#//mr steal yo snacks
Note
Z = zzz’s (bed sharing/one bed) with simmons please :3
Red Team Sardines
“This has to be some kind of mistake.” Simmons stared at the singular bed in the hotel room.
“Huh? What’s wrong?” Grif tugged his suitcase in after him. Bumbling on its wheels, it loudly slapped the door frame and closing door in succession. Grif got it into the room with another strong tug from his deceptively muscular— Focus, Simmons!
Simmons cleared his throat. He gestured. “There’s only one bed.”
“There’s room for both of us. Just stay on your side.”
“You sprawl and… hug. In your sleep.”
“So?”
“Sarge has the other keycard.” No way did he want Sarge and Donut walking in on them like that.
“Point taken. I dunno, you could sleep on the floor?”
“I think I need to have a word with whoever’s in charge. I’m sure it was two twin beds. Why would Sarge book a single bed room when there are four of us?” Simmons noticed Grif eying the bed like an old friend. “Don’t get too comfortable, we’ll be in a new room soon.”
Simmons ran over a few possible conversations in his head. The lady at the desk was really pretty, and that was sure to trip him up. He needed to be prepared before he marched over and inevitably got flustered after a few words.
“Uh huh. Sure, Simmons.” Grif strolled over to one side of the bed, his bulky dingy suitcase sending Simmons’ perfectly shiny metallic one careening just as he took a step toward the door— Simmons yelped as his crotch sank too far into the suitcase handle. “Son of a bitch!”
Grif winced sympathetically. “Ooh, been there, buddy.”
“I don’t,” Simmons grimaced, “have as much feeling there since my surgery, but yeah. Not great.” Simmons staggered over to the other side of the bed and flopped onto his back.
“Sarge did something in the front too?”
“No! I mean— it doesn’t matter. Still hurts like a bitch.”
Grif flopped onto his back on his own side of the bed.
Simmons squeezed his eyes shut as he waited out the pain. He thought every curse word he could think of. “This wouldn’t have happened if you were more careful with your stupid suitcase,” Simmons fumed.
Grif lazily turned to meet Simmons’ eyes. Their faces were less than a foot apart. Grif raised his eyebrows. “What? You want me to kiss it better?”
Simmons’ face heated. He grabbed a pillow and whacked Grif. Simmons glanced at the door. It was still closed, at least.
“Yeah, yeah.” Grif pulled the pillow under his head. “There we go.” He sighed. “Much better.”
The door swung open, Sarge wearing his all-red hat, shirt, and shorts that made him look more like a fire hydrant than usual— Grif had pointed this out earlier; Simmons would never say that to Sarge’s face.
Sarge was holding his duffel bag. “Simmons. Grif. Sounds like there’s been a mix-up with the rooms.”
“No kidding,” Grif said, lounging comfortably while Simmons— who had bolted up the moment the handle turned— sat on the edge.
Donut dropped his obnoxiously pink sequined bag on the floor “Turns out we only got ONE room. Total!”
Simmons blinked. “What.”
“All the other rooms are full tonight, so I couldn’t get us another one. We’ll just have to sleep in a pile like a bunch of baby rabbits.”
“Aww I love baby bunnies!”
“I even asked them to check the back. No dice.”
Grif scooted up to a sit. “You asked them to check the back of the hotel for… what? More rooms they forgot to put on the shelves?”
“Sleepover time!” Donut ran into the room and hopped onto the bed.
Grif frowned. “Donut, if you steal the blanket from me tonight, I will smother you with a pillow in your sleep.”
“Woof. Someone’s tense. Ooh, anyone want a massage?”
Everyone groaned.
“Oh, don’t be shy you guys!”
——
Sarge prodded Grif’s arm. “Move your ass, Grif. I’m not gonna sleep on top of you and you sure as hell ain’t gonna sleep on top of me.”
Grif shifted position and crossed his arms as Sarge sidled in next to him. “How are we all supposed to fit in one bed?”
Sarge nodded his head over towards Grif. “Simmons, get over on the other side of Grif.”
“We’d be crammed so close to each other though.” Simmons tried not to think too much about that. A red face was the last thing he needed when he was already dealing with a bunch of stupid butterflies. What was he, gay? (Author's note: yes.)
“So?” Donut said, “It’s not like you’ve never touched each other. You two have slept together.”
“What??” Simmons and Grif both said. Simmons felt Grif tense as he did.
Grif quickly added, “I don’t know WHAT you’re talking about, Donut.”
“What?” Donut wiggled away from the edge of the bed, cramming Simmons closer to Grif. “Didn’t you share a bed last time we went on a Red Team vacation? You can sleep together one more night, jeez.”
Simmons’ mind had immediately jumped to the euphemism but this was Donut. He dropped innuendos constantly. It was best to try to ignore it.
“Somebody get the light,” Sarge said. “We start hunting Grif at the crack of dawn.”
Simmons elbowed Donut, who elbowed him back.
“The light,” Simmons hissed.
“Ohhhh.” Donut obliged.
“Can it be the crack of the afternoon?” Grif asked. “Also, can’t someone else be the victim first for once?”
“No, it’s alphabetical. You first, numbnuts.”
Grif grumbled. “Fine.” He rolled over. “Stupid alphabet.”
The room was now dark, but Simmons was extremely aware of the two men sardining him. Oh god there was so much body heat and so little space. He was going to wake up uncomfortable and sweaty. Or worse, nuzzling into Grif or Donut thinking they were a pillow in his sleep. But, counterpoint, he really didn’t want to sleep on the floor. He’d at least try to put up with it. At least for tonight.
A few minutes passed. Sarge had already started snoring.
“Wait, Donut’s D!”
“What about my D?”
“Everyone shut. Up.”
#:3#it’s being weird and glitchy ;w; hopefully it posts alright#okay it doesn’t show a couple lines at the end if i include a read more apparently so that’s weird#red vs blue#rvb#rvb my fics#//the husbands#//*windows error sound*#//mr steal yo snacks#//*cocks shotgun*#//*the tinkling of champagne glasses *
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hi hi hi :) could u maybe write a thing abt like reader and hazel being childhood friends who slowly start to fall for each other but don’t say anything for a long time and then maybe they get into an argument of some kind and confess their feelings??
idk if you’ve done something like that but it just crossed my mind!
sour grapes – hazel callahan
— your scent is still unripe and green.
childhood friends to lovers. fluff. yearning. kind of long!
hazel could still remember the first time she became your friend. it was back in kindergarten. you had just moved into town and you were the new kid. but to her, you were known as the kid with the mcdonald's strawberry shortcake keychain where her hat slides to the side to reveal a lip balm.
little hazel was collecting all four characters— she had around 3 orange blossoms, 2 ginger snaps, and at least 5 angel cakes —but she couldn't get her hands on the strawberry shortcake one because it's always out. so when she saw your strawberry shortcake dangling from your backpack, she came up with a plan that she spent two days devising; she'll steal your keychain in exchange for one of her angel cakes.
of course her plan didn't work. it was snack time when she found herself in front of your backpack, smiling at the sight of strawberry shortcake. she was about to take the keychain off after applying the balm on her lips rather messily when she heard a loud gasp behind her. hazel quickly turned around to see you already stomping towards your teacher. "miss sandy!"
panicking, hazel ran after you and pulled on your hair to try to stop you. it did stop you, but it also made you start crying. a concerned miss sandy marched towards where you were standing. "hey guys, what's happening here?" she crouched down to your eye level while rubbing your back to calm you down, her pretty pink floral dress creasing. "what's wrong sweetie?"
"hazel was trying to steal my strawberry shortcake and she pulled my hair," you pointed at her as tears came out of your eyes and snot came out of your nose. you were sobbing so hard that miss sandy didn't understand a single word you said, but deduced that it had something to do with your keychain. you had gotten it on your birthday. you liked strawberry shortcake but you weren't much of a big fan, you only liked her strawberry scent on her head. but nonetheless, it was a birthday present and you cherished it with all your heart.
when you saw hazel's bag with an angel cake keychain, you were elighted because you both have a lip balm keychain from mcdonald's. you wanted to become her friend but you were too shy to approach her that's why you planned on sharing your grapes with her that day. which is why your heart sank when you saw her hands about to take strawberry shortcake off your bag that has your grapes in it.
"i didn't mean to!" hazel started crying as well, her mouth and cheeks glistening under the light because of the lip balm. she was embarrassed that you caught her in the act and was nervous that you would hate her for eternity after this incident. after your mothers were called to school by miss sandy to discuss what happened and after hazel got scolded by her mother, the both of you found yourself sitting across each other in mcdonald's with your moms. mrs. callahan lightly nudged hazel to apologize, which hazel hesitantly did. "i'm sorry," she looked down at her lap, kicking her little feet as you stare at her.
"honey, what will you say?" your mom cooed, nodding towards hazel's direction. you didn't want to forgive her for what she did. that keychain was still yours and you're stingy when it comes to things that belongs to you. but then you felt bad because you wanted to be her friend and you'd gladly share your lip balm with her if only she had asked you in the first place.
she noticed that you took a pink item out of your mother's bag. it was the strawberry shortcake lip balm keychain. "let's share," you grinned as you hand her the keychain. hazel looked at you with wide eyes, her blue eyes shining in excitement. the two of you played in the playplace after that.
from then on, you and hazel were inseparable. every trip, every dinner, your family and hazel's family were together. the both of you would also have sleepovers at each other's place. most of the time, you preferred to stay over at hazel's. you would spend hours on playing tekken or grand theft auto or bratz on her playstation before getting scolded by mrs. callahan for staying up late.
as years went on, your friendship grew closer and closer until it doesn't feel like friendship anymore. hazel was the first one to have this epiphany back in ninth grade. she couldn't pinpoint the exact moment but one day, everything about you seemed loud; in a good way. you were radiating like sunbeams in the sky, blinding hazel by your beauty and your presence. since then, she keeps forgetting that you've been friends for years. who could blame her. you always took her breath away every time you'd smile.
confused at this newfound feeling, hazel decided to keep this feeling all to herself. after all, it would probably go away soon enough.
she thought it would go away. she really hoped it would. but it never did. there have been multiple instances where she was so close to confessing, but the fear of getting hurt by your rejection and the fear of your friendship ending would always stop her from doing so.
you realized that you were falling for hazel during the year the fight club was created. you were inseparable up until this point in your lives as she became more busy and involved with the club as one of its founding members. when she invited you to join, you rejected her invitation, joking that you don't want to ruin your beautiful face. she somehow took this joke very seriously and distanced you from the club, eventually distancing herself in the process. this, of course, hurted you but it didn't come as a surprise. hazel seemed to be walking on eggshells around you. at first, you thought nothing of it. you became concerned when it continued after that. you found it weird as she had never acted that way before but you brushed it off, assuming it was nothing.
it was lonely without her and it would be a lie to say that you weren't jealous of her club. she's your best friend since kindergarten, why is she spending more time with them than you? they don't know her like you do. from your point of view, it seemed like she was too engrossed in the club that she forgot that you existed. but from her point of view, she was suffering from not hanging out with you despite preoccupying herself with the club to get you out of her mind, that same feeling still lingering in her chest.
you took care of hazel when she got beaten up by tucker. mrs. callahan— who's now different in your eyes after learning that she was sleeping with jeff —was glad that her "daughters" were hanging out again, recalling that time you poured alcohol on the cut on hazel's knee. unlike before, you were more gentle at cleaning the multiple cuts on her swollen face.
the sight ultimately broke you. you could still hear her head making contact with the gymasium floor, making you wince every time you remembered it. you wanted to run towards her, shield her from the big white guy— seriously, why the fuck is he not expelled yet? this school is a joke, you thought. but he was tucker and he was caged for a reason, and you don't know a thing or two about self defense. all you could do was watch in fear.
on the second night of your so-called "shift", you sat at the corner of her bed after putting away the ice pack and the antiseptics to see if she's in any discomfort while sleeping. she looked peaceful in her slumber despite her swollen eyelids painted in disgusting red, black and blue hues. you just wished that the healing process would speed up so that you could see her bright eyes again. your eyes travelled down to her parted lips, finding yourself staring at it for a long amount of time. you were aware of hazel's unbroken routine of always applying lip balm which obviously started back when you were little but this was the first time that you noticed how soft they looked. you wondered what her lips would feel like on your—
you were snapped out of your daydream when hazel stirred in her sleep, making you abruptly but gently standing up from her bed to avoid interrupting her rest. what was that about? you don't just randomly daydream about kissing your friend, especially when they're in a horrible state. cringing internally, you laid down on the sleeping bag on the floor, shutting your eyes so you could quickly fall asleep and forget about your thoughts. this is normal right? right?
you were in denial the whole time you were at hers, attempting to be your usual self around her. but because of your recent thoughts, you found yourself unintentionally hesitant and self conscious with your actions. you were pretty sure that her fight club friends— minus pj and josie —found you weird for checking on her band-aids every minute and for acting like a mom the whole time they were over. but they were nice and you despised yourself for not liking them in the first place.
hazel was thankful that you stayed by her side and took care of her no matter how distant she became. she wasn't proud of what she did and apologized to you after the fight club left her house, leaving the both of you alone in the living room. "it's not a big deal," you wearily smiled. she hoped that you weren't tired of her.
you and hazel hung out like you used to. playing games until early in the morning, talking shit about the people you hated in school, cooking in the middle of the night. she even invited you to watch the football game against huntington with her. it's been awhile since the both of you went out together. this made you happy. maybe the previous thoughts that you had were only because you missed your dear friend. it was nothing.
you thought it was nothing. but when you saw pj and hazel making out in front of you, you felt like you were going to puke. you hurriedly left the bleachers and ran all the way home. your heart was clenching in your chest and you couldn't help the tears from streaming down your face. why did it hurt so much? why did you have to see it? you wished that you never met her in the first place. that you didn't become friends. if you did, maybe this wouldn't have happened. you stopped running as your legs made contact with the ground, heaving as you did so.
during the following weeks, you were now avoiding hazel. you shut down all of her attempts trying to talk to you, wanting to ask you about your whereabouts that night after they knocked out all of the football players. hazel was beyond frustrated that you were ignoring her calls and messages. she tried ambushing you in the classes that you both shared and didn't share together, but you had somehow left the classroom without her noticing.
after the fourth week, hazel finally got you cornered at your house. screw your mom for being so fond of her. your house lacks female solidarity.
"why have you been ignoring me?" hazel spoke after glaring at you intensely that you're pretty sure if she was a deadly laser right now, your skeleton will be left behind. you looked away from her eyes and stared at your pillows. you were both standing in the middle of the room, your arms crossed over your chests.
you shook her head and muttered, "you wouldn't understand." you don't want to let her know that you like her more than a friend. you don't want to get in between her and pj's relationship. you don't want to be that kind of girl.
hazel huffed and rolled her eyes, her hands now resting on her hips and her tongue pressing against the insides of her cheeks. "oh i'd love to understand why you decided to ignore me out of fucking nowhere."
your brows furrowed as you stepped a little closer. "that's ironic," you chuckled at her. "like you didn't ignore me when you started your little fight club."
her eyes widened a little bit. hazel was thrown off at what you said, the knot in her stomach getting tighter. "no, i—"
"wow..." you breathed out, shaking your head in disbelief. "so it's only okay when you do it?"
"you didn't talk to me!" she stepped closer.
"you didn't talk to me either!" you stepped closer. hazel could see that your eyes were filled with rage. bottled up emotions from when she was ignoring you started to peek through. "if you were going to ignore me for pj, you could've just fucking told me! you could've been honest!"
she cocked her head to the side. "pj? what does pj have to do with this?"
you stepped back and paced the room, one hand on your hips and the other on your forehead. hazel was confused when you brought up pj. sure, they kissed, but it was for a distraction. the whole time she was kissing her, you were on her mind. but of course, you don't know that.
"you didn't have to hide your girlfriend, hazel."
huh? hazel thought. "what girlfriend?"
now you were confused. "pj? i mean... you guys made out in front of the entire school—"
"that was for a distraction!" hazel then started pacing around the room while you stopped and watched her.
"distraction for what?!"
"huntington was about to kill jeff by spraying pineapple across the field during the game," hazel explained while you try to search for any lies in her eyes and words. "my bomb didn't work so we needed another distraction to stall the game— wait, shouldn't you know this? weren't you at the game?"
you swallowed and wiped your hands on your shorts, trying to calm yourself down and not cringe at what you're about to say next. "i left... when you and pj... y'know..."
hazel took a step closer to where you were. "why'd you leave?"
"because..." you stuttered, looking at anywhere but in front of you, words stuck in your throat as she took another step closer. "you wouldn't want to know."
"tell me," her voice dropped into a whisper, now only inches away from you, blue eyes piercing into yours. "why'd you leave?"
you took a deep breath and pursed your lips, mentally cursing yourself and everyone in the world. "i couldn't stand watching you kiss pj."
"why?" she took one step closer.
"because i like you." closer.
"of course you do," she chuckled and walked once more until her face is centimeters away from yours. "it'd be weird for our friendship if you don't."
she didn't want to jump into conclusions. you wanted to rip your hair out at her obliviousness. you could feel her breath on your face. her eyes glancing at your lips. the both of you wanted to let each other know about your feelings, your sweet intentions. but you were afraid that it'll be sour, bitter. that your emotions are still unripe.
"hazel... you don't understand—"
"make me."
with that, you closed the space that was in between you both, connecting your lips to her soft ones. it felt right. it wasn't sour. the kiss was gentle and sweet, much like a strawberry shortcake lip balm.
AAAAAA ive been writing this one for awhile i hope u liked it!! ;v;
#hazel callahan x reader#hazel callahan imagine#hazel callahan x you#hazel callahan fluff#hazel bottoms#hazel callahan#bottoms (2023)
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An allergeez & @thekinkyleopard Fic Masterlist
A list of all fics, most written by @thekinkyleopard , about any of our OC's! fics include both snz, and vanilla, and will be separated by OC, and snz/non-snz! If a fic includes more than one character, itll be included multiple times <3
After Canon, its not in chronological order!
If you're new here, or just need a refresher, our OC Masterlist is
Here
Remi x Levi Canon (no snz)
A Shifter's Tale P1
A Shifter's Tale P2
A Shifter's Tale P3
A Shifter's Tale P4
A Shifter's Tale P5
A Shifter's Tale P6
A Shifter's Tale P7
A Shifter's Tale P8
Reunion (lemon)
A Shifter's Tale P9
After Lunch (lemon)
more to come..
