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autisticempathydaemon · 1 year

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Hello! Are you hyperfixated on RedactedAudio?

Do you want (need) to know who to follow to cultivate your dashboard and feed your gremlin brain good, good boyfriend roleplay content?

Cool, I’ve got you, and I’ve got hyperlinks. Buckle up.

(Note: This is by no means a comprehensive, objective, or complete list. I've only been in the fandom for six months or so. I have biases and favorites and limited time. I hope to update this list periodically, and if you feel I've missed someone, please feel free to reblog with your additions! I just would have loved a guide like this when I got into the fandom back in August and wanted to spread some positivity~!)

Fanfiction:

@angelnoodlesoup: she/her

Sophie is just one of the sweetest David stans that's ever existed who writes, like, the sweetest things about him. Her posts are just going to make you feel warm, fluffy, soft things in your heart area; give into the sweetness. Highlights: Sophie writes this adorable timestamp series of vignettes exploring Davey and Angel's day, but I'm particularly attacked to their David/Angel neighbors to lovers AU~

@arrowfleur

I was actually going to put Max in the visual content portion of this post, because they post delightful Redacted edits on Tiktok (under the same username, highly recommend~), but then they made a uquiz that gave me an existential crisis, so here we are. Highlights: This quiz sent my whole server for a loop and has made me reconsider my relationship with Lovely as a character and kin; it's a great time.

@batch-of-pengwings: robin/bird, she/her

Robin, an absolute sweetheart who makes all the fun ask games that keep the community interconnected and thinking and talking which is just really sweet and fun in the best way. Highlights: The Winter Wonderland game is the one who went around most recently, and it’s so fun to engage with the fandom and discuss who we think is stupid enough to get their tongues stuck on a telephone poll~

@bicyclepainting: they/them

Clover, the fandom's resident Smartass, doing the lord's work and reminding us all how fucking smoochable Aaron is on a regular basis on top of being the coolest astrology nerd don't give them your birth chart you will be perceived /lh Highlights: No one is doing Aaron/Smartass like they are; like, read and absorb the delicious, domestic delight that is them. I also recommend their deep dives into the Redacted bois signs, if you're into that; they're very thorough and fun to read!

@cashandprizes: she/they

My Lexi, my queerplatonic soulmate… She is on a quest to dissect and critique fandom brick by philosophical brick, and I both love her and fear her in equal measure. (That’s a lie, I love her infinitely, more than anything, but she is in fact incredibly intelligent and intimidating.) Highlights: Come for the scathing insights into gray-morality and DD:DNE’s place in fiction, stay for the stripper!Gavin fic they’re working on and their sequel to Lasko’s SexTember audio because she really wanted to make him cry

@ejunkiet: she/her

EJ, the very first of my Redacted loves~ Not only is EJ an endless well of kindness and positivity, but she also writes fucking bomb ass everything. You get angst, you get smut, you get fluff- We stan a multitalented, ace queen. (She also writes really cute CastleAudios fanfiction and original stuff as a cherry on top.) Highlights: EJ writes just some of my favorite David/Angel smut; she captures Angel's little shit nature perfectly. She's also written the sweetest thing of Damien meeting Huxley's moms that I can't get enough of~

@dominimoonbeam: she/her

Domini, truly one of the pillars of the fandom. I don't know what'd we'd be without her fantastic fics or her original novellas or her fantastic, beautiful, rarepair-creating brain. Highlights: God, there's too many to choose from! There's the Sam/Darlin fake dating AU that has us all gripped by the proverbial balls. There's the David/Darlin tattoo shop AU that has me frothing at the mouth because tattoo artists are stinkin hot. That's not even getting into their Cam/William fic, because god, that is such a good rarepair. We love two immortals finding love with one another, we really do. My personal favorite has got to be their Huxley/Darlin piece though, because Darlin gets to be cute and awkward and so, so loved in it.

@frenchiefitzhere: she/her

Frenchie, the fandom's unofficial (but basically official) Marie Greer, not only a gorgeous writer but also the creator of the most fantastical and unique fansongs (who makes original audio content to boot~) Highlights: We would be nowhere as a fandom without the Marie/Colm greer backstory and saga or her audios as the Greer Matriarch herself, but personally? Her Imperium!Lasko/Adam fic kind of changed my life, I'm kind of obsessed with it.

@friendlyfaded: he/him

Miles, the king and professor of the rarepairs! Beware, you will leave his blog wishing for fics for a ship that doesn’t actually exist yet. It’s unavoidable when you read the careful, creative, thoughtful way he considers seemingly silly pairings and makes them gorgeous. Highlights: I recommend his whole rarepairs with prof tag for a snack and his Sweetheart/Lasko/Milo fic for a whole meal~

@gingerbreadmonsters: she/her

Ginger, literally one of the sweetest, friendliest people in the entire Internet. I cannot adequately describe the absolute magnificent poetry of Ginger's prose, so you just have to read it for yourself. You will not be disappointed. Highlights: Ginger's Milo/Sweetheart series is for if you're feeling sweet, and her Vincent/Lovely/Gavin/Freelancer foursome fic is if you're feeling spicy~ Or if you're like me and are longing for an character we'll never see again, you can read her gorgeous, Doctor Who-inspired look in Marcus's mind.

@glassbearclock: she/her

Beans, also known as the best Milo/Sweetheart writer in the game. Their banter is taken from the mouth of god and first name Erik last name Redacted himself, and you could not convince me otherwise. Highlights: I’m a big fan of her sweet, wholesome, Jewish!Milo sick fic, but aYO her Milo/Sweetheart first date fic is so good y’all like goddamn Sweetheart phases through their door and makes Milo faceplant it on accident man that shit is so good

@horrorscoupes: they/he

My beautiful, darling Lotus, my gloriously deranged brother in arms (affectionate). The way they write each and every d(a)emons is just so -chef kiss-. Highlights: I think about their Regulus/Doll fic, like, literally every day, it's just yummy and depraved. Though, for a true taste of genius, for a galaxy brain treat, you've got to read his Shark!Vega/Pet masterpiece.

@k9rage: he/xi

My beloved Calico, our helpful Image Description fairy. He is just so cool and writes the most glorious smut like the world has ever seen. As of publishing, he's writing a Vega/Lasko street racing AU that's gonna be just smoke ash cinder fire hot. Highlights: You need to read his Damien/Gavin waxplay fic; like, this changed my life, I think about it daily. Ooh, AND his Aaron/SmartAss/Gavin threesome fic, because he didn't do all that thinking and imagining for us to not appreciate it. I'm also reccing @calicostorms, his other blog and spotify, so you can get at his stellar Redacted character playlists!

@lovelylonerliterature:

Lovely, absolute stand-out writer in the fandom! Would you believe they have a whole (as of posting) 95 works for the RedactedASMR fandom on AO3? There’s <2000 fics, which makes Lovely a whole five percent of the fanfiction on their own. That’s wild and so hella cool. Highlights: Literally everything they write. Explore their extremely well done masterlist, it’s beautifully put together, and you’ll find something you love. (I’m particularly fond of the Darlin/Vega fic they wrote based off of one of FriendlyFaded’s posts~)

@romirola: she/her

Dr. Romi, the one and the only and one of the legitimate sweetest goddamn people that has ever existed. You've never met a more polite, darling person in all your days. How did she write all these thousands of words of art while getting a doctorate? God, I wish I knew... if only we could also be so beautiful and wonderful and accomplished. Highlights: You haven't existed until you've read her Milo/Sweetheart Tangled AU; like, what are you doing here? GO. (I also deeply recommend her found family Shaw Pack + Sam fic, if you're looking for something that's still ongoing!)

@sealriously-sealrious: they/them

Chrys who writes- no contest I think we can all agree- the best Huxley that this fandom has ever seen. He is just so well-explored and so multifaceted, just the top-tier himbo content we all need and deserve. Highlights: Huxley and Freelancer at the aquarium, Huxley and Freelancer going camping, sfw, nsfw, whatever you want, we've GOT. (There's even some imperium!Huxley, if you're so inclined >:))

@starlitangels: she/her

Starlit, another absolute powerhouse of the fandom. Just look at this masterlist, I think there’s something here for literally every character. That’s what babes call RANGE. Highlights: The way they explore the Shaw pack is so fun; I’d highly recommend her fic exploring Gabe and his backstory or her fic exploring the Shaw’s future pups~!

@taelonsamada: she/her

A pillar- or should I say fence post?- of the fandom and just an utter peach. Always has a nice word to say and says the best nice words about Sam and Darlin- Highlights: Her nsfw Geordi/Cutie fic holds a special place in my heart (the blindfold? the gag? Be still my beating heart), but you haven’t lived until you’ve read her Shaw-centric Ranch AU~!

@teasandcardigans: she/her

Mads, another lovely creator that could be in either section of this post- that's how talented she is! Not only is she a lovely writer but she also designs the most fun Redacted stickers! Also, she's got the only Redacted fan tiktok that Erik has confirmed seen and liked, can't not mention that it's so cool Highlights: Honestly, there's too many to mention! A really popular of hers is a "What If" echo-esque reimagining of everyone's stories which is so fun, and my personal, biased favorite is her Alexis & Gavin fic hear me OUT-

@the-sugar-crash

Cait, out here doing the most and the best. They’ve run the Redacted Winter Gift Exchange for the past two years, connecting blogs who might have never spoken to each other, inspiring creativity, and spreading holiday cheer~ Highlights: I recommend taking a look-see through the “Redacted 2022 Winter Gift Exchange” tag- much thanks to Cait for making it possible- to consider if you’d like to join next year! Until then, there’s a compilation of their cute headcanon posts to inspire you!

@zozo-01: she/her

Zo, one of the sweetest people in the fandom~ Not only is she a fantastic writer, but she is also one of the friendliest people in the space! Constantly excited and supportive and positive and a joy to follow and befriend. Highlights: Her Sam/Darlin Deity AU is going to change the world and break some hearts, I just know it. (Just like her Alexis and Darlin meeting fic broke mine-) If you're not up to getting your heart broken and just want a friend, I recommend asking her about her Powerpoint of Bollywood scenes that could be Sam/Darlin moments~!

Fanart:

@andr0leda: she/they

Androleda’s art is so gorgeous in that most of them are uncolored or working with a smaller palette, and it just makes those colors stand out and the line work all the more elegant. Highlights: Their wolf!Darlin piece got so popular, and you can see why! It looks like the cover of a really cool YA fantasy novel. Also, her Sam/Darlin art just melts the heart- the gentle hand, the key around the neck-!

@artbykays

Kays, a fantastic artist who plays around with the prettiest, brightest colors and has the prettiest (hottest) fem listeners. They also have super fun Redacted playlists! Highlights: Their Sweetheart, Valentina, is kind of smokin hot, I mean look at her, but also good lord, have you seen their Warden like lock me up anytime hello-

@belovedbow

Bow’s art just makes me so soft and gooey inside I dunno. Their art is so pretty, and they always have the most expressive faces. Not to mention the colors- like, Bow uses the simplest but most emotionally evocative shades of pinks and blues that make me inexplicably feel things, and I love it. Highlights: Literally all their Davey/Angel is the sweetest, but I also have this deep fondness for their imp!FL and Vindemiator pieces, because look at these deep, mournful blues, they’re beautiful!

