#{like THATS WHAT DR HAS BEEN DOING THE WHOLE TIME AND 15 SAID: NO MORE! CONSIDER THIS 14S RETIREMENT.}
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A Dinner and A Future
Fluff | Spencer Reid x Reader
Summary: Spencer just wants your first date to be perfect and surprisingly, it goes really well.
Word Count: 3,7k.
Warnings: some cursing, first date nerves, but that's it. just pure mindless fluff.
Writer’s Note: Hello! I've been going through a writing dry spell and the thing that solved it was writing this. I've been seeing a lot of edits on tiktok about Spencer's traumas and I just wanted to give him something simple and happy. I was also listening to Kodaline on repeat while reading this, so yeah it's going be hella sappy. Enjoy! <3
Gif is mine. Lesley Smith-Juniment, you have my heart.
Spencer is nervous.
Wait no, scratch that, nervous is not good enough. He was brimming to the edge with worry and queasiness. What other synonyms does nervous have? Spencer was antsy, anxious, perturbed, uneasy, at this point he can recite the whole thesaurus.
Spencer closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe. He can do this. He has waited for this for a long time and he won’t waste it because of burnt pasta.
Okay, he looks back at the note that David Rossi himself wrote in his own special handwriting.
1. Cook 1 pound pasta until Al Dente. Boy Genius, Al Dente should be firm when bitten. You cook it on a boiling water with salt and oil. SALT AND OIL.
2. While that’s cooking, do nothing. LITERALLY DO NOTHING. Watch it. Do the sauce later. In some miraculous way, if you don’t watch the pasta you’ll burn it.
A grin spreads across Spencer’s face as he puts down the paper and reaches for the fettuccine pasta and dropping it on the boiling water (which he measured with measuring cups he borrowed from JJ)
“Okay, now I wait for it to boil.” Spencer stares at the pasta as it cooks. Did he buy enough parmesan cheese? or enough pecorino cheese? Oh no. He looks over the other side of his counter where all the (complete) ingredients sit and he sighs in relief as if he hasn’t checked it 15 times since he started.
The pasta was still cooking and isn’t going to be firm anytime soon. Spencer ponders if he should just cook the sauce while waiting but he knows he’s going to mess it up if he doesn’t give it his undivided attention.
He looks at the watch on his wrist as it ticks to 5:21. He has one hour, thirty nine minutes and forty six seconds. He still has time before the date. The date with you.
It took him nine months, Derek and Emily annoying him to death to just ask the pretty librarian out, one extensive background research from Penelope, two separate talks of the “You deserve to be happy” advice from JJ and Hotch and one lecture about marriage from Rossi to finally ask you out.
He’s kinda annoyed really because he spent so much time thinking about you and thinking of the perfect way to ask you out but he shows up at the library you work at one day with a cup of coffee in hand and his heart on the other.
You didn’t even hesitate. There was no pause to process what he asked, there was no questions following the embarrassing stumbling of the words, “W-will you go have d-dinner with me? L-like a date... Date?” You immediately said yes with a small hop and the biggest smile on your face.
This date has to be perfect. He asked you to come to his apartment at 7. Spencer would’ve picked you up but he was making you a home made dinner and the date was taking place on the rooftop of you apartment, which Penelope and Derek helped him decorate with lights.
He tries the pasta and when its finally firm to the bite, he takes this as his queue to read the paper again. Of course, he can remember all of the instructions but Rossi still wrote it down and reading it calms his nerves.
3. If its cooked, drain your pasta water but leave a little pasta water on the side. Then you can continue.
4. In a pan on MEDIUM heat (just around 2-3 on the stove setting) cook one pound diced pancetta and 1 cup chopped onions in olive. Put this down and chop chop!
Spencer puts the paper down as he follows the instructions to drain the pasta. After he was done with it he puts the pan on the stove and starts chopping up the ingredients he needs.
Cooking is strangely calming. He never thought he’d find it calming. He always found himself burning stuff. So he sticks to the microwaveable meals and fast foods, even if he knows the statistics about these kinds of food.
After finishing the chopping he reaches over the paper and reads it again.
5. Are you done? Okay. Put the chopped stuff on the pan with olive oil and cook it until the pancetta is browned and onions are soft.
He immediately follows the instructions written. The onion and pancetta create a silent hiss as it hits the pan. As it cook he looks down again.
6. That’s going to take a while, so leave it but stay by its side. I am giving you permission to do two things at once. Dr. Reid, please be mindful of it.
Spencer rolls his eyes before proceeding to #7.
7. Combine the two cheeses. Then divide it in half. Then pour the half into 4 egg YOLKS. Just yolks! The yellow ones! Then beat it lightly until its really combined.
He has already separated the egg yolks from the whites (a job he didn’t think would be that hard but was surprisingly very hard) before he started cooking. He adds the combination of cheeses to the eggs and lightly beats it as he watches the pan of onions and pancetta sizzle.
When done with the egg and cheese combo, he gives the pan a stir before looking back down.
8. Is the egg done? Yes? Good. Is the pancetta and onion good? Yes? Good.
9. Okay, now you put your pasta in the pancetta pan.
10. REMOVE IT FROM THE HEAT! REMOVE IT!
Spencer follows the instructions to the T. He puts the pasta on the pancetta, gives it a stir and immediately removes it from the heat. He sighs in relief. He hasn’t burned anything yet.
11. You haven’t burned anything yet? I am proud of you.
12. Now, pour the egg mixture into the pan and toss the pasta until coated. TOSS IT GENTLY. If you’re scared use tongs.
13. Pour about 1/4 cup of the pasta water I told you to set aside earlier. You don’t have to pour all 1/4 cup, just until you get the creaminess you want.
Spencer reaches over the nearest tongs. He’s not going to toss anything tonight that involves pastas or pans. He’s taking the safe road because he wants everything to be perfect.
14. Add the rest of your cheese! Toss some more and then add salt and pepper as NEEDED!
15. You can serve it with parsley.
16. Now, go take a shower and change into some cleaner clothes.
17. Just be you and have fun, Spencer. Goodluck! :)
Spencer smiles as he puts the paper down and makes the finals touches to the pasta. He starts doing what was instructed and it surprisingly, ends up in the perfect texture. Just like the one he tasted when Rossi had a pasta night.
He was proud of himself as he takes it off the stove and makes sure that all the stoves are turned off. There was this report he read in 2018, that cooking and leaving the stove open was the leading cause of home fires.
He takes the food, puts it into a fancy tupperware (another thing he borrowed from JJ) and puts it in the microwave. He cleans up a little and stuffs the pans and pots to the dishwasher, because you are coming in his apartment even for a second.
He starts getting himself ready for the date with a shower. As the warm water glides through his body he thinks of how funny life could be.
Spencer first meets you in the library. He has not slept well in weeks so instead he opts to go to the library to get some reading done. But as soon as he sits in one of the (surprisingly) comfortable leather chairs, its as if sleep knocks him out. It wasn’t until the closing time that you wake him up and he thinks that you were an angel sent for him. This elicits a giggle from you.
“I am sorry, I am not an angel. I am just the librarian and we’ve been close for over an hour now. I just didn’t want to wake you up. You looked like you really needed that sleep.” Spencer immediately jumps to his feet as he apologizes profusely to the kind librarian, “Oh, it’s okay! Don’t say sorry. I was also reading so I didn’t mind the peace and quiet.”
That’s how Spencer meets you. He comes back a few days later after a case with coffee, croissant and an apology. You immediately become friends and thats how all of this started. Spencer finds himself falling in love with the kind, gorgeous, clever librarian faster than he expected.
Every week after that, Spencer comes to the library with pastries and coffees for his favourite librarian and every week, you welcome Spencer with a warm smile and a new book for him to read. He can read it in one sitting but he reads it in the slowest pace he could so it can last for a week.
Spencer comes out the shower and stares at his closet. Should he go casual or formal? Casual or formal? Its just dinner, he’s chill and casual is the way. He picks one of the few plaid shirts that he has and puts it on with a white shirt underneath. He tries to brush his hair, it sits for a moment before it starts curling again. He cringes but leaves it be.
Spencer proceeds to the kitchen to start packing the food into a wicker basket (that he also borrowed from JJ, he basically borrowed her whole kitchen). He packs the utensils in a table napkin that comes with the basket. The main course for the date was the carbonara, and the dessert was a tiramisu Penelope made.
He reaches over his sofa where the bouquet of paper flowers are. He made it a few nights ago with Penelope’s help. He stayed up to make more of it with old books he found in the BAU.
Because what kind of flowers is the best flowers for librarians? Origami flowers made with old book pages.
He shouldn’t be nervous. You’ve been friends for all the months that he didn’t have enough courage to ask you out. You’ve taken trips to old bookstores together for book hunting. This shouldn’t be different from your other trips.
The pitter patter of rain against his window takes him out of his thoughts.
“Shit! Is it raining!?” Spencer yelps, before opening the closed curtains. Beads of water runs down his windows and if its any other day he would love it. But not tonight, when he planned a rooftop date. He cringes as he thinks of the fairy lights hanged up and the table set up that is probably soaked now.
“Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Think, Spencer, think.” Spencer thinks fast. He finds the extra table cloth that JJ gave him because “Just in case.” He reminds himself to buy her a bottle of wine as a thank you. He places it in his small kitchen table before taking the utensils out of the basket and placing it on the table in a fancy way.
Candles. Does he have candles? Spencer scrambles around his kitchen, like a chicken without its head, looking for candles and he finds it underneath the kitchen sink. He lights some of it up and props it into some glasses (he doesn’t have a candle holder he realizes after lighting it up).
With the lights dimmed down leaving the light from the window and the light from the candles, his dark apartment gives off a romantic, kind of comfortable, vibes. It was kind of perfect because with the books on his shelves and the lighting, it actually has the same vibes a library gives off.
He was ready now, bouquet of paper flowers in hand. He can’t believe how smooth things are going, minus the damn rain. Only thing that’s missing is you.
A knock comes to the door and he instantly opens it. There you were, hair a bit wet and messed up from the rain.
His future was bundled up in a cozy cardigan and a pair of jeans right in front of his eyes and he didn’t even know it.
“Hi.” Spencer smiles.
“Hi.” You smile.
-
“A little to the right. No. No. Too much right, now give it a little bit to the left.” You sigh, your hand under your chin, “No, no, baby, its crooked.”
“Love, can we do this later? The pancetta is going to burn.” Spencer laughs as he climbs down the ladder with the frame.
“But you said you’ll help me with putting up the frames!” You pout at him, Spencer chuckles before kissing your nose, “I know but you also asked for my famous carbonara and I can’t do both at the same time.”
“Hmmm. I still don’t think you can call it yours when its originally Dave’s.” You follow him to the kitchen, zigzagging through the boxes of books you’ve both barely opened.
“What he doesn’t know, won’t kill him.” He winks at you before giving the pancetta and onions a stir.
“It already smells good, love.” You snake your arms through his waist and lean your head on his back. Spencer lets go of the spatula and spins around to face you.
“Thank you, sweetheart. Go unbox some of the books and I’ll call you when its cooked so we can fix the frames. Okay?” Spencer kisses the top of your head and lets you go.
You walk out of the kitchen to the hallway full of boxes full of books. You chuckle as you open the nearest box and its just full of chemistry books. You push it to the room where Luke, Derek and Spencer has built shelves for all of your books. An olive green couch sits in the corner beside the built in fireplace.
Hmmm. This is your home library but as a former librarian the dewey decimal is calling you. But then again, the books you and Spencer have doesn’t have classifications on them. You began unpacking the chemistry books and placing it on the shelf. You can hear the distinct hiss of the pan and Spencer humming Kodaline’s The One.
You push in another box from the hallway to the room and its another one of Spencer’s, this one full of philosophy books. You start unpacking it to the shelf below the chemistry books before stopping as you pull out a book that doesn't belong with the philosophy books. A smile graces your face as your hands glides unto it. It was the book Spencer bought for you on your first anniversary.
The Peter Pan cover is a bit tattered, it was an older edition he found in your favorite old bookstore. You open the book and Spencer’s messy writing greets you with nostalgia.
“We are most alive when we are in love. Thank you for making me feel alive everyday for the past year. Happy Anniversary, love. I live a full life as I love you fully.”
You smile at the book before hugging it to your chest. You sigh deeply as you looked around the room and how it felt so surreal to be in the new home you share with Spencer.
“Love, I am finish. Come meet me in the hallway!” You leave the book on the shelf as you hear Spencer calling you.
“Are you helping me with the frames?” You clap, excited to finally put up the frames. Spencer smiles as he sees you excited to put up the pictures.
“Yes, okay you need to tell me if they’re straight okay?” He instructs before climbing the ladder.
“To the right, just a bit. Oh! Perfect!” You scramble to reach for another frame as he comes down the ladder to move it, “Here! This one.” He climbs again and you instruct him with directions for the frame again.
After a few more frames, he finally comes down and looks at the frames you asked to be put up.
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Spencer smiles down at you and gives your cheek a kiss as he wraps his hands around your waist, “It is. Thank you for framing them.”
The frames comes in different shapes and forms, the biggest one in the middle is the picture of your wedding day. Your wedding took place in a library you immediately fell in love with when looking for places to get married at.
In the picture, you were smiling, your head rested on Spencer's shoulder as he reads a Harry Potter book he found in the kids section. It was a candid moment, both of you running to the back of the shelves to get a moment to yourselves after the wedding and the photographer snapped it before leaving the two of you in peace.
Beside it are pictures with the team on the wedding day, some on thanksgiving, christmas, new year with the BAU team, some with your family, some with Diana and in the corner is a shadow box containing the paper bouquet that Spencer gave you on your first date, the same exact flowers that was in your hands as you walk down the aisle to him.
“So, how's the first six months of officially being a Reid-Y/L/N?” Spencer teases as he lets you go from the back hug to face you and you roll your eyes at him, “Oh very hard. They hear Reid and they immediately expect greatness.”
Spencer laughs, “Same as the last name Y/L/N.” This time your the one who laughs at his statement, “Uhhh. I am not the one with 3 PhDs and 3 BAs.”
“And I am not the one whose a New York Times best selling author.” Spencer laughs even more when he sees your nose crinkles, making his heart dance and swell in glee.
“Hey, let’s dance.” He takes your arms and leaves it on his shoulders as he wraps his arms on your waist.
“We don’t have music, you silly goofy boy.” Spencer rolls his eyes at the endearment used, “I’ll sing.” He hushes you down.
“You make my heart feel like it's summer when the rain is pouring down.” Spencer’s singing voice was soft and sweet in the edges. Most nights you lull him to sleep with your humming to keep the monsters at bay and some days, his better days, he’s the one who sings and these were the days you treasure the most.
“You make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong, that's how I know you are the one... That’s how I know you are the one.” He sways you to the gentle buzz of his voice. You close your eyes as he sings the same song he sings to your ears on the dance floor for you first dance as a married couple.
“When we are together, you make me feel like my mind is free and my dreams are reachable hmmm.” Spencer hums as he runs his hands on your back. Your head on his chest and your ear listening to the way his heart is beating for you.
“You know I never ever believed in love, I believed one day that you would come along and free me.” Spencer feels at ease as he sways and sings, knowing that he’ll have you in his arms for the rest of his life.
The song ends but you and Spencer continue to sway to the music of silence.
“Can you believe its been 4 years since our first date?” Spencer asks, in disbelief of how fast time is running when he’s with you. You pull away from his chest so you can face him. You find a small spark in Spencer’s eyes as he thinks fondly of the night.
“Really? 4 years since our first date got rained on and Penelope cried because we broke all her fairy lights?” Spencer laughs before protesting, “Hey! I paid for that!”
"4 years later and I still can't get enough of that damn carbonara." Spence cackles, like an evil villain, "Don't tell Rossi that I stole his recipe for my beautiful partner."
"4 years later and I am still completely in love with you." Spencer smiles as he leans down to place a small kiss on your temple.
"4 years since I almost completely lost my mind because I was so nervous about our date." You roll your eyes, "Love, our first date was perfect. We've had this debate how many times now?"
"19 times." Spencer answers and you pinch his nose before looking around the room that’s still full of unopened boxes, “See. We should probably eat lunch and unpack. Why do we even have so many boxes of books?”
“Honey, you were a librarian and you are a writer. I am a professor and FBI agent that can read 20,000 words per minute.” Spencer answers as he looks around the unpacked house.
