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tinyboxxtink · 2 years

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"Spring Break '86" *Chapter 15*

Chapter 14

Chapter 16

She's BACK!

I know guys, little break. But-- damn.

Episode 9 broke me. it BROKE. ME.

I'm still broken, but i'm persevering. Hell, I'm writing the rest of the show MY WAY.

Did my annoyance for Nancy Wheeler come out in this? Maybe. Did my opinions about certain parts of the episode come out? Absolutely.

Did I perhaps make a villain origin story? Mayhaps.

As you'll see, some scenes from "PAPA" are written straight out. [That "Never change Henderson? HAD TO BE IN THERE.]

Oh right, this covers episode 8 lulz.

BUT-- I'm pretty sure by the end of this chapter/episode, we will NOT be doing episode 9.

Not at ALL. We're veering off-road and heading a whole new direction.

SO, get ready for that!

----------------

Eddie immediately started to run after Vecna, but Steve held him back.

“DUDE, you heard him!” Steve yelled. “We need to go,”

Edde stares off to where Vecna took you for a long time, tears welling up in his eyes, still unmoving.

“EDDIE!” Dustin yells down to him. “You’re not doing Y/N any fucking favors standing there!”

His words knock Eddie back to reality, he nods his head and climbs up the rope reluctantly.

When they’re all back in his trailer, he looks at all of them very seriously.

“Alright, we need to find this Eleven girl--NOW,”

-----------

Vecna’s “Lair”-- The Kreel House in the Upside Down

You woke up stuck to the wall of the Kreel house, covered in vines. Vecna was floating above you, connected to a bunch of veins coming out of him, seemingly attached to the house.

“What the fuck--??” You whispered to yourself, trying not to panic.

The last thing you remembered, you were running towards the portal with Eddie--

Eddie.

“What the fuck did you to Eddie, skinhead?!” you yelled angrily, knocking him from his coma.

“Ah, you’re awake,” Vecna chuckled, floating back down to you.

“What did you--”

“Nothing child,” he put his clawed hands across your face, stroking your chin. “Your friends are fine, in fact they’re back home In Hawkins,”

“W-What?”

“Oh yes, they were more than happy to leave you here, in exchange for their release,” he smirked.

“You’re a fucking liar,” you spat. “Eddie wouldn’t just leave me here. There's no way,”

“And yet,” he gestures to you. “Here you stand in my home, and he’s safe at his,”

“You made him leave,” you shook your head. “Or Steve, or my brother-- there’s zero way he just left me here. I’m not stupid enough to believe your bullshit,”

“Ooooh, look who’s so smart,” Vecna chuckled darkly. “Alright, I’ll give you that. I may have stolen you,”

“Yeah, no shit,” you tried to keep your voice steady, but you were terrified.

“Don’t worry little one,” Vecna spoke weirdly soft to you. “I’m not going to kill you-- yet,”

“Yeah i know, you want to do it in front of as many people as possible, like a sicko,”

“No no,” he wagged a finger at you. “I’ve got my sights on much bigger things, my child,”

“My child?” you snorted. “My dude, i think we’re around the same age,”

“I mean as more in a disciple sort of way, my child,” he clarified.

“Ew,” you made a face.

“ANYWAY,” He speaks over you, getting visibly annoyed. “I have my sights set so much higher than just you,”

“Oh?”

“Yes,” he nods. “In fact-- I’ll show you,”

And then everything went dark.

------------

Eddie’s Trailer, Hawkins

“Shit shit shit shit shit,” Dustin paced Eddie’s living room more than ever, while Eddie was whimpering into his hands on his lap.

“Okay, can we not panic yet?” Nancy asked the group, who gave her a weird look.

“Not panic yet?” Eddie’s head shot up. “Not panic YET?”

“Whoa whoa whoa man, take it easy,” Steve held him back in case he lunged towards Nancy. “I mean can we just--”

Suddenly they heard an evil ethereal chuckle, and then a THUMP, as they saw you falling from the ceiling onto the mattress.

“Y/N!!!!” Eddie and Dustin both yelled your name at the same time, lunging forward at you.

You sat up groggily, coming out of the vision Venca had given you. When you were finally oriented, both Eddie and Dustin had you in a three-way bear hug on the mattress.

“E-Eddie?” Dusty?” You blinked several times, realizing you weren’t in the Upside Down anymore. Soon you had thrown your arms around the two of them, pulling them both tighter into you.

“You’re okay,” you can hear Dustin whimpering into your shoulder.

“Thank God,” Eddie mumbles into your hair.

The others just stare in awe at the reunion, getting emotional at the display. Nancy is, of course, the first one to speak. “Why did he let you go?”

“Seriously, Nancy?!” Now Dustin was the one to snap at her. Here they were just grateful you were alive, and she’s questioning it.

“I just wanna know what happened, is that a crime?!” she exclaimed.

“No, she’s right,” You rubbed the top of Dusty’s head as he and Eddie released you from the hug. “He let me go for a reason,”

“Which was?” Nancy asked.

“...He showed me his plan,” you started to tear up, remembering what you had just seen.

“Which is…?” She pried.

“He showed me things that haven’t happened yet. The most awful things. I saw a dark cloud spreading over Hawkins. Downtown on fire, dead soldiers. This giant creature, with a gaping mouth. And this creature wasn’t alone, there were so many of them. An army. And thy were coming into Hawkins. Into our neighborhoods, our homes,”

You took a deep shuddering breath, looking at Dustin while putting a hand to his face.

“And then-- he showed me my mom. And Dustin. And Eddie,” you reached behind you and pulled Eddie closer into your back; he kissed the back of your neck.

“Okay, but-- he’s just trying to scare you, Y/N,” Steve rationalized.”Right? I mean, it’s not real,”

“Not yet,” you looked at him with fearful eyes. “But there was something else. He showed me the gates. Four gates. Spreading across Hawkins. And these gates, they were like this one,” you pointed above you.

“But, they didn’t stop growing. And this wasn’t the Upside Down Hawkins. This was our Hawkins. Our home,” you were getting choked up just remembering it.

“Four chimes. Vecna’s clock. It always chimes four times. Exactly,” Max spoke up.

“I heard them too,” you nodded at her.

“He’s been telling us his plan this whole time,” she sighs.

“Four kills. Four gates. End of the world,” Lucas says with a somber face.

“If that’s true, there’s only one kill left,” Dustin points out.

Jesus Christ…” Eddie whimpered, clinging onto you tighter. “Jesus Christ,”

“We need to try Jonathan again,” Steve said, looking at Eddie’s phone.

----

“It’s still a busy signal,” Max sighs.

“Well, maybe you punched it in wrong,” Steve suggested.

“I didn’t punch it in wrong,” Max rolls her eyes.

“Well, maybe-- I don't know,” Steve sighs.

“Dude, I think she knows how to use a phone,” Dustin tells him.

“I’m just saying, she could’ve typed it in wrong,” Steve shrugs.

Max lets the phone ring several times, then slams the receiver down once more: “Same shit,”

“How is that possible?” Lucas asks.

“I’m telling you, it’s this new telemarketing job Joyce has. Mike wont stop whining about it,” Dustin tells the group.

Yeah but this phone’s been busy for what, three days now? It’s not Joyce, no way. Something’s wrong,”

“She's right, it can’t be a coincidence. Whatever’s happening in Leonora can’t be a coincidence. It’s all connected,” Nancy finally speaks up. “But he can’t hurt them. Not if he’s dead. We have to go back there. Back to the Upside Down,”

“Nope! Nope nope nope nope NOPE!” Eddie shakes his head, pulling you into his lap while you’re both still sitting on the mattress.

“No no no, let’s think this through okay?” Steve puts his arms around Nancy.

“What is there to think through?!” She yells.

“We barely made it out of there in one piece!” Steve throws her hands up.

“Yeah because we weren’t prepared! But this time we will be. We’ll get weapons, and protection. We’ll find his lair, and we’ll kill him,” she explains.

“Or he’ll kill us! The only reason he let Y/N survive is because he wanted her to. He’s not scared of us!” Eddie stood up in protest.

“And for good reason!” Robin speaks up. “We were wrong about Henry, Vena, one, what are we calling him now?”

“Henry!” Steve says.

“Vecna!” Lucas cries.

“One!” Max corrects them.

“RIght,” she shook her head. “We’ve learned something new about Henry/Vecna/One, he’s a number like eleven, only a sick evil male child murdering version of her with really bad skin. BUt my point is, he’s super powerful! He could turn us inside out with a snap of his fingers. It’s not a fair fight!

“So why fight fair? dUstin asked. “You’re right he's like eleven. We know her strengths and weaknesses,”

“Weaknesses?” Robin’s eyes furrowed.

“When El remote-travels, she goes into this trance-like state. I bet the same is true with Vecna,” Dustin explains.

“That's what he was doing in that attic,” Lucas thinks out loud.

You and Eddie look at each other, lost. It must have been when you were at your childhood home.

“Exactly! When he attacks his next victim, I'll bet you he's back in that attic, physical body defenseless. “ Dustin goes on.

“Defenseless? Yeah, what about the army of bats?” Steve points to his chest.

“Well, obviously we’ll just have to distract them,” Dustin shrugs.

“And exactly how do you plan on doing that?” you finally speak up.

“No idea. But once they’re gone, he doesn’t stand a chance! It’ll be like slaying sleeping Dracula in his coffin!,” Dustin smiles excitedly.

“That all sounds good in theory but there is no pattern to Vecna’s killings, at least not one I can decipher. We don’t know when he’s going to attack next, we don’t even know who he’s going to attack,” Robin paces nervously.

“Yes we do,” Max chimes in. “I can still feel him. I'm still marked, curse. I ditch these, I draw his focus back to me.”

“Max, You can’t. He’ll kill you,” Lucas takes her hand.

“I survived before. I can survive again. I just need to keep him busy long enough so you guys can kill him,” she squeezes Lucas’s hand, giving him a small smile before looking at the rest of the group.

“Just….whatever you do, don’t miss,”

-----

After discussing what kinds of weapons and defenses they need, the gang decides to go to a place Eddie suggests-- “The War Zone,”

Obviously, he can’t go in-- so you stay with him in your car while the others run in to get the supplies.

“Y/N,” Eddie sighs, taking your hands.

“....Yeah?” You raise an uneasy eyebrow, scared of his tone.

“Look I’ve been thinking about what Dustin said, about the bats?”

“....Yeah….” you don’t like where this is going.

“I think,” he took a deep breath. “I think i’m gonna need to be the distraction,”

“EXCUSE ME?” You have to let out a laugh of disbelief. “No, nuh uh. No way, not happening,”

“WIll you just listen baby, please?” He asks. “Look, bats are sensitive to sound, right? So I'll Just play Warlock, and--”

“NO, Eddie!” you cut him off. “That is just-- it’s not an option,”

“Y/N nobody else plays the guitar--” Eddie tried to ration with you.

“I DON’T CARE,” you raise your voice. “I-I don’t give a shit if someone else has to bang trash can lids together, you are not putting your life at risk for Nancy Wheeler’s sick pleasure!”

“It’s not her sick pleasure--” Eddie protested.

“No,” you cut him off. “But it’s her idea. You know, if she wants to go kill him so badly, why doesn’t she risk Steve’s life? Or, or better yet why doesn’t she call that stoner boyfriend of hers and get him to risk his fucking life?!”

“Y/N--”

“NO, EDDIE,” You raise your voice louder. “I don’t care what you think you’re accomplishing by putting your life at risk, but you are NOT being the fucking bait. Over my dead body,”

“Don’t say that--” He takes your hands.

“It’s true!” You insist. “I will die before I let you risk your life, do you fucking understand me?”

“Babe we’ve been through this--” he sighs.

“NO,” You grabbed his shoulders. “No. We said that we would both go on if the other died, like-- accidentally. Fighting. On our own volition. We did not agree to go VOLUNTEERING our fucking lives because Nancy Drew has a fucking God complex all of a sudden!”

“Y/N!” Eddie grabs your shoulders this time. “That is not what this is about. This is about me, and the fact that I ran once before, and I’m not doing it again,”

“Ran--” you laugh sadly. “Ran once before? You mean when some girl was MUTILATED in front of you?! You think that makes you what-- a, a coward?”

Eddie looks down, answering your question with his body language. You put your thumb under his chin and turn his head up to face you.

“That does NOT make you a coward, Eddie Munson,” you said very seriously. “It makes you human,”

“Whatever,” he sighs, looking down. “Whatever it makes me, I need to be better,”

“Better than a human being?” you laugh. “Uh no, honey, you don’t,”

“I gotta be a hero,” he says seriously.

“A hero?!” you stop laughing. “A hero? What do you think we’re actually in D&D now?”

“That’s not funny--” he mutters angrily.

“I agree,” you nod. “It’s not funny. It’s not funny to think you need to be a ‘hero’, Eddie. You know what heroes do? They DIE,”

“But--”

“NO,”

“But--”

Suddenly, the group came running out to the car at full speed.

“We gotta move!!!!” Dustin yelled as he jumped in your car and the rest of the group piled in Steve’s.

“What--” you looked at them in confusion.

“Jason and his goons were inside,” Dustin pants, as Steve’s car peels out of the parking lot. You immediately follow behind him.

“What are you talking about--” Eddie asked.

“He was buying guns, a lot of guns,” Dustin elaborated.

“Why?” you asked, still speeding behind Steve. “He thinks Eddie is dead, right?”

“Gee I don't know Y/N, I didn’t stop to ask him!”

“Okay, okay,” you sighed, looking at Eddie. “Sorry i asked,”

“So where exactly is Harrington headed?” Eddie asked.

“Your guess is as good as mine,”

------------

The Water tower Field

The group begins to forge their weapons and armor, as you watch on. You didn’t really know what you were going to be dong in this ‘plan’, so you didn’t really know who to join. You just sat back and watched your brother and Eddie making shields.

“How’s it feel?” Dustin asks.

“Light but durable,” He shoves the shield with nails on the front of it in the dair. “Deadly but reliable,”

“Hear me now-- there will be no more retreating from Eddie The Banished,” He says in a goofy voice, low enough so you can’t hear him.

“Hey you're really ready for bat-tle,” Dustin laughs.

He glances at you, and you just shrug.

“Get it?” he looks between the two of you.

You and Eddie just stare at him.

“BAT-tle,” he repeats. “B-A-T,”

You still both stare at him.

“No?” he sighs. “I really thought i had a good one--”

All of a sudden out of nowhere, Eddie charges Dustin like a wild man.

“What are you doing?!!!” Dustin wrestles free from him, and then charges him. “You son of a bitch!”

They’re yelling and laughing, wrestling each other until Eddie goes for his pants.

“No wedgies, NO WEDGIES!!!” Dustin screams.

Eddie laughs and grabs him in a hug: “Never change, Dustin Henderson,”

He looks over at you with a sad smile, before looking back at him: “Promise me?”

Dustin looks over at you, who looks just as confused as he does.

“Wasn’t planning on it,” He tells him.

“Good,” he smiles, “Good!”

“Good,” Dustin laughs awkwardly.

----

Eddie pats him on the back as he walks back over to you, your arms folded.

“What’s the matter, princess?” he asks innocently.

“What the fuck was that, Munson?” You narrow your eyes.

“Me…playing with your brother…?” He says in a confused voice, trying to grip you in his arms.

“Nuh uh,” you wag your finger in his face. “Don’t give me that. What was that ‘never change’, bullshit?”

“Babe--” he sighs.

“NO,” you stop him. “No i know what you’re doing, and you’re gonna knock it the fuck off Eddie, you hear me?”

“Y/N….”

“You don’t start spouting this sentimental bullshit to my brother, who worships you, like some kind of Mr. Miyagi because you think you’re not coming out of this thing alive,”

“Y/N come on--” he pulls you closer.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me that’s not what you were doing, Edward Munson,” you challenged him.

“Princess,” He gives you a look.

“DO IT,” you say louder.

“Alright, fine, fine,” he sighed, throwing his hands up in the air. “So maybe I wanted to have some nice bonding time with my--- basically my little brother, and give him some words of wisdom before we head into hell,”

“You are not going,” you tell him flatly.

“Yeah alright,” he laughs.

“You’re NOT,” you repeat angrily.

“Y/N, seriously?” he scoffs. “There’s a difference between being protective, and emasculating,”

“Eddie--” you protest.

“No, you listen now,” he put his hands up. “If I wanna risk my life to help save this town, including your brother and your family, then I’m damn well gonna do it, with or without your permission,”

“But why?!” you argued. “Why the fuck are you trying to defend this town? This stupid hick-ass town who wants to burn you at the stake? Why are you willing to DIE for them?!”

“For you!” he shakes you. “I’m doing it for you, so you have a safe place to live--”

“I’m not listening to this,” you throw your hands up and walk away, but Eddie chases you.

“Baby come on--”

“NO,” you glare at him. “I don’t wanna hear anymore about you and this stupid plan. I’m never gonna be okay with this, do you get that? It’s not safe, and you’re dragging my brother and these kids into it, and Steve and Nancy and Robin have their heads up their asses, and--”

You stop mid-sentence when you realize everyone else has gathered to listen to you bitch.

“Why are you being like this?” Dustin asks, noticing the crowd. “Why are you the only one not on board with this?”

“BECAUSE APPARENTLY I’M THE ONLY PERSON WITH A FUCKING BRAIN!!!!!!” You scream.

“Or the one person without a soul,” Nancy scoffs.

“Oh fuck you, Nancy Drew,” you throw her the bird.

“No,” Nancy stood her ground. “This isn’t just about you, or Eddie, Y/N. Or any of us. It’s about our families, our town. You’re just too fucking selfish to see that,”

“Yeah well,” You scoff with a sarcastic laugh. “I’d rather be selfish, than dead. Thanks,” you throw your hands up and start walking away.

“....Y/N where are you going?!” Dustin calls after you.

“I’m not going to sit here and watch you idiots kill yourselves,” you yell back, not turning around.

“But--” Dustin looks at Eddie, who looks at the rest of the group, who looks back at him. None of them knew what to do.

Was this Vecna? Was he getting to you? Should they stop you?

“We don’t have time for her temper tantrums, Eddie,” Nancy stopped Eddie from running after you. “You know i’m right,”

“She’ll--” Dustin paused, watching you drive away. “She’ll be back. Just let her cool off, yeah?”

“Well, we’re not sitting around and waiting for her,” Nancy grabbed her sawed off- shotgun. “Let’s go,”

-----

Meanwhile

You drove and drove, muttering angry thoughts to yourself. They were all idiots, the lot of them. This town didn’t deserve anything less than being burned to the fucking ground.

And you were going to make damn sure that’s exactly what would happen.

----

The quartet had dropped Max, Lucas and Erica, Lucas’s little sister off at the Kreel house, as part of their plan. The next step was for Robin, Nancy, and Steve to head into the Upside Down, to kill Vecna while he tried to attack Max.

Your brother and Eddie had been assigned “bat” details. You knew exactly what they were ‘assigned’. Eddie was going to play his guitar and distract the bats while the ‘dream team’ killed Vecna, endangering both him and your little brother’s lives.

And you weren’t having it.

Eddie and Dustin pulled up to his trailer, seeing your car already there.

“See?” Dustin smiled, patting Eddie’s shoulder. “Told you she’d come around,”

“Yeah, I guess you were-- OHMYGOD!!!!” Eddie started to agree with Dustin as they walked up his porch, but when he opened the door, they realized they were wrong. Very very wrong.