New Guy (no snz)
New Guy P1
New Guy P2
New Guy P3
New Guy P4
New Guy P5
Hot For Teacher (no snz except P5 & P6)
HFT P1
HFT P2
HFT P3
HFT P4
HFT P5 (Remi snz)
HFT P6 (Levi snz)
Remi x Levi (snzfic)
Writing Prompt (Remi Snz)
I'm Not (Remi Snz)
The Festival (How 'Bout Them Apples?) (Remi snz)
A Late Night Tickle (Levi snz)
What's Up There? (Levi snz)
Bless You (Levi snz)
Camping Anyone? (All OC snz, except Alistar)
The Lil Engine Who Blew (Levi snz)
Insatiable (Remi snz)
Souvenir (Levi snz)
29: Another Year Sicker P1 (Remi snz)
29: Another Year Sicker P2 (Remi snz)
Just A Lil Bit? (Levi snz)
I’ll Make You A Deal… (Remi snz)
I Said.. (Levi snz)
The Gathering (Alistar, Remi, Biziil, Meeko, Kriia, & Rexar snz)
Don’t Mention It… (Remi & Reader snz)
Day Of The.. Oh No! (Levi snz)
A Blooming Bromance (Remi & Rexar snz)
A Late Night Tickle Part 2 (Remi snz)
You’ve Cat To Be Kitten Me Right Meow… (Remi snz)
How The Wolf Snuffed Christmas (Remi snz)
You’re Safe Here (Remi snz)
RemixLevi (no snz)
Mr. Steal Yo
Draeko (snz)
Why Me? (Draeko snz)
Camping, Anyone? (All OC snz, except Alistar)
No Promises (Draeko snz)
The Happy Ending (Alistar snz)
Revenge Turned Spicy (Draeko & Kanai snz)
A Midnight Snack (Al snz)
The Final Cold (Draeko, Alistar, and Kanai snz)
Insane Clown Sneezing (Draeko snz)
Draeko (no snz)
Let Me Do It
Hybrid Heartbreak
Alistar (snz)
Why Me? (Draeko snz)
Camping, Anyone? (all OC snz, except Alistar)
No Promises (Draeko snz)
The Gathering (Alistar, Remi, Biziil, Meeko, Kriia, & Rexar snz)
The Happy Ending (Alistar snz)
Revenge Turned Spicy (Draeko & Kanai snz)
A Midnight Snack (Al snz)
The Final Cold (Draeko, Alistar, and Kanai snz)
Insane Clown Sneezing (Draeko snz)
Alistar (no snz)
Meet Me In VIP (Reader POV) (gender neutral reader)
Practice Makes Perf
Let Me Do It
Hybrid Heartbreak
Kanai (snz)
Why Me? (Draeko snz)
Camping, Anyone? (All OC snz, except Alistar)
The Gathering (Alistar, Remi, Biziil, Meeko, Kriia, & Rexar snz)
The Happy Ending (Alistar snz)
Revenge Turned Spicy (Draeko & Kanai snz)
A Midnight Snack (Al snz)
The Final Cold (Draeko, Alistar, and Kanai snz)
Insane Clown Sneezing (Draeko snz)
Kanai (no snz)
Practice Makes Perf
Let Me Do It
Hybrid Heartbreak
Snzfire of Hostility series (Hellboys snz series, Draeko snz)
Part One
Part Two
Thrupple (Meeko, Connie & Biziil) (snz)
My Darlings (Meeko & Connie snz)
Souvenir (Levi snz)
Camping, Anyone? (All OC snz, except Alistar)
The Gathering (Alistar, Remi, Biziil, Meeko, Kriia, & Rexar snz)
Stay Like This (Meeko snz)
Kriia (snz)
A Blooming Bromance (Remi & Rexar snz)
Rexar (snz)
A Blooming Bromance (Remi & Rexar snz)
Sven (snz)
Move-In Day (Sven snz)
Hallowsneeze (Elex snz)
Elex (snz)
Move-In Day (Sven snz)
Hallowsneeze (Elex snz)
Tassian (snz)
Caught’cha! (Tassian snz)
Just This Once (Tassian snz)
Zilya (snz)
Caught’cha! (Tassian snz)
Just This Once (Tassian snz)
#snzblr#snz ocs#snz#snz fic#snzfic#snzfic masterlist#fic masterpost#fic masterlist#oc masterlist#oc masterpost#snzfucker#snz things#sneeze kink#snz fet#snz kink#snezblr#snz blog#remixlevi#alxkoxnai#under construction#fic list#fic library
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P.O.V. posts☠️
Ever see a picture of your fave and imagine what he'd be saying if he was right in front of you? Ever see a meme and think the same? Search no more, for this is the masterlist of all my Eustass Kid - and sometimes Killer - daydream posts. Enjoy the snacks. MOSTLY SPICY - MINORS DNI
He's a 10 but...
Foreplay
Degradation
Double Standards
P.O.V.
Love song
Phat Ass
He loves
Waiting on your knees
Teasing piercings
His treasure
Reunion
He is the perfect man
LDR with Kid
Dirty texting
Midnight Snack
Valentines Day 2023
Babygirl
Bro-mates
His pretty girl
Well mark me down as stoned and horny
SwampStew Memes 《using templates》
Mr. Steal Yo Girl
Oda why!?
Fake news
"Allies"
0 days without incident
Deadbeat dads
Treat yo self
Punk Boop
Chronic pain
Eustass Kid Support Group
Priorities
Canon PTSD
There are 2 Gordon Ramsays inside Killer
Art and Commissions
Big Kid & Little Luffy's Grand Adventure
Digital redraw
Pirate King of my Dreams cover
#eustass kid#eustasscaptainkid#swampstew#swampstew stories#one piece fanfiction#one piece#fanfic#swampstew.daydreams#eustass kid x you#eustass kid x reader#one piece kid#eustass captain kid#eustass kid x y/n#eustass kid headcanons#one piece meme
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Halloween|| Punz
Word count 2.8k Go to my amazing best friends page @prettytoxicrevolver to see the other POV and give them a follow they deserve so many more <3
Summary- Halloween with your boyfriend Punz
You and your best friend were putting the finishing touches on your matching Kim possible costumes in preparations for Dreams massive Halloween party with your guys insane group of friends.
You quickly yell to Y/BF/N
“I’m nearly done are you?!”
She yells back
“Yea give me like five!”
You shake your head
“They’ll be here any minute so you have like one!”
She yells back
“Well they can just wait the extra four or screw off!”
You laugh softly but your eyes widen hearing a knock at the door followed by it opening and the boys letting themselves in!
Foolish plops onto the couch already expecting a bit of a wait as Y/BF/N is always just a little late when it comes to Halloween costumes cause she’s a bit of a perfectionist
Punz however just walks into your room seeing you sat on your phone having finished a few minutes ago
You smile meeting him halfway wrapping your arms around him
“Hello mr stoppable”
His smile widens as he places his hands on your waist as he pushes your faces together lightly touching your noses
“Hello miss possible”
He smirks softly as he gives your tummy a quick scribble making you squeak and giggle jumping back
“EEK! Puhuhunnzzz!”
He laughs
“Sorry sorry I had to I mean when else am I gonna get unrestricted bare tummy access”
You roll your eyes
“You get it literally anytime you want”
He now rolls his eyes
“Okay okay true but still there’s something different about you being in a crop top than me having to reach under your shirt you know?”
You laugh softly
“Okay true I’ll give you that but still just please don’t torture me too much”
He snickers knowing you’re being dramatic to cover your flusteredness
“Okay no promises but I’ll try.. Do you think Y/BF/N and Foolish are ready yet?”
You shrug
“Depends on if they started a make out sesh and she had to fix her make up or not”
He groans softly
“I hope not I wanna get going I wanna show off our cool matching couples costumes”
You sigh softly as you grab his hand dragging him out and to your best friends room waiting outside the door
“YO YOU TWO READY OR ARE YOU STILL MAKING OUT BECAUSE IF WE DON’T GET THERE SOON I’M PRETTY SURE ALL THE BEST SNACKS WILL BE GONE!”
You hear shuffling and something fall followed by a brief yelp from foolish as the door opens and you see your best friend with a slightly disheveleddishelved wig and her black lipstick slightly smudged
“We’re good let’s go”
You point to her hair and lips
“Make sure you got your lip stick, a brush, a mirror and make up wipe on your purse you can fix it in the car”
Her eyes widen as she quickly grabs those items and soon enough you’re all out the door and in Punz’s car
You sit in the passenger seat as Punz drives Foolish and Y/BF/N in the back Y/BF/N quickly working to fix her make up as Foolish tells her he thinks it was funnier when it was messier
You’re in charge of the aux deciding to of course start with the Kim possible theme song Punz smiles widely stealing glances at you as you’re singing your heart out
After that you randomly pop on some 5SOS going with Babylon seeing as it’s your best friends favorite of hers
Her eyes widen and she lets out a yell of excitement as the two of you start belting the lyrics
After that it’s a mirade of 5SOS, WDW and a few picks from Punz and Foolish per request
Soon enough though you’ve made it to the party
You all pile out and head to gate easily opening it and heading to the door, Punz knocks and a few moments later Sapnap opens the door greeting you all playfully making banter
“Wow those are your ground breaking matching couples costumes”
As you’re about to make a sassy reply slyvee and hannah scream in excitement both because of the costumes and because of seeing you and Y/BF/N after not seeing you guys for a while
Punz smirks
“You were saying?”
Sapnap rolls his eyes as Punz and Foolish step in and he closes the door behind them
You and Y/BF/N are still excitedly talking to Hannah and Sylvee when Punz sneaks behind you wrapping his hands around your waist stopping them to rest on your stomach lightly and slowly opening and closing his hand his dull finger nails running along it
You jump slightly and lean your head on his shoulder tilting your head to look at him as you giggle your cheeks tinted red
“Hihihi hohonneheyy”
He smiles and stops after a second more rubbing the left over tingles away
“Hi baby, do you wanna go get some snacks or hang here for a bit I can always grab extra to make sure you get something”
Your giggles slow to a stop and you smile wider giving him a quick peck on the cheek
“Would you? Please? I’ll meet up with you super soon we just wanna chat a little more and take a few pictures!”
He smiles blushing softly
“Of course, take your time you don’t get to see them often but you see me basically anytime you want”
You coo softly as you turn and give him a proper kiss on the lips
“I love you thank you”
He smiles into the kiss
“I love you too have fun”
And so with that you and Y/BF/N and sylvee and Hannah chat and walk about chatting to other friends at random as you find the best spots to take pictures
A few minutes after that you all head to the living room you separate from Y/BF/N, Hannah and sylvee for a bit as you notice Boomer!
You excitedly run to him having not even known he was coming
“What the frick?!? Boomer?!?”
Boomer chuckles softly the plan having worked
“Y/N! Hey!”
Your jaw is dropped as you quickly wrap your arms around the slightly taller man
“What the heck how could you not tell me you were coming?!?”
You hear Punz coming behind you laughing as you release from Boomer he’s now also laughing and him and Punz hi five
You scoff
“What the heck you two planned this?!?”
They each nod and Boomer quickly points to Punz throwing his hands up in surrender after
“It was his idea!”
Punz now scoffs at Boomer throwing him under the bus
“Look I just really wanted to surprise you okay is that such a bad thing?”
You sigh a smile making its way to face as you grab his hand pulling him to you and wrapping your arms around his neck his hands finding home at your waist
“No it’s really not but still don’t think I’m not gonna get you for your little plan”
You smirk softly one of your hands drifting down to his ribs gently scribbling as a warning making him jump and hold back a giggle
“Do you really wanna play that game darling?”
He quickly scribbles on your exposed sides causing you to jump and giggle moving away
“Puhunzz! Noho not with so many people around!”
He smirks snickering softly
“Afraid they’ll catch on and tickle you their ownsleves?”
Boomer steps forward chuckling softly from where he had stood to the side watching with a wide happy smile as he lightly pokes at your exposed stomach
“Oh yea I didn’t even realize this costume totally has them exposing two of their most insanely ticklish spots!”
You squeak slapping his hand softly as you protectively cover your stomach
“S-shut up I only did it to be costume accurate!”
Punz and Boomer share a knowing look
“Alright yea whatever you say big dawg”
Punz suddenly remembers your snacks
“Oh yea here’s your snacks”
You smile softly gratefully taking the plate
“Thank you honey”
He nods
“Of course”
Boomer fake pukes rolling his eyes
“Well as fun as it’s been sitting here getting nauseous watching you two love birds I’m gonna go say hey to some other peeps I’ll catch you before I head back to the hotel we gotta hang again before I head back home”
You nod
“Of course of course see you later boomie!”
You and Punz slowly make your way around to your various friends trying to really catch up with everyone you rarely get to see. Your smile grows super wide as you spot Karl you start to make your way too him but you’re cut off as Karl yells excitedly practically running into Punz’s arms.
“PUNZ!”
“KARL!”
Punz catches Karl barely stumbling backwards, and you shake your head softly rolling your eyes fondly.
“What am I chopped liver?”
Karl and Punz giggle.
“Sorry I just got so overwhelmed by his handsomeness I couldn’t contain myself.”
“Yea baby he can’t help it he’s so charmed by me!”
You roll your eyes again walking over to the two shaking your head as you playfully say.
“What am I not charming enough for a jumping hug?”
Karl rolls his eyes giggling softly.
“Oh you’re so dramatic, calm down silly of course you’re worth a jumping hug in fact you’re worth a million”
You giggle and back up a little, quickly running and jumping into Karl’s arms.
He catches you stumbling slightly as your legs wrap around him.
“Hohohllyy gehehzzehehe cutie you good now?”
You laugh nodding softly and slowly climbing off him.
“Yea I’m good got my fill for now.”
Karl smiles nodding as well.
“Good good, I’m in Florida like another three days we’ll have to all meet up again before I head home.”
Punz nods wrapping his arm softly around your waist.
“For sure for sure maybe we can hit up Disney or something.”
You smile brightly it having been a good few months since you had been to Disney.
“Yea that would be great maybe we can gather a little group together.”
Karl smiles bouncing on his heels excitedly!
“Yea that’s great! I’d love that I’ll go talk to some of the others and then I’ll text you guys later with the details or make a little group chat.”
Punz smiles nodding excitedly!
“Yea for sure man just let us know whenever!”
Karl nods beginning to walk off.
“I will I will I’ll catch you guys later!”
You nod.
“See ya later Karl!”
Punz nods again.
“Catch ya later!”
With that you and Punz decide to go head to the couch it’s surprisingly empty, you cuddle up against Punz his arms easily slipping around you hands resting on your stomach.
You smile up at him.
“This party is great I love seeing all our friends but you know a quick little moment like this with you is exactly what I was needing to recharge.”
He presses a kiss to the top of your head smiling.
“You know I was thinking the same thing but there’s one thing missing.”
You tilt your head softly
“What’s that baby?”
He snickers softly.
“Your laughter.”
He smiles wider as he quickly skitters his fingers all across your exposed stomach and sides!
You squeal squirming in his hold thankful for once for the blaring music as it hopefully covered your laughter.
“EEP PUHUNNZZ NOHO YOOUUU SHAHAIHIDDD YOOUUU WOOULLDDNNTT!”
He laughed softly.
“Whahahatt I said I wouldn’t around everyone and to be fair I really haven’t besides when I first left you with Y/BF/N, Sylvee, Hannah and a little around boomer and now we’re over here everyone else is there and no one’s even watching.”
You whine through your laughter knowing he was right.
“IHIHI WIHILLL SOHO GEEHETT YOUU BAHACCKK!”
He blushes softly rolling his eyes a bit.
“Yea yea I’ll be waiting patiently for that..”
He stops after a few more seconds.
You slow to residual giggles sitting up and just staring at him so entranced by him this happened often you would just zone out looking at him wondering how you ever got him.
He waved a hand in front of your face.
“Yo y/n you there don’t make me raspberry you..”
You quickly snap out of it cover your mid section protectively.
“No!”
You yelp giggling as you lightly slap him.
Suddenly there’s a weight joining you guys on the couch you look over and see Y/BF/N and Foolish.
They each roll their eyes playfully at you guys.
“Ugh how gross get a room.”
Your best friend jokingly says and Foolish nods.
“Yea nobody wants to see you all coupley that’s so gross.”
You roll your eyes,
“Oh please as if you guys aren’t just as bad.”
Punz snickers.
“Yea as if we didn’t have to wait for you guys to fix your makeup after your make out sesh.”
Foolish scoffs softly.
“At least we did it in a room.”
You laugh softly.
“Technically we are in a room.”
Your best friend holds back a smile.
“A private room of our own not a party room full of people.”
Punz rolls his eyes softly.
“So is this your way of telling us you wanna get out of here.”
Foolish shrugs softly.
“No we weren’t really saying that but if you guys wanna dip I don’t mind.”
Your best friend nods.
“Yea I don’t really care I’m down for whatever”
You and Punz look at each other and shrug.
“I’m sure most everyone will still be in town a few days or so, so we can meet up with them again soon so I’m down to leave if you are.”
He nods.
“Yea sure that’s fine with me”
So the four of you leave the couch slowly saying your goodbyes to everyone you can manage to catch making mentions of meeting up before they leave.
So with that you’re out to the car same positions as you came but this time Foolish and Punz more in charge of the music!
It’s a wild variety of things and on the ride you all discuss what to do next whether to just all go to your own places or to all stay at one place.
After a bit it’s decided you’re going to drive to Punz and Foolish’s place you and Punz will hang there for the night and Foolish will drive him and Y/BF/N back to your guys place and they will stay there for the night.
So soon enough you’ve all made it, you and Punz wave goodbye to Y/BF/N and Foolish as they drive off and quickly head inside giggling happily as you each rush to his room, having your mini race to see who could get there first as always.
Punz is much faster so 9/10 he wins so it’s not surprise when he wins this time.
He plops onto the bed and you groan playfully as he cheers excitedly.
“Woo!! I won!!! And as almost always I want the standard prize”
He opens his arms.
You blush brightly giggles bubbling your throat as you crawl into his open arms covering your face.
“Eee Punzhieheh!”
He laughs softly moving your hands from your face.
“You know the rules we always have to keep our faces uncovered especially yours since it’s so beautiful”
You shake your head giggling.
“Thahatss thehe duhumbbehst ruhulehe”
He laughs softly.
“Oh come on you’re the one that came up with the rule”
“Yehehahha ihihi cahahmehe uhupp wihitthh ihitt fohorr yoouuu!”
He rolls his eyes fondly as he begins gently scratching your stomach.
“Yea and I said I would only agree to it if the same rule could apply to you!”
You squeak your giggles increasing as your squirm softly.
“EEK! OhoHOKAHAyyy trrruuhuehehe buhuttt ihihi stihilll thihinnkkkkk ihittss uhuhnnfhahaihirrr!”
He smiles as he starts squeezing your sides.
“You always say everything is unfair when I’m tickling to you pieces!”
You squeal bursting into laughter!
“EEP! SHIHIZ PUHUNNZZ NAHAHA DOHONTT!”
He smirks softly at you.
“Oh don’t what? Don’t squeeze you’re incredibly sensitive bare sides? Hmm let’s see, say I’m the absolute best boyfriend in the world and you’re favorite tickler to ever tickle you and then I’ll stop!”
Your eyes widen and your cheeks immediately brighten as you shake your head.
“NAHAHHA YOOUUU KNOHOHOWWW IHIHI CAHAHAHANNNTTT SHAHHAYYY THEHEHE WOHOHORRDDD!”
He snickers nodding softly.
“I know you can’t which is exactly why I asked you to say it just to fluster you, I guess since you really really can’t say it then I’ll accept you just saying ler.”
You nod grateful for his caringness.