You smile fondly at him before standing on your tiptoes a bit to reach him and give him a kiss and he immediately steadies you with his hands. Kissing you was intoxicating and Spencer loves every bit of it. You only pull away when the kiss finally takes away your breathe.
“I love you, Spence.” You smile as you hold his face in your hands, “I love you more, sweetheart.” He smiles at you as you untangle yourself from him.
“Let’s eat your famous carbonara and unpack the rest of our house. It doesn’t really feel like home when all we can see is boxes.” You giggle before dragging him to the kitchen, making Spencer sit on the island as you prepare the pasta he cooked. Spencer watches you as you sing and dance through the kitchen in one of his old cardigans.
He doesn’t say anything but you were wrong. Home is not four walls with unpacked boxes and hundreds of books.
Home was when you showed up bundled in a cardigan, wet from the rain for your first date with him and home is still you, four years later, bundled up in his old cardigans and singing songs that magically fills and heals the crevices of his heart.
-
the recipe i copied for the famous carbonara!
taglist (if you want to be added, please message me 🥰): @all-tings-diego @shemarmooresfedora @averyhotchner @samuel-de-champagne-problems @bingereid
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Blade; chapter 4
summary: Parker "Blade" Wiles, a high ranking SHIELD agent with an aptitude for sharp objects, goes missing. When Blade is found again with a darker and colder demeanor, SHIELD, with the help of The Avengers, are tasked with finding out what happened to their colleague and friend.
OC is ace and uses they/them pronouns
pairing: Natasha Romanoff x OC! reader (Blade)
warnings: injections, blood, if anything else, let me know
RECAP:
She leaves the room as your eyes start to water. Oh my god. There is no way I'm getting out of this. As you sit there, waiting for what’s going to come next, Nats face pops into your head. And the fact that there is a chance that you’ll never see her again, talk to her, touch her again, makes the tears threatening to fall, fall.
As promised, about 15 minutes later, three lab coats walk into the room you’re in, checking your vitals and making sure all the serum was in your bloodstream. They start rolling you out of the room, assumingly heading towards the super secret lab. I wish I had my journal. My therapist would have a field day with all this new trauma.
You would've said a snarky comment by now, but you were in no mood for that right now. On the bright side, if there was one, it’s not any of your teammates in this situation. Especially Nat. God, you would go crazy if it was Nat instead of you. You’re zoned out as they roll you into the main lab. You snap out of it when the doors slam shut and lock. “Ahhh, there it is! Our test subject!” Dr. Nichols exclaims!
“It isn’t our test subject doctor.” Madam starts, “It's our new weapon.” Dr. Nichols hums, and makes her way over to you.
“You were very hard to get a hold of, you know.” She starts. “We tried taking you out multiple times, but you were always with that red head. What was her name again? Natalie?”
“Natasha”
“That's right, Natasha. We originally thought that it would be her that we would use, but kidnapping an Avenger, especially one as well known as her, seemed more difficult than imagined.”
“I'm sorry, you were gonna kidnap the Black Widow?”
“We were”
“Thats almost as dumb as trying to re-use the Winter Soldier’s code words”
“You see, but we aren’t doing either of those sweetheart.” Madam interrupts. “We’re using you, and a pill shaped device embedded in your brain. Not code words, not the Black Widow. You. You’re a nobody! Barely an Avenger! The only reason we’re using you is because you were an easy target who happened to be able to handle a knife like no one else.”
The remaining lab coats inject you with something and you pass out, as Dr. Nichols begins the procedure.
*At the Avengers compound
Ever since you had disappeared, the team have been doing their best to find you, while walking on eggshells around Natasha. While the team has been trying their best to comfort Natasha, she has only been thinking about you. She locked herself in her room, lucky that Sam has started sliding food under the door.
It started off as a joke really. He managed to squish an entire PB&J under the door and then graduated to a whole pizza this week. While it may not show, she does appreciate that people care, so she started sliding notes back under the door with the empty plate/takeout pizza box.
“Thank you for the food” Something simple. She would've said something longer but had no energy to do so. She sat on her bed and let her mind wander. Her eyes traveled along the room and eventually landed on your journal.
“That’s an obnoxious journal” She chuckles to herself. only you would’ve picked it out. she picks said journal up and pages through it. She knows it’s an invasion of privacy but she’s already written in it, so she doesn’t think twice about grabbing a pen.
Blade, it’s nat, again. I know you’ll be mad at me for writing in this but I can't find it in me to care. You’ve been gone for a couple days now. The team has been looking for you, they care. More than you think they do. You mean something to us, you matter. Sam has managed to squish a PB&J under the door, I took a picture of it. When you get back I’ll show it to you, it’s pretty funny. Luckily he wrapped it in cling wrap so peanut butter and jelly didn’t get everywhere. I haven’t really left my room. I don’t need to see the team's look of pity when they see me. I can't look at them right now. they left you. I wanted, no, needed. I needed to get back. If you were still there, if you were just lost or your comm was just down, you would be here right now. But no, they fucking left. They left you! And I couldn’t do anything about it! God, what kind of teammate. No. friend. What kind of friend am I? What kind of friend leaves the friend they care about behind! God. I thought that I was doing good. I was going straight. But once things get better, once I make fiends, have people I care about, I just go and fuck it up. This isn’t your fault Blade. This is my fault. if I just stayed with you, this wouldn’t have happened. you need to get back. I need to make it up to you. I need to do something. And hopefully you’ll take me back. Hopefully you’ll see me as if this never happened because I don't know what I would do without you.
Love, Natasha
She closes the journal as she hears a knock on her door. “Who is it?” She calls out.
“Clint, I have left over garlic bread, do you want some?” He asks.
She slowly stands up and makes her way over to the door and opens it with tears in her eyes. Clint just stands there, not knowing what to do because no one has seen the famous black widow cry.
“That was their favorite” She whimpers. He's never seen her so small. He walks in the room, puts the garlic bread on the desk and holds her. He held her until she stopped crying.
*At the MYST headquarters
The procedure took longer than expected. After around 45 extra minutes, they finally finished. you were placed into a cell and didn’t wake up for about 3 days. When you woke up you were greeted by what seemed to be a nurse. she was looking at some chart so she didn’t see you sit up. Looks like HYDRA, wait no, sorry, MYST couldn’t afford some fucking blankets because it’s practically Antarctica in here.
“Oh, you’re awake.” Your head snapped towards the nurse. “You really are a tough cookie to crack. took over an hour to get that thing in your head. And after that, they had to inject you with a concentration of the serum because nothing stuck in your blood. How odd.”
“Pardon me?”
“Did you not listen to a word I said?”
“No no, I heard you, but what’s this about the serum?”
“Super soldier serum is concentrated as it is. It enhances you, you become more you.” Madam interrupts as she walks in the room. “Your blood fought off the original serum, so Dr. Nichols took the most powerful properties of it and injected you. Which, luckily took. you are one of the most powerful super soldiers known to man now.”
“Pardon?” You ask.
“Did you think we were messing around?”
“Kind of, yeah”
“We’re not. This isn’t some game to us, to me.” She states. “We aren’t fucking around this time. HYDRA paved the way, we’re just walking down the path and doing a better job than they ever will.” And with that, she starts walking out of the room.
“Nurse?” The nurse freezes, visibly afraid of what will come next.
“Yes Madam?”
“Make sure they’re ready for the chair tomorrow.”
Super soldier? I thought we were past this. Didn’t we learn our lesson about 5 years ago? Never in a million years would you have thought that you would ever be in this situation. Hell! You thought that when you were recruited to be an avenger it was all some sick joke! A sick cruel joke that will embarrass you publicly! Imagine the headline “Blade Wiles, recruited to the Avengers only to be set up as a prank”
God. Life is cruel. Once it starts getting good, it takes a sharp turn for the worse. You get a job that you love, and then you get recruited to the Avengers. THE AVENGERS! The fucking Avengers. What a goddamn fever dream. And then you meet this really pretty girl, who somehow wants to be your friend and possibly more?? And then your mom dies. And then you get captured by HYDRA. What the fuck universe?
God damnit. My therapist probably doesn’t have any advice on what to do if you get captured by the worst supremacist organization in the world.
A/N: chapter 4! Sorry this took so long, school just started so I’ve been pretty busy with that, there is no timeline for chapter 5 yet, once I have an idea I will let you know. As always, don’t be afraid to comment, I like hearing what you guys think!
#black widow x reader#Black Widow#black widow imagine#black widow fluff#black widow x ace!reader#natasha romanoff#natasha x reader#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff fluff#Natasha romanoff imagine#marvel x reader#marvel x ace!reader
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NJPW G1 CLIMAX 30 Day 5 Review (Sept 27th, 2020, Kobe World Memorial Hall)
Yota Tsuji vs. Gabriel Kidd ***
A Block
Taichi vs. Yujiro Takahashi **1/2
Jeff Cobb vs. Minoru Suzuki ***1/4+
Kota Ibushi vs. Tomohiro Ishii ****1/4
Will Ospreay vs. Shingo Takagi ****1/2+
Kazuchika Okada vs. Jay White ***3/4
photos.
This was one of the strongest cards of the tour on paper, and whilst it didn’t exactly reach its lofty anticipation, it was still a great show which was a breeze to sit through. Gabriel Kidd defeated Yota Tsuji in the prerequisite good Young Lion opener with his impressive Butterfly Suplex, which then gave us a match I was dreading in Taichi vs. Yujiro. However, I’m pleased to say that whilst this wasn’t especially good, it certainly wasn’t bad, so thats a definite plus. The crowd were into this late in the game, before Taichi hit a low blow, then scored the win in 11 minutes with the Gedo Clutch. The win makes Taichi undefeated thus far, but I can’t believe that will last much longer. Especially seeing who he’s got coming up in the rest of this thing. Hey, does anyone remember when Shelton Benjamin went on that inexplicable undefeated streak in 2014?
Minoru Suzuki defeated Jeff Cobb next in a match up that, whilst very good, was something of a disappointment (a theme will occur). It was very short for starters (9:24), and Cobb, who really hasn’t looked all that great in this tournament so far, sold for pretty much the whole match. Which is something he does entirely too much for my liking. I mean, he’s a big, athletic guy, who was a legitimate Olympian, and could probably shoot kill most guys in most locker rooms, but spends most of these matches getting his arse handed to him. I mean, fine when you’re talking about Suzuki, but would Dr Death have bumped all over and sold 80% of a match for Taichi? Would the Steiners? Or Kurt Angle? Anyway, you get what I’m saying. I just think he needs to come across more as a badass shooter rather than... whatever he is now. Which is literally “just a guy”. Regardless of my gripes, this was a good match (even if there were a few ‘clunky’ aspects), which Suzuki won after locking in a choke then transitioning to the Gotch Piledriver.
After a brief intermission it was time to go to war as Ibushi took on Ishii. These guys have had three matches previous to this, all of which were absolutely fab, so expectations were high. This was an excellent, heated, hard-hitting battle, but for various reasons, it couldn’t hit the heights of their previous bouts, and the most obvious reason being that it’s incredibly hard to have an absolute blow-away classic in the current environment. Literally, there’s only been one in my book; the Naito/Tanahashi match from last week, and that’s it. Regardless, they still had a great match, beating the hell out of each other for 15:41 with hard chops, kicks, forearms headbutts and Lariats. Just as we’d all hoped they would. Ishii started chopping Ibushi in the throat, so Kota hit those scary throat punches in retaliation, then landed on his feet on a German attempt and scored a near fall with Boma Ye on the originators bestie. Ishii counters Kamigoye with headbutts, then a Lariat. They exchange hard strikes, Ibushi hits a high kick, then Kamigoye to take the 2 points and render Ishii winless in this G1. They continued beating each other up in the post match.
Next up was a rematch from the best match of 2019, when Shingo Takagi sought to avenge his BOSJ Finals loss to Will Ospreay. This really was a fantastic bout, but obviously couldn’t reach the heights of their match last year, but was easily MOTN, in the top 3 of this tournament so far, and amongst the best in the pandemic era. These guys work amazingly well together and it produces fairly amazing results. Their counter sequences alone are a thing of beauty. Ospreay got a near fall after a Corner to Corner dropkick and Shooting Star Press, before Shingo battled back with a Pumping Bomber and Made In Japan for near falls of his own. The Rampage Dragon hit his old Stay Dream middle rope Death Valley Bomb, but Ospreay kicks at 1. Shingo obliterates him with a Pumping Bomber which garners a near fall, and Last Of The Dragon follows, allowing Takagi to get his win back at the 22:03 mark. This was a really great match, and, look, people were tying themselves in knots trying to explain how Ospreay’s match with Ishii last week wasn’t very good (it was excellent), and I fear that these sort of views are because of how these people feel towards Ospreay personally. I’ve always tried to remove the person from the matches (I’ve often loved a Michael Elgin match, despite him being fundamentally loathsome in many regards), and thats my philosophy here. I get he’s a very divisive character, but he has great matches consistently. Anyway, thats all I have to say about that.
And in the main event, Jay White once again pinned Okada in a really good, though ultimately disappointing, encounter that couldn’t hope to follow its predecessor. Honestly, this Okada Cobra Clutch storyline is doing nothing for me. It’s even more alienating to me then the red-headed balloon bandit nonsense he had going on 2018. I understand the story they’re trying to tell; that Okada has ‘retired’ the Rainmaker in order to make this Cobra Clutch/Anaconda Vice thing his primary finish, and its all building to him using the Rainmaker again later down the road, but I just honestly don’t care. It just ruins the flow of his matches. You could work dramatic sequences around avoiding or getting out of a Rainmaker, or even trying to hit it, but this submission just isn’t hitting the same notes as far as I’m concerned. I’ve said since January that Okada just seems lost at sea when he’s not champion, and this is as glaringly obvious now as its ever been. White however has looked great since his COVID induced hiatus, and he looked really good in this one. This was marred slightly by too much Gedo involvement, who kept distracting Okada throughout. After Okada hit a Rolling Rainmaker, he locks the Clutch on for maybe the 7th time in the match, which prompted Gedo to distract Red Shoes whilst Jay hits a low blow (we’ve seen a ton of these in this G1 already, by the way, and we’re only five days in!), then tries for Blade Runner, but again gets caught in the Clutch. Dear Lord. White counters into a Sleeper Suplex, then hit Blade Runner to take the decisive win at 18:48. I mean, in terms of wins over Okada, this is almost as decisive as it gets. Switch Blade cut a promo in the post match, taunting the crowd and proclaiming the G1 to actually be the “Jay1″.
NDT
#njpw#g1 climax 30#review#g130#kazuchika okada#jay white#shingo takagi#will ospreay#kota ibushi#tomohiro ishii#minoru suzuki#jeff cobb#taichi#yujiro takahashi#new japan pro wrestling#puroresu#wrestling review
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🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊
Y'think thats enough pens? Either way I don't expect you to do somethin for aaaaaaaaaall of em lol
Gsudkblbzysuv hun, this is so beautifully chaotic!
🖋 Ginger's a vampire but both of her dads (Lee Grimm and Glenn Grimm) are werewolves (Mist Walkers). Both are trans men.
🖋 Jelani uses male, neutral or female pronouns. Has no preference to which ones someone should use.
🖋 Trevor knows ASL. His little brother was deaf and in his memory he learned ASL.
🖋 Angelus sorta, kinda had a daughter. Ok tl;dr back in the late 1800s he ran into this little girl that was living in the street and tried to steal some money off him but she got caught. He gave her everything he had on him and then she ran off and he lost track of her. Much later he found her again but this time she was a bit older, like 11 years old. They recognized each other and they both went to get a bite to eat and she told him she ran away from home because her parents were abusive. Obviously coming from a similar background he heavily sympathized but he didn't know the first thing about kids but he still took her in. She grew up, married and had kids of her own and those kids grew up and eventually his adopted daughter (her name was Alice) grew old and died of old age. He kept in contact with his sort of grandkids obviously but as his great grandkids grew older and had families and kids of their own Angelus distanced himself. How the fuck are ya gonna explain your sort of adoptivr great grandfather looks like a 20 year old twink? He's kept an eye out on them as a "friend of the family".
🖋 AJ introduced Angelus, Mahmud, Tre and Madison to his favorite hobby: parkour. The five of them regularly get together to free run in places they think would be both challenging and fun.
🖋 Madison introduced Mahmud, AJ, Tre and Xiomara to spelunking and scuba diving as a hobby.
