy dying on that mattress. But he has to try something or they'll just end up here again tomorrow. Yesterday. Whatever.

The idea of her suffering makes his hackles rise, makes his blood run cold

"Can I finish a god damned sentence?" he snaps. Ellie is undeterred and snaps back.

"Not if it's going to be about leaving. We-- I -- we're not fucking leaving. Not after everything. We can't."

Joel sighs and drags a hand down his face. This girl. He's trying to save her and she can't see it. There's no way to make her see it and it's his fault. She should know by now that he'd do anything, anything, for her. He lost that battle a long time ago, probably longer ago than he'd like to admit.

"I know," he tells her. "Just...if you want to give it all up, to go back, we can. We don't have to go through with this."

Ellie's eyes are blazing and her tone is disappointed. It cuts deep. "Yes we do. I thought you'd understand that, Joel."

He follows her this time as she stalks down the highway towards the hospital. No mention of six strings, no dreams about planes. They catch the giraffes but she doesn't stick around to watch them for as long. It's a different kind of loss to be without her smile, her laughter. Joel wishes he'd never opened his god damned mouth.

"I'm sorry," he says. "For earlier." Ellie pauses on the stairs and half turns to look up at him. "I know it's important to you."

She sighs. "I know you mean well." Joel closes his eyes. He knows what comes next. "But there's no halfway with this. Once we're done, we'll go wherever you want, okay?"

He plays his part for the rest of the day, just to get it over with.

___

Next time, Joel waits until they're watching the giraffes to try something different.

"So," he says. "This everything you were hoping for?"

Ellie gives him her half-smile. "It's got its ups and downs, but...you can't deny that view, though."

He seizes his chance. "Wanna go down there?"

She perks up. "Really? Do you think they'll let us get close?"

"They might. Let's try."

They manage to backtrack a little bit and end up on the field. It smells like a zoo but Ellie is thrilled to be so close so they post up on the roof of a rusty FEDRA Jeep. Two of the giraffes end up eating out of the tree right above them. Ellie holds her breath.

"They just...don't care, do they?" she whispers. "How long do you think they've been here?"

She leans into his side and cranes her neck to watch one of them use its tongue.

"Don't know," he says. "Big ones could've been from before. But the tiny one s'probably younger than you."

"So cool," she says again. "They're from a zoo, right? I wonder if anything else lives in the city."

They've been sitting here long enough that the sun has started to set. Joel allows himself to hope.

"Might be. What do you say we spend the night here and look on the way to the hospital tomorrow? Daylight'll do us better."

Ellie chews on his suggestion. "I guess," she says. "Are we safe here?"

"Should be." Joel has no idea, frankly. He sure as hell wants them to wake up here in the morning. He wants to make good on this idea, wants to show her something else that'll make her smile. He wants this to be a bizarre, unexplainable day that he'll forget about with time.

"I'll keep watch."

They set up camp crowded against the fence so Joel can see the whole field. The giraffes leave them alone and Ellie falls asleep quickly after they eat.

In the quiet open air the dread in his gut returns full-force and he knows he's wrong. Again.

A branch cracks and he whirls around, rifle in hand to find three men pointing their guns at him through the wire. They might be wearing Firefly jackets but he can't tell. He doesn't care. Joel dares to look at Ellie for a second and sees she's still asleep.

It's a mistake.

One of them follows his gaze and his eyes widen.

"Holy shit," he whispers. "She looks like who Marlene said --"

"Shut up," the second one hisses. "On the ground, old man."

"How are you gonna get around that fence, hotshot?" he says. "Ellie. Ellie, wake up."

She blinks a few times and sees his stance. scrambling to her feet with her knife in hand.

"Holy shit. What the fuck?"

"Get behind me."

One of the soldiers points his gun at her.

"Don't move."

It's chaos after that. The guys shout at each other.

"Don't point it at her! Don't you remember the fucking briefing?"

"You hadn't even joined when we got here, you don't know. We've been looking for her for months --"

"If you shoot her we're all dead --"

Joel locks eyes with Ellie.

"When I say run, you run. Okay?"

The fear in her eyes turns to determination. Brave girl, he thinks. I'm sorry. He waits for the idiot pointing at her to look away and takes a deep breath. What's one more day?

"Run!"

Joel doesn't check to see if she obeys before firing through the fence. The rifle is incredibly powerful at such a short range and where there was once a head there's only mist. Joel clears the chamber as fast as he can and gets the second one in the shoulder but he's not fast enough for a third and before he realizes it he's on his back in the grass.

The Firefly's assault rifle litters Joel's chest with bullets but he doesn't feel it until he tries to take a breath and nothing comes. It's like he's underwater.

At least he didn't make her cry this time.

Joel isn't much of a believer in anything but he decides fairly quickly that he's in Hell or something close. God knows he deserves it.

His sins are countless, his ledger dripping with red just like his hands. They will never be clean. What he can't figure out is how he got here. Did he die somewhere in St. Mary's? Is the real world somewhere else beyond his reach, now? If he died then what happened to Ellie?

He tries to make tallies in the bark of a tree on the edge of camp but they disappear every time he wakes up. He makes do with his own slowly unspooling brain. Two, five, ten.

Ellie is much the same every time but somewhere around day twenty she asks him about it. "How do you know where everything is?"

They're in the bus depot before the tunnel. He's taking them quickly around the tents, putting off Ellie handing him a photo of his dead daughter. It's muscle memory at this point. A pair of pliers here, some rags there. A half-empty but uncracked bottle of hooch behind that blood-stained bed, some bullets under that overturned partition.

"Just payin' attention."

"I pay attention!"

Joel uses the excuse to grin at her. It's hard sometimes to remember that she has no idea what's coming, that he can and should be good to her every chance he gets. The violence has already started to blur together in his mind. Killing everyone in the hospital is by far the easiest part of this fucking loop. These parts are harder.

"Didn't say you don't."

"I feel like that was a double negative."

She's still energized from the giraffes and he knows she's working up the courage to talk about Sarah, but right now he wants to spend time with her. He spots the Firefly medal tangled in the shattered floodlight and points it out.

"Ellie," he says. She's at his side in seconds, looking up at him with eyes brighter than he's seen in weeks. "Wanna get that down?"

She gives him her classic why are you like this look. "Are you going to be weird and pick it up?"

Joel shrugs and leans on the rotting tank nearby. "Just want to check your aim."

"My aim is really fucking good and you know it!" Even so, she picks up a brick from her feet and palms it, eyeing the silver circle before winding her arm back and hurling the brick towards it.

She misses. Maybe three hundred miles and a trail of dead bodies ago she'd have stormed off, embarrassed and pissed. But she just makes a face at the still-swinging medal and then looks at him. "How did I miss that?"

He pushes off the tank and scoops up a glass bottle. "Sun s'probably in your eyes." Joel stands next to her and eyes the target, trying to compensate in his mind for her height. "Stand here." Ellie moves over in front of him and he hovers his arm over her. "Can I?"

She nods. Joel presses the bottle into her hand and she takes it as he maneuvers her with a hand on her elbow until she's got the trajectory he thinks will work.

"Now?" she asks. "Feels pretty fucking similar to what I was doing."

"Just trust me. Throw a little lighter than last time. And higher."

Ellie sighs, but once he steps back she does as he says and nails the medal hard enough that it drops to the ground. She whoops and turns around, hands high in the air and a wide smile on her face. Joel tries to breathe through how easily she puts her faith in him.

"Fuck yeah! Did you see that?" She holds both hands out for a high five and he obliges.

"Sure did. Nice job, kiddo."

When Ellie hands him the picture of Sarah, he pulls her in for a hug. He half expects her to shove him off but instead she allows it, twisting her hands in his shirt as he cups the back of her head.

"Thank you," Joel says quietly, thickly.

Later, when he finds her on the operating table, he presses his lips to her forehead for an extra moment before picking her up and heading for the elevator.

He messes with the order of things a little bit. Tries to make their morning last longer, tries to stay watching the giraffes for an hour or so.

Sometimes it works.

Sometimes it doesn't.

Watching Ellie drown over and over fucks with his head more than the hospital does because he can't stop it. At least while he's leaving behind corpse after corpse he knows that she's asleep upstairs, waiting for him. In the tunnel, he knows that the only way out is through, but she has to fucking drown first.

He gets sloppy.

He forgets about the runners in the side rooms when he ducks in to avoid a clicker and takes a step too close. Ellie is behind him as always and he shoves her back blindly as three runners slam him against the metal railing of the stairs before he can reach for his gun. He's too surprised to feel anything, but their breath smells like rotting meat and something worse, something that makes his eyes water.

Joel searches the room for her and finds her -- pale-faced and terrified, already reaching for her knife. He tries to say her name but it comes out as a scream when one of the runners goes for his shoulder, jagged teeth ripping through his shirt in an instant.

"Ellie -- run, Ellie -- GO --" He begs her to leave him but his voice stops working as his throat is ripped out. The last thing he sees is her horrified face as she raises her pistol.

And then he wakes up yesterday.

___

It occurs to him on day 30 -- if he's keeping track accurately -- that he's got one of the smartest people he knows at his disposal. Kid's got an encyclopedic knowledge of space as well as science fiction stories. He asks her while they're still on the highway, stalling though he can see the blue H sign from here.

"Y'ever read stuff about time?" No reply. "Ellie?" She's staring at that deer again. "Ellie."

"What?"

"You read any stories about time back in school?"

"Uh, sure," she says. She tugs her sleeves over her hands and catches up to him, eyes on the ground. "Why?"

"Saw a weird movie 'bout it once. Somethin' reminded me of it this mornin'. Guy gets stuck in a...shit, what did they call it?" Joel peeks inside an RV and smells rot so he leaves it be. "He lives the same day over and over."

"A time loop!" Ellie sounds more excited about this than anything they've talked about for days. "Those are so fucking cool. Scary, though. I feel like I'd go crazy."

Joel drags a hand down his face. "Yeah," he says. "How do you think you get outta one?"

"Well, how did the guy in the movie do it?"

"He stopped bein' an asshole," he says. Ellie laughs.

"Well, we know that's not possible for you. Guess you're fucked."

"Guess so," he mutters.

The H sign is close enough that she'll see it any minute. He wishes for the hundredth time that they could just stay out here all day, just talking. If he had a guitar he'd play for her. If he had a fucking car he'd put her in it and turn around, even though it wouldn't do any good. They'd just end up right back here because he can't fucking figure out how to get out of this.

"I think you just have to change, right?" Ellie says. She's looking at the photo of an airplane on the bus. This time she doesn't tell him about her dream. Is he losing pieces of her, already? "I guess it doesn't have to be about yourself. Maybe something you do, or something you say. It's the universe telling you to make a different choice, right?"

That's the fucking thing. The choice isn't an option. It's not even a choice.

The one thing he hasn't tried and will not try is leaving the hospital when Marlene tells him to. He'd rather die a thousand times, rather live this shit show over and over for the rest of eternity than let them cut her brain out. They will not touch her while there is still breath in his body.

He'd do it all over again. He will.

Joel tries a hundred things and they don't work.

After his conversation with Ellie he decides to really fuck with the day. Doesn't matter, right? So long as she's not put in any extra danger he considers it. He begs her to walk away, get on his knees and pleads with her throughout the day. Doesn't work. She just gets pissed at him like that first time and he doesn't push it because he can't bear to see her cry. He lengthens their morning in the clearing, fakes sick or says the rifle is jammed and needs cleaning. That goes south, too, when a pack of runners wanders through the woods and straight into them. They make it to the highway and have to miss the giraffes because they're running.

One time Joel spends all day zig-zagging them around the city to avoid the tunnel. The Fireflies find them much the same way except they shoot him on sight and grab Ellie right out of his arms as he bleeds out on the cracked asphalt, her screams echoing in his ears.

Another time, he ties them together in the tunnel with some fraying rope and they both drown.

Killing Marlene early gets him a bullet in the head and not killing her at all gets him back where he started, no change.

Joel even begs the doctor to run more tests first, to try blood, to try anything, but it takes too long and the alarm sounds and he's cornered in the operating room before he can grab Ellie and go.

Nothing fucking works.

But what is there left to change?

His mind starts to fray. He loses count of the loops and it becomes hard to detach himself from the slaughter. Not even the good moments -- Ellie's laughter, the awe in her face when she sees the giraffes, her jokes and her muted but still sharp sarcasm -- keep him afloat. He's lost, adrift in a sea of blood and bullets and it starts to eat away any humanity that was left in him.

The blood of hundreds, thousands maybe, is on his hands and he feels nothing.

Once and only once does he get there too late. Everything else goes like it always does but maybe he took too long on the first floor, maybe he took too long picking the guys one by one instead of using the assault rifle, maybe maybe maybe.

When Joel gets to the pediatric ward he knows something is different -- he can hear a buzzing sound, something loud and unnatural. The stale air is thick with something metallic, tinged with death. The buzzing stops and he finds his feet glued to the floor outside the operating room. Voices on the other side of it, murmuring and the clink of metal on a tray. Joel's hand shakes when he reaches for the knob because he knows whatever he finds on the other side is going to kill him.

But he opens it because he has to. The doctor is at the sink this time, the nurses nowhere to be found. Ellie's body is covered in a sheet, blood seeping through the fabric. Joel looks away. He just stands there, his heartbeat loud in his ears as the world ends.

The first time his daughter died, Joel thought he could will it not to be so. He held her as long as he could, whispered her name with her blood drying on his hands until Tommy begged him to get moving.

This time, he knows it's true and he knows there's only one ending.

He raises his gun at the doctor who is now leaning on the edge of the sink. The door swings open and the nurses return, eyes wide and vibrating with the energy of a job well done. He swings over to them and kills them both with quick headshots. The doctor has barely turned around when he's dead, too.

Joel breathes, ears ringing. He manages one step closer to the operating table but his knees buckle and he goes down hard on the cool tile. His vision is blurry. Is he crying?

