sometimes i look at the whole Thing that western gay culture got goin on and just. man. none of that's for me bro idk

Girl crush anon again.

I think there was a huge misunderstanding here. One thing is English isn’t my first language so sometimes I struggle explaining things.

Secondly, I really didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable with the girl-crush comment, it was more so about me I guess? But I should’ve checked your pronouns. I’m sorry.

And the homophobia bit, I wasn’t trying to be homophobic? It’s just that I’m recently realizing I might not be just straight, and I’ve also followed you for not so long time ago.

But ofc you’d be offended me, a woman having a “girl crush” on you, who identify as he/them. I could imagine but wrong that sounded and made you feel.

I feel horrible now, but I apologize because it’s on me.

very sincerely, i don't think the issue is with your first language not being english (also for the record, neither is it mine) but rather that i pointed out that your first message was full of implicit homophobia and instead of like, taking that in and reflecting on it and figuring out (or asking someone) what was homophobic about what you said you are now in fact continuing to say really messy things. you don't have to intend to be homophobic to perpetuate homophobia with your words, and your message was homophobic in the way you made this huge thing in my inbox about being attracted to me while framing it as this big crisis for you. that is in fact, not my issue and something you should have kept to yourself - the wrong person could have been made to feel predatory because of that frankly. also your wording of having been a "raging straight bitch" was just extremely uncomfortable because well, that really does not make me feel super safe as the object of your confused attraction considering the violence ostensibly straight people have a tendency to do to gay and/or gnc people when they suddenly feel attracted to One Of Us. and lastly, the issue with the phrase girl crush was not that i as "a he/them" am uncomfortable with being referred to under the umbrella term of girl (i refer to myself with the word girl often, it just depends on the context, however someone else might have not been okay with it and yeah you should have had forethought considering that) but rather the fact that the term girl crush is one which straight girls have been using online for years whenever they want to be able to objectify and fetishize women/people they perceive as women (most often ones who are openly gay and/or trans) while still maintaining the fragile balance of their straight identities. i don't wanna be treated like some kind of guinea pig.

now that i've taken the time to explain these things to you i hope that you can internalize this and then if you still wanna apologize i'm open to that when you can give me an apology where you don't continue to say messy shit.

would you happen to know if nate stevenson ever confirmed glimmer & bow to be bi specifically (like she did with catra & adora being lesbians), or just not straight? don’t get me wrong, i know they’re bi4bi and i’m not dismissing that, but i’m just curious because i feel like if it wasn’t explicitly stated and they weren’t in a wlm/mlw relationship, everyone would be headcanoning glimmer as a lesbian and some would probably want bow to just be a butch lesbian too 😭😭😭 i’m not even saying it happens in this fandom cause idk tbh but i’ve seen it happen so many other times with bi sapphic characters (i.e. poision ivy ofc)

also like… this is probably gonna make #somepeople without proper reading comprehension mad just by misinterpretation of what i’m actually trying to say here but i often presume writers mean “lesbian” as in “sapphic” since the latter isn’t as well known — like, they use it as an umbrella term regardless of whether that’s (historically) correct or not. my prime example would be caitlyn and vi from arcane; i’m absolutely okay with them being lesbians and i’m not erasing that fact at all but i think it’s worth keeping in mind that they weren’t confirmed by riot to be exclusively homosexual/wlw/“nmlnm”/etc. even though they may or may not very well be (i personally agree that they are). it’s another case of the google dictionary being unreliable because it relies on uneducated cishet ideas of queerness + terms so it simply defines “lesbian” as “wlw” (not even inclusive of nonbinary people) and “sapphic” as “relating to lesbians” or something like that.

anyway! sorry for making this too long, i had some thoughts but ended up ranting lol

Nate said “definitely not straight” specifically! I know that’s not the same as saying word for word “they’re bisexual”, but within the context, of both the show, and how neither of them are gay/lesbian, neither of them are aroace, saying “not straight” confirms them to be bisexual!

IMO, since bisexuality is more common and is the blanket statement under pan, omni, poly, etc. when a character is shown to be attracted to 2+ genders, they’re canon bi- now it’s up to the writers or the context of the show to specifically state whether the character is pan or anything else under the bi umbrella :) and it’s the same way in real life! If you want to discuss being attracted to 2+ genders, you will sound bisexual, unless you specify you’re pan etc underneath the bi umbrella

And here are the sources!

