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i-heart-hxh · 8 months

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So, a few days ago I found this post on Reddit from 2 years ago (that sadly barely got any attention at the time) that sheds a ton of light on the separation scene between Gon and Killua, and my mind is blown! I've known for years that there was some sort of Togashi "coding" in the dialogue and it was always like I could get halfway to understanding, but this post gives the rest of the puzzle pieces that I was missing, and ties into other scenes that I was uncertain about the meaning of as well. It's heartbreaking, but also hopeful for their future! I had to share it with you all. Please read it!

The original Reddit post has been deleted, but here is a link to the author's Reddit profile. (I received permission from the original author to post this here.)

In-Depth analysis on the Hidden Reasons behind Gon & Killua's separation scene (ep 147) Why Gon is 'Number 2'

The translations across the separation scene in both manga (chp 338) and the anime (ep 147, 2011) have some shortfalls. These dialogues are vital for understanding even the first layer of reasons behind this separation.

REASONS FOR KILLUA'S DELICATELY PLANNED SEPARATION

1. WHEN -

There are very important reasons why Killua picked a specific timing to tell Gon about Alluka. It was Killua's plan all along, to only tell Gon at a moment's notice, to make sure Gon won’t get time to ask any DETAILS. He is deliberately downplaying the seriousness of everything he’s been through to heal Gon, so it will have less impact on Gon, and at the same time, avoid Gon asking details. Prior to healing Gon, Killua specifically asked Morel and Leorio to promise not to tell Gon that he saved him. After Gon was healed, there was a scene in the anime (ep 148) which showed the three spent a night together before reaching the World Tree. During that time, Killua still haven't said anything. It wasn't until the moment when they were literally saying the last goodbye, Killua casually brought up:

“Oh, by the way, this guy healed you."

I want to emphasis the word Killua used to address Alluka was “こいつ”. This is a very light and overly casual word used to address someone you know, and usually a playful guy friend (e.g. “This guy used to be my neighbour.” type of feeling). The manga and anime translation, “She’s the one that healed you,” did not clearly depict the intentional casualness.

2. WHAT was SAID -

If Killua just doesn’t want to burden Gon with guilt and responsibility, then why not just keep his mouth shut and say nothing? That’s because Killua found a better option than not telling Gon anything. Killua shifted the “priority of reasons” a bit, so the VERSION OF EVENTS he told Gon, was PRIORITIZED on Alluka’s rescue rather than healing Gon. This way, they will also get to THANK Gon, and put an emphasis on thanking Gon because Killua make it SEEMED like it was more important to rescue Alluka, that the INITIAL REASON for Killua to go home, was to rescue Alluka. Only AFTER Alluka was freed, they came to the hospital to heal Gon, out of convenience, since only Alluka has the ability to do so, and since she’s now outside. The MAIN motive for these past events has been delicately swapped around by Killua, so the focus switched to the rescue of Alluka, rather than healing Gon. Hence Alluka is “No. 1”, Gon is “No. 2”. Downplaying it so healing Gon was just a bonus convenience (ep 147, 19:12 to 19:51).

Killua then goes on another level to make this version of events seem even more realistic, by saying “….You owe me a lot now,” in a teasing and playful tone of voice. This is to again, downplay the seriousness of everything he’s been through, to comfort Gon that "Yes you owe me one now, but don’t you worry! I will make sure you pay it back okay?! Hehe!”

3. WHY -

The fight with Pitou allowed Killua to witness Gon's ultimately immature mind set when it comes to “repaying someone, and redeeming himself.” Kite lost an arm and his life to protect him. So Gon gave his life and was even more happy when Pitou took his arm too. Gon will always want to “match” what was sacrificed by another, by throwing away AT LEAST the same. Not “sacrificing”, but THROWING AWAY. It’s so immature, so dangerous, no one will be able to keep up with him. Killua was very confident with how much he could take, but even Killua himself is at limit. This ultimate baka!! (ep 136, 17:50 - 20:17)

If this is how far Gon will go for Kite, he can only imagine what Gon would go recklessly into if he knew the DETAILS. This is when Killua decided on a way to part with Gon the way they did, and to PROVIDE him a particular REASON.

“I’m prepared to spent the rest of my life protecting her.”

This is the reason Killua wants Gon to know, but NOT what he actually wants to do with his life. Although it’s true he feels responsible and genuinely wish to protect Alluka and Nanika, but it’s not what he ultimately WANTS to do. He NEEDS to protect Alluka, but he WANTS to spent his entire life by the side of a certain baka…

After the previous events, Killua was traumatized, especially when he saw Gon's twisted decaying arm. That was a breaking point for him, after that, the only thing that matters THE MOST for him is for Gon to be safe. He also realized that in order to protect this baka... it’s better if he keeps a distance for now, until he finds a solution to keep Alluka safe from Illumi and his family.

4. THE PARTING -

By planning this parting with Gon, Killua hopes Gon will become detached from him. And that time and distance will slowly render him less important to Gon. So if he was to die... (because Illumi is hunting them down) he did for Alluka, he did it for the vow to protect Alluka, not Gon. We knew Killua always plans ahead, and here, he plants this reason for Gon in the future so he won’t need to feel responsible if he was to die protecting Alluka (or die with Alluka while Illumi is hunting them). This is what’s going through Killua’s head:

“If I die, you’re not responsible for anything. You don’t owe me anything, so NEVER throw your life away again. My only one wish, is for you to be safe. So here I am. I’m parting ways with you... Because I SAID you are only ... No. 2 ... I SAID you are not the most important to me.. So don’t think of me as the most important to you too….”

This, is Killua’s eternal Devotion.

5. THE RESULT -

As a result of this deliberate planning by Killua,

Gon was made to believe:

While I was recovering in hospital Killua had to go home and rescue his sister

Alluka is such a cute sister and she can grant Killua any wish?!!! Wow…that’s one cool sister…

Well… no wonder Killua thinks his cool sister is more important than me, it’s only natural.

Looks like Killua finally found what he wants to do. He will enjoy traveling the world with such a cool sister, it will be so much fun. I should be happy for him, I can’t hold him here... I have to let him go…

The DETAILS omitted:

Gon was not recovering at all in the hospital. Killua RESORTED to USE Alluka in order to heal Gon.

Alluka’s blood stained dark past and the risks and uncertainty that still involves.

Baka Gon is always No. 1 !

Killua and Alluka are desperately trying to find a way to out of Illumi’s grasp. Illumi is hunting them down and trying to make Killua his puppet again. And this time it's not going to be just a needle in the head... Killua can feel it. And if things doesn’t work out, he will just kill Alluka.

These Reasons are the core of the separation. We have a song named “Reason”… aren’t the lyrics shedding a new layer of light now?

6. IMPORTANT WORDS ALLUKA USED TO FACILITATE A BETTER RELATIONSHIP AFTER REUNION -

Killua promised to “always be together” with Alluka.

But to this promise, Alluka’s response was always silent (episode 145, 3:32 to 4:19). She looked at Killua with deep thought. Because even in such a short amount of time, she realized Killua is doing all this to ALSO or MORE SO protect Gon. It was never just for her, it will never be just for her, and there will never be anyone more important than Gon for Killua. She’s moved by Killua’s devotion and resolve, and she can also feel his sadness…

If, the situation was different, if Gon was never there to begin with, and Killua just happened to solely come to Alluka’s rescue, and then make a promise to stay together with her forever, Alluka’s natural reaction will be melting with happiness, she’d be crying tears of joy, and hugging Killua. But in this instance, she was composed, she sensed her brother’s deep seriousness and sadness. That’s why later on, she reassured the two at parting, that they will see each other again, without disclosing Killua’s true REASONS.

The Exacted words Alluka used (Manga chpt 338, 2011 anime epi 147)

a. Manga translation: “I’m going to HUG my brother for a while and then I will LET HIM GO.”

b. Better translation: “I’m going to have my brother all to myself for a while and then I will let him free.”

c. The exacted phrase: “I’m going to Monopolise my brother Exclusively for a period of time, then I will Release him.”

独り占 (Monopolise Exclusively)

Very strong characters with Explicit meaning. Have it all to oneself. Same characters and meaning used in Chinese as well. （独占）

解放 (Release)

This is much more formal and serious than “let go”. It implies the subject was initially bound/locked/restricted. Also the same characters and meaning used in Chinese.

Alluka employed these words to imply a forceful lead in this “deal” of owning Killua exclusively. These words have an underlying tone of enslavement.

Why? Because Alluka knows, the harder she IMPOSES herself on Killua during their time together, the more effective it would be on the easing of Killua’s own guilt.

Killua felt immensely guilty.

No one will enjoy a relationship bound by guilt.

Alluka knows clearly that part of her brother’s promise, was formed with guilt, from using her and Nanika, that he was having fun with Gon while Alluka was literally forgotten. Although it's true that this was largely due to Illumi's manipulation, but the fact that he did just left her in the basement all this time was both unacceptable and unforgivable to Killua himself (episode 138, 13:28).

Therefore apart from protecting Gon, this was the other important reason for this separation. Almost as if Killua has accepted this as a befitting price to pay in order to redeem himself as a brother.

Alluka and Nanika have no condition nor demand in return for Killua’s requests. But Killua imposed a price on himself for having Gon healed. Out of guilt. Alluka knows, Nanika knows. That’s why Alluka used the word 解放 (release), because it will make Killua feel better, that he has complied with her ‘enslavement’, so when the time comes, Killua will be able to release HIMSELF from guilt, and go back to Gon, properly. Alluka loves her brother, and she’s prepared to help him towards a better relationship with Gon in the future, by helping him to eliminating this chain of guilt.

lol Alluka totally ships Gon and Killua ! XD

Thank you for reading.

#hunter x hunter #hxh #killugon #gonkillu #gon #killua #alluka #meta #PLEASE read this post if you have lingering questions and confusion about the separation!#like most of us do!#I think it's incredibly helpful and explains so much #having this makes a big difference to me in how I interpret the meaning and reasons for the separation #and what Togashi did and did not tell us with it

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lovingmattysposts · 5 months

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You dont know me 4

P1 P2 P3 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17 P18 P19 P20 P21 P22 P23 P24 P25 P26 P27 P28 P29 P30 P31 P32

pairing: y/n and chris sturniolo

summary: you and Chris came from two different sides of the spectrum when it came to the social scale. You had the perfect life, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect parents, but when you start to peal back that layers things got messy. Your life was set and stone, your future was set and stone. That was until he comes and changes everything.

warnings: suggestive, cursing

chris pov

I didn't sleep. How could I fucking sleep? The way she looked up at me with those eyes. I should have just kissed her. I couldn't. I knew I couldn't. God, but the way she looked up at me like she was ready to risk everything. Her lips. They way she licked them. I cursed myself the whole way home. She was just high. That's what I kept telling myself. She didn't really want to kiss me. She probably woke up this morning regretting even alluding to the fact that she wanted to. I didn't. I woke up still angry at myself that I didn't.

She didn't want to be like that though. That's what she told me. She didn't want to be that girl who cheats on her boyfriend. She didn't want to be seen like that. She didn't want to see herself like that. So I wasn't going to make her see herself that way. We kissed once. One amazing, hot, gut wrenching, head spinning kiss. That was it. That's all it's ever going to be.

The tension was so thick, she had to have felt it too. It was suffocating me. I wish I wasn't so attracted to her. I wish I didn't think about how she would look if she was underneath me. How her head would be back into the pillow. The sounds she would make. How she would feel. The way her nails that she scaled across my arms would feel over my back as I-.

I had to stop. I'm literally in public.

"It's not fair! Coach can't do this to me! This is our regional qualifier! He knows he can do it without me on defense!" Nate yelled to me as we sat in class. I wasn't really listening. Not with the unholy thoughts going through my mind in this moment. God. Is it hot in here?

"Are you even listening?" Nate spat at me. I sat up in my chair and looked at him and nodded. He crossed his arms. "Yes I am. The coach benched you because you had too many penalties. Listen Nate, it's part of the rules. If he forgoes the rules for you, how is he suppose to enforces them on someone else when the same thing happens to them?" I asked leaning up raising my eyebrows. He huffed and leaned back.

"Since when do you care about rules?" He rolled his eyes. I shrugged. "I don't. I'm just telling you why this is happening to you" I said shaking my head. He slammed his hands on his desk. Jesus, he's dramatic. "You know he would never do this to Hastings! He has it out for me. I think Hastings pays him to play" He said shaking his head. I smiled and shook my head.

"Whether he does or doesn't. You're a better player Nate, and it's only for the first half" I said looking at him. He huffed and mumbled to himself. I rolled my eyes. "You're coming right?" he looking up at me. I looked up at him shaking my head profusely. He held his hands up. "You're my best friend, you have to come" He argued at me. I shook my head.

The bell rang and we grabbed our stuff as we made it out of the classroom and into the hallway. Nate ran up beside me. "You can't argue me on this. This could be the most important game of my life. I need you to be there" He said looking at me.

"I said no. It's three hours away" I said shaking my head. Nothing was going to convince me to go to this game. "And you say that about every game" I said looking at him. He shook his head. "Because every game is more important than the last! Please come, no one comes except for the coaches wife and kids, some of the parents, and the princess" He rolled his eyes.

I stopped and looked at him. "Y/n?" I asked looking at him. He pursed his lips and crossed his arms. "Yeah also known as Max's girlfriend, might I add" He said raising his eyebrows. I huffed. "Don't tell me you've got it in for princess over here" He said laughing at me. I glared at him. "Don't call her that" I said looking at him.

