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Wilbur Lovejoy Soot with all due respect what the heck is this
#crash and burn babey#lovejoy#call me what you like#wilbur soot#number 1 lovejoy fan this one's for you#<me every time i post lovejoy content
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Chapter 03 | Kiss the Skin From My Lips
'Falling From Grace' Series
[Vendetta!Leon Kennedy x Reader]
Song Title: Call Me What You Like by Lovejoy
Content Warnings: NSFW (18+ ONLY), Unprotected p in v, Porn with feelings, Creampie, Some dirty taking but nothing too intense, The lovers in enemies to lovers
Word Count: 14.1k
Author's Notes: Chapter three of the Falling From Grace series! Sooooo....this is really my first time attempting a smut scene so criticism would be really appreciated if you have any! Otherwise, I hope you guys like this chapter :)
Posts are scheduled for 8 a.m. EST every day until the series is complete!
Series Masterlist
Ao3
Summary: As tensions ride high between you and Leon, you execute your first infiltration mission of the J.I.E. lab. What you find inside is more than just a few simple monsters, but rather a life or death situation and an experience that leaves you and Leon absolutely breathless.
✧ ˚ · .
And you can kiss the skin from my lips if it makes you feel good... I'm not sure if you want it; I'm not sure if you need me too.
✧ ˚ · .
When you wake up, there's a deep ache in your bones and you think sourly of how you're getting on in your years.
At this point, don't people start planning their retirement homes or something? You've led anything but a normal life so really, you wouldn't know, but from what you've heard, it's gotta be something along those lines. When did your twenties end and your thirties begin?
Jesus Christ, you've let yourself go.
You start your morning routine, ignoring Leon who's still happily snoring away, and taking a trip down to the first floor to the gym room. There's some flimsy equipment down there and it's definitely not the high quality stuff you get at actual gyms or at the J.I.E.'s professional training programs, but you'll have to make do for now.
You start with simple stretches to warm up as you ponder everything that has happened last night.
You think about the way Ada had looked and by proxy, Leon. He's never mentioned her to you ever so you suspect there must be a reason for that. Maybe he wanted to protect her from you in case you decided to go on a rampage or something, but that didn’t make sense either. Was Leon into the type of woman that could fend for herself or did he just care if she was a looker or not?
If that’s the case, you were definitely crossed off the list. The scar tissue bears a heavy burden.
You lose yourself in the familiar burn of exercise and it feels oddly good to hurt in the ways that tell you your efforts weren’t going to waste. Eventually, this moment of peace will come to an end just like all good things, but right now, you stay in the intensity of your workout. You don’t even notice the door opening.
It’s a guy you haven’t seen before, clean shaven and muscular. You can tell he keeps himself fit but whether it’s for work or just for show, you don’t know. He doesn’t look bad at all with dark doe eyes and light brown hair that sweeps across his forehead enticingly.
“I didn’t know pretty girls vacationed here,” he says and you rip your eyes away from the floor to meet his. What little respect you had deluded yourself into making for him bleeds away and in a split decision, you decide to play with him just a little.
“And I didn’t know good-looking men frequented these parts,” you fire back, batting eyelashes and giving him the most innocent look you can muster. “No need to flatter. I’m sure you could pull someone better than lil’ old me.”
“Don’t put yourself down so fast, babe,” he snorts, heading for the weights and you mentally roll your eyes as you see his intent to try and impress you with reps.
However, you keep up the disguise and take a seat on a nearby medicine ball while watching him carefully. “I’m not putting myself down–it’s the truth.”
He doesn’t answer but he does make sure to put extra emphasis on choosing a fairly heavy hand weight and beginning to rep without any warm up. Silently, you know he’ll pull a muscle eventually and all for a woman he’ll likely never see in his life again. Womanizers like him never made much sense to you, but you suppose human instincts can make people irrational at the best of times.
“So you got a boyfriend?” he asks and you hum.
Would you? Should you?
“Nobody you need to worry yourself over,” you decide on answering, which wasn’t much far from the truth itself in all honesty. “Why do you want to know?”
“I want to know if there’s anybody keeping me from taking you out.”
“You’re at a hotel,” you scoff. “Do you have anybody waiting for you back in your room?”
“Nobody you need to worry yourself over,” he grins.
So he did come here with someone. How disgusting. You’re not the most morally correct person in the world, but even you understand the basic agreement of being in a relationship, and furthermore, you kow the importance put on the concept of loyalty. Well…you know how it’s supposed to be.
“Right,” you sigh, “and what are you proposing we do?”
His eyes flash suggestively and if you had the energy, you’d projectile vomit. “I’d take you out for a real nice dinner then bring you back to mine so we could-”
He shuts up when the door flies open and Leon strides in so confidently you forget that he’s supposed to be back at the suite stuck in dreamland. However, the stormy glance he gives you is nothing compared to the downright murderous glare he directs at the guy you hadn’t bothered to get the name of.
"Woah, man," the guy says, blissfully unaware. "You must be riled up for a serious workout."
"No," Leon answers, voice clipped and tight in a way you've never heard him before. "I was just looking for my wife who happened to get a headstart in her day without me."
The guy's face pales when he motions to you and you shrug non committedly before getting up and opening the door that leads out. Leon is hot on your heels as you make your way out and it's not long before he's gripping your wrist and pulling you back to stop your stride.
"Mind telling me what the fuck that was?" He demands, keeping his voice just quiet enough to not disturb the other residents.
"I was having fun," you hum, "since you're providing no entertainment for me."
"You can't just go wandering off where I can't see you."
"I'm not a child."
“Of course you’re not, but you’re practically a walking target for any undercover agent,” he sighs as you wrench your hand from his grasp and scowl. “You scared me is all.”
The sentiment might’ve been sweeter if your brain didn’t remind you of his latenight amorous meeting with Ada and it sours your whole mood even further. Long gone is that steadily growin soft spot and it only gets replaced by stone cold bitterness. Had the world always been this dark?
You spin on your heel and ignore the confused sound Leon makes as he follows closely like he’s afraid he’ll lose you again.
“You’re losing your edge, Kennedy,” you sniff dismissively.
“What?”
“Isn't this all some complex business partnership to you?” The walk to the room seems to drag on longer than you like and the nagging feeling of his eyes on you makes you want to scream, cry, and break all at once.
“Where the hell did you get that idea from?” he asks as if this whole thing would be any different than past encounters.
You ignore him, approaching the suite and unlocking the door with your keycard and pushing through roughly, not waiting for any protest from Leon. Your brain flies with so many unanswered questions and they’re so loud that you want to fall to your knees and beg them to stop.
Unable to take it anymore, you whirl around and he almost runs into you from the abrupt halt.
“Why do you keep looking at me like that?!” You demand, bordering on a plea but he doesn’t need to know how deep the desperation went.
His dark eyebrows knit in confusion. “Like what?”
“Like–” you struggle to form a coherent line of thought, “–with those eyes.”
You know you don’t make much sense but you can see it register in his expression, dusty blue darkening into electric and the atmosphere rapidly shifts from one emotion to another. He’s so close now, less than an arm's reach away, and he looks at you from beneath his lashes in a way that’s enough to drive you to insanity.
Why was he doing this? How was he doing this? How was Leon of all people drawing you in deep enough to get under your skin? How could he command the tension between you like it was a simple race down a one-way street and simultaneously provide no context behind his motives?
Why did Ada come by last night and how did she know who he was? How did she know you?
These questions sprout one after another like those depressing time loop videos of flowering plants. He answers none of them and it’s only all the more infuriating.
“Leon,” you swallow harshly and stand your ground. “What do you want from me?”
The question is left hanging in the air, an unoccupied noose. It’s intimidating, dread on your shoulders like a heavy burden as you wait for an answer that never comes. Leon just looks at you like he was waiting for you to come to some revelation and answer the question for yourself but no such reason comes forth.
Ridiculous.
He does nothing, and his nonchalant exterior only makes you more infuriated and frustrated with the sensation of talking to the equivalent of a brick wall. Instead, Leon’s eyes flick around your face as if he was soaking every detail, absorbing as much as he could. You watch him warily like a hawk, wondering just how much longer the two of you could dance around this issue of unspoken feeling and silent motive.
Then, his eyes travel down to your mouth in a way you would’ve missed if you blinked. Your lips part as his tongue darts out to wet his own, the muscle gliding along his skin and leaving a light sheen of saliva behind.
The movement is miniscule but addicting all the same, and you’re almost knocked breathless with the urge to pull him close just to get his hands on your body. You want to kiss him so badly until his lips swell with the imprint of yours and his passion matches to suit your own. You want the taste of that spearmint gum he always carries around and the aura of alcohol that always stays with him no matter where he goes.
Craving flares in your stomach as tears well in your eyes, confused and angry as to why this was happening now.
Did Leon know how much he was torturing you? Was he just pupeteering you around just to leave you cold and alone like your family, friends, and past lovers did? You wouldn’t be able to handle that–you can feel it. That would be your breaking point, your hamartia.
Your death.
It takes all of your strength to pull away from him and his hypnotic spell though you’re not sure if he even had an inkling of the self-torment you’re undergoing with this new revelation.
He doesn’t stop you as you escape onto the balcony, slamming the sliding door closed, and gulping in the oxygen like you held your head underwater too long.
An ugly sob rips from your throat and self-loathing burns bright and hot in your gut. The heat is almost too much to handle as you hate yourself for allowing yourself to cry like this over something so miniscule and especially because of something Leon had done. He doesn’t even have the audacity to be sorry.
Still, emotions are nothing new even if your understanding of love is so warped beyond repair. You’re stronger than this. You’re better. You have to be.
Your knees give out and you have no choice but to fall onto one of the patio chairs and let the numbness spread through your body. The tears begin drying tracks on your cheeks as new ones follow the path of the old, but you don’t have the heart or energy to wipe them away.
What were your feelings about Leon truly? It’s obvious you don’t hate him as much as you had before and the thought of him dying now scares you more than ever. There’s still some old hate there, just behind your ribcage just waiting to explode outward again, but dulled by an entirely new portion of your brain.
The portion of your brain that wants to kiss him. The one that wants Leon to take you out on dates and make jokes as your husband and admire him under the golden lighting of the sun. The one that charges into your old self with a fierce snarl and starts a battle for your wishes and dreams.
Your head hits the back of the chair and you screw your eyes shut, trying to make sense of the whole entire thing.
Nothing but the image of that desolate and dead landscape from your dream comes to mind. You can still hear the rolling thunder and cracking lightning as if it had happened right in front of your eyes. You can still feel the sticky blood on your hands and the metallic scent permeating the air as lifeless eyes had stared up at you.
Devoid of passion. Devoid of anything.
Is that what you wanted–what you wished for? Is that your happy ending?
Somehow–for some inexplicable and unknown reason–you don't think so.
✧ ˚ · .
Guns weigh heavy in your palms, but in a cruel twist of fate, it also means home.
The power to kill someone lying in a variety of sizes are the only way to survive in your profession. That much is obvious. You've been through the same song and dance a million times over and then some–so this? This is nothing new.
Tensions have been high in the suite as you do your level best to avoid Leon while confined to such a small space with him. Over the past couple of days, your interactions have lasted with only a few clipped words and making plans to infiltrate the lab you'd found in the clothing department dressing room. Today was the day you'd decided to put your plans into action despite how poorly they've been communicated.
You know for tag team missions like this, communication is vital. However, you can't bring yourself to care. Being dealt potential death seems much better than having to face Leon and grapple with the warring thoughts tugging between wanting to end him and wanting more with him. He doesn't make it any easier.
He's not bitter. The exterior he puts up paints him as a grumpy middle-aged man whose experiences have only made him all the more angry at the world. You know him better than that, though. That's just how he is naturally, and if he was anything but that, you would know best how to spot the signs. However, this new attitude of his is something you’ve never encountered before so it’s hard to pinpoint just exactly what state of mind he was in.
Over the course of just a couple days, you find yourself struggling to hold on to that composure you worked so hard to craft. Leon leaves you alone and allows you to have your space, but even then, it takes all of your willpower just to not stare openly.
You indulge yourself late at night when his breathing deepens and your thoughts are just between you and whatever potential god there was. There were nights where your thoughts run rampant and take whatever chance you allow to admire him. You wish that there was something more between you emotionally and nothing physically. You want that sensation of his body on yours and what that might entail, and you want him deeper than you ever have before.
Shamefully, you wonder if he would burn just as deliciously as you imagined or if it would be more just because it's Leon. Would that controlled blaze turn into a wild forest fire under his advances? Would he steal your breath away roughly or would he take his unrelenting time to savor you all? Would he aim to watch tears roll down your cheeks or would he kiss them all away with whispers of sweet nothings?
Your enemy, putting you at the mercy of his hands and body, was a thought you kept sealed away tightly. Nobody could ever know about it.
When the morning came, you had checked your back and was delighted upon knowing that the wound had healed thanks to the full effect of Leon's questionable herbs. You'd put on your tactical gear over it, stretching to get the blood flowing and downing a coffee for good measure.
While he's in the bathroom, you check over your weapons once more and make sure all of your guns are loaded and stocked. Running out of ammo has been the reason for near-death multiple times so it’s especially crucial that you don’t make that mistake today.
Alone with your thoughts, you finally grapple with what you’re trying to do today.
For so many years, the J.I.E. had silenced you and molded your mind and body into a perfect little war soldier under the pretenses that you were making the world a better place. You’d been a fool, blind to the millions of deaths that were paying for the price of a few lives until that veil was snatched away and revealed the horrors of humanity to you.
Your eyes shut as you remember the chains, rubbing your wrists raw as you were forced into discipline. The memory of cold metal kissing your skin before breaking through it, promising worse if you hadn’t obeyed was fresh as a morning bloom in your head. Your own screams had sounded like they were from someone else, leaving your throat torn and your vocal cords frayed.
