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ultra-raging-ghost · 5 months

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Im real nervous main tagging this because ive said my main peace and i dont wanna clog the tag up, but i will say after some context given i have a couple more thoughts?

tw// SA, r//pe mention, etc.

This will be a controversial statement. Me personally, i dont really honestly care? About what he said? It was eight years ago and he hasnt repeated the actions so i dont honestly and truly care what he did eight years ago, he was 19 then hes like 26 now theres honestly and truly a BIG maturity distance between 19 and 26, but also it was. Eight years ago? Thats all i have to say on that?

I Also dont really care for how it was brought to light, from what ive heard from pt speakers the expose was done by someone whos publicly anti towards the Brazilian CCs and ive heard they've dug up some dumb things about pac that werent "hot" enough to get trending i guess and definitely werent condemnable enough to get him cancelled, so it's honestly and truly in my heart something i see as being done in bad faith.

Alongside this, ive seen translation screenshots from one of the "victims" (not sure her stance on being called this so its in quotes) stating she does NOT want to be aligned with these allegations and has changed her username and profile picture because she honestly doesnt wanna be involved and doesnt want it being spread around, this is something else i view as bad faith and if anyone was affected by this then its the best thing to do as they wish, this not only affects the person being called out but also their victim negatively, especially if the victims profile is easily attached to their real life and especially when the victim is a female victim of assault or rape or anything like that, i hate to say it but as an afab person ive seen it firsthand that thats honestly the culture surrounding assault victims, and most people dont want that being brought up or put out in the public. Im a victim myself - people view you differently, it affects platonic and romantic relationships, it affects jobs, you are actively hurting the victim by spreading this if they dont want you to do so and arent prepared for that to be spread around.

From what ive seen, some people are condemning Forever for getting a lawyer - i dont view this as him being automatically guilty. I view this as him getting a lawyer because this person on twitter has been actively harassing not just him but all the brazilian CCs on the QSMP. This is harassment, the case against them will hold up in court and Forever has said he will speak about this more when everything is said and done

Alongside this, i will say im unhappy with Forever specifically for his statement on the situation. It wasnt handled the way we wouldve liked it, but it also wasnt handled via ukelele, it wasnt handled the worst way it could've been. Ive heard pt speakers say it was kind of formal, there was some slang in there but overall i've read the translated statement and to me it sounds more like a legal statement than anything - he mentioned having a lawyer, chances are the lawyer helped him write it. To me it doesnt sound like anything he'd fully say which is why i was so put off by it at first but this makes more sense to me honestly, i dont know if anyone would agree with this.

TL;DR

All in all, i think its a shitty situation but nothing to condemn Forever over. I ask people be thoughtful regarding the girl affected, and dont spread shit around with her name or profile attached to it unless she states otherwise. It was handled badly on Forever's end and blew up WAY too fast on twitter.

I've generally seen people be well behaved on here, ive seen some strong statements but otherwise i like to think we're better than twitter.

This probably wont be my last post on this as we get more on the situation over the next couple days, but this is my main thoughts right now. I'm still choosing to remain neutral, but more mixed than anything.

#qsmp #the forever situation #forever player g

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roseamongroses · 1 year

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something about the history of spider-byte's name (and intial lack therefore of a last name) is calling to me. like even now that margo has a last name, ppl still don't recognize her civilian identity bc of how little screentime she had and the brevity of the comic appearance.

hmmmm ok i've marinated. idk much about tech so take the terms with a grain of salt and just focus on the emotional story. think i have some headcanons:

margo lives in a society where it's common to use virtual reality to escape/ experience life but margo is actually one of the more extreme cases of this escapism

she's friendly with others, something doesn't seem to be wrong, but her peersknow she's always connected to the vr/always online. they don't notice how little they know about her home life or about her, despite her being familiar with everyone else.

and this disconnect only becomes worst once she takes on the mask of spider-byte. helping people in the way she's always desired to be helped is fufilling, but it doesn't take long for margo to become lost in her online persona.

the longer she spends as spider-byte, the more the two worlds blur. and once she gains the ability to physically manifest her avatar, her spider abilities begin to transfer into her irl body

at first margo was excited about this change. she could finally be the hero she wanted to be inside and outside of her vr- headset, but she quickly discovers that her bodily automony is being manipulated.

sometimes her skin glitches, changing into a rainbow of colors without her say-so (she'd have to fake sick to avoid questions from her peers/parents) . sometimes when she splits her avatar her body doesn't immediately return and if it does it never feels the same. as if data is missing.

but most obvious is that her understanding of humanity--of herself changes. not in a cruel way, but she feels an alienation from human connection that she'd never experienced before. she saves the day, not because of her childhood desire to do good, to be saved and save others, but because it is her avatar. it is her purpose as spider-byte, not the dream of margo kess.

it's when margo catches herself refering to herself spider-byte, even when she was outside of vr relaxing that she begins to investagate further.

she begins to question her relationship with the cyber crime police department and how easily they accepted her" "vigilatism"/ eventually she tracks down conversations between the department and an unknown scientist/ leading cyber security company. i'm thinking of this being her "doc oc" connection, but im open to other villian parallels tbh

the thing is this "doc oc" knows that margo has been tracking them . they think its funny. they're facinated with their experiement and are very willing to play along with the investagation as long as they get to observe their subject.

the fact that margo got "bit" was part coincidence. the program/ bug was sent out to find a suitable host. someone isolated, someone online for long hours to properly conduct the experiement, someone who had the need to escape and become something more.

it could've been anyone. they were meant to be corrupted entirely by the program, only leaving behind a husk irl as they accepted their new reality. but margo was different her need to do good was so great that it redirected the prgrams goals entirely. allowing for her persona of a hero to infliratrate her real life and vice versua in a way "doc oc" had never seen before

doc oc at first wanted to let margo live as a hero . but her changing the bug--resisting its intended purpose intrigued them more. it wasn't enough to collect data on the experiement spider-byte anymore. now doc oc needed to break her. to rebuild her and understand what makes her so special

and this back and forth does mean margo loses a lot. some days she doesn't even remember her last name. but she's motivated now to reclaim her life, her heroism, and make sure no one else is taken advantaged ;like this again

#atsv #atsv hc #across the spiderverse #atsv spider-byte #spider-byte #spider byte #margo kess #atsv margo kess #spiderverse #headcanons #writing #long post

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definitelynotshouting · 1 year

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*cough* slides over a bowl of soup any hunger au thoughts...? /nf

-🍂

HELLO TEA ANON WELCOME BACK TO THE HUNGER AU SHOW

... i should probably make a masterlist of this au at some point. Anyway.

I've been thinking a lot about worldbuilding and how Players form, and just. Players in general?? Which, in an au thats specifically about a Watcher, that might seem a little silly. But i like to think about what the general baseline is seen as, to really dig deep into the differences between them!!

For Players, i think theres two general ways they come into being-- spawning in, or being born. Obviously the second one is a familiar concept so we dont need to talk about that, but spawning i think is actually more common for Players than being born. I imagine its a bit like new stars forming-- bits of code split off from the Greater Code and coalesce, forming all the components needed to make a Player. There's no infancy stage for spawned Players-- while some might spawn in younger than others, they generally tend to be young adults.

Im honestly thinking that, when Players first spawn, new servers do too. Singleplayer, of course; their first spawn and first spawnpoint, a protective cocoon from the harshness of the in between. This is where a spawned Player learns the difference between breathing and becoming, and where they acquaint themselves with the rules of the world around them. This is their casting off point-- eventually, most of them outgrow their first world and move onto newer ones, some multiplayer, some single, some hardcore, some modded. And most don't return, either, and the server is eventually recycled back into the Greater Code by one of its cosmic decomposers (eg: viruses).

