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marvel-pottah-dc · 3 years

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Hogwarts Houses - Marvel

Summary: When you woke up at the dead of night, you weren’t expecting the Avengers demanding for you to sort them into their houses.

Warnings: None, except for a few swears here and then. Gender-neutral reader, with feminine themes.

Word Count: 1.1k

Author’s Note: In this fanfiction, you are a Slytherin, because I am, and -- well, I just want to. However, you don’t have to actually be a Slytherin to read this, because I love all houses -- especially Hufflepuff. You can mentally change it to Gryffindor, Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff if you want, but shout out to my fellow Slytherins!

“Y/N!” Tony whined like a child, tugging at your sleeve, making you roll your eyes at him mockingly.

“Yes, Tony?” You said deliberately, rubbing your eyes groggily as you yawned. Who in their right mind would be awake at the dead of night -- 3am? Well, Tony Stark, of course.

“Come to the living room,” Tony told you as you slipped on a green sweater over your pajamas. Not even questioning him, used to his antics, you nearly jumped when you saw the Avengers looking at you like a God -- not Thor or Loki, of course. Like... well... yeah.

Natasha and Clint were huddled together, Clint’s head on the former spy’s lap, a blank space next to them, presumably where Tony had sat, as Peter was sitting on a couch comfortably, eyes glued to his phone. Bucky and Sam were fighting over the beanbag the opposite of Peter, Steve and Rhodey watching the two in amusement as Bruce and Thor sat together, talking about something in hushed voices, Mjolnir on the table. Wanda was sitting with Vision, sitting together on the other couch.

“What’s going on?” You questioned, praying it wasn’t a mission because damnit you weren’t ready for a mission at the waking hours of dawn. Everyone seemed wide awake, though, even Peter, so you tried to hide your exhaustion.

“We need you to sort us into our Hogwarts Houses,” Natasha stated in all seriousness that it nearly made you laugh at loud. You didn’t, thankfully, but had a grin on your face as you looked at them.

The Avengers wanted your help to sort them into their Hogwarts Houses.

You had introduced them to Harry Potter about a month ago, and they’ve been completely obsessed with it, frequently having movie nights and having book reading sessions.

But, then again, only you had read and watched all the Harry Potter films and books about 10 times each, being a huge Potterhead. You were a Slytherin, and you’d always wondered what Hogwarts House your fellow teammates were in. Some were obvious, like Peter was a Hufflepuff and Steve was a Gryffindor, but others were more complex, like Tony and Bruce.

“What?” You asked, just to confirm the statement. You weren’t even sure if this was a dream or not, and you really weren’t eager to start pinching yourself.

Everyone nodded in unison, except for Peter, who was practically bouncing on the couch with excitement.

“Alright, then,” your voice trailed off as Tony cleared his throat.

“Not quite yet,” Tony said dramatically as everyone’s heads swiveled towards him as F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoed in the room.

“The merchandise has arrived, sir,” the AI said as Peter bounded out and came back with a pile of robes and wands. Your eyes widened -- this was heaven.

“Alright, now you can continue,” Tony said, directing the attention back to you as you slightly blushed under the gaze, but your voice was firm.

“We’re starting with the more obvious ones,” a series of groans echoed in the room. “Peter -- you’re a Hufflepuff.”

Peter nodded confidently, effortlessly grabbing a Hufflepuff robe and slipping it on, and after a while, chose Newt Scamander’s wand and stood in the corner. Sam mocked, “Oooh! You’re in the worst house!”

You scowled at Sam, who gulped but still wasn’t willing to back down. You snapped, “For your information, Hufflepuff is the best Hogwarts House.” Peter cheered for you.

“And Steve, our resident ice block,” you grinned at Steve who only shook his head exasperatedly -- and excitedly -- at you. Tony and you high-fived. “Is in Gryffindor.”

Steve pulled on the robe before it nearly ripped apart, Tony, Bucky, you and Sam laughing at his disgruntled expression before he frustratedly threw the robe in the corner, ignoring Tony’s groans before grabbing Harry Potter’s wand. After a few tugs, he took an Gryffindor scarf and tied it around his neck, which was the only article of clothing he could fit in.

“Sam’s a Gryffindor, of course,” you scoffed as Sam cheered, pulled on his Gryffindor robe which barely fit him -- but at least it didn’t rip like Steve’s -- got Fred Weasley’s wand and stood next to Steve in the corner with Peter next to them, although more far away.

“Wanda,” you paused for a dramatic affect, although you were actually thinking, “You are a Slytherin. No doubt -- the second best Hogwarts House!” You beamed with house pride as you and Wanda hugged before she fit in the Slytherin robes without any effort, grabbed Grindelwald’s wand and stood next to Peter.

“Clint, Hufflepuff.” You threw the yellow scarf towards him, unwilling to have the mental image of Clint wearing robes in your mind. Clint wore it on nonchalantly, although he seemed a little surprised, but you were glad to see that he wasn’t complaining. Natasha patted him on the head before he went off to get a tie and Neville Longbottom’s wand, and stood next to Peter, before you snorted at the height difference between the queue.

“Tony is a Slytherin, along with Natasha,” the two nodded at each other as if plotting to plan a war against the other houses, which you no doubt thought would happen as Natasha put on a Slytherin Tie and Draco Malfoy’s wand as Tony put on his Slytherin Robes and got Tom Riddle’s wand. No Ravenclaws for now, you thought, feeling a little bad for the blue house.

“Why is nearly everyone either in Gryffindor, Hufflepuff or Slytherin?” You whined as you pointed to Rhodey to go to the Gryffindor queue, him putting on a tie and getting Hermione Granger’s wand as well before he hurried off to join Steve, Bucky and Sam.

“And our first Ravenclaw,” you said dramatically, pointing to Vision who had a smile spread across his face as he wore his blue robes, got Luna Lovegood’s wand and started his own queue. Thor went over to join Gryffindor too like a golden retriever, booming, “I AM IN GRYFFINDOR!”

You looked at Bruce, the only avenger left who was yet to be sorted. He looked nervous, and you wondered if he was a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff. Scrap that -- he was a Ravenclaw. Besides, there needed to be more Ravenclaws anyways.

“Our last Avenger is a Ravenclaw!” You cheered as the other houses groaned, Bruce wearing a scarf, getting Cho Chang’s wand and joining Vision. You hopped into the Slytherin queue as you grinned at Tony.

“Alright, so what do you want to do next? House rivalry?” As you looked at the mischievous looks spreading across the Avenger’s faces, you groaned.

As they ran off to do who knows what, you screamed, “We’ll need to deduct house points as well!”

Fin.

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