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#< technically not 'missing' but you get the idea
creedslove · 12 hours
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JOEL'S EX WIFE WANTING HIM BACK - HEADCANONS ✨
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No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
A/N: hi besties!!! Just a small little idea I got while I was watching some good old female rivalry soap opera drama over breakfast ❤️
Warnings: Sarah is a teen here ❤️
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• when you got together with Joel, Sarah was already 12, her mom had been gone since she was a baby and though neither of them had any problems about talking about what happened, it wasn't a frequent subject, even if they treated it with naturally, they didn't like talking about it and it was completely understandable, after all, Joel had been abandoned with a weeks old baby and that baby had to grow up without her mother around
• so you always simply decided to pretend she never really existed in the first place, and technically, in your life, she never really did it, because from the moment you began dating Joel, he wasn't her ex-husband anymore, but instead, he was your boyfriend, and Sarah wasn't really her daughter, but your stepdaughter and you both had learned how to love and enjoy each other's company
• you were leading a happy life with the Millers, being part of their household and falling into the same routine as they did, as you spent longer at their place than at your own, until it didn't make any sense for you to keep paying rent, after all, you and Joel were very much together and in love and the natural course of your relationship would be of course, getting married or something like that
• you were happy with your little family, Sarah's issues regarding her mom seemed to be filled up pretty good by you once you joined the family, as she finally had someone she could talk to about boys and other girl stuff. She also really approved yours and Joel's relationship, always commenting on how happy you made her dad and how nice it was to have a more family like routine
• things were good and happy and you couldn't wish for anything more than that, you were as pleased as you could be, and you were pretty sure Joel was the man of your dreams, there was no way you could love someone as much as you loved him and so was the story of how the Millers became a very happy family
• and that was why it shocked the fourth of you - because Tommy was hella shocked as well - when Sarah's mom, Angela, decided to get in touch with Joel; she had found him on Facebook and messaged him, much to his shock, he'd done the same with Sarah, just like that, texting the daughter she'd abandoned as if she was just an old pal saying hello after losing touch for years
• at first, the two of them decided to ignore it, not sure how to act or how to even respond to it, but after a couple of days more in which Angela kept insisting on texting, more like begging Joel for a chance to talk, he decided to talk to his daughter and get to a conclusion together and after considering a lot together, they decided they would answer to her and see what she wanted
• and of course Angela sent quite a few sob sad texts saying how hard things were for her, how much she'd missed her family and mostly her daughter and how she regretted leaving. Joel wasn't quite convinced with that, quite the opposite, he was still bitter and angry at everything that went on, but he could tell Angela's words somehow messed up with Sarah's feelings, after all, she was a reject baby by her mom and at some level, she needed her approval in any way
• so Joel and Sarah agreed to meet up with Angela again, something small, at a coffee shop where they could all sit down and talk things through so they could see how things went between them, you'd also decided not to show up, it was such an intimate moment, you didn't belong in that scenario and you also had no reasons to be suspicious of Joel, you loved and trusted him and he trusted and loved you back, there was no reason to worry about anything at all
• you were genuinely happy to know Sarah had warmed up for her mom and the two of them hit off, having a lot in common and deciding to spend more time together, going on dinners, lunches and movie sessions together; it seemed Angela's presence was a benefit for them, and it was, you liked to see Sarah so happy about her return, it only became a problem when Angela started to show up more and more often at Joel's home
• it was your home too, and as much as you didn't want to be selfish or annoying, you had to admit it bothered you A LOT she was all the time around, at first she started with smaller things, such as visiting you all on Sunday afternoon, or bringing up a dessert, which of course, had to be Joel's favorite and kept gushing about the times they were still married; Angela was a pretty woman, you couldn't deny that, and the fact she seemed so willing to be nice and pleasant around her ex-husband
• and that imposition of her presence into your house and your family was beginning to bother you even more; suddenly, Sarah didn't want to go to the mall with you anymore, instead, she wanted to go with her mom. She didn't want to bake cookies with you anymore because your cookies had that sugar thing in the bottom so she liked her mom's better and as much as you tried understanding Sarah needed and had all the right to enjoy her mom's company and presence, it still hurt you, because you missed Sarah, and yet, it felt as if you weren't important to her anymore
• Seeing the shifts in your dynamics with Sarah, Joel tried to be understanding and even offered himself to talk to her, but you dismissed the idea, it was embarrassing enough you were feeling jealous, you didn't need Joel to get into the middle of that, but it still made you upset when Sarah decided to go to the movies with her mom to watch the newest Ghostbusters movie you two had agreed on going together
• and just as Angela stole Sarah from you, she was more than willing to steal Joel as well: she wanted him, he was even more handsome, his business became successful and he lived comfortably and now Sarah wasn't an annoying baby anymore, it was fun to be around her and she wanted her family back
• so to you, things started going sour when you decided to stop by Joel's business to bring him lunch; you'd prepared him a pretty good lunchbox and you were very excited to see his reaction, however, when you got to his small office, you found him and Angela eating a foot long sub, as it was kind of an inside joke between them from when they were young
"oh shit baby, I had no idea you'd bring me lunch, if I knew it..."
• Joel said wiping his mouth with a napkin as he had sauce on his beard like an idiotic child would and it made your blood boil, Angela simply smirked at you and you knew exactly what she was doing, your gut feeling was right all along, she was a filthy bitch
"it's fine Joel, it's just a sandwich, it's not like you're cheating"
• you didn't know exactly why you said that, it was the first time in your life you had ever said that towards Joel because it had never even crossed your mind there might be a possibility of it happening, but once you said those sour words, an awkward silence, a think tension in the room spread and you felt extremely uncomfortable to be there
"I'm sorry, you can give the lunchbox to Tommy in case he hasn't had lunch if you want, that way the food won't go to waste"
• you told Joel and turned to Angela, you didn't want to hide how much you didn't like the fact she snuck into his office to bring him lunch like a devoted wife
"you know, it's an odd choice to bring your ex-husband lunch instead of your daughter, I'm sure Sarah is starving right now..."