The other thing im thinking about when it comes to Players is how they look when they spawn in. The thing about Player code is that there's layers. You have the type that's surface level, which dictates what your appearance looks like, and then the deeper code in charge of things like memories, personality, stats, etc. Because code is so scrambled in the beginning of a Player's spawn, the surface code is completely randomized!!! Players can look like anything at all, anyone at all, and can even have non-human traits from the outset. I also think this surface code can be fairly easily manipulated; learning to play with your own surface code is about the same level of difficulty as learning to code your own website, and occurs with a similar amount of regularity (which is to say, it's definitely not uncommon, but there are some people more adept at it than others, and a definite learning curve at the start). Playing with your surface code means you can make yourself look like anything, by give yourself new physical traits or just modify existing ones. It's usually recommended to do this with a spotter, though-- someone experienced with surface code who can look over your changes before you implement them to make sure there aren't any glaring mistakes, and step in if something glitches or you need help.

So yeah those are my current hunger au thoughts with regards to worldbuilding!! I'm also still picking at what Listeners are like, as well as their and Watchers' ecological niche in the universe-- I'm tempted to say both have a much more brittle, and less adaptable code structure, which makes their type of feeding an even more vital and necessary part of their survival. Gotta keep that code from deteriorating, after all!! Anyway thank u for asking, i am always happy to receive hunger au questions, and if anyone has specific questions they want to ask that is great and often gives me a good direction to jump off of when explaining stuff :]

#evo watchers #watchers #hermitcraft #3rd life #minecraft worldbuilding #players #minecraft players #evo listeners #hunger au #shouting speaks #asks #i just spent 45 min explaining hunger au to my partner who is currently drawing me sphinx!scar #you could say im Fucking Winning right now as the kids put it #txt

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writingonleaves · 4 months

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Hi I don't know if you've seen the video of Jack and that girl skating tonight yet but it got me thinking. Could you possibly talk about how fans react to Nico and Clementine if that makes sense? How do they find out? unless these are all spoilers of course🙏🏼 Love your stuff!

hi! yes i did see that video which i think is very cute tbh so good for him! please fix his hair babe and drop the link to the jeans they were cute. i really do appreciate this question for a multitude of reasons so thank you actually for asking so i can indulge myself haha

so i've actually thought about this a lot, as someone who is myself a fan and has been a part of many different fandoms (hockey is by Far not my first. i was on one direction tumblr back in the day and am convinced it prepared me for Everything). i always find it interesting as someone who's a Part of one but doesn't always engage if that makes sense.

my point is, below is how i think it would go (no big spoilers), and it's based off of hope, my experiences with what i (and im sure a lot of you guys) have seen and being realistic.

so Clem's instagram is private. that's important. and in my world, i don't think she ever goes public, even when getting together with nico and getting married (this is a spoiler but not really...you think im not gonna make them stay together? please).

okay so we've seen how people start assuming things based on who the guys follow on ig, right? so nico follows clem a few weeks after meeting her, but no one really cares. because people have done their basic research and anyone who's followed the hughes for a few years know that clem is a hughes and a family friend. its the same energy as jack following nina on ig. no one blinks an eye.

they start dating april 2024, and no one is really thinking anything. nina does follow her in the summer, which raises a few eyebrows, but nothing crazy.

clem does a semi hard launch on her ig over the summer, but again, she's private and none of her friends are snitches, so no one in the general public knows anything

we don't really know (or at least i don't) how nico is when he's a relationship because i don't believe he's been in one the general public knows about since going pro (again, could be wrong, but this is all based off my own knowledge). for example, trevor just did a hard story launch, jack did a semi one with a post when he was with sienna, etc etc.

saying that, i think speculation really starts when nicole (jesper's gf) starts following clem on ig sometime in late summer 2024 or right before the season starts. we know nico and jesper are close enough to travel in the off season together, so that's big. people start noticing that other devs players like timo and jesper start following her. blaring siren horns. that's pretty much confirmation

the hockey fights cancer article is released in the 2024-2025 season, so peopele are like oh damn nico bagged himself a beautiful, smart doctor?? good for him. move aside buddy. that kind of stuff.

hard launch on nico's end? this instagram post. they've been dating for a bit over a year already at this point. everyone goes nuts as they do

and then i imagine it's kinda like, generally good? obviously you're gonna have some crazies being weird, but people Love that narrative of clem growing up with the hughes and now dating nico

she's not as public facing as other significant others in the league, but i imagine behind closed doors she eventually does embrace the role of being the captain's girlfriend (which i hope to write about at some point). i picture something like her and nico helping out a family financially receiving treatment in the hospital when finding out they're devils fans. very behind closed doors, but extremely sweet and thoughtful. one of the kids she's treating is a huge jack fan? immediate signed jersey and tickets to the next devils game. that kind of stuff.

bc clementine knows how important all of this is. and shes always known.

and then its the typical stuff. she's spotted at games, during playoffs with the iconic wag jackets, family skates, christmas parties, various ig stories from the hugheses, nico, nicole, etc etc.

in terms of games, yes she does join the family and friends boxes once in awhile, but she absolutely LOVES being in the action. so most of the time, she's out sitting with fans. it's great. she's shotgunned many a beer with fans. devs fans adore her bc she really is one of them and doesn’t shy away from that. many say a captain + their SO represent the organization. she and nico do it perfectly.

i hope this answer was what you were looking for. this was so long winded and i apologize for that, but i did want to think out my answer because i think it's important and fun to think about!! thank you so so much for asking❤️

#sweet anons #k replies #the blue au

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frosted-luckycharms · 2 years

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why i love the sentiadrien theory.

(NOTE: this isn't a list of reasons why i believe the theory's true, i know that's already been talked about and debated a lot. these are just reasons i think it's a good twist in the story.)

it has the potential to be so powerful for adrien's character arc. whenever he finds a way to free himself, whether that's by getting a hold of his own amok, or even figuring out how to destroy his connection to it (personally i love the foil-miraculous theory so im rooting for the concept of a cool upgraded cataclysm), it'll be so meaningful as a symbol of overcoming abuse and finding freedom. ESPECIALLY if that comes in the image of using the power of destruction he was given to cataclysm his metaphorical shackles just like how he's cataclysmed physical cages and walls so many times throughout the show. just. the SYMBOLISM. chefs kiss

whenever mari/ladybug finds out about this, hopefully we'll get to see her go all Fierce Protector Mode to defend adrien/chat and encourage him that he's still an amazing and valid person (please?? this would be so cute????)

also since marinette, who holds the miraculous of creation, is known for her bravery, agency, and creativity- traits adrien as a senti never had a chance to have growing up- it gives more reason to root for her and adrien's relationship. she can help him heal, bring out his humanity and grow into himself. if that makes sense?? i read a rlly cool meta on this once but i forget who wrote it:(

it gives a meaningful reason for emilie's death. the plot of the show literally wouldn't exist if not for emilie dying (or falling into a coma if that's what you prefer), and it would be a bit anticlimactic to find out that the reason she died was because she just wanted to create, idk, robot assistants or a pet dog or something. whoever emilie created, she DIED for them, and so imo it only makes sense that the being she created was adrien, her child.

sentimonsters are such a good metaphor for abuse. since the show's for kids, it's hard to talk blatantly about heavy topics like abuse, but this lets them deal with it in a kid-friendly way. and i know this has been discussed already, but i don't think that using a magical metaphor lessens the gravity of the issue at all. as i saw someone point out, miraculous has always been a show that uses magical metaphors (akumas, superhero disguises, you name it) to talk about real-life issues both kids and adults deal with, and personally i think that's really beautiful.

it just..... honestly makes the show so much more interesting/dark/angsty???? in a way that's chillingly unexpected, but also makes so much narrative SENSE looking back on it, which i think we can all agree is the best kind of plot twist. personally as much as i love the lighthearted funny parts of the show (i do!!!), i've always been drawn to the contrast of its more tragic, epic-scale side (especially since seeing cat blanc aka my favorite episode lol). IM NOT EVIL I JUST LIKE PAIN, OK

all the potential for angsty fanarts/fics/other fanworks. i've seen quite a few of these but i know there's also a lot more out there i haven't seen yet, and i just love all the concepts that fans are exploring because of this theory.