I KNOWWW fandom wikia is a sh💕t source, but they actually have the livestream itself to back it up! (Warning: it’s 4 hours long lol)

Chase lmao Vi and Caitlyn ARE specifically confirmed to be lesbians, not just sapphic. They are indeed exclusively homosexual wlw. The riot and league of legends twitter page had them with the lesbian flag (the new one, like the orange, white, pink one) so yeah. And this is official art; not like that fanart of Bubbline with the lesbian flag that Cartoon Network used for some godawful reason when they’ve both (or at least Marceline, and possibly Bubblegum) shown attraction to men. You are right about how some people have no reading comprehension skills tho. Like when Willow Wilson said that the latest Poison Ivy run would be loved by fans of lesbian stories and a good portion of readers jumped on that and ran with it and said that Ivy is their “canon” lesbian like uh? Ivy who wants to touch Batman’s pecs Ivy? Ivy who dated (and liked) a boy in college Ivy? Like the discourse around her is just starting to become funny to me now tbh tbh

LOL who would be headcannoning Bow as lesbian? He showed attraction to Sea Hawk, not really open to interpretation, it was quite obvious. I have tho seen him be headcannoned as gay and like. He’s soooo in love with Glimmer that gay headcannon is tone deaf lol.

No need to apologize! You can rant to me anytime :)) Thanks for the ask Chase 💙💜

I think its really cool how we're all gay here

hello! i apologise in advance if this is an odd request or a type of request you don’t do! i was wondering if you knew of any gender labels/xenogenders that pertain to “effeminate men”? when i say effeminate, i mean things like drag, and other such types of femininity that’s usually associated with queer men. i found “rosboy” but i felt that its definition was too broad for me personally. i tried looking around but couldn’t find any identities that fit, and i’m too nervous to coin my own term 😅

Sorry I didn’t see this until now! If you’re nervous about coining your own term but you have something it mind, you could always try submitting it to me or another MOGAI blog that accepts submissions. For now, though, here’s what I’ve got:

(Bear in mind that I’ve shortened the definitions to highlight what’s likely most relevant to your question.)

Effemal - A gender in which you strongly express femininity but identify as male

Effeminogender - An identity expressed through effeminacy or a gender tied to being effeminate

Lavender boy - A derogatory term for mlm and effeminate men dating back to the 1920s that has since been reclaimed

Lavenian - A gender-nonconforming turian/gay man (turian-exclusive, ofc)

Venusboy - I can’t find the original post, but it was suggested as an alternative to f*mboy

Piuttoboy - One who identifies as feminine and a boy

Princessboy - A gender that feels male/male-aligned, but feminine-presenting and/or femme

Feminec - A male gender that is deeply tied to one’s feminine gender-nonconformity

Stellavir - A male/male-aligned/gendervir person whose femininity is central to their identity

Femarsic - A gender characterized by a feminine, male energy

Syndeboy - Being a boy, but feeling strongly associated with femininity

FINboy - [Feminine In Nature]gender + boy

Artehelian - One who is simultaneously fem(inine)-aligned and man(/guy/boy/male)-aligned

Beauboy - A transmasc individual who has a connection with femininity but with little to no connection to being female (transmasc-exclusive, ofc)

Melle - A male gender with no alignment towards masculinity, instead having a feminine alignment

Roseusboy - A masculine gender that possesses feminine elements without sacrificing gender masculinity

Percifeminine - One who is comfortable presenting feminine, but only when perceived as male(/nonbinary/non-female)

Non-gender-specific terms for feminine presentation and/or alignment:

Femme

FINgender

Femipraes - When one’s feminine presentation is an important part of their gender without their gender itself being feminine at all

Femmegender - One whose gender is influenced by their femme identity

Fempunk - A gender that is feminine but not at all related to being female and rejects society’s definition of femaleness

Artemian - One who is fem(inine)-aligned

Muliebrisian - An umbrella term for anyone who is feminine-presenting and/or feminine-aligned

weird question you might be able to help me with because you seem to possibly share similar experiences? so in those posts a few days ago you mention how you would date women before you realized you were trans because it felt good to be gay even if you had the direction wrong...

see okay, I've felt like that or at l similar to that a lot, and I often find myself getting crushes on girls I know irl but then when I actually act on those feelings (with one exception where things were blurry) I end up realizing I just like the relationship because I get to be (yes I know how cishet normative this is to say) "the man" in these relationships. I end up feeling deeply uncomfortable whenever I have to imagine being more intimate than light kissing with any of these people. on the other hand, I always "dream/imagine" myself to be in relationships with men (usually other trans guys) and never with women in my mind, but when it comes to real life I not only do I hardly ever interact with men (it's all very confusing to me + where I live is pretty homo+transphobic) but the few I've had that express interest in me are not my type and the one I was willing to give a try once ended up ghosting me when things started picking up.. except there's no guys I've really ever really been interested in, except for like models/characters/others who are impossible to reach