"What you don't want me to call her that because you started fucking Labraut over here?" He asked smiling. I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side of the hallway. "Would you keep your fucking voice down?" I spat at him. He looked at me with wide eyes. "You like her" He stated looking at me. I glared at him.

"Nate stop" I stared at him. He shook his head. "Whatever. Come, don't come, see if I get a fuck" He spat before turning and walking away. I sighed. I didn't mean to piss him off. I just don't know why he gets so bent out of shape about Y/n.

Whatever, I didn't have time for this. I turned to start walking the other way when I saw her. She was leaned against the locker talking to her friend. She smiled and squeezed her eyes shut laughing at whatever she said. I smiled looking at her. God, I can't be her friend.

Y/n pov

"Why won't you tell me about anything that happened?" Sydney asked leaning up against the lockers. I looked over at her crossing my arms. "I told you what happened, I went over there asked him to keep his mouth shut and I left. That was it" I lied right through my teeth. She raised her eyebrows.

I kept my game face. I didn't mention the drugs, the hand holding, or the almost-kiss. She didn't need to know about any of it. What Sydney doesn't know can't hurt her. I don't need her to be worrying about the fact that Chris and I were friends now. She would make a big drama out of it. That I don't need.

"Well did he say anything else?" She asked raising her eyebrows at me. I shook my head. "Nothing else. It's over let's both forget about it" I said looking at her. I needed her to drop this. She sighed. "Why did you choose him to kiss anyway? He's like a ghost, he barely even goes here I think" She laughed.

I clenched my jaw. I didn't like her talking down on Chris. There was no reason for it. She doesn't even know him, but I didn't need to defend him. I didn't want her to get suspicious of anything. Not that there was anything to be suspicious about anyway. We're friends that's all.

I shrugged.

"I don't know. I barely even know his name" I forced a laugh out of my mouth. All of the sudden as if on cue, the locker a few lockers down slammed shut. We both turned from the sound. I saw Chris looking back at me with a straight face for a second and then turn and walk off.

Fuck. He heard me.

I closed my eyes and sighed looking down. Great start off of a friendship. God, I'm a bitch. I grabbed the rest of my things out of my locker and slammed it shut, starting to walk after him.

"Y/n" Sydney said making me turn back around. She shook her head with a nervous look on her face. "What are you doing?" She whispered back loudly. It turned around and watched Chris turn the corner of the hallway. I turned back to Sydney, biting my lip. Fuck, what do I do? I tapped my foot on the ground.

"Hold on" I said quickly before darting off after Chris. I can't have him think I meant that. He can't think I meant that. I shook my head at myself as I moved around the rest of the people in the hallway. I whipped my head around, looking for any sign of him. No where. He disappeared. He's good at that. I bit my lip as I circled the hall. I stopped when I saw a door that led outside.

I turned my head side to side to see if anyone was looking before opening the door and walking out. I turned and saw Chris leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette. I sighed of relief as I walked up to him. He didn't look up at me as he took the cigarette out of his mouth.

"Hey" I breathed. He didn't respond, just looking out to the parking lot. I sighed. I set my bag down and leaned next to him. "Look I'm sorry, it's just Sydney she-" I stopped myself. This excuse makes me sound like an entitled bitch. I shook my head.

"I'm just sorry I shouldn't have said that" I said looking at him. He showed no emotion in his face. I licked my lips waiting for him to respond, but he didn't as he took another hit.

"I just don't want her asking questions" I said looking down. Still nothing. Silence. I tapped my foot on the pavement. Why wasn't he responding? Did he not care? Did I piss him off so bad he just wanted to forget the friendship completely? I couldn't have that. Fuck. I pushed his arm, he just looked down at me.

"Chris, I'm sorry" I said again. He just looked back forward. Silence. I sighed and looked down. Okay. I wasn't going to force him to speak to me. I get it, it was bitchy. I leaned down and grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder before walking back towards the door in defeat. I grabbed the handle when I stopped. I turned back around and walked forwards slightly.

"I know you Chris" I said looking at him. He didn't look at me. I set my bag back down. "I know your last name is Sturniolo and that you moved here halfway through sophomore year and I know that no one knows why." He looked over at me. Dropping the cigarette by his side.

"I know that Nate is the only person you talk to at this school, because I've never seen you with anyone else" I said shaking my head. "I know that you only take honors and ap classes because you're viciously smart for some reason. I know you used to play track and stopped because you got into a fist fight with the coach's son and that you go to every single one of Nate's games, because I see you there" I smiled shaking my head.

"I know you moved from Massachusetts because of your accent and I know you absolutely hate parties because you looked miserable at the last one and I know you only go because Nate wants you there and you go because you care about him" I breathed. "I know you're the most angry and hostile guy at this damn school, but only when people do something wrong not because you just like to beat up people for no reason." I laughed. He still stared at me.

"And I know that there's a heart buried somewhere down there because you're choosing to save my relationship and I can't understand why" I said shaking my head. He pursed his lips and looked down. I sighed and reached down for my bag.

"That's-" He breathed. I looked up at him, dropping my bag by my side. "Really fucking scary that you know all of that" He laughed lightly. I smiled at him. "I'm not creepy, I'm observant" I stated looking at him. His face fell into no emotion again, before sitting down against the wall.

I just blinked down at him. He sighed and looked at me before motioning next to him. I smiled and set down my bag before way to eagerly walking over him. I basically skipped, it was pathetic. I plopped down next to him and leaned my head against the wall.

He held his cigarette up to my face. I scrunched my nose and shook my head moving his hand away. He looked down at me, smiling. I smiled up at him. God, the tension. Why did it always have to be like this? Why couldn't I just sit with my friend, and not want to melt into his eyes and give him every single part of me?

He looked away from me. I played with my fingers as he blew smoke out his mouth. I looked over at him. "Why don't you do hockey?" I asked looking at him. He didn't look at me. "Take out your aggression on a puck instead of people?" I smiled looking down. He shrugged. "Not my thing" He mumbled. I nodded slowly.

"Plus Nate is better than me at it. It wouldn't be good for my ego" He said smiling down at me, making me smile at my hands. "I'm not that much of an angry person" He mumbled. I looked at him, and he looked at me. I furrowed my eyebrows. "I once saw you beat up Sam Wright for bumping into you in the hallway" I laughed. He smiled and shook his head.

"That was because he was talking bad about Nate's sister" He said shaking his head. "He was just asking for it when he bumped into me" He smiled. I nodded. Questions circled my mind about him. I wanted to know everything about him. I want to know what makes Chris, Chris. I probably shouldn't have but I started with the most obvious one.

"What made you move to Michigan?" I asked quietly. He stared forward. Silence fell between us. Thick, awful silence. I looked up at him when he didn't respond. He wasn't looking at me. his jaw was tight as he stared out onto the parking lot. I couldn't read the expression on his face. I hoped that I didn't overstep a boundary. The energy between us shifted into uncomfortable silence. I swallowed.

"What you didn't like kill someone or something did you?" I laughed attempting to lighten the mood between us. I hated whatever was going on right now. I should have just dropped it, seeing the hurt on his face when he looked at me.

I felt my heart drop in my stomach from his look. My eyebrows furrowed. He turned from me throwing the rest of his cigarette on the ground and standing up grabbing his bag roughly off the ground.

I just looked up at him as he marched towards the door.

"Chris" I said as he opened the door and let it slam behind him. I felt guilt wash over me. What did I say? I frowned and looked down at my feet. Why am I so naive sometimes? I stood up slowly, wiping my hands on my jeans and grabbing my bag off the ground, before walking back into the building. I turned and looked down both hallways, he was no where to be seen. God he's so good at that. I bit my lip as I walked to class.

I couldn't focus the rest of the day. Calculous, Biology, Health, nothing. I didn't pay attention to a single thing that the teacher went on and on about. All I could think about was the look on Chris's face. Like I had insulted him, and I didn't even know what I said. I know he couldn't possibly have killed someone, so what was it? My mind raced all day. I needed to talk to him, to apologize for whatever I did.

I couldn't lose him. In one way or another, I couldn't lose him.

The final bell rang and I quickly got up. Maybe I could find him in the hallway. I walked out of the classroom and saw a storm of people. I bit my lip as I looked from side to side. I hate that I was always trying to hunt him down and that he was always hiding. I wanted to cry. What did I do? I looked down at my feet as I felt Max walk up to me.

He was complaining again about hockey practice. How coach 'always made him doe extra reps'. Only because you're the best babe, is what I would normally have said if the thought of Chris being angry with me wasn't eating me alive.

I just looked up and nodded as we walked out of the school and into the parking lot. I still glanced up to see if I could spot Chris. Nothing. I gave up hope completely before hearing my name being called.

"Labraut!"

I turned around from the loudness of the voice that was calling my name. Max turned with me. I felt my heart beat quicken and panic run up my neck as I saw Nate walking up to us. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I couldn't speak my throat ran dry. I couldn't even move my feet they were planted into the ground as he walked up to us.

"What the fuck did you say to him?" Nate said walking up to me. Max stepped in from of me and pushed me behind him. My turned red as I stared at him. "Back up Doe" Max yelled back at him. I just looked at him with a horrified look on my face. Nate didn't look at Max, his eyes were planted on me. I swallowed.

"I don't know" I said quietly. He glared at me. "Look, I know you're some stuck up rich prick, who thinks she can do whatever she wants and say whatever she wants. Hate to break it to you princess. That's not the case" He said looking at me. A crowd had stopped around us briefly in the parking lot. I hate that this was drawing attention, but not as much as this made my stomach drop thinking about how I had hurt Chris.

Max shoved Nate back. "You don't get to talk to my girlfriend like that" Max said towering over Nate. Nate glared up at him before smiling silently. Please Nate. Please don't.

"I'd stay out of this one if I were you Hastings" He smiled looking at him and then me. I looked at him before closing my eyes and looking down. Nate pushed Max back before backing away.

Nate looked over at me and scoffed shaking his head and walking away. My heart was beating out of my chest. Nate could have blow my whole life up over this, and he didn't. He screamed at me, yes. But he didn't say anything. I guess Chris was right, he wasn't going to say anything.

I looked down at my feet. Max shook his head before turning over to me. "What was that about?" He asked looking down at me. I looked up over towards the direction of where Nate walked. Chris was now with him. Chris was shaking his head as Nate talked to him and then they both walked away.

"I have no idea" I whispered with a straight face.

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#matt sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #nicolas sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

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denaphoenix · 5 months

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Hazbin Hotel - the first two episodes, but only how it made me feel about the characters without spoiling any plot.

Angel - I’m still in love with Angel. He’s a living, breathing closed door, layers upon layers of not himself while also seemingly having no filter - and the subtlety of letting little tiny glimpses of what’s underneath show is awesome.

Vaggie - Vaggie is amazing. She’s got so much heart and cynicism, and it’s more well-balanced than I’ve ever seen it in fanfiction. Especially digging her vibes with Angel because she’s not really antagonising him, and I’ve got a feeling that underneath it all, she’s digging him just because he says the things she’s sometimes thinking, and then she doesn’t have to say it, and can instead tease Angel for having said it, because all in all she knows that whatever’s being said will fall on deaf ears anyways. (all of that mostly being conveyed in vibes) Also, who wouldn’t revel in annoying Angel Dust? He’s annoying after all!

Charlie - Still Charlie. I don’t think she’s entirely getting it. Any of the it. Another super layered performance that gives off major toxic positivity mixed in with the non-toxic normal positivity. I feel like she might be getting there, but not before something blows up in her face worse than it’s already blowing up in her face. I just really want to take her aside and slap her - in a good way. She’s just darling.

Alastor - literally screaming. He’s delicious. He’s just - a presence. Personified chaos, and just barely scraping that uncanny every second he’s there. Love how he just ignores everything he’s not interested in addressing, and seems to genuinely be standing above everything. Unphased, and easily agreeing when presented with arguments, while also never seeming like he’s losing in any exchange. Nothing’s personal for him, I feel like, and I dig that. He’s always either “ok fair”, “ok, fair, but” or “sorry to disappoint” - those are the three modes and I just want to be half as classy as him. Or at least half as unhinged.

Husk - he’s… there. The first two episodes gave me just enough of him to kinda get me settled with the new voice, and other than that, all he’s offering are Husk vibes - which are no-nonsense, and uninterested to the max. He’s doing things, sure, but it always has the vibe of him only doing them because walking away would have just been too much effort. Can’t wait for his no-nonsense to actually contribute to things.

Nifty - I am obsessed with Niffty. Loved her before, and now that we’re getting more actual character development, boy am I here for it. She’s got a character, and the character is single-minded, trope-based, obsession. And I’m here for it.

Sir Pentious - amazing voice acting, and Pent just continues to be so FUN. I’m pretty sure he’s got about one brain cell, and the results of that give me life.

Adam - ok, I feel like I need to be spoiling this, because he himself said it best. He’s quite literally “the original dick”, and I don’t mean it in the way he seems to see it. There, I said it. He’s making my skin crawl, and while I’m still on the fence with how he’s being voiced, the longer I think about it, the more I think that that was actually a smart move to balance out the ick with some ridiculousness so they can have him make his statements before everyone with a vagina switches off. So yeah, barely bearable, and I don’t know if I want him to be even that bearable, because he could otherwise be powerfully unbearable.

Lute - highly dislikeable girl, and in the best way possible. Heartless and uncaring, and deep in the rationalisation tunnel. I wanna hug her just to get the experience of getting pushed away.