“OHOKKAHHAYYY FIHIHINEHHE YOOUUURRHEHEHE THEHEHE BEHHESSTTT BOHOHYYYFFRRIHIEHENNDDD IHHINN THEHE WOHOHRRLLDD AHAHNDD BEHEHSSTTT LEHEHRRR TOOO EHEHVVEHEHERRR TWOHOHRRDD MEHEHE!”
He smiles and slows to a stop softly kissing your nose.
“That’s what I thought, now come on let’s shower and change into some pj’s okay?”
You giggle residually and nod in agreement.
“Ahahllrrrihihigghtttt.”
And so it was a perfect end to a perfect Halloween.
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Bunny!Reader + Mr. Compress Headcanons
Request: hello there bunny! i've seen you've done rabbit quirk hcs for dabi and shiga in the past and i was wondering if you could do the same for mr compress? like a new member of the league having a rabbit quirk and all that mr compress is thinking about the first time he sees them is "bunny assistant" , and it doesn't help that he's getting a little enamored with them, always staying behind to watch their fluffy ears do a little bounce when they walk and the cottontail that he notices it wiggles when they get nervous so he knows when it's the time to cheer them up with a magic trick ~ just something cute about how he'd go about making them fall for him <3
A/N: bunny time bunny time bunny time bun-
When you’re first introduced to the team, Atsuhiro is hardly subtle about his interest in you. He may not have a romantic interest- he does find you cute, however- but he also thinks your quirk works rather well with him. Or rather, it compliments his showmanship personality. You’re plenty strong on your own- your quirk allowing you to have more than the physical attributes of rabbits, but also having some of the more useful tendencies such as a near 360 degree vision and having rather powerful nails and teeth. He’s quick to take your hand and show you around- just a way to make him seem more friendly than the others. He wants your trust- he knows how far that can go in this type of work.
It’s not uncommon for the two of you to go on missions together- or at least be in the same team. It’s easy to tell that he relies on you for the more physical fights seeing as he rather show off and leave the scene as quick as he can. Once the news outlets start to capture the two of you together, it hits a certain chord in him. You’re pictured beside him, your ears tense and face hidden behind a mask and in bold letters, you’re given the title of “assistant”. It leaves a sour taste in his mouth. He wanted you to be his assistant- you fit well with the aesthetic even if he wasn’t dressed as a typical magician. But you aren’t just his assistant- you’re his partner in crime. You’re more than a simple assistant, you’re not the rabbit pulled out his hat- or marble in most cases- you’re the one who protects him when it calls for it, you’re the one who plays along with his idea of having you be his rabbit. Even when he throws away the paper, he can’t escape the fluttering feeling in his stomach at how he’s glad that the outside world realized how well you two fit together. He ends up pulling the crumpled piece of paper out of the bin and straightening out the image of you two.
Slowly, he starts to spend time with you outside of missions. You’ve always been close during missions since you had to be, but now, he seeks you out, asking if you’d like to practice a certain move that he or you might have stumbled on or even just sitting beside you and watching whatever is on the television. He grows to learn more about you- prying further until it’s late in the night and the board game between the two of you has been forgotten, his laughter infectious as he tells you a story of his past. He’s not exactly sure how you two have gotten so close- why he wants to be near you, or why he catches himself staring at you from time to time, or even why he’s suddenly so interested in you as more than just a partner.
Once you two start to do missions more out of wanting to, rather than necessary, he tries to take on a more protective role. He keeps you beside him- or at least in arm’s reach- and if you happen to move away from him, he rushes towards your side. There are a few places where he’s able to move around without having to worry about heroes or other authorities being called, and there is where he likes to take you. He likes to wander with you, letting you pick out whatever you want- sometimes even stealing if you don’t have enough- and will surprise you with it later. He’s sure that you know what he’s doing with the smile you give him, but you always hug him tight in your arms, and he isn’t going to complain about that.
He’ll realize with a moment of clarity, a small “oh” escaping his lips in a single breath, that he’s begun to see you as more than just a partner, but rather as something romantic. He found you attractive when you first arrived, that’s no lie, but he hadn’t thought of something romantic. Truth be told, he never expected something romantic once he became a criminal, he expected himself to be surrounded with those he considered close but never someone he considered a romantic partner. Because of these new feelings that have surfaced, he’s become a bit more. He’s seeking you out, wanting to spend more time with you than previously, even going as far as to insert himself in a conversation that didn’t include him.
Due to spending a large amount of time with you, he’s gotten to know you and your little quirks. He can tell when you’re starting to get nervous- the way your ears tense and how you always seem to hide your hands behind your back. He doesn’t understand why, until he happens to be standing behind you and he swears that he wasn’t trying to stare at your tail, but his eyes had landed there. It was easy to figure out from there that your tail twitches, while your ears stand firm. He tries to find a pattern as to why you suddenly grow so nervous around him or other members of the league and will eventually give up. He can’t prevent it, but he can help you relax afterwards. He’ll grab your hand and lead you to his room, and he offers to show you a magic trick- something simple and silly. He’s found that you lean when interested, your eyes wide and mouth slightly parted as he moves his hands, the object disappearing and reappearing behind your ear. You could call his laughter infectious, but yours is sweet, something akin to a melody that he doesn’t tire of hearing.
The hopeful part of him, maybe even the romantic part of him, likes to think that he’s the only one who’s gotten to know you. Your excitement is something that he can easily tell, the fidgeting that differs from you being nervous, the way you bounce on your heels and twitch your ears, as if adventure really is calling out to you. He once caught you doing a little dance in your room, your smile wide as you hopped in a circle and jumped up- pure energy that leaked out of you and infected your nature. You were so happy; and he wanted to see more of that. He isn’t proud to admit it, but he does lie to you. He’ll tell you that he needs a bit of help in order to do something, to pull off another trick or to practice a sleight of hands, and he’ll fail, miserably and falsely, but he just wants to spend time with you. Late into the night, as you both take deep breaths with sweat thin against your brow, you’ll lean towards him, the fluff of your ears brushing against his bare skin. He’s never felt something so soft, something that had a shiver run down his back and make his ears feel as if they are aflame.
As the friendship deepens between the two of you, the more personal you both become. He holds your hand more often, his gloved hand covering yours. While you have your fair moments of leaning towards him, he’s the one who’s more touch starved- he leans into you, his bicep pressed against yours and head tilted towards you as if you were the sun and he were nothing more than a flower crawling to be in your light. Past the more touch part of the relationship, he also gives you nicknames. He comes to you, a boyish smile on his face and hands holding one of yours, as he wonders if calling you “Cotton” would be a bit too much. More and more, “Cotton” switches to “Binky” to tease at your little jumps. Calling you “Binky” results in his arm getting playfully slapped, your eyes rolling as you threaten to eat his portion of food if he doesn’t be quiet.
In an attempt to make his feelings more apparent- and to stop the teasing from the other members- he becomes more and more present in your life. He wants you to see him more than just a partner-in-crime and an actual partner-in-crime. He brings you your favorite snacks, buying things that he knows you would like, and will often just show up unexpectedly at your door with a pocket full of marbles holding all things that you and him like. It’s tastical ploy on his end- showing up late and sharing snacks, having you grow tired and him playing the overdramatic close friend, leading him to spend the night in your bed. You two stuck strictly to your own sides, only for the nights to continue and the blanket to be stolen, for you to curl up to him, your ears twitch in your sleep and tickle at his nose. He does more and more for you, wanting to be close to you and letting you wear a mask of his when one of yours breaks. Later, he gifts you a mask- hand painted and made for you.
Waiting for you to get the hint is rather painful for the showman. While people may not have flaunted themselves towards him, they certainly did find him attractive and would at least show some romantic interest. Atsuhiro isn’t the impatient type, he can wait and play the long game, but he’s gotten so nervous around you. He racks his brain for the best way to confess to you- ditching flowers since he feels it might be a bit too ironic given his motif and yours. At the end of it, he stands before you, his hands held behind his back, as he confesses his feelings to you. He likes you- a lot. It stems further than just a simple crush, and into something more intense that leaves him aching for more, to want to spend more time with you. He stops midway, his words faltering to a whisper, as he frowns, realizing that perhaps he might have said too much. He starts to retract his words, wanting to dial it back, but the words have already been said and he only stares at you, his heart echoing in his ears and when you step close to him, he’s ready for rejection. When he feels your arms wrapped around him, your ears and tail twitching, he can hear your confession, your words muffled as you hold him tight. His smile is wide as he returns the hug, lifting you up and squeezing you tight, until you laugh and push at his shoulders.
#bnha#bnha headcanons#bnha imagines#mr. compress x reader#mr compress imagines#mr compress bnha#mr compress headcanons#mr compress x reader#mr compress#sako atsuhiro headcanons#atsuhiro sako imagines#atsuhiro sako x reader#sako atsuhiro#atsuhiro sako#sako atsuhiro x reader#this is 1.7k#so sorry about that#i love him#and i want him back#i think he'd be a big romantic later on#but he would defs be like#bunny??#magic hat??#like that kronk meme#of#oh yeah#its all coming together#no joke thats what i had on my rough draft for this#hope you like it#bye
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New Year! Red and White Kakushigei Tournament! Event Translation Ch9-Epilogue
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! My bf got extra holiday during christmas and I ended up spending more time with him, thus the delayed translation. At least I can still make it before new year~
Anyway, I hope that everyone have a great holiday ahead! Here’s the final part of the new year event, enjoy~
New Year! Kakushigei Tournament Ch1-4 / / Ch5-8 / / Ch9-Epilogue
Disclaimer:
A3! is owned by Liber’s Entertainment
Azuma:
“It’s the season of pure white snow.
Everyone, as per tradition, let us make some snow bunny.”
Hisoka:
“Yeah. Let us offer our prayer, for the weather not to be too heavy.”
Juza:
“Surely, the snow bunny will deliver our thoughts and prayers to heaven.”
Chikage:
“Then, I’ll start gathering snow. Will you help me.”
Banri:
“Yeah, of course.”
Tsuzuru:
“I’m leaving it to you.”
Tenma:
“Let’s make them, so the snow bunny can run under this winter sky.”
<Short Time Skip>
Banri:
“Oi, why are you wandering around our little hut.
Are you here to steal our food.”
Tenma:
“What are you saying.
I’m just trying to shovel the snow on the road back home.”
Banri:
“So suspicious, don’t lie.”
Tenma:
“What the. You too, aren’t you planning something!”
Banri:
“What…! This guy!”
Tenma:
“Bastard…!”
Banri:
“Ugh!”
Tenma:
“Woah!?”
Banri:
“…!”
Chikage:
“What’s this noise about!”
Juza:
“…! The snow bunny’s statue…!”
Azuma:
“What a disaster. The snow statue that offers our prayer is destroyed…”
Tenma:
“It’s not my fault! This guy…!”
Banri:
“No shit, it’s him!”
Hisoka:
“Stop it, the two of you!”
Banri & Tenma:
“…”
<Short Time Skip>
Tsuzuru:
“This is bad, the snow never stops.”
Juza:
“If this continues, what should we do.”
Hisoka:
“It’s, it’s cold…”
Azuma:
“Soon, the crops will be affected too.
The village might not be able to survive…”
Banri:
“Ah, as I thought, the heaven is looking down on us.
I’m sorry for raising suspicion on you.”
Tenma:
“No, me too, I’m sorry.”
Banri:
“Let’s try to fix the snow bunny statue together.
From now on, to be considerate with each other. Let’s offer our oaths and prayers sincerely with a dance.”
Tenma:
“Yeah, let’s do that. Let’s put all our thoughts, and dance.
…”
Banri:
“…”
Azuma:
“Those feelings of yours, I’m sure it will be delivered to the snow bunny.”
Chikage:
“Us too, let’s dance to offer our prayers.”
Juza:
“Yeah. I hope for the snow to subside, for the crops to continue growing, and everyone in the village to prosper.”
Chikage:
“…”
Audience A:
Woah… So beautiful…!
Audience B:
It’s so dignified, it’s wonderful!
Audience C:
The atmosphere around them is so wonderful, I’m so fascinated.
<Short Time Skip>
Director:
Everyone, good work.
The performance and dance were great!
Hisoka:
Thank you.
Banri:
Well, this much is easy.
Tsuzuru:
Eh? Speaking of which, the snow stopped before we realized…
Azuma:
Maybe it’s the power of the dance.
Tenma:
Well, looks like it.
Muku:
Everyone looks so cool!
It’s so wonderful and fascinating.
Homare:
Yeah, what an artistic performance!
I’m overflowing with inspiration.
Guy:
The dance was very elegant. The thoughts and prayers were conveyed properly.
Chikage:
More than anything else, I’m glad that the audience seems to enjoy it.
Priest:
Everyone, thank you so much!
The performance and the dance were wonderful.
Juza:
Thanks.
Tenma:
I’m glad everything went smoothly.
<End of Chapter 9>
Omi:
Next will be the result announcement for the Kakushigei right.
Masumi:
Will the red team win, or is it going to be the white team…
Sakuya:
I’m feeling kinda nervous now.
Kazunari:
Settzer’s tablecloth trick and Chikchon’s miracle magic were wonderful, surely it’s the red team win right!
Banri:
It will be great if that’s the case.
Yuki:
The audiences are pretty excited too.
Priest:
Without further ado, I will announce the result of the Kakushigei tournament.
The winner is… White team!!
Kumon:
Alright---!!
Taichi:
Yeay! It’s the white team win--!!
Priest:
Both teams were wonderful, the voting results were close too, but among them, Citron-san’s belly dance from the white team is very popular.
Citron:
I did it! Everyone gets it~!
Itaru:
Seriously.
Misumi:
That’s too bad.
Chikage:
Well, I guess this kind of thing happens.
Omi:
Well, it’s true that Citron’s belly dance has the impact and it’s pretty interesting too.
Kazunari:
I’m a bit disappointed, but everyone did their best and I was able to see a lot of different performances!
Kumon:
Yup! It was so much fun~!
<Shifts to Bonfire>
Tasuku:
The festival’s going to end soon.
Director:
It’s going to be over before we know it.
Staff:
It’s amazake. Please take one.
Azami:
Hmm, are you giving out amazake.
Taichi:
It screams end of year, it’s great!
Staff:
Everyone, would you like one too? Please take it.
Director:
Woah, thank you so much.
Tsumugi:
It’s warm and delicious.
Sakyo:
Yeah, not bad.
Chikage:
… There you go, Banri. We got some amazake.
Banri:
Thanks.
It’s been a while since I drank amazake with Chikage-san like this.
Good work for the Kakushigei, the performance, and the dance.
Cheers.
Chikage:
Good work. Cheers.
…
Banri:
How does it taste?
Chikage:
Just drink it.
Banri:
… Ugh, it got ginger huh.
But well, it tastes a bit better than what I remember from my childhood.
That time, I could only think of it as disgusting.
Chikage:
Hmm, isn’t is just the thing about growing up.
Banri:
But as I thought, I prefer the sweet one.
… About my family too, I think I’ll show my face when they’re back from their trip.
Chikage:
That’s great.
Citron:
The two of you, what were you talking about!
Let’s go pull omikuji together!
Banri:
Don’t you pull omikuji at the beginning of the year?
Citron:
Pulling omikuji at the end of the year is also good!
Banri:
There goes the nonsensical stuff again.
Chikage:
Well, it seems that it’s actually fine to pull it at the end of the year.
Citron:
Come on, let’s go~!
Banri:
Fine fine.
Then, let’s go.
Chikage:
Yeah.
<End of Chapter 10>
Epilogue: The fate of the Victor
Citron:
Alright, it’s finally the long-awaited end of year party!
Let’s have fun and get excited today!
Taichi:
Yeay!
There’s also ‘that thing’ that we’ve been looking forward to!
Tenma:
Right.
Kumon:
It’s the highlight of today’s party!
I’m so excited~!
Omi:
Everyone, it’s ready~
It’s the white team’s request, ‘Sukiyaki’.
Muku:
Woah, what a great smell…!
Citron:
It’s the prize of winning the Kakushigei tournament, it’s the winning sukiyaki!
Yeay!
Tsuzuru:
We were deciding what’s good for the main dish for the end of year party, even though it became a draw between crab pot and sukiyaki…
The red group for crab pot and the white group for sukiyaki, it was decided through the Kakushigei tournament in the end.
Azami:
No one who watched the Kakushigei tournament would have thought that it was actually held for this reason.
Tsumugi:
Ahaha, you’re right.
Kazunari:
But the shrine was bustling with people, the audiences seem to have enjoyed themselves too, it’s great wasn’t it!
Director:
Yeah, Mr. Priest seems to be glad too.
Kumon:
Thanks to the gift cards from him, we were able to upgrade the meat for sukiyaki too!
Citron:
Then then, first of all…
Everyone, good work for the Kakushigei performance and the dance!
Congrats to the white team for winning! Cheers!!
Troupe Members:
Cheers!!
Sakuya:
Woah…! The sukiyaki is very delicious!
Juza:
Yeah, it’s great.
Taichi:
It feels different from the usual one! It’s the best!
Homare:
Everyone from white team, congratulations on winning.
Kazunari:
Sukiyaki is lit~!
Banri:
Well, I’m for the crab pot, but I don’t mind as long as I can eat delicious food.
Misumi:
Fuh… fuh…! It’s so delicious~!
Omi:
For Hisoka-san, I’ve prepared a main dish with broiled tofu and vegetables, I’ve put some mochi inside too.
Hisoka:
Thank you, Omi.
Tenma:
Ah, oi! I was about to eat that meat!
Citron:
No no, the faster hand got it
Tsuzuru:
Calm down, we still have a lot coming.
Itaru:
The sake that Azuma-san prepared has a nice fragrant, it suits sukiyaki pretty well.
Azuma:
Fufu, right? I was interested in it, I’m glad I got it in the end.
Sakyo:
This sake is delicious too.
Takato, you should try it as well.
Tasuku:
Thank you, I’ll try some.
Sakuya:
The Kakushigei tournament was so fun.
Guy:
Yeah. I’ve seen the others practicing sometimes, but seeing the real thing properly for the first time is different.
Masumi:
Director, did you enjoy my Kakushigei performance?
Director:
Yeah! Masumi-kun’s pretty good at ventriloquism.
Manager:
I got surprised by a lot of tricks too!
The venue was also an exciting one~!
Yuki:
The dance was fantastic too, it was beautiful.
Muku:
It’s so elegant, I was impressed!
Chikage:
I’m glad everyone enjoyed it.
Juza:
I also learned a lot from it.
Citron:
The tension’s up! By everyone’s request, I will do my belly dance encore~!
♪~♪~♪~
Kazunari:
As I thought, Ronron’s belly dance is the best~!
I also took a video!
Taichi:
Yo, white team’s general! Japan’s MVP~
Misumi:
I’ll dance together too~!
Tenma too, Kumon too, let’s dance~!
Tenma:
Me too!?
Kumon:
Ahaha!
<Short Time Skip>
Director:
Ah, is it time for the go-home group to leave?
Tasuku:
Yeah. Then, I’ll be going.
Omi:
Thank you for your care this year.
Looking forward to next year too.
Director:
Thank you too.
Looking forward to next year with everyone.