sentimonster jokes/memes are hilarious sorry. but not really sorry because i am 1000% sure adrien "i-cope-with-my-problems-with-humor" agreste will be TOTALLY on board the jokes too once he gets over the initial shock/existential horror/etc

ok i think that's all i have off the top of my head but if anyone else thinks of more reasons plz reblog and add on!!! let's get some more positivity for this show's writing and for our senti cat child because he sure deserves it <333

#ml #sentiadrien #sentimonster theory #adrien is a sentimonster #ml sugar #ml theory #ml meta #pro sentiadrien #mine #miraculous ladybug

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taliskermortem · 11 months

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okay, rewatch/full watch thoughts - episode 8

under the cut because its long and i dont want to bore you all

don’t talk to me about junseong beelining it straight for seongho’s room as soon as he wakes up and then... holding his hand? on the way out? what was that

seonwoo saying he feels like he has to ‘repay’ yoonghee for always calling him with a date is one of the main reasons i don’t like him tbh, this isn’t about owing people its about finding a connection and if that’s how you’re viewing it then it’s never going to work and you’re just leading people on for no good reason

junseong panicking about his appearance just to ask seongho for a date is adorable... and yoonghee helping him is so cute

hyeongjoonie is so shy and awakward bless him, waiting for seongho to leave and double checking the mission card

not minseong stress smoking trying to figure out what the hell to do, i wonder at what point he realised it wasn’t actually first come first serve like hyeongjin implied it was

hyeongjoon is a bigger person than i could ever be

minseong has some serious guts tbh not sure i could sit down and eat a meal with someone i'm rejecting but he must have seriously made up his mind because there’s not really a way back from this for these two i think but who knows maybe the voicemail he left hyeongjin will soften the blow

but wow is hyeongjin perceptive, like he knew straight away something wasn’t right before minseong even said anything but he was very gracious about it

ugh I feel so bad for jeongwook, no one even considered asking him and he was just bounced around between people without anyone really telling him what was going on – i think he was looking forward to spending some time with hyeongjoon because they do seem to get along really well

junseong and seongho leaving with absolutely zero fuss? living for it

JUNSEONGHO DATE:

HOT PACK BOY I'M DYING

starting the date by insulting his hoodie? totally valid

not both of them trying to match the other with their outfits

seongho calling him out for being obvious

seongho straight up talking with his mouth full like they are so comfortable with each other i cannot handle this

seongho: “when the cat comes, i push it away… then my cat comes to be again” junseong: “so poor, it’s similar to me” i'm dead

both of them being neverous that outside of the house it would be uncomfortable between them and then realising its exactly the same as if they were just lying on the bed and chatting again

junseong saying he wants to leave quickly so he can have seongho’s phone number has me dying

junseong remembering from the first date that seongho likes desert boy has been gone from the very start

(on a side note koreans and cheese makes me nervous okay they do things with cheese that scare me)

exCUSE ME that bossy conversation, let’s talk about it romorrow? whaaaat

god the fact that they are able to talk to each other about how they feel, that seongho isn’t afraid to talk about seonwoo and junseong respects his feelings, that’s wild to me

WAIT FOR THE VOICE MESSAGES SEONGHO YOU WANT HIM DEAD

junseong already being worrying about not being able to give seongho all his attention when they leave the house i cannot believe how gone this boy is

JUNSEONG WHAT ARE THOSE SHOES THOSE ARE THE UGLIEST THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN

did these two do anything other than walk by the sea and eat food? (kind of hoping they did and we get some behind the scenes like we did when jeongwook and hyeongjoon when to the arcade)

walking. with. his arm. around. him.

yeah that image of them silhouetted against sunset? not processing that today

YOONGHEE AND SEONWOO DATE:

okay seonwoo has annoyed me before they even got in the car with his whole ‘wooooo’ thing. just stop.

yoongheeeeeee you deserve so much better im sorry

honestly, at this point i would rather seonwoo was outwardly possessive of seongho, like show some depth to those feelings you claim to have, at least that would come across as genuine this people pleasing act is getting exhausting

not sure how i feel about them going to personal places tbh, i know hyeongjin and jeongwook go to his house later too but yeah, not sure what i think about it

for a second there i thought yoonghee was going to say he had a nut allergy

wow seonwoo way to bring down the mood

god this is awkward, i wasn’t expecting it to be this awkward

god i feel sorry for yoonghee

yeah yoonghee you’re the ace

seonwoo is just incredible insecure isn’t he and like i get it but bro

also how is yoonghee more mature than a guy 12 years his senior

wow just say yes or no… seonwoo proceeds to give no answer at all… and now yoonghee wont give up again this poor kid just let him go i beg

guy just keeps asking why yoonghee is into him, please stop looking for compliments i'm begging you its embarrassing now

“will you really answer it” okay thank god yoonghee can see through his bullshit even just a little

“i want to rely on him” fuck you seonwoo

MINSEONG AND HYEONGJOON DATE:

THE CUDDLING ON THE SOFA HELP

#his man 2 #i gave seonwoo the benefit of the doubt but this episode killed him off for me im done #but junseong and seongho date was incredible and i cant wait for minseong and hyeongjoon

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ltsmoving · 9 months

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Please do talk about ur silly little guys *kicking my legs in the air*

(when you feel like it/have time of course)

its been over a week (im so sorry) but finally getting around to doing this

figured i'd talk some about the three ocs of mine that i've shown on this blog before, go into a bit more depth about who they are and what not! gonna put it under the cut for anyone interested :)

max is the lead singer of a rock band who has been cursed to constantly smile (he can close his mouth), a side effect of which being that he's permanently fucking starving. he's a born shape-shifter, but a learned skill of his is perfect vocal imitation, which helps his band getting hired for song covers, but also works as a great intimidation tactic or lure for prey. he has really good metabolic control, as well, so that's something ig lol. (also hes a sona based visually on mod pinkneck)

dave is one of his alters, a fellow singer, but in the band he's more of the songwriter half of 'singer-songwriter'. max being a shape-shifter lets him physically look like his alters which i think is neat. dave is stuck with the hunger side of the curse but not the smile. he has max's vocal imitation skill, but not metabolic control, instead his digestive mucus and enzymes contain a gaseous hallucinogen that cause his prey to trip balls while they're being digested. (hes a sona based visually on mod ringneck) (also i frequently draw him as a mad scientist because mad science rules)

in terms of voracious escapades, both of them are preds, max being an 'apex', dave being more likely to be prey. both usually fatal, both definitely engage in both soft and hard vore, and both don't shut up once they've caught you, they are monologue villains 100%.

mike is the fella featured in this post and he is one of my best boys. he is also a singer (i dont have a type i swear). not gonna get too deep into his story lol but basically he's the son of a goddess and a demon, just trying to live his life with his husband teddy (seen above, unused on this blog (for now)). i just like writing these guys into shenanigans since they're some of my longest standing ocs, along with some others that i'll be sure to give a light intro to if i do end up posting about them in the future :O

for the voracious escapades, both are kinda vore switches- teddy as pred is fatal, mike is safe, and they're purely soft preds. but it's not really their main thing for me! teddy's a feedee who loves being fed while lying on mike's howling hungry tummy. mike's into stuffing but mostly just likes seeing his husband so happy and full :)

anyway these are my fucking boring ass ocs thanks for coming to my ted talk get it one of them is called teddy see thats funny do you ge

#eddie made this #eddie rambles #dont really wanna tag this with anything yk #idk true itsmoving fans only i guess lmao #oc max #oc dave #oc mike #oc teddy

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blitzkennedyrieg · 1 month

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Hi! so i realised your very very underrated, no offense..