Velvette - will take some serious getting used to, that one. Don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t this. I think what might have put me off was her voice being more… idk… cockney than expected? Or… deep? Or… assertive? Or…sane? Uhm, I don’t know what it is, really, if I’m being honest. Pretty sure I will get around to digging her eventually though. Because the potential is SO there. So yeah, kind of looking forward to getting that to click.

Valentino - currently unlocking a new tier of hating Valentino - the “I do not understand his vibes” tier, which is very much interlinked with the realisation that I do not see whatever the casting team must have seen in Valentino’s voice actor. Whatever they were going for, I don’t think they got there. I don’t even like to hate him… he’s just - taking me out of the story with his line delivery and fucking with my mind in a non-good way.

Vox - Vox is the complete opposite to Val in terms of my feelings - I love, love LOVE Vox. He’s absolutely awesome, and I just want MORE of him. The voice acting’s got so much depth. He’s bringing the sleazy, and the despicable, but also the deeply HUMAN underneath it all - which just makes his scenes with Val all the more jarring.

Katie Killjoy - yeah, she’s just Bryce Tankthrust in hell. A tad underwhelming, but the meta’s funny, so I’ll certainly be able to deal.

All in all, it was a solid two episodes, and the music was banging, so I'm still aboard the hype train.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #first two episodes #has it already been 7 years?

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dreamlandforever · 9 months

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@writersmonth Prompt: Day 22 - Sunscreen

Fandom: Teen Wolf | Sterek WC: 800

AO3

XXII. Sunscreen |

“Derek, why does our son look like he has the same skin condition as Lord Voldemort?” Stiles asks carefully, holding Eli by the shoulders so Derek can see him.

“I have no clue what you are talking about.” Derek says simply, getting a few cold drinks out of the cooler to hand to Boyd and Jackson, sitting next to him on the beach chairs. The two take the drinks gratefully, but completely ignore whatever is going on.

“Derek.” Stiles says again, too calmly to be anything good. “Look at our son.”

Derek turned to the two of them, first at his son, and then at Stiles, as if to prove there was nothing wrong.

Stiles sighed, but turned around. “Lydia! Can you come here for a moment, please?”

Derek raised an eyebrow at him, but Stiles stared back at him. “I would’ve called Isaac, but he’s afraid of you now, congratulations.” Derek smiled at that. It was about damn time his betas were more afraid of him than they were of his husband. He knew it was momentarily, because Isaac had accidentally thrown the volleyball too hard at Stiles and he now had a black eye, and Derek hadn’t exactly reacted in the calmest of ways. No physical violence, because Derek had actually worked on becoming a good Alpha and he wasn’t about to throw everything away, but he might have actually yelled at Isaac. He caught himself before it became a tirade, but still. Maybe he shouldn’t be proud after all.

“Your kid looks ridiculous.” Lydia said as soon as she was within hearing distance, without Stiles actually having to prod.

“He’s protected.” Derek countered.

“Derek. My love. My sun. There’s so much sunscreen on Eli that I can’t even grab him without him slipping out of my hold.” Stiles explained. As if to demonstrate, he tried to grab Eli’s wrist, but the boy’s hand simply slipped off.

“We don’t know if he’s a werewolf yet, Stiles, we need to protect him from the sun.” Derek countered.

Stiles opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it again without saying a thing.

“Okay, I’ll be in sunscreen duty.” Lydia said, using her towel to hold onto Eli’s hand, who so far had only stayed where his Dad had told him to. He wasn’t sure how to move when he had so much cream all around him. “Come on, buddy, we’re going to get all the excess off and then you can get in the water. Uncle Isaac and Aunt Erica are playing shark, and I’m sure you can beat them both.”

Eli nodded at his aunt, but still didn’t move. Lydia sighed loudly, shooting a glare at Derek, before kneeling by Eli to wipe the excess off right there, before applying a normal, thin layer all over the kid. It seemed to break the spell, and Eli was walking towards the water again, Lydia following close behind and pointing him towards the rest of the Pack.

“Babe. He’s a child. You broke him. You literally broke him. He came to find me standing like a starfish and just looked at me. Malia laughed so hard I’m pretty sure she peed, and Eli just stared at me.”

“Fine, maybe I overdid it.” Derek relented.

“He was white. Not pale like me. White. Actually white.” Derek just nodded.

“I’ll hold back.”

“Thank you, babe. I will make sure he gets a retouch at least every three hours, okay? He’ll be fine.” Stiles assured him, and Derek nodded, grabbing Stiles’ hand to pull him against his chest.

“Are you wearing sunscreen?” Derek asked kindly, pressing a kiss against his husband’s forehead.

“A perfectly normal amount, Der. I will retouch every time Eli does.” He promised, placing a kiss of his own on Derek’s nose. “Now, if you excuse me, I have to go make sure our two year-old doesn’t drown anyone of this Pack.” Stiles said, walking towards the water as well, before stopping mid-step. “Actually, anyone in general. He’s not allowed to drown anyone at all.” He said, seemingly to himself, before he resumed walking.

“Thank you, love.” Derek called after him, and Stiles waved at him in acknowledgement.

“Pay up.” Boyd said, extending his hand at Jackson.

“I don’t have my wallet in my swimsuit, man. But, yeah, whatever, I’ll Venmo you.” Jackson said, grabbing his phone to do just that.

Before Derek could even ask, Boyd explained, “Jackson here thought Stiles would be overprotective of Eli. I have seen Stiles when Isaac or Scott get injured. So I bet on you.”

Derek rolled his eyes and sat down on his chair. “Stiles’ very protective of the kid.”

“He’s reasonably protective. You made us drink out of paper cups for months just in case Eli found a real glass or cup.” Jackson countered. “Actually, I don’t know why I bet on Stiles.”

“I told you” Boyd said happily, drinking the cold beer Derek had handed him.

“I hate you all.” Derek said simply, laying down under their big umbrella. His son was safe, and so was his husband. He could enjoy a few hours of rest.

#writersmonth2023 #writing prompt #jwritessometimes #sterek #teen wolf #eli hale

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sixthwater · 5 months

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Thoughts on Modern Vedic

I’m finally able to put it into words. It’s not so much the practice as it is the way it’s produced currently, in a way. I have a few people that I follow as I’ve said before that I enjoy their way of going about this system and it’s actually very interesting and they’re very intelligent as well as impressive, but the system just isn’t for me.

Unfortunately, the vast majority turns me off of that system and it’s similar to how astrologers in general can turn people off of astrology. Something that I’ve really liked with this system is the way it utilizes themes or stories? Blanking on the word- To go along with nakshatras, but it bleeds into other aspects and it treats people more like caricatures and not People. Which can circle right back into stereotyping.

Bharani people are inherently sexual so they will end up being promiscuous. I took it at face value before realizing that people started to see others through that lens and flatten them to two dimensional characteristics. Regardless of how you feel about her, let’s look at Selena Gomez because it’s the perfect example of this problem:

When in reality:

Even if the second photo is only slightly better while still repeating the same mistake, you can’t ignore the rampant bias going on in modern Vedic. And that’s what turns me off from it. It’s supposed to be more accurate but people look at a person’s three actions and go “I just KNOW they’re Jyeshta” while forgetting they have a whole chart to break down because, what? They were inquiring about how other people view them consistently enough?

I can’t help but get frustrated that so many layers of it are being forgotten and it’s the very very intricate layers of it. There are cons to it, as well as objective issues (saying a native is born to have unsuccessful marriages or a terrible life and there’s nothing they can do about it is…something), but there’s beauty to everything.

Let’s look back at Bharani cause, I’m a Bharani Moon. As you know, I’m Asexual. That’s cuts half of this nakshatra in half. But it really doesn’t lol. I believe that sensuality is forgotten in a world that media has put sexuality on a pedestal — not in a holier than thou way but it’s made people lose touch within themselves and within intimacy between their partners. So Sensuality is important to me in a way, I love seeing that in media. I also Love media that involves themes of death/rebirth/the afterlife. Seeing transformation and metaphors for it are wonderful even if no one really dies because literal death isn’t necessary. Not a special attribute but I will be insanely protective of women even if I just met them, you have to get through me first if you wanna fuck with them. However all of those other Bharani qualities I rarely see because it hides behind whatever you can sexualize within its nakshatra which is very boring to be honest. I know that’s the point but if that’s the case…okay.

So I believe that’s my issue here. Modern explanations or configurations are so full of bias that it makes it difficult for it’s pure form to come through and it waters down so much of what it has to offer, so that by the time anyone might find a good astrologer, that have to seriously be convinced it has something more to it than anything judgmental

#so many times I answered the confusion in Vedic with tropical astrology within two minutes #your bias is beating your ass.

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josdelusions · 1 year

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BLIND DATE- MARTIN ODEGAARD

Synopsis: Where Yn was about to give up on her failed love life until she finds herself in one arranged meeting with none other than Arsenal captain Martin Ødegaard.

Author's notes: This is my first series on tumblr, so I'm really looking forward to it. I really hope you like it.

Category:Cute,blind date,college.

Warnings: None

“I will not do it again, never come”

“Please, this time it will work, I swear”

I was laughing and I couldn't believe that once again Ragmor was convincing me to have a blind date again! Damned time I went to tell her about the disaster that is my love life.

I arrived in London three months ago to study and in college I made friends with the nicest person I know, simply Ragmor Honneker, a Norwegian woman who became my salvation in this unknown country. But I made the mistake of telling her about my life loving.

Well, my love life is like the ozone layer, I don't see it, but I know it's ending.

It's been two years since I had a relationship with anyone and that was the result of a painful disappointment in love that ended my desire to date again. However, since she found out about this she decided, without my consent, that she would get me a boyfriend. And this joke gave me three failed dates with guys who had nothing to do with me and I had to find a way to dismiss them, something I didn't know how to do until then, but now I know better.

“Seriously, now go. You will love him”

Ragmor said as I downed my second can of beer of the night.

"No way"

Ragmor gets up and sits next to me looking at me.

“He's perfect for you, he's handsome, smart, polite, gentlemanly and kind. You match a lot, I swear”

"Oh yes? funny that you said that about the last three guys and they were all weird and dodgy.”

“I swear that if this one goes wrong, I will never say anything about a blind date again”

Ragmor proposes

Okay, that proposal was good. That's all I wanted, Ragmor stopping making my life hell with his absurd boyfriend stuff. Done!

She held up her little finger and I squeezed it with mine. Promise made, it was the only way for her to stop this nonsense.

"Okay, then I'll talk to him and I'll tell you his answer later."

"I wish he was punctual because the guy last time had me waiting for almost an hour on Primrose Hill with everyone thinking I had been dumped"

"Don't worry, he'll be there on time"

“And how am I supposed to know who she is?”

“Because I'm going to tell you exactly how she's going to be dressed and I'm going to tell her how you're going to be dressed too, there's no mistake”

Martin was trying to figure out how this blind date proposal that his childhood friend Ragmor was explaining would work, because he had literally never had one. In fact, Martin Odeegard's love life also felt like an ozone layer just like Yn's. He had a teenage relationship that ended too quickly because he started his professional football career and it got harder and harder to see his girlfriend. And since then, things have only gotten more and more complicated. Martin even tried a few times, but without success, because, according to them, he was in love with football and not them.

“ok, but did you tell her about my job?”

“no, because she would never accept it, she is very reserved”

"So fucked up because as soon as I tell her, she's going to get up and leave"

“you just explain it right without scaring her too much, Martin”

“How do I explain to a girl who is anonymous and private that I am a football player and captain of one of the most famous teams in England without scaring her off?”

“Martin, everything will be fine, trust me.”

“Little Venice, Saturday, 7pm, oh and you need to tell me what you are going to wear”

“Wait, isn't Little Venice that canal with those little boats?”

"Yes, that's him"

“Fucking hell I'm going. This guy wants to take me to a place that has almost no one and it's still night? He must be a pervert for sure.”

“Yn, he's not a pervert, he's just a person who prefers a quieter place than a pub in the middle of this noisy London.

"If something happens to me, it's your fault"

“I swear nothing will go wrong, you will understand everything later”

“Understand what, Ragmor?”

She blushed, which she naturally did because she was Scandinavian and we were sitting on the porch on a beautiful sunny day, but knowing Ragmor well that only meant one thing: she was hiding something and that looked like trouble. And the big ones.

“Um, when I say understand, I mean you will know why he is reserved because you will talk”

"This doesn't smell good, Ragmor, expla-"

I'm interrupted by her opening a notification on her phone.

"Look, he sent me a message telling me what he's going to wear"

“And how is this nymphomaniac doing?”

"He will wear a casual white shirt and black pants"

Basic just the way I like it. Oh shit what am I thinking. I don't even know who he is

"But what if there's more than one guy like that? You're not going to give me any clues as to what he's like?"

"He is blond"

Wow, what a great help Ragmor.

"Ragmor, 80% of Norway is made up of blondes, so it doesn't count"

"I'm sorry, if not, it won't be funny. But what I can tell you is that he's very cute and feel flattered because he doesn't have a better match"

I roll my eyes at her. But I confess that the butterflies in my stomach were already prevailing in me. Was I looking forward to meeting a guy whose name I don't even know his face? It can only be the need that is affecting my brain.

"And you? What are you going to wear? You have to look really pretty"

"I think I'll go with a basic black dress that I have"

"That "basic" one with the plunging back? Yn, are you mean to him by any chance?"

She starts laughing out loud mocking me. And no, I wasn't wearing that dress with any other intentions (I am), it's just that I want to make a good impression. Maybe Ragmor is telling the truth and he's the whole party.

"I'm not mean to anyone, we're just going to talk"

"Ahem, I know. I'm going, I have to stop by the lab. I'll call you tomorrow, ok? Bye!"