Leon would never know the extent of the pain you had gone through, even if he’s the only one that knew the basics. You were afraid of what he would think of that–of you.
He emerges finally ready and you stare wordlessly at him. A silent understanding passes between you and the two of you jump into action.
The car ride there is a blur. Despite having walked before on your small outing when you first got here, you'd figured it would be much easier to have a getaway vehicle ready and parked a couple blocks away just in case. The store opened early, and just in time for you to sneak in inconspicuously.
Avoiding employees was easy, especially after you had swiped a keycard from the manager’s stand upon finding it carelessly abandoned.
The dressing rooms were easy enough to get into and you led Leon into the one that you had changed in while you tried on that pretty little dress he recommended. It’s only been a few days but that night feels like it was so long ago, especially with how many cycles of emotions you’ve been subjected to since then.
Upon removing the middle panel, holding the keycard up to the gray block causes a loud click to sound out that notifies the door has been unlocked. Uneasily, you breathe in deeply and push in.
The interior is something you’re familiar with since it took on a similar appearance to that of the lab you’d been assigned to. However, the layout is foreign so it’s a toss in the air as to where anything could possibly be. The walls are lined with thick cords that are warm to the touch and the vibration of the lab's electricity current hums under your feet. You take out your handgun, keeping your finger off the trigger but staying alert all the same.
Leon fires off a shot and you whirl around just in time to see a camera falling to the ground brokenly.
The initial entrance is a straight shot but eventually you reach a hub of sorts where there are multiple tunnels branching off into different directions. Above them are signs that list the area of interest that each one led down to, ranging from dormitories to experimentations. The offices were the most dangerous to try and breach since multiple people working meant a bigger crowd to try and disperse if you got caught, though you're convinced that this place must be overrun like an ant colony.
"Where do we go from here?" Leon asks and your stomach flips.
You haven't heard him speak since your fallout a few days ago so it's an emotional whiplash being reminded of what exactly the most miniscule things about him do to you. Things that shouldn't elicit such reactions, making your skin spark with invisible electricity and putting your brain on high alert when he so much as breathes heavier.
"Anywhere we go is gonna be crawling with workers," you answer, keeping your composure. "They're usually confined to their assigned station for the whole day before being let off to go home. We should try and go to one that has the least amount of people or the biggest advantage for us."
"Where do you propose that might be?"
You look up at the labels above the tunnels before settling on one. "The observation deck. They use it to record the progress of their bioweapons and monitor any potential dangers they might pose so they're on a tight schedule. We might be able to find something about what they're doing there."
He nods and together, you make your way through the tunnel, shooting down any more security cameras you see and testing for any potential defense mechanisms they might have installed. It's eerily quiet besides the atmospheric noises and suspicion rises in your mind as you wonder why you haven't seen anybody thus far in your journey. You'd expected a flood of scientists or at least one assassination attempt as soon as you stepped inside, but maybe this wasn't as uptight as the lab you were at.
The observation deck was a series of catwalks crossing over a large arena, presumably where they let their bioweapons roam free while they stayed a safe height away from it. From where you entered, it happens to be in the 4th level, though the platforms stretch to multiple stories above your head. It looked almost similar to the pictures of the lab beneath the white house that Wilson had hidden away with the whole incident with Jason, though this one lacked any chemical experiments in the middle.
“Let’s go,” you whisper, pointing up to a space encased in glass. “They might have reports we can get into over there.”
Just as you go to begin walking, the static cracking of a speaker jumping to life immediately halts your steps. Leon whips around, pushing his back to yours as you defensively cover each other with your guns at the ready. There’s no telling where the speaker might be or where it was located, but the fact that it was active at all is a problem.
Then, the crackling dissipates and the voie comes through, muffled by the poor quality of a microphone.
“So you’ve finally made it,” the voice purrs through the intercom. “We’ve been expecting you.”
Neither you nor Leon answer, swiveling around and searching for any oddities while keeping your wits as the speaker crackles again and clears.
“Unfortunately, we don’t appreciate outsiders much, Agent (L/n). You should know that more than anybody.”
You grit your teeth, trying not to let their words get underneath your skin.
“Ah, well. You were a valuable asset to us. It’s so unfortunate we’ll have to do some clean-up, so to speak.”
Beneath you, something crashes against the wall with a violent boom and the dark growl of something massive reverberates through the whole entire room. A sick sort of dread grows as you look down before glancing back at Leon who’s sharing the same thought process as you are. It’s not that hard to deduce what would happen next, and silently, you pray to whatever’s out there that you would make it out of this thing alive.
“You really need to work on your speeches, pal,” Leon snaps and you would’ve laughed if you weren’t stuck in such a precarious and unpredictable situation.
“And you need to work on your manners, Mr. Kennedy,” the voice cackles, all ugly and sounding like they were hacking up a lung. “You’ll be regretting those words when you’re dead. Entertain the animal for me, will you?”
The speaker clicks off just as a metal door below flies off its hinges and nearly blows through the wall of the arena below. You break from the formation you and Leon had set up to look down at what you’re up against and your eyes widen with horror. It’s got multiple appendages whipping out from every limb, taking on the sick appearance of some mutated spider. Multiple eyes glow yellow as it glances around before zeroing in on you above it.
“Leon,” you mumble, backing up and he only gets a sparse good look at what you're up against before he’s grabbing your wrist and sprinting down the catwalk.
The beast screeches upon seeing its target on the move and one of those long arms shoots upward to latch onto the railing of the walkway. You just barely make it onto safe ground before it’s yanked away and the whole path crashes to the ground. Panic curls in your chest as you remember what had happened the last time you had faced off a bioweapon, and you start running after Leon once you gain your bearings.
All along the sides are countless offices that hold large filing cabinets, though they hardly matter in this chase scene. The monster hisses, spitting something before launching upward and beginning to climb the walls rapidly towards you. You’re able to deter it with a couple well-aimed shots to its head but, it only makes it angrier as well.
Once it’s up, your stomach jumps into your throat upon seeing that the thing is almost twice as tall as you are. It lumbers toward you with a hiss as it secretes acid that burns into the ground.
Leon stops in front of you, pulling out a rifle and pressing the scope to his eye. You’re confused as to what his approach is until he shoots and the monster reels back in pain with a scream. When you look, you see that he’s hit one of the multiple grotesque eyeballs that embed along the legs of the mutated spider. It’s not hard to see where Leon was going with this so you take out your own rifle to join him.
Gunshots ring in your ears as you and Leon rain down hellfire, backing away every so often to put distance between you and the bioweapon.
Leon runs up a flight of stairs before shoving himself into a crevice that's only large enough to fit one. You stumble up after him and turn onto another catwalk, looking back and almost vomiting. The ugly monster's wounds are leaking pus that chews holes into the ground it walks on, eyes flicking wildly before finding you–entirely missing Leon–and heading frantically in your direction.
Of fucking course they made all of its bodily fluids acidic. What else would you expect?
You switch out your rifle for a magnum and shoot around Leon as he brings up the rear. He works on picking off the rest of the leg eyeballs while you set to getting the fucker right in between it's menacing yellow eyes. The recoil is almost unfamiliar, but you swiftly get back into the rhythm of handling the weapon, walking back before reaching to your tactical utility belt and yanking off an incendiary grenade.
You pull the pin, throw it, and shield your eyes from the burst of flames that erupt and start licking along the spider's body. It shrieks so ungodly loud that you would've almost clapped your hands around your ears if you didn't remember where you were and what your goal was. You reload your magnum as quickly and accurately as you can manage, and keep shooting. Leon sprints out, using the weakened legs as leverage to swing himself onto its back and start stabbing it with the combat knife he'd been hiding.
He's a genius and lunatic all at once.
You suppose this must be nothing new to him since Leon's faced who knows how many bioweapons at this point, but this is your first time seeing it up close and personal. He fights like it's second nature–like he's simply just breathing. It's mesmerizing to watch, but the moment is over when he gets thrown off into your direction and lands heavily in front of you directly onto his arm with a pained grunt.
You wince, hoping that it hasn't been broken or dislocated, reaching out and hauling him to his feet when he accepts your hand. Together, you keep shooting as Leon pulls the pin on a hand grenade and throws it at the spider's feet. You halt, palms covering your ears as it flashes multiple times then explodes, taking the mutated monster down with it.
Organs go flying everywhere and you duck to avoid the majority splatter of the acidic blood. The explosion causes a creak and only the middle portion of the catwalk sinks before crumbling down into the wreckage already created by the first ruined walkway.
Leon stands up, panting heavily as he looks down into the mess below that has sparked a fire and was burning merrily as if you hadn't just killed a man-made monster. Speaking of which, whose body had joined the metal below and had speared onto the sharp pieces that jutted out like a homemade spike pitfall trap.
He turns to you, going to open his mouth to say something but is rapidly silenced by a creaking groan and then he shouts in panic when the ground beneath his feet gives way. You gasp, lunging forward and grabbing his hand on instinct as the portion of the walkway falls into the void below and he's left dangling precariously from a fatal height with only you to hold onto.
He glances down then back up at you, desperation in his eyes as you both come to the same realization and conclusion.
You could kill him right now.
All you had to do was let go and it would all be over as if this never happened. He would be out of your hair and all that torment he subjected you to would dissipate like cotton candy subjected to water. This would all end if you would just take the chance to drop him into that dangerous trap where you would never have to see him again, never have to worry about him again. You could drop him and turn away without a second glance to see if he survived or not.
Leon’s eyes flash and you know exactly what it is despite never seeing it before. It’s pure unadulterated fear, with his life hanging in the balance of someone who had expressed distaste for him a healthy amount of times and whose certainly not favorable towards him in any way at the moment. Even if he saved your life, were you so willing to give up this once-in-a-lifetime chance?
You have the high ground now.
You determine his fate.
You could end it all right now by just yanking your hand away and taking back everything you had done to improve your relationship with him.
Your heart thuds marathons in your ears as all your muscles twitch and have a war in your mind. The thoughts curl and shriek around each other, fighting for what they believed the right thing to do was and it felt like the whole world was watching you for some sort of revolutionary choice.
You wince, knowing what your decision is.
Hauling Leon up, your legs burn as you lift his weight from the ledge and onto safe ground, rolling away when he finally lands on the stable ground that the catwalk had been attached to. Your lungs beg for air and you pant, faintly registering what just happened as you ride out that high of adrenaline. Leon must be out of it if he hasn't made a sarcastic quip about almost dying.
"We need to get to safety," you say, shakily getting to your feet and almost stumbling back down from the shock factor.
He only nods and you reach out to help him up. Even though you didn’t drop him to his untimely death, he looks at you warily before accepting the offer, almost falling to his knees again before you shoot forward and catch him. His body heat radiates through your skin and your cheeks set ablaze at the proximity even as you sling one of his arms around your shoulders and support some of his weight as you begin walking.
“There’s a safe room I saw on the way while we were running,” you mumble, avoiding making any sort of eye contact. “We can go over there and make sure you’re not hurt.”
“What about you?” He rasps and it leaves you wondering why he’s so adamant about the state of your health when he’s just looked death between the eyes.
You laugh breathlessly, almost sarcastically if you weren’t still riding the high of that fading adrenaline. “Don’t worry about me.”
You and Leon make your way to one of the cubicles, and you set him down carefully on the office chair that he manages to unceremoniously slump into. It’s clear that his almost-death is impacting him, though you now well that this isn’t the first time he’s had a touch of the afterlife. It really did make you wonder what about this time made it any different.
While he squeezes his eyes shut and massages the shoulder he’d landed on, you reach into your bag and pull out a first aid spray for him to use when he’s ready before standing and taking in your environment. The computer is innocently waiting on the stand with the J.I.E. logo set as the wallpaper, and there’s a filing cabinet that you try to open. It doesn’t give way and you mumble out a curse under your breath as you start poking around the desk drawers for a possible key.
Leo pops the top off the spray bottle and starts healing his wounds while you flip through various pages inside. Most of them are unhelpful and just detailing things you already knew until you tumble on a report for the spider you had just killed.
You put it into a manila folder that you put in your bag, rummaging around more until you find a hidden compartment that holds the key to the file cabinet. Upon opening the locked drawer, you find reports on agents–including your own–and details on the imports and exports the company had been engaging in.
Then, you hit the jackpot.
First and foremost was a folder of maps that laid out every level and room there was in the entirety of the lab. Then, there was a large binder that recorded every experiment the J.I.E. had engaged with the creation of their bioweapons, even detailing a new virus that they were meddling with. You flip through, finding monster after monster that has failed and succeeded. For now, this would be enough until you could figure out a plan using the map and going over the particulars of the experiments.
“We should go now,” you decide. “This is more than enough to figure out where we’re going and what we’re up against.”
Silence.
The lack of response causes you to turn around and peer questioningly at Leon who just nods mindlessly and gets up. He doesn’t meet your eyes and this attitude only makes you all the more confused. What had gotten into him?
Nonetheless, he follows as you make your way to an elevator that you go up in to return to the main hub that you had entered through. You suppose that nobody had watched you through the cameras and just automatically assumed you were being taken care of by the spider bioweapon since it's still suspiciously dead silent.
You still stay alert, and if you hadn't been so on edge, Leon would've walked right into the wire trap that had been meticulously strung across the tunnel. You pull him back sharply without thinking, fingers lacing with his as you yank.
He grunts as you pull away, going to carefully disarm it, figuring this was their way of alarming anybody you made it out alive. The explosion surely would have let someone know that there were two unauthorized people still running around, so it was good you had seen the thin wire and the two dark devices flashing red lights. Then again, you'd expected Leon to be just as attentive as you were to your surroundings.
Something was bothering him. Seeing him like this wasn't helping you much either, dying to know just what had him so distracted.
The two of you finally make it to the exit carefully pushing outward into the dressing room whose door had been locked when the two of you entered to prevent anybody seeing things they shouldn't be. A quick pack of wet wipes is enough to make yourselves look decent enough to not look like you’d been playing around in dirt and gunpowder, and you make plans to shower once you got back to the hotel.