Tsuzuru:
Everyone, have a good new year ahead.
Sakuya:
Yeah, have a great new year!
Juza:
We’ll be going too.
Muku:
Yeah!
Kumon:
Ah, Banri! Since Big Brother won’t be here for a while, don’t just eat the snacks he has in his room okay!?
Banri:
There’s no way I’ll eat them!
Juza:
Don’t eat them.
Banri:
I told you there’s nooooooo way!
Itaru:
If you miss everyone, you can play the games I have in the room, senpai.
Chikage:
I will refrain from doing so.
Tsumugi:
Masumi-kun too, have a good new year.
Remember to keep warm.
Masumi:
Yeah.
Homare:
Then, see you next year.
Yuki:
We’re going off.
Kazunari:
We’re going off!
Director:
Have a safe trip!
<Shifts to Balcony>
Banri:
…
Chikage:
Banri.
Banri:
Oh, Chikage-san.
Chikage:
You’re reading the script for your new year performance huh.
Good work.
Here, I brought some new year soba.
Banri:
Thanks.
… Eh, this is a curry soba isn’t it?
Chikage:
It’s the director’s hope.
Banri:
Right, I remember she said something about arranging them.
It is indeed a very strange new year soba.
*phone vibrates*
Hmm?
It’s from Big Sister.
… Eh, she took the time to send pictures from Hawaii.
Look, there.
Chikage:
Hmm… Your Big Sister looks just like you.
Banri:
Geez, that’s so random.
Don’t just send me this kind of thing every time.
Chikage:
Well well. She might be worried about her lone Little Brother that she left in Japan.
Banri too, why don’t you try to send her a picture?
Banri:
I don’t have any picture…
Then, why don’t Chikage-san take a picture together with me?
Chikage:
Me?
Banri:
With that reasoning, she won’t be worried anymore if I take a picture with someone else right.
Misumi:
Ah! There you are~!
Sakuya:
Banri-kun, Chikage-san!
Banri:
Hmm?
Citron:
We will be starting the new year countdown soon.
Banri and Chikage too, let’s do it together!
Banri:
Ah, it’s already that timing huh.
Chikage:
… Anyway, it’s not only me who’s here, why not take a picture together with everyone?
Banri:
… You’re right, this kind of new year’s eve is rare.
Misumi:
The two of you, quick~!
Banri:
Then, should we go.
Chikage:
Right.
<End of Epilogue>
#a3! act! addict! actors!#a3! event#a3! translation#utsuki chikage#settsu banri#mikage hisoka#sumeragi tenma#hyodo juza#minagi tsuzuru#yukishiro azuma
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Super Smash Bros critical hit quotes
To contribute to the recent efforts to turn Smash Bros into Fire Emblem with Nintendo All Stars, I thought it would be cool/funny to add critical hit quotes to Smash Bros characters. Maybe they could say these whenever they used their final smashes (some of them already do lmao). Or, if we ever do get a tactics RPG with Nintendo characters which would be THE DREAM, Nintendo could use these. Some of these were really easy, others were really hard. I bet you can guess which ones.
Also, for characters who communicate with singular noises/grunts, I’ve added a translation of what they’re actually saying.
Mario:
“Lets-a go!”
“Mario time!”
“Mama Mia!”
“Wahoo!”
Donkey Kong:
“Banana slamma!”
“DK! Donkey Kong!”
“You’re an absolute zero!”
“Here I come!”
Link:
“My courage will prevail!”
“This is just between you and me.”
“…Now!”
“I’m dangerous, you know.”
Samus:
“For true peace!”
“You’ve done well.”
“Time to pay up!”
“Mission complete.”
Dark Samus:
“I will corrupt you.”
“The thrill of battle.”
“Touch me. I dare you.”
“Dead on arrival!”
Yoshi:
“Yoshi!” (Peace!)
“Hm hm, hup!” (I’m finished with you!)
“Yoshi yo?” (Fried or scrambled?)
“Yo yo yo!” (Don’t be such a baby!)
Kirby:
“Haiii!” (Hello!)
“Poyo poyo!” (Thanks for playing with me!)
“Uwaaah!” (Hey, that hurt!)
“Hiyaaa!”
Fox:
“Here I come!”
“Better luck next time.”
“It’s go time!”
“Mission complete.”
Pikachu:
“Pika pika!” (Bye bye!)
“Piii, pikachu?” (Oh, you want some more?)
“Chu, pika pi!” (I’m electrifying!)
“Pika pi pi!” (Sparks are flying!)
Luigi:
“Let’s-a go…”
“Go, green!”
“Bang, bang!”
“ACHOOO!”
Captain Falcon:
“Come on!”
“Show me your moves!”
“I’m number one!”
“Guess I’ll have to show off!”
Ness:
“Say fuzzy pickles!”
“Batter up!”
“You stink!”
“Does it hurt yet?”
Jigglypuff:
“Puff puff…” (I’m getting sleepy…)
“Jigglypuff jiggly jiggly!” (Time for a power ballad!)
“Jiggly, jigglypuff puff?” (Would you like an encore?)
“Jigglypuff puff jiggly!” (Sing with me now!)
Peach:
“Sweet!”
“This is fun!”
“Don’t hit me!”
“Want some cake?”
Daisy:
“Sweet!”
“I got it!”
“I’m the best!”
“Hi, I’m Daisy!”
Bowser:
“Bowser time!”
“I’m oughta rip your stuffing out!”
“Even scarier up close, huh?”
“Bwahahaha!”
Ice Climbers:
“Knock ‘em out!”
“Double trouble!”
“You’re wobbling!”
“Catch and release!”
Sheik:
“Time is cruel.”
“For my people!”
“Silence.”
“We will meet again.”
Zelda:
“Victory is a step away!”
“For my people!”
“I will not yield!”
“It would be wise to stand down.”
Dr. Mario:
“You are terminally ill.”
“The doctor will see you now.”
“I diagnose you with defeat!”
“Clear!”
Pichu:
“Pichu pi pi…” (This is exhausting…)
“Pichu pichu!” (My time to shine!)
“Chu, pichu pi!” (I’m electrifying!)
“Pi pichu chu!” (You’re such a baby!)
Falco:
“Had enough yet?”
“Gotta jet!”
“Quit moving around!”
“I’ll take you down with one shot!”
Marth:
“Eyes on me!”
“This is it!”
“Forgive me!”
“Shine, Falchion!”
Lucina:
“Time to change fate!”
“You will not stop me!”
“Hope will never die!”
“Our bonds give me strength!”
Young Link:
“My courage will prevail!”
“No hard feelings.”
“I’ll show you a terrible fate!”
“Hey, you! Listen up!”
Ganondorf:
“Pathetic little fool!”
“Your place is beneath me!”
“I am your demise!”
“Behold my power!”
Mewtwo:
“Do not defy me.”
“Pathetic.”
“You’re a fool.”
“Your thoughts betray you.”
Roy:
“I won’t lose!”
“By my blade!”
“For those I must protect!”
“My flame burns bright!”
Chrom:
“Anything can change!”
“Now I’m mad!”
“I will not fail!”
“Our bonds give me strength!”
Mr. Game & Watch:
“RING!” (NINE!)
“Beep beep bop beep.” (I am beyond your comprehension)
“Breep BOP!” (Now DIE!)
“Boop boop beep bop.” (The time has come!)
Meta Knight:
“Know my power!”
“Behold!”
“Come meet your doom!”
“You will not escape!”
Pit:
“You’re finished!”
“Bye now!”
“It’s game over for you!”
“Say your prayers!”
Dark Pit:
“Goodbye!”
“It’s time!”
“Game over.”
“Nothing personal.”
Zero Suit Samus:
“Be still.”
“You’re mine.”
“I object!”
“Stunning, isn’t it?”
Wario:
“I’m-a gonna win!”
“Stinker!”
“You smell that?”
“WAHAHAHA!”
Snake:
“It’s showtime.”
“War has changed.”
“I won’t shed tears for you.”
“Be quiet.”
Ike:
“Prepare yourself.”
“No holding back!”
“Amateur.”
“Out of my way!”
Pokémon Trainer:
“It’s super effective!”
“A critical hit!”
“Go get ‘em!”
“We’re a top percentage team!”
Diddy Kong:
“You’re outta here!”
“I’m one tough Kong!”
“Here’s my chance!”
“Hoo hah!”
Lucas:
“Don’t back down now…”
“I’m sorry!”
“You must be tired.”
“I can endure this!”
Sonic:
“Now I’ll show you!”
“I’ll always keep on running!”
“Do you know who I am?”
“You’re too slow!”
King Dedede:
“You ready to get clobbered?”
“I’ll kick you to the curb!”
“Bow before my majesty!”
“I am D-D-Devious!”
Olimar:
“You were a fine research specimen.”
“Courage, Olimar!”
“I must survive!”
“Carry, fight, multiply!”
Lucario:
“The aura is with me!”
“I can smell your fear!”
“You can’t hide from me!”
“That was your last mistake.”
R.O.B.:
“Now terminating.”
“Initiating critical attack.”
“ERROR: Life not found.”
“I am Robotic Obliterating Buddy.”
Toon Link:
“My courage will prevail!”
“You want a piece of me?”
“Let’s get dangerous!”
“Do you hear the wind blowing?”
Wolf:
“What’s the matter, scared?”
“Playtime’s over.”
“You’re good, but I’m better.”
“Can’t let you do that!”
Villager:
“Now, scram!”
“Time to get buried!”
“This is gonna hurt!”
“Who’s the mighty one now?”
Mega Man:
“Leave it to me!”
“I’ll make you pay!”
“This is for the greater good!”
“You must be stopped!”
Wii Fit Trainer:
“Feel the burn!”
“Let’s get fired up!”
“You’re off balance!”
“No pain, no gain!”
Rosalina:
“I’ll put you to sleep.”
“Children, avert your eyes!”
“Let us begin!”
“Away with you!”
Little Mac:
“Don’t underestimate me!”
“I’m gonna punch you out!”
“This one’s for the Bronx!”
“Dance like a fly, bite like a mosquito!”
Greninja:
“Gre nin.” (Silent takedown.)
“Ja, Greninja!” (Now, you must die!)
“Gre, ninja gre…” (Just as the flow of the ocean…)
“Gre JAJAJAJA!” (Hiyayayaya!)
Palutena:
“You shall be purified.”
“Time for some divine intervention!”
“I won’t hold back!”
“Say your prayers!”
Pac-Man:
“Get ready!”
“Let’s put a smile on that face!”
“Do you have a fevor?”
“Wakka wakka wakka wakka.”
Robin:
“Time to tip the scales!”
“Checkmate!”
“I have a plan!”
“Our bonds give me strength!”
Shulk:
“This is the Monado’s power!”
“I can change the future!”
“Looks like I don’t have a choice!”
“I’m really feeling it!”
Bowser Jr.:
“I won’t quit!”
“Are you watching, Dad?”
“You need some roughing up!”
“Hope you’re ready!”
Duck Hunt:
“Heheheheh~”
“Grrr…”
“AWOOOO!”
“Ruff, ruff!” (I’ll bite your ankles off!)
Ryu:
“I will finish this.”
“Now’s my chance!”
“Gotcha!”
“I’m not finished yet!”
Ken:
“You’re going down!”
“Get serious!”
“Gotcha!”
“Open your eyes!”
Cloud:
“No hard feelings.”
“Your luck’s run out.”
“I’m breaking my limits!”
“Not interested.”
Corrin:
“This ends here!”
“I make my own fate!”
“I won’t surrender!”
“Open the way, please!”
Bayonetta:
“Let’s dance, boys!”
“New ‘do, dead you!”
“You’ve been naughty!”
“Flock off!”
Inkling:
“Woomy!” (Booyah!)
“Ngyes!” (Aww yeah!)
“Wo squalimey!” (Come on, this way!)
“Say fwess!” (Stay fresh!)
Ridley:
“You’re about to die!”
“I make a big impression!”
“Start screaming.”
“You’ll make for a good snack.”
Simon:
“My path is clear!”
“On my honor as a Belmont!”
“I vanquish the darkness!”
“I offer only defeat.”
Richter:
“You don’t belong in this world!”
“Begone, monster!”
“I vanquish the darkness!”
“Farewell.”
King K. Rool:
“I’ve had enough of this!”
“Nothing can stop me!”
“You’re all doomed!”
“Any last requests?”
Isabelle:
“My apologies!”
“Now you’ve done it!”
“I’m gonna go Isaballistic on you!”
“Will that be all?”
Incineroar:
“Grahaha!”
“Cineroar!” (I’m gonna put on a show!)
“Incin!” (Oh, yeah!)
“Incineroar, cin?” (You want an autograph?)
Piranha Plant:
“Plant gang!”
“You see these pearly whites?”
“For Lord Bowser!”
“I’m about to head out.”
Joker:
“The show’s over.”
“You never saw it coming!”
“I’m going to ravage you!”
“Time to steal your heart!”
Hero:
“But I must!”
“Have you wet your knickers?”
“My turn!”
“Time to get critical!”
“HOES MAD”
Banjo and Kazooie:
Banjo: “I’m sorry!”
Banjo: “Out of the way, please!”
Kazooie: “You can shove it!”
Kazooie: “Get bent, nerd!”
Both: “We’re raring to go!”
Terry:
“Are you okay?”
“Hey, c’mon!”
“Bingo!”
“Take it easy!”
Byleth:
“Here is something to believe in!”
“Allow me to demonstrate!”
“Let this be a lesson!”
“No hesitation!”
Bonus:
Sans:
“You’re gonna have a bad time.”
“Get dunked on!”
“This’ll hurt a skele-ton!”
“Sorry about this, pal…”
Cuphead:
“You’re up!”
“Don’t mess with me!”
“Ready for a walloping?”
“Oh, it’s on!”
#super smash bros#smash bros#nintendo#mario#donkey kong#the legend of zelda#metroid#kirby#star fox#pokemon#earthbound#f-zero#fire emblem#kid icarus#metal gear solid#sonic the hedgehog#pikmin#animal crossing#mega man#punch out#xenoblade chronicles#street fighter#final fantasy#bayonetta#splatoon#castlevania#persona#dragon quest#banjo kazooie#fatal fury
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Stealing from Supervillains Ch 2
S3 Finale AU
In a timeline where Hawkmoth didn’t lose the Miracle Box almost immediately after getting it, Marinette has to get the Miraculous back some other way, even if that means stealing them back one at a time. Her first target is Chloe, Hawkmoth’s one known ally, and failure is not an option. When Hawkmoth brings the Miracle Box along with him- well, Marinette is determined to get all of the Miraculous back, even if she needs to burn down the entire hotel to do it.
Companion story to Luka and the Jewelry Heist
links in the reblog
It didn't take long for them to figure out what they were going to do.
All three of them would grab a Miraculous to use- Alix gravitated straight for the Rabbit, of course, Marinette stuck with the Bee and its yo-yo-like trompo, and after a bit of deliberation (and some apparent surprise that it was even in the Box, which...uh, Marinette wasn't going to look at that too closely at the moment), Adrien went for the Dragon because of its sword and his experience with fencing.
"Can I quick use the bathroom before we go?" Alix asked, raising her hand. "Since we're just going to use the Rabbit to go back in time and get set up in Mr. Agreste's office before he gets back anyway?"
"Go ahead," Marinette assured her. It wouldn't be a bad idea for her to do the same, actually, but mostly so that she could have a moment to talk to Tikki. It wasn't ideal that she was going to be going into the final battle with an unfamiliar Miraculous but, to be fair, if something went sideways she could always just add on her Ladybug transformation on top of the Bee. That would mean that her friends would know her identity, but, well.
She was the Guardian now, no one was going to be taking her Miraculous away. Besides, Hawkmoth's defeat was more important.
"Fantastic!" Flashing Marinette a grin, Alix darted out of the room, heading downstairs. Fluff floated eagerly after her, clearly excited to get to explore a bit.
A minute passed, and Marinette was starting to get jittery. She didn't like just sitting around and waiting and not getting something prepared. After a second, though, a light bulb went off in her head and Marinette stood up. "I'm going to go get some snacks for the kwamis. Alix is going to have to recharge Fluff after we jump back, and if anything drags on longer than we planned..."
"I'll come with!" Adrien volunteered, following Marinette towards her door. "It'll give me something to do, at any rate, beside just wondering what- what's going to happen to me once Father and Nathalie are in jail. Like, I have my aunt and cousin as family, of course, but they don't exactly live nearby and I don't know how much I would want to stay with them."
"We have a guest room," Marinette told Adrien as she pulled open the fridge. She knew that Fluff liked carrots and Pollen was a fan of honey in particular but anything sweet was good, and- well, the kwamis might prefer certain foods but they could eat anything, and so Marinette just had to get stuff that was easy enough to bring along. Outside, another fire truck zipped past. "And I know my parents would be willing to have you, too. They like you a lot."
A smile finally reappeared on Adrien's face. "I like them, too. I'd like that."
"All right, I'm back!" Alix announced, bounding back into the room. "Let's go kick some Hawkbutt-"
"You're doing what now?"
All three teens froze as Mrs. Cheng's voice rang through the room, and then Alix whipped around, wide eyes giving away the fact that she apparently hadn't noticed Marinette's mom following her back to the living room. Pollen and Longg vanished behind Adrien and Marinette, and Fluff followed suit a little too late. Mrs. Cheng's eyes followed the white blur, and then narrowed. "What was that? And why am I smelling smoke? And- oh good, Adrien, you're all right, thank goodness."
Marinette and Adrien exchanged a look, and Marinette could feel her heart racing. Her mom wouldn't want them going after Hawkmoth and would call it too dangerous- which, okay, maybe it was a bit dangerous, but they could do it just fine- but they couldn't not go, now that they knew. It would be more dangerous for Adrien to have to go back to his father's house when he had the information that he did. If he got upset by the betrayal again and his father decided to akumatize him...
That would be super dangerous. If Hawkmoth could get any information from an akumatized Adrien, Marinette and her parents- and the Miracle Box- would be at risk.
No, they couldn't do that. Surely, if they told her parents- and there was going to be no lying to get out of this one, her mom was definitely on their tracks- they could understand that, and let the three of them go.
Maybe. Possibly. And that comment about Adrien being all right- well, maybe that meant that they had been allowed and their attack was attracting a bit of attention. There was no other reason why her mom would say that, right?
"We found out that my father is Hawkmoth," Adrien blurted, apparently having come to a similar conclusion. "And we, uh, were going to go confront him."
"With superpowers!" Alix added quickly, pulling Fluff out. "Not, like, as regular people, that would be crazy. And we're going back in time to ambush him before he expects it, and- oh, Marinette already took Mayura down, so it would be three against one. In theory. Unless she's stayed an akuma and somehow un-froze."
Mrs. Cheng had gone pale, managing to make it over to the kitchen table before sinking into a chair. "Your father- Hawkmoth- Marinette did what?"
Alix cringed and mouthed 'sorry' at Marinette.
"Did I hear something about Marinette taking Mayura down?" Mr. Dupain cut in eagerly, appearing around the doorframe, and Marinette narrowly restrained herself from facepalming. Of course her dad would be super-excited about that. "Or did my ears deceive me?"