I know some people say that's comphet when you only like someone of a certain gender when unachievable (and yeah as a trans guy comphet isn't maybe the exact right word, but I feel attraction to women in a queer way and I feel the word connects more to my girlhood upbringing)... But anyhow, if it's comphet... Then why don't I like the relationships once they start picking up steam? But on the other hand, if I like guys, why is it so hard to be initially attracted to them? And not even just that but just to generally interact with them? And ofc I know like bisexual exists... But then why does the word just feel so wrong, and like gay doesn't feel right either.. Something feels off about straight too.. And I know there's others but to start there nothing fits and I haven't found anything more obscure that seems to either

it's just I find myself seemingly only liking men in theory, and then I find myself liking women irl until the relationship develops beyond what might be platonic and then I'm just bothered by it too (might also be important to note all the women I've dated I was extremely close with for years before we dated, and all the guys who expressed interest in me I had limited to medium interactions with for 6months-1year before they expressed their interest)

even if you don't know anything, do you have any like resources that are good for these sorts of things- or any ideas for questions I could be asking to better understand my feelings? I for some reason feel like this is all so much harder than gender XD

Idk I probably sound a bit whacky, but maybe you could help- if not that's okay too, no expectations! Thank you for reading!

There's a lot of things that could be going on here, and I am definitely not an expert! I just want to preface that what I'm giving you here is based on my experiences, and how I understand what you've told me.

First, I really want to encourage you to look into asexuality and aromanticism. The labels and experiences might not end up fitting you, but I think it's important to have access to those labels and be able to consider them as part of this process.

This is a good overview of asexuality, and I recommend clicking around this page a bit to get a better understanding of the term, the experiences, and the grey-ace umbrella. This is a good starting point for aromanticism- and info on this is a little harder to find overall, but I think of it as a romantic equivalent to asexuality in many ways, if that helps as a starting point.

That said, I resonate a lot with what you've laid out here; I'd always had a sort of abstract attraction to men, but this never seemed to manifest in the meatspace.

It wasn't until I started T that I suddenly grew a lot more comfortable with the idea of actually being with men, and started to actually identify feelings for accessible men in my life.

I think it was something about comfort with my body, personally; I just couldn't imagine being with a man "as a woman", and I couldn't get past the idea that I'd always be seen as one as long as I looked the way I did. T made me feel like I was finally moving forward, and like the possibility of being seen the way I wanted to be seen was realistic and happening.

That was also around the time I looked back and realized that a very intense, very emotional, very physically affectionate friendship I'd had with a gay friend of mine had, uh, maybe not been 100% platonic. My dumb ass really cuddled this boy for hours on end while he played with my hair, thought my life was over when we stopped being friends, and still thought I "didn't have crushes on men". Jesus christ.

That might not be what you're experiencing, and it might not resonate with you! But it's where those threads went for me, and it might be worth adding to the list of possibilities to consider.

I think ultimately, the best thing you can do for yourself is to just... not worry about it. Just do what feels right in the moment; don't push yourself into anything you don't want, and don't hold yourself back from anything you do. Let the labels come later, when there's a pattern to identify. Maybe just don't worry about them for now.

so you might have seen what's going on in Hungary; another right-wing government trying to make LGBTQ+ people disappear and frankly I'm not even there at the moment and I had it up to here with this already.

let me explain what does it all mean and what's the point of this.

so first of all the bill quite literally makes it illegal to "promote" anything that has to do with the LGBTQ+, it cannot be included in sex education, it cannot be mentioned in any shape or form in schools and any type of media that even slighly touches on the topic is shunned into the late night programmes with a 18+ on it.

do you enjoy Friends? well guess what, now it can only air at late night with an 18+ on it. do you like Lady Gaga? do you like the longest ever hungarian soap opera the Baratok Kozt (Among Friends)? welllllll...

you get the picture. we're talking about a full on erasure from existance. from art, history, music, television, movies and cartoons to rights to adopt, marry, have your gender you identify with marked correctly on your papers... out the window. gone.

this recent bill has been voted 157 to 1. Fidesz has 2/3s of the votes, but still knowing the majority of the Parliament agreed to literally erase a significant portion of the population of everyday life is scary as fuck.

I have half a mind to contact some people I haven't talked to in years (and are actually on bad terms with and never want to see again), just to make sure they're safe and offer them help.

there was a petition going around which was a desperate try to stop the bill passing, but people have to understand that Hungary is not a country where protesting and petitioning matters; ofc they are good ways to show support and signal numbers, but the hungarian government will never give in to any of this ever.

they are putting all hungarian youth into a dangerous situation, especially the LGBTQ+ kids, but not only them. anyone can be accused of acting against this bill and suffer its consequences. not to mention the generation that would grow up to be ignorant and uninformed, not knowing about the existance of many things concerning the community, potentially barring kids from learning about themselves and also possibly causing internalised homophobia/transphobia/etc.