All throughout your way back, Leon still stays infuriatingly silent from the lab to the suite, and the question as to why teases the tip of your tongue.
You get inside, let him know you're going to run yourself a bath, and retreat to the restroom as you sigh out with a whimper almost escaping in the process. In the solitude of your own thoughts, you finally let yourself feel that pain and anguish and confusion that you always hold back in the presence of Leon.
Fighting didn’t help at all. If anything, it only made it all the worse feeling guilt or something akin to it.
Would he ever tell you about Ada or was that just something you would have to figure out for yourself? Could you ever be closer to him knowing that he had said you meant nothing to him? It must be true if he had said it without expecting you to hear, and somehow, that sentiment causes a stabbing pang in your chest. It’s a wonderful and horrible thing–wanting someone so badly but knowing they would never want you back.
It’s a bittersweet taste on your tongue with a pungent aftertaste stinging your tastebuds, dooming yourself in the process.
Emotions were always so easy to stomp down and kill before. What about this whole ordeal could possibly make this any different?
Some dark part of your mind whispers that you know. You know what this provocative emotion is that makes your head spin and act irrationally, but you’d die before ever admitting it out loud. This may as well be worse than a death penalty–or rather, it is your death penalty.
The sound of rushing water acts as a soothing white noise until the tub is full and submerging yourself in the warm water causes a sigh of relief to fly past your lips in a gentle exhale. You take your time, washing your hair and massaging fingers into your scalp to help focus on releasing all of that tension that has built up over the past few days. The water turns gray from all that built up grime and dust and the soapy suds merely adds to the discoloration once you actually start scrubbing.
Once you’re done, you feel more human, more in control. The thoughts have quieted, and you finally start to feel like you can get a grasp on yourself again. You think you’re ready to see Leon and just simply resign to the watching the city on the balcony or going to sleep early like the past few days have allowed you. You can live with this. You can do it.
Once this is all said and done, you can part ways. You can forget him.
You could…
You have to. Right?
You step out, steam chasing after you as if beckoning you back into its warm embrace and you find Leon staring out the window mindlessly. You get hit with deja vu as it reminds you of the first morning you’d gotten here and watched the sunrise together. That was when you were nothing more than unlikely but eager allies. Now? You don’t know what you are.
You don’t want to be the one that wants him while he just wants the entertainment. You’re smarter than that.
“Hey,” you call out and he turns slightly, acknowledging you. The atmosphere turns slightly awkward when he provides no verbal answer. “I’m just going to go sit outside for a bit since I guess you want to be alone right now. If you need me, I’ll be-”
"Stop."
His command makes the words fade from your tongue and you swallow harshly. The first words he’s spoken to you since asking how you were at the lab are spoken roughly, making your heart drop into your stomach. When had you started listening to him when he ordered you around? You weren't one of his rookies or agents on his team, but right now, you were completely and totally at the mercy of whatever he might do.
"Why did you save me?" He asks tightly, turning around and finally getting a good look at you in an oversized t-shirt with pajama shorts barely peeking out from underneath the hem. His eyes wander and he swallows harshly. "You could have killed me–ended this feud and finally been the hero of this whole story. Why did you do it?"
You don't have to think about the answer, but it's shameful. After giving him the cold shoulder upon hearing him with Ada and sealing your emotions in a tight little glass bottle, they come spilling out now for Leon to pick through and judge.
"I don't want you to die," you whisper, taking a step back, afraid of whatever he might say.
He moves toward you at an excruciatingly slow pace, expression unreadable and more intimidating than the literal bioweapon you had survived just hours ago. You match his footfalls backward and you think this fear must be what prey feels like when death has locked eyes on it.
"I can't–We can talk about this, yeah?” You try explaining, wondering if there was any possibility you could talk your way out of this. “It doesn't matter–not really. We just…"
You're rambling now, trying to find an excuse to stop those blue eyes from piercing your soul and peeling away every layer of defense you've built up. He keeps getting closer and you're running out of room to escape to. You've never been more scared of him than in this moment–even when he almost killed you the day you met, you've never felt like this. A deer in the headlights, electricity coursing through your nerves as your brain struggles to choose between fight or flight.
Did he know? Did he know about all those lingering gazes and words that held guilt behind them and all those emotions that you weren't supposed to be having clogging up your chest?
Your back hits a wall and you're fucked.
Leon's hand finds your waist when he's close enough, your skin rushing hot as his breath fans your face and you smell spearmint. It's addicting. He's addicting. Your heartbeat rushes in your ears, pounding anxiously as the nerves in your body light up like a Christmas tree.
When he speaks, it’s all low tones and so fucking attractive.
"Sweet girl," he murmurs, affectionately raw in a way you never would've imagined him to be. His other hand comes up, cupping your jaw delicately and all the blood rushes to your face.
He's called you many things before, and has used more than enough adjectives to convey this disdain for you. Annoying, disgusting, naive, revolting, repulsive…but never in a million years would he have called you sweet. You must be dreaming, and if you are, you never want to wake up.
"I'm actually a very indulgent creep," you wheeze out and barely conceal a whimper. "Leon, you-"
He cuts you off as his lips press onto yours and all rational thought leaves your brain in an instant. His mouth molds to yours, fingers on your waist mindlessly beginning to run circles as he presses heavily onto you as if this is what’s been wanting just as much as you. All you can feel is him, his hands on your body, his mouth working your own in such a sinful way that makes your head spin and your stomach do cartwheels.
You close your eyes, let yourself fall from grace, and plummet.
His tongue licks into your mouth and you moan as he presses you further into the wall as if it were possible. His grip turns almost bruising on your skin as he guides the hand that had been caressing your waist down to your thigh, prompting your leg to wrap around him. When you get the hint, he uses the momentum to haul you up and you squeak as he gets his arm underneath you with ease and stabilizes you.
Leon laughs breathlessly, and he kisses on your neck. Your fingers thread through his brunette locks while you work on refilling your lungs with air. This small hint of joy–this humorous moment in something so tense–is what really matters. You can’t believe this is happening, but the way his touch burns is more than enough of an indicator that this is real.
He moves with you in his arms like you weigh nothing. Leon lets you down onto the hotel suite's bed gentle enough to not hurt you but still rough enough that you bounce from the buoyancy of the memory foam. Your back hits the mattress and everything seems to fall into place the way it should be.
Leon's hands are all over you, trailing from your hips to your stomach and up to your chest. The touch of his palms burns your skin like trails of heated lava pleasantly oozing along your veins. He burns so brightly but yet so so good. Leon hikes up your shirt, exposing your stomach to the cool air that blows across your burning body as his tongue pries your mouth open again. You hum in satisfaction as his wet muscle curls around yours hotly and arousal sparks in your gut as you feel slick just starting to begin pooling uncomfortably in your panties.
He pulls away, kissing the corner of your mouth as he pants, your legs still straddling around him even while you lie down. He looks so fucking pretty.
"Cat got your tongue?" He teases and you kick him lightly in the back with your heel.
"You wish," you retort mockingly. "You're all bark and no bite."
Leon raises an eyebrow. "Is that a challenge?"
You smile, something genuine and soft and so beautifully crafted just for him. "It's whatever you want it to be."
"Then let me tell you how I want it to be." His hot breaths fan across your skin and you really do feel like you're already burning as his fingers pull your shirt further and further up your torso.
"Go ahead," you pull him closer, noses bumping together as you press a feather-light kiss to the stubble on his cheek. "I'm listening."
"I want you underneath me," he admits it like he's in a confessional, but whatever this is is far from holy. "I want to hear how you sound when I make you feel good, sweetheart." He nips at your neck, soothing the tiny burn with the flat of his tongue. "Can I do that for you? Will you let me?"
You wouldn’t just hand everything over to him on a silver platter. A little teasing never hurts, right?
"I don't know," you hum, though every instinct in you screams to submit just so he can do whatever he wants with you. "All this just for a little entertainment? You sure do go all out, Kennedy."
"Is that what you think this is?" He pulls away and you almost protest at the lack of contact until you get a good look at his expression. Something like sadness and doubt lining those electric blue eyes that you've come to stare at for hours.
You don’t like the sudden shift in atmosphere so you shake your head in hopes of clearing those shadows away from his head. “Of course not–I’m sorry. That was a bad choice of wording on my part.”
He laughs, nervous and still lingering with some semblance of unease. “You sure know how to keep me on my toes.”
“I haven’t been this close with someone in a while,” you admit and shift your eyes to a random spot on the ceiling, trying to ignore the giddy feeling that came from him still hovering above you from between your legs. “You should know I’m not very…experienced or anything. I’m sorry.”
“Quit apologizing,” he chastises, fingers tilting up your chin so he can lean upward to press a warm kiss to your forehead. “I won’t do anything you don’t want to do.”
You take the time to consider this, knowing that whatever was about to unfold would be something big in your relationship. It feels like there hasn’t been enough time to process your undying devotion for him or the questions that still linger behind Ada’s appearance, but you do know that this is something you can work out. This is something you want.
Still, there’s just some things you can’t let go of.
“Before I answer that,” you sigh, hating that you’re bringing down the mood with your fears. “Can I ask what Ada was doing here–what she wanted?”
Leon’s eyes take on a new emotion and his whole body tenses. You’re afraid that you’ve struck a chord he wouldn’t want to discuss and you fearfully wonder if this would sever any chance you have with him.
“You know Ada?” he asks and it’s painful when he says so. Whatever she means to him, it must not herald any good will.
“No,” you frown. “I heard you talking a few nights ago on the balcony. You…” The words don’t come off your tongue stubbornly, trying to stuff themselves back into your throat. “You said I was nobody–that I meant nothing to you. I mean, if that’s true, then what could you possibly want me for?”
The sting of it all comes rushing back in this incredibly vulnerable moment. You were never good with intense emotions nor did you have a good handle on them when they exploded outward like a volcanic eruption. It’s no surprise when the tears start threatening to fall, though you curse them and hold them back in an attempt to keep your dignity.
Leon makes a wounded noise deep from the back of his throat.
“I was trying to protect you.”
It doesn’t make sense. “What?”
He ducks his head, and you desperately try to understand. “She’s backstabbed me more than once. I can’t count how many times Ada’s used me for her own gain, and I just–I couldn’t just let her get her hands on you that easily.”
“So…?”
“I lied,” Leon pleads, and the ice melts away from your burning heart. “You mean everything to me, (Y/n). I can’t lose you like I’ve lost everyone else.”
“Leon,” you whisper, all too vulnerable and drowning in that unnamed emotion. The answer to his questions and advances pours from your lips like a sacred waterfall, ready and yearning. “I want you. Make me feel good–I’ll let you.”
His pupils dilate and he dives back down, claiming your lips with his in a rougher kiss than the ones previously before.
Your fingers tangle in his hair when he moves down, tugging on your shirt so that it could finally come off over your torso. The cool air blows across your hot skin, moaning when he massages the pad of his thumb around one of your nipples, and the pleasure sends your thoughts into a whirlwind.
“You have no idea how much I’ve thought of this,” Leon murmurs, eyes slipping shut as if he was trying to map out and memorize your whole body.
You don’t get to ask what he means by that when he opens his mouth and licks the flat of his tongue wetly across your tit. Your head tilts back of its own accord, a strangled moan escaping in the process before you slap a hand over your mouth to muffle the noise. Heated shame rushes to your cheeks as you look down, already finding Leon gazing up at you, mesmerized.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he prompts, pulling your arm away. “Let me hear you, sweetheart.”
Why was he so persistent with the pet names? If he keeps this up, you’ll be nothing more than just putty in his hands.
“Stop,” you whine, covering your eyes like that would change anything. “You’re gonna drive me insane if you keep saying things like that.”
“Do you not like me calling you names?”
You peek through your fingers to find him all the more attentive, trying to find what you don’t like and what you want. That love, care, and attention was something you never had–never deserved. How could you tell him that he’s giving you everything you want while not discouraging him from doing so?
“It’s not that,” you swallow shamefully. “Nobody’s ever told me that. Or called me anything, for that matter. It’s just new–I think I’m trying to figure out how to handle it all.”
His expression darkens and you think he might tease you or tell you to suck it up. Instead, Leon almost growls out, “Nobody?”
You make a noise of confirmation.
“Oh, baby.” He rests his cheek on your stomach and traces patterns on your skin. “Your last partner didn’t?”
You scoff, deciding to be vulnerable just this once. “My last partner was in highschool, honey.” The pet name feels foreign, but good nonetheless. You can understand why he seems so insistent on using them with you. “Like I said–it’s been a while.”
“Even so.” He picks up his head and shakes it, moving even further down and hooking fingers into the waistband of your shorts. “They didn’t appreciate you like you deserved then.”
Your voice cracks as you rest your head back onto the pillow and whisper, “I don’t think I did.”
Down, down, down your shorts trail along your legs, leaving you in nothing but a lacy pair of underwear and all too vulnerable emotionally and physically. You make a noise of dissatisfaction, tugging on Leon’s shirt as he was still unfairly dressed.
He chuckles and gets the hint, leaning up to throw it off as you get to admire his body. There’s multiple scars from the tussles he’s engaged in with fighting bioweapons for a living, but one in particular catches your eye. Set proudly on his shoulder is a bullet bound that looks to be years old, all knotted and improperly healed. He must’ve not had the right care available to him when he got it. Leon sees you eyeing it, and smiles, albeit a bit sadly.
“Don’t worry about it,” he urges, falling back over you and kissing you softly, leaving a peck on your chin as he keeps going down.
“I’ll worry about it later,” you compromise.
Leon lifts one of your legs, trailing featherlight kisses down your calves and into the inside of your thighs before swapping to the other and repeating the action. You sigh blissfully, letting that arousal build like a growing fire in your belly until you absolutely need something to quell it. You need him to do it–nobody else.
