rambleonaud
Rambles
Writing, weird dreams, thoughts and the like. Mainly so I don't clog up my art blog too much. Main @cyandocs
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I've been unintentionally basically polyphase sleeping for the past while so I had MULTIPLE weird dreams last night:
-I was in a group of weird ritualistic vikings(?) who would make a sacrifice every Christmas of some random woman. It made me incredibly upset but I didn't know how to get out of it. I had visions of being the person they would eventually sacrifice.
-I was on a road trip with my family and people kept trying to steal our car. One time we went into a gas station and found a group of campers loading their shit into the back of it. When I confronted them, they just glared at me silently as I screamed at them until my voice went hoarse. Then a couple- a man and a woman- were looking over the car WHILE I WAS IN IT and the girl slid in through the window as I drove off.
-I was in high school again as an adult for undisclosed bureaucratic reasons but everyone else in the class seemed to have been in some sort of stasis, so I was thinking about people I wished I had interacted with more when I was there the first time. There was a blonde girl who was obviously ostracized for being weird and I agreed to go to her birthday party. We also partnered up for an assignment but where we were sitting there was this plant hanging on a ceiling fan that fell down. When I tried to fix it I like adjusted it wrong(?) and the teacher got PISSED and proceeded to punish the both of us by saying we needed to finish our project that day (despite the fact I hadn't read the book). He tried to make me kneel in apology as well and that's when I lost it and tore into him. Between the stress and the anger and feeling bullied and singled out, I woke up crying.
-I was in some asylum/ care center and was trying to help the other patients have some fun by sneaking into this canteen to play music. People seemed to show up there first and THEN get sick.
Anyway, the tone was generally upsetting and gross. No particular clue why.
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New character concept: This but with like 100 snakes in various items of clothing
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If a convicted felon can run for office, they should be allowed to vote. If a convicted felon cannot vote, they should not be allowed to run for office.
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I'm sure this has already been approached but I felt like Kamen from Scavengers Reign and Hollow (telepathic slug baby) are kind of an allegory for addiction? Or maybe mental health problems in general?
It offers a means of escape, first maybe from an actual bad situation, then just bad feelings. It compels you further in by making you feel helpless and worthless. Then you're serving it. You feed it regularly and it feels good. Or deserved at least. And then when you can't take it anymore it BECOMES you. You become inextricable from it. You destroy your life willingly and readily with it. If you want to escape it, you suddenly don't know how.
It takes a massive, often external effort to be removed from it. And when you are, it isn't destroyed. It just gets smaller. And you're still left as a person affected by it.
#scavengers reign#scavengers reign spoilers#scavengers reign Hollow#that's what they call it in the captions at least#and if that ain't damning enough as it is
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John was more than used to being at the business end of a knife, though maybe not for this particular circumstance.
"Two weeks ago," the man with the switchblade to his throat began, "I was asked to examine what was believed to be a ritualistic suicide." Before John could say a word, the man continued- "Their autopsies came up with them all having the same, multiple, diseases and infections. All of which they could not, should not have."
John had no reason to play dumb, but he did. "What does that have to do with me??" He feigned innocence. After decades of being pursued for his blood, and his aggressors refusing to listen to him, sometimes he had no other option than to let them live the consequences. It wasn't an option he came to lightly. It still hurt, after all, and healing from a fatal injury was gruesome and long.
"I found out they were looking for you. Didn't take long to find out why." He shifted the knife, and slowly removed it from John's neck, retracting the switchblade. "For an immortal, you're one stupid son of a bitch."
"I'm not trying to be." John admitted. "-Immortal, that is." He rectified. "Or stupid... But I suppose some arrogance comes with the territory." It had been a long time since anyone had shown interest in John's condition like this. He thought the blood rumors were as dead as those who started them. Sometimes he cursed written languages. "Normal people don't really... Come after me, anymore." The idea of immortality being physically attainable had basically become mythology, or perhaps some fantasy of the far future involving telomeres and nanobots. John realized he had space to run, though not far. But the man in front of him didn't seem to be too keen on slitting his throat right there in the parking garage, at least not at that very second, and his motivation had piqued John's interest.