"Goodbye"

I laid down on my bed and all I could think about was the unknown guy. How could that be him? Is it if he smells? What does he do for a living? Of two things I was sure. The first: I wouldn't sleep well that anxious night. The second: I was probably going crazy accepting to go out with a complete stranger.

But that I will only find out tomorrow

To be continued...

#martin ødegaard #footballplayers #football #england #soccer #trent alexander arnold #jude bellingham #liverpool #cute #kylian mbappe #psg #arsenal #gabriel martinelli #norway #little venice #london #college #imagines #fluffy

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savagebisand · 8 months

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I saw it be said a few times that Boeing is mature and whilst that man is a lot of things that have me questioning if I'm like... Mentally okay to have such a carnal desire for them. Mature is not one of the traits I'd assign. This is a man who is literally playing games with not just one now but two of his exes. He's spent what months? years maybe? being Tops go to call when he doesn't want a lonely night, the second he feels threatened of his security in Tops fucked up life, he makes a move on the so called threat aka Mew. He's master manipulating. Everything he says is double edged and eery and unsettling. Just how much does he pull strings on Top? You see it in how he talks to him, how he touches him.

Boeing doesn't care for Tops boundaries, he may have even been the start of Tops issues with fighting for his own boundaries being respected. Boeing does this thing where he keeps Top coming back to him for more, and he lords it over him. How long has it been, are you still sticking to the three month rule? He knows exactly the power he has and by god does he wield it. Sabotaging Tops other relationships so he can keep number one spot. Deceiving Mew so easily into believing it's a revenge that won't bite him in the ass, that he's a friend and not a wolf in sheep's clothing.

And as if that's not enough, he then next episode targets Sand again, purely because he hears about how Sand has moved on. Kinda like how he doubles down on his position in Tops life because he thinks Top can finally move on with Mew. Like he's terrified of someone replacing his legacy as The Best Option. Boeing likes pulling puppet strings, he likes keeping people stagnant in a place he can leave them and come back to peck at what's left later like a vulture. And the worst part is he does it because he needs attention.

There he is simpering to Mew and Sand about how he thinks he can be a better boyfriend than their current partners. Using Mews history against him, spinning this tale where Top is selfish and Boeing is "The Good Guy", then using his own history with Sand to delude Sand into this vision where he's blameless and just wants him back bad enough he's willing to be "The Bad Guy".

Funny how Boeing only starts caring if he still stands a chance when he thinks his position is threatened as Sands most important ex. He's still got his little revenge plot with Mew in the works but he wants Sand on his belt too. Also, all this man does is talk about his exes. He tells stories of the past where he and Sand played quiz nights at the bar, where Top took him wakeboarding and made him a pro. Constantly trying to undermine what his exes newest partners may see as special time for them because oh hey btw I did that first. The sheer audacity to bring up dates Sand and him used to do whilst at the same time he was prioritising Top over Sand? As if they're like fond memories?

Boeing presents himself as this true friends stab you in the front archetype but he's just a lost, lonely man desperate for even a shred of someone's attention and value. And that's kind of sad actually. Like babes move the fuck on? Get a life outside of these men's business and stop bothering them?

We love Boeing because he steps on the scene and emits this mean girl Regina George energy where you're like oh this vindictive little bitch is truly a supreme conniving pussy slaying cow. But when you peel back his layers it's like you are the most pathetic man to ever breathe sir. How hard is it to just move forward in life?

Boeing is that smart and that pretty and that good at pulling strings to get to high places and he wastes his time circling the flakey little meal that is this group of men. He literally invented gaslight, gatekeep and girlboss specifically for his exes and even Boston would shake in his leather studded cunt serving boots at the sight of Boeing. And yet, he's insignificant. He means nothing to anyone. He's indisposable at any time and he Knows it. He knows one day Top will say he no longer needs Boeing to play ghost of his past still haunting. That Sand will eventually see why Boeing was never the right one. So he claws for control by removing options. Because he'd never be a first choice all on his own.

I'm obsessed with him, I crave him carnally and viciously. I'd do truly wicked things to that maleficent poisonous man. But he better leave Sand tf alone. It's about time someone tells Boeing they want someone whose actually willing to change for them, to see past what is so say "not enough" within them to make Boeing truly loyal or commited, to choose someone who genuinely tries rather than someone who clings to falsified memories of a past with a significance that didn't and doesn't exist.

And yes I do want Sand to be the one to say it because my biggest fear is that Ray will go in all guns blazing when he overhears Boeing making a move on his man, take over the situation and then Sand will lose his chance to get closure and put autonomy back on Boeing for his part in the downfall of their relationship. If ray interferes, it's a loss of a chance for sand to make a point that he chooses ray no matter what in a way Ray can witness and feel the significance of. Because Ray knows but he's still learning that Sand will choose him over everything and he needs to hear Sand of his own volition, let go of such an important part of his past because Ray is the future he picks.

Top got the chance to clearly tell Boeing he picks Mew and now I need to see Sand do the same for Ray without Ray "forcing his hand" to use Rays expression from the ep when it came to making Sand make a big choice the first time around.

#only friends the series #this is such a weird fear for me bc i know sand would pick ray now over boeing #bc it makes no sense for sand atp in his growth to go back to boeing anyway #he just managed to get ray to let him love him whilst being a better version of himself #then hes gonna settle for bare minimum boeing anyway? nah dont make no sense #but im still fearful of how this goes down when boeing has been shown to have such a strong influence and grip on sand #to the point sand removed blame from him for going to top and views him as the one who got away #and also bc i really dont want impulsive mode ray to make the choice for sand in that split second #it takes from a key moment we could see ray heal by standing aside #still hearing sand say fuck that i cared once but it will always be ray

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monstersinthecosmos · 2 years

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VAMPTEMBER DAY 1: DEVIL'S IN THE DETAILS

One of my favorite things to do, like one of my small pleasures in life, is to pair music with books so that like, I can listen to an album (or song or playlist or whatever works) while I read a book because I know that my brain will form vivid memories and then every time I hear those songs for the rest of my life I can have like this fun moment of remembering a story or a character or a scene or whatever. And it’s become this ritualistic thing I do to try on different albums with a book to find the best fit, and then I’m making an intentional commitment to that album for the rest of my life.

Since today’s prompt is “Devil’s in the Details” it reminded me of how I listened to the album Battle for the Sun by Placebo on loop last time I reread The Tale of the Body Thief so I want to share how some of the songs connect with the book because it’s left a lasting impression on me!!! I recall making a playlist of like the gloomier half of the album that felt more thematically appropriate. =P

Just as a CW I wanna mention that there's a lot of suicide on this album just like there is in the book, please proceed with caution!

Battle for the Sun

Like obviously “battle for the SUN” herp derp feels like a vampire reference LOL but I think it also sets the scene for this book in particular which is about Lestat trying to see the sun again. But the album in general has a lot of messaging about suicide and survival. A lot of the songs (including this one) also talk about being alienated or facing adversity, as well, like not just the idea of survival but having to do it alone.

So it just feels like, even LITERALLY this song feels like it’s about Lestat’s suicide attempt and setting the scene for him to do this ridiculous stunt that NO ONE is supporting him on lol.

I will battle for the sun And I won't stop until I'm done You are getting in the way And I have nothing left to say I will brush off all the dirt And I will pretend it didn't hurt You are a black and heavy weight And I will not participate Dream brother, my killer, my lover

(also as a bonus, calling someone brother/killer/lover is SO Ricey lol and I love it bc it shows up on other Placebo albums as the concept of someone being EVERYTHING to you!)

For What It’s Worth

This one is so funny because it’s like perfect for Lestat in that it’s kinda bitchy/cynical and also so catchy and fun? LOL But it’s about someone just at the end of their rope, burnt out from helping everyone else when on one wants to help THEM.

It’s funny in that Lestat context because like, I think he’s a character that struggles with his own self worth. Like he sits down at book writing time and he’s able to hype himself up and everything but we also see him go through these dark times and depressive episodes as well. TOBT is a great example because he starts the book with a suicide attempt and then he’s on this high to like DO A COOL ADVENTURE and literally NO ONE is supporting him.

And like the extra layer is I think, despite struggling with his self worth, it’s like he has this split thinking where he has to contend with his own ego. He is sensitive to rejection and at the same time has an inflated sense of self. The concept of helping everyone else or the idea that being part of their lives makes them happier is such a funny idea because he exists like on his own island where no one else agrees with him or sees it the way he does. But it means he can mistreat people all he wants, without realizing it, and doesn’t take accountability for it until he realizes no one has his back anymore.

The end of the century I said my goodbyes For what it's worth, I always aim to please But I nearly died For what it's worth Come on, lay with me 'Cause I'm on fire For what it's worth, I'd tear the sun in three To light up your eyes

And also this part of the song is so funny to me like I FEEL BRIAN MOLKO IS PERHAPS MORE SINCERE AND I’M NOT LAUGHING AT HIM but in vampire land it feels fitting to pair these extremely dramatic words with the song POPPING.

No one cares when you're out on the street Picking up the pieces to make ends meet No one cares when you're down in the gutter Got no friends, got no lover

Devil in the Details

I love this song so much AND IT’S THE PROMPT TODAY and it’s just so beautiful and really hits that PLACEBO THING, you know the thing I mean like you can enjoy Placebo all day and then certain songs they just really hit their stride and it’s so good.

All of my wrongs No more wicked ways Come back to haunt me, come what may He wrote the songs That I hoped to write someday Looks like the devil's here to stay Let me take you for a ride With the devil in the details We'll kiss and tremble with the light Everything is fine With the devil in the details We're gonna dance with him tonight

Just off the repetition of “looks like the devil’s here to stay” makes me so emotional LOL.

ANYWAY so this concept really resonates with me for this book because Lestat’s entire story here is that we open with Lestat trying to kill himself, then has this chance to be human again, then realizes he’s still a monster even when he’s human. And the thing is like, he gets his body back, wins the game, it’s back to normal, and instead of changing his ways he doubles down and decides to continues to be evil. THE DEVIL’S HERE TO STAY, GUYS.

I love this in line with like the entire reason I find villains to be compelling; we create a super hyperbolic situation to play with the idea of love and forgiveness and identity– in this situation it’s also an act of SELF LOVE for Lestat. Like the idea of him embracing himself as a flawed, sometimes evil, person is an act of unconditional self acceptance and I love that!!!!

The Never‐Ending Why

Sdhjgkffffffff the entire concept of this song is the contradiction that time heals and yet there’s not ENOUGH time to answer all the questions we have about the unknowable.

I bring this up a lot when I talk about VC because I think about how we have to reframe the vampires’ psychology as immortals and what it means for things like forgiveness. Like some of these characters have done truly atrocious things to each other and IRL if someone did something like this it’s just OKAY, BANISHED IMMEDIATELY GOODBYE because we do not have the TIME to get through such a serious emotional wound. Vampires have nothing BUT time.

But I love it in regards to the suicide theme on the album of like, the acceptance that you don’t have enough time anyway, being okay with that. It’s something the vampires all struggle with. Being immortal seems to make them even more afraid of death.

Julien

This is one of my fav songs on the album, I lose my mind every time I hear it. ALSO REMEMBER WHEN LESTAT MET JULIEN MAYFAIR AND YOU’D THINK THEY’D BE SO COMPATIBLE WITH EACH OTHER BUT THEY WERE JUST CATTY BITCHES THE WHOLE TIME LOL

Placebo had said this song is named after Julian from Less Than Zero (lol) and the song is about slowly killing yourself with drugs; references to “Julien” I think you could swap out for “cocaine” or whatever you want.

Anyway since I’m still talking about Lestat it really can fit so much of his bullshit haha like he’s a person who never has enough and often behaves selfishly because of it. Like in this book he winds up isolating himself from everyone bc they go LESTAT NO and he’s like LESTAT YES! And it’s not just them like denying him having this beautiful experience, like there’s a very real danger to having his POWERFUL BODY on the loose.

Fallen angels in the night And everyone is barred from Heaven Just one more hit to make it right But every one turns into seven Now that it's snowing in your brain Another ten will not placate you This ain't no killer for the pain This avalanche will suffocate you

You can run but you can't hide Because no one here gets out alive Find a friend in whom you can rely Julien, you're being taken for a ride You can run but you can't hide Because no one here gets out alive Find a friend in whom you can confide Julien, you're a slow motion suicide

I like the image of “slow motion suicide” too again in reference to a vampire’s relationship with time. It feels like it loses meaning for them, or can feel relative. And it’s sad because like whatever context you hear in a song like this it’s still about all the small ways we hurt ourselves and how it adds up. Like Lestat is a person who desperately needs companionship and wants to be loved and he constantly makes it harder for people to love him lol.

Breathe Underwater

This! Song! Is! So! Good!

It brings us back to a theme of survival after all the other stuff we just went through on this album haha.

It's hard to reconcile What I've become With the wounded child Hiding deep inside

(This part always makes me think of Armand bc lol but anyway)

So back to that thing about how Lestat becomes human only to learn he’s still a monster lol. I FEEL LIKE, AND DON’T LET ME GO DOWN A RABBIT HOLE NOW, but like there’s a therapy thing about reparenting or protecting the wounded inner child, and learning to reframe your instincts as an adult who is not a wounded child. And it’s that old saying hurt people hurt people; sometimes we become a version of ourselves that we really dislike because we’re reacting to our trauma way past the threat of danger.

And there’s a conflicting message in this song about like, breathing underwater (maybe the method to kill yourself) but then also saying “I’m coming up for air, I want to see another dawn.” It’s like he’s finally sick of it and got the survival instinct at the last moment.

