Tumgik
#<- YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS ACTUALLY ive learned a lot of people take the game theory timeline as gospel n I don’t know the game theory timeline
gooberdingus · 3 months
Text
very low on energy today (did too much schoolwork for my poor feeble brain) but still wanting to post so umm uhh!! throws self indulgent febbles stimboard at you
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
x | x | x
x | - | x
x | x | x
73 notes · View notes
clockworkreapers · 5 months
Note
I just came across your sburb land art, I'm absolutely stunned by it all, everything feels like it fits exactly with the rest of homestuck! would you have any advice/techniques to share for drawing in the style? stylistic details you feel are oft missed in fanart, etc?
Uh well I’m def not one to judge the way others draw world art lol that’s for sure, it can kinda be anything you want right? I don’t actually look at a lot of fanart tbh so I can’t say if anyone is missing anything at all or forgetting anything def not gonna go police how others should do art
I know there’s like major through line of that mspa kinda style is using a G-pen or something similar to get those clean crunchy pixels without any extra noise. Also panel sizes your usually going to work with around 650 pixels (length or width doesn’t matter that’s just generally what classic HS panel sizes are). If you have that you can pretty much do whatever you want. These are tools anyone can use though just if you want that kinda of style.
Other than that I guess just basic art tips people might not think about when drawing any environment
-implementing perspective
-setting up a focal point
-making colors fade closer to grey or blue the farther away they are from your vision (or whatever color the land’s sky is)
-using purples or blue for shadows on multiply layers and whatever colors your light sources are on overlay layers or glowdodge layers
Also to be fair I went to college for concept art in game design this is just stuff I picked up there- anyone can do it tho, there’s no like secret sauce
6 notes · View notes
horrorwebs · 11 months
Text
i hate my best friend earlier i was like "im scared that this guy likes me bc he said something that i would only say to people who i like, but i recognize thats its a normal ass thing to say anyway and i rationally know he does not like me, but still, my brain decided to play with that concept and made me have a terrible nightmare the other night about it and now im subconsciously scared that he will like me ( with the underlying concept of "i am scared of men")" and shell go ohohioo what if youre projecting and its actually YOU that likes him. ????? bitch did you not hear the part about having a dream where he abused me or ...?sometimes being asexual is a nightmare nobody gets it
#and i have actually considered that btw.! and no i dont like him. if i like anyone its someone else entirely.and i dont like them either so#but she did not get it for the most part which i understand my feelings are unconventional and irrational and hard to follow. but i am#quite literally scared of the concept. of a man liking me. of this guy specifically bc we are good friends why ruin it!but just guys in gen#and i dreamt he abused me.....#literal nightmare i woke up scared and confused all bc my brain hates ne#anyway. she wants to have a gotcha moment so bad#like i said before. no its not about projecting and being scared of liking him#its about being scared that someone who i care about sees me in a way i dont and demands things from me i am not willing to give#+ someone being intimidating by having more experience compared to my 0 amount#+ feeling a bit intimiddated that my new friend group will find me immature as i am the youngest one#theres a lot of complicated feelings and a lot of confusing things bc of my asexuality but she sometimes doesnt get it#its not rly about liking him. also if i do in the future i wont really give myself a headache about it ive decided to stop worrying#about things like that it never helps.#anyway this is the friend i was hopelessly in love with and i can safely say i am over her now [tangent]#anyway. idk. sometimes i feel so stupid but this fear was idk a bit more than justa silly highschool 'what if i like them'and more#'what if the people i meet want to take advantage of me and i cant learn to say no' + 'what if i have a way of self sabotaging perfectly#good friendships by implanting irrational fears into them via dream' ?#you know. a bit more heavy#idk if anyone reads my rants id you doo cool thanks but whatever this is my diary maybe i should go nack to the psychologist idk#spikeposting
3 notes · View notes
sneefsnorf · 7 months
Text
private schools love to discriminate against disabled students its their favourite activity. its enrichment for them
1 note · View note
jihyoruri · 2 months
Text
❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 UNEXPECTED kim minjeong x reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
↳warnings: yn is a member of ive and is described as a loser a lot (like they keep coming for my girl)
for all the years that minjeong knew her ex girlfriend, she never knew the girl had a sister until after they broke up, which is insane when she thinks about it more and she still hasn’t met the girl till this day.
she remembers it like it was yesterday, on the first of december is when the hit girl group ive debuted, yes a lot of people raved about the two ex iz*one members debuting but what made more rave was the girl that looked almost identical to jimin and it wasn’t an exaggeration they had the same last name and some unreal similarities between the two girls that even had minjeong asking jimin as she seen the new idol but the only thing jimin responded with was a laugh.
it was later revealed that the girl was in fact jimin’s little sister which brought a lot of shock to the world including minjeong and a little bit of betrayal, it was weird that jimin never mentioned her little sister, even when they were dating but she never pushed on it not wanting things to become more awkward than it normally was with them lately.
it’s been almost three years and minjeong has had interactions with almost all of the ive members but she’s never had a single interaction with jimin’s sister who she learned name was yn, well not until today.
all four girls sat around each other in their own worlds with their faces in their phones, there’s comfortable silence in the room that jimin breaks.
“my sister is coming over to pick up something.” the leader says grabbing all of the girls attention, “she’ll probably stay for a couple minutes as well.” she says her eyes still on her phone while the other girls look at her like she told the most shocking news in the world.
“wait, we’re actually going to meet your precious little sister?” aeri asked, this was big news for the other girls, jimin never brought her sister around she never even talked about her, “are you being for real?”
“yeah… she should be here in like a minute.” jimin now looking up from her phone and looking at the rest of girls like they’ve grown two extra heads, “is that a problem?”
“no!” minjeong cuts in, “it’s just you never talk about her, you never even told me about her we were dating.” she says before wincing at her words both aeri and yizhuo cringing as well as awkward silence fills the word at the topic of the girls past relationship.
“well… who cares that’s the past.” jimin says looking off to the side, “just don’t jump on her guys, I know my sister and you guys are really intense sometimes.” she says and rolls her eyes at the offensive looks she gets from her members, “she’s quiet and shy and can be weird sometimes, she’s kind of a loser, like mega loser, so please give her some space when she comes in.”
loser? she doesn’t look like a loser from what ive seen minjeong says to herself, she was kind of nervous when jimin said yn was coming over but if yn really is how jimin is describing, then there’s no need.
the girls nod their heads at the leader and silence takes over the room again but not for long as a knock on the door interrupts the silence.
jimin jumps up from the couch she was on and walks over to the door opening it immediately, minjeong hears a soft voice and jimin’s laugh before the door closes.
jimin walks back to where the girls were sitting but this time with someone behind her, minjeong feels something happen in her stomach when she lays her eyes on the girl, she’s on the taller side and pretty lanky but her arms show a slight tone to them she watched as the girl she pushed up glasses up the bridge of her nose looking down at the ground not making any eye contact with girls.
“this is yn,” jimin says putting her hand on the taller girls shoulder pushing her slightly to showcase her to her members, “my baby sister.” she says teasingly patting yn who still looks at the floor.
“fix you posture and look up,” jimin says to yn who immediately straightens up and looks up at the rest of girl showcasing her heart stopping face, aeri whistles quietly earning a nudge from minjeong who can’t seem to take her eyes off the girls face as well.
“im gonna go find what you want, so just sit with them while you wait,” jimin says before sending the girls a warning look before heading to her room.
yn stands awkwardly, while aeri clears her throat, “you can sit between minjeong and I.” she says pushing minjeong over and patting the spot between them.
yn puts her hands in her jean pockets and slowly walks over to where minjeong and aeri are sitting and sits between them, she talks out her hands from her pants and plays with the rings on her fingers and looks down in her lap and minjeong can’t help but let her eyes travel down to the girls toned hands.
“so…yn.” aeri starts, “this is our first time meeting you isn’t that insane?.” the girl says trying to start a conversation but there wasn’t a single thought in her mind as well, just like minjeong her eyes are fixated on yn’s rings.
yn is silent for a second and minjeong shifted uncomfortably in her seat, feeling a strange mix of curiosity and nervousness as she stole glances at yn. despite jimin's description, there was an undeniable allure to yn's demeanor.
“uh, yeah.” yn responded, now getting bored of her rings, she focuses on a keychain of saturn on her pants playing with it, “jimin never talked about you guys much as well.”
“oh really?”yizhuo cuts in with a offended tone, “I’ll talk to her about that.” she says obviously just wanting to troll the leader she gets up, “you should come too aeri unnie,” she says grabbing the other girls attention that was still on the quiet girl.
“uh, sure…” she says getting up and leaving both yn and minjeong on the couch, “I’ll be back.” she says before walking off with yizhuo.
silence fills the room again and all minjeong can do is look at the girl who’s attention is still in her lap, losers shouldn’t be this attractive is the only thing she can say to herself, she’s happy that yn is so in her own world to not notice her staring.
at least that’s what she thought, minjeong quickly turned her head around when yn looked up and turned her head to make direct eye contact with her, she got that feeling in her stomach again, this is embarrassing.
yn stared at her for a second before turning her gaze back to the front and leaning her head back letting out a sigh, minjeong hears her mumbling to herself about how long jimin takes with things.
she awkwardly cleared her throat, “jimin unnie is always taking long right?” she says to the girl who just nods and brings an arm up to rest of the back of the couch.
“so um,” minjeong starts, “isn’t it weird how I was literally jimin’s girlfriend and still never knew about you.”
yn lifted her head back up and looked at minjeong, “jimin had a girlfriend?” she asks bluntly there’s silence before she quietly laughs at the look on minjeongs and it was the first time the other girl has seen her smile since she came in here, it was cute.
“I’m joking,” yn says now looking to side, her demeanor automatically going back to the way it was before, she scratches the back of her neck and angels it in a way that minjeong can see the tattoo that peaks out, “I knew about you, not much though.” “you like tattoos?” minjeong asks, causing the girl to look at her again, “sorry, I noticed the one on your neck.”
“uh, yeah.” yn responds looking down again, “I have more, I can strip and show you the rest.” she says causing minjeong’s face go red.
“sorry,” she laughs awkwardly, “that was a joke, a horrible joke to say to your sister ex.”
oh yeah, for a second minjeong forgot that yn was jimin’s sister, because of how hypnotized she was by the girl, “no, it was funny.” she says moving closer to yn who immediately noticed and tensed slightly.
minjeong felt more confidence, realizing that she was the one in control in this situation, “from the looks of you, somethings telling me you get a lot of girls and guys ”
“uh,” yn says glancing at minjeong before looking back down, “no, not really.”
now this shocked minjeong, why does nobody want the attractive losers? the quite ones are the best she’s never had one in her lifetime so far, but yn is making hard not to want one.
“so, you’ve never been in a relationship?” minjeong asks.
“nope.”
“unbelievable.” she says leaning closer to yn, who fidgets with anything she can at the girl’s closeness.
“I should give you my number.” the girl states which causes yn to just nod, “if that’s what you want, can I ask why? she responds.
minjeong holds her hand out and yn grabs her phone from her pocket and gave it to the girl who added her contact and gave it back, “making new friends is good, sometimes they can lead to more.”
yn awkwardly laughed at the last part and put her phone back in her pocket.
minjeong opens her mouth to say more but is cut off by the footsteps of her members.
“found it!” jimin says walking into the room and aeri and yizhuo trail behind her, it’s a old dsi animal crossings game. “why did you need this?”
yn gets up immediately and takes the game out of jimin’s hand, “I found my old dsi, and I want to play on it, for when yujin unnie yells at me for having my face in my other games for too long.” minjeong couldn’t help but frown realizing that this means that the girl is leaving now, she waves at yn along with the other girls.
“you’re such a dork,” jimin laughs while yn makes her way to the door, “you’re not gonna say bye to the girls?”
“oh yeah, bye.” she says before immediately leaving.
jimin closes the door and looks at the girls, “well, that’s my sister.”
your awfully attractive sister, minjeong says to herself, of course she would find herself being attracted to her exs sister, this was definitely unexpected.
she knew how messy a situation like this could be, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care.
638 notes · View notes
targaryenluvs · 4 months
Text
VICTORS SPOILS
Tumblr media
pairings: dark!finnick odair x fem!capitol!reader
warnings: obsession, following/stalking, creepy behaviour, naive/younger reader, age gap, (reader is 19 and finnick's around 25), non-con touching and kissing, manipulation, bj mentions/insinuations, sex mentions, prostitution mentions, finnick lowkey preying on you - descriptions of brown reader (i was self indulgent since i’m indian 😁) condescending/nit picking mother and pushy parents!
summary: a victor should be celebrated! a victor should get what ever they wish, even if it’s a sweet capitol girl who misplaced her kindness in someone who was in desperate need of reprieve and distraction.
a/n: ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!! HERES A GIFT FROM ME TO YOU ❤️GUESS WHO MADE HER OWN LITTLE HEADER GAHH!! i tried my bestttt - ive been away for a littleeee!! sorry babes <33 it was like 3am and i cooked this up in my head before opening my brewing pot (notes app) and jotting it down - NOT PROOFREAD
the hall was so loud.
they always were at capitol parties. your mother and father always dragged you along, stating that a young lady should be getting out, meeting people, friends, becoming well versed and established in the capitol. and that they wouldn’t always be here. “you need to learn to be alone, fend for yourself and stand your ground. how are you gonna do that if you’re always trying to keep to yourself dear?” your mother sweetly smiled as she looked over you, “i think you still have time to change that dress, not the most flattering sweetie.”
you scoffed as she walked away ever so elegantly. you looked over yourself in the mirror, the green dress was gorgeous, to you at least. but the blue dress your mother had chosen was breath-taking, as much as you hated to agree with her opinion. so you bit your tongue and put the chosen dress on.
mother knows best right?
the sun was setting with an especially beautiful array of colours to which you figured no one would really notice you were gone if they were all focused on something else. there was probably a screen upstairs which you could watch something on. a few things to eat and drink then you’d head up there.
finnick was glancing over to you the whole night. you’d worn blue, and he’d taken it as an ode to him. you hadn’t looked over at him yet but your leaving of the party seemed like an invitation to him to finally introduce himself.
as you settled down on the plush couch you felt all your tensions melt away. but finnick wouldn’t leave you alone for long. “i’m sorry i didn’t know this was occupied.” finnick looked sad and you had no clue why, so being as nice as you are had you opening the room in invitation to him. “no, no! i just wanted to get away from the party. you’re welcome to sit with me finnick.” it felt odd to you for some reason, calling him by his name as if he was a friend. you’d only ever seen him through screens and from afar yet he looked as amazing as always.
