Hey uh suppose you were trying to explain the destiel mineshaft to an idiot.....how would you explain it?
alright well. going to make this archived for future destiel mineshaft historians. might as well. (also do not worry ur not an idiot and neither is anyone else that doesnt understand the context LOL it truly is something that just Broke Containment<3)
The Great 2023 Destiel Mineshaft Incident Thesis/Autopsy/Deepdive
On January 18th, 2023, at 4:04PM this post was made, and here we can cite the first instance of the use of 'destiel mines.' Not entirely a concept yet, just a phrase. But here is where it can be traced back to.
January 28th, 2023, at 11:45PM, thee "winchester derangement syndrome three meal course" groupchat is started by Ro (@destielgaysex) (Initially groupchat was under a different name but i fear divulging into the 'lore' of that would distract us from our point.) I digress;
This group consists of three tumblr bloggers:
-Ro (@destielgaysex)
-Zo (@marycentric)
-Cas/Dex (self, @castielsparkle)
Over the course of the following days they (myself, the author, included in this) continue to watch supernatural together in voice call channels in a discord server, "gay people," mentioned below.
Around 9:13PM, January 29th, 2023, voice chat is initiated.
Exact time is not confirmed.
(Unsure of exact time,) Zo (@marycentric) eventually joins the voice channel.
Some time before 1:48AM Cas (@castielsparkle) joins the voice channel.
1:48AM, January 30th, 2023, this post is made.
1:48AM, January 30th, 2023, original post is reblogged with this addition. It is important to note this addition was made in reference to the first "destiel mines" post on Jan. 18th, refer to link one in paragraph one (of thesis.)
By 1:50AM, January 30th, 2023, the first moments of primitive, conceptual worldbuilding has begun.
Containment arguably was breached at 1:48AM, January 30th, 2023, when the first post that began circulation of the night was made, then reblogged by Quin (@tchotchkedean) however, some could say true containment breach happened 1:56AM, January 30th, 2023, here.
1:57AM, January 30th, 2023, first mention of minesnipers and the 15k fics per shift (one shift ending come midnight) requirements.
1:58AM, January 30th, 2023, first mention of "the incident" (explosion and subsequent collapse of mines.)
1:59AM, January 30th, 2023, reiteration of minesnipers.
2:14AM, January 30th, 2023, President Collins is introduced. This is also the first reference of "lol whar? haha whar?" being put directly into an original "destiel mines" post. This is believed to be a reference to the post made by Al (@hoziercd) at 3:19AM on January 29th, 2023, which can be found here. (Note that this predates majority of "Destiel Mines" posting.)
2:15AM, January 30th, 2023, it's like mineshaft in here. First footage on-record of Destiel Mineshaft site.
2:17AM, January 30th, 2023, second account of further breach of containment, from Al (@hoziercd)
2:22AM, January 30th, 2023, third account of further containment breach, this time regarding Timothy @maybenextjuneillgettoloveyou. (Note further reference to "whar?"-posting.)
Sometime around but not specifically proven to be at 2:28AM, January 30th, 2023, ambience is playing in discord voice channel to make blogging more immersive and evoke more passionate emotions of Destiel Mineshaft simulation.
2:31AM, January 30th, 2023, we are informed of the Destiel Miner's wages. (And later informed their Christmas bonuses are "parallels," according to on-site source Zo (@marycentric.) However, this was later debated as refutable by other employees, upon other things.)
2:36AM, January 30th, 2023, anonymous ask is received by Ro (@destielgaysex) inquiring about Destiel Mineshaft.
2:40AM, January 30th, 2023, more containment breaching from Dean (@howldean.)
2:48AM, January 30th, 2023, 22 minute mark of mine ambience in voice channel reached.
By 3:16AM, January 30th, 2023, there were at least four other instances of containment breach. Records will remain private at this time.
3:20AM, January 30th, 2023, references to President "Omega Longarms" Collins are made, with photographic evidence to back up claims of "sightings." This reference goes further back to a redacted document taking place at 1:19AM in an omitted server (I do not have access to) in a channel I've been loosely informed is regarded as "#mishafucking."
3:28AM, January 30th, 2023, hour two of simulated mine ambience immersion begins.
3:32AM, January 30th, 2023, final record of original textpost-form containment breach, from Linh (@castielsboyfriend.)
Not listed: various posts regarding the status of the mines, accounts of which vary slightly, but that is to be expected in any traumatic group experience. Archives can be found on the prior blogs listed.
additional points;
-coining of the namesake 'winchester derangement syndrome three meal course' should be accredited to @induboistably .
-timestamps take place during EST.
Please feel free to direct message author (myself, @castielsparkle) with any further inquiry/to correct any information if necessary/provide further context. 💙
EDIT AS OF 12:53PM, JANUARY 30TH 2023; my apologies for the negligence of mentioning the Miners Rebellion of 2084.
This was brought to my attention by mineshaft veteran @tchotchkedean.