"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm so fucking sorry, baby." He angles himself so he won't get any blood on her and then presses the barrel of his gun to his temple and pulls the trigger.

If Joel was on the edge of losing his mind before, now he's laser focused. He doesn't pull any more shit. He settles back into the loop, savoring Ellie's laughter with the giraffe and gunning down every sorry motherfucker in his way at the hospital. He will not get there late ever again.

So when Marlene says something different the next time around and he almost misses it.

Ellie is dead weight in his arms but she's warm and he can see the rise and fall of her chest. The hospital was messier than usual because he rushed this time, cutting down the Fireflies like it was his last stand. There's blood in his hair and crusted under his fingernails and his shirt is beyond ruined.

"Are you going to tell her what happened here?" Marlene presses her hand into her side, blood leaking from around her crimson palm. "Are you going to tell her what you did?"

He lies to her.

Every time.

It's never occurred to him to try something else. Even though he's changed almost everything about this damn day except that.

Because Joel knows what happens if he tells the truth. He knows what that will cost him.

And he doesn't know if he'll survive it.

He's afraid. Joel doesn't want to lose her and if that makes him selfish then so be it. He wants to take her back to Jackson and give her a bedroom of her own and as many stupid comics as she wants and three meals a day for the rest of her long, peaceful life. He wants her to grow up and grow old.

He'd kill a thousand more Fireflies to make it happen.

He'd damn the whole world.

Because he loves her and it fucking hurts.

This girl and her puns and her comics and her god damned bravery and her bleeding heart. He doesn't want to lose her.

But is this, whatever this endless hell is, is it fair to her?

If it's breakable, if he has the ability to get them to tomorrow, to get them to Jackson, to get them home, shouldn't he? If he loves her shouldn't he give her a life even if he's not in it?

Joel gently arranges Ellie in the backseat and shoots Marlene in the head.

For a few seconds Ellie thinks she's in the car on the way into Pittsburgh. The hum of the old engine, the rocking motion of the truck. But -- wait. She's lying down. The car smells...musty. And she's cold like she's wearing a dress and --

"What the hell am I wearing?"

She flutters her eyes open. Different truck. Backseat. Is she in a...hospital gown? What the fuck? Where is she?

"Just take it easy," Joel says. Okay, so she's with Joel. Something in her chest settles. She must be safe. "Drugs are still wearin' off."

Drugs? Ellie pushes back into her memory and tries to find something, anything that'll give her a clue as to what's going on here. They were in the bus tunnel. The water was rushing, Joel jumped on the bus and it started moving and she...fell into the water?

It's a blur after that. More of a blank, really. Did they get to the hospital? Did they find the Fireflies? Based on her weird fucking outfit it sure seems like it.

"What happened?"

Joel's eyes flick up in the rearview mirror to look at her. "Let's get you into some clothes, first. Then we'll take a break and I'll tell you everythin'."

He sounds tired. More tired than he's ever sounded, frankly, but she can't imagine why. And he can't seem to stop looking at her like she's going to disappear. Like he hasn't seen her in ages.

"Okay," she says slowly. "Where the hell are we going to get those?"

"Your bag is on the floor by your feet." Joel veers off the highway down an exit ramp and Ellie sits up. Her head feels light for a second and then really heavy so she braces her hands on the seat in front of her and takes a few deep breaths. "You okay, kiddo?"

"Yeah. Fucking...drugs, I guess. What'd they do that for?"

"They ran some tests. We'll talk about it."

Normally she'd push him but something feels off. Ellie tries to get a good look at his face but she can't, not from this angle, and not with her head fucking pounding like it is. She's missing so much time. It makes her skin crawl, makes her heart race. Joel is here, she tells herself. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to her.

He parks them at the edge of a cemetery and gets out of the car to stand guard while she changes out of the gown. Her last pair of jeans, apparently, and a grey t-shirt with a few holes in the collar. She wishes she had a sweatshirt or something to wrap around herself, to pull over her hands and feel covered. But beggars can't be choosers. At least someone put her shoes in her backpack.

Joel doesn't turn around when she opens the door but she sees him stiffen.

"I'm done." He looks back at her and she finally sees his face. "Jesus Christ, Joel, what happened to you?"

It's not just the blood. Sure, he's got dried streaks of it on his neck and in his hair. Ellie glances at his hands and sees it crusted under his fingernails, too. But he looks wrecked. Older, somehow. He looks like something terrible happened, the way she remembers his face when he fell from the balcony in Colorado, when he found her in the burning restaurant. But somehow it's worse.

He's looking at her like he can't believe she's real.

"Alright." Joel lowers the rifle and ignores her question, clearly. "Didn't see anythin'. Should be fine to sit here for a bit."

"Are you going to tell me what the fuck happened?"

He moves like he's going to drag a hand down his face but thinks better of it. "Yeah," he says. "I am."

Ellie swings her legs so they're hanging out the door. Joel leans the rifle against the truck and crosses his arms. "You're making me kind of nervous, man."

"Just...promise me you'll hear me out to the end."

Yeah, something is going on. She doesn't like it.

"Uh, sure."

"What do you remember?"

Good fucking question. "The tunnel. The bus and -- water. I fell in, right?"

Joel nods, clears his throat. "Jumpin' on the bus was dumb. Don't do that again."

She snorts. "Yeah, okay. Point taken. But I was afraid you were going to drown!"

"You did." He delivers the news in a flat tone she doesn't like. She drowned?

"Are you serious?"

"I got us out of the water and tried to get you breathin' again." Ellie realizes her chest is sore. She imagines Joel doing compressions like they showered her in school, imagines his panicked face, his hoarse voice calling her name. Fuck.

"Did it work?"

"No," he says. "Fireflies found us first and knocked me out."

"That doesn't make sense." She frowns. "They knocked you out?"

Joel shrugs. "Just tellin' you what happened."

This isn't how she imagined it would go. She never told Joel, but for weeks she's been thinking about waltzing up to the hospital and telling them who she is. She pictured Joel telling her jokes while she got her blood drawn, pictured him staring down nurses and doctors while they made the cure. She figured it would take a few days, maybe a week, and then they'd be on their way back to Jackson. She had hoped Marlene might be there, too. She has so many questions about her mom.

"What did they do with me?"

Joel looks troubled. "I...don't exactly know. It was a while before I saw you again."

It makes her skin crawl. He must be able to tell because he keeps talking. "I'm sure they just ran some tests while you were out. They brought you back, made sure you were breathin' okay."

"Tests?"

"I'm gettin' there." She feels like he's having a hard time looking at her. Something close to but not quiet dread sits heavy in her stomach. What happened?

"Joel..."

"I woke up inside the hospital. Marlene was there. Told me they didn't know it was us, that they'd been waiting." He pauses, drags a hand down his face. "You didn't wake up or nothin'? You sure?"

Ellie shakes her head. She doesn't remember anything after the tunnel.

"Well, she told me they could do it. They had a doctor who could make the cure."

The air rushes out of Ellie all at once. "Are you fucking serious?"

"And then she said..." Joel chews on his words and looks away from her. He looks angry.

"What did she say?"

"Makin' a vaccine...would've killed you."

The bottom drops out of Ellie's world. It's like a hundred doors in her brain open at once.

It would have killed her? Are they sure? Did they do enough tests? Were they going to? Why didn't they wake her up? Were they going to ask her? How did they get out?

She swallows them all and manages just one in a broken whisper. "What did you do?"

Joel looks right at her. "I stopped them."

If Ellie wasn’t already sitting down she thinks her legs would give out. She knows that Joel meant what he said to her in Silver Lake. Knows that he'd do anything for her.

But this?

"What do you mean?" He shakes his head. "Joel. What do you mean, you stopped them?"

His shoulders slump. "They told me to leave and I refused. And I made sure no one can follow us to try again."

Static builds in her ears. She can read between the lines. She speaks Joel now. He killed them all, that much is clear to her. He killed them all, Marlene, too, probably, because she was supposed to die to save the world. Hot tears sting her nose and gather at the corner of her eyes.

"But I -- but we -- I was supposed to...I'm the cure!"

"You're a person. You're a kid. Don't matter what's in your brain, you ain't dyin' for --"

Ellie pushes out of the truck and to her feet. Joel steps back to give her room but she knows he probably wants to touch her, to reassure her. The anger fills her, makes her face hot and her heart race.

"Who said you get to make that choice? If they said I had to die maybe I should have? Then it would mean something --"

"Your immunity ain't the thing that matters most. You are. So I picked you," Joel yells.

She's really crying now, huge heaving sobs that make it hard to talk, make it hard to convey how angry she is. "Well, you picked wrong, asshole."

"I ain't gonna apologize for it. I'd do it all over again, the exact same way. Every time." Joel's expression is as serious as it gets. He used to look this way all the time. No nonsense, no room for argument.

She tries to find the words anyway but they don't come.

"Now, you've got some options here," he says. "I think the best one is for us to go back to Jackson. I know Tommy'll take you in, and --

She laughs, or tries to.

It sounds like something bitter and awful to her own ears. First he tells her she was supposed to die today and now he wants to leave her?

"Are you fucking serious, Joel? You want to leave me again?"

Joel's brows pinch together. He looks pained. Good. It feels like her chest is caving in, like her lungs aren't working right anymore. This must be what it felt like to drown in the bus terminal, to sink slowly, to fade away entirely. She read once that drowning was supposed to be peaceful. This hurts.

"I want you to be safe," he says. "Jackson is the best place for that. I don't have to be there if you don't want me there --"

"I didn't fucking say that!" she yells. "I -- Jesus, give me a fucking second, okay?"

He stands by the door as she paces back and forth, tugging her hands through her hair.

She was supposed to die. But she didn't. There's no cure. And it sure fucking sounds like Joel didn't leave any option to try again.

He traded saving the world for her.

It's too much.

"What do you want, Ellie?" Joel sounds like he's been awake for days. Like he's in pain, like he's being hollowed out. He sounds like how she feels.

She digs the heels of her hands into her eyes.

"I want none of this to have happened! I want us to go back to this morning and I want us to not have gone into the bus tunnel and I want you to have asked for tests first, I want them to try something else. I want Marlene to tell me why they didn't wake me up. I want to do it again but differently, I want things to be different, I --"

Her words break off into a sob. "Ellie..." She opens her eyes and finds him reaching for her. His shirt is stained with dried blood but she steps into his hold and his arm wraps around her.

"I don't know what to do, now," she whispers.

Joel exhales a shaky breath. "I know you wish things were different. I wish things were different. But they ain't."

They stand there, his hand dragging up and down her back. She listens to his heartbeat and remembers those nights in the basement when she thought it would stop any minute.

"Fuck," she whispers, then pulls away. He lets her go. "Fuck, Joel."

He sighs. "Yeah, kiddo. Fuck."

He told her the truth and that means something. It hurts, it hurts so bad, and it doesn't absolve him of anything, but that matters.

"I'm so angry with you," she says. "I don't know how to forgive you for...for...saving me."

It sounds stupid as she says it but Joel nods solemnly.

"That's alright."

"But I..." She wants to get this part right. "Let's go back. To Jackson. We'll figure it out there. But you...you have to swear to tell me the truth. Just like this. We have to be honest with each other."

Joel meets her gaze without blinking. "I swear."

Ellie takes a deep breath. The anger, the horror, the disbelief at what he's done settle a little bit. She has no clue what comes next, but this is a start.

"Okay."

Joel wakes up.

His back hurts and his shoulder aches. It's dark, darker than it should be, darker than it's been for hundreds of days.

Ellie is asleep in the backseat of the truck.

It's tomorrow.

thank you for reading. let me know what you thought!

#the last of us fanfiction #i dont know how to tag this #the last of us #bea this is your fault!

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kaiowut99 · 3 months

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youtube

A Special Announcement~ | Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V Tag Force Special Re-Translation Project!

I've been itching to get around to posting about this for a few months now, but wanted to wait until I'd worked on enough for it, but also had the idea to create an announcement trailer to go with it for added good measure--after recording and editing clips for a couple weeks and leveling the audio last night, heremst we are! (For some clips, I forgot to turn off the PPSSPP emulator's DevMenu option so that shows up in the top-left, buuut I didn't feel like re-recording those, lmao.)

Details worth reading below the cut here, but tl;dr work has been in progress for over a year in between things, work will continue to be in progress for a while, and the release will happen when everything's ready, but stay tuned, fun's getting started etc etc~

So, I'm sure most of us are familiar with the as-yet-unlocalized-by-Konami TFSP, the seventh and last entry in the Tag Force series on the PSP that came out early in ARC-V's run (featuring the first five series which was a cool first), as well as the current translations out there originally worked on by the guys at XenoTranslations (omarrrio and ScrewTheRules/ClickClaxer01 at GBATemp handling the card and story/etc translations, respectively) and how there are... some issues with what's out there. Everything from the DM story mode being loaded with YGOTAS references (no shade to YGOTAS and much respect to LK/Martin for his ongoing work on it still making me laugh sometimes, ofc) to the off-the-cuff edginess of 2014-2015-era internet culture and the problematic (in some cases, derogatory) language that permeated it--though to its credit, some parts do have some level of translation attempted, but taken as a whole, it can definitely turn people off from giving the game a try and seeing what it brings to the table (which is still a good amount despite the corners Konami cut here/there compared to prior TF games).