So, as a person who gets somewhat noticed, i will give you some tips.

#Hashtags jesus Christ they are important

A hashtag is something im sure all tumblr users or just most ppl on social media are.. they help connect people with things they enjoy and like, which brings more attention to posts. I realised you dont do much or any at all Hashtag(s) and unfortunately you kinda need to. Maybe about 20-30, i know that sounds like a lot but its relatively easy to make a hashtag. Put what your post is about in many many forms of saying it, and no you cant do the same hashtag, it doesn't work. But just say it in different ways multiple times. anything can be made into a hashtag and you'll see everything you make below. Just click then 20-30 more later. You'll probably get the attention you deserve.

when answering asks i notice a lot of people just put #Asks or #Ask as the only hashtag when answering someones ask..But..That probably wont work, just hashtag a lot about what its about, or what the person asked about instead of just putting #Ask or #Example name Asked..which also wont work if you're not remotely popular

Also, when it comes to oc's you might have to realize you probably wont get much attention. people are more interested in something they already know everything about, like pennywise..sorta. Im a pennywise fan, so my work about him gets popular, because it has a fandom, or spy, he has a fandom too! So there are more people to interact with it because they know about it, more than just and oc only you might know about.

I also wanna say it takes a little bit of time, and i see you are taking a little bit of time. So, i apologize if this was like, idk forcing? I would just like to see your art get more recommended or recognised because your art is absolutely amazing dude. Keep it going man!

(also i love both the pennywise(s) and spy art<33)

hello anon! thank you for the tips and compliments i actually appreciate them a lot <3 but the reason i don't really tag my posts is because i've been on tumblr for like 2+ years i think and my days of trying to become a recognised popular artist are kinda in the past

i think i deleted all my old posts but if they were still up you'd be able to tell i was trying to get seen because i did add like a bajillion tags. there was a point where i stopped adding as many tags because i was content with the like 5 people looking at my posts

i appreciate the attention i get with the tags i do add but most of the time i just tag my stuff for blog organisation purposes. especially when it comes to my like OCs and stuff i just tag them with their story name. it's mainly just for my mutuals and friends to see and if anyone else happens to be interested while looking through my blog then that's a plus

but thank you nonetheless :^)

#answered

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brandnewhuman · 1 year

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KAMSKI'S

DEVIANCY

STORY

∆ headcanons ∆

STARRING:

- my new favourite traumatised gen Z man -

(honorary mention to Gavin Reed and his aggressive gremlin vibe)

CONTENT:

Tw: childhood trauma, talks of abusive parents and implied nasty accidents, drug abuse, angst so much angst and no fucking comfort.

Summary: just me and my nasty little thoughts on how our brosky grow up

A/N: OFC I COME BACK WITH A POST AND THE FIRST THING I DO IS ANGST. I got too carried away with this stuff and i ended up deciding on maybe doing a part two if anyone would be interested. And yes, I didn't wait for the poll to be over cause I can already see this was everyone's favourite choice. IM ACTUALLY KIND OF NERVOUS CAUSE ITS BEEN SOME TIME SINCE I'VE POSTED SO HAVE FUCKING MERCY BROS anyway enjoy

///

This man as well as Gavin has a really big trauma baggage going on

I genuinely think that the Elijah we see in the game, while not entirely good with high morals like Connor, is not as bad as everyone is making him to be

He is the definition of fake it till you make it when it comes to confidence

I'm like 109% sure Elijah's family used to struggle with money or they never had to worry about it

there's no in between

I base that on the reason he "left" (mf was booted out of his own fucking company lol) cyberlife

Which btw, leading a whole fucking company when you're still a teenager wasn't fun, 0/10, he would not recommend

He has been taken advantage of in the most horrid way possible and I think that's why he is now that type of person who never does something for nothing

He has never shown an interest on making his creations for the sole purpose of profiting from them as much as he can

He has always wanted to do much more even at cost of not getting any financial benefit from it

That says two possible things

He has seen the effect money has on people and hates the idea of turning out to be money hungry like his parents, sacrificing something much more important and dear to him just for the sake of money

Which can come from either his parents pushing him so much just because they knew he was their only chance to get a the life they wanted and the sort of money they struggled to make

Or because he has seen how his family has ruined lives or relationships for the sake of keeping their high quality life and how they have pushed that idea onto Gavin and him too which ended up in Gavin not being looked after most of time since he was not fitting their standards of heartless high achiever from whom they could get something too

I would probably tend to believe more the poor background because of how Elijah presents himself

He's very laid back even tho he has the means to be more fancy

The few things ones see of his house during the game makes me believe that he's not very much into opulence but more in indulging himself with stuff he gets joy from rather than spend money on things that show off his wealth

And because I want to, like as a treat to myself

MOVING ON

I've already said it but I'll mention it again for context purpose

Gavin and Elijah are siblings. I know many in the fandom say they might be cousins but I like the siblings idea more

or it could be full siblings but because Gavin resents Elijah he just changed his last name so he wouldn't have to be associated to him or his family

Either way they don't get along anymore because how their parents treated them which is why they grow apart

They were not the type of parents who physically abuse but they did emotional abuse their kids

Gavin and Elijah were put against each quite a lot and they never got the chance to fucked up or do what they really wanted cause they parents made it very clear that their love and affection depended on how much the kids met their standards

And even between each other they weren't the best example as either adults, a couple or parents

Which ended up making Elijah's social interactions and relationships very difficult

I can see Elijah being one of those really delicate and surprisingly sensitive kids growing up

Like I feel like he had struggled a great deal with regulating how much and how often he showed emotions and because of that he got bullied a lot

LIKE HE WAS THE TYPE OF KID TO ALWAYS BE SO EXCITED WHEN TALKING ABOUT STUFF HE LIKED OR ALWAYS READY TO GIVE HUGS TO ANYONE

Which ended up in either getting his feelings crushed by people telling him he was annoying or not even listening to him at all

The only person who always had the patience and the willingness to match his energy when it came to certain things was Gavin

They absolutely defended each other at school even tho Elijah almost always ended up eating shit because he wasn't as strong as he thought himself to be

Bro got his physical demonstration of affection bullied out of him cause kids are cruel, adults are shit and my man here didn't stood a fucking chance

IN FACT i bet he got to a point where it genuinely weirded out when his parents tried to hug him or touch him in general cause he already learn that wasn't "their thing"

I truly believe he didn't always give a single flying fuck about androids and being a scientist in general

I bet he wanted to do something more artistic as a kid and he was very good at it but his parents always told him that being an artist is not a real job and it's a useless hobby because it doesn't gives you anything to live of from

So he just like kind of made being extremely good at school his whole personality

Like he altogether stopped having any type of hobbies ecc and if he did he just forced himself to not indulge in them

Which ended up in isolating him even more from other kids

He was basically already an adult when he was supposed to just be a kid and have fun

And obviously,besides Gavin, no one really understood him

He was too emotionally stunted for kids to relate or interact with him and adults were just overall condescending with him

The only time teachers or other adults noticed him was because of his academic results

It was Gavin who accidentally planted in him the idea of creating his own friends

Gavin loved to read classics and that's a hill I'm willing to die on

He stopped because when he started working he didn't had time

Elijah's enjoyed reading too which, again, was Gavin's doing

His favourite book was obviously Frankenstein

Which btw the Frankestein shirt he wears in the game? That's 100% Gavin's gift and he wears it as some sort of lucky charm

That was the one he used to borrow more frequently from Gavin

The thing went more or less like this

They both were arguing about whether or not the doctor went too far with certain things and, most importantly, if the creature did really deserve to live or not

Obviously Elijah took the side of the monster and Gavin said that of course he was siding with the creature since he did too acted always like he has been alive for like two days instead of 13

