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Filming, Blogging, Research, Ethnography, Maven.
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[Y/N Sionis’ Ransom Video: Act Two]
[Act One]
Jason, as Red Hood, holding a note: Read it right this time. No funny business.
Y/N: Don’t you mean “no funny businesses”? And I did read it right. It said “businesses,” that’s what it said. You never told me to improv the note.
Jason, laughing in disbelief: Oh, improv! What are you, Meryl-fucking-Streep? Okay, improv it. [crumples the note and throws it away]
Y/N, even more sassier: These sexually frustrated degenerate losers mean business.
Roy, as Arsenal, still aiming his arrow at Y/N’s head: Don’t— don’t improv the note. Don’t improv the note.
[Crashing noise, then all cameras cut off]
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood#red hood x reader#roy harper#arsenal dc#incorrect dc#source: the big hit
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[Y/N Sionis’ Ransom Video: Act One]
[Act Two]
Jason, as Red Hood, holding a note: Read this.
Y/N: “Father…” [backs away in fear when Roy (as Arsenal) points his bow a little too close]
Jason: [pushes Roy away from her]
Y/N: “Father, I have been abduct. I am fine.”
Jason: Abducted.
Y/N: It says “abduct.”
Jason: Just say “abducted.”
Y/N: “I have been abducted. I am fine right now, but I might not be for [sassily] loring. If you do not pay the sun of one million doolers [laughs]…”
Jason: Wait a minute, wait a minute… “loring”? “The sun of one million doolers”? What the— [reads the note himself]
Y/N: That’s what it says!
Jason: That’s “long” and “the sum of one million dollars”! You know what it means!
Y/N: I don’t know what it means. You told me to read this. That’s what I’m doing.
Jason: Just say what it means! Okay? [holds the note towards her again]
Y/N, rolls eyes: “I might not be for long. If you do not pay the sum of one million dollars, you will never see me alive again. These men mean businesses.” [laughs] Who wrote this?
Roy: I told you letting Bizarro write the note is a bad idea.
Jason, massaging his temples: Cut the cameras.
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood#red hood x reader#roy harper#arsenal dc#incorrect dc#source: the big hit
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Y/N, being captured by the Penguin: I’m full of truth juice! Don’t tell him nothin’, Red—
Penguin, pointing a gun at her: Shut up, kid! You’re lucky I don’t hit girls!
Y/N: Me neither… but for you I’d make an exception~ OHHHHHHH!
Jason, as Red Hood, tied up next to her: OHHH!
Penguin: Enough!
Y/N: ₒₕₕₕₕₕ…
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood#red hood x reader#the penguin#oswald cobblepot#incorrect dc#source: borderlands
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Y/N, walking down the stairs: Okay, I’m ready. How do I look?
Dick, on his phone: Fine. Now, let’s go.
Y/N: Fine? I need gorgeous. [goes back upstairs] I’m changing.
Dick, looking up and seeing the outfit: No, wait, I-I meant gorgeous! [absolutely distraught] Why didn’t I say gorgeous? Why? …Why? [cries]
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#dick grayson#dick grayson x reader#nightwing#nightwing x reader#incorrect dc#source: the nanny
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Y/N, on the phone with Damian: Oh my, God! Someone’s just been hit by a car!
Damian: Are they unconscious?
Y/N: They didn’t look before crossing, but don’t blame them, they feel bad enough about it.
Damian: Where did the accident happen?
Y/N: By The Bowery McDonald’s, but they’re not there now. They walked off cause everyone was staring. They couldn’t bear it!
Damian: Okay. Did you follow them?
Y/N: …Yeah.
Damian: Can I talk to them?
Y/N: Yeah, you are doing that.
Damian: Tt. Yeah, I thought so.
Y/N: [groans]
Damian: Beloved, are you in pain!?
Y/N: No, I’m just so fucking embarrassed! Everyone was looking!
Damian: Have you broken anything?
Y/N: I don’t know… probably. What do you care?
Damian: Tt. What do you want me to do exactly?