“are you sure?” you nodded and smiled, moving down the couch to make room for him. he sat down, respectful of your space. he looked drained and you felt the same way. “tired of the party?” you asked as he smiled and nodded, “a lot of people asking a lot of questions.” you spoke, “everyone has something to say or ask. my dad told me he got three men asking for my hand. we haven’t even been here for two hours. it’s like being in a room with vultures. and if i do accept i’ll just be, nothing. someone stuck to the side of some ugly guy who just wants a pretty face.” you didn’t know what it was about him but you felt as if you could tell him anything.
and he sat, and listened. nodding his head and adding it where appropriate. it felt, nice. having someone actually listen to what you said rather than just asking what you were wearing. he was nothing like what you expected. you’d heard the whispers. that he was a playboy, he was with and had been with multiple women and men over the years. and that he liked it, the gifts, the people, the uhm, other aspects.
“but you, i’m sure you have people to meet, scope out.” you wanted to curl up and die as soon as the words left your mouth. “no! oh my god, i do not mean it like that. you- i- you should not feel ashamed of what you like. i am so sorry- i didn’t mean to imply-” god would you stop droning on? finnick pressed his lips into a thin line, “hey it’s okay. you’re fine. in all honestly, i know everyone has mis-conceptions of me.” you took his place in attentive listening as he explained the truth.
the threats, the people pawing at him, him being sold from fourteen.
you were crying. it all sounded unbelievable and unbearable for someone to go through at such a young age, his life was ruined all because he was pretty, desirable. no child should even have to think of such things let alone experience them. and rather than you comforting him, he was sitting with his arms around you. he was too good to be true.
“i- no i’m so sorry that happened to you finnick. i had no clue, no one does. you are such an amazing person, from the little time i’ve known you. you don’t deserve any of this. how could you get away from this? we could- we could expose snow we could-” finnick cut you off with teary eyes, “there’s nothing we can do. trust me, if there was i would have tried. but i think, if i got married perhaps. i’d have a reason to stay away from the captiol. we’d live in district four, in peace.”
the idea was pretty decent, you’d give him that. and you couldn’t help your heart running a little faster at the prospect of potentially marrying him. you were already fast friends, at least you’d marry a friend? even if he potentially loved someone else or you loved another.
“what if- if you married me?”
he’d hoped you’d say that.
“you’d do that for me? seriously?” finnick faked shock as you nodded, “we’re friends, i’d much rather marry you than anyone else here to be honest. we could be happy.” you smiled as he wiped away his last tear. “y/n, that’s an amazing idea.”
your wedding was marvellous.
your parents pushed out buck after buck, no expense spared for their little girl. as if they actually cared for you. your wedding dress was white and pristine, courtesy of snow. your brown hair in curls and your brown skin glistening. but you added blue accents for finnick, or you thought you did. it’s not like he pushed for you to wear the things he bought by incessantly reminding the makeup artists and helpers that you were marrying the finnick odair, his wife deserved nothing but the best.
you stood infront of a friend, smiling, happy to be marrying a kind soul.
he stood in front of the object of his affection, his desire and love.
in the first few weeks you were undeniably happy, finnick was as sweet as ever and respected you. it was your best outcome. but overtime you seemed to notice changes in his behaviour. when you’d want to go out into town for dinner he’d always have an excuse up his sleeve.
“there’s roadworks towards your favourite restaurant honey. maybe another time?”
“apparently they’re all booked out, maybe in a few weeks time?”
“wouldn’t you rather have a home-cooked meal? i made your favourite sweetheart.”
it began to annoy after the sixth time. “it can’t always be busy can it? we use to go all the time, and it’s not like they’d refuse you finnick. what’s going on?”
“i give you everything you could ever want. why the hell do you want to go out so much? am i not enough? are you- are you seeing someone?” finnick slumped in his seat.
your eyes widened as you rushed over to him, settling on your knees as your hands were placed on his thighs, “finnick how could you say such a thing? i would never do that to you. i swear there’s nothing going on, i just, i’m bored. i’d like to go out with you, explore your district with you, meet new people with you.” finnicks eyes burnt into yours. this is certainly not how he first wanted to see you on your knees, but at least you were whining.
“yeah? you like me? you promise there’s nothing going on?” you nodded dumbly, “yes yes! nothing i promise.” finnick looked down at your hands in his lap, “how do i know you’re not lying?” your hands were on his knees as you straightened your back, coming closer to his eye level, “i promise finnick. you are my husband, i’m with you. i’ll do anything to prove it to you.”
finnick was fighting off every muscle in his cheeks to not start grinning whilst the sad look on his face was breaking your heart, “yeah? anything?” oh this was going to be good. your cheeks were flushed as you heard the words come of out his mouth, “undo my belt sweetheart, show me how much you mean it.” wavering hands hovered over his belt buckle as finnick relaxed into his seat, it couldn’t get better than this right?
wrong.
every time you asked to go out, to meet a friend, to go to the capitol he’d always sulk. and the night would end with you on your knees, him on his to make you forget, or the two of you tangled in sheets.
finnick was finally happy, he had the girl of his dreams after such a long period of sadness, of exploitation and terror. fake smiles and lingering eyes.
he finally got something out of the games.
and his gift?
the victors spoils.
838 notes · View notes
stellar-skyy · 5 months
Text
COURT GOSSIP — Furina x reader.
i. SUMMARY: Fontaine has a lot to say about Furina's lover. (Now with a part two!) ii. CONTENT WARNINGS: Very very slight spoilers for the 4.2 archon quest, brief use of pet names (darling). iii. NOTES: Angst, reader doesn't actually make an appearance but they are talked about throughout, gn!reader, they/them pronouns used, 2.1k words. iv. A/N: Angst bc i lost the 50/50. This probably isn't as good as I wanted it to be, but I'm tired and I was sick of rewriting things.
Tumblr media
They called the relationship a lot of things. Scandalous, shocking, shameless. Shameless wasn’t the right word. Furina had plenty shame, but the taste of love had left her too excited to worry about repercussions. Careless, was more accurate.
If she had more care, she would be home by then, curled around her lover, laying with her ear pressed to their chest so she could hear their heartbeat. She wouldn’t be pacing back and forth and wearing grooves into Neuvillette’s office’s carpet.
“It is going to be alright, Lady Furina. Sit down.” Neuvillette said calmly. He was sitting still, hands folded in his lap, and to the ordinary eye he looked perfectly at ease. But Furina hadn’t spent five centuries with him without learning his mannerisms. The stiffness in his shoulders, the twitch of his eyebrow, the way his words sounded a touch too sharp; it was obvious he was just as concerned as she was.
“It’s not! Do you know what they’re saying?” Furina hissed. She threw the newspaper across his desk, letting it land in front of him with a smack. The photo of the two of them—her arms wrapped around their neck, while they kissed her cheek—took up almost the entire page, only broken up by the title.
Exclusive: Who is Lady Furina’s secret paramour?
“I must say, this is quite a poorly titled article.” Neuvillette frowned, looking closer. “The word ‘paramour’ is archaic by itself, but more than that it already implies a scandalous relationship. The word ‘secret’ is superfluous.”
“That’s not the point!” Furina practically wailed. “Look at what they’re saying!”
“Hmm… ‘Who is this mystery partner, and how did they catch the attention of the Archon herself? Is this unknown lover strategically targeting Lady Furina to attempt to obscure the justice of Fontaine?’ Ah, I see. They believe your partner to be seeking you out to gain influence of the court system.”
“How dare they! To think they would stoop to such a level to accuse my—”
“It is alright. I have already scheduled an official announcement to acknowledge the concerns and quell the rumours.”
“It’s not only that! The people are losing their respect.”
“…I am afraid I do not understand.”
“For me! They—” Furina halted. “I—I heard them today. They think of me as just some love-stricken girl. Archons above—” Neuvillette chose not to point out that she herself was an archon. “I couldn’t stand it...”
⋆ ✩ 。 ° ✩ ° 。 ✩ ⋆
It had been a pleasant morning; so pleasant that once Furina had detangled herself from her partner’s arms, she decided to take a walk.
As she strolled through the streets, the sounds of the city beginning its day and the singing of birds mingled together in a strangely beautiful symphony. They competed for the attention of whoever happened to be listening, with songbirds chirping and crooning from the tops of buildings, directly above the sounds of vendors and other salespersons trying to sell their products.
“Fresh lavender melons, straight from Inazuma!” A fruit-seller called, holding a basket filled with bright purple fruits.
Ah, Lavender Melons. They were a fairly new sight in Fontaine, only appearing after trade with Inazuma was reestablished. Perhaps she should purchase a bunch.
“Extra, extra!” a young newsboy yelled out, waving a newspaper above his head. “Read all about the latest Fontaine news, from the Fontaine Gazette! Hear about the case that divided the Chief Justice and Lady Furina!”
The newspapers were always embellished, but the Fontaine Gazette was a particularly egregious example. Not a single word in that paper was without exaggeration. Though, it was entertaining at times to look over the stories and laugh about the incredulity of it all.
She strolled over to listen to the boy’s calls, idly looking past the rows of newspapers and magazines. She withdrew one from the stand, a gaudy looking magazine with bright red headlines screaming in her face.  
The Spina di Rosula in shambles! it shrieked. Such a crude form of entertainment, the misery of others. It was good Fontaine had enough reputable newspapers to drown out the crows and calls of garbage like that.
“Extra, extra! Lady Furina has a secret lover? Read all about it here!”
In a second, the magazine in Furina’s hands slipped onto the ground, and she felt her breath catch in her chest.
She had to have misheard him; it must be a terrible mistake. She’d been too careful to hide them from the spotlight, keeping them away from the public’s claws. If they’d been discovered, the media would stop at nothing to tear them to shreds. Not to mention how she’d look if their relationship was found out—the Archon of Fontaine, falling head over heels for a mere mortal.
Furina had snatched the paper right out of the young boy’s hand. As he started protesting, she quickly threw a handful of Mora at him and bustled away to read the paper. Behind her, two ladies gasped and leaned over to whisper to each other.
“Is that Lady Furina?”
“I’m surprised she can show her face… I wouldn’t have the courage.”
Vultures, the lot of them! Had they no shame, gossiping about her from six feet away, like she couldn’t damn well hear them?
Their chatter faded to static and white noise in her ears, as the newspaper unfolded to reveal the story she’d been fearing. In it, the photo showed two lovers were caught in an embrace, one hidden in the other’s shoulder. The other was turned at just the right angle to show herself to the camera, grinning down at her partner with love in her eyes.
Furina stared in horror as her own face stared back at her.
⋆ ✩ 。 ° ✩ ° 。 ✩ ⋆
“Furina—Ahem, Lady Furina,” Neuvillette paused, blinking at his mistake. Oh dear. He must be on the verge of a breakdown, if he was already messing up her name. “We must begin the conference soon. Shall we leave?”
“I—I suppose that would be prudent,” Furina said shakily, straightening her back.
The trip to the Opera Epiclese was filled with silence. Furina stared at her hands in her lap, picking at the edges of her gloves, while Neuvillette gripped his cane tightly and periodically shot her concerned looks. The only words that were spoken were after they had arrived.
“Are you ready?” Neuvillette asked, hand curled around the curtain separating their backstage room to the front balcony.
“No,” Furina whispered hollowly, before smoothing her features into neutrality and stepping onto the stage.
“Hello, my dears.” Her lips moved of their own accord; voice disconnected from her mind. “I am here to address some rumours you may have heard. If you have been following the news, you would know that some pictures have been spreading of me and another individual. Since then, there has been a number of gossip floating around the court, very little of which is based on fact.”
“Tch, she’s already trying to avoid the blame.” A particularly loud audience member commented, loud enough for Furina to hear. She hesitated for a moment, before continuing.
“This person is as many have suspected,” Furina breathed out. “A romantic partner.”
“Ms Furina!” A young man—notebook and pen in hand; a reporter, likely—yelled out. Furina bit back the haughty That is Lady Furina to you on her tongue. Arrogance wouldn’t serve her well in this performance. “People have been saying that this ‘lover’ of yours is a threat to the integrity of the justice system. How do you respond to the allegations that they are using you to sway the court?”
“T-That isn’t true! They—”
“How can we trust the Palais Mermonia if the Archon is being influenced?” A voice in the front row whispered loudly to her friend.
“If she’s that weak to the charm of a random person, then what does that say about her judgement?” Another responded.
“I—” Furina stuttered out. “P-Please, calm yourselves! I can explain myself if you just wait—”
“Is this really what Fontaine is coming to?” That pesky reporter yelled out, only stirring the chaos further. The courtroom erupted into noise, all overlapping opinions drowning out any conscious thought of hers.
“Childish—”
“Unprofessional—”
“Not fit to lead—”
“—If she’s so distracted by love.”
If the first words were a punch in the gut, the last were certainly a strike straight to her skull. She flinched, her resolve cracking enough to let the throes of panic wash over her face. It was all too much: the lights, the noise, the audience.
But she was used to commotion. She had been acting for centuries.
In the drama, she had almost forgotten her place; the Court of Fontaine was her stage, and she was the leading actress. The citizens before her were the audience to her performance, and she was damned if she wasn’t to put on a show for them.
With a deep breath, she slipped right back into the façade, smoothing over the cracks in her mask with inhuman poise.
“They say the true tragedy of godhood, is one never gets the chance to live like a human.” Furina smiled coyly, playing up the eccentric goddess act that she had been cultivating for centuries. “So many experiences we are robbed of; growing up, falling in love.”
“You wanted to be human?” An audience member called out. Young woman, nervous expression. Perfect extra for Furina’s show.
She turned to stare her in the eyes, coy grin lighting up her features. “Tell me, dear. Have you ever had a lover of your own?”
 “M-me?!” She squeaked. “Oh… I-I haven’t really had a girlfriend. B-But I have been in a… relationship of sorts.” The audience member spluttered and blushed. “A… summer fling, I suppose.”
“Well, wouldn’t I be a fool not to chase a summer fling of my own?” Furina tilted back her head with a laugh, letting her voice boom across the Opera with the confidence that left the audience hanging on her every word. “Oh, my dearest citizens. Do you think so lowly of me to think I’d let a brief bit of romance keep me from my duties? That I would be blinded by something so silly as love?”
“You don’t love them?” Another nervous audience member asked.
Yes, Furina wanted to scream. I love them more than I have ever loved anything in this world.