🖋 Sanaa loves and collects windchimes. So Ingvarr modified an alarm clock to make any chime she puts on it chime whenever she sets the alarm. So instead of some jarring alarm she wakes up to a windchime.
🖋 Angelus has an abnormally high tolerance for pain to the point where he won't react to most injuries. This was due to years of having to learn to control his cries of pain because the more he cried out the harder he'd get beaten.
🖋 Trevor holds the world record for longest confirmed sniper kill. Can't be found in any public record but it's in Oracle records and that's good enough for him.
🖋 Jelani (Loke and Jela's grandad, not J lol) and Subira made a spell called "Bright Light". Basically a faint little orb of light that when cast makes anyone near it calm down. It works for regular nervousness, anxiety, panic attacks, anger and so on. It's one of those beginner type spells that barely requires any energy and it can either hover over the caster's palm or it can be "attached" to an object.
🖋 Sunniva (she was Ingvarr's first wife and the woman who gave birth to Loke) is still alive. After she became pregnant she heavily regretted it so that's why as soon as Loke was born she ran away without telling anyone anything. Loke was always told that she disappeared but honestly speaking he never knew her so he has no attachment to her. To him Sanaa is HIS mother and only her.
🖋 Latoya was what you would consider a sickly kid. Someone in another country sneezed and she got sick. Her colds and flus lasted longer than usual and she was a super skinny little girl. When puberty hit she took up sports and when she was 18 she started lifting weights, blew up in terms of muscle tone and got laser eye surgery. Now she's like Rambo in his prime but pretty.
🖋 Abigail is constantly coloring her hair different colors but her favorite is any hue of green since that's her favorite color. She'll also help and color anyone else's if they ask her for help.
🖋 Ginger and Abigail got married on October 13th. Yes, the wedding had a Victorian goth theme to it. Even though they couldn't eat it the cake was red velvet with black frosting and everything. It almost looked like a funeral 'cause everyone was wearing black. I hope to doodle Ginger and Abby in their wedding dresses someday.
🖋 Haakon had a habit of collecting leaves from different countries he visited and kept them safe. Ingvarr and Jørgen both keep journals with leaves of different countries they've visited. They write down the tree the leaf came from, country where they got it from and date.
🖋 Anette can't drive until she's 21. When she was 14 she took Jelani's car, drove her and a bunch of her friends super late at night in winter (from what I've read driving in Norway during winter is horrible), crashed into another car after she lost control, totalled both Jelani's car and the other car and severely injured some of her friends and the other driver. The funny/not funny part is Jela was planning on giving her that car when she got her license but she totalled it. It was BMW by the way. Fuckin' teenager driving around in a 2 year old Beemer lol.
🖋 Speaking of cars. Grete (Anette's mother and Loke and Jelani's aunt) is horribly afraid of driving. She can't get behind the wheel of a car without freaking out. Anette crashing made the fear 10x worse. She can be in a car as long as she isn't driving and the car isn't going too fast.
🖋 During a visit Anette convinced both her parents and Jelani to let her stay with him during the summer. She also convinced both Leah and Xolani to stay over as well. So for a whole ass summer Jelani had three teenagers staying over as a kind of sleep over vacation. It actually turned out fun in the end, the kids had fun and Anette and her rebellious attitude kinda softened.
🖋 Anette, Xolani and Leah have one defining thing in common. None of them know what to do with the rest of their lives. Thing is Leah is very nervous about it, Xolani is kind of aloof about it and Anette is kinda of frustrated about it. Anette is frustrated which leads her to act out and cause trouble. Xolani just looks like they don't care but they do. Leah is super nervous about it. Another thing they got in common is the three of them tend to look up to Loke and Jelani 'cause they feel both understand them better than their parents do.
🖋 Ginger is kinda very obsessed with portals. She's fascinated by them but also respects them as they are incredibly dangerous and unpredictable. She is basically the only person in the world that managed to control portals even if it's for a short amount of time.
🖋 Shaine got really into explosives when she was just a kid. After an accident with a dozen cherry bombs she was left partially deaf, now has to wear a hearing aid and is the explosives expert.
🖋 Before joining Oracle Katya financed her transition by making fake IDs and passports. She also doxxed corrupt government officials and ransomed vital information she got off them.
🖋 Loke is allergic to bird dandruff but would love to have a pet pigeon. At least he can have dogs which is his other favorite animal. His favorite dog is the pitbull.
🖋 Until he got together with Jelani all of Angelus's previous relationships were short and ended in kind of disaster because he constantly compared them all to Jelani and to him they didn't measure up. He ultimately said no to relationships around the 1930s and just fucked around. Obviously until he got shit faced once and confessed to Jelani he was in love with him and the rest is history.
🖋 Tre is one of the super rare seers that can see and feel visions. He's so sensitive that merely standing in an area with a lot of energy could affect him.
🖋 In Oracle there is a head of the organization and two leaders. Current head is Aleksey with Jelani and Angelus as leaders. There's always three as kind of a callback let's call it to when Oracle was started. Aleksey and two close friends started it so from then on there's always 3 leads. When Aleksey steps down Jelani will be head, Ginger will be the second lead and Angelus is the third lead, however he plans on making Trevor the third lead. The reason is because Angelus is fully aware of what he can and can't do and he knows damn well that he isn't lead of an organization material. When he steps down he'd be the Trickster team leader, that he can handle, and since Trevor left a vacant spot Loke would take that spot.
🖋 There is a place called Kironia. It's theorized to be a sort of epicenter for portal activities. Angelus and Ginger have been tasked with keeping an eye on it but it's shrouded in so much mystery most people don't think it's real.
🖋 Despite the fact that Trevor personally knows a Maker and a goddess (Jade, Latoya's girlfriend) he's still an athiest.
🖋 Trevor didn't have a name growing up, he chose the name Trevor because it sounded pleasant. He took his surname, Ravencroft, from a woman he'd heard of from other Oracle agents. He eventually got to meet Morgana Ravencroft, she thought it was flattering he took her name.
🖋 Speaking of Morgana Ravencroft, Angelus was first introduced to the concept of magic because of her. He went with Trevor to help him with some supplies and after being completely hypnotized by some illusions she gave him a book on the basics and helped him get started.
🖋 Loke stopped aging and it's something of a weird occurrence that is brought up every so often. When he was 28 years old he and Jelani (who was 15 at the time) were delivering some supplies to another village. They ran into bandits and as usual Loke was trying to protect Jelani and in doing so he was fatally wounded. Of course Jelani freaked the fuck out and his "fail safe" kicked in. Jela doesn't remember but Loke does, he saw Jelani change form and after dealing with the bandits he turned his attention to Loke and stopped him from dying. He was rusty as fuck so he put a little more oomph behind it and a tiny portion of his energy slipped into Loke. Neither of them know but Loke is basically kinda frozen in time when it comes to aging. So because of this Loke can't die unless Jelani dies.
🖋 Loke has a black feather that's warm to the touch and small embers can be seen floating out of it. He's never mentioned it to anyone and keeps it close to him. The feather came from Jelani when he changed form to fight off the bandits. After he blacked out and changed back Loke found the feather on the ground. He knew where it came from that's why he kept it. He's never told Jelani about that day because he doesn't know what it means and he thinks telling him would only serve to confuse him further.
🖋 Continuing with Loke, he's your average run of the mill berserker. That means he cannot use magic while in berserker mode or even with his weapons. The only ones that can do that are arcanist berserkers (the Nyota tribe). Sanaa is an arcanist berserker, she can use magic while in berserker mode. However, through years of practice Sanaa managed to teach Loke one spell that her people are really fond of. Falling Stars is a spell that has the user charge a single arrow. The arrow is shot upwards and as soon as it reaches high enough it splits into hundreds of arrows that rain down on the target. Loke started practicing when he was 8 years old and by the age of 30 he managed to pull it off making him the first berserker to use magic.
🖋 Jelani and Leah are two of the extremely rare and fortunate people that have gone through a portal and have returned. Whether their return was sheer luck or the fact that he's a Maker is something I'll elaborate on later.
🖋 Haakon knew Jelani wasn't a berserker. Haakon himself had a feeling that his grandson was something far more, if that makes sense. The day Jela was born Haakon had a dream but instead of fear he just felt an insurmountable amount of wonder. He's only ever told his wife, Eli, who in turn believed him. Both always made sure Jela didn't feel out of place and Haakon frequently encouraged him.
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DESTIEL RANT! Unpopular Opinion Time - The Scene was NOT Homophobic
Wow. It’s BEEN YEARS! And yet here I am again!
I have returned to my Tumblr roots, rambling about Supernatural again! I have come full circle! Summoned by three words spoken by the Angel of the Lord we all knew and loved.
But lets get down to business.
Everyone’s going crazy. They either loved it, hated it, loved/hated it, hated/loved it, etc.
Even people who never watched an episode felt the need to add their two cents without any context or with extreme bias.
So here’s the observations from a former Supernatural Fan and intense DESTIEL SHIPPER, but also one who has stopped watching it cause omfg it sucks so bad now.
My bias comes from both angles and thus neutralizes each other out xD
Obviously, spoilers for Episode 18 of Season 15 of Supernatural lay ahead.
~~~
(TL;DR: The scene wasn’t bad because it was forced or homophobic.
It was neither.
The scene was bad because of long term poor plotting, repetitive character arcs and horrendous timing and execution.
That said, my shipping heart is just happy that it happened at all. <3 )
ONWARDS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lets just get to the point.
At first glance, that scene looks extremely homophobic and when it was first described to me (I haven’t watched the show since Season 9), it appears that is indeed the case.
And you can make a STRONG case for it to, if you watched that scene and knew of all the fucking queer bait we had to live through before getting here.
But I watched the entire episode. And I think this is key.
Cause while it’s easy to say its all homophobic, that’s not actually what was happening.
The truth is, the episode is a set up for the ending.
Sure it seems to be framed that Castiel is sent to the Empty for being gay, but that’s the bias talking.
Contextually, Castiel is sent to the Empty for being Truly Happy.
Also EVERYONE dies.
Funny how no one is up in arms that Charlie’s GF got poofed at the very start of the episode.
Not gay enough for it to count? Like she literally made her girlfriend breakfast and they were flirting, and boom she was gone FOREVER, not sent to a place where people have come back from before, but with NO EVIDENCE of them being alive at all.
Dead. Gone.
But no one says a damn thing.
And then EVERYONE died.
THEN Cas died.
And yet everyone got like temporary amnesia and its like, “CASTIEL WAS KILLED FOR BEING GAY!!!”
That’s...not what happened tho.
What’s really sad is the moment with Castiel was actually a GREAT plot point/twist, if only they had done it better.
NO ONE would be saying SHIT if Castiel had been a woman. NO ONE.
Or at least, they would mostly see it as tragic than anything else.
But because Castiel is making a homosexual love confession, it must BE because he’s GAY!
It’s really ironic.
Judging that scene as homophobic is ACTUALLY homophobic* (not really, but i can’t think of a better word).
Or at least you’re judging the scene by their sexuality and not by what is actually going on.
Now I remembered something after thinking about this scene for a while.
THIS PLOT POINT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE IN ANOTHER EVEN MORE ICONIC SHOW!!!
Now bear with me cause I never watched the whole thing, only the bits and pieces my roommate shared with me.
But the whole “I am cursed to suffer a terrible fate if I ever experience true happiness” has been done before.
And where was that?
Spoilers for Buffy by the way.
SO! To all those who are still trying to spin this as platonic, you need to watch more shitty afterschool 90s supernatural TV shows.
In season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Buffy’s good vampire boyfriend, wakes up evil because he had a moment of true happiness.
And this dooms the couple.
NOW. Do you call this...heterophobia????
Oh I hear you! “But Angel didn’t die and he and Buffy got to be romantic and actually have sex before that shit went down! Not the same thing!”
TRUE. I didn’t really bring this up to make an argument that the scene/show isn’t homophobic (or at least they are very uncomfortable with it), but rather I wanted to make a point that the PLOT POINT is not at all homophobic and is actually really awesome.
The issue with the scene is the execution.
That moment between Cas and Dean should have happened SEASONS ago or at the VERY LEAST earlier in this FINAL season, and not right at the very end. The other reason why it worked so well with Buffy is that they had plenty of episodes afterwards to go into it, have Buffy react to it, and deal with it and such.
Meanwhile SPN, still BLATANTLY uncomfortable with handling this sort of thing, decided to put Castiel away in a dark closet and then put forth an end the world plotline by killing EVERYONE so Dean is too busy to actually think and talk about it for any real length of time XD.
I wouldn’t use the word homophobic for it, because it wasn’t used as a joke, it wasn’t used to demean gay people, it wasn’t meant to say “if you are homosexual, you go to hell.”
That’s not it at all. The only reason people think that is because they’ve been hurt in the past so many times, by religion and government and truly homophobic media, and this scene triggers that hurt.
HOWEVER, if you look at that scene without that lens, it’s more cowardly and insecure, than homophobic.
Cause at the end of the day, that’s the whole problem with Supernatural.
They never commit.
Their writing is lazy and weak because they don’t have the writing chops to actually GO FOR IT.
They are constantly at war with the writing, the ratings/money, and the general public views.
They constantly add poc and homosexual characters, but are too afraid to actually do anything with them in fear of doing it poorly and upsetting people (and honestly, it’s a valid fear XD).
I stopped watching Supernatural cause the writing is HORRIBLE.
It has nothing to do with homophobia and everything to do with the fact its all over the place, there’s no stakes, the power escalation is shot to hell, they keep saying SIKE when they do kill people, no changes last forever, and it should have ended SEASONS ago. Its BAD.
But in regards to homosexuality, the fact that they used a plot point that the legendary Buffy the Vampire Slayer used but used it on two characters of the same sex is actually AMAZING.
YES it was CRINGY. The handprint was cringy! They were trying WAY too hard to make it different than the other 1000000 times Castiel died for Dean. But it was their poor plotting, their overuse of killing and bringing back people, the fact Dean and Cas never actually even toyed with the idea of romance openly in the entire show, that caused this scene to not shine as brightly as it could have.
THAT SAID.
HOLY SHIT CASTIEL LOVES DEAN!
THATS AMAZING!!!!
Ahem.
Another reason why people get this scene so wrong is because they think writers are actual Gods.
We are not.
They are flawed and they are many and this show had WAY too many showrunners.
AND IT SHOWS.
But you know whos constant? The actors.
Dean has never really changed. Jensen played him exactly as he’s always played him. ALWAYS.
Any person who got mad that Dean didn’t sob or kiss Castiel needs to take off their gay fucking glasses and respect the fact that THAT ISN’T DEAN.
HE’S NEVER BEEN THAT WAY.
EVEN IF CASTIEL WAS A WOMAN HE WOULDNT HAVE ACTED THAT WAY.
Also Dean has been so BLATANTLY straight this WHOLE time.
Now I’m not saying that the romantic feelings were not reciprocal.
I’m saying we don’t fucking know XD
Hell DEAN might not know, and honestly that would be the most realistic and best way to handle that.
Do you know how FUCKED UP it would have been if Dean broke character and suddenly came out as Gay and totally fine with that and just acted like he’s been gay this WHOLE time even when it’s so obvious that he was not?!!
Its like - Respect Homosexuality, but Disrespect all other sexualities.
You can’t just force Dean to be Gay and Comfortable With That Fact (tm).
You can’t.
And to expect and force Jensen Ackles to play his character, that he’s played for years that way, to tell him to fuck off how he’s BEEN playing him cause it’s not good enough anymore even though everyone ATE IT UP before Castiel came on screen, is an INSULT to him.
I do think he can realize it. I think he can lean into it. I really do think it’s possible to do it in a way that’s realistic and still in character with how Jensen has played him all these years.
But now, you’re all fucking entitled little nutcases if you think that Dean should bend to your fanfic fantasy as being head over heels in love with a man without any issue at all when there’s absolutely nothing in his backstory, childhood, or ANYTHING that would explain why he would be that way.
I’m old as fuck, but you know how Dean SHOULD play it?
Like Heath Ledger’s character in Brokeback Mountain.
He didn’t exactly showed his emotions regarding the love of his fucking life immediately, now did he?
BUT THAT SAID THIS ISNT BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN YOU HORNY FUCKS XDD
Ahem. That’s also a reminder for myself XD
ANYWAYS!!!
TL;DR: The scene wasn’t bad because it was forced or homophobic.
It was neither.