Y/N: Call for an ambulance. No sirens, please. Unmarked ambulance if poss.
Damian: Only the goons have them.
Y/N: Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Damian: Excuse me?
Y/N: Shh, no! Please, be quiet. People are looking for me.
A bystander: Ah, look, there she is! [pointing at her] She’s crying! Look, she’s crying!
Y/N: [curls up into a ball and sobs]
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#damian wayne#damian wayne x reader#robin#robin x reader#incorrect dc#source: tiktok
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Y/N, Tim’s assistant, barging into his room to see him sleeping: You are in bed!
Tim, frantically sitting up and opening his laptop, trying to look busy: I am not in bed—
Y/N: That’s a bed.
Tim: —I am in my office.
Y/N: That’s a bed.
Tim: This is the office. [looking at his empty wrist] The time here is three o’clock. This is office hour.
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#tim drake#tim drake x reader#red robin#red robin x reader#incorrect dc#source: celebrity wife swap
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Y/N: Jay, we need to talk. I think this relationship has—
Jason: If you leave me, I will kill myself.
Y/N: [sighs in defeat and pats his hand]
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#jason todd#red hood#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#incorrect dc#source: family guy
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James: I love you.
Y/N: Yeah, cool. I love you too.
James: I want to stay with you. In your room. In your bed.
Y/N: Okay, well, that’s not gonna happen. Anyway…
#fwb type of thing ig#harry potter#james potter#james potter x reader#prongs#prongs x reader#incorrect harry potter#source: jamie private school girl
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Damian, on the phone: Hello, beloved. How was your day?
Y/N: It was good! Some guy called me cute today, though.
Damian: Well, I can’t blame him, he’s right.
Y/N: Aww! Thanks for not being jealous, babe. I’ll see you later today.
Damian: Okay, beloved, I’ll see you later. [hangs up and drops his smile] Sorry about that. Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you—I don’t know why I just lied, I am going to hurt you. I guess I was just trying to… comfort you, but that’s not why we’re here, is it? But you must have known at some level that this was going to happen?
The guy who called Y/N cute, all tied up:
Damian: No? Well, before we start, I do have one question I like to ask… what’s your favorite organ? [smiles menacingly as he twirls his knife]
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#damian wayne#damian wayne x reader#robin#robin x reader#incorrect dc#source: tiktok
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[Dinner at the Wilson’s]
Tim: Y/N? Well? Do you wanna tell Slade about what happened at school today?
Y/N: Um… o-oh, I flunked my math quiz.
Tim: No, the other thing!
Slade: What other thing? What happened at school today?
Y/N: Oh, the school shooting?
Tim: Yes, the school shooting!
Y/N: Oh, yeah, some kid shot up the school.
Slade: Who shot up the scho—was it you?
Y/N: No.
Slade: Did you get shot?
Y/N: No.
Slade: Oh. Well, what’s this about failing a math quiz?
#yn is slade’s kid#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#tim drake#tim drake x reader#red robin#red robin x reader#slade wilson#slade wilson x reader#deathstroke#deathstroke x reader#incorrect dc#source: south park
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Y/N, Dick’s latest and richest fling, rummaging through Dick’s pantry: What is with your lack of food? Are you okay, Dick?
Dick, laughing: I’m doing okay.
Y/N: Can you hand me my bag? [opens up her wallet] Dick, do you need some money? Do you need some cash, sweetheart? What are you eating today? Well, we’re going to lunch, I’ll pay for your meal. Poor thing. Dick, what happened?
Dick: I’m doing okay! I-I… it’s okay!
Y/N: Oh, Dick… people are going to feel too uncomfortable to be saved by you if they know that you’re [mouths the word] poor.
Dick, still laughing: Or am I just like them?
Y/N: I understand, like, relatable, but you’re not like them ‘cause you’re the son of Bruce Wayne and the brother of Tim Drake and Damian Wayne. So, then it just makes them feel… complicated.