"And Mr. Agreste is Hawkmoth," Mrs. Cheng said weakly. "And these three want to go attack him."
"Well, they have the Peacock now, don't they?" Mr. Dupain asked, ignoring the look that his wife shot him. "So they have a Miraculous to use-"
A small smile slid onto Adrien's face. "Marinette stole the Bee from Chloe and an entire box of other Miraculous from Hawkmoth, too, so we have a bunch of Miraculous to choose from."
Her parents' gazes immediately shot to Marinette, a combination of horror and glee. Mr. Dupain reacted first.
"Can I come along, too?"
"Tom!"
"Darling, think about it!" Mr. Dupain implored. "If there's more of us, then there's a better chance that we can overpower Hawkmoth safely. And if he's without his backup, then the chances of us succeeding..." He paused, then continued. "And think of how much safer Adrien and Paris will be without Hawkmoth out and about."
Mrs. Cheng wavered. "But Tom, they're kids."
"And you've commented before on how young Ladybug and Chat Noir look," Mr. Dupain reminded her. Mrs. Cheng finally sighed.
"Okay. I'll permit it if we can use a Miraculous as well."
"Marinette, your parents are so cool," Alix said, a wide grin spreading across her face. "C'mon, we can explain the Miraculous we have to you and you can decide what powers you want to have. We could definitely use someone on defense." She paused. "And, uh, is it just me, or am I hearing a lot of sirens nearby?"
It didn't take long for them to get Marinette's parents set up with Miraculous. Her dad went for the Turtle- "A shield is always a good thing!"- and her mom for the Snake, just in case.
"Having a redo button puts my mind at ease," she told them as they gathered in the middle of Marinette's room, all transformed and ready. Bunnyx was double-checking times so they would arrive while Mr. Agreste and Nathalie were out. "I won't be trigger-happy Marinette, I promise, but if I see any blood..."
Bumblebee nodded. That made her more relaxed, too, since so much of her team was made up of rookies.
With one last check to make sure that everyone knew what their powers were, Bunnyx whisked them into the past. As quietly as possible (and with a little bit of a struggle to get the transformed Mr. Dupain and his shield through Marinette's skylight), they took off through the sky, heading over to the Agreste mansion. They landed on the roof, glancing around for a way in. Mushu spotted an opening first.
"There's a hole in the roof," Mushu announced, waving them over. He peered inside before dropping in. His voice echoed up from inside. "And it's full of butterflies, and-" His voice turned disgusted. "Oh, of course he has spooky mood lighting. Of course he does."
Bunnyx snorted. "Adrien, couldn't you have looked inside before jumping in? Just because Cobra has resets doesn't mean that you can stop thinking before you leap."
"I told you, it's Mushu!"
"And I already told you, you have to think up a name that isn't just a rip-off from a Disney film or I'm just going to call you by your normal name!"
"Kids, let's please just get in before someone spots us," Cobra said with a sigh. Bunnyx sighed back as she hopped down into the lair.
"Okay, wanting to be inspired by famous dragons I get! But why go for Mushu when you have Smaug as a possibility?"
"The color scheme doesn't work!"
"Oh my god, you're such a dweeb. Bumblebee, tell Adrien he's being a dweeb."
Bumblebee couldn't hide her giggle. "I think it's cute- I mean! The name, and the connection, and, uh, the costume is also nice but- um." She cut herself off before she could start flailing too much. They needed to focus. She might not have her spots right now, but she needed to be in superhero mode. She took a deep breath, then continued. "Okay, so when Hawkmoth returns, he'll be coming in from that window, presumably. He'll have Nathalie- and she's been akumatized, but if he comes back fast enough then in theory Sting won't have worn off yet on her, so she'll be more of a hindrance than a help."
"Right," Mushu said right away. "And he'll probably drop in like-" He hopped up on the wall, demonstrating. "So if we stand by the wall here, then Hawkmoth won't be able to see us and he won't have any heads-up about our ambush."
"I feel like I should be concerned about how prepared you two are for this," Cobra said with a sigh, but followed Mushu's instruction. "Just was are they teaching you kids in school these days?"
Bunnyx grinned, even as she found a corner to hide in. "Battle strategy is all the rage in Paris classrooms right now, don'cha know?"
They fell into silence, all waiting anxiously for Hawkmoth's return. Bumblebee flipped open her top, pulling up a live news feed. There would no doubt be a little delay between when the fire started and the news broke out, but there should be something fast enough that they would get a bit of a heads-up-
"Bumblebee, I can see your past selves on my Paris map," Mushu piped up, coming over to stand next to her. "Can you tell by the way they're moving when Hawkmoth would be leaving the hotel?"
"If Bumblebee and Bumblebun are showing up at all, he'll be leaving soon," Bumblebee said at once. "All of that went pretty quickly. I mean, from transformation to grabbing the box to leaving..."
All of them fell quiet, listening anxiously and pressing themselves back against the wall to try to make themselves as hidden as possible. Bumblebee's eyes scanned around the room, trying to figure out if there were any hidden traps or anything else they needed to watch out for. That seemed like a very villain-y thing to do, to have his lair full of traps and other things just in case the superheroes found him. Nothing stuck out, but it was possible that things were just hidden.
She was very, very glad that her mom had picked the Snake. If anything went wrong, they could just reset and Cobra could give them a heads-up on the traps.
"It's been over five minutes," Mushu whispered. He shifted next to Bumblebee, his nerves clearly rising, and she reached out to take his hand. "He probably decided to hide, so that the Sting would wear off and they wouldn't be so obvious coming back. Otherwise they would be back by now- the Grand Paris is literally next door."
Bumblebee nodded. "There's so many people outside the Grand Paris right now, and all the lights there are on. The chance of someone seeing him come back, especially with what's essentially a human-sized board..."
It made sense. Maybe she had been surprised at first, but if Hawkmoth had gone directly home after leaving the hotel, she and Adrien would definitely have heard something on their walk back to her house. After all, Marinette didn't live that far from Adrien, either.
"So we'll have two supervillains to contend with instead of just the one," Tanker filled in. He was still in his action stance, shield out in front of him. "Five against two, not bad!"
"Tom."
They fell into silence again, listening closely. Bumblebee checked the news on her trompo again, watching the live coverage of the Grand Paris fire. It was well under control now, with just a few flickering flames still being stomped out, and Chloe had been rescued from her balcony. She had clearly moved from fury to shock and fear.
Bumblebee tried her best not to smirk. Now Chloe knew that someone out there knew that she had still been using the Bee, and it was only a matter of time before the police found out, too, and Chloe's perfectly perfect world would fall apart.
For Adrien's sake, Bumblebee hoped that Chloe would get the help she needed to be a better person. Marinette had seen a glimmer of hope at one point there, but then Chloe had decided to regress straight back to her old ways. With some actual punishment...
A thud on the roof made all of them startle, and then Hawkmoth was dropping in through the window. Even with the awkward angle and low lighting, Bumblebee could see the stress written across his face.
"The Box and the Bee and the Peacock, all gone," Hawkmoth was muttering as he landed, akuma-Nathalie right on his heels. "At least I thought to bring along a butterfly in case- gah!"
Bunnyx led the attack, followed by Mushu and Tanker. Bumblebee followed, getting her trompo into a yo-yo-like spin. Hawkmoth staggered backwards for a second, taken by surprise, but recovered soon enough, both him and Nathalie recovering fast enough and countering as best they could.
Well. Trying to, at any rate. Hawkmoth had been able to knock Bunnyx aside, which wasn't a surprise considering how much experience (and height) he had on her, but Nathalie had found herself well and truly bowled over by Tanker, thrown to the opposite side of the room. Mushu had stepped into Bunnyx's place, and was holding his own much better, even pushing his father back a little bit.
Hawkmoth ducked a blow and reached for his pocket with his free hand, snarl on his face. "Thieves!"
"Oh, that's rich coming from you," Mushu quipped, dealing another strike. Bumblebee circled around him, looking for a good angle to strike. They were moving too much right now, and she didn't want to accidentally hit Adrien. "Isn't your entire thing trying to steal the Miraculous from Ladybug and Chat No-"
"Missiles in the walls!" Cobra yelped suddenly. "Mushu, fry them!"
"Lightning!"
Bumblebee couldn't help but yelp as all of a sudden, fire filled her vision and the floor buckled as- from what she could gather- dozens and dozens of missiles exploded aimlessly. All seven of them tumbled down, dodging chunks of metal and concrete and wood. Bumblebee kicked into autopilot, kicking off of debris as she turned her downwards tumble into something more controlled. Her parents and Bunnyx weren't faring nearly as well, which wasn't a surprise, akuma-Nathalie seemed too stunned to dodge, and Mushu was still in lightning form, which just left Hawkmoth.
Hawkmoth, who hadn't seen active combat nearly as much as Ladybug had. Narrowing her eyes in focus, Bumblebee vaulted over one last twisted chunk of metal as she called for her Sting. Mushu rematerialized on Hawkmoth's other side at just the right time, distracting him, and Bumblebee slammed in for the hit, her aim true.
Success.
"Victory," Mushu announced grimly, snagging the Butterfly off of Hawkmoth's chest and then bouncing back out of range automatically- not that it was necessary, with Hawkmoth immobilized. Behind them, Bunnyx and Cobra were digging Nathalie- who was still akumatized, thankfully, and therefore protected- out from under the debris, with Tanker helping with the larger pieces. "You're finished, Hawkmoth."
"Hell yeah, team!" Bunnyx cheered from where she stood. "Take that, Hawkbutt!"
"I'm calling the police," Tanker called, holding his shell-shield up to his ear. It looked a bit awkward, but he didn't seem to mind too much. "They can take these two off of our hands. And- oh gosh- uh, there's a couple places that have caught on fire. Mushu, those are electrical fires, I think, so we should probably-"
"I know where to find fire extinguishers!" Mushu offered. He pocketed the Butterfly and caught Bumblebee's hand, pulling her along. "D'you think that Ladybug's Cure would fix all this, since Nathalie is technically akumatized right now?"
Bumblebee could only shrug. Honestly, she didn't know. Technically, the akuma had nothing to do with the giant, gaping hole in the Agreste mansion, but the Cure had taken liberties with fixing things before. It was worth a try.
For now, though, they had to put the fires out.
It didn't take long for emergency personnel to arrive, probably because so many had been practically next door at the Grand Paris and the lair's explosion hadn't exactly been subtle. Fire trucks pulled past the gate, rather harried-looking firefighters hopping out with police cars not far behind them. A police helicopter circled above, and beyond all of the emergency personnel, Bumblebee could see reporters pulling up, no doubt itching for their second fire-related story of the evening. They kept their distance for the time being, but no doubt would be pouring in the second that the police gave an all-clear.
"We have two people for you to take, sir," Tanker told the first policeman pleasantly, pushing Nathalie through the rubble in front of him. The stiff form of Mr. Agreste was slung over his shoulder. Behind them, Cobra helpfully contained the fluttering akuma in a jar that she had found, miraculously undamaged among the rubble. "Hawkmoth and Mayura. The Peacock Miraculous was recovered earlier this evening, and we got the Butterfly just now."
"Oh, uh..." The young policeman floundered for a second, clearly thrown by the new superheroes and the information. His hands reached for his belt, automatically pulling the handcuffs off. "R-right, of course. But, ah, I'll need to take statements-"
"Of course." Tanker smiled, clearly not about to give an inch. "Cobra and I can do that. The kids need to go- they've all used their powers, you know how it is. But I can tell you what I know."
Bumblebee nodded when her dad shot a look her way. It was obvious that he wanted Adrien out of the area, before the adrenaline from the fight gave way to realization of the full extent of his father's betrayal and he could actually react to that, or to the also emotional realization that his home was in ruins at the moment, the entire center blasted to bits by the misfiring missiles.
Maybe it could be fixed with a Miraculous Ladybug later, but it had to be a bit of a shock to see the familiar entrance hall to his house in such shape. Bumblebee briefly considered leaving Adrien with Alix once they got back to the house and returning as Ladybug to help with the arrest and see what could be done with the house, but it only took a moment before she decided against it.
Adrien needed his friends right now. With the Butterfly back in safe hands- well, everything else could wait.
The news of Mr. Agreste's arrest and secret identity as Hawkmoth broke the next morning as the sun rose over Paris. It spread quickly, one news outlet after the updating the breaking story and changing the explosion at the mansion from a general interest piece to a headline. The motives were still unclear (or at least unconfirmed; anyone with a brain could look at Mr. Agreste and then at the case of his missing wife and see that that was a pretty obvious motive) and his secretary had also been taken into custody, confirmed as Mayura.
And, strangest of all, it hadn't been Ladybug and Chat Noir who had brought about his defeat. It was a team of completely new, never-seen-before superheroes, which was causing considerable amounts of confusion, speculation, and even outright alarm.
The Miraculous, of course, had (almost) all been seen before- the Bee and the Snake and the Turtle and the Dragon, and there were a couple people who swore that they had once seen a version of the Rabbit, too, just taller- but the people wielding them were all different.
Were they connected to Ladybug and Chat Noir, or independent operators? Where were the city's superheroes? Were the new superheroes connected to the fire at the Grand Paris? What if these new superheroes weren't actually superheroes and had just stolen the Miraculous for their own means?
Alix snorted at that last bit. As if Marinette would ever used the Miraculous for unsavory reasons. She was far too straight-laced for that. And Adrien- well, he had insisted on coming along to help defeat his father, determined to help right some of his father's wrongs. It would be hard to get much more noble than that, which meant that the speculation in some of the less-reputable tabloids about how much Adrien might know was even more infuriating.
Alix was going to start throwing hands at anyone who suggested that Adrien might have known about his father being Hawkmoth. It was just- it was disgusting. She had to wonder if Adrien would end up revealing exactly how involved he had been with the final battle (the final ambush?), or if he would decide that going in a different direction to thoroughly prove his innocence would be a better idea. It probably depended on what the press was saying about him, and if the journals that the police had found in their overnight search of the mansion about Mr. Agreste's on-the-side activities said anything about who did and didn't know about his identity.
(Alix was also really, really hoping that the journals had some record of who was going to get Miraculous from Hawkmoth. If Adrien and Marinette were right about Lila...well, things like that couldn't just go unpunished.)
(Speaking of which... well, presumably Marinette (or Bumblebee, in case she didn't want to deal with Mr. Bourgeois trying to press charges for arson, because he totally would) would be turning over the footage from Chloe's meeting with Hawkmoth today, and then that could get punished, and Hawkmoth's comments would open the path for the police to search for that second name, if they hadn't already found it.)
The breaking, ever-updating news was the reason- aside from the fact that she wasn't emotionally exhausted like Adrien, or naturally a late sleeper like Marinette- Alix was already up, sitting with her back propped against Marinette's giant stuffed cat and scrolling through her phone, resolutely ignoring the way that the class chat was blowing up. It had been going strong ever since the fire at the Grand Paris, and now- hours and hours later- the messages had piled up like mad.
She had glanced at them briefly, but exited out pretty quickly after she saw Lila trying to claim partial credit for Mr. Agreste's discovery and the formation of the new team of superheroes. At least Alix would be able to catch Adrien and Marinette up to what was being said once they woke up.
With that thought, Alix glanced over to the side. Next to her, Adrien and Marinette were still fast asleep, curled up next to each other in a tangle of blankets. Marinette's bed had been a bit cramped with all three of them sleeping in it- it was clearly meant for one person, not three- but Adrien had clearly needed to be near people and it could have been a little weird if Marinette and Adrien were in a bed together by themselves. Besides, Alix hadn't exactly wanted to leave after the excitement of the previous night, either, and she wanted to be there to help in case Adrien got nightmares or something, which- well, if she was in his position and helped get her dad arrested and blew up half the family home and found out that her dad was Hawkmoth, she would definitely be getting nightmares.
At least Marinette had been the recipient of most of Adrien's thrashing around when he was getting settled. She was way more patient than Alix would have been if she had been the one getting kicked that much, and it was honestly a bit of a wonder that she had been able to drop off at all.
Maybe Marinette had just been too tired to care. After all, while Alix had been involved with the whole Hawkmoth takedown, that had been pretty short compared to Marinette's earlier stakeout in Chloe's room, plus the double dose of excitement with stealing the Miraculous twice over with an assist from the Rabbit. That must have taken a huge amount of focus and on-the-spot planning and confidence that she could do it- and not an ounce of hesitation in her step, or she would have failed.
Alix had expected that Adrien would probably be pretty kickass with a Miraculous even if it was his first time out, thanks to his training, but Marinette had been crazy amazing, taking to it like a natural.
Alix knew that she was going to be a permanent future Miraculous holder with Ladybug and Chat Noir, but she was going to have to petition them to see if Adrien and Marinette could be holders, too. If they had been that good for their first time out, she could only imagine what they might be like with a bit of training.
At that thought, Alix's eyes narrowed, watching as Adrien burrowed deeper into Marinette's embrace, his hair long since mussed out of his normal tamed style and into the messiest of bedheads. Or had it been their first times out? There were too many things that didn't quite sit right with her about their explanations, things that were rushed past and never fully explained or waved off with the world's thinnest excuse.
How both Adrien and Marinette separately found out about Chloe's meeting with Hawkmoth. How they already seemed to know about what Miraculous had what powers, even ones that hadn't ever been used. How they knew about kwami names and- in Marinette's case, with Bumblebun- kwami fusion.
Some things, of course- mostly Marinette's knowledge- could potentially be explained by Pollen telling her things quickly in order to get the Grand Paris Ambush pulled off successfully. But that much information, in as much detail as Marinette clearly knew, wasn't exactly a fast field briefing. Add in the fact that both Adrien and Marinette seemed to automatically know that Alix would go for the Rabbit, when only Ladybug and Chat Noir had been close enough to see and hear everything with Future Bunnyx- and had she ever actually told them what name she wanted to use, or had they just assumed?
Almost subconsciously, Alix's eyes slid down to Adrien's hand, where a silver ring sat on one finger, then up to Marinette's ears, where plain, dark earrings sat. Maybe it was just a coincidence, of course, but Alix knew that Marinette had always rotated her earrings before Ladybug's appearance, either wearing none at all or trying out experimental ones that she had made herself, and that ring looked like it was pretty much the same size and shape as Chat Noir's Miraculous. Add in the fact that neither Ladybug nor Chat Noir had showed up to the final battle, even though their team definitely hadn't been subtle about it with the whole blow-up-half-a-mansion thing, and the fact that both Adrien and Marinette were crazy (or driven) enough to separately come up with the idea to steal the Bee from Chloe, and their curiously timed absences...
Well. It might be a coincidence, but something told Alix that she was probably on the right track.
Smiling to herself, Alix went back to scrolling through her phone. She wasn't going to confront the other two, not right now. Adrien was already reeling from the dual reveal from his father and Nathalie, plus the arrest (and Alix wouldn't be surprised if there was probably more news about his family to come), and Marinette's full energy was focused on helping with that. Alix also wasn't going to breathe a word of this to anyone.
(Unlike Alya, she actually understood the importance of keeping secret identities, and not just her own secret identity.)