The scene was bad because of long term poor plotting, repetitive character arcs and horrendous timing and execution.
That said, my shipping heart is just happy that it happened at all. <3
The End.
That is all
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The Untamed: Episode 3
1. so did mianmian have a crush on jin or was she just that dedicated to her boss? i respect her either way i just always wanted to know how he felt about her in return too
2. yanli’s face at the mention of her promised one!!! she’s so soft.
3. i forgot that wwx took it upon himself to get them a room from mianmian and that it almost worked wow. and then HE MAKES A SEX JOKE ABOUT HIM AND MIANMIAN THAT WENT SO FAR OVER MY HEAD LAST TIME. he’s so adorable when he’s trying to manipulate people
4. when he leans in to listen to their private conversation. crying. keep your nose in your lane sir
5. lmao when yanli suggests they fight each other and jiang cheng is like... lmao maybe. he looks so tempted im tearing up
6. no offense but why does jin zixuan actually need his whole entourage and shit. you need everyone to watch you drink tea or what?
7. yanli and jz first meeting is!! cute but wwx still looks like an imp the whole time.
8. is he wrong when he says that jin clan is ostentatious. i think no. but also from the beginning wwx has been all like i stand by my actions but dont blame my clan and i think thats very heartbreaking of him
9. why did i have to wait forty episodes for yanli to be happy with this jx idiot when i COULD HAVE HAD IT BACK THEN IF EVERYONE WERENT SO STUPID
10. the fact that wwx has literally no chill when it comes to yanli is so on brand
11. the only more on brand thing is that he actually left the invitation back in the hotel.
12. i love when siblings agree to hate other people because they’re messing with the siblings. that’s amor
13. why is wwx the guy who would get you kicked out from the club right when you finally got in
14. THIS IS THE SCENE WWX REMEMBERS LATER!! THEIR FIRST MEETING!! im the guy staring literally open mouthed as lwj walks past
15. i know this is me being dumb but. is lwj older than wwx?
16. i would die for lwj. he’s so BABEY
17. name a more iconic meet cute than: you’re at my uncle’s house for a lecture and i don’t let you in because you don’t have an invitation and then i cast a silencing spell on you as i walk away because you’re THAT annoying
18. WAIT. what was that look. was that... amusement. is our second young master... vindictive?
19. the scene where jiang cheng is reassuring yanli about wwx. he says wwx is probably out having some fun with a mianmian or yuandao. wwx said his name was yuandao to mianmian earlier. is it a boy’s name? is wwx implied to be rowdy here? am i reading to much into this?
20. the fact that no one stays behind to let wwx know that lwj let them in! im hollering is anyone going to actually blame him for breaking in
21. okay except he definitely comes in carrying zero (0) invitations and two (2) bottles of emperor’s smile
22. how long was lwj standing there. did he know wwx was coming. once again this kid aims for peak drama and executes it effortlessly. how is wwx considered the most dramatic person in this show in any way compared to this fucker. he literally silences people he doesn’t want to listen to. name something more petty and powerful.
23. what about lwj made it seem like he could be bribed with alcohol. like wwx. you moron.
24. isn’t there something sexy about wwx sheathing lwj’s sword for him. just me? cool
25. the romantic music is what makes this scene s2g. like i know im supposed to take away that they’re well matched and equals but all i can think is that they’re stupid in the exact opposite ways and that’s the only reason they survive as long as they do.
26. the horror in wwx’s face when he notices the 3000 principles. “lets count how many violations you broke tonight” kind of sounds like something lwj would actually do as foreplay so. you know whatever
27. just to summarize, because my head is spinning, wwx offends lwj’s clan, lwj’s clan’s principles, lwj himself and then takes a sip of his liquor
28. so lwj was actually offended by wwx thinking he’s undesirable... casual
29. the silencing charm strikes again. thats twice in this episode. wwx is 0 for 2. who’s going to try and tell me that lwj didn’t take those insults personally and that’s why he used the silencing charm instead of just saying “my uncle and your siblings are waiting for you”
30. ZEWU JUNNNNNNN. i missed my baby.
31. wwx is so fucking. annoying. like, you idiot. hotheaded fool. the first thing he says to lwj’s brother is “your brother is a fool.” the lack of respect when he approaches lan qiren. stunning display of impudence. i also love that wangji is just kind of like “now you see what im dealing with”
32. i literally forgot that lwj is the reason wwx has to copy the principles 300 times. like thats so funny.
33. im wwx justifying to the clan leadership why i purchase two bottles of alc when i was on a rescue mission
34. the fact that wangji doesn’t want wei ying to know that he helped his sibs get in. and how touched wei ying is when he finds out. so cute
35. i forget sometimes that like. wwx really was a prodigy. kid was smart. kid was talented.
36. WEN QING MAKES MY HEART SKIP A BEAT EVERY TIME
37. i know the reason we never see wen qing use that hot ass sword she bows with in this ep is cuz she’s a doctor and she’s proud of it but. i think i would kill for some footage of her swinging that onto to someone’s neck. maybe wen chao’s or something
38. wei wuxian makes me want to launch myself into a chasm of some kind. he’s so smart and dumb all at once. how can someone so good at cultivation also stick his foot in his mouth 24/7
39. compare the lan siblings to our disaster trio for a second. “i trust you to look into it but be safe use your judgement” “don’t worry ill listen to you” “am i putting too much on your shoulders?” “i want to help you” VS “please find him” “be assured. ill find him and break his legs”
40. i like that zewu jun immediately likes wwx for lwj. it’s just so big bro of him. also him describing wwx as “even though he does some excessive things” is like. big brain. biggest brain.
41. lwj being pessimistic about making friends makes me :(
42. ZEWU JUN YOU ICON “you were tied weren’t you? doesn’t he have skill?” like drag your brother
43. oh. i forgot that xue yang is here. frustrating as per usual.
tl;dr
sometimes you meet your soulmate when you insult his entire being and he casts a silencing spell on you after dumping your liquor stash
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BNHA AU Ideas : University Professors (in Love)
Also on AO3!
TL;DR:
Due to a long-standing feud between various Law and Science professors, the students from those respective degrees don’t get along very well. What better way to foster some good (or at least non-violent) relations between departments than to start a new science-in-law degree?
Too bad the Law and Science professors - Yamada Hizashi and Aizawa Shouta, respectively - working on the course together hate each other's guts.
(Well, until they fall in love.)
Oh and Izuku and Hitoshi are sleep deprived first years running on noodles and Redbull, but what else is new?
this is at a big ass, top tier university
all might is like, the david attenbourgh of this universe but he got injured on set and moved to teaching, he's not that relevant i just wanted to include him because hes a good man
so, aizawa is under all might in the science faculty hierarchy, but not by much considering how young he is. aizawas the animal physiology teacher and does shit tones of research with zoos and shelters for husbandry studies
now, the two big draws of this campus are like the wet sciences and their law section, but the whole campus is pretty swish: like if gatton and st. lucia were connected with land but still as weird as the other.
Now none of you know anything about my uni, so imagine not quite an Ivy League school, but still one of the fancier collages in your state, with a redneck agricultural campus slapped on. But the rednecks are liberals.
Now imagine they are run by the same people
so one of the law lectures retires and they get a new one! its mic! and now aizawa is already pissed. hes dealt with mic before riding his ass in ethics committees and honestly just making life harder for him than it had to be
and the university tells him to reduce the hostility between the two sides of the campus, they are going to be holding some law classes in the animal side and vice versa and aizawa is piiisssssedddd
and then they fucking, start a new animal science/law degree about animal ethics law and aizawa is flipping his fucking lid because all might is already the vet science-vet tech degree co-ordinator and since aizawa is so new, hes the highest-ranking person to not be a degree coordinator
so of course, hes the new degree coordinator
but oh no, nezu isnt done
hes coordinating with mic, and they are the two primary lecturers for the two first, second and third-year compulsory subjects so aizawa is having a mini breakdown rant at allmight in the staff room when mic bursts in to say hello
allmight shoves aizawa in the cupboard and nervously chats to mic as aizawa tries not to make a noise from where he was quickly shoved into a cupboard of skeletons. hes internally saying sorry to the skeleton of that one tutor who donated himself to the uni. mic leaves, allmight helps him out and aizawa is just caught between pissed and flustered tbh
so the science people band together to allow aizawa to drown his sorrows in the nice food on the other side of the campus
and they have fucking, disguised aizawa
hes in one of nemuri's wigs, a pair of sunglasses from snipe and one of the nice lab techs named inko gave him a big puffy coat
and so this pack of science nerds is penguin huddle sprinting to the one ramen shop they all love, trying to hide aizawa from nezu, hizashi, and other random law students/lecturers hes pissed off
so allmight swears he sees hizashi but its nbd he only waves
so they get there, and all give aizawa sympathetic looks and buy him his lunch even though he insists he has money. inko the lab tech is there too bc i love her and she is aggressively mothering aizawa
when they are done they run back to the science side because no one has the courage needed to stop a hoard of sprinting scientists. also: nemuri is the chem lecturer and you should know that
its like the middle of the school year when this starts, so aizawa and hizashi have to scrap together this degree real fucking quickly
even though the both of them have Opinions about the other, they refuse to let their students suffer bc of how poorly planned this was so they knuckle the fuck down and bust out 1.5 years worth of content before the end of the year. they dont do much in person, mostly just emailing
aizawa is softer on mic bc they guy isn't horrific over email. unknown to him mic has developed a full-on crush on this guy
hes like, crying to joke "hes just,,, he wants to do good for his students you know? he isnt just a lecturer for the research money,,, he c a r e s,,,"
the whole god damn science faculty is mothered by the head lab animal tech, inko and they see her fretting about one day, and its turns out this whole fucking time shes had a son and didn't want to say anything bc she didn't wanna impose
(yagi has a big ol crush on her but nbd)
and so shes surrounded by all these nerds asking ab izuku and how old he is, and what he likes to do and they've never seen her happier rambling about her son. She tells them she let slip ab the new degree a little early, and izuku wants to be in it so badly and everyone is real soft
hes graduating next year, so thats even more motivation for aizawa to buck up and make this degree work bc he knows one of the kids now, and from what inkos told him, the boys a good kid
the entire faculty has already adopted izuku
one thing she hasn't mentioned ab izuku is that hes got chronic fatigue syndrome
aka izuku is constantly exhausted, his immune system is a bit shit, and hes in chronic pain that isnt affected by painkillers, other symptoms can just like, pop up, its pretty not understood
anyway, thats the reason izuku wants to get into animal law, not vet practise, bc hes not sure he'll always be able to physically pick up the animals and he doesnt wanna do them like that
anyway, its near the end of the year and its time to set the OP threshold. I have 0 idea how you guys get into uni, but an OP is basically: your grades are ranked, then your subjects are ranked, then your school is ranked by a fancy test. Your OP is the score from 1-25 you get with all that jazz. 1-5 is like: you can do almost anything. 1 is like doctors, vets, law. 1-15 is pretty respectable, under than you might need to do a little fuckery to get into a course.
mic is pushing for like, 10, bc its a new degree
but aizawa isn't having that. op 2 or he wont sign off on it and mic doesnt understand why and aizawa just turns towards him
"im not having animals suffer lower standards than humans. standard law is an op 1. vet science is an op 1. im already making a concession here."
mic swoons a little tbh, they eventually agree on op 5
anyway, izuku has an op 2 so its nbd for him, inko is so proud of her boy! aizawa has a little "thank fuck" moment bc he really did want this kid to get in bc he sounded like a good kid. also, mic's nephew shinso is in the first class! aizawa is actively trying not to remember the kids name so he isn’t a dick to him for 0 reason
there is like a grand total of 80 people in this degree which honestly isnt that bad
super high rate of externals tho, so there are only 50 students on campus
20 students in the campus dorms
izuku is one of them, he was gonna get in anyway but they put him in and gave him a nice first floor room bc making the poor guy walk up and down stairs for no reason is just mean
hes in self-catered bc while hes not super picky, hes allergic to some stuff, and some other stuff makes him sick, so no dining hall
shinso is his nextdoor neighbour. hes in self-catered bc he put his form in late and thats the only spot they had left! he cant cook so save his actual life.
so, mirio is the ra and hes a big soft 4th-year vet, he works out to give the dogs hugs
amajiki is his neighbour he has a cat - i mean - very loud fish (aka: no pets other than fish allowed)
when mirio likes people, he just,,, puts a cat in their face, and insists its a fish until they get it
that cats name is guppy i don’t make the rules
ok so, izuku and shinso meet and bond a bit in freshers’ week (think hazing, but gentle, with loads of games and forced bonding), but shinso is intimidated bc izuku is smiley and social and has loads of friends
and that does a 180 when he gets back to his room after a late-night walk, seeing izuku crying in the kitchen as he waits for the kettle to boil because a hot water bottle is the only thing that might stop his arms from aching
and shinso like, hides bc he gets not wanting people to know what's wrong but from then one he is SUPER protective of izuku
anyway, end of the week izuku confesses that he has chronic pain so he might be a bit grumpy sometimes and shinsou has to be like "oh its nbd" when one day he almost smacked their other neighbour with a piece of frozen steak bc he was making too much noise in the morning when izuku got to sleep really late
on the weekend they play videogames and make popcorn as the other kids go home, and they get visited by inko and Hizashi
inko is mothering izuku and has two very fat rats in her arms that she dumps on him and he lights up
see: izuku isnt allowed pets. but no one said anything about inko
so she got the two softest, dumbest, babiest rats shes ever seen and they live on her desk now. and shinso is like "SONs" and they have rats in their jumpers while all 3 of them play mariokart
hizashi stops by to help shinso cook bc he admitted hes only been eating frozen shit. izuku is gently telling him off bc he could have helped! but shinso is like "no i needed to maintain my cool vibes" so hizashi gently grabs izuku, sets up the two chairs like fluffy thrones and they order shinso around the kitchen like hes a servant
shinso is loosing his actual mind laughing and so is izuku. they force him to make katsu curry and eat it in the kitchen on their thrones while shinso sits on a shitty box fridge. there are more chairs left, hes being extra
so, first day of classes, they have principals of law first, izuku drags his pained ass out of bed and he and shinso make their way to class, both freezing fucking cold holding mugs of hot drink
they sit down
the lecturer is mic
izuku is losing his shit and shinso is like "oh yeah didnt i tell you?" and izuku is trying not to cackle/punch him. he waves sheepishly at mic who waves back with great enthusiasm
mics first class is just
KAHOOT
it’s not even law-related, it’s just random bs animal facts
shinsos name is c a t s and hizashi is losing his mind bc izuku set his name as d o g s r b e t t e r
the lectures r live-streamed so the external students can join in real-time and monomas on the other end like s n a k e
hizashi is losing his actual m i n d, everyone just has variations of their favourite animal
also pwease during this lecture mic is just chatting w the students ab whats going to happen, sees izukus mug of tea and says
"ok and just so everyone knows, please feel free to eat and drink in my lectures, just dont let anyone know i said that
"sir this is being recorded"
"shhhhh"
pls bakugous that one asshole that whips out a full course meal and starts distributing it amongst his squad. bakugo is just a plain law student, but there are some plain law students taking this course as an elective
mic honestly looks bakugo in the eyes, and orders pizza for everyone but him. hes standing in font of the mic so its fucking recorded too. izuku is cackling
ok so, they have an hour break and go to the cafe, inko crashes and smuggles them outside, and gives them the rats
inko and izuku aren't super well off financially bc they are saving for a service dog and its EXPENSIVE, even tho inko makes ok money, husband divorced her bc izuku was sick, izuku has issues, was bullied in school, has had cfs for ages
so inko has these rats bc she "liberated" them from the end of a cosmetics trial she heped nemuri run and nerumi stood infront of the secruity camera and closed her eyes
anyway, next lecture is aizawa's
shinso has vaguely heard ab the guy from hizashi and desperately wants to sit in the back row. izuku has heard ab the guy vaguely from inko and desperately wants to sit in the front row. izuku wins bc they walked in through the lower door and shinso doesnt wanna make the guy walk up all those steps
aizawa walks in, nicely says hello to shinso, izuku and the over kid in the front row, tells the people in the back row that if they think he cant see or hear them from there they have another thing coming, and immediately starts talking ab how many people working in animal-related fields and in law are depressed
izuku raises his hand, while shinso is aggressively trying to pull it down
"yes, kid?"