You were taking apart Eddie's guitar. Actually, to be more specific, you were smashing Eddie’s guitar. To bits and pieces.

“Y/N WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!?!?!?!?!” He screamed, running over and kneeling before the pile of plastic that used to be his baby.

“I’m saving your life, jackass!” you scream as Eddie’s prized possession crumbles into a million tiny pieces.

“What the fuck is WRONG with you, Y/N?!” Dustin yells at you.

“You need to leave, now,” Eddie orders you.

“The fuck I will!” You stand your ground. “YOU are not about to put my brother’s life in danger, because some bitch tells you too!”

“Y/N!” Dustin yells. “Nancy isn’t a--” he stops. “Where are your headphones?”

“Oh shove it, Dustin,” you growl. “I’m not being Vecna’d. I’m worried about YOU! THat’s like, the complete opposite!”

“Look sis I get that you’re scared, but-- Nancy is right, you’re being selfish,” Dustin sighed.

“ Ohhhhhhh,” You chuckle to yourself, the audacity this kid had. “You better take that back, right now little dude,”

“No!” he shook his head.

“Baby, I love you,” Eddie took your face in his hands. “I do. I love you so much, and I’m-- I’m not saying Nancy is right, but-- baby you gotta understand. Come on, we-- we have to do this,”

“Right,” you laugh sarcastically. “Because God knows this for whatever reason is put on YOUR shoulders. LIterally no one else in this town has any fucking responsibility to take care of this--”

“We’ve done it before!” DUstin argued. “We’re doing it because we know what we’re dealing with, Y/N,”

“Eddie doesn’t,” you gestured to him.

“The fuck i don’t!” he was getting angry now. “Y/N, Chrissy died in front of me. She was-- she was ripped to pieces. I owe her to do this,”

“....Oh you did not just say that to me, you son of a bitch,” you growled.

“What?” Eddie asked, genuinely lost.

“...You liked that girl, didn’t you?” you narrowed your eyes.

“W-What?” Eddie suddenly laughs uncomfortably, glancing at Dustin who has a very worried look on his face. This wasn’t going anywhere good.

“Why else was she at your house, in the middle of the night, Eddie?” you snapped.

“She was--” he rubbed the back of his neck. “She was buying stuff off of me, okay?”

“Really?” you cross your arms. “Chrissy Cunningham, All-American Sweetheart? Was buying drugs from you? In the middle of the night?

“It wasn’t the middle of the night!” Eddie protested.

“....THAT’S what you’re defending?” you scoffed.

“Abort, abort,” Dustin mutters frantically.

“God you really must have a type, don’t you?” You laughed sarcastically, tears stinging your eyes.

“What?” Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Captain of the cheer squad? Most popular girl in school? ALL-AMERICAN GIRL?!” You shove him.

“God, it’s not even original, Eddie!” you scream. “See and here i thought i was special, that we meant something,”

“We DO!” Eddie began to panic; this definitely wasn’t you.

“No, we don’t!” You scoff. “Y’know, I felt bad because the second I left here, I let myself get caught up in ‘popular’ bullshit. Spreading myself around. Feeling I betrayed you somehow,” you laughed tearfully. “And come to find out you just replaced me with a clone!”

“That’s not fair--” Eddie protested.

“It is TOTALLY FAIR!” You scream. “You’re sitting here telling me that you would rather go into hell to DEFEND CHRISSY CUNNINGHAM’S HONOR, rather than stay here and be with ME,”

“That’s--” Eddie’s eyes darted back and forth, trying to process what you were saying. He didn’t mean it like that, he really didn’t. But-- you did have a point. “Baby, that’s not--”

“You look me in the eye and you tell me you have no feelings for her,” you looked him dead in the eye.

“I--” He looks at Dustin, who looks away. He’s staying out of it. “Sh-She’s dead, Y/N--”

“AND?” You bellowed, tears dripping down your cheeks. “If she wasn’t, would you be with her right now?”

“What?” He laughs. “No! I’d be with--”

“No, you wouldn’t,” you cut him off. “If Chrissy hadn’t been murdered by Vecna, I would’ve showed up to your house and you would’ve been banging the cheerleading princess!”

“That’s not--” he laughs nervously. “That’s not true. She’d never go for me--”

“OH MY GOD,” you screeched, lateral steam could blow out of your ears at any second.

“....Wrong answer, dude,” Dustin whispers.

“You know what, Eddie?” You grab your purse. “You do whatever you need to do to avenge Chrissy, the love of your life,”

“Y/N stop being so dramatic--” Eddie tried holding your hand.

“FUCK YOU,” You screamed. “Fuck you for acting like I’m the crazy one. Like I’m the bad guy. For caring about YOU. All you care about is avenging Chrissy,”

You turn on your heels, heading towards the door.

“And you know what? I hope you and her will be very happy together, IN HELL,” You storm out of the trailer, expecting Eddie to follow you.

He doesn’t.

---------

“...Prick,” you cry hot angry tears as you start back towards your car.

“I know, Princess,” you hear a low guttural voice behind you as a clawed hand graces your shoulder. “I know,”

“I can’t believe he was going to--” you cry harder, just thinking about him and Chrissy. Fucking Chrisy Cunningham. Stupid bitch. And Nancy Wheeler.

“Yes, they’re all horrible,” Vecna reads your thoughts. “But you know, you can still save Eddie and your brother from them,”

“...What?” you look up at him with curious eyes.

“Think about it, Y/N,” Vecna smiled evilly. “Eddie didn’t care about Hawkins, or anyone else for that matter, before he met those do gooders,”

“...Yeah,” you sniffled.

“And your brother never stood a chance, being friends with those ‘pure of heart’ friends of his,” Vecna went on.

“True.” you nod, letting him get to you.

“So, you help me, and I’ll help you,” he smiles.

“Help me?!” you laughed. “I’m sorry, have you or have you not been the one proclaiming I’m horrible and need to be punished?”

“Mmm, maybe,” he nods. “But i’ve decided i’ve got bigger fish to fry,”

“Meaning?” you cross your arms.

“Do I think you deserve to be judged? Sure,” he shrugs. “But, I have my sights set on much bigger things, and far more people than you and your boys,”

“So what does that mean?” you questioned him.

“It means,” he stepped towards you. “You help me take down Hawkins, and I’ll spare your brother and Eddie Munson,”

“...What?” You blink in disbelief.

“Oh come on, Y/N,,” Vecna laughs. “You know you’re salivating at that offer,”

“Why would you--” you start.

“I know you, remember?” he points to your head. “There’s no need to be anything else but yourself around me,”

“And who is that,” you ask.

“You’re special,” he replies.

“Special?” you raised an eyebrow.

“Like me,” he smirks.

“Like you?!” you laugh loudly.

“Think about where we’re standing, Y/N,” Vecna gestures between the two of you. “You had the good sense to get out of dodge while your ‘friends’ gather a band of misfit soldiers,”

“Oh, I see.” You laugh sarcastically. “I’m narcissistic,”

“You’re smart,” he corrected you.

“Excuse me?” you ask.

“A human’s primal instinct is human preservation, Y/N,” He explained. “Those idiots are calling you selfish for obeying your instincts,”

“....Yeah,” you nodded.

“They’re the problem, don’t you get that? That band of misfits are turning your boys against you,” Vecna pointed out.

“So…” you gestured with your hands waiting for him to continue.

“So, you help me, and I promise-- no harm will come to you or your boys. And I will punish them,” he smirked evilly.

“And how am I supposed to trust that?” you ask him skeptically.

“I suppose you don’t have to,” Vecna shrugs. “But you really don’t have any other choice, do you?”

“...No,” you shook your head.

“All you have to do is tell me their plan, and I’ll keep Dustin and Eddie safe,” Vecna held out his hand.

“You swear?”

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” he smirks.

“Right,” you roll your eyes, but shake his hand.

“Good girl,” he smiles evilly. “Now, tell me everything,”

DId you just make a deal with the devil?

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fic #stranger things #stranger things 4 spoilers #stranger things 4 #spring break 86

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codegeassfacts · 1 year

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Code Geass Lelouch of the Rebellion Sound Episode Newtype Special // Canon and Not Canon

This Sound drama is a special sound episode which came out with the July 2007 issue of Newtype, in between Stage 23 and Stage 24 of Code Geass season 1 (For those who didn't knew, There was a 2 month pause in between Stage 23 and Stage 24 and 25, that's why those last two episode have a different opening, made specially for them.)

So there are 5 tracks in this special sound episode, but most are really crack~ish given they break the 4th wall, leading even the characters to meet their voice actors and being mostly happening as a radio show; The first one is canon though, as it happens within the show timeline and recall an important thematic within Code Geass.

Track 1 – “Code Geass Lelouch of the Rebellion Sound Episode Newtype Special- The Third Reason” You can listen to the original audio drama right here

A gunshot is heard and people scream.

Robber Don’t move!!

Boss Everyone get down, hands above your heads.

Robber We’ll kill you on the spot if you don’t do as we say!

Lelouch “This was the national bank, a cheap looking place for low class citizens. Usually we just turn off the TV when we see it on but this time, we couldn’t. It was because…”

Kallen is grabbed by the robber.

Kallen Aaahh!

Suzaku Kallen!

Robber Try anything weird and I’ll shoot this girl right through the head!

Lelouch “This was real and we were there.”

Boss We’re just here to take the money. It’ll be over in no time if you cooperate.

Lelouch “There were two robbers. The one with the commanding voice was the boss holding a rifle and the stupid looking one was holding Kallen hostage with a pistol. With my Geass that gave me the power to command any human being, I could deal with them easily but I would have to use it without Suzaku and Kallen noticing.”

Boss I’m going inside… Watch the hostages.

Robber Got it, Boss.

Lelouch “Maybe I could contact the Black Knights. I’m sure there was an armed unit in the D7 Area but, it will be a reckless move.”

Suzaku Stop it! Let that girl go!

Kallen Suzaku…?

Lelouch “That idiot-!”

Suzaku I’ll be your hostage! That girl’s not well.

Lelouch “No… I think she’s actually quite a tough one.”

Suzaku Don’t you have any shame taking a girl hostage?

Robber Hmm…? You’re an Eleven! Help us if you’re Japanese! All the money here was taken away from us by the Britannians!

Suzaku That doesn’t mean you have to resort to robbing!

Robber Shut up! We have the Black Knights backing us up, you know!

Suzaku What?

Lelouch “Oh really? The Black Knights huh…”

Kallen gets all defensive.

Kallen Stop lying. The Black Knights are different from people like you!

Robber What?!

Kallen The Black Knights… Zero… would never take a girl hostage!

Robber Shut up, you Britannia girl!

He hits Kallen.

Suzaku Kallen!!

Lelouch “My my, I guess I have no choice.”

Lelouch gets up.

Suzaku Lelouch…?

Robber Hey you… The student over there! Don’t stand up!

Lelouch walks towards the robber.

Lelouch Silence! I’m the one giving orders around here.

Robber Stay back! I’ll shoot the girl if you get any closer!

Lelouch continues to walk.

Lelouch Do as you want, please. That girl isn’t my lover or anything.

Kallen is surprised and can’t believe what he said.

Kallen What…? Lelouch…

Robber Idiot. Do you know I can shoot you?

Lelouch stops.

Lelouch There are three reasons why you two are going to fail.

Robber Oh?

Lelouch Number 1, you think it’s worthwhile taking that girl as hostage.

Kallen …

Lelouch Number 2, you believe you’re the only ones who possess weapons.

Robber Ha! Students wouldn’t have weapons on them!

Lelouch That’s right… But what would you do if we came here for the same reason as you did?

Robber What?!

Lelouch Why don’t you try shooting me…? If you want to have a taste of how powerful the C4 plastic explosive in my pocket is, that is.

Robber You’re bluffing.

Lelouch Then check my pockets.

Starts walking towards the robber again.

Robber Sta- Stay back! I’ll shoot her!

Lelouch I thought I would let you hear the bomb’s timer.

Robber What!

Lelouch You should be able to hear it now.

Lelouch activates the Geass.

The sound of the timer counting down… You can hear it, the sound that carves time.

The ticking can be heard.

Robber It can’t be… I can… I can really hear the bomb!

Kallen What…? But I can’t hear anything…

Robber Stop! Stay away from me!!

Lelouch Come. There’s 10 seconds before it reaches zero.

Robber Stop! Stop it! I don’t want to die!!

Lelouch 3… 2… 1…

Suzaku slips in and knocks the robber out much to Kallen’s surprise.

Suzaku Are you alright, Kallen?

Kallen Ye- Yeah… Suzaku… When did you sneak in behind him?

Suzaku Lelouch drew his attention away so it was simple. Can you stand?

Kallen Than-

A gunshot is heard.

Boss I ordered you not to move.

Lelouch Oh? You’re pretty fast. You’re returned earlier than I had calculated.

Boss Shut up! Don’t you see I’m holding a rifle?

Suzaku Surrender. If you do it now, your punishment can still be lightened.

Kallen Suzaku, it won’t get through to him.

Suzaku Don’t worry. Leave it to me.

Suzaku starts walking towards the boss.

Now, throw away your gun!

Boss Stop right there!

Suzaku It’s no use to do that.

Boss Looks like you won’t understand if there aren’t any deaths. Take this!

The boss shoots but Suzaku dodges and rushes in at high speed.

Kallen He dodged the bullet!

Suzaku knocks down the boss.

Suzaku I am Suzaku Kururugi, a Warrant Officer of the Britannia. I hereby restrain you for robbery and attempted murder.

Boss This… This can’t be happening…

Suzaku I’m not afraid of guns when there are no hostages.

Lelouch Hmph. The third reason is Suzaku Kururugi is right here.

Sirens are heard.

Kallen Ummm… Thanks for saving me.

Suzaku You did well. I can’t believe you spoke back to the robbers…

Lelouch Even though you’re just a weak young lady.

Kallen Huh? Oh, I was just… Er, that is…

Suzaku Kallen, are you alright?

Lelouch We should be asking if you’re alright. It was too reckless of you going up against people with guns.

Suzaku You too, Lelouch… Bluffing like that was too dangerous. If I hadn’t sneaked in, what were you going to do?

Kallen Huh? You two didn’t have it all planned?

Lelouch Not at all.

Suzaku Lelouch made his own moves.

Kallen And you still managed to overcome them…

Lelouch You were there after all, Suzaku.

Suzaku replies sarcastically.

Suzaku Thanks for thinking I’m such a reliable person. But you were wrong about the third reason.

Lelouch I was?

Suzaku Yes. It wasn’t because I was there. It was because were both there right? Lelouch.

End of Track 1

Track 2 – Code Geass YamaYama of the Rebellion Deluxe Special

The two Seiyuus behind Lelouch and Rivalz, Jun Fukuyama and Noriaki Sugiyama are taking part in this special in a recording room. Just as they are making fun of there own characters, Lelouch breaks into the recording room. He is not happy about them ruining his image. The two Seiyuus don’t know who he is until they learn he used his left eye. Lelouch uses his Geass, ordering them to go reflect on their “sin” and takes over the show to redeem his image.

Lelouch calls in Rivalz who looks over at the two “sinners” and admires Sugiyama who plays his role. On the other hand, he doesn’t think too much of Fukuyama.

Lelouch:“Rivalz, hurry up and sit down over here.”

Rivalz:“Ah right.”

Sits down and gets hit by Lelouch.

Rivalz:“Hey! What did you do that for?”

Lelouch:“I don’t know why but… I suddenly got really annoyed.”

Rivalz:“What is wrong with you?”

Lelouch:“Hurry up and put us on air.”

Rivalz:“Why me?”

Lelouch:“I don’t know how to operate a radio show.”

The show begins.

End of Track 2

Track 3 – Code Geass YamaYama of the Rebellion Deluxe Special

And so, the “YamaYama” show begins.

Lelouch:“Wait! What is this “YamaYama”? I don’t understand the reason behind it.”

Rivalz:“Well you see, I think they’re putting the “Yama” in Fukuyama and Sugiyama’s names together to come up with “YamaYama”.

Lelouch:“Then we must change the title. We don’t have the characters “Yama” in either of our names.”

Rivalz:“Then what shall we do with it?”

Lelouch:“Hmmm, yes. We both have a “ru” in our names, the “ru” in Lelouch and the “ru” in your name “Karudemondo” so we’ll call it the “Rebellion of Lulu”.

Rivalz:“Ugh… You don’t have any taste in naming do you?”

The two goes onto introducing themselves and then starts reading out a fan letter that begins with “To the one named Yama”. Lelouch interrupts because he finds the addressing strange. Rivalz explains it’s just a pen name and continues. The letter asks about how to keep a room clean. Rivalz passes the question over to Lelouch since his room is so clean.

Lelouch:“Ah yes, if I have any litter I clean it out immediately. After using anything, I put them back in place otherwise I don’t feel right.”

Rivalz:“So your room is always super clean and tidy?”

Lelouch:“No, my room hasn’t been like that lately really.”

Rivalz:“Huh? Why?”

Lelouch:“There’s a messysomeonein my room.”

Rivalz:“Who? Nunnally?”

Lelouch:“No, not Nunnally. This someone messes around with my textbooks, uses stuff without my permission then leaves them lying around. Thanks to this someone I just can’t clean up my room anymore. And, this someone gives me the look as if I should be the one doing the tidying up afterwards! Just thinking about it annoys me…!”

Rivalz talks about a ghost in Area 11 but Lelouch says the someone isn’t as fun as that. The “someone” is just destitute. Just then the phone rings.

Rivalz:“Hey, a call.”

Lelouch picks up his phone.

Lelouch:“It’s me.”

Rivalz:“Hey, we’re in the middle of a programme here you know…”

Lelouch:“C.C.?! You were listening?!”

Rivalz:“Looks like we’ve just had an accident on our live show!”

Lelouch:“Silence! What’s wrong with telling them the truth!”

He hangs up. Rivalz try to ask who it was but Lelouch ignores it and decides to move on.

End of Track 3

Track 4 – Ashford Academy, The Boys Changing Room

Lelouch and Rivalz goes into a corner of the school where students can shout out their secrets and anything that annoys them into a locker. Lelouch thinks it would be a good idea to hide a listening device to gather information. Rivalz stops him.

After releasing all his woes into the locker which including how he doesn’t want to join an event with primary school kids again or be called the “leader of justice”, Lelouch wants to take the locker home. But once again Rivalz stops him because it belongs to everyone. Just then, Lelouch’s phone rings again.

Lelouch:“You’re annoying me.”

Rivalz:“Oooo, sounds like a girl’s voice!”

Lelouch:“The shouts have nothing to do with me!”

Rivalz:“Getting pretty emotional aren’t we?”

Lelouch:“Shut up! Go eat your pizza or something!”

He hangs up. Rivalz teases him about picking up the phone all the time during work. Lelouch tells him the call demands that they stop their stupid shouting activity. Rivalz isn’t happy to hear that and is annoyed at the girl who called. He starts pretending to be having a conversation with the “mystery” girl.

Rivalz:“So, why do you have such a rebellious personality? Oh, because you’re a friend of Lelouch’s huh! Ah, I seeeeee now!”

Phone rings but it’s an e-mail for Rivalz.

Rivalz:“Hey, a message for me! Lets see… I will make Rivalz pay for insulting me… What the-!!”

End of Track Four

Track 5 – Ashford Academy

The show ends and Rivals and Lelouch reminds fans that they can listen to the Code Geass YamaYama DX show every Saturday from 2:30AM on Bunka Radio or Kansai Radio, JOQR.