• in the evening, Joel felt very bad about what had happened, he hadn't done anything wrong, but at the same time it was wrong because even if it was just a sandwich, it wasn't about the sandwich but rather who had brought it to him, he knew it had hurt your feelings and he wanted to make it up to you, so he arrived home, using all his charms, his puppy eyes, his sweet talking and his soft neck kisses to convince you to go out with him; he was going to take you out for dinner: at a restaurant, not a bar for beer and burgers, but an actual meal
• you enjoyed your time with him, appreciating his effort to make something nice for you, so you grabbed a table, ordered meals and enjoyed each other's companies, as Joel held your hand and talked about his day, telling you how much he'd missed you and how gorgeous you were, dinner was going smoothly and what happened during lunch time had almost faded from your mind, when you heard someone clearing their throat
"oh hey... Enjoying some romantic dinner? That's a good place, right? Joel used to bring me here every so often, money was very short back then, but he always made an effort"
• Angela gave the two of you a bright smile, loving every single ounce of anger that clearly went through your face, what the fuck was that disgusting woman doing there? Why did she have to ruin your date night like that? It made your blood boiling, Joel immediately sensed the tension and tried coming up with something to say, but Angela just shrugged
"I came over just to grab myself some dinner, excuse me and enjoy your evening"
• she faked sympathy and blew Joel a kiss, knowing damn well the whole evening was already ruined for you, which made her pretty good about herself
• once you got home, you decided to have a heartfelt conversation with Joel, tell him every single thing that was bothering you, after all, communication had always been a big deal for you and it was important for you to open up and be straightforward about the matter, and he agreed with you, he said Angela was crossing the boundary and he assured you he was gonna talk to her
• so during the next few days, things were alright again between you and your sweet Joel; you were still very much in love and Sarah had been so busy with her tests at school, you didn't even hear of Angela's name and you'd be lying if you said you weren't happy about it, it was a relief she wasn't around and you even suggested Joel to make barbecue on Saturday, you'd have an extra shift but then you could enjoy the weekend with your family
• he gladly accepted it and you spent the rest of your week quite excited for it, you liked his barbecue, it was such a dad trait he had and you wanted to spend some time in bed with him too, once you arrived from work, you smiled as you saw Tommy's truck and you could smell the delicious scent of food, as you got off your own car, you went straight to the backyard, smiling from ear to ear
• but it didn't last long, your smile died when you spotted Angela; she was wearing a short summer dress and laughed happily at something Joel said, it must've been so funny because Sarah was laughing too. Angela was holding a bowl of egg salad and the moment she saw you, her own smile died, as if she was the one who had her day ruined by an intruder in her family, and not the other way around
• you frowned as Sarah sighed at seeing you, it didn't take a rocket science genius to see she was disappointed in seeing you there, as if you had got in the way between her mom and dad, you stared at Joel, your eyes filling up with angry tears as he immediately walked to you, holding you by the waist
"baby..."
"I'm going to the bathroom to wash my face and when I come back I don't wanna see this woman here, I've had enough, I don't care if she's your ex or Sarah's mom, she clearly wants to take my place and sometimes I feel like she has already..."
"don't say that, baby girl, that's not true"
"so get rid of her Joel"
• you left to the bathroom so you could freshen up and clear up your mind; hoping she would be gone by then, you didn't want to see her at all, so once you stepped into the kitchen, you were ready to start your weekend, with the exception of the scene before your eyes: Angela's lips on Joel's
• you felt as if you lost the ground from under your feet, and even if Joel shoved her away from him and began apologizing one hundred times, you'd had enough; Angela got what she wanted: you out of the way
• you ignored everything Joel said, as you blinked your tears and shook your head, leaving the house, the house that used to be your home, but now you weren't so sure; maybe all you did all that time was fill up the absence of Angela, and now, that Joel and Sarah had the original one, they didn't need you anymore
• that was only one out of many thoughts that crossed your mind, you didn't want to believe that, you loved Joel and Sarah and you wanted to continue thinking they also love you, but your heart was broken and Joel Miller was to blame 💔
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yandere-sins · 12 hours
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A yandere with a darling who is kinda worse than they are but are still into it.....I don't know how unhinged you'd have to be for the yan to be like "Are you ok? Like if you need to talk about it I've put listening devices in the vents but still..."
I didn't want this to go into compliant darling territory or the darling being the yandere for someone else (though I did laugh a lot at the idea of telling the darling that the vents are bugged just in case they need it lol that's a good one). But this somewhat brought me a kind of different idea which you probably didn't intend, but I hope you like it all the same!
Warnings: Yandere, Violence (Descriptive acts of murder, stabbing, punching other people, breaking bones, getting bloody, a lot of blood actually, burying bodies), Sexual Content (Mentioning of non-con, dub-con, taking advantage, doing it in the blood of victims and next to dead bodies), Mentioning of drugs, Mentioning of knives, Patient/Doctor relationships, Murderer/Admirerer relationships, Reader is a serial killer, Yandere captures people for reader to kill, Yandere is also mad but so is reader, Reader doubts yandere's reasons for liking them, Reader is genderneutral but gets lifted into a bridal-style at the end, I once again didn't compile these warnings while writing and editing so I might miss some, sorry :(, Mentioning of wanting to throw up, Reader doesn't actually want to get better, it was different but really fun to write, Long post?, I feel like there are more warnings... but I can't remember anymore, if you made it this far and still want to read it, I hope you enjoy it!
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Click
You sighed, holding your head in your hands, arms squeezed between your torso and legs. Your head was throbbing with the headache of the century. One you hadn't had in a long time... like five days. 
"You're a fucking dick, you know that?"
Groaning, you heard your own voice echo through your dizzy brain, nausea building as you felt like you were on a ship, everything moving unsteadily around you. The blinding lights flooding the off-white room didn't help soothe the feeling either, and your whole body kept tensing up, readying itself to throw up. You tried deep breaths, but they barely did anything. Not like they ever did something. You were too far gone for that.
"I did what was necessary," his voice rang out through the speaker in the top left corner, accompanied by the screeching of technical issues. You whined loudly, tearing your hair out as your head felt like it would burst. "My bad," he added, turning down the volume.
"What was it this time? Double the dose, triple? Must you keep drugging me? Some doctor you are..."
"I tried something new," he admitted, a cheeky grin in his voice. 
"Worked great..." you slurred, listening to him chuckle. 
For a while, you gave in to the need to collapse, putting your arm over your eyes to escape the lights while you thought about the last few things you could remember. Therapy was going well... at least that's what you were told. But the nurses—ugh. That one bitch.
"She did it on purpose," you mumbled, hearing the softest of agreement through the speaker. You knew that if it wasn't against regulation, he'd be sitting next to you, brushing your hair out of the way while you'd tell him your woes. He was that kind of sicko. A doctor, yet fascinated with you, his patient. Even though he merely sat behind the cameras, watching you, you could hear the sickening affection he held for only his favorite patient in every one of his words. 
In a way, he wasn't that different from you.
"You beat her up real good, smashed her face in. Got yourself into a frenzy and just tore open all your stitches from your last fight while you were at it, you really..."
He sighed. He was disappointed. Upset. This was a significant setback for him, too, after all. 
"She called me too stupid to ever recover properly and I was trying this time, really! How else should I have reacted?"
"You could have told me."
"And you would have dealt with her how?"
A brief chuckle rang out before he replied, although, had you been less delirious, you wouldn't have needed to ask. You knew what he did to people who behaved poorly with you. "I would have taken care of her, as always. You know you have my unending support."
You couldn't help a smile creeping over your face, the memory of burying the last nurse who bothered you in the asylum's cemetary resurfacing. Digging out the grave had been hard work, but you had to agree with him that the physical labor did wonders to soothe your ever-agitated mind. 
"You're terrible," you mumbled, unable to hide your smile.
"Ah! There it is! Look at those little dimples! I'm glad my services are appreciated by my darling. I was hoping to take you out on a rendevous once the dust settles. Maybe we can do that sooner than I expected."
"Who'd want that, you sicko."