the true aim of this bill (besides the blatant effort to endanger LGBTQ+ youth) is hidden in the official name they use to refer to it; the "anti-pedophile bill". it's supposedly created to help the law to impose heavier punishments in cases of child sexual abuse and pedophilia, but of course as a good old-fashioned right-wing government they pulled the LGBTQ+ and pedophilia under the same umbrella... but the point of this is so when the next election comes around the right-wing politicians (despite their recent history of just that) can accuse the left of supporting pedophilia. voila!

as you can see this is just the usual disgusting behaviour of the far right in Eastern Europe, but it's not any less upsetting.

honestly I don't see this being fixed any time soon and I do worry about the younger generation of Hungary, just as I do for the hungarian LGBTQ+ community as a whole. my only hope is the stubbornness of teenagers; when you tell them something is forbidden information, they will go out of their way to find out every single detail and form secret little support/information groups.

as for the rest of us... it's scary, it's upsetting and it's unfair. but there's always hope and on that note I would like to mention that thanks to last year's anti-trans law and despite gay marriege not being legal in Hungary, two trans women were able to marry each other last summer and honestly this is the biggest fuck you the LGBTQ+ community could give to these far right bigots.

Thanks for trying to be polite I guess but that didn't change how much of a slap in the face this is

I had to let this in my inbox for a while so I wouldn't respond aggressively. But ofc tumblr, being the hellsite that it is, decided that it was going to make the ask disappear when I saved it to draft, so here we are responding to a screenshot that I luckily still had.

Rant below the cut:

Whether or not something is derogatory is contextual. If a word is used to degrade, dehumanize, insult, humiliate, etc then it's derogatory. If a word is used as an identity, something that someone is comfortable being called, then it's not derogatory.

One word can be used both ways

When "it" is used by bigots to try and dehumanize lgbtq+ people, then it's derogatory. If it's someone's pronouns, then it's not, and you if you refuse to use them you're being a disrespectful ass. A individuals pronouns are for their comfort, not yours.

Same goes for other words, such as queer. Queer is used as an insult by bigots all the time. But many use it as an identity and a umbrella term, so it's not a slur.

Gay is another example. I grew up with people using "gay" as a insult and a word to use for something bad it general. Most used it as a swear word, I considered it to be a swear word for a good chunk of my childhood, bc I wasn't exposed to it being used it a positive way till middle school. But does that mean I can't call myself gay now? Does that mean that people can't call themself gay? Can I not call someone else gay when they're comfortable being called that? Ofc not It's not a slur

What do you do when someone's only pronouns are it/itself? Would you say "oh sorry but that makes me uncomfy so I'm not going call you that"? Would you not respect it's pronouns, maybe call it something else? Misgender them?

If it/itself pronouns are really an issue for you to use then I invite you to unfollow me, block me even, and anyone else that uses it/itself pronouns. You aren't entitled to interact with a person if you can't even respect their pronouns, bye bye.

greetings !

about this blog:

as I’m sure you’ve noticed, this is a coven for our gay mentally ill babes! this is just a fun little side blog I made for headcanons/writings :]

this blog is primarily you-based (feeling very mlm girlboss writing that lmao), so plz don’t hesitate to submit as many prompts/hcs as you like (after reading the dni & the submission guidelines, ofc)

quick facts:

NSFW content is allowed, but will be tagged !!! If you submit NSFW stuff with no warnings, you will be blocked !

gay is used in the context of this blog mainly as an umbrella term !

information on what will/won’t be accepted can be found in the submission guidelines here (also linked in the pinned post) !

not all my posts are this colorful lmao i just felt funky

(all colorful posts will have a plain text alternative dw)

about the admin:

you can call me by any noun name

minor!

he/they/neo pronouns

i really love musicals, music, adhd coded characters, writing, escaping canon, fandom, and being gay!!!!!

feel free to send any questions to the askbox or dm!!

thank you for reading!

@bold-sartorial-statement - to compare to your straight friend watching Good Omens experiment, I have got MY straight friend to watch it as well! :P

To give context, my friend is an English Lit student like me, so he has some experience analysing fiction (albeit, like me, is more proficient doing so with the written word than with television - but like, REALLY proficient, his marks were always higher than mine, he’s a smart guy). So he’s generally open to all different interpretations of a text ANYWAY. He has also had to suffer my constant rants about various queer readings of different shows/ships for years and years, so he is often aware of how certain moments/dialogue can be interpreted in a queer way. Generally though he is quick to tell me stuff like - yes Holly, I absolutely see that this look/moment/conversation can be read as gay (he typically uses ‘gay’ as an umbrella term for LGBTQ+ as opposed to ‘queer’ like me), but you have to understand that while you can read it that way it isn’t actually being written/portrayed like that and nothing is actually going to come of it in the story. And, well, usually he’s correct (the one time he WASN’T was with Oswald in Gotham - I showed him the almost kiss on the sofa with Ed and he was all ‘no Holly, they were never going to kiss, it doesn’t mean anything.’ But ofc the very next episode Ozzie confessed to being in love with Ed :p I crowed at him about that for ages!)