Translation by Xcomp

That's about it for this Special sound episode, I personally really enjoyed it and I hope for those who didn't knew about it, it will be the same. With this one we are fully done with season 1 sound episode, so we'll move to the R2 Sound Drama in the next post.

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wastelandbabyblue · 2 years

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The duffer bros said a while back that s5 will take a big time jump from s4 but like...how?? How are they gonna ignore the apocalypse that happened in hawkins???

Also when Lucas said in the last episode "max died for a minute but she got back to life it was a miracle" why did eleven stay silent why didnt she tell him that it was her to brought max to live?

One last questionnn, do u think that vecna has eddie? Cuz we didnt see his dead body

no idea tbh. i guess they’ll just pretend nothing happened like they always do in Hawkins lol like “oh? giant cracks all over the city? no biggie, let’s just move on to the next part of town a monster will destroy”

listen i was so??? about that. the cali crew lowkey knows she did smth, but maybe she didn’t want to say anything before making sure she could find max on her head - and when she didn’t well. who knows tho another weird moment for sure. i think that whole 2 days later bs was terrible lol they should’ve made 3 eps and explained everything. like i know some people say there wasn’t anything to show but uh?? everyone acting like everything’s fine. no one’s sad about eddie at all (apart from dustin ofc). where’s max mom? where’s lucas and erica’s mom??? where’s murray and the guard? idk it felt rushed af to me after 7484949 hours of episodes they couldn’t add an extra half hour 😭

idk i think he’s dead dead. i think people just want him back (as i do, too) cause his character was really good and fun but yeah. if they bring him back it’ll be bs imo. i’m already mad that they didn’t kill off max for good lol maybe they didn’t expect people to like eddie so much tho so 👀

#stranger things spoilers #i know there were other characters that people liked that died but nothing like eddie

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emrysarthurpendragon · 2 years

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Stranger Things theory (!!BOOK 2 MAJOR SPOILERS!!)

If you haven't watched Stranger Things' finale yet, please don't read what I'm putting under the "read more" here. I know spoilers are basically everywhere since the episodes came out, but still, if you somehow manage to avoid them, DO NOT READ!

Ok. We all know that, in the finale, Eddie Munson died as a hero and, I'm not gonna lie, for a new character, that death impact me more than I thought it would. Maybe because I'm a weirdo and a gamer that never grew out of it. Anyway... we're not here to learn more about my teenage years or whatever. We're here to talk about THEORY of what might happen if they are willing to bring Eddie back in season 5.

Something truly caught me off gard during the finale: we have not seen any of the gang's react to Eddie's death, except for Dustin of course. We went from: "Eddie died" to "Two days later" really quick, with the teens helping out all the people in town, as if nothing happened. At the center, Steve, Robin and Dustin seemed just fine, all smiling and stuff, which is weird since they just lost a friend to demo-bats. They don't even mentioned him until Eddie's uncle comes up and Dustin told him the new and how heroic Eddie had been in his final moments. But what if Dustin's tears were because he was lying to the only man who actually care and love his friend? Because he remembers he almost lost one of his friend to the Upside Down?

What made me think of it was the fact that half the group went in town to help while the other half headed to Hopper and El' former house to clean in up. At the time, they didn't even KNEW Hop was alive, so why would they clean the house? The Byers and El' had left Hawkins months ago, so El' had already picked up her things here and they were probably not planning to move back here without talking with Joyce first. It makes no sense at all. In my opinion - but I might be wrong - they were all cleaning and fixing that place because they had to hide someone. Someone who could not be seen in Hawkins because his name was still labelled with the title of "murderer" and they needed more time to come up with a way to clean his reputation. Maybe Eleven brought more than one person back to like with her powers and offered her former hiding place to that young man, who willingly sacrifice his life for her friends. Plus, they could not just take Eddie to the hospital, he would be under arrest even before they put him in surgery.

So yeah, maybe there's more to come for Eddie. At least, I hope so, because I feel like we barely scrach the surface of what and who that young man is.

#stranger things season 4 #eddie munson #st4 spoilers #stranger things theories

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fireflyhwufanficwriter · 7 months

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My thoughts on Dr. Stone’s S03E11 (“With This Fist, A Miracle”)

(Safe to read for anime-only folks.)

My thoughts after watching Season Three, Episode Eleven:

01. Kohaku has a lot of skill and confidence to be about to maneuver in unfamiliar territory, at NIGHT, like that! :O

02. The platinum is so, so close! :D

03. This last-for-now episode's title is "With This Fist, A Miracle!" :)

04. I think we've seen Kohaku panic more in this half-season than the previous two seasons combined XD

05. But HOW could they have made a ball of concrete inside the Soyuz? Did they put all the science goodies inside, and then fill it up with concrete? But... that would be a huge risk... HOW is there a perfect concrete sphere inside the Soyuz?? :O

06. Yup, just like the glass record! It was up to Kohaku in the past, and now, it's up to Kohaku once again! :)

07. Oh, she's so close to what will save EVERYBODY... so very close...! :O

08. This is adorable! Senku's talking about something that's literally deadly, and he's holding out his arms to show how much damage he can do, but he's being cute about it, and Suika decided to copy him and stretch her arms out too, which is super adorable! :D

09. Soyuz cowering and covering his head reminds me of when Suika was scared about the chemicals that Senku was mixing for the antibiotic, way back in Season One! But this time, somebody else is very scared, while Suika is just a bit worried and her head is turned sideways in (sort of) Senku's direction. She's not nearly as scared as she was back then! :)

10. Plaster acquired! Uh, the island looks weird... maybe because of its 3D-ness on top of the waters 2D-ness? XD

11. Amaryllis is so good at distracting the guards! Before, it was her marveling at their muscles, and now, it's her asking them to watch her dance XD

12. Initially, I was disappointed that they made Ginro dance in that goofy way. I really should have known better, though, because the animators of Dr. Stone have been so careful, and they've been so faithful to the manga. I should have believed in them! :)

13. Senku called her "lioness Kohaku!" :D And she, of course, started to protest, as usual! :D

14. And this is were Ginro's "spear dance" comes in! :) Twirls and jumps and poses and intensity! :O He gives a slightly different explanation here compared to the manga... I think... but "I always need to be ready to escape without putting up a fight" sounds very much like him, too! XD

15. Amaryllis is both very impressed and not very impressed at the same time, hahaha! :)

16. Okay, so one set of vials has emerald green sulfuric acid, and the other set of vials has anhydrous calcium sulfate in the form of white powder... Basically, sulfuric acid and powdered seashells... oh, Senku didn't finish the explanation. Wow, that might be the very first time he HASN'T finished a scientific explanation in this series XD

17. You just need to mix those things and the plaster that forms will eventually... three hundred kilograms per square meter - THAT much force?? Ah... silent bomb acquired... for sure! :O

18. "Still, someday... Science will quietly break stone." This is so true...! :O

19. "No... This sand itself must have value. It's how Senku's always done it. He's always made use of fragments of the stone Earth. I've really found my place in the Kingdom of Science, haven't I?" Aww, Kohaku...! :)

20. A special delivery from the spy team to the science team! :D

21. There are only 0.001 grams of platinum per ton of earth... And sifting through a river for platinum would take DECADES... :O

22. They did the cartoon animation thing of two random people digging for materials really well. The small tree turned into a big tree; the whale had two whale children; the two young digging people turned into two old digging people... this was quite well done! :)

23. Did Byakuya's dedication and love make me cry when I first watched this episode? Yes. Did all of it make me cry AGAIN as I'm writing this? Also yes. Byakuya... I don't even know... I don't even think I need to say ANYTHING, because his incredible determination to work for the future of humanity as the last astronaut on Earth, and his absolute faith that his son, Senku, would break free from the petrification and find the fruits of his decades of labor one day... :O

24. The way he said, "I don't mind not being the one looking up," and the fact that Senku's name was the very last word he spoke... So much faith, and so much love... Byakuya is AMAZING :O

25. And I love that they showed the International Space Station up there! It's so fitting, in more ways than one! :'(

26. That's SO MUCH PLATINUM! And Senku, his eyes are shining - he knows EXACTLY how hard, and how long, his father must have worked to get that much, to give it to him someday... :O

27. Senku is biologically Byakuya's friend's child... but he's Byakuya's son, ten billion percent! :)

28. I wish that instead of saying, "in the way that you never buckle," they instead translated that to, "in the way that you never give up" XD But "buckle" does highlight the "never break under pressure" aspect, as opposed to "never give up," which focuses more on the "continuing no matter what" side of things, so I can see why they chose "buckle" :D

29. Just like in Season One, Senku thanked Byakuya again - but this time, it's for his many decades! :) And, platinum acquired! :O

30. Kirisame realized the connection between the boat and the Soyuz; Ibara declared in a really creepy way that they have an intruder... and Mozu's just relaxing with his axe on a tree branch, just hanging out XD

31. Super complicated-looking science setup acquired; nitric acid acquired! This is going to be exhilarating! I love that Senku was facing towards the light in the last scene - the light of hope, the light of the past, and the light of the future! :D

32. And the end title card thingy says, "Next Episode, The Kingdom of Science Strikes Back, Airing in October!! See you then!" :O

33. The scene I would have hoped they would end this sort-of-finale with didn't take place in Season Three, Part One, Episode Eleven after all, but that's alright! I am SO happy that they did such a great job animating the first part of my favorite arc in the Dr. Stone series! And, I won't go into detail because I want to keep this post spoiler-free, but I saw what the animators did in this episode, and I appreciate it! :D I'm super looking forward to watching Season Three, Part Two, Episode One, which will be airing three hours and and ten minutes from now - and there's a ten billion percent chance that it will be exhilarating! :D

https :// fireflyhwufanficwriter . tumblr . com / MyDrStoneEpisodeMangaThoughts

#dr stone #ishigami senku #kohaku #dr stone kohaku #dr. stone #dr. stone kohaku #ishigami byakuya

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

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DIWK - Chapter one: "Yes, I'm a genius"

Word count: 10,5 K

Warnings: Cursing, but it's mostly a fluffy nerdy start to our story. Mentions of the L.D.S.K episode (Season 1, E06) and A real Rain (Season 1, E17).

Summary: Spencer meets the BAU new member, a young S.S.A. who happens to be just as nerdy as he is. (Y/N) is excited to join her dream job finally, but she is decided to create an imaginary barrier between her personal life and her job 'cos she doesn't want to make the same mistakes her father had done.

A/N: It's happening!!! I'm so excited!! I'm sorry it's gonna be long, so I hope you enjoy the ride 💕. Let me know what you think!

Series Masterlist

┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅��┅┅

Spencer's point of view

I remember everything that happened the day (Y/N) first arrived at the BAU. It was Monday, November 7th, 2005. Morgan had teased me for a whole week already, as soon as Hotch told us a new member of the team had been selected.

I first saw her when she had her last interview with Aaron and Gideon. My eyes were glued to her from the moment she stepped into the bullpen, and of course, Derek saw me.

- "What caught your eye, kid?"- he asked, walking to my desk. He sat on it and cut me one of his smirks, telling me he knew something was going on. I cleared my throat, trying to turn to my pile of paperwork, going through the papers, and narrowing my eyes, pretending to read.

- "What?"- I know I couldn't fool him, but at least I tried.

- "Do you know her?"

- "Who?"- Morgan looked at me in silence. He knew I knew what he was talking about- "The... no, Hotch is talking with someone..."

I was completely flustered.

- "That I can see, do you know her?"

- "No..."- I whispered and looked over again, this time staring at the scene inside the office, trying to figure out what they were talking about.

I could see (Y/N) smiling at Hotch, and he... smiled back, which still surprises me. Our Unit Chief never smiles in the office, and somehow, (Y/N) always manages to make him grin and express tenderness. I guess that's one of the things about her I love, the way she always manages- somehow, I still don't know how- to make everybody around her happy. Especially me. I had never been as happy as I've been since I met her.

- "Hey, Hotch!"- Morgan waited until she was into the elevator to call Aaron and start asking questions- Who is she?

- "That's Supervisory Special Agent (Y/F/N) (Y/S/N) (Y/L/N), and she is going to be part of the team, starting next week."

My heart stopped. (Y/N) was gonna work with me. I was never going to have another intelligible thought or idea if she was going to be around. Of that, I was sure.

Derek turned to me with a grimace of taunt as I tried my best to look away and hide my red blushed cheeks. Damn it. I hate it when he makes me feel like a kid. He did that then, and he still manages to do it now, even when I'm already thirty years old.

- "Did you hear that, pretty boy?"- I was so glad it was just him and Hotch. I didn't want anyone else to listen to that conversation- "You are going to get many chances to talk with that pretty girl."

- "We are going to have to go through the fraternization policy then."- Hotch joked. Yes, he joked and smiled as he walked away.

I could barely talk or even look at her during her whole first day. I was so embarrassed that week 'cos I had just failed my firearm qualification, and I knew everybody was judging me. At least that's how I felt. It didn't work that Morgan welcomed me that morning with a freaking whistle. I felt like the mockery of a Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and of all days, (Y/N) had to arrive that morning.

We had a long briefing that day, JJ catching (Y/N) up with a few cases we were reviewing, and Hotch gave her the proper induction to the team. Penelope loved her. It was friendship at first sight.

- "I'm so happy you are here to stay! There aren't enough girls here at the BAU!"- she nearly squeaked as soon as we left the meeting room- "I want to know everything about you! We are going to be best friends. I can feel it!"- (Y/N) smiled at Garcia and nodded.

- "If you are a cat lover and a sucker for nerdy things, then I guess we are already family."

Her answer made Penelope shriek in excitement as I walked back to my desk quickly. I knew Derek wasn't going to waste the chance to embarrass me in front of her, and I needed to avoid it no matter what.

- "Considering it's your first day, and so far we haven't got a case, I say we should all have lunch together. There's a small place nearby"- Morgan smiled sweetly at (Y/N), and she nodded.

- "I'd love to."

- "Spencer here was just telling me how he wanted to know how you got to the BAU so young; he is excited not to be the team's baby anymore"- I turned to Morgan slowly. I swear he could feel the daggers from my eyes.

- "How old are you?"- she asked, and her smile left me speechless. I tried to answer, but I couldn't make any sound but an awkward stutter.

- "He's twenty-four"- Elle had to answer for me, 'cos I had literally lost all my verbal abilities- "His birthday was a few weeks ago."

- "Congratulations! I'm twenty-four too! I'm so happy I'm not the youngest! My brother teased me about it for the last couple of days and got me all freaked out."

She looked so happy to be there. When you spend day after day surrounded by the worst of humankind, you seem to enjoy and appreciate the little gentle things in life. Her excitement was one of those. It was refreshing.

- "That's..."- it was so hard to pronounce any word at that moment. I was flustered and mortified 'cos I was making a fool out of myself.

- "That's great."

That was all I managed to say. Then, I looked down at the papers on my desk, doing my best to avoid any conversation. JJ and Elle talked to her for a few more minutes before returning to their duties, and Derek tapped my back as he walked to his desk.

- "Way to go, Romeo."

- "Shut up."

We never made it for lunch that day, 'cos we were called for a case in Illinois, and I was embarrassed in front of (Y/N) for the very first time. The first of many.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I could never forget the day I met Spencer. We were just kids. We were both twenty-four, and that was the first thing that caught everybody's attention on my first day at the BAU. We were the youngest, though he was a genius. I was an average kid who graduated high school at sixteen, got good grades at college, and got into the academy at twenty. Somehow I managed to kick ass until I got the position of my dreams in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I felt too young and inexperienced to be there, but seeing Reid's face made me feel a little better.

Hotch introduced me to everybody: Morgan, JJ, Elle, Penelope, Gideon -the legend- and Doctor Spencer Reid. He didn't shake my hand, explaining he has a "germs thing." I waved and said I understood him because I've always had a "hug thing," so we are both on the same page.

- "I don't like people touching me if we are not close friends or family."- I explained, and he smiled right away. That smile. It lit up my days for years to come.

- "Me neither, so don't worry, I'm not gonna try to touch you"- I bit my lips as I nodded, and his cheeks turned blood red with embarrassment immediately

- "Sorry, I mean, I'm not going to do anything that might bother you, like hugging you or..."

- "Don't worry, Dr. Reid, I understood what you were trying to say"- he kept nodding and excusing himself, and I tried not to laugh. He seemed to be so nervous it was endearing.

- "You... you can call me Spencer, or Reid"- he added- "You don't need to call me doctor."

- "You can call me (Y/N)"- and he nodded again, looking like a ten years old kid.

I remember clearly that second, right away, I thought he could be my new best friend. There was something about him that made me want to get closer to him.

- "Great! Now we've got two weird kids."- Morgan quickly said, chuckling, and I frowned at his words. I wanted to give him the snarkiest answer, but I remembered it was my first day, and I was still trying to give a good impression to my new coworkers, so I just stared.

- "You know, treating them like kids won't make you look wiser."- Elle whispered, though I heard her perfectly, as Hotch called to the briefing room.

- "I'm just joking with them! Don't you get a joke?"

I thought it was rude to joke around with someone you had just met, but soon after that, I realized Derek Morgan meant no harm. He was like that. And soon, he became the older brother I never thought I was going to need at work. After all, it was my first official job, and it was a very stressful one.

My first case was nerve-wracking. Gideon snapped in front of me, and I felt I wasn't helping at all catching the sniper. We are not supposed to use that word, but fuck it. Besides, Spencer and Hotch were kept hostage by the unsub. And Aaron had to beat the shit out of Reid to save all the hostages. Reid was so embarrassed, and I was so scared.

Scared of looking weak in front of my team. Afraid of not deserve being at the BAU.

I remember Elle brought me a coffee on the jet on our way back and said the words that resonated in my head when she left.

- "No one expects you to be perfect at what you do. We just need someone who gives the best every day."

I looked into her eyes and nodded. That was one of the few intimate conversations we had. Elle wasn't the one to open her heart and share her feelings. But she was always someone who could tell you the truth and support you when you needed it.

- "Hey! Reid!"- I waved at him from my car as I stopped next to him outside the BAU. It was already two in the morning, and he was outside the main building waiting for a cab.

- "Hey (Y/N)."- he whispered as I rolled up the window and looked at him.

- "Do you need a ride?"

- "No... no, thank you"- he hesitated and waved- "I already called a cab."

- "Are you sure? it's gonna start raining any minute now."

And just as I predicted, a few seconds later, Spencer's glasses were covered with tiny drops of water. He smiled and took a step closer to the car, opened the door, and got in.

- "Th... thank you"- he whispered as I smiled

- "It's ok, I couldn't let you there, on your own, waiting for a cab, not after coming back from a case."

- "I'm ok..."- maybe he thought I was implying the beating he got from Aaron earlier that day, so I did my best to tell him otherwise.

- "I bet you are, but it's fucking freezing, and we are all tired. There's no way you are waiting for a cab if I can drive you over... what about your car, by the way?"

- "I'm not a fan of driving; I take the subway to work every day."

- "Really? Why not?"- I was surprised by his answer, but I was way more surprised we were talking, finally.

- "I don't know, I don't feel comfortable driving... the guys say I'm weird."

I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. He looked so nervous it made me feel bad. Maybe I had done something that had bothered him and never noticed it.

- "That's not weird"- my voice was soft, trying to calm him down. Spencer looked like a scared kitten sitting on my car's passenger seat.

- "If you don't like driving, that's ok... I don't like talking on the phone with people. It makes me anxious for no reason."- I confessed, keeping my eyes on the road. But I know he turned to me and nodded.