There’s nobody else in the world you would be this exposed to. There’s nobody else you need.
“Leon,” you whine, hips gyrating as the accumulated wetness has become noticeably uncomfortable. “C’mon. I’m dying here.”
He actually laughs at that–not a chuckle or a huff of a breath that you’re so used to. A laugh, warm and genuine and painting lines across his features that you commit to memory in case you can never have this moment with him again. The possibility that this is a one-time thing is terrifying, but it gives you all the more reason to savor it.
Granting you some reprieve, he finally, finally, presses a heated kiss to your clothed clit and you cry out, hips bucking up of their own accord because you needed more than just the slight touches he was teasing you with. Leon gets his hands on you, driving your pelvis down and holding it in place as he licks a heated stripe up the outside of your panties. It's a warm, wet, and wild sensation–one that gives you a taste of Heaven without actually being there.
The feel of it is enough to drown you as you struggle to writhe beneath his restraint, head tossing back and heart fluttering to the beat of hummingbird wings. Your fingers tangle in his hair instinctively and pull, earning a delicious groan from him that reverberates through the room. You’re obsessed, or something along the lines of it, and you hope this never ends.
"You're so beautiful," Leon murmurs, eyes fluttering shut before he begins yanking off your panties like they offended him personally. Your glistening core is exposed to him, positively dripping from just the small things he's given you so far. "Jesus Christ, sweet girl. Is this all from the little I've done?"
You squeak as he positions your legs over his shoulders, breaths puffing right over your waiting cunt that impatiently pulses with the need to be filled. He still doesn't allow you much room to move and a desperate little noise makes its way from your throat as he teases you with everything you want so close yet so far.
"Use your big girl words," he prompts gently, tilting his head so that it rests on your inner thigh. "I need to know that you want this."
"I do," you whimper immediately, trying to find solace in tweaking one of your nipples for some sort of pleasurable reprieve. All that dignity you'd been trying to preserve goes out the window. "I want you so bad, Leon. I can't take it anymore–please, please."
"Good girl," he purrs, all sultry and seductive.
You choke on a gasp when his lips close around your folds, sucking sharply and swirling his tongue in your clit roughly. Instinctively, your hips break free and shy away from his touch, but Leon has none of it and merely pulls you back down to keep attacking your poor cunt. You moan freely, hand tugging on his hair as he laps up your arousal like a dying man and when his eyes flick up to meet yours, the fire in your belly flares.
You cry out his name, unable to vocalize or convey just how good he was making you feel. You've never had this before–this attention and euphoria.
Leon's head nods into you as his tongue fucks you deeper and you squirm under his ministrations, pushing against his face in vain as if he could grant you more than he could. He sinks his middle finger into your wet heat, tongue circling on your clit as he pumps in and out of you. The noises your pussy makes when he adds his ring finger and starts rocking them in and out of you would almost be embarrassing if you weren't so focused solely on how he was making you feel.
He eats you out like this would be his last meal, savoring the taste of you on his tongue as he fingerfucks you brutally. Experimentally, he curls his fingers up and you squeal, babbling incoherently and just settling on begging him to let you go. You can feel it building up just as he brushes against a spot deep inside you that makes you ascend, and you squeeze your eyes shut as the pleasure pricks tears in your eyes.
He moans appreciatively, sending vibrations throughout your whole body and as you grind desperately against him. He keeps you as still as he can manage, but you're not a world-class agent for nothing. Even as Leon tries to control the thrusting of your hips upward, he also has to work on keeping your legs spread open in case you crush his head in between your thighs.
Maybe he wouldn't object to it.
Leon pulls away, watching his fingers disappearing into you with a nonexistent resistance, cooing over your whimpers. "Does that feel good, sweet thing? Fuck, you taste amazing."
You keen at his words, face blazing hot as he momentarily takes the time to rub his wet fingers all across your folds so that cool air kisses between your thighs. "Leon!"
"You say my name so prettily," he sighs erotically, pushing his fingers back into you and scissoring harshly as he's knuckle-deep. "You gonna let me stretch you out? Gonna let me fuck you so good, all you can think about is my name?"
"Please," you whine again, and you have a feeling you'd be asking him for a lot tonight. Trying to think of any way to speed up the process so you can get what you really wanted, you whisper desperately, "Baby, I need you inside of me."
"Fuck," he hisses, voice gravelly as he begs. "Let me fuck you, angel. Let me fuck that pretty pussy of yours."
Your legs spread even wider as he works on getting his jeans off, and you eye the happy trail that takes route from his belly button and disappears into the waistband of his boxers. He's leanly muscular, though he's nothing short of attractive to you.
To think that only a couple weeks ago, you would've killed yourself before even thinking about having sex with Leon Kennedy. Now, you think you would offer up yourself to whatever god existed just to be able to have this again–to be able to have him again. This vulnerable moment where all he wanted was to make you feel good and to hear you scream his name is something that has come straight out of your fantasies.
Fantasies during nights where you thought about touching yourself because of him but holding back because trying to hold back your noises while the man was literally sleeping in the same room was a horrendous idea. All that time you thought about what he would do to you and craving a touch you never thought you would get is paying off as he eyes you hungrily from above, licking the slick you'd left off of his fingers and palming the obvious tent in his boxers.
"You're staring," he comments slyly and you roll your eyes.
"And you're thinking about me," you accuse.
A smirk grows on his face, a mischievous glint in his blue eyes as he shuffles down the waistband of his underwear only slightly but just enough so you can see the implications of his sculpted v-line.
"How did you know?" Leon hums and you blush furiously as if that persistent heat could burn any hotter.
You turn your face away, unable to hold eye contact without getting flustered all over again. "Take it off before I do it for you, asshole."
"Would you?" He croons and you hide your face in your hands from the embarrassment of his unspoken words. "You're so cute when you're embarrassed, sweetheart."
It doesn't feel like you're adults right now, but rather two stupid teens getting up to something they shouldn't and acting like they were grown ups. It doesn't help the fact that you've had a playground rivalry for who knows how long, something so childish that you can't believe you'd let your icy emotions get the better of you for all those years. You can't help but wonder if this is something you could have had if you hadn't been so blind-eyed by the J.I.E.
You feel the mattress shift beneath you and you pull your hands away from your eyes just in time to see Leon throw his discarded boxers somewhere else in the room, but it doesn't take long for your eyes to trail down. Leon's cock stands stiffly at attention, already leaking precum from the angry red tip that he hadn't even touched yet. Your mouth waters, and your hand twitches to wrap around it though you haven't had this experience for maybe over a decade.
"See something you want?" He teases, though the words barely reach your ears as he climbs back to hover over you.
You're crazy, and you know it by the way the words fall from your lips without a second thought. "Yeah. Was it from just…?"
His cockiness fades for a moment and his eyes soften, a genuine smile spreading across his features and lighting up his already-flushed face. "You're incredibly sexy when you're enjoying yourself, princess." You startle, and he laughs lowly, pecking your cheek. "Liked that one, huh?"
Leon kisses you deeply and you moan upon tasting yourself on his tongue as he feels up your torso and wipes a thumb over your breast. Blindly, you feel down his stomach, appreciating the definition of his well-deserved abs, and finally get a shaking hand around his dick. The action elicits a rich groan from him, even though you've barely even touched him.
You slide your thumb across his slit, beading wetness sliding down your palm and providing the moisture you needed to stimulate him just right. Your motions aren't smooth by any means, and Leon can probably tell that you're not used to this, but he must be getting something out of it by the way his mouth drops open and his eyes screw shut with that beautiful blush spreading across his skin like wildfire.
"Careful," he warns, but it ends with a guttural moan when your fingers brush delicately across his balls. "Shit, you're gonna make me go insane."
"It's payback, baby," you simper, groaning when he runs a finger up your folds in punishment. In revenge, you pump your hand a little faster around his length and you can feel the throbbing veins pushing into your palm.
Leon pulls your wrist away, and you go to protest, wanting to give him more like he'd given you, but he shakes his head and cuts you off with a well-meaning kiss. "We'll do that another time, doll. Right now, it's about you."
"But-"
"C'mon," he cradles your face so gently that the words die on your tongue. "Trust me, sweetheart. I'm right here–I'm not going anywhere. Not not, not ever."
His words cause your emotions to soar, tears leaking vulnerably from your lashes and he wipes them away gently with the pads of his thumbs. Nobody ever stays like he promises and the threat of him breaking that vow hangs precariously in your mind on whether you'll truly take it to heart or not. All around you is him, hands on your body and voice floating richly in your ears. Could you have this again and again? Would he stay long enough to let you?
"Don't leave," you beg pathetically, looking up at him through shamefully teary eyes. "Just don't go."
"I promise," his forehead presses against yours as he whispers vows under the cover of this private moment with just the two of you. "I promise."
You lock your legs around his waist and pull him downward so that his cock taps impatiently against your stomach and Leon quickly gets the hint as he reaches down to pump himself a couple times in preparation. He kisses you deeply, passionately, as he lines up with your entrance and the weight of anticipation causes all the blood to rush to your head. He grinds for an agonizing moment, dick sliding between your folds tantalizingly slow before he finally gives in.
The head of his cock presses into your cunt and your mouth drops open, skin flushing as you pull him closer to get your lips on his to muffle the desperate sounds you make as he sinks inch by agonizing inch into you. Your thoughts scatter until nothing but Leon fills them and your heart beats marathons in your chest.
Your hands find his broad shoulders, hanging on for dear life as he pushes further into you as you adjust to feeling him inside of you. It's been literal years since you've last had sex and though you'd never expected it to be with Leon, it feels a lot more sentimental and pleasurable than the affairs you'd had with past partners.
"Fuck, baby, you feel so good," Leon groans out, rolling his hips so that he bottoms out and the euphoria washes over you so deliciously that your eyes roll into the back of your head.
"Le–on," his name falls brokenly from your lips, head spinning as you glance down and spot the outline of him bulging from your skin.
Leon's forearms land on either side of your head, his nose bumping yours as his lidded eyes search yours. "Say it again. Say my name again, sweet thing."
Fucking hell, his nicknames were going to be the death of you.
"Leon–" you cry out when he sharply thrusts once, twice, then slowly begins setting a pace that has you seeing stars. As he adjusts to being inside of you, his speed increases in increments. You allow yourself to be loud, because right now, you could care less about dignity when Leon was just getting started.
His hips slam against you harshly, and he has you almost screaming when you can feel your plush walls hugging every vein and definition of his cock that he drags through you sweetly. His balls clap noisily against your skin and just the sound of it alone was enough to get you high and ever so closer to that sweet release. Leon's lips land on yours, kissing you roughly and the euphoria you were gifted from him abusing your hole was enough to keep you on cloud nine for at least a week.
"Do you know how much I thought of this?" Leon grunts out, moving down so he can kiss the skin behind your ear affectionately. "Getting to fuck you so good that you don't remember anything but my name?"
His words make you whine and writhe beneath him until his hands hold your hips down so he can continue jackhammering into you at that relentless pace. You can feel the tip of his cock kissing your cervix bruisingly and the fact that he's so deep inside of you is enough to leave you absolutely dripping.
"Leon–fuck, fuck!" You cry out as he folds one of your legs up and settles your knee into the crook of his elbow, using that leverage to fuck your sweet cunt even harder.
"All mine," he mumbles, pussy drunk and caught in a brain fog. "So fucking beautiful and all for me, yeah?"
You barely manage to hum out an affirmation but the torturous pleasure he subjects you to makes it sound borderline pornographic. Your thoughts scatter in the wind and only leave you enough sense to rack your fingers through his hair as he rocks his cock in and out of your hole, addicted to the feeling as you lose yourselves within each other.
Higher and higher Leon takes you, licking up the column of your throat and biting hickeys into the skin of your neck as if to mark you as his. The pleasure burns brightly, a traveling firework climbing up to the sky in hope of exploding outward. This sensation–something you've never had before–is what makes you obsessed and afraid to ever let go. All those years that people came into your life and left without prompting is negated by the fact that he's stayed.
Leon stretches you into a full-on mating press, your knees kissing your chest as he fucks you deeper than before. You sob brokenly, clasping your arms around his neck and holding on for dear life as he pistons his hips harder into your dripping heat. The weight of him on your body as he works you both up to your heights drives you crazy and you can feel all that tension building up–that firework ready to burst.
"You know how pretty you looked?" He grunts out, working his thrusts as if he could go any deeper than he already was and you squeak as he gives your tit a slap. "All dolled up and wearing that pretty little dress I picked out for you? Fuck, I was so close to taking you that night."
"Leon," you whimper as those clear blue eyes bore into yours, hooded with lust and swirling with more emotion and passion than you've ever seen before. "Shit, if that's what you really think, why didn't you do this sooner?"
"Do what, sweet thing? Fuck this pretty pussy 'til I was rearranging your guts?"
You whine submissively at his words, tugging him closer, and hiding your face in his neck. His cock ploughs into your shopping heat, fucking you like the two of you are animals. Leon swallows your gasp, tongue lolling out to beg for air until he captures your mouth and steals all the breath from your lungs. His tongue wrestles your one into submission before pulling back, a trail of saliva connecting your moist lips.
"I wanted to," he admits vulnerably, "so many times we were alone–wanted to bring you to a quiet little place where we could forget about the missions and rivalries and show you what you were missing.."
You weren't going to last long if he kept revealing secrets like this was some sort of steamy confessional.
"I thought you hated me," you gasp, keening when his pace slows and begins favoring hitting you deep and hard over speed. Your eyes roll upward before squeezing shut and just revealing the feeling of him all around you in the best case of sensory overload. "I thought you wanted me dead where I stood."
He tilts your chin up, rutting deep into you that makes you see stars. "That cocky little girl who was unkillable, maybe. But, you showed yourself to me and there you were."