Anyway, that’s context of my friend. To add to this - his watching the show was, I’m afraid, in NO WAY a ‘sterile’ experiment. I literally told him “I need you to watch this show so you can tell me if it’s gay.” It was really the only way I was gonna get him watching. So he went in ‘prepared’ in that sense. 

I got the ball rolling by making him watch the first episode with me. He turned to me after and said ‘the answer is no, nothing yet’ in regards to queer subtext/text. Which is fair - on my first viewing I didn’t feel there was a great deal of queer subtext in the first episode either. I mean, you know, obviously THERE IS subtext, but just, what I might call the general, subtle, ‘hidden’ kind that you get in lots of shows that... never goes anywhere explicit. I did point out that Zira shelters Crowley with his wing at the start, but my friend didn’t think that was enough to imply love of any kind. 

After that I had him promise to AT LEAST watch to episode 3, because the beginning of episode 3 was the part I was most interested in hearing his opinion on.

The above convo was after he’d just finished episode 3 at home :)

He then finished the whole show over the next few days and we’ve got together a few times now to discuss in person. Here’s so some key points of discussion, paraphrased.

The first thing he said to me was - “yeah, by the end it was super gay.”

Lol.

The conversation got sidetracked a bit after that with him complaining that there was too much Queen (he is not a fan - don’t judge him, okay? we all have flaws!), but that did give me the chance to ask what he thought of how the songs were used and if that contributed to how Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship was being portrayed. He mentioned how they’d used ‘Somebody to Love,’ but followed up immediately by saying they’d also used ‘My Best Friend’ so *shrug*... I asked him today to clarify if he meant that he felt the use of both songs was giving ‘mixed signals’ about the relationship and he said yes, though he was interested to learn that ‘My Best Friend’ was actually a song about marriage / a husband and wife (I learnt this from you tumblr, I hope I wasn’t giving misinformation!) and said that maybe that changed things.

I asked him if he felt Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship was romantic and he’s been a little bit cagey about it, insisting that ‘well, it’s not explicit.’ But is overall pretty adamant that there are strong gay/romantic elements to them.

He knows about queerbaiting as a concept and has actually asked me several times if the show is an example of it, because the romance is not explicit. So far I’ve not gone into too much depth about the whole thing because... well, you know, it IS a Whole Thing that’s kinda exhausting to talk about. In a nutshell, I’ve told him I personally don’t feel like it is, but that there is debate. I’ve also sort of mentioned in passing that the lack of ‘explicitness’ does allow for Crowley and Zira’s love to be understood in different kinds of ways, like as asexual or aromantic love (I gave a brief explanation of the latter since I didn’t think he’d be familiar with the term - I wasn’t until tumblr after all), and that I think that’s cool. But we haven’t got into any of that in depth (yet!). 

It’s very much the ‘we could run away together’ aspect that he keeps bringing up as the key thing. THAT was the part that made their relationship ACTUALLY queer to him (fascinating difference to your friend @bold-sartorial-statement in that my friend didn’t really get much from the church scene, while that was the one part that your friend almost DID get something? ...for my part, that bit with the swelling music and zoom in on Zira at the church was PIVOTAL to me thinking ‘holy shit they REALLY ARE pushing this as romantic, wow, fuck, shit just got real!’ so it’s funny to me that my friend was nonplussed by the moment). 

I realise now that I don’t think I ever brought up the issue of the romance being one-sided on Crowley’s part again... but it didn’t seem an issue. The way my friend talks about the relationship when we’re together very much implies he sees whatever feelings they have for each other as mutual. 

The one thing that has me satisfied from all this is that when I asked him specifically - ‘so it’s not just me? there’s really something there between them?’ His answer was, in no uncertain terms - ‘no, it’s not just you.’ So... I’m relieved, I guess :p The show passed the ‘Holly’s One Specific Friend Recognises And Admits That It’s Gay’ Test. Bravo, Mr Gaiman and team, bravo!

(aside: my friend also said that he genuinely enjoyed the show, which was a surprise tbh, because he’s not BIG on fantasy, but he said he felt a lot of it was actually MOCKING various fantasy tropes and he enjoyed that, plus he was really surprised and impressed at how good Jack Whitehall’s acting was apparently - probably gonna ask what else he liked another time :p)

thank you lol. i realize a lot of people on here use gay as an umbrella term but i hate it when one of them is in a relationship with a guy and they write them off as straight... almost like an insult like they’re disappointed in their sexuality and them not being “gay” or lesbian. bisexuality is a thing

Awwwww, anon 😭Bisexuality is 10000% a thing OFC and I’m glad you sent this ask because it is very important. So listen up, you dumb gays: Do better (@ myself too) 

was freddie mercury not bi tho?