“Ah, love. Such a novel concept.” She loved them, she did. Oh, how she hoped they would forgive them for this. “The only love I hold is for my people and my nation! I need no lover, when I already have the love of my beautiful Fontaine.”
“I believe we have strayed off-topic,” Neuvillette said, smoothly shifting their attention to him. “The Court of Fontaine retains that this individual carries no influence over Lady Furina, the Palais Mermonia or the Fontainian justice system. This… relationship is something inconsequential that has no effect over Lady Furina’s work, and is not of a concern to Fontaine’s citizens.” Damn right it wasn’t their concern. “To put it frankly, this person is of no significance at all.”
Only Neuvillette was close enough to hear the sharp gasp that escaped her.
“This conference is hereby adjourned.”
They were going to hate her.
How was she supposed to look them in the eyes, after telling an entire courtroom that they were of no importance to her? The love of her life, the one who brought light into the world and a smile of genuine joy upon her face with just their presence. She imagined them watching the court; hearing her words, feeling them strike against their skin like blades.
They were going to hate her, and she would let them.
She would let them hate her, if it meant the public would forget their name. The moment they disappeared from the light, then the rumours would disappear just the same.
And a part of her—a small, barely noticeable, inconsequential part of her, but a part of her nonetheless—breathed a sigh of relief at the knowledge that her balance hadn’t been overturned. It was selfish, she knew that, and the thought disgusted her as much as it brought her comfort. That part whispered that it was for the best, not just for them but for her as well. Her reputation was secure, they were quietly pushed away from the light, and the scandal would die down quickly.
Furina stumbled backstage, stomach spinning. She leaned heavily against the wall, eyes squeezed shut, dreading the moment she would have to go home and face her lover after what she had done.
“Oh, darling.” She murmured. “Please forgive me.”
Tumblr media
reblogs and comments are appreciated! ♡
580 notes · View notes
ooctlt · 13 days
Note
I think the etiquette of ask blogs is a forgotten art. what I'm saying is (imo) it's not that people don't want to play, it is they don't know HOW, and more importantly they don't understand that the game exists to begin with. obviously you do not have to teach people the rules because your time and energy is finite but idk. it feels like from some of your OOC responses that you assume people know the rules and are playing badly, but I genuinely think people (me) just don't know what you are wanting them (us) to do. and also they (i) don't know how to tell if they (i) are playing the game correctly.
An example I am genuinely confused about is, is inciting a "shut up" answer a signal that the game is being played correctly, because we are inciting a reaction from the character? or is a "shut up" answer a signal that we are playing wrong and need to do something different? I'm sorry. I really love your art and seeing the story unfold but I'm confused and I want to play and I don't understand how.
yeah ive had a couple people tell me this has been the first active askblog in a while and the concept of askblog etiquette has been forgotten- @thatneoncrisis and i made a diagram:
Tumblr media
link to full-res image
a "shut up" reaction will hopefully show whether or not it's a closed path of exploration: if you have gideon sweating, going "pshhh its nothinggg" it means there is something worth exploring. if you have harrow slamming the door in your face, that is an advance that wont work on her
transcript under the readmore:
DEAD END QUESTION ANON: CAMILLA DO YOU THINK HARROW'S HOT?
"Please stop talking to me."
This question is BAD because it's BLUNT, INCREDIBLY PERSONAL and founded on INCOMPLETE KNOWLEDGE of their relationship.
NOTE that its not that shitty questions will NEVER be answered, its that 1) they have a LOWER chance of being answered and 2) they have a HIGHER chance of being made fun of in character
gideon: haha who thinks harrow is HOT
DECENT INCONSEQUENTIAL QUESTION ANON: CAMILLA DO YOU LIKE TO DO ANYTHING FUN WITH HARROW?
"Sure. We run a lot of errands together."
This kind of question may not advance the plot, as it is INCREDIBLY BROAD yet NONINVASIVE. They're good for quick 1-3 panel answers. May generally be met with a less EXCITING answer.
It might also be DIFFICULT TO ANSWER because a broad question could include MULTIPLE ANSWERS - asking "do you guys go out" could not be answered SUSTAINABLY, because i cannot draw all the places they visit
ANON: EVERYONE, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CLOUD / WATER / MOLECULAR STRUCTURE / BONE / CAR / COFFEE BRAND/ BOOK CHARACTER?
me: "i have to do so much research"
NEAT QUESTION CAMILLA HAS HARROW EVER ASKED YOU TO DO SOMETHING WITH HER SHE WAS EXCITED ABOUT?
"Yes, actually. She once invited me to [REDACTED], I didn't know she liked that sort of thing."
This question is SICK AS FUCK because not only do you learn something SUBSTANTIAL about the characters, you have stumbled upon A NEW PLOT BRANCH, one that actively deepens character connections and their past within the world. It specifically remarks upon a MEMORY* rather than AN OPINION and will typically be LONGER.
Another good option is to PROMPT something following this:
ANON: CAMILLA, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TAKING HARROW OUT TO DO [REDACTED] THAT SHE LIKES BEFORE XYZ?
and this can then spiral onward…
*DM, ONE TIME I ASKED ABOUT A MEMORY AND I GOT A RUDE ANSWER; WHAT DID I DO WRONG?
It's not that this topic can never be spoken about, it's about WHEN you asked it and HOW you said it, or even WHO you asked.
Some topics, like the nature of HARROW AND GIDEON'S UPBRINGING are too recent for them to talk about, it has only been TWO YEARS since they left and there are SPECIFICS about the situation that the AUDIENCE hasn't discovered yet. There are things like GIDEON'S PARENTS that she CANNOT answer because she DOESN'T KNOW and answering multiple asks with I DON'T KNOW becomes repetitive and dull for both the DM and PLAYER.
BUT! She can learn! Over time, when the time is appropriate and feels the most natural for STORY PROGESSION. Think of it like a BAD ENDING in a visual novel. You START OVER and ask a DIFFERENT QUESTION, or approach it from a DIFFERENT ANGLE. If Gideon reacts poorly to someone congratulating her leaving BAD CIRCUMSTANCES, consider talking to her about the FUTURE. Instead of trying to pry at Camilla to see if she had an INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP with Pyrrha, try to ask about other things in that period of her life, like how they met or what caused her to move out.
FINALLY, if you'd like an ask to be answered out of character, your best bet would be to goto @notedchampagne and send it there. If you'd like an ask to be answered SINCERELY or you don't want SNARK, you can specify this in the ask, but know this blog may not be your thing.
191 notes · View notes
savnofilter · 7 months
Text
On to Better Things | k. bakugo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
      Pro Hero!DILF!Katsuki Bakugo x [FEM] Reader
Tumblr media
CONTENT WARNING(S): sexual content, angst, strangers to lovers.
sfw — toxic & abusive relationship, toxic baby daddy, mentions postpartum, mental health, arguing, mentions of legal proceedings, counseling, drama, cultural family expectations, love bombing, manipulation, a man being a hypocrite, reader low-key needs a new circle of people around them but that's neither here nor there, reader loves their daughter to pieces </3, reader's daughter is a hand full but we stan!, reader spaces out a lot, "our kids are best friends but we never met before and so happen to be single" trope.
nsfw — sexual content, pro hero!bakugo sorry not sorry lmao, bakugo got rizz, fingering, cunnilingus, groping, praise kink, reader has multiple orgasms (2, hinted 4), reader is a bit shy as it's been awhile and feels nervous, vocal queen reader, clothed sex, protected sex, comforting!bakugo, non-established relationship.
COUNT: 11.4k words (45 mins.)
READ MORE: masterlist + [students | bakugo]
A/N: whooph the warnings… imo, it's nothing too serious, but yk i gotta put the warnings up!! it's not graphic, but it does talk ab the stuff listed. i didnt know how else to craft a toxic ex-baby daddy type of situation, and it divulged into this 😭 also use yalls brains with the sfw & nsfw discernment for the warnings… ofc i do not take lightly about what's written, so dont twist it any other way and the heavier subjects being under sfw. i digress!! ive been wanting to write this request for a while and finally got around to it. unfortunately, i alr want to rewrite. :') despite that, i actually kinda really liked this one so i hope yall fw it too. 🫶🏽 thank you, anon!
Tumblr media
"Mommy!" Your daughter, Niyuki, calls out to you as she runs into your arms.
She had recently turned 6 years old and still loves the end of the day on Fridays where she could run into your arms, and recount everything about what she had learned that week. Niyuki is pretty much a chatterbox and you weren't too sure where she got it from considering that even your… ex wasn't quite the talkative one either. As you grew to love this quality about her, you found it endearing. Phone calls with her were always a delight and that was how she had persuaded (begged) you to let her go to the park despite having other plans for the day.
You had promised on Monday that she would be able to go to the park in addition to ending her day Friday night off with having a sleepover with her best friend. Niyuki, being an excitable kid, wanted to go straight from school to the park so she wouldn't waste any more time than she already had.
"Hi, Niyuki!" You beam back, a loving smile on your face as you pepper her face in kisses, and hold her cheeks as she tries to shy away with her boundless amounts of giggles. "How was your da-"
"Great -- Mommy you promised we could go to the park today!" Niyuki lightly pushes away from you, a slight whine to her voice as she attempts to get away from your onslaught of affection.
"We can still go, I can't greet my little angel first before I do that?" You poke her cheek as you stand up straight and hold your hand out for her to hold. "Tell me about your day, pumpkin."
There was a skip in her step as she recounted her day to you. When Niyuki gets started, she never stops. She talked about the first moment her feet reached the school grounds, to before school had started, then she talked about her first few classes, after that what she did during lunch and how much fun she had at recess, the "drama" (very unserious but nevertheless cute) that happened before classes resumed and so on. Niyuki is also the animated type and could often run out of breath when she talks. She would use her hands and voice inflictions just to convey what she was speaking about. Sometimes, you even had to remind her to slow down and that time was going nowhere when talking with you.
It was moments like this when you could take in the rambunctiousness and appreciate your lovable daughter. You two only seemed to have special moments like these—well, at least you thought they were special—because of the separation between you and your toxic ex.
Before you two had split your relationship had been decent. Despite that though, you were incredibly in love with him, but the same wasn't reciprocated in a way that emotionally gave back. He'd make excuses as to why he wasn't open to you, his reasoning that he "loved differently" and that if you really loved him you would believe him. So you did. Over, and over, and over again. Hoping that the days where he showed up like in the beginning would become more frequent, but your willingness to stay was how he knew he could toy with you.
He had been your first when you had finally agreed to be an item when you were in your early twenties and it took a long time to finally separate from him when things got bad. In addition to dealing with the conflicting feelings of your then-boyfriend, your friends who only wanted the best for you, and your close family members, you also had to deal with yourself. Nights and days spent venting and breaking down about the man had become so common that your friends' concerns grew. You had so many negative thoughts at that time and you were naive to truly believe that there was a happy ending to overcome this predicament. That his way of loving could change for both of you. His manipulative questions would often linger in your head if you left him, and who were you to argue? When arguments would start to come up again almost weekly, it always ended up with you an emotional mess while he "proved" to you that he was the only one who could handle you.
When your ex noticed you started to pull away, he suddenly had an interest in starting a family. Late nights where you two would lay in bed after making up, he'd share his daydreams about you mothering his children, how beautiful and perfect you'd be to fit in his little world.
Family this, family that. Family values, family roles, family life. You two had been friends since you both were in high school, and it only made sense that you two were dating now and getting married soon. Hell, he even made you question what would your family think if you were "running around" instead of being faithful to him. Imagine the embarrassment to your family if you threw all of that away and weren't able to find someone else like him?
People talk, people notice. Many of the older women noted how great you two looked together, and he was well off with a great future that could support you both. Neither did it help that you changed your once passionate future for being a pro-hero to a different career that was deemed less reliable than your previous choice. It was in your best interest that you stayed with him to avoid the awful gossip in town.
When you haven't been in a situation like yours with an inconsiderate lover, it's hard to understand why you stayed as long as you did. Consequently from being his friend for so long and dating him for years meant he knew the sort of things to target your psyche. To reinforce the pressures you had of making your family look good, mixed with the hidden fears of the burden of following the footsteps of your successful siblings as well.
It was a lot to take in and it wasn't long before you gave in. You just wanted him to be who he was again. The stress only grew older with you and the more time that passed had a looming connotation that the older you got the more undesirable and unfit you are to find another relationship. Even past that, you gave so many years to him. You were a virgin when you two had met, and he had already been around. He knew how to kiss you right, he memorized your soft spots and remembered the best ways to make you come undone. He'd expertly sweet talk you after each session, and on days when you were feeling down he would be the first person to show up, usually bearing gifts of some sort coupled with affection. You couldn't understand what had changed. Why did he decide to start treating you like this? You were vulnerable and scared, and nothing like the familiar could ease the fabricated feeling of comfort.
You thought that having his child would finally fix things but you were so wrong. So very, very wrong. After your first semester in the pregnancy, you had heard talk about people seeing your supposed boyfriend—the father of the child you were soon to birth—with other women. Of course, you didn't believe it, and you refused to listen when your friends tried to tell you. In this stage, you were mostly shut in, as this was taught to be the best preparation for giving birth. You couldn't fathom the fact he would stoop so low. He had his low moments, but not like this. He would never.
He had disconnected you from everyone who had truly cared for you and even convinced your family that you were safe and protected with him. It wasn't until one evening when he had the gall to meet one of his mistresses outside of your house is when you realized it was all true, but it was all too late.
You were an emotional wreck for days. You had hit your lowest and it didn't help that your delivery date was getting closer every day that passed. You'd weep to yourself when you were sure he wasn't around and soon enough the house that you had (forced) yourself to love had once again become a prison. A night when you were tired of the pain is when you decided to reach out to your friends and family again. It was a shameless plea for help and you didn't care how desperate you looked and you wanted out. At first, your parents weren't supportive of the fact that you wanted to leave the man but you didn't care. You wanted to leave everything behind and not give this horrible chapter in your life a look back ever again. With enough talking and white lies, you were able to make a workaround to at least get back up on your feet after your delivery.
The delivery of your daughter, Niyuki, was thankfully a smooth one. Not at all enjoyable but very few complications came along the way when the time came. You had made a deal with your parents that you would stay with them so you could comfortably recover from the delivery whilst being able to safely be under their vision when your ex and his in-laws would come over. Your friends started to visit when you were healing more and had even convinced you to go out with them which you hadn't done for over a year. You were utterly scared as you had missed such a large chunk of socialization that even you didn't think you could do it. But once the night started, you didn't want to go back.