"what if you're already depressed, professor?"
aizawa pauses, turns off the mic and loses his shit quietly behind his desk, shinso is red and trying to hide, izuku looks proud of himself. aizawa gets himself together, coughs, and turns the mic back on
"seems we had a bit of a technical difficulty, continuing on"
and the whole room loses their shit, and aizawa is grinning like an idiot but his voice is the same pissed monotone as usual
just have to Be There for aizawas lectures like everyone who doesn’t show up is like :///// idk why y’all like him so much he’s kinda boring and izukus like No you have to Be There
in Person
everyone thinks the guy is a boring old man who keeps breaking his computers. in reality, hes like 26, really tired, and keeps losing his shit so hard he turns off the mic so No One Can Know
one time he walked in in hot pink leggings and when he asked "any questions?" ochako (a vet tech student in the class) ask "sir where did you buy those because they look amazing" "the internet, ochako. any other questions."
and bc you cant hear the students all the externals are trying to work out what the question was. it becomes a meme
last day of lectures they all show up in matching leggings. aizawas soft but he Refuses to show them. they fucking found the site he bought them from, all of them have pink leggings in increasingly vibrant shades
shinso's are like, lilac
izukus are eyebleeding, highlighter pink
anyway! mic likes to share the tea from behind the scenes
and so they learn ab the "really sweet department head with a crush on a lab tech" and izuku loses his shit. puts his hand up, and mic says "yeah?"
izuku clambers out of his seat, asks mic to turn the recording off, takes the mic and stares down the class
"that lab tech in my mum and shes smitten for this guy. totally smitten."
'ooOH SHIT REALLY?"
izuku just grins and nods
"ok class, extra credit. can we go through this uni's stance on dating co-workers. anyone who gives me a quick, sighted explanation of whether or not we can hook these two up gets 5% of their final mark, no questions asked"
fuckin, izuku is so on board with this, and tells hizashi he'll leave the assignments on inkos table at home if he wants, the whole class gets so fucking into it
anyway, after all that jazz izuku spots yagi and inko out for coffee together and reports it as a win, the class cheers
as an aside: hizashi is very open ab the fact hes one of 2 degree coordinators but he hasnt mentioned the second
its also very obvious he has a crush on the second, and that hes a little older than them (hizashi is 32, shouta is 26) now, literally no one thinks aizawa is the other
bc hes 26, and wears fucking pink leggings to lectures. hes like, hes baby. hes so small, so young, takes his cat to class in a backpack
its literally only the externals who think he could be bc they think hes like 50. aizawa has the curse of just having great fucking bone structure, hes really god damn hot. half of their love letters pages is people thirsting over him and hes so mad ab it. he doesnt brush his hair and wears dumb clothes but apparently, that makes him relatable or some shit
anyway, hizashi is off-topic talking ab the lab tech that mothers the other course coordinator and shinso sees izuku perk up
they guy has been looking out of it all morning bc hes having a bad day, but wanted to go to lectures. anyway, after the lecture hes scrambles over to hizashi and asks
"oh my god is the other coordinator professor aizawa”
"damn, what gave it away"
"mum mothers him because he never eats and he apparently looks like hes barely 20, which is false, but thats mum for you"
once they get out of lectures izuku is like
"shinso. shinso"
and shinso looks lost
"you know what this means, shinso""
"no. no i dont"
"MATCH MAKING TIME"
#bnha au#professors in love au#aizawa shouta#aizawa#eraserhead#erasermic#present mic#yamada hizashi#midoriya izuku#midoriya#izuku#shinsou#shinsou hitoshi#shindeku#if you squint
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The 2018 Grammys, which was held in New York City for the first time in 15 years to celebrate their 60th year, featured powerful performances from a host of artists and bands, including U2 (who performed outside, with the Statue of Liberty visible behind them), as well as Lady Gaga, Elton John (with Miley Cyrus), Sting, Kesha, and more.
Bruno brought down the house with a joyfully chromatic and high-energy performance of “Finesse,” evoking his beloved spirits of ’90s music and his own remarkable onstage moves. A songwriter and musician who has long honored his roots, his acceptance speeches were remarkable for their gracious recognition of those musical heroes who shaped his life.
“First off,” he began upon accepting the Grammy for Best Album, “to the other nominees in this category — Lorde, Kung Fu Kenny, Jay-Z, Gambino — you guys are the reason why I’m in the studio pulling my hair out, man, because I know you’re gonna only come with top-shelf artistry and music. Thank you guys for blessing the world with your music.”
Then, in another show of genuine gratitude for his own musical heroes, he urged the producers first to let him finish (“Don’t cut me off, Grammys, please!”), before relating a story of being a 15-year old in Hawaii entertaining big crowds of tourists. With no false humility, and to much laughter he said, “I’ll be honest; I was incredible at 15.”
But, as he explained, it was all about the timeless power of those songs he chose to perform then, songs which inspired him to become an artist and have sustained him to this day:
“Later in life.” he said, “I found out that those songs were written either by Babyface, Jimmy Jam/Terry Lewis or Teddy Riley. And with those songs, I remember seeing it first-hand: people dancing that had never met each other from two sides of the globe, people toasting each other, celebrating together. All I wanted to do with this album was that.”
By that, Bruno means capturing the spirit of genuine joy in the studio – and in the writing of the song – something which, as all songwriters know, cannot be faked.
“Those songs,” he said of the classic ’90s records on which he was raised, “were written with nothing but joy and for one reason and one reason only: love. And hopefully I could feel that again, and see everybody dancing and everybody moving. I’d like to dedicate this award to them. They are my heroes, they are my teachers. They laid the foundation. This album wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for these guys that had written these songs. Sure, I had to sprinkle a little Mars sauce on them. This is for them.”
His love of ’90s hip-hop and gratitude for those artists who made it has been a constant through the few interviews he gave about 24 K Magic.
“Obviously, you hear these ’90s influences in the whole album,” he said to Beats 1. “That’s because of West Coast Hip-Hop. That’s because of Dr. Dre and DJ Quik and Suga Free. This is what we grew up on. It was at a time when it was okay to party. It was okay to be flashy.”
To capture that celebratory vibe in the studio and inject it directly into the heart of his tracks, he brought together two teams of writer-producers, and like Michael Jackson in the studio, showed exactly the dynamics and groove he required by dancing. Merging his own songwriting-production team the Smeezingtons (Bruno, Brody Brown, James Fauntleroy and Philip Lawrence) with old friends the Stereotypes (Ray Charles “Charm” McCullough II, Jeremy Reeves, Ray Romulus and Jonathan Yip) he crafted this joyful, dimensional album.
Even after completing the writing and production of a song, as he had with Song of the Year winner “That’s What I Like,” he’d invite his pals to focus completely on the groove, shifting and fine-tuning it until it had that precise ingredient of danceable joy that Bruno wanted.
“Bruno would have the general outline of the song,” said Jonathan Yip of The Stereotypes, “and said ‘I need to get that bounce.’”
As Charm explained, “That’s What I Like” has a slow tempo, but is in danceable double-time, so that “you bounce twice to it. We love slower tempos. You can body-roll to it. We didn’t change the tempo at all, but we added those in between beats, which made it modern. These days the drums lead.”
As musical joy can be captured but not contrived, Bruno and the gang made the recording process, and the studio set-up itself, as conducive as possible to musical fun. “We were like kids on a playground,” said Yip, “with all these instruments laying around. It took all of us. None of us could have done it by ourselves. Everything we did we did together. It’s the result of friends having a great time in the studio.”
To get the party started, Bruno played everyone the songs he had already recorded.”It was very nostalgic,” said Yip, “and heavily drenched with ’90s influence, which is my favorite era. [Bruno] said he wanted to make an album that people could dance to, with music that made him feel like when he was back at school dances. He told us he wanted something with the New Jack Swing feel, so we started vibing out until we all felt we had something.
To connect with the authentic sound they wanted, Bruno and his engineer Charles Moniz filled the studio with those instruments used back in the day.
“We were all transported back,” said Ray Romulus. “They got the actual keyboards from the era we all loved. Bruno’s no less hands-on than MJ. He’ll be dancing, and then the next second he’s on the keyboard. To me, he is almost the reincarnation of Michael Jackson, and he made us feel like Quincy.”
As Moniz recalled, Bruno was always receptive to any ideas about how to improve the music, never clinging to ideas that went nowhere. “He has the ability to look at his own work objectively,” Moniz said, “and that plays a huge role in it all. If you’re trying to get people on the dance floor, but the song doesn’t make you want to dance, you’re going to have to make some changes. He’s never afraid to make changes and no idea is ever too precious.”
The lyrics came from Bruno. “All that about the Cadillacs and champagne,” Romulus said, “that’s how Bruno is. He’s giving you a day in the life.”
In the end, Bruno said to Beats 1, it’s all about the music. All this attention on him and his own life is fine. But without the authentic joy of music at the center of everything, none of it matters.
“I hope that my music does the talking,” he said. “I just want to do music. I don’t want to be known for any …. scandals or controversy. I want to be the guy that brings joy to your life through his music. That’s it. And I want to go home.
In addition to winning the three major awards, Bruno also received Grammys for Best R&B Song, for “That’s What I Like,” given to all of its songwriters, Bruno, Christopher Brody Brown, James Fauntleroy, Philip Lawrence, Ray Charles McCullough II, Jeremy Reeves, Ray Romulus & Jonathan Yip. He also won for Best R&B Performance and Best R&B Album.
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So I finally got around to watching that Disney Nutcracker movie... like.
(warning for Spoilers for Nutcracker and the Four Realms if you haven't seen it and still care)
(TL;DR - I didn't exactly care about this movie, here's why)
okay, thats not quite true, I mean, don't get me wrong, theres not much I loved about it, but its mostly harmless in terms of Disney's live-action roster of films.
I enjoyed the design of the castle, and I appreciated the step away from the source material, like at least its something different. That being said, I felt throughout the entire run time that it was trying too hard to be something else. I felt like I'd seen all this before, and then I put it together.
Nutcracker and the Four Realms feels too much like it's trying to be Narnia (2005), Alice in Wonderland (2010), and it just rubs me the same way Beauty and the Beast (2017) did, which is to say, the wrong way. And its not even ripping the good parts of the films it's trying to be (excluding BatB, there's nothing redeeming about that film and no one can tell me otherwise, this is the hill I will die on), the main, while leagues better than Mia Wasikowska and Emma Watson, still manages to fall into the realm of "I just experienced magic for the first time and my only reaction is a disinterested sort-of-open mouth". Seriously, she enters the magical world through her godfathers house while looking for her Christmas present, and she makes it a long way - like a good 15 minutes into the adventure - before she even expresses ANY sort of emotion about it, like, girl you just walked into the set of Narnia - you think I'm joking, don't you - and you don't even comment on it???? I remember watching the commentary for the Narnia film, and Georgie Henley saying that they'd blindfolded her and led her to the lamppost set so they could film her genuine first reaction, and you can feel it in that performance, her starry-eyed wonder feels real. Its a similar situation here, but again, Clara doesn't have any reaction to suddenly stepping out of a tree trunk and being in a winter wonderland. It kinda bugged me.
Then we find out that her mother is the queen of the magical world, and she's a princess. Cool, right? No reaction, nothing, no thought as to how odd it is that her mother is queen at all, its just brushed over. Okay, we won't talk about that either, look at the pretty scenery... except the very next scenes are in a dark forest that isn't very interesting, so now I'm just thinking how weird it is that she's just going with it and not asking any questions whatsoever, or being awestruck by anything. Its like how Alice in the Burton films through over half of that movie is all "this is a dream so it doesn't matter", Clara's whole thing is "well I need to find the key to this present my mother gave me, so none of this other stuff is important". Hello child, what do you even mean, all of this is important, and I'd like to know more about it, but no we aren't gonna learn anything about anyone in this film are we? Certainly not the nutcracker soldier, Phillip, ya know, the namesake of the story?
I'm gonna go off on a tangent for a sec, bare with me. So in the story of the Nutcracker (like, the ballet and the various other variations of the story), at least, any version I've seen, the Nutcracker has always been a prince and its always been Main Girl (there's a few different name variations depending on the story) that breaks a curse or spell or choose-your-reasoning over the nutcracker that made him... well, a nutcracker. Different things happen throughout the story depending on the version, but the nutcracker is always a nutcracker. This film follows a different beat, obviously, but here's just sort of a guy. We don't learn anything about him, he's not a nutcracker we have to break the spell over - they keep calling him a nutcracker, and I guess we see him in a flashback where he's a nutcracker ornament and not, you know, the actual nutcracker we see her little brother Fritz playing with earlier in the movie - he's not very interesting, but by the end of the movie it acts like we and the main character are supposed to care about him. And maybe I missed something, but I just didn't. Like congrats on being promoted to head guard or whatever, but I'm ready to move on.
Speaking of the movie treating itself as if important things happened, I don't know where I zoned out - I didn't - but somewhere at the hour mark everybody is talking as if important life-changing things have been happening the entire movie. And I'm sitting here thinking 'what are you talking about, nothing has happened'. We met three other characters who we will proceed to learn nothing about (and also my two favorite characters in the entire film who didn't get nearly enough screen time, hats off to the two guards), and therefore not care about when things get bad, and then we had a minor scuffle with the 'bad guy' (the one thing I can say is that I understand why people have a fear of clowns now). Everyone is acting like we're at the precipice right before the final battle, and Clara's all "i thought I'd find the answers, but I'm just as lost as I was when I got here" as if anyone over the age of 8 hadn't already figured out the 'everything you need is inside' is the most obvious metaphor you could put in a movie why did you have to make it so blatant if you were gonna do it anyway???
And THEN, we finally get to the biggest trope of them all, boy am I sick of this ESPECIALLY in Disney movies. They go and pull a 'the person you thought was bad is good, and the person you thought was good is bad' with the Sugarplum fairy of all people. This is the same thing that happened with Frozen and Zootopia, where it almost basically came out of nowhere (I'd watch it again to see if I missed anything, but honestly I don't think I did, I didn't see any hints), and there's barely any rhyme or reason to it. Like they give a reason. She's sad that Clara's mom left them and she has some kind of abandonment issues that I would've LOVED to see given just a bit more screen time but NOOOOOO here's another thing we won't talk about in any kind of meaningful detail. We don't really know why she turned against Mother Ginger (the original 'bad guy') specifically, and then the movie basically kills her, like, I don't agree with what you did, but dang.
The battle at the end, which I remember being a big part of the trailers that I'd seen, but don't quote me on that, was so very underwhelming. You had an army of tin soldiers come to life and set to go attack Mother Ginger, and you had not only the real army all locked up together that you could've released, but you had the "mouse King", the nutcracker and Mousrinks, Mother ginger, and Clara and her inventor schtick basically alone with the machine that brings toys to actual life, and we get shown her holding a box full of mechanical wind-up mice, so I'm thinking I know where this is going, she's gonna distract the tin soldiers, and bring the wind-ups to life to fight against the soldiers, its gonna be a big fight before the climax. But no, we get those weird roley-poley clown matryoshka things knocking a few of them over and then Ginger with a whip attacking the soldiers while Clara tries to turn off the machine (which I'm still not entirely sure if she did).
Cue one of the "she didn't leave me alone, she didn't leave you alone" speeches where the main tries to appeal to the villains better nature. Cue probably murder, I'm not actually sure since all the residents of the realms apparently started out as toys anyway. Cue the supposed heartfelt goodbye between the nutcracker and Clara. Cue Clara going back to the party and acting like nothing happened in what looks like its supposed to be a tongue-and-cheek way with her godfather who OBVIOUSLY knows that that magic world is a thing, but doesn't mention it. Cue an apology to the father and admitting that they both miss the dead mother, because of course there's a dead mother, it's a Disney film. Cue owl we don't know anything about flying away ala Labyrinth ending. The end.
It was all very... underwhelming. Like, I appreciated what it was attempting to be, and I really appreciated the CGI more that I have in any of their other recent live action anythings, but it just didn't work for me. Like I said, it felt like it was trying to hard to be something else, to the point in which it doesn't feel like it even has an identity as Disney's Nutcracker. That coulee been something, "Disney's the Nutcracker", but honestly it's so not its own thing that I forgot it was even a thing for a whole year, it didn't have anything that drew me in, it didn't have anything that originally made me even want to see it (I remember seeing the trailers while I was still recovering from BatB and even then I could tell because it marketed itself as "from the makers of Beauty and the Beast"), the only reason I even put it on was because I'm working on another project and I was curious about different adaptations of the story. Its not the worst offender Disney's put on their team, not by a long long shot, and it is mostly harmless - to the point of boredom - but I don't know if I'll ever go back it.