- "That's completely normal. It's called "telephone phobia" or "phone phobia," which refers to the irrational fear or discomfort with speaking over the phone. Psychologists believe that this condition is related to social anxiety, which causes a person to avoid situations where they will need to act. Making a call is essentially a performance, and some people dread making a mistake, freezing up, being ridiculed, or not being able to perform in front of an audience."

- "Really?"- he just nodded and kept his eyes on the road- "I didn't know it had a name! My insurance should cover it."

And he finally laughed, which made me feel he was maybe a little more relaxed around me.

- "This is me."- he announced, and I parked outside his building. It was a nice place, and conveniently, it was very close to my house.

- "Great! I live just a few blocks away. I can give you a ride to work whenever you want"- I might have sounded a little more excited than I should have, but I wanted to be friends with him. He was the closest in age with me at work, and he looked so shy and friendly. He was a magnet. Spencer Reid was calling for my friendship. I could feel it.

- "Th.. thanks"- he stuttered and nodded as he opened the door and step out of the car- "Thank you, again."

- "You are very welcome!"- I answered with a big smile. He stared at me for another second and waved before turning around, basically running into the building.

I wish I could go back in time to those days. Everything was more uncomplicated, we were getting to know each other, and everything was brand new: Reid's rambling, my bad jokes. I miss that. I miss us.

It wasn't easy to get close to Spencer. It wasn't easy to get close to the team, probably 'cos I was overthinking every single thing I did. In my first couple of weeks, I was as friendly as I have ever been and made my best to be the (Y/N) I had to be as an FBI Agent. I was making a tremendous effort to fit it. I was nervous and walking on eggshells the whole time. Every time Hotch talked to me, I was sure he would tell me I was fired. When Gideon looked at me, I was sure he thought I was the dumbest agent he had ever met. And every time I spoke at the morning briefings, I just could feel Spencer thinking I was stupid.

- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)! I was looking for you!"- Penelope ran into me outside the lady's room and jumped on my face, making me scream- "Sorry!"

- "It's ok, you just almost killed me of a heart attack, but that's ok... I'll survive."- I joked as I kept feeling my heart jumping in my chest.

- "Sorry, I'm just excited 'cos everybody is in for a little gathering tonight at my house. I need to give you a proper welcome! You've already been here for nearly a month, and we still don't get to know much of you."

Hanging out with my coworkers outside the office was strange. Not that I didn't want to get to meet them, it's just that... they were FBI agents. Sure, so was I, but it was my first official Supervisory Special Agent job, and I was only twenty-four. There were so many of my teenage days I still wasn't ready to let go. And so much of it, I didn't want them to know.

- "Sure!"- I replied and smiled at her face lighting up. You could tell Penelope was excited to host a party at her house.

- "Great! Tonight! my place! I'll text you the address! you have to be there!"

- "I will, I swear!"

Spencer's point of view

Oh, man! The first time I actually talked to (Y/N) was on a get-together Penelope organized at her apartment a few weeks after (Y/N) joined the team. Garcia made an effort to make her feel welcome, she even invited Elle, and we all knew those two weren't incredibly close.

Derek drove Elle and me to Penelope's, and I was mortified every minute I spent in that car. He wouldn't stop teasing me, and Elle asked over and over if I had a crush on (Y/N).

- "No! I don't have a crush on her! can you knock it off?!"- I finally snapped as I got off the car outside Garcia's building.

- "Just because she is my age doesn't mean I have or should have a crush on her! she is our new colleague! so please! Stop!"

I slammed the door and walked inside. Did I make an unnecessary scene? Yes, but I couldn't handle anything better at that moment. They were driving me crazy.

- "Welcome! Welcome!"- Penelope opened the door and invited us in. (Y/N), and JJ were already there, holding a beer and laughing. I stared at the two of them and knew I wasn't going to say a word the whole evening.

Back then, I still had a small crush on JJ. We had a terrible date after Gideon gave me tickets for a football game with her favorite team. That was his way to encourage me to ask her out, which I did... but apparently, I sucked at it, 'cos she never got it was a date and invited Penelope to come along. Worst date of my life. But still, I got flustered around her, and my mind kept coming back to her from time to time.

- "So, pretty girl, why did you want to be part of the FBI?"- Morgan asked her after a while of small talk. She was sitting on Garcia's coach, next to our host and JJ. I turned to look at her from my chair, and I swear I felt Elle's eyes on me for a few seconds.

- "Do you usually call girls names?"- (Y/N) answered the questions with another question and frowned at Morgan. He just wide opened his eyes and smiled, surprised.

- "He calls everybody names."- JJ replied, chuckling

- "Hey! he calls me sweet names! Just me!"- Penelope got all jealous and possessive right away.

- "Did you know according to some studies, the reason people in relationships use pet names for their partners is that they're harking back to their own childhood experience and their first love, which usually relates to their mother"- facts came out of my mouth faster than I noticed. I didn't have a chance to stop myself.

Derek frowned right away and (Y/N) bit her lips, trying not to laugh. Elle lost that fight and let out a burst of loud laughter along with JJ.

- "Are you trying to tell me I've got mommy issues, Reid?"

- "No, no, of course not!"- my voice was agitated as I shook my head and hands frenetically. If there's one thing I never want to do is get Morgan mad. He is scary when he is crossed, and back then, we weren't as close as we are now. Let's say I was a little afraid I might say the wrong thing. I always said the wrong thing... I don't know when to stop.

- "I call people pet-names too, once I get to know them, so don't worry"- (Y/N) smiled at turned to Derek with a smile- "And to answer your question, why did I join the FBI? I guess I tried to follow dad's steps. He is chief of police here at Quantico... and my older brother is a detective at NYPD, so... I guess I never really thought about it. I knew where I wanted to be."

- "I bet they are proud"- JJ smiled at her, and I held my breath for a second. I don't know why I did it; I just remember feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. Not because of JJ, but because I wanted to learn more about (Y/N). I wanted to know everything, but I had no idea how to ask her anything.

- "Well, my brother is very jealous since I joined the BAU"- she chuckled with a playful smile- "Now I'm dad's favorite."

She told us about her academy experience, and we all told her a little bit about ourselves. Morgan was nice enough to tell her everything about my degrees and IQ because, well, my IQ dropped to twenty when it was my turn to talk to her.

I found out she has a MA in Linguistics and was considering doing the DA, which she did. That's when I managed to speak, and we talked about our college experiences for a while.

- "Oh, no! I wasn't popular at all. When your dad is a cop, kids usually don't wanna talk to you or invite you to parties."- she explained as we stood at one side of the room. Talking to her on our own was a little bit easier than doing it with everybody else watching. I don't know why. So I took my opportunity when Derek was out getting more beer with Elle, and JJ and Garcia were in the kitchen.

- "Being fourteen and riding my bike to college didn't make me very popular either."- I confessed, and she chuckled

- "Sorry."

- "Don't be"- I smiled and looked down at my shoes- "I guess at a certain point in our lives, we have to start laughing about some of the bad things that happened to us"- her cellphone rang that second, and she looked at the screen with a small smile.

- "Sorry, I have to answer this, it's my boyfriend."

Boyfriend. I should have seen it coming.

I walked to the kitchen, defeated, and sighed. I left my empty can of Coke and looked at my friends.

- "I think I'm gonna go home."

- "What? No! It's too early, Spence!!"- JJ argued right away- "You never want to hang out with us outside work!"

- "Yeah!! Don't you want to have fun with us?"- Garcia begged and pouted. I wasn't sure I wanted to be there. I was very uncomfortable 'cos social gatherings weren't my thing (they are still not my thing anyway) until I heard her voice.

- "So, what are you guys doing?"- (Y/N) walked over and stood next to me

- "Who were you talking to?"- Penelope asked right away with a wink.

- "My boyfriend"- she was joyful, I could feel the happiness in her voice- "He just wanted to know if I was ok."

- "Boyfriend?"- JJ smiled, and I could feel her eyes glance over me.

- "I need to know everything!"- and Penelope hyperventilated right away- "How long have you been dating? Are you getting married soon? Is he the love of your life?"

- "Who's getting married?"- Morgan walked in and wide opened his eyes as he questioned the room.

- "(Y/N) is getting married!!"- Penelope nearly shrieked as (Y/N) shook her head laughing.

- "I'm not getting married! Paul and I started dating just a month ago; it's nothing serious."

I took a sip of the beer Elle gave me and sighed, staring at the bottle. I made my best not to look at Derek for the rest of the night. I didn't want him to give me any sorry glance or anything that might make anyone believe something that wasn't real.

It was a fun night, after all. After my beer, we talked; I felt a little looser and managed to ask (Y/N) about herself and told her I had overheard her telling Garcia she was a sucker for all nerd things.

- "Yeah, I'm a huge nerd"- her cheeks blushed with her confession.

- "I bet you can't beat baby genius here"- Morgan chuckled and tapped in my back, making everybody laugh... at me.

- "I've got the feeling I can top him... you have no idea the kind of geek I am"- she looked straight at me- "How many Star Wars conventions have you been to this year?"

- "Just one, you?"- I raised an eyebrow and watched her chuckle.

- "Five... last two I was in make-up and custom"- I wide opened my eyes as she bit her lips nervously.

- "And Doctor Who conventions?"- I asked her, way more intrigued than I had been about her before.

- "Only two this year, the academy and school got in the way of most of my fun..."

- "Do you have a favorite doctor?"- I had to ask

- "From the new series, ten, the classic Doctor who I have to say four."

- "Tom Baker is by far my favorite doctor of the whole series."

- "But you can't overlook the fantastic job David Tennant has done! He is the one who managed to charm a whole new generation with the show!"

- "Yeah, he is excellent! but he ain't no Baker"- I loved that conversation

- "Baker's popularity is 80% because he had Sara Jane, who is by far one of the best companions the doctor has ever had. She made him human and relatable"- she had a point, but I needed to argue with her. I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn't because Morgan's voice was louder than my thoughts.

- "Ok, geeks, you can ramble about your tv shows and nerd things some other time, now let's make a toast. To our newest member, we hope you feel welcome working with us, 'cos you are gonna see us way more than you see your boyfriend"- she chuckled at those words and nodded.

- "Thank you, guys. You have been so nice to me these couple of weeks. I've got the feeling we are gonna get along."

- "Do you need a ride?"- (Y/N) turned to me as I grabbed my satchel, and she put on her coat.

- "Thanks, but Morgan is gonna take me home."- I whispered, scared to be alone with her again.

- "Actually, kid, I was planning to hit the club right now, it's still early, and we don't get many free nights, so..."- he looked at us and shrugged.

- "You don't mind?"- I asked her, and she gave me the warmest smile.

- "I just offered to do it, of course, I don't mind at all."

- "Thank you."

I didn't know if I wanted to kill Morgan or thank him. Either way, (Y/N) waved goodbye to everybody and walked out of Garcia's with me, after thanking everybody for the hundredth time for everything.

- "Are you tired?"- she asked me as we both sat in her car. She started it, and the music that came from the radio was so loud, I nearly covered my ears- "Sorry! Sorry! I was rocking my favorite album on my way over."

She quickly turned off the radio and gave me a guilty smile

- "It happens when you drive alone a lot."

- "Did you know listening to loud music helps you liberate stress?"- I started rambling- "There is a direct connection between your inner ear and the pleasure centers in the brain. Shortly explained, when you listen to loud music, endorphins are released, that act on the opiate receptors in our brains, they reduce pain and boost pleasure, resulting in a feeling of well-being."

If I was going to work with her, I had to find a way to talk to her. Even if that way was to ramble facts over and over again. Anything was better than silences, I guess.

- "Yeah! and it also works like a stimulant, which I needed after the week we just had..."- I chuckled, and she looked at me for a second- "By the way, I noticed you have a problem with coffee and sugar"

- "I don't have a problem with coffee!"- I felt nearly judged by her statement.

- "And sugar!"- she added and snickered

- "You know you shouldn't profile other profilers"- I made my best to make a joke, and I guess I nailed it, 'cos she chuckled.

- "That's hardly profiling, Reid! that's just watching you prepare your coffee every morning"

- "Have you been spying on me?"- I could help but to chuckle at that conversation. I was having fun.

- "No way on earth! I just happen to like to drink coffee too, which leads us to the question I wanted to ask, it's still early; Morgan was right, do you want to have a coffee or something... I'm in the mood for something sweet."

- "And you were judging me for my coffee with extra sugar!"

- "I'm not judging you! I'm just pointing out that I noticed what you are doing and wondering how many cavities you already have."

I laughed. An honest, real, pure laughter. She has always made me laugh as I've never had. Like there are no problems, no worries, no traumas. Nothing bad.

- "I have no cavities, thank you very much!"

- "Fine! and are you in the mood for a late coffee and cupcake with me?"- I stayed quiet and looked at her- Don't feel pushed to do it just because I'm giving you a drive

- "No, no, it's not that. I just don't wanna bother you"

- "If I am inviting you, Reid, it's because I want to do it, not because I'm feeling forced to do it"- she kept her eyes on the road, but her voice was so reassuring I couldn't doubt a word.

- "Wouldn't your boyfriend get mad or something?"- I whispered the question 'cos I was scared of the answer.

- "Why should he?"- she looked shocked by the questions- "If he gets jealous, then he is not the guy for me."

I cut her a short smile and nodded. Her personality was so different from mine. It was exciting to have her around.

- "I could eat a donut"- and she clapped at my answer, thrilled with the plan.

- "That's the spirit! I know just the place!"

We talked until four in the morning that night. I don't know how I managed to do it, not because I was tired, but because I was very nervous. Well, I was at the beginning, but talking with (Y/N) has always come easy to me, somehow. To the guy who was never able to speak in public or with any girl, spending three hours in a cafeteria talking, eating donuts, and drinking coffee in the middle of the night was the most significant achievement.

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "How do you know a place open at this hour?"- Spencer asked me the very first time we were out together for coffee. It was already close to four in the morning, and I had started yawning, 'cos even with all the sugar and caffeine I had consumed that night, I was weary.

- "Sorry to break the news, doctor, but are not the only one with a sugar problem"- I licked a little frosting from my finger and grinned- "Sometimes after classes, or when I was too stressed studying, I would come here, get a coffee, a cupcake and just... do nothing for a while, just to let my brain rest I guess"

- "That makes total sense. The brain needs free time to process new information and turn it into something more permanent. Though the amount of time a mind needs to construct a durable memory probably varies from one person to the next, it also depends on the complexity of what that person is trying to learn"

- "Well, believe me, it felt like I needed two weeks to process all the information, but I only had half an hour if I was lucky"

- "Then you are already trained for this work. We don't have much time to do anything when we are on a case"

- "That's what I've seen so far... but at least you all get along. It would suck to be stuck in a team that fight egos and divisions."

- "Yeah, you are right, we are lucky to have very nice people working with us... everybody brings something different to the team"- I nodded at his words and looked down at my fingers as I tried to wipe the leftover sticky glazed with a napkin.

I had been working there for four weeks already, and I still felt like I didn't belong. Honestly, it was such hard work being there, not because they weren't a great team, but because it was more challenging than I ever imagined. Profiling and traveling all over the nation catching serial killers was... stressing, to say the least.

- "You bring a completely different point of view in every case"- he continued speaking and looked down at his cup- "And your knowledge in Linguistics adds more information to the profiles, which helps working faster and better."

I held my breath at his words. I knew he was just polite, just trying to make me feel better about my job performance these weeks.

- "I can assure you, you have been an incredible addition to the team"- he stayed quiet for a second, still just staring at his cup.

- "Thank you."

- "It's true; I'm not telling you this 'cos I think you need to hear it. I wanted you to know 'cos that's how we all feel."

I know I was blushing. I don't know how to take a compliment. Not that I get many, but it's always weird to hear someone telling you so nice things about your work.

- "Thank you, Spencer"- he finally looked at me and nodded. We stayed in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what else to say, and he seemed to be embarrassed.

- "Thank you, actually"- he finally whispered.

- "Why? I didn't do anything"- I was confused, but he was earnest about his words.

- "Thank you, 'cos you have been very nice to me, even though I am a barely tolerable person."

- "What? Barely tolerable? What the hell are you saying?"

- "I mean, I know I drive people crazy 'cos I am always rambling and giving unnecessary facts all the time"- I narrowed my eyebrows, not getting why he was saying those things.

- "You do not do that."

- "Maybe you haven't been here long enough to realize I am always giving facts, and..."- he was honest. He actually believed people were annoyed by him. It hurt me to know that's what he thought of himself.

- "I realized that within the first three hours into the job, but I think that's amazing."

- "People would always say it's annoying."

- "Why would they say that?"

- "Because... I know they do."

- "Well, whoever says or thinks that are assholes, I like your rambling."

Reid snorted, and I hit his arm with my knuckles softly. I really felt bad he was so insecure, and most of all, he thought everybody hated him.

- "I mean it, Spencer, I wish I knew half the things you know, and if being with you means having to listen to your rambling, I think it's incredible, 'cos it gives me the chance to soak some of that knowledge."

The way he smiled, it was like his whole face lit up. He blushed, obviously embarrassed, and it also blushed me, 'cos he was gorgeous when he smiled.

- "So please, don't stop the facts, not with me"- he nodded and sipped what was left of his coffee.

After another few minutes, we left, and I drove him home. We were in a small sugar rush; we were too tired to have a full effect. I knew all I wanted was my bed and sleep the whole weekend.

- "I had a great time tonight"- I parked my car outside his building and smiled- "At Penelope's and with you"

I was so excited we had finally talked and gotten closer. I wanted to be friends with him so badly. Why? I don't know. I just knew I needed him in my life, from that minute on.

- "I had a great time too"- he smiled and held his satchel- "See you Monday"

- "Yeah! See ya!"

- "Drive safe!"

- "I will!"

I got home that night and laid on my bed, fully dressed. I barely took off my shoes and fell asleep right away. I was too tired to think, too tired even to put on my pajamas. But I wasn't too tired to remember Spencer's smile while he ate donuts. His dorky glasses, the way he gesticulated everything he said when he was excited about a subject. I was glad I had finally gotten to talk to him for once. And I couldn't wait to do it again.

Back then, Paul and I had just started dating. I wasn't in love with him, but he was a nice, funny guy I loved spending time with. I met Paul a couple of months ago at a friend's party. He was fun to be with, and we had a lot of things in common. We were both into music. He had a band, I didn't back then, but eventually got mine over time. He was like me, nothing like my friends at the BAU.

I thought that was cool, 'cos he represented a part of me I didn't want to lose working at the FBI. I was terrified I was going to lose myself in my new job. I saw how it affected dad's and my brother's life, how they were consumed by it in almost every single way. It was why my parents got divorced. It was why my brother couldn't keep a girlfriend for longer than a few months. 'Cos work was first, and their job was everything. The crazy hours, having to answer every call, no matter how busy you were. I thought it was sick how work could be your whole life. I was decided not to let it happen.

Yeah. I had no idea what I was getting into.

Soon after I joined the BAU, the nightmares began. I guess nothing prepares you to see so many people die. And nothing prepares you to kill someone, no matter if that someone is a child abuser.

I took the shoot, didn't even hesitate. It went right between his eyes. It was him or me, I know that. He was going to kill me. But still, it was hard.

Derek turned to me as I stayed still, in shock. It took me a few seconds to even breathe. I had just killed a person. It wasn't just some random thing.

- "(Y/N), are you ok?"- he landed a hand on my shoulder, and I quickly nodded.