Take my ego for a ride 'Cause there's nobody by my side It's getting hard to justify And it won't be long till I collide My weakness is laid bare As people stop and stare But it's the last time I swear

But to bring it back up one more time; the whole arc of this book is how he becomes human selfishly, risks his relationships for it, puts people in danger, and the whole time he's nearly dying and trying to reconcile with the idea of what he did to Claudia, only to come to the conclusion he'd do it again. It reads like the song; I can't take this anymore, I must drown myself, but I want to live. Lestat gets to the bottom in this book and really faces his mortality, comes up for air, and does it again.

Whew.

SO ANYWAY I DONT HAVE A GRACEFUL EXIT FOR ALL OF THIS just wanna repeat that I really love these songs and they remind me of Lestat LOL and the back and forth of despair to optimism/survival sounds so much like him! HE’S SO MOODY OKAY?

#vamptember #vampire chronicles #lestat de lioncourt #placebo #tale of the body thief

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dip-the-stick · 2 years

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ok alr here I am fuck lets do this. so im too lazy to check the times of their attacks but I swear steve was attacked longer. like 2-3 minutes or smthn and Eddie was only a minute, maybe 2. and so Steve was shirtless, he had nothing to protect himself by his pants and then didnt even attack down there. his neck was wrapped, his hands were held down, and his feet were free but all he did was kick the air. Eddie on the other hand had pants, boots, three fucking layers of shirts, two of which (leather jacket and army vest) were thick. and yes his neck and hands AND legs were wrapped and held down too but he wasn't attacked for as long and had protection. AND AND AND THE BIGGEST THING his fucking shirt wasn't even ripped ?????? yes it was bloody but it wasn't ripped like Steve had actually flesh missing and maybe Eddie did too but the bats would have had to eat thru the shirt to get that much flesh on him but there was no hunks of the shirt missing it was just covered in blood. and so the bats clearly didnt hold his shirt up and put it back down when they were done eating him so fuck the duffers and their shitty writing Eddie should still be alive

OK YES. first off, he literally in the reality of the show should not have died. everything u said is right and its making me so fkn mad lmao. man went out there fully suited up with WEAPONS and CLOTHES to protect him, and somehow getting a couple bites and chocking for a minute or so killed him??? but when steve got way worse all it did was push him into a scene to move the stevnancy narrative along. sure. whatever. it's total bullshit but fine. why not i guess

SECOND THOUGH, having the actors make a big deal abt there being deaths this season and then killing one character who was only introduced at the beginning of the season is lazy writing. it just is. there's no stakes. i love Eddie so much but killing him had no point. saying he died a hero when his death saved no one and he could have gone back with dustin and helped out and become a more developed character next season fuckin sucked and it was practically meaningless, at least plot wise. im never gonna shut up abt this but the fact that the only ppl that are affected by his death are Uncle Wayne and Dustin just goes to show that it wasnt relevant to anything and didnt drive the plot forward at all. it's also completely betraying what the show was all about in the first season. i saw a post that worded this better a couple days ago, but season one was built on going against tropes. the crazy mom turns out to be right, stuff like that. but they've stopped doing that and it makes me so upset. they could have done better with Eddie. instead of "freak has a change of heart and dies a 'hero' in the end" it could have been "freak finds that despite what he thought, he never needed to change and that running is just your best option sometimes". the amount of guilt he has about constantly running away from stuff could have been explored so much better, especially if in the end he realized that EVERYTHING he ran from this season was stuff that he SHOULD run from. i dont think he ever ran without good fkn reason and making him die for nothing in the end just made his character feel more empty to me

anyways, thank god i have the little alive and happy eddie in my head that the duffers arent allowed to interract with. love that guy he's doing great, playing his guitar and rolling dice and whatnot

#i feel like i have written too much but GOD im very upset abt vol 2 and they did eddie so so wrong #asks #st #stranger things 4 #stranger things #st4 #eddie munson #thanks for the ask homie sorry about all the words lol #icarus!!

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markantonys · 2 years

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Gareth bryne hate anon here lol. Yes individually his character is rn just like whatever to me but his relationship with siuan is just gross. Siuans arc with living without her powers is interesting to me but i am so annoyed with a) her looking like a young woman/girl instead her age (hate that trope) and b) her fucking relationship. Nothing i despise more than their dymamic with her being forced to serve him and then him being interested in her which compels him to keep her in service etc etc... like literally vomiting why jordan why 🤢🤢

And yes to all min conversation!! In foh u really notice how different her narration is compared to for example nynaeve and elayne. They will miss and think about lan and rand as is normal and fine, but they have their own like arcs and things that interest them and drive them and shit. Like elayne wants to go help rand and be with rand but she will not let that thought drive all her behaviour. They also develop relationships with characters around them, friendships, allies, enemies etc. Which was so jarring compared to when reading mins pov like she was so detached from everything siuan/leane/logain were doing, didnt have anything else to drive her behaviour except for rand. She has such interesting power too and she just like doesnt give a shit 😂

Ok this turned into another rant lol hope u dont mind

haha i don't mind at all i love this rant, we are totally on the same page! ugh yeah siuan visibly de-aging when she was stilled made me SO mad!! i feel like if anything she should've looked older and closer to her true age now that the aes sedai agelessness has been stripped away. aes sedai agelessness in and of itself annoys me, i feel like it's this fantasy of "powerful older women but they actually look young and hot" although i will say that it's been a relevant plot point many times that there's a way to visibly recognize an aes sedai and they have trouble hiding who they are. also hate the whole "aes sedai don't marry because few men would be into a woman who's more powerful than them" like if rj wanted it to be a thing that aes sedai don't marry, he could've just said that aes sedai are so wholly focused on their duties that they have no interest in marriage, or that aes sedai aren't allowed to marry because the white tower made a rule, and i would've been fine with that. and i feel like siuan getting her romance only after losing her powers feeds into the idea in a way i hate, like she's not allowed to fall in love until she's put in a position where the man in question is more powerful than her.

and yes to everything about min! when their love interests aren't currently with them, nynaeve and elayne think about them like 5-10% of the time and min is a solid 95% and i am not exaggerating. you're so right she truly does not seem to give a shit about siuan, leane, or logain or what any of them are trying to accomplish, she's just looking for a way to get back to rand. she has no relationships with other characters, i cannot list a single friend min has except for elayne (which is more told to us than shown, as they have very little screentime together). she DOES have a cool power that could've been used to affect the plot and/or her character arc in a meaningful way, but no! her sole goal in life is to make rand love her! especially frustrating when compared to how layered and three-dimensional the other female characters are and how many goals and ambitions they all have. but min truly is just rand's sexy lamp.

#anonymous #answered #wot book spoilers

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alyjojo · 4 months

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Past Life 🪡 Karmic Spread January 2024 - Leo

Character Card: The Witch (past), The Pathless (present)

Gender I’m Picking Up On (in the past life): Female - both

Who You Were: 5 Swords

What You Did: 2 Wands

How It Ended: The Fool

What Karma Was Brought With You: 6 Pentacles rev

Who You Brought With You: Queen of Pentacles

Additional energy: The World

Past Life Oracle: Mother & Biblical (past), Native American & Orphan (present)

Dreaming Way: Anchor (past), Sun (present)

Charm:

Moulin Rouge 💋 on The Fool

Balloons 🎈 on Native American

Fractal Moon rev 🌙 on The Magician rev & The Devil

T.W. rape, child harm

Yours is by far the oldest of the bunch, I can’t even guess a time period. With Biblical I’m getting Middle East…ish. A land of desert, but not sand, the ground is red, but it used to be green. When you were alive, it was all green. Something specific drying up, a river? Google says that’s possibly B.C. time periods, and what little research I did shows this as speculation. Your character card shows you as Witch, I’m getting more of an herbalist, at least your part in it, I keep seeing garlic 🧄 specifically, twisting garlic in long braids, but what you did with it I’m not sure. Sold it? Maybe garlic was just really important, this is a whole different world I’m seeing. It’s possible there’s “priestess” energy here, if so I’m getting it’s your mother - and you continuing this way of believing/practice. By force. Pressure. Not by belief. In the preshuffle, The Magician rev kept falling out over and over again, and I kept hearing “I didn’t know!” like you were upset, you’d been tricked. It came out like three times, and after laying everything out, it’s at the bottom of the deck again, with The Devil. Because it’s at the bottom, it’s something that’s carried over, so this is still affecting you now. You could be easily manipulated, or a sucker for a salesperson, a strong personality, a sleazy snake charmer that sounds confident enough. Fractal Moon shows many layers to these Devil experiences of trickery, manipulation, God knows what 🙏 It can’t be easy, still. In this life, it’s reversed, you’re going to see everything you didn’t see before, in the last life and this one up until these points of clarity.

Mother is combined with Biblical, clarified by 8 & 10 Swords. I keep hearing “rape”, I’ve heard “prostitution” and “sacrifice”, and it is intertwined with these beliefs of hers, whatever they were. Essentially, you were sacrificed. I don’t get that was the intent, maybe, but you were given to some male, like a toy to play with, and there was nothing you could do to stop it, because it was your mother that made the decision, it was her will. She was the boss. You were 5 Swords, you hated this, we’re very resentful, felt you could do it better than she could and not do these hurtful things, you didn’t believe what she did…and you may still have some deep seated traumas in relation to sex & intimacy, maybe it doesn’t make sense to you why it bothers you, or others, and now you know 💯 You were traumatized, more than once, many times. I’m also seeing you as a child, maybe not to others at the time of course, but by my and the law’s standards nowadays, you were a child. If you need a break here, take a break, you can’t see me but I have to leave my table for a few minutes, get a drink, breathe, and clear this part of the energy out of my head, it’s making me ill 😞 It’s everything one would fear it would be, it’s fkd up.

————-

Ok. I haven’t even gotten to the current life yet, but I see The Pathless here, and I’m just gonna say you’re probably being too hard on yourself by current societal standards, you’re literally here to heal a deep-seated trauma, not to give a fk about what anyone else has going on to compare yourself to. Or what they think. Ok? Be kind to you. Treat yourself now like you would this child. Nurture you, love you, speak life into you. With that being said, this isn’t your only life, you’ve probably had several, and probably have several different lessons going on simultaneously, but this is the main one showing up with karma to resolve, it’s the one you’ve either taken on or have been given to clear up (Moon rev). I can see why it took so long. You were ready now 💯

In the past, your personality was this Anchor, you were practical, logical, but raised in a cult basically, you didn’t believe any of this crap, and 5 Swords shows you with a mentality of “knowing better” in a condescending way. You hated everything about this lifestyle or what your mother did, or you were jealous of her position vs yours, understandably. She’s mentioned several times, she’s why your life ended. Your dream was stability, marrying a wealthy man, maybe even starting a business for yourself, you had dreams and ambitions that didn’t involve this life at all, but you were young, impressionable, female, and submissive by force. You didn’t have a choice, you just thought/hoped you did, you were right and you knew it. Your mother gave you to people, I’m getting several, they would come and go. One in particular took things too far, too rough, you were badly hurt and died from your injuries. It was brutal.

*breathe* Again… I love these readings until I get one that makes me ill in every sense. I’m sorry 😞 No one wants this life or story, this karma or trauma. This life has also been extremely difficult for you, that’s why it’s “The Pathless” which describes someone going in circles, having trusted shitty people to lead them, they now feel lost and directionless. Is that your purpose, no I don’t think that’s anyone’s purpose. It’s just where you are after the bs you’ve survived. But, you’ve survived 🩷 6 Pentacles rev is giving more than you ever receive, trickery, manipulation, deceit, cheating, it’s all at the bottom. You’re here, Queen of Wands, and the King is at the bottom as the one doing this to you, I’m guessing you’ve probably had a shitty partner. They don’t reciprocate the love or effort you give, they could be selfish, attention seeking, and a player. Or at least they have been before, because you do show up as a match, no one is reversed, this may be mentioning some history that’s been overcome - I’m not sure. It may not be romantic either, but someone you give and give and give to, endlessly, and you feel manipulated and trapped in chains to just continue giving for whatever reason. They were in this past life, but it’s not giving me a “who”, not the worst ones. If you were hoping for a specific person not just a dream person in the past, and this is romantic now, then it’s them. If it’s platonic, then it’s more of an acquaintance that wanted you in some way.

The other person you’ve brought is a Queen of Pentacles, could be an earth sign, there is a ton of that energy here, five cards just in this area. This person is your mother from the past, but not your mother now. Having the Orphan card, if you do have parents they’re distant, and in that case this may be one by blood, and you just have nothing to do with them. They show up with 7 Swords, Queen of Pentacles rev, Queen of Cups rev and 5 Wands, this person is trouble. Manipulative af, they’re a liar, a thief, a sneak, deceptive, controlling, and there’s some fkd up relationship with money being highlighted, they use people for money? Or they try to anyway, with sob stories and guilt trips, I’ll just stop. Fractal moon shows many layers to all of this, I couldn’t even cover it all I’m sure. You don’t deserve it, but you’re going to see it, and the point is to see it

The World is your purpose, seeing the truth about the snakes around you, maybe they’ve always been around you. You can only know what you know, until you know better, and then you can do better. That’s all you can do. You’re to put an end to painful situations and relationships that don’t reciprocate, don’t see your value, don’t honor your boundaries or show you respect. There is heartbreak to heal from, family related, love related, could be work related too with 10 Pentacles. It’s a feeling of lack, feeling unworthy, like you don’t deserve things you absolutely deserve, but Spirit needs you to see things clearly. You can build what you don’t have, once you know what’s not good for you and what you want, need, demand, expect, and deserve.