One night out became two, then three, four, five, and so on. The time you were home lessened and it didn't help that your friends were more than willing to let you take refuge at their homes. It wasn't like you were going crazy but the high that you got from drinking and even sometimes having flings became addicting and it felt satisfactory in the way you felt autonomy over your body once again.
You'd ignore the calls from your parents and family including your in-laws, especially any communication from your ex. You had ghosted the situation. The most emotionally taxing period of your life was now being forcefully ignored. You'd spend your time if not partying, then out clubbing. Even when you weren't out on benders, you'd stay up all night and indulge in the fact you were being taken care of by friends. And while you deeply appreciated their hospitality, it was also a double-edged sword. You had dropped out of college, you were no longer reliable and the flings and high feelings were no longer distracting you from the fact that you had some serious issues to deal with.
It got to a point where you'd lay in whoever's spare room and drown in thoughts about the situation you were in. A year before then, you had been stuck with your ex, and somehow a year and a half later you had no idea what that situation was like in that home.
Anxiety and suffocating emotions would swallow you often as the memories of your toxic and abusive ex would soon follow the baby girl you had given birth to. Niyuki. You'd remember her smile, the way she giggled, and how active she was. Although you had only spent about a few months or so with her, you'd remember her bright smile. You'd remember the way her eyes shone when she looked at new things or heard new words—how her face always lit up when she heard your voice, felt your presence, or saw your face. The emptiness without her would eat at you and it was time to forcefully welcome a new cycle of you falling into a depression once again.
At this point, you had lost your job, didn't have any urge to pick up any new hobbies or skills and you'd lay in bed all day. Going out until early mornings trying to ignore the fact that you weren't happy in your current state no longer worked anymore. It was a draining process to get back up but you were willing to give your life a go again. You started looking for jobs that hopefully had good pay and were willing to hire someone with this big of a time gap in their resume. While still couch hopping, you still had places to stay so fortunately you didn't need to worry about that.
When you eventually came around to wanting to be in Niyuki's life again, it was too late. Of course, when you had finally decided to start to better yourself and the suffocating feeling of postpartum had slowly dwindled over time, he was there to make sure that you couldn't take control back of your life. Your ex had found out why you had been gone for so long and eventually had things filed so that he would have sole custody. It seemed as though no matter what you did, he was always ten steps ahead of you. And this time you knew that your support from your family was even less than before.
He had swindled the courts and your families to the point that he painted you as a deadbeat and to the courts, it didn't seem as though there was any evidence to contradict that. Eventually, as you went through counseling and legal support were you able to at least gain visitation, an absence of early childhood not being any signs or indicators that you were unfit to see your own daughter.
It was humiliating settling back into your life and getting back up on your feet. Your parents demanded that you would stay with them as a reassurance that you were serious about getting your shit together and you didn't want to argue. Although with their calloused nature sometimes, they did take care of you well. You couldn't tell what they were thinking but they treated you as gently as they could. Even your family members would come and help out from time to time and it made your recovery better. As stated by the courts, as long as the grandparents (either your parents or in-laws) were there to supervise, a social worker, or the dreaded last option, your ex, was there you would be able to spend time with your daughter.
Months would pass and soon years would follow. When you had shown no signs of negligence or malice occurring in your visits, the judge allowed that you didn't need supervision. Your ex protested but it went unheard. Plus your willingness to get your life together showed your dedication so it was a blessing that you were able to get back to a somewhat decent and regular life despite what has happened. Of course the label that had been placed on you wasn't fully gone, but you were at least able to see your own daughter again.
Which is why you deeply cherish moments like this. After inspections at your apartment, the courts approved that your daughter has now been allowed to stay a few days at your place, and this weekend she was scheduled to stay with you. She would get dropped off by him on Thursdays after school, but you limited the talk to only what was important. Usually, on the first day you get her for the week, you do something with her that she's been wanting to do. As much as you wanted to do it right away, you did make sure her homework was done (she would do it at school just so she could spend more time with you though). Despite her determination, you would still check her work and teach her the things she got wrong much to her dismay. You'd make sure you're on time to drop her off to her evening classes and still wake up early to cook her breakfast every Friday morning. Then you'd drop her off and then pick her up at the end of the day seeing as she had no evening classes on weekends.
"We're here, we're here!" Niyuki cheered, the sweet but mischievous smile never leaving her face when around you.
"It's so pretty out! Wanna get some ice cream, Niyuki?"
"Yes, please!"
After you park your car you hop out and help her out of her seat, holding out your hand for her to take as she knows the routine already. Niyuki admires the familiar park although she has been to numerous times. The way she gazes at everything looks as though this is her first time seeing the place, and this kind of wonder behind her eyes isn't unique to this particular place. No matter how many times she has been somewhere or seen something, her eyes always shine with curiosity and wonder. You can't help but watch her with a faint smile, never wanting to forget what her face looks like ever again.
"Which ice cream do you want, Niyuki?" You ask once you two reach the truck, an assortment of colorful ice cream pictures is decorated on the side of the vehicle.
"Hmm…." Niyuki thoughtfully hums. She raises her free hand to comically tap on her chin as she thinks, the gesture urging a laugh from both you and the ice cream salesman. "Can I have the one with the," She leans closer and points to it, "SpongeBob with the bubblegum, please!"
You think to yourself as you settle for something that's to your tastes, relaying your order to him and searching for your wallet to pay for the cold, sweet treats.
You look over at the man and he nods before leaving to the back, "Coming right up."
In no time at all you two are grabbing ice cream and heading to the playscape. Today was a bit hotter than what you were both expecting so you made a challenge that whoever was able to eat their ice cream without being messy gets to go to bed late tonight. You knew you'd win but it was still amusing to challenge her as her bright spirit came along with a competitive one.
In the midst of you two finishing up your ice cream, a younger but familiar voice calls out to your daughter. You look around confused before spotting a younger girl running towards Niyuki and then engulfing her in a bear hug.
"Mizuki!" Your daughter squeals as they both tightly embrace, her popsicle long forgotten now.
"I didn't know you were coming to the park today!" Mizuki said as she pulled away, still holding onto her best friend. Their bond started from the mere fact that their names sounded similar.
"Yeah, my mommy brought me!" Niyuki pulls away to pull at your dress.
"My dad brought me as a surprise, so I guess it's okay we didn't know!"
The two of them were pretty endearing you couldn't lie. They had been to the same Pre-K together before attending elementary together.
So far you had only met her mother and she was pretty kind. You only knew so much about her though and to your knowledge, she is happily engaged at this point. You two would talk often when the two played, often sharing play dates when it was your turn to have Niyuki on the weekends. That's how Niyuki and Mizuki were able to twin, have sleepovers, etc. While having other friends at school, those two were joined at the hip.
That's why you were utterly confused to hear about her father.
You knew nothing about him except for the fact that he and Mizuki's mother mutually decided that things just weren't working out. It's not like she knew much about your ex either. It seemed as though the separation of parents helped bond the two kids, but you felt saddened at how completely different the two situations were. You sometimes worried if Niyuki was embarrassed by this knowing it wasn't always easy at school due to the teasing.
"Mizuki!" A deeper voice calls out to the young girl. With the young girl's name being called, she turns around and excitedly waves him over. You pause in your tracks as you take him in.
Ashy blonde hair that resembles an explosion sits at the top of his head smothered in appearance by his hat, while his eyes are also covered by a pair of what appeared to be designer sunglasses. He sported a relaxed fit, a gray tank top with a light mesh patterned throw-over that did nothing but tease the muscles underneath the cloth, the colors on it being black and white. The look is finished off with black baggy pants and some boots. You could tell he was attractive even without the cover-up. As you finish up the assessment of your daughter's friend's (hot) dad, it occurs to you the fact that he had sunglasses on doesn't hide the fact that you were totally just checking him out.
"Mizuki, I told you to stop running off like that." He grabs the young girl and gives her a playful nuggy.
"Sorry Daddy!" Mizuki giggles and slips away from him and runs to hide behind you instead, your daughter following. They both peek from behind you, and you have no other choice but to introduce yourself.
"Hi, you're Mizuki's dad, I'm guessing? I'm Y/N, Niyuki's mom." You smile warmly.
He nods at your assumption, his expression still the same as before. "Katsuki, it's great to finally meet the mother of this other troublemaker's friend." He playfully steps in Mizuki's direction and she immediately runs to your other side, giggling.
Something about him was eerily familiar. You couldn't place your finger on it, but you simply chalked it up to the fact you have probably seen him in passing at a few of their birthday parties or so. But something about that didn't feel right… Either way, you ignore it. It wasn't a bad feeling but the fact you couldn't place your finger on it would later down the road bug you. You decide to ask instead.
"Have I seen you—"
"Daddy, can we go to Niyuki's house to watch movies now?" Mizuki cuts you off in the middle of your question, undoubtedly earning a glare from her father.
"Mizuki, what'd I tell you about interrupting people when they talk?" Bakugo lifts his sunglasses this time, his gaze revealing he was solely looking at her.
She pouts using you as a shield once again before tugging on your clothes. "Sorry oba-san…" Mizuki says with one of the deadliest puppy faces you've ever seen. There was no doubt she was one of the cutest 6-year-olds you have ever seen. How could you be annoyed with a look like that?
"It's okay, Mizuki. What were you asking?" You ask them and turn better, bending down a bit to be at both of the girl's levels.
"Can we please watch movies in Niyuki's playroom? Pleeaaseeee?" Mizuki asks and your daughter steps up to beg as well.
"Please, Mommy!! We'll be good too!" Niyuki reasons.
"I'm not sure, ladies…" You trail off as you consider that maybe Katsuki himself probably planned out for the afternoon and didn't want to forcefully make him commit to an impromptu earlier playdate.
"It's alright." Katsuki pipes up and you three look back at him. He lightly shrugs and answers as if he could read your mind, "We were going to play it by ear for the rest of the day anyways."
The two children couldn't quite comprehend the second bit of what he said, but they did understand that it was a yes from what he said in the beginning. They gleefully look at you and start tugging and hugging at you.
"Please, Mommmyyy!" Niyuki pleads, now joining in on giving you a hard to disapprove of puppy look as well.
You lightly laugh and nod your head, finally pulling them in for a proper hug and then giving them a tickle to fend off their offensive stance. "Okay, okay! We can do the movie night! But I want you two to at least spend an hour or so here before agreeing to let you two be cooped up inside for the night."
"Okay!" They exclaim in unison. The moment they break free of your grasp is when they run to the playscape. You sigh as you stand up and give Katsuki a soft smile before properly sitting down on one of the benches. He's close second to following your lead, you both now watching as the two girls play with each other as well as other kids. It seemed most parents decided today was a great day to let their kids out. Mostly because it would tire them out for the night which was a plus.
"I wasn't expecting Niyuki's mother to be so beautiful," Katsuki randomly says, cutting the silence. You look at him with a surprised look on your face, a blush starting to rise on your complexion.
"I could say the same for Mizuki's father." You bashfully laugh and un-subconsciously move to adjust your clothes. Admittedly you were not as designer dressed as he was, nor were you in your best fit. One thing to notice other than his attractiveness is that he has impeccable style. Something that shocked you a little since men in their 20s (especially with kids) don't seem to care too much these days. It wouldn't shock you if he had some sort of unconventional job.
He turns to you when you respond, a teasing smirk now dawning on his face. You don't miss the look-over he gives you and you're sure that he wasn't trying to hide it either. "You know they'll be all tired before they reach halfway through the first movie…"
"That is true…" You play into his words as you look forward instead. You feel your heart start to race when he rests his arm on the back of the bench behind you. You could feel the warmth of his skin through the cloth and welcome it. The weather was too hot but his touch was something you were starting to get curious about. "I guess that'll just leave us two to relax then."
"I could help you with that, I'm a pro at saving people."
You hum at his words, "You're a chivalrous man, that's uncommon these days," a teasing smile to rival him now finds its way on your face. "What else are you good at, Katsuki?"
"I'm also really good with my hands." Katsuki humors you, his hand shifting near your shoulder where his arm lay. "Pretty strong too."
"Ah, so those muscles aren't just for show?" Feeling bold, you reach to rest your hand on his thigh, his muscles immediately flexing under your touch.
He leans in closer to whisper in your ear as he answers, his hand now resting lightly on your shoulder. "I gotta make sure I'm always in shape to save beautiful women like you."
A buzzing near your touch catches you off guard as you try to not completely fold at his words. A catchy ringtone soon follows the buzzing and it's now apparent that what you were feeling was his phone. He pulls away with a huff and pulls out his phone, excusing himself as he answers it.
You exhale a breath you didn't realize you were holding in as he leaves. You can't remember the last time you had talked to a male, much less flirted. Most of your days surrounded working and finishing up school as you wanted nothing but the best for your kid. You didn't go out often anymore, and if you did, you only stuck around with your friends. You couldn't complain but feeling so affected like this was starting to make you feel nervous, almost like when you had got back out into the dating world the first time. You tried not to think about those thoughts.
Now, you were back to watching the girls again and they seemed to be having a blast. The day's heat didn't phase them at all and they played to their heart's content. It seemed as though they were playing cops & robbers with the other kids, and honestly, you didn't care what they were doing as long as they were being safe. The good thing about the friendship between the two was that they always looked out for each other; never mind the fact that their circumstances brought them closer together.
Even with how hard you've been trying to do this mother thing, inescapable thoughts always plagued your mind. Mainly about the fact if your daughter truly wanted to stay with you. This whole arrangement of only getting to see your child three days a week has been going on for about a year and some change now. You know that it'd be too early for her to get "tired" of you, but you can't help the fear of her getting sick of you. One thing was for certain is that you definitely are not as well off as her father although you did make sure to pick up extra shifts when you wanted to get her something real nice.
However, your moment of contemplation comes to an end when two girls come barreling towards you, their approaching giggles making you snap out of your thoughts.
"Mommy!"
"Yes?" Your eyes refocus and you smile softly at the two girls, their wild energy showing how much they truly were out there on the playground having fun.
"Can we have some ice cream please!" Mizuki asks, tugging your arm.
"Please, please, please, PLEASEEE!" Niyuki begs.
You gape a bit overwhelmed at the two young energies, trying to reason with yourself as Niyuki had already gotten ice cream prior. You were sure her best friend did as you knew that both her parents loved to spoil her—even before you had an introduction to Katsuki. It was a hot day and you didn't seem to mind, you were getting pretty hot as well…
"... Okay, but that's the last before we head home! When you finish, that's enough park time."