I actually did attempt a translation of my own back in 2015 (if you've been following me for a long time, you might remember it lol), tackling the GX story text starting with Judai's heart events, but eventually put it on the backburner as I focused more on my GX subbing work and beginning to finalize everything (which I'm still doing). Sometime in 2022, a friend over on NeoArkCradle (the "anonymous YGO fan" in the opening screen) was poring over the story text and patching it up the best he could to remove the references and inaccuracies with more coherent work, and after a while of seeing what he was working with in the Discord, I was a bit blown away by just how inaccurate much of it was--so alongside him, and using the better tools available since then (including some really awesome work from both nzxth2 [who did a proper re-translation of 5D's TF6 not too long ago and was kind enough to release his tools for it] and our coding helper Xan1242 who we eventually reached out to for some help), I decided to *cracks knuckles* get involved and help give everything a more accurate and professional translation, much like I do with my GX subs, working directly off the Japanese text and files. I've been taking cracks at everything in between the GX episodes I've been finalizing going back to at least last January (and I'd used my little hiatus after finalizing GX Season 2's subs to really get at some other stuff throughout the game), starting with re-translating DM's story text but also properly translating other aspects of the game, from the character names (using the original Japanese names, including those of the TF-exclusive characters, partly since Konami made a whole mess of them in English TF1-5), in-duel dialogue, pack descriptions, and more to images with Japanese text (such as localizing the in-duel cut-in onomatopoeia as you see in the video above, or other little images throughout) using some Photoshop skills I've picked up. And it's been a joint effort, as said NAC friend and I have been bouncing off how we'd like to see this go between us to stay on the same page and all, while also checking with other translators there for second/third opinions as needed.

Our plan is to release two versions of a translation--one which uses the OCG [translated] card names in Story Mode, in-duel, and other text but not in the game's card system (mainly to deal with story-relevant notes like Osiris vs Slifer with the Gods or things like not-Utopia Hope being symbolic between Yuma and Astral, akin to how I do my GX subs), and one which uses the TCG card names in everything (like how the official subs go about it). While we're mostly working with the Japanese game files due to how the Xeno team went about decoding everything, we'll be using the card-system-related files from the fixed ISO provided by FLSGaming which fixed some issues that had been present there. And Xan has helped us with a plugin that will be used to apply our translations to the system files that were hard to edit otherwise (things like the character and recipe names, as well as the pack names pulled from for the Card Description screen), but more on how that'll work once this is ready for release, lol. At some point, I'd like to also look at HDifying textures and things, but that's definitely a bonus-level thing for after the main work here is done.

SO.

Currently, Story-Mode-wise, I've gone through everything up to Yusei's events--so Dark Yugi/Kaiba/Jounouchi/Ishizu/Mai in DM, Judai/Manjoume/Asuka/Misawa/Ryou in GX, and Yusei in 5D's have been fully retranslated, though I took initial cracks at Yuma and Yuya's events to get content for this video lol (I've also been intentionally holding off on as much ZEXAL as I can until I've properly watched the whole show so I have context). I haven't tackled overworld text yet, though (like pre-duel or the tournament-related text, which is all in the same file as all the story text). I've also been handling the in-duel dialogue as I go through the character stories, so also just up to Yusei, though I did take initial cracks at Aki's, Yuma and Shark's, and Yuya and Yuzu's for the video.

Other things tackled that were sprinkled into the video, along with some other notes:

Pack names and descriptions have been retranslated, though the descriptions may see minor edits closer to release for a little variety between worlds given the different characters at the shop. Character recipe names were also retranslated, with Yugipedia's translations for them used as an occasional second opinion, though ones based on pack names had to be abbreviated in spots.

Menu text, from the Options to Help screens and stuff in between, has been retranslated, as have in-duel text strings (so, you'll see a full "Activate Effect" instead of "Activate" or "Switch to Attack/Defense Position" instead of "Switch to ATK/DEF Position", etc--also fixed the "BATTELE PHASE" graphic typo, and NAC friend created a new translation for the "Turn Change" graphic for accuracy since ENG TF1-5 made that into "Next Player's Turn").

Database stuff, such as the Sound Test, Tutorials, Duel Missions, etc., have been retranslated closer to the Japanese text; originally I retranslated the Tutorial text via hex editor, with compromises done on quite a bit of it due to the space limits, but as Xan recently updated a text extractor tool of theirs to more cleanly pull out and reinsert that text, I've been going through and fleshing out those translations more (on my commutes to/from work mostly, to be productive lol).

As mentioned, I've been localizing/translating Japanese-text images throughout the game as I come across them, like with the in-duel onomatopoeia that come up during cut-ins or images in the shop/duel/etc screens using Japanese text, to make sure the game is fully translated.

The series logos, used during the title sequence and in the Series Select screens, were updated with translated fan edits shared on Deviantart (which we'll credit in the final release) for DM and GX, while the 5D's-ARC-V logos were edited to enlarge the "Yu-Gi-Oh!" text on them that was pretty hard to see originally.

The game's original opening sequence starts on an anti-piracy message before going into the Konami logo and then a "From Yu-Gi-Oh!..." screen before the opening animation for each series logo--the original team decided to use the first image to vent their frustration at Konami for not localizing this game, and while that's valid (to some extent), we thought we'd use the opportunity to dedicate this project to Kazuki Takahashi for inspiring our love for YGO and the place it's had in our hearts for all these years.

We'll be updating the names of cards that had TCG releases after the original patch was worked on/updated by FLSG to those corresponding names.

Xan has been working on many UI fixes for us to apply with this, among them 3-line dialogue box text as is used in the ENG TF1-5 games--once implemented for TFSP, I'll be going over everything to make full use of that extra space where needed, so things might not look as they do in the video by then.

Character bios will be worked on after I've done the story stuff, though I've taken initial cracks at it for Yuma and Yuya's bios for the video, along with translating the location/affiliation names ("Domino High School," "Satellite," etc).

Currently no release date is planned, as I'm working on this between my GX-finalizing work and actual IRL work, though we'll see how later this year looks as more work gets done--but as noted in the video, all things being equal, it will be released when everything is ready. I'll try to post regular updates or rambles now that this announcement's been made, lol, but do try not to constantly check in on a release date. 🙏🏽

All that said, I think that covers just about everything I wanted to put out there with this, lol. It's been fun to work on this so far and getting to see what I've re-translated in-game is definitely neat; looking forward to us being able to release everything when ready.

Stay tuned for more; the fun's just getting started!

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bird-likes-to-fandom · 6 months

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why do you dislike michie? /genuinely curious

cracks my knuckles. I'm so glad you asked, dear anon!

First and foremost, I want to say that I'm big on "do what you want forever" when it comes to fandom, even if I hate a certain ship. Just because I post about hating something (because it's my opinion and I can also do what I want forever), doesn't mean I'm gonna police or attack people who love it. I have like 4 or 5 mutuals who like michie! I'm completely fine with others liking it, it's just not my thing and since you asked, I'm gonna tell you why.

Hello! If you're going through the npmd tag and reblogging this post, please reblog the version with the readmore. I meant to put one here the first time and apparently forgot! I'm sorry.

I've tagged this post with "anti michie" for tag blocking purposes.

I don't understand it at all. Max is a vicious, vicious bully, who terrorizes Richie and his friends for literally no fucking reason. He's constantly on a power trip and he enjoys it, and no matter what his home life is like, I don't think that justifies his actions. It doesn't justify his actions. The entire school lives in fear of him, the entire school has physically or emotionally felt his wrath, even his so called "friends", Kyle and Jason. Hell, Richie says he used to not be able to even open his locker out of fear. If Max hadn't died, and if he had genuinely worked on himself, the absolute MOST I could see between him and Richie is a shaky acquaintanceship. I don't think anyone would want ANYTHING to do with him for a very long time, once they knew it was safe to not suck up to him.

I don't understand how people can watch the Nerdy Prudes Must Die song and scene and think it's mutual-love relationship material. Richie's death is genuinely haunting, even only the parts we see of it. Richie is sobbing, begging for his life, and Max taunts him, and you think that's fluffy? And reminder - we don't actually see Richie's real death. We see Max about to strike and laugh maniacally before the lights go black, but at the beginning Bailey says Richie was purple-nurpled and swirlied to death. At the beginning and in Richie's death scene, we hear Max calling out for him, toying with him like predator and prey.

A lot of people make ghost Max out to be nothing that he is in canon, a lot of people make him a goofy guy who is just mildly annoyed by Richie's and Ruth's ghosts. And while canon Max has his funny and silly moments, it's important to remember his actual character and what he represents - a figurative and literal monster. In fanon, people erase all of Max's bad traits, which is what his entire character is meant to be. He's not some dumb himbo, he's a bully. He's meant to represent a real thing that hurts and even kills real people. It's a disservice to take that from him.

I've seen certain Michie works put emphasis on Richie being the one to forgive Max, and not Max taking the long road to work on himself, when in reality it is NEVER on the victim to forgive their abuser. Even if Max works on himself and redeems himself to the best of his ability, even if he gives Richie the most sincere apology in the multiverse, Richie does not have to forgive him. He does not owe him that. And I don't think Richie would forgive him, at least not for a long, long time.

And also, if you want to ship Richie with someone who needs a little redemption, Jason Jepson is right there, and it's a way more probable ship than Michie ever has the capacity of being.

#but again this is just my opinion #do what you want forever #also like. richie is one of the most excited to give max what he deserves with the plan #and you're telling me richie 'mission accomplished?' lipschitz would like max? really?#npmd #bird likes to perch on the mailbox #anti michie #richie lipschitz #max jagerman

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wizard-finix · 2 months

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Ao3 tag game!

THANKS @ragecndybars FOR THE TAG I APPRECIATE IT

*cracks knuckles* lets do this

How many works do you have on AO3?

24 works! I would have never expected to have that many 5 years ago, hahaha

What's your total AO3 word count?

186,291! oh wow, almost 200k!! (unsurprisingly PT minato takes up over a third of that LMAO)

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

10 fandoms! I'm counting Persona 3, 4, and 5 and separate, but I'm grouping all the Zelda fandoms together since it's all Linked Universe fic.

Here's the breakdown!

The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms (6)

Persona 5 (5)

Persona 3 (5)

SPY x FAMILY (Anime) (3)

Wizard101 (Video Game) (3)

SPY x FAMILY (Manga) (3)

Runescape (Video Games) (3)

Pirate101 (Video Game) (3)

Persona 4 (2)

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom (2)

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga (1)

Star Wars - All Media Types (1)

The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Warriors (1)

Top five fics by kudos:

The Ghost of Mementos/Stygian Ringlet (Persona3/5) - to the surprise of absolutely no one, since this is currently my longest fic. I'm very happy with Stygian Ringlet being the top because I love my boys :)

True Crime Special on the Midnight Channel (Persona 4/5) - my Ren has a TV Dungeon fic! also very proud of the dungeon concept for this one, I really need to finish the last two chapters

Dark Clouds on the Horizon (Linked Universe/TOTK) - I feel like this one got a lot of momentum partially because it was directly in the wake of TOTK's release, but I'm happy with how it turned out :)

Strangers Are Just Friends You Haven't Met (Persona 3/SPY x FAMILY) - this was a collab series with mewrose and a few others in the marigolds discord! we were throwing ideas at the wall to see what stuck and I really had a lot of fun with Shinjiro-related prompts, because I LOVE him and hitting him with the isekai baseball bat into a universe with Anya brings me great joy

Salt Tears and Raindrops (Linked Universe/TOTK) - directly related to Dark Clouds, and I'm glad people enjoyed good ol' fashioned angst >:) (I do need to post more of my wips, I do have a couple more roleswap AU wips that I want to post)

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I almost always do because I really appreciate them and its my way of saying thanks for the comment! If I don't comment it's because I lost track of it or because I can't think of a response.

What's the fic with the angstiest ending you've ever written?

Probably Salt Tears and Raindrops. I was in a Mood and decided to go for the tried-and-true method of putting fictional characters I like through the emotional wringer. That's how I got the rough draft for this fic :)

Do you write crossovers?

*looks at my persona fics and recent LU fics*

...I think it's safe to say most of my fics these days fall under crossovers lmao

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

I wouldn't say I have? One or two comments that came off as rude, but no actual hate, thankfully. If I did, I forgot about it. I've been blessed by wonderfully nice readers <3

Do you write smut?

Nope. I don't read it, so I wouldn't know how to write it anyway.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of? I sure hope not.

I have seen a couple short fics slightly imitate Ghost of Mementos though, which I thought was really sweet that they liked it enough to inspire their own writing.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but I'd definitely be open to it!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

RYOMINA. Hands down. I love them so much, I am so mentally unwell about these two

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

My two Runescape fics, Whispers in the Temple and Welcome to the Jungle. I absolutely loved going hogwild with rewriting old quests in Runescape, but I psyched myself out of Welcome to the Jungle because I got overly anxious about accidentally doing bad representation.

(in hindsight, it probably wouldn't have been as big a deal as I thought; it's hard to make it worse considering how bad Legend's Quest was with the british-african stereotypes. that quest DID NOT age well.)

I also want to finish Snake in the Grass; that was my first attempt at a genuine mystery plot and I really liked playing with Warriors in that fic in the context of the gang trying to figure out who the heck is trying to murder him.

What are your writing strengths?

I feel like I'm pretty good at dialogue! I try to make sure it matches the character's speech patterns and personality. Really well-written dialogue can tell you who's speaking without actually telling who it is. (For example, the way I write them: Minato speaks as few words as possible and has very little filter with his observations when he does share them, and Shinjiro is pretty rough around the edges, with shortened words and the occasional swear. Warriors is good with words and wit, but he has a certain military-esque directness and doesn't dance around the topic.)

I do try hard to keep the plot clear and understandable over everything else, so probably that as well.

Also, now that I think about it, maybe fight sequences? I don't do them much, but I do enjoy the challenge of making a clear sequence of what happens in a fight and trying to make it understandable. Fight sequences are easy to skip or gloss over, but I think of them like their own miniature plot. What happens? What surprises are there? What are their movesets? How do they get the upper hand? (and of course, what looks cool as fuck)

What are your writing weaknesses?

Time management. I tend to over-proofread since I beta my own work, and often I'll go back to tweak stuff if I had additional thoughts to add to it, or extra insight. Lately, it takes longer to write chapters than I'd like.