Native American with 3 Cups, clarified by 6 Swords. This may be a memory or something, somewhere you’ve traveled, obsess over, a deeper interest, it’s something that’s celebrated and feels personal to you. Or maybe was as a child. I don’t get that you’re actually Native American, could be, but I’m getting like a birthday party or some kind of event, it’s a confirmation message for whoever it is, and it’s positive from what I can see. The Sun ☀️ is your own energy, it radiates light, health, clarity, helps you see through this Moon bs for your highest good, it also promotes a long life ahead of you, and good health. Clarifying this Pathless, where are you supposed to be headed, because this ain’t it. 6 Pentacles upright, hallelujah, giving to those that give to you, period 💯 People, situations, jobs, setting the standard for yourself and only accepting that which gives you what you fkn deserve, I love this for you 🩷 Leos are meant to shine, this Pathless crap is not your destiny, it’s just your…very difficult challenge. Better things are meant for you when you decide you’re done with these kinds of people and this ick, you’re free to realize you’re a bad bitch and switch tracks whenever you feel like doing so.

#Leo #past life reading #january 2024 #past life #karmic lessons #karma #tarot #tarotblr

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awkwarddystopianwarlord · 6 months

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My Closet is Full But My Brain Doesn't See That

You know that stereotype of girls being like “I don’t have anything to wear!” whilst their room is drowning in articles of clothing? Even though I’m not always a girl, I’m very much like that. As are my friends. It’s a funny little battle every Friday night where we individually fight with our closets regarding what to wear on our sacred Saturday Gathering Day.

I have about three small closets worth of clothing. Because of how my apartment is layed out, I have two closets that form a corner and I also have an IKEA four cube by four cube shelf situation. All of that space is occupied by clothing. One closet has all my jackets and coats, the other has all my dresses, flannels, sweaters, and socks. My cubes hold all my shirts, skirts, sweatshirts, shorts, trousers, and cardigans. But come the end of the week, I don’t bloody know what to wear to participate in weekend shenanigans! I own nothing and everything all at once. This is made worse by the fact that I only really have one day to get decked out with clothes, shoes, and makeup so it’s a stressful time. How do I present myself this Saturday? What is worthy of the planned activities? What items of clothing have I neglected of late and what do I repeat more often? I should just keep an extensive inventory, a Dewey Decimal System but for closet items.

It’s embarrassing to act as though I don’t have anything good or decent or fun to wear when practically all that dwells in my closets are pieces that I enjoy and use. The nerve of me to strut about my room-house muttering how there’s nothing able to become an outfit. Meanwhile I just ordered a few clothes last week and they’re arriving tomorrow. I’ve ordered many a clothes before, because I like them, and now they sit in my closet and I am blind to their existence the moment I try to curate an appearance.

Wintertime is the best time for me to dress as I please since I can layer and accessorize far more than I can in the warmer months, though it leaves more room for decision making and therefore brain blanking. I try to wear everything I own once before repeating anything. Like parents with multiple children, I’m assuming as I don’t personally have any, I don’t want to neglect any closet dweller. I want to show them all equal love and appreciation and incorporate them into something. That said, not everything is flexible and not everything fits into the current mood of the day I’m dressing for. Some clothes aren’t forgiving in stormy weather, others aren’t forgiving when my uterus is releasing its monthly contents. Some aren’t forgiving of a hearty meal, others aren’t forgiving of much walking, or much sitting. I may have an outfit idea but the morning of can easily snatch those plans away moments after I rise.

Saying “I don’t have anything to wear” has more than just the literal translation. When we say it, we mean it to say something more like “I don’t have anything to wear because of the weather” or “I don’t have anything to wear because I’m bloated and feel gross and need something that’s easy to take off so I can deal with my menstrual cup with little chance of disaster”. My current dilemma is “I don't have anything to wear that I feel matches the mood of the punk market I’m going to tomorrow”. Granted, that is likely to change once I stare at each closet for several minutes, ponder, stare at everything again, take some items out, try them on, decide against them, mix and match other things with some decided staples, wander around grumbling, ponder again, stare, fold the discarded options, find inspiration, try on the inspiration, fiddle around with other things that work better together, create a look, eat dinner feeling victorious. I simply need to go through the process first. Then, come tomorrow, I will curate a makeup look that will likely not match at all with what I’m wearing and I will be complete.

#writing #blog #friday post #biweeklyblog #struggles #thoughts

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moonlight-prose · 2 years

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Oh my goodness idk what this is but it just came to me (?)

The world almost ends….but then thanks to Peter and Doctor Strange…it doesn’t. He heads back to the Sanctum Sanctorum, on edge coz he needs to make sure you’re alright….sees you in his room and desperately makes you his. He’s already lost Christine, he needs to make sure you’re okay and still there with him

Do with this what you will…..

UNTIL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT

a/n: this is literally the first ever fic for this man and i have no idea if i got his character right. also the first smut fic of the year!! i don't think this is my best writing, but enjoy whatever chaos this is. i changed it up a bit if you don't mind such as making him losing his memory of the event altogether.

summary: unable to figure out why he feels this way, he turns to you for solace.

word count: 2.6k+

pairing: stephen strange x fem!reader

warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS SHOO, p in v sex, fingering, cream pie because why not, biting, angst, little bit of fluff, and cussing as always.

He couldn’t remember why he was this anxious. Fractured memories played on a loop in his mind and yet the longer he stood at the top of the stairs, watching the front doors, the longer he felt like he was losing it. Maybe he finally was. The parts of his brain that used to function with ease felt like they were being torn apart.

Frayed thoughts ran through his mind, bringing him back to the surface – keeping him from drowning in the depths of his mind. Yet still the anxiety pumped through his veins, forcing his heart rate to speed up exponentially. He helped someone with something…helped to save something. Nothing made sense tonight, not at a time where he felt like he had blacked out for hours on end.

“Stephen?” Your voice. Your…voice – you.

He turned, focusing on the single thing that seemed to drag his consciousness back to the world around him. “Hi,” he said even if he did sound distant physically as well as mentally.

“Everything okay?”

The frayed nerves still set him on edge, body putting out adrenaline in order to combat whatever he had been fighting. What had he been fighting? None of that mattered. Not now. You were there, watching him warily – as if he was someone entirely different – who knows he very well might be someone else. Has someone stolen his name, his body? Was that why he felt off putting – unlike himself?

“I – I don’t know.”

Such a pathetic, measly response, but there was nothing else he could say. The unknown used to be a small area of darkness to him and yet now…he felt like he was drowning in it. Gasping for air as the memories he should have never showed up. What if he completely lost himself in this cavern? What if he never found his way back to you? He couldn’t allow that to happen, because you were here and you…were perfect.

He didn’t recall stumbling his way towards you, nor did he hold any memory of how you ended up against a wall, but there you were. Staring up at him and holding his face so reverently that he felt the tears well up in his eyes. You were his anchor. The one dragging him forcefully out of his own endless pit that seemed content in swallowing him whole.

“Tell me,” you breathed, pressing your forehead to his. “What’s pulling you away from me?”

He wanted to tell you, desperately. He ached to know himself.

“I don’t know.” The same three words that were on repeat in his mind became all he could say to you. An explanation was nonexistent so he allowed himself to forget about the trauma that stuck to his skin like a permanent tattoo.

You’d save him. You’d protect him.

He was sure of it.

“What can I do?” You didn’t like the haunted look in his eyes. Nor did you appreciate how his hands shook again.

“Kiss me.”

The request felt like the easiest thing in the world for you to do – almost not enough – but for him…it was bliss. Your lips pressed against his and he felt the layers of armor he wore for a reason, begin to melt away. Whatever happened caused him severe distress, that much was obvious, but most of all he needed to know you were real. That he hadn’t imagined you standing before him – safe.

You were safe. You were here with him and finally he felt like he could breathe.

The tenderness shifted; his hands now dug into your hips, his lips now demanding against your own. He wanted you – needed you and who were you to pull away from his touch. You'd do anything he asked of you, bending to his will just as everything else did. His teeth sunk into your bottom lip, tugging sharply and tearing a whimper from your throat.

He could devour you every way he knew how and you’d beg for more. If this is what he needed to feel whole again, you were more than willing to oblige.

“This-” he breathed raggedly against the skin of your neck. “You. I need you.”

“Yours,” you replied, feeling him begin to lead you backwards and you did your best not to stumble. “I’m yours.”

It was ridiculous to even consider you belonging to anyone else. From the first moment he looked at you, there was a hold placed over your heart, emotions, body, everything he could lay claim to, he did. Everything he could love he would without question. He’d already lost so much in life; pushed away so many people, but not you. Never you.

His mind reeled with what happened, why it happened, and still he came up blank. Things were hazy still. Eventually they would return to him, but for now all he could do was accept what was right in front of him. He still felt the adrenaline coarse through his body and without another word he began to tug at your clothes. Desperate to sink into the warmth of you; to lose himself in someone who remained a constant in his life.

No matter how many times he retreated into himself, how much he had tried to keep you separate from his life, it never worked. You wouldn’t let him destroy himself.

A gasp of his name left your lips, forcing his head to snap up and drink in the sight of you. If his heart wasn’t beating before, it was now. You – spread out on his mattress, face twisted in pleasure as he brushed his lips against the bare skin of your chest. There wasn’t a sight he’d rather have, no other picture he would wish to keep in his mind.

His lips wrapped around your nipple, tugging at it with his teeth gently to elicit the exact response he would never tire of seeing. A cry left you, the shiver wracking your body beneath him, causing his lips to quirk up with glee. He would have spent as long as possible simply paying close attention to every spot on your body that drove you to the very edge. Except tonight his mind kept straying away from the present.

“Stephen,” you gasped, hands digging into his hair to drag his lips back to your own. “Come back to me.”

“I’m here.” He wished it were true. His mind still wanted to drag him away from you, but he fought against it.

Instead, he focused on you; your response to his actions. The small hitches in your breath as he did something you liked. He caught onto it all, now hyper aware of your presence, because it was what he needed to remain above water. Your hands trailed down his arms, nails scratching at his skin, as he pulled at the button on your pants.

“I’m here,” he repeated, more to himself than to you.

Yanking at his clothes you managed to rid him of quite a few things, fully content in stroking his bare skin – relishing in the warmth he gave off. You were conscious of what he was going through. How he did his best to stay present, but then his hand dug into your pants before he could even yank them down. Within seconds you were gone.

Lost to the sensations he pulled out of you. A moan was ripped from your throat when his fingers brushed lightly at your clit, the jolt of electricity it caused now tearing through your body. If he needed you to stay afloat, then you needed him to drown you in everything he wrought upon your being. His words – his chant – were pressed into your now feverish skin as he sucked along your waist; fingers rubbing slowly against you.

“I want to hear you,” he breathed hotly against you, eyes drawing upwards to see your reactions to his movements.

He knew what he did to you. That much was obvious, but seeing it play out before him; he would never get enough of it. Sliding two fingers into you, he watched intensely as your eyes nearly rolled back, your hand shooting down to grip his wrist. You could barely utter a single syllable let alone a full word.

Slowly, he felt himself return to himself. Pieces of the man you loved, began to spill back into his body – his mind – until he felt like the person you knew. He always found himself around you.

“Oh – fuck!” you sobbed, trying to catch your breath as his fingers sped up. Setting a relentless pace that had you quickly rushing towards the edge of a debilitating release.

One glance at him and you knew whatever bothered him before seemed to be what he was channeling into you. The unhinged glint in his eyes, teeth baring in a grin that left you breathless, it all morphed him into something else. Clenching around his fingers you thrusted against his hand, practically aching for the build up to shatter. You knew once it did you’d be in pure bliss, reveling in feelings that left you floating on cloud nine.

“Please.” The word was whimpered against his cheek and right as he brushed against the heavenly spot along your walls, he pulled away. “No. No please, please. Stephen.”

Panting, you tried to convince him to let you fall off the very edge of a cliff he had set you on. Except this man – the Stephen you loved – he was lost in his own capability of giving you what you needed and more. His fingers were good, but he didn’t want to watch you come that way. He followed your lead, helping you undo his pants and barely undressing. Just enough to pull himself free.

“I’m here,” he said again, enough to remind himself of the most important thing. He was here – with you – and he was okay.

“You’re here,” you whispered, biting your lip to stifle the moan that came from him rutting against you gently. “You’re with me.”

Drawing his lips towards yours, you kissed him gently as he began to slowly sink into you. Inch by inch he was forcing you to gasp for air while he continued to kiss you like he would never get the chance again. If there’s one thing you wanted to do forever it was kiss him like this. Fervently and yet with enough reverence that it made your toes curl.

He groaned into your mouth as he stilled, waiting for you to adjust and he swore you grew wetter just by kissing him. The power he held over you was magnificent as it was dangerous. You dug your hand into his hair, pressing your tongue into his mouth, relishing in the taste of him as your other hand clutched at his back. Desperate for more just as he was. You were two broken people, two lost souls that had somehow managed to hold onto each other for this long and each time he held you like this it felt new.

“You can move,” you breathed, a choked sound leaving you as he pulled out only to thrust back in just as quickly.

Any other time he’d take his time; give you as much pleasure as he could, but now – he was ravenous. A hunger had swept over his body to feel you fully and there was no sating it with softness. Hitching your leg up higher on his hip, he pressed his forehead against yours, the steady thrust of his hips, slowly driving you back up to the edge.