Your answer is to their standards as they both shower you with affection to thank you for caving into their cuteness. You roll your eyes but the smile doesn’t disappear as you keep an eye on them as they wander to the truck.
"Sorry 'bout that," The new but familiar voice calls out as he walks up to you. "Important business and shit."
Your brows raise at the casual curse and laugh a little, folding your arms as you look up at him. "No problem, but I did tell them that we will be leaving as soon as they finish their ice cream." You inform, nodding your head towards their direction as you keep an eye out for them.
"Great timing, I was about to talk to you about that."
— ✮ ★ ☆ —
The two girls were happier than ever riding together back to your apartment. They sang along to their favorite songs, played I Spy, and talked about all sorts of things you expect from children. It's easier to tune them out when you're around them long enough.
Their excitement continued when you got to your home. As soon as you reached your unit the two beelined to the kitchen after dropping their shoes and bags at the door. And yes, you guessed it, they had matching pairs too. Niyuki knew to go to the kitchen first thing though as she knew you would make something in the meantime before the movie started.
"You two know the rules! Stay near the island to avoid getting bit by sharks!" You called out to them as you fixed up the entryway. You listen out to hear them, still hearing them squeal and toy around in there. You slip off your shoes, adding them to the rest of the shoes before lazily pulling on your house slippers. "The sharks are coming in five… four… three…!" Your warning does the trick as by the time you reach the kitchen they're both sitting in their respective seats and both looking mischievous and peeking at you behind their hands. You make a show of surveying the room as if you can't see where they are and the girls are now "safe" for following your directions. "It seems as though the sharks are clear!"
They celebrate the win, now eager to watch you work your magic.
You three had a fun time as you tried your best to make sure they were safe (the entire time you were internally panicking to make sure everything was okay). Niyuki liked watching you cook and you were more than happy to help her learn as well as do some hands-on stuff. It was only natural that her best friend would follow suit in her curiosity. Niyuki's sole enjoyment of watching you cook is what encourages you to do it more often and get better at it too.
Now there was an assortment of snacks aside from their main meal. It was true that you spoiled her a wee bit when she was with you, but you couldn't help it. Niyuki was your everything and when times were needed you were able to say no.
Once you set up their bowls with their food, the doorbell rings. You figured it was the man who would make another appearance for the night.
"Alright girls, bring your food to the room." You command and watch them leave before making it out into the hallway, finally answering the door when they are both in the designated room. "Katsuki!" You smile and open the door wider.
The blonde-haired male grins at you and holds up the childishly bright bags for Mizuki. "Sorry for taking so long. This should be everything." You nod and reach for it, his actions making you pause as he pulls it a bit towards him as if to hold it from you. "Is it alright if I see Mizuki before I leave?"
You feel your skin flush in embarrassment, hastily stepping to the side and opening the door more to let him in. "I-I am so sorry! Of course, you can," You close the door and lock it behind him when he finally steps in and gets his shoes off. He doesn't need much introduction when two heads pop out from the doorway of the playroom, one squealing in excitement as she runs up to her father to hug him.
"Daddy you're here!" Mizuki exclaims and pulls him in the direction of the room. "Come look at Niyuki's playroom!"
"I'm not sure--"
"No, no it's okay! Let me clean up the kitchen in the meantime." You smile as the three make their way to the room.
Sticking to your word, you waste no time cleaning up. You have a slight hum as you move around the kitchen, appreciating how well today has gone so far. You even met your daughter's best friend, hot dad… who would've thunk? You bite your lip to suppress a giggle that threatens to escape you, a giddy smile still on your face. Gosh, when was the last time you ever found someone attractive? It felt like forever since you've been focusing on parenting, school, and not to mention having a job.
You think about how well the man dressed and how good he smelled. You had to hand it to him, he was really put together and you could see why Mizuki's mother let him in the first place. He didn't seem too bad personality-wise either. Katsuki was the right amount of cheeky and arrogant that was the complete opposite of your ex. It didn't help that his well-defined muscles and physique showed with his great fashion taste. Luckily for you though, Katsuki felt the same way about you.
When he had first seen you, there was no mistaking in the way he immediately found you attractive. Dressed in your form-fitting sundress surely accentuates everything about your womanly body. The way the cloth hung to your mounds and all the beautiful parts of your limbs. But unlike you, he was able to hide how much he was checking you out. Except while indoors he no longer needed sunglasses and he was sure you were feeling the same way about him.
Katsuki's eyes are trained on your butt as you flawlessly move around, the color of your dress perfectly folding around the two globes of your ass as you move. He leans against the doorway once he finally looks up at the back of your head, crossing his arms. "Hey," Katsuki's voice calls out to you. You whip your head around to look at him, eyes enraptured with how attractive the young man is. "Sorry for the weird behavior earlier at the park…"
"It's okay! Really. Stuff comes up sometimes, glad that you were able to get it settled." You turn off the sink and dry your hands, turning to face him as you place the towel on the island in front of you. You don't miss the way his eyes drag down to check out your body.
"The girls will probably knock before they even finish halfway through the movie," Katsuki predicts, his eyes predatory when he looks up at you. "could make it up to you while they're busy."
You shy as you two make proper eye contact. "How could you possibly make it up to me?" You bat your lashes at him, a faint blush heating your skin at the implications of his offer.
An attractive grin spreads across his lips as he pushes off your doorway. "I could show you but it's better if we do it somewhere private."
It takes everything in you to hide the chill that runs up your spine at how he easily toyed with ideas without being so vulgar with it. As if your body is moving on its own, you walk towards him and flash a smile that has equal parts of mischief and seduction.
"I'm interested."
As soon as that door closes behind you two, there is no denying the tension that fills the room. His lips are soft and hot against yours and the feeling has your body tingling. His heavy and calloused hands are tight on your hips as he pulls you closer to his chest, your hands placing themselves on his biceps to try and steady yourself against him. Katsuki hums in satisfaction, tasting your sweet lip gloss on his mouth, teeth moving to nip at your bottom lip to ask for more. You willingly comply and open your mouth although timid about the experience.
You were feeling fresh in the kitchen but now that you two were getting down to it, you were starting to feel shy again. Up until now, it had practically been years since you dated a man, much less kissed or hooked up with one. There was no denying that you were attracted to this man but your mind was starting to cloud with doubts that you wish would just go away. You try to ignore it erstwhile you feel his strong hands slip down to grab your rump through the beloved sundress you wore today.
You softly groan in the kiss as he pulls away, eyes with innocent determination to see this through. His eyes are hot on you and it takes everything in you not to look away. He walks you to your bed, instantly getting on top of you once he has you adjusted to his liking. In a hurry, you move to untie one of the straps on your shoulder, his heavy hand stopping you as he leans into your ear to convey his true thoughts
"'Gonna fuck you in this dress, princess," Katsuki smirks down at you when he pulls away and stands up properly. He tugs you towards the edge of the bed so that your legs hang off the edge, his hands on your hips. He leans down to give your lips a chaste kiss before spreading your legs and kneeling between them. Katsuki's hands softly grip your ankles, the tips of his fingers disappearing at the hem of your dress. His hands slowly drag the fabric up, his hot lips that were once on yours now kissing their way up on your left leg as took his time exposing his skin. "Keep looking at me, baby." Katsuki directs when you lose eye contact with him as he finally meets your inner thigh, his teeth giving the plush skin a teasing bite. You softly whimper, the apparent wet spot on your panties deepening.
He groans at your scent and slightly pulls away to look at your cunt, his hands now placed on the back of your thighs and pressing it to your body. He takes his knuckle to rub up against your labia, adding more pressure once he reaches the top of your cunt to play with your clit. You wantonly moan as he continues to rub at your clit, the fabric of your panties creating a friction that was heavenly but frustrating you greatly. You needed to feel his fingers on you and this wasn't cutting it.
"Katsuki," You breathe out, hips bucking into his handling. He simply hums at you calling out his name, his rubbing slowing down as his gaze now has a teasing glint to it. "N-Need more, please, Katsuki," There's a whimper in your voice, only barely hinting at the desperation that this man can stir inside you.
"More've what?" Katsuki grins at how flushed your expression is, your face dreamy as ever.
"Fingers, need them." You manage to prop yourself up on your elbow as the other reaches down to tug at the panties on your hip. Katsuki snickers at your impatience, his thumb pulling aside your panties to expose your soaked cunt to him. He gives you one last kiss on your inner thigh before he wordlessly dives in.
Katsuki applies his tongue flat against your cunt and gives you a long stripe up until it reaches your clit, just like what he had done with his knuckle moments ago. A breathless moan escapes your lips as he starts to swirl his tongue against the erect bud, his textured and wet muscle taking pride in its work. He closes his mouth around your cunt, leaning more to taste more of the slick that your cunny produces. The vibrations of him moaning from the taste makes you shiver, this feeling of having your cunt licked like this felt so familiar but foreign at the same time. His eyes stay glued to you as he pleasures you, finding everything you do so damn attractive to look at.
Lapping a bit more he pulls away and spits on your cunt using his fingers to lube you up more. He wraps one of his arms around your thigh and holds it to his shoulder, holding you in place as he finally inserts two thick fingers into your cunt. Soon enough, his mouth is back into your count, the tip of his tongue playing with the sensitive bud at the top of your pussy.
The sounds grow increasingly more obscene as he shamelessly laps at your cunt and works his fingers into you. His digits curl to find your g-spot, softly teasing the spot and eliciting more volume from you. You quickly try to hold back how loud you are, walls clenching around his fingers at how good it feels. You bite your lip and suppress a loud groan from slipping out, hips attempting to pull back with no use. Katsuki keeps you locked in close to him and ups the ante by using the tips of your fingers to continue to stroke at the sensitive spot of your g-spot. His tongue now applies more pressure to your clit to bring you further.
"'Suki--" You call out, your hand coming down to grip and tug at his hair. Shivers rack through your body as a long and drawn-out orgasm hits you, his movements aiding to help you bring you down from it. He pulls his fingers out and presses his tongue flat against your cunt to clean up the mess between your legs. You move your hips back in protest and he loosens his grip to let you do so.
You watch with bated breath as he starts to unbuckle his pants, your eyes glued to what is soon to be revealed. Katsuki's movements to get his garment removed are so fluid that you almost miss it when he pulls the condom out from his back pocket. He tears open the soft foil with his teeth and applies the slippery protection onto his hard cock. You instinctively open your legs when he draws closer, a soft mewl leaving your lips when he aligns his tip to your opening.
"You good?" Katsuki softly asks, his other hand holding your thigh open, thumb rubbing your thigh as he awaits your answer. You nod your head and grind your hips against his tip, hand coming up to pull him closer to you as you answer.
"Give it to me, Katsuki."
The man grins at your plea and lays you on your side, choosing to slowly sink himself into you from your approval. The obscene moan you let out gets covered up by Katsuki's lips finding itself upon yours again, happily taking in your willful noises. At first, he takes long and drawn thrusts, trying to accommodate his size for your comfort. This position allows no remorse and you already knew what you were in for when he put you in it. When you two separate from the kiss, his lips are quick to find your neck, his hands now respectively on your ass and thigh to hold you in place. Amid a deeper thrust, he gives an equally rough bite, the force making you moan. You relax your leg more to allow him to hold you better, him taking your actions as the go-ahead to pick finally pick up the pace.
You feel as though you are on cloud nine with his wet kisses and teasing bites covering your neck, his thrusts and handling furthering your ecstasy. His skin smacks against yours as he starts to get rougher with his thrusts, hands gripping you tighter too. You grip at the sheets below you and tilt your head back, mouth agape as you so desperately try to keep up with him. He gives your ass a spank when he feels your pussy clench around him, an animalistic growl coming from him as he repeats this. He pulls away from your half-covered chest and glares at the top of your dress, now getting annoyed at the article of clothing.
Katsuki doesn't slow his hips for a second as he more than easily rips open the top of your dress and earns a discontent whine from you that gets forgotten when he presses a bit deeper into your cunt. His lips press themselves to your newly exposed skin, his tongue happily taking in one of your nipples to suckle and nibble on. There's no mistaking that he's having free reign in the marks on your skin but you're too wrapped on how everything feels to care. An expletive leaves your mouth in a string of whispers when he angles his hips to hit your g-spot, prompting you to reach down and rub your clit for more stimulation.
"Fuck," Katsuki cusses under his breath as he leans up to watch you take his cock, nails digging into your skin and enjoying the way your pussy envelopes his cock. Not to mention the hot visual of you playing with yourself furthering his contentment. He lifts your leg a bit under your knee and quickens his pace. He watches with hungry eyes as your tits bounce at the force, a pretty face to match and his marks all over your body's skin. He groans as his thrusts start to feel heavier, his orgasm impending. He nearly loses it when you grind back against him to chase your release.
There was an air of innocence that surrounded you but everything you did said otherwise. Katsuki simply couldn't get enough of you and he simply didn't want to. Fuck, he wasn't expecting his daughter's best friend mom to be super hot and sweet.
"C-Cunming…!" You mewl, brows scrunch in concentration as you finish off on his cock. His swift thrusts help in coaxing it out of you, slick dripping from your cunt and messy-ing up your inner thighs. He swoops down to give you an open kiss, tongue pressed against yours haughtily as he follows your climax with his own after a few more pumps.
After a few lazy and exchanged kisses he pulls away, a string of saliva connecting you two. You laugh a little as you wipe the remnants away. "That's the best I've had in a long time." You jokingly cut the silence, a chuckle from him following.
"Could say the same." He softly grunts, pulling out from you, and gently places your legs down. He effortlessly picks you up and rests you further on the bed where your legs can find refuge on the plush mattress. "You okay, need me to get anything?"
The first question confuses you. To your recollection, you had never been asked that before. Not after sex when the deed has already been done and the willing participant has already had their fill. A pang of displaced emotions starts to wrack up inside you, a nervous laugh coming from you when you realize that you spaced out trying to conceptualize what you had just been innocently asked.
"Y-Yeah, I'm good! Thanks for asking," You smile sweetly and the cute expression earns a pat on the cheek from him. Shamelessly, the gesture shot a jolt of arousal straight to your core.
"You got a bathroom around here?"
Following Katsuki's departure leaves you in silence. There was a feeling of dissonance that you couldn't really place your finger on and the fact it was all coming together was undoubtedly giving you the worst post-nut clarity ever. You didn't regret having sex Katsuki, that wasn't the case, but how not sleazy he was certainly opened up your eyes. The male decency that you have been robbed of for so long was finally starting to settle and you didn't like the feeling one bit. Tears start to burn in your eyes and you desperately try to wipe them away the longer you sit in your thoughts.