Also, dialogue-heavy scenes often get very chaotic in my WIPs because of the way I rough out fics. I'll throw together a bunch of dialogue bits I think would be cool to include, and sometimes they'll clash or get really messy, especially if there's lots of characters (looking at the latest two chapters of Stygian Ringlet)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I think it's cool! It adds flavor to fics. If it's more than one short phrase though, or if it's story important, then I do prefer that there is a translation in the author's notes. I haven't done any non-English dialogue in fics, save for one memorable adventure into trying to figure out how Latin grammar structure works for a character that didn't speak English.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Wizard101 and Pirate101. I was obsessed with those two for YEARS. I really, really liked pirate stories in high school, and having a cast of crewmates that accompany you throughout the game really inspired me to write my first fic featuring my OC. (I was also into One Piece at the time, but I never wrote for it.)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

Stygian Ringlet. It's really dear to my heart. I have poured so much love and effort into that fic, and the reception on it has completely blown me away.

THANKS FOR THE TAG!! Uhhhmmm for tags I'm going to go with @skyward-floored, @catreginae and @breannasfluff (but only if you want to!! no obligation of course)

and of course any other writers that want to do it as well!! go forth

#cici speaks #tagged #tag game #my god this is long if you read this I salute and respect you

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anxresi · 1 year

Text

…Isn’t it a bit late for April Fools Day?! 🤡🤣

I was going to just write a few snarky remarks in the tags, but fuck it… I have a bit of time on my hands right now, so let’s tackle these somewhat disingenuous statements one at a time shall we? Starting from the one in the top left hand corner, and working our way anti-clockwise around… *Cracks knuckles*

1. Yep. SO nice in fact, she doesn’t have any other noticeable character trait. ‘Niceness’ by itself doesn’t make you an interesting, intriguing or compelling character… it just makes you boring. In fact, I’m gonna have to work pretty damn hard to finish this off before I nod off just thinking about her… 🥱

2. …And this is a GOOD thing? It just proves how much the writers were DESPERATE to make her Chloe’s replacement they rushed virtually everything to do with her, including her rapid induction to ‘Hero’. Most of the other Miraculous users had to wait AGES to get their chance, and Lil Miss Perfect just turns up in Paris and gets her chance virtually the first day. It wasn’t earned, it wasn’t believable… it was just handed to her on a silver platter because… reasons. 😩

3. So what? This is just yet more evidence that this girl, a TOTAL STRANGER up to S4 is all of a sudden being treated like the queen of all Mary Sues. Just listen to all the endless shilling about her from the rest of the cast (especially Marinette and, more depressingly Plagg) Now imagine them said in Thomas Astruc’s voice as he lays his case against Chloe… and everything should become clear.

4. This means virtually nothing. Everyone gets their Miraculous permanently at the end of S5, so the fact she gets her’s 5th is just down to a quirk in sequence. If anything, I’m surprised she didn’t get it sooner… in another gratuitous ‘Take That’ to diehard Chloe fans… 😬

5. I don’t even have anything to say about this.. it calculates the precise sum of 0.00% in terms of her worth of a character. You got anything better?

6. Oh, you mean the same acting ‘skills’ that she used to manipulate her sister into pretending she ‘loved’ her and to carry that useless charm about?The thing is, everyone might’ve SAID her talent was great in that AWFUL Queen Banana episode… but it actually wasn’t. Just because the other characters say she’s the next Sophia Loren, doesn’t mean the viewers don’t have eyes and ears. But I guess if they’re stupid enough to fall for Lila’s incredibly obvious lies when the plot demands it, anything’s possible…

7. What, you like her colorful shoes? This is possible the only one I’ll grant you (they ARE pretty snazzy) but at the end of the day, they’re just pointless aesthetics. Anyone else could be wearing them, and the garish colors can’t blind us to her all-conquering mediocrity. Moving on…

8. Here’s a hint: NEVER use the word ‘objectively’ when the opposite is clearly true. She’s not just ‘sweet’, spending time with her is akin to being pinned down in Wonka’s chocolate factory being force-fed candy by all the Oompa-Lumpas until you literally explode. Not a pleasant experience in other words, thanks to the writers laying this sole facet on with a literal trowel and shovel.

As for the ‘sass’ part… nope, not seeing it. Unless you mean the occasional scene when she ‘deals’ with her sister… these parts were obviously only put in to throw red meat for the Chloe-hating sheep out there could hoot and holler at the screen (probably waking their parents up in the process) whilst screaming “SEE? THAT’S WHAT YOU GET!!” Well, I hope you’re happy now. You hapless lame-o’s.

9. Mary Sues don’t get ‘character assassinated’. They get bigged-up, cheered, given every resource in the show to be Da Best… but NEVER wrecked in that manner. Her sister, on the other hand… 😢

I would argue though, that what she is, is WORSE than character assassination… she’s an individual that never should’ve existed in the first place. In fact, I’d barely even describe her as a character. A plot device, a waste of space, a product of Thomas Astruc’s inexplicable raging hatred against Chloe maybe, but not a serious character. As the popular meme goes, Change My Mind (you won’t).

10. …You’re REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel now, aren’t you?

Besides, this hasn't even been confirmed yet. We don't even know anything about the elusive Mr Lee, or even what he might think about his daughter being forcibly adopted by the Mayor. Something which I'm sure a show of such grandiosity and ambition will go into at great length.. Nah, just kidding!

Next, you’ll be telling me that somehow her sexuality is another reason to think she’s the best thing since sliced bread…

11. And there we have it (sigh). How terribly predictable. 🙄

I’ve already done a whole post thingie about how her being a lesbian and having a short-lived crush on Marinette was just imposed to get unearned brownie points from underrepresented communities when they won’t actually do anything with said revelation, so I’ll keep this short. Sufficed to say though, I feel like starting a hashtag… #TheGaysDeserveBetterThanZoe. Get it trending, peeps! 😎

12. Whatever you’re smoking, can I have some of it? This is crossing the line from ‘delusional’ to ‘crazy’ now. She’s remained as static as a statue since her opening episode, has NO room for change and growth due to the fact she was only brought in to replace Chloe and in that uncomfortably dull niche she’ll stay. Sorry, but just because you wish that she’d had any kind of interesting development doesn’t mean she has. Facts have a funny habit of getting in the way of the truth.

13. In turns of ticking boxes for diversity, French-Americans aren’t exactly a high priority IMHO. But sure if you think that makes her the bees knees (pun intended), you go ahead and celebrate it. 👍

14. So in conclusion, I do agree that Zoe Lee is indeed ‘Best’ character… (hears sharp intake of breathes all round) oops, I’m sorry. What I meant was ‘Pest’ character… in that just having her buzzing about in all her flawless Mary-Sue glory makes you just wanna reach for the bug spray.

You know, like you would for a pesky wasp during a delicious picnic. Because she’s Vesperia, get it? 🤪

The only upside to this sad situation is, from what I can tell (being strictly a non-watcher these days, you figure out why) the writers half-agree with me.

After all for such an 'amazing' character who's apparently achieved so much in her short time in the show... why is she barely featured? They must know, somewhere down deep in their artistic brains, she's a narrative dead zone.

A collection of tiresome off-the-shelf quirks, traits and spare parts (someone here said she was like a bad fanfiction self-insert... ABSOLUTELY RIGHT), loosely held together with visible stitching and hastily assembled together like Frankenstein's Monster for the most cynical of reasons.

She has no arguable reason to be in the show, apart from being a far inferior replacement to the potential mine of character development that someone like Chloe could've represented.

I guess Thomas really does hate complex characters who may overshadow his precious Marinette... or school bullies who traumatized him so much as a lil kid he specifically wrote someone into his show he could subsequently and systematically destroy (as the rumors go... but it wouldn't surprise me with THAT guy).

Now I’m off to bed, but let me end on at least ONE positive note for this much-maligned individual: She’s EXACTLY the kind of character a show like Miraculous Ladybug deserves… and if you like her, you deserve her too.

Now, good night. 🌝 🛌

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #ladybug #chloe bourgeois #ml salt #ml #marinette dupain-cheng #disney #Zoe #zoe lee

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

Note

HELLO IT IS I AGAIN (Razor's mom /real)

So you know those imposters aus where characters chase the reader for being an 'impersonator'?

What if... It's a continuation from my ask (where we meet Razor first before everyone), and Razor is just confused at the patrolling knights near Wolvendom constantly asking him if he have saw 'the impostor'

Tbh he just shakes his head. Who tf is the impostor????? Wtf is an impostor???????

Many question marks later..

He had encountered an epiphany (not really it's just the Springvale ppl talking about someone copying the creator's looks).

The 'Impostor' they have been searching is you.

But you're not an impostor! Razor knows it! Andrius knows it! And with how the nature and the monster responded to you, Teyvat knows it too!

So like the good son he is, he sheltered you even more severely.

Ur not allowed to go out of his sights at this point (he'll still take you to places with many lampgrasses if you still wanna make a crown w it)

And my imagination ends there, do you think there's something else he'd do?

Ty for answering my last request btw, ur the best and I hope you get your favorite characters w one 10 pull and your desired artifacts w the best stats <3

Much love and sweets

-Razor's mom

RAZOR'S MOM!! HELLO aw im so glad u liked it :)

Srry about the late reply! 💜💜💜

Ok, so I think this is a good time to point to my shiny

Writing Requests/About Me Post I have pinned on my 👉 blog!!👈💅 taaa daaaa :) i did it guys here ya go

Yall have been GREAT so far abt keeping the requests chill and fun, and i dont have that many "Donts" that arent obvious (homophobia, transphobia, ableism,etc)

♡

Dont worry Razor Mom, i just wanted to use this as a way to talk about this!! /nm /gen

♡

About Imposter AU, there are plenty of other blogs/posts that write for that or posts under SAGAU tag! :)

I said wayyy earlier on in some of my first asks, but basically I really want to lighten up the Genshin SAGAU / Isekai tag and branch out from all these darker Imposter AUs :)

And also add more world-building posts or AUs <3

(language brainrot for example)!!

◇

TL;DR: I am not accepting hunting down/yandere/cult au/imposter au Genshin Sagau, only a funny or chill version of it.

Please check my writing rules post :)

Example: u look like Creator, but everybody's like, "oh lucky them wow rlly blessed, have a free drink, etc.

OR omfg where r they?? They descended to Teyvat oh fuck we lost our god-"

♡

Heres the Razor post !!!

If u wanna check it out :]

Cracks knuckles, Saddle up Baby, bc its time for my version of the Imposter AU 🤭😋😈

(and sorry for answering super late/possible scare Razor mom anon!! :'/ )

♡

So it begins rlly small right?

Like, Razor does not know the new knight patroling Wolvendom's borders

,, weird but ok, he thinks basically

And then when it was time to visit some domains a little closer to Springvale for grinding

(Or rlly just to get some of their tiny restaurants homemade food yumm)

He notices more Favonius knights lurking around than usual

Or at least widening their patrols

And hes like wtf?

Ur like, huh.

I'll ask Springvale ppl wtf goin on

The locals respond that the search for the Great Creator has begun.

...

...you and Razor: 👁👄👁 w h o m s t ❔️

◇

Upon further questioning

(which was apparantly weird that yall didnt know, but eh, u just used the whole "feral wolf child with feral blacksmith parent living in woods ignorance" excuse)

Admittedly yall, quite literally, live under a rock lmao

They explain theres a whole ass prophecy

Abt how the Great Architect would succumb to a long slumber somewhere else in the vast universe after making the planet.

And when the time is right, they will reconnect to Teyvat, and awaken, and descend in a mortal form

(like the archons)

◇

..but the kicker is nobody knows wtf they look like bc:

1. All that lore is hella crumbly and old, and very hard to translate

2. Mortal forms sometimes look different than god forms, so even if they did know some defining features of the Creator, that wasnt guaranteed to be them...

◇

(i.e. they will have brown eyes, well. Thats a fuckton of ppl with brown eyes innit? 💀)

♤

So thru certain signs, that this mysterious prophecy wooooo

Said would happen, the nations of Teyvat and their many supernatural inhabitants are aware the ultimate god has descended

(The crops flourished? Animals got more wily, many of the sick ppl got better for no reason, the Irminsul started regrowing/filling out its base- like how it looked like a lightning struck tree rn 💀)

So every country are now trying to find them to be the first to welcome them home

Needless to say its lowkey a competition

◇

Meanwhile you and Razor are just:

... (゜▽゜;)

"Haha yeah cool..."

(Andrius already told u what u r to Teyvat and explained to Razor)

Ur both immediately slapping a cloak on u and keeping the hood up all the time

Yall dont wanna be seperated :(

Ur both paranoid for diff reasons,

Razor's just scared his Lupical is going to be taken from him again bc there r better, more refined humans wanting to be ur Lupical ;-;

And ur like-

Omfg that sounds like sm work 💀

While its nice to daydream abt what itd be like to be famous, realistically,

U could not handle that shit.

People crowding you all the time?

U cant just look busted anywhere u go, like a midnight snack run

Ppl would also expect u be,

Responsible??

To act like a competent ruler maybe???

Hell no.

U just wanted to play a pretty gacha game and spoil ur skrunklies

(At least, if they do wanna call u that, they dont make u do anything political 💀 but u doubt it)

◇

Needless to say, Razor is glued to ur side everywhere u go.

A domain a half mile away? Oh he'll come with dw

Ur gonna go stop by that food merchant further up the road for ingredients? Cool he'll sniff the best ones!

Ur going to see Andrius??

Oh he needed to see him too-

😭😭🥺🥺 poor babe

♧

Surprisingly enough,

Or maybe not his house is right tf there

Diluc is the first person to actually recognize you.

Razor had been subtly steering u away from Mondstadt for 3 weeks now, ever since yall talked to the Springvale locals

An u cant say u didnt notice, but u werent rlly stopping him

You wanted to be like Venti, chillin among the ppl regardless of ur powers, not the Raiden Shogun :/

And maybe shock some ppl who dont know ur a god like him too lol

◇

Diluc had been looking around the lesser patroled areas of Mondstadt to search for the Architect

He didn't even need those incompetent knights to tell him their god had finally descended

He already saw the signs long before Mondstadt

Bc youve been in Wolvendom, the area has flourished over time, more fish in the water, more game to hunt and bigger, crows making circles in the sky despite there being no corpse

And one of the closest places to you,

Is the Dawn Winery.