Groaning, you finally sat up, looking down at the cushioned floor while you adjusted to being awake. Standing took a few attempts; the cushions aligned along the wall, not actually graspable, even if they looked like it. Everything about the solitary cell was so safe, it made you feel helpless. But eventually you managed to get to your wobbly feet, sighing in exhaustion once you stood.
"There you go, breaking my heart," he sighed, and you shook your head with a laugh, knowing he didn't mean it. 
"No straight jacket this time?" you asked, raising your arms and, for the first time since you awoke, realizing your movements were unrestraint.
"You weren't in a condition to restrain you. I prioritized your healing over that awful jacket."
"You just don't like it because it does nothing for my figure."
Again, you heard the grin in his voice as he said, "Busted. You're too cute to walk around constrained. Even though I love how crazy you look with it."
"Sicko..." you mumbled, your nickname for your doctor, endearing only in his ears. 
Your limbs were terribly heavy as you moved them towards the door. Part of you wanted to collapse on the ground again; simply pass out where you were. But knowing him, he'd definitely use the opportunity to take advantage of you, especially now that he could get a video of it. 
You didn't always mind what your doctor did to you. In a way, he was helpful even if everything you two did was against any laws in this country. If anyone knew what you two were getting into when no one was looking, you'd both be put down like rabid dogs. But that's just how you two were—feral.
The sicko kept telling you how he'd get you back on track. How he'd "fix" you just enough so you could go home with him. There was no way you'd consider living with him if you ever did get out. Still, he liked to paint the picture whenever he crawled into your bed while on night duty, hugging you and telling you about his ideas. You told him often enough that, given the chance, you'd kill him outside the safety of this institution, but so far... you hadn't.
You had enough chances, enough people he let you murder, watching you while you did it and helping you to hide the bodies once you were satisfied, but you never once turned the knife on him. Maybe it was because of his studies; perhaps he knew more about you than you about yourself. Or it was because he was just as insane. Fucking your patient in the blood of their victims was definitely not normal, even you knew that. So what other reason could he have for it except insanity? 
"Earth to my darling, I repeat: Are you thirsty?"
You felt the heat spread over your face as you felt called out by his question, almost as if he was reading your mind. It wasn't like you two were lovers. There was no chance in hell you'd get together with someone like him—or anyone for that matter. You didn't want the burden of someone clinging to you while you did your dirty work.
But the sex after releasing all your pent-up anger? Out of this world. 
Perhaps his doctorate was in fucking instead of psychiatry, but he knew how to work every part of his body. And he knew just how to get you in the mood, too. An explosive combination, mixing his lust with your madness.
That didn't change much about your feelings for him, though. 
"I'm not," you muttered, trying to hide your face, which probably showed the embarrassment you felt, thinking of the last romp you two had. You tried the deep breaths again, but the thoughts kept popping back into your mind. Must be the drugs, you thought.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course!" 
His excitement was loud and clear as it rang through the microphone, and you weren't sure if you should smile at it or sneer. For some reason, you both held each other in a tight grip, unable to be separated, yet most likely toxic for each other. But he still got excited over any kind of interest you had in him and you about all the things he did so you could live out your best life—even though you were locked away for a reason. 
"Why me?" you asked, standing in front of the door, not looking up. Even if he was just the voice behind a camera at the moment, somehow, this question left a bad taste in your mouth. You didn't want him to see the conflict on your face; didn't want him to know that you were doubting how deserving you were of his favor. It wasn't insecurity, wasn't a need for reassurance, but how could anyone look at you and think, "That's the one!"? You killed people, went into violent rages, and weren't considered safe enough to be reintegrated into society, probably ever again. There was nothing you had to show for yourself. Nothing that could justify the feeling of adoration your own therapist held for you. Especially not he. He should have been one of the good ones. And you weren't. It made no sense to you why he'd behave like he did.
"Why you what?"
"Why do you like me so much? I mean, come on! I mean, look at us! We're batshit crazy! This isn't some romance movie on television, we're actually doing bad shit, and yet you keep shielding me, doing me favors, telling me you love me. I'm sure there are others out there who you can fix and fuck if you like. It's not like..."
Biting your own tongue, you wondered if it was the new drug combo he tried on you that made you feel especially irritated with his feelings that day. You let him do all this stuff to and with you, but now you were getting weirded out by it? It wasn't like you to get so worked up over him; you were more of the cool type, spitting-in-his-face-type if he pissed you off. You didn't even want to validate his feelings for you, but also... being self-aware enough to know you were a danger to humankind, you couldn't shake the feeling he might just be using you for his own sick desires. And that made you angry again. You'd not be a pawn or a means for no one.
Click
"Wow, okay, you bastard." Your grumbling fell on deaf ears as he turned off the microphone. "Sure, I'm going through something here, but by all means, stop listening. Not like it's your job or anything..."
Unprepared, you jolted back as the door to your cell suddenly yanked open, revealing the pitch-black corridor that lay behind. Apparently, it was late at night, but you couldn't focus on that as your doctor appeared from the shadows, a deep frown etched into his beautiful face. He should have been a model. At least that job wouldn't have led him to meet you.
"Do you doubt me?" he asked, stalking forward, undeterred by the open door, not thinking for a second that you'd try to escape. "Do I need a reason to love you for you to believe it?"
He caught your chin between his fingers, tilting your head back as he matched the steps you were taking backward. Soon, you'd run out of space to back into, but perhaps that was his goal. 
"Can't I just love you because the first time you caved in and told me about the things you went through, things just felt... right? Everything just clicked in my head, and I thought, "Wow, I want to see them happy!" Must there be any other reason for me to love you?"
Your back hit the wall just as his eyes lowered to your lips, his thumb reaching up to brush over them. "I dream about those lips. I can't help but think about you no matter where I go. In the evening, I imagine you curled up on the couch next to me; sometimes, I hear your laugh when you aren't even there. I want that picture-perfect life with you, but the moment I step into your room and see you covered in blood, your eyes showing just how far gone you are, it just..."
He looked up again, his eyes swirling with all the emotions he tried to convey in his words. But when he met your gaze, the color drained, leaving behind what you could only describe as pure, unfiltered madness.
"It drives me insane."
His second hand raised to the side of your face. He cupped your cheek in his palm for a moment, a soft smile creeping over his lips. "I like you like this. Docile, calm, sweet. I like it when you ask me things, I like it when you beg for something. I like it when you only let me do things to you. I want to help you, I do! But..."
His hand sliding down, you looked away, trying to catch it before it slipped around your throat, pressing into it, squeezing so hard you felt as if your head was going to detach from your neck.
"I want to ruin you. I want you worse, I want you deranged. I want you to kill everyone and then me, so I'll be the last of your victims, the only one you remember. I want to be ruined by you so badly that every day, I hope you tell me about yet another staff member we get to kill, and then you can use me to satisfy your needs. Can't you understand? This is love. No one will ever love someone like you, but. I. do. I understand you, I care for you. And I will continue to do so, with no other reason than I love you. I love you so much."