"I... Seem to have this tendency to accidentally run headlong into the supernatural." The man shrugged. "I'm... Dr. Clive Perrington." He held out his hand to shake, then hesitated. "I'm uh. Sorry about." He gestured to the switchblade. "I thought you'd be more... On the defensive." He admitted, body language awkward.
"Same here, I guess...?" John said, surprised at the shift in tone.
"I think- I think your blood could be scientifically groundbreaking-" John tried to counter him, but Clive cut him off. "-Not for the reason the cult wanted it, but for the discovery and treatment of diseases. I majored in epidemiology but... Well, right now I'm a coroner."
"You... Don't think I murdered them, or something?" John was frankly unsure where he settled on that topic himself.
"Wha-? No, no- They drew enough blood to kill you under normal circumstances and then drank it." Clive wrinkled his nose. "I think the original cause of death sounds about right in that regard."
"Alright... I'm Johnathan Syracuse Doe."
"John... Doe. You're shitting me." Clive balked.
"Unfortunately no." John shrugged. "I'm probably part of the reason that moniker exists."
"I'm gonna need to see a birth certificate."
"Which century?"
...
Somehow, likely in part due to his equal curiosity to Clive's, John agreed to join Clive in what appeared to be a makeshift lab.
"It took a few bribes but a lot of the time some labs can't justify getting new equipment until it 'breaks' so..." Clive explained.
"Ok, first course of action:" Clive began, putting on his gloves and taking out a needle, "We draw your blood to test for diseases- most likely viral infections will be the most prominent." He examined John's arm for a proper vein. "Then we can see if there's anything there that does cause your... Condition."
As he reached over, the sleeve of his shirt hitched up a bit to reveal a line of skin covered in designs, ending just below where they could be hidden by long sleeves. "Tattoos." John said, wistfully.
"You don't have any?" Clive asked as he continued his work, seamlessly. "If I were in your state, I'd probably be covered."
"I've had a few, but my body metabolizes them completely pretty quickly. It... Doesn't like to be changed." John said, figuring that was the best way to describe it. The way his body sort of... Stagnated, going back to the way it was when it stopped aging, still felt so separate from him after all these years.
"I'd probably just get even more, in that case." Clive admitted.
"Yeah well. I never really got used to the pain anyway. Or needles..." John said, staring at the syringe.
Clive tapped his cheek to draw his attention. "When did you stop aging?" He asked, placidly.
"I'm not totally sure... I noticed when I turned 40. I had a beard for a while, and when I shaved it I still looked like... 25? The first time I knew I should've died, I was 50 in wartime."
"25 makes sense, it's about peak maturity before aging starts to deteriorate your health. When were you born?" Clive asked further.
"I think you folks call it The Dark Ages. Like... 800 CE?" John offered.
"You don't remember??" Clive looked on, baffled.
"My memory is about the same as an average person- the distance of time between 1800 and today feels like the same as between now and my fifth birthday. Also nobody really kept track because we didn't know how to read. I only learned after I turned 100." John admitted.
"Alright, first round is done." Clive smiled, pulling away the filled blood sample.
"Oh! I totally forgot. You're good." John laughed.
"It's good to not look, and better to not notice it's even there." Clive winked. "Alright. Let's get this tested. All this blood talk, and you'd think you're a vampire."
"And yet it seems like the opposite." John sighed. "Maybe Vampire talk is what started that misconception about my blood."
"Are they... Uh..." Clive sort of gestured with his hands to try and mime "solid".
"Real? Shit if I know. I've never recognized another immortal if I've seen them."
Clive only looked on sympathetically before finally setting to his work.