Fortunately for you though, the doorbell sounds repeatedly which slowly brings you back to the present. Your once feelings of despair and disgust are now turning into annoyance. You take your time slinking out of your bed, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and huff at how disheveled you looked. The dress that you've been dying to wear was now torn and stretched, the condition bringing a pout to your face.
You undress fully and grab one of your robes to cover yourself up with, the piece is a bit scandalous but covering you well. You quietly make your way down the hall to not wake up the two girls (if they were awake they definitely would've interrupted you and Katsuki) and finally make it to the door. You peer into the peephole and softly gasp at the person behind the door. The doorbell starts to buzz loudly again and you angrily fumble to unlock your door, it now also occurs to you that the noise could be disturbing the two young girls' sleep.
"Are you fucking crazy?!" You greet your ex with much-deserved hostility.
Shindo simply rolls his eyes at your annoyance and crosses his arms as if it were your fault for his impatience. "I called and texted you multiple times. I'm here to pick up Niyuki."
You openly scoff at his demand, standing taller at his attempt at showing his dominance. You mirror his actions and cross your arms too.
"She's staying with me for the weekend. Why are you here?"
Your ex mockingly scoffs at you questioning him, his eyes narrowing as he steps closer.
"I need to explain why I want my daughter to be with me? You know, the parent who never neglected her once in her entire life." Shindo looks you up and down, openly grimacing at how fucked out you look. "You can't even control yourself, you have no shame, do you?"
As much as you try to keep up the strong facade, there is no denying the tightening in your chest. You don't want to admit it but his words hurt you deeply. His toxic words were starting to feel all too familiar and your body was starting to shut down.
"The agreement was that she would stay the weekend with me. Niyuki's having a sleepover with her friend, there's no point of you coming here."
"Do you think I fucking care about a "sleepover" when her mother is busy being a tramp when she's distracted?" He shamelessly accuses and shifts his expression to one of fake pity and concern. "Do you think you deserve her, hm? I mean look at you, running around and can't even stay committed to us even when I've tried."
"Watch how you fuckin' talk to her, asshole."
A voice filled with just as much disdain comes from behind you, the sheer amount of aggression battling Shindo's. You immediately turn to look at him, mind moving faster than your body in your shocked state.
"I'm sorry, who the fuck are you exactly?" Shindo tilts his head and reaches out to push the door further to reveal who the man is. He freezes when a blonde and spiked hair catches his eyes first, his mockery of emotions from earlier now turning into real anger and a hint of fear. "Bakugo-?!"
Katsuki grabs the edge of the door and pulls it open wider to allow him more space to pass, making sure not to harm you as he gets between you and your toxic ex. "You wanna repeat that, dickhead?" He fists up his shirt and backs him away from the door. "Is that how a hero treats a woman, eh?"
Shindo curses under his breath, fighting against him. The mach attitudes between the two start to boil over as it's obvious that they have met prior. When it escalates to more than words, you start getting a bit fearful. A more aggressive push from Katsuki prompts you to call out for them to stop. One thing about your ex is that he hated being out matched and there was no denying that Katsuki seemed like the type of guy to beat that out of him. It wasn't until their exchange seemed to elevate in volume and another light next door turned on. You plead for them to stop again, your hand lightly tugging at Katsuki's arm although knowing your touch wouldn't be able to do shit against a muscled man like him. Eventually they do stop on Katsuki's accord, both breathing heavily as they stare down at each other. Your ex aggressively scoffs and shoves Katsuki away from him as he looks between you two, gathering himself.
"Have fun with the little gold digger, Dynamight," Shindo says lowly and bumps shoulders with Katsuki as he leaves.
A heavy silence is left in his wake between you and Katsuki. You tiredly rub your face and breathe out a sigh, the exhale soon turning into a dry sob. Katsuki fidgets awkwardly before reaching out to you and pulling you close, letting you rest your forehead on his chest.
"Fuck, he stresses me out," You mumble against his tank, wiping away your tears. "I'm sorry you had to witness that…"
"Hey, he's fuckin' douchebag, alright? Who gives a fuck what he thinks." Katsuki pills away a bit to cup your chin and forces you to look up at him, the gesture warming your cheeks. "Let's get you cleaned up and you can rant about whatever the fuck you want, it's getting cold." He holds the collar of your robe and gives it a playful tug. You softly nod your head then lead him inside.
— ✮ ★ ☆ —
It had only been two days since you had first met and slept with Katsuki and the smile on your face never seemed to disappear.
Thinking about the man easily brought butterflies to your chest, memories of you two keeping you on cloud nine. After you two had gone back inside Friday night, he had comforted you in many ways. It felt silly to say it—that the foreign feeling you were getting in your chest only had one name: a crush. Not full-blown but enough that every time you thought about your Friday night—past the awful interaction with your ex-boyfriend—was one of the best times you have ever enjoyed yourself with a man.
Katsuki did listen to you. He cleaned you up, cuddled you, kissed you throughout, and eventually you two even two more rounds. Never had you felt so comfortable, so… domestic. It was evident that your bright attitude was something your daughter noticed too.
"Mommy?" Niyuki calls out from the doorway, successfully gaining your attention.
You press the small bento box you were prepping Mizuki to take home closed, a smile on your face as you welcome your daughter to make her way to you. "What's up, munchkin?"
"I have to tell you something," She tugs at your pajama pants, a look far from playful or childish in her eyes. You feel your heart sink a bit at how serious she is, bending down to get face level with her.
"Niyuki? What's wrong?" You hold her arms and pull her closer to you, trying to keep contact with her as she avoids looking at you.
"I don't want to go to Pa's this week, I want to stay with you."
You're taken back from her confession, unsure of how to process it. "What do you mean, 'Yuki? Don't you want to see daddy-?"
"No, I want to stay with you," Niyuki regains her courage to look up at you, establishing how much she truly feels. "I heard you guys last night. I want to stay with you more. Daddy's house isn't nice, I don't like it there anymore."
"Niyuki, I…" You shamefully look away at the fact she bore witness to that awful exchange last night. You felt awful that she had seen it, much less found out how dysfunctional your relationship is. You pull her in for a hug and nuzzle her hair and she is more than willing to take in your embrace. "I am so sorry you had to see that, baby. Mommy will see what she can do about how you feel being at Daddy's house, okay?" You hold her cheeks in your palms and she nods her head in agreement.
She places a kiss on your cheek and swiftly leaves the kitchen as if the exchange didn't happen, leaving you by yourself in the kitchen. You stare off into the distance at the exchange, not sure what to think or do with yourself. It wasn't until you felt a wet sensation coating your cheeks that you realized you were crying.
Faintly down the hall, you could hear Niyuki nagging at her best friend and the two giggling and playing around as children do. You sit down on the floor and rest against one of the cupboards as your doubts start to ease themselves, everything in your life turning around so fast that it's hard to grasp.
You had thought for the longest time that Niyuki was simply putting up with you. It is no lie Shindo has more resources than you. The money, house, toys, etc. he has everything you don't. He didn't need to work the extra shifts to make sure she had presents for special occasions, he could easily buy the things she needed and wanted. You thought the only things that could make a child satisfied were the things they could see, touch, and have. You didn't think the small things counted, not when you're an adult where a random Friday could have easily been one of her favorite days in her childhood.
You don't bother wiping the tears from your face as you try to pull yourself together, snot and everything clouding your nasal passage. Oddly you felt numb, like the joy you were feeling was foreign. Nothing felt real but you knew you couldn't stay sitting on your kitchen floor silently crying as you desperately tried to register what the hell your body was going through at the moment. You weakly pull yourself up using the counter to grab a paper towel from the dispenser on the counter and obnoxiously blow your nose into it. You mumble a few cuss words under your breath as you attempt to freshen up as you try coming down from the emotional rollercoaster of this weekend. As much as you wanted time to process this, doing it in a home with a kid who could barge in at any minute was hard. Especially when there are two.
The doorbell rings and you glance at the time on the stove. It was a bit early for Mizuki's mother to pick her up, but you decided you'd just invite her in until the child was ready to leave.
You lazily walk over to the door and peer into the peephole to double-check, your face twisting into an expression of shock as you pull open the door and wordlessly confront the person on the other side.
"... Do you normally answer the door looking a mess?" Katsuki teases, giving you a look over and lingering at the places he seems to like.
You jokingly nudge him and roll your eyes, crossing your arms as you stand a bit taller, feeling your heartbeat pound against your chest. "Haha, very funny." You sniffle and wipe your cheek, the gesture not going unnoticed.
"Did something happen? Did that prick come over and harass you again?" Katsuki grows angrier at the idea, his expression souring.
"No, no, it wasn't that." You quickly ease his concerns and this time remind yourself to look around to make sure there aren't any extra ears before stepping out and closing the door behind you. "This morning, Niyuki told me she wants to stay with me, not just on the weekends." You look up at him finally, your lips immediately curling into a soft smile once you're able to say it out loud.
He grins and pulls you in for a hug, giving you a squeeze when you wrap your arms around his shoulder and squeal. He rocks you back and forth before pulling away while maintaining his hold on your waist. "This shit feels unreal, you know?" You lightly laugh as you look up at him, a radiant smile on your face.
"Her mother is amazing, of course she'd want to stay with you." Katsuki gives your hip a squeeze with his free hand, the action pulling your attention to the solid object digging into your side, the feeling making you look down at his hand.
"Oh," Katsuki steps back and holds up a slim, medium box that had a ribbon tied around it, holding it up for you. "Here."
"For me?"
"Who else, dumbass?"
You snort at his bluntness and shoot him a playful glare as you open the gift. It takes you a few seconds to realize what it is, a gasp following your surprise at the expensive dress, and start to close it back up. "Oh my god, I-I can't have this!"
"Why not? You'll look perfect in it." Katsuki pulls you closer with his hand that was still on your hip, his other landing on your abandoned one. "Pretty girls deserve pretty things."
You playfully push him away and look at the box again before looking up at him. "Seriously, for me?"
"Yes." Katsuki holds your chin up and softly rubs your bottom lip under the pad of his thumb. "And you better get used to it, I'll be buying you a lot of those."
"Why?" You laugh, leaning into him and tilting your head up to challenge him.
"'Cuz I'll be tearing a lot more stuff off of that pretty body of yours," He leans closer to brush his lips against yours with a smirk on his face, "Plus, I need an excuse to see you again."
He seals his promise with a kiss, hands coming up to hold your waist as he presses himself against you.
— ✮ ★ ☆ —
It had been a few months since you and Katsuki had officially started dating. Your mood significantly has changed for the better and made it a lot easier to adjust to having your daughter now finally staying with you instead of her father.
It was hard being able to advocate for yourself but the verdict was in favor since the child should be able to choose where to stay. It did help the fact that your new boyfriend, who you had learned and realized is a top pro-hero in the country, just so happened to bring the best kind of reputation to the courts.
As adults do, you did talk to Mizuki's mother before deciding to fully go through with dating the man. Ultimately it is true that she can't decide what you two do, but you owed it to her for being such a good friend to you and didn't want to step over any toes. She was more than happy to give her blessing and practically threw him over to you, more than happy to let things rest since she is soon to be married anyway.
There was nothing that could prepare you for this turn of events and every day it was easier to wake up feeling happy and blessed. Currently, you just got your culinary degree so that also means one less stress and burden off of your shoulders and another venture soon on the horizon: a head chef.
You just adjusted your graduation gown and looked around for your family, your face immediately lighting up seeing them not too far from where the graduates are exiting. It took almost everything in you not to run in excitement when you were finally able to make it towards them.
"Congratulations, honey!" Your parents are first to engulf you in a hug, the rest of the group close behind. You chuckle as two smaller bodies take your legs, none other than Niyuki and Mizuki claiming each side.
"Congratulations, Mommy!" Niyuki grins up at you.
"Thank you, Niyuki." You lean down to kiss her on the forehead and do the same for Mizuki.
"Do I get a kiss too?"
You look up at the inquisitor, a grin sprouting out on your face as you stand back up. "Of course."
He pulls you in and gives you a kiss, the action getting a mix of responses to the show of affection. Katsuki presents to you a beautifully arranged bouquet along with a promise that there were a lot more gifts back at his place.
Most days in the past you prayed for times like this, but now you were happy you didn't have to anymore.
Tumblr media
    all rights reserved © do NOT steal, alter or copy this work.
705 notes · View notes
lilastromama · 1 year
Text
what i love about different zodiac signs/placements 🍷 [2]
___________________________
aries lilith: their willpower. it might not always be for the positive, but theyre willing to do everything in order to get what they want, everything. Theyre ruthless. Im not saying thats GOOD, but its not always a bad trait either. go babes
saturn in the 8th house: how the universe doesnt play about them. this has less to do w their personality, and more to do with how inclined they are with spirit. fool them once, youre not gonna be able to fool them twice anyways. The universe always whips out the uno reverse card on you if u make the mistake to hurt them. Just something i have experienced a hell lot
capricorn sun: their balance (?) listen idk how to put this in words the right way, but so many caps ive met have this certain balance. being calm, kind, patient. And then theyre loud, chaotic, angry, funny, make the best jokes and are the most noticeable in the room. U never know what u get, and i like that
aquarius moon: aquas have never been an easy ride for me, gotta be honest. but the one thing i hold them high up for, is how they dont always "fit in" and yet are still chillin. I have always found strength in being (excuse my language) "outcast" like. Its good to have a mind of your own, and not always walk the way others take, or tell u to go. Please keep questioning things, keep doing you. (as long as it doesnt harm anyone) its a great thing to be unique, its a power move. Its actually something we could all have/do a little more of.
virgo sun: their confidence/support level. Ive noticed a lot of virgo suns to be hype-women/men/people. they support u the best they can, give compliments not even models have ever heard, and make u feel like ure on top of the world. and in women (as i am one, and have experienced this ESPECIALLY with virgo women) they give the best instagram comments. U know which ones im talking about. Those "Omg, i hear vogue calling youu already!!" 🎈comments. Theyre the best at it.
cancer mars: its funny bc cancer is in its fall when its in mars, its not specifically a sought out placement to have. But there is something about those individuals that remind me of female rage. LISTEN 👹 it takes a lot for cancer mars people to noticeably lose their shit, they almost never do it in front of others, they keep quiet mostly. But WHEN they show their pent up emotions, its time to call 911. go home and get the gun, NOW.