#the nutcracker#the nutcraker and the four realms#nutcracker#the nutcracker and the mouse king#nutcracker review
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Favorite to least favorite SBR characters?
I’m going to try and list all the named good characters and ill have a separate list for antagonists too because yeehaw
Good Characters:
1. Gyro Zeppeli - one of my all time fav characters sorry nyall you cant beat him
2. Marco - my bby boy did nothing wrong. so sweet and hardworking even tried to fix that dudes cllar in jail like i lvoe him so much.
3. Johnny Joestar - i debated this one cause like i /do/ like him but also,,mostly cause hes attached to gyro. i do think he had the best character growth of any jojo and i love seeing fanart and fanfics with him and hes of course a part of my fav ships so imma put him up here
4. Hot Pants - one of the best main women characters araki has done (tho she was still treated gross :///) her story is great her motives are awesome great design just very good
5. Lucy Steel - deserved better than she got!!!! she was so brave so smart!! shes a cute lil girl too!! and her story and lov for steven is heartwarming she rocks
6. Nicholas joestar - i know he had like what 4 lines and died real early but like he was the only good person in jonis life theres so much good sibling potential there and he seems like a real sweetheart i never have the heart to kill him off even in aus cause hes just,,so good,,
7. Mountain Tim - listen,,,,ramranch,,,,,, no seriously i liked his character and the scenes he was in his stand ability is cool and his design and like honestly if it werent for his weird thing with lucy he’d be higher up
8. Steven Steel - helping the heros helping lucy making the whole race hes just!! a good guy!!! i liked seeing him and his lame puns bless
9. Pocoloco - i count him as a hero he was like never an adversary of the gang. his scenes were funny and i love his stand my fav stand ability wish i had great luck. he was cool and i wish araki did more with him
10. wekapipo - do like how he went from villain to hero team and i do like how he was able to showcase another side of the spin power since gyro was the only one who used the balls before him. feel like there could have been more done with him and i didnt feel as connected to him as the others.
Antagonists:
1. Sugar Mountain - best of the antagonist gave me the sugar mountain arc which is the best arc in sbr yes. shes also like the most innocent of the antagonists she jsut wanted her parents back they were cursed by that stand too. also disability rep with her being blind!!! i know the bar is so low but araki gave us two whole disabled characters that were treated with respect i like that
2. Soundman - deserved better!! i think his motivations and abilities were super cool. wish he came around to the heros side in the end but alas
3. Oyecomova - great song, great design, cool and deadly ability, i enjoyed the fight with him!
4. Dr ferdinand - the orginal dino man, preferred him with scary monsters, good opponent and smart, think his whole thing with respect is funyn cause it makes no sense at all but thats the point
5. magenta magenta - i know hes supposed to be gross and annoying but i found him kinda endearing when he wasnt fighting. do look foward to seeing his adaptation in the anime a lot. he also had some character growth to becoming a better opponent which is cool to see. dont like some of his gross tendecies but other than that hes p fun
6. DISCO - no personality literally said one line but like i admire that. cool stand and one of the more fun fights to read. also like the song hes named after
7. all the boom booms - liked their abilities!! dont remember much about their like personalities but i dont think it was that important for their part in the story
8. pork pie hat kid - his fight did give that hysterical scene with johnny punting that insect out from his hiding place but other than that meh his stand ability is kinda cool but his deisgn and name arent fun
9. Mrs. Robinson - insects?? i dont fux with that no thank you. had cool design tho and liked how he was a dude who used mrs
10. ringo roadagain - i mean he did give that great gyjo scene but other than that meh. coolish ability. his design isnt that great.
11. eleven men - cool ability! part of one of my arcs. their design is really weird tho and they had no personality so towards the bottom they go
12. mike o - honestly forgot he exists but that just makes him better than everyone under him cause everyone under him i just straight up dislike or hate
13. diego brando - hes certainly better than dio! but uh thats all hes got going for him. dinos are cool too and i do appreciate his backstory. used to like him a wee bit more but fandom made me hate him so here he goes
14. axl ro - honestly wouldnt dislike him if he didnt give me civil war aka one of the worst arcs in sbr if not the worst. his design is boring and i can't even rememebr if he had a backstory. his stand ability sucks too so here towards the bottom he goes.
15. blackmore - was just a weirdo the whole time and also killed one of my favs so like fuckhim
16. funny valentine - my least favorite villain like in all of jojo i wrote a post about him already you know
#jjba#shut up coco#sbr#long post#thanks for the asks!! love answering questions :D#Anonymous#coco speech
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THE SIMSELF TAG featuring yours truly and her wonderful assistant, antoinette
1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? mia and thats all ur getting out of me
2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? oh god we have some embarrassing ones but jordan and jords are nicknames of mine and u might be able to guess the other obvious ones dgjhfdj
3. BIRTHDAY? february 25th babey
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? OH uhh princess diaries by meg cabot probably
5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? not to sure about those funky alien dudes but ehh yeah i believe in ghosts
6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? i’d say michael morpurgo but that’s probably because his books were shoved down my throat at an early age DKJDFGJ if you can have a favourite poet i can answer this: atticus and lang leav
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? radio one probably!!
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? the purple one. like, starburst? purple. wine gum? purple
9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? being the millenial i am probably Uh...li...litty
10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? OH Hm i’d say ocean eyes by billie eilish
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Hm!
12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? copycat by billie eilish!!
13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? LIE TO ME IS THE UNDER APPRECIATED SERIES OF THE CENTURY
14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? oh uhh i don’t watch films a lot and especially not if i’m feeling?? sad
15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? never heard of them
16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? OH jesus lets say. being forgotten or making no difference in the world
17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? oh Jesus not a lot of these GJFDH over the past mm month or so i’d say i’ve grown a lot as a person in the fact that i have more respect for myself than i used to, and if i have an opinion on something i evaluate it and decide Do People Really Need To Know? (DPRNTK)
18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? EASY my weird. defense mechanism thing. i’ve gotten a bit better in my opinion but the reason i’m usually in so much trouble is because as soon as i’m attacked, i act with anger? its some weird defensive wall that i put up and regret later because i’m not really thinking like a rational person. i just see that i’m being attacked and my first thought is to fight back
19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? OH cats because i haven’t had one in ages. one of our cats was run over and the other was taken by our neighbours and now he doesn’t even remember us or respond to his name so thats really fun
20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? SUMMER because my skin turns olive in the summer and right now. a bitch is pale! also school is so much nicer in the summer... the whole yeargroup feels like much more of a community because we all sit together outside n it’s just overall very fun and makes me nostalgic of year 7
21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? bitch u really thought-
22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? still in it but. because of a lot of things i was forced to grow up very fast. something i miss is having everyone in the house (my siblings are both a lot older than me so they’re never around) and not having to worry about fitting into certain stereotypes or WASHING MY HAIR!!!!!
23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? oh god ok so i have a “best friend” but we don’t. agree on a lot of things and she takes everything i say 100% seriously so even though we’re not close i’d consider this group of boys from my school my best friends. and online ofc i have Many Many good friends which i would name but i dont wanna leave anyone out bc i talk to A Lot of people DGHDFJ
24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue blue blue
25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? blonde babey
26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my brother
27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? would say myself but sometimes i’m not even sure i can trust HER
28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? i think about people loads because im a lonely romantic so. i’d say Love Interest and i think about myself a whole lot too like who does this bitch think she is
29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? all the time i’m looking forward to things bc. not a whole lot happens in my life so if Love Interest looks at me a certain way i’ll look forward to going to school for the next couple weeks FDJGHFDJ
30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? i think of the future way too much. she’s a dreamer
31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? oh god uhhh i used to cry at in the night garden all the time when it ended bc i hated that iggle piggle sailed away on his boat DJHFD it was probably still my favourite though
32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? i had a best friend who moved away after year seven and i feel like i could but. who knows we haven’t seen each other for years
33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? sigh i think so like does it count if my tarot deck says not to do something because. i trust those tarot bitches with all my soul if i have one
34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? don’t like the dark, i have a fear of holes, can’t sleep without the door open, can’t sleep when i can see in a mirror (fun fact theres a mirror in my room but it’s on a shelf which i can barely see at night like. i can see a glimpse. but knowing it’s there freaks me out so its flipped and has something covering it)
35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? oh ummmm in front i guess because 1. i look horrible in photos other people have taken of me 2. technically being in front of it. you can still take selfies and 3. the people i know take pictures from really weird angles
36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? we love a bit of vidya games but i love reading poetry because i’m a whore and also i like singing but that doesn’t mean im good at it!
37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? UHHH god i really dont read uhh probably lullabies by lang leav
38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? romeo and juliet (the blessed one featuring young leo dicaprio)
39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i can play the guitar, the recorder, a bit of the piano
40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? GIRAFFES it’s really sad that they’re now endangered. if ur talkin domestic pets i love guinea pigs, cats and (i’ve never had them but rats
41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? don’t. this’ll turn into a follow forever and i won’t get any clout bc it’s in such a long post !
42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? OH hm. i thought as hard as my tiny brain could about this and i think teleportation would be interesting but if we can choose ANY superpower. is magic one? that’d b pretty wack
43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? when i’m walking to school at half 7 in the morning and no one’s there and i can hear the trees lining the field rustling in the wind in the distance. it was rainng this morning and even though my whole ass was exposed from the wind and i was soaking it was really peaceful. also there’s a red kite that’s resident to our school field and i love to stand there in the morning and watch it sometimes
44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? feeling included DGJHDJ doesn’t happen a whole lot
45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i play a lot of sports because i’m in school obviously but i’m really good at rugby bc a bitch is Tactical and Nimble. i love hockey and badminton and stuff though
46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? i LOVE smoothies and milkshakes and everything ugh. i’d be bold enough to say i love drinks more than i love food. like apple juice orange juice MIXED juice smoothies BROWN BAG MILKSHAKES! BITCH! THE STRAWBERRY ONE IS SO GOOD UGH
47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? oh jesus um. 4 years ago
48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? fuck yeah brother
49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? UGH A LOT OF THINGS like. people biting their nails. people tapping their foot on my chair. people not listening when you’re explaining something THEY needed help with. tapping a pen on a desk or clicking it on and off
50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nop
51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? my mother is a vegetarian so i eat a lot of vegetarian meals. sometimes i get really put off meat but like. a bitch is 13 and doesn’t pay for her own meals so she doesn’t really get a say in what she eats
52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? always wanted to entertain people and be nationally recognised. take that as u will
53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? TOO MANY let’s go... the arcana so i can marry the 1 (one) love of my life dr julian ilyushka devorak... chill in the hanged man’s realm...
54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? i don’t worry about a lot not gonna lie to u
55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? cheers i’ll drink to that broe
56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? if the screeching sound i make to a slight tune counts as singing then. yes
57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? not illegally but i’ve had days off sick where i wasn’t sick bc i couldn’t be asked
58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? alone
59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? somewhere safe
60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yeah i have a dog and a cat but as i said m cat got taken by my neighbours and doesn’t even remember us so sjfhdjg
61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but if i’m rested well enough i love being up early
62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsets
63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? no a bitch is 13
64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? probably headphones bc i can’t lose them and the sound quality is better but i’m not a MONSTER so earphones. also headphones automatically make old people scoff at u and hate u more
65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah
66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? whatever’s poetic enough to be On Brand
67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? don’t really have one
68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? no
69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? the holier than thou attitude Often showcased on simblr by some. familiar faces
70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? it doesn’t really make a difference
71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? computer science (mainly for the people because right now we’re just making fucking. powerpoints) or english bc of the people again
72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? yee a brother and a sister
73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? christmas presents and some perfume & a purse for me
74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′4
75. CAN YOU COOK? not well
76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? attention DFJHGSDJ uhh being kind to people who deserve it and hard work paying off
77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? patronization, people who believe their opinion is the only opinion and people who cause minor inconveniences for you for no reason
78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? more female probably but i prefer guys
79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? i say bisexual but no one’s ever been close enough to let me find out
80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? party in the UK
81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? kyla rosymiel
82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? UHHH i really can’t remember i know me and kyla were talking about something and i started crying JGFHDGJ
83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? oh god umm probably smii7y but i also really like all his friends like. kryoz etc
84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? when i look good FJDHSJD
85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? would say tumblr but she’s gone ! right now i’m really feeling zepeto bc It May Be Tracking Me but it lets me take pics with all my online friends and i have some sort of weird following on there SDFHSDJ
86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? i don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully confide in them, i really like my dad but there’s elements of him that don’t really float my boat. same with my mum but i’m less close with her
87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? probably australian or. is it swiss? might be swiss.
88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? france and ofc america
89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 4
90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? with like 2 things skdghsd
91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? not really but i believe in a higher power of some sort and a life after death. i believe there’s something out there that is listening but i prefer to think it’s the stars
92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? i find the ocean really ineresting but man will always romanticise space
93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im a 13 year old white girl how ruthless can i be
94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? sesame seeds
95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nop but everyone else in my family can
96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nope
97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? whenever i realise
98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest
99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission
100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? i lie all the time but i am. SO terrible ASJDFHJ i would love to lie less but it’s so easy to slip into one
101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? gryffindor
102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? hell yea brother
103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? kyla put ambivert so i looked that up and. yeah
104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? did when i was younger but i guess tumblr is somewhat of a personal diary
105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends
106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? turn it in most likely
107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? “yes, but you should never forget about their past” thanks kyla
108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? only monsters aren’t
109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? nope
110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? i have my ears pierced. WILD i know
111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? UGH FUCK DR JULIAN ILYUSHKA DEVORAK!! it’d be illegal for him to marry anyone but me though
112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yep! i have a tattoo on my back. i plan on getting a lot more tattoos in the future, but i don’t want anymore in the near future
113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? being outspoken and not. watching things pass by
114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? of course
115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? nopee
116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? oof i really don’t know because of what’s happened to me i don’t know if i could knowing i could never protect them from everything. idk pregnancy seems very nice but once the kid gets annoying thats It for me
117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? “i think everyone is smart in their own way” thanks kyla
118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? i started laughing once in drama and i pissed myself a lil and i was like ehh thats fine i do that all the time and then i didnt stop pissing and someone was like ‘whats that wet on the floor? they were like mia have u pissed urslef i was like nOSDJF so i had to ask the teacher to leave. u coiuld see the piss down my leg
119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? have u SEEN these bags. she’s seen hell
120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES? like varying tones of beige and then grey/black
121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? of course
122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? oh uhhh i feel like maybe when i was younger but i’ve. repressed that memory if i have it
123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 13 years young
124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? oh jesus something poetic and by atticus probably let’s see
after spending more time searching for a quote than i did on literally this whole tag, i decided on this. and then i realised. it will always be ‘YOU ARE A SAD BOY’
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@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]
I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want.
anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!
1. what is your name?
julian
2. what is your nickname?
jewel, jules
3. birthday?
oct 26th
4. what is your favorite book series?
percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul
5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?
yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit
6. who is your favorite author?
maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much
7. what is your favorite radio station?
ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.
8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?
blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue
9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?
cool. or bitchin’. i play it simple
10. what is your current favorite song?
hands like houses - revive
11. what is your favorite word?
roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !
12. what was the last song you listened to?
emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!
13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?
the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay
14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?
moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it
15. do you play video games?
16. what is your biggest fear?
idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !
17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?
im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....
18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?
....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker
9. do you like cats or dogs better?
cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do
20. what is your favorite season?
autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/
21. are you in a relationship?
nope
22. what is something you miss from your childhood?
the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!
23. who is your best friend?
my ex
24. what is your eye color?
25. what is your hair color?
26. who is someone you love?
my mom
27. who is someone you trust?
not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that
28. who is someone you think about often?
are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....
29. are you currently excited about/for something?
my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed
30. what is your biggest obsession?
sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours
31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?
there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?
32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?
my ex, again
33. are you superstitious?
not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree
34. do you have any unusual phobias?
i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!
35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?
behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film
36. what is your favorite hobby?
sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works
37. what was the last book you read?
The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized
38. what was the last movie you watched?
coco i think???
39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?
drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly
40. what is your favorite animal?
ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?
uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !
42. what superpower do you wish you had?
shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!