You gasped for air at this point, fingers grabbing his arm. It was hard listening to him, but it was harder to breathe. You knew he wouldn't kill you. This was nothing compared to other things you two did to each other. It stung a little when he said no one else would ever love you, but he was right. Not unless the change everyone expected from you was also something you wanted. 
But why would you?
The pressure on your throat disappeared, only for your breath to be stolen by his kiss. You hated this man. You hated him because he was a little bit too much like you. Too unhinged to be likable. And at the same time, he wasn't at all. He was too supportive, too nice, too forgiving. It disgusted you, honestly. Yet, you reciprocated, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. Before he could back off, you caught his cheeks in a squeeze between your fingers to draw him back to lick off the red fluid, reminding him he wasn't the deranged one here. 
"Don't question me again about my feelings, please," he asked, out of breath, too, as he bumped his forehead against yours. "I love you, I really do."
"You're a sicko, you know that? And your beard is stinging me, you should shave."
At this, he laughed out loud, raising his head to the ceiling. "I spent three days waiting for you to wake up. You can deal with some stubble."
"No, I don't like it."
Grinning, he lowered his face to you and gave you another peck on the lips. "It's gone tomorrow, I promise."
"Can I go back to my room now?"
He hummed thoughtfully before shaking his head. "Someone's awaiting their punishment still. You really want to miss out on that?"
Now it was your turn to grin as well. "Aww, you shouldn't have! Are we gonna cut up that bitch now? For real?"
"Anything for you," he mumbled, raising your hand to give it a quick smooch. "But let me change your bandages first. I don't want you to accidentally get sepsis if your wounds are still open."
"Surprisingly, you're still a doctor at heart."
"That's not true," he gasped, feigning indignation about your statement.
"Are you not?" you asked, watching him bend down to pick you up, bridal-style even. You weren't mad since your legs felt even weaker than before, and you really wanted to conserve your energy. 
"I'm afraid it's no longer medicine that has claimed my heart."
He looked at you, smiling softly. "It's all you."
"And I can't help but love you more, realizing I am becoming more like you every day."
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Saw alotta dis so uhh.. Is aether an option by any chance?
The creator had:
Twin blonds
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WC: 900~
I actually really like aether, I tend to characterize him as rather wholesome, at least in his traveler form.
I'm sure that traveler aether would be so much shier about his attraction that you would have to start any intimate interaction while abyss aether is more forward with his attraction.
“Thanks for the help traveler, without your help we wouldn't be able to hold the celebration” Aether is famously known across teyvat for how helpful he is, always so eager to take the load off of anyone's shoulders.
“let me give you a reward"
“Hm? Ningguang already gave me the reward” looks at you curiously, maybe there was a mistake while arranging this? After all, the commission was a last second thing.
“I know that, I meant a more personal reward, only if you wanted” finally noticing the innuendo he swallows hard, swiftly looking over at paimon to find her swallowing canapes and desserts but seemingly the time he spent thinking about it made you think it was a refusal “oh, well, nevermind, let's enjoy the party” you pass bye him towards the entrance but he stops you, a firm hand around your arm.
“I didn't mean it like I don't want, I just… Didn't expect it, I guess” seeing him so cute you can't help yourself and lean forward, your lips half open, an invitation that he soon takes.
A while later you both appear in the party, alibis pointing to each other being somewhere different.
“didnt expect you to come here so soon” as you open the door you see the prince standing in the middle of your room, an almost indistinguishable shape amongst the shadows.
“I would say the same. I would have expected you to stay in the party for a while longer, your grace”
Your hands signal a burgundy splatter on the top “drunkard's accidents. I came to clean myself” you walk the the wardrobe, pulling another tunic from there “I also saw a hydro mage in the garden from one of the second floor windows and guessed your would be here or arrive soon”
He sighs sitting down on your bed “I held some hope they would be more careful with this mission but seems I was wrong. I hoped I would be able to talk with you when you came after the party”
“almost everyone is drunk and I greeted everyone important, I can spare some minutes"
“I will make sure to use them wisely then”
“Won't you even tell me where your lover is from?” Nahida is sitting criss-cross playing stacking cubes with the blond children, a set of twins.
“I’m sorry but I won't” you see her shoulders slouch while she builds a block tower with the twins, almost disappointed.
“Could it be kaveh? They are blond like him” she pops up an idea, seeing how fixated the girl twin was with building the tallest column and how the boy was focus.
“Fine, will tell you he isn't from Sumeru” even if she seemed bummed out about it at least she sighed and stretched her legs.
“Well… technically his mom is fontanian now so maybe...”
“It's not kaveh.”
“Finee”
“Such energetic toddlers” Raiden watches from the top of the stairs, two eleven month olds trying to learn how to walk and repetitively failing and rising to try again.
“Yes, I had to get a nanny for each if them, whenever I left them in their playpen at least one would sneak out and start crawling around, I was worried they would try to go up the stairs and hurt themselves”
“Ah!” The boy yelps as he manages to stand up for a second but falls down after attempting his first step. Before he starts wailing his sister pats his back.
“ I will miss him” Nahida pouts, her eyes almost glassing over. The twins had reunited at last and left, not without giving all a hug, yours being particularly long and specially melancholic.
“You know” you say as you put your hand on her head, the archons standing alongside you “we will have something to remind us of him” she looks up at you curiously with her wet eyes.
“indeed, the changes they produced in our nations won't be easily forgotten and we will be able to remember him because of it”
“That might be true, zhongli, but I meant something else, something that will grow alongside us” nobody said a word, the meaning totally understood by all of them. Nahida hugs your leg and zhongli rests a hand on your shoulder blade.
“Prince did you manage to make the purest grace to agre with our plan and make the nations surrender?” a cryo mage speaks the next morning, rubbing his hands together.
“I didn't manage to cramp that in, when their grace wasn't present people started looking for them”
“I understand…” even if he wanted to doubt him what he did in that while he knew that wouldn't end nicely for him.
“Aetherrr”paimon whines over his shoulder, tugging the loose hairs behind his ears “we spent 20 minutes looking at toys”
“I want to give nice and thoughtful gifts to their grace's children” aether ignores her, still wondering if buying more furniture for their dollhouse or a Natlan sport ball. Both of them play doll house and football but which would be best?
“Just give them whatever, I doubt anyone would spend so much thinking about their gift. Just because they are twins and you are a twin doesn't mean you share any special link”
“yeah, you are right” it's not because of that reason that he is so focused but at least it works as a common excuse of seeing himself and his lost sister in them.
“Now will you hurry?”
“Haha, no”
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angstywaifu · 3 days
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The Lost Sister - Part 24
Synopsis: Xaden is known as an only child due to his sister who 'died' during the Rebellion. Little do they know she didn't die and has been so close this entire time.
Garrick Tavis x OC A/N: Just want to say thank you to all of you who have joined in on this series in the last week. There is so many of you now! Hope you're enjoying it! This week is a smaller one, but I can promise you will not be disappointed with some of the stuff you will find out. Enjoy!
The Lost Sister Masterlist | Masterlist
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It feels like I blink and December flies by. And with it, the return of challenges. We had been given a break around threshing. Giving us time to adjust to our dragons, the new training we had to take up, and any signets that might manifest. Which was probably a smart idea. There were plenty of signets amongst the first years that could have been deadly if they manifested in a challenge where no rules were in play. I hate to think what my signet would have done if it manifested during a challenge.