Diluc's security against Venti began to hold up better, the staff didn't have to clean as much things like dirt or weather damage to the manor,

His hawk had never been faster delivering his letters, he almost thought the little guy had been drugged with something

◇

He patroled Stormterror's Lair, and deep in the woods surrounding the manor that the knights hadn't bother to go into

Afterall, he figured you'd never had a mortal form before, so u were unlikely to fend for urself for very long in the woods lol

so he wanted to find u quick (aww softy :')

He even made a trip out to the Thousand Wind Temple and Dragonspine (he did report that one to the knights, he didn't want Amber, Bennett, or Creator-forbid Klee, being the few pyro users to have to explore it)

Finally, after doing the further away locations, siginificant in history and rich with leftover magic

Diluc figured that's where you might land first, so he saved Wolvendom for last

It would at least let him check on that wolf kid and maybe get to talk to him long enough to ask him if he's seen anything unusual.

The lord of Dawn Winery manor heads into the Wolvendom woods, just as sunset colors the trees...

◇

It was a Friday evening, the sun was setting, the weather was pleasant and it was time for all of the Lupical to come together and eat a big feast!! :)

About once a month, Andrius will come out for a few nights and dine with all of yall

Hes an old wolf give him a break, he takes long naps

So u cook lots of Mondstadt favorites to eat on and a few Liyue dishes too

Razor, ur favorite helper, has helped u finish the last dish and is now romping around with the puppies bless <3

U guys have dragged ur coffee table dining table setup out to sit and eat at

Andrius lets out a not too loud, not too quiet howl, and as the wolves, Razor and you lmao join in

Yall dig in, bones flying everywhere, spagetti noodles flingling around, it would put toddlers to shame lol

◇

Diluc hears a howl that is too... big to be a regular wolf.

It filled the air of Wolvendom like no howl before it, as he used the glowing lampgrass to help light the path deeper

He sneaks past a hilichurl camp or two, all fast asleep

He scans the woods, and figures he'll search the woods besides the path after he gets to that old stone carved pit-

Food?

Diluc sniffs the air, and squints deeper into the forest

The black branches shade the way ahead, but just barely... he can see the flicker of orange and blue light?

He summons his claymore, bracing it on his shoulder, and creeps into the treeline to better hide him

◇

You swear to god (dammit swear to.. you??) someone is watching you.

You look around the piles of fluffy doggos, happy and stuffed full they r slowly forming puppy piles

Andrius is finishing his meat platter, also sitting on all four legs on the ground

Razor is splayed on his back beside you, eyes closed, his feet sticking out the other side of the table, u chuckle at him

But not a single Lupical seems to be looking at you.

Gulping down your last few bites, you scan the treeline

U refuse to be that bitch in a horror movie where their gut says smth is off and they brush it off or barely look at their surroundings

Turning around to the treeline behind you, u see something... red fur?

U sit up some more, peering over the bushes at the bottom of the trees

You meet a pair of warm brown eyes, widened like they're just as shocked to see you

As u notice his familiar red high ponytail (but also not?? Its weird going from 2D to 3D and still recognizing bitches)

U peer down at his chest, as he carefully stands out of the foliage-

That familiar star shaped button that u can press for the character menu screen, the same thats on Razor, on Benny, on Fischl, on Lisa-

Hovers over Diluc's chest.

◇

Diluc is in the bush, observing the human(???) stranger (he really doesnt want to attract the attention of that.. giant spirit wolf thing)

The figure sitting at a ... table?? (He can barely process all these absurdities at once, hes only got so much brain space)

Has sensed his presence, and as he grips his claymore, ready to demand answers,

Razor startles, and jumps up, smelling the pyro user, he summons his weapon-

The figure locks eyes with him, and all he sees is gold.

Diluc drops his claymore.

☆

♡

☆

Have a cliffhanger bc idk 🤷‍♂️ Also srry it wasnt exactly Mondstadt finding u, and it somehow turned into a whole scenario?? Idk man

🤧 welp i hope that was decent Razor mom! Tysm for ur sweet feedback abt our beloved son 🙏💜🐺

Feel free to always talk again, thru comments, asks whatever!! :D

♡

Cheers,

💀♒️

(guys im so stupid i coud've been signing off with this simple emoji combo the whole time,, 😭i didnt actually think abt emojifying my name, just making it look pretty with some of my fav emojis... 😔)

If anyone reads this u should let me know which one is better lol

💀♒️

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

OR like a combo???

♡my beloved♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

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sergeantsporks · 1 year

Text

Aroace Hunter Week Day 1: Cosmic Frontier/Space

“Hunter?”

An answering groan came from behind the couch, and Gus leaned on the back, peering down at Hunter. ��You finished, huh?”

One hand reached dramatically for the ceiling. “Need… more… Cosmic Frontier… books…”

“Yeah… that’s the last of them, buddy. There are no more.”

“Where’s the author? I’m going to demand he publish another.”

“He’s like, old now.”

“So’s Eda, that doesn’t stop her from doing crazy stuff.”

Gus wiggled his eyebrows. “What if I told you… that there’s a whole internet worth of Cosmic Frontier books? More than we could read in a lifetime? And we don’t need to commit crimes to get new content?”

Hunter sat straight up. “I’d say you’re lying. Go on.”

“It’s true! Luz was telling me that she used to write a lot of what was called ‘fanfiction’ for Azura, where she continued storylines, or made up entirely new ones with the same characters! And she just put them online! For free! For anyone to read!”

“You can do that?! Just make up content?! Without being the original author?”

“Apparently! And I bet there’s some for Cosmic Frontier!”

Hunter launched himself towards the stairs. “What are we waiting for?! Let’s go!”

Gus scrambled up the stairs with him, going all the way up to Luz’s room. “Luz can we borrow your computer, it’s super important, we need to find Cosmic Frontier content this instant.”

Luz rolled her chair to her desk. “Oh my gosh, I’ve been waiting for this moment. Welcome to my realm. Here.” She pulled up a webpage. “Library of Our Own is a good place to start, they have a good filtering system so that you can take out any search results you might not want to read.”

Hunter took her hands. “Luz. I don’t think you understand. I will read. All. Of the Cosmic Frontier content. That I can find.”

One of Luz’s eyebrows went up, but she shook her head, handing him the computer. “Alright, then. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Thank you. We will return your laptop in three to five business days.”

Hunter grabbed the computer and headed for the door.

“Wait, I’ll need it before then!”

Hunter and Gus ran back to the basement, rushing to the couch. Hunter cracked his knuckles, holding down the Shift button with one finger and using his index finger to hit the c. then o. then s. Gus groaned.

“Ohhhhhhh you type so slooooowwwww.”

“I am making sure I spell it correctly, Gus.”

F… r… o…

Gus reached over him, typed in the remainder of the word, and hit enter.

“Over one hundred thousand,” Hunter whispered, “One hundred thousand books for us to read, Gus!”

“What did I tell you?! What’s the first one, what’s the first one?”

“Uhhhhh Intergalactic Relationships. Oh, I bet it’s a political setting! Uhhhhh, let’s see, Avery/O’Bailey, awesome, has our favorite characters in it.”

Gus peered at the tags. “What’s slash mean?”

“Probably there’ll be an assassination attempt or something.” Hunter clicked on the link. “I know I read faster, let me know… when you’re ready to…”

He slapped a hand over Gus’ eyes.

“Hey!” Gus tugged at his hand. “Hunter, what—let me go, what is-?”

“How do I get rid of the tab—where’s the back—LUZ,” Hunter howled, “YOUR LIBRARY IS A DEN OF INACCURACIES AND CHARACTER SLANDER!”

Gus managed to wriggle out of Hunter’s grasp long enough to take a look at the words. “Oh. Oh.”

Hunter slammed the laptop shut, hiding the offending fanfiction from view. “SLANDER,” he yelled again. His ears and face flushed a bright pink, “CALUMNY!”

“Avery and O’Bailey would never,” Gus protested, “That is so out of character! They were like…” he waved a hand. “You and me! We’re Avery and O’Bailey!”

“Exactly,” Hunter agreed, “Exactly. And plus—plus, plus, romantic and intimate relationships between crew members of differing command levels are forbidden to make sure relationships are aboveboard and not nefarious! It’s not allowed! LUZ!”

Hunter stormed up the stairs, and Gus chased after him. Luz rolled around on the floor of her room, clutching her sides and laughing.

“Luz! This isn’t funny! People are just out here posting the most—most outlandish stories that would never happen in the real Cosmic Frontier! I mean, relationship aside, even just the level of description-!”

“Thats—” Luz gasped, “That’s the—it’s the—the—point—of fanfiction!”

“Well—Hunter sputtered, “What if I—what if I wanted to just—to just—to just make Captain Avery kiss a swamp frog?! What if I—what if I made O’Bailey not a clone?!”

“That’s an important part of his character!” Gus protested, “You couldn’t!”

“Oh—oh—” Luz sat up, hiccupping. “Haaaaaaaaaaaaa. You could if you wanted. Fanfiction doesn’t have to be exactly like the original book. That’s the point! You can do whatever you want.”

“Well, I don’t want to read… to read… Avery ex O’Bailey slash!”

“Wow. You picked a winner for your first one, huh? Okay, okay, give me the laptop.” Luz opened the computer back up. “People can write what they want.”

“It’s not in character,” Gus complained, “They’re like family.”

“Burn it,” Hunter agreed.

“Alright, alright. But that’s the author’s decision, not yours. So, instead of freaking out… look here. See how I can exclude certain things? I’m going to exclude ‘Avery/O’Bailey’ aaaaaand… sort and filter. See?” She turned the screen back towards them. Intergalactic Relationships had disappeared. “Now no fic that has that relationship will be in there, okay?”

Hunter squinted at the screen. “That’s… a lot less.”

“Well, you picked a popular ship to hate with your whole heart and soul. Good luck.”

Hunter scrolled through the fics. “This will. Still keep us… oh, are you kidding me? This is another lower-ranked crewmate with Avery! And one with O’Bailey and a new recruit called Y/N?! Luz, why are there so many of these?! They’re not allowed! In the Cosmic Frontier universe!”

“They might explore that in the fic, actually, forbidden romance is a popular trope. Look, if you want to see some no-ship, platonic content, maybe you should just write some yourself? Finding it here might be hard.”

“I do want platonic family content. We can do that? But we’re not professional writers!”

“Neither is anyone else on this site. Well, some of them might be. But mostly not. Point is, anyone can write Cosmic Frontier fanfiction. If you’re struggling to find the content you want, you might just have to make it yourself.”

Gus tugged on Hunter’s sleeve. “Remember the other clone that broke free like O’Bailey, then got killed protecting Avery?”

“Yeah, 78. That was… really depressing.”

“Okay, hear me out, hear me out.” Gus spread his hands out. “We make up a way for him to have lived!”

Hunter brightened. “And he can be secretly working to take down the clonemasters, just like O’Bailey is!”

“Then we can make him meet up with the crew, and he can join the family!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! He can take the oath! And then it can be about him figuring out all of the dynamics between the crew and learning to be a part of a family that isn’t like the clonemasters!”

“Right! I think there could be a lot of conflict where he still kind of thinks that Avery is like a clonemaster, but eventually, he realizes that O’Bailey and Avery are actually friends and brothers!”

“Yeah! Let’s do it!”

“Okay!” Gus snatched the laptop from Hunter’s hands. “But I’m going to do the typing.”

“Fair enough.”

#aroace hunter week 2023 #day 1: cosmic frontier/space #toh #the owl house #aroace hunter #toh fanfiction #toh hunter #hunter wittebane #luz noceda #gus porter #my writing

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starburstfloat · 1 year

Text

The Inescapable (and Comforting!) Queer Lens of Moonlight Chicken and The Eighth Sense

I've watched quite a few BL series over the last few years, but something that's struck me (and others I've noticed from tumblr discourse!) is how two recent series Moonlight Chicken (Thai BL) and The Eighth Sense (Korean BL) both embody not only characters and a plot that centralize on real queer experiences, but also a distinctive lens that makes them so achingly and relatably queer that it would be a disservice to not dissect and analyze!

(Please bear with me as we tackle some foundational background info *cracks knuckles* so--) The lens is a really cool means to understand a piece of media because it's an artistic approach from the filmmakers to show us the world through a controlled perspective. The lens has a certain focus (also dubbed focalization). In Looking in: the art of viewing, narrative theorist Mieke Bal describes focalization as the relationship between point of view in a story alongside the vision/meaning that the observer consumes of said pov. So not only does the lens convey certain emotions, but it's the observers (aka audience watching the show) who add additional meaning to it.

This relationship gets really interesting to look at when you consider that traditionally a lot of BL has been created for straight women as a sort of fetishization of gay men (I'm generalizing here, but consider a lot of BL that feels like a straight couple dynamic).

But with these two recent series, the lens feels different. It feels like it's been filmed not only in a way that conveys queerness, but for a queer audience. This focalization creates a really special dynamic between the media and its relatability. It's one of those things where I feel like you just have to be gay to understand it, and that's probably why so many of us have found solace in these two series!

For these two works in particular, there's an undeniable focused aesthetic examination of how queer people see the world and interact with it. There's an artistic emphasis on how one's queerness is inescapable and omnipresent, and how it paints our character's world.

Let me stop rambling and try to show what I mean.