It was the sudden unexpected growl of a cuss under his breath and the shift in angle that you didn’t expect. Shoving your hips up he focused relentlessly on the spot that had you crying out each time he hit it. Your nails dug sharply into his skin, causing him to hiss in pain, but it only drove his hips harder into you. Grasping onto your wrists he shoved them upwards until they were pressed into the mattress above your head. That’s where he held them as he thrusted into you, an almost predatory look in his eyes.

“Yes!” you shouted, head falling back as he shifted his angle even more until he was so deep inside of you that you swore you’d feel him for days after this.

Still you begged for more.

Words you would have kept to yourself in moments like this so as not to show your feelings were suddenly spilling free. “Fuck – Stephen. I’m yours. Forever. You own me baby.”

Even you weren’t sure of what you were saying, but there they were. The words you had kept secret for quite some time were now revealed to him and…he liked it. He muttered some form of words you couldn’t hear, because your own heartbeat was in your ears. Your walls began to clench around him to an almost painful degree the closer you got to your orgasm.

Leaning down he sunk his teeth into the side of your breast and that did it. The sharp slice of pain mixed with pleasure threw you off the cliff. A scream echoed off the walls of his room, but you could barely hear it over your own heartbeat. White flashed behind your eyes as you screwed them shut, your back arching off the bed and pressing into him.

He dug his face into the side of your neck, biting down on your shoulder to stifle his cry as he fell over with you. The tightness of your walls around his cock was enough to cause his release to slam into him quicker than he expected.

For a few minutes you were left gasping raggedly for air as he did his best to focus on the world around him again. The last time you came this hard was the second time you’d slept with him and even then, your vision hadn’t completely gone white. Even he looked disoriented. A level of fucked out that you wanted to see on him again.

“Are you okay?” he asked, letting go of your wrists.

Words…forming them…you couldn’t even put a single syllable together. Even though he just finished, he felt himself twitch at the sight of you cockdrunk and hazy.

“I’m good,” you replied hoarsely, a smile spreading across your lips.

He ducked his head down to press a kiss over your heart; a place you found he favored. “Do you want a bath?”

You nodded, unable to say yes still.

Hissing through his teeth, he pulled out of you gently. Only to see him cum drip from you. It took him forcing himself to get up in order to stop from devouring you until you really couldn’t speak. If he felt fatigued, you must have been exhausted.

“Stephen,” you mumbled, eyes opening to meet his. “You know I’ll always be here right?”

That caused him to pause. “Yes I do.”

“Good,” you whispered, holding his hand and bringing it to your lips. “‘M never leaving you. Never ever.”

Huffing out a laugh, he helped you up. “That’s perfectly okay with me.” He’d never tell you how much your words calmed his still erratically beating heart. You’d never know how he stayed up at night fearing you would never want him again, because of what he had done.

Even now, as he helped you sink into the warm bath with him, he felt the fear from earlier still eat away at his soul. But you would never know.

No, that fear would be kept to himself for as long as possible.

#stephen strange x fem!reader #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x y/n #dr strange x you #dr strange x reader #stephen strange #dr strange #my writing #stephen strange x reader #marvel fic #stephen strange smut #dr strange smut #no way home spoilers #JUST IN CASE

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thekingofthenameless · 2 years

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Merlin is such an interesting character, with so much angst potential, and hardly anyone realizes that.

He isn’t the typical Merlin. When I, at least, think of other versions of Merlin, the Sword in the Stone Merlin is one of the first to come to my mind. The Sword in the Stone Merlin is sweet, a little bit forgetful, and a little weird. His magic can only be used for educational purposes, according to him. ToA Merlin is a jaded, guarded person. He’s a warrior who’s been through a lot, to say the least, and he remembers everything. Maybe that’s why most of the ToA fandom still doesn’t try to analyze him at all. They don’t look at the layers of his character, they only look at the surface, and go, “Merlin’s a bad person!” That’s barely covering the whole Merlin hate train after Season Three came out, ugh.

Anyway, here’s the hell that he’s been through: He’s been fighting evil for thousands of years. In his words, “I was battling evil when the world was still young.” Because of that, he’s seen millennia of terrible failures, death, and pain. He fought the Arcane Order and their Titans for a thousand years straight, and it’s implied that he was the one who sealed them away. He only got a hundred years of peace before he went to sleep. Well, not even that. Guinevere died, and Arthur’s massacre began, which affected everyone. He became emotionally distant from Douxie. He tried to lessen the effects of Arthur’s massacre by taking creatures under his protection. I doubt Arthur could kill him, but he could have been imprisoned, or banished, for treason. His former apprentice, Morgana turned against them, then she died in front of him.

She came back to life, and he was still trying to process the fact that she had died in the first place. Then Killahead happened. He literally got impaled with her magic, then he learned that Arthur died. He was confused. Before he had the chance to try to process another death of one of his few friends, Morgana tried to kill him. She wanted him dead, irrationally blaming him for her brother’s death. He had to go to sleep for nine hundred years because of that, and the only reason he was asleep for that long is because Morgana was stealing his magic for nine hundred years. Even though he prepared for everything, he was hoping that it wouldn’t happen, and he didn’t know that Morgana had taken his magic until the Eternal Night.

He’s a great judge of character. In a few seconds of meeting Angor Rot, he told Morgana, “Leave them alone, Morgana!” He was talking about both AAARRRGGHH!!! and Angor Rot. She beat him up, wanting to kill him again. He realized that Morgana stole his magic for nine hundred years, which is what kept him asleep. Then after she beat him up some more, she told him that she murdered his Trollhunters. Before that, he had to learn that she was keeping a slave when he met Angor Rot.

Wizards rolls around. A mysterious Knight attacks, stabbing his current Trollhunter in the heart with this shard of that he knows nothing about, forcing him to put him into stasis in hopes of stalling the shard’s progress. He still has trauma from Morgana. After he takes Douxie and co. to Camelot to explain what happened, he says, “The Green Knight said but one name, which chilled me to the bone.” Morgana. The Arcane Order is back, and they attack while he’s explaining. He’s horrified. The Order found them, and the Green Knight is with them. Then Galahad, one of his oldest friends sacrifices himself in the ensuing battle to buy them some time. He’s clearly devastated.

He only has a few seconds to process it, before he has to shove his grief aside and focus on the battle. Then he finds out that the Order resurrected Arthur, and he’s evil. He probably had a big sense of déjà vu when Arthur revealed himself. And he probably hasn’t had time to process Morgana either. He went to sleep pretty much right after their battle happened. He woke up nine hundred years later and had to fight her again. After that, he had to go to New Jersey to find a new heartstone. Then Jim, Galahad, and Arthur happened, and he has to deal with all that. Unfortunately, his feelings are never really shown, probably because of time constraints. (Time constraints my beloathed.)

Also, here’s some meta about him from @aaronwaltke.

#mine #my meta #my screencaps #talesofarcadiaforever rambles #happy new year!#have a Merlin ramble #tales of arcadia #trollhunters #wizards #toa meta #toa screencaps #Merlin Ambrosius #traumatized!Merlin #Merlin defense squad #aaron waltke

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ceruleanchillin · 3 years

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When You're At The Function F***in It UP And Your Man Walks In (Mayans)

Warnings: Implied sexual content, language, fighting

Characters: Angel, Coco, & EZ

You’re on thin ice as it is sis. The little forest-green dress with the the deep plunge front and slit sides, the one that ended up purchased after your friends hyped you into it. That’s supposed to be in the trash according to one Angel Reyes. That, or reserved for private nights in.

Currently, it was wrapped around your form, helping you grab envious/admiring glances from around the room.

Your hips twisted to the layered bass, using the random behind you for stability. Your friend next to you cheered you on, her inner hype man on full display. There’s a breakdown in the song, and you lose yourself in the rhythm. Suddenly, you hear a familiar voice telling you “Superstar mama, say hi for the gram!”.

Your eyes zone in on Gilly, eyes wide. Everyone knew the Mayans rolled deep when they went anywhere. Where there was one, there was the rest. Especially when it came to the three musketeers and their wrangler, EZ.

Like you were busted sneaking back into your room as a teen, you froze. You narrowed your eyes at your friend who shrugged and mouthed sorry before disappearing.

“Gilly fuck off!” You hissed, moving away from the random. Your eyes scanning the crowded den.

Gilly laughed, tucking his phone into his kutte. “Ayy, don’t get mad at me,” he fluttered his eyelashes and fake coughed into his hand. “I don’t feel so good baby, I’m just gonna stay in tonight.”

You narrowed your eyes at his high-pitched mimicry of your last conversation with Angel.

He wasn’t even supposed to be there. Your friend swore she nixed all Mayan related invites, just for that night, on your behalf. All you wanted was to be able to turn up like you did pre-relationship. Normally you could at clubhouse parties since Angel trusted everyone there with his life. Any party outside of that was a gamble, and Angel could referee like he got a check for it.

Your eyes finally met said man’s across the party and a chill and went down your spine. Angel was propped against the wall across the way, eyes on you.

The rest of party fell away as you made your way over to him, schooling your features into your ‘what did I do daddy?’ pout.

“Nah, don’t come over with that lip poking now.” He shook his head, speaking when you were in range of him.

“And what are you doing wearing this fucking pillowcase out here? What did we talk about?” He pinched the thin strings of your dress.

“Nooo, don’t be mad. I was walking through my closet and it fell on me. Besides, you liked it when I modeled it for you.”

Angel scoffed, refusing to even entertain your comments. Coco chuckled from his spot next to his friend as he lit a cigarette.

“I thought you had club shit, I didn’t even know you’d be here.” You cringed as soon as the words left your lips, the shots you’d taken earlier still putting in work.

“I didn’t know you’d be here either. I thought you were sick. There’s some soup in the car that thought it was getting dropped off. Apparently wrong thoughts is the theme of the night.”

Petty by Angel Reyes.

“Soup? Baby, that’s so sweet.” You tried to pet his cheeks, but he was keeping you at bay.

“You aren’t even sick! Imma give that shit to Gilly.”

“Nooo.” You whined again, still trying to get him to let you touch him in some way.

“Get that bitch you were dancing with to buy you soup.” It was his turn to pout, but there was fire in his eyes as he tracked the guy you’d been dancing with. “It’s all he’s gonna be able to fucking eat in a minute anyways.”

“Sorry I blew up your spot ma, I just wanted to see my plug and get out.” Coco opened the palm of his hand not holding the cigarette and revealed a small bag of weed.

Angel snapped his head towards him, expression incredulous. “Don’t apologize to her, she lied to her man! She gave some puto hope! Get on code!”

“I love you hermano, but this is your guard dog-ass fault.” He pointedly ignored his friend’s heated glare as a girl in the doorway caught his interest, slipping away when she positively returned his gaze.

Angel’s attention was claimed by you once again when you pulled his head down towards you. You smothered his cheeks in kisses, to which he was physically unresponsive.

“I don’t know if I want you kissing on me querida.”

You rolled your eyes. Petty or not, everyone knew Angel’s life force depleted the longer he went without touching you. Even in your tipsy state you could see his fingers literally twitched with the need to take their rightful place on your hips.

“I just wanted to dance like I used to, and you don’t dance. Then you beat down guys who want to. You left me no choice, so let me have kisses.” You locked your arms around his waist, successfully avoiding his half-hearted attempts to push you away.

He scrunched up his face. “How the fuck am I catching strays in this situation? I’m the victim!”

“I’ll make it up to you later if you stop being a hatin’ wallflower and let me grind on you.” Your hips found the rhythm of the slow wind song thumping through the room.

His hands encircled your throat, drawing you closer to his person. Your pupils blew at his darkened expression, your lower half squirming with interest. He pressed his lips to yours, and the party faded to nothing again. His fingers flexed around your throat before closing just enough for him to draw the subtlest gasp from you. He felt it more than heard it over the noise, but it was enough.

He pulled away, licking his lips as you tried to remember where you were and if sin always tasted so good.

“You’ll make it up to me right now in the traitor’s car.” he held up keys you recognized to be Coco’s.

You started to protest on principle, but your body was going through withdrawals from a lite touch (for Angel). He could see the wheels turning, but you were letting him lead you out of the room, palm openly covering your ass.

“Who are you texting?” You asked, more annoyed with how his hands were no longer possessively roaming your body than a real answer.

He quickly pocketed his phone and returned his hands to you. “No one baby.” definitely not telling his boys via group chat to handle the random for him. “Stop worrying about anything other than how you’re gonna get around at work tomorrow.”

--------

It was bad enough you couldn’t make it to New Orleans due to work, and Old Lady “responsibilities”, but this petty fight you were in with Coco was the kicker. You couldn’t even remember how it started, but it escalated back and forth until you weren’t speaking and were back staying at your apartment.

Poor Letty had been reduced to messenger girl, especially now that she had a car. A tug of war with your point being “she was my girl first, that’s how we met” and his point being “she’s my kid, blood first ma” had broken out. You didn’t know what was going to wear through its welcome first, your lack of Coco, or Letty’s patience, but they were competing. It wasn’t like Coco was doing any better if your daily updates from Letty were any indication. He was impatient, tense, chain smoking, and was getting closer and closer to going through with the apology call he was openly fighting.

It wouldn’t be long before you were back to getting your back arched out of shape if that was anything to go by. Not a moment too soon if your own miserable habits were anything to go by. You wanted to use the party to distract yourself, hoping Coco would break first the following day. If not, it was sure to be you.

You spent the whole day throwing your frustrations into decorating your best friend’s backyard. It looked like the French Quarter threw up its best years, but it was the perfect backdrop to lose yourself to some bounce music.