9th house individuals: Their minds. Yes, yes, yes. If u like deeptalks, like to spiral down the rabbit hole and back up, talk to these people. they make amazing teachers, leaders, people which are there to guide and learn you. They have incredibly fast minds, they analyze and calculate QUICKLY. those are the people which u go to when ur ex posted a new pic and u wanna know whos in it. Give them about 3 seconds and they will find out, including where their great grandfather lives. A pleasure <3
2K notes · View notes
firesnap · 2 months
Note
i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.
ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?
its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?
im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.
This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.
I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.
This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.
My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.
With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.
Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.
(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)
But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.
148 notes · View notes
zeldasnotes · 1 year
Text
LILITH NOTES PART. 5
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
These are my personal observations and not facts!
Check out my MASTERLIST for more posts about Lilith and other asteroids.
Tumblr media
•Barack Obama got Lilith conjunct Mercury 0° orb and he is so incredibly funny and videos of his speeches always go viral and leaves people in shock (in a positive way). The way he introduced himself as ”Michelles husband”. I think Lilith conjunct Mercury is a sign of high intelligence and people reacting strongly to what you say.
•People with Lilith in hard aspect to Sun can get into a lot of conflicts in their lifes because they feel a strong need to express their honest feelings. Its a part of who they are and they wont back down.
•Lilith trine/sextile Mars makes someone very strategic.
•People with conjunctions/squares to Lilith might become mean at one point in their life because people always saw them as bad anyways so why not? People are gonna hate anyways you might aswell give them a reason.
•Most Lilith dominants I know are super independent, and from a young age. Like started working early in their life, doing stuff on their own, having their own company etc.
•Lilith dominant women experience a lot of complicated love/hate situations with men because men find them intriguing but at the same time finds it hard to genuinely ”like” the Lilith woman since he feels threathened by her. Which leads to being mean to her while being obsessed with her.
•Biggie Smalls having Lilith in the 8th house and being not only accused of his best friends death but also being killed himself.😔
•Lilith just like Pluto can turn out differently in a chart based on how you use that power and what other aspects you have in your chart. Just like Pluto you NEED to take control where your Lilith is OR you will be controlled. With Lilith in hard aspect to Sun or Ascendant you need to show dominance bc people will want to put you down otherwise. With Moon conjunct Lilith you might need to be a b*tch towards other women or they will victimize YOU. Moon conjunct Lilith is common in peoples chart who gets hated on by other women but its also common in people like Beyonce, she got Moon conjunct Lilith and women worship her because she got that dominant powerwoman persona.
•Lilith Square/Opposite/Conjunct Moon can also show that you subconsciously got a bad view on women but as you grew up it changes when you learn how its actually society pitting us against eachother. Look at how Beyonce used to behave towards other women 20 years ago when she was in Destinys Child and made the song ”n*sty girl”. Well she was young but anyways she wasnt always a powerwoman. (all women are powerwomen in my eyes btw but you get what I mean)
•Rachel McAdams have played sooo many bitchy popular girl roles and in the movie Passion she plays a psychopath. She got Lilith conjunct Midheaven Square Ascendant so it makes sense that she got a raw look that works perfectly for roles like that.
•Angelina Jolie got Lilith in the 8th house Square Sun and I cant help but laugh because she doesnt even care when people call her creepy and scary. Like she be unbothered as hell💀
•Sad Observation: If a guys Lilith is conjunct your Moon he might not show as much interest in you when he is single but be hell bent on sleeping with you when he is in a relationship. He might like the idea of you being his side piece. But in a lot of cases if he is not a disgusting guy like the ones i just describe it can be the opposite, that he is the one who finally sees you for who you really are and loves you and understands the pain you go through like with pluto/moon.
•Ive never met a Lilith dominant person, no matter age that were not super intelligent.
•Also with Moon harshly aspecting Lilith there is a sense of having to fight hard for everything they got. Leading to them always being emotionally ready for a battle and having to suppress their emotions. Just like with Moon/Pluto.
•If you are someone whos usually not intense, not into sex outside of a relationship etc that will change when you meet someone whos planets aspects your Lilith. Especially if its their Venus/Moon. Read more about Lilith in synastry on @corvoideas post HERE
•I was friends with two girls who had Moon conjunct Lilith in Libra. Their moms borrowed their clothes, got involved in their petty teendrama, were obsessive and rude towards their friends. Very weird relationship to their moms. Their moms also had them very young which explains some of the competition.
•If you have Lilith in the 2nd house be careful with people who will try to use you for your money you give off the impression of being financially stable even if you are not. I have friends with this aspect and they all attract men with huge debts. One of them were with a man who had half a million in debt and no job. He wanted my friend to take care of him. People want to take from you and could feel a right to do so.
•When you have Lilith in the 2nd house people view you as someone who got too much. Too much beauty, too much money, too much fame. People are obsessed with what you have so they get close to you to either take it or ruin it for you. Be picky because this is a placement that attracts crazy amounts of envy.
•I know so many men with Lilith in the 10th house who have a reputation for being a douchebag/promiscuous etc. Might also be falsely accused of s*xual assault. I know of a guy with this aspect who is known in our town for sleeping with over 100 guys.
•I know of another guy who got Lilith conjunct his Sun and he got accused of being a ”snitch” and outcasted by the men in his neighbourhood because of this. Lilith dominants really gets to see the worst side of society.
•I know Ive said it before but damn Lilith in the 12th house people are sooo good at hiding their Lilith side. They can come across as so unknowing and ”Eve” like.
•Lilith conjunct/square Sun or Ascendant might be that kid in the neighbourhood that parents dont want their children to play with.
•If you are a s*xworker and you meet a client whos Lilith conjuncts your Venus/Moon be ready to make money 🤑💰
SIDENOTE: Sometimes when I post about how men respond to Lilith dominant women I get comments like ”Not everything is about men,women can exist without male validation you know” . Absolutely! not everything is about male validation thats true but men being uncomfortable in your presence WILL affect your life when you are young w no education because in a lot of places men got the power. If a you are someone who intimidates men it WILL affect you because men like that will make damn sure to put you in your place. Lilith is not only about sexiness and confidence but also about the pain of being a woman. The pain of being considered ”the 2nd gender”. Being punished for being sexual, having a bad reputation because you offended the wrong MAN. Remember that the whole thing with Lilith was that she refused to lay under Adam. So yes Lilith got a lot to do with men. Its also easy for us living in the westworld saying stuff like ”Not everything is about men”. We dont need men like that but how about women in less developed countries? Women who are seen as disgusting for being divorced, women who have to marry someone who r*ped them bc nobody else will marry now that they are not a virgin anymore, divorced women who arent allowed to shake hands with ppl because people think it brings bad luck to touch a divorced woman, women who are in jail for leaving a man. Imagine telling those women to stop thinking that everything is about men.😔
© 2022 Zeldas Notes
2K notes · View notes
icaruspendragon · 6 months
Note
im sorry to ask but i dont know what else to do—how did you do it how did you dig yourself out because it feels like i am choking on dirt and people keep shoveling it onto me and i miss her so much and i dont know how to make this feeling stop. she was my best friend. ive never lived in a world without her before. how did you do it. how are you doing it
grief is so hard and so heavy when we first meet it. it feels like all our arms will ever hold for the rest of forever. and it is, in a sense. once we pick it up, we never really set it down. not fully.
and I don't think it gets lighter, I think we somehow, impossibly, get stronger.
there's lots of metaphors for grief. that's one of them. another one I like to use is that it feels like you're in the grave with them. like lazarus. like yourself. waiting for someone to raise you from the dead. to raise you both.
I've learned a lot about crawling out of the grave. more than I would have ever wanted to learn. like how emptiness is actually quite heavy. or how to pretend like you feel half-alive. but I think the most important thing I've learned is that somedays, we inexplicably end up back in it. and that sucks.
because we just spent months clawing our way through the bugs and the earth. because our soldier-hands have finally breached the surface. because the sun is finally caressing our hell-fresh faces. because for the first time in months we feel like we can finally breath. and then, suddenly, we're right back in the terrible thick of it.
those days make it feel like I'm sisyphus and grave dirt is my rock. or like I'm prometheus and the darkness is my eagle.
but then it's tuesday.
which is to say my brother died on my 25th birthday, a monday. and that day is now a memory that's fuzzy around the edges. single snapshots I know are connected, but I couldn't tell you how. I remember my mother standing in my bedroom and tears and family and phone calls and cleaning my living room because I didn't know what to do with my hands. I remember going to my grandmothers and my phone vibrating off the table and leaving to go get coffee because I couldn't sit still. I remember joking, trying to joke. trying to do whatever I could to make sense of that impossible day. I remember checking my phone and reading and rereading the messages, a mixed bag of congratulations for surviving another year and condolences that my brother didn't, I remember not knowing how to respond to any of them. so I didn't. I remember being surrounded by so many people doing nothing but extending love and kindness to me and never feeling more alone. the world was ending and I was alone. I thought that day would go on forever.
but it didn't.
it ended, as all things do. monday was over and my first day as an only child was done.
and suddenly it was tuesday. and everything was different but also exactly the same.
it was tuesday and my brother was dead. I was so heavy when I woke up that first tuesday. so heavy and confused. I thought the world had ended. it surely felt like it had. but it hadn't. because the world couldn't have ended on monday.
not if it was tuesday.
it was tuesday and my brother was dead but the world wasn't ending. monday should have been our demise, but it wasn't. and it hasn't. and it won't. because just as sure as we have mondays, we'll always have tuesdays.
that's something I've taken a strange comfort in, knowing that we'll always have tuesdays.
the feeling never stops. but I think that's okay. because you're only feeling that way because there was love first. and as much as what I felt on that first tuesday hurts, as much as it suffocates, as much as it consumes, I'd take the hurt and the suffocation and the consumption because the love I felt first will always, always be worth it.
tuesdays will always be worth it.
like yeah, if I loved less, it wouldn't hurt this bad. but I don't want to live in a world where I have to love less. where I was loved less.
I'll take the pain. I'll take the grave days. I'll take the rock. I'll take the eagle. I'll take apocalyptic, earthshaking mondays. I'll take every last wretched bit because goddamn what a miracle it is to love so bad it hurts this big.
I hold that love, his love for me and my love for him, a love that's now become our love in the cage of my ribs while I'm in the cage of the grave. and I dig.
it's monday and I dig.
I dig.
and then tuesday comes.
356 notes · View notes
mariii1 · 7 months
Text
( ʃƪ˘ﻬ˘)(˘ ε˘ʃƪ) What's your sexuality (like)? 18+ (´ε` )♡
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
..........sooo i need to get out of the pattern of making time based promises, I've lied every damn time 😭😭 We'll see when the next pac will come out since im probably gonna do a lot more choices. Let me know if this resonated!
Tumblr media
1. There might be something taboo you're holding back. You might not have delved a lot into your sexuality which isn't inherently bad but there might be a specific part you feel ashamed about. For some you this is about a fetish or your orientation for others its just shame that comes from purity culture/r@pe culture. To get rid of this is different for most, for a lot of you time and gaining more experience in life in general will help you feel more comfotable and for others you may need to take a more active role in getting rid of your conditioning. Y'all might be like me where your into our want to get into fetishgear like latex and maybe want to learn bondage but you may feel isolated in who to talk to and where to go. Getting past these anxious thoughts and actually doing your research is what's gonna help you, you might be procrastinating on this because of your own internal conflict.
2. Lord have mercy...You DO NOT want a romantic relationship or a family 😭😭 its coming through stroonnggly. I think some of y'all could be aro and don't know it. People might've told you you're cold hearted or weird for not wanting to date. For some this is toxic because you don't communicate that you don't want romance to people, which ya needa start if you don't. Yeah some of you in this group might have problems being honest either with yourself or other people. There may be pressure to fit in when there's no real harm if you don't, in this case at least. A lot of you don't believe in traditional relationships or just have no desire for romance. A lot of you are planning to be childless when you're older and if you're thinking about getting sterilized, it might be something to start thinking about seriously.
3. Oooohhh someone KNOWS fr what they want. You have this huge boundary and expectations of what you want and this couod for anything: hooking up, sex with a partner, casual dating, etc. Because of this though you might not have been in a relationship for a very long time. You're very headstrong about this and want a fair and equal relationship. I'm specifically getting a lot of femmes in this pile who are fed up with cis men. I don't have any other comments for you, you seem set in this mindset and if its working for you, great! 👍🏽
4. Me 😜 JK tbh i might be your type for some of y'all the same way I think Che Guevara is finee😩 I'm also getting hopeless romantic from this pile but ive never seen that stereotype as something positive and I feel like in this case you guys pine after people a lot but don't try to make any moves. I feel like you could have multiple crushes currently ir multiple ppl u got ur eye on but you haven't even said hi or anything to them yet. As a fellow introvert and someone who's just starting to try to make friends I get it, but it's time to get out of this mindset and just make the first move even if ppl don't like you or they don't turn out as great as you thought.
Tumblr media
Rainbow divider @enchanthings
229 notes · View notes
gojos-thot-patrol · 1 year
Note
🌶️ nsfw HCs for jjk men 🥵 general sexy times~ what are they like in bed?
ooo, IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UPPPPP!!!
Now Presenting...
Tumblr media
Starring Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, and Ryomen Sukuna.
Tumblr media
Sugru Geto
Cigarettes and feelings keep me Laughing when everything is all fucked up
Tumblr media
C O R R U P T I O N  K I N K  DO YOU HEAR ME?!
He sees himself as dirty and ruined and he needs to see that in you too. 
His loves how you look when you’re choking on his cock
He loves it so much he’s gonna take a picture! He’s big on recording you in your most vulnerable moments
Mirror on the ceiling so you can watch him fuck you stupid
I hope you have a degradation kink cause he's going to call you his stupid fucking whore
But hey! At least you’re his stupid fucking whore!
He needs to push your limits. He needs to see how far you’re willing to go for him, and what you're willing to do to get his praise.
Unlike in your daily life, his praise is rare in the bedroom. That’s what makes it so intoxicating when he finally does give it out. You’re still going to have to work for it though.
CONTROVERSIAL TAKE: he hates to be called daddy. Call him literally anything else, but the moment you say “Daddy” he’s over it
Now Sir on the other hand? Sir will always make him act up, use it strategically, lest you get pounded in a dirty bathroom.
He gives me the vibes of someone that would convince you to drop ex or acid then fuck him for a “religious experience.”