Which lead to Gavin making a reference to bicentennial man

Which he didn't understand cause he has never saw that movie before

One thing lead to another and Gavin made Elijah watch the movie which was what sparked the idea of androids in Elijah

YES, HE WAS INSPIRED BY THAT MOVIE AND NOT I ROBOT. THAT MOVIE WAS ABSOLUTELY HEARTBREAKING AND IT'S WAY BETTER ROBOT REPRESENTATION THAN I ROBOT

At that point Elijah was already like a fucking genius and was way ahead his grade even tho he didn't think until then what career he wanted to pursue

The problems between him and Gavin were already starting cause their parents started to notice how smart was Elijah compared to Gavin

At first he thought it was unfair to him because they didn't let him have fun or go out like Gavin

They pushed him to his limit and there have been a couple of incidents where, if it wasn't for Gavin that cared for his well being despite what was going on, elijah would've ended up really bad

then he started to notice how it was unfair to Gavin as well

because they were actually just not giving a flying fuck about what he did since it wasn't important anymore

It made him sick with guilt to see how their parents were visibly struggling to even do the bare minimum as parents when it came to gavin

And Elijah was already starting to have other type of troubles

being that young and skip grades where you ended up in a class full of older people wasn't the best and he did start to take very poor decisions just to make himself liked

It was some sort of silent rebellion too

He started taking drugs which initially were meant to just help him show his classmates he was "mature" enough

And then he just started to need them to power through everything he needed to do

He was so hellbent on his idea of creating a sentient being that could emulate humans if not perfectly even better that he didn't even care what he had to do in order to achieve it

And at that point both Gavin and Elijah hated their parents so he had no problems in using their "help" to get what he needed

I personally believe, like I said in the other post, that something really fucked up happened between Gavin and Elijah which resulted in a major fallout between them

Maybe it's because lately I've been thinking about hereditary (idk why since I have never seen the movie but whatever man) and the fact that I've seen the parents go batshit crazy because the son accidentally killed her sister (?)

BUT I'M UNFORTUNATELY HAVING THE WORST IDEA EVER

Elijah's parents are overprotective with him not out of love but out of interest cause exploiting your kid is always a great family bonding activity to choose

And they try to keep him and Gavin as apart as possible cause they think Gavin would "ruin" him and his future with his influence

So I feel like Elijah was pestering Gavin to sneak out together and do some cool teenager stuff he didn't get to do before as an attempt to bond with his bro again

Elijah was high as kite and that mixed with stupid teenager ideas and reckless rebellious teenage behaviour doesn't mix well

Long story short Elijah and Gavin got into a pretty bad accident and Gavin (fortunately or unfortunately depending on the point of view) got out of it without much harm

But Elijah did got pretty fucked up bro NGL

I can see how that, the fact that Elijah was not there to testify the fact that Gavin didn't do anything wrong and that it wasn't his fault, and the doctors finding traces of drugs in Elijah system obviously didn't ended up well

You can imagine their parents reaction

That was the point where I think Gavin broke off contact with his family completely and just got the fuck out of there

Like I said I can imagine Elijah carrying the guilt for the rest of his life and has never actually had the courage to try and contact Gavin after that

THERE'S SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO SAY BUT I FEEL I MADE THIS TOO LONG SO YEAH

#elijah kamski #elijah kamski dbh #elijah kamski headcanon #dbh fandom #dbh headcanons #detroit become human fandom #detroit become human headcanons #dbh fanfic #elijah kamski fanfic #neil newbon #detroit become human #detroit become human fanfic

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drdemonprince · 1 year

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hey i know what im about to ask for advice for isnt ur experience but i thought its possible someone else in ur audience has had a similar one its just starting to get unbearable. im in my early 20s and an autistic lesbian. im almost done with college, have had good friends here, have had good friends online as well, but to my knowledge no one throughout my entire life has had even a crush on me. ive never kissed anyone, no one’s asked me out, even as a kid at recess or whatever. like sometimes i even wish a boy had paid attention to me in that way because maybe then it prove theres not something wrong with me. its just so isolating because literally everyone else in my life has at least been kissed or had a crush situation by the time they were my age. ive tried to talk on dating apps but i just have zero confidence about it because no one who has actually seen me or talked to me for more than a couple times has expressed interest. maybe im oblivious to it being autistic but like i would know if someone said something explicit you know? i feel like it wont ever happen. idk. i think it would help to know if people thought the same things about themselves and then something did happen for them. because it just feels like im the only person alive with this experience who actually wants these things to happen (like i know ace/aro people are out there, its just not me)

Thank you for your question. I'll share some of my thoughts, with the huge caveats that I have not lived this experience, and hopefully readers with more relevant perspectives could also weigh in.

I notice here that you describe yourself and your relationship to attraction in terms of things happening to you, or you receiving certain kinds of attention. You frame yourself throughout this as the possible passive recipient of attraction. But what about what you want? How often have you expressed desire to somebody? How frequently and in what ways have you initiated contact, told someone you were interested in them, or invited someone on a date?

You mention using dating sites and talking with people, but those conversations never turning into anything more. That seems to be a very common problem in the lesbian dating world. I think a lot of women do not feel confident and comfortable in expressing their desires outright and it seems to lead to a lot of grinding of gears and people assuming that nobody is interested in them when really all parties involved feel too shy and disempowered to use their words and directly ask for a date.

I understand that to be a very common thing for queer women, though admittedly it is difficult for me to wrap my mind around as someone who was telling people on OK Cupid that i wanted to meet up and fuck them that evening back when I was like 21 years old, and who moves through the realms of steamworks and grindr and the cell block bar dancefloor now. I've had many interpersonal problems but telling somebody directly that I wanted to bang or even to hang out has not historically been one of them, and I really wish I could just lend some of that hutzpah over to my lensbian siblings because I hear people grousing about how dry apps like Lex are all the time.

It seems pretty glib and unhelpful for me to say "just act more like a bluntly direct gay autistic man" and to say that would be to ignore that a lack of confidence and queer women skewing a bit passive are probably not the only factors you're dealing with. There might be biases working against you like fatphobia, racism, or ableism that incline fewer people to openly express desire for you, and that's a real problem that operates outside of you and that no amount of self love can eradicate, and I think it's validating and important to just acknowledge when the deck is stacked against people.

But there are lots of people out there who will want to date and fuck you, for sure, even if you are dealing with any of those injustices, and additionally, I doubt from your message that you're doing anything particularly weird or off putting in your messages with people on dating apps that's like driving anybody away. You mention that you have a lot of good friends and that things are otherwise going pretty decently for you in life, so it really doesn't seem to me like anything you are doing or bringing to the table is "wrong". And over the years I have known a great many lesbians and wlw who were very social, outgoing, fun to be around, cute, and a total romantic prize who just did not fuck or date until their late 20s or 30s or beyond, because of some of the social forces I already described (and again I encourage my lesbian followers to contribute to the conversation because I know it's not my lane and I might not be explaining the phenomenon correctly).

If you haven't, I would suggest showing your dating app profile and messages to some trusted friends (maybe some gay men as well as other queer women?) to get a variety of perspectives and some reassurance.

But I think, based on the admittedly limited information that I have here, that you just need to approach people more and more directly, and that slowly through that you will become more comfortable with initiation and rejection, as well as with seeing yourself as a sexual being with agency, rather than a passive receiver of others' interest.

Try telling people directly that they are cute, that you like them, that you want to be around them, that you'd like to kiss them, that you'd love to go see a movie with them or tie them up or finger blast them or that being near them makes you happy or horny or etc as the situation warrants. If you havent already that is!

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wrotelovelytears · 2 years

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interpretation of Scorpio sun conjunct Venus in a natal chart?

Ohhohoho do i have words about this placement.....

Whatchu you mean by that?

A through lashing about Scorpio Sun/Venus

🥏People with this placement most def have issues with women in particular (not feminine energies).