The two stayed up the entire night going between Clive centrifuging and testing multiple panels of blood, drawing more only when needed (supplemented with more stories from the both of them), and observing results under the microscope. John hovered a few times, trying to make sense of anything. He had gone down the medical path a few times, but the regularity of modern improvements left his mind in the dust more often than not. The sciences were never his strong suit, and it seemed like his brain was as resistant to change as his body was. He had learned, however, that he and Clive had similar upbringings- as similar as they could be, at least- born poor, lots of siblings, distant from their parents, striving for a better life... And an overall sense of loneliness.
Clive did crash, eventually. John needed little if any sleep. A few days without it would start to make him feel groggy, and maybe a week or so would get him close to delirium. He mostly rested his eyes while trying to ignore Clive's fitful rest.
Finally, after about 48 hours of straight testing, Clive proudly held a sheet on a clipboard.
"Ok, let's run it down: Measles, Scarlett Fever, Polio," Clive began.
"Got all three of those as a kid. Probably should've been the first sign." John offered.
"All forms of pox,"
"People used to think I would curse them with it." John laughed.
"The Bubonic Plague,"
"That was a hard one to explain surviving."
"Almost all of the influenza strains... Prion disease?"
"I got that from rancid meat, not humans, I swear." John held up his hands in surrender.
"Zika,"
"Spent a 'Life Layover', as I call 'em now, down South. Fucking mosquitos."
"That explains the Malaria,"
"I actually got that in what is now New Orleans."
"...And a whole host of live and dead bacteria. No STIs."
"I avoided those better than the plague. Got treated for any I did get after the invention of antibiotics, thank God. I like sex too much. The AIDS epidemic was... Hard." John folded his hands in his lap, reminiscing. "I'm used to losing people but that was... A lot. I didn't wanna hurt anybody..."
"Some of these diseases could probably still be spread that way." Clive admitted. "I'm surprised you're not a walking pandemic."
"There's like... A window? Where a disease obviously effects me, but there's a half life to them. It only seems to matter in direct contact with my blood after that time." John said. "I know through some... Probably unethical testing." He admitted, chuckling nervously.
"If that's the worst you've done with your immortality, then you're probably a pretty good person." Clive offered sympathetically. "As for why you can't die, that doesn't seem evident in your blood. The cells divide and die at the same rate as any other I've seen." Clive sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "So whatever this is, it's probably external."
"...So a curse. That probably checks out." John said, balefully.
"Like I said, I tend to run into some weird paranormal stuff." Clive said. "I can probably help you figure it out... If you could use a friend?"
"I wouldn't hate that." John said. "...Do you just need more of my blood, though?"
"Is it bad if it's a little symbiotic?" Clive laughed. "-But honestly, it's great for research, but it's not the be-all, end-all. I just.. Feel like I can help."
"I'm probably gonna outlive you."
"Somebody's gotta."
"I can't help you get what I have."
"I don't want it. Hell, I'm effectively trying to get you killed, right??" Clive joked. It wasn't totally untrue. John doubted becoming mortal would offer him a complete life. Instead, it would probably just kill him on the spot. But anything was possible.
Seeing himself age along with the first person in millennia to make him really want to live, even for just a few days, was possible.
"...Sure." John smiled.
You are an immortal, having to deal with the rather troublesome rumour that your blood grants immortal life. However, what those after your blood don’t know is that since you can’t die, you are an excellent host to several deadly bacteria and viruses-all existing peacefully in your blood.
#writing#short story#writing prompt#immortality#writeblr#writing prompts#this is like the third time I've written this out#I tried to write it all on here and that was. A mistake#App kept force closing and I'd lose my progress m#So this was basically edited twice#notes app my beloved
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So my dad got Masterclass for the fam and I was like, oh cool I can use the creative learning thing! Surely there are loads of illustration and/or cartooning classes!
And... There really aren't. There are a few art classes but most of the 'visual arts' stuff is for video and photography. And even that selection isn't nearly as robust as I thought it would be.