"But, you-"
"I didn't want to scare you off," he sighs, something soft that contradicts the way he's still balls deep inside you. "I was ready to kill you when you landed on my doorstep at that shitty motel, but…I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t lose you."
There's a gap where he trails off, looking into your eyes as you realize that all while you scorned him and loved him, he was going through the same tortuous emotions as you. Those encounters, shooting bullets in each other's directions and painting scars through wounds was all one-sided. Leon knows you genuinely hated him in a past life as he hated you too, wished he was dead in the same way he was so close to putting a bullet through your skull, and yet he's still here.
"I did hate you." You bury your nose into his neck. "I preyed on your downfall for so many nights and loathed that you kept me alive just to prove a point."
"And now?"
You open your eyes, looking past through tears that have started to prick your lash line. Your chest swells with an emotion you haven't felt in a long while, reigniting flames on a piece of cold coal that hasn't felt the kiss of fire for so long. This feeling that has caused you so much conflict before has a name on your heart, your mind, then your tongue.
"Now?" You reach up, brushing bangs away from his moist forehead, and bring him closer like you were telling him a secret. Your lips ghost over his as you answer. "Fuck, I love you, Leon."
That declaration seems to be the breaking point as he squishes you between his body and mattress, sinking his weight onto you as he desperately begins pounding you into the bedsheets. You moan loudly, unbidden as you relish in the feeling of Leon and trailing your fingernails down his back in angry red lines. The pleasure tips you into overdrive, and you almost scream as you feel yourself just beginning to tip over the edge.
“Leon, I,” you stutter and his hips never break stride, seemingly spurred on by the implication of your words hot and heavy in your ear, “I’m close, baby. Fuck, I’m gonna cum.”
You choke on your breath as he wedges a hand between your bodies, rubbing furiously at your clit while muffling your sobs with an open-mouthed kiss.
“Cum for me,” he pleads, eyes squeezing shut like you were tormenting him. “Cum on my cock baby, and I’ll cum for you too.”
Your head slams back onto the pillow, gasping and choking for air as you finally crash and that firework explodes outward. Your mind reels as you see white, gushing hotly around Leon who’s still chasing after his own high. You take the overstimulation, tears running freely now as you hold on for dear life he uses you to achieve his own orgasm, his grunts and breathy moans making home inside your memory as the sweetest sounds you’ve ever heard. You call out his name like a chant–a mantra, sweeter than any prayer you’ve ever had to utter.
When he pulls you in his arms, settles his full weight onto you, and kisses you so desperately like you’d disappear the moment he opened his eyes, you know he’s reached it.
Leon rams his hips so that he drives as far as he could into you, cum shooting white hot ropes and painting your walls white. You choke on your own breath as warmth spreads through your body, addicted already to the feeling of his cum spurting inside. You're mesmerized as you watch as his face pinches into something so beautiful and pretty to watch, and you wish you could ingrain the look of him coming undone into your head permanently.
Nothing but hot pants fill the air as he lifts himself from your frame, hands bracketing either side of your head as he pushes himself up to get a good look at you, blissed out on his cock and almost fucked stupid. He brushes fair from your forehead and kisses you lightly in a deep contrast to the way he had nearly bruised your lips as he came.
You shift and he winces, slamming his hands on your hips to hold you still as he stays inside of you.
"Stop," he breathes out as if it pained him.
"Leon? What are you-"
"Fuck–just please, I need–" he gasps, slightly moist forehead coming to rest on yours, "You're so good, baby. Just let me stay like this for a bit–just a second."
Your emotions take a hit as he begs you to stay despite the oversensitivity combating the need to be as close as possible to you. "Alright," you whisper, though a pressing question comes to the forefront of your mind. "Can I ask you something?"
"Hm?"
"Why did…Why’d you kiss me?"
He laughs, all gentle and real right from his stomach and it sends shivers down your spine. You want to draw the sight of his laugh lines into your permanent memory. "Of all the things that just happened, that's what you want to know?"
"Mhm," you affirm, having no strength to try and fight him on the matter. He's left you breathless and tired, and frankly, you just want to know what’s on his mind.
"Well, that's a bit of a stupid question." He nudges your chin up with the crook of his index finger and those blue crystalline eyes catch yours to sweep you off your feet again. "I kissed you because I wanted to, sweetheart.”
You breathe, working on keeping it level as he finally slips out of you, mixed fluids leaking out of your spent cunt upon not being plugged anymore. Leon leans back, admiring his work and laughs to himself. His eyes trail up your body and your gazes connect. You find him looking at you, searching for something like he usually does, but this time, he finally seems he found what he’s looking for.
“Did I let you find it?” you ask tiredly.
“Hm?”
“Back at the cafe,” you explain with exhaustion lacing your voice. Leon gets up, disappearing into the bathroom for a moment, and you hear the sound of running water. When he comes back out, he grabs a water bottle from the fridge that was provided from the hotel and returns to the bedside, running the warm cloth against your oversensitive skin.
“Yeah?” He murmurs to show he’s still listening even as he carefully wipes down the inside of your thighs. “What about it?”
“You said you were looking for something, but I wasn’t letting you find it. Did I do it?”
Leon pauses in his actions, takes a good look at you though you don’t know what’s happening in that complicated head of his. Nonetheless, he smiles and crows feet crinkle his eyes as he leans over to press a chaste kiss to your lips. “You did,” he affirms sweetly, then once he deems you clean enough, he says, “You did good, baby.”
The praise goes straight to your head as you try uprighting yourself, but almost miserably failing before Leon catches you. One of his arms curls around your rigid upper back and the other tucks beneath your knees as he easily lifts you and carries you to the pull-out bed that he’s been sleeping on since you got here. Gently, he deposits you on the mattress with the water bottle before beginning to wipe himself down.
You take gentle sips, watching him as he finishes up and joins you at your side on the bed, sinking down in the much cleaner sheets and tossing the fabric over you. Quickly, you fall into place with your head on his chest listening to his heartbeat and legs intertwined. One of his arms lazily tosses over your waist as he buries his nose into your hair.
Never before has your heart felt so full and alive before, pumping strongly and emotionally just for the man in front of you.
“Thank you,” you whisper, feeling sleep weigh heavily on your mind. “For everything.”
“You make it sound like you’re dying,” he jokes, hand running cautiously up and down your back. You shudder as he feels along every scar with expert care, but you find it's not as bad as you thought it would be. “We still have a long way ahead of us.”
“We do,” you agree thoughtfully before hesitating. “Do…you feel the same way I do?”
Leon kisses the crown of your head affectionately, polling you tighter and more securely against him. “Oh, I adore you, sweet girl. You’ve got me at your beck and call, I can promise you that.”
“Okay,” you settle down, finally at peace. “You’ll stay?”
He tilts your head up, making you stare into those blue eyes that have carried you through so many years of torture and conflicted love. Leon Kennedy, this masterpiece of a man weighed down by years of his job who has tried to kill you and in turn survived your attempts to slit his throat wide open loves you. Even when you hated him, you couldn’t stay away as if the stars and the universe had destined for you to always be connected.
Maybe this is what it means to be in love–to be devoted to someone that you need then like you need the air to breathe.
“I promise,” Leon says, sleep edging on his voice warmly but still persisting to lay your fears to rest. “You’ll have to kill me to stay away from you, (Y/n). I’m yours, whenever and wherever you need, no matter the time of day. I’m staying for you because I love you.”
What a strange thing it is to be in love. But, perhaps in this moment, where you feel so incredibly warm and rich like a healthy fire with plenty of fuel to go on forever, you decide it’s not so bad.
No longer does your heart stay frozen and bitter from years of misuse, but who would’ve guessed that the man who you swore to hate for the rest of your days would be the one to finally melt it down into a blazing fire of emotion?
Far away, miles away from you and Leon, the blizzard that had forced you under the same roof all those weeks ago dissipates, finally satisfied.
#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy#resident evil x reader#leon s kennedy#leon s kennedy x reader#resident evil#resident evil fanfiction#leon scott kennedy#leon scott kennedy x reader#leon x reader#leon kennedy imagine#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy x y/n#resident evil leon#resident evil fic#resident evil x you#leon kennedy fanfic
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here we go again. serious post time. This one is about a very serious topic, and could be very sensitive for some people (cw: manipulation, domestic abuse). if you aren’t aware, this is about Shelby (and Wilbur, which is mainly who this post is about, but reminder that THIS IS NOT HIS STORY. TOSS HIM ASIDE. LIFT SHUBBLE UP.). There is a TLDR at the bottom, as well as a comment regarding my fics.
Shelby (Shubble) recently spoke about an ex boyfriend who abused her. People were guessing it was Wilbur, but she couldn’t say the name due to legal things, but today the scumbag posted a response.He tweeted an “apology”, that spoiler alert, was not an apology. Here is his sorry excuse of a reply if you’d like to read for yourself:
There are some things I’d like to point out here. First of all, he made this about himself. It’s not a damn apology, it’s a lousy attempt at avoiding taking responsibility. Second, he refers to the abuse as an “allegation.” It is not.
He locked her in his filthy ant-infested house. He refused to give her house keys even when he made her clean up after him and pay for the materials. He went two months without unpromptedly complementing her. He bit her so hard that it bruised and she would scream out their safe word. At the safe word he would sometimes bite harder, or grind his teeth against her skin. He joked that she looked like she was abused.
By the way, human bites are more dangerous than an animal bite. They’re incredibly dangerous due to the amount of bacteria in our mouths and can easily kill someone. Oh and also? That reply has an 85% match with AI generated content on TurnItIn, a website used for college papers.
Here are some responses to his “apology” from other CCs, as well as Shelby’s response:
You hear Shubble. They don’t accept it, meaning neither will we.
As far as other response go especially Freddie and Billzo’s are incredibly concerning. Do not, I repeat, do not pressure Tommy in particular to respond as quickly. He was one of the closest people to Wilbur. He was very young when they became friends, and Wilbur clearly has a history manipulating teenagers. They went through a friend’s death together. Maybe he did have a soft spot for Tommy, or maybe Tom received the worst treatment of any of his friends.
Phil is currently out of the country and off of Twitter, so he might take a bit to reply as well as the fact he may only now be realizing that he was close friends with an abuser. If he supports Wilbur, we drop him too.
Wilbur does not deserve support. He is a terrible person. He manipulates people for his own benefit, “abuses those he loves”. If you’re abusing someone? You do not love them.
I have dealt with plenty of people like him, and it is so easy to miss the signs. Especially if they’re good at what they do. They gaslight, they lie, and they trick you. Do not assume that anybody knew about his abuse just because they were friends with him.
Go support Shelby. Encourage her. Follow her and watch her videos. She’s so incredibly sweet and funny, and they’re a joy to watch. Shelby is asexual and uses she/they pronouns.
There is no excuse for supporting him. I have followed Wilbur since late 2020. I was there for the first Lovejoy EP. I was there for YLYL. I have merch from Lovejoy. He has been a huge comfort to me through some of the hardest times of my life. When this came out, I have blocked both Lovejoy and Wilbur on Spotify. I have taken down every piece of merch or posters I own. Don’t support him, period.
He did not care about her. He is a terrible fucking person, and deserves to be deplatformed entirely.
As far as my fics go, I will be (once again) removing his character entirely from any story I have. It may take a while as I’m incredibly busy at the moment, but I will be doing it as quickly as possible.
One final reminder: This is about Shubble. This is NOT about Wilbur. Let Shubble take her time to process this. Support them every step of the way. She is a wonderful person and deserves the world, and the best thing we can do is focus on them and their strength through all of this. They don’t want to be known for this. Let’s get him gone and focus on lifting her up <3
TLDR: Wilbur basically admitted to abusing Shelby in an incredibly self-centered and manipulative excuse of an “apology”. Do not support him, go support Shubble.
#qsmp#wilbur soot#wilbur#shubble#discourse#Kind of#qsmp discourse#putting those there so that folks with them blocked won’t see this#cw domestic abuse#cw abuse#cw manipulation#cw domestic violence#mcyt discourse
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this is not something that I would usually post, but I really need to vent, so ya...
I'm.. incredibly upset. I've literally been sick to my stomach every since he confirmed that it was indeed him. I couldn't even read his statement, I had to look at context from comments, because I just cannot handle this.
he's been my biggest comfort cc for 3+ years. I've literally fallen asleep to his yt videos on the past bcuz his voice calmed me down. ffs I was literally watching one of his streams when one of my pet rats passed! I've spent so much money on him, money that wasn't easy for me to spare because I was a broke highschooler. I've spent time watching his content, listening to his music. I even made my dad start to like lovejoy. I've told all of my friends about how much he meant to me as a cc.
I feel so incredibly stupid. and the funny thing is, I KNEW he wasn't a good person. I know that a lot of ppl assumed that when he said all that stuff abt him not being a role model or a good person, he was just being humble. but I knew he wasn't. bcuz I'm not either and ppl never believe me when I say that. I just didn't know it was that extreme. abuse is not just "being a lil messed up". it's absolutely horrible and in his case inexcusable. I know he has real issues in his head that he's working on, and I wish him all the best with that. I sincerely hope that he may grow and change as a person.
the worst thing is that I'm still a bit in denial. I even feel a bit sorry for him, for this massive backlash that he's getting. that's not me saying that I don't think he deserves it, bcuz he absolutely does. it's more like I'm going through the 5 stages of grief. i thought that I could still support him, but I obviously don't think that I could if I tried. this isn't just being cancelled online, this is a crime. how could I ever call myself a feminist if I chose to stand with a man who's abused who knows how many women.
I have no clue what I'm going to do with his merch, I've paid good money for it and it's very comfy, but I can't help thinking that the reason why that is such a comfort sweater for me is bcuz of him. so idk. I want to cry.
it's funny how I always assume that men can be different, when they're actually all the same.