But now I had the challenge of not using my signet during the challenges. With a classified signet I was restricted in what I could show around the other students. The only place I was technically allowed to use my signet was around Carr. So far he seemed impressed with the progress I was making. Well the progress I was willing to show him. Which so far was moving objects and even him around. Controlling a human was way harder than an object. That night of the attack had seemed so easy, but Carr had informed me due to the situation I had probably delved deep into my power to save myself. I had made that cadet drop that dagger as if it was natural and something I had willed. Carr was a different story. He looked like a puppet. His movements were janky and rigid. I had to remind myself I was also going up against someone who knew how to shield very well. Another thing I would have to learn to break through he told me. Something I would have to practice with Xaden or Garrick in our training sessions after classes. Outside of Carr’s private sessions I now no longer needed to delve into my mind, into that courtyard to focus on someone’s mind and sense what they were feeling. I was starting to pick up on more their strengths, weaknesses and emotions. I was getting small glimpses into their mind. Nothing solid that I could pinpoint what it was, but it was progress. Progress I hoped I could turn into reading opponents intentions. Not that I needed it. Melgren’s training had taught me how to read my opponents movements and stances, to predict what their next move might be. But only time would tell.
As the rest of my squad head to another round of challenges, a round I could tell Violet and Liam were extremely nervous about, I walk through the door to Carr’s classroom. And it’s clear this lesson will be different to the last. Standing in front of Carr is Dain Aetos. The only other cadet in the quadrant with a classified signet. Dain turns as I walk in, his eyes narrowing, clearly not expecting me either.
”Excellent, you received my note.” Carr says with a smile. “You’ve proven you can handle a weapon without any issue so I thought we could use the time to strengthen your signet and test Dain’s.”
Dain turns his head back to Carr, confusion written all over his face. “And how do you expect to test me sir?”
Carr gives Dain one of the smiles that always sends a chill down my spine. “Miss Riorson here has a very very rare signet. The first of its kind. And if the tomes I have studied over the years are anything to go by, she should have a very powerful shield. One so powerful, it should be able to stop anyone from accessing her mind.”
Shit. He planned to see if Dain could access my memories. And if Carr was wrong, Dain would have open reign on everything I know. Everything from the rebellion. Everything from my time with Melgren. And everything that had happened since I had been here. Including the information I now knew about the weapons smuggling and the Gryphon riders. Shit.
Relax. You will be fine. He will not be able to get anything. Mealladh says confidently in my head.
So Carr is right? I ask, relief washing over me.
Yes. You have a very strong shield. Even before I chose you and you manifested your signet. It is one of the reasons I chose you. No one without a dragon or a signet should have a shield as strong as yours. The colonels son wont be able to make a dent in it unless you let him in. Which for you, can be harder than learning to shield for most cadets. You won’t have to do a thing.
Mealladh’s words fill me with confidence as I walk over and drop my bag next to Dain’s on the floor. Carr merely nods at Dain and motions towards me. Signalling to start. Carr had not uttered a word of Dain’s signet. He assumes I don’t know what it is. Probably hoping if he is wrong that I will have no time to stop what is coming. But Xaden and Garrick had known. I assume as those higher up in the Quadrant they had access to the information. I had never asked how they knew. I just knew to avoid his touch. But right now I had no choice. I just had to hope and believe what Mealladh said was true.
Dain turns to me and holds his hands up, hovering either side of my head. He’s nervous. “My signet relies on touch. You ok if i-”
”Just do it.” I tell him sternly, cutting him off.
Dain nods before placing his hands either side of my head, closing his eyes as if needing to focus. But I keep mine open and focused on him. I watch as his eye brows furrow in confusion, as if not expecting what he finds. Or what he doesn’t find. I can feel something faint, very faint at the edge of my mind. The sensation remind me of a feather being dragged across my skin. I hadn’t tried to put my shields up like Melgren taught me. It was like they we’re already there. Already solidified in place. Unbreakable. I feel the sensation again, as if the feather is trying to break through. I can see Dain’s face shift at the effort. As if he is trying to hammer through my shield with great force. But to me, its as if barely anything is happening. I do what Melgren had taught me, slamming up the shield. I watch as Dain recoils as if shocked, his hands leaving my head as his eyes fly open, his chest rising rapidly as he struggles for air.
”I-I couldn’t see anything.” He tells Carr, his eyes still focused on me.
Out of the corner of my eyes I watch Carr smile again. “And let me guess, you tried to put up an actual shield at the end there?” His question directed at me.
I nod. “Yes.”
Even as I keep my eyes on Dain who looks like he is still trying to figure out what happened, I see the joy in Carr’s eyes. The joy at being right. I know as soon as I leave this room he will send word to Melgren of this new discovery. I had no doubt I would be tested against other cadets in the quadrant who bore mental signets. But I knew none we’re as powerful as Dain. The only exception might have been Jeremiah. Could a full innistic penetrate my shields? I would have no way to know seeing as the quadrant killed anyone who manifested that signet.
”Excellent. You are both dismissed. Feel free to head to challenges if you so wish.” Carr says with a flick of his had before turning to his desk and grabbing a roll of parchment. Another note of Melgren.
Dain and I leave the classroom, Dain rushing off towards the challenges. I roll my eyes before following slowly behind him. Maybe I can catch the challenge Liam and Violet we’re so worried about. As I go to round the corner to the gym, a voice in my head stops me in my tracks.
Shit. He’s gonna kill me cause she got hurt. Shit.
A voice that is neither mine nor Mealladh. It sounds almost like-
I round the corner and pacing back and forth is Liam. Liam whose voice I just heard inside my head
Part 25 (coming soon)
@riorgail @going-through-shit @fw-gt @bbkissme99 @xceafh @leptitlu @came-to-laugh-but-cried @onthewaytotimbuktu @daardyrnitta @lovemesomevesey @mxtokko @krowiathemythologynerd @callsign-blue @1islessthan3books
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marredmusings · 2 days
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DENY PART TWO
ok i think i might make a series about my jj x reader x pope fic
also kind of dedicated to @starfxkr bc their blog gets me through the jj pope drought that is on tumblr (if you don't wanna be tagged i'll totally delete but i luv you even tho i don't know you
this isn't technically a part two but it's inspired by my previous fic deny
i'm hoping to maybe fully flesh out a whole mini story about them bc i love jj and pope so bad and i wanna kiss them both and have them kiss each other.
please send me prompts or if you have any ideas or you just wanna gush about jj and pope 💜
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i'm a cancer, ok
you've always felt your emotions more deeply than others. you have a lot of feelings and it's not uncommon for you to start tearing up at random times throughout the day when you see something that elicits a strong feeling from you.
kie says it's because you're a cancer and while she's so true because you are the stereotypical emotional water sign, you're not sure how much of your mental state is because of your astrological sign or if you're genuinely a few screws loose in the head.