@cascadiiing: they/them

Atlas creates the most beautiful, squishable, smoochable characters on top of being the most beautiful, squishable, smoochable (platonic) sweetie in existence~ they’re so sweet and friendly on top of being so talented at such a young age, and I would protect them with my life. Highlights: Their Sam kind of makes me so lovesick, I could barf- he’s just that pretty. Their Alexis/Christian art is fanart of my own fic, I’ll grant you, but it’s also so fucking pretty look at the dreamy colors and it MOVES-

@claracatlady

Where would we be without Clara, like honestly- What really stands out about their art is- other than the overwhelming talent- the obvious thought and joy that went into designing the outfits. Only the best from our resident fashion design student! Highlights: literally everything. If I must be specific, the David design pinned to their blog is utterly ahdhkakshdjsk, and I am particularly partial to their Alexis design, because I love my beautiful, possibly complex lady okay-

@fregget-frou : he/they

Mal has the prettiest Listeners; I’m lowkey in love with all of them~ I love the way he does such fluffy, voluminous hair, and I dunno, all their listener OC’s have this fashion model-esque glamour and posture about them that’s really attractive. Highlights: Of their listeners, Mal’s Angel has got to be my favorite. Look at this fluffy-haired cutie! Look at this menace! I would also propose to them, they’re gorgeous!

@gwenifred: she/her

Gwen draws the most gorgeous, swoon-worthy Huxleys and is just a big sweetpea to boot. Her and Pali sharing OC’s and art trades here and on Twitter is a testament to how friendly and sweet the fandom can be! Highlights: Everything she draws is gorgeous, but you haven’t lived until you’ve seen her animation work!

@ice-palace-art: They/It/He/Dae

Darby has some of the most beautiful designs, I can hardly stand it. He creates the most gorgeous, realistically proportioned characters and listeners, and they’re just really smoochable okay let me live- Highlights: It has this one piece of Gavin and Lasko having a sleepover that fills me with the warm fuzzies every time I see it, and their Aaron design fills me with longing I am hopelessly in love with their dad-bodded Aaron.

@itsdaifuku: she/her

Y’all don’t even know the little happy stim storm Fuku’s art sets me on; like, all her art is so cute and joyful and somehow colorful even when it’s in black and white? It just gives the vibe of life and vibrancy constantly? How does she do that? Highlights: Literally, everything she draws is gorgeous and sweet, though her designs for the Shaws and their mates are so S-tier and so cute. (I’m also particularly fond of her designs for Love and Alexis, my favorite characters, I’m biased, sue me)

@mr-laveau: he/they

Laveau, my favorite Milo kinnie~ (Yeah, I said it out loud; I’m callin you out.) Charming, thoughtful, friendly, much more talented than they have any right to be when they’re also so funny and sweet, AND also writing at their other blog @bratty-telepath. You’ve never seen such a double threat. Highlights: Literally, everything he makes. All his designs are colorful and gorgeous and filled to the brim with deliberate, intentional details (though I am incredibly partial to their Alexis and Darlin designs and the parallels he included between them.)

@nais-doodles

Nai is a fucking blessing unto this fandom, and we are not worthy. You haven’t really lived, haven’t experienced all the pure, positive silliness that this hellsite has to offer until you experience Nai’s Redacted Actor AU. It’s pure serotonin, and we’re all here listening to Boyfriend ASMR, I know we could use it. Highlights: Other than said AU posts (which really are so fuckin good), have you seen their drawing of Vincent and Sam’s Monarchal ball? Ooh, and if you go to their tiktok under the same username, you can see some of the really cool dating sim they’re working on!

@nanowatzophina: any pronouns

Na’no is not only a must follow on tumblr, but I also highly recommend their tiktok if you wish to wade through the horrid cesspool of that app (I say with tiktok as one of my top social media sites- we have a codependent relationship) Their art is super cute and expressive, and I get massive gender envy from the way he draws hair and teeth. Highlights: Her aspec Freelancer is just so close to my heart; I adore Avery so deeply. Also, the way they draw imperium!Vega and Pet makes my heart fucking melt and want to jump out my chest- the size difference, my god

@obsessivedino: they/them

Mint’s contribution to the fandom cannot possibly be overstated. Their art style is just so clean and neat and with the cutest expressions, and I love their designs so much, especially for the d(a)emon bois I just ahhhhh Highlights: If you’ve joined the official unofficial Redacted Discord server, you’ve seen their adorable stickers reminding you to kick that ass or hydrate unless you want to die-drate, and you haven’t truly embraced life unless you’ve seen their two-year anniversary masterpiece. Ooh, or pocket caelum!

@palilious: she/her

There is no Redacted fandom or fandom list without Pali, and we’ve all accepted that. Her style is so uniquely and instantaneously recognizable as hers, and everyone adores it, including but not limited to GBA, Nomad, and Cardlin! Highlights: Literally everyone she draws is so pretty, though I have a soft spot for her Vincent or her Nomad drawings if you’re looking for more VAs to listen to!

@pearl-kite: she/they

Kirehn has the most huggable humans and the most awe-inspiring d(a)emons. The way she draws the d(a)emons with constellations worked into the designs and color palettes is just so gorgeous and purposeful and thoughtful. Highlights: Their Vega is so frightening but beautiful, you just can’t look away from him. I’m also particularly in love with their Darlin!

@queendread

Do y’all ever do this thing when you see an ethereally beautiful person and you have no words, all you can do is giggle like a vapid schoolgirl(gn)? That’s me with all of Anna’s paintings: no words, just awe. Highlights: I don’t even really like Gavin, okay, he’s not my type, but lord above, Anna’s Gavin is something else. Their Sam also has those Captain America, boy next door good looks I imagined, it’s like they took him right out of my daydreams.

@ryokoaoi : they/them

Ryo has the absolute cutest, most adorable art style, one can barely handle it! Everything they draw is just so pretty and so colorful and detailed and sweet. (Except the sad things, those are less sweet but gosh they’re still so pretty.) They also have this Magic Swap AU that they design that is so fun to read about! Highlights: Their swapped! Gavin and Avior designs are so fun, I adore them deeply, and if you need something to cheer you up, you can always depend on their DAMN pieces that always include a little invisible Caelum to bring you joy~!

@slushrottweiler: she-they

There is nothing like seeing Slush’s signature blue linework on your dashboard, it’s such a sweet treat- or spicy. There are also very good, very spicy treats. Her blog is a magnificent roulette wheel of blue surprises. Highlights: I love their Sam/Darlin stuff, especially this one because wowee them shoulderblades, but their HuxDami BA piece takes the cake.

@spookybeandoodle

Spooky has my whole heart and wallet and my other heart if I had one I fell in love with their rich color palettes and shading and Alexis right away and had to commission them. Could not recommend enough, they were a treasure to work with~ Highlights: I’m not biased- okay yes I am but not now their Alexis is fuckin smoking hot but also their Cam might be my favorite Cam look at that smile-!

@sri-rachaa: she/her

Rae is such a treasure to this fandom, we hardly deserve her. Her art is so ethereally pretty and delicate? The way she draws hair and noses and silhouettes- her line work is just phenomenal. Everything she creates is just a delight to look at. Highlights: The Southern Siblings AU is a gift, a treasure, a boon that cannot be ignored. I’m also a big fan of her Lovely OC who is ridiculously pretty~

@tankwolf : she/her

June has been posting fanart for only two months, but I’m already absolutely obsessed. I just find her monochrome character portraits so visually engaging and interesting. I would love so badly to be friends with her listener OC’s… Highlights: …or more than friends, because her Sweetheart is something else good lord. I would just love it if June could stop putting the hot people in crop tops please (but also don’t cause whoa)

@terrazaurio

All the fanart Terra creates is so bright and vivid and colorful and expressive, they’re really such a treat to see and experience. I’m a sucker for the colors they use, cause it makes my lizard brain all happy and go “shiny pretty happy.” Highlights: Everything they draw with the Shaw Pack is pure dopamine, like this one of the bois and their mates hanging by the pool. I am particularly attached to this piece from Milo’s HBS, because they’re so fucking in love, your honor, I love them.

@thefablefoxart : she/her

Angelina’s Redacted couple series is one of the truest delights of the fandom; like, they’re so colorful and cute and just adorably designed. I’m also deeply in love with the way she does hair. Everyone just has really fucking good looking hair, and I can’t get over it-Highlights: On top of the aforementioned couple series, I just want to bring attention to this adorable chibi Sam that she drew- it brings me so much serotonin- and their Darlin, Kai who I wish would just give me a shot okay I have a Southern accent too-

If you’re reading all the way here, I hope you found the post helpful and smiled while making your way through it! Or both! The RedactedAudio fandom is truly one of my favorite spaces on the internet; it’s so intimate and creative, and I’ve found some amazing, perfect friends here, so I hope you will too 💖

again playing around with the formatting please stop hurting me tumblr I’m trying to be nice

If you can see this, I love you, and you’re watching me try to format this post so tumblr doesn’t cut off the bottom of it please ignore the Android behind the emerald curtain go about your day

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted

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lesbiansforlaurencezvahl · 8 days

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soooo random but what’s your opinion on most popular aphmau ships ?

OMG HIIII IM HONORED..... OKAY OKAY SO

first off I do not want to yuck anyone's yum!! I love that people love all of these ships and can find joy in it. Its my biggest pet peeve that people hate on people for loving stuff. I love that others love stuff :( these r just my personal taste!!

i fucking hate aarmau lol <3 it can burn in hell and I think its so bad and poorly written

garrence is cute! its not my go-to ship and I have no stronggg attachment to it but my best friends really really like it and I like exploring their dynamic + writing fic 4 them :3

i would die for laurmau. clenches my fist. they are. they are. they are the best thing on this planet. I've written a miny essay about it just because. when I have my Aphmau hyperfix I am actually so insane about them. @metelis-favorite once watched me remember laurmau existed. and then start to SHAKE. because I loved them so much. it was HUMBLING.

garmau is interesting becauseeee uhhhh I go back and forth. I don't think about them really romantically as a couple? again neutral on that.

(its funny because I lived in my sorority house this year and brought my Laurence doll @garrothromeave got for me and my roommate was like "oh we need to have garroth representation because I watched this when I was younger and I'm a .garroth stan" so we printed out a picture of garroth and they hung out together all year underneath the shotglass with boobs. UHHH and we would watch mcd. again. IN MY SORORITY HOUSE. HORRIFYING. and we would fight over garmau vs laurmau. society is HEALING.)

however I ADORE them as a platonic couple/soulmate kinda deal. they're so so so sweet!! again @garrothromeave and I have a playlist about em and I'd love to talk about it more :3

i LOVE LOVE LOVE garrencemau. its the perfect ship. again its interesting because I'm not passionate about garrence/garmau but I ADORE garrencemau its genuinely such a perfect ship. so cute.

i also love love zoeymau! one of the things I first got into when I got into Aphmau again. its so sweet. its THEE lesbian yearning. its so sweet. makes me go sniff sniff. I also love the angst potential with it. its so sweet :(( what do you MEAN Zoey gave up her immortality just to bring back Aphmau. what do you MEAN they live together and have two sons? WHAT THE FUCK JESSICA WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEYRE NOT MARRIED??

dante x kc is the cutest fucking shit in the WORLD. why weren't they canon in mystreet. we were robbed. ROBBED I TELL YOU. THEYRE SO SWEET. domestic bliss. THEE married hets ever. @bisexualsfordante says they should be called purple which is really cute

i don't care for zanechan. it feels lazy that they're shipped together. oh ones emo and ones pink? pack it up. bubbline wannabe or travlyn. it rubs me the wrong way and it feels underdeveloped lol

i have no real opinions on katemau but its cute! thumbs up to lesbians (heart eyes)

if you have any other ships you want me to talk about lmk!! I'm super hyperfixated on UHHH. Irene x Xavier (that guy that was mentioned ONCE LOL) so I don't care about any other ships. but I love aphmau :)

#aphmau #aphblr #laurmau #garmau #garrance #garrence #danchan #zanechan #travlyn #garrancemau #katemau #zoeymau #aarmau #aaron lycan #laurence zvahl #aphmau laurance #laurance zvahl #travis valkrum #garroth ro'meave

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naranjapetrificada · 1 year

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This is going to be long so the short version is this:

I convinced my therapist to watch the 🌟Gay Pirate Show🌟 and now I have to confront a previously unidentified and terrifyingly deep emotional wound that could be as transformative to heal as it is terrifying to approach.