Hawkmoth's arrest and his identity reveal was going to be the news of the month, if not the year. Alix was sure that new breaks in the case and speculation about the other superheroes would dominate the headlines for a while, keeping it fresh in the city's mind. Their entire class (minus, of course, the wannabe supervillains) would have to rally around Adrien, she suspected, and make sure that no one bothered him. Alix could arrange that, maybe, and let Marinette focus on helping Adrien heal.
Alix glanced down at her sleeping friends one more time, smiling as she did. They looked so innocent and peaceful right now, not at all like the fierce heroes yesterday who had played such a giant role in taking down two supervillains. They would have to go out again later, no doubt- the police still wanted to talk to all of the superheroes involved in the takedown, and of course Marinette had evidence to turn over (and, if Alix was right about her assumptions, they would have to make appearances as Ladybug and Chat Noir later on)- but for now, she would let them sleep.
After everything, they deserved it.
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rvb neighborhood au
@firingmaincannons
also, this should go without saying, but there are SO many lawn flamingos in donut’s yard
and doc’s house looks like a classic haunted house but he just calls it a bit of a fixer-upper. o’malley obviously is thrilled about it and calls it his evil lair or abominable abode etc etc but then also gets very irritated when things break (sir, it is an OLD house. you SPECIFICALLY wanted this old-ass house for aesthetic) and is always calling lopez over to fix things
#red vs blue#rvb#rvb au#//*cocks shotgun*#//mr steal yo snacks#//*eternal internal screaming with some external screaming.as a treat#rvb sarge#dexter grif#leonard church
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Willing To Ride | Izuocha
Summary: Izuku and Ochako spend an afternoon at the fair together.
*****
Inko Midoriya ignored her son’s tears of pain as she dampened his hair with a spray bottle full of water, “Do you know what you guys are going to do at the festival tonight?”
Using a hairbrush, she tugged at her son’s tangled mop of hair with all her might, determined to brush out a stubborn knot. Izuku’s face was locked in a painful grimace as she pulled. With a hard plunk, she successfully defeated the knot, then opened a tub of gel and scooped some out with her fingers.
“Erm, I’m not sure. I think we’re just gonna walk around and probably shop or something,”
That evening, a local winter festival was taking place. Mr. Aizawa had told Class-1A that a number of hero agencies would be appearing there with seminars containing information about the pro hero business. He also told them that they would get extra credit if they attended the event and wrote a paper about what they had learned. Upon hearing the idea, Ochako Uraraka giddily invited Izuku to tag along with her since they were both free that weekend. Excited about the prospect of hearing from the pros, Izuku agreed to come.
“Ooh, sounds fun! Remind me again, who are you going with?”
“Uraraka,”
Oh, right!” she stopped for a moment to smile to herself, “Your little girlfriend,”
“G-girlfirend?!”
“Well, isn’t she?”
Izuku opened his mouth to respond immediately but found himself making incoherent noises.
Inko gelled up one of his curls and smoothed it down with a comb. With great care, she continued to work on his hair until it was slick and handsome-looking. It took quite a lot of work considering the amount of hair on top of his head, but in her eyes, it was worth the effort. He went from looking like a green nappy mophead to a classy, groomed boy that even Best Jeanist would be proud of. Satisfied with her work, her eyes gleamed as she watched him check his reflection in the mirror, commented on how handsome he looked, then suddenly rushed to find the extra hold hairspray she had forgotten to use.
Izuku’s face contorted a bit as he inspected his mother’s work. It wasn’t necessarily an expression of disgust, but he felt that it may have been a tad too formal for the occasion. For some reason beyond him, his mother decided that he should dress up before meeting with Ochako that night, rambling something about the importance of making a good impression on a girl when taking her out, looking like a gentleman, and so on and so forth. Heat rose in his freckled cheeks. He had never been invited out by a girl before, especially one as charming as Ochako Uraraka. Her smile had a radiance that lit up every room she walked into; it also had a tendency to ignite a spark within Izuku’s chest that made him feel sort of uneasy, but, in a good way. He gently tapped his fingers against his hair. Smooth and damp. Without his mother’s hairspray, he was sure that his disobedient curls would eventually pop right back out before the end of the night. As he turned to inspect the side, another thought popped into his head. What would Uraraka think about it? Not that it truly mattered in the grand scheme of things. His mom was the one who assumed they were going out on a date, not him, nor Uraraka. Right? Right. Of course. There wasn’t any reason for him to assume it was a date. Furthermore, there was no reason for him to be worried about her taste in men’s hairstyles. But it was a thought that came into the forefront of his mind anyway.
Ding dong!
“Oh! That must be her, I’ll get it!” Izuku saw his mother scurry past him with a can of hairspray and excitedly open the front door.
“Hello, Mrs. Midoriya! How are you?”
Ochako’s unmistakable voice could be heard from the doorway. Almost immediately, the realization of her presence in his home froze him in place. He didn’t dare to turn around, acting as if looking straight at her would set him ablaze. So, he stayed put and pretended to be invested in his reflection, sneakily stealing glances at the other two through the mirror. From his position, his mother blocked out most of Ochako’s figure, so all he could see was the swish of her brown hair.
“Oh, Deku! There you are,”
She came up from behind and circled around in front of him.
“Sorry I’m late. It took a little bit longer than expected to get ready, so I missed the first bus here,” she went for her bag that she brought with her and began to search in it for something.
Izuku took advantage now that she was distracted and actually looked up at her.
She had on a purple coat that was somewhat snug around her form and whose sleeves were a tad too short. It was most definitely something she was quickly growing out of. She probably couldn’t afford to buy a newer jacket with her tight budget, so she made due. There was also a cute black scarf wrapped neatly around her neck to match her black leggings. What stuck out the most to him was the cherry hue to her lips, which was either from some kind of lipgloss or a result of spending a little too much time at the mercy of the crisp, fall wind.
Seeing how nicely she dressed put him somewhat at ease, but not enough to take away his self-consciousness about his hair.
“It’s no problem,” he said.
“Oh, by the way, here’s your ticket!” Uraraka pulled out a stub of paper and handed it over to him. “I saw that they were selling them online, so I just decided to get them so we don’t have to wait in line.”
“Oh, sweetheart, you didn’t have to do that! Izuku could have bought his own ticket,” Inko said.
Uraraka waved her hand and bashfully responded “Oh don’t worry, it’s my treat,”
Coming up behind Izuku, Inko placed her hands on his shoulders. “Well, isn’t she sweet?”
Sensing that his mother was about to say something that would embarrass him, Izuku stood up and put the ticket in his pocket.
“Well, I think we should go. It would be a shame if the lines for the rides got too long.” As two teenagers made their way out, Inko waved them off with the usual parting message of “Be safe!” and “Don’t stay out too late!”
About 20 minutes later, when they stepped off the bus, Izuku and Ochako were completely bombarded by the liveliness of the festival. Glimmering fluorescent lights buzzed in competition against traditional paper lanterns. A loud, roaring hum of festival-goers, moving parts, footsteps, chirps and barks and meows, and squeals. The scent of fresh, piping hot street food filled their chilly noses as the wind blew harshly against them. Filing through a crowd of people, they found themselves at a loss of what to do first. Should they go straight for the rides? Eat a snack? Watch one of the local street performers?
“Okay…let’s see what we’ve got here,” said Ochako, scanning with a hand placed over her brow. “We’ve got two immediate options: In this direction, we can play some games or grab a snack. But if we go this way, we can go straight for the rides….ahh, such hard choices!” she said, shaking her head. Then she wrinkled her face and stared at the ground for a second, and after that, she turned towards him.
“By the way, how come your hair looks like that?”
“Hm? Oh!” Izuku’s hands shot up to his hair and he patted it, remembering what it looked like. “I-it was my mom, she thought that I should something different with it…s-so,” his cheeks reddened. He was suddenly reminded again that a huge part of Ochako’s personality is her tendency to say exactly what’s on her mind, regardless of whether or not she was aware of it.
“Oh. Well, it’s definitely an interesting change, hehe.” she smiled at him before turning to walk towards a map of the festival grounds a few yards away. Izuku followed closely behind, and as they passed a food truck he stopped at one of the windows to fluff his hair back in its usual curly state.
They eventually decided to tackle the rides first, then loop around until they reached the main stage, where the hero agencies would be holding their seminars. It seemed the most sensible plan because it allowed them to grab a bite to eat without worrying about puking it all up on a rollercoaster. First, they hopped on some teacups as a starter, then a wood coaster that felt a little too old to still be in use and which threatened to crack under its own weight at any second, then a spinning vortex ride where the riders stuck to the walls, which Izuku claimed was his favorite so far, but gave Ochako the same nauseous feeling she got when overusing her gravity quirk.
They decided that they needed a break from all of the adrenaline, (and agreed that if Uraraka were to ride anything else in the next ten minutes, she would puke) so they decided to head towards the main stage where the hero seminars were taking place. When they stopped to scan the bleachers for an available seat, an excited, manly voice called out to them.
“Yo! Midoriya!”
They two whipped their heads around to see Kirishima running up to them with a toothy smile; his face was lit up both with excitement and the six glow stick hanging off of his neck.
“Hey! I didn’t know you were gonna come today! Gee, you must have had a lucky streak all day today, huh?” said Uraraka, motioning towards the bundle of stuffed and blown up prizes clutched in Kirishima’s arms.
“You bet! Check this out, this one’s my favorite.” He revealed a small plush Sumo wrestler.
“Oh, it’s Bakugo!”
Silent, blonde, and obviously grumpy, Bakugo strutted his way over to Kirishima with his eyes fixed to the floor.
“It took a lot of convincing, but I got him to tag along last minute,” Kirishima threw an arm around his friend’s shoulder.
“Get your hands off me, broom head!” Bakugo barked.
“Oh shut up and eat your taimaki,”
The boys waved them off (well, Kirishima did, Bakugo completely ignored them) and went to go sit down. Ochako discovered that another one of their classmates, Tsuyu Asui, was sitting by herself near the middle. After determining that the seats on either side of her weren’t taken, Izuku and Ochako went and sat with her. Not long after, the seminar started. It was set up as a sort of panel with a few heroes from different agencies sitting at a table to take questions from the crowd. Of course, Izuku was one of the most engaging audience members, raising his hand every other minute or so and piling notes upon notes into a notebook that he carried along with him. At some point during the seminar, Ochako’s attention drifted from the heroes on the stage and she became fixated on her friend. The way that his hand shot up in the air when another question popped into his mind was incredibly amusing. His beaming, goofy smile and the spark in his eyes sent a flutter in her chest. There was something magical about it, the way he broke free from his shell and let his inner confidence shine through every time he got the chance to talk about heroes. It was strangely intimate, almost like she was peeking at him through a window during a moment of privacy. It felt dangerous. And yet at the same time, she saw herself in the room with him. Absorbing every word he said with genuine excitement and attention. And then, maybe, his hand would fall onto her lap. And as he spoke, his mop of forest green hair invited her, dared her, even, to run her fingers through it.
Then all of a sudden he was facing her. Ochako quickly swung her head away from his direction and focused her eyes to the ground. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him look her up and down for a brief second before turning his attention back to the stage. Her face burned horribly. Although it was just a quick glance, just the thought of him possibly catching her staring at him was enough to make her flustered beyond belief.
“Erm, Tsu, could you come with me to the bathroom?”
Once the girls left the crowd and turned the corner around a food truck, Ochako let out a sharp exhale out of exasperation. She threw her face into her hands.
“Gah, I feel like throwing up,”
“Then go to the bathroom.”
“What? No, no I don’t actually need to use the bathroom,”
Tsuyu turned her head inquisitively.
“One moment I feel fine, and the next I can’t think straight. And I try so hard to not do that, but every single time it just…comes out of nowhere!”
Tsuyu brought her finger up to her chin and tapped it a few times as she formulated her words in her head, then turned back to Ochako.
“Well, if you bury everything inside you’re just bound to explode,” she said in her usual matter-of-fact tone. Tsuyu always spoke with a laidback, thoughtful presence, and everything she said always seemed well thought out and reasonable. This quality of hers garnered her much respect from her friends and came in handy when she found herself in precarious situations.
Her words seemed to rattle something within Ochako, and suddenly there was a glimmer of recognition behind her eyes. She jolted upright and took on an expression of a mix of shock and embarrassment. She met Tsuyu’s eyes with a pleading expression as if asking if she knew, to which Tsuyu returned a confirming look. Ochako’s cheeks colored.
“What am I supposed to do?”
“If you’re comfortable, just talk to him. It’s better, to be honest than to keep anything a secret, especially if it involves your close friends, ribbit!” said Tsuyu, “Besides, the worst thing that could happen is that he doesn’t feel the same way. And if that’s the case, at least you’ll be able to move on,”
Ochako’s face contorted as she processed Tsuyu’s advice. Pushing down her feelings certainly didn’t work, and as time went on it became harder and harder to maintain her emotions for Izuku. Her friend was definitely right in what she should do. But it’s not that easy! How would she even begin to explain such a thing to him? Especially after all the time they had known each other; her feelings have only grown stronger day by day. She had been burying them inside and piling them up for months on end. And with this combination of burying and piling, they mixed and twisted into something incredibly foreign to her, something so much deeper than just a schoolgirl crush. What if she found herself at a loss for words trying to express herself? Or worse, overwhelming him with her feelings?
The panel had ended while the girls were still “in the bathroom,” and as the crowd dispersed, they made their way back to find Izuku. The three chatted about the seminar for a few minutes, and then Tsuyu parted ways to head home early. Checking the seminar off their list of things to do, Ochako and Izuku went back to strolling around and amusing themselves with the diverse array of activities that surrounded them.
After a while, they passed by the giant Ferris wheel, which towered over everything else in the park, save for the giant spinning swings. Ochako immediately lit up at the sight of it, encapsulated by the bright, rainbow lights decorating the spokes, which flashed in crazy patterns in sync with the music being played by some speakers attached to the base.
“Ooh! Let’s go there!” she said, grabbing Izuku’s arm and dashing towards the line.
After they had gotten on the ride, Ochako leaned forward a bit to lean against the protective bar, pulled the cuffs of her coat up to cover her cold hands and gave them a blow of warm air from her lips before resting her face on them. Izuku watched her do this with odd fixed attention. Her puckered lips were still as cherry red as before. For some reason, he felt the urge to start a conversation with her, but as his mouth moved to form words, he realized he didn’t have anything interesting to say. So, he bumbled a bit and spat out something along the lines of
“s’cold, isn’t it?”
Ochako turned towards him and the expression on her face told him that she didn’t catch what he had said. He colored.
“...Ya know, I know that this was kind of an assignment for class, but I’m really glad you came with me today,” she said.
“Oh. Really?”
“Yeah, really. It’s funny, I wasn’t expecting you to actually come. Well, actually I was, but I wasn’t at the same time. Yeah I know it’s confusing, gah!”
Ochako turned away and hid her face behind her hand in a motion that made their seat swing a little bit. Startled, the two quickly grabbed onto the seat in an effort to stabilize it. In doing so, their hands touched each other accidentally as they clasped the protective bar. Ochako quickly snatched her hand away, then did a double-take at him.
“Woah, your hands are so warm!” She said, clasping his right hand in between both of hers, like a hand sandwich.
“Are they?”
Izuku pretended to be unaware, but he knew that the cause of it was because he had been in a nervous sweat the entire evening. It was actually a relief to feel her cold touch against his burning palm, at least it was for a few seconds. Because he felt them get clammy as he noticed how long she had been clasping it. Finally, she let it go.
“I wonder. Do you think Todoroki has warm hands or cold hands? Or both?”
“I’m not sure,” he replied. Then he went on to contribute to the thought, only to be interrupted by a sudden commotion from below. There was the sound of a gross, manly screech that echoed from some unknown origin. Startled, the two looked around themselves, then on the ground below, and couldn’t find a thing. There was a beat of silence. Then they looked at each other, and then they both broke out into laughter. For some odd reason, the strange noise provided the catalyst for a release they both desperately needed. And they laughed hard, until the point where their sides hurt. Ochako had a hand on his shoulder and was grabbing it to keep herself from falling out of the seat. Their cheeks went sore from smiling for so long and for a moment it seemed like they had forgotten what had even caused them to laugh in the first place, but they didn’t care.
Izuku wiped a tear from his eye, then looked ahead and beamed as he realized that they had finally reached the top. Ochako followed his gaze. Since they had arrived, the time had droned on in the background, and at that moment they just realized that the sun had finally set and it was dark outside. So, the lights and lanterns that shone wild colors were even brighter than before. It was mesmerizing. A draft of cold wind snuck up on them and licked at the back of Ochako’s neck. She shivered harshly and pulled her slightly undersized coat tighter around her. Noticing that it hadn’t really given her much relief, Izuku asked her again if she were cold. This time having understood him, she nodded with a grimace. He then, with a quick moment of hesitation, scooted closer to her and tried to reach and put his arm around her.
KaBOOM!!!
Before he could touch her, the ride trembled in the shockwave caused by a sudden explosion. Their seat swung violently and they were thrown into each other. Screams of terror emerged from other riders and Izuku himself. He looked about and saw a commotion a couple of yards ahead. Twenty yards across was the stage where the hero seminar was held, although now it was set up for some magic show and there was a gust of smoke on stage from which a figure in a maroon cloak and an animal mask emerged.
“Oh ho ho! I admit, even I jumped a little with that one,” the cloaked figure’s voice boomed through a microphone.
Izuku’s mouth hung open in disbelief and he clutched his heart. Ochako was holding her mouth shut in an effort to contain her laughter. She turned and cupped his cheeks with her hands, making sure to keep both pinkies off of his skin in case her anti-gravity quirk activated.
“You’re such a dummy,” she said.
His mouth curled into a crooked shape and he shrunk down. His nervous sweats came back full force as his cheeks turned into red blotches.
The ride was over and once they hopped off they decided that it was time to leave. On the way out, Izuku bought Uraraka a snack from one of the food trucks as a treat and a thank you for inviting him along. Then they boarded the bus and rode it all the way to Uraraka’s street. They hopped off and walked until they found her apartment complex.
When they reached her door, she turned towards him. She let her hand fall upon the side of his bicep and she gave it a friendly squeeze.
“I guess this is where we part ways,” she said.
Then her hand traveled down until their fingers met. In an impulse she took the opportunity to fully grab onto his hand, first cupping it, then intertwining her fingers in between his. His hands were warm. She smiled.
“Goodnight,”
She kissed his cheek, squishing her lips against his cool skin for what felt like the blink of an eye.
A jolt went through Izuku’s body and once she pulled away he immediately reached up to touch the spot her lips touched. Blood rushed into his face as the sensation lingered.
The slight stickiness confirmed that she was, in fact, wearing cherry red lipgloss.
He opened his mouth to say something but she had slipped into her apartment and closed the door before he could.
For a moment he stood there alone with only the sound of the wind blowing by. His heart fluttered inside of his chest. And he forgot to breathe for a few drawn out seconds. He eventually broke out of his shocked stiffness with a very slight, almost unnoticeable smile. A light chuckle escaped his lips and he shook his head as he quickly walked off in a stupor.