In Moonlight Chicken, this omnipresence is observable in the way the characters Wen and Jim meet in episode one. Wen gets drunk at Jim's restaurant, trying to stall on going home to his ex. The way the camera work plays out during this scene perfectly captures how queer people find and recognize one another without having to overtly express their queerness. Consider the first conversation they have after closing hours of the restaurant: the lens is focused on how subtly they are drawn to each other. There's the wide shot of both of them sitting and talking, something that may be dismissed as nothing more than a two-person shot, yet the way their bodies take up so much of the frame welcomes us to notice their body language and how open they are to one another. This, coupled with the alleyway shots later that cut to individual close ups of their faces, sometimes briefly scanning the other's, a mixture of hesitancy and recognition shaping their reactions, is so queer coded!!! Like!!!!! Hello??? I love how it all culminates to Jim saying "I don't have a wife yet...I'm sure you know my preference" like LMAOOO my dude.....it's been more than obvious but I'm glad you're saying it out loud.

I guess what I'm getting at here is that the way this has been filmed is so beautiful and comforting because it depicts how queerness is inextricably tied to how we process our world. It's in the way we instinctively tag others as being in or out of the community and find solace in that recognition, all while teetering the boundaries of our attractions and carefully assessing a situation to see whether the feelings are mutual, misinterpreted, or if it's safe to express who we are.

Moonlight Chicken manages to embody all of that in the most mind blowingly subtle ways across ALL OF ITS CHARACTERS!!!! I've never encountered any other show like it - it's simply stunning, and it's set the bar way too high now.

We also witness this comforting queer lens in The Eighth Sense. So far only two episodes are out, but the way this show has been filmed is already so much more mature, graceful, and emotionally relatable than most other BL shows I've seen. And again, I think this is because the filmmakers have utilized a lens that conveys how queer people see and interact with their world in a way that other BLs have failed to accomplish. The narrative focus is so strongly centered on our protagonists living in a straight world while they navigate and (in Jae Won's case) want to hide their queerness.

Here, the queer lens resides in the way the camerawork establishes a sense of evaluation and hesitancy. It's the way the camera lingers on how Ji Hyun shrinks a bit when the surf instructor lady jokes "you came here cause of the pretty girl on the poster didn't you?" or the way we get close up shots of Jae Won's annoyed face as he demands his friends stop asking why he broke up with his ex girlfriend. As a queer audience, these subtle clues are just so relatable. It's a reflection of our own lived experiences, of bottling up our inner selves and constantly having to monitor our reactions and behaviors in a straight landscape.

These shows aren't just giving us gay characters who Meet Cute and fall in Love and deal with some turmoil and live happily ever after - they are filmed in a way that forces us to see and be seen.

And I can't get enough.

#there's still so so much to say about both of these shows #but consider this a preliminary brain dump #tagging this under #rebecca should have minored in film studies or queer theory #moonlight chicken #the eighth sense #queer theory #film analysis #media analysis #여덟 번째 감각

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sigmaswaist · 29 days

Text

Write my name when i’m gone? - Tanizaki Junichiro Angst

Tags: Major Character death, graphic depictions of violence, ftm Tanizaki Junichiro, uncannonical transgender character, ability usage, deadnaming, grief, discussions of death, Atsujuni if you squint

Summary: Junichiro knew his name would never be his, he just hoped that when he died someone would write it for him. unfortunately that writing came to soon.

dividers by: @𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘺

A/N: help i didnt beta read this

Junichiro lay panting and sweating on the training ground floor, Atsushi’s panting mirroring his own as the tiger boy laid down next to him.

“Hey, Atsushi-san?” Junichiro swallowed thickly as he looked over at the boy, his body aching from gruelling training for their next mission.

“Hm?” Atsushi hummed as he took a sip of his water. Junichiro sat up, his eyes distant.

“when i die… can you write my name for me?” Atsushi looked at the boy with a startled expression, his worry painting panic in his sunset eyes.

“Tanizaki-san!! don’t talk like that man!” Atsushi lightly punched the ginger’s arm. Junichiro gave a solemn smile to the boy as he worried, but leaving it at that as they headed into the dorms to ready for the next mission.

• • •

“Tanizaki!! We need you in there!!” Kunikida called over their earpieces, it had only been a few minutes since the mission had started, but it was all hands on deck nonetheless.

“Yessir!!” Junichiro ran in without hesitation, activating Light Snow in a heartbeat, he gave an invisible look towards Atsushi as he ran past where he and his partner had been fighting.

Junichiro sent his snow variant towards his target, even with his variant sneaking to ‘attack’ the target he knew it would be spotted, Junichiro had been hiding with the edges of light snow to strike. “An ability user?~ Oh this will be fun~” a creaky voice rang out through the warehouse as junichiro stilled. he had only had eyes on his target. he felt like an idiot as he scanned for the voice.

Junichiro watched as his clone had been shot from high, a sniper then. how annoying. “Kunikida-San.” Junichiro spoke quietly, sending another varient from the walls of Light Snow.

“Junichiro? have you captured your target?” Junichiro eyed the rafters of the warehouse, looking for the glint of a scope.

“No sir. there’s a Sniper here… i don’t know where from, light snow may not be hiding me.” Junichiro cursed as a bullet nearly struck him as it hit his variant.

“Shit- Junichiro stay there, i’ll be there in a moment.” Junichiro gave an affirmative as he went after his target with a leap, easily knocking out the nearly caught unaware man. It was just then when he had felt a sharp pain in his thigh. Junichiro yelled in pain as he felt it. Activatimg light snow to the maximum output, successfully hiding himself from all angles.

“Kunikida-san, i’ve been shot, looks like it- fuck- Kunikida-san it hit my artery-“ junichiro backed himself into a better view of the entrance.

“Fuck! Yosano-sensei we need you in the warehouse asap!!” Junichiro heard Kunikida’s footsteps draw nearer he only hid them both from above. “Kid?! shit hey i’m here.”

Junichiro held onto kunikida tightly as the blonde man supported his head and held his hand, “Hey Kunikida-san…” Junichiro felt a strong headache come on as he breathed laboriously.

“Idiot! if there is a sniper in a building you leave the building! don’t go and capture the target!!” Kunikida’s voice betrayed him as his voice cracked, his face only painting worry and anxiety.

“but i- i did good right? i got ‘em… just like you taught me.” Junichiro smiled weakly as the pain flared, his face contorting and white knuckle grip tightening.

Kunikida’s face softened as he held Junichiro gently, silent tears rolling down his face. “Yeah… Yeah you did great Junichiro, I couldn’t have asked for a better student.” Junichiro felt his body go cold as the panic set in.

“Kunikida-san… I’m scared.” Junichiro held onto the detective with a dying grasp.

“Hey, Yosano-sensei is going to get here and patch you all up.” Junichiro and kunikida both knew that was a lie, she had been fighting her own target and had been all the way across the fight, she wouldn’t make it in time.

“i don’t wanna go Kunikida-san!! i want to be here with everyone still! someone has to pick up Atsushi-san’s broken pieces!” Junichiro started to cry as it became harder and harder to feel anything, his breathing uneaven, laboured and panicked.

Kunikida gently held Junichiro, his eyes sad. “I know Jun.. i know you’ll make it i promise- stay with me kiddo..”

“I’m cold..” Junichiro shuddered as his heartbeat started to fade, holding onto his mentor’s hands weakly.

It hit them both then, Junichiro wouldn’t make it, Yosano was still too far away. Kunikida held Junichiro tightly.

“Hey Kunikida-san…? Take care of everyone for me okay..?” Junichiro shivered as he started to lose consciousness.

“I promise.” Kunikida Doppo watched as Junichio Tanizaki took his last breath. Kunikida Doppo was unable to save another person. Kunikida Doppo was unable to save the boy he saw as a son.

Three weeks later Junichiro Tanizaki was buried. He was buried as ‘Juriyin Tanizaki.’ there was always an ‘X’ over Juriyin, and a prominent ‘Junichiro’ over it. And tiger fur.

#blue writes 📖#bsd #bsd tanizaki #tw // major character death #tw death #tanizaki junichirou #please reblog with better tags idk what im doing

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celestialulu · 1 year

Note

Tell me your nalu headcanons or I WILL start biting <3

*cracks knuckles* this is going to be a LONG post

(And most of these are self indulgent but I tried to keep them as in-character as much as it can be)

(A lot of these are also really random)

here we go:

-Lucy writes ambiguous love poems to vent about her feelings for Natsu (not a story or anything too obvious because she knows Natsu will go though and read her stuff)

-one time she accidentally left one of her poems at the guild and it spread around and Natsu kept bothering her about it and she was mildly annoyed at first but then she sorta hit her limit and stormed off home for the rest of the day

-Natsu realised it was probably a sensitive topic but he just really wanted to know who she was writing some ambiguous sappy love poem for (not that he knew that much about what it implied because he isn’t that smart enough to decode the fancy words)

-He sheepishly apologised the next day and Lucy told him not to worry and she just said she’s not ready for anyone to pry about any sort of feelings towards anyone and they carried on as usual (Natsu still felt really bad after though)

-everyone in the guild knew who the poems were about BUT Natsu of course because obviously he’s quite oblivious (both of them are)

-Lucy reads a lot of romances novels (not to anyones surprise) and usually makes people jump because she’ll squeal and get up to start walking around to contain herself when the smallest interactions in the book happen

-and usually Natsu is the one who gets surprised the most often because they hang out the most he thinks somethings happened when she does this and at first he thought something had happened but then he got used to it and now he knows it’s a normal thing she does

-Sometimes she imagines her and Natsu as the main character and love interests in romance novels and gets flustered imagining certain scenarios happening with her and Natsu that happen in the book

-Natsu and Lucy have a lot of inside jokes

-Once a bunch of people in the guild played mafia and when they were both mafia they got caught out because Lucy couldn’t hold back her laughter when it was silent during the nighttime portion of the game and her and Natsu were just looking at each other in silence

-Also during a different mafia game they were so convinced that the other was a mafia member and kept bickering but turns out neither of them were mafia

-Natsu LOVES getting praised by Lucy but even for the smallest things like,, he didn’t totally cause mass destruction on a job and Lucy praises him for it he gets soooo happy

-Lucy is a good singer but HATES to sing in front of people and she usually only sings on her own but due to the habit of Natsu breaking in he’s the only one who’s really heard her sing

-He thinks she’s a good singer but says she’s tone deaf to mess with her

-They do not sleep normally when in the same bed no normal spooning or cuddling up against each other they SPRAWL across each other and Natsu especially sprawls out across Lucy but if Lucy’s especially tired from the day she’ll be the more clingy one.

-Lucy used to be a terrible cook when she first joined because obviously she had all of her meals cooked for her but now she’s pretty decent and cooking and cooks for Natsu and Happy quite a lot

-Natsu bought Lucy a set of earring for her birthday and she wears them constantly and when Natsu noticed he couldn’t stop smiling and Lucy asked what was wrong with him and he just shrugged her off but he was secretly so giddy about it.

-They have a lot of matching outfits and accessories because they actually shop together a lot because Natsu and Happy tag along with Lucy to most places

-She insists on buying Natsu and Happy stuff and Natsu tries to convince her not to but she usually ends up doing it anyway

-Natsu doesnt really compliment Lucy on her looks a lot because he thinks that it’s obvious that she’s pretty

-Natsus favourite thing about Lucy is a lot of things but he especially loves that Lucy is probably the kindest person he knows and the most loving person he knows

#I’ve been waiting for this day…#I’m sorry if this is a long ass list on ur dash I dunno how to shorten it on my phone #also sorry for any typos #these are really random I don’t know if anyone will induldge in these but I hope u enjoy them anyway!#fairy tail #fairy tail 100 years quest #nalu #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel

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wounds-seen-and-unseen · 4 months

Text

Vagdhandaja-Prologue

The actual fic scenes will be under the cut. This is world building of a sorts before the cut.

Arjun’s character here is very, very removed from canon (obviously, seeing that canon is an epic that is more than a 1000 years old) so I am only going to explain whatever is relevant to this story.

The milieu I am going for is an alternate universe of Delhi (India’s capital, in case anyone does not know) where the Kauraveya family are quite influential politicians for the most part. Arjun is the cherished youngest son of the family, very close to his mother, having lost his father as a child. He is a decorated war hero, known for both his battle prowess and his gallantry. He is an old school gentleman, so to speak. He values all human life, he prefers to avoid loss of life as much as possible. He married his wife, Subhadra, for love. Her brother, Krishn is his best friend. At the beginning of this story, he is escaping from a place he barely remembers.

Satyaka, the PoV for the prologue, is distantly related to Krishn, and by extension, Arjun’s mother Pritha, (Krishn is canonically Arjun’s first cousin, in this story, their blood relationship may be a little more removed). His son, Yuyudhana, not mentioned in this chapter by name, is Subhadra and Krishn’s friend here. I think that’s all the background needed for this story for now, but if something is unclear, please feel free to DM or ask me!

Trigger warnings: Panic attacks, discussion of intravenous drug use, disoriented character, brief emeto mention, distressed character.

Tagging @blue-lotus333 and @whither-wander-whump

Please ask or message if you want to be added to or removed from the tag list!

There are a few Sanskrit terms used here, meanings given below:

1. Pitr-shraadh: Shraadh is a Hindu ritual, in which one honours the dead. Pitr-shraadh specifically, as far as I know, is a ritual in which one honours their ancestors.

2. Pooja: Prayer ritual

3. Mata: Mother (respectful)

Prologue

Satyaka Varshney, on the way to the capital

I click the ignition off, glancing cursorily by my side at my son, fast asleep. I suppose a small break wouldn’t hurt.

Cracking my aching knuckles, I open the car door, sliding out and stretching. The wind is rustling through crowded forest greenery, fresh and clean. An unfamiliar thump directs my gaze to my son once more, still peacefully sleeping in the car. Keeping him in the line of my sight, I edge forward.

That doesn’t turn out to be a very wise thing to do in the pitch black of the depth of night, as I knock into something. Blindly reaching out, my hand hits solid flesh.

I can feel the flinch beneath my fingers, hear the faintly clicking, chattering teeth.