My therapist and I have a lot of let's say...demographic things in common that have made this the most successful therapeutic relationship I've ever had, but also that just made me think he might like the show. It's no secret that ofmd has been a deeply moving experience for its viewers, and queer, neurodivergent, and/or people of color have written at length about the special ways it touches us (or doesn't). Those are three categories both he and I fit into and it feels relevant to say that for context.

So yes I thought he might like it, but I also wanted to pick his brain about Big Feelings it was giving me that I hadn't experienced with the same intensity with other media/fandoms. Y'all, he gave me a completely unexpected reading on the show (and its story and its fan works) and why it makes us feel So Much that I haven't seen anywhere before.

When I say Big Feelings, I mean like I've literally had to swear off a couple of pretty innocuous categories on AO3 ("Growing Old Together" and "Domestic Fluff") because they would devastate me in ways that I couldn't attribute to anything specific. Growing Old Together comes with the possibility of death separating them, which is heartbreaking, but that didn't feel like it was the thing that was gutting me. Domestic Fluff could probably be called the most innocuous tag ever, but anything that saw our blorbos settling down and watching the Revenge sail off into the distance was fucking me up as well.

There are plenty of reasons why OFMD makes queer people feel so much, but when I say this was fucking me up I mean like, well, remember when people outside of classical music started learning about appoggiatura? Like intellectually knowing why I was crying but at a loss how intense everything felt. And my therapist (who is as good at analyzing a text as he is at being a therapist) was like "oh, it could be all the grief."

The grief.

The audacity of this motherfucker (affectionate).

It's a romcom! It's a romcom that we were explicitly told would have a happy ending! It's a romcom where the characters will get to sail off into the sunset together like they want and like we want for them! Stede and Ed, after four decades of self-hatred and trauma and fear and isolation, somehow find each other. And one of the sweetest things about their story is that it's a late in life love story, because it's incredibly inspiring for someone to get to experience a part of life they thought wasn't for them. The inescapable fact that their time together will be shorter than any of us would like is sad but not unaccountably sad to me, because of how much joy they'll be able to cram into the time they have left. I could be wrong but I don't think that alone is the source of what's been overwhelming me.

Grief is a constant presence in the world-building and the storytelling because grief is a natural response to well, so many things about being alive. Grieving is some of the hardest shit any of us ever have to do, but it's also so universal and so many of the things that make us uniquely human also make grieving well, maybe not easier, but something we can endure and process through ritual, community, and the example of those we've witnessed grieving their own losses. Many kinds of grief come with narratives that you can accept or reject all or parts of, but the narrative exists.

But have you ever heard of disenfranchised loss? Loss that's not easily labeled or classified or given the time or space or understanding it deserves? Have you experienced a loss like that? Can you imagine how much more difficult it makes the grieving process?

Well what my therapist suggested, the thing that knocked me on my ass hard enough that I had to come have Online Feelings about it, is that eventually, we all have to mourn ourselves. Not necessarily in a "mortality is inevitable" way (that happens to everyone) but in ways that are often unique to people like him and me (black, ND, queer). Even if we work on ourselves, if we grow and heal our trauma and feel at home in our identities and our bodies and build beautiful lives, eventually we will be forced to mourn the selves that we never got to be in the societies in which we live and the selves we once had to become to survive this long.

And that mourning is a kind of disenfranchised loss, with no clear path forward. Obviously this conversation happened within the context of everything my therapist knows about me as an individual, but I thought certain things might resonate with other fans as well so I wanted to talk about it. The story of this bizarre little man and his remarkable second act and his lovely little found family and his incredibly beautiful love story (that we've been guaranteed will end happily) is still haunted by the specific kind of grief that comes from learning what's possible, and regretting that you didn't know it was possible sooner.

And does anybody have more delayed milestones, later-in-life discoveries, and/or need to invent places for themselves than those of us on the social fringes? Than those of us in societies unequipped for (or actively hostile to) the ways we exist and the things we need to survive and thrive? Than those of us who have to create our own narratives or be saddled with inaccurate or harmful narratives created by others, or even no narrative at all?

And narrative is so much. Narrative is everything. Narrative is the story we tell ourselves and each other and that literally shapes our reality. So those story beats where we discover something better than what came before are inherently stories with loss and will require mourning, because we mourn loss.

Even when the story has a happy ending. Especially when the story has a happy ending for someone who never thought they would be allowed to have one.

I mean just like, FUCKING HELL. I can't blame anyone for this but myself. I know my therapist. I know how insightful he can be. I did this to myself and now I have to live with it. But my god is it a massive mountain I'm about to have to climb now. My therapist and I have always found it helpful to discuss media that makes me Feel Things (see all the trauma work that came from Life is Strange) but if you had told me that I'd be looking into this new dark cave of unprocessed shit thanks to what I thought was just gonna be a harmless little gay pirate show starring fucking Murray from Flight of the Concords I would probably just have assumed you were in the middle of having a stroke and taken off to get you the medical attention you desperately needed.

#not to be dramatic #but I definitely worry this might still be dramatic #my therapist is great #but the problem with a good therapist #is that sometimes they will fucking read you #and then you get whiplash #don't be afraid to bring up media that speaks to you in therapy #you never know what might come of it #or how much it might shake you #I should also be clear that all this grief in a story with a happy ending isn't a bad thing #it just kind of is #and when you enjoy it #just enjoy it #every moment of joy is a gift #no matter the context #go ahead and grieve yourself #also I couldn't find an elegant way to fit this in #but the storytelling is very neurodivergent #or at least unfolds in a way that is friendly to my neurodivergence #that's why I'm not a big TV watcher anyway #but I was able to sit down and mainline this #it's the first new show I've watched in literal years #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #our flag means death meta #🤯🤯🤯#😳😳😳#disenfranchised loss

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beanghostprincess · 4 months

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EdWin is a rare m/f ship that works for me and i think it's at partially cause they're so bi4bi (the rest is their personalities and that they're both really smart and also childhood friends to lovers)

They work for me because it's one of the greatest love stories I've ever seen, especially in anime. A shonen. It's just so obvious this was written by a woman because the female characters actually have personalities and ambitions outside of the male main characters. And they still can be together without reducing them to being women only. And,, The way they act around each other??' What the fuck. I haven't finished this yet, but all of their scenes make me go absolutely insane.

Ed saying Winry isn't meant to kill and taking the gun from her? Ed saying that the next time he makes her cry will be out of happiness? Winry realizing she's in love with him in the softest of ways in that train? Ed wanting to be completely honest with her all the time? The way he protects her and the way she doesn't want to stay back and look and instead wants to help Ed and Al in their journey? When Ed rests their heads together to give her comfort? Winry giving Ed her earrings? Their whole dynamic is just beautiful.

And it feels so so organic and domestic because they're childhood friends and it's just so beautiful,,, How they argue and care about each other so much to the point of yelling at each other sometimes but being extremely gentle with one another? Like-- Edward is extremely well-written and he means the world to me, but I already knew that from the first second. But Winry? It was such a pleasant surprise to see her being so silly with her hobbies and passions and also having a personality outside of Ed but quite obviously caring about him and Al the most. They'd do anything for each other.

They make me sick. I wanna throw up. They mean everything to me. Honestly, this usually doesn't happen to me with canon m/f couples in shonens (because they're usually shit) but they're just so fucking good. And I agree completely, by the way, both of them are Bi because there's no way Winry doesn't have something going on with Paninya and there's no way Edward and Ling aren't completely in love too.

#not to mention whatever the fuck riza and roy have going on what the hell is that guys #winry and ed are just so in love it makes me melt #'i don't like short guys' WINRY YOU LIAR #they're everything i am so in love with their relationship #also i miss lingn't (greed) is he showing up again bc ed has to go 'nooo baby this isn't you' to greed and turn him into greedn't (ling)#fmab #fullmetal alchimist brotherhood #winry rockbell #edward elric #edwin

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linwelinwrites · 16 days

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

I found this on my dashboard and even though no one tagged me I want to join in!

Disclaimer: I write a lot of adult content, and though there is a warning on AO3 if you click the link and it's appropriately tagged and warned, I'll say it again: every fic linked with an (Explicit) tag beside it, is intended only for adults. Do not read or interact if you're a minor.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22 as of today! A lot of those are drabbles and ficlets, but I do have a few longer pieces. I have so many more I'm working on though!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

106.505 words 😄

3. What fandoms do you write for?

My main fandom is Harry Potter. I write a little bit for Twilight too and I've just started working on some Haikyuu! fics because of a recent fixation with the series 😅 I can't get enough of it!

I also have plans to write for My Hero Academia (I've posted a few drabbles, but nothing substantial), which I believe will start occupying more real estate on my brain as soon as I watch season 7 😬

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Deal, The Honeymoon & Beyond (Explicit) Twilight, canon compliant, basically fixing some fade-to-black scenes. Every day I'm surprised my oldest fic still hangs in at n°1, but there it is!

Pure fucking ambrosia (Explicit) Twilight, no pregnancy AU, a complete fever dream and slightly cursed—I blame the r/Fanfiction Discord and Jadzia specifically for this sinnery. I'm glad this one found its crowd.

Acquiescence to Inevitability (Explicit) Harry Potter, a Dramione one-shot inspired by another fic. No War AU, Hogwarts Seventh Year, very little plot but a lot of fun.

A Grave Mistake (Teen) Haikyuu, a cute KageHina one-shot about Halloween. Pure domestic fluff, Shoyo being adorable and Tobio being weak af for him

Memories, Not Dreams (Teen) Harry Potter, a short & sweet Harmony ficlet. Canon Divergent at Deathly Hallows. You guessed it, it's during their time in the tent 😅

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Every single one of them, as soon as I can! Comments are the highlight of my day, I call them the fuel for the writing furnace. They mean someone took time out of their day to let me know what they thought of my fic. That means the world to me 💜

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, that's an easy one. Just for tonight (Explicit) has two endings (a choose-your-own-adventure sort of fic), but one of those is the angstiest shit I've ever written. I love it!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That's got to be Man of Honour (Teen). Though it's a prequel to a bigger project I'm working on, as a standalone it's got the fluffiest, most HEA ending I've written.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Fortunately no, not even with the spiciest/weirdest fics I've posted, which I'm very thankful for. I'm a strong defender of "don't like, don't read," which I apply for my own reading. The little 'x' button is the only dislike button I need, and I'm glad whoever read and disliked my stuff (which I'm sure has happened) didn't bother to let me know.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I mostly like fluffy smut, though I have a thing for characters who are desperate, particularly if they view the moment as their only or last opportunity to experience intimacy with that person. I love writing service tops + overstimulation, which is a really nice combo; and D/s dynamics, because of the trust they imply and the fireworks they can bring to the fun.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't yet, but there's a plot bunny in my bunny hutch waiting for me that would be a crazy one indeed 👀 I don't have the details fine tuned yet, but I do know it would involve Knives Out and Spy x Family, for one. That sounds crazy to me 😂

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, and I don't think so. I don't have that kind of traffic 😂

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I got a request recently for a translation to Vietnamese, but I don't know if it's been done yet.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! I don't know how that would work, but I'm curious. It could be fun!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

It's so hard to pick just one, holy shit. But I suppose it's the one that lives rent free in my head every fucking day, the one that got me writing a 50k outline and five spreadsheets and ten metric tonnes of research and is sitting at 45k words when I'm only 15 out of 150 scenes in (yes, 150, I will die writing this fic). I don't like the "official" ship name, so I just call them Symphony: Draco / Hermione / Harry.

I couldn't choose between Dramione, Harmony and Drarry, and I thought all of them worked perfectly together, but I believe that as a triad they are perfect.