This refers to a series of events regarding the uprising of those employed by Big Destiel and by extension President "Omega Longarms" Collins. This had a ripple effect on the Destiel Mineshaft community. There are multiple firsthand accounts of the workers dodging bullets from minesnipers and trying to escape. This also includes the resulting actions of minesnipers guarding the retirement homes of the workers, in disguise.
Sources for these claims include, but are not limited to:
Source
Source
EDIT AS OF 1:01PM, JANUARY 30TH, 2023; it has been brought to my attention the name of the discord server (gay people) was mentioned in a message, this is a personal error, as i confused it's title with that of a voice channel. Revisions have been made to correct this error. Thank you @destielgaysex for bringing this to my attention.
EDIT AS OF 1:53PM, JANUARY 30TH, 2023; my apologies, in my haste to write the document i failed to mention Em (@heller-castiel) was among the mines as well. Thank you for your service!
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A happier galaxy where the disaster lineage is somewhat less on fire constantly and senior padawan Obi-wan has developed a fixation on Mandalorians:
Sometimes Feemor regretted just how much he had given away when he had spent 5 expensive months bribing a traumatised Obi-wan to call him brother when he was 14. His dignity, for one, his access codes and shadow cloaking techniques, another. So he had a very dignified reaction when he was awoken to the shine of his younger brother's eyes in the dark at the foot of his bed. "I wou-stop screaming it's just me-I would like a Mandalorian. How do I procure one?"
"How the fuck should I know?"
Obi-wan scowled as if Feemor was being difficult, he wasn't, he wasn't quite awake enough for that yet. "You're a shadow, you're supposed to know things."
Ah, if being a shadow granted you the secrets of the universe instead of just a great many planetary governments, Feemor wouldn't spend so much time wondering what dark rituals Dooku had committed to result in Qui-gon Jinn. (He already knew what regular rituals Qui-gon had committed to result in Obi-wan)
"I know that I'm about to punt you out of my room right now."
"...My birthday is coming up, I believe I deserve compensation for all the traumas."
Obi-wan's eyes were very big now. Feemor sighed. He flopped back down into bed. He resisted the urge to pull his blankets back up and roll over. 'Oh sure when it's time to see mind healers everything's fine but now-'
"Shouldn't you be asking Master then?"
"Master would not approve of how I plan to use the Mandalorian."
He squinted at Obi-wan for a long moment. Obi-wan stared back. He did some quick mental maths and tried not to feel old. Eh. Fine. Feemor swung his legs out of bed. "You had me at 'Master wouldn't approve'."
"Do you think I could get one by walking into little Keldabe and asking very nicely?"
As it turns out, yes he could. A few too many in fact, apparently Jedi, their ancestral enemy, in the Mando district attracted attention, who knew? Feemor knew, Feemor would have known if only he had been properly awake when this semblence of a plan was proposed. He stalked through the cantina towards Obi-wan who was leaning slightly forwards against a pillar, ah...speaking, to a Mandalorian with painted orange armour while surrounded by a larger crowd of Mandos. At least they seem mostly amused. He ignored the youngers squawk as he yanked the back of his robes so that he moved away from the Mandalorian and spun him around.
"You cannot solve centuries of animosity by batting your eyelashes."
"I'm not batting my eyelashes " Obi-wan sniffed," I'm shaking my ass, there's decidedly more effort involved."
"I miss when I was an only child." Feemor sighed deeply. He used the force to scruff the neck of Obi-wan's robes and dangle him slightly in the air. He ignored the shouting from beside him and bowed politely to the staring Mandos. "My apologies for the disturbance, this will not happ-" He considered his brother who was now yelling out his personal comm code with a wink. " Please excuse us, this very probably will happen again, we shall workshop it. May the force be with you all."
I don't have a fully planned AU but it is Codywan!!! cause I love those bitches but have some more dialogue I came up with for this AU. I'm imagining them both as like 20-23, Obi's close to knighthood. He's still a padawan for this because I think him causing Qui-gon headaches is funny. Feemor fully thinks this complicated courtship dance Obi's created is funny, he likes studying his little brother like a bug, he just wasn't prepared for him to just waltz into little kelbade and start hitting on people, though he really should have been.
Hand wavy timeline with Jaster alive but the clones are still clones, Jango was kidnapped and held in stasis or something, Jaster claimed them as Mandos. This is really just about Obi's first and biggest diplomatic achivement being friendly Jedi-Mando relations purely cause he was in his thot era. This also somehow saves the galaxy from the sith.
I like to imagine that Cody's brothers recorded that little exchange between Fee and Obi on their helmets and uploaded it online where it went viral on MandoNet before going viral galaxywide because wait holy shit is that a Jedi saying that????. Qui-gon gets called in for a very weird meeting where the council's like ok so the entire holonet has seen your padawan being horny on main but also this is like the biggest jump in our diplomatic relationship with the Mandos in centuries so like can we keep this up somehow? This results in Obi-wan being holonet famous, first through vode recordings but then he starts a space tumblr and twitter account and he's famous now. Then his friends and other jedi start accounts because wait we're allowed to do that? and those become big as well and this is literally the best PR the jedi have had in hundreds of years. the holonet loves them. the sith are fuming.