43. when and where do you feel most at peace?
chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice
44. what makes you smile?
always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time
45. what sports do you play, if any?
i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing
46. what is your favorite drink?
dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage
47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?
two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF
48. are you afraid of heights?
nope! very excited by them actually
49. what is your biggest pet peeve?
i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)
50. have you ever been to a concert?
yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it
51. are you vegan/vegetarian?
nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much
52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?
ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!
53. what fictional world would you like to live in?
pokemon universe or bust.
54. what is something you worry about?
never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities
55. are you scared of the dark?
yes but a reasonable amount i think
56. do you like to sing?
yes :]
57. have you ever skipped school?
yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much
58. what is your favorite place on the planet?
dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own
59. where would you like to live?
oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now
60. do you have any pets?
a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee
61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?
night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day
62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?
sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing
63. do you know how to drive?
nope ! im gay !
64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?
headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more
65. have you ever had braces?
nope! but i need them
66. what is your favorite genre of music?
post-hardcore maybe?
67. who is your hero?
every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that
68. do you read comic books?
i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me
69. what makes you the most angry?
i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up
70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?
real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me
71. what was your favorite subject in school?
language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff
72. do you have any siblings?
two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno
73. what was the last thing you bought?
mocha frappe baby!!!!!
74. how tall are you?
5′4″
75. can you cook?
a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning
76. what are three things that you love?
storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs
77. what are three things that you hate?
unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list
78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?
female i think?
79. what is your sexual orientation?
im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about
80. where do you currently live?
oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out
81. who was the last person you texted?
my friend jojo! just Now!
82. when was the last time you cried?
yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon
83. who is your favorite youtuber?
the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh
84. do you like to take selfies?
depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not
85. what is your favorite app?
ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction
86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?
dad = bad
mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad
87. what is your favorite foreign accent?
i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway
88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?
Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)
89. what is your favorite number?
6!! 26 also
90. can you juggle?
ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[
91. are you religious?
i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion
92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?
space probably theres so fucking much of it man!
93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?
not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)
94. are you allergic to anything?
pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway!
95. can you curl your tongue?
nope :[
96. can you wiggle your ears?
nope :[
97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?
usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it
98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?
ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!
99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?
probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.
100. are you a good liar?
sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble
101. what is your hogwarts house?
i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference
102. do you talk to yourself?
i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out
103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?
extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine
104. do you keep a journal/diary?
nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers
105. do you believe in second chances?
depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh
106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?
turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that
107. do you believe that people are capable of change?
absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form
108. are you ticklish?
yes, dangerously so
109. have you ever been on a plane?
nope
110. do you have any piercings?
one day hopefully!
111. what fictional character do you wish was real?
asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect
112. do you have any tattoos?
nope...one day! hopefully!
113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?
accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction
114. do you believe in karma?
yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however
115. do you wear glasses or contacts?
glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch
116. do you want children?
I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow
117. who is the smartest person you know?
probably my friend jojo
118. what is your most embarrassing memory?
one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!
119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?
120. what colour are most of you clothes?
black i didnt even have to think about that one
121. do you like adventures?
they are pretty swell
122. have you ever been on tv?
a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune
123. how old are you?
21
124. what is your favorite movie quote?
this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but
“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”
hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her
125. sweet or savory?
sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow
#tag meme#about#srry if theres any weird grammar or spelling going on half of this was written when i had a monster headache#and was doing everything but laying down!!!!
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Suspiria remake review from a shitty movie-goer
(this review is posted too late so excuse me for some timing inaccuracies I couldn’t be arsed to edit)
(IF YOU HATE TL;DRS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE “THE REVIEW” PART. YOU’RE WELCOME)
I actually hate to admit why was I interested to watch this movie in the end, but for once SOMETHING motivated me to go to a movie after countless tries from my family to get me to watch something in theatres at a “reasonable time” (daytime is what they mean, this movie was at 8pm our time, and this is when the cross-city bus transport (it goes from one big city to another) stops doing their service lmao).
I myself have a lowkey interest in moviemaking (I’m already getting there by editing my phone-recorded videos because whatever). I come up with my concepts in my head and I am mostly willing to put them down somewhere in my computer so I don’t forget it years later if I want to make that concept a thing in the end (because none of my concepts are finalized... well except for one short horror-ish story I posted on DeviantArt (see mom, I do like some horror stuff!). Reddit as of lately inspired me to edit some of my movie’s plot-lines based on irl events (not related with anything too SJW), and I’m not sure how an usual movie-goer would see this concept but I am going to try to execute it... whenever I have enough equipment to shoot my own little films or skits or whatever.
What’s that? There are people who scrolled past this and already yell at me that “YOU ONLY WENT TO SEE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE OF THE MAN WHO COMPOSED THE SOUNDTRACK~~~”? Ugh yes you exposed me, tea all over. I even had “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” on a bit of a repeat as of lately (how fucking come I wasn’t too couragerous to listen to this song before?? And “Pyramid Song”??? Man am I discovering their pearl(ie)s(*) too late). And I’m occasionally on the band’s subreddit as well. And the man himself is touring ‘round the USA, signing material of fans and have genuinely warm chats with them. Admireable.
But that’s only half truth.
I never thought I’d see Suspiria on cinema theatres in here. Until one time when I saw an ad on a completely random Lithuanian website that said this movie is coming to our theatres 14 December... I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I made my goal to see Suspiria since then. I even dared to ask a couple of my new college ‘friends’ to see it with me, but one of them fell off the deal when I revealed that I’ll be going to see it on Saturday, and on the weekends he’s usually at home, far away from the city the college is in (he lives in college dormitory on mostly the work-weekdays). So my only movie companion ended up to be this 28-year-old coursemate (actually we both study different things but sometimes we attend some of the same lectures) who was intrigued by the Suspiria trailer herself so at least I’m gonna have her by my side of the movie, so I thought. Sweet.
I already envisioned seeing this in a mall cinema theatre but my companion offered me a cheaper alternative - her suggested cinema theatre was actually in renovation so the business is temporarily happening inside an actual drama theatre’s long theatre hall. I had to wait long until the ticket box opened and because of that I was lowkey frustrated as I finished my English test writing a little earlier, so I spent my time walking around the city until the time came and I wandered off to the old building of the cinema so then I remembered it was moved and I found the moved place. Yeah I bought the tickets before my companion could but I’ll skip ahead to the time that I almost lost the tickets because they were put down on a windowsill outside some children activity centre (Suspiria and children?? lol). I came back home late at night and was ready for the movie to happen the next day. Oh and before buying the tickets I coincidentally saw dance classes going on nearby that building... weird, as Suspiria has dance elements in there
The day came (December 15) and my family went together with me because they saw this as an opportunity to see the Christmas tree of our city (but not the movie). Needless to say, they were still visibly pissed at me orchestrating this idea, as I planned everything BUT the transport to go by. Well at least my mom and my sis. Dad was cool with it as he returned home to watch Home Alone. Aside all that, the cinema hall was cozy, Christmassy, not too small, there were a few trailers before the movie, no snack-seller places (as this is not a mall lol) - my companion was glad she wasn't at the mall as she found this place where we were at way lovelier.
Now with all that unnecessary long intro off my chest, let’s begin:
THE REVIEW
(definitely not spoiler-free, if you are sensitive to spoilers please watch the movie for yourselves before reading my review. But if you like being spoiled, I’m your friend then I guess lmao)
The intro to the movie felt like I ended up booking a wrong movie - I didn't expect that to be set somewhere in Germany, especially an American/Italian-shot one. Was that a thing in the original Suspiria? I don't know... (apparently it is, but the cities are different, never the country though)
Patricia (I didn’t know it was Chloë Grace’s role until reading the Wiki) looked like to be a really big deal here, with the dance pupils discussing her disappearance the other day and Susie overheard them, then Sara mentioned the Patricia thing to Susie after Susie revealed she was kind of chosen as the lead dancer for the Volk play... is it because Patricia was THE saviour that unfortunately knew a little too much?? Idk, it’s perhaps the reason we get to see the Klemperer guy subplot happen (I didn’t know it was Tilda Swinton behind him all the time either, must be because the way the male German accent was put on her lol). Turned out she was captured and kept under some dungeon where Sara had gone later in the movie, but looking like an almost melted and grotesquely old human being (or if Mary’s mother from “Chocolate with Nuts” was a person). Speaking of which, there is one more later in the movie, but I won’t tell just yet - we will need to get into such scenes discussion first.
Interesting deaths here, despite of them being grotesque and horrifically detailed. It almost felt like Susie, whilst doing her first dance as the probable lead dancer, temporarily turned into Olga’s voodoo doll or a violent bloodbender (that old lady from Avatar that could bloodbend was incredibly uncanny, damn) and left Olga completely fucked up, and the foam mouth later on... is this the effect myxomatosis has on a human being if it was ever humanly? She was twitching and salivating afterall. :P But no, she’s not dead until she gets to plead her death later in the movie! :O Several others occur throughout, but none is more prominent than this key scene I described, well at least according to TV Tropes.
The search for the evil person in this movie without Wiki helping me much was definitely a nice game for me to play. I kept thinking that Blanc might be that one, then I thought she’s not the one until she looked at Carolina (I think that was the tall tomboy’s name??) suspiciously and then she later passed out on the floor violently, with rabies foam and everything.
Anyway, don’t tell me Tilda Swinton wouldn’t make out a pretty good Thom Yorke post-Pablo Honey. She’s 8 years older than him, ffs! Also played a man before (e.g.: this movie I’m talking about) so the make up won’t be an unjumpable-over hurdle.
The sighs were for sure unsettling, especially because they oddly sounded like orgasm here and there. IDK why. I know fucking is referenced twice in this movie (well only fucking once and sex another time). Speaking of random things, the nightmare shots were completely random themselves, following up with some imagery we never see in the movie again, and some of that we see only a little (like the worms and bloody organs).
3 long scenes that were note-worthy for me. One is the Olga mutilation/Susie's first dancing scene that I already noted, and it was driven by music (the others will be too. Soundtrack of this movie still rules). Then there's the Volk play itself - girls go from one place to another, take poses of each other, dance individually, let their minimalistic red rope dresses flick in the air, interspersed with Sara in the underneath area and her broken leg (so broken, the bone went out of her skin!), and then the matriarchy getting her back on stage, but healing her leg with her witch powers before that. I haven't really listened to the rest of the soundtrack but I gotta check the song out so that I won't end up labeling it as a Kid A reject. No but seriously - intense dancing needed some intense drumming and painful instrument sounds just to project out the massiveness of the whole play.
Then I keep remembering the scene where Madame Blanc commands Susie to jump higher and higher in the mirror hall, up until she jumps as highest as possible. Also my companion’s favourite scene was the stare exchange between these two ladies during the part where people were singing some drinking song in a bar to celebrate ‘Volk’’s success - you hear them singing and then some chilling background noise slowly mixing and creeping its way into the atmosphere, then I think it leads into a scene where some sparkling aura entity wakes Susie up (and she’s nude) in the middle of the night and gets her to go down to this... dungeon orgy full of random stuff going on, complete with an Asian man doing something beyond explanation (I could say lewd but not quite), even more strange ritual dancing and the very much frightening Madame Helga... who looked like Jabba the Hutt for some reason. And then of course everyone slitting, slashing and twisting each other, and by the end Susie throwing us all a plot twist which makes her THE evil one who can finally let her ‘friends’ go of all that suffering they have been through thanks to the damn witches (and yeah apparently her dance friends haven’t completely died? THAT’S how they do - they tell Susie to end their suffering and she does). Also she cracks her chest open to reveal a... very graphic part of a female body that will by no doubt get this whole text review reported without consent so I refrain from any illustrations. Oh and this scene mostly has the possibly favourite this movie’s soundtrack song of mine, if not one of them, play - titled Unmade. It was a mind-boggling decision to do so but the movie editors do them I suppose, but still. I felt sad for the song having to be the background of such absurd but fair enough events? (Oh and I didn’t mention that everyone who voted for the other woman than Madame Blanc to be the leader of the witches (iirc) were rid of in this movie. Damn.)
Oh and the ending is rather an interesting detail, not talking about post-credits because as always I have to be this one movie goer who wants to do it but can’t because they’re urged to go back out of the movie theater. We turn into modern day Germany with a love heart carved on a brick wall with the letters A and L (perhaps?? at the time of finishing this review my memory towards it kind of erased some parts of the movie for me), a nice little remembrance of Lutz’s (the old man’s) love for his dear Anke, with which they have reunited during the movie, but Lutz was dragged out by some people related to the dance academy for probably wandering elsewhere than needed and somehow Lutz ended up as one of the sex dungeon victims, stripped of clothing and lying down quite powerless. That and before the modern day shot we are subjected with Lutz in hospital with Susie coming to visit, they discuss something related to the plot, Susie touches the guy speaks some more, leaves and according to the Wiki, Lutz “suffers from a violent seizure” that was nothing more than just a hard seizure. And it even erases his memories!
Anyway, as a whole, I felt more underwhelmed of this movie’s experience despite really wanting to see it. Like, “uhm yeah gore blood people getting slashed everyone’s a witch and everyone’s watched over by the witch and if you expose the witches you die” kind of underwhelmed. I didn’t want this movie to blatantly go through my head, but it did, that’s why I wanted to make notes everytime something notable happens. There was one startling moment, and it just was an innocent scene transition. And something within Olga’s mutilation scene made me chuckle (and made some other people leave the cinema hall ASAP). It’s more of a disgusting watch than scary. Also feels too dragged out in parts.
I’d only recommend it if you are gore-tolerant (there are people that can’t stand looking at blood so this might as well not be for you, especially if you’re younger than 16), like intense choreos that can impact other people literally, and... the soundtrack. Yes of course. If you dare to get through the movie with feeling its soundtrack, sometimes you might as well feel it right, but some of the soundtrack song usages might as well make you go “hmm” as much as me.
I'll remind myself to never watch a movie in theaters for soundtrack again (unless they're not THAT late). And the other 'trilogy of the three witches' movie remakes, especially if they come out at the time I haven't moved houses by now, because for sure as hell will my parents not like me going to cinema late once more. The movie is lowkey 7 out of 10 for me, can sometimes it's on the verge of falling down to 6 becaude of no completely proper comprehension of some directing choices... so 6.7/10 is good - as it still has 6 in it, but totally leans on to the 7.
Will probably watch it again. I need to remember some more of this movie sometime later. And looking for online uploads of this movie is unrecommendable - I'll wait until Lionsgate distributes it to America for wider audiences so that anything could surface 2 months (or even a few days) later from now. Though if I didn't need all that, I'd definitely not watch it again for a long time... unfortunately I want to.
Post movie feelings: my companion liked the movie, initially said to never watch it again but now wants to watch it again because it was so "wtf" she felt like re-experiencing it at some point. She liked the music (another bonus point for Yorke). She wished she could film the reactions of other people who watched this, as they mostly were confused, all being like "wtf did I just watch???". I'm already feeling bad for the 3rd companion who didn't join us but would also like to watch this - he’ll likely be one of those confused movie-goers.
#suspiria#reviews from a shitty movie goer#lol :')#spoiler alert#tl;dr alert#this review's looooong overdue but f*ck it!#suspiria (2018)#there's a lot i might have missed?#movie review#review
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11/12/2018
I feel really uneasy right now. I almost don’t know where to start. First my state is on fire. We’re having what’s called ‘Santa Ana’s”. For those that don’t know ‘Santa Ana’s’ are hot, dry, winds that come from the east (meaning off the desert) rather than from the west (meaning off the ocean). If I were to step outside right now the wind is 30-40 mph, the humidity is in the single digits, and the temperature summer like rather than Fall like. This weather is extremely dangerous when it comes to fires which is unfortunate because the deadliest and most destructive fire ever to burn in the state is not at all showing signs of slowing down. This is the fire that has burned down Caitlyn Jenner’s house and I just heard on the news its also burned down Miley Cyrus’s house. Additionally, a fire has started in the last 20 minutes about 15 miles from my house. My hometown is not a stranger to wildfires. In 2003 and 2007 my hometown was home to what was at those times the biggest and most destructive wildfires in the state. The Ceder fire and the Witch Creek fire. During each of those fires the entire community pretty much shut down. The local school district canceled school for an entire week during each fire. Businesses were closed. The whole city was evacuated. So given that history my hometown has been through you can see why having a fire start just a few miles from my house has put me on edge. Its really eerie outside right now. The wind is blowing really hard. I just hope they get a handle on this new fire really quickly.