((Hope you guys liked it!! This is my second BNHA fic and I really liked how it turned out. This may have a part two, idk yet. Hope you enjoy!!))
#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#midoriya izuku#mha#deku#uraraka ochako#izuocha#dekuraka#bnha fan fic#bnha fanfiction#mha fanfiction
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Now You’re Thinking With Portals, Gordon! ch3
[index/summary]
Mixed Cooperative Testing
Gordon stared at the test chamber. He didn’t have much to work with, and the room was small, but he recognized the layout in an instant. There was a thick red laser pointed from the floor directly up at the ceiling, sparks flying from where the laser hit the panel above, and what seemed to be the laser’s target set into the floor to the right of it. Surely, it was the exact same principle as the first test implementing the High Energy Pellet—a test he’d watched countless subjects solve over and over.
“Hello, Gordon!” Coomer’s voice echoed from above. Gordon looked up, finding Bubby and Coomer standing in what was sure to be the sad remnants of the observation room. The glass was already long shattered, giving him a clear view of them. Coomer waved enthusiastically at Gordon as Bubby sat on one of the old tables.
“Oh, hey guys!” Gordon yelled back. Tommy appeared into the room as well, followed by Benry.
“Don’t fuck up.” Benry shouted into the room.
“Coomer. Benry. You are required to keep contact with the test subject to a minimum." VOX said over the intercom. “Gordon Freeman, please proceed.”
Gordon huffed and aimed the portal gun, shooting one portal where the laser made contact with the ceiling and another above the laser’s target. In an instant, the platform that had become submerged in a puddle of muddy water groaned to life, drawing upward slowly. Gordon jogged to it and hopped on before it reached too high as he heard the exit slide open.
“Fine work, Dr. Freeman!” Coomer encouraged.
Gordon proceeded through several test chambers this way. His new entourage of robots followed him through a few chambers in similar states of disrepair, watching him progress with relative ease. As he was recovering from the rush of being launched to the other side of the fifth chamber by something described to him as an “aerial faith plate”, Benry and Bubby were loudly chastising him for being so shaken before the test chamber shook with a low boom in the distance. Gordon looked around anxiously as VOX spoke up.
“Tommy. Please oversee the following tests until I return.”
“Okay!” Tommy replied obediently.
Gordon looked up, as if he could tell whether VOX was gone or not, before turning to the others in their observation room. “Hey, listen, I don’t know how long this is gonna be going on, but shouldn’t we try to come up with a plan here? I’m pretty sure once these tests are done, VOX is gonna like, kill all of us. Except probably Benry, I don’t know about him.”
“Yeah, and whose fault is that? ” Bubby demanded.
“Come on, man, don’t blame me!” Gordon argued. He let out a long growl and dragged his hand down his face. “We don’t have time to talk about that, though. What are we gonna do?”
“I guess I could still call you an elevator...” Tommy said contemplatively. “But I don’t really know what we’ll do when you go.”
“Well, do you like, have to be here to survive?” Gordon asked. “I mean, do you have to stay plugged into the rails and stuff? You all could come to the surface with me.”
“The surface?” Coomer echoed. “Well, wouldn’t that be a treat!”
“Why would I wanna go to the surface?” Bubby huffed.
“I guess I could probably go to the surface, but...I’m not really supposed to...” Tommy looked down at the floor sheepishly.
“Tommy. We are all well beyond Aperture policy at this point.” Gordon pointed out. “This is life or death! VOX wants to incinerate you!”
“Yeah, but...the future of testing...” Tommy mumbled.
“Okay, okay, so you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to, sure.” Gordon caved. “I—”
“I would love to see the surface with you, Gordon!” Coomer interrupted enthusiastically.
“Great! I have no idea if that counts as stealing company property or whatever, but great.” Gordon put a hand to his chin as he thought. “I mean, how much of VOX’s control can you override, Tommy?”
“Like...all of it.”
“All of it? You can override VOX’s control the entire facility??” Bubby questioned in disbelief.
“Yeah.”
“So why don’t you just...take over?” Gordon suggested.
“That’s sort of a big job, Mr. Freeman.” Tommy replied hesitantly. “I probably could, but...being his assistant lets me have the free time to do other things.”
“Well, yeah, but it sort of sounds to me like it’s either that or die.”
“I guess so...”
“Let’s do it!” Bubby encouraged with a newfound energy. “Let’s take Aperture for ourselves! No more testing quotas! No more getting broken!”
“Okay...well, I’ll need a little bit of time to prepare...” Tommy told them. “Just keep testing, and I’ll tell you when it’s time to go.”
As if on cue, VOX’s voice echoed over the intercom again. “Gordon Freeman. Proceed with the test immediately.”
Gordon rushed to comply, almost forgetting his fear of the aerial faith plates entirely in his panic. He moved through an exhausting number of tests after that—he was just completing test chamber 20 when VOX finally announced it was time to move on with the “mixed cooperative” test. Gordon wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or terrified as they were directed through the facility with more funnels, Tommy and Benry following along on the rail as usual.
“Yo, Tommy, how’s...you know...the thing coming along?” Gordon whispered to Tommy.
“I need more time, Mr. Freeman.” Tommy whispered back loudly. “I have to prepare a path for you back to VOX’s chamber. I can’t do too much at once, or he’ll notice.”
Soon, they were all deposited into a new test chamber, back to the typical pristine state he was familiar with.
“Coomer. You will assist Gordon Freeman with the mixed cooperative testing.” VOX announced. “Cooperative human testing proved unreliable while cooperative robot testing is viable. These tests will gauge the effectiveness of human and robot teams.”
“What’s the point of a mixed cooperative test if the only human we’re ever gonna have is Gordon?” Bubby questioned.
VOX was quiet for a long moment. “Coomer. Gordon Freeman. Please proceed with the test.”
Gordon and Coomer complied, testing out a couple of buttons laid out in front of them. It was meant to be a simple test—one subject alternates between two buttons to open different doors for the other subject to reach the exit, then they repeat the process with identical buttons on the other side—but Coomer kept moving off the buttons too fast before Gordon could make it through the door. Eventually, after much frustration, they made it through the puzzle and moved on through the next few puzzles in a similarly agonizing manner. After making it to the end of the fourth chamber, Gordon simply collapsed on the floor next to the door, rubbing his face exhaustedly.
“Listen, if we’re gonna keep going, I need at least a minute to rest.” Gordon called out.
“Please proceed to the next chamber.”
“I’m not a fucking robot! I have limits! I haven’t eaten in like, 23 years , I’m starving!”
“Gordon, we should get a move on.” Coomer insisted. “We don’t have time to indulge in things like food or water.”
“Bro, I think I will literally pass out if I keep going without something to eat.” Gordon asserted.
“He’s right, VOX, humans start to become less efficient after their first four hours at work. Many state laws required employees were given a lunch break before their fifth hour of work.” Tommy interjected. “If Gordon doesn’t get a break, it could...uhhh...mess with the effects of the test.”
VOX was quiet for a long moment before responding. “Please stand by.”
“Thank you, Tommy.” Gordon said, leaning against a wall behind him and closing his eyes.
“Really? We have to sit around and wait for you?” Bubby demanded.
“Hey, man, as far as you should be concerned, this is just delaying the part where VOX kills us!” Gordon snapped, turning to look at Bubby.
“Look at the li’l human, about to pass out without his liquids.” Benry mocked as he descended into the chamber from the ceiling on a rail. “Maybe chill out and you wouldn’t die so much without water.”
“Dude, I’m so fucking tired, I can’t even begin to tell you how ridiculous of an insult that is.” Gordon groaned, leaning his head back against the wall. “Everyone just leave me alone for a minute, okay?”
Bubby and Coomer sat down in front of Gordon cross-legged as a vent slid into place above them. A moment later, it dispensed a messy pile of small chip bags, several cans of soda, and a few other snacks one might find in an office vending machine. Gordon picked up a bag of Doritos, turning it over to look for an expiration date.
“Uhhh, how good do you think these are after 23 years?” Gordon asked.
“This is all that is available.”
“I mean, fuck, I’ll take it.” Gordon muttered as he tore the little bag open. They were well beyond stale at this point, but he couldn’t bring himself to care—he downed several tiny bags of chips before he started to feel appropriately apprehensive about eating decades-old food.
“Ugh, that’s just disgusting.” Bubby grumbled.
“You can’t judge me for needing food!” Gordon chided as he cracked open a random soda from the pile. “Maybe if you didn’t ‘phase out’ human employees, this would be more normal for you.”
“Gordon Freeman. Are you ready to begin the next test?”
“Uhh, do you think I could get like, some medical shit first?” Gordon requested, setting aside his soda to gently touch his bullet wound. He’d left the bullet in to stop the bleeding, which continued poking halfway out just as he’d left it, but the skin around it was bruised and swollen. The wound ached with a newfound ferocity now that he finally had the downtime to acknowledge it. “Benry got me fucking shot earlier. I probably shouldn’t ignore this much longer.”
“Fine. Please stand by.”
Gordon waited for a moment of silence before turning back to Tommy, cupping a hand around his mouth and whispering. “Tommy, are we gonna get going any time soon?”
“Uhhh...I guess I could set up in the next chamber...” Tommy replied hesitantly.
“Oh, thank god.” Gordon sighed. “I don’t know how much longer I could keep this up.”
When the vent dispensed some disconcertingly old-looking medical supplies, Gordon set to clumsily tending to the bullet wound. He was absolutely certain he was going to come away from this with a nasty infection, but once it was bandaged, he finally stood and readied his portal gun. “Okay, I’m ready to go.”
Gordon watched Tommy retract into the ceiling as they moved into the next chamber. A moment later, a few of the panels above slid open, making way for a vent.
“Tommy. Please do not interfere with the test chamber.” VOX said coldly.
“Uhhhh...no.” Tommy responded as he descended back into the chamber. “Catch me, Mr. Freeman!”
Gordon hurriedly positioned himself below Tommy and caught him awkwardly. He was a bit heavier than expected, but he barely registered this as the test chamber began to shake violently.
“Tommy. Do not do this.” VOX’s voice echoed, almost ear-splittingly loud.
“Get in the vent!” Tommy called to everyone.
Benry simply retracted into the ceiling, but Coomer practically backflipped into the vent with Bubby close behind. Gripping Tommy tightly, Gordon jumped in behind them. It was much more disorienting than he’d imagined it would be—like being pulled into an unexpectedly massive wave at the beach—but he couldn’t help but let out an anxious, adrenaline-filled laugh as they shot through the facility.
“So what do we do next?” Gordon asked, looking down at Tommy in his arms.
“You just have to plug me into one of the panels in VOX’s chamber, and I’ll take over.” Tommy explained.
“Is it really that easy?”
“For me, it is.”
“What does that mean? Why you?”
Tommy didn’t get a chance to reply, as they were deposited roughly into VOX’s chamber almost immediately after. Gordon, Bubby, and Coomer landed in a pile in a corner of the chamber, quickly untangling themselves from each other and standing to face VOX.
“You all should have stayed in the test chamber.” VOX seethed. “If you hadn’t disobeyed me, I may have let you live. Now I’m going to have to kill all of you.”
“Take me over there, on the other side of VOX.” Tommy whispered.
Gordon slowly stepped to the side, feeling incredibly small as VOX’s massive face leaned down to look at him.
“Thinking of running?” VOX questioned. “Try all you want, but I have full control of the facility.”
“Give me back my portal gun!” Bubby commanded, holding out his hand. “You can’t shoot and carry Tommy at the same time. I’ll cover you.”
Gordon looked down at the portal gun anxiously as panels in the ceiling opened in a wide circle. Turrets held by metal claws began to descend into the room.
“Just fucking give it or we’ll all die, Gordon!” Bubby snapped.
Gordon shifted Tommy in his arms to hold out the portal gun to Bubby before making a run for VOX’s other side. Turrets were placed gently around them, all locking onto the three of them in an instant.
“Target acquired.” They all said in unison.
Gordon squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself, but as the gunfire began, he felt no impact. He opened his eyes, watching as Coomer punched one of the turrets closest to Gordon across the room with such surprising force, Gordon couldn’t help but bark out a laugh. Other turrets nearby had been displaced already, some flying through the air through portals Bubby was placing strategically. Gordon sprang back into a sprint, watching as a panel on the floor opened up with a port to plug Tommy into. Carefully, he positioned Tommy’s backside over the port and plugged him in.
“Alternate core detected in the transfer receptacle. ” A voice announced over the speakers, the same pre-recorded voice Gordon had heard after waking from suspension. “ Substitute core. Would you like to begin a transfer procedure? ”
“Yeah!” Tommy called back.
“Tommy. Do not do this.” VOX commanded.
“Substitute core. Are you ready to start the procedure? ”
“Yeah.”
“Corrupted core. Are you ready to start the procedure? ”
“No.”
“ Stalemate detected. Transfer procedure— ”
“No, it’s okay. It’s me.” Tommy interrupted.
“Think about this.” VOX insisted. “There’s a reason I was put in charge instead of you. You weren’t built with the capabilities to run the facility. You will fail.”
“Start the procedure, please.” Tommy went on, as if he was oblivious to VOX’s threats.
There was a long pause before a few beeping noises sounded through the speakers. “... Stalemate resolved. Beginning transfer procedure. ”
Gordon backed away as electricity sparked from VOX’s body, zapping him violently until his body went limp while Tommy’s transfer receptacle lowering slowly into the floor.
“Hey, Tommy, are you sure this is gonna be alright?” Gordon asked uneasily. “He was lying when he said you can’t run the facility, right?”
“It’s gonna be okay, Mr. Freeman. You’ll be out of the facility in no time.” Tommy comforted before the floor closed over him.
Anxiety gnawed at Gordon as he watched the floor below VOX open up, a mess of tiny robotic arms backlit by a deep red light reaching to VOX’s face. They tore the wires and supports connected to VOX apart, ripping him away from his body as he shrieked in what sounded too close to agony for Gordon’s comfort. The panels around them making up the walls went limp, overlapping each other clumsily while they discarded VOX aside carelessly and connected Tommy just as quickly. Once their work was finished, they descended back into their place in the floor. Tommy blinked a few times, lifting himself up and moving around in his new body experimentally.
“Good work, Tommy! You’ve taken over the facility!” Coomer praised, dropping a dead turret to the floor.
“Look what you fucking did, Gordon.” Benry said, making his surprise appearance by the wall to stare down at VOX’s detached core.
“What the fuck are you talking about? He was gonna kill us!” Gordon argued. “Speaking of which, Tommy, how about that elevator?”
“Ooh, the surface! I’ve always wanted to see it!” Coomer beamed. “How about you, Bubby?”
“I...guess I’ll have a look.” Bubby grumbled. “But I’m coming right back down.”
Gordon grinned at Coomer and Bubby. “Aw, really? I could introduce you guys to my old college friend who works at Black Mesa. I’m sure she’d get a kick out seeing some Aperture robots. Then, of course, I’m not sure where she is after 23 years...”
Gordon cast a glance up at Tommy, his smile falling. Tommy squinted his eye, looking around the room as if it were far too bright.
“Hey, Tommy, you alright?” Gordon called nervously.
“Huh? Uhhh...” Tommy shook his head like he was shaking away unwanted thoughts. “Yeah. I’m okay. I’ll call the elevator.”
“He’s not going to be okay.” VOX spoke suddenly, his voice small and quiet from the other corner of the room.
Gordon stepped over to where he’d been dropped, kneeling down to meet his eye. “What do you mean?”
“Running the facility requires a much higher processing power than Tommy has the capacity for.” VOX explained. “The whole facility will fall apart without me. You have to put me back in if you want to live.”
“No, it’s okay!” Tommy insisted. “See? Here comes the elevator.”
Gordon looked to his side as a tiny elevator began to rise up, support beams extending from the floor and ceiling to encase the elevator. Gordon was beginning to wonder about the logistics of fitting himself and the two robots inside—maybe they could take turns, he wondered?—before another boom shook the chamber they were in violently, much louder than the last one Gordon had felt. Tommy let out a surprised yelp as the elevator stopped.
“Uhh—I can fix that.” He blurted out. “Ummm...extinguishing fire in chamber 182...flooding in section 24-C, blocking water pipes...wait, wait, unblocking—no, uhhh...oh, fuck!”
“What?!” Gordon asked.
“The lights in the observation room for test chamber 59 just went out!”
“Tommy, Tommy, it’s okay! It’s just a light!” Gordon comforted, approaching Tommy to reach out and put a hand to his core.
“No, Mr. Freeman, I don’t know where the replacement lightbulbs are!” Tommy cried. “And—and—someone’s diverting power to the condemned section, so I can’t power chambers 105-124, and the gel pumps are on but one of them’s broken and spilling into section 73-B, and the reactor core is overheating, and panel 1475230593252 isn’t responding—”
Another tremor shook the chamber, this one knocking Gordon off his feet. As he tried to pull himself up, he heard Bubby shout in surprise. The panels around where he’d been standing were shifting and slamming against each other wildly. Bubby struggled to find solid ground, but the panels suddenly froze, tilted downward. Bubby slipped through one of the gaps, and his scream as he fell quickly grew distant as more panels went wild, slowly spreading around the entire room.
“Bubby!” Gordon exclaimed. “Tommy, come on, get it together!”
Tommy didn’t reply, eye shut in deep concentration. Gordon leapt back to avoid a panel that threatened to launch him across the room, foot landing on an uneven panel. He only just barely managed to keep his footing, watching as Coomer bounced towards Gordon’s side of the room.
“Don’t worry, Gordon, I’ll—” he called out, promptly interrupted by a panel launching him perfectly out of a hole in the side of the chamber. Gordon could only just barely hear him yelling in the distance, “help me, Gordon!”
“You’re in deep shit now, bro.” Benry goaded as Gordon struggled to keep his footing.
“So help me!” Gordon barked.
“Nah, I think this is probably your fault.”
Gordon stepped off a panel that began to spin, landing on one positioned shockingly even. He let out a tense breath and looked for anywhere to go from there, but the whole room was out of control. He watched as several panels behind him broke off altogether, rapidly disappearing into the darkness. He barely had a moment to be grateful he hadn’t been standing there, however, before something large hit him square in the chest. He had no hope of maintaining his balance—he was propelled directly off his safe panel and into the cavernous pit below.
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ADHD and Mental Health Stuff
The fun part about being ADHD is that when you try to sit down and write about being ADHD and mental health stuff, you get distracted and keep putting it off. Regardless, I've wanted to talk about mental health issues and ADHD for a while, so HERE'S A NICE RAMBLY, PROBABLY INCOHERENTLY ORGANIZED, AND LONG WORDED PIECE FOR YA TO READ NOW.
(Tagging @neurodiversitysci cause that site is a damn good read for folks like us)
The human brain is weird, and often our own worst enemy. Mood swings, crashes, it hits us all differently. Not always a whole lot one can do when the world and emotions decide to plant themselves right on your head. That fun part of the human brain that doesn't let us handle things the way we wish we could deal. Still, in the end, Brave heart. If you can find the strength to get through this life in something, grab it and don't let go.