you remember hiccuping and sobbing into jjs shirt for the better part of half an hour- staining his sleeveless tee with your tears all because you saw a seagull missing a foot and he seemed to be running slower than his other seagull friends. your only relief from the obvious heartbreaking situation was jj softly murmuring comforting words in your ear, his strong arms around circled around your waist, your body snuggled onto his lap. the scene isn't uncommon for the pogues to see. the two of you have always been more affectionate than most.
all of this leads you to where you are now, curled up on your bed sobbing. soft sad music playing in the background making you sob even more. you put on a brave face with your friends but in the sanctuary of your own bed is where you can finally let your feelings free.
seeing pope and jj kiss hurt you more than you originally thought. your mind keeps replaying the scene of the two boys kiss, their lips moving together sensually, saliva being shared. you're sure that if you hadn't interrupted them, the kiss would lead to something more and involving less clothes.
hey google, play "that should be me" by justin bieber.
what if when they start dating they drop you? what if pope isn't comfortable with how touchy or affectionate you are with jj and he stops your cuddles or what if jj doesn't want you to hang out alone with pope because he knows you two kissed. what if they stop needing you because they have each other?
the thought makes a sob crawl up your throat and fat tears roll down your cheeks. you feel like your head is going to explode from how hard your crying. you need them like air, you felt like that even before you and pope kissed and before you realized you're in love with jj. you need them because they're your closest friends- they're the family you so desperately crave because your own doesn't care much for you and you're so scared if they start dating each other then they won't need you.
it's why you give out your love so freely, the feeling of being needed by people is something that is so deeply and inherently buried in your bones. when someone needs you and you can help them, it feels euphoric. a psychologist would probably have a field day with you because if you're not needed, what good are you?
----
"i'm really confused after our kiss" pope mumbles, nervous to look at jj in the eyes.
"good or bad confused" jj responds.
"is there such thing as good confusion?" pope asks, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. "i didn't think i was gay or bi or whatever and yeah i think some dudes are hot but like i've never wanted to kiss them but i wanted to kiss you!! and then we kissed and it was like... nice but different and i couldn't help but think about gracie and how she and i kissed and how good that also felt and then i felt guilty and-"
"pope, take a breath" the maybank boy utters, effectively cutting off popes rambles.
"i liked kissing you pope. i never let myself be attracted to dudes but it's you, ya know?" jj continues.
"but i also understand wanting to kiss grace. i... well i want to kiss her too." he finally confesses. he's never said his feelings for his grace out loud before.
pope gently stumbles over to where the maybank boy is perched on his bed, he leans in to grab jjs fidgeting hands, grasping them in what he hopes is a comforting hold.
he leans forward so he can give jj a small peck on the cheek. reassuring him that they're ok, that they'll make it through whatever turmoil they're feeling right now.
jj grabs popes face and brings him in for a deeper kiss, lips and tongues touching. it makes jjs stomach burn with desire. after several minutes or maybe hours of kissing, he's not sure, pope reaches up and pulls on jjs soft blond tresses, tugging on the boys hair a little to pull him away from popes lips. they both let out little gasps when they disconnect.
"have you heard of polyamory?" pope asks jj... a shit eating grin on his lips.
---
giggling and kicking my feet. i love them 💜
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daandyli0n · 6 months
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About He Came Back au... could you tell us a bit about the "missing" children once they grow up? We know about Gabe, Cassidy, and Charlie, but I'm a bit curious about the other kids! Love u and this au <3
aw, thanks man! yeah i have. Many Thoughts on these lil guys <3
so! they all kinda had to recover after y'know. almost getting murdered. but depending on what happened to them, they either took less or more time to recover (Cassidy took the shortest, Charlie took the longest, out of the main group). this only strengthened everyone's bonds.
now! onto the kids!
Susie:
- she becomes a dog mom :] she gets another golden retriever that she names Lucky II, after her first dog :] she has three dogs at any given time.
- she also adopts a child later on, and becomes a single mother (she's aroace). she names her daughter Clover, another reference to Lucky :]
- she gets into baking. she has shown up on her friends' doorsteps multiple times with either cookies or cupcakes. depends on the day. she works at a bakery.
- just a really bubbly and happy lady, despite everything. she's still got some sass, though.
Fritz (Jr.):
- his and Jeremy's bio parents get back together and he and Jere get a baby sister (Tabi)!! woo!!
- he gets sent to therapy for. a multitude of things: anger issues, the abuse he and Jeremy suffered from their stepfather, and The Incident.
- he mellows out after a few years, but he's still the brave, outgoing kid he was back then.
- they think his scars make him look more badass.
- Cassidy Introduces Them To Being Nonbinary, And He Could Not Be Happier.
- You Bet Your Ass That He Started Wearing A Pirate Eyepatch After Losing Their Eye.
- he is the guy that got Tabi into being a Foxy fan :]
- funnily enough, he grows up to be a child psychiatrist. he wants to help kids like him and Jere, y'know?
- they end up marrying a genderqueer person. good for him :]
- he's still very much into pirates (they're a special interest for them), and he makes that pretty clear. his therapy office has pirate related decor, sometimes he'll talk in a silly pirate voice to cheer kids up, and they still go to see Foxy shows at the Pizzeria. he doesn't care if the kids look at him weird, it makes him happy. :]
Jeremy:
- yeah, uh...he kinda lost his voice after Being Repeatedly Stabbed In The Throat. the doctors honestly thought he wouldn't make it.
- he learned ASL :]
- you thought losing his voice would stop his clownery at school? you fool.
- he got into playing guitar later on, and he owns a music store :].
- he teaches kids ASL when he goes over to the pizzeria to check on Gabe :).
- he confesses to Gabe in '94 by signing out 'I love you.' Gabe got real flustered.
- you don't wanna know how Overjoyed he got when he learned gay marriage got legalized. like, Gabe and Jere were just known as being unofficial husbands, sorta like how Cassidy and Charlie were known as being unofficial partners. but now!! they can Make It official!!
- he still has nightmares pretty often :(
Gabriel:
- he gets more confident over the years :)
- he gives the vibes of an awkward kid who felt embarrassed for being awkward and a lil goofy, but upon growing up just acts as silly and goofy as he wants. let him be a little silly and awkward!! the guy deserves it!!
- when he finally inherits the pizzeria after turning eighteen (long story: i have a hc about there being a Third business partner along with Afton and Emily, and this is Gabe's dad), he does really well, and gets along well with his customers. he is also the only person in Fazbear Entertainment, other than his father and Henry, who seems to have morals, because Jesus Christ.
- he doesn't follow the rule of Fazbear Entertainment where "We Are Not Liable For Anything Bad Happening-" because no!! tell him if something bad happened!! he wants to help fix it!!
- just a really sweet, goofy, and anxious man.
- he's also literally the only person besides Phone Guy (Daniel) who warns people about Afton (O'Hare/Springbonnie). because That's Kinda Some Important Info To Know.
- when Cassidy finally sealed Afton behind a wall, in a slightly illegal way, Gabriel promised not to say anything and also cover for them should word get out (he'd just claim that he asked them to do it).