Another thing leaving me feel really uneasy right now is I’m worried about my job. I do have a doctor’s note excusing me but I have this anxious feeling that my job is going to be safe for much longer. Dr. M does not want me to go back to work until after Thanksgiving and I do want to follow his recommendations but I also don’t want to lose my job. As stressful as my job has been it is actually the perfect job for me. I would NOT be okay if I lose that job. Dr. M keeps telling me to be patient and that its best if I go back to work when I’m healthy. I agree, especially considering what I do for a living. Still, I’m anxious.
One more thing, is that something is wrong with my body. Its more cosmetic but its definitely a sign something is wrong. I am losing A LOT of hair. Like almost half the hair on my head is gone. Thankfully, my hair is naturally really, really thick so I still have a full head of hair atm but its not going to stay that way for much longer unless something changes. This started before ECT and I think its ed related. I asked Dr. M about it and he kind of dismissed me in the sense that he just mentioned that is could be stress related, ed related, or med related and didn’t really offer any solutions. I’ve started taking a keratin supplement. I was taking biotin but apparently biotin dries out the skin leading to break outs and that was starting to happen so I quit taking it. I’m going to e-mail my actual psychiatrist about it (Dr. T) as she may be able to order some lab tests to figure out what’s going on.
Finally, and I mentioned this before, I’ve been experiencing some dissociation/derealization. And I’m getting startled really easily. I’m pretty sure thats a side-effect of the ECT. I asked Dr. M about it this morning and he said that although its not common it’s also a side-effect that is not unheard of. I guess I’m just going to have to use the coping/grounding skills I preach to my clients all the time. I don’t mind doing that-I just wish I wasn’t experiencing the derealization at all.
Well, this has gotten to be a pretty big update. Sorry its so long.
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(I'm not even sure if this is the place to ask, sorry if this is a weird question haha) I'm a fanfiction writer and now that angus has been confirmed jewish I don't want to ignore that part of him in my future works. But I know literally nothing about what it means to be jewish. As a jewish fanfiction writer yourself, do you have any advice about how I could respectfully write a jewish angus?
no its a great question!!!! dont worry about asking - if anything, im super glad you’re looking to create good representation!! (and humbled that you’re here asking me? fuck)
tl;dr: being respectful really just means putting thought into your character, and treating judaism like you would any other facet of someone’s personality. most of the time, it won’t be that prominent! but if you don’t think about it, you’re going to end up writing it badly.
under the readmore, however: how to approach thinking about judaism and working it into a character.
ok first of all, if you’re not jewish and know nothing about judaism, there’s a couple of things you should get.
first: ethnicity is key.i’ll leave you to do the googling on the terms - the key to all good representation is research - but if youre european/american, you most likely adhere to a denomination (which, for the numerical majority of jews, is either orthodox, conservative, or reform), if you’re from the middle east/north africa/actual real africa/far east, or live in israel now, you’re likely not to.
second: surprisingly, politics dont matter. tradition, however, does.you can be liberal and orthodox and conservative and reform, even though orthodox judaism is the more traditional/patriarchal in nature of the two denominations. but you’ve probably heard of if not seen fiddler on the roof - its incredibly hard to stray against what you’ve been raised when youre jewish, mostly because most of your jewish identity comes from your parents and your history! a lot of people do, especially on the political front. but even if people differ from their parents politically, they might not do so jewishly.
third: jews are a nation as well as a religion.jewish culture exists (though it’s different for people of different ethnicities), a jewish language exists, a jewish history exists (even though schools suck at teaching all of it), and jewish national sovereignty also exists and is important - hence, israel. at the same time, a jewish biblical canon exists, and jewish books of law exist, and those two have to coexist together. for some jews, both are equally important. some prioritize one over the other, and do so in different ways.
last: stereotypes are…. actually kind of important.jews love to argue. true. jewish overbearing moms exist. also true. jews control all the money in the world? actually, we joke about that a lot, but sadly that isn’t true. however, for a nation with only ~15 million people, you’ll find us in a lot of high places; we’ll attribute that mostly to our brains, though.when you’re writing stereotypes, think about them. every jewish person thinks about them differently and treats them differently. people who grew up in more of a jewish bubble tend to be more comfortable with them than those who arent.whatever you do, though, dont avoid them like the plague. a lot of them are true, and cute, and a lot of them are something id love to see in fic! as an example, take a line from one of my wips: “So, deep down, Davenport knew it wasn’t a coincidence that when he collected the seven, they all turned out to be Jewish. It’s the Jew-dar, Merle jokes sometimes, or the “you were looking for smart people, what’d you expect?” that Taako said once, but their captain’s more serious than that. He thinks it’s destiny.”
there’s two different stereotypes in there: jews are smart, and the jew-dar, which is more a pun off of the gay-dar than anything. and yet, they’re used light-heartedly, for a laugh that doesn’t poke fun! kind of in the same way angus was confirmed to be jewish.
ok, now that that’s done with, a disclaimer that i implied heavily in the last bit but is very worthy to say outright:
every jew is different!
when you’re writing a jewish character, this is the most important thing to keep in mind. a person can’t be just jewish, they’re jewish and [insert race/ethnicity] and [insert gender] and [insert age] and [insert socio-economic status] and [insert sexuality] and i can just go on and on and on, because even the men in black hats in nyc’s diamond district have a story and other facets of their personality.
so the key to write a jewish character is not to throw everything else in the garbage - in fact do exactly the opposite. decide everything else first, and then use that to reverse-engineer their judaism.now, this is true even for people who see judaism as their salient identity, like me! even if judaism is the most important thing in their lives, it’s that along with everything else that builds character.
let’s try it with angus, shall we?
okay, so who is angus?
-he’s a boy-he’s 11-he is, for whatever reason, mostly disconnected from his birth family-he loves to learn - an academic at heart-he’s fancy - his birth family was probably rich, or at least he knows his manners.
and if you wanna do some world-building you can - how do jews in faerun deal with magic/other gods/the astral plane/etc? thats a whole other post, but it’s interesting to think about in regards to angus’s psyche.
okay, let’s do this:
we don’t know angus’s race. if he’s white, what denomination does he slide into, if any? if he’s black, he’s either ethiopian or his family converted at some point in his history or he’s an extremely rare character. either way, his generation is probably like. one of the first to integrate into modern judaism. what’s that like?
he’s a kid. his judaism is going to change over time! how serious is he about it now? is it a source of fun for him, a source of serious learning, or a mix of both? does he make sure to follow the laws, clearing his dorm of bread on passover or fasting on yom kippur or keeping shabbat/kosher, or does he just light candles for hanukkah and eat dairy on midsummer?
where is his family, and why would they have left him? the days of ditching your kid in fear of him growing up bad have been behind us for millennia. if his family is shitty or dead, where’s the extensive community that usually backs up kids of his character? does he still have a network? does he go back and visit?
he found a new family in the bureau and the ipre - are they jewish? do they support him or just leave him be?
he is a boy genius, in most understandings of the term. does he speak hebrew? know torah trope or prayer or jewish law? or is he more of a jewish history buff? or does he like secular subjects better, struggling over yet appreciating the old text yet turning his attention to something else? judaism seriously endorses academia - is that where he got his love for it from?
if he’s fancy, is he traditional? does he wear tzizit under his clothes or was his family not that jewish when they got rich?
the answers to all of these questions are going to create the kind of jew you want angus to be!
and yet -
you can incorporate all of this character-building into angus and end up writing him the same way as you have this whole time - it all depends on the scene you’re writing him in.
your angus could be the same except he interrupts to ask a question about a religion/custom that’s different than his own. he could be the same except fixing the tzizit under his clothes is a fidget of his. you know what? his judaism is probably only going to come up in little snippets anyway - he could be asking taako which ones are the meat forks and which are the dairy ones, or magnus could play keep-away with his kippah, or lucretia could find him in his room studying torah. or maybe it comes up in conversation? maybe someone calls him a genius and he blushes and says he kinda struggles with his hebrew homework sometimes, and then the conversation moves on as if he hadn’t mentioned judaism at all.
so what do these questions answer, exactly? whether those snippets, those pieces of judaism that work his way into his daily life, are even there to begin with.
does it come up in conversation? does he spend his free time studying torah? does he wear a kippah or tzizit? does he care about meat and dairy forks? does he end up going on an extreme teen adventure and ask a bunch of questions or is he worried about merle preaching?
those are up to you, and those decisions are what im working to educate on in this post.
anyways, that’s about all i got! if you wanna find out more about judaism, feel free to ask - i was trying to avoid giving you a crash course on my religion and more focusing on how to incorporate it into a character, but if the former was what you were looking for, hit me up and ill write another 1500 words for you!
hope i could help, and happy writing!
#eden talks#Anonymous#the adventure zone#taz#angus mcdonald#judaism#this is important guys#fuck thanks so much for the question anon!#im honored you thought me important enough to answer#and tried my best
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***MAJOR SPOILERS FOR TANGLED S1 Finale***( you have been warned)
Ok so this took so long because I just took down my thoughts during the entire thing (which meant I paused it a LOT lol) Sooo without further ado…thoughts:
-omg Eugene still calls her princess casually I literally cannot its too much my heart can’t take it
-AHHH EUGENE SAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RAPUNZEL (I wanted him to do it during the movie soooo bad and he never did-it’s always bothered me!)
-I know she’s upset but like…Rapunzel’s sarcastic and angry outbursts are like…v hot in a badass way? Anyone?
-his hands over her eyes so gently 😭 it’s perfect and all I can ask for in my otp
-the freaking run-around her
-“come on, socks? She doesn’t even wear shoes, people!”
-UMMMM BELLE’S DRESS??? 😆
-the braid girls!!! ❤️❤️❤️…no rocks don’t hurt my BABIES
-OMG Cas WAS found out!!!!
-aaaand side note-Eugene never fails to look incredibly sexy wherever he poses, EVEN by hay bales-
-NO CAS NOOOO not the convent!!!!
-oh god what’s Varian up to now???
-THAT BADASS WALK I LOVE IT MY TEAM THATS MY TEAM
-Um pascals little walk noises are the cutest things ever
-casually throws automaton out several story window
-shortys back!
-Rapunzel asserting herself and standing up to her dad is everything I could have asked for she’s grown so much and she’s so strong 😭☀️
-nooooo don’t lock her up again!!! 😢 how could you do this to this precious girl, she needs to shine and you keep blocking out the light dad!
-that look out the window- I can’t-
-ANDDDDD tower life part two guys guess kicking down the old tower wasn’t enough lol
-GO EUGENE GO
-THATS MY HANDSOME BOY STANDING UP FOR HIS SUNSHINE
-MRS QUEENS BACK
-missed you mom! It’s been too many episodes!!!
-ugh I just love her
-he must be one tired king if he hadn’t slept in 18 years lol (no emma stop this is not a time to joke)
-YAS go Ariana for understanding exactly why Fred has this need to protect her so much but also for knowing what’s right
-uncle Monty?
-“OH SUGAR” I just died that outburst made my life
-WAHHHHHHH im crying EUGENE IS (slightly) IN CAS’s PICTURE WE’VE COME SO FAR GUYS
-she holds the picture so lovingly noooo she needs a hug guys
-I’m not crying you’re crying
-SHE PETS OWL GOODBYE NOOOO
“The last thing I was I ever expected was for YOU to be the one to disappoint ME” welp 😢
-❤️set yourself free girl ❤️
-(forever singing along)
-GUYS I JUST REALIZED SHE SAYS “A ROLE YOU NEVER CHOSE” AS SHE REPLAYS SENDING OFF EUGENE IN QUEEN FOR A DAY TO WHAT SHE THINKS COULD BE HIS DEATH I CANT I CANNOT TOO MANY FEELS
-AHHH THE BIRD MURAL IS SO BEAUTIFUL
-YES PASCAL
-“Keep looking fly boy” lol get it? Fly? 😂😂
-I love rebel Cass sooo much like YES GIRL YOU COME INTO YOUR OWN TOO ITS NOT JUST FOR RAPUNZEL GIRL ITS EVERYONE. TIME IS UP. LET OUR DAUGHTERS FULFILL THEIR DESTINIES.
-LANCE!!!!!!!
-Yes he’s part of the plan❤️
-Here’s to hoping this is the next step in him being more part of the core group 😊
(LOL ITS ALREADY LIKE 10 of 1am and I’m only 15:55 in because I’ve been pausing it so much to write my thoughts)
-“Well stan said it…so.” The SASS lol
-Pascal as the alert yellow light omg anything he could possibly do is just more adorable than you could imagine
-Well that’s a way to get up there to her window lol
-EUGENE EVERY SECOND OF YOUR LIFE IS NOT A PHOTOSHOOT HOW DO YOU DO IT -His sadboy aesthetic posing there just melts me
-Okkkk, so guess we’re just gonna wreck the whole castle now???
-OMG REUNITED ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ -That breathless way he says “hey blondie” (and isn’t about to be stabbed this time) just absolutely slays me
“IVE COME TO RESCUE YOU FROM A TOWER…AGAIN” I stg the writers you’re killing me ITS ALL TOO PERFECT
-SHE PUTS HER ARM AROUND HIS WAIST TO JUMPPPPP
-scaling down the tower, nice nice
-LANCE’S “ I took one for the team” please please PLEASE be joining their team permanently
-Oh my gosh oh my gosh what’s going on now
-“He has vilified me” yeah ok Varian keep telling yourself that
-Crap it’s already taken the outskirts of the kingdom? Are the people safe? Like what’s gonna happen to the families in the villages close-by???
-Eugene finding Rapunzel in the fog and pulling her close is goals that is all
-THEY DONT EVEN TALK HE JUST HOLDS HER
-protective Eugene is my favorite thing like ever I just have to say it’s all I want in life
-Oh my god what is THIS?
-OH nNO CAPTAINN
-“SIT TIGHT SOLDIER I GOT THIS”
-Captains hidden smile 😭
-OH MY goD the beast is poor bby RUDIGER
-ugh the way Rapunzel says Varian and looks like an angry goddess is just sooo good I love my warrior princess
-she’s such a smart badass leader calling the shots now
-Oh oh oh no what do you mean corona will pay? No Varian stop becoming more evil!!!
-OMG OMG SECRET TIME
-ok lol so the fandom basically guessed all of that haha
-Ohhhhh that moment was so special and I’m so glad they made up “Our kingdom” cries
-Lmao shorty is not even remotely close to Rapunzel’s size how does he continually pass as her
-Omg him singing wind in my hair ahahahhaa
-Oh gosh oh gosh! This is it! The face off!
-Holy crap a that’s a ton of automatons
-NOOO not pascal he’s been through enough this season!
-AGHHHH I KNEW IT IT WOULD BE LIFE THREATENING TO USE HER HAIR (Omg the sass is so real with Varian)
-No
-NO not the queen Varian you SAVAGE
-Oh NO SHES LOSING STRENGTH
-YES ARIANA YOU CATCH THAT SWORD
-AHHHH NO VARIAN NOT LIKE THIS
SCREAMS
-Rapunzel your hair your hair use it!
-OH SHIT SHE CAN CONTROL THE SPIKES
NOW SHES GOTTA LEARN HOW TO HARNESS THE POWER
-Awww “We have got to start finding better ways to spend your birthdays” ❤️❤️❤️ soo cute
-((Omg I literally can’t believe we didn’t find out Quirin’s fate in this finale I really thought we would!))
-Ahhhhhhh she’s finally gonna leave and see the world omg omg what does this mean I’m so EXCITED FOR HER !!! And she’s going with Eugene of course but I just squealed so loud!!!
-OH MY GOD SOMEONE HAS A BLADE STRONG ENOUGH TO CUT THE ROCKS AHHHHHH
WOAH THAT WAS SOOOOOO GOOD!!
(Update it’s now 2:24am eastern time and im wayyy to riled up to go to bed now! Ahhh)
I know this is super long haha but it was just to get out my reactions and thoughts so thanks if you got all the way through haha
TL/DR; You absolutely have to watch this show, this season and this finale if you have not yet! It’s literally soooo good and absolutely lives up to the hype! Help us get the word out about this awesome amazing show!
#tangled the series#tangled the series finale#season 1#secret of the sun drop#secret of the sundrop#Rapunzel#eugene fitzherbert#cassandra#king frederic#queen arianna#lance strongbow#new dream#tangled#tangled the series spoilers
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