- "Yeah, I'm ok... that was fast"- it was all I could say and turned to him. He gave me a short warm smile and wrapped an arm around me. I flinched at his touch right away and held my breath again. I don't know if he felt it, but still, he didn't let me go.

Derek has that thing when he doesn't care if you want it or no; he will give you his love and friendship when he feels you deserve it. I guess I'm lucky to call him my friend. And he really pushed that hug thing I still have.

- "Are you ok?- Spencer's voice was a sweet whisper. He sat carefully next to me in the jet and gave me a warm cup of tea- "I made you the one you like"

Of course, he had noticed my favorite brand, 'cos that's what Spencer does, he takes mental notes of everything and never, ever forgets. I wonder if that's a good thing or not. I guess it depends on what you remember.

- "Yeah, just tired"- working at the BAU, you can hide any kind of feeling behind the "I'm so tired" excuse. Mostly because we are indeed tired the whole time.

- "It was an extreme case"- I sipped my cup of tea and nodded at his words- "Do you..."

- "No, I'm ok, I don't wanna talk about it"- he bit his lips as he smiled. We both stayed quiet for a while. He read (somehow, at a relative normal peace), and I drank my tea. I couldn't concentrate on anything, so I just looked outside and tried not to think about the unsub's face and how he looked when I killed him.

- "How was your first time?"- I finally asked him, and I think my question caught him by surprise, 'cos he nearly jumped on his seat- "Not your first time in the sack, the first time you had to..."

- "No, I got it, I got it"- he was already blushing, it was adorable- "My first time was actually the first time you drove me home"

- "Really?"

- "Yeah"- he made a pause and gathered his thoughts, I guess- "I didn't really go out to the field a lot before 'cos I didn't have my firearm qualification"

And suddenly I remembered how embarrassed he was about it on my first day at the BAU. Derek made sure everybody knew about it 'cos he thought it was hilarious. And I thought he was a jerk for making fun of him.

- "And did it affect you?"- it was a stupid question. I knew Spencer was a sensitive person; of course, killing someone was going to affect him in many ways- "I mean, how did it affect you?"

- "I couldn't feel anything at first"

- "Shock?"- he nodded and sighed- "Gideon said that maybe I didn't know what I felt and that's why I thought I didn't feel a thing, but that wasn't it, it was like I was numbed inside... but then when it hits you"- he murmured- "And you can't stop thinking about it"

- "I think it hit me sooner than I thought"- I closed my eyes and sighed, but even then, I could feel those empty dead eyes staring at me.

- "Wanna know what helped me?"- Spencer's voice was velvety and soothing. It felt relaxing talking to him.

- "What?"- I whispered and turned to look at him

- "Remember two things: you did what you had to do"- I sighed at that with a small smile. It didn't sound like something I could believe at that moment.

- "And the second?"

- "A lot of kids are alive and safe because of you"

Now, that made me feel a lot better. Reid was right. I did what I had to do to help people. That guy wasn't going to stop.

- "Thanks"- I managed to give him a slight smile, and he did the same.

- "I'm here to talk if you want to"

It felt like he was really making an effort to say those words. I didn't know why it was still so hard for him to talk to me. Maybe it was still a sensitive subject for him, so I did what I do best: I joked about it.

- "Thank you... I'll try to avoid the issue as much as I can, but when I collapse under the pressure, I promise I'll come to you"- he chuckled at my answer and nodded right away.

- "Great plan."

And a few days later, I couldn't sleep anymore. I kept waking up to those eyes. I kept feeling guilty for killing a child abuser who was trying to kill me. I relived in my mind that moment over and over again.

- "Babe, come back to bed"- Paul found me sitting by the kitchen island staring at a herbal teacup at two am. It was my third insomnia night.

- "Yeah, I'll be right there"- he turned to walk back to the room but hesitated and looked at me again.

- "Do you want to talk about it?"- I shook my head, still not taking my eyes from the cup. He slowly walked to me and held my hand - "Come on, babe, everything looks worse at two am."

And he was right. Everything seemed to be worse when it came to my mind in the middle of the night. But it didn't get any better during the day either. He cuddled with me in my bed and fell asleep soon after. I just stayed there, feeling his chest moving softly with his soft breathing, thinking I had killed someone, and it wasn't going to be the last time I was going to face something like this.

Spencer's point of you

Do you want to know something sad? I was excited we had an unsub in New York 'cos I had never been there. Back then, I didn't know my colleagues were going to tease me about it. I didn't give it too much thought. I honestly wasn't good at leaving my house when we weren't in a case. Most of my traveling had been due to work, and other than La Vegas and Pasadena, I hadn't been to many cities just to sightsee.

Why am I thinking about that right now? 'cos we were in New York the day (Y/N) gave me her first gift.

Everybody had made fun of me during dinner because I didn't know how to eat with chopsticks. JJ tried to teach me, which also caused hours of Morgan's teasing for the rest of the trip. Thankfully, they dropped the jokes when we went back to the police station to take one last look at the profile after we got a call out unsub had killed a cop this time.

But after two hours of thinking, neither of us was honestly able to give any new idea to the case. Hotch insisted we head back to the hotel to have some rest. (Y/N) was one of the last ones to leave, along with Gideon and me.

- "Stop looking at the board"- she said, standing by my side, bag in hand- "Let's go. Your big brain needs to rest."

- "I won't be able to sleep knowing I'm missing something"- I answered, not taking my eyes from the board

- "Come on"- (Y/N) playfully hit my arm- "You need your eight hours of sleep to be a fully functional genius"

- "You should try to get a full night's sleep as well"- I turned to her and watched her eyes widen- "What? Do you think I didn't notice you haven't been sleeping?"

- "No, but I thought you were going to wait until I had a mental breakdown to force me to talk about it; that was the plan, right?"

I tried not to laugh, but it was hard; she is so funny, though I knew that was a sensitive subject, it had been weeks since the incident, and it was clear (Y/N) wasn't processing everything right. If anything, her jokes were a coping mechanism to avoid talking or even thinking about what had happened.

- "We can also talk about it, just... talk"

- "I know what happens with me, Reid"- she whispered and looked around. Gideon was outside, no way near us, but still, she kept her voice low. It made me see she was scared he would hear her, 'cos she didn't want him to think she was weak.

- "I guess I just have to make peace with it. It was gonna happen, and it will happen again, it's my job, it's part of what I do, end of it."

I looked at her and nodded in silence. There was so much I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't shake the thought she was going to laugh at me.

- "Do you want to?"- I made a pause and took a deep breath. Yes, I was very nervous- "Do you want to walk back to the hotel? it's just a few blocks and maybe... fresh air can help you relax?"

I didn't mean to hesitate so much, but it was scary for me to ask her to spend time on our own. I don't know why. It wasn't just with her; it happened with everybody at that point in my life. I was sure no one wanted to spend time with me. Why would they?

- "Can we have a midnight cupcake?"- she asked and smiled. I bit my lips and pretended to give the idea a lot of thinking, though I was craving donuts ever since we didn't have time for dessert at dinner.

- "Just one, and no coffee"

- "What are you? The sleeping police?"- she teased me and led the way. We waved at Gideon and walked outside the police station.

For a rainy night, it was freezing. But I didn't care much. I was too busy looking around, it was technically my first night out in New York, and though I was just leaving work and walking back to the hotel, it was the biggest adventure I have had there so far.

For the first couple of minutes, we walked in silence. (Y/N) looked at her feet, hands stuffed in her pocket as I walked next to her, holding my umbrella for the two of us. I tried to take in everything that was going on around us. It was exciting, being there, alone. I was a twenty-four-year-old Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and I was excited to walk with a friend in the New York city streets. No wonder why Morgan called me "kid."

- "Did you know more than 800 languages are spoken in New York City? that makes it the most linguistically diverse city in the world"- I had to start rambling facts after a while because I guess I couldn't help it.

- "Vraiment?"- she answered, and I chuckled. Of course, Master in Linguistics.

- "Oui"- I thought we could have a whole conversation in french; it would have been fun and fascinating, but my French was very rusty, and I didn't know if she was fluent or just learned a few things.

- "When I was a kid, I dreamt about living in New York. I was obsessed with it"- she kept looking down at her feet as she spoke, and I turned to look at her for a second. She looked sad somehow, or that's what I read from her. I've always done my best not to profile profilers. It's harder than you imagine.

- "Why?"- she chuckled at her thoughts and kept her eyes on her shoes.

- "You know how they always make you feel no matter how weird you might be, you are still going to fit in New York?"

- "You are not weird"- I couldn't help but frown and look at her- "You are..."

- "I am weird, we are all weird, that's what makes us great"

I loved that thought. That's why I've never forgotten it. Lie, I can't forget. I remember everything we've said to each other because I want to, not because I have an eidetic memory.

- "But when you are in school, everybody is trying to fit it and be normal, and that wasn't me at all..."

I didn't see that coming, and I have to admit it, I loved it. I often felt I was an outsider at the BAU. Hotch, Gideon, Morgan, Elle, JJ, they all fit in everywhere we'd go. Meanwhile, everybody looked at me, wondering what the hell am I doing there. I could read it on their faces. The fact the team had to introduce me as "Doctor Spencer Reid" is a sign they are making an effort to make me look older and more experienced. Reliable, even.

- "Why would you say you are weird?"- I had to ask- "You look very normal to me, I mean it"- she raised an eyebrow and didn't say a word. She just pulled my jacket and dragged me to a coffee shop.

- "Cupcakes, Reid, you can't expect me to tell you embarrassing facts about my life without a cup of coffee and a mountain of sugar."

JJ always said I ate like a kid, too many pastries and candy, no salad. Meanwhile, (Y/N) kept pushing sugar into my body. I liked that. They were both so different. JJ treated me like I didn't know how to deal with life. (Y/N) treated me like I could help her deal with life. JJ wanted to help me grow up. I could feel (Y/N) wanted to be my friend, and I loved that. I had never felt someone longing for my company. It was always the opposite. I usually felt people were stuck with me.

For months I kept comparing the two of them in my head. JJ had such condescending manners, it sometimes made me think she might actually have feelings for me. Other times, Morgan would call her my mom, which took all the hopes from my mind.

- "What do you do in your free time, Reid?"- (Y/N) sat in front of me in a booth. Right in between us, a table with two coffees, a red velvet cupcake, and a chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles.

- "I read, study..."- I didn't give much thought to my answers- "I also write a letter to my mom every day"

- "That's so cute"- I felt how my cheeks turned blood red, and she smiled at me sweetly.

- "Thanks..."- I sipped my hot cappuccino and winced as the coffee burned my tongue, and she chuckled.

- "Slowly, doc, or are you in a hurry?"

- "Definitely not, I have no other plan, I mean, I could sleep, but I know I won't, and, and I know you won't sleep either, so"- the words left my mouth at such a fast pace, not even I got them all. (Y/N) nodded and started taking apart her cupcake, little by little.

- "That's awesome, 'cos I like hanging out with you, and I don't feel like hanging out with Elle tonight. We are sharing rooms."

- "You don't like her?"- now that was breaking news- "I thought you two got along"

- "Don't get me wrong, I like her. I just don't feel like being the version of myself I am when I'm with her"

I looked at her, not sure of where she was going. She took a piece of cake and ate it slowly.

- "You lost me"- (Y/N) sighed and ran a finger around the edge of her cup.

- "Are you really you the whole time when you are at work, Reid?"

- "Well, yes?"- I wasn't sure that was the answer she wanted, but it was the only one I had- "I don't know how to be anybody else"

That was the whole truth. That's still the truth. Maybe that's why I have never been popular. People say I have no empathy, that I can't read any social cues. If I knew how to be someone else, I would probably try to change that and be a Spencer that's entirely sympathetic and social, like everybody else. But I can't force myself to act differently.

She stared at me, and I could feel the frustration piling behind her small smile.

- "Do you want to know something weird?"- her eyes shone as she stared into mines asking the question

- "Always"

- "You are the only person at the BAU I feel I can be myself with"- she whispered and sipped her coffee again.

- "Thanks?"- I was confused- "But... you are not that different with me than you are with the rest of the team"

- "Well, I am... I don't share who I really am at work because I am afraid"

- "Why? What scares you?"- she sighed and laid back on the seat. I kept my eyes fixated on her until she furrowed her brows, staring back at me

- "Are you trying to profile me, Spencer? 'cos we are not supposed to profile each other. I'm pretty sure it was in the contract I signed"- I smiled, busted, and nodded.

- "If it makes you feel any better, you are hard to read"

- "I'm a good liar, don't tell anyone"

She was proud of her answer, and I guess she should have been. You have to be an excellent liar to catch unsubs, get in their head, play with them when you have to make them talk. I guess she was ahead of me in that area.

- "Well, If it makes you feel better, I feel more comfortable around you than most of the team"

I closed my eyes as I spoke, and I knew my voice had been so low and soft, it hadn't been surprising if she hadn't been able to hear me, but she did.

- "Is it because I don't like touching people either?"- she joked, and a small smile stretched across my lips

- "It is because you"- I stopped and rearranged my thoughts. You could tell she was eager to hear the rest of my answer, and I was making sure not to make a fool out of myself.

- "It's because it feels you don't judge me for being me"

- "That's exactly how I feel, Spencer"- her smile was so big it made mine grow bigger as well.

- "But, why can't you be you with everybody?"- (Y/N) took a big bite of her cupcake, feeling more confident about our conversation and nodding.

- "Mmm, this is so damn good, you should try it, Reid"

- "Answer the question, (Y/N)"- I ignored her random comment and asked again- "Why can't you just be you?"

- "There are two answers to that question, and both of them are real"- she finally confessed and bit her lips, playing again with a little piece of cake on the dish.

- "I'm waiting"

- "You know, for someone who said has all the night off, you are indeed in a hurry now!"- she snickered and stuck out her tongue at me.

- "Fine, here's the truth: I don't want to share my whole real me at work because I am scared people will judge me and think I'm weird and too immature for the job, but at the same time, and this is the second reason, I don't wanna show my whole me at work 'cos I am afraid I'll lose it along the way, I am worried the FBI will take that weird part of me and will turn me into an SSA."

- "You are an S.S.A., (Y/N)"

- "I know, but I'm afraid I might end up being an ASS, Reid"

Her joke made me laugh so hard, tears fell down my cheeks. And she looked pleased to see me laughing.

- "See? That's me, the girl telling weird jokes the whole time 'cos can't stand a serious "grown-up" conversation. Can you imagine this (Y/N) talking with Hotch? Seriously, Reid, can you imagine?"

- "No, I can't"- I shook my head, still chuckling, and took a bit of my donut- "But I would definitely love to."

- "Do you want to know what I do in my free time?"- my mouth was still full, so I just nodded, feeling a little guilty I hadn't asked about her when she had asked about my hobbies.

- "I ride my longboard and play bass, do you think an SAA should be doing that? Do you think Elle does it? JJ? they are the perfect fit for the role. I am that kid at the back of the class who got a stroke of luck and managed to hang out with the cool kids"

- "Am I one of the cool kids?"- I had to ask

- "Yes, Reid, why?"

- "I've never been one of the cool kids before"- she gave me a severe look and sipped her coffee.

- "Here I am, pouring my heart and soul out for you, and all you care about is being one of the popular kids. That's being a lousy friend, Reid."

She was joking, and we both chuckled, but my chest tightened at her words, and the smile on my lips grew wider. She called me her friend for the first time that night.

- "I think you are overthinking this whole thing, (Y/N)"- she sighed at my words and finished her coffee- "We are all weird, you said it yourself"

- "Some on us more than other"

- "Yes, but that's what makes us great and unique. I told you, your vision brings a whole new point of view to the profiles, and I know what it's like to feel insecure people will judge you for being too young"

- "I know, that's why I'm glad you are here"

I am sure I was blushing, and I am absolutely certain she noticed because I heard her giggle as I looked down at my empty dish and fidgeted with my cup.

- "And... are"- I stuttered and narrowed my eyes. I knew I had to stop being so nervous around her; she was my friend, she had said it herself- "Are you ready to talk about your nightmares?"

- "Are you profiling I have nightmares?"- she raised an eyebrow and questioned my question

- "I am staring at the back rings under your eyes. It's clear you haven't been sleeping and considering we both know you went through a traumatic incident, to call it that way, you are clearly going through night terrors or nightmares"

- "Did you go through the same?"

- "Yes, I did"

- "And how did you overcome it?"

- "I haven't. I just made my peace with it"- you could read the deception on her face. That wasn't the answer she was waiting for.

- "They will be more sporadically, I promise, (Y/N)"

- "That's what's scares me too"

- "What?"

- "That one day I won't have the nightmares 'cos I'll be used to seeing the darkness and horror around me."

When we left the cafeteria, it was two in the morning, and the night was freezing. It was no longer raining, and the cold wind could freeze your skin in a second. (Y/N) looked at me as I shivered and opened her bag.

- "Here, put this on"- it was a purple scarf.

- "Thank you"- I was so cold I didn't hesitate. The wool was warm, soft, and it smelled like her- "It's pretty"- I felt I had to compliment it, 'cos she was too nice with me.

- "I made it myself"- you could tell she was proud. I tightened it around my neck and continued our way back to the hotel.

I hadn't felt I could count on someone at the FBI as I did with her. She wouldn't think I'm a kid; she wouldn't be forced to hang out with me. It felt pretty good to have a friend again. Ethan had been the last one I had lost. I always lose the people I love.

- "Thank you"- we were standing outside (Y/N)'s room back at the hotel. I took off the scarf and tried to give it back to her, but she didn't let me.

- "Keep, it's a present for being my first and best BAU friend"- I felt profoundly flattered, and I'm pretty sure I giggled, blushing- "Besides, purple looks good on you"

- "It's my favorite color"- I confessed- "And I'm not saying it just to make you feel good"

- "Then you have to keep it. It was made for you even when I didn't know it"- she smiled one more time and opened the door- "Good night, Reid."

- "Good night, (Y/N)."

----------

Series Masterlist

Chapter two

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#spencer reid #criminal minds #matthew gray gubler #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #penelope garcia #jeniffer jareau #jason gideon #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x you #diwk

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wornoutmouse · 3 years

Note

I love you and your brain bestie that Denki pegging was absolutely delicious *chefs kiss*. Another request. Just a sprinkle of soft dom Deku coming home from a stressful day and just wanting to take care of his wonderful wife 🤏🏿💕 no specific kinks so you can add whatever you want, just a good old fashioned dicking down to de-stress

7-eleven food be smacking idc if it'll kill me in 2 years time..

Soft sexy times

Not proof read tell me if u see any mistakes

Deku felt as heavy as a bag of lead, barely able to lift his arm to lock the front door. Yousat rested in the living room with a bowl of popcorn in your lap watching "I love Lucy" as if you hadn't seen every episode more than a dozen times. Deku walked lightly so he could have a moment longer to admire you. "I know you're there Izuku." Your voice sounds like nothing less than a pure melody.

Deku plops down next to you on the couch, leaning his curly headed face on your shoulder. You lift your hand to drag your fingers through it just the way he liked, picking out any stray knots and tangles. "How was your day?" You laugh, kissing his forehead the best you could at such an awkward angle. "I should be the one asking you that." Deku wraps his arms around your waist as if he couldn't get any closer.

"It was good, if you're hungry I have steak, greens, and rice in the refrigerator." Deku shakes his head, "M'not hungry, had 7-eleven hamburger hotdogs." You grimace, "Thanks for telling me I almost kissed you." Izuku pouts on your shoulder before playfully puckering his lips. "Don't be like that, they are good!!" You lightly shove at his face, "I don't want your radiation grease on my lips."