I think trying to discuss this is rly tricky and it’s hard trying to talk about it without like idk overstepping boundaries or trying to confine someone into one particular box when they arent here to speak for themselves. That being said lmao I mean…..no…. I think it’s a bit naive to call a man bisexual because they had a relationship with a woman in the early 1970s and then only ever slept with and had relationships with men after that. Like Freddie and Mary’s relationship ended essentially bc Freddie was sleeping with and dating men whilst they were together, he came out to Mary and she supported and stuck by him and they remained friends but he never pined after her and it makes me mad that bohrap implied that he did. If you read anything written by any of Freddie’s close friends they say time and time again that Mary became sort of like a sister to Freddie and he gave her a job and a flat and they supported and confided in eachother but there was never any weird jealousy or pining from Freddie in regards to Mary. Imo it’s very obvious that they dated at a time where he was coming to terms with his sexuality and figuring himself out whilst there was so much societal pressure to be straight and to have relationships with women. Like i think ppl really forget this was the 70′s and Freddie was also trying to make it an industry that was wildly homophobic and remained homophobic throughout his entire life and career. There’s an off record quote from an interview in 1987 where he’s asked about his relationship w Jim hutton and Freddie says ‘we have to be careful about this… put it this way, I’m so happy with the person I’m living with at the moment’ to which the interviewer says ‘are you happy for me to say thats a male relationship?’ and Freddie says ‘no you mustnt say that. just relationship.’ Like he was verryyy aware that although he could get away with being camp and toying w the idea of presenting himself as not being straight, at the end of the day if he were to be upfront and outright about having relationships with men it could have ruined his career. Goin back 2 my original point lmao there are loads and loads of books interviews n quotes out there that come from Freddie’s family, friends and himself describing him as gay and not being interested in sleeping w or dating women, his friend thor Arnold who he spent like 11 years with has said that Freddie ‘loved being gay’ and that he’d never seen him ‘look twice’ at a woman the way he did with men. Peter freestone his personal assistant and best friend wrote an indepth memoir about their years together and spoke in detail about the men that Freddie had relationships w over the years but never mentioned or implied him having any kind of sexual or romantic relationships w women. His bandmates, his friends, Jim, Mary, his parents, his sister and Freddie himself all refer to him as a gay man..  A direct quote from him is ‘I’m gay, Mary was my last woman’ and ofc the famous ‘I’m gay as a daffodil my dear’ quote. Likeeee idk I just think it doesn’t reflect who Freddie was properly to call him bisexual when it’s pretty clear that he wasn’t interested in having sexual relationships with women. I think its damaging to imply that if a man has had a relationship with a woman in the past then that means he can’t be gay and must be bisexual. Idkkkkk like I completely understand bi ppl wanting representation and I also understand that the 70s/80s were a very different time and that bisexual was a relatively new and misunderstood term and ppl didn’t talk about sexuality w the same understanding and nuance that they do now. I get that it would have been easier and more simple for those who knew him to refer to him as gay like an umbrella term, but I think when u combine that w the context of him just.......not having sexual relationships w women then I don’t see why it should be something thats so heavily disputed. At the end of the day I feel like Freddie wd prob be rolling his eyes reading all this #discourse bc he prolly didn’t a give a fuck and just did whatever he wanted to do and was completely himself and just lived his life in the way he wanted to do to the best of his abilities

are you as bi as your url? besides dctv whats your fav fandom? why are you so awesome?

1. ah, interesting question! I actually am still struggling wrt labels. I’m fine with “gay” and “queer” but for me personally (and ofc this is only for myself; I look up to and admire people who are able to openly say that they are [insert label] and this is more about my own internalised shit really) I can’t see myself as bisexual because I’m not… hugely into men? like it is a lot more complicated than that but that’s all I’m willing to say publicly because I don’t want to offend anyone who is into men as I realise sexuality is about preference at least to some degree. put it this way - I kind of feel terrified and also a little grossed out by the thought of being with a man in any way that isn’t platonic. make of that what you will. 

edit: okay in hindsight I realise I wasn’t really inclusive of agender, bigender, nonbinary people etc here. ofc it is possible to be bisexual without being attracted to men, as bisexuality is just being attracted to two or more genders, not any specific gender. so maybe I could call myself bisexual but idk. I think when you use a label you gotta have some semblance of certainty and I don’t feel I have that except for how I feel about women.

and if you’re wondering why I don’t call myself a lesbian, I wonder that myself sometimes. I came out to my brother about a week ago and he asked me pretty uncertainly if I was a lesbian. but for me, idk, I know it sounds weird, and again this is just me rn, but “gay” is more an umbrella term and lesbian is specific to only liking women, whereas for me, idk - I’m not sure it’s that simple for me (I know that sounds weird after I just said that I’m mostly not into men lol). 

tldr; my sexuality is a hot mess but no I probably wouldn’t comfortably identify as bisexual. I do, however, love bisexuals very much (I headcanon a lot of my faves as bi) and I feel like bisexual people get a rough deal a lot of the time wrt the label itself and tv's general allergy to actually having the character who is bisexual say that they are.