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I put this on another post's notes but I think this is too much of a banger to keep hidden
i HIGHLY doubt any of the residents have anyone searching for them, with only a few exceptions. My reasons's being:
-The Brazilians' and the Frenchs' boat/plane are probably completely untrackable and none of them have actually communicated with the outside world since they went missing. Even if the French Daft Punk were heading to a concert, the logical conclusion people would come to is that they sinked/crashed and died, wich in that case it would be (and it is) impossible to find them. se pá os br já viraram tópico do Você Sabia kjkkkkkk
-We know that q!Wilbur has been on tour this whole time he's been away, wich is way more time than he has spent on the island itself. Anyone who knew he was travelling to a tropical paradise island (for example the other Lovejoy members) probably just thinks everyone else who went in the train with him is just livin their best lives. And Quesadilla sland has some good advertisement videos (thanks Pol) there's no way they're suspecting he just went to Kidnapping Island
-Besides, as unorganized as we have learned the Federation is, there's no way they would make the blunder of snatching people who HAVE/HAD anyone close like who would go out of their way to look for them. Like some OPQ type shit, where they specifically took people who don't have close family/significant others.
The only ones who I think possibly could be looked into are Bagi: we know she was a police officer at some point, so at least her coworkers might be worried. Forever: Brunim is still out there and I doubt he'd just accept that Forever just fucking Died in the middle of nowhere with no explanation until he found his dead body. Pretty much anyone on Jail squad tbh, but again I doubt they would have been on that prision if the threat of someone going after them was a possiblity, although we know jack shit about their pasts (besides Mouse being The Actual Devil from Bible) so maybe?? and AyPierre, who we know has had friends outside of the island who we know they were being spied on by the Federation before AyPierre (the other french content creators in that video in hs computer)
I don't know every character's specific lore so please correct me on anything and feel free to add to this pokst, I love having these discussions and hearing other people's persective on Lore we might never get the answers for, so.
#this is very rambly my bad#i had to get these thopughts out cuz they've been brewing since i started watching really#qsmp#qsmp theory#qsmp theorizing
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Remember the DSMP/MCYT citizen memes? I think we should make ones like those again but it’s just memes predicting what we’ll be posting about as a fandom or as ex-fandom members in like a decade from now. Here are my first contenders:
• Not my coworker asking if I saw who the new Vice Presidential frontrunner is and me looking it up to see that it’s fucking ConnorEatsPants HELP 💀💀💀
• “Living life peacefully. Remembering BadBoyHalo has 4 kids now” jumpscare meme.
• Has anyone else seen that trending law firm ad for Quackity’s new practice? Crazy that he got Mr. Beast in there, I thought he hadn’t left the bunker for 3 years? Or did they film it in the Beast™️ Underground Content Room?
• Tubbo: “Tommy it’s time for the 48th origins SMP reboot”
Tommy: “Yes honey”
• LOVEJOY AT THE MET GALA THIS YEAR?????
• Guys! I’m eating my apocalypse rations and I think Michael McChill was just behind me in line. I couldn’t really tell because of all the smog but it sounded like him,,, small world I guess. If I see him again I’ll start humming Mamma Mia to find out
• If I had a nickle for every time a former DSMP member won a Nobel Prize, I’d only have 2 nickles but it’s weird that it happened twice
• Anyone remember when Hasan started that IRL gardening stream trend? And then Karl started showing up on HGTV landscaping shows? That was a weirdly entertaining spring.
• the jerma-jack manifold collab channel is pretty strange tbh but it’s funnier than i thought it’d be
#dream smp#dsmp#mcyt#dsmpblr#mcytblr#tommyinnit#Tubbo#connoreatspants#quackity#Jack manifold#michael mcchill#badboyhalo#I’m glad of the characterization I’ve got here I feel like it’s accurate#mango speaks sometimes
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! welcome to my blog !
greetings! i go by both nash and ashara, and i run this blog! i'm a multi-media creator, who ranges from writing, drawing, and crafting. a lot of people know me for hosting the dream tournament alongside others in the future.
i have an unset post schedule and mostly just reblog, but you'll see me posting original content every now and then!
click on keep reading to know more about me :]
~ ABOUT ME ~
i'm a creator of which specializes in the UTAU community and various neil gaiman universes. you can find a brief description of me under my tag on my blog page, but here i am in detail!
~ my name is nash/ashara.
~ i'm enby and go by they/them pronouns!
~ i'm a proud puertorican and speak both spanish and english.
~ my time zone is EST [Eastern Standard Time].
~ a proud shattered dream supremacist and self-declared his ultimate fan <3
~ i have various otps, my main few being shink/dark drink [shattered x ink], bleam/dreamberry [dream x blue/swap], the ineffable husbands, dreamling [morpheus x hob], and kross [killer x cross]
~ i love all alternative genres and rock! i've been binging fall out boy recently :]
~ i have a bit of an addiction to hot chocolate and sweet tea.
~ i'm an infp! my dominant function is introverted feeling. [Fi]
~ once you get me hooked onto something, you will not know how to get me to shut up.
~ i try to keep my asks open, but if they get out of hand anons will be turned off and/or i'll just close them completely.
what are my tags?
i typically do not check my tags, but anything i post and/or affiliate myself with you'll find under the tag of my username [#nashdoesstuff] or #nash's shenanigans [this tag is used for my original posts.]
i also have my fandom tags!
↳ #nash's ineffable obsession is my good omens tag! [check #good omens, as well]
↳ #nash's spiderverse addiction is my spiderverse tag!
↳ #nash's tremendous tunes is my music tag for anything music related, including artists [like gorillaz, lovejoy, tally hall, etc], musical theatre and more!
↳ my utau tag is #utmv stuffs!
↳ my doctor who tag is #nash’s time in the tardis!
for any friend or mutual interactions, look for #friend!! or #mutual!!
if there is any content you want me to see, tag me! [@nashdoesstuff]
do you have any more blogs?
i have my swap!cult au ask blog, @swap-cult-au! for any info on that au or asks for its characters and/or story, head there.
i also have an account explicitly for tournaments. this account is @nashdoestournaments. feel free to send asks about any of the tournaments i host there!
i have a roleplay blog for some of my characters, which is @nashs-au-rpblog. if you want to learn more about my ocs and characters, head here!
do you have any characters?
yes i do! i have vou, my shattered!dream variant and rêve, a positive guardian incarnate who’s apart of a universe me and my pal @/denieatsart share. i do have more characters of which i plan on publicizing in the future.
aside from characters, i have the primary fic series i’m working on called the doctor and his demonic companion, following a heartbroken crowley becoming the doctor’s companion. the opening fic is yet to be finished, but you can find it on my ao3!
what about the dream tournament?
the dream tournament is an annual event i host. it is a recreational bracket made to determine the best utau dream au of that year. the original one was hosted on this account, but now it had transferred to my tournament account. i answer asks about the original tournament on this account, but otherwise everything goes to the other account.
if you are looking for brackets and results on the first polls, refer to the announcement post.
if you are looking for content on the original DT, refer to the Dream Tournament Masterpost, which contains all fan-made content for the event.
you can also search the tag #dream tournament to find all content made for the tournament over time!
do you have a discord server?
though i don't have a personal server, i do moderate [with the help of @/consumeroflemoans] a small utmv roleplaying server that's free for all to join! the join invite is right here if interested <3
here are my fandoms!
~ undertale mv [utmv]
~ good omens
~ doctor who
~ david tennant in general
~ our flag means death
~ the sandman
~ my ocs?
other fandoms i like [inactive but enjoy]
~ ddlc
~ gorillaz
~ the spiderverse
~ avatar: the last airbender [atla]
~ mbti [myers-briggs]
~ harry potter
~ musicals like hamilton, heathers, six, bettlejuice, dear evan hansen, mean girls, etc.
i usually don't associate myself with anything aside from what's listed here. please don't request content from me that are from unlisted fandoms.
thanks for slipping by, and enjoy your stay on this chaotic side of tumblr called nash's blog!
last updated 4/24/24
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Where have I been?
Not entirely sure who'll care what I have to say, but I'm gonna say it anyways just like with the Skydoesminecraft situation. I will not be writing for Minecraft youtubers anymore, save for the Hermitcraft community. They seem to be the only ones that I watch that are consistently good creators. Unfortunately, I will not be writing for anything dsmp related, even though I'd stopped a while ago. Trying to write any of the remaining ideas I had concerning Techno is just too painful still, and I don't know if it'll ever stop being painful. And with the allegations that came out against Wilbur and most recently George, I don't feel comfortable engaging with their content/the streamers who are still friends with them. This extends to all of the "dream team" and the band Lovejoy, seeing as they have yet to make a public statement, at least that I'd seen.
All that said, what will my content look like seeing as I haven't posted in at least a year? Well, there's going to be some changes. I've grown out of fandoms, and into new ones in the last year. I got really into the Modern Warfare series and Call of Duty: Ghosts throughout last year, so some of those guys and girls might make an appearance on my page occasionally. Hermitcraft might also make an appearance, with the fics being in the same style as the other hermit fic I'd posted. Outside of that, I can't give an exact list anymore because I haven't felt truly interested in anything. I'd lost the ability to enjoy all the things I used to enjoy as I got further into my depression, and it all culminated in my making a few drastic changes in May of last year. I left my job and got a better paying one working overnights because I would cry going home at just how awful my days were and how poorly treated I'd been for the 4 years I worked there. I made a bunch of new friends online and got into some niche internet drama outside of Tumblr that I might share my side of in the next few months- not to drag up old fights, but to warn people who might be thinking of or currently watch a certain TikTok creator. I'm about to DM my first D&D campaign with some of my new friends and I'm very excited about it because I've spent more than 7 months planning and creating it.
But most importantly, in my time away I realized a lot. I've been dealing with major writers block for more than a year because every time I tried to write I compared myself to the other writers I follow on here. Specifically in the modern warfare community. I had so many ideas for fics, but every time I sat down to write them they wouldn't come out as good as I wanted them, or it wasn't up to the standard that I was trying to meet because I thought that no one would read it if I didn't meet that. Even now, just venting, I'm worried about how many likes and how much engagement this post will get and that's such an awful mentality to have. I used to love writing, and I still do. But I've learned to accept that it's okay to be at a different level of writing than the others on here, and that I shouldn't stop just because my characterization sucks or sometimes the plot is a little rocky. I shouldn't be worried about all of that, because writing fanfiction started as me writing for myself. It all started, way back when I was a young teenager, making a Wattpad account and writing my first fic, which I believe was a purge fanfiction with Skydoesminecraft and the rest of Sky Media. I'm 21 now, and I can definitely say I've improved, but I'm tired of trying to base my improvement on how good everyone else is. I'm tired of being depressed about how other writers make it look so easy to just have these great, cinematic moments in their fics with wonderful lines that stick with you after you finish reading them.
So, back to the question. What will my content look like? It'll look like whatever I want it to look like. I'm going to write for who I want, when I want. If that means posting 20 batman fanfics in a row, and then making a complete 180 to Hermitcraft or Criminal Minds or even House, then so be it. But I'm going to be doing it for me, and not for how many likes and followers a particular character or fandom will get me.
If you read all this, thank you. I really do appreciate everyone who's ever engaged with my stuff on this site, it truly does mean the world to me.
(Also, quick aside. If you're from the HermitCraft fandom and you write weird nsfw with them, for the love of god block me now. I saw a fic where Grian rapes Docm, and I'm never going to be able to unsee it thanks to it not being tagged right. They are all real, grown people with families. What the fuck.)
#dream smp#dream team#lovejoy#wilbur soot#wilbur situation#mcyt#hermitcraft#fanfic#georgenotfound#dreamwastaken#sapnap#skydoesminecraft#lizzy rambles#lizzy writes
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Finally crying over wilbur soot, and I guess that's progress
For those that haven't followed my random untagged text posts, because there's like a thousand of them why would you, wilbur is one of the biggest influences on my life. He's connected, unintentionally, to so many of my very few happy memories of my developmental years and that USED to be a point of pride. My favorite youtube video from my favorite youtuber, one of the only people who could really make me laugh, was a collab with soothouse where wilbur was at the forefront. I remember the nice guy ballad and Karen please come back from middle school, which is a feat when your brain has repressed so many memories!!!!
His jubilee line series/ album was a focus for me on my trip to England to see family, and was the song playing when I realized I was content for the first time after six long years of violent depression where I wanted to kill myself at least weekly, where I was convinced I would be dead by a certain (young) age. Countless other memories. And he's one straw away from the final fucking straw, of so many of my happy moments being discredited and ruined. I wanted to listen to muffin, so I did, and ynb popped up. I tried the first six seconds and I couldn't, it made me want to throw up. The fucking betrayal I felt, when I vividly remember the feeling of community and belonging from the premiere, the bright day, the ache in my back from sitting on the floor next to my computer. I felt so full, and it feels like he really fucking emptied that out of me. First it was the reddit group in 2018s disbandment, then it was kwite and the stupid quick action, then it was dream ruining the dream smp, and now it's wilbur spanning nearly eight whole years of sparse memories. If quackity turns out to be violent, or manipulative, or shitty, I don't know what I'll do. I really don't.
It's not even the fact that he's abusive, because if I couldve avoided him and his music, if I knew, it would be different. it's the fact that he lied. He lied to all of us, to me. He pretended to be a good person. Wilbur soot lied to us, to me, as being a safe channel and a good fucking person. Why couldn't he just be honest? Why did he have to throw it in our fucking faces? I will never be able to relive or remind myself of the FIRST moment I was ever content with life after SIX years of terrible everyday, weekly bullying, of summers spent without showers and crying in my bed at four am, of so little sleep that I ended up waking at six pm every day without that song. Yes it's selfish, but this is my blog and frankly I think I'm allowed to be upset about this fucking third violation of trust in a year.