A sly hand sneaks in between your legs, "But I want your radiation grease on my lips." The terrible joke lowers your guard enough for Deku to slip a hand into your sweats. "So are you calling me toxic?" Deku kisses your shoulder, "Only if you don't let me kiss you." You look at Deku and pinch his chin, "I'm prepared to make that sacrifice." Your faces come together in a soft kiss. No tongue, no teeth, only lips and affection.

There are three fingers inside you now, Deku's thumb is pressed firmly in on your clit, teasing you. In return you rub the front of his pants, the thin cotton providing little to no coverage when he begins to get hard. You squeeze the imprint before rubbing your thumb along the sides. It was hot to the touch and your skin felt even hotter as Deku watched your hand travel along his shaft.

"You are such a tease you know that?" You smirk, squeezing him again just so you could hear a sweet sigh fall from his lips. "Take these pants off and maybe I won't tease you so much." He follows your orders practically with hearts in his eyes. Furthermore offering him the pleasurable sight of undressing yourself before straddling his waist. You grind against him, rubbing his dick in-between your stomachs.

Izuku places his hand beside him, gripping the fabric of your couch. A faceless show casts a blue and green glow on your dark skin making it glow. "You never did tell me how your day was." Deku shivers when you sink down his cock. "Weird time to start this conversation don't you think?!" You shake your head and place his hands on your waist. "I don't think so, what better time than when you can take your frustrations out.

Izuku cups the back or your neck bringing you towards him in a kiss before ghosting his lips down to your chin. "It was okay I suppose, Kachan of course made saving people a competition." You reposition your legs before softly bouncing. "How was your day though?" You moan, lightly calloused hands gripping Deku's shoulders every time you make yourself feel good. "It was...it was so so good." Your words are slurred by your sinful acts making your sentences almost incoherent. "I tried c-cooking some stuff but it burnt"

You bury your face in the crook of Izuku's neck as he takes over. His hold on you is solid and every downstroke makes a loud smacking sound when your hips meet. "I missed you!" On the last syllable, you orgasm, pussy pulsating rapidly around his dick as he continues to fuck you. Deku's neck is pretty pink and small sighs leave his lips before he cums as well.

Later on Deku groans realising you forgot to use a condom and u gracefully remind him that you never forget to take yourbirth control. "I need a ring first Midoriya".

#black y/n #mha smut #bnha fluff #deku x reader #deku smut #mha x black reader

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wistfulrat · 3 years

Text

a 4-part rec list of my fave drarry fics - the thrillers, dramas, soft bois, and wankbanks getting me through 2020′s shitstorm

[the soft boi list is here and truly i’m not surprised this rec is going to be the longest bc if there’s one thing a bitch is going to do, it’s yearn.

as always! if you love a fic, follow the authors, leave kudos & comments, send them nice msgs bc free art is still labor xoxo]

part 3: soft bois

mood: for when I need respite, a balm to the all-consuming shittiness of life

includes: fluff, comfort, low-stakes, slow-burn fics. a wistful look, a rainy morning, an unexpected grace, a stupidly disarming joke. i could live inside these fics. the smallness of human lives removed from the site of that which hurts & irreparably changes. the story-equivalent of a deep breath after a long day. pregnant silences & pensive mundanity & shy smiles. banter with bite but without the cruelty. the color lavender. weirdly whimsical. soft fics are not necessarily conflict-averse (no drarry fic rly can be, considering the context) but, they offer the reader a generous distance from the initial harm. they’re the quiet cleaning up after a storm. sometimes healing is an exacting surgical knife and other times it’s a slow scabbing. you read these fics to be reassured that the way forward is not always ruthless. and honestly?? they deserve a semblance of peace godDAMmit.

The Way Down by @letteredlettered - 65k - T “and I thought that if someone talked to you as though you were a human being you might—maybe you could act like one” --the way i think about this line daily. the characterization of draco in this fic is one my favorites bc he’s earnest and neurotic and tired of harry’s shit. which is to say, he cares so so much. and harry doesn’t know what to do with that bc he’s got a monster in his chest and lives as a recluse. but they both humanize each other in ways no one else can. “you’re just a person” has to be some kind of drarry ethics of belonging and it makes me CRY. -

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them by @greaseonmymouth and dustmouth - 96k - T “Maybe it’s not about deserving it? Maybe you just get to have it anyway. . .I’m allowing myself to want something and to let myself have it and to fight for it.” --harry runs a daycare and also works at a library. draco spends a lot of time in said library. they bond over sci-fi books and therapy anecdotes and quiet philosophical conversations held over cafeteria soup. and harry’s struggling to understand his asexuality. draco’s learning how to live with anxiety and depression. they both want to be deserving of love. incredible fic with beautiful art by dustmouth. -

Open for Repairs by @drarrytrash - 35k - T “A few leaves rustle in the gutter and the muggle world pays no mind to them, to two lost boys holding on for dear life.” --all of their fics feel exactly like this. like you’ve been allowed to look at something private, tender, unexpected. draco, known abba fan, is a repairman in the muggle world & harry can’t stop breaking thrifted things in order to see him? say less, i'm thERE. also “I think I have a crush on you” goddddd - other faves by them: Counting Down By Ten - 2k - T: draco’s stepped outside of the party for a smoke. harry follows him bc of course he does. i could read this 100 times and not get tired of it. - Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon - 36k - E: FUCKING HILARIOUS I CACKLED THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. draco’s wolfy problem and harry helping him and harry being flustered by how much he likes draco and draco’s hot heroic moment. shutup it’s perfect. “He almost asks if Draco ever gets tired of being a miserable complaining shit all the time, but he knows that he, personally, never ever gets tired of being a miserable complaining shit.” and “It’s the traumas,” Harry says gravely” --lines that live rent free in my head -

Harry Potter and the Future He Doesn't Really Want, Thanks by seefin - 70k - E “That was the only logical thing to do here, wasn’t it? It was the next step, it was the end of hurting each other and the beginning of the exact opposite.” --harry lives with luna and neville and also he dreams about the future sometimes? and he keeps running into draco. draco thinks this is sus as hell, until he doesn’t. feat. taxi rides, museums, cinemas, rooftop conversations beneath a lunar eclipse, mid-sex innocuous banter, draco and harry discussing nicki minaj. this fic charmed my ass off. seefin writes the most effortlessly hilarious dialogues. i smiled at my phone like an idiot at least 7 times. - other faves by them: Wild - 93k - E: “he liked feeling needed, for the things that he was needed for back at the house in Ireland. For cooking and gardening and driving. Easy things.” --this shit makes me cry it’s so good. harry lives in Ireland with these three brilliant, hilarious, wandless witches and draco’s a potions student who's come to study under one of the housemates and the boys have so much shit to work through but their love becomes so tender and honest. draco yells at harry a lot and harry lets him and they both keep each other grounded in something real and fuCK. - Divination for Dickheads - 7k - G: “I’m terrible at having crushes. I’ve never played anything cool a day in my life.” -- oh harry, we knOW. a bus ride, a fortune teller, an aquarium birthday party. god i love this fic. -

Modern Love by @tackytigerfic - 61k - E “But we’ve worked so hard at this, haven’t we? Yeah, I know it’s a horror to have to talk about it, but fuck it. We’re friends now, but it took so long to get here. Have you ever had to work so hard at something before?" --the steady blossoming of their friendship in this fic is so goddamn beautiful i want to yell. it’s draco and harry learning to trust each other and the whole thing unfolds so slowly, in this whimsical mix of london streets, wizarding politics, church halls feat. a Hot vicar, and a magical antique shop owner who’s married to literal poseidon?? goD the environment of this fic. immaculate. [also there’s a tender shower scene that makes me cry every single fucking time so if you read this fic pls dm me so we can be embarrassing about it together tbh] -

Nice Things by aideomai - 22k - M “He kept waiting for the weird shock of touch to not knock him clean out of his head, leave him quiet and warm and happy.” --8th year. harry forms an unlikely friendship with draco that begins with smoking weed on a windowsill. harry is touch-starved and draco touches him like he touches all his close friends - like it’s easy. the quiet affection in this fic, the way harry burrows himself into touch bc he’s been without it for his entire life. reading this is like being held. -

Running On Air by @tinyhistory - 74k - T “do you remember when we were eleven?” --alexa play coldplay’s the scientist it’s sad girl hours and we’re about to fucking yearn. you’ve seen this fic rec on every drarry list under the sun and i'm here to be redundant. the hype is so goddamn real. this story is a lyrical masterpiece held together by lines that act as refrains that will rattle around your brain until you die, probably. draco’s been missing for 3yrs. harry goes to find him. it’s their odyssey of homecoming. -

Title of Their Sex Tape by @cibeewastaken - 12k - T “But Draco, Draco was everything but boring. Draco made sitting in the rain watching an empty house fun.” --auror partners pining and draco being eccentric and harry being very earnestly gay about draco’s eccentricities!! god this fic is so genuinely fun skskd feat. undercover missions, murderous faeries, a book heist, a stunning navy dress, harry’s eyelashes. -

How We Throw Our Shadows Down by @thistle-verse - 14k - T “Draco is about to say something else— to thank Potter for what he’d done, however poorly— but Harry is smiling at him again, and it’s so soft and perfect that Draco holds in any inadequate words, lest he spoil it.” --draco collects tea cozies and of course harry has the one he wants. the sad and tender gays are at it again feat. conversations in the rain at a train station, melancholy Blaise, muggle photos, wizarding e-bay, the Dursleys. -

Helix by Saras_Girl - 92k - E “Draco sighs in his sleep and Harry clings on to consciousness, needing to hold on, to give this tiny, insignificant moment the attention it deserves” --I think maybe you can describe every soft Saras_Girl story as giving tiny, insignificant moments the attention they deserve. like, this is an 8th year fic about snails and it’s full of whimsy, grief, compassion, and easy humor. an absolute must-read author in this genre if you want languorous, episodic fics full of distinct OCs and affectionate creatures. - other faves by them: Light up the Night Sky - 98k - M “Draco, sometimes you make my head feel like soup” --the one where harry is a fireworks artist and has a pet chameleon named ken. draco is on the wizarding arts council. they both pine like hell. - Headlights in the Snow - 71k - M “they stare at each other in silence, Harry’s heart beating so loud in his chest that he thinks the biddies must be able to hear it over the sound of their card game.” --the one where draco drives the knight bus and carts around the biddy club, a group of rambunctious old ladies who knit and drink tea and gossip. harry can’t help but fall in love with the everything about this. -

Follow the Water by @xanthippe74 - 38k - T “Harry’s heavy thoughts lift at the sight, like dark clouds blown away from the sun by the wind. The tent doesn’t feel so cramped and stifling now. It feels cozy. And safe. It’s the same feeling that Harry gets when he’s at the Burrow for Sunday roasts, when a group of people who care for each other deeply are crammed into too-small a space.” --harry wanders to the lovegood house on a sunday afternoon. he’s baffled to see that luna’s taken pansy, greg, and draco under her wing. what follows is a summer of forest walks, scavenger hunts, gardening, water fights, odd cakes, faerie rings, and picnics. so many picnics. i love the pace of this fic, the innocent return to childhood things, the way luna brings out the best in all her friends. reluctantly soft slytherins are just *chefs kiss*!! -

Going Postal (A 125pg comic) by dustmouth - T what. a. beautiful. ass. comic. the wizarding fashion, the textures, the character design!! harry travels a lot for his job as a resourcer. draco works in the regulations dept. they pine like a bunch of lovesick idiots via field report notes. god i love dustmouth’s art. -

All the Earnest Young Men by @tepre - 29k - E “Draco is twenty-seven layers of personality wrapped up in drama and humour, and a wit so sharp it still stings when he doesn’t see it coming. But there is something below that, too. Something that makes Harry ache just looking at him.” --the way i would lay down my little life for tepre’s characterization of draco, whom invented the word earnest. he’s a magical art theory expert and portraits are disappearing all over London and harry’s the auror assigned to this case. and well. they’re both so very avoidant about how gay they are for each other and it’s like!! shutup and kiss!! which they do in fact, shutup and kiss. -

Trenches by sara_holmes - 3k - M “Somewhere in the distant part of his mind that hasn't frozen solid, he thinks that maybe he and Draco are about to become more than auror partners, smoking buddies, wine-mates and co-inhabitants of a snow filled trench somewhere in western Scotland.” --the plot line here is literally “it’s cold and i need a fucking cigarette” but let me tell you how I never tire of the shared loaded-silences of two emotionally repressed gays. -

The Years Before Love by lomonaaeren - 13k - M “That’s one of the meanings of peace, he thinks, as Hermione hugs him...That he can do things slowly, softly, without worrying that they won’t be there tomorrow.” --andromeda taking harry under her wing and harry finding solace in teddy. narcissa and draco showing up and the tentative relationships that slowly develop in the quiet calm of andromeda’s house. found families and kisses in the snow and special xmas gifts ugh what’s not to love -

The Moon Looks Lovely Tonight by Omi_Ohmy - 35k - M “I want this to be a house where people are welcome, where they don’t have to be any one way or another” --in which harry collects lost things--owls, best friends, inept bakers, potions experimenters--and turns the mausoleum that is grimmauld place into a home. feat. your fave drarry tropes like shared-beds and reluctant waltzing partners. -

[part 1: thrillers | part 2: dramas | part 3: soft bois | part 4: wankbanks]

#drarry fic rec #drarry fic #soft drarry #OK FINE I RAMBLED BUT WHAT DID WE EXPECT #alexa play futile devices

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minimoefoe · 2 years

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What would you have changed about each era of nuwho?

I spent way too long thinking about this but uhh, if I had the power, this is what I'd do:

RTD

Mickey would be given basic respect, especially in Series 1/2. I get that he is supposed to be a bit useless bc that's the whole point in his arc and I get that the Doctor isn't a massive fan of him in the beginning and Rose is too busy being swept off her feet by the Doctor to care much about Mickey. I wouldn't change that stuff. But I do think there is a point where they're honestly just bullying him?? And it's really uncomfortable. I'd tone it all down a bit, make it less mean

I would also tone down Martha and Ten's unrequited love situation. Literally the same as with Mickey, she is just treated like shit a bit too much for my liking and her and Ten both come across as idiots. Just leaning into it a bit less would have made it a lot better. It overshadows the entire series, at least for me anyways

I would ban David Tennant from saying the word 'well' in that weird voice he does bc it drives me up the wall

MOFFAT

There's wayyy too many times where Amy tries to get with the Doctor. I would tone the scene at the end of Flesh and Stone RIGHT down but idk if I'd get rid of it completely bc I think it does serve a purpose, Moffat just takes it too far. And I would get rid of the bit in The Big Bang where Amy literally tries to kiss the Doctor at her wedding???

On the same sort of topic, after Series 5 I would stop doing those moments where Amy is talking about someone and we're supposed to be like 'oooh I wonder who she is talking about,' thinking she could be talking about the Doctor instead of Rory. Her and Rory are literally married at that point. The jealousy and will they/won't they shit needs to either be gone completely or at least not happen as often.

Eleven would not kiss Jenny in The Crimson Horror

I'd do something to fix Danny bc he could have been an actual great character but you can tell he was purely put in there for the conflict it would cause. Which would honestly have been fine if it wasn't done so poorly most of the time

Honestly might even change Danny into Dani and give Clara a girlfriend instead of making all her bi-ness be shown through sexual/flirty one liners

I'd sack of the Hybrid arc completely tbh. Which I guess would mean the Time Lords would have no reason to trap Twelve in the confession dial but idk, the Time Lords are dick heads so I'm sure we could just say they were doing it for fun or something instead

Bill would actually say the word lesbian at least like three times

More Missy on screen in Series 10

I'd get rid of the line in Twelve's regeneration speech about children being able to hear his name? Wtf was that

I love the endings of every companion in Moffat's era individually but when you put them all together, they are basically the same thing of companion dies but somehow actually gets to live again - Amy is dead in the present but it's okay bc she lived in the past instead, Bill gets literally turned into a Cyberman and then is saved by a puddle and lives again, Clara is killed by a raven but then the actually isn't killed bc the Doctor saves her and she ends up being immortal. I think the only one I would want to change is Bill's. I would just have her not be saved by Heather. Would make her ending hurt ten times more

I’d just get rid most of the general horniness that this entire era has

CHIBNALL

Honestly the main thing I would do is just make the writing less clunky. Bc as much as I loooove this era, there is no denying that the writing sometimes does not flow quite as well as the previous two eras. I don't think it's God awful like some people clearly do, but if I had the ability to fix it then I would. Maxine Alderton would become a regular writer

I'd explicitly state that Dhawan comes after Missy

I'd change every series, including Flux, to be 12 episodes bc Thirteen was absolutely robbed.

I'd zoom the fuck out. Why is the camera always so close on everyone's faces all the time??? I can't stand it. Makes me feel like I can't properly see the scene and get the full vibe

The TARDIS is way too dark and not very homey looking. Maybe get some more lights in there and throw a chair or two somewhere so ppl aren't being made to sit on the stairs all the time

I wouldn't kill Swarm or Azure. I think they have/had potential to become iconic returning villains. Chib really fumbled the bag with that one

There's probably more stuff but I've spent way too much time thinking about this so that'll do. Thanks for asking!

#*dwask #doctor who #inch resting that rtd's era is my least fave but theres less i'd change #anyways #if anyone wants to hmu with stuff they'd change #or lemme know if they think any of these points are dumb #then feel free!

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hermannsthumb · 3 years

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possible prompt for a university au: newt is the biology major who maintains all the fish tanks in the physics building at 11pm and hermann is the physics student who likes to wander the halls to think. newt accidentally flings water all over the ground and hermann trips, hijinks ensue.

earlier today I was thinking about how I wrote a college AU fic almost 3 years ago to the date, and how I wanted to do more bc its fun thinking about newt and hermann as dumb college students

----

Newt's not really sure how he ended up with the weirdest work-study job on the planet, but honestly, things could be much, much worse (he could be stuck down in the dining hall, or dealing with confused freshmen in the school bookstore) so he keeps his thoughts on the whole thing to himself. Every Friday at eleven sharp, Newt pulls on his grodiest t-shirt and a pair of long rubber gloves and treks all the way over to the physics department to set to work scrubbing down the fish tanks that line the classroom walls. Why does the physics department have fish tanks? Newt's not really sure about that, either. It's kind of an insane amount of them, too, more than even the marine bio department has. Maybe it's supposed to boost morale or something. Hey, look at these crazy cool tropical fish who get to do nothing but eat and swim in circles, sorry you're stuck inside calculating velocity and shit.

Whatever, Newt's not complaining about that either. Let the physics nerds have their fun. It'll be good for them to branch out a little, realize there's life beyond robotics club meetings.

Also, Newt likes the fish. They're cute. He likes to think they like him, too, because they're very well behaved when he has to scoop them out of their tanks and plop them into smaller fish bowls (the kind goldfish in movies always use). He's going to teach them tricks eventually—he had a beta fish once who would do a little flip when Newt tapped the glass a certain way because he knew he'd get rewarded with dried worms, so Newt knows it's possible. Just imagine, a hundred fish doing flips on command. Newt Geiszler, fish whisperer.

Yeah, maybe the job could be more glamorous. It's really hard to get algae out of the gloves, and he hasn't been allotted the budget for a new pair yet.

"Hey, guys!" he shouts as he pushes in the door to room 214. The fish don't acknowledge him: they just continue swimming in their giant tank. In and out of plastic plants and rock caves. The rock caves were a gift from Newt three months into the job, and so were some of the moss balls—stimulation is important for fish! He wouldn't want to be trapped in a glass box with nothing to do, either. "I bet you missed me. Ready for a clean tank?"