- Freddy's is still open to this day, it's just moved locations around every few years or so.
- Gabe my beloved <3
the kids, when the og restaurant was still open, always felt uneasy about O'Hare after everything with Afton. is...is he really looking at them, or are they just being paranoid?
yeah, those are the kids i've spoken less about. Cassidy is on a quest to get rid of Afton once and for all, no matter the cost. Charlie is concerned for her partner, but willing to help where she can.
also, bonus!! The Afton Kids!!
they all have. Really Mixed Feelings on their father:
- Elizabeth feels kinda guilty about this whole thing, and really doesn't like thinking about it. she typically tries to change the subject if people talk about her father too much. she doesn't want to think about how her father tried to kill a bunch of kids, effectively because of her. as she's told Michael before, "If hadn't been so fucking stupid and actually listened to him for once, maybe none of this would've happened.." so yeah, she ain't doing well!
- Michael both hates his father for what he did, but can't help but miss him. regardless of the universe, Michael's got some Daddy Issues™️
- Adrian also doesn't wanna think about it too much, mostly because he can't wrap his head around why. it's also because of some weird, kinda traumatic nightmares where his father tries to reach out to him, but that's an entirely different post.
as far as Adrian's concerned, it's out of sight, out of mind. thinking about it brings up Bad Thoughts, and he'd like to Not have those, thanks.
but yeah. It's The Kids! minus Cassidy and Charlie, cause those two are practically their own post.
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booasaur · 2 years
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The Dragon Prince - 2x01 || 4x01
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cheaploafs · 1 year
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nothing to see here
(meme based off of undercut <3)
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whenyoulosesmallmind · 6 months
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"he was the son of train delays / that made mom and dad meet / she was as beautiful as the darkest sky / she looked for the meaning of life inside bars [...] one day he asked her: "Chiara will you marry me?" / with a ring in hand and a forced smile / she really thought about it for a minute or two / then said: "no, but let's go out to get ice cream"" ― Lake Washington Boulevard, Pinguini Tattici Nucleari trans. mine | inspired by this post
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salsflore · 1 month
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#fretting over my future once more. i’m afraid i might actually kms if i go back to a regular school but i’m worried i’ll completely#fuck up my chances of getting into a university if i don't#turning to that cursed website Quora . i can’t do this i’m just TERRIFIED i’ll fuck up and only realize it a year down the line#i don’t want to think about what hasn’t even happened yet but i can’t just blissfully ignore the possible consequences either#i hate that this happened to me. i already had a Plan. a straightforward idea of what i was going to do and then i get ARRESTED omggg#why is it me that has to have my life disrupted like this‚ right? i hope hope hope things will turn out okay in the end but i am just sad#about everything that’s ever happened to me#i want to do the private candidate thing so badly but it means not finishing the last 2 yrs of highschool#i’d still technically be learning tbe same things but its more about the certificate or whatever that comes with it#and the friends‚ too ....#of course you only do this to me when i am almost at the finish line and ive found people i click with! thank you 👍🏻 salamat sa lahat 🤗#i need to do more research on the topic before freaking out . but i'm just. eugh so so sososososo sad#💭#negative#cw vent#edit: it is becoming more and more likely that finishing my edu in a regular school would be the best option but AHHH#i really. i really cant emphasize how much i dont want that for myself. i hate it#i miss my home so terribly. but whatever i guess!#also i relapsed so thats kind of a bummer ...#cw self harm
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gu6chan · 2 months
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Spending a year translating a novel and am split between the joy of seeing people in the west be able to enjoy something previously only able to be enjoyed by fans in japan and immense regret seeing it used for the worst fucking fan theories you've seen in your life
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missiodine · 1 year
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tfw you wanna try to play ttrpgs again, but ever since playing a few years ago during a certain two campaigns, you were bullied by people who you thought were your friends because you didn't know how to play and they made up reasons why they should dislike you irl. especially while you tried to be nice to them and give them space and tried to make steps towards interacting with them in rp too.
like no, it wasn't like "oh, it's just character interaction, these characters just don't like each other!" no it was "no joke, I absolutely hate your guts, Miss Iodine, fuck you and I'll be an arse to you in-game and irl. i will ignore everything you and your character say, i will attack your character because why not and say it's just what my character would do, and then start harassing my DMs"
love it when i tried for months to reach out for a proper sit down only to be given a sorry-not-sorry half-assed push the blame onto the victim apology
like yes this lives rent free in my head. you won, if that's what you wanted.
#autumn says stuff#vent#im still so fuckin salty even though its been so long#i just don't understand how people can treat others so terribly and not even think twice about it#never a moment of ‟maybe I did wrong?‟#nah. just tell Miss Iodine ‟You're a problem‟#yes that exact statement was said to me#maybe ‟bully‟ is a cliche word but i dunno what else to call it#like mate i've been nearly stabbed before during what i can only assume was an attempted hate crime. technically i did get hurt ig because#grabbed the knife by the blade as it was being thrusted towards me. i still have the said knife btw. wanna get free knife? just grab it#from your attacker. and then they'll run off because they're a little shit. actually don't do that. don't recommend that. okay so the point#is that yk ive been hurt physically many times but goddamn this situation still hurts emotionally#it was funny when said someone in this group told me i was 'appropriating neurodivergent culture.' mate. mate. wot. im how?#take it from me. im not neurotypical lmao. i thought that was obvious but no. no idea where this even stemmed from tbh because it really#came out of nowhere. also being called a fascist for years by these people for liking worldbuilding and star trek was cool. didn't realize#that fuckin reading old soviet books and playing papers please and minecraft makes me a fascist somehow. but you learned it here.#im still so fucking pissed about that accusation. love that their additional reasoning that im somehow a fascist was that#‟you're getting mad and keep insisting you're not a fascist‟ is proof that you're a fascist. what else am i supposed to do? you haven't#even given an ounce of some so-called mountain of evidence.#its cool that no one cared about what these people did to me. better to retain a friendship with them and never bring up what they did.#better to just alienate miss iodine from the friend group. better to never bring it up. better to forget any of this happened. better to#forget that miss iodine exists.#sometimes i wish i could know what its like to not give a flying fuck about other people. I wonder what it's like to be such a shitty perso#fucking hell.#thought i found home when i first met that group. instead it just reminds me of the home i grew up in.#My biological family (save two cool cousins) is probably a collection of some of the worst people in existence.