🏍Its not all women either, its specifically more masculine (trait wise) women. The combination of the Sun's masculine energy and Venus's feminine based energy is the root of this.

🥏There is a tendency to favor Taurus like behaviors and/or Taurus people themselves.

🏍Yes this is partially due to Venus influence and the other half of it is it being the sister sign of Scorpio. One might take joy in cooking, homemaking activities, and physical comfort due to this.

🥏This combo can not stand people who are surface level.

🏍In fact they probably already know, they just wanna see if you gonna lie about it.

🥏Emotional vulnerability is something these people don't truly struggle with. I know many people say Scorpios (in general) have a hard time with emotional vulnerability, and this placement in particular not only wears their emotions on their face (yes you getting judged, no I don't actually care enough to do anything about it), they have a strong will to share their emotions with others. As well as encourage it.

🥏"mAyBE iTs MenTaL ILlneSs" Not to diagnosis anyone, but that oversharing and level of self hate ain't normal my good pal.

🥏I'll be honest I think this placement is a lot more sensitive than say a Scorpio Moon. Why? Again the active showing of emotions, not only that their self worth (as the 2nd house/Taurus rules over that, therefore Venus is tied to it) and how others see them is part of their ego.

🏍Yes that does mean ego deaths for this placement is actual hell. Their emotions and personality have to constantly change to deal with not only outside stressors but internal ones that are self imposed

🥏This a side note (and also a slightly biased observation), people might not be correct about your sexuality.

🏍So from what I've noticed (this might apply to Scorpio Sun and Venus placements as a whole), is that because you carry yourself in a certain manner, people misjudge your sexuality. It could be from heterosexuals being assumed gay/bi to gays/lesbians being assumed bi (at the most hetero). I'd say its partially due to Venus influence making people "more feminine than their peers commonly are" as well as Scorpio's general mysterious vibe. It makes it hard for people to pin point what you do and don't like because you exuded "I exist 🧚🏿‍♀ Im an experience🧚🏿‍♀" energy.

I'll use myself as an example, people (even my close friends) think I'm bi, and I'm actually a lesbian. I have been told countless times "I just look bi", "i don't have very lesbian like mannerism" and "am I sure???"

🥏I'll be honest this placement is OVERsexualized by probably everyone. Like my God, of you see a sexual astrology post, guess what placement you'll see. This isn't healthy for them however, it just furthers the idea they are only sexual objects to others and only liked when preforming sexual acts.

🥏Learned from an early age that people are unusual (derogatory). These native have had to deal with all sorts of projections and behaviors from those around them. It leaves them questioning why people act the way the do. Might even spark that interest in psychology (and the occult) to figure out why people do what they do

🥏Got bullied for their appearance when younger just to be praised for those same things when an adult.

🏍The Sun technically rules over how we are seen as adults (so the Rising doesn't have the same energy as when younger, unless your Sun is in your Rising). Its not that one was an ugly duckling, its more others weren't paying that type of attention to the native and as their Sun became more prominent so did their beauty (Venus plays that role)

🥏Another sexual note: This placement has a tendency for masochsadism. Being both the sadist and masochist in not only sexual but romantic situations as well.

🥏Most likely (and I'm sorry yall, it must be said tho) base their self worth on how attractive people see them.

🏍Its not like they want a relationship with said folks, they just want to be affirmed that they still got it.

🏍However this can lead to some maladaptive coping mechanism (staying in relationships that arent healthy, seeking external validation from people, engaging in things they don't want just to be seen etc)

🥏Since I'm on a "please get help" trend right now, I'll point out another big problem: Doing things just to feel something 🥳

🏍Yall thought Sags (and Pisces) were bad with their lack of concern for their safety. Wait till you meet Scorpio Sun/Venus. I'm not sorry at all, but the way maladaptive coping mechanisms (especially ones involving the senses) can become ones' whole being, is scary. I mean these the people to do drugs, not because their friends are but because they really down. The type to have multiple flings, just to feel the warmth of someone else because their own is gone. The type to self medicate, to see if it brings some new spark in their life.

🥏This placement struggles with feelings of grandiose and emptiness, typically at the same time.

🏍Grandiose is largely when they are seen as attractive, social (on their own terms), and flirtatious. Empty is when they heavily involve themselves in the material and physical world as a means of survival.

🥏Loves to beautify the darkest of things. Almost like a "light at the end of the tunnel" but more a "there is light inside the tunnel if you look for it"

🥏Piss shit relationships 💀 There's not other way to word it besides, relationships are typically toxic (or straight up abusive). These people tend to give a lot more than they should (as Scorpio is meant to receive just like Taurus) and then get confused why someone is treating them bad, and further excuse the behaviors (until it starts pushing their moral boundaries). (In no way am I excusing others treating someone badly, I'm simply pointing out a commonly seen theme)

🥏Amazing love advice. If you want an honest opinion on your relationship or potential one, a Scorpio Sun/Venus is definitely the person to go to. They will not only see patterns others don't, they won't sugar coat anything (no matter how much they love you).

🥏Not as attracted to/comfortable with masculine energies (gender neutral) as other placements. In fact might steer away from overly masculine people in general due to past experiences.

🥏Likes forwardness. Not obtuseness.

🥏Would definitely smile while being choked.

🥏Loves kids. Will they openly say that idk, depends on their fifth house sign.

🥏Really enjoys music and might even enjoy dancing and singing (when alone)

Images this placement remind me of:

Songs this placement reminds me of:

I Disagree- Poppy

Only- Zhu (feat Tinashe)

Wish You Well- PVRIS

Wild Thoughts- DJ Khaled (feat Rihanna and Bryson Tiller)

Siren Song- Maruv

Mary Magdalene- FKA Twigs

Human- Sevdaliza

Its Only- Odesza (feat Zyra)

Stuck with Me- The Neighbourhood

The Warmth- Koda

Let's Link(remix)- WhoHeem (feat ppcocaine)

Die a little bit- Tinashe (feat Ms.Banks)

Beings this placement reminds me of: Sirens (and water nymphs), Djinns (as a whole), Vampires, Phantoms, Phoenix, Pontianak, Banshee, Echidna, Nyx, Manticore, Sphinx, Abaia, Harpy, Succubi, Huldra, Anitu

Sorry, this honestly could've been better written, I'm currently having an AP depression moment and writing something is at least a way to get my mind off... Well itself.

(If you learned something new or would just like to support me you can leave a wittle tip via the tip button or one of the links in my masterlist. Ko-fi: nymphdreams 🧸)

#astro tumblr #astrology #astroblr #astro notes #astrology observations #astro observations #astrology tumblr #nymph writes astrology #scorpio #scorpio venus #scorpio sun #sun venus conjunct

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csmeanerr · 5 months

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At the risk of people coming at me, I don't know if I entirely see the issue with creativered?

His views are obviously problematic and the wording is harsh, I'm not denying that, but from the profile text, it seems like he kinda does his best to mind his own business and avoids interacting with the people he wouldn't be comfortable calling by their pronouns so that he doesn't actually "have to" misgender anyone?

So... Are we angry not about people being actively misgendered by him (which I haven't actually heard of anyone saying he's done to them) - We're angry about the hypothetical misgendering he would do if he had to interact with someone who doesn't have a common set of pronouns? That seems a bit mild for the amount of harassment I've seen him get through the blogs. Like obviously that's not good either, I just don't know that I feel good about someone being met with this sheer amount of vitriol about something that I don't know has even happened yet.

I'm just not seeing a lot of constructive discussions, only a lot of (granted, understandable) anger, but some people are just being extremely hostile to someone who's already avoiding them and it's verging on bullying which I don't really think is the best course of action here tbh. I kinda worry that kinda response will just push someone further away from even wanting to try and understand.