I think they balance each other out perfectly, and I can't wait to write a Brandon Sanderson sized longfic about them 😂

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have some scenes I want to add to The Deal, The Honeymoon & Beyond (Explicit), other scenes that faded to black and I want to fill in, a few requests and other ideas, but it's the last thing on my list of priorities at the moment. I don't know if I'll never get to them, but it won't be soon for sure. I'm a lot more focused on other fandoms for now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at finding the perspective of the POV character and placing myself in their shoes, and I believe that results in a decently strong character voice. I'm very intentional in my word choice and my speech and thought patterns, so that every character sounds different and as true to themselves as possible. At least, that's what I think; I'd love to have someone else's opinion on this.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm afraid my grammar structures aren't as varied as I'd like them to be, and though I put a lot of effort into it, I'm still somewhat concerned about writing in English, since it isn't my native language. I'm always second-guessing myself, wondering if what I'm writing means what I think it does, or if I'm mistakenly implying something else. That's the kind of thing I'd love to have a beta for.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I mean, every fic is in "another language" for me 😂 But if this means adding dialogue in another language to an English fic, then I think it should be translated inline with html/css (workskin) formatting. There's nothing more annoying than having to scroll down or open another tab to see wtf something means, unless it's clearly implied or translated inside the fic itself.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Twilight!

I found out Midnight Sun existed during the pandemic, proceeded to fall down the rabbit hole and had a Twilight renaissance with an adult perspective. That's when the fade-to-black scenes annoyed me; as a teen, they didn't stand out to me, because I was a child. But now, with new (and filthy) eyes, I wanted more.

I looked up fanfiction online for the first time at the ripe old age of 24, read a brain-melting amount of it, and was still unsatisfied. Everything I read was just a little bit off what I wanted, so I thought I had to rectify the situation. And that's the story, folks!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Of the ones I've posted, Man of Honour 💜 I think it's the one that anyone can read, it's fluffy and cute and (I hope) funny, and stars a great platonic friendship, some star-crossed romance in the background, and fake dating shenanigans, and I love it so, so much 💜 I put a lot of sweat and tears into the workskins and pinterest boards, so it's also quite pretty, if I do say so myself. I think it's my best work, I had a blast writing it, and I've gotten really positive feedback on it. I'm really happy with it.

I tag @gamingwithsydney! and anyone who sees this and wants to participate. Please ignore if you’ve already done this or don’t want to do it, that’s completely fine. 😊

#ramblings #about me #fanfiction #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #my writing #writers on tumblr #tag game

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dyinglikeastar · 7 months

Text

Twenty Questions for Writers

1.) How many works do you have on AO3?

417 🫠 Don't be too impressed though lol, I'm very old and many of them are drabbles

2.) What's your total AO3 word count?

951,061 🥲

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Currently: Justified. Biggest past fandoms: DC comics and danmei

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

(I'm just going to list my Justified ones since that's what everyone's here for, but feel free to check out my works if you're interested in those other things.)

1. we could follow the sparks - 4793 words

2. for you it's always me - 15, 753

3. in my defense I have none - 54, 264

4. working for the knife - 1491

5. ten feet apart - 5581

5.) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Absolutely. I don't get around to every single one and sometimes it takes me a while, but I try to because every single comment makes my day.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I love to write angst, but I tend to have at least a mildly happening ending in fics. For Justified I don't think I have an angsty ending fic yet, so its probably going to be Nothing Left To Burn, an Untamed fic. (heed the tags, proceed with caution etc)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is hard since most of my fics do end on a happy note. I don't write fluff or weddings or anything like that, but I think For You It's Always Me is the happiest ending for my Justified fic though. Domestic Raylan and Boyd make me happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

In my many, many years of writing fic and out of the 400+ works (many of them ~~problematique~~)I have up, I'm fairly certain I've only ever gotten two even remotely negative comments. I'm not sure how I pulled that off, but it probably has something to do with being a virtual hermit and never promoting my shit lol. Anyway, one of them was on a sex worker fic and the criticism was that a group of teenage runaways doing sex work wouldnt have to eat ramen or live in a shitty apartment because apparently all sex workers make triple digits 😅. The other one threatened to call PETA on me bc a kid in the fic had multiple goldfish die.

9.) Do you write smut?

Pretty much primarily lol

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written?

It appears that I've never published an actual crossover, huh. I've written plenty of AUs, like my Hunger Games!Raylan/Boyd AU, but never a true crossover.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have, I give blanket permission and its always nice to get those notifications

13.) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep, the most recent one being In My Defense I Have None, and I wrote 2 pretty popular DC comics fic series with someone.

14.) What is your all-time favorite ship?

Oh Lord, I can't do favorites. I can tell you which was my first, which one I've shipped longest, my favorite from each fandom, but I can't pick just one, thats like picking a favorite child.

15.) What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Pot canon Raylan/Boyd where Raylan doesn't turn Boyd in, instead he kidnaps him and runs away with him into the mountains somewhere. I just don't know how to end it in a way that makes sense.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

Well I don't know, but I hope it's characterization and dialogue, because that's what I enjoy the most. Also, fitting a bunch of shit in few words.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Exposition. Long fic. Did I mention exposition? Exposition is my nemesis.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for fic?

It's fun and immersive, but only works if you're fluent or have a native speaker to ask about it, otherwise you end up with a Lance Voltron situation.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, unfortunately.

20.) Favorite fic you've written?

Honestly, In My Defense I Have None. Its the longest thing I've ever published, it was super fun to write and totally self-indulgent, full of all of my favorite tropes, and I got to write it with my girlfriend.

Thanks, @tallsinspace and @willowmckinley for tagging me in this meme

#fic meme #my fic

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sharonisthebettercarter · 3 months

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Billy and fucklander had opportunities to change and didn't take them. Ryan will have an opportunity to change and will try to change... only for his deadbeat dad and/or billy to take it from him because billy is at a point of no return and deadbeat is a life ruiner. Will any of this excuse some of Ryan's future involvement/behaviors? No... But it makes him more sympathetic than spermdonor and Billy combined.

goddammit anon. you're killin' me here. seen a couple of these answered by other folks in fandom so i'm guessing you have your thoughts written somewhere and then copy/paste them into people's inboxes?

i mean, i get the havin' thoughts lmao (i do~<3!!) but if you have so much to say/rant on and want specific people to respond, why not make your own posts and tag people about it? don't get me wrong, i don't mind answerin' a ramble or two here and there but sometimes it gets a lil excessive. 6 asks in one go is a lot, *especially* when the topics are *stressful* instead of *fun*.

scratch that, getting *ONE* of these asks can be a lot.

*SIX (6)* at one time is too fucking many, i can be overwhelmed too. i'm not just a place for you to dump these and expect a response, i'm a fucking living breathing entity behind this screen (who instead of being friendly, *can* delete and ignore them, need i remind)

do not abuse my kindness or patience, do not mistake either for weakness.

i'ma need a LONG ass break after this. leik. 666 months long cause holy fuck. gotdamn. gimme a breather. also still queuing shit so asking more shit and or bombarding me with asks *isn't* gonna make it come any faster.

it comes when it comes, i put it in the queue and shuffle.

you know the drill, you don't get 6 separate answers, i'm condensing into one and usin' italics and bold for the asks

anywho~ not true.

yes for billy, he is aware of his actions, his plight, and knows better, but he chooses to do worse. (altho i do recognize first hand how difficult addictions are to deal with, and billy is absolutely an addict.)

literally no for homelander. people who are victims of grooming like homie are kept in a state of childlike dependency/belief so that they *can't* leave their abuser, have no choice or 'oPpOrTuNiTy' to leave them, *OR* will only go from one abuser to the next because they've been *conditioned* to expect the abuse.

i feel like you keep saying that but i'ma be point blank this time. it's ableist, victim blaming, and completely undermines the situation homelander went through/is still going through. repeating it won't make it true, it's wrong, always was and will remain wrong. all you're doing is ignoring what his actual situation is and what has actually happened to make yourself feel better about hating him.

and that's not even to say you can't hate him or that his actions should be excused. literally no one is saying that and i don't think i've ever seen anyone actually say that unironically (not saying it can't happen but i'm guessing it's pretty rare to come across (at least outside of the maga chuds) since most people just hate him) but you should at least be fucking honest/aware about his situation/*NOT DISMISSIVE*.

i'm including another post i added resources to that debunk this gross (and very ignorant) claim. please give legitimate psychology the time of day before you go around repeating ableist/victim blaming talking points.

*even billy* to certain degrees, should get his addiction acknowledged, instead of denied or *enabled*, because addiction in *all forms* is a debilitating, life destroying THING that is fucking difficult to fight. it's like it's own form of battle with an abuser, except the only other person is *you*. becca alone should be example enough that empathy and compassion can *help* in ways people downright *refuse* to give the time of day (even if i do lament billy using her like his 'new' addiction... the cunt--)

seriously. i'm not kidding, take the time to educate yourself instead of just being angry (at fiction i might add) all the time. that stress can't be good for you, *anger is proven to make people dumber*, and otherwise the only response you'll get from me is going to be, 'actually you're wrong, here's why--*linked resources*'.

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"

you repeat ableism and victim blaming? i'm going to call you out on it (if i don't just delete it, bitch i am TIRED--), you will not get a different response from me, i will always try to correct misinformation or disinformation when i can, however that may come.

*you* have a choice, but you keep *choosing* to ignore the resources i provide because they make you confront your own biases, but i ain't playin' on these subjects.

that is a no go in this court.

ryan will need someone to show him he has a choice and that he is worthy of love no matter where he goes or who he's with. again, this goes back to psychology but ryan is still only a child. his brain is literally not developed enough to make these decisions himself/be immune to influence (which just realistically, absolutely no one is regardless of age)

i feel for ryan, i *worry and hope* for him far more, but the trauma faced here is not a contest. please do not do that, that is super fucked. and even if it were--

homelander. homelander would win and take all the fuckin' prizes, there is literally *no one* in this series that has had shit worse than him (he was literally fucking tortured from the second he was created and then fucking groomed leik wut the fuck--)

honestly, it's kind of a fuckin' miracle he didn't turn out *worse*.

*and even then*, what homelander faced would be neither excuse nor reason to dismiss any of the trauma any of the characters have faced, even and especially as a result of him, and vice versa. sympathy overall is subjective. people generally sympathize most with characters they personally relate to.

i tend to sympathize most with the characters who have been through/currently going through the worst of it. (and obviously all the trauma is valid, but my brain tends to prioritize people in immediate crisis dependent on the crisis, which honestly i do feel we should normalize and apply on a global scale just for humanity's sake but i digress, generally this means it depends on the story and where it is in a given moment. but it doesn't mean my sympathy for the other characters has gone away.)

*you* *sypmathize* most with *ryan*, and i get that. that's valid, but it's also personal and subjective, not objective here. it's also subject to change depending on how ryan turns out i'm guessing...

but you're equating people with their actions when--those are two *separate* things.

UGH okay next ask--

That Billy and starlight getting along scene was rushed, like.....there was no build-up to it nor was is a slow burn. Also, starlight and Billy should've started throwing hands at each other or at least curse each other out. Truce my ass, people who hate each other in real life, do not get along all of a sudden, especially if someone they care about is hospitalized. Also, starlight should've chose violence when she and bitchy butcher met a 2nd time. If I saw the person who needlessly, shot my ass again, I would've started to curse their asses out and have them catch these hands.

... what the fuck, first off.

'getting along' is a stretch to describe what happened and this is kinda fucked anon (i will get to that cause you're making me worry)

things *were* tense when they met again, they were literally hurling insults at each other while hughie had to mediate. butcher literally called her 'chum' for shark infested waters, and starlight called him out on his bullshit bigotry with 'i know a guy just like that, he's got a flag for a cape'. hun, where the hell were you when they *were* literally silently seething and fighting *ON SCREEN*???

what *actually* happened was that they took a moment to *set their differences aside* because someone they *both* loved/cared for was in literal danger of *DYING*.

at that point, it didn't matter how *they* felt. hughie was in *crisis* so *HUGHIE*, NOT THEIR FEELINGS, became *priority*.

