howmuchlonger2be
TW: vent blog
She/they/he | 🏳️🌈 | Omni (gray-) aroace | call me Seph | I am not okay but anyways
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Left hand drawing of the creatures + my brain friends and foes
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I'm so exhausted... always being someone's unnoficial therapist... don't get me wrong, I DO WANT to HELP... but there's only so much I can do and I am struggling myself and I feel so bad for being tired of it but also urgh... please.... I don't know what I'm doing??? How am I supposed to help??
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What is the normal amount of time spent thinking abt how to loose weight? And what's the normal frequency of thinking abt throwing up after eating?
Asking for a concerned friend
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did I ever mention that I know someone whose family owned a zombie dog because that’s some real shit that I get to delight with at parties
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not sims 4 cc making me find a new label that fits well...
Like I was looking for the demifluid flag as a cc for sims and I stumbled upon a long list of flags and I found Biflux... and I googled... and something clicked... and I googled Omniflux and it clicked...
I literally found a new label bc of the sims!?
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Wow
I actually reached this
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the question "If..."
If I wrote a suicide letter,
Would you read it?
If I was laying on the kitchen floor,
my moms sharpest knife in one hand,
blood dripping on the floor,
Would you read it?
Carefully word for word?
If I wrote a suicide letter,
and went through with it,
would you think about what-could-have-beens if you saw the signs earlier?
Would you read the letter?
If you saw me lying there,
dead,
Would you wish it was you instead?
If I were dead?
Would you curse every wrong word you ever said?
Every fight we had?
Would you wonder,
how many times I wanted to reach out to you,
but ended up not doing so?
If I wrote a suicide letter,
and you later found me dead,
strangled in my bed,
with that one single belt I owned,
Would you feel regret for not knowing it before?
If I wrote a suicide letter,
and finally managed to let go,
Would you read it?
Word for word?
Cursing this hateful world?
If I wrote a suicide letter,
could I finally go through,
would I finally let all these thoughts win against me?
If I wrote a suicide letter,
what would I even write?
“I’m sorry mom and dad, I simply lost the fight?”
If I wrote a suicide letter,
would it finally make sense,
all the shit that’s going on in my head,
all the gore and all the pain,
why I felt like I was slowly going insane?
If I wrote a suicide letter,
Would I rejoice and think again?
Would I sink in regret?
would I finally find the words,
clear and bold,
why feeling alive felt so wrong?
If I wrote a suicide letter,
Would it just be a note?
Or would it be more than a thousand words,
with chapters and a layout?
If I wrote a suicide letter,
If I wrote a suicide letter,
If I wrote a suicide letter,
I wish I could just write one,
just to find out…
and maybe then I’d stop being a coward,
and let me go
#tw suicide#tw sui thaughts#tw mention of suicide ideation#tw sui ideation#poem#depression#suicide#depressive#a scream for help?#maybe?#idk
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Ich schaue mir die Naben auf meinen Armen und Beinen an und denke mir, dass es nicht schlimm genug ist. Die Narben erscheinen mir so harmlos und nicht gerechtfertigt für den Schmerz den ich durchmache. Ich würde so gerne neue hinzufügen. Tiefere und viel "schlimmere". Ich möchte meine Narben nicht verharmlosen. Jede Narbe hat ihren Grund. Doch irgendwie erscheint es mir nicht auszureichen. Ich möchte den ganzen Schmerz nach außen tragen, doch gleichzeitig möchte ich auch, dass niemand sieht wie sehr mich alles kaputt macht.
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Just one more month...
...until it has finally been two years
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Gender update:
I'm Demifluid 🥳
(Took me long enough to relise)
I hope it stays this way...
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ANOTHER gender crisis...
I am so done with this
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Okay, i'm curious:
If you identify as more than one of these labels just pick the one you feel more strongly connected to :)
#queer#gender#demigender#demigirl#demifluid#demiflux#demiboy#demiagender#trans#demienby#genderqueer#lgbtqia+#lgtb#lgbtq#lgbt#polls
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Ah yes
Being on my period is the perfect time for ma Gender to go "boy"
I loooove this/s
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