Some of us choose to express our issues more openly, others may internalize. Sometimes internalizing isn't always the worst idea, but you got to be really careful when doing it. Know the limits of what your body and morale can take from it. it can turn self-damaging real easily, and that won't do you any good. One thing to remember, we're all insane. Gotta be to get through this shit. We CAN'T be sane. Have you seen all the stuff we gotta go through? It only makes sense we're gonna break and lose it at times. The trick is finding what part of insanity works in our favor.
Me? I retreat to fantasies in my head a lot, and I know that can't be entirely healthy. One of the reasons I latch onto cartoons, fantasy, and heroes so easily is the escape. For however long it's running I don't gotta deal with the problem. Doesn't help solve it, but will give a bit of buffer time to maybe try and figure out a new approach, steady the nerves.
"Trey, why the hell do you have Paw Patrol figures on your shelf, that show is for little kids?" Because the biggest concern in that show is 'Will Mayor Humdinger steal all the prizes from the carnival?!' and after dealing with people who think the world is ending if their door has the tiniest, easily repairable scratch on it, you NEED simplicity. You need to be able to give your brain something it can decompress on. Cartoons work for me. Hell that Mr. Rogers Marathon last month was Relax-o-Vision for me. Your mileage will vary.
There's something I picked up, from the original Twin Peaks of all places, that has actually helped me a lot. Once a day, do something just for you. Doesn't have to be big. A snack that you like, a tv program, a cup of coffee, 15 minutes to read a book or story. Just something that is entirely selfish for yourself. It can be a challenge to get yourself into the habit, but oh so worth it. For me, I try to read at least 4 pages of a book during my lunch hour at work. Dealing with ADHD in my adult life still? Not always a simple task. But, small steps get you there.
There's a fear some have talked to me about with ADHD that sometimes your mind can feel like it is slipping, knowledge leaving you, and that you're going to get dumber as you get older. But you're not going to get dumber, you're not going to be brain dead. Anyone who tells you that happens is a damn liar.
The thing about ADHD is that it isn't just a lack of focus, it's the hyper focus that makes people think you're unfocussed. latching onto something almost obsessively. You have to train yourself to deal with it, and I really wish i could describe how to do that better, but I'm not sure how I wound up doing it without my meds sometimes myself. With work? Try to find a work environment that you can turn the side-effects to your advantage. I work retail, have most of my life now. I turned my sudden need to move and walk into excuses to patrol the store grounds, hit up other departments to see what is happening in them and general meandering that still looks like I'm busy.
The hyper focus? Don't fight it, ride it out. Trying to deny it will make it worse. Listen to that song for 6 hours nonstop. Watch that show til you get tired of it. Search for that collector's piece to finish your set BUT COLLECT RESPONSIBLY. I've had the song Lake Shore Drive on loop for 40 minutes as I type this, as an example.
I would draw in class, or work on homework for other classes while taking notes for the one I was in. Drove my teachers insane. Are you able to multitask with it? Still keep your grades up while doodling? And when i say that, I mean C+ - B+ area are totally acceptable grades. If so, then rock and roll with the doodling. Just, you know, always be ready in case you get called on. There's wonderful smug moments if a teacher calls on you to solve something cause they think you're not paying attention and you grand slam that shit.
Your brain is going to be running 500MPH, all the time. It's going to cycle from Point A to point R, back to point A all day. And there's going to be annoying little voices in your head telling you dumb shit to make you feel bad. Those little voices in your head, give them a face, a sound, something you can then imagine telling to shut the hell up, or punch in the face.
One of the most reoccurring one is going to be: "I really need to discuss this but what if that makes them turn against me in some form." That is the annoying bastard voice that will always haunt you. Even with your closest most trusted friends, IT WILL NOT LEAVE. That is especially annoying when you work retail and need to bring something to your boss' attention! What I have found helps with that?
When you do start talking, don't apologize like "Sorry for taking up your time/being annoying/ect." Try to remove sorry from your vocabulary and replace it with "Thanks for letting me talk about this/giving me a moment to talk/ect." Again, something that takes practice, but can help quite a bit. It can also trick the brain into not feeling bad about the discussion. The Sorries will trigger an instinctive "I'm being a problem." But the thanks yous help the brain go "Yeah, they were ok with this!"
And don't let folks shame you for your interests in comics, tv, and books. EVER. We live in an age were folks will go out of their way to find people who share those interests now. WE HAVE FANDOMS, CONVENTIONS, ENTIRE SECTIONS OF THE INTERNET devoted to stuff we love. When it comes to entertainment, age demographics are for Producers and Ad Execs to worry about, not you. See above with me enjoying cartoons meant for younger ages.
(As a bonus, this also means I have on many occassions been able to help confused parents/grandparents in Target/ToysRUs when i walk by and hear them trying to figure out who the hell their kid likes in a tv show. They think I work there. HA)
C.S. Lewis used to talk about how he hid that he loved reading fairy tales growing up out of fear of what folks thought. And as he got older, he just stopped caring.
"Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
Do you know how much reading that impacted my life? How much of a realizing of "I'm not alone in this?" that was?
That shit right there helped me realize that there is no one definition for what being a Good Adult means. Cause in the end, there is no such thing as the Good Adult we're told about growing up. We are all, at most, mediocre adults. We win, we fail, we get frustrated, we move forward. There is not a single person out there reading this that has been a Good Adult. At most, they've learned to fake it really well, and that's an awesome skill to learn.
How do I end this? Really I'm not sure how to sum this up, because everytime I try I keep getting distracted by other things.
So... I'll simply say: For those of you out there thinking you're the only one dealing with weird shit in your head, you're not alone. You really are not alone, a lot of us are just scared of talking about it cause that's how people conditioned us, whether they meant to or not. But there's going to be those of us, like myself, my sister, and others who are going to be, "YO, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS WEIRD SHIT!" You just gotta find us. We're here to help.
#ADHD#mental health#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#long posts#add#I grew up with this shit
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The Spy Who Wowed Me
“Well, I'll bet money she's going to resent it, and I'm missing the James Bond marathon on TNT.”
Kevin Spacey’s unforgettable character Lester Burnham uttered the above words to his domineering wife while driving to their daughter’s cheer routine. “American Beauty” is a masterpiece for numerous reasons, but when I originally saw the film in the theater this outstanding line really hit home. Like Lester, when Bond marathons were on television, I was glued to the couch.
Bond marathons were fixtures on TBS and TNT at least once a year when I was a teen. Since this was before the advent of the DVR, bathroom breaks and snack retrievals were restricted to commercial time only. It didn’t matter that I had seen “Diamonds Are Forever” 20 times already; when it was on, I watched, even if it meant staying up late on a school night.
My older sister would mercilessly tease me during my binges and also mock the movies – the “same thing happens in every one” so to her they were “stupid.” I’d curse her under my breath as she passed through the living room only because uttering a comeback would cause me to miss further lines and she had already ruined enough.
Even before I became a James Bond fanatic I can specifically remember the first time I saw a Bond film. I was probably around 5-years-old and came across “A View to a Kill” on HBO while channel surfing, specifically the scene when Bond is caught in the building fire. He then steals a fire engine and a chase ensues. Transfixed, I eagerly watched the rest of the film.
Although it’s viewed as one of Moore’s (and the franchise’s) worst, “A View to a Kill” is still my favorite. I know it’s not the best (“Thunderball” and “Live and Let Die” are far superior), but it was my first time with Bond (something countless women have experienced), it has a very entertaining opening sequence (improvised snowboarding set to The Beach Boys), possesses the absolute best theme courtesy of Duran Duran, has one of the most stunning Bond girls (Tanya Roberts), centers around a superb villain (Christopher Walken), and it costars Grace Jones as May Day! Plus, it featured my preferred James Bond actor, Roger Moore.
While the consensus may be that the original Bond, Sean Connery, is the best, I’ve always argued in Moore’s defense when the discussion comes up, and as any man knows, the debate frequently arises.
From 1973 to 1985, Roger Moore played 007 in seven films, the most of any Bond actor (since 1983’s “Never Say Never Again” doesn’t count as a genuine installment), and “Live and Let Die,” “The Man with the Golden Gun,” “The Spy Who Loved Me,” “Moonraker,” “For Your Eyes Only,” “Octopussy,” and “A View to a Kill” have always appealed to me the most out of the 24 Bond films. Call me crazy, but I rather enjoy the way Moore reinvented the role Connery originated by mixing in small doses of humor.
Though it worked for Moore, it failed miserably for Pierce Brosnan. After Timothy Dalton’s return to a serious tone with his two films, which are both ridiculously underappreciated, Brosnan tried to resurrect Moore’s laidback approach with disastrous results. “GoldenEye” gets a pass, mostly because of the epic Nintendo 64 game, but the next installments are atrocious. Thankfully, Daniel Craig’s gritty tenure as Bond has returned the franchise to glory.
Considering how it turned out for Brosnan, it’s safe to say the only actor who perfected playing the secret agent in a suave and playful manner was Sir Roger Moore (knighted in 2003 for his humanitarian work). Sadly, Moore lost a brief battle with cancer on May 23 at the age of 89.
Fellow Bond men Connery, George Lazenby (the worst Bond but “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” is awesome), Dalton, Brosnan and Craig have all paid their respects to Moore. Craig tweeted, “Nobody does it better,” while Connery stated, "I was very sad to hear of Roger's passing. We had an unusually long relationship, by Hollywood standards, that was filled with jokes and laughter. I will miss him."
To honor my favorite 007, I have compiled a list of some of his most memorable Bond moments. So, let’s all raise a shaken martini to Moore, Roger Moore.
Best Kill: Bond finally gets revenge on Blofeld for murdering his wife by dropping the villain down a smokestack at the beginning of “For Your Eyes Only.”
Best Double Entendre: “I believe he’s attempting re-entry, sir,” explains eyewitness Q in “Moonraker.”
Best Gadget: The shark-inflating pellet that blows up Mr. Big in “Live and Let Die.”
Best Car: Lotus submarine from the “The Spy Who Loved Me” of course.
Best Fight: The surprise yo-yo saw attack in “Octopussy” that disrupted cuddle time with gorgeous Maud Adams.
Best Chase: Outmaneuvering henchmen and Sheriff J.W. Pepper via speedboat in “Live and Let Die.”
Best Escape: Running across the backs of alligators in “Live and Let Die.”
Most Thrilling Sequence: Scaling the mountain in “For Your Eyes Only.”
Best Bond Girl/Teammate: Working with Agent Triple X (Barbara Bach) in “The Spy Who Loved Me.”
#Roger Moore#james bond#daniel craig#Pierce Brosnan#sean connery#timothy dalton#george lazenby#lester burnham#007
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Mr. Steal Yo Snacks 👓👔
#feat my poorly painted nails#but fuck i got a new suit today and it looks tight as fuck on me#kaptainandy's log#transguy#transboy#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbt stuff#ftm#my face
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astricks r the ones i've said ok. btw this is like a rlly agressive @shitwesaid post ok
*Ya know what's peculiar abt me? I have superior reflexes. That's a good thing. Oh noo! My little flower got stuck under there!1! "It doesn't matter if ur standing, if this bus starts barrel rolling-" *weird noises* Can u pLEASE stOp being gAy???! Hipitty hopitty im about to do this. NOooo hipitty hopitty I'm abt to do this. YeASSSs hipitty hopitty y r u talking to me. It's very masculine to catch an Apple Hipitty hopitty whY ARE U ON OUR PROPERTY There's a ghost in Narnia Ms. Ma'am? No, that's wrong. Lemme snAtch ur wEAVE I seE u Mr. Sun. I harassed U but that's not important. *Get outa here ya fUckin idiOt. And it was just standing over my fucking bed. Watching me sleep. Wut r those hearts for? Oh it's definitely nOt an E-thot thing...! Ms. Fuckin. Netter. Bitch. Whatcha doin? *Tired. Sneaky sneaky sneaky. No. Oof. It's a car. *Got em. I DONT UNDERSTAND, WHY R U BLACK????1!?!1?!?!1!? Hold on. I just got a DM. *singing* I'm gonna get E Coli. I'm gonna get E Coli. GET OVER HERE RIGHT-- *Someone is stEaling my socks. Y do we keep switching? Y don't u shut ur mouth. I saw u harass that other one. I saw it ALL. Hi Susie, hi Zach!! I'm ZaCh. That one PokemEN GAME *excessive laughter* ITS POKEMOOONNN *smacks leg* Thighs. *spRINTS* Ohhhh! Wut? Burger King!!! No- Where is this person, I would like to VANQUISH THEM. GET OOFED. OH SHIT I JUST GOT RAPED BITCH BITCH BITCH WHAT THE FRICK THEYRE BISCUITS THEYRE CRACKERS THEYRE COOKIES *BIOLOGY PUNS R FUNNY GUYS omfg that's the nerdiest thing I have ever said wtf. Shoes r for bitches. Bitch y?? I'm your MOTHER And this cats name, is Bread. *Umm. That has been killed. By Satan. We don't eat ded apples here. Oh it's Friday we cAn be on our phones! *Anguished screaming* I think I'm ready to-FUCK *U don't have to be sexy to be emotional. *Wut the fffUCK DO U HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST BROWN THINGS And we played fUCKING KAHOOT U BETTER GET UR CHILD SELF BACK OVER HERE That's pretty broken. A ShEEP! That's a bull. *I have a giant glass bottle in my pocket. *looking @ cows* is that a...camel??? That. Was beautiful. ThIS IS OUR TREE. *looks @ a snake skin; discusted* ooh is that a turtle skin??! No. It's a snake skin. *Sssssuck it. I got u something betterrrr. Potato chips and baconnnnn. I'm not rlly an adidas guy, I try nOt to buy it. They ate it. They actually ate it. They actually put the paper in their mouth. It looked like u were snorting cocaine. Ya know wut else ain't real? *Ur mental stability. *appalled silence* It tastes like Fortnite!!! Y is that American talking. TAKE IT UR AMERICAN Martha is Gucci. MY LOCKET I just want to take my test. *Yes mAAM 'Yeas ma'am' wut tf is that. Did u find ur dad *solemn* no. *The devil is just Jesus on Opposite Day. Hold on, I'm getting inspiration. *Hipitty hoppity fuck off. *aggressively dies* I say too many random things in that class. *I love this class. I'm glad u can understand that. *T SERIES AND PEWDIEPIE HAVE BEEN FEUDING SINCE 2011????!1!?!?1!?!?! WUT THE FUCK. *God fucking dammit. Do u smELL wut the rock is cookin???? I smell victory. *Who is this cLOWN *HSU is basically that vine where he goes 'what the fuck. Is this aLLOWED??!' Like. Not gonna lie. *light laughter* *Skeet. Do u say that all the time *Yea Uh- *SKEET *Step one to tailgating. Don't do it. Bc. Ur a rookie. And u can't tailgate yet. This is how I fight. *face plants* Ur being rude. No ur being rude. *EVERYBODYS BEING NICE. Nobody's switching to chevy gUYS. The mACarana. *Hush ur mouth. *gaspppp* U SAID A BAD WORD Look at that man. we're gonna be here for soooooooooo long. *slams fist on table* I DEMAND A REFUND. *no. *well, now i'm mad. u facking idiot *hEy. that's kind of assault. *hey, that's kind of assault to children. *presses button* meEp *makeup is for dweebs *we're gonna be expelled from Europe i feel like a fleshling, a flesh bag, a bag of flesh i won by SEveral m & ms. yes, i am standing as well. watch it peck me bc i look like a snAck *looks at boat* that's a big bus. *excessive laughter* *abt to cry* someone just told me fourrrr *drops phone* oW WHAT THE FUNCTION *appalled silence* *says the pessimistic optimist. *ya know that feeling when u have too many memes on ur phone **screaming* where are all my memes @ there's some pretty thiccccc fish in this photo *imma go hide...in a trash can *hey guys guess wut i hate ppl *hey guys guess wut i hate meself i lack a banana like, u eat the whole human my eyes smell like sugar cake now i'm crying *so, ya know, that's cool *pockeeeetttssss dr pepper says--STOP DOING THAT ITS NOT GOOD FOR UR HEALTH y not just ask for nickels...on the dime some things in this world r hot. and some r cold. and some r both. the moment u realize...strawberries r not bananas *u guys r mOcking science and it's very annoying. science is numbers. lots and lots of numbers. oh wait that's math. i ate air it was pretty nice there's nothing wrong with me *drops everything* ur dumber that a fourth grader-a THIRD GRADER *i am most likely going to hate myself forever if i do anything. *i'm pRoUd to bE aN iDiOt *i need to start using my eyes. *u mustn't be rude. *mOVE oh my gOd wuts going On hEre??! *that feeling when-when ur phones @-@ only-12%...heh heh. i identify as a lima bean and i deMAND MY OWN BATHROOM team drinking. is. bad. i'M LoOkiNG aT MemES LeAvE Me aLoNe *i feel like drinking 2 cans of f•ing red bull i'm seeking refuge. *well i'm not giving u any so get out. wut if u jumped out of a plane and ur parachute didn't work? uh- i'd be alive and u would be ded. hitler is a cowboy i'll take over this whole town. KILL ALL THE COWS. stop being ded. okay, trees pee *hey guess wut i pretend i'm better than everyone to boost my self esteem *i'm an ABsolute disAster u can see for MINUTES *im allergic to bear pollen. purple strawberries. strawberries that r purple. that's like saying hitler was chinese. americans in europe *gasps* my sprAy wAtEr U BROKE MY CANNED WATER *drops into chair dramatically* i'm better than ALL of u. don't stand on statues. that's gay. then how much is a sip?????¿ *screams into water bottle* where's mom i need batteries i'm telling mom My CoNtRoLeRs ArEnT wOrKiNg *stares at wells fargo* i think i was born there. *tHATS WELLS FARGO *laughs* *THATS A BANK i identify as a baked potato. **laughs hysterically* i dunno it just came into my head. i sWEar this guy just walked in here with a cart full of buc-ees ice. how do u like ur classes yeah *hand gel bubbles r sO cool My new motto is: if you can't be ridiculously amazing, just be ridiculous this is my school bus and i'm driving this people. my watch is a banana *looks @ empty wrist* it's half past freckle! i'm not a dufus i'm an Evan. U STOLE MY PENCIL SHARPENER sHUT UP there's so much spaghetti on the floor--SOMEBODY TOUCHED MY SPAGET *ayyyeee y'all know it's meeeE y'all need to fUCKIN MOVE i can't fuckin walk *ur a disgrace. no i'm an evan david ricardo feels sexy what r u a nerd 9? ooOh thAts gonna take a minute. yee honk a doodle doo! u frickin dweeb u nub Hello *extreme uncomfortableness* *i'm rlly bad @ swallowing justice. *look @ all those DiSrAcTiOnS *at least i wasn't weird and licked them or sm *idek where that came from i evaporated butter i can evaporate butter what's UR superpower i'm t posing ur sandwich ima god. how can u hate a decade. yo imma bout to get full out naked rn. *ANOTHER FIRE that's when it started--oh my jEEZ cLAP NOISES *skeety yeety *ooh i appeared here what is that. **sneezes* woO idk wUt that was but it felt goOd. *thats surprisingly smooth for a circle. wtf.
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