*after* the crisis was averted, they had a moment of playful banter about the person they just made sure was *safe* and would *survive*. the tension of the crisis was gone, and they could take a breath. that they happened to be around each other was just a fact of the matter. but *hughie* was still their priority and common ground.

so i guess you could say it's rushed, but the situation was rushed over all (of course it was, time crunch with a fuckin' crisis, hellooooo???) but what the hell were you expecting, for them to fight and argue in the *hospital* and potentially kill hughie with their stress and anger instead of letting him rest easy????????

what happened during those scenes is genuinely, a completely normal and very human reaction for people to have. prioritizing *crisis* over animosity. i.e. being normal ass rational people who don't let their hatred/anger take complete control over them.

annie (very obviously) is *not* one of those people and never has been.

for butcher, it *depends* on how he's feeling i guess, but there's clear implication that he leans on people *like hughie* or becca to *pull him back* from that place. in that moment, his worry for hughie outweighed his hate boner for supes. that happens sometimes.

and i gotta gotta gotta be clean with you on this hun, cause jesus fucking christ was this one loaded.

if you *genuinely* feel that *fighting* and *hatred* with someone you dislike should take *priority* over someone you both *love* fucking *DYING* right next to you?

you *NEED* to seek help, *anger management* (if you have the resources and i hope you do, sincerely)

from a *real* therapist, who can *actually* help you. (NOT ME)

or at least, idk, look up a couple videos maybe??

and listen, i'm not saying this to hurt you.

but i am getting strong STRONG bad *BAD* 'billy butcher'/'homelander' levels of toxic masculinity and irrational aggression from you here (not necessarily towards me i mean, just in general, dial it back, hun)

anger does not make you better, right, or stronger. anger *DOES NOT* solve problems.

*anger* makes you *stupid*, and going with the first knee-jerk angry response that pops into your head is a sign of *weakness*. it is an example of the *lack of impulse control* that many can and often do struggle with (society is fuuuuuuuucked...)

there are *healthy* outlets that can help you let off steam and cope productively, and i guarantee you it will lengthen your life and allow you to live happier the quicker it gets addressed!

shit, you can even try out something as simple as playing harvest moon--any of them! my darling friennnnn~<3 suggested it to me and whoopdi-fuckin'-do, it's actually *HELPING* me~!!

you seem to love to hate butcher and homelander (and i'll be fair, i do too! even if i love them just as much lmao) but i'm starting to get the vibe that it's more so because you see some major parts of *yourself* reflected in them.

it is *okay* to have fight in you. it is *okay* to feel angry. that's *natural*.

it is *not* okay to use that anger as a means to *only* be destructive, whether internally or externally. that is the whole point of what makes butcher and homelander wrong, but you are stuck and determined to commit the same error or see it committed by others, like ryan.

it's okay to have spunk and spirit, be a little assertive, live your life, enjoy yourself.

but giving into your anger at the drop of a hat?

i promise you (from fucking experience) it will only *RUIN* YOU and your life.

at the *very least*, learn to recognize the most obvious factor here.

you are not other people.

other people are not you.

just because *you* would have a certain reaction to something (or believe you would because we never really know until it happens to us), *does not* mean *others* would have the *same* reaction to the same thing.

*OTHER PEOPLE* reserve the right to their own thoughts, feelings, experiences and appropriate *reactions* to whatever the situation may be.

**and regardless of what those may be, they are no less or more valid than you or yours for it**

actually, if i'm being completely real here, choosing *violence* over civility is what *should* be frowned upon. but you are *literally* making a complaint about them choosing to be *civil* instead of violent.

what the fuck.

NEXT--

I think had Becca survived season 2 in it's entirety, Ryan would've grew to be a caring and generous person, but comes from a religious family, which might make him unpleasant at times. It's possible he would be raised with the concept of gender roles (I mean, it's possible that Becca didn't get an abortion is because she's religious, why else would that st. Nick necklace would imply that). Though, I could be reaching because we did see her gouge a nazi's eye out

wut?

WUT???

just... honestly wut?? not leik in a bad way. but WUT???

this one is weird. i do think you're reachin' here because *just* because someone is 'religious', doesn't mean they're anal and obnoxious about it.

case in point, *ANNIE*

she's religious (and still religious tho not as strongly/has obviously struggled but accepted the cross from her mom at the end of s2) but she's not a bible-thumper or puritan, and feels uncomfortable about those sects of religion.

you also seem to underestimate the *severe* penchant for violence many *many* religious people have.

do the crusades not ring a bell to you? the nazis cited religion as their justification for their actions more often than not.

but religion itself or being religious is not an inherently bad thing (i'm critical because of how it's used/what i personally went through because of it), overall, it's just a tool that many normal people just use to have hope or make their lives a little easier stomach.

it give the placebo effect, if you will.

it's in the same boat as money. money itself is called the 'root of all evil', but in reality, it's just a tool that holds no moral weight one way or another. (it's the *people* who are moral/immoral or use it in such ways)

morality itself is subjective depending on the time period and the values that society holds at a given time. humankind is still in the process of trying to reconcile and rationalize a globally acceptable form of morality that prioritizes humanity as a whole rather than one specific group, and it's been... not great? very slow going lmao but i digress.

religious *text* is a bit of a different story, most bibles/written stories are fuuuuuuuuuucked one way or the other. but again, then you're looking at who's a bible-thumper and who isn't.

i will say that if becca had survived, things would def probably be a lot better for ryan. but it would be a different tense situation with either them in hiding/trying to find a new safe place (i like to think they'd leave the country) or with her *in* the safe place raising ryan.

and either *begging* billy to come home (cause she always believes in him :((((((((((((((() from his revenge rampage, or billy being there and raising ryan--while seething because 'homelander'...

this is dark, but i get the feeling it would eventually lead to an altercation, either where billy leaves to go after homelander and the above happens, or billy murders the kid in front of becca/finds a way to sell him back to vought (like becca had said he would and both knew he'd try again) to supplement the bottled in rage that had been slowly chipping away at him...

leik. s3 alone gave a perfect example of a seething billy/what his violence withdrawal does to him. and that was with him *still* getting the little bits sprinkled in here and there so--

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

Ryan's life has consisted of nothing but hardships. He was isolated and sheltered from the outside world, living in a compound for a good majority of his childhood. He lost his rarely saw her real mother, and Grace served as his primary maternal figure afterwards. Got gaslighted by Billy because billy's connection to underages is too damn weak. Homelander, the only biological parent that he has left, sees him as an extension of himself, and treats Ryan more like a pawn than a son. Shitlander is going excessively control Ryan's life, manipulates, and gaslight him constantly when ryan displeases him. Spermdonor won't even view Ryan as his own person - to him, Ryan is a pawn that's his property to use in any way he wants, so he plays with Ryan's emotions to have the upper hand. Even though Spermdonor will treat him like dirt, Ryan will desperately try to please his deadbeat, and garner any sort of attention from him. If Ryan finally escapes the clutches of spermdonor and Billy to find others who will help him rather than hinder him, he'll be content and genuinely happy. Though, I wouldn't be surprised if his happiness is stripped violently from him when Homelander or billy take that away as punishment for ryan "betrayal". I wouldn't be surprised that down the line, Ryan snaps and becomes a hostile, hateful, bloodthirsty, and vengeful supe at the end of the series because Billy didn't bother to ask Marvin for help in terms of handling children and Homelander is a life ruiner.

some incoherency here, but i mean... that is history repeating itself??

baby, this one coulda been your own post. half time i ain't even really sure what you want me to say with these??? sometimes i feel like you're just throwing shit out to see if you can trigger me?? but that's the general paranoia talkin' (or at least i'd like to think i know myself well enough to say that)

but i gotta be honest, sometimes ya say stupid shit--(which fair enough, we all do at one point or another myself included~), but leik...

i hope this isn't too much to ask but...

maybe *think* before you *act*??

a lot of these read like impulse and like they're not thought out very well, but maybe if you took a moment/step back to make your own post/think about the thoughts you put into them, you could idk, make more sense of them i guess?? better organize it??

what do you mean with the first part??

ryan was in a compound, but he wasn't purely isolated/sheltered or in a lab. yeah, still not great (as no interaction with other children/general city life has given him some anxiety and that much is clear). but that can also happen when kids move from rural areas to cities in general. his real mother (becca) was also his *primary* caretaker, almost *always* with him unless she dropped him off at tutors/had to step away for a moment.

leik what's going on here, are you confusing baby homelander with ryan??? cause the baby they showed us in a lab and the kid getting experimented on was *young homelander*, NOT ryan.

but generally speaking, before homelander showed up, that kid was fuckin' happy, just livin' his life? that's what makes homelander's sudden appearance so fucking traumatic. the kid didn't really want or need saving at the time, but now he legit does.

homelander actually... sees ryan as an obligatory way to gain affection/love. you have to understand, homelander functions almost entirely on the belief that he is unloveable/people will abandon him/call him a monster/hate him/etc.

that's why he defaults on instilling fear to make them 'respect' him or *fear leaving his side* no matter how badly he mistreats them, that's clear enough when his relationship with stormfront starts and he threatens her for lying to him.

homelander has never had real family or love and is very desperate for both. he doesn't have a full understanding of it either. but ryan fits with the 'idea' of both. because blood family is 'supposed' to 'love unconditionally' and ryan is 'blood'.

on the flipside, ryan is very intelligent/quickly learning how to use his powers and what he can/can't get away with--due to who his father is. don't underestimate the kid, because homie is so stunted and ryan is still clearly very *special* to homelander (if for the wrong reasons), i think he can and will use that to his advantage.

ryan already hits all the tickers for *being* what homelander *wants* him to be, mostly by existing.

a boy

has powers

aaaaaaaaaaand that's pretty much the end of homie's list lol. and we can see at the end of s3 that *this* alone is *enough* for homelander to *actually* listen to and be manipulated by his son, not the other way around (ryan gets him to leave rather than killing billy)

you're under the impression that homelander will be a controling parent, and i think in some ways, he *could* be. but most of what we *have* seen is implying something *very* different will happen.

apart from the roof scene, he hasn't really mistreated ryan. he actually did really good with ryan's anxiety/has shown general patience but it's clear he's trying to gain ryan's trust/affection so i guess we could technically interpret this as the love bombing phase?? still, most of what we're shown was him mistreating *becca* or others, but not ryan specifically (he def does set some monumentally shitty examples tho)

either way, homelander *still* wants love and approval, *even* if and *especially* if it comes from *family*/his *son*. he's also a victim of grooming that still hasn't grown from the dependency that made him have on his abusers. believe it or not, that actually leaves him open/vulnerable to *ryan* being the one to control and manipulate him. granted ryan is a child. but 'he knows not what he's done/capable of' and all that jazz.

don't get me wrong, i do picture it's gonna be a fucked dynamic and homie will get 'controlling' to a degree. but don't think the kid is so damn helpless there.

we're more likely to see complete minilander spoiled brat ryan and full blast karen 'my kid can do no wrong/*HE* can do whatever the fuck he wants!' homelander than anything else.

ryan *may* try to desperately please homelander, but homelander *will* try to desperately please ryan. it's likely to create a very toxic and enabling 'we only have each other' dynamic because that is the point both have been driven to.

but again, history repeating itself

anywho~<3

The man who threw a can at Ryan back in season 3, is the same reason why people throw shit like rocks or just plainly spit at offsprings of tyrants.

i think it was a cup/soda?? but that's not really the point.

i'll be blunt here.