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#dick grayson#dick grayson x reader#nightwing#nightwing x reader#incorrect dc#source: zach sang show
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Y/N, working as a delivery girl: Hi, sir, did you have the apple pie?
Jason: I did.
Y/N: I got a pie you could fill.
Jason: …Wait, what?
Y/N: What?
Jason: Huh?
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood#red hood x reader#incorrect dc#source: tiktok
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Y/N: [rambling]
Jason: [shushes her]
Y/N: …You tell me to shush? You tell me to what? You tell me to, huh? You tell me that I really shouldn’t worry, and I’m blowing it up?! But I’m falling in love! Do you want to break up!?
Jason:
#poor guy is just trying to think#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood#red hood x reader#incorrect dc#source: emei - love me not
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[At Damian & Y/N’s wedding]
Alfred: I now pronounce you, husband and wi—
Jason, who is uninvited by Damian and is petty about it, so he decides to cause some chaos: HE CHEATED ON YOU!!
Damian, who has never once betrayed Y/N: WHO SAID THAT!?
Jason:
Damian: Who said that? Who said that…?
Alfred: I now pronounce you, husband and—
Jason: HE SLEPT WITH YOUR SISTER!!
Damian: WHO SAID THAT!?!
Jason:
Damian: WHO SAID THAT SH—
Alfred, speeding up: Inowpronounceyouhusban—
Jason: HIS HAIRLINE’S RECEDING!!
Damian, taking out his katana as he finally catches sight of Jason: [screaming]
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#jason todd#red hood#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#damian wayne#robin#damian wayne x reader#robin x reader#incorrect dc#source: tiktok
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Y/N, working at the drive-thru: Welcome to Carl’s Jr., what may I get for you?
Dick: Yurrrr!
Y/N, sighing: Oh, my gosh… 12.78.
Dick: Wait, what happened?
Y/N: 12.78.
Dick: I-I haven’t even ordered yet, darling.
Y/N: Twelve. Seventy. Eight. Pull to the window!
Dick: Wha—uh… let-let me get a, uh, a double western bacon cheese—
Y/N: Yes, yes, YES… THE DOUBLE WESTERN BACON CHEESEBURGER! Extra barbecue sauce with three tenders, two ranch, and two barbecue sauces! Why are you playing, Richard John Grayson!?
Dick: Damn, baby. How did you know it was me?
Y/N: You’re the only loser that comes to my drive thru saying, “YURRRRR!”, at 2:55pm! And I can smell that fuckboy Sauvage cologne!
Dick, holding in his laugh: You good, baby? You need a raise, but, yeah, let me get that, uh… [thinking for a bit] and a chocolate shake. Yeah, let-let me get a chocolate shake. You know I want a chocolate shake since you know everything? Ye-yeah, le-le-let me… add-add a chocolate shake—
Y/N: DICK, IF YOU DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING ASS TO THIS WINDOW AND STOP PLAYING WITH ME! I JUST CLOCKED IN!… AND YOU’RE LACTOSE INTOLERANT! YOU DON’T DRINK MILK! FUCKING LOSER! 12.78, PULL UP TO THIS WINDOW!
Dick, full-on laughing: Aye, you good?
Y/N: DAMN!
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#dick grayson#nightwing#dick grayson x reader#nightwing x reader#incorrect dc#source: tiktok
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Jason, as Red Hood, after Y/N hosed him down for using her animal-shaped shrubs for target practice out of boredom: You’re a fucking asshole!
Y/N, a civilian: Fuck you, get out of my garden!
Jason: I’ll shit in your fucking garden!
Y/N, hosing him down again: Go fuck yourself!
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#jason todd#red hood#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#incorrect dc#source: south park
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Dick: Guys, I don’t know how much longer I can pretend to know what engineers do. Like, I genuinely have no clue what engineering even means.
Y/N: My dad is an engineer. He just goes to work and comes back, I don’t know.
#they might be high tbh#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#dick grayson#nightwing#dick grayson x reader#nightwing x reader#incorrect dc#source: tiktok
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