‘S-so-sorry. Plea-please don’t-don’t-they-I’- I blink. In front of me is a young man, hardly visible in the dark.

Whatever little I can see of him, he is obviously scared, shaking, streaks of mud on his torn shirt, what once used to probably be military camouflage. ‘I’m sorry, s-sir.’ He says, cringing away from me. ‘Hey there, young man,’ I whisper, the boy putting in my mind a spooked horse. ‘It’s alright. I’m not going to turn you in. You on the run from those outlaws down there?’ ‘Out-outlaws? Sir?’ The frank confusion in his voice has me backtrack. What the hell has happened to this young man?

‘Never mind that. Where are you coming from? Do you have anywhere to go to?’

He blinks. Looks pensive for a moment, then, face tight and eyes on the floor, he whispers, voice hoarse, ‘I…I am not sure, sir. I don’t-I don’t know what this place is. Where are we?’ I sigh. ‘Are you alright?’ The boy seems disoriented enough to warrant that insipid question. He looks down at himself, then musters a smile as he looks back up, still not meeting my eyes. ‘I think so, sir? I will be.’

‘You sure don’t look it,’ I mutter, shucking off my coat, looking critically at him, the ceaseless shivering, the remnants of bloodstains on his face. I hand the coat over to him. ‘Here. You look like you need it. And this place isn’t safe. Would you like to come with me?’ His gaze skitters away from me. ‘I-thank you sir, but I’m dirty. I wouldn’t want to be a burden.’ He’s clearly making effort to pronounce his words right. ‘And you aren’t. I have a son your age. I’d want him to be safe, just like I’m sure your family wants you safe and sound.’ I wrap the coat around his shaking shoulders. ‘There.’ He flinches away from my touch. ‘Easy. It’s alright. Can you walk?’ He nods. ‘Yes. I will. Where’- ‘I’ll tell you. Follow me.’ He does that obediently enough, although he looks over his shoulder for every step he takes. From what I can understand of his situation, I don’t blame him for the same.

Once we are leaning against the hood of my car, I probe gently. ‘Look, kid, I want to help you. Honestly. But I can’t do that if you don’t tell me anything.’ Frustration echoes in his voice as he replies ‘I am grateful, sir, but I really don’t-I remember, I had been on duty. I had asked leave from my senior so that I could do the pitr shraadh. I finished the pooja. I drank some water that was in my canteen, and then…then my head spun. Some people were trying to-to drag me off. I don’t know why, I’d never seen them before. I fought as best as I could. But I lost. That’s all I know. Then I woke up shaking on some unknown floor. I escaped as soon as I could. Honestly, sir, I’m not-I don’t lie. I don’t. You’ve done so much…I wouldn’t.’ His shivering increases as he finishes his speech, and he stumbles. ‘Whoa!’ ‘I…sorry, sir. I’m dizzy.’ ‘I can see that, kid. How long has it been since you ate?’ I ask, keeping a firm hold of his hand. He shakes his head. ‘Okay. Okay. I think these outlaws did you in. We’re at the edge of their outpost. You seem to be real lucky that they haven’t caught you yet. Tell me where you want to go, ‘kay? I’ll see if I can help you there.’ ‘To the capital. The Kauraveya Mansion.’ ‘You’re one of ‘em, huh? Some distant coz of mine married into that family. The younger son, the legitimate one, that is. I remember attending her wedding, barely married myself, too besotted by my own wife, with eyes for nought but the food. I hear the lady is mighty beautiful, though.’ He smiles, I can see the flash of teeth in the dark, feel the tense pull of his shoulder relax slightly under my hand.

‘The most beautiful in the world,’ he says, softly. ‘She is my mother. I’ll tell her that I heard the food in her wedding was really nice.’ I laugh. ‘You’re one of the Vrishni clan, then, sir? Krishn said that his clan is huge.’ ‘Aye. So you’re one of us, too, in a way.’ He shrugs. ‘I suppose so?’ ‘Of course you are. However distant, ain’t a matter. Once a connection is established, it’s there forever. You know Krishn?’ I shake my head. ‘Course you do. Never mind that, come in,’ I open the door of my car. ‘Get a bit warm, have somethin’ to drink. Wouldn’t want you to collapse like that again. Should coz find out her kiddo fainted on my watch, I’m sure she’d have my head.’ He laughs, soft and sincere. ‘Her name is Pritha. I’m Arjun. And you’re probably right, mata is very…protective.’ ‘As she very well should be, a handsome young lad like you.’ He looks down. ‘Is that a blush? I see you aren’t used to teasing yet.’

He peeks into the car. ‘Careful there. My young bison is snoring in here.’ ‘Dad. ‘M not a bison of any sort! And who’s this?’ ‘Cousin o’ yours. Arjun Kauraveya, I take it?’ He nods. My son starts upright. ‘Krishn’s brother-in-law? His best friend? Whoa. I met their family a few days ago. Both the ladies were…pretty distraught.’

The boy at my side closes his eyes, obviously affected. ‘My fault,’ he whispers. I cuff my idiot of a kid. ‘Motor mouth, can’t you think of what you speak?’ I hiss at him, jerking my chin at the distraught younger man.

‘And you.’ I turn to Arjun. ‘None of that, kid. You didn’t ask to be captured like that.’ ‘No, but’- ‘Hey, you’re gonna go home, alright? They’re yours to take care of.’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking,’ my son murmurs. Arjun shakes his head. ‘It’s alright…you were honest, thank you for that.’ My son shakes his head in return. ‘No. It’s not like you ran off on your own. You were on duty, right?’ Neither I nor Arjun correct him, leaving him to his ignorance. ‘You’re doing your best, that’s all you can do.’ The other man doesn’t look very convinced but nods his head.

I hand him a bottle of water. ‘There you go. Drink up.’ His hand shakes as he takes the bottle. I drank the water in my canteen, I remember him saying. And then my head spun. Small wonder he is scared. I take it back, drinking a gulp myself. ‘There. It’s safe, son.’ His gaze flies to mine, finding the floor again in a flash. ‘I’m’- I cut him off. ‘Nothin’ to say sorry for. Given what you’re comin’ from, it’s perfectly understandable.’

Once he’s had the water, I gesture to a sandwich. ‘Get some food inside ya, ‘kay? I can drive you to the capital, sure, we gotta go there, too. Not your house, of course not, but Lutyen’s street should work? He’s wide-eyed, staring at me as if afraid to believe. ‘Sir..I can’t ask that’- ‘Nah, you ain’t askin’. Don’t worry about it. Go on, eat the thing.’

He tries. A bite later, he stops. ‘I don’t think I can,’ he says, sounding guilty. ‘What’s the matter, kiddo?’ ‘I might be si’- he’s cut off as he gags, shoving his head out of the window. ‘Whoa. Okay. Want me to stop the car?’ He shakes his head jerkily. ‘N-no. It’s ‘kay.’

‘Wait.’ My son’s voice is cool. ‘Yeah?’ Arjun asks. ‘Those marks on your arm…did you do that? Are you an IV user? Is that why you’re confused?’ ‘W-what?’ ‘Hey!’ I interject, the kid clearly struggling to understand the pointed question. ‘He was kidnapped, bud, he didn’t’- ‘No!’ It’s the loudest I’ve heard his voice. ‘No, I wouldn’t. Mata hates that kinda stuff, I don’t even drink.’ He shakes his head. ‘I didn’t do this, please believe me.’

I glare at my son. ‘Apologize. Seriously, is this the kind of question you ask?’ Arjun blanches. ‘I-I didn’t, but…they held me down, I’m-I’m remembering.’ His voice is blank. His eyes are flaring wide as they turn to me. ‘Could they have drugged…’ he trails off. ‘They might have,’ he answers himself. ‘Maybe that’s why I feel sick. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I fought, I did, I did, I’-

‘Hey.’ My son intercedes as the younger man’s breathing quickens. ‘I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t know. If what you say is true, and I believe it is, you are not to blame. Take a breath, okay?’ He does. ‘Good. Now, just get it out, what you remember. Maybe we can help you piece it together.’ ‘Yeah…’ he murmurs, shaky. ‘Okay. I…oh. Oh, no. No, no, no. No…’ His voice falters and breaks as he repeats a frantic denial. ‘What happened?’ I ask, trying to break him out. ‘I-I broke my vow, I broke it!’ He’s vitriolic, sheer loathing in his voice. ‘God, I broke it…How could I have done it?’ ‘You did what you had to survive, kid, it’s-you can make it better, okay?’ ‘No,’ he says, his voice a knell of grief. ‘What I did…it’s unforgivable.’

#my writing #nila writes #fic: vagdhandaja #arjun kauraveya #arjun #satyaka #prologue #tw panic attacks #tw iv drug use #tw disorientation #tw vomiting #archer writes

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mysticstarlightduck · 7 months

Text

Incorrect Quotes Tag!

Tagged by the very cool, @rickie-the-storyteller! Find her post here!

This is the link to the generator.

Since the last time I did this, I used my characters from The Last Wrath, this time, I did this tag for my main cast of Tales of Wilted Flowers!

It is mostly platonic, the only ships here are: Rylisan/Eiralis, and Xarian/Lorelai.

Micah, Caladin, Arista, and Neoma'ka are their friends and adventuring companions. Kaellel is Eiralis' estranged older brother and Niven is one of Rylisan's many siblings.

Xarian: Is something burning?

Lorelai (leaning seductively on the counter): Just my desire for you.

Xarian: Lorelai, the toaster is literally on fire.

-----

Kaellel (flying down to camp like nothing’s wrong in the world): Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff.

Rylisan: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

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Eiralis to Rylisan: Turn that frown upside-down!

*a little while later*

Eiralis: What are you doing?

Rylisan, trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it is not working.

-----

Xarian: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.

Caladin: I will politely decline.

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Rylisan: Did you just refer to a knife as a “people-opener”?

Arista (a dhampir with issues): …

Arista: …Should I not have?

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Neoma’ka: While you were caught up in your heterosexuality, I studied the way of the blade!

------

Lorelai: Do you have a self-care routine?

Kaellel: "Keep going bitch,” said to myself in different accents.

Eiralis, coming into the room: Kaellel, no.

-------

Rylisan, stoically amused: Do you need help getting up?

Caladin, after a drunken brawl: Nah, I'm cool down here on the floor.

------

Eiralis: Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.

------

Xarian, incredulous:... You’re giving me a sticker?

Lorelai: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Xarian: …

Xarian: I’m not a preschooler.

Lorelai: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Xarian: I earned this, back off!

-------

Kaellel, eyeing Rylisan with a death glare: It’s not that I don’t trust Eiralis, I just... don’t trust my sister's impulse control. Especially when it comes to you.

-------

Eiralis: *eating a cinnamon roll*

Rylisan, feigning shock: Cannibalism.

Eiralis: *confused chewing noises*

--------

Micah: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere...

Kaellel, walks past: Only as their rodeo clown.

--------

Lorelai: Neoma’ka, no.

Neoma’ka, cracking her knuckles, walking towards a fight: Neoma’ka, yes.

--------

Lorelai: Why do humans have different blood groups?

Caladin, looking at Arista: So mosquitoes can enjoy different flavors.

Arista: *vampiric hiss*

-------

Rylisan: What can therapy do for me that screaming for 30 minutes can’t?

Niven: I have several questions... Namely why are you like this?

-------

Micah: Maybe the true treasure was friendship all along. But I hope not, because I can’t spend my friendship on new clothes.

-------

Rylisan: You're violent.

Arista: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.

--------

Caladin: I was arrested for being too cool.

Xarian: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

--------

Xarian: Isn’t it a bit dangerous?

Lorelai: Xarian, please. We’ve been in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt.

Xarian: …

Lorelai: Okay, we sometimes escape unhurt.

Xarian, narrows his eyes: ...

Lorelai: Alright, we escaped unhurt once... Then we hurt ourselves on the way home.

---------

Rylisan: Do we have any orange juice left?

Kaellel: *pours the remaining juice into their cup without breaking eye contact*

Kaellel: Sorry, we’re all out.

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Xarian: What is the most illegal thing you can do with one gold?

Neoma’ka: Exchange it for a hundred copper, put them all in a sock, and then beat someone to death with it.

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Rylisan: Niven, I screwed up, big time.

Niven (downing a glass of wine, done with life): Brother dearest, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

---------

Arista: Now it's time for some witty back and forth banter. You go first.

Caladin: *sobbing*

Arista: Look, my dude, I'm not sure where to go with that.

---------

Lorelai: That was so hot, Xarian.

Xarian: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

Lorelai: I'm so in love with you.

---------

Kaellel: You know, Micah, you are the sun in my life.

Micah: Why? Cause I'm smoking hot?

Kaellel: Because it hurts my eyes looking at you. LEAVE MY HOUSE-

---------

Neoma’ka: What do you do for a living?

Rylisan: I exist against my will.

---------

Eiralis: Hey, Rylisan, do you have any hobbies?

Rylisan: Swimming..

Eiralis: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to-

Rylisan: In a pool of self-hatred and regret.

---------

Micah: As a responsible adult-

Caladin: *chuckles*

Micah:… As a responsible adult—

----------

Lorelai: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff.

Xarian: Oh, that was all real.

Rylisan (interrupts): Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?!

Xarian: Well, If I’m gonna be sacrificed, I’m gonna do it right!

Lorelai:... He has a point.

---------

Tagging: @writernopal, @tabswrites, @cabbojage, @clairelsonao3 and @liv-is.

#writing #writeblr #writers #writerblr #my wips #character writing #my characters #my writing #writers on tumblr #incorrect quotes #tag games!#funny!#wip: Tales of Wilted Flowers

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treluvd · 4 months

Text

@badthingshappenbingo first square done!