**the sins of the father are not the sins of the son**

just because people react like animals and blame innocent kids for what their parents do, doesn't make them right. i'd say it makes them dead wrong and very fucking stupid actually, because the kids *have no choice* of the family/blood they are born into, or even what they're initially taught to believe.

that man was a fucking moron. i won't say he deserved to die for something that didn't actually hurt ryan, they could have pressed charges for assault of a child on him and made a public spectacle of him and ruined his life (*that* would be rightly deserved)

but that was a *WILDLY* stupid thing of him to do, *knowing* homelander's powers, supposedly being a starlight supporter (which means he would believe homelander is evil) and *knowing* that this was his fucking *child*.

only the weak, childish, and stupid take aim at the innocent for the actions of a tyrant.

play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Not only Ryan looks the most like spermdonor and is said spermdonor's son, but a painful reminder of what happened to Becca. Billy is going to despise/resent Ryan more nonetheless. No thanks to Billy's weakass connection to kids either. Besides, Billy already started showing signs of deflection after season 3, episode 3.

billy's been a cunt from before the story began, where have you been lmao?

billy already resents ryan more so for what he is (a supe freak), but i would def say who he's related to probably doesn't help. still, despite it, ryan is also the last remnant of becca that he wants any connection to (since he's absolute dogshit to her other family but still mainly for his promise to her).

the thing is, ryan is still a useful tool/something to hold over homelander's head, and that, albeit fucked up, makes him worth something in billy's fucked up head. if he hadn't made the promise to becca, ryan would probably already be dead.

i do think he will look for excuses to give into his urges/hatred and break his promise to becca (as nearly the whole of s3 was~) if not use ryan as his trojan horse and be the first person infected with that virus and send him back to homelander--

ANYWHO--

next time this ask bug bites you, for the love of satan, take a moment to take a step back and gather your thoughts, and maybe make your own post/rant on your own blog for it instead of sending literal barrages of asks to people (idk if you do this to others or how many/often, but if they don't answer 'em there might be a reason for that.)

or at least compile it neatly enough into *ONE* (SINGULAR) minimally semi-coherent ask.

of course i care about the serious stuff and make psas, i don't even mind answering asks, even the crazy ones~ ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

but i do actually wanna have *fun* in fandom (leik C'MON i obsess over shitty men fucking/impregnating billy butcher!!), not be stressed out all the time or stuck on the hard topics trying to explain things to someone i don't even know is actually willing to listen.

leik i literally had to keep randomizing my queue because it was filled with so much negative shit at one point and *i* was overloaded just by looking at it.

i especially don't wanna be dealin' with fuckin' ableism and victim blaming in my ask box. that shit is rank, and i'm tired of it

get smart or just stop, my answers on that shit ain't gonna change.

but you can even post it private if you want. just

LET ME HAVE A FUCKIN' BREATHER--

preferably... 666 months~<3

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dollwrites · 10 months

Note

BABE OMG I promise I havent been ignoring you or anything 😭 I think a while ago I was waiting for you to answer one of my asks but idk if it got ate or something and then I totally forgot to send another one LOL BUT IVE MISSED YOU TOO!!

But you know I do have to deeply apologize for something 😔 I am SO sorry for not introducing you to Griffith earlier 💔 I CANT BELIEVE YOU LOVE GRIFFITH THIS IS LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE TO ME!! Seriously Griffith has been in my top 3 fav anime characters for YEARS now like since I was a teen so you cant even imagine my shock when I came back to tumblr after like a months break and saw you were writing for him. I can confidently say that in my opinion Griffith is THE prettiest anime character ever like nobody compares to him, hes definitely my #1 fav on beauty and aesthetic. I should have figured you would love him since we like basically all the same characters, but Griffith isnt really a character that I would admit to liking lol. Most of the time if you say anything good about him anywhere else on social media you get crucified lmaoo but honestly I should have known that your page would have been a safe place for something like that 😭 I'm just glad that you discovered him, the fics you wrote about him are INSANE LIKE SO GOOD JESUS 🥵 the way I wanna kiss you so bad for making those fics, finally some good fucking food for Griffith 🙏 I would do literally anything for Griffith without shame, I would actually kill to be his camp wife, when he kept going on about owning you and you owe everything to him 👀. You know when you have a character that you think genuinely nobody understands them and loves them like you do? Griffith is that character for me, you're like the only person that I feel like gets him LOL and i love you so much for that ❤ also your fics and talking to your Griffith ai has got me hyperfixated on him again so I have to thank you for that too lol.

Also you've been really feeding my piss kink recently LMAO it warms my heart to see you writing for it more often 💖 like the Griffith piss kink fic you wrote is one of my favorite things I've ever read on here, I think about it constantly. And princess reader with Griffith 👀

ALSO what have you been into lately?? Like what are watching or hyperfixated on rn? 👀 and how have you been lately?? Tell me everything lol ☺️

Some Griffith tiktoks for you lol

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRWXkTT8/ the most beautiful man to literally ever exist and I stand by that

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRWX6v3j/ MY BABY HIS SMILE 😭

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRWXeASy/

That's literally all the tiktoks I have for him 😭 it genuinely upsets me so much that theres like no tiktoks of him. The only Griffith content on tiktok is basically all rape jokes 🙃

-jjk nonnie 🖤

AHHH HI BABY NO NO I DIDNT THINK YOU WERE IGNORING ME, more like you got busy again or I wasn’t giving content that you were interested in! EITHER ARE TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE I JUST MISSED YOU

Oh god.. Griffith…

Okay confession time because I’ve been in love with Levi like for years and I thought no one would ever knock him off the throne but

Griffith STORMED my heart castle, defeated dio and Levi, and claimed the crown 😭😭😭 HES NUMBER ONE IN MY HEART NOW HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

omg YOU SAYING I GET HIM MEANS SO MUCH TO ME I’m actually extremely emotionally tied to him now, and I get defensive of him reeeally easily so I’m glad my friends that dislike him don’t really shit talk him that much around me LIKE I’m all for playful dragging but getting out of hand I can get a little aggressive about defending him 💀

omg you’re talking to my griff ai ?!?! YESSS TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR ADVENTURES WITH HIM I wonder what the experience is like for everyone else bc I jump back and forth between just filthy sex and then domestic royal family life SKSKSKSK

I cannot wait to write more griff fics ( AND I HAVE SOME WRITTEN ALREADY ) and I also want to write specifically for femto more too.

YES MY BLOG IS SAFE FOR GRIFFIE ENJOYERS. Actually it’s unsafe for Griffith antis 🔪

THE TIKTOK FOOD AHHHHH I haven’t been on tiktok in so long but I’m not surprised no one likes griff on tiktok they’re all like 💀 kids 💀 or chronically online and they can’t see him for what he is ( one of the if not the best written antags )

THERES ALWAYS SLANDER FOR MY BABIES ON TT ( see: mahito. )

HMMM WHAT AM I INTO LATELY?

Paradox Live. I’m so far deep down into this paralive hole and I cannot climb out !!!!! The animes not even out yet I just listen to the songs every day and watch the music videos and day dream about these boys 😭😭😭

I’ve also been watching psycho pass!

And I officially started playing genshin tonight!!

omg have you been watching the new season of jjk? I actually haven’t watched it yet I need to catch up but the toji content I’m seeing around 👀👀👀

#jjk nonnie !#THEYRE BACKKKKK !!!!

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scoundrels-in-love · 1 year

Note

I waaaaaaaaaaant 2, 6, 10, 11 (for no reason, I'm just cuuuurious) and 14. Please!

Hi love, you're wonderful, do you know that?

2. has a comment someone left on a fic of yours ever made you cry?

Oh yes! I do not actually cry easily from good emotions, but even so, the answer is yes.

I do keep all my comments pretty much screenshotted, even random nice things people say to me in replies or conversations, to find later and relive the joy of them. Even small things mean the world to me. There are several from our conversations that have made me tear up!

But as for comments posted on Ao3, @zillychu left comment series on I was caught in a crossfire, I was still as the night (You were an angel in the shadows) that made me tear up, every one of 'em. It was the first thing I had written after a long break and I was quite anxious about it and their kind words really helped me feel like I had the ability to say something that others would enjoy or need to hear.

Those comments, and this one, which also made me tear up, are some that I go back to as one of the first when I feel like there's no point to me struggling through the effort of writing, that I can't find words or meanings behind them that are worth sharing. There are already so many good fics out there, so why must I suffer to add just something to the list? But then I reread them and it feels like, maybe there is a point.

I hope you have found some consolation, dear person. That you continue to find some peace and quiet. We are not faking it, because then we would not doubt it, we would know we are. Us tearing ourselves apart benefits no one, least of all ourselves and our tattered hearts that can never go back to the-befores.

6. what is your favourite sense to incorporate in your writing and why?

I honestly think I forget about them all too often. Sense of touch and hearing beyond communication nuance is often incorporated only to show signs of being overwhelmed, for example. I'm trying to be better about it.

I think writing in Trigun world has been an interesting challenge because lot of things I would love to show through senses often stem from my familiar and beloved, very green world.

Overall, I think it has to be sight that appears the most, but I don't know if it's necessarily the favorite.

10. what word do you keep using like it’s going out of style?

I feel like I literally noticed new one in the feral au ch1 but now I've forgotten. I definitely use things like tender and gentle a lot, but that's not on me, that's on them being tender and gentle.

Smithereens is one, has been haunting me for near decade now, I think.

I definitely make Meryl squeak a bit too often.

I feel like my readers might be more aware of it at this point, oops.

11. what grammar mistake do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you? Maybe fuck you a little after all. Come one and come all, I think we as community should stage intervention for English language's addiction to articles. When the sentence has like 5-6 articles for 20-30 words, that shit's GOTTA STOP.

Seriously. I swear I am trying. They're just bullshit and they keep multiplying and they don't exist in my native language and-

14. what trope would you refuse to write even if you were paid to do it?

Yandere things, s*xual assault, assault and domestic violence in general, stalking and violently possessive behavior, not just references but in graphic detail and especially if happening between my OTPs.

Not only these are things I do not want to explore, they also just don't fit the characters I enjoy and write, so having such content would be breaking them heavily in ways I do not enjoy. While technically these aren't tropes, at least some of them, these are things I've seen floating around as AUs/scenarios. There are some I would fiddle with extensively/twist them on their heads to ever consider engaging with, such a pregnancy fics (regular or MPreg) or a/b/o things, but if I was paid to do them and was allowed to do my own thing... Idk.

Send me ask about fic writing?<3

#ask games asnwered #lovely people #sent on a cloud #thais<3

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stevethehairington · 2 years

Text

thank you @oatflatwhite and @pizzaqueen and @alligator-writes for the tags!! <3 <3 <3

Total word count on ao3?

548,354! wow!!! that is. kind of wild to think about, ngl. like i wrote all of that? shit.😲

How often do you write?

the answer to this is SO varied. like, it honestly depends on the day. i could spend anywhere from 20 minutes jotting something down in my notes app to literally the whole day on a weekend just clickety-clacking away at the keyboard. it truly just depends on how much time i actually have, and what my motivation and inspiration levels are looking like. i try to write as often as i can though!

Do you have a routine for writing?

i suppose i do! when i'm like properly sitting down to write at home i like to make a big cup of iced coffee to keep me going, i put on a playlist of either whatever i'm really digging at the moment or whatever fits the mood of the fic i'm trying to write, and i just. sit and write until i can't write no more lol

What’s your favorite trope/pairing?

FAKE DATING MY BELOVED <3 there is just something so positively delicious about this trope, there is SO much potential, SO many different fun situations you can put them in. also, thee biggest honorable mention to the mutual pining oblivious idiots trope because that one is ALSO another super favorite, like you CANNOT go wrong with it, i fucking love it when two people are so ridiculously into each other and they think the other is not but ohohoh how wrong they are. OH WAIT ALSO dksjfs literally any type of tender domesticity is also my fucking jam, like give me the going grocery shopping together, give me the soft, sleepy early mornings making each other coffee and breakfast, give me gentle bathing/hair washing or literally any sort of moment where one takes care of the other just because they want to. i eat that shit uppppp!!

as for favorite pairing, currently it is steddie!