Obi-wan, scoffing: What were they gonna do? Shoot me?
Feemor: Yes.
Obi-wan: I don't believe in blasters.
Bly: ...like as a concept...?
Obi-wan: No, spiritually.
Obi-wan: I'm sure there's a nice Mandalorian we can find for you
Feemor: I'm not sure those 2 words belong together
Obi-wan: No of course not, we can't find a nice one, then they'd be all alone, we need to find an absolute bastard of one so that you two match :)
Obi-wan: Oh so Master gets to take in pathetic life forms but I don't? This one's already domesticated!
Wolffe: Debatable.
Feemor: Cody's a person! Not a stray tooka!
Obi-wan: Master takes in stray people all the time! That's how he got me!
Qui-gon: How do you explain this behaviour Padawan ?
Obi-wan: The force pushed me towards the Mandalorians Master, it was quite insistent on me developing better relations with them given our difficult history.
Feemor: Fascinating, please do elaborate, I'd love to hear the theological implications of a force-assigned kink.
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In honor of the @rw-ship-showdown I wanted to write about Artihunter as someone who jokingly slapped them together pre-downpour and still thinks they are actually very compelling. Just not in the super soft love wins kinda way (Although I get why people like that more)
And the only way I know how to do that is talking too much so heres a far too long slug essay-
Obviously the slugcats don't offer a ton of characterization but theres not nothing to work with. Their stories, whether by their roles in it or the overarching themes do provide a backbone to work with. Even gameplay itself can provide a bit. (for some more than others)
Hunter, to me, is ultimately a story about selflessness. The goal is to revive Moon, which is very much an act of kindness from both Hunter and NSH. But the weight of that action is much more significant for Hunter- Hunter is deeply sick. They're on the clock, and for all their skill in combat none of that will ultimately help them to survive longer than their body can hold out. Moon is a close friend of NSH but that means little Hunter- Hunter really gets next to nothing out of helping them, and ultimately pays quiet a bit spending their limited time alive fighting to deliver that neuron so that someone else can live.
To spend ones limited days on helping another, in a game that very much stresses the unwavering cruelty of the world and nature- is pretty notable. (And you could even say that Hunter being the Hardmode of Rain World adds another layer to this)
And then we have Artificer. A storyline that very much stands out to people as more… villainous (so to speak) than the other slugcats. Artificer's story covers a lot of things. Trauma, violence, revenge, etc. Revenge is a bit of a selfish desire- That need to see someone hurt as they have hurt you. A punishment that ultimately does not fix whatever harm was done- but feels good to see because you were hurt and now those responsible share that pain.
Artificer's actions are founded in that need for revenge, their pups killed for overstepping boundaries they didn't know existed. Is it not fair for them to be angry at that, to punish the scavengers for their violence with their own? Why should the scavengers ever be forgiven when they and their pups were not? And that's how you get that loop- Harm for harm over and over.
The original action has been lost in a spiral of violence for violence. And here stands Artificer- their very spirit scarred. Not just because they sought revenge, but because they never ceased trying to scratch that itch for violence as an answer. Artificer only has two paths for their story- killing the scavenger king (Someone who, really, has little to do with the original 'crime' of the scavengers, but represents an important individual to them- as did the slugpups to Artificer), locking themselves as karma one for good and spending the rest of their life chasing creatures that no longer even fight back in a warped sense of closure- or to dissolve themselves in the acids of the void sea because they're too far gone to find any real peace.
They can't meaningfully recover from that state, not alone, twisting in on themselves. Even if they halt their actions, they've been using violence as a feeble defense against their own pain- violence that no longer has any real direction or basis. Artificer gets no real closure from killing the scavenger king. All they can do is continue the cycle, or try to scrub it away. No real peace in a prison of their own making.
So you have a creature, who even with a strict timer on their life- a body that will crumble to disease, spends its last bit of time on saving another. And another who was so caught up in the pain of loss that were eaten alive by their own anger, poisoned their own soul on such a deep level even self-proclaimed gods have no solution for them.
What peace can they offer each other? For Hunter, its only a fleeting moment of happiness- of selfish love, before their own body fails them. A bit of indulgence in something for themself. For Artificer, its a single, comforting thread to ground them again, something tangible to protect and care about again.
But thats a thread that will ultimately be snapped under the cruel indifference of the world. Hunters timer will tick down regardless of if it takes another with it. Its a tragedy- its doomed to end badly. Whatever good it offers to either of them to find each other will only provide the fleeting comfort of a band-aid that will be ripped away too early.
But all that can be worth indulging in anyway, if only for the moment. It doesn't change the ending, but the ending was never going to be happy.
Its can so yuri
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