It's more "listen to your favorite famous people talk about Vague Concepts"
#online learning#masterclass#subscription services#art#drawing#from what I saw there was an abstract art thing from a street artist#a drawing realistic portraits course#and a graphic design course#which I probably still look into#and the creative writing courses look fun#but I really wanted to look into a course on maybe more stylization of the basics?#I thought I would see AT LEAST one animation class
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I was tired all day because I woke up early and I tempted fate by opening a cheeky little long fic "to read a little bit of before bed ((LIAR))" and now it's 4am weeeeee
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This is Tulsi 1000%, though sometimes I can guess like she wants a door that she's not allowed in to be opened
She's started doing this thing in the morning where she'll come in and scream at me like an alarm clock. I guess she could just want me to come over to "my spot" on the couch to pet her. Or just wants morning cuddles. She also obsessively kneads at me to the degree I need to redirect her so she doesn't tear up my arms.
She wasn't weaned early or separated from her mama, I got her at 3 months and she was still with her mom and siblings. I think she's just a little obsessive about things.
I think sometimes cats don’t actually know what specifically they want – they’re just generally dissatisfied, so they stand there yelling “I YEARN” on the off chance that you’ll be able to do something about it.
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I have a kind of paradoxical question about The Book of Job- and I'm sure push comes to shove the answer is just "it's a metaphor" but given there is at least some drive to interpret the Bible literally- God was... Talking to Satan. The Great Deceiver. Who basically gave God an ultimatum that Job would not love Him if Job didn't benefit from Him, which prompts God to UNDULY TORTURE this pious man, under the prospect offered to Him by a creature KNOWN TO HATE AND TORTURE HUMANITY
Either God was DUPED by Satan, or He knew He was right anyway and was just such a megalomaniac He just decided to prove this to Satan FOR SHITS N GIGGLES
#religion#bible questions#secular perspective#I was not raised religious but I know a few books#Job#from the perspectives I've heard at least it genuinely seemed more like a bet than some challenge#and iirc it wasn't Satan acting on this#he just maybe like tempted Job?#but did not directly cause the suffering#that was all God baybee
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HELL
YES.
I used to love this assortment when I could eat it and I can!! Again!!
#food#gluten free#celiac#they've always been made of rice but that damn sneaky soysauce#They're very good
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yes girl I think it’s incredibly sexy how indecisive you are about every single decision in your life. I also love how you haven’t let anything go since you were 12. can we make out now
#oh no.#why is it me#why is girl me#I'm sorry in advance to future partners I just wanna lay it all out on the table so you can decide if it's worth it
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I look back at some moments of my life, like in school, where I would genuinely just. Forget. Like things would just stop existing to me and only pop up again when mentioned.
I have a very prominent memory of looking over a notebook with my teacher and she asked "where are X and Y assignments for these days?" And I was just. Flabbergasted. What do you mean. Either I did my assignments or I wasn't aware of this. And there would just be days of missing shit. And I had no clue where that went.
It happened a lot with things that were assigned via books or like... Implied? A lot of the time some chapter would be like "Exercise: Try this!" And I think that was what my teachers wanted but it was never clarified. Or if it was, I was completely unaware somehow.
Realizing now that lack of awareness may have been that "Attention deficit" part of ADHD...
I think maybe I tested really well and didn't make too much fuss but I'm just slowly realizing the number of times I was VIOLENTLY struggling in school and thought: this is normal and fine, I'll figure it out. And I wondered why I developed such bad anxiety.
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Listen I don't know how much I have going for me. But for potential marriage/long term partners, I feel like they'd have some pretty awesome inlaws. I come with built in supportive family. Does that mean I have zero issues, esp with family dynamics stuff? ABSOLUTELY NOT but I'm aware of it and THEY'RE aware of it
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Next week I FINALLY have a checkup/consultation with a dentist who takes my fam's insurance that will likely lead to my wisdom teeth being removed!!
THAT'S FOR CROWDING OUT MY NICE BOTTOM ROW OF TEETH YE BASTARDS
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