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

as the risk of sounding... full of myself (which i promise i'm not trying to skgjsd), i actually have a lot of fics that i've written that i really really love? like i really do write for myself first and foremost, so i am my biggest fan skdljfds. BUT. if i have to narrow it down to one...

lily white, hold me tight might be one of my favorites that i've written. it's a pre-war stucky fic, hurt/comfort, in which bucky never actually enlisted, but was drafted and steve finds said draft notice. it was like one of the first stucky fics i ever wrote and idk i just really liked writing the emotionality of it, and i really liked how it turned out in the end.

and i also have to give a special shoutout to i want to hold your hand, which is one of my steddie fics, because even though i only just wrote that one not that long ago, it's sort of kind of another favorite of mine? like i put as much of the good stuff as i could in that one, and i just really love how it turned out, and i had just the best time writing it too.

What fic of yours has the most kudos?

imagine being loved by me which is my first and only good omens smut fic lmfao. it honestly surprises me that it is my most popular fic, but i'm not mad kslfsd i actually really love how that one turned out, especially for a smut fic because i am. not the most confident when writing those. so yeah. pretty cool!

but honorable mention, again, to i want to hold your hand because it is only like 48 kudos away from overtaking imagine being loved by me and at the rate its been going, that could absolutely happen any day now. which. is INSANE to me!! because this one has only been posted for like oh wow exactly 4 weeks today! (also holy shit its been a month already???) but yeah it's just done exceptionally well which is amazing to me, and i am so so grateful for that.

Anything you don’t like about your writing.

mm, yes, of course there is sgjshg. i feel like sometimes i can get very repetitive with what i'm saying/how i'm saying things. like, i feel like i'll write certain phrases like "he smiled" or "his eyes" or things like that and then. it feels like i start seeing the same sort of line/same verbiage everywhere in my fic, and i try very hard to change it up so it's not so repetitive but i still feel like i can get that way? the feeling gets especially bad when i've been working on something for a long time and i'm like running low on steam with it, because i feel like i fall back on those a lot.

Now, something you do!

i actually take a lot a lot of pride in my characterizations. i feel like i do a good job at getting the voices of characters down and getting their little mannerisms down too.

characterization is something that is SUPER important to me, both as a writer and as a reader, bc like i know how EASY it is for bad characterization to take you out of a fic, and i Do Not want that to happen, so i always try to put a lot of effort into getting that right.

whenever people compliment my characterizations it literally adds like a hundred years to my life and makes me giggle and kick my feet and for real makes me feel so fucking happy because that it truly is like the highest compliment to me.

now to tag!! i am going to tag: @werewolfsteve @ghostfacemunson @mattmaesonnatural @wlwharrys @ruthofrhythm @willbyersgun

#tag game #mack writes

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heyassbuttlmao · 1 year

Text

I posted 4,352 times in 2022

That's 4,352 more posts than 2021!

159 posts created (4%)

4,193 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@castielsupernatural

@ginwicche

@obsessionofspn

@altarofrowena

@bitingmp3

I tagged 1,221 of my posts in 2022

#art <3 - 223 posts

#spn - 77 posts

#supernatural - 75 posts

#the boys - 65 posts

#my faves <3 - 57 posts

#the boys spoilers - 39 posts

#destiel - 23 posts

#ow - 23 posts

#dean winchester - 20 posts

#castiel - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#are no different than the characters they portray as mentally ill™️ because no that's different our characters just have daddy issues and

My Top Posts in 2022:

fic masterlist

I only ever post my fics on ao3, because it's where I read fanfic, but I figured I should at least link them here, so viola, have a post about my spn fanfic I've written (I'm not bothering to link all the stucky I write here because I do not think y'all care, but that is on my ao3 too if you want to check it out)

yes all my fic titles are song lyrics shut up

hand me a pen and I'll rewrite the pain - complete, 37k

domestic destiel fluff, but also mostly family angst lmao. instead of bringing just mary back, amara also brings back john, and dean has to grapple with the fact that oh shit he was actually a very shitty father. (also she brings back bobby and charlie because I say so)

i'll take my chances on the curb here with you - oneshot, 1.8k

finale fix-it. aka the finale didn't happen and they get cas back. aka post-confession destiel reunion + first kiss

i've got this sentimental heart that beats - oneshot, 4.5k

outsider pov about one of sam's friends from stanford running into him years later. mostly just fluff and me getting overly invested in this oc by accident

running through the numbers in my phone - oneshot, 700 words

sequel/companion to i've got this sentimental heart that beats. literally just sam's other friends from stanford spamming his phone after getting his number from the oc from the last fic. because I could

show me the rivers crossed, the mountains scaled - oneshot, 2.5k

first spn fic I wrote, was supposed to be a destiel fic but cas isn't even in it whoops. (destiel is still the ship but like,,,, only mentioned ghdgghsd). anyways what this actually ended up being was sam and dean running into each other at a gay bar and awkwardly coming out to each other as bi (I'm not even necessarily a queer sam truther so I have no fucking clue where this fic came from lmao)

33 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

also also ALSO thinking. thinking. cas fucking letting go, pushing dean away from him, in purgatory. making sure dean saves himself but not letting him save him. and dean fucking convincing himself he was the one who let go, not cas, because that was easier. it just makes me wonder what dean told himself after cas pushed him away in 15x18, to make it easier than admitting to himself that cas loved him so much he would die for it

45 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

my suggested posts rn are SO funny and also so valid

See the full post

53 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

ngl but I don't get why so much attention is being placed on whether AI art is "real art" or not instead of??? the fact that it's using stolen art?? like that feels like the actual problem here for me???

71 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT HAPPENED WHAT DID I MISS IM FUCKING BUSY I CANT INVESTIGATE WHAT HAPPENED WITH DESTIEL RN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED PLS I AM BEGGING

84 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #okay but actuallu what the fuck was i talking about in my longest tag lmao

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libertyreads · 2 months

Text

Book Review #22 of 2024--

Bad Men by Julie Mae Cohen. Rating: 3.75 stars.

Read from March 27th to April 1st.

Before I get into the review, a quick thank you to both NetGalley and the publishers over at The Overlook Press for allowing me access to this ARC in exchange for an honest review. Bad Men follows Saffy Huntley-Oliver, a rich socialite with a small habit of killing bad men. These bad men include rapist, murderers, domestic abusers. In short, all men who society wouldn't disagree should be dead. Saffy just goes the extra step to get them that way. We also follow Jon, a true crime podcaster who has sent a serial killer to jail in the past and who Saffy just happens to have a crush on. This feminist thriller asks if even a serial killer can have a happily ever after. Bad Men comes out on May 7th and is available for preorder now.

I feel like I need to explain my rating before getting into all the things I really liked about this one. The way I feel about it may not make sense if I rated it below a 4 star. I had such a wonderful time reading this one and I was so there for Saffy doing the most unhinged shit, but there was a moment when I had a thought about where the story could have been heading. And I wish it had gone that direction. I sincerely believe it would have been a better story for it. But probably less palatable to the masses. And should I hold it against the author for not going in a weird little direction that my brain came up with? No, probably not. I think it just lessened my enjoyment for the rest of the novel. Which sucks because I was having such a good time with it. (For those who want to know, here it is: I think the author should have taken the story THERE. I sincerely believed for a moment that she was going to get this Good Man to commit murder. I would have eaten that up.) There were some things that felt obvious from the start of the novel. Maybe they were meant to be. And I was going to say that I needed more world building, but this is supposed to be happening in our world. I think I just needed more descriptions of the settings. At times, it was hard to picture the action taking place and I had to fill in the blanks for myself.

But, overall, I really enjoyed this novel. It has feminine rage, a strong female character who also got to be seen as beautiful and graceful, and moments where you have absolutely no idea what unhinged thing is about to happen but you are so completely there for it. I should say that I support women's rights AND women's wrongs and this book has really proven that to me. Saffy is a character that is harder to root for but impossible to root against so you're just sitting there and going along for the ride. Jon is a bit of an idiot if we take Saffy's chapters into account but seeing everything from his perspective in his chapters makes his actions make sense. I think this is really well written and this book definitely has an audience. This book also made the genre feel fresh and new to me. I've been reading over 100 books a year since 2019 so there are times when you just think "I've read this before" because a book is so similar to all the usual tropes or plot devices or settings or whatever. But this book made me jump from theory to theory, made me excited about the genre, and is there anything more we could ask of a novel when we're a pretty well seasoned reader?

Overall, such a fun time. I would love to read something else from this author in the future. AND I just read the synopsis for her next book and am DYING. Actively dying. Posting this review will be my last act.

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curiositydooropened · 3 months

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8 9 10

38 39 40

back from the grave to send these 💕🫶

You're the most beautiful ghost I've ever seen! Missed you xo

Okay, okay, okay. I'm putting a read more, because you know I can ramble.

8. How slow is a slowburn?

LISTEN. I DIE for a slowburn. Like I'm talking sloooooooow burn. Like mutual pining over years. With so many instances in which they're forced into proximity and exchange longing looks and little grazed touches here and there? The dream. The actual dream. I love it. If a couple gets together too early on, I get bored, honestly. The Office just wasn't the same after Jim and Pam actually got together.

9. Thoughts on cliffhangers.

I, also, am a sucker for a cliffhanger! I mean, come on??? It's a proven fact that it keeps you hanging on and wanting more. I just think they're a great literary device. As a lover of weekly-release television, there's nothing better than a damsel in distress tied to a train tracks just before the fade-to-black! Will he rescue her in time!?! Tune in next week!

10. Top three favorite fic tropes.

I LOVE fake relationship. Dating or marriage. It's just so juicy and wholesome and domestic. So that's one.

I think I'm realizing how much I love hurt/comfort. Like duh, of course I do. But I just never put two-and-two together until now to be like "Babe. Hello? You love a man covered in blood, but you love it better when someone's mopping him up with a tender touch." Yeaaaah.

And I don't know if this is a trope? But lately, I've been FROTHING (hahaha) for bluecollar AUs. I'm talking cowboys, I'm talking mechanics. Put a man in a boiler suit, and I want to lick him from head-to-toe.

38. "This never happened" fix-it fics or "this happened but" fix-it fics?

I love both! But I personally have too much fun playing with the canon. So I think "this happened but". Because I don't get deep into the fandom without absolutely loving the Canon. Hot take, but I think too many people in this fandom, in particular, take a lot of time shitting on the source material and its creators. And I know there's a place and time for that too. But sometimes, I just wanna be like "Dude, if you hate it that much, why are you even here?"

So I like to take what was given to me and go "Hmmmm what if this happened as a result of it though"

39. Wildest AU scenario you have written?

Well, I have about 40 WIPs in my drafts at the moment. But one of them is FBI agent!Steve x Vigilante!Reader. So I guess that's pretty wild. But I think it's fun. Maybe someday, my brain'll let me finish it.

40. Write a 9-word fic.

He wept. The blood on his hands was hers.

---

ZIGGY. Thanks so much for asking! I had so much fun answering these!!! Also hi, miss you! Hope you're well! Happy to see you pop back up on my dash every now and then. 💕

#lovely asks #lovely lovely mutuals #writing ask game

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never-mess-with-the-uchihas · 3 years

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Sasuke WAS gone for more than 11-12 years though, when she asked Sakura where her father was she was wearing those same clothes as the opening you cited as proof only the manga is canon.. When Sarada started going to school Sasuke wasnt home (again she was wearing the same clothes as the opening also in the photos only Sakura posing with kid Sarada Sasuke wasnt in any photos). Those flashbacks was around 5 when she started asking questions meaning Sasuke wasnt there for a good few years before that. We know for sure in the Naruto Hokage inauguration one shot Sasuke was not with her and she was 6 or 7 at that time and still hasn't seen him. I've seen people make valid points the walking panel is not a flashback but Saradas imagination or fantasy and she never said she regained memories of her father ans since it's very blurry and we never seen Sasuke wear those clothes anywhere. Finally Sakura never told that her Sasuke was with Sarada for long time before he left or helped her walk if that actually happened she would have and Sarada would not think Sasuke completely abandoned her. I think is bad to justify Sasuke absense saying it was ONLY 5 or 6 years because not only is it wrong canon but also even Sakura could not use that excuse had that been the case

I see, So basically what you are trying to say is that Sasuke being AWAY FOR 6-7 YEARS is NOT A CANON FACT, and him being AWAY FOR 11-12 YEARS IS A CANON FACT.