And at the risk of sounding uneducated, this is a very genuine question, do you really have to use all of someone's pronouns all the time? Say if someone uses both they/them and it/its pronouns, and you choose to exclusively use they/them for that person, for whatever reason, be it discomfort or grammatical struggle or what, is that then misgendering? Because I thought unless someone outright states a preference, using multiple sets of pronouns means that those are all equally okay to use? Sorry, this is something I've been confused about for a while.

post related

its definitely a hotly discussed topic and i can only give my own opinions

bullying would be to go to him directly with the intent to cause harm be it mentally or emotionally and as far as im aware the only talk has been anons commenting on how his views have made them feel. i will never condone for anyone to bully/harass/witchhunt anyone on this blog

i can only speculate but i will say it is not misgendering to use exclusively they/them for someone who uses they/them/it/its pronouns because it's part of the pronouns they'd be comfortable with being called. it can be a case-by-case basis on which ones they'd prefer more so make sure to ask someone personally

i believe the problem lies in if someone's pronouns are only it/its or the emoji/aesthetic pronouns and creativered would then not use those pronouns out of his own comfort, even if it means misgendering someone and thus harming them in turn. you're correct that all of this is hypothetical and i don't think any evidence of it happening has come to pass, and it's good creativered has chosen to stay silent as i highly doubt any reply from him would be necessary or wanted

the main thing im focused on is more the fact creativered has sent an ask to a drama blog when succubun has blocked people for interacting with drama blogs. so why is creativered getting a pass? is it because he's a brownnoser and gives yves and luca a load of money? is it because they might share creativered's viewpoints? it could even be a mix of both but regardless both are a clear favoritism

#succubuns #creativered

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dullahandyke · 1 year

Text

post got long whoops. tldr autism plus unmedicated adhd equals media hellscape

have recently come to the realisation that ive had a complex about art consumption for a long long time, stemming from when i was a tween watching playthroughs and reviews and never playing or watching the stuff the reviews were based on. and some of that was because i was young and didnt have a computer to play danganronpa on, but i've been pirating shows as long as i've been on the internet, yet i never watched any of the anime all the youtubers talked about because it was safer and easier to listen to them talk about it and the culture than it was to ever have to seek out something i liked, to have to have my own thoughts about it. and that's followed me for at least 7 years at this point, and like, fuck, man, i wanna get out of that, but like, it's just so easy to sink into fanon. i don't watch youtube reviews anymore, but i've gotten into more than one fandom almost solely by reading a shitton of fanfiction about it. and i (former owner of yourfavehasfewerficsthanthislamp [eimear lore, veterans discount, etc]) am well aware that fanon near-universally flattens and disregards its characters and stories, saying 'fuck canon' and often for valid reason but rarely making anything better than it, but hell, it's just something to shove down my gob. it feels like easy reading, like i don't have to have my own big thoughts about symbolism and characterisation because someone else has done it for me, and it's shitty to treat fanfiction as inherantly less meaningful, but i do it anyway because it feels like the reading equivalent of having momma bird chew my food for me, and it makes me feel guilty but it keeps me fed! and i've found that a solution for this is to get into something that i've never seen anyone talk about, that nobody knows the Right Opinions for, and blade of the immortal has been wonderful for that! it's a good manga that's so long that it deters anyone from following me down the rabbit hole on a whim, and i like having my own little pit! but then i read another manga and i post about it and someone replies with an observation on the manga, and i think to myself, 'oh god', i think, 'now the neighbours are coming over and i have to clean the living room, i have to make sure my opinions are fully-formed and my appreciation is proper and there's not any mess', and even then there's a shitty bit that feels indignant because i liked to feel special, unique, like i was the only person that knew that manga and someone else has shattered that illusion, and i know i should be happy to share it but i never quite grew out of wanting to feel cool and obscure and like things were MINE. and the thing is that the more i read only fanfiction, the more i can literally feel my braincells dwindling, and i WANT to read something more substantial, because i know that if i pick up a novel or a manga or even the base material for the fic im reading, then i'll have fun and feel intelligent, but it feels like building myself up to opening that book is a chore that opening ao3 simply isnt. i've wanted to finished batman year one, i've wanted to read the hunchback of notre dame, but what i end up reading is a 33k batfam fic that i barely even read, that i only ever skim because slowing down and appreciating things and sitting with them, even just slowing down to actually read them, feels less like the direct hit of stimulus that skimming is. and so i've decided that the logical conclusion is to 1) get into media that i have never in my life seen on tumblr, that none of you fuckers could ask me about if you tried and 2) never ever post about it or search for community around it. to allow myself to read things wrong and to not have the pressure of feeling like there's someone over my back in all this, like i'm not in fandom or criticising fandom but just existing on my lonesome. potentially even to the point of going on break from tumblr for a bit, because i love you fuckers and this is a neutral statement but fandom is unavoidable on here. and i would for sure come back to tumblr and i would maybe come back to less obscure shit once i

hold on tumblr has a text block character limit. anyway once i built up more confidence in myself and didnt feel any pressure to have the right opinions about shit, even if i never engaged in fandom again but instead just kept up with some popular stuff, like an office worker who casually watches breaking bad or whatever. and this is really what i should be doing, and maybe not now because the leaving is in *checks watch* literally a month and a half oh fuck. and i need to focus my brainpower on that (lol as if thats gonna happen) but i cant make a concerted effort towards the leaving if im working on reforming my media habits. but even in the summer i could do it and i should do it, and cut back a little now to make it easier than going cold turkey.

which is why now was THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME to get into batman via take-a-fucking-guess ding-ding-ding fanfiction osmosis, something which is both 1) undeniably mainstream enough that the odds of me meeting people in real fucking life to ask me about my Correct Opinions are higher than i would like them to be and 2) a labyrinth thats been built over the course of like 80 years, out of comics and movies and shows and games and the comics alone are a mess of timelines and reboots and crossovers and whoops-this-character-is-in-this-comic-now-better-fuck-off-over-there-if-you-want-to-find-them that wreaks absolute HELL upon my 'i wanna be sooo well informed and read all the stuff and take no shortcuts' approach that kicks in whenever i DO start actually engaging in shit instead of just the fandom.

like sigh ill muddle through it because i picture dick grayson in motivational posters nowadays to help me do shit like get out of bed and climb stairs and take out my books, and i wanna return the favour, and like im getting closer 2 figuring out how to approach it (turns out the answer is 'one step at a time'. fucking shocker) but also fucking christ. idk idk idk ill go finish batman year one and then at some point ill watch the 2022 batman movie and then ill figure out where to go from there

#yes i AM autistic why do you ask?

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samisnotlegend · 2 years

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I've been thinking a lot about how, in canon, bakugou has literally never shown romantic or sexual attraction to anyone. And honestly, I do see him as aroace. Deku though? He's definitely shown at least some interest in girls in the series, which got me thinking. Personally I like the idea of bisexual deku, but I think it's an interesting thought experiment to actually think of him as straight. Because it makes the canon bakudeku dynamic all the more interesting. Like, these two guys who have no romantic or sexual feelings for each other, even when one of them does feel those things for women specifically, have an irreplaceable bond thats acknowledged by people in the series.

It got me thinking about a scenario where a straight version of deku would still choose to be in a committed monogamous queer platonic relationship with bakugou and as someone who is aroace that kinda makes me tear up. Because you never really hear about alloromantics willingly choosing to be with aroace people in non monogamous contexts. But I genuinely think that's something canon bakudeku would do. I don't think horikoshi would write it that way for various reasons, but, for the characters themselves, I could see it happening.

Anyway, I just had brain worms and figured Id share them with a fellow aroace bakugou and bakudeku enthusiast

Thank you for sharing!!!!!!!!! I am honestly fascinated by this as well. Because like,, yeah sexuality/romantic stuff aside, bkdk DO have an irreplacable bond in canon. And its fascinating. This actually reminds me of someone saying once that only ace/aros distinguish between sexual and romantic attraction, which I don't think is true?? I remember when they said it, I immediately thought, well, what about 'bromances'? Like granted, im acearo so I guess I can't say for sure, but it seems to me like you CAN have a romantic desire to be close to someone, to be important to them (maybe even the most important) without being sexually attracted to their specific gender. Its something I've never really seen talked about, but the idea intrigues me.