Normally, you could goad Coco into being your twerking post, and that resistance (plus his turned on bi-lingual hypeman compliments in your ear) was everything missing at the moment.

You pouted and weaved your way out of the crowd to your friend who was busy playing good hostess.

“Ah ah, no whining. If you wanna really make it Mardi Gras, shake your ass on a dude.”

You narrowed your eyes, annoyed she shut down and solved your problem before you could whine about it. “Coco hates that shit! Plus he’s spoiled me, it won’t even be the same.”

“Coco isn’t here, and it doesn’t have to be the same, it just has to do.” She turned away from where she’d filled two shot glasses for the two of you. “Besides, we both know your ass is gonna be all in his neck crying about how you miss him tomorrow. Do your thing before you go out sad.”

She clinked shot glasses with you, pleased at her accurate assessment and your sourpuss face.

“Fuck you.” You laughed, voice rough from the burn of the shot.

“Save that for Coco.” She smacked your ass, draped one of the many beaded necklaces hanging off her shoulder around your neck, and sent you on your way back to the crowd of writhing bodies.

It was nothing to find dudes to grind on, and you fell into the synergy. You couldn’t count how many fast paced songs you’d thrown it back to, or how many guys you’d danced with. The stack of beads you’d acquired gave some idea though.

Meanwhile, Coco’s skin was alive with the kind of anger he felt. He’d been seriously contemplating coming to your place and forcing out admissions of how his life wasn’t right without you in it. He couldn’t remember who or what started it, but it didn’t even matter when your scent was starting to fade from his pillow, and his touch starvation was acting up.

All of that went careening out the window when he stumbled upon a pouty Letty, huffing and sucking her teeth at her phone. Turns out you, and “everyone in the goddamn world but me” according to Letty, were at your friend’s blowout Mardi Gras party. Coco knew it was your favorite holiday, but it was news to him that you had any plans since you couldn’t officially go this year. News he didn’t welcome at all, since all of the videos he saw you in you were throwing (his) your ass on multiple dudes. Did you think he wouldn’t fight everyone???

He was already on his bike before he’d even registered leaving the house. He sent a quick summoning call in his boy’s group chat, your friend’s address the destination.

The party was louder and wilder than the videos let on. He’d already spotted his boys by their kuttes, mingling in their respective ways, but didn’t seek them out. They’d find him if he needed them to. Coco on the other hand, needed to find you.

His eagle eyes picked apart the crowd until he spotted you twisting yourself to the rhythm. Coco didn’t know whether to shoot the asshole behind you, or take you away to deal with the feelings you were bringing out of him.

You knew he loved when you brought the South to the West Coast with your hips and ass.

He charged into your space, his hands immediately going for the guy’s arm and snatching him towards him.

“Make a choice cabrón. Get the fuck out, or be an expensive bill and sad memory for your moms by morning.” He pressed his kutte to his person, emphasizing that he was strapped.

The guy raised his palms and quickly exited the scene. Unwilling to test what clearly was a warning that Coco would happily make good on.

You tugged on him, trying to get him to move away from the crowd. Scanning those around you to see who saw or heard, you noticed more than you would’ve liked. They wouldn’t make a fuss, noting his kutte, but still.

“Stop it. What are you even doing here?” You hissed, tugging his arm harshly for his attention.

He turned his gaze, wild with adrenaline and arrogance at his victory, on you. “You should’ve stopped yourself before throwing it back on random fuckers for the internet. This is on you.”

“No, this is on you. If you hadn’t done what you did or said what you said…”. You trailed off remembering that you couldn’t recall what had happened, just the frustration.

“What did I say or do (y/n)?” He noted your visible annoyance that he’d chosen to use your real name instead of a pet name, and with a smirk, he walked you backwards until your back gently hit the fence.

Between not recalling what started the fight, and your man looking amazing, you settled on a pathetic. “You remember.”

“No I don’t, and neither do you.” that familiar prickle of intensity sparked between the two of you.

Everything between you and Coco felt like a live wire dancing back and forth. High energy moments usually ended in either great sex, or separation (sometimes by the force of your friends) to let things cool down.

“I know you’re gonna catch a case if you keep moving like that Johnny. Is that what you want?”

“Nah mujer, that ain’t what I want. I want you home where you belong, but you’re out here playing me instead.” Slender fingers tugged sharply at a few of the beaded necklaces in your stack.

You sucked your teeth and turned your head, ignoring the warm cheeks and butterflies in your stomach at his on-brand admission of missing you.

He placed a hand on the fence next to your head, grasping your chin to turn your attention back to him.

“You’re being a drama queen. I thought I was talking to Angel for a second.”

He threw his head back as laughed, and you got an almost overwhelming urge to kiss him. Or at least bury your fingers in his soft curls, they were begging for it at this po-

“Fuck that, he’s still got me beat. Wait til you see the tantrum he’s saving for you for not getting invited tonight.”

“He was, I just told her to can it because of you. He should be mad at you.” You pouted, but your tone was teasing.

“I could put in a good word for you…you know, if you’re done being petty.” He leaned in, running his lips over the shell of your ear.

“Or I could just offer to throw it back on him to make him forget.”

It was your turn to laugh when Coco tensed, and pulled back from where he’d been teasing you with light touches. You didn’t love him no longer touching you, but faltering him made it almost worth it.

“Or you could take me home and we could both forget…” you clutched at his kutte, leaning into him.

He pulled your hands away by your wrists, his thumbs rubbing over your pulse points.

“Nah, if dancing is this fucking important to you, come on then.” He pulled you after him.

“Cocooo,” you whined, more interested in getting him to touch you again. “Take me home already.”

“My lady wants to dance.” He sat on the outdoor wicker couch and patted his lap. “So dance.”

You stood there in confusion for a second, before what he meant became clear. “I’m not doing that here!”

“You didn’t have an issue earlier, move those hips ma.” He looked between you and his lap again.

Could’ve been the way he was biting his lip, or the laid back way he rested against the couch, but that coupled with lack of access to him, had affirmative words running through your mind.

You playfully rolled your eyes, faking like his request was that expensive. “Only because I want to get you home, and I know you’ll never quit whining if I don’t.”

You slipped onto his lap, the action already drawing attention from partygoers just for the potential of what was to come.

He grasped your hips to still you before you started to move, his palm pressing you back to him by your throat. “And don’t half-ass it yeah…or I might do the same when I get you home.”

--------

It wasn’t until Creeper hit his shoulder and informed him of how hard he was smiling that EZ realized his cheeks ached. He couldn’t help it, he loved watching you dance more than anything.

As soon as you heard a melody you liked, you came alive to it, and stole everyone’s attention. You could find the beat on anything.

That wasn’t his sole reason for cheesing so hard though. Tonight had been the first night you brought your closest friends around the club, and he knew it took great trust in him, his brothers, and your relationship to do that. Your family was on the East Coast, so your friends filled that role for you. Coupled with EZ, they were your world and he thanked you everyday for letting him in.

“Gonna stop calling you boy scout if you keep enjoying the show this much.” Creeper took the seat across from him, half blocking his view.

“Oh you didn’t know how EZ gets down?” Angel’s lips formed that mischievous grin, his eyes taking on the same glint. “You should’ve seen him begging me for tales from Angel’s crib.”

“She and her girls look good out there. Might be too much for you junior.”

EZ rolled his eyes at the ribbing from his brothers, his grin still intact. “At some point I’m gonna be patched, I’m happy to make a cage date for that day. Pretty sure I can take both of you.

Creeper and Angel exchanged exaggerated incredulous expressions.

“See what happens when you go easy on the help?” Angel scoffed. “You sound like you’re hurtin’ for work prospect.”

“Could use some more water.” Creeper shook his water bottle at him, just barely missing splashing him.

EZ rose from his seat, empty beer bottle in hand. “Just remember that day is coming.”

Angel and Creeper laughed raucously at that.

“Don’t get your ass beat in front of your woman lil bro!”

EZ shook his head, choosing to ignore his dumbass older brother. and tossed his bottle in the trash. Slipping through the moving bodies until he was near you, he gently patted your friend who nodded and stepped from behind you.

You jumped, surprised at his sudden appearance, but settled back against him.

“Hey baby.” You gently encouraged him to follow the sway of your hips as he placed his head on your shoulder.

“Hey. I’m back on the slave clock, you want anything?”

You turned to him, his arms instinctively encircling your waist. “Hard tea please.”

“I gotta go to the trailer for that, and get the variety hour table over there a drink. I’ll try to be quick.”

“Don’t rush, but remember, you owe me a dance.” You cupped his cheeks and pressed a kiss to his lips.

He grinned goofily, his attention solely yours until he felt your girls draping themselves over him.

“Can you get us some too Zeke? Thanks.” “Preciate it Z.”

You giggled pushing them off him, but you knew he didn’t mind. You guys were a package deal and he’d take whatever you came with. At least their requests came with pleasantries.

“Sure ladies, not a problem. Don’t let anyone take her while I’m gone.”

They laughed, giving affirmative replies while you rolled your eyes pushed him towards the side door.

Once he began his drink fulfillment quest, it was like every brother wanted something from him. It was a full house that night and he should’ve known once he was no longer under Angel’s break protection, he was back to errand boy status.

Every task he completed was met with teasing about how his rushed pace clearly pointed to him wanting to get back to you. He didn’t argue the fact, just moved faster every time you were mentioned.

Finally, he was able to to focus on your request when he stopped being flagged down.

He was heading to the trailer when one of your friends stopped him.

“One of the other charter’s guys is annoying our girl. She doesn’t wanna make a fuss cause’..you know.” She gestured to his vest to signify his prospect status. “But I know she’s not feeling it.”

He could feel the the muscles in his jaw flex in anger, feet carrying him across the crowded yard. People moved before he could plow through them, which was just as well, because he wasn’t fully in control at that point, and didn’t think he could slow down enough to sidestep them.

The clubhouse had filled considerably since his absence. He scanned the room for you, finding you in a crowd of moving bodies. Your friend was right, you had a good poker face, but your man knew you.

He didn’t waste time physically separating you from the Yuma patch member. He gently put you behind his person, feeling your small hands press against his back through his vest.

“I’m good baby. He agreed this was the last dance.” Your voice belied your annoyance despite your words.

“I’m guessing he said that more than once.”

“I don’t mind, I know clu-“

Yuma interrupted you. “See, she doesn’t mind. Go find something to do with yourself prospect.”

“I’ve got a project in mind.” EZ pushed you back a little more to give himself room to work with.

“Be smart bare vest.” Yuma smirked, his eyes saying how much he’d love for EZ to make the mistake he was thinking about.

In the span of the next few seconds, Yuma’s vest and shirt was covered in beer and Coco had appeared at the same time. If the obvious way he was holding the bottle didn’t give away he did it on purpose, his dry “my bad” and shrug did.

Yuma swung on Coco who anticipated it and dodged it, before firing back with a successful punch of his own. A sea of Mayans of mixed charter filled the space and EZ quickly pushed you behind the bar before he lost you in the shuffle.

Understanding what Coco had done, he got in the middle to give the Yuma patch what he’d been asking for while he was covered by the chaos.

It didn’t last long before the presidents stepped in, but it didn’t have to. He was happy to take the few licks he’d received, because he was pretty sure he’d broken Yuma patch’s nose, and would get away with it.

His brother’s words against theirs, and the presidents didn’t feel the need to make it a drawn out issue. He pretended to have played bouncer instead of active participant, and it all ended with a basic chewing out.

His only thoughts were of you once his rage had subsided, and he could think clearly again. Had he scared off you and your friends? Embarrassed you?

He was happy to find that hadn’t. Your friends couldn’t help but fawn over him and how “perfect for you” he was. He especially enjoyed reveling in the jealousy of Coco, Angel, Gilly, and Creeper. Coco slightly less salty when he got praise for his efforts.

He got his admiration from you later when you patched him up in the trailer, soft voice telling him how sexy he looked to you, and how you appreciated him thinking of you in his position. You held his face and gently went over everything you could find, while he said on his makeshift bed content to let you.

He couldn’t stop grinning, the one that always got him mercilessly mocked because it was now associated with him thinking of you.

“Seriously EZ,” you dabbed at the final cut you hadn’t attended to. “Thank you.”

“I want you to feel safe with me, it’s only fair if you can accept all this shit.”

You grinned down at him, hair framing your face, and he had to remind himself to breathe at the sight. “I do, all the time.”

He cupped the side of your face, unwilling to fight the urge to kiss you any longer.

You laughed speaking between kisses. “I’m not done.”

“It’s ok, I’m good.” He chased your lips, unashamed to want you so badly.

“Ok,” you returned his kisses, your fingers dancing down the nape of his neck. “But I’d like to cash in that dance you owe me…you know, before we get too busy.”

He rose to full height, hands finding both of yours. “I can do that.”

AN:

I don’t speak Spanish, so if I made a mistake feel free to hop in my messages and let me know and how to fix it please. You’re more than welcome to.

1.) I remember seeing a meme vid about this years ago, and finding it hilarious. I could see this happening with these dudes and their personalities. That, and I just really wanted a lil southern culture in a Mayans drabble. 🤷🏾‍♀️

2.) I did a rewatch of the whole series (including the original), and I’m back on the obsession train. Just tryna to be happy before S4 kicks my shit in.

3.) I kept telling myself I wouldn’t end up writing for these fools and here I am in my Ringling Bros. best🤡.

#mayans mc #mayans imagine #angel reyes #angel reyes x reader #Coco Cruz #Coco Cruz x reader #ez reyes x reader #ez reyes #reader insert

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