2. killjoys! @captainriphunter got me into it and just guhhh it’s such a cool show! and like, maybe this is because I don’t really participate actively in the fandom, but I’ve actually never seen any discourse wrt killjoys bar some understandable opinions (that I share, actually) regarding the cultural appropriation on the show. so while it’s not without its problems and problematic content, it’s also a fun show that I enjoyed a lot. I also created what is probably my favourite gifset that I’ve ever made while on a killjoys spree. so there’s that. 

3. anon, you are far too kind and if I could I would find you and hug you

anonymously message me 3 things you want to know about me

Various screencaps of REGs telling people they can’t identify as queer and/or that queer is not an identity or isn’t real, all taken from this post. This is provided as part of evidence that, yes, acephobes/discoursers are absolutely saying we can’t be or use queer. Also, hey, check out how many of them are transmisogynistis, radfems, biphobes, transphobes, etc! and use a lot of anti-progressive/anti-sj language (like “identity politics”). It’s almost as if their rhetoric is related...

I have removed the REG usernames in the following captions to avoid their interacting with this post, and to slightly no-platform them. Anyway, they read:

bigballofwibblywobbly: Well you created an argument about something that wasn’t being talked about. I was talking about individuals who don’t identify as anything but queer.

Not saying we should apply it to the whole group. But you’re a terf so it all makes sense.

[REG/radfem 1]: queer isn’t an orientation??? its a reclaimed slur like god i love being a part of the lesbian gay bisexual transgender reclaimed slur for homosexual community. you’re an ace inclusionist ofc you want to reclaim slurs never used against you and think queer is a separate orientation. the lgbt community will never be the queer community or the ‘everyone that doesn’t completely conform to heterosexuality’ community lol

[REG 2]:  Yeah queer isn’t really a coherent identity in and of itself. I see “sapphic” being used in much the same way now. Like I understand that figuring out who you are is difficult and people may want to use words that are sort of? Vague and noncommittal? But queer quite honestly does not mean anything in the sense that as it’s own identity it says nothing really about who you are attracted to or your gender identity. It’s [post cut off at this point]

[REG 3]: That and its fucking vague as fuck? What does it even mean? So many non-LGBT people claimed that they’re LGBT bc they’re “queer”, when they’re just cishet polyamorous people or cishet kinksters or cishet aces or cishet aros or cis aroaces like…. that slur isn’t for u. And people who are LGBT but identify as q*eer are still LGBT? Why do u need a slur in the acronym if you’re either L G B or T? What’s the point? What does it add?

[REG 3]: Then you’d go under the bi umbrella Identity politics are so ridiculous jfc u don’t experience some new form of oppression and therefore need a community based around it just because you are mga but don’t like the label bisexual for urself.

[REG/radfem 4]:  “Queer” could mean that you are a guy who uses nail polish or that you have a turtle pet.What’s the point of this word?What does it represent?What’s your axis of oppression?What experiences do you share in common?What’s the fucking point of identifying as “queer” other than to pretend that you’re special and oppressed?

feminismandmedia: I love how you say that people who are attracted to multiple genders are pretending to be special and oppressed.

Fuck off you twit.

[REG/radfem 4]: Sexual attraction is about sex not gender.There are only 2 sexes so you’re either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual.It’s not that deep, trying to give a special name to your sexuality doesn’t make you opressed and it’s actually disrespectful to actually opressed people.

[REG/radfem 5]: You shouldn’t be identifying as q*eer freely without consequence because it’s a slur.

[REG/radfem 4]: Why are you oppressed?What’s the base of your oppression?How is society systematically aimed against you?If you’re actually oppressed why do you use such an ambigous and nebulous terminology with no concrete meaning to describe your community?Since it makes it harder to acknowledge you as an oppressed group? “Fam. I like all genders. I like dick and vagina too. I’m queer too” You’re bi, congrats, you may be affected by homophobia(oppression) if you date a same sex partner.“Oppression” is a strong and assertive word, you can’t just throw it around.

bigballofwibblywobbly: My god I hate TERFs. Fall off a bridge. Thanks.