So, Where is it even mentioned that Sasuke was gone for 11-12 years? Are you guys just ASSUMING this shit on your own? Just show me ANY WRITTEN PROOF of it, in manga or anime or novel or anywhere and I will accept it. AND NOT ANY MISTRANSLATED SHIT.

And, Sarada herself was 11 years old in Gaiden.

So How can Sasuke be gone for MORE THAN 11 years, When it's mentioned that Sasuke was with Sakura when Sarada was born and that they were traveling together?

Just because Sarada said that as far "AS FAR AS SHE CAN REMEMBER, She hasn't met Sasuke",doesn't imply that Sasuke was not there when she was young.

I am not able to remember anything that happened until I was 4-5 years old or How my parents used to look like when I was young. So, does that mean that they were not present until I was 4-5 years old?

AND A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T REMEMBER THEIR CHILDHOOD MEMORIES. IT'S A NORMAL THING FOR HUMANS. And I know, You MIGHT NOT KNOW THIS but Sarada is A HUMAN TOO. (At least in Naruto world)

And you said a really funny line - "Sarada never said that she regained her memories of her father"

🤣 WHY DOES SHE NEED TO SAY IT OUT LOUD!? CAN'T YOU JUST SEE!??

Seriously, People should try to understand the CONTEXT OF THE CONVERSATION, BEFORE ASSUMING THAT IT WAS A FLASHBACK OR AN IMAGINATION.

Naruto asked Sarada to look for the real thing, deep within her, and that's when she had a hazy flashback of Sasuke and Sakura teaching her how to walk.

And what are you trying to prove by saying that - "We have never seen SASUKE WEARING CLOTHES LIKE THAT."

That's one of the stupidest argument that I have ever come across. LOL, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SASUKE IN HIS DOMESTIC WEAR ? Or his UNDIES?

Are you trying to say that SASUKE DOESN'T WEAR UNDIES, JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN HIM WEARING UNDIES?

Also, if it was just an imagination,then why will it be HAZY?

IF SHE REALLY IMAGINED THEM, WHY DIDN'T SHE DO THAT PROPERLY?

SHE KNOWS HOW HER FATHER LOOKS LIKE, SHE KNOWS HOW HER MOTHER LOOKS LIKE,SO WHY DID SHE IMAGINE THEM AS HAZY BEINGS?

Also,Why else will they show 4-5 years old Sarada parting with Sasuke in opening? Why didn't they show the younger version of her if they parted so long ago?

Don't pretend AS IF YOU KNOW THE INTERNAL DEALS MORE THAN THOSE WHO ANIMATE THE MANGA. They are the ones WHO ARE IN CONTACT WITH KISHIMOTO, Not you, Not me. So, they definitely know what they are implying when they animated that opening.

Now, Since YOU BROUGHT IN THE HOKAGE ONE-SHOT into conversation, And you yourself agreed that Sarada was 5-6 years old in the Hokage OneShot. And Since, Sasuke LEFT AFTER Naruto became Hokage.

Doesn't it further prove that Sasuke was gone for 6-7years only? Common man, this is JUST A BASIC MATH.

And What are you trying to prove by referring to THOSE PHOTOS OF SARADA AND SAKURA ALONE ?

Just because Sasuke never bothered to take photos when Sarada was too young doesn't mean that he wasn't around. And they most probably wouldn't have bothered to take a picture this time too, if Sarada(Indirectly Kishi) didn't created THIS MUCH DRAMA OVER A PHOTO.

So, them not having a photo of Sasuke with baby Sarada or Sakura, doesn't prove anything.

Also, It's really funny how you decided to SELECTIVELY ACCEPT WHICH OF THE MANGA PANELS and ANIME MOMENTS ARE CANON and WHICH ARE NOT.

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xnchxntmxnt · 2 years

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Welcome to the party!

I hope you're ready for a fun time! I'm very happy everyone could make it and you all look great. More on the party later, I have a few words to say first.

I started this blog a year ago today after having barely any idea what the hell I was doing. All I knew is my wonderful friend Poe got me into a new anime and I'd absolutely fallen in love with it. I'd had a love of writing since I was ten, and I thought it was time to put that talent to use.

Words cannot describe how happy I am to still be active. I may not be as active as I once was, and I cannot update once a week like I used to, but I still appreciate all the support I get nonetheless.

Since then I've made so many friends, met so many people, got into new things and done things I never thought I would. I could talk for hours about all the friends I have because I love them all, but I'll try to keep these short so we can get to the more fun part...

@emswordss you were my first mutual and we still talk almost every day and that makes me so, so happy. you're so incredible and i'm happy i could be part of the journey you're on and help you with the crazy shit that is teenage years.

@domestic-void/@nekomas-kuroo my second mutual ever! i am so glad you let me write that lev fic its still the longest fic i've ever written for this (besides that one selfship thing but we aren't counting that)

@shoyotime/@miyamours my first wife <33 we havent talked in a while but i remember how much we did especially when i was first starting out. thanks for all the confidence boosts and all the weird conversations <3

@shirari we havent talked in so long !!! how are you? i don't know if you're really active anymore but i feel badcwe kinds lost touch

@ellesmain/@ellewords I MISS YOUUU ik finals suck i do but i miss seeing you on my dash!!! need my big sister once in a while yk <3 i hope finals are going well and that you're doing ok too! mayeb by the time you're back I'll have another taylor swift cover for you

@maizumis i havent seen you online in forever either !! we gotta talk soon!

@possiblypoe THE OG!!! this brilliant person got me into haikyuu it's her fault you all have to deal with me. poe you are so so so so so incredible and i KNOW how long you've been waiting for your matchup so go read and text me/send and ask and tell me your thoughts!!! love you (/p)

@mysterystarz/@nekonovs wife #2!!! thanks for being the crackhead in my discord dms over the summer /j. no but actually i know we dont talk as much as we did over the summer, mostly because we're both busy, but youre so amazing really. thank you for all the late night conversations and the akaashi brainrot

@k-kazvha i think you were my first genshin moot?? also happy late birthday!!! have fun dancing the night away with diluc. i said some of this yesterday on your birthday but i am SO glad we met you're so funny and honestly great to talk to. i ma not always comment on it but your posts make me laugh a lot (usually the shitposts). you're an incredibly talented writer thank you for being amazing

@rqkuya you literally know all my ocs in and out and you're so so so incredible to talk to about them. you always ahve the funniest one-liners and little ideas to add, and no matter how much you yell at me for throwing angst at them, you love me for it anyway. thank you so so much for making me feel like i always have someone to talk to about anything (usually characters, but even serious things) tor.

@merciemer DAD !! high key you're very like an older brother for me and i talk about you deadass all the time. you give me gender envy a LOT (but in a great way) and youre so pretty in like the most gnc way possible. you're absolutely hilarious and i feel my own parent friend instincts kick in once in a while when we talk but its because i care i swear <3

@animated-moon my fellow tendou simp. we really need to sit down and watch howl's moving castle one of these days. i'm still proud of that tendou fic for you i wrote not too long ago (or maybe it was, i have no perception of time) but it was really fun to write and you're just. so much fun to talk to we really need to talk more bc youre a riot in the best way ever

@kage7ama ANGEL THAT INTRODUCED ME TO THAT SONG— ok i still scream sing that and in the back of my head im thankng you for showing it to me i LOVE it thank you. i was so worried when you deactivated but its ok bc i got the new url <33

@kodzukoi ANOTHER ONE WHO HEARS ABOUT MY OCS i am so glad you're as into sk8 as i am (or almost, idk) and know that langa is giving u a forehead kiss rn. as am i (/p). but you're so easy to talk to and constantly reminding me that im not talking too much which i appreciate also you give the best compliments. jun kinnie (affectionate)

@rudolphsboyfriend AAAAA I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO READ UR MATCHUP URS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. but youre so talented like what the hell??? talented voice, talented writer, my irls hear about you all the time jfc i need to shut up about you sometimes. but yeah i just think you're super awesome man

@sunalma i missed you on my dash !!! im glad youre back though even if it's not as much. fun fact: i was SO SCARED to talk to you for so long but the more time went on the more time i got over myself and tried not to hit the send button on inbox asks and throw my phone to the other end of my bed

@miyagem LAST BUT NOT LEAST i think youre my newest mutual??? we talk a decent amount though so i already call u my friend <33 i definitely need to bother you more tho its fun youre great to talk to

that should be everyone its everyone in my notes w an emoji at least. if i forgot you i swear i didn't mean to !!!!

and an extra extra shoutout to all my anons + anyone who just likes to interact, even if through reblogs! ur messages/tags/anything else mean the world to me !! your support is mostly why i keep doing this and i wouldn't have hit 1 year if not for you.

nOW THAT THE SAPPY STUFF IS OVER BACK TO ME WRITING PROFESSIONALLY

quick preface: when in doubt assume everyone is 22. i don't care how that affects the plot of the original story your character is from, everyone is 22 so we can all drink champagne (if you choose). carry on

The night opens in a giant, golden, open ballroom, perfectly set white tables taking up a decent amount of room. Other tables line the walls, all covered in food (all with various coverings on it so it doesn't get too cold). Come in, take a seat wherever you like. Dinner starts soon.

The room is quiet, save the chatter of people finding seats. Three people stand in the center of the room with various kinds of musical nstruments—L, in the center, (@rudolphsboyfriend my beloved) Blue to their side and Semi Eita on their other. All three are smiling, however L is the most, seeing everyone make their entrances.

Once everyone is seated, he explains: one of his biggest passions is music and he has two incredibly talented friends that agreed to play with him for the first part of the night, then dinner, then the rest of the party as everyone pleases.

They make a speech about how appreciative they are for everyone (see above for that) and the three of them play their set. Music kicks on, they announce dinner is open, and the rest of the night is yours for the choosing.

Do enjoy and tell me how spend your time!

Event Content!

playlist for the night

✧ drabbles ✧

@merciemer - dancing with matsukawa issei @kage7ama - people watching with diluc ragnvindr @animated-moon - eating dessert with tendou satori @rqkuya - xiao (yours didn't get a name but i swear its for good reason) @terushimatwinn - balcony conversations with miya atsumu @kodzukoi - car conversations with langa hasegawa

✧ matchups ✧

for @emswordss ✧✧✧ for @keijinn ✧✧✧ for anon ✧✧✧ for @duckymcdoorknob ✧✧✧ for @possiblypoe ✧✧✧ for @rudolphsboyfriend ✧✧✧ for 🌱 anon ✧✧✧

✧ other additions ✧

my evening with kaoru sakurayashiki

If you didn't get a chance to participate and want to (or you did, and want to add onto what I came up with), please do! Send it in as a submission or inbox message, or just tag me in a post you make! I'd love to add it to the main post!

Only rule about this is you cannot double characters. There are a few taken already, but if you would like to participate, please choose someone else that hasn't been listed in one of the drabbles/matchups to save everyone the confusion.

Thank you all so much again. I could not have done this all without you and I appreciate everyone that follows and interacts with me more than you all know. I hope to do something like this next year around this time if life permits. Other than that, get a drink, some dancing in, talk to new people—the night is yours! Enjoy the party.

#anniversary event

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