Newt always talks to the fish, even if they don't talk back, because he thinks it's important to build their trust. He'll usually keep a running commentary of his week as he scrubs the tanks, just get everything off his chest that he needs to get off. Stuff he's worried about. Stuff that went well. Stuff that went badly. Therapy's expensive, and Newt's student health insurance can only cover so much, but talking to fish? That's free.

That's also kinda why he does it so late at night and over the weekend. The last thing he wants is an audience. Because, one, talking to fish is admittedly weird, and two, no one wants a glimpse at Newt's psyche like that, probably not even the fish.

The first step in cleaning the tanks is relocation. Newt digs his stereotypical goldfish bowls and an industrial-size mesh wand out of the supply closet, fills the former with some of the special tank salt water, and begins the slow and arduous task of scooping out the fish and depositing them into the bowls. "I had the lamest week," he announces once he's about three clownfish in. "I was working on a group project Saturday—"

Then Newt stops, because he hears footsteps in the hallway just outside the classroom.

Serial killer, Newt's instincts supply helpfully.

No, Newt corrects himself, that's dumb. Why would a serial killer wander into the physics building at eleven o'clock at night? Why would anyone, period? He's probably imagining stuff. Lack of sleep, stress over his upcoming projects, residual embarrassment from his disaster study session Saturday, all of it culminating in Newt thinking there's someone there. No, definitely imagining it. Newt can only even get in this late to the department because his ID swipe card is set up with the right permissions—not even the physics students have the permissions he does to be in this late at night. Well, not unless they clean the kitchenette in the student lounge or something.

Or if Newt left the door unlocked.

More footsteps. Closer now.

Newt's pretty sure he didn't leave the door unlocked, because he thinks it locks automatically behind him, and he would have to literally prop it open for anyone to get in after him. But anything's possible. The door could've caught on a dropped pencil or a paper scrap or other weird shit that physics students leave around, and a serial killer could've noticed and taken the opportunity to sneak inside on the off chance a hapless young biology major was scrubbing slime off fish tanks in the middle of the night. Any minute now, Newt's about to end up on an episode of Unsolved Mysteries. The Physics Department Murder. The Disappearing Biologist. (Nah, neither of those are very good titles, but that's why Newt isn't on the creative writing track.)

Step-tap-step. Closer now; Newt's heart leaps to his throat. Step-tap-step. Step-tap-step. Pausing just outside the door of room 214. God, why didn't Newt turn the lights off? Why didn't he shut the door?

Newt reaches for the first vaguely weapon-shaped thing he can find—an empty fishbowl, because Newt's not going to sacrifice any of the fish for this—and, as the door swings open, hurls it with a cry.

The bowl clunks on the ground. Except it turns out Newt grabbed the wrong fish bowl, because (even though it doesn't shatter, thank God) water quickly begins to seep across the slate floor tiles towards Newt's serial killer, a pathetic little clownfish (Newt thinks this one is named Albert, because the physics department is made up of nerds who do shit like name their random pet fish after their kind) flopping around in the puddle. Newt's serial killer, meanwhile, cries out similarly, his arms windmilling as he loses his footing and slips backwards, his cane—

Oh, fuck.

The intruder is not a serial killer. It's someone possibly worse, actually: Newt's mortal enemy, Hermann Gottlieb.

Newt's not really sure at what point Hermann became his mortal enemy and not just some guy I have class with that I hate, but he can pretty easily say that they've hated each other since the moment Hermann walked through the doors of Engineering 101 and was deigned Newt's lab partner by the Alphabetized By Last Name Seating Chart god. Something about Hermann just gets under Newt's skin. It's not his prissy English accent, or his oversized sweaters, or his absolutely horrendous haircut, and it's not even that he takes every opportunity to savagely rip apart every single thing Newt says in class. Don't get Newt wrong, that's all super fucking annoying, but it's annoying levels he can deal with.

It's the stuff they have in common that makes Newt hate him. It's like Hermann's a slightly broodier and more angular mirror that reflects all of Newt's most egregious faults—his arrogance, his stubbornness, his social awkwardness, his desperation to be taken seriously—right back at him. It sucks.

Plus, one time Newt caught Hermann ripping down the flyer he put up on the quad for Anime Club to advertise his stupid chess club instead, and he's never managed to forgive him for that.

Newt may hate Hermann, but he's not about to let him land on his ass in a puddle of fishy water (especially not on a freezing November night) just because the subsequent bitching would be unbearable, and, yeah, it would be supremely shitty of Newt, so he leaps forward just in time to catch Hermann and his cane before he hits the ground. He's so impressed with himself with his amazing catch that it takes him a few seconds to realize that Hermann is shouting and probably has been shouting since he slipped.

"—bloody maniac! What on earth are you doing in here? How are you in here? Did you just assault me? I'm going to phone campus police, you wretched—"

"Hold that thought," Newt says.

He rights Hermann and snags the mesh net and rescues poor Al before it's too late, dropping him back into the big tank with the rest of his friends. Newt can't be sure, but he thinks Al blows a bubble in thanks at him. Maybe he needs to make friends outside fish.

Hermann is still yelling at him.

"I am going to tell the head of the department you're—you're skulking about in here after hours!" he declares. "You're a menace. Pay attention to what I'm saying to you, Newton!"

Newt sighs and turns around. Hermann's turned an interesting shade of red—sort of like an over-boiled lobster, or if he fell asleep in the sun for too long. Newt wonders if it's from embarrassment (almost falling on his ass) or anger (almost being knocked on his ass). Probably anger. "Look, dude, I'm sorry," Newt says. His face twists like he ate a lemon, and he hopes Hermann doesn't notice. Newt hates apologizing to Hermann. "It's my job to clean the tanks every weekend. You scared the shit out of me and I freaked out—it's just that, like, no one ever comes by this late. Ever." He decides not to mention the serial killer thing. Hermann might make fun of him for being jumpy or paranoid or something.

Hermann's scowl doesn't lessen, but he does nod. Plus, he stops shouting. That's as much as Newt's gonna get of forgiveness. "Hmph," Hermann says. "You clean the tanks?"

"Every weekend," Newt repeats. He realizes he got some fish tank slime on Hermann's button-up when he caught him. Oops. Hopefully Hermann won't notice until Newt's in the safety of his dorm. "Gotta pay for my textbooks somehow." Then he frowns. "Wait, so what are you doing here? I didn't know you had access to the building this late."

Maybe Hermann is the kitchenette-cleaning guy after all. But, to his surprise, Hermann sniffs and casts his eyes to his dorky Oxford shoes. "Er," he says. "It's just—I was having trouble working out a solution to a problem, and thought a walk might do me good. Chilly nights like this one always do. And I quite like this building at night—it's calm, and much quieter than my dormitory." He fidgets. "And—well—only don't say anything to anyone, but I rewrote the permissions of my ID card so I could come and go wherever I please ages ago."

"You rewrote the permissions?" Newt says. "What the hell, wouldn't you have to hack into the security system or something to do that?"

"Well, obviously," Hermann says.

Despite himself, and despite Hermann being his Mortal Enemy, Newt is genuinely impressed. "Dude," he says. "That is so badass." Since when has Hermann been a badass?

Hermann's eyebrows jump, and he blinks at Newt behind his dorky librarian glasses. What twenty-one-year-old wears librarian glasses? With a chain? "You think so?" he says.

"Uh, totally," Newt says. "What problem were you stuck on? The one from Saturday?"

Being lab partners for engineering means Newt and Hermann have to collaborate on pretty much everything, including their midterms. Their midterm is what they've been working on for the past two weeks. On Saturday, though, they met in neutral ground to work on it (a reserved study room in the library), and, after a stupid and massive argument that had the librarians hoisting them out by their shirt collars and threatening to ban them for life, Hermann called Newt an idiot and stomped off into the night. Newt still hasn't gotten around to giving the problem another shot. Whatever, they have another week before the dumb thing is due. Plenty of time. Hermann nods. "Yes," he says. "Er—that one."

Newt glances at the clock ticking away on the wall. Quarter after eleven. Hermann's delayed him a whole fifteen minutes. Technically, he reminds himself, he doesn't actually have to have the tanks scrubbed by Friday night—he has the whole weekend to get it done. Also, he kind of feels like he owes Hermann for attacking him the way he did. Accidentally attacking. "Listen, Hermann," he says, feeling totally insane for what he's about to suggest. But he kind of wants to know more about Hermann The Badass. "What if we went back to my place and worked on it together? I'll buy us pizza, and I have, like, a bunch of energy drinks." The pizza place nearest campus is open until three in the morning, almost definitely because they get all of their business from sleep-deprived undergrads. Plus, they have midnight specials where you get free breadsticks with every pizza. Newt could go for some breadsticks. "It might be...fun," he adds.

Fun? With Hermann? Hermann will think he hit his head or something.

But to his surprise, Hermann doesn't hesitate even a second before saying "Alright, then."

"Oh," Newt says. He honestly thought Hermann would put up more of a struggle. "Cool!"

"But I might need to borrow a jumper," Hermann says. "If you'd be so...courteous, that is. I'm a bit chilly."

For some reason, the thought of Hermann (Newt's mortal enemy, but also a secret badass) curled up in one of Newt's baggy sweatshirts makes Newt feel all weird and warm all over. He swallows a few times, because his throat feels a little weird, too. Too tight. Like he just ate something he's allergic to. "No sweat," Newt says. "Let me just get these fish back in the, um, the tank. And—" He waves his slimy, gloved hands. "Take these off. And clean up that puddle. Gimme—um, gimme like, ten minutes?"

"Of course," Hermann says, and gives Newt a small, terse nod.

From Hermann, it's a smile. Newt almost slips on the puddle he's so blindsided by it. Stupid Hermann, making him feel all weird and clumsy.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous

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seyaryminamoto · 3 years

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Do you think canon Zuko has any understanding of the idea of duty? That he, especially given that he aspires to political power, should act like his status as Prince gives him certain responsibilities? That doing what's best for the for Fire Nation or the world might require him to do things which make him unhappy or uncomfortable or require him to make grave personal sacrifices? Does he even understand duty as a concept?

Oof. Complicated questions, thus, this sat in my inbox for a veeeery long time.

I honestly, seriously, genuinely... don't think Zuko truly understood, at any point in canon, what it really meant to be a leader. I know many of us (and I think you, too?) don't particularly like the comics, but in my opinion, The Promise did a surprisingly decent job at highlighting several problems left in the wake of the end of the war, and perhaps unintentionally, this is one of the problems: upon becoming Fire Lord, Zuko is remarkably erratic, unsure of his choices, even seeking advice from his FATHER, of all people, because he has no idea what he's doing.

In the most favorable possible view of Iroh, he taught Zuko to be a better person. I don't entirely adscribe to this belief, but fine, let's concede that he did, or else this answer would never end: not just because you're a good person, however, are you guaranteed to be a good leader. Zuko, as we both know, is far from the best person in the world, and he is prone to making impulsive, emotional mistakes that can cause harm and trouble, and typically, Zuko doesn't face the consequences of most his actions, or the narrative just pins the blame on someone else. When we see this sort of behavior in a real-life politician, the immediate reaction we would have is "this guy is awful at his job", and sadly, I find myself thinking that quite often when it comes to Zuko's canon tenure as Fire Lord.

So... what is Zuko's concept of duty? Going by his pursuit of Aang in the first two seasons, duty is a task given to him by someone whose approval he seeks (in this case, Ozai) and he must pull it off, no matter what, to gain said approval. By Book 3, this logic still applies fairly easily to how Zuko acts over Iroh: I've highlighted in the past that the main motivation for Zuko's redemption is Iroh, doing right by Iroh, making amends to Iroh, regretting how he treated Iroh. He points that out explicitly in Ember Island Players, he does it as well indirectly by bringing up Iroh first of all, when confronting Ozai: this is his main priority. Ergo... I'd honestly say it's safe to judge that this is what Zuko regards as duty, as what he has to do. Iroh wants him to be Fire Lord? That's exactly what he becomes. The difficulties and complications in this particular line of work are taken for granted, and so, we have an outcome that was remarkably well depicted in The Promise, despite that comic's many glaring flaws: Zuko gets swept back and forth, twisted left and right by all the pressures and responsibilities, because he has no idea what he's doing as Fire Lord, and no idea/experience in how to be a real leader.

As far as I can tell, the core of the matter is that nobody really seems to have taken Zuko all that seriously as future Fire Lord. Ozai, evidently, wasn't training Zuko to be his personal heir. Ozai himself is a questionable source of information regarding learning what it means to be Fire Lord, considering he, as well, wasn't raised to take that role, just as he didn't raise Zuko for it. Yet Iroh didn't exactly teach Zuko how to lead anyone either, as far as I can tell: his lessons were meant to be of a more personal nature, and even then, Zuko had lots of trouble accepting most of them. Iroh's firebending lessons to Zuko were typically stunted in the basics because he was hot-headed and rash about getting to the intense and interesting stuff...

So: neither Ozai nor Iroh gave Zuko actual responsibilities. Ozai gave him a punishment Zuko was trying to endure however possible, a punishment he wanted to prove himself unworthy of by finding the Avatar and "regaining his honor". Then, Iroh punished Zuko as well by giving him the cold shoulder in Book 3, then he escaped and Zuko did everything he did, after betraying Ozai, to prove himself worthy of Iroh's kindness once again. It's not actual duty, the way it is in Azula's case: no doubt, Azula wants Ozai's approval too, but she has the madman's trust when it comes to finding her brother and uncle, to taking down the Avatar, and to conquering Ba Sing Se, as far as anyone can tell. I do doubt Ozai gave her all these missions at once, but he gave her the resources through which she pulled off ALL of them: she had the firebending procession, she had a ship, she had a train-tank, she had mounts... Zuko had a rundown ship that looked like a 1:10 scale version of every other ship in the harbor back in the very third episode: he was being punished. In contrast, Azula is entrusted with a mission, with LEADERSHIP, while Zuko has no visible, tangible, objective experience with the latter (consider how Azula steals the Dai Li's loyalty from under Long Feng: when did we see Zuko pulling off something like this? Even with Jet, Zuko was more of an associate to the Freedom Fighters, and Jet was still the leader).

I've always thought Zuko wasn't prepared to be Fire Lord, and the main reasons are the ones you indirectly point out through this ask: Zuko doesn't seem to treat the throne as a responsibility, but as his right. I won't get tired of pointing out that this was NOT Zuko's birthright, he was NOT born thinking he'd be Fire Lord: he was born to the second branch in the Fire Nation family. We literally SEE the day in which Lu Ten's death is revealed to him. According to somewhat official sources? He's ELEVEN in Zuko Alone's flashbacks. I, personally, think he looks a little younger than that, but I think that's the official wikia age, no idea where they got that info but that's what it says. Meaning...

Zuko, objectively, only had been crown prince for FIVE YEARS.

Zuko was NOT raised, not by his mother, not by his father, with the belief that the throne would one day be his (Ursa is gone before Ozai is crowned and Ozai clearly wanted Azula for the job rather than Zuko).

And yet, when you backtrack to the show? It seriously looks like that was the case. He clings to the throne in Books 1 and 2 as though he had no other purpose in life, as though this was everything that was promised to him (in contrast, Azula only ever indicates wanting the throne in Sozin's Comet: Part One). Even when he's an outlaw, discarded and cast out, he STILL talks about the throne, as though most his identity were built upon the notion that he must become Fire Lord: why? How come? Within five years, he's crafted his entire existence around being the heir to the throne? That's... a bit weird.

And a bit wishful, too. Which is why I commend that the comics show him struggling as Fire Lord, if anything they should've had him struggling MORE than that, because Zuko is simply NOT prepared for these responsibilities. He never gave any indication, any sign, of seeing it as such. He sees it as his right, his birthRIGHT. Why? Why more people don't ponder how utterly strange this behavior is, beats me. But it really does bother me that Zuko built his entire existence around being Fire Lord in a very similar way to how Korra built her own about being the Avatar. I have very little praise to give LOK in general, but the premise of Korra learning she was a person, a human, and not just the Avatar felt like the perfect parallel to Aang's story, where he was very much anchored in his humility and belief that he was just "one kid", and his rejection of his duties as the Avatar was meant to change gradually as he learned to accept himself as he was. Korra, however, never fully hit the mark with this subject, in my personal opinion... much as Zuko doesn't hit the mark either, since the show's only direct attempt to "deconstrue" Zuko's clinging to the throne happens in one dialogue, and his attachment to the idea is built up again, right afterwards:

Zuko: And then ... then you would come and take your rightful place on the throne? Iroh: No. Someone new must take the throne. An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko. Zuko: Unquestionable honor? But I've made so many mistakes. Iroh: Yes, you have. You've struggled; you've suffered, but you have always followed your own path. You restored your own honor, and only you can restore the honor of the Fire Nation. Zuko: I'll try, Uncle.

And there we have it. The only point in the show (that I can remember) where Zuko seemed to not feel worthy of the throne and questioned he should be the one sitting on it (RIGHTFULLY!), buuuuuuuut he goes right back to wanting it, right afterwards, based on how this single exchange was enough for him to be 100% determined to take down his sister, merely a few lines later.

As for his willingness to make personal sacrifices... some might say he was outright willing to die for Katara in the finale -- though I'll point out he was trying to redirect the lightning anyway, didn't do it as well as he should have, but he wasn't exactly, consciously, trying to DIE for her... --, some might say that he left Mai behind in the FIre Nation, and that as well was a sacrifice... but was it? We don't see him missing her, or suffering about her fate, at any point in time after SHE sacrifices herself for him in the Boiling Rock (my biggest gripe over this particular canon couple is this, tbh). I feel like the show generally presents Zuko's situation as somewhat... self-sacrificial? Especially in Books 1 and 2, and yet that's really not the case: it isn't Zuko himself who makes the choice of traveling to find Aang, it's a punishment inflicted upon him.

This particular view upon his circumstances makes it so Zuko is never responsible for... well, any of his choices? It's always someone else's fault, therefore, whatever he suffers through, there's always someone he can (and usually does) resent for it. Therefore... I can't genuinely think of anything Zuko sacrificed in order to come as far as he did. He was forced to let go of things by his father, typically, by Zhao as well, maybe, but even then, it's not like we saw that he has a super healthy and happy relationship with, I don't know, Earth Kingdom people (his only meaningful positive EK bond was with Jin, which went nowhere and goes forgotten after a single mini episode)? The Palace staff? The commoners of the Fire Nation (they just treat him like a hero and he seems awkward and distant about it anyway, like he can really just do without their worship)? He doesn't have other friends beyond Azula's own friends... thus, he doesn't sacrifice anything that really matters. And in a sense, some people might say he doesn't have to sacrifice anything at all: he already went through so much strife and struggle that why would he need to sacrifice anything else? But the thing is... you DO have to learn to make such sacrifices if you're going to be a good king.

So often, people who devote themselves to their jobs have to consciously neglect their families, to name one thing: Zuko neglects Mai and she explodes at him for it in The Promise, then he just tries to get her back at all costs in Smoke & Shadow, with no thoughts given to the fact that maybe he isn't ready to juggle both a relationship and the throne, that maybe Mai could be happier with someone other than him, someone who can give her the attention and relationship she's looking for... THOSE are the sacrifices I'd be referring to, personally, sacrifices where his happiness and peace of mind have to be set aside for the sake of something much more important than himself, and I expect that's the kind of sacrifices you're referring to, too. I seriously don't think he's ready to make them, and with the comics as reference, there's seriously no evidence to suggest he's prepared to accept these burdens that come with the heavy mantle of leadership and ruling. I've never seen any signs of him being ready for it, myself. Maybe I need to reexamine the show and see if maybe I'm missing something... but I don't really think I am.