Here's the ao3 link! (maybe leave kudos even if you read it here on tumblr?(please))

Title - Some Things Are Worth Leaving Old Memories For

Rating - Teen

Fandom - TMNT

Words - 2,576

Chapters - 1/2

Warnings - Violence, Major Character Death

Prompt - Sacrifice

Main Tags - Self-Sacrifice, Character Death, Protective Raphael (TMNT), Good Sibling Raphael (TMNT), Hurt Raphael (TMNT), Raphael-centric (TMNT), Raphael Needs a Hug (TMNT), Protective Leonardo (TMNT), Hurt Leonardo (TMNT), Hurt Donatello (TMNT), Hurt Michelangelo (TMNT), Oroku Saki | Shredder Being an Asshole, Hurt No Comfort, Angst, Bad Ending, no beta we die like men, Broken Promises, Promises, Flashbacks, Memories, No Turtlecest (TMNT)

Summary - While in battle with The Shredder, the turtles realize they can't beat him this time around. Raphael chooses to sacrifice himself in order to save his brothers.

~~~

Raph and his brothers were in a battle with The Shredder for what felt like hours now. After an hour of fighting Foot Soldier after Foot Soldier, Dogpound and Fishface. Dogpound hit Mikey square in the jaw, sending him flying and hitting the opposing wall.

“Mikey!” All of the other turtles yelled in unison.

Dogpound cracked his knuckles. “That’s more like it,” he growled.

Donnie ran over to Mikey, while Raph and Leo stayed behind to fight. “He’s out cold!” Donnie yelled back to them.

“Shit!” Raph grunted between labored breaths.

“We need to get out of here!” Leo called out.

Raph and Leo’s shells knocked together. Both of them were fighting off groups of Foot.

“Dogpound’s gonna get Donnie!” Raph yelled.

Without saying anything, Leo and Raph both pushed through the Foot, and ran behind Dogpound. Leo slashed his legs and feet, while Raph ran up his back and stabbed his Sias into his shoulders. Dogpound howled out in pain and threw Raph off his back, sending him hurling to the ground. His back stung from the impact, and he was immediately worried his shell was cracked. But he felt a sense of pride when he saw Dogpound run out the big room. He slowly pushed off the ground and stood up. “You think we’re done here?” Raph called out to his brothers after looking around the room. No other enemies were standing.

“God, let’s hope so,” Leo said. “How’s Mikey holding up?”

“Still unconscious, but he’s stable! He’ll be okay!” Donnie yelled from where he was kneeling over Mikey.

“Great, let’s go,” Leo said.

“Not if I can help it,” the cold voice of The Shredder said from the front of the room.

They all whipped around. “Not you!” Raph groaned.

The Shredder flashed his Steel Claws at the brothers. “I’m disappointed my men could only knock one of you out, but I’m confident I’ll be able to finish the job.”

“I wouldn’t be too confident there,” Raph threatened, but was ultimately unsure if they could take him.

Shredder pulled a lever sitting above a button that were both connected to the front wall he was standing at, and a large cannon lowered down from the ceiling. “If I can’t finish the job, I’m confident this will,” he said.

“Jesus,” Donnie whispered under his breath. Just by looking at it, he could tell this wasn’t just a regular cannon. It was infused with Kraang technology. Donnie shook his head. “Guys?” He yelled to his brothers. “This is, like, really bad!”

“I’m gonna crush your ass!” Raph yelled as he lunged at The Shredder. In one swift movement, The Shredder moved out of the way, and at the same time, hit Raph in the stomach with the back of his closed fist. The blunt side of his Steel Claws hitting him. Raph slid across the floor and quickly got back up, not showing the damage Shredder did.

While that was happening, Donnie and Leo both jumped on him. Leo from the front, and Donnie from the back. Donnie got one hit in, smacking his staff on Shredder's back, but causing no real damage due to his armor. Leo, on the other hand, hadn’t been able to get a hit in before he was sent flying backwards. Raph rushed over to Leo’s side and helped him up. Donnie was in combat with The Shredder now. He was very good at blocking Shredder’s attacks, but he wasn’t landing any himself. Raph ran and hit The Shredder in the back with his Sai, sending Shredder stumbling forward, but not falling to the ground. Shredder swung back at Raph, but Raph caught Shredder’s Claws with his Sai, crouching slightly to hold up the weight of Shredder's attack. Before Raph could do anything else, The Shredder yanked his hand out of Raph’s grasp, and swung down on him. Raph jumped back just in time to dodge, but fell backwards. Leo’s sword hit against Shredder’s helmet and sent it flying off, revealing the burnt skin underneath. Leo jumped back and stood in position to fight. Raph watched as Shredder turned around and lunged towards the button on the wall. Donnie was there in an instant, blocking his hit with his Staff. Leo jumped over to them and started fighting with Shredder.

“If Shredder hits that button, the cannon goes off!” Donnie yelled.

Raph ran over to Mikey and lifted him over his shoulder. He needed to get his brothers out of here. He was going to get his brothers out of here, even if it was the last thing he did. He heard Leo cry out. He whipped around and, to his dismay, saw Leo laying on the floor with Shredder standing over him. Raph dropped Mikey and ran over to him, standing in between Shredder and his brother, his first instinct being to put a barrier between the two. The Shredder swung at Raph, and he dodged just in time. Shredder nicked his shoulder with his claws, but the damage wasn’t too bad. Raph managed to land a kick to his chest, sending him backwards.

With the moment he had, he bent down to check on Leo. Shredder had gotten him pretty good. He was bleeding pretty profusely from his arm, and it seemed like it might be broken. Raph sucked air in. He hated seeing his brothers injured, and this looked pretty bad. He gave Leo a hand and helped him up. Before he could say anything, though, Shredder was back on him. He swiftly kicked Raph’s shell, leaving him stumbling forward on his face. Leo geared up to fight, but Donnie was there before he could. Donnie took a swing to Shredder's face, but he dodged. He grabbed Donnie’s arm and twisted it backwards, earning a yell from him. Raph jumped up and tackled Shredder to the ground. He was furious.

“Leave! Get out of here!” Raph yelled while fighting.

“Not without you,” Leo grunted. He was losing blood fast. He needed to leave, goddammit.

Shredder landed a punch to the back of Raph’s head, sending him staggering backwards, spots forming in his vision. He only let this affect him for a moment, though, because Shredder immediately turned to Leo, and slashed him in the chest, causing him to fall over. Raph jumped on Shredder’s back and started punching wherever he could reach. “Go!” he screamed.

Donnie rushed over to Leo and helped him to his feet again. “No!” Leo screamed.

“We have to go! Now,” Donnie said, starting to pull him away. “Help me get Mikey!”

“No! Not without Raph!”

“Leo!” Donnie yelled, tears forming in his eyes.

Leo helped Donnie lift Mikey, and they started to run towards the door.

“No!” Shredder growled, and tried to pull out of Raph’s grasp to reach them. Raph held on to Shredder tight.

“Raph! Please!” Leo screamed.

“Get out of here!” Raph yelled. “Go!”

Raph watched as Donnie and Leo paused, then Donnie pulled Leo out of the door. Tears streamed down both of their faces. The heavy doors closed behind them, cutting off Leo’s last strangled scream.

The Shredder threw Raph off of his back, sending him crashing to the floor, and faced him. “Look what you’ve done!” He cried out.

Raph launched him back up and tried to stab at Shredder with his Sai, but missed. Shredder grabbed Raph by the neck and pinned him to the wall. Raph flinched as he narrowly escaped hitting the button that would set off the cannon. “I’m going to make sure you don’t get out of here alive, turtle.”

Raph kicked Shredder in the chest and wriggled out of his grasp. “We have one thing in common, then.” Raph had a plan. He didn’t know if it was going to work, but he didn’t have any better plan. “Come at me, fuckface,” he snarled.

Shredder did just that. He lunged at Raph and nicked him in the jaw, sending blinding pain to his head. He had meant to dodge that, but was getting weaker as the fight went on. It didn’t matter though, because he still had Shredder right where he wanted him. In one swift motion, he put Shredder in a headlock, and swung around him so he was behind him. He then pushed his head square into the cannon, and slammed into the button with his shoulder. He kept both hands on The Shredder’s neck, and held him steady as he struggled. He heard the cannon fire up and-

He was in the lair. He was newly 15 years old, and had only just started fighting crime. Splinter had just finished a lengthy training session and an even more lengthy lecture about the rules he had for them: they must never kill - for any reason, they must always look out for each other, and they always must return home - together. After their training and lecture, Mikey went out to the den to watch tv, and Donnie went to his lab. Leo and Raph, not having anything else to do, and both pumped to finally be getting out in the world to help people decided to do one last fighting match up against each other.

“You sure you’re okay with me beating you again?” Raph said with a smirk on his face as they circled around each other.

“No, Raph. I’m not okay with that, which is why I am going to win this round.” Leo said definitely, then jumped at Raph.

Raph admittedly, wasn’t expecting Leo to make the first move, but quickly recovered. They were on top of each other in an instant. They both possessed pretty equal skill level, so they made for a good match. Their match lasted about fifteen minutes, before Raph had Leo pinned.

“Ugh!” Leo groaned. “I guess you win,” Raph let Leo back up. “Again.”

Raph raised his arms above his head to stretch. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, bro. Being second best to me is an accomplishment!”

Leo got up to his feet and punched Raph in the arm. “You know, I am better at strategy than you,” Leo said with a hint of pride. “Sensei told me himself.”

“Sensei this, Sensei that,” Raph teased. “What is it with you and-”

Raph was cut off by Leo jumping on him again. “I am also better at the element of surprise,” Leo boasted.

“Yeah?” Raph said. “Well I’m better at this!” He flipped Leo off of his back, over his shoulder, and onto the floor.

Without saying anything, Leo sweep kicked Raphs legs out from under him, sending him sprawled on the floor next to him. “Element of surprise,” he said.

Raph elbowed him in the shoulder. “Fine, fine. I’ll let you have that,” he said.

Neither of them got up from the floor. They both just looked up the dojo ceiling, lost in their own respective thoughts.

“Are you scared? Like, of the future?” Leo asked quietly.

“Hm?” Raph questioned. “Like, of fighting and stuff?”

“Yeah. I guess,” Leo said. “Of getting hurt?”

Raph was quiet for a moment. He wasn’t planning on having a heart to heart today, but here he was. “Uh, not really,” he said. “I’m not scared of getting hurt, no. Neither am I that scared of fighting. But-” Raph sighed. “I’m terrified of you guys getting hurt.”

“Yeah?” Leo said softly.

“Yeah,” Raph said.

Leo chuckled softly. “I guess that’s an answer I could’ve expected.”

They laid in silence for another moment. It was a comfortable silence, but it was also kind of sad. They could both feel their lives changing pretty quickly, and it scared both of them.

“You know,” Leo said. “That’s honestly what I’m scared of, too. Like, I’m so excited to finally be able to get out there and… and do good for the world! But I’m just so anxious.”

“Well, we’ll just have to look out for each other, huh?” Raph said.

Leo turned his head to look at Raph and smiled. “Yeah,” Leo said.

Another silence fell over them again. Raph thought about how everything was going to change. They had spent their whole lives training every day for this, and now it was finally happening. It was all so exciting and overwhelming.

“Hey, Raph,” Leo said.

“Yeah?”

“Let’s make a deal, no, a promise, okay?”

Raph raised an eyebrow at his brother.

Leo continued. “As the oldest brothers… and the ones that are best at fighting,” Raph smirked at this. “I think we’ve gotta leave it up to us to… to protect them, you know? And each other. I’ll look after you and you look after me, right?”

Raph chuckled. “Well, duh,” he said. “I wasn’t just gonna only look out for myself, Leo.”

“Yeah, yeah. You didn’t let me finish,” he said.

“Go on then,” Raph said.

Leo propped himself up on his elbows, so Raph did the same. “Let’s promise each other that no matter what happens, we never leave any of us behind, okay?”

“Leo, you’re making me seem like a bad brother. Of course I wouldn’t just leave any of you guys behind!” He said.

Leo sighed slightly. “No, it’s, it’s just- what I’m getting at is that we never sacrifice ourselves for each other.” Raph sat up. He was surprised to hear this from Leo. “I mean, hopefully it doesn’t come down to that, but I’d rather us all fight until the end than lose just one of us, you know? I mean, we’re a team. I don’t think I could go on with only three of us.”

“Huh,” Raph said. It’s not like he hadn’t thought of this before. He had actually run through situations like this in his head a lot. “If you just want all four of us dead, you can just say that,” he teased.

Leo sat up now. “Hey! I’m trying to be serious.”

Raph put his hands up in defense. “Sorry, bro. I’m just a little lost here.”

Leo groaned. “I don’t want you throwing yourself in dangerous situations just to help us, but I know I can’t stop you from doing that. So at least promise me you won't ever get yourself killed, okay? I’ll promise too.”

Raph’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. He had known what Leo was getting after, but he didn’t expect him to be so forward about it. “Yeah. Okay,” he said quietly. “But if it’s you guys or me, you know I’m gonna put myself at risk to-”

Leo grabbed Raphs shoulder. “Don’t. Don’t say that. I never want you sacrificing yourself, okay?”

Raph sighed slightly and shook his head. “Yeah. Yeah, okay, man. I promise.”

Leo smiled slightly now. “Good. I’ll promise too, then.”

They looked at each other for a moment, before Leo wrapped Raph in a hug. It was an unexpected, but not unwelcome, surprise. Raph exhaled and hugged his brother back. “We’ve got this,” he said, softly.

“Yeah. I know,” Leo said. “We’ve got this.”

He has pressed the cannon button. He had Shredder's head in the cannon. He knew it would jam and kill not only The Shredder, but himself, too. He wasn’t afraid. His brothers were safe. He wasn’t afraid, he really wasn’t, but there was a squeezing in his chest. Even in his last moments, all he could think about were his brothers. But they were safe. He had made sure of that. He closed his eyes.

I’m sorry I couldn’t keep our promise, Leo.

#ao3 fanfic #raphael fanfic #tmnt fanfiction #raph tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #fanfiction #ao3 author #bad things happen bingo

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