IDK maybe that's just me seeing the cult leader in him.
All of that being said, I also think Suguru has mastered the art of aftercare
During the act he’s a monster, but after? Nothing but praise and love. He’s worshiping your body while cleaning you up, cuddling with you for as long as you’ll let him. 
You need water? He’s getting it. You want a bath? Say no more he’s running it for you.
He never wants you to think he’s just using you for your body.
Even if he is.
Tumblr media
Satoru Gojo
Set my alarm, turn on my charm That's because I'm a good old-fashioned loverboy
Tumblr media
My most controversial Gojo take is that he’s actually not all that experienced
This man has spent his entire life either as a child or raising a child he didn’t have a lot of time for romance.
Not only that, but having sex with someone is an inherently vulnerable position to put yourself in. Man’s got too many enemies for that.
BUT that does not mean that he isn't willing to learn for you!
Gojo is above all else adaptable, and his main goal in the bedroom is to get you off. He’s willing to do whatever you need. 
Honestly, that’s probably his kink. Overstimulation. He wants to make you feel so good you're delirious, he wants to make you cum so hard you forget anything other than his name. 
He is the king of oral. It’s his favorite thing, eating you out through multiple orgrasam until his face is soaked in you. And he’s good at it too. He knows exactly how to make you  melt under him.
His dick isn’t thick, but it is long, and weirdly pretty for a cock. He also uses a ring light to take dick pics. Tell me he doesn’t, you can’t.
He’s also very vocal. He likes when you're loud, it’s how he knows he’s doing something right. So, he’s pretty vocal as well, wanting to let you know just how amazing you make him feel
when he's not telling you about how good you feel, he's kissing you. He LOVES kissing you, its like a drug to him.
Gojo struggles a lot with the feeling that people don’t really like him, so he has a praise kink. On both the giving AND receiving end
I also feel like he’s really into lingerie, and has no problems dropping a paycheck on a new set for you. 
Definition of “There’s a difference between fucking someone and making love.”
God, I hate that phrase but I'm genuinely not sure how else to get my point across lmao
When ya’ll are just fucking, he tries to play the part of a big tough dom, dirty talk galore, overstimulation to the point of tears, the man is a beast.
But in your quiet moments, when you’re, for lack of a better word, making love, there’s a 63% chance he's going to cry.
He gets overwhelmed by his love for you, and the realization that you love him for him, 6 eyes or not. It gets to him. 
And the best part? He’s not even embarrassed by it, because you don’t shame him for it. He’s truly safe with you
Tumblr media
Kento Nanami
Hey pretty baby can you feel that heat? You got me twitchin to the edge of my seat
Tumblr media
Dare I say daddy kink?
I do, I do dare. Nanami knows the type of person he attracts (riddled with daddy issues) and has decided to play into it. 
I feel like Nanami never loses his composure, even in the bedroom. He could be giving you the ride of your LIFE while calmly explaining the stock market to you. It’s part of why teacher Nanami is so appealing to me I’M SORRY-
“Are you paying attention? This is going to be on the test.”
He says as he's skullfucking you into oblivion 
Despite his calm composure, he's big on dirty talk…mostly as a way to ask for consent and gauge how you’re doing at the moment. He’s still Nanami
“You like that Princess?” “Beg for me.” “Tell me what you want,” All phrases that pop up commonly in your bedroom
He’s a panty snatcher, there I said it. He’s taking your panties with him when he leaves your place. You can get them back the next time you two get together. 
He is prone to taking out his frustration on you in the bedroom when he’s had a bad day.
Not that you're complaining, nothing like his thick cock splitting you open after a rough day, amiright?
Public sex. Nanami loves covertly fucking you, in various ways, and watching you try to keep your composure. Be it him finger fucking you under the table, or reminding you that you have guests downstairs while he rails you in your bedroom, he likes to test your volume control.
In a similar vein, phone sex! He’s away on “Business” a lot, so late nights on the phone with you are basically a necessity for him. 
M A R K I N G. You think it’s  childish? He doesn’t fucking care he needs EVERYON to know you’re together
Hickies everywhere, dark ones that don’t budge for days, even weeks
Brat tamer. No, I won't explain, look at him. 
He’s probably the best dom, even if he is a softer dom. He's going to discuss your hard and soft limits, safe word, and discuss the red yellow green system. Your comfort and safety is his number one priority. 
Going hand in hand with that, Nanami has mastered the art of aftercare. Anything you need, he’s got, anything you need him to do, he’s doing. He’s showering you in words of affirmation while trying to rehydrate you.
Also He’s cuddly. He wants you to fall asleep resting on his chest while he traces lazy patterns in your back. It’s his ideal way to go to sleep.
Tumblr media
Ryomen Sukuna
My whole existence is flawed You get me closer to God
Tumblr media
BESTIE idk how many different ways I can tell you not to go near this man, but let's find out
For one, he’s incredibly selfish, prioritizing his pleasure over yours every time. 
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t at least try to get you off though. Nay nay, getting you off is a part of his pleasure. Because it strokes his ego. 
Daycraphillia. Be it from pleasure or pain, he loves to see your tear soaked face.
This man is PACKING btw. It hurts at first everytime no matter how ready you are for him. The king of curses has the dick to back up all the shit he talks, you can’t convince me otherwise
He’s got four hands and he’s gonna use them all. Fingers in your pussy, on your tits, in your mouth, in on your ass. You're going to feel like you’re drowning in him.
Degradation. You're a filthy little whore, the only thing you’re good for is being a hole for him to fuck.
Does he actually mean this? I mean…shit, maybe! Depends on where you’re at in the relationship honestly. 
He will summon mouths in random places when fucking you. On his palms, above his cock, anywhere. Be prepared to feel a random tongue in random places.
…..breeding kink.
Honestly, I don’t think he’s proud of it. But something in him wants to fuck an heir into more than he wants to breath.
Also, blood and marking kink. These go hand in hand as far as he’s concerned. He will bite you until you bleed with no issue. 
He may not truly love you yet but the moment he stuck his dick in you, you became his. Which means no other man can touch you. Hence why he clearly marks you as his.
Aftercare who? He doesn’t know her, you’re lucky if he doesn’t immediately kick you out of the bed when he’s done. 
The exception being if you somehow managed to rope him into a “real” relationship. I still don’t think he’d be an aftercare king or anything, but he would at least cuddle with you until you passed out. 
Sukuna likes to find your limits, and then push you past them. He needs to see how far you’re willing to go for him, even if that breaks you.
God, this mf is so toxic. Why do I love him?
958 notes · View notes
Note
hi, recently i learned from your blog about the true meaning of zionism and what it actually means to jewish people, so i dont use the word zionist anymore and now i say "pro israel people" (but is that still problematic?). ive read from a couple palestinians who expressed their frustration about being policed on using the word "zionist" and having it taken away from them, as it is what they've called their oppressors since the occupation began. and as for the pro pali circle, especially the one that im in, we all support jewish self-determination but we do not support the state of israel because it was built on the nakba. we don't want "death to the israelis" and we also believe that the state of israel needs to be dismantled because its existence is what continues to oppress the palestinians.
so i explained all this because im not exactly sure if there is any antisemitism in this line of thinking? i want to be pro pali but i dont want to be antisemitic while im at it. i wasnt sure who to ask about this but since im learning a lot from you, i hope its okay that im asking you about this. thank you
hi! i hope it's alright i took a bit gathering my thoughts on this, i wanted to make sure i had a good array of opinions to give your response the proper attention it deserves. i ran my ideas past some people and gathered some additions from them, so hopefully it's at least a start
i'm gonna put this under a cut bc i just know it'll be long. sorry in advance about all my parentheticals lmao
first, i want to mention that for palestinians specifically, i honestly don't blame them for not accounting for the wide spectrum of usage of the word zionism. zionism is an incredibly present and specific threat in their lives, even if it is a very very narrow zionism in the wider scheme of things. when you're spending all your time in fear and trying to survive oppression or trying to just keep yourself alive, you don't exactly have time for nuance. my gripe is with non-palestinians who do have the luxury to be nuanced and take a step back and learn about this sort of thing
second, don't be complacent about your circle all supporting jewish self determination. if there's anything i've learned in the last six months and five days, it's that a lot of leftist spaces, even ones that say the right things and have the right discussions, still have very antisemitic biases. a lot of leftists (at least in the circles i run in) are always going on about needing to be self-questioning, self-examining, open to accepting that they may be wrong, open to """unlearning biases""" but there's a line a mile long between talk like that and actually doing it. i don't know your community, but i can't begin to count the number of friends i've lost lately. just don't get complacent about this, please
third, some people identify using the phrase "pro-israel" to talk about being for its ideas rather than its actions (even tho that's not really the language i use). there are a lot of people (a lot of jews!!!) who love the state of israel and have been advocating against its actions and policies since day one. my rabbi gave me a list of books to read that address these other visions of a medinas yisrael that is more focused on coexistence and justice, if you're interested i can attach it.
i also want to note that "pro-israel people" includes the tel aviv protestors, who have been protesting against the government's attempt to get rid of democracy. all the organizations i list below can be called "pro-israel people" one way or another. i highly recommend just saying what you mean: "people who support the disproportionate response of the israeli government and military," "people who support the marginalization of palestinians and non-israelis in the region," that sort of thing (thank you @vhenadahls). a lot of zionists, "pro-israel people" are your comrades, and we need all the help we can get. don't alienate who you don't have to
i also want to bring up, since we're talking about the jewish definitions of things, the meaning of "israel" is also important to note here am israel – the people of israel, aka what we now call "jews" b'nei israel – the children of israel (same meaning as am israel) eretz israel – the land of israel medinas/medinat israel – the state of israel it's important to mention that in most jewish texts and prayers, "israel" tends to refer to the people. i can't speak for anybody else but i know personally when i see someone identify as "anti-israel" my brain understands it as how it's used in jewish spaces, even when i logically know they tend to mean the state. that's just a personal thing tho, idk if this is something that also happens to others
fourth, and this gets into me-being-an-anarchist territory so head's up haha. i think like "we don't support [state] bc it was built on violence"—on one hand, yes and therefore you need to apply that to all states that fit such a mold with the same amount of vigor instead of only focusing on The Jewish One (tho if you ask me, an anarchist, i would say that violence is inherent in every state, and therefore every state should be dismantled). and if we're going that route, are you going to decide what takes precedence based on number of people dying a day? total number of deaths, or number per capita? or are you going based on length of time a conflict has been going on? whatever you do, don't base it off whatever's on your timeline the most. most people have already let ukraine leave their minds, and yemen and sudan never entered it to begin with. here's the acled's conflict watchlist for the year 2024 (side note, rather wild seeing the us on this list lmao), i recommend you take a look through this and really think about where your priorities should lie, or how to even choose. it's something worth thinking about, even if/when you decide that israel/palestine is the best usage of your time/energy [link]
okay but. on the other hand. even if you do all that, what are you going to do about it? great, you believe a state is bad. how are you going to make the world better? how do we balance that with the fact that for the past 2000 years most jews have been getting kicked out of one place and the next, and the hope of zionism is that finally jews will be able to rest and live somewhere. if we're proposing the introduction of a new state apparatus, how do we accommodate that (incredibly understandable!!!) jewish generational trauma? (side note while making challah today i started listening to an audiobook of "people love dead jews" by dara horn that i think is a really good book for other reasons obvi but you may personally be interested bc it is a very good expanation for why so many jews identify as zionists) how do we create a state that doesn't depend on the subjugation of The Bad Guys? how do we ensure that palestinians, israelis, armenians, the bedouin, christians, jews, muslims, are all represented and empowered? how do we set up a framework where those groups can not only coexist, but that those who were once kicked out may have an opportunity to return?
i think a lot of people kinda see "[state] is built on violence and needs to be dismantled" and then pat themselves on the backs and say good job everyone we did it, but the more important thing is "what next?" not just "we're yelling at underpaid starbucks employees and harassing our local city council to release a statement advocating for a ceasefire" which does NOTHING politically or socially, it's just fucking performative. how are you going to personally help take the steps necessary to not only dismantle that state but also make it do that in the absence of the state there won't be a shit ton of people in fear and desperate and who don't know how to live with the people around them and without creating a power vacuum that will inevitably lead to this cycle repeating for the hundredth time since 722 BCE and the assyrian overthrow of the kingdom of israel
in the words of another friend: "“What does it mean to support ‘Jewish self-determination’ while still calling for the dismantling of Israel? Through what means, in a time where we are constricted by nation-states, could an exceptionally small and marginalized minority population that is geographically and ideologically surrounded by nations that have called for its extermination, have self-determination, which requires basic safety, if the only nation-state designed to be a safe haven for them no longer exists? Why are we starting, of all of the nations currently engaged in explicit, harmful violence against others, with this very small country as the one that must cease to exist for its crimes?”"
i'm honestly not trying to make you feel hopeless, but i also think these are important questions we all have to deal with right now. in a way, i'm lucky—i'm an advocate in this subject because i'm becoming jewish, and through encountering antisemitism and disinformation, i've become kinda forced to start doing all the research i can. others can't answer that so easily. my recommendation is finding something concrete that you can address and focus on. for me, it's become facilitating and having difficult conversations about this very thing, to help emphasize the humanity of everyone in this situation and help us hopefully learn how to live together
i recommend looking into groups like: breaking the silence – an organization focused on providing both current and former members of the idf the ability to anonymously talk about their experiences in the occupied territories b'tselem – a group to advocate for human rights in palestinian territories and to document any violations combatants for peace – coalition of ex-combatants in the israeli/palestinian conflict who have come forward to work towards ending the israeli occupation and advocating for peace in their shared land the forgiveness project – this is a uk-based group focused on using stories of both victims and perpetrators to explore alternatives to seeking revenge. i cannot beg everyone enough to please watch this discussion they hosted between pcff's rami elhanan and bassam aramin hadash – leftist political coalition working towards the establishment of a palestinian state alongside medinas yisrael, worker's rights, and much more mesarvos – young israelis refusing the idf draft parents circle families forum – organization of israelis and palestinians who have lost loved ones in this too-long conflict, focused on promoting dialogue the road to recovery – organization to take chronically ill people from gaza and the west bank to israeli hospitals so they can get treatment standing together – israeli-palestinian organization advocating for peace, equality, and social justice this is not ulpan – joint hebrew-arabic school working to break down cultural divides by first addressing the language divide zochros – organization advocating for the recognition of the nakba and instating the palestinian right to return
144 notes · View notes