Anyway thank you for this line of thought! Its incredibly intriguing. And I like the thought that no matter what mix of sexualities each universe gives bkdk, they will always, always be important to one another.

#this makes me want to ramble on and on about love and understanding and friendship and just blah blah blah #tbh i really perceive sexuality as super fluid too which just adds another interesting layer here #bkdk #ask #acearo #ace stuff #aro stuff

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grapecaseschoices · 1 year

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i usually don't send asks and i would send this off anon, but im scared of getting hate on this, since ive seen quite a lot of discriminatory behaviour in if fandom spaces when it comes to poc opinions so imma just stay anonymous if that's ok with u.

i came across a post you posted a while ago regarding the if ROs and the lack of diverse characters when it comes to darker skin characters and i just wanted to say thank u for making that post. i hope it gives writers and the fandom some food for thought. ive been noticing ever since i got into the if community that black/ros of black descent tend to almost always be the less popular ros and as a mixed black person myself it's really sad to see. you also mentioned the lack of darker skinned east Asians/south East Asians if i recall correctly (if not please feel free to correct me) and I honestly couldn't agree not. ive noticed in some ifs that the characters of color that are the most popular tend to be those of east Asian descent with paler skin or poc ROs who's ethnicity is left ambigious by the author and whilst I'm really happy that there's been more progress made in terms of diversity, i would love to see more black characters who aren't sidelined to the best friend stereotype and more poc characters who's ethnicity is made clearer.

some south east Asian friends of mine who are of Hmong-Thai and Agta-Filipino descent have also mentioned they would would love to see more South East Asian ROs as well as East Asian ROs who are darker skinned, because the majority of the rep that there seems to be for Asian characters are those with paler skin. its a similar feeling for Latinx ROs, i almost always see lighter skinned Latinx ROs being represented in the majority with a lack of darker skinned Latinx ros. I'm not forcing anyone to add diversity to their game ofc, but the ratio of poc ROs to white ros on some games have made me kind of sad to see, specially when there's like 4 or 5 white ros and then 2 ros of colors who seem like they were just kind of tacked on for representation points, but their backgrounds are left ambigious and no Nationality or ethnicity is ever mentioned by the author which kind of leaves me scratching my head ngl. there's also a prominent lack of SEA and SA rep in terms of ROs, so I'm always happy when I see one! I would also love to see more biracial characters who aren't half white, since we aren't all a monolith.

regarding black ros. in my time in the community whilst ive seen an increase in the amount of black ROs, seeing them always be the least popular in polls still makes me quite sad. i hope that fandom can become more open minded and give more black ROs a chance. on the other hand I've seen a lot of greatly written black ROs in comparison to back in the day, and I'm glad people are incorporating more ROs based on their culture which is great!

sorry about this essay, but i hope it doesn't come across as rude or offensive, it's just something that has been on my mind ever since ive seen your post regarding the lack of representation in if. English isn't my first language so I hope I expressed myself alright.

negl, when i the way you started and then the length of this post, i foreal thought it was gonna be a fight. so, it was a relief that isnt the case. i honestly don't think there's anything for me to add, because you said my feelings and all i could do is nod along as i read this.

though, i'm glad that my post struck a chord for you. (is that the thing to say?? i'm not even sure. i guess my purpose for that post was pointing out the ignored part and bringing on encouragement as well. so, while i'm glad it encouraged you to share your opinion and made you feel less alone in feeling uncomfortable with what you were seeing -- it sucks that things haven't changed to a point where you can feel comfortable saying your thoughts off anon without being harassed. like yikes [not at you, but at fandom]. roflmao. like this is 2023. we really STILL at a point where we're going to make people feel bad about having a GENERAL issue with the racism and colorism that if writers & the if fandom continue to show? rather than … idk continue to DO something about it.)

i would love to see more black characters who aren't sidelined to the best friend stereotype and more poc characters who's ethnicity is made clearer.

i have actually seen some improvement, too. either from the fandom directly zeroing in and supporting black characters (i know the polls can seem disheartening - and i had a feeling that's what drew you to my inbox - but there HAVE been moments where the black character would be the most favored ro -- buuuuuut .... sadly, it is still so rare that i continue to be surprised when it occurs) or in the if writers boosting black characters because they have an awareness regarding fandom's bias. i definitely do think we need more of the latter, tho.

i still think there is a very long way to go. extremely. like i think in general, despite the imporvements we have both observed, a lot of the newer games i've seen ratio is still low like you said. it's a mix instead of being - at least from my observation - as consistently majorly white like it used to be. now i'd say the ratio is aybe 3 (white characters) to 2 (characters of color, of different races) ... as opposed to 3:1. Whoo. BUT i've seen what you mentioned too, still -- too many games are still so white. And if they're not, they're more often than not theyll be light skinned East Asian or black (or mixed... with white). Or an ambigous Latino that I can't tell if they're a white Latine or meant to be a character of color. So, yeah ... i don't know what it is. a fear of writing characters of color, not finding characters of color romanceable, or just a lack of awareness.

Like I guess I agree with you (lmao), I don't want to "pressure" people to have diversity either --- mostly because the people who get hurt in cases like that are minorities reading the story. My desire, I suppose, is a want to understand. I know a lot of IF writers have the idea that 'my story is for me', and in a sense, I agree -- I think we shouldn't expect writers to bend every bit of story to the fans (not even an interactive story). I've seen the mess that can create. However, if you wanted it to be JUST your story, you would've left it in your journal. You want engagement and participation -- you want to share, and I believe most stories should be shared. So, why as an artis wouldn't you want to make a story where .... I don't know. I'm tired. I've kind of gotten to a point where I'm just like whatever. I'm disappointed in myself for expecting better from IF writers and the IF fandom.

BUT I am glad that you and your friends are not only discussing but EXPECTING better, because you deserve it. Because your friends deserve to see and engage with characters who are SEA (of all shades, but especially of darker skinned). You deserve to see mixed raced characters who aren't half white (or light skinned), because as stated yall arent a monolith -- that isn't all there is in the world. (And it's WEIRD to me, like WHY do we AUTOMATICALLY assume mixed/biracial = partially white? I mean I KNOW why but COME ON! lol.)

*sighs*

i WILL say though, again, it's not all bleak: and i have seen variation of the TYPE of characters of color -- like it isn't always the cold e. asian or the black emotional pack mule best friend. so that's good. and i hope that continues.

and you're fine, dove. i actually appreciate your ask because like i said i was feeling kinda ho-hum about things but this sorta sparked a fire in me, roflmao. you expresse yourself just fine, and honestly despite the essay i wrote back i really didnt have anything worth adding.

#grapecase answers #interactive fiction #representation matters #diversity #fandom stuf #if fandom #h o n e s t l y #just read what anon said because i honestly didnt say anything different #they got all my feelings in a nutshell and i just very wordily parroted them back #everything under the cut is just anon getting me in my feelings #you got me hype again dove #i was just feeling so blergh about this whiteness in if and the fandom #but you're right the discussions SHOULD continue and you're also right that there HAVE been some cool stuff -- like i agree #i am really loving people writing stories or ros based on their culture #it's grand #i hope anyone who sees this isnt put off by the length and takes anons words as encouragement #do that research and give us that SEA ro #give us that mixed race dark skinned RO #give us that afro-latine RO #come on you know you want to #the world is so diverse. and the if community is just so broad. how could you not WANT to engage in the voices that you expect / hope to #engage with your imagination and your heart #idk what im saying but i have feelings on this that i need to ponder #anyway #long post

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