It's everyone, it's skydoesminecraft, it's aphmau, lionmaker, it's every creator I've ever dared to find enjoyment in and it sucks!!!!!! It just sucks!!!!!!!!!! And it hurts, and it's hard, I just fucking hate it and I hate him and I kind of want him to die, not really, but kind of because how dare you. How dare you taint so much of me. How dare you. How dare you How dare you How dare you. How dare you hurt someone like that. How dare you lie about it. How dare you pretend at being safe. How dare you.
Shelby didn't deserve that. She really didn't. We didn't deserve lies. We really didn't. No one deserved anything. I was so, so excited about lovejoy concerts, not because of lovejoy but because of WILBUR and what he represented to young me. The lovejoy pins. The songwriting. The inspiration. The joy, the laughter. Videos with technoblade, videos that had wilbur, ( the liar, the creep, the abuser) in them. Techno meant, means everything to me. He's tainted that too. And I'm so fucking mad, and I want to scream, and I hate this man I really do. Why did you have to do it? Why couldn't I have your songs off in my memories? Why couldn't I have never known you? Because YOU lied, and YOU hurt people. And that's the situation of so many of us right now, and i hate this stupid fucking loser so much because of it. Get kicked in the shins and knock your knee out, and have it be a reminder that you chose to be THIS fucking asshole the rest of your life.
With the most viscious voice I can muster, @sootings FUCK you
#tw vent#tw suicide#tw depression mention#do NOT go in here unless you want to hear my sad evil little thoughts because i just cried for half an hour
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My list of: The fanfics ever (fandom mix)
Not organised in any particular order.
All on ao3 (shoves ff.net fics back into the closet).
Doing most of this by memory, sorry if I get anything wrong!(It got very late whilst I was making this so I probably missed a lot) Remember to check tags and chapter notes for content warnings. Enjoy!(pls rec me fics if you like these I need more)
Merlin
Next to You(It's the Rule) by LunaMyLove
A 5+1 fic Centred around the idea of Merlin being treated like the queen by everyone in Camelot, (and the rest of Albion). Lots of shenaniganry and laughs, generally pretty light hearted.
Lot’s of laughs, I love these vibes.
Court Sorcerer Merlin, Lancelot lives, good Mordred, eventual Morgana redemption.
Ships: Merthur, Gwencelot
Status: Complete
Interperspective by SnufflesThePig
Reaction fic!!! Arthur, the knights(- Mordred), Hunith, Gaius, Gwen, Morgana and Merlin are trapped in a cave by magic to watch the show, + some extra original scenes.
Author will never stop waxing poetic about Colin Morgan, and I will not ask them too.
Lancelot lives, eventual Morgana redemption, Magic reveal, Scar reveal, Arthur glasses, art.
Ships: Merthur, Morgwen
Status: Updated 19-08-22
Harry Potter
Time to take a chance by Bookworms75
Reaction fic!! Set in GoF before the champions are chosen, the entirety of hogwarts (+extras) get the chance to read books from the future.
Gotta love some incompetent adults, with a side of ✨feelings✨
Dursley abuse revealed, books affect the mc, parseltongue Harry, protective golden trio.
Ships: n/a
Status: Updated 05-02-21
Minecraft
Tommyinnit 3 ends and 2 beginnings by 47bats
Another Reaction fic! (you seein a pattern yet?) Most of the dsmp get pulled into a theatre by Drista a few weeks after Tommy’s death in the prison, to watch the server’s history through the youngest member’s eyes.
Made me feel many emotions.
author is a Tommy apologist, suicidal Tommy, protective Ranboo, protective Puffy, protective fiancés, abusive Pogtopia!Wil, family!sbi, exile revealed, Jackmanifold apology
Ships: n/a
Status: Autor took it down, anon account posted a copy. incomplete.
Ours poetica by zeeskeit
Highschool au Tommy is in high school, he is also, unbeknownst to his family, a poet in a slam poetry team
One of many fics that have succesfully made me cry
neglective!sbi, family!sbi, protective benchtrio, protective Puffy and Sam, big brother dream.
Ships: n/a
Status: Updated 02-09-22
A wilderness you kind of miss by Drhair76
IRL Magic Benchtrio! Real life setting with magic!! bench trio are the sun, earth and moon and they are soulmates.
This author has made me cry many times they are sooo talented.
Protective benchtrio, protective Wilbur, wind goddess, lovejoy!, inhuman!Ash lovejoy.
Ships: n/a
Status: Series; 9, incomplete
from ice to water by Drhair76 and plantform
Winter Olympics! au Figure skater Tommy with a shitty coach gets adopted by a bunch of ice hockey players and some snowboarders, +his healing arc afterwards.
Made me sob, many times, I love every part of this au I could sing it’s praises forever they included so many characters, and all of them are amazing.
Protective pretty much everyone, healing arc, asthmatic Tommy
Ships: n/a
Status: Series; 11, incomplete
Human error by teeth_eater
Space/aliens au Tommy is a human in space and he ends up on the sbi ship and they +Tubbo become a family breaking all of the space laws.
Really creative and sweet, with a side of angst. Also the details of all the alien species is so cool
Found family, eventual Ranboo, 5+1, space culture!!
Ships: n/a
Status: Series; 12, incomplete
My Hero Academia
Reconcile by whatagoodegg
Shigaraki and Midoriya! trapped together. I love this duo so much, they have so much potential, and them scheming and causing chaos is amazing.
VERY TIRED ERASERHEAD, ALSO VERY BAD AFO, Mido bending reality casually, ofa reveal(i think)
Ships: n/a
Status: Complete, sequel on the way.
Paint me in trust by dinomight
SOULMATES(NON ROMANTIC) People who love you leave a coloured mark on your skin on first contact!! Starts off very sad, but ends very sweat. Overall adorable one-shot
Ships: n/a
Status: complete
Throw a chair through a window and call it a day by jaded_ghoster
PRINCIPLE ERASERHEAD WITH ASSISTANT IZUKU I love this fic, it’s pure chaos the whole way through Nezu leaves for a week on business, Aizawa and Midoriya are left to rule the school as they see fit whilst he’s away.
Terrifying midoriya, notebooks galore, discrimination acknowledgment
Ships: n/a
Status: Complete, sequel in progress
Area cryptid upset no-one bothered to inform him of his tragic backstory by crimsonseekers
Amnesiac Dabi
Possibly one of my fav fics of all time just for how unaware the lov is of the destruction they are causing, poor hawks is along for the ride and suffering for it. Dabi doesn’t know who he is, the lov is determined to figure it out.
HPSC exposed, unintentional vigilante lov, todoroki family chaos
Ships: DabiHawks
Status: Complete
I am their emotional support dad and my demands are by Otaku6337
DADZAWA
Literally just Aizawa getting his students therapy and the trauma support accommodations they need. Really short and sweet, with chaos vibes
DADZAWA ALERT
Ships: n/a
Status: Complete
Izuku's project by redanick
Endeavor gets rekt, statistics style
Izuku get’s very sleep deprived and puts together a monster document of all the reasons endeawhore is a bitch without exposing the abuse and then ruins this man. I live for endeavor getting rekt by protective mido.
everyone is scared of the bush and RIGHTFULLY SO
Ships: n/a
Status: Complete
Lifeline by SilvermistAnimeLover
Kidzuku kidnapped
12yo Mido gets kidnapped but they miss his phone so he stays on call with Detective Tsukauchi, Eraserhead and Mic the whole time, til they rescue him.
Smart mido, kind of inventor midoriya, protective adults
Ships: Erasermic
Status: Complete
Paper Agency by The Feels Whale (miscellea)
Never went to UA Midoriya+ Hero course graduate Shinsou
Shindeku, quirkless Midoriya and parental erasermic.
Need I say more?
Ships: Shindeku, EraserMic
Status: Complete
Apex predator by silver jackdaw (cizzi)
SUPER GENIUS MIDO
So much happens in this fic it’s hard to describe. Early shindeku friendship, Endeavor/Mineta/HPSC/Aldera exposed, Bakugo redemption, big brother Touya Todoroki, adoptive dad all might, kind of nice Sir Nighteye, deku/momo friendship, lov redemption /rehabilitation.
Ships: DabiHawks, Miruko/Fuyumi, TodoDeku, Tsuchako, Erasermic, Rei/Compress
Status: Updated 03-01-21
The Magicians
take the pieces and build them skywards by alasse
Hedge witches Q and Julia
Q gets memory wiped but Julia reminds him of magic and the open their own hedge coven together.
Ships: Queliot
Status: Complete
The Umbrella Academy
Where the lonely make the lonely feel less lonely by grumpyhedgehogs
Pre canon fix-it
Viktor becomes a local super hero through the power of empathy and reconnects with all their siblings years before the apocalypse.
apocolypse prevented, shitty sir hargreeves, early power reveal, eventual 5, siblings living together
PRE VIKTOR’S TRANSITION
Ships: n/a
Status: Complete
Make me your bomb by Uniasus
Post season 3
Viktor is forcefully given his powers back by the creator of the universe in the hargreeves universe for the purpose of causing the apocalypse.
Universal reset, Allison bashing, Hargreeves sibling shenaniganry
Ships: Klave, Sloane/Luther, Liego, Viktor/Sissy
Status: Complete
Tethered mind free from the lies by meliebee
Deaf!Viktor
Time travel prevents the season 1 apocalypse, Viktor goes deaf and starts their life over in a new apartment away from their siblings.
Viktor’s healing arc, eventually Klaus’ as well, consequences being dealt with, eventual communication.
PRE VIKTOR’S TRANSITION
Ships: Viktor/fem!oc
Status: Complete
Might add more to this as I remember things (lemme know if I need to change the tags, or if I’ve made a horrible mistake somewher)
#fic rec#tua netflix#tua fanfic#hamilton fanfiction#assassination classroom#lis fanfic#life is strange#knb fanfic#the magicians#mha fanfiction#hp fanfic#merlin fanfic#mcyt fanfiction
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( Day Three )
{ Written on October 22, 2023 - 6:55 AM / Posted on October 23, 2023 - 3:24 PM }
[ Nemo’s Headphones: Call Me What You Like - Lovejoy ]
“Moth To A Flame”
-
I don’t know if I trust anyone enough to love them.
Not in the way I wish I could.
I feel the spark in my chest and I wonder how long it will take until I feel sick seeing your face.
I feel like nothing matters until I get to speak to you, and yet when we speak I feel ill, like maybe I am falling apart.
A part of me I wish to bury alive grows dizzy when I wish that you would tell me you cared about me.
Why do I want that?
I would never give you anything that could matter.
I could never be what you want, nor you for me.
Not like I even know what I want.
Why do I want to pull my chest open and pull out my still beating heart, just to ask it why it bothers to cause me such pain?
I will not give my heart to you, not yet at least, if ever at all.
I fear the moment I do I will regret it.
If I extend a hand to you, will you take it and hold me gently?
Or would you dig your nails in when I try and pull away?
Maybe I’m fine with that.
Maybe I want to feel that pain, maybe i want to see the bleeding red lines scored down my arms as I’ve wrenched myself from your grip.
I don’t know what comes next, but I know no matter what happens I will one day look back at what I have written here and feel some form of disgust.
Whether that be disgust at myself for wasting my time on this, or disgust at myself for feeling this way and believing the worst.
Or maybe just disgust that I felt anything like this at all, especially that I wrote something about it.
Doesn’t that make it real?
I cannot sleep because I feel wrong when I cannot speak to you.
The horrible dread I once had to chase away every night to rest is nowhere to be found, only thoughts of you.
But something so sweet only serves to make me sick, and I know such a good thing cannot possibly last.
There’s always a catch.
Always something wrong.
Maybe it’s you, maybe me.
It doesn’t really matter anyway.
I feel sick without you, and some moments when I speak to you I wish to curse myself for ever doubting you or anything about you.
But other moments I speak to you and I wonder what is truly going on in my head to really have thought this could possibly end well.
I know this is a bad idea.
Every rational part of my mind tells me the best thing I could do for myself is turn tail and run.
Whatever this is, whatever thing we seem to have, it’s a fire.
I hold it in my palms even though I know I am not meant to burn.
I worry it will eat me alive.
I also worry I am just overreacting, and maybe everything will be just fine.
But something felt off from the start.
And every time I brush this feeling off my shoulders I find a reason for it to creep back in again, and I wonder.
Am I really overreacting, or am I just seeing warning signs and then choosing not to look at them?
I don’t know what this future holds.
I do, however, wonder why I am so content letting myself continue down a path I know will only land me in pain.
I’m not sure.
I hope I’m just overreacting.
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I posted 14,449 times in 2022
That's 10,343 more posts than 2021!
198 posts created (1%)
14,251 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@wall-e-gorl
@petallswildsurge
@cronchy-dumbass
@ajfurb-e
@tempesthreads
I tagged 829 of my posts in 2022
#unprepared casters - 299 posts
#unprepared casters fic - 86 posts
#the glacerian trail - 55 posts
#unprepared casters spoilers - 39 posts
#critical role - 36 posts
#unprepared casters arc 6 - 30 posts
#unprepared casters art - 28 posts
#orb is life - 27 posts
#flufftober - 26 posts
#wizards off the coast - 26 posts
Longest Tag: 133 characters
#they got like zero veiws and normally i try not to care too much about that but i really liked how they turned out and it made me sad
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Okay I'm like obsessed with the concept of adventuring license and I have so many question
can anyone get an adventuring license? Is this like a first aid situation were there's multiple different places to get one or is the Arcane Academy the only place that offers it?
Are wizards the only class able to get their license? Or are there like clinics for each class?
What are the benefits of getting your adventuring license? Are there health benefits? Support groups? Does it help when you eventually get put in jail?
could a melee fighter take a level in wizard in order to obtain their license?
Does this ever expire? Do you have to do recertification every 3 years or something?
Were any of the others PCs in arc 3 certified or was Annie just traveling with an uncertified party?