The worst part, for me, is that Zuko isn't even doing the bulk of the things he's doing in pursuit of genuine happiness: he's doing it over a sense of destiny. He never stops to reason with that destiny, to wonder if maybe he doesn't need to be Fire Lord, if maybe he could have a life beyond that role. Book 2 veeeery briefly suggests he MIGHT be on his way to questioning that destiny, but as I've said before, I don't see the sense in Zuko's big change of heart after the Appa incident considering we don't really understand what he's learned, other than how to be the perfect nephew for Iroh, apparently. Zuko never really is happy, as he says in the show: his happiest moments are with Mai and they're only like a 25% of his relationship with her, everything else is a mess (and his relationship with her isn't exactly the core of his character, either). So, the way I see it... Zuko is even worse off than it looks at first glance. He's out to fulfill a destiny he has never stopped to reason with, a destiny he's 100% sure is his, despite he has only been on that path, objectively, for five years? Despite he wasn't raised all along under the belief that this was what he was supposed to be? If given a chance to be genuinely happy, what on earth would he even do? A lot of the growth I gave him in Gladiator was based on that particular question: is the throne really what Zuko needs to be happy? It doesn't look like it, even in canon. If it's not... then it's not happiness he seeks, it's some sort of sense of assurance that he's doing the right thing, according to the figure of authority he follows at a set point in time: by Book 3, said authority is Iroh, and Iroh wants him on the throne. His motivation, as far as I can see it, is as simple as that.

Long story short... I don't think Zuko really has a strong grasp on many concepts that he absolutely should have reasoned with and worked out in order to become Fire Lord. In a sense, he's way too young for the role he's given, for the heavy burdens he has to deal with, and I'll NEVER see the sense in not having Iroh taking the throne (beyond how "poetic" the creators and writers found it to crown Zuko to finish his story, of course), at least for a short time, before Zuko can be ready. This is exactly why I wrote things that way in my oneshot where Azula takes Zuko's role, more or less: Iroh serves as regent while Azula prepares for taking the full role of Fire Lord when she's ready. I love her, she's awesome, I absolutely adore her character... but I don't think an Azula who was sidelined and sent on a long voyage with her uncle for YEARS could possibly be ready for the responsibilities of being Fire Lord right away.

Meanwhile? Iroh was given leadership of military missions enough times that he became a general in the Fire Nation forces. By all evidence, he was Fire Lord Azulon's pampered and spoiled son, whom he DID prepare for the duties of a Fire Lord for as long as Iroh was born: Iroh literally had fifty-ish years of preparation, as far as I can tell? How is he NOT the better suited person to take the throne, if just temporarily, while his nephew learns what it really means to rule by watching him, or by maybe learning leadership by managing smaller duties first, a specific town or city, and then putting his knowledge to good use by becoming Fire Lord properly?

Eh... because it wouldn't be an epic enough finale for the show, I suppose. That's the only answer I can find for this particular question.

So... yeah. That got long :'D but in short... I don't think Zuko has a strong grasp on responsibility and duty, let alone on the burdens inherent to these concepts. Yet more reasons why his character's arc can't hit all the marks it should, imo, to make it as great as the whole fandom is already convinced it is.

#zuko-always-lies #more zuko meta #and it got long #:'D #if anyone needs a read more #let me know and I'll add it #but for now #it is what it is #you know it really is sad to write all this when I'm more or less making peace with Zuko via Gladiator #and actually making him reason with soooo much stuff #that he never really had to in the show #*siiiiigh*#he'll never be my fav #that much is obvious #but he could be MORE #and it's sad that he's not #very sad

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riathedreamer · 3 years

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You asked for it: live thoughts from Ria and @creatrixanimi watching RvB Zero.

So, after having a movie night the day before (third movie night in a week, actually, we are very productive) watching Neil Breen movies and “Cool Cat”, it was now time to touch upon Zero. Sadly, Zero does not belong in the “so bad it’s good” category, but alas, Ria had to spoil Haley’s innocence.

This is not a proper edited review, but just snippets of our live reaction while watching the thing together. We are not drunk, but this continued way past midnight for Ria, so maybe her brain isn’t fully functioning. Also, Ria is a potty mouth because cursing is easy when it’s not your native language. Enjoy.

Episode 1:

Ria: I can’t figure out if they were trying to do a Grif and Simmons parallel with those two random guards talking outside, the ones with the Wash retconning.

Haley: Their armor doesn’t cover their noses.

Ria: That’s gotta be cold. Frostbitten noses.

...

Haley: There is no exposition. Like, it feels like the writers had their idea and know what is going on, but we don’t so it just feels weird and random. It feels like a Marvel movie.

Ria: Is that a compliment? I haven’t watched Marvel.

Haley: Not a good one.

...

Ria: This episode isn’t that bad in itself. But it’s just there to establish that the OG characters can’t beat this new villain, but the new guys can, and, urgh.

...

Episode 2:

[The shot focuses on One’s behind.]

Ria’s dirty mind: Ass.

...

Ria: STOP CALLING HIM DAVID.

...

Ria: I like this character, but I don’t remember his name.

Haley: Raymond.

Ria: This is why we need a name system like with the Freelancers and states. Should’ve just been numbers all the way through. Except Eleven, you fucking whore.

...

Haley at the sight of Raymond’s phone: It’s so big.

Ria: It’s the future. I can believe it.

...

Ria: Here’s the thing driving me crazy. Axel is a normal name in Denmark. But like, only old people use it. I know two Axels and they are both older than eighty. So that’s when I think of when I see Axel.

...

[After the whole training montage where we are introduced to the characters, we are still confused.]

Ria: I can’t remember their names.

Haley: Well, they didn’t show all of them. They didn’t show One.

Ria: They did!

Haley: They did?

Ria: Wow. So we got all that tell and no show, and we are still confused.

...

Haley: When it comes to genre, it’s actually not that bad with the narrated tell and don’t show. If it wanted to be a cheesy/bad action movie, that’s a trope that’s used relatively frequently in the genre. It’s a bad action movie. But it’s not RvB. It’s kinda like a particularly bad Marvel movie.

Ria: You’re really not selling me on the Marvel movies tonight.

...

Ria: I know I’m just a sucker for Joe, but I keep thinking of s15. Like, here they just use the files as a cheap way to introduce the characters. But like, in s15, Dylan just read out loud Grif’s file, and it was not to introduce him, but like, to show the complexity of the characters and go against the files? I don’t know, it just seems way cooler now.

...

[After the whole “what’s East’s deal” scene, we were so confused. Literally paused for five minutes trying to figure who was whose dad and why and what. How many daughters did Axel have? And where are they? We were just lost. Future Haley: Him waxing poetic about his daughters while watching the two girls in his team train confused me like I thought he was talking about East and One and couldn’t count sdfghjk. Future Ria: I’d even watched the show before and I was still confused.]

Ria: I can’t figure out if they’re too fast or if we’re just stupid.

Haley: It’s like I’m trying to remember the details but it all slips through my fingers.

Ria: The whole Zero experience is to feel too old for this shit.

...

Ria: STOP FUCKING CALLING HIM DAVID

...

One: This is how it’s done, grandma.

Ria: Fuck you.

...

Episode 3:

Haley: People would like it if they love dumb action shows. It works as a mindless action show.

...

Haley: So this is a temple?

Ria: I hate the worldbuilding. Is this the same planet as before? Like, Chorus had temples, but it also had lore about it. Is this the same sort of temples?

Haley: So shouldn’t this temple have its own key? Why do they need to include Tucker? It makes no sense for the temple to require a totally different sword from a different planet.

Ria: So they could beat him up ‘cause OG characters are weak now.

...

Haley: I don’t like the training scenes. They are so long and boring.

Ria: This is like the third episode where they are training. Holy shit.

...

Haley: It’s not that bad. But if you like Red vs. Blue, it’s not something for you. They aren’t really comparable.

Ria: I just don’t understand what they wanted to continue for Red vs. Blue. Like, it’s not the worldbuilding or the plot or the characters. I just don’t get it.

...

Haley: Raymond is the best character.

Ria: I like Raymond.

Haley: He’s RvB. He should be the main character.

...

Ria: Did East just use the “I’m not like the other (girls)” line?

Haley: I don’t like her. She’s a brat. Why did Carolina have to apologize? They were just training, this is something she’s gonna have to deal with on a daily basis lmao.

Ria: Didn’t Carolina have a cast on her arm? It’s gone now. I can’t keep up with the timeline. So, she’s healed, but how long was Wash gone? They are so vague about everything. Worldbuilding, timeline, motivations.

...

Ria: …Did Carolina just say she’d suit up? While wearing a full armor suit?

...

[And this is where the cursed part takes place. To talk, we’d often pause the thing. Here, I randomly paused during the introduction for Starlight Laboratories. There’s a desk in the shot. With a fucking marker on it.]

Haley: That’s a Crayola marker. That’s a Crayola marker on the table.

Ria: Glad we can appreciate the details by pausing.

[Haley then missed the entire Axel flashback scene because she was too busy looking up pictures of Crayola markers. When this is revealed, Ria lost it for like, three minutes]

Haley: I had that marker as a kid.

Ria: So 4/5 stars for the marker?

Haley: They were supposed to smell like blueberries or something but they just smelled like chemicals.

Ria: This is the most excited we’ve been about Zero so far.

[Future Haley: I was literally laugh-crying you dont understand. This was the best part of the show.]

...

Episode 4:

Ria: They all have super powers. It’s so weird.

Haley: I keep thinking they are gonna explain stuff. But they don’t. So I’m just confused.

...

[Haley has now brought forth all the markers in her room to find a Crayola one. She drops them all on the floor. Ria loses it again.] [Future Haley update: I found a yellow one it smells like lemons :)]

...

Ria: They are all glowing and have super powers. It’s weird. Like, I know we had super powered armor before but that was all connected to AIs. I don’t get how all of this works. They don’t have AIs.

...

[We both agree that we enjoy Raymond and Tiny. Bless them.]

...

Ria: It’s weird. The dialogue is so oblivious, it comments on its own mistakes. Like, Carolina just acknowledged Wash has had a computer in his head before. But they don’t acknowledge the whole canonical lore about his trauma regarding computers in his head and why he’d hate this. Same with the name David. They just noticed that it’s his first name and that’s how they’d show how close Carolina is with him, but they didn’t acknowledge the canon lore that Wash dislikes people using his first name.

...

Episode 5:

Haley: Why didn’t they use Locus’ sword instead. It’d make more sense. He’s the one travelling around planets and wanting to help people??

Ria: What’s the worldbuilding here? Is Tucker on the same planet? Is this Earth? Chorus?

...

Haley: Gotta love it when they make Tucker hit on teenagers.

Ria: Oh god why did they make East 18.

...

Haley: They should have done something with the Warthog song, even if that’s a Red Team thing.

Ria: I miss Red Team.

...

Ria: Wait, so if these three swords are connected, why can the two first ones move by themselves and they have like super powers connected to them? When Tucker’s sword is just boring? They didn’t even make a joke about how the two new swords are longer than Tucker’s.

...

Tucker: I’m fine, I have my sword.

Ria: That line is so tragic in hindsight.

...

One: It’s Tucker. He is dead.

Carolina: Oh my god.

Haley: *laughs her ass off*

...

Haley: I don’t understand why anyone is doing anything.

Ria: Your brain is still thinking about that fucking marker.

...

Episode 6:

Ria: The dialogue did it again! Wash just said “amazing medical tech”. Like, he points out a plot hole. Because that amazing tech can heal brain injuries and bring people back from death, but East had to be tortured for years to heal her vague illness? Like, why couldn’t their amazing tech fix that.

...

[While watching the design of the temple.]

Ria: It looks like those are just plates glued to the wall. Dinner is served.

...

Haley: There is no logical reason why they brought in Tucker. His sword isn’t even from this planet.

Ria: To lure in fans.

...

Haley in a very sad voice: The speech wasn’t good.

...

Episode 7:

Ria: Is all of this happening on the same planet? They keep driving. The worldbuilding is so weird. At least earlier RvB made a joke about how they could just drive everywhere. This is like a big desert, a training base, laboratory, city and temples and Tucker’s workplace, and I don’t know if it’s even on the same planet.

...

Ria: Diesel is just standing there waiting while they outfit Carolina.

Haley: It’s like a video game.

...

Ria: The temple’s walls are filled with runes.

Haley: It feels like a free/bought asset. It doesn’t even look like the temples on Chorus. It looks like something in WoW or something like that.

Ria: It’s driving me mad. I can read runes! Imagine a big boss fight and the freaking alphabet is plastered on the walls. That’s what I’m looking at.

...

Haley: Zero is such a boring villain. It’s not interesting when we don’t know what this “power” actually is or what he wants to do with it.

...

Ria: That’s the helmet Spencer wore.

Haley: Oh god I forgot about him.

Ria: So did the writers.

Haley: Spencer should have been the real villain.

...

Haley: *sees the random model of the temple guardian alien* I miss Santa.

...

Episode 8:

Ria: The aliens are just dancing in the background while Carolina is fighting Diesel.

Haley laughing: Oh my god, they are. They are just jumping up and down.

...

Ria: So, the villain just turned overpowered, and the solution is that Raymond just flicks a switch we haven’t heard about and now the heroes are overpowered too?

Haley: It just makes them shiny. And like... they don’t even use the “power”, they don’t fight him with their powers which only some of them have, they just shoot their ordinary guns at him while doing unnecessary flips.

Ria: I just remembered Church’s dick switch. That had more dramatic buildup.

...

Axel: You’re too cocky for that.

Ria’s dirty brain: Cock.

...

Post Zero thoughts:

[Ria returns from bathroom break and Haley is proudly showing off her marker over video cam.]

Haley: There was too much going on so I just focused on the marker.

Ria: So how many stars would you give it?

Haley: It’s really bad.

Ria: How many stars for marker representation?

Haley: Three out of five. It was only there for a second.

...

Haley: In the beginning, it wasn’t that bad. It was dumb, but also fun and sorta cool. But then it just went on for too long and they didn’t explain anything properly and it stopped being fun really fast. But I can see why some people might enjoy it. Like, you’d love it for its action but only that. Not for plot and/or the character writing.

Ria: I think my biggest problem is the worldbuilding. They kept everything so vague because they didn’t want to connect, not really. Like, where is this happening? When? Why are Carolina and Wash there? Like, the motivations for all the characters were so vague as well.

...

Haley: Raymond was great. He had personality and some good lines. And he felt like RvB. Like, he used his brain and actually got shit done, but he also wasn’t over-powered. He followed a similar character arc to what the Reds and Blues had. He sucks at fighting but he’s efficient and smart in a practical way with his rocket launcher. He does the most and he doesn’t stop being a goofball! Even Zero was focused on stopping him the most at the end. And he didn’t need to do any stupid flips.

...

Haley: The borrowed assets annoyed me. It ended up looking stupid, like, the temple felt more like fantasy than science fiction. And nothing like Chorus. And normally, RvB doesn’t have to worry about being cohesive because all of the designs are from Halo so it all makes sense and it’s connected. But this is just so random it feels distracting, I feel like this is a big reason people felt that Zero was so jarring… but on a subconscious level. It just felt off and there was no cohesive design. Also everything looked like it was made for video games and not modified at all for the show.

...

Haley: Honestly I was optimistic at first but then I got confused really fast and it kept getting worse because it was so fast. They didn’t explain stuff properly or at all. Like, they made it too big. Should have been smaller. I thought going with the “Starlight Labs is evil and needs to go down” plot would have been A LOT better and would have tied together multiple aspects of the story that the temple plot didn’t.

Ria: If I had the power which I don’t, I dunno, but I if the main point was to introduce new characters, I’d keep them tied to lore and worldbuilding we already know. So we don’t get so confused and it doesn’t feel so disconnected. Like, I’m still in love with the idea that it should have been Carolina on Chorus dealing with these soldiers who have been fighting all their lives and now don’t have to do that anymore. But maybe Chorus still needing an army, and that’s why she is training it. I don’t know, but like, familiar, build on what we know. And then they wouldn’t be superpowered, but like, just competent-ish but normal soldiers and we’d get to know them better, but I just think Zero just wanted them to be these super cool soldiers even better than Carolina so they could pull off all the fight scenes. ‘Cause it’s all Zero has going for it. The fight scenes. It’s its strength and weakness ‘cause they sacrificed everything else to look cool. And it does. But it’s boring and there is nothing else going on.

...

Ria: I’m still so annoyed about the temples. Why are they there? Like, on Chorus it was a big thing, also plotwise, but it had lore connected to it and the worldbuilding explained it. So, where are these temples? A different planet, right? Is it the same aliens? Are people just cool with the temples? Why haven’t they been explored before. Chorus made sure to explain all of that.

...

Haley: The West and East scene-

Ria: Feast.

Haley: Confused me. ‘cause West didn’t really regret anything. He just said why he did it. And then all of the sudden East forgave him and rejoined the team. It was so weird. He doubled down on the thing she hated him for so much I was like “Wow he’s kinda an asshole” and then all of a sudden she was on his side? What?

...

Haley: Zero does its job if you want action and nothing else. And it’s not RvB. Don’t watch it if you like RvB. And I just want to acknowledge that we are nitpicking. Quite a bit. I’ll admit that. But, I wouldn’t nitpick the other RvB seasons the same way because the old RvB never took itself seriously the way Zero did.

Ria: I agree. We are nitpicking. But like, that’s why we have the movie nights.

Haley: But we are also allowed to criticize it. You can do that with any season. And with the other seasons, you could nitpick it and you can find stuff you don’t like, but there are always stuff you do like or that other people like. I just can’t find anything about Zero that I like. Besides Raymond.

Ria: Yeah. Like, I really love 15. And it had so many flaws people pointed out. And when it comes to criticism and Zero, I just don’t see many points about why people like it. They are allowed to do that though. But, like, we could have a movie night where we watch the Chorus seasons and we’d nitpick so much because we both have issues with it, but there is still so much stuff we’d still like.

Haley: I like Raymond though. He’s like Grimmons lovechild.

Ria: No. Fuck you. Don’t put that in my brain.

...

Haley: Raymond being in this… I want to say it feels like the Freelancers seasons but if Grif was part of the team or something. But that’s just “Hit and Run”. *laughs*

Ria: NO! That’s cursed. Shut up. Also, the Freelancers were way better written.

Haley: And those seasons made better sense.

Ria: And like, the Freelancer seasons did the thing with change of tone and have these new and super cool characters and fight scenes. But they kept half of the seasons to be around the Reds and Blues so we still had the humor and the dumbasses, and Zero just, it didn’t connect.

...

Haley: So, I have some thoughts on Zero.

Ria: I know, you fuck, I had to write them all down by hand.

Haley: I like bad movies, actually, but Zero didn’t stay fun, so no, I didn’t enjoy it.

...

Ria: Do you forgive me for making you watch Zero?

Haley: Yeah.

Ria: What should we watch next?

...

Also, Haley dressed up her dog for the event and you all deserve to see her:

#we asked you answered we delivered #like most of these are just stupid observation #but we do have some proper reflections on the good and the bad and the ugly #and markers!#rvb zero critical

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