Seriously? Do we now have a quota of oppression to fill? You want every dirty detail? You disgust me.

Also I’m not bisexual thanks.

[REG/radfem 4]: “Do we now have a quota of oppression to fill” Yes it is called being oppressed.I said that the person who said they liked dicks and vaginas is bisexual, not you. You hate us cause we’re right and you know it, I would hate us if I were you too. Just bc someone called you she instead of zir in the supermarked once doesn’t mean you’re oppressed Bethy, get your shit together.

bigballofwibblywobbly: I love how they erase my queerness to fit their argument.

[REG/radfem 4]: What am I erasing? Lmao, what’s “queerness”?You still haven’t answered what it means, bc it means nothing, it is a word made for straight kids feel special, a homobhobic slur actually.

bigballofwibblywobbly: My pal. I already said. I like all genders.

[REG/radfem 4]: …so you’re bisexual therefore only oppressed if you date a same sex partner like I said.

bigballofwibblywobbly: Wow. That’s some nice biphobia you have too. Bisexual people don’t become straight if they are in a relationship with the other gender.I’m not bisexual anyways.

(Also on that last one, calling being nonbinary a white thing? lol)

bigballofwibblywobbly: Well guess I don’t belong in the community. Congrats your gatekeeping has cut out people who like multiple genders. Top notch. Really.

[REG 6]: Aren’t there other words for liking multiple genders other than a slur?

[REG 7]: Um OP polysexual falls under the acronym without using a slur and is an umbrella term for multi-gender attraction….

Bonus under cut.

The following cap is a separate post made by a REG that is capped for no-platforming purposes and to prevent their interaction. It was shoved into the ace positivity tags because discoursers seriously just straight up hate ace people and don’t want them to exist. 

The post is about how “real” LGBT+ people hate the word queer and don’t identify with it except as a comeback, implying anyone who identifies with or uses it regularly is actually not LGBT+ and instead one of “the mogais”. It compares people reclaiming queer to white people using the n-slur and neurotypicals using the r-slur.

The post uses the phrase “cishets in denial” and I honestly think that truly encapsulates exactly how discoursers are seeing being LGBT+. 

It fits right along with that “if you are attracted to the opposite sex you’re not lgbt” post. 

It fits with the idea that more people are identifying as LGBT+ because it’s “trendy” and are actually fakes and liars, an idea spread and supported by cishets, truscum, anti-sj, radfems, etc. This comes as no surprise as MOGAI was coined by a nonbinary person, and that has been the driving force behind the hatred for it.

It also fits with how “sga” is pulled from conversion therapy because that’s literally how the people behind and supportive of the concept of conversion therapy look at being LGBT+: that it’s a phase, you’re just jumping on the bandwagon, you’re in denial, this isn’t the “real” you, etc. 

The post reads:

[REG 8]: Lol, seriously? There is no better way to show that MOGAI is made up of mostly cishets in denial than how heatedly they fight to use the word “qu**r”. If they paid fucking attention, they’d know that actual members of LGBT don’t really want to be called that, that most LGBT folks only use it to fight the balance of power that qu**r causes and that they aren’t going to cast away the history of the slur just because it’s supposedly a trendy umbrella term.

It’s the same way white people whine about their “right” to use “n*gga” when black people say no, or NT people claim “freedom of speech” when calling anyone and everyone “r*tard*d” despite decent human beings explaining why that’s fucked up.It’s so damn annoying…

danni-rants: And this is in ace positivity why again

queerautism: You heard it here first folks. Everyone who fought to reclaim Queer as an act of rebellion and empowerment… was actually cishet all along. Same for neurodivergent people who can’t be more specific than ‘queer’ about their identity. And everyone who keeps trying to turn it into a positive term and build a community around it. Also my nonbinary pan ace ass apparently lol

Simply Amazing.

greetings !

about this blog:

as I’m sure you’ve noticed, this is a coven for our gay mentally ill babes! this is just a fun little side blog I made for headcanons/writings :] this blog is primarily you-based (feeling very mlm girlboss writing that lmao), so plz don’t hesitate to submit as many prompts/hcs as you like (after reading the dni & the submission guidelines, ofc)

quick facts:

- NSFW content is allowed, but will be tagged !!! If you submit NSFW stuff with no warnings, you will be blocked ! - gay is used in the context of this blog mainly as an umbrella term ! - information on what will/won’t be accepted can be found in the submission guidelines here (also linked in the pinned post) ! - all colorful posts will have a plain text alternative dw

about the admin: - you can call me by any noun name - minor! - he/they/neo pronouns - i really love musicals, music, adhd coded characters, writing, escaping canon, fandom, and being gay!!!!! - feel free to send any questions to the askbox or dm!!

thank you for reading!