48 notes - Posted May 9, 2022
#4
Thinking about how the Lovejoy-Hatebad feud started because the Lovejoys caused the death of Beryl's family
Thinking about how Penny's whole goal for the death ceremony was to get her mom home by any means necessary
Thinking about how this feud started because of love and is going to keep going because of love
50 notes - Posted July 11, 2022
#3
Dnd character Idea
a pair of oathbreaker paladins. What was the oath they broke you ask? Marriage vows
89 notes - Posted January 31, 2022
#2
Okay so, I've been listening to Lilli Furfaro's song about Vax'ildan since it came out (side note, go listening to Tethering it's so good) and I have thoughts
So one thing Lilli's really good at with her songs is matching not just the lyrics, but also the style to the character. Tethering has such a solid rhythmic scheme, ABCB basically the whole way, so it has this feeling of content motion, with is so true to how Vax functioned as a character. And then at the end, the last verse is missing a line and you're just left sitting there for the last 20 seconds or so just absorbing it all, just sitting with it and coming somewhat to terms with the idea of that being the end.
Another thing I'm also thinking about is how different this is from Molly's song. Both of these songs are about a character who dies, and I love the way Lilli illustrates how different though two deaths were.
Vax's song ends missing a line of lyrics, but she still finished the verse with her guitar. It's not the ending we want but you still get some closure to it. Molly's song just ends, with little warning, which is so true to how his death in the campaign was.
Anyway, Lilli Furfaro is very good at what she does and you should go listen to her music. That's all
93 notes - Posted February 26, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
So one thing I was noticing during this batch of episodes was Scanlan's facial expressions. Specifically whenever the others write him off. He just looks so sad but also angry at the same time.
It's so subtle but it's there and it just makes me sad because what I know what's coming and it hurts.
Be nice to your gnome Vox Machina!
182 notes - Posted February 3, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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first anon in the "future talk" tag here (yes, i am still around haha) and wow, did my predictions hold up. it might be because i was here when MCYT originally went downhill in 2016-2017 too.
the dream smp is definitely dying. the most i could see is a small group banding together for one specific storyline (quackity, wilbur, tubbo, tommy, dream, etcetera) to wrap up, and maybe turn it into a "ooo maybe we'll do lore every once in a while as an epilogue oooo!" thing after an official "conclusion," but other than that.... yeah, it's dead
i agree with all of the "fandom won't die out takes." most of my friends have moved on from it, but they all still have some semblance of attachment and do still make content. i think after it "ends," theres going to be a few months where it's still sort-of big, and the ao3 tags are still gonna be flooded with 14-year-old's vent fics, then it'll die off and a few prominent artists, accounts, and fic authors will reign (mainly on tumblr, as twitter seems to have a much shorter attention span). i'll probably write another fic or two on c!wilbur and c!tommy myself (i'm actually the author of "i can't stand your taste in my mouth," aka @.midastwt on ao3) before wrapping up unless i get a very good idea
if you want my opinion on where the creators are gonna go after this? most of them are gonna branch off to variety or an offline gig (such as tommy with vlogging, tubbo/ranboo variety streams, wilbur music, etcetera) while doing minecraft from time to time. i don't think any of them will up and abandon it, they seem to enjoy it too much. i think the longer-term and older mcyters (technoblade, skeppy, badboyhalo, hbomb, philza, etcetera) are going to stick what they've always done, and stay with minecraft mainly
the people i see struggling will be dream, sapnap, and george. i think sapnap has the most potential to hold a "variety streamer" position, but his popularity's gonna die out (similar with karl). george is.... george, but i think his fanbase is a lot more loyal and dedicated
while dream has a huge fanbase, he also has, allegedly, nothing planned next. he barely streams, least of all what his brand was made of, he barely uploads videos, his music is mediocre at best and is disliked by the wider music scene and basically just kept up by his fans, he has the most controversy, and the wider minecraft scene seems to be getting more and more pissed off at him by the day
we're most likely to see a lot of mcyt content settle back down into mainly small streamers and smps hosted by professionals and veterans of the community. hermitcraft will keep going, the people associated will make other smps and get others involved, and things will return to normal for the community, just slightly bigger
2022-2023, in my mind, are going to be at 2019-scale or smaller (considerably bigger than 2017-2018, with a few big popular creators, but nothing too much). and there's probably gonna be a new revival soon after that, as the kids who grew up with dream and tommyinnit and technoblade rekindle their love of minecraft, and go back to it, and then the cycle will continue
smart anon I am so sorry for requesting ur wisdom then not answering it for like a month <3
anyway I think most of this is very correct, here are my assorted thoughts on the matter:
big agree on the dsmp. still afraid to officially declare it dead because they have fooled me before, but yeah. I would like to see them at least get a proper ending off though
big Big agree on most old school mcyt staying the same, and with new mcyt finding variety niches. I think tubbo def has a place in the larger twitch community where I don't see ranboo's fame sticking as much long term tbh.
I don't think wilbur is abandoning twitch anytime soon, but you can def see that he is finding that success outside of content creation platforms with Lovejoy. his ability to retain such a solid and large audience even post dsmp hype, along with the more patient and loyal fanbase he's garnered, is going to serve him really well as an indie artist. he's one of the only streamers who's maintained the majority of his growth during the dsmp, and his infrequent but just frequent enough stream schedule and new music hype is only helping to foster that. good job wilbur!
plus, given his track record of finding fame where you least expect it, I doubt he's going anywhere fast
tommy is very interesting to me. already you can see vlogs and the hype around them dying down, although this is definitely partially due to colder weather, but they aren't pulling the blockbuster views they did before as people adjust to it just being a normal thing for creators to vlog together. I'd love to see him sink his teeth into another solid project like the mod videos or his dsmp writing, bc he 100% has the strengths to keep his audience with around, but rn he's bleeding interest
I think most sbi and dteam adjacent streamers are going to settle back down into <10k or probably <5k viewerships, and those smart enough to stick to their brand and provide consistent content will remain on the scene. niki immediately strikes me as someone who has garnered quite a loyal and retainable fanbase by not adhering to trends or collabs with big ccs, where as jack.. not so much (not that I don't love him tho <3)
big agree with the dteam stuff
last thing is that I don't think it's going to shrink quite to 2019 size simply because of just how much larger the audience pool is, but I see the fan climate becoming much more similar
anyway friendly reminder I love all of these ccs and think they are all much cooler and more talented than me. I could not do their jobs half as well, I just like speculating.
#critical#dream critical#not rly but for blacklist#future talk#also send asks abt this if u want smile#this is my fav topic#but be nice pls
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It’s 2022 for me now, and everyone seems to be doing sappy posts appreciating people, so I want to do so too! Happy New Year everyone!!!!
@inkedmyths ink you’re the only non-mcyt friend/mutual on this list but you are such a cool person whom I appreciate a lot! Your art is so cool and I really appreciate your passion for your interests, and the fact that we share so many interests, mostly by chance!
@maybewren callum you are such a wonderful co-mod and friend, and I hope we can develop even more as friends in this next year of 2022! You go through so much but I want you to know that you are an awesome person, who deserves the world!
@geoguessbur mia geoguessbur my beloved! <3 you are such a wonderful and lovely person, and I am always delighted to see you, whether that be occasionally in chat or anytime you post. You are an awesome update mod and an enrichment to us all! I wish you lots of Lovejoy and Wilbur content, and that everything goes well with your new apartment and move! I also hope that you can find an amazing girlfriend, you deserve one <3
@angeloncewas my beloved angel!! You are such a great person to talk to and discuss with. I don’t do so often, but it is always incredibly interesting to read your insights into discussions that are brought to you! You are such an amazingly positive person and I wish you a happy time simping for Dream (/j)
@tittyblade Rolan!!! My beloved Lesbian Robert Downey Junior!! If this were twitch chat I’d be yelling at you, but alas, no emotes on tumblr. You are such a nice and funny person and I wish many friendly cats upon you.
@technobladeisgreat my beloved arah <3 you are always so incredibly nice to me and I love just chatting about techno and whatever else interests us! I wish you lots of love and joel content.
@rev-pirate rev!!! You are so knowledgeable in Techno facts and such a cool dude!! I really enjoy hearing your insights into Techno and his history and you seem like such a nice dude! I hope you don’t have to miss a single Techno stream this year!!
@technoplane goat! :] I love hearing about your interests! I’m always fascinated when you start talking about Skyblock and Minecraft lore and all other interests you have and it’s always a delight when you post art!! I hope you have a great year and that things work out for as best they can.
@maple-maps Maps!! King!! My beloved!! *Gives you a hug and a pat on the head.* You are so lovely and I am delighted every time i see you in the notes. You have such a gorgeous artstyle and I am always in awe whenever you post your art! I wish you a wonderful 2022 and that you find joy in whatever you do!
@tokkytikky Tokky I adore your art, you have genuinely one of my favourite Techno designs, if not my favourite! Also your crow chat designs give me life, they are such cute and round little blobs with eyes!! I wish you lots of inspiration and that you can always do whatever you’re passionate about!
@queerbur-soot crimson! You have been such a lovely help occasionally with techno updates and I really appreciate it!! You also have some very lovely art, I adore your Technobunny!! I wish you nothing but the best!!
@froggxxam frog :] we haven’t been mutuals all that long but you seem like a really nice person!! Just wanted to send you some appreciation :D
And all my beloved friends in early gang and chill chat:
@penguinpal9000 @philza-fucking-minecraft @soitrash @skylerwolf128 @mmirandyy @soobrmooth @fandoms-are-for-always @articsnow @raiain (beloved traitor and artist <3) and everyone else who doesn’t have a tumblr KEKW. Lobe you all so mobe!! PEGS and Chill Chat mean so much to me, and I’ve had such a blast being there this year. I hope it’ll continue until the next new year!
I’ll probably get sappy in chat and in chill chat dc later, but this post is mostly for appreciating the mainly tumblr frens and mutuals!
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I was tagged by @callmeshei to talk about some albums I’ve been listening to! Most people have been doing 9 but I listen to playlists more than albums so I’ve got 6 to talk about :)
How to be a Human Being by Glass Animals: this one is the one I’ve currently got on repeat. The sound is very glass animals which I like, and it’s an interesting concept for an album! Each song features a different character’s story, many of which are based on strangers the band had brief encounters with while on tour. The story behind “Mama’s Gun” in particular is wild and makes the song that much more interesting. A bop from beginning to end, even if the line about mayonnaise takes me out of it every time.
Puberty 2 by Mitski: I love Mitski, she’s my favourite artist, and Puberty 2 is my favourite album. I found this album after seeing one of her posts on here from when she used to have a tumblr, it was her singing A Burning Hill and she mentioned writing it at 4am the night before. Anyway, I love the album itself and I’ve listened to it hundreds of times. The varied sound of the songs, from the rough and angry to the desperately sad as well as the relatable metaphors and beautiful wordplay all contribute to how amazing this album is. I thoroughly enjoy all of mitski’s albums but this one has a special place in my heart due to the memories I have from listening to it and it being my first exposure to her music.
Look Up by The Altogether: some fun and simple acoustic guitar, but this time featuring Brian David Gilbert. Not exactly a revolutionary album but I like listening to him sing, and “Sophie” is a particularly nice listen.
Punch by Autoheart: ohohoho Autoheart. There’s something about the flow of the songs and the way the lead’s voice vacillates that scratches my brain in exactly the right way. These are the kind of songs I could loop and stare at the ceiling and before I know it the day would be over. Especially the four absolute bangers in the middle of the album, “Lent,” “Moscow,” “The Sailor Song,” and “Hungover in the City of Dust.” How do they do it
Your City Gave Me Asthma by Wilbur Soot: I don’t have much to say on the actual contents of this album except that I swear I can hear a discord notif at 1:11ish every time I listen to “I’m sorry Boris.” I only listen to this album when I’m in a sad mood… so I do hear it quite frequently lol. It was very much a first quarantine anthem alongside puberty 2! For some reason about half the time that I do put it on I end up accidentally falling asleep which I’m not mad about, I could use a good nap every now and then, thank you Wilbur for the Sad Nap soundtrack tm
Pebble Brain by Lovejoy: honestly? I don’t think I’d like lovejoy’s music if I hadn’t already been into Wilbur’s. It’s quite generic except for the ending of The Fall, and I do like that section a lot. If I was asked for music recommendations, this album wouldn’t be on my list but i do like it so I have been listening to it.
tagging @shurareblog @journal-three @chronophobica @ginsalilbattery @thechildoftwilight @confusion-bunny and anyone else who sees this that wants to do it! I need more music to listen to
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HI HELLO WHAT'S UP? :))))))))) i'm the obnoxiously orange blogger they warned you about
name's Tigo, or Zig, you can also just call me Acacia i’d be honored to carry the name of the best minecraft wood ever (criticism is not tolerated)
this is my mcyt blog, i might post about variety content creators and their proyects every now and then (especially about genloss tehee), but my main fandoms are the qsmp and dsmp, i’m also watching hermitcraft and limited life but i dont post much about it
i’m an artist, even if i dont post art very often, this is my art tag: #my art 🐍 (warning, it might be very old art lmao)
and these are some other tags:
#cool art: mostly fanart
#fnnuy: memes and funny posts that i want to save
#streamers: ccs, i use this tag even if the ccs are youtubers because i’m not the best at organization
#qsmp / #qsmp liveblogging
#dsmp
#ramble ramble: text posts, mostly personal
If you want me to tag something so you can blacklist it just ask, i don't bite :) (seriously i won't get mad, i promise)
btw i didn't tag my posts as dsmp for a long time because cube guys was entirely dedicated to dsmp stuff, i will start tagging things as #dsmp, i dont like giving dream credit for the stories that happen to be told in his server though
if it wasnt clear enough, i dont like neither dream nor the dt and i might distance myself from certain ccs if they act all buddy buddy with him after everything.
Fuck Wilbur Soot, fuck off Wilbur and Lovejoy fans.
Orange wood.
acaciawoodloverz → trannyacaciawoodz → catboy-quackity
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