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pepprs · 2 years
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ok um. literally fucking pain and suffering. mutuals i need ur advice vote now on your phones 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#so we walked and talked and it was literaly the most non conversational conversation ive ever had i think. probably not ever had but it was#up there. AND ITS MY FUCKING FAULT because i dodged the bullet LITERALY right out the gate. she asked how are you feeling and i couldve#fucking talked about like… her leaving but instead i just started talking abt being in THSI new position which maybe she might’ve asked#specifically how are you feeling abt this new position but i forget lol. but that’s the route i took and never ONCE did i say like… from#literally DAY ONE my entire tenure as coordinator has been skewered by your sudden decision to depart this organization and ABANDON US AWLL!#and i told her a little bit abt the stuff i have to do and she was telling me abt like.. how to navigate that and then i asked how she was#feeling and… we spent the whole rest of the convo there LMAOOOO bc it was just abt how daunted she is by everything she has to do in her new#position but also being excited abt it and looking forward to the adventure. and i just had no idea what to say to any of it so ijust kept#asking lame questions and giving these like fucking weak reassurances that she would figure everything out and stuff. but she was going into#like intricate detail abt it which is fine! like im happy to hear abt it and i want to know and im glad she’s telling me. but i wanted to#talk abt how this has been like… painful? and we just literally like.. with the occasion of maybe 2 things that didn’t even rly count that#much. like we just didn’t talk abt it. i didn’t even say i’ll miss you or like anything like that. and the one thing i was rly hoping to get#out of this convo (basically like… ensuring that we will stay in each other’s lives despite this) kinda happened but it was so like.. idk#she was just like rly casually / lightly you can come visit me on the shuttle any time. but againwe were kinda saying it jokingly / lightly#and nothing abt it was like rly sincerely like… i care about you. you mean a lot to me. this journey we have been on has mattered so much. a#and it is ending in some ways but not in all ways and let’s work together to make sure it won’t end. that’s what i wanted. and instead we#had like 3 excruciatingly awkward silences and ended litsdally at 5pm on the dot and that part is to be expected but the silences sucked. i#only have one more chance to see her (technically 2 but i don’t think it would be fair for me to take that second one so i won’t) and i know#i can write her a card saying some of THSI stuff and i will but also like.. i want and need to say it to her face and hear her say in real#time that like. seriously this has meant a lot and we will stay connected. and i need to tell her how much she has meant to me bc i don’t#think she knows. so what i want advice on is like.. do i just say it in a card or do i ask her to do a phone call or virtual meeting or#something for literally 10-15 minutes at the very end of the day just to say that. idk. like what do u think seriously i know it’s cringe b#but this is like one of the most important people in my whole life and we don’t have the relationship i want us to and i know we never will#but i at least want to tell her how much i care about her and like affirm that we will still be bound by some cosmic whatever and in each#others lives. idk. lol. im trying so hard not to cry it’s rly hard to think bc im at the dinner table lol. but what do u think. just say it#in the card or do i ask her to talk for a little while longer just to say it and not chicken out this time. i hate being socially inept LOL#purrs#delete later#it’s also not entirely my fucking fault. like she just doesn’t.. she doesn’t go there. at least not with me.and im so frustrated and sad LOL
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seenthisepisode · 2 years
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(personal rant in the tags because i am stress and need to vent asgfhsdf)
#personal#so basically me and my fiance who has a problem with his leg (he needs an orthopedic cane) were at the festival and overall it was great#but i was so overwhelmingly stressed all the time because i was worried about his leg because it was visibly getting worse#and now we're home and we have tickets to another festival this weekend but we agreed he can't go because too risky and too stressful#sooooo the point is i am supposed to go alone and the point is. i want to go. but 1. i am kinda scared to go alone and sleep in a tent#2. i am running out of money 3. i will be worrying about him at home (but i also know he will be just fine at home)#but i also really want to go because my paid leave ends on tuesday and i don't want to spend it at home when i technically spend it#1. in my beloved mountains 2. at concerts (because the festival is in the mountains)#and worse of all i see my freedom ending and next week i am going back to work#and now we've been at home for 3 days and all we did was like. stay in bed and watch bad tv. which. with him is always fun! but#but i also don't want to spend my last week of freedom like that especially when the weather is absolutely beautiful#and i want to go to the mountains#but i don't know if the stress and money are worth it. actually it's more about fear and stress than the money.#and i just. i literally don't know what to do. i want to go but i don't want to go but i want to go#i have no idea how to explain it ;________;#what do i do send help#i want to go but not alone but this is the only option and i know i will meet people but. ughhhhhhhhhhhhh WHY IS LIFE SO HAAARDDD#ANYWAY.#and he's like: you should go! you should go!!! :) but i will miss you and be worried :( but go for it!#and i am like!! i should go! i want to go!!! but i will be stressed and worried!!! :((((((( but i want to#adulting is. hard#decision making is. literally the worst. freedom is literally a lenght of rope and god wants me to hang myself with it
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kaleschmidt · 1 month
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i think I may explode if i try to do whole digitalized refs for the reject trio's other versions (I.e. d-side, b3, soft, etc.) so I think i'll just do traditional and color them in.. I'll put em on my art blog
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arolesbianism · 5 months
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Thinks so hard abt swap au Wendy... Worlds lamest trans person sees being turned into a robot as a bad thing smh
#rat rambles#starve posting#now that my friend is an over simplification and in truth his situation is indeed deeply extistenstially horrifying#especially for a child who in no ways could ever be expected to process this at all but is left with nothing else to think about#long story short one night abby was like hey hey wendy you know what we should do? we should go camping!!#and packed a bunch of things a kid would think you need for camping and dragged wendy off into the woody mountains by the cabin their#family was vacationing at despite wendy saying thats a dumb idea and he doesnt want to go#eventually abby chose out a camping spot and ran off to get some firewood leaving wendy to wait and watch their stuff#then webber who as Ive barely but technically explained only half exists is watching sadly in the distance sad he can't join#and wendy sees him and is like wtf and webber gets super excited because wendy can see him but that ends up freaking wendy out more#leading to him backing away as webber tries to get close and slipping and falling down a very steep slope and bonking his head rip#he was basically dead and webber was upset and felt bad so he took it upon himself to save wendy's brain and make him a new body!#but since wendy's brain was pretty fucked a lot had to be replaced with robotic parts and pretty much all of wendy's memories were lost#he has some very very corrupted memory from the last night before he died and some scattered memories from when webber was testing shit#before his body was fully made and thats everything he could remember when waking up in his new body for the first time#to be clear he wasn't conscious the Entire time webber was working on his new body since webber kept him in a sleep like state mostly#only pulling him out of it for certain tests where he wanted his brain to be more responsive#mostly just to test like his eyes and ears and such#but yeah he got seperated from webber in a ~wild wacky storm~ and woke up alone in the constant proper#he is like soooo fucking miserable like all the time hes constantly feeling phantom pain and remebers just enough to know hes missing smth#and it only gets worse after he and abby are reunited because despite this being the one person he can vaguely remember being important to#him he cant seem to feel that same sense of familiarity he remembers feeling before and it just makes him more miserable#this ofc makes abby also freak out and since her way of dealing with things she doesnt know how to deal with is hard denial it gets worse#I <3 tragic siblings#but yeah wendy mostly copes with his situation by mangling critters into fucked up drone things to feel in control of smth#asside from the abby situation tho in general things start slowly getting better after he joins the other survivors#mostly just because he actually has to be like. a person. and while it is rly hard for him and he doesn't see himself as a person anymore#that doesnt stop unoticed progress from happening just due to the nature of being a person in a group of ppl who treat him as a person#and he and abby slowly start to bridge the gap between them but its very very rough for the first good while#its mostly a matter of abby calming down enough to realize that wendy is